Oldvine
Sous Chef
We got the higher dose vaccine and I had slight ache in my arm for about 24 hours, my husband felt nothing except the cold swab of alcohol. One case of the flu in my life time made a believer out of me... we get the vaccine
The Sick Room
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If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
Kayelle
Chef Extraordinaire
Thanks so much for all the good wishes ((((friends)))).
I hate talking about my myself but felt I should fill you in on the latest.
Because of all the meds I'm feeling much better with a lower heart rate now(60-100 BPM,) however I slid back into A Fib again. Sigh. I saw the Dr. on Thurs. and he wants to do yet another cardio version next Fri. morning. That will be the 6th one since this all started again. An Ablation of the heart will probably be needed within the very near future, but we'll see. As always, Souchef has really been both my rock, and my soft place to fall.
SC is helping on the Christmas tree train today, and I'm feeling good enough to drive into Ventura and get a much needed haircut. I have so darn much hair I'm starting to look like Bozo the clown.
Woo Hooo..I had a big smile yesterday when I found out I didn't have to show up at the hospital this morning for another cardioversion because I spontaneously went back into normal rhythm for now.
What to do next will be determined next Thurs. the 19th.
CWS4322
Chef Extraordinaire
I am sitting by my Mom's bed, as I have been for a week. She went into hospital while I was in Ontario. She is dying. My Dad is in denial. What I wish someone had told me was how hard this would be. I didn't know her eyes would change colour, or her skin. I didn't know the howls she would make in the night would chill me to the bone. I didn't know how hard the floor in her bedroom would be to sleep on.I didn't know how hard it would be to give her that first dose of morphine, or how much easier it would be to give her the next dose. I didn't know how hard it would be to deal with my father who is totally in DENIAL as he writes his Christmas cards and wants us to have Christmas...no offense to DCers who are Jewish, but I am preparing to sit Shiva and never want to acknowledge Christmas again. I read her columns out loud to her that she wrote for the newspaper they owned when I was a child--fun times, try hard to hide my tears and that lump that climbs into my throat and almost chokes me. I read her Winnie-the-Pooh and, I spend a lot of time sitting in her room. I also sneak up on her hospital bed and cuddle next to her as I try to keep my tears from flowing. I know I shouldn't do that, but that is where I can finally get an hour or so of sleep, with my head on her chest listening to her heartbeat holding her clawed hand in mine. A daughter's relationship with her mother is one that cannot be explained. I know my Mom's heartbeat from the inside. I will miss her every day for the rest of my life. I am madder than h#ll at my brother for dying and leaving me alone to deal with this. He better be ready to take her home.Even though I would love just five more minutes befure I let him have her.
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Cheryl J
Chef Extraordinaire
Kay....so glad to hear that the meds have helped!
CWS....so very sorry to hear about your mom. That is indeed hard. I went through home hospice with my mom and was so thankful for the helpful nurses and meds. Still a hard thing to go through, though. I hope you can let go of your anger towards your brother....
CWS....so very sorry to hear about your mom. That is indeed hard. I went through home hospice with my mom and was so thankful for the helpful nurses and meds. Still a hard thing to go through, though. I hope you can let go of your anger towards your brother....
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CWS I am so sorry and I hope that you are able to keep her comfortable and find some Peace in your heart and mind. You are the best Daughter, ever.
CWS4322
Chef Extraordinaire
There are days I am not mad at my brother. I do, however, not agree with dying at home without family support. I really like that Canada has physician-assisted dying. I won't have to die like my Mom is. As an RN, this is not how she would have wanted to die.
Oh CWS, I'm so sorry you are going through this. Hang in there.
CW, heartfelt hugs to you, hope you find peace in your heart. I feel your mother knows that you are there and is comforted. It may not show but she knows. More hugs and peace.
Just Cooking
Master Chef
CW...Having experienced what you are going through with my mother, first wife and son, I can only offer a sincere virtual hug..
Stay strong..
Ross
Stay strong..
Ross
CWS4322
Chef Extraordinaire
I so don't want to hear she is in a better place when this is over...I so don't want to hear anything other than so sorry for your loss, for those are the words that mean the most. That is one thing I learned when my brother died and I found him dead. So sorry.
cjmmytunes
Head Chef
CWS, I am so sorry to hear this. My mom and I took turns sitting with my grandmother as she took journey to her other home to be with the rest of her family. I send you my thoughts and prayers during this time.
It was hard for me to read your posts, CWS. I just went through a harrowing time this month as my brother experienced similar symptoms you describe...howling, extreme pain, etc. He was given both morphine an fentanyl and they barely helped.
He was young, just turned 63. I have good days and bad days. I had no idea the bad days could be so painful. Brought back Buck's death, too.
I wish you strength as you make your way on this journey.
He was young, just turned 63. I have good days and bad days. I had no idea the bad days could be so painful. Brought back Buck's death, too.
I wish you strength as you make your way on this journey.
CWS4322
Chef Extraordinaire
Thank you. I watched an episode of The Good Doctor where a character was dying...my response...that is so not what people look like when they are dying. It is so hard. I take comfort cuddling up next to her with my hand on her chest...feeling her heartbeat. Good thing I am tiny enough to do that. Hugs to you Katie H. As I said, giving the first dose of morphine was hard---it meant I accepted she was dying...the 2nd dose was easier...now that I have given the third dose, I am waiting...waiting...I have to remember to breathe. My Dad has finally selected the funeral home (he's making arrangements today). That was the question that gobsmacked me when my brother passed...how was I to select a funeral home when I wasn't expecting to find him dead and there were over 200 to pick from? In North America, we shy away from discussing death and dying. For the people who have to pick up the pieces, that is not fair. Please, I beg all of you, make arrangements so that your loved ones can grieve and not have to deal with picking up the pieces.
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Andy M.
Certified Pretend Chef
CWS, I can't imagine what you're going through. It's awful to watch a loved one suffer and feel helpless to ease their pain. Our thoughts are with you.
Had my follow up appointment with my surgeon today. I asked him when I could go back to work, he asked me when I wanted to go back. Next Monday, that would give me time to get back on my sleep schedule. He said, "How about January 6th?" Drat! But, I am able to pick up 20 lbs now and can drive.
Incision looks good, graft site looks terrible and will take some nursing to get it healed. Other than that, I feel okay, still some pain and I tire easily. Cardiac Rehab next week, oh joy!
Incision looks good, graft site looks terrible and will take some nursing to get it healed. Other than that, I feel okay, still some pain and I tire easily. Cardiac Rehab next week, oh joy!
Kayelle
Chef Extraordinaire
Thanks for the report PF..I've been wondering how you are really doing. My best wishes for your continued recovery, as you've sure had a full plate lately. I admire your stoic nature, but you need to baby yourself like you would any patient. Try to relax while you heal, and the job will wait for you.
CWS4322
Chef Extraordinaire
My best to you, my dear. I know life has been hard, love you always and I was so glad to find those purple shoes you sent me when I was in Ontario!
Thanks, KL. Been relaxing too much, time to get off my duff and start moving. I did let Mom push my Wally World cart! Mom and Dad have been a big help.
Love you, too. Purple makes everything better.
Thanks for the update PF. I'm glad to read that you are healing.
Just Cooking
Master Chef
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