# Feline afficianados?



## smoke king (Jan 2, 2009)

Once again, I am turning to the smartest people I know!!

My DW got a cat for her birthday. A cute little kitten, she named Bella. Trouble is, its been 3 weeks, and Bella hasn't acclimated herself to us or our home. She spends all day hiding (we are absolutely unable to locate her) and prowls when we're asleep.

On the days when we do catch her, she'll sit with us, let us rub her belly-in  short, she seems very comfortable. But the minute we put her down, shes off into her hiding place(s) and we won't see her again until she decides to come out!!

Although I love all animals, I am more a dog person. Any suggestions? She is about 3 months old, and came from a farm, if that makes any difference. I've had to cancel 2 vet appointments because I could'nt locate her, and I am out of ideas!!


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## elaine l (Jan 2, 2009)

She is adjusting to her new home.  Patience is all I can say.


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## pdswife (Jan 2, 2009)

Time and love... 

Next time she has a dr appointment lock her in the bathroom or some place where you'll be able to find her in the morning.  Give her food and a soft bed she'll be fine there over night. Close the lid on the toilet though..


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## Katie H (Jan 2, 2009)

Give her time.  We adopted a cat from a shelter many, many years ago.  We brought Topaz home on July 5th.  She almost instantly decided to hide upstairs under our daughter's bed.  Wouldn't come out no matter what we did to try to coax her.  Frustrated, we put a mat with food and water under Nicole's bed and a litter box nearby.  Months passed.  Really.

Then, for no apparent reason, Topaz came downstairs, as if nothing had been unusual, during the Christmas holidays...5 months later.  And, as if that wasn't puzzling enough, she joined the family at the time when my brother, his wife and 3 young sons were visiting us.  Our house was filled with 4 adults and 8 children, one of whom received a toy drum set from Santa.

Cats are unusual creatures.  Just love her and give her time.


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## LadyCook61 (Jan 2, 2009)

She will adjust .  Maybe you can play with her with some toy .  I find that helps with  bonding.


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## PieSusan (Jan 2, 2009)

Treats....offer treats. Those should smoke her out.

Also, you need to play with her more. Let her get use to being held, scritchied etc.

I have had 4 cats and they all have responded to gentle, sweet, caring behavior and silliness.


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## QSis (Jan 2, 2009)

Will she respond to toys, e.g. catnip mouse, a piece of yarn pulled along the floor, a laser pointer?

Lee


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## Toots (Jan 2, 2009)

Since she came from a farm, she probably needs alot of extra time to adjust to being an inside kitty.  Just give her time, she'll come out and warm up to you on her own schedule.  Kittens and young cats LOVE to run around at night, we called it the midnight crazies.  She'll slowly warm up to you and your wife and eventually she'll be snuggling up with you as much as possible.
Congrats on the new addition!


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## GB (Jan 2, 2009)

Your cat seems perfectly normal to me. Cats are nocturnal. They spend an average of 16 hours each day sleeping. Some cats are hiders. They will hide for just about any reason. Over time your cat may change after getting more used to you, but this may just be the way it is too. She may just always hide during the day and come out at night.


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## Katie H (Jan 2, 2009)

Toots said:


> Kittens and young cats LOVE to run around at night, we called it the midnight crazies.



Our Sally (AKA Silly Sally Calli Gal) still has the midnight crazies and she was 1-year-old in June.  She's a real ball of fire.  Buck also called her "The Rocket" because, when she's awake, she does everything at 500 mph.


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## GB (Jan 2, 2009)

We used to call it the midnight crazies too


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## Fisher's Mom (Jan 2, 2009)

Like everyone else here said, don't give up yet. Cats are odd and do things their own way. I have a cat that was about a year old when I got him. He had been a semi-feral cat when my daughter rescued him so I _expected_ him to be a _little_ spooky. Well, he hid in the fireplace flue for almost a month, only venturing out at night.

I had finally decided that I was going to give him back to my daughter because I felt so sorry for him being that terrified! But when I tried to get him out of the fireplace, he darted upstairs and hid under my bed. So I put a catbox and food and water in there and kept him shut up in there. I made it a point to pet him and talk to him many times throughout the day. And I also bribed him with stinky tuna. (Cats definitely respond to bribery of the food variety.)

Anyway, I've had him for over 3 years and he has just begun to come downstairs during the day when there are lots of people down there. 3 years! So give it time, keep him in a small space if possible for a while until he begins to feel secure in there, and bribe him with smelly foods.

Good luck and post a pic, if you can ever catch him long enough!


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## Callisto in NC (Jan 2, 2009)

Do you have any other cats?  Did she have friends where she was??  Cats/kittens are happier when they have friends.  

My cat had four kittens and the person that answered my ad made me feel so much better when he wanted two because he knew kittens were better in pairs.  Yours could be looking for a friend especially if she had friends where she was.  I can send you a kitten if you want.  He's not pretty, but he's got a great personality (see my gallery) ~ kidding because that would be mean to mail a cat somewhere.  But the truth is, cats and kittens need friends.


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## GB (Jan 2, 2009)

Callisto in NC said:


> But the truth is, cats and kittens need friends.


I do not agree with this. Sure some want and need friends, but others want and need to be away from all other animals. Just like people, each cat and their needs are different.


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## Callisto in NC (Jan 2, 2009)

GB said:


> I do not agree with this. Sure some want and need friends, but others want and need to be away from all other animals. Just like people, each cat and their needs are different.


Interesting.  Even my vet here and in Cali and the one my DD interned for said cats are pack animals ~ look at big cat behaviour in the wild.  Tigers and lions live in prides where only the ostracized live alone.  It's their nature to live in groups.  A lion on his own in the wild usually dies.  House cats are just small lions and tigers.  They need a friend to play with, fight with, and learn natural cat behaviours with.


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## larry_stewart (Jan 2, 2009)

I was going to ask if any other pets in the house ?  or little kids??  WE have 5 cats at the moment.  4 are great, the 5th ( shirley) doesnt want to have anything to do with us.  She is a bit skittish, cautious, hesitant,  does things %100 on her own terms.  Her littermate " lenore" is the opposite, so who knows.  Finally, shirley is becoming more social ( after a year). She is more social in one of our rooms than any other.  And then there was Phrank,  it took him about 5 years to become social.  The second half of his life he was great.  Anytime we went into the theater, he would join us for a movie.  I miss watching movies without him ( phrank passed away last summer)


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## GB (Jan 2, 2009)

Callisto in NC said:


> Interesting.  Even my vet here and in Cali and the one my DD interned for said cats are pack animals ~ look at big cat behaviour in the wild.  Tigers and lions live in prides where only the ostracized live alone.  It's their nature to live in groups.  A lion on his own in the wild usually dies.  House cats are just small lions and tigers.  They need a friend to play with, fight with, and learn natural cat behaviours with.


Cats are not just small lions and tigers. They are domesticated animals that are much different from wild animals. Many cats live alone. They do not need a friend live and play with, fight with, or learn natural cat behavior with. Most of what they need to know is instinctual. Just ask any of the millions of people who one only one cat who is happy and well adjusted.


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## Callisto in NC (Jan 2, 2009)

GB said:


> Cats are not just small lions and tigers. They are domesticated animals that are much different from wild animals. Many cats live alone. They do not need a friend live and play with, fight with, or learn natural cat behavior with. Most of what they need to know is instinctual. Just ask any of the millions of people who one only one cat who is happy and well adjusted.


If you say so.  

Felines are felines.  Instinct is instinct.  And, according to all my sources, socialization is key to a truly happy cat.  Why you feel the need to argue that, with someone with 5 cats and extensive dealings with rescue tigers, baffles me.  Felines, large and small, have certain instinctive behaviours, pack / pride behaviour IS one of those behaviour traits.   Are you against people having more than one animal at a time?


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## jpmcgrew (Jan 2, 2009)

What I do when I get a wild cat is to just lay on the floor where the cat is hiding but pretty much ignore it but with hand extended and some tuna eventually the cat will come out but you need to let it do it on it's own terms if it's a tom the minute he lets you pet him he will be putty in your hands. I truly believe when you lay on the floor you are less threatening and they will slowly learn to trust you it may take several times a day but it can work


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## GB (Jan 2, 2009)

Callisto in NC said:


> And, according to all my sources, socialization is key to a truly happy cat.


There are many other factors to having a _truly happy cat_. Just ask any of the millions of people who have a happy single cat.  





Callisto in NC said:


> Why you feel the need to argue that, with someone with 5 cats and extensive dealings with rescue tigers, baffles me.


When you post blanket statements that are not true then I will point it out. You may have 5 cats, but I have had one cat. I have had multiple single cats as well as cats in pairs and more. Your statements have been completely untrue from my first hand experience and since the OP is looking for advice then I do feel it is necessary that he get accurate info from all sides. Just because your personal experience has been that your cats like to have a friend does not mean that is true for every cat out that. I am telling you from first hand experience it is not true. Why you feel the need to argue that is beyond me.  





Callisto in NC said:


> Are you against people having more than one animal at a time?


I never said that nor did I imply it or even come close to suggesting it. I, myself, have had multiple animals at the same time. I have no issue with it at all. I am an animal lover, always have been and always will be. I was simply saying that you made a blanket statement and it does not hold true for every cat. You can argue your point all you want, but I have first hand experience that says you are incorrect and so do millions of other people.


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## Callisto in NC (Jan 2, 2009)

Blanket statements that aren't true?  Wow ~ when did I do that?  False accusations aren't cool.  

I'm totally curious where I pizzed in your Wheaties that you would feel the need to attack me for no reason.


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## GB (Jan 2, 2009)

Callisto in NC said:


> Blanket statements that aren't true?  Wow ~ when did I do that?  False accusations aren't cool.





Callisto in NC said:


> Cats/kittens are happier when they have friends.





Callisto in NC said:


> But the truth is, cats and kittens need friends.



Yep looks like a blanket statement to me. And yep I can say that it is not always true as I have already pointed out a number of times above.

This has gone on long enough Callisto. I will not let this thread get derailed. Smoke King came here looking for good advice. If you would like to discuss this further feel free to PM me otherwise this needs to get back to his question and nothing else.


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## middie (Jan 3, 2009)

Smoke King just give them cat time. It'll eventually become comfortable enough to venture out.


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## snack_pack85 (Jan 3, 2009)

Callisto in NC said:


> Do you have any other cats? Did she have friends where she was?? Cats/kittens are happier when they have friends.
> 
> My cat had four kittens and the person that answered my ad made me feel so much better when he wanted two because he knew kittens were better in pairs. Yours could be looking for a friend especially if she had friends where she was. I can send you a kitten if you want. He's not pretty, but he's got a great personality (see my gallery) ~ kidding because that would be mean to mail a cat somewhere. But the truth is, cats and kittens need friends.


 
I really have to agree with GB on this one. My cat Scrump is absolutely miserable around other cats. He likes to rule the house and his territory and just does not thrive with other cats around. I also have a couple of close friends (two different friends) who have adopted ferrel cats from a pack, they both love being the only ones in the home and also don't get along with other cats. Every cat is going to be different and have a different personality.

As for getting the OP's cat to be more social, the dh and I sprayed various areas of the house with cat nip spray. The floors in the living room, our bed spread, (the dog) any where we'd like to see the cat hang out. We also have been slipping him capfulls of this stuff called Good Cat that we found at petco and we have seen a marked difference in his behavior and affection levels. 

Good luck and like everyone else has said, don't give up.


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## miniman (Jan 3, 2009)

Callisto in NC said:


> Interesting. Even my vet here and in Cali and the one my DD interned for said cats are pack animals ~ look at big cat behaviour in the wild. Tigers and lions live in prides where only the ostracized live alone. It's their nature to live in groups. A lion on his own in the wild usually dies. House cats are just small lions and tigers. They need a friend to play with, fight with, and learn natural cat behaviours with.


 
Actually, lions are the only wild cats to live in big groups, tigers & leopards tend to be solitary, and most of the smaller wild cats are also solitary, apart from when they are mating. Even where feral cats live in colonies, they tend to have their own territories within that colony.


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## lindatooo (Jan 3, 2009)

Our non-feral Maine Coon was totally unsociable for 5 years.  When I quit working outside the home and started working with her...bribing her with cream (1/2 & 1/2) and getting her to tolerate being stroked before she got her treat she completely turned around - she is now very nearly a "velcro cat" and is on DH's lap as I type this.  She still sprints upstairs when the door bell rings and only chooses to be around certain people.  One friend of mine only has to say her name before she's in her lap loving her up like mad!  She demands to be groomed at least once a day - more if she claims not to have been groomed yet and has developed a voice.  She sleeps curled in the crook of DH's knees and comes to bed with us every night.  Cats are individuals - the advice of patience is the best.


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## simplicity (Jan 3, 2009)

My cat hates the vet's office.  She recognizes the carrier when I bring it inside the house and will not allow me to catch her.  The rest of the time she's calm and affectionate.  When I take her to the vet, I call ahead of time, then stop at their office  and pick up some tranquilizers that I add to her food.


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## QSis (Jan 3, 2009)

simplicity, I take the carrier out of the closet and stand it open-side up in the living room, several days before my cat's appointment.  So he gets used to it.

When it's time to go, I scoop him up (poor, trusting, unsuspecting baby) and lower his back legs in first then let him go.   

(I feel guilty about betraying his trust, but I tell him it's for his own good.)

Lee


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## GB (Jan 3, 2009)

The last time my wife put the cat carrier out ahead of time we came home from work and the cat was missing. We never saw him again.


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## LadyCook61 (Jan 3, 2009)

GB said:


> The last time my wife put the cat carrier out ahead of time we came home from work and the cat was missing. We never saw him again.


 aww GB, sorry that you lost your cat.


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## AllenOK (Jan 3, 2009)

I guess we got lucky.  A little over a month ago, we had a stray cat walk up to our house, and plant herself in our garage (the door was open).  She immediately started hunting and killing mice.  Apparently she was pretty hungry.  And, she loved attention.  I'm not totally sure where she was before she came to us.  I'm sure she lived outside for awhile, as she was rather skinny and had a really THICK fur coat to keep her warm.  Since she's a very quick and efficient mouser, we let her stay.  Now, PeppA is thinking we are going to be blessed with some kittens in about a month.  Joy.  More critters.


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## simplicity (Jan 3, 2009)

QSis said:


> simplicity, I take the carrier out of the closet and stand it open-side up in the living room, several days before my cat's appointment. So he gets used to it.
> 
> 
> 
> Lee


 
I can understand why this may help getting her there and will try it Thanks. Once we get to the vet's office she turns into psycho-kitty. She will hiss, spit, bite and claw anyone or anything in sight. They keep her swaddled in a towel to control her, even with the tranquilizers. The vet's explanation is, "Well, some cats are like that." Having said this, she remains a sweetheart at home.


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## Toots (Jan 3, 2009)

I  have to sneak the cat carrier out on my cat too.  If Walter sees the carrier, he goes under the bed so fast.  I put him in the bathroom and put some food down.  then I get the carrier, turn it on its side (longways) grab him and put him in it before he even knows what hit him.  He does a very pathetic yowling/outraged meow until we get to the vet's office.
I keep the carrier in the basement and I never let him see it.  He hisses at it if he sees it.


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## LadyCook61 (Jan 3, 2009)

For skittish cats ,  you can try Bach's Rescue Remedy for pets , it is non alcoholic natural liquid.  It is used to calm down pets.  You can either put some in their drinking water, or put  behind their ears.  It might help calm down a cat who has to go in the carrier.


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## kitchenelf (Jan 3, 2009)

smoke king...your cat just may take awhile to warm up to people.  There's nothing wrong with that.  Quietly sit on the floor and see if the cat comes around you at all.  Nothing is required from you, not even trying to pet the cat.  Just be there.  Treats are a good idea as you are sitting there too.

My theory on taking a cat to the vet?  Just put it in the carrier, go, come back home, let the cat out...the end.


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## JoeV (Jan 3, 2009)

We have had two Labrador Retrievers and three cats over the years, and I found tthe cats to be much like unruly teenagers. They warm up to you when they feel like it, and pretty much ignore you the rest of the time. They were all DW's cats and she had no problem dealing with this arrogant behavior, much like our #2 child's behavior (daughter is now 27 and on her own, and is still like the cats were). IMO cats are for people who don't mind being loved by creatures on the creature's schedule. For my nickel I'll take a well-trained dog any day of the week. They love you unconditionally and  are always there  to be a good companion 24/7, if that's what you're looking for. Plus, once trained, they don't  climb all over the counters, shed 11 months out of the year so it's everywhere in the house and on every surface (real nice when company sits in a chair wearing dark pants), or leave bombs of hair from their stomach right where you walk in the middle of the night. 

Aside from those small things, a cat can be a great pet... if it decides to like you.


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## babetoo (Jan 3, 2009)

GB said:


> I do not agree with this. Sure some want and need friends, but others want and need to be away from all other animals. Just like people, each cat and their needs are different.


 

i agree gb. thomas doesn't want friends. he thinks i am his buddy and that is fine with me. when u have more than one sometimes they bond and leave the human out  of the equation. stingy me. lol


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## PanchoHambre (Jan 4, 2009)

I had a friend who rescued a stray cat but could not keep it. She shipped it across the country to her parents. This cat hid in the apt for months. They never saw it it came out to eat and do its buniness when they left... one day it emerged... happily and has been "thier" cat ever since. Cats are strage and take thier own time about things.

I have always been a "dog person" too. My cat was a kitten who followed my brother home. My brother moved on but the cat stayed.  I never wanted a cat I just ended up with one but sometimes I think she is my best pet. My dogs are BAD! The cat is always a bit of a mystery but really sweet. Your cat will find its place in your home give it time and also dont expect it to be what it is not.


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## Bilby (Jan 4, 2009)

I have ended up with a dozen cats in my house, including four kittens of about three months. Things are ... interesting at the moment. Time and love are the only remedies.

One of my cats was with me for two years but would bolt at the first loud noise and may or may not come home. Once it went missing for eight weeks and then just showed up late one night at my door crying and carrying on like I had abonded it somewhere! On one of these bolting occasions, I saw where he went and was able coax him down from the tree before he jumped the fence and since then, he has been with me - almost constantly. He gets very upset if I don't spend sufficient time with him (by his definition) and will spray to get my attention!! GRRR!!!

Every cat/kitten is different and all will respond to different things. These four kittens I have now, all raised the same way and yet one is really shy and one is really gregarious, with the other two in between. How I treat Kenyan is vastly different now to how I treat Rosie cos they will interpret my actions/reactions differently.

If there are other animal smells in the house, try and give the kitten somewhere where it will feel secure - it's own little space. It may also be missing its mother if it has only just been removed. Mine are still feeding believe it or not!

Good luck.


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## smoke king (Jan 6, 2009)

Wow-I was out of pocket for a few days....

"Bella" seems to be warming to us, slowly but surely. She still seems to prefer the middle of the night, but she ventures out a little earlier now. We do have another cat, 11 years, and he wants nothing to do with the new kitten-at this point anyway.

I really appreciate everyones input on this, and I don't think there are really any "wrong" answers. Just like us, they have their little quirks too.

Patience seems to be the answer, and fortunately, I have lots of that. Thanks again everyone.


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## babetoo (Jan 21, 2011)

well, since i posted in this thread, i acquired another cat. thomas doesn't seem to mind to much. charlie the new kid in town is only eight months old and very playful. he is a cuddlier and lover of the first magnitude. thomas remains shy , and only likes me. he plays , sorta with charlie, but he is not very patient. they both race through the house chasing each other. charlie does not know a stranger and thomas still hides from them. all cats are different, just like human beings are.


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