# Language Gymnastics



## Andy M. (Nov 8, 2005)

FOR THOSE WHO ENJOY LANGUAGE ( or Severe Distortions, thereof )

1. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

2. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before

3. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

4. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

5. Those who jump off a bridge in Paris must be in Seine

6. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

7. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

8. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

10. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

11. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

12. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

13. Definition of a will: A dead give away.

14. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

15. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

16. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

17. If you don't pay your exorcist, you'll get repossessed.

18. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

19. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

20. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

21. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

22. Every calendar's days are numbered.

23. A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.

24. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

25. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

26. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

27. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

28. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

29. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

30. Acupuncture is a jab well done.


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## Barbara L (Nov 8, 2005)

I love these!  #14 has always been my favorite.

 Barbara


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## mrsmac (Nov 8, 2005)

These are great, I'm cutting and pasting so i can take them to school tomorrow.


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## pdswife (Nov 9, 2005)

Very good!
Thanks for posting this.


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## Maidrite (Nov 9, 2005)

Andy I always knew you had it in you, Just Kidding I enjoyed all of these, Thank You ! 





Have a Piece of Pizza Your Hired !


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## middie (Nov 9, 2005)

love #2 and 4 lol


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## cara (Nov 10, 2005)

hey, that's great!


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## buckytom (Nov 10, 2005)

rofl, these are great, thanks andy.


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## mudbug (Nov 12, 2005)

love 'em.   
here's one I like, not exactly the same thing, but oh well....

...and lead us not into Penn Station.


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## buckytom (Nov 14, 2005)

lol 'bug. i will be thinking of that the next time i'm on 34th street.

and don't forget. from america the beautiful, "god shares his grapes with thee".


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## cartwheelmac (Nov 14, 2005)

I saw the title gymnastics and knew I had to click on it and I did and got a hoot out of it!

Cameron


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