# Dinners In The Boxes; A Question?



## CatPat (Sep 1, 2013)

A classmate brought in one of the Homestyle Bake dinners in the boxes last week. She brought the samples for some of us to try and I was one of the unfortunates.

It was terrible! It was named something like the Pizza Pasta. This thing was a somewhat cross between pizza and lasagne. But it bothered me when the others told her they like it! What? I ate what was fortunately a small portion and when she asked me if I liked it, I knew I must be nice.

So, I said it was the very interesting dish. They seem to believe I liked it, so I let it go that way for the present.

What do I say if I do not like something? I do not desire to hurt the feelings of the friends. My DA told me to tell a lie and pretend to enjoy it because she worked hard to prepare the food and in our country it is considered to be rude to chastise the cook for the meal.

I believe it to be the polite thing to do, but perhaps the cook is just learning? They do not learn when given the lies. I thought, in this instance, I could relay the idea that the overall portion was not undercooked or overcooked, and suggest some of the herbs and spices to try in the next time to bring out the flavors of the ingredients. Is that rude to one who is the novice? I would be very kind and polite to her.

What should I do?
~Cat


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## salt and pepper (Sep 1, 2013)

Never hurts to tell the truth. Not everyone likes the same food. Its OK to step out of the "box".


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## Mad Cook (Sep 1, 2013)

CatPat said:


> A classmate brought in one of the Homestyle Bake dinners in the boxes last week. She brought the samples for some of us to try and I was one of the unfortunates.
> 
> It was terrible! It was named something like the Pizza Pasta. This thing was a somewhat cross between pizza and lasagne. But it bothered me when the others told her they like it! What? I ate what was fortunately a small portion and when she asked me if I liked it, I knew I must be nice.
> 
> ...


I think the "interesting" approach is the way to go. unless she's about to cook your lunch and is asking what you like to eat. Isn't there a Chinese or Italian or something curse "May you live in interesting times"?


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## CatPat (Sep 1, 2013)

Yes, Mad Cook, it is Chinese. If she were to cook the lunch I believe I would give her the very simple recipe which I like and offer to help her with the preparation. To die of the food poisoning in my new country is not one of the goals I have set.

saltandpepper, I can do that without the hurt? If I am properly nice, would she not become hurt?

~Cat


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## salt and pepper (Sep 1, 2013)

CatPat said:


> Yes, Mad Cook, it is Chinese. If she were to cook the lunch I believe I would give her the very simple recipe which I like and offer to help her with the preparation. To die of the food poisoning in my new country is not one of the goals I have set.
> 
> saltandpepper, I can do that without the hurt? If I am properly nice, would she not become hurt?
> 
> ~Cat


 
     Your too nice. Did you not say it was "terrible"?


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## bakechef (Sep 1, 2013)

I find it best to find the most flattering thing that you can say about the dish.  I have a friend that cooks out of cans and boxes almost exclusively, Sandra Lee style.  This isn't my style and I don't care for the flavor of many prepared foods, but there isn't really anything gained by being rude, but sometimes feelings can be hurt by being honest.

She often emails the "recipes" to me, we both enjoy preparing food although in very different ways, so I just say a simple "thank you" for the recipes.


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## CatPat (Sep 1, 2013)

I did, saltandpepper. The idea of the dish was good. Its execution resulted in nearly none of the flavors being brought out with the tomato sauce being dominant over all the else. I was in the front of her friends also and I did not want to embarrass her. 

Is it possible to tell her the dish needs much help nicely? Perhaps I could call her and tell her these things privately when no one can hear? She is new to cooking and she is proud.

~Cat


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## Mad Cook (Sep 1, 2013)

CatPat said:


> Yes, Mad Cook, it is Chinese. If she were to cook the lunch I believe I would give her the very simple recipe which I like and offer to help her with the preparation. To die of the food poisoning in my new country is not one of the goals I have set.
> 
> saltandpepper, I can do that without the hurt? If I am properly nice, would she not become hurt?
> 
> ~Cat


I think it depends on how well you know her. I have friends who would appreciate it if I said "It's absolutely disgusting" and would probably laugh but I have other friends who would be really upset. 

Probably if I was new to the country and was a little bit unsure, I would probably be as non-committal as possible.

In all cultures food is very important and the offering of food has underlying currents. In some countries to refuse an offer of food is to mortally insult the person offering it, in others it's considered bad manners to comment either positively or negatively on what you are eating.... perhaps you could claim that's part of the culture of the country of your birth.

Unless she actually asked how she could improve it I don't think I would start in on the cookery lesson. I wouldn't mind if you did it to me but with a beginner it might be better left unsaid.

There again, I'm English and sometimes there are differences in cultural nuances even between Americans and us so I might not be the best person to advise on good manners on your side of the pond.


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## taxlady (Sep 1, 2013)

I wouldn't volunteer the information that I thought it was terrible, but would tell the truth if asked. You can always say something like it isn't your taste in food.

A friend once fed me when I was having food cravings while I was pregnant. The tuna salad sandwich wasn't awful, but it wasn't very good. I could tell right off the bat that she hadn't used real mayonnaise, but had used Miracle Whip. I told her it was good. I got 10 minutes of how "Ha ha, and you think you don't like Miracle Whip. Tuna salad is so much better with Miracle Whip than with mayo. etc., etc., blah blah blah..." I couldn't even contradict her because that would be admitting that I had lied. I learned my lesson. I should have just said thank you.


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## Dawgluver (Sep 1, 2013)

That's a tough one.  I think I might say,"Now that's interesting.  Next time, if it were me, I might cook the beans longer/add more cheese/ shred the meat/add more pepper/ etc."

I think it's a disservice to the original cook to tell them that you like their dish, when you don't.


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## CatPat (Sep 1, 2013)

bakechef said:


> I find it best to find the most flattering thing that you can say about the dish.  I have a friend that cooks out of cans and boxes almost exclusively, Sandra Lee style.  This isn't my style and I don't care for the flavor of many prepared foods, but there isn't really anything gained by being rude, but sometimes feelings can be hurt by being honest.
> 
> She often emails the "recipes" to me, we both enjoy preparing food although in very different ways, so I just say a simple "thank you" for the recipes.



That is the nice approach to the issue of the interesting meals' recipes. Who is Sandra Lee?

~Cat


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## Dawgluver (Sep 1, 2013)

CatPat said:


> That is the nice approach to the issue of the interesting meals' recipes. Who is Sandra Lee?
> 
> ~Cat



She hosts a food show called "Semi Home Made".  She uses box mixes and frozen stuff to augment her recipes, and she loves to do tablescapes and decorations in different themes and colors.  http://www.semihomemade.com/


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## CatPat (Sep 1, 2013)

Mad Cook said:


> I think it depends on how well you know her. I have friends who would appreciate it if I said "It's absolutely disgusting" and would probably laugh but I have other friends who would be really upset.
> 
> Probably if I was new to the country and was a little bit unsure, I would probably be as non-committal as possible.
> 
> ...



You are correct where you say in all cultures food is very important and the offering of food has underlying currents. I could be in the truth to say I am of my culture. 

That is the good point: If she does ask. Then perhaps I could be nice and polite and give her the praise for to try this and to share the dish. Then I could give her the little advice but end the conversation with the positive of her efforts to be cooking.

Thank you.

~Cat


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## Andy M. (Sep 1, 2013)

taxlady said:


> ... I got 10 minutes of how "Ha ha, and you think you don't like Miracle Whip. Tuna salad is so much better with Miracle Whip than with mayo. etc., etc., blah blah blah..."...



She set out to trick you.  All bets are off.  I would have said I knew right away that she had subbed MW even though she knew you didn't like it and that you decided not to make an issue of it.


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## bakechef (Sep 1, 2013)

taxlady said:


> I wouldn't volunteer the information that I thought it was terrible, but would tell the truth if asked. You can always say something like it isn't your taste in food.
> 
> A friend once fed me when I was having food cravings while I was pregnant. The tuna salad sandwich wasn't awful, but it wasn't very good. I could tell right off the bat that she hadn't used real mayonnaise, but had used Miracle Whip. I told her it was good. I got 10 minutes of how "Ha ha, and you think you don't like Miracle Whip. Tuna salad is so much better with Miracle Whip than with mayo. etc., etc., blah blah blah..." I couldn't even contradict her because that would be admitting that I had lied. I learned my lesson. I should have just said thank you.



When I lived in rural NC for a short time it was common to go into a restaurant or sandwich shop and what was advertised as mayo was often Miracle Whip. This kind of ticked me off, because it would essentially ruin the sandwich for me, at least be honest and I can choose to omit it.


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## CatPat (Sep 1, 2013)

taxlady said:


> I wouldn't volunteer the information that I thought it was terrible, but would tell the truth if asked. You can always say something like it isn't your taste in food.
> 
> A friend once fed me when I was having food cravings while I was pregnant. The tuna salad sandwich wasn't awful, but it wasn't very good. I could tell right off the bat that she hadn't used real mayonnaise, but had used Miracle Whip. I told her it was good. I got 10 minutes of how "Ha ha, and you think you don't like Miracle Whip. Tuna salad is so much better with Miracle Whip than with mayo. etc., etc., blah blah blah..." I couldn't even contradict her because that would be admitting that I had lied. I learned my lesson. I should have just said thank you.



Oh I see. Now you have given me the other perception. If a lie is being told, it can not be taken back.

I prefer the real mayonnaise as well. I'm sorry you got the "blah blah blah..." about the Miracle Whip. A thought came to me right now. You were pregnant during this issue? My mother told me that I had given her the gas when she carried me. One minute into the lecture of the Miracle Whip (which is no miracle) you could have said, "Oh excuse me. I am gassy and must use the restroom." Then you stay in the restroom for several minutes. When you come out, you would change the subject. 

Thank you for this. I need to be cautious about the lies.

~Cat


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## CatPat (Sep 1, 2013)

Dawgluver said:


> She hosts a food show called "Semi Home Made".  She uses box mixes and frozen stuff to augment her recipes, and she loves to do tablescapes and decorations in different themes and colors.  Sandra Lee Sandra Lee semi-homemade Keep It Simple,Keep It Smart,Keep It Semi-Homemade



I see. I will look at the link. Thank you!

~Cat


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## CatPat (Sep 1, 2013)

bakechef said:


> When I lived in rural NC for a short time it was common to go into a restaurant or sandwich shop and what was advertised as mayo was often Miracle Whip. This kind of ticked me off, because it would essentially ruin the sandwich for me, at least be honest and I can choose to omit it.



Yes it is common for to use the Miracle Whip. It is not a very good taste.

~Cat


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## taxlady (Sep 1, 2013)

bakechef said:


> When I lived in rural NC for a short time it was common to go into a restaurant or sandwich shop and what was advertised as mayo was often Miracle Whip. This kind of ticked me off, because it would essentially ruin the sandwich for me, at least be honest and I can choose to omit it.


If there is "mayo" in some food, say a BLT, in a resto, I always ask if it's mayo or MW, or other "salad dressing". Then, if what I get isn't mayo, I send it back.


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## joesfolk (Sep 1, 2013)

You do not need to lie.  I might say something like "I really prefer that dish you made last week."  Or you could just redirect the conversation. "Where did you say you bought that product?"


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## CatPat (Sep 1, 2013)

Thank you, taxlady and joesfolk. I never ask, taxlady. I am an immigrant and a new citizen to this beautiful country and I do not wish to seem as the ungrateful immigrant. If I am given instead of the milk and I get the orange juice, I say nothing and give the thanks for what I am given to God before the meal. But it is good to get what one wants as in the matter of the mayonnaise. You should get what you desire in all things as I hope you do. It is just not proper for me to do so. 
And joesfolk, thank you for the suggestions. Those are the very good ideas.
Thank you both.

~Cat


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## taxlady (Sep 1, 2013)

If you are in a restaurant, you are paying for the food. If you ask for milk and they bring you orange juice, just politely say that you asked for milk. You shouldn't have to accept anything other than what you asked for in a resto. If they are out of milk and ask you if orange juice would be okay, that's different. You can say yes or no. The only thing I can think of that would be "wrong" to do in a case like that, would be to be so insist or start screaming that you want milk. I have seen people do that and everyone looks at them as though they are ridiculous and childish.


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## CatPat (Sep 2, 2013)

taxlady said:


> If you are in a restaurant, you are paying for the food. If you ask for milk and they bring you orange juice, just politely say that you asked for milk. You shouldn't have to accept anything other than what you asked for in a resto. If they are out of milk and ask you if orange juice would be okay, that's different. You can say yes or no. The only thing I can think of that would be "wrong" to do in a case like that, would be to be so insist or start screaming that you want milk. I have seen people do that and everyone looks at them as though they are ridiculous and childish.



I have seen the ones who do become angry as well. You have brought up the good point, and perhaps you are right. I will consider your advice very closely should it occur again.
Thank you, taxlady.

~Cat


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## Cooking Goddess (Sep 2, 2013)

CatPat said:


> A classmate brought in one of the Homestyle Bake dinners in the boxes last week. She brought the samples for some of us to try and I was one of the unfortunates.
> 
> It was terrible!....So, I said it was the very interesting dish. They seem to believe I liked it, so I let it go that way for the present......



"Interesting" is the word profession chefs use when they are not liking what they are tasting.  It's non-committal but doesn't insult.

It sounds like your classmate came right out and told you it was from a box.  Since you like to cook from scratch you could always tell her the taste is different to you since you usually prepare things without the box, using fresh ingredients.  Who knows, she might ask you to give her advise and help.  Or she might keep bringing in box stuff and you need to put on a happy face.  For the sake of your tastebuds I hope she asks for help.


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## CatPat (Sep 2, 2013)

Cooking Goddess said:


> "Interesting" is the word profession chefs use when they are not liking what they are tasting.  It's non-committal but doesn't insult.
> 
> It sounds like your classmate came right out and told you it was from a box.  Since you like to cook from scratch you could always tell her the taste is different to you since you usually prepare things without the box, using fresh ingredients.  Who knows, she might ask you to give her advise and help.  Or she might keep bringing in box stuff and you need to put on a happy face.  For the sake of your tastebuds I hope she asks for help.



Thank you. Perhaps we shall see what occurs until she does ask for the advice. I believe my tastebuds retreated into somewhere into the sinuses when I ate my portion. 

Let us see how this issue unfolds, and I will post any of the future collisions with her cooking.

~Cat


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## Oldvine (Sep 2, 2013)

You gave a good answer.... it was a very interesting dish.  That in no way chastises the cook.   You can't be expected to love every dish created by every cook since they surely would not love every dish you prepared.   If keeping the peace is the supreme outcome, you might find an ingredient in the dish that you are "sensitive" to and can't eat, declining future offers.   Sensitivity can be an allergic reaction or recoiling taste buds.


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## CatPat (Sep 2, 2013)

Oldvine said:


> You gave a good answer.... it was a very interesting dish.  That in no way chastises the cook.   You can't be expected to love every dish created by every cook since they surely would not love every dish you prepared.   If keeping the peace is the supreme outcome, you might find an ingredient in the dish that you are "sensitive" to and can't eat, declining future offers.   Sensitivity can be an allergic reaction or recoiling taste buds.



Thank you, Oldvine. I do not desire to quarrel with anyone. 

~Cat


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## PrincessFiona60 (Sep 2, 2013)

A good excuse to use, especially with boxed dinners, is there is too much salt for your liking.


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## CatPat (Sep 2, 2013)

PrincessFiona60 said:


> A good excuse to use, especially with boxed dinners, is there is too much salt for your liking.



That is the certain truth. It was overcoming with the tomato sauce and the salt. That is a good idea also, PrincessFiona60.
Thank you!

~Cat


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## PrincessFiona60 (Sep 2, 2013)

You are certainly welcome, it's why I don't eat many boxed meals.


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## CatPat (Sep 2, 2013)

PrincessFiona60 said:


> You are certainly welcome, it's why I don't eat many boxed meals.



We do not eat those either. Now I understand why we do not eat those!

~Cat


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## CarolPa (Sep 2, 2013)

I don't cook much for other people, other than holiday dinners for my family, because I'm really not a very good cook.  There are some things I do make that are very good, but I never learned to cook fancy meals.  Since my husband is a picky eater, I tend to just cook what he likes.  He has a good answer to someone who gives you something you don't like.  He told me, if I don't tell you something doesn't taste good, you'll keep making it for me.  So he tells me when he doesn't like something, and I have learned not to get hurt feelings over it.  My extended family always tells me how good my holiday dinners are, mainly because they are thankful that I take on the responsibility of it and they don't have to cook.  LOL  

So, if you don't tell your friend that you didn't like what she brought you, she might start making it for you all the time!!!  Yikes!!


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## CatPat (Sep 2, 2013)

CarolPa said:


> I don't cook much for other people, other than holiday dinners for my family, because I'm really not a very good cook.  There are some things I do make that are very good, but I never learned to cook fancy meals.  Since my husband is a picky eater, I tend to just cook what he likes.  He has a good answer to someone who gives you something you don't like.  He told me, if I don't tell you something doesn't taste good, you'll keep making it for me.  So he tells me when he doesn't like something, and I have learned not to get hurt feelings over it.  My extended family always tells me how good my holiday dinners are, mainly because they are thankful that I take on the responsibility of it and they don't have to cook.  LOL
> 
> So, if you don't tell your friend that you didn't like what she brought you, she might start making it for you all the time!!!  Yikes!!



Oh dear. This could happen. Perhaps if she speaks about her meal I could lend a suggestion of cooking from the fresh ingredients? 

I discovered that she and her family eat most of the meals from boxes. She said she would try to cook the Hamburger Helper the next time. I had the Hamburger Helper once at a classmate's home. It was heavy on my stomach and there was little flavor in it.

~Cat


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## taxlady (Sep 2, 2013)

I tell people that I have to see all the ingredients and most of the boxed stuff has ingredients I won't eat. If it's something I'm not supposed to have e.g., soy, sweet potato, canned tomatoes, I tell them that I'm not supposed to eat that. If it's yucky sounding food additives, I say that I don't eat those. But, I'm known as an opinionated loud mouth and if people can't handle that, too bad.


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## CatPat (Sep 2, 2013)

taxlady said:


> I tell people that I have to see all the ingredients and most of the boxed stuff has ingredients I won't eat. If it's something I'm not supposed to have e.g., soy, sweet potato, canned tomatoes, I tell them that I'm not supposed to eat that. If it's yucky sounding food additives, I say that I don't eat those. But, I'm known as an opinionated loud mouth and if people can't handle that, too bad.



I like the opinionated loud mouth. The founding fathers of America were the opinionated loud mouths. They got the job done to form my new country.

You cannot have sweet potatoes? May I ask why?

~Cat


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## taxlady (Sep 2, 2013)

CatPat said:


> I like the opinionated loud mouth. The founding fathers of America were the opinionated loud mouths. They got the job done to form my new country.
> 
> You cannot have sweet potatoes? May I ask why?
> 
> ~Cat


They are estrogenic. I'm not supposed to have any estrogenic foods. Because of a type of visual migraine that I get I am at elevated risk of having a stroke in my eye, especially if I eat estrogenic foods.


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## CWS4322 (Sep 2, 2013)

I have a number of sensitivities to dyes and chemicals, so I too always have to read the ingredients. Hamburger Helper? Really? I don't think I've eaten that since the '70s when my mother would make it.


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## Cooking Goddess (Sep 3, 2013)

My neighbor used to complain about all of them in the family having some sort of allergy or medical issue...but she still used packaged foods and shortcuts.  I told her if they wanted to eat stuff like Hamburger Helper she could help her family by measuring out the ingredients from her own spice cabinet and well-stocked pantry.  She preferred the convenience.  Whatever.

But you guys are all poor college students, right?  Maybe you could appeal to the cost-effectiveness of making the meal from scratch.  I searched for "homemade hamburger helper" and got a ton of hits.  Skimmed over this one and it looks pretty simple for even a very novice cook.  Hope this idea helps her...and you!   Homemade Hamburger Helper Recipe Skillet Dinner | Divas Can Cook


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## MrsLMB (Sep 3, 2013)

Too salty and generally taste fake to me.  Mainly it's the salt though.  I've purchased some that almost made me gag from all the salt.

Some people do not detect the high amount of salts in those boxed meals.  I have a sister who lives on boxed meals and even adds salt to hers.  When she eats my food she says it taste okay but she prefers her own cooking.

Too each their own !


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## CarolPa (Sep 3, 2013)

CWS4322 said:


> I have a number of sensitivities to dyes and chemicals, so I too always have to read the ingredients. Hamburger Helper? Really? I don't think I've eaten that since the '70s when my mother would make it.




I don't mean to be too nosey, but what are your sensitivities to dyes?  I ask, because my step-son asked us not to give his son anything with dyes.  He has not been diagnosed with anything, but they notice he is more out of control when he eats foods with dyes.  He's 5.  They don't eat much processed foods, but he likes gummy worms and pop tarts and they have quit giving them to him.  I found fruit roll ups and popsicles that do not contain dye.


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## CarolPa (Sep 3, 2013)

Cooking Goddess said:


> My neighbor used to complain about all of them in the family having some sort of allergy or medical issue...but she still used packaged foods and shortcuts.  I told her if they wanted to eat stuff like Hamburger Helper she could help her family by measuring out the ingredients from her own spice cabinet and well-stocked pantry.  She preferred the convenience.  Whatever.
> 
> But you guys are all poor college students, right?  Maybe you could appeal to the cost-effectiveness of making the meal from scratch.  I searched for "homemade hamburger helper" and got a ton of hits.  Skimmed over this one and it looks pretty simple for even a very novice cook.  Hope this idea helps her...and you!   Homemade Hamburger Helper Recipe Skillet Dinner | Divas Can Cook




I have bookmarked that page and will go back and check it out.  I have been trying to figure out how I could make these meals home made.  My husband likes them.  Mostly because when he's hungry he doesn't want to wait for a meal to be cooked.  I got him away from boxed mac and cheese by showing him how quickly I can put together a cheese sauce and cook some macaroni.  For lunch, he eats a lot of those packaged noodles and sauce, etc.  They are quick.  and he adds salt to them, too.  He is one who adds salt to everything before he even tastes it.  We are not poor college students....we are poor retirees.  LOL


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## GotGarlic (Sep 3, 2013)

CarolPa said:


> I have bookmarked that page and will go back and check it out.  I have been trying to figure out how I could make these meals home made.  My husband likes them.  Mostly because when he's hungry he doesn't want to wait for a meal to be cooked.  I got him away from boxed mac and cheese by showing him how quickly I can put together a cheese sauce and cook some macaroni.  For lunch, he eats a lot of those packaged noodles and sauce, etc.  They are quick.  and he adds salt to them, too.  He is one who adds salt to everything before he even tastes it.  We are not poor college students....we are poor retirees.  LOL



The comments crack me up. "My 12-year-old son ate three helpings!" Of macaroni and cheese with beef. Did she not serve some veg to balance the plate? Lol


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## GotGarlic (Sep 3, 2013)

CarolPa said:


> I have bookmarked that page and will go back and check it out.  I have been trying to figure out how I could make these meals home made.  My husband likes them.  Mostly because when he's hungry he doesn't want to wait for a meal to be cooked.  I got him away from boxed mac and cheese by showing him how quickly I can put together a cheese sauce and cook some macaroni.  For lunch, he eats a lot of those packaged noodles and sauce, etc.  They are quick.  and he adds salt to them, too.  He is one who adds salt to everything before he even tastes it.  We are not poor college students....we are poor retirees.  LOL



I make a point of making extra servings of our dinners so DH can grab something out of the fridge and heat it up when he's hungry.


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## CarolPa (Sep 3, 2013)

GotGarlic said:


> I make a point of making extra servings of our dinners so DH can grab something out of the fridge and heat it up when he's hungry.




That would make it a leftover, and DH doesn't eat leftovers.  It can be made from a box, but it has to be made fresh.  Perservative and all.  He does not want any veggies with it, but sometimes I will mix in some frozen mixed veggies.  He thinks they came in the box.  LOL


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## GotGarlic (Sep 3, 2013)

CarolPa said:


> That would make it a leftover, and DH doesn't eat leftovers.  It can be made from a box, but it has to be made fresh.  Perservative and all.  He does not want any veggies with it, but sometimes I will mix in some frozen mixed veggies.  He thinks they came in the box.  LOL



Jeez. He needs some serious retraining.


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## purple.alien.giraffe (Sep 3, 2013)

GotGarlic said:


> The comments crack me up. "My 12-year-old son ate three helpings!" Of macaroni and cheese with beef. Did she not serve some veg to balance the plate? Lol



Having two younger brothers and remembering how they ate (and how much) from pre-teen through teen, I believe it's entirely possible that she made him eat vegetables with his first helping and he still had room for the extra two helpings of the mac and cheese.

As to the question presented by the OP, I think the best answer depends on two factors, your personality and hers. If you know she is open to help with cooking and really trying to get better at it, then I would tell her you weren't real fond of it. But, I would be specific with what you didn't like about it and what might have made it more to your liking so that it sounds less critical and more constructive. I would also encourage her to continue trying, to not give up since practice and experience are the only way to get better. Depending on the person I might even share some of my own experiences in cooking something that wasn't good and what I learned from them. Taking advice from someone is often much easier if you know that person has had failures of their own.

If you are confident in your ability to give advice without insulting, and your skin is thick enough to take a mild backlash if she doesn't like your advice, and if you are easily able to sooth hurt feelings if she is offended, then I would also say go ahead and be honest. But again, be specific and be ready to offer encouragement if she needs it. Also make sure she knows you are grateful for her efforts regardless of the how good her food is.

If you know she is not looking for advice or you are not confident in your ability to give it without sounding too critical, then for now at least I would hold back. Give yourselves time to become more comfortable with each other. Then you'll have a better idea of when you can give advice and when you just need to leave things be.

In any case, if she invites you over for the same meal again, I would be honest about my dislike of the food, but I would center the focus on myself. "I appreciate the offer, but for me the tomato flavor drowned out the rest of the food and I just didn't care for it. But if you are making something else another night, maybe we can eat together then?" Make sure she knows you don't object to her or her cooking in general, just to that particular meal.

I think you definitely were correct not say something that might embarrass her in front of her friends and that your instincts to talk to her about the food privately show a great deal of consideration for her feelings. Based on your responses to other people's advice, I think you're instincts are good and you should go with what you feel is right. 

That's my best advice. I hope your next meal with your roommate is a better one.


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## Cooking Goddess (Sep 3, 2013)

CarolPa said:


> I have bookmarked that page and will go back and check it out.  I have been trying to figure out how I could make these meals home made.  My husband likes them.  Mostly because when he's hungry he doesn't want to wait for a meal to be cooked.  I got him away from boxed mac and cheese by showing him how quickly I can put together a cheese sauce and cook some macaroni.  For lunch, he eats a lot of those packaged noodles and sauce, etc.  They are quick.  and he adds salt to them, too.  He is one who adds salt to everything before he even tastes it.  We are not poor college students....we are poor retirees.  LOL



After I put up my post I spend way too much time travelling all over that Divas Can Cook! website!   Alas, another night of short sleep.  I had found "Divas.." a long time ago but forgot how entertainingly Monique can write.

Oh, and like GG said, your other half needs serious retraining.  Tell him if you cook from scratch you can save a bunch of money (it is true) and you guys could put the savings away in an old canister until you have enough for a little get-away.  He can focus on the fun while you're saving him from himself.


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## Cooking Goddess (Sep 3, 2013)

GotGarlic said:


> The comments crack me up. "My 12-year-old son ate three helpings!" Of macaroni and cheese with beef. Did she not serve some veg to balance the plate? Lol



The kid probably plays sports.  Probably inhaled half the veggies for dinner raw as he walked past his mom on his way to his room  From around 6th grade through high school our son was know as "the stomach with legs".   I learned that if I wanted to make sure the kid didn't disappear into his bedroom with an entire bag of a newly-purchased produce item I would weigh things up in 2 or 3 bags at the store, then hide the extras in the back of the bin.


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## Hoot (Sep 4, 2013)

The only thing my first wife could/would cook was them Hamburger Helper messes that come in a box. Mrs Hoot and I were noticin' that those things were on sale the other day. She said that they might have improved over the years....maybe, but I ain't willin' to find out.... Not even if they were givin' it away.
Just my humble opinion. YMMV


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## CarolPa (Sep 4, 2013)

GotGarlic said:


> Jeez. He needs some serious retraining.




I think he's one of those old dogs than cannot learn new tricks.  LOL

*Cooking Goddess* - The thing with the boxes and pouches he eats is that he makes these himself for his lunch.  So I can continue playing on the computer or reading my book and don't have to stop and fix lunch for him.  If I start cooking it from scratch, I will just be making more work for myself.  I made the home made mac and cheese one day when we ran out of the boxed mix and now it's my permanent job.  LOL  

*Hoot*- Hamburger Helper has not improved.  It still has that pasty consistency and tastes like a lot of preservatives.


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## CWS4322 (Sep 4, 2013)

CarolPa said:


> I think he's one of those old dogs than cannot learn new tricks.  LOL
> 
> *Cooking Goddess* - The thing with the boxes and pouches he eats is that he makes these himself for his lunch.  So I can continue playing on the computer or reading my book and don't have to stop and fix lunch for him.  If I start cooking it from scratch, I will just be making more work for myself.  I made the home made mac and cheese one day when we ran out of the boxed mix and now it's my permanent job.  LOL
> 
> *Hoot*- Hamburger Helper has not improved.  It still has that pasty consistency and tastes like a lot of preservatives.



Here's a link to the nutritional information for Hamburger Helper and similar types of means:

Hamburger Helper Nutrition Facts, Hamburger Helper Calories, Nutritional Information

Note: serving size is 1 cup prepared. So how many servings in the DH eating at lunch?

My counter argument would be that the additives in the boxed foods are not helping maintain a healthy lifestyle.


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## Cooking Goddess (Sep 4, 2013)

CarolPa said:


> *Cooking Goddess* - The thing with the boxes and pouches he eats is that he makes these himself for his lunch.  So I can continue playing on the computer or reading my book and don't have to stop and fix lunch for him.  If I start cooking it from scratch, I will just be making more work for myself.  I made the home made mac and cheese one day when we ran out of the boxed mix and now it's my permanent job.  LOL



Carol, this is when the idea of "planned leftovers" comes into play.   Make a big batch of mac&cheese, divide between two casserole dishes, then bake the bigger one and freeze the smaller.  Voila!  Dinner tonight, dinner for a night you don't want to waste in the kitchen, and enough leftovers for a lunch or two for DH.  Of course when I did that for Himself I had to portion out the lunch part before he dug into that night's supper!   Lots of things freeze well or make....oh wait, you metioned he doesn't eat leftovers, right?   Ack!  Retrain!  RETRAIN!


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## CarolPa (Sep 4, 2013)

CWS4322 said:


> Here's a link to the nutritional information for Hamburger Helper and similar types of means:
> 
> Hamburger Helper Nutrition Facts, Hamburger Helper Calories, Nutritional Information
> 
> ...



He is probably eating up to 2 cups.  He doesn't worry about a healthy life style.  If he doesn't get fat and doesn't get sick, he's OK.  He really eats crap and is never sick.  I eat so much healthier than he does, and I exercise, and I'm fat and have every ailment known to man.  It's just not fair.  I have a friend who eats the same way he does.  Never gains a pound, and is never sick.


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## PrincessFiona60 (Sep 7, 2013)

CWS4322 said:


> Here's a link to the nutritional information for Hamburger Helper and similar types of means:
> 
> Hamburger Helper Nutrition Facts, Hamburger Helper Calories, Nutritional Information
> 
> ...



I told my Mom that I was happy to fix her those boxed mixes and artificial sweeteners, in the long run she was saving me money.  It would not cost me a dime to have her embalmed when she died.  She started paying attention to what she was eating and feeding those around her.


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## CatPat (Sep 7, 2013)

Thank you all! I appreciate all of these posts. 

I am certain I made a mistake. She is not the roommate. She lives with her parents and I live with DA. I apologize for the confusion.

Your friend,
~Cat


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## CarolPa (Sep 7, 2013)

CatPat said:


> Thank you all! I appreciate all of these posts.
> 
> I am certain I made a mistake. She is not the roommate. She lives with her parents and I live with DA. I apologize for the confusion.
> 
> ...




Cat, I checked back to your first post and you only said it was a classmate, not a room mate.  We are the ones who misunderstood.


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## CatPat (Sep 11, 2013)

It does not matter. I enjoyed this posting very much!

Your friend,
~Cat


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## Mad Cook (Sep 11, 2013)

CarolPa said:


> I don't mean to be too nosey, but what are your sensitivities to dyes? I ask, because my step-son asked us not to give his son anything with dyes. He has not been diagnosed with anything, but they notice he is more out of control when he eats foods with dyes. He's 5. They don't eat much processed foods, but he likes gummy worms and pop tarts and they have quit giving them to him. I found fruit roll ups and popsicles that do not contain dye.


 E102 Tartrazine (Yellow#5 in the USA) is banned in the UK and several other European countries for food and drink use as it has been shown to cause hyperactivity in children. It is also known to cause hay fever, vision and breathing problems, anxiety, migraines, depression, sleep disturbances and general weakness. It is also harmful to an unborn baby therefore pregnant women are advised to avoid it. 

Tartrazine is widely used in the USA. It's not only used on its own. It's used in conjunction with other colourings to make orange and green colours for food use. Even so-called "organic" foods may contain it  Despite being a synthetic dye, tartrazine can legally be included in organic foods, because the USDA allows processed foods to be certified organic if they are 95% organic by weight.


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## Mad Cook (Sep 11, 2013)

CarolPa said:


> I have bookmarked that page and will go back and check it out. I have been trying to figure out how I could make these meals home made. My husband likes them. Mostly because when he's hungry he doesn't want to wait for a meal to be cooked. I got him away from boxed mac and cheese by showing him how quickly I can put together a cheese sauce and cook some macaroni. For lunch, he eats a lot of those packaged noodles and sauce, etc. They are quick. and he adds salt to them, too. He is one who adds salt to everything before he even tastes it. We are not poor college students....we are poor retirees. LOL


 
Poor students or poor retirees regardless, homemade is always cheaper and better. You want it quick? Have a day a month batch baking and making pasta dishes, casseroles, pies, etc., and freeze them down in one or two portions so you can just re heat when you want them. That way you know what went into them, you know how hygienic the preparation was and how long the dish has been in storage and you can always feed unexpected visitors or neighbours in an emergency.

And before you say it's easy for me to talk, yes, it is. I'm retired on a fairly limited income and I wouldn't dream of living on expensive "convenience" foods loaded with fat, salt and fillers with little or no nutritional value. Cooking your own has other hidden advantages. Research indicates that keeping the brain active helps to guard against senile dementia so all that meal planning, measuring of ingredients, up-scaling quantities, writing labels, etc., may keep your brain healthy for longer. My grandmother was still cooking a "proper" dinner for herself and one of her grandchildren everyday until 4 weeks before her death at the age of 89 and we're sure that the food itself and the planning and cooking that went into it was one of the things that helped to keep her fit for so long.


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## Mad Cook (Sep 11, 2013)

cooking goddess said:


> carol, this is when the idea of "planned leftovers" comes into play.  Make a big batch of mac&cheese, divide between two casserole dishes, then bake the bigger one and freeze the smaller. Voila! Dinner tonight, dinner for a night you don't want to waste in the kitchen, and enough leftovers for a lunch or two for dh. Of course when i did that for himself i had to portion out the lunch part before he dug into that night's supper!  Lots of things freeze well or make....oh wait, you metioned he doesn't eat leftovers, right?  Ack! Retrain! Retrain!


 here here!!!!


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## Mad Cook (Sep 11, 2013)

CarolPa said:


> That would make it a leftover, and DH doesn't eat leftovers. It can be made from a box, but it has to be made fresh. Perservative and all. He does not want any veggies with it, but sometimes I will mix in some frozen mixed veggies. He thinks they came in the box. LOL


He'll eat rubbish out of a box but won't eat left-overs from last night's delicious dinner? The mind boggles! 

We aren't suggesting that you give him the scrapings of last night's dinner. The knack is to portion out the dish you've made into smaller containers such as individual or two portion-sized bowls or gratin dishes before you dish up the portions from today's dinner so that it doesn't look like left-overs (and, really, it isn't).


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## Mad Cook (Sep 11, 2013)

CarolPa said:


> That would make it a leftover, and DH doesn't eat leftovers. It can be made from a box, but it has to be made fresh. Perservative and all. He does not want any veggies with it, but sometimes I will mix in some frozen mixed veggies. He thinks they came in the box. LOL


(_sigh_!) But it _isn't_ left-overs. It's forward planning.


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## Mad Cook (Sep 11, 2013)

GotGarlic said:


> Jeez. He needs some serious retraining.


If they're of retirement age it's probably too late. She should have started on day one of her marriage. 

I'd be tempted to buy him boxes to heat up himself and to cook beautiful, delicious little dishes for me and sit in front of him savouring every mouthful.


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## taxlady (Sep 11, 2013)

When I took cooking in school, they called them "planned overs".


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## CarolPa (Sep 11, 2013)

Mad Cook said:


> Poor students or poor retirees regardless, homemade is always cheaper and better. You want it quick? Have a day a month batch baking and making pasta dishes, casseroles, pies, etc., and freeze them down in one or two portions so you can just re heat when you want them. That way you know what went into them, you know how hygienic the preparation was and how long the dish has been in storage and you can always feed unexpected visitors or neighbours in an emergency.




I think you missed the part where I said my husband will not eat leftovers or anything that has been frozen.  He is the one causing all these problems.  Me?  I'll eat anything, within reason.


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## CarolPa (Sep 11, 2013)

Mad Cook said:


> If they're of retirement age it's probably too late. She should have started on day one of her marriage.
> 
> I'd be tempted to buy him boxes to heat up himself and to cook beautiful, delicious little dishes for me and sit in front of him savouring every mouthful.




Most of the time he does cook the box mixes himself.  This is his  lunch we are talking about.  I don't eat it.  I cook meals from scratch for dinner. There are only a few that he will eat, but at least it's home made food.  Sometimes I keep the leftovers for my lunch the next day.  If I made something for myself that he did not like he would not care.  He would just say "Ewww gross!"  LOL  I do think that if I made the home made Hamburger Helper he would eat it and enjoy it.  But I won't do that for his lunch.  He can go ahead and eat the boxed stuff.


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