# Situations in Life



## middie (Aug 23, 2005)

Never raise your hands to your wife... it leaves your groin unprotected.

I'm not into working out. My pholosophy: No pain, no pain.

I am in shape. Round's a shape.

I'm trying to figure out why kaikaze pilots wore helmets.

I always wanted to be somebody. I should have been more specific.

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he get mad, but when he's in a car he sticks his head out the window ?

Have you ever noticed anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and anyone driving faster is a maniac ?

You have to stay in shape, My grandmother started walking when she was 60. Today's she's 97 and we have no idea where she is.

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they'd never be caught dead in otherwise.

I have six locks on my dorr all in a row. When I leave I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks they're always locking three.

I ask people why they have deer  heads on their walls. Thay always say because they're such beautiful animals. There you go, I think my mother's beautiful, but I only  have photographs of her.


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## pdswife (Aug 23, 2005)

cut, pasted and passed on to everyone
on my list.  Thanks!!


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## Sandyj (Aug 23, 2005)

Funny. I had a good chuckle. See! Even with all that sewage in your basement, you can still laugh!


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## middie (Aug 23, 2005)

Sandy I think in times like this you have to have some kind of humor or you'd go beserk !!


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## kadesma (Aug 23, 2005)

Keep your chin up kiddo, things will get better. They always do for the big hearted like you.

kadesma


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## tancowgirl2000 (Aug 24, 2005)

That was good!!!  Thanks for sharing!


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## mrsmac (Aug 24, 2005)

Thats great i'm cutting and pasting!
I have one from a notepad on spelling  Why does phonics start with ph?
Why is dyslexia so hard to spell?


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## Sandyj (Aug 24, 2005)

*Ever hear the one about the....*

(for mrsmac)

Dyslexic, insomniac, agnostic?

He would lie awake all night, wondering if there really is a dog.

-sandyj


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## texasgirl (Aug 24, 2005)

they are all funny as heck!!!! Thanks for the laughs!


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## kadesma (Aug 25, 2005)

What a great way to just relax and enjoy 

Thanks everyone
kadesma


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