# What kitchen items are best for self-defense?



## Bacondise City (Oct 6, 2007)

one time someone broke into my apartment while i was frying up some bacon and all i had was a cheesegrater.


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## Barbara L (Oct 6, 2007)

I would have tossed the hot bacon grease at him, then hit him with the pan.

Barbara


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## Bacondise City (Oct 6, 2007)

i didn't want to waste the bacon. mmmmm


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## Foodfiend (Oct 7, 2007)

For me, if it were a choice between the bacon and my life, I would have thrown the bacon at him.  Plus then you'd have something identifiable about him when he went to the emergency room to get treated for grease burns.  There'd be no way in he** that he could deny that he'd been in your place when asked how he got the burns.


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## middie (Oct 7, 2007)

I think a knife would work pretty good. If not there's always a skillet lol


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## Green Lady (Oct 7, 2007)

How about a tenderizing mallet?


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## lindatooo (Oct 7, 2007)

I like the way you think, Green Lady!


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## Katie H (Oct 7, 2007)

Mine is my Smith & Wesson .357 on the pantry shelf and I won't hesitate to use it.


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## keltin (Oct 7, 2007)

My cats! I just tell them that the guy is here to take their tuna treats, and it is on!


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## Uncle Bob (Oct 7, 2007)

A long, sharp filet knife.....Zorro!!


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## Mr._Steak (Oct 7, 2007)

I've seen a few cooks using a blow torch in the kitchen..


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## Katie H (Oct 7, 2007)

Mr._Steak said:


> I've seen a few cooks using a blow torch in the kitchen..



Yep!  Like Julia Child.  Plus, she was a force to reckon with at over 6 feet tall!!   Julia Child and a blow torch.......look out!!!!!


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## Dave Hutchins (Oct 7, 2007)

My fourteen inch steak cutting knife/ Meat cutting/ my cast Iron skillet


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## Fisher's Mom (Oct 7, 2007)

I have an immersion blender that has a wicked sharp blade on the business end. Assuming the attacker was male, I think if I parried low to just the right spot, I could have him on his knees in a heartbeat! I think the injury would also make him very identifiable at the ER.


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## jpmcgrew (Oct 7, 2007)

Katie E said:


> Mine is my Smith & Wesson .357 on the pantry shelf and I won't hesitate to use it.


Mine is a Berretta 92 FS.I also have a sawed off shot gun next to the gun safe.Of course we have no children in our house.Not to mention the 3 dogs that are the best alarms in the world which I why I sleep safe in case a bear tries to get in an open window in the summer.


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## keltin (Oct 7, 2007)

If you guys want to be serious then kitchen sheers. Good grip and great for a double eye punch that renders the enemy worthless. Once the eyes are gone, the enemy is done.


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## Fisher's Mom (Oct 7, 2007)

You're right Keltin, kitchen shears are a formidable weapon and a favorite of mine. However, another thread you just contributed to has gotten me thinking about hot liquids as a weapon. I think that good pouring skills would come in handy when attempting to thwart an oncoming attacker with hot liquids. Also, no tedious ladling required! lol


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## keltin (Oct 7, 2007)

Fisher's Mom said:


> You're right Keltin, kitchen shears are a formidable weapon and a favorite of mine. However, another thread you just contributed to has gotten me thinking about hot liquids as a weapon. I think that good pouring skills would come in handy when attempting to thwart an oncoming attacker with hot liquids. Also, no tedious ladling required! lol


 
I’m with you on that!

But, for a quick dispatch, use an overhand grip on a bird beak paring knife across the eyes. Blind that fool in one slash, then upstroke for a jugular hit. Swish-swish, two moves, and he is done! 

An now we can get back to the music and jam while we wait on  CSI to gather the body!


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## Fisher's Mom (Oct 8, 2007)

keltin said:


> I’m with you on that!
> 
> But, for a quick dispatch, use an overhand grip on a bird beak paring knife across the eyes. Blind that fool in one slash, then upstroke for a jugular hit. Swish-swish, two moves, and he is done!
> 
> An now we can get back to the music and jam while we wait on  CSI to gather the body!


True, Keltin, but you are probably a very tall man (and I'm sure dark and handsome). For more petite females, hot liquids might even the playing field a little. Perhaps hot liquids to the eyes?


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## keltin (Oct 8, 2007)

Fisher's Mom said:


> True, Keltin, but you are probably a very tall man (and I'm sure dark and handsome). For more petite females, hot liquids might even the playing field a little. Perhaps hot liquids to the eyes?


 
Hot grits or liquids, even oils are VERY dangerous. I keep my distance!!!!

In fact, from what I’ve heard, hot grits are THE thing to make an impression when you decide to “physically train” your mate!


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## TATTRAT (Oct 8, 2007)

A big sauce pan of browning roux...Cajun NAPALM!


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## Uncle Bob (Oct 8, 2007)

And the Grand Prize goes to TATTRAT for the Cajun Napalm idea! I would rather have hot oil splashed on me than this stuff! It clings like glue, and you can't get it off quick enough!! Ouch!!


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## home cook (Oct 8, 2007)

Knifes and scissors will help, I think. Honestly I wouldn't be in my house in that moment.


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## AllenOK (Oct 8, 2007)

I was gonna mention Cajun Napalm, but Tat beat me to it.

I have a 14" hollow-ground carving knife at work.  Razor sharp (I know, because I tested it the last time I used it, and now half of my left hand is bald).  This thing would probably qualify as a short sword.

As to the original question, I wouldn't have had a moment's hesitation about loosing a little bacon on an intruder.  Besides, I cook bacon in a cast iron skillet, which makes an impression "traditional blunt instrument", not to mention it would be hot as heck.

Honestly, I think about safety first and foremost when I'm in a kitchen.


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## LT72884 (Oct 8, 2007)

Fisher's Mom said:


> I have an immersion blender that has a wicked sharp blade on the business end. Assuming the attacker was male, I think if I parried low to just the right spot, I could have him on his knees in a heartbeat! I think the injury would also make him very identifiable at the ER.



 I never ever ever ever ever ever want to make you mad. I will always stay on your happy side. lol. I would personally use an Egg better, the old school ones that you use your hands to spin the blades. That sure could get somethings tied in a knot in a real hurry. 

Lets see, if someone were to break into my house i would use a knife or something sharp. I cant guarantee that i would have any hot liquids around.


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## Claire (Oct 8, 2007)

Anything aeosol.  A spray in the face can buy you time to run away.


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## ChefJune (Oct 8, 2007)

1. My 10-inch chef's knife -- 
2, my 18-inch rolling pin
3. how about using wrought iron skewers as darts?


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## NAchef (Oct 8, 2007)

Nutcracker?


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## ChefJune (Oct 8, 2007)

NAchef said:


> Nutcracker?


 
Nah!  you'd have to get to close for that to do any good!


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## GB (Oct 8, 2007)

I would have my 10" chefs knife or my meat cleaver in one hand and my cast iron skillet in my other. The skillet would be a shield as well as a weapon. I think I would do more damage with the 10" chefs knife over the cleaver, but the cleaver might be more intimidating to see.


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## justplainbill (Oct 8, 2007)

3" - 6"; Depends on whether you're a slasher or a stabber.  If you slaughter your own protein an S&W, Sturm Ruger, etc. should qualify as a 'kitchen item' and keep you more than arms length from any mauraider.


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## jpmcgrew (Oct 8, 2007)

Clorox cleanup right in the eyes I did to myself by accident dont ask how and I can assure you it works greatThen hit with a skillet then hog tie with duct tape


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## Alix (Oct 8, 2007)

Well wow. I go offline for one day and come back to some serious silliness. 

IMO, the best kitchen tool for self defense is the phone. Bar none. That and the dog waiting for mess at my feet.


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## Aera (Oct 8, 2007)

Anything in my hands can become deadly!  Seriously though, a cast iron skillet in one hand, and a knife with a good handle and a long sharp blade in the other.


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## jpmcgrew (Oct 8, 2007)

Hey!Its almost halloween so go for it.


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## jpmcgrew (Oct 8, 2007)

Alix said:


> Well wow. I go offline for one day and come back to some serious silliness.
> 
> IMO, the best kitchen tool for self defense is the phone. Bar none. That and the dog waiting for mess at my feet.


Right the phone is great.But what do you do when you are caught off guard in the kitchen,I say pick up the first thing you can get your hands on.


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## buckytom (Oct 9, 2007)

Katie E said:


> Mine is my Smith & Wesson .357 on the pantry shelf and I won't hesitate to use it.


 

does anyone wonder if buck has ever complained about dinner? 


if there's an intruder in my house, he's (or she. ya never know) is gonna get bull rushed and beaten to death with whatever is available. 

dead people don't get a day in court.


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## jpmcgrew (Oct 9, 2007)

buckytom said:


> does anyone wonder if buck has ever complained about dinner?
> 
> 
> if there's an intruder in my house, he's (or she. ya never know) is gonna get bull rushed and beaten to death with whatever is available.
> ...


That is quite legal in many states.If an intruder comes in your house you are free to dispatch them its called the Make my day law


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## ronjohn55 (Oct 9, 2007)

See, now I need to correct Alton Brown, because my Fire Extinguisher is no longer classified as a "Uni-Tasker" 

John


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## Goat Stew (Oct 9, 2007)

a blender can be very dangerous!!


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## Aera (Oct 9, 2007)

buckytom said:


> if there's an intruder in my house, he's (or she. ya never know) is gonna get bull rushed and beaten to death with whatever is available.
> 
> dead people don't get a day in court.


 

That's right. Better to be judged by 12 than be carried by 6, as they say.


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## Dina (Oct 9, 2007)

Yikes!  I think I'd use my cast iron pans and ice picks for self defense.  Hope it doesn't happen to you again.


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## buckytom (Oct 10, 2007)

jpmcgrew said:


> That is quite legal in many states.If an intruder comes in your house you are free to dispatch them its called the Make my day law


 

do you have to squint, clench your teeth and call them a punk first, to make it legal?


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## kitchenelf (Oct 10, 2007)

buckytom said:


> do you have to squint, clench your teeth and call them a punk first, to make it legal?



Cute!

In our state a defense for killing someone is "he deserved it" or "he had it comin'"

Of course, that doesn't mean the jury will buy it!


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## Fisher's Mom (Oct 10, 2007)

kitchenelf said:


> Cute!
> 
> In our state a defense for killing someone is "he deserved it" or "he had it comin'"
> 
> Of course, that doesn't mean the jury will buy it!


We do too, Elf. The 2 major justifiable homicide defenses in Texas are:
1. He needed killin'.
2. My family's involved here.


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## girlgioush (Oct 10, 2007)

ehmm.. sweet soy sauce bottle?? is that included?


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