# Actual Ads - A little Friday Humor



## GB (Oct 21, 2005)

THESE ARE ACTUAL NEWSPAPER ADS!

 1.) FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years  old. Hateful little dog. Bites

 2.) FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2  sneaky neighbor's dog. 

 3.) FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part  stupid dog. 

4.) FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. 

 5.)  FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat ... been out awhile.  Better be a  reward. 

6.) COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED...Also 1 gay bull for sale.  

 7.) NORDIC TRACK: $300 hardly used, call Chubby. 

 8.) GEORGIA  PEACHES, California grown - 89 cents lb. 

 9.) JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300. 

 10.) WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE. Call Stephanie. 

 AND THE BEST ONE... 

 11.) FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica - 45  volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. wife knows  everything.


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## urmaniac13 (Oct 21, 2005)

I have also seen this...(dang... I can't remember the source)

*Free to good home: A friendly Rottweiler.  Eats everything.  Especially Loves children*


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## middie (Oct 21, 2005)

lmbo gb thanks i like those !!!!


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## jkath (Oct 21, 2005)

Those are great, GB!
Although, I did have a German Shepherd once, and he did speak only German! He'd been trained that way - we had to speak _his_ language! I remember "sitz" and "plotz" (no clue on the spelling) but I can't remember any more of his commands.


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## GB (Oct 21, 2005)

That is so funny Jkath!


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## cara (Oct 21, 2005)

jkath said:
			
		

> Those are great, GB!
> Although, I did have a German Shepherd once, and he did speak only German! He'd been trained that way - we had to speak _his_ language! I remember "sitz" and "plotz" (no clue on the spelling) but I can't remember any more of his commands.


 
sitz, platz, bei fuss, warte, hol, etc. ;o)


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## Raven (Oct 21, 2005)

I saw one on Freecycle just the other day:

Offer: 486 Tower fully functioning.  Please come and get this out of my house before I divorce my husband.
Thank you for saving my marriage.




~ Raven ~


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## jkath (Oct 21, 2005)

cara said:
			
		

> sitz, platz, bei fuss, warte, hol, etc. ;o)


 
Exactly! Thanks Cara!


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## tancowgirl2000 (Oct 24, 2005)

German speaking dogs are made for the RCMPs up here.....their commands are that way so the crooks can't take over...over something er other....Who would have time to talk to the dog while he's chewing your arm off anyways!


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## cara (Oct 24, 2005)

tancowgirl2000 said:
			
		

> German speaking dogs ....


 
 
I can't believe your dogs over there actually *speak *german...


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## texasgirl (Oct 24, 2005)

cara said:
			
		

> I can't believe your dogs over there actually *speak *german...


 
What, yours don't speak??  

I like the encyclopedia sale!!


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