# Cultural Differences



## jabbur (Oct 11, 2007)

I am studying sign language to become an interpreter.  As part of my language class we are also studying Deaf culture.  As part of an assignment, we are to find 3 things about another culture that differ from American.  Example given was how in Japan, boys and girls who are dating should not hold hands but in US it's okay.  I'd like to hear from those of you have lived or are living elsewhere and have learned first hand the do's and don'ts of another culture what things you've noticed.  It will be a great help for me and fun to discuss the differences between places.  Thanks!


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## Alix (Oct 11, 2007)

Not sure if this is relevant, but we just had a discussion about wearing shoes in the house. Here it is considered rude to wear your outside shoes in the house, but in many places you are looked at strangely if you remove your shoes when you enter a dwelling. In Japan, you remove your shoes too.


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## jpmcgrew (Oct 11, 2007)

I know that Koreans slurp their soups which is totally acceptable also they dont talk while eating.


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## Barbara L (Oct 11, 2007)

Alix said:


> Here it is considered rude to wear your outside shoes in the house


I didn't know this!  How interesting.  I knew it was the custom in Asian countries.  When you think about it, it really is a good idea.

 Barbara


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## Alix (Oct 11, 2007)

Well, when you think about it, no one really wants you to tromp 40lbs of snow into the house in the winter...ditto the grass clippings in the summer. LOL.


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## jpmcgrew (Oct 11, 2007)

Not to get off subject.I wish my dogs would at least learn to wipe their feet before coming in.


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## GotGarlic (Oct 11, 2007)

Alix said:


> Not sure if this is relevant, but we just had a discussion about wearing shoes in the house. Here it is considered rude to wear your outside shoes in the house, but in many places you are looked at strangely if you remove your shoes when you enter a dwelling. In Japan, you remove your shoes too.



What do you do when you're visiting someone during the winter?


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## Alix (Oct 11, 2007)

GotGarlic, what do you mean? It doesn't matter what season it is, when you enter someone's house you take off your shoes and go around in your sock feet or in bare feet. Some folks bring indoor shoes to wear.


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## keltin (Oct 11, 2007)

Alix said:


> Not sure if this is relevant, but we just had a discussion about wearing shoes in the house. Here it is considered rude to wear your outside shoes in the house, but in many places you are looked at strangely if you remove your shoes when you enter a dwelling. In Japan, you remove your shoes too.


 
Is that all over Canada, or for a particular area or set of people, etc? My Step-Father was born and raised in Canada, and his daughters still live there. None of them do this. Not that my step-father couldn’t use a little cultural edification, but that’s a different story! 

I do, however, have some “tree-hugging Wiccan” friends (THEY call themselves that, not me!!) that do this. I think it’s cool, but his wife keeps such a high polish on her hard wood floors, that I’ve come close (more than once!) to killing myself whilst walking sock-footed across those near glass-like surfaces! 

They picked up the idea when they lived in China and just kept doing it once they moved back here. Didn’t know it was the norm in other parts of the world too.


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## Snoop Puss (Oct 11, 2007)

Here in Barcelona in Spain, the locals tend not to leave tips, or only very small tips, when they take a taxi or eat out (not sure what the convention is in top-flight restaurants). If a taxi ride is €4.75, they might leave the taxi driver the 25 cents left from a €5 note. Ditto meals - they leave the smallest coins. Foreigners of course don't know this and leave huge tips in comparison, especially because meals out seem cheap (to Brits at least). Now I'm a non-Catalan but I've been here long enough to know the score. If I leave a big tip I'm considered daft, if I leave a 'local' tip I'm regarded as a cheapskate.


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## Dina (Oct 11, 2007)

I've noticed that the Mexican people tend to greet with a hug and kiss.  Americans don't seem to do much of that.
The "take off your shoes" thing is a tradition in my house at least.  I don't like to bring in extra germs and dirt from outside.  We walk around in our socks or indoor slippers.


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## GotGarlic (Oct 11, 2007)

Alix said:


> GotGarlic, what do you mean? It doesn't matter what season it is, when you enter someone's house you take off your shoes and go around in your sock feet or in bare feet. Some folks bring indoor shoes to wear.



I mean, I grew up in Michigan, and if it's freezing cold outside, the floor inside is likely to be cold, too. I guess I would be carrying my slippers around all the time


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## jabbur (Oct 11, 2007)

This is the kind of stuff I'm looking for!  Thanks and keep 'em coming.  I'm rather sheltered in that I've lived most of my lif in Ohio and VA.  Spent some time in Indiana but only about 2-3 years when I was little.  I do have itchy feet to go to other countries but the wallet is too thin to support my desire right now.  I too didn't realize it is rude to keep your shoes on in Canada.  Thanks again.


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## Yakuta (Oct 11, 2007)

Indian custom is also to not wear shoes in the house.  Amongst Muslims we pray on the floor which is one reason we don't like outside stuff indoors.

Another custom which a lot of people are familiar with is eating with your fingers.  Also we eat using right hand.  That's the appropriate custom.  No one uses two hands or left unless they are a kid or left handed. 


Washing hands thoroughly before a meal is something we do and ofcourse after. 

Another custom is related to respect of elders.  It may be prevelant in other cultures as well but amongst Indians elders get the utmost respect.  They are almost always catered to first and people will go out of their way to accomodate them (get them a chair, get them food etc.).  They are also addressed with a lot of respect.  

It was funny when I first came here it was a huge culture shock for me to see a much older gentelman addressed by his first name.  Back home we would always add a more respectful title when addressing someone who was considered our elder.


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## GB (Oct 11, 2007)

In the US the traditional color to wear when mourning someones death is Black. In some other countries (Korea for one I believe) white is what is worn for mourning.


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## GotGarlic (Oct 11, 2007)

jabbur said:


> I am studying sign language to become an interpreter.  As part of my language class we are also studying Deaf culture.  As part of an assignment, we are to find 3 things about another culture that differ from American.  Example given was how in Japan, boys and girls who are dating should not hold hands but in US it's okay.  I'd like to hear from those of you have lived or are living elsewhere and have learned first hand the do's and don'ts of another culture what things you've noticed.  It will be a great help for me and fun to discuss the differences between places.  Thanks!



We have hosted exchange students from several European countries, and in Germany and Denmark, at least, people greet each other with a kiss on both cheeks.

In traditional Muslim societies, women often cover their hair with a headscarf; married women aren't permitted to go around outside the home without a male escort from their family (husband, father, brother); and in some areas, are not permitted to drive. Also, DH visited Morocco while in the Navy and was told that it's extremely rude to show the bottoms of your feet in public, akin to flipping the bird, and in Arab countries, you never eat food with your left hand - that hand is reserved for toilet duty.

When I was in Turkey, shopkeepers always brought apple tea to shoppers, even in the grocery store.

My dad was in China for two weeks on a business trip and observed that they don't use diapers on their toddlers - they wear split pants with their little butts hanging out. Not sure what the potty training procedure is.

HTH.


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## Loprraine (Oct 11, 2007)

"Is that all over Canada  "

I think it varies from household to household.  The other 2 in the house take them off, but I leave them on.  Unless it's wintertime, I tell people to keep them on.  (skanky socks, ya know??).  

Where is it that it is acceptable, even preferable, to burp out loud after a meal?  I'm sure I've heard that one. It shows the host you enjoyed the meal.


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## Katie H (Oct 11, 2007)

Yakuta said:


> It was funny when I first came here it was a huge culture shock for me to see a much older gentleman addressed by his first name.  Back home we would always add a more respectful title when addressing someone who was considered our elder.



I grew up in the south and am back living here again.  We always respected our elders as you mentioned, Yakuta.  However, when it came to addressing someone older than we, we never used their "straight" first name.  For example, if I wanted to speak to Mrs. Mary Jackson, I referred to her as "Miss" Mary.  The "Miss" is always used whether the lady is married or single.  Likewise, her husband, Russell, was addressed as "Mr." Russell.

And, like many things, what goes around, comes around.  I'm now called "Miss" Katie by the younger set.


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## Fisher's Mom (Oct 11, 2007)

Awesome thread, jabbur!
Loprraine, I believe in China and Japan, burping and in general, noisy eating is a compliment to the chef.
White is the color of mourning in Japan also, GB.
In France, Snoop Puss, the rule for tipping in a restaurant is the same as Spain apparently. Only the "small coins" that round up to the next Euro. I thought it had something to do with the hefty VAT tax if you are dining in. Folks think they've already been hit twice for the meal.
Dina, being from Texas too, I've noticed my Mexican friends hug and kiss all friends and family. My family is all from the south and we have always been big huggers. Pretty much, we hug anyone we've ever met before. When I lived in MA, people thought we were the strangest, hugginest folks ever. But we only kiss close family members.
Alix, I love the concept of not wearing outdoor shoes inside. It's why wall-to-wall carpeting gives me the creeps in America. My family takes off their shoes just inside the door but it's because we're really barefoot hillbillies at heart!


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## Fisher's Mom (Oct 11, 2007)

Katie E said:


> I grew up in the south and am back living here again.  We always respected our elders as you mentioned, Yakuta.  However, when it came to addressing someone older than we, we never used their "straight" first name.  For example, if I wanted to speak to Mrs. Mary Jackson, I referred to her as "Miss" Mary.  The "Miss" is always used whether the lady is married or single.  Likewise, her husband, Russell, was addressed as "Mr." Russell.
> 
> And, like many things, what goes around, comes around.  I'm now called "Miss" Katie by the younger set.


We do this, too. My 5 year old calls all my friends Mr. or Miss and every adult he meets at the grocery store or in a restaurant or the lady who cuts his hair! And I always refer to anyone older than me as Ma'am or Sir as well. In the south, it's just good manners.


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## vyapti (Oct 11, 2007)

Yakuta said:


> Another custom which a lot of people are familiar with is eating with your fingers. Also we eat using right hand. That's the appropriate custom. _No one uses two hands or left unless they are a kid or left handed_.


I worked with a guy from Eretria (Ethiopia), where they also eat with their hand.  I asked what you do if you're left handed and he said that "if you are left handed, you are not left handed."


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## Loprraine (Oct 11, 2007)

In Quebec, instead of greeting someone with a hug and a kiss, you kiss them on both cheeks.

When I visit Maryland or Virginia, I am always called "Miss Loprraine".  Either they are very polite, or I am very old.


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## GotGarlic (Oct 11, 2007)

Fisher's Mom said:


> We do this, too. My 5 year old calls all my friends Mr. or Miss and every adult he meets at the grocery store or in a restaurant or the lady who cuts his hair!



It's the same in Virginia. Miss Kim is one thing - but I will never forget the time my neighbor's daughter first called DH Mr. Dan. I thought that was the funniest thing! Of course, we grew up in Michigan, so were not really familiar with this custom.



Fisher's Mom said:


> And I always refer to anyone older than me as Ma'am or Sir as well. In the south, it's just good manners.



I still can't get used to this one and we moved here in 1985.


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## Fisher's Mom (Oct 11, 2007)

Loprraine said:


> In Quebec, instead of greeting someone with a hug and a kiss, you kiss them on both cheeks.
> 
> When I visit Maryland or Virginia, I am always called "Miss Loprraine".  Either they are very polite, or I am very old.


 I love that! Actually, the first time I got Ma'am ed, I was really shocked. I never thought of myself as old enough to merit a Ma'am. But I was always called Miss Terry from the time I started babysitting for other people's kids as a teenager.


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## Fisher's Mom (Oct 11, 2007)

GotGarlic said:


> I still can't get used to this one and we moved here in 1985.


It's true that lots of people don't like being referred to as Sir or Ma'am - even some southerners. What they usually say is: Oh, you must be referring to my father (or mother)! Then I try really hard to remember not to Sir or Ma'am them.


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## LuckyDuck (Oct 11, 2007)

I have a friend who is from China.  He told me in China they don't eat food with their hands.  If your sitting at a table and someone touches the food with their hands, everyone at the table will get up and leave.  I didn't ask him if the food was on your own plate would touching it be ok or not.  I guess if its in a serving bowl that everyone gets food from its a definite no no.


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## jabbur (Oct 11, 2007)

Wow, what great responses.  I knew my DC friends wouldn't let me down.  My assignment now will consist of pick out 3 and translating them to ASL.  That won't be as much fun as reading all your responses.  Thanks!


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## GB (Oct 11, 2007)

When growing up we were always taught to respect our elders as well. However if we ever called someone Mr. or Mrs. we would inevitably get the following response...

"My mother is Mrs. Jones. You can call me Ann. Just how old do you think I am?"


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## Alix (Oct 11, 2007)

OK, at this point, I forget who asked if it is all over Canada that the custom of removing your shoes is prevalent. I can't speak for every household (Thanks Loprraine for your comment BTW) Canada is a BIG place. I can say that every home I have visited here has the same custom except for those folks that have lived in the US. 

GotGarlic, I get you with the cold floor thing, but its not really an issue inside. Do they heat with something other than natural gas where you were from maybe? The floors usually stay pretty warm inside even when its 50 freezies outside here. We have hardwood and tile throughout the main part of the house and I am barefoot all year round. 

OK, and just to be contradictory, in the summer, I go barefoot outside and in...therefore tracking all kinds of crap in during the summer. Go figure. 

Good thing you didn't ask about the reasoning behind the custom because I sure couldn't answer you on that one. You should check out the thread on chopsticks for customs too. There are some good ones in that thread. 

Oh, and my kids both use an honorific in front of an adults first name. Rather than calling their best friends Mom Mrs ____, its Miss Maryanne etc. Its a way of preserving a respectful distance and yet acknowledging their closer relationship.


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## Dave Hutchins (Oct 11, 2007)

When I was a kid my father would knock my head into next week If I addressed any body older than me by there first names it was allways Mr-------. Mam---- Miss------
and today it is still Mam,Mr, Miss Mrs. It has done me well


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## Barbara L (Oct 11, 2007)

GB said:


> In the US the traditional color to wear when mourning someones death is Black. In some other countries (Korea for one I believe) white is what is worn for mourning.


In an art class I took in college we had to do a group presentation about color. Almost everyone started talking about the most boring sounding presentations, but I never liked writing on the same topics or doing a carbon copy of someone else's presentation, so I suggested something else to my group. Our presentation was about the colors of weddings and funerals all over the world.  My group looked at me a little weird at first, but they all ended up getting into the topic. 

 Barbara


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## expatgirl (Oct 12, 2007)

Wedding tradition in Kazakhstan---to decorate the  outside of the  newlywed's car with ribbons & flowers and accompanied by close friends and family caravan and visit several important monuments in the area, take photos,  and leave some flowers as a tribute

Birthday tradition in K---you bring your own cake to celebrate with others


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## expatgirl (Oct 12, 2007)

I just noticed the posts on shoes----here in K.(where winter temps. can get to -40) the apartments are very small but they usually have  large entranceways (even have a  special name for it) and everyone is expected to take off their shoes, boots in this room.  That way all the dirt, mud, sludge, etc. is confined to one place. Most places have extra warm slippers to provide for  their guests to wear while inside. Workmen and others just remove their shoes. I have lived here going on 3 years and have yet to pick up "anything".   Even at the school where I volunteer, the children have both "indoor" and "outdoor" shoes.


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## jpmcgrew (Oct 12, 2007)

As long as I have 3 dogs and 2 cats running in and out of the house the taking off the shoes is not gonna happpen.As much as I try to keep the floors clean the dogs have this amazing ability to find the smallest mud hole and drag it into the house. Thats OK I love them anyway.


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## radhuni (Oct 13, 2007)

In our culture (Indian) a man and a woman generally never touch each other if  they are not family members. They only touch the feet of the older person with hand (pranam).


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## buckytom (Oct 13, 2007)

keltin said:


> I do, however, have some “tree-hugging Wiccan” friends (THEY call themselves that, not me!!) that do this. I think it’s cool, but his wife keeps such a high polish on her hard wood floors, that I’ve come close (more than once!) to killing myself whilst walking sock-footed across those near glass-like surfaces!
> 
> They picked up the idea when they lived in China and just kept doing it once they moved back here. Didn’t know it was the norm in other parts of the world too.


 

time to practice your moon walk, or your tom cruise/"risky business" imitation.
umm, but keep your pants on. don't wiccans worship a full moon?
ok, well, nevermind.

alix, the "shoes off" thing must be traditional to many snowy countries, besides asian ones. my mom is from norway, and we had the same rule. i feel kinda funny walking around in my shoes in someone's house, actually.

you'd think the same would be true in arrid countries, because of all of the dust and dirt. think of the tradition of foot washing on holy thursday.


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## Rom (Oct 13, 2007)

In India there is no touching, kissing, hugging or hand holding. Went with my bf to see his parents in India. I believe I was able to put my arm through his though (i guess this constitutes as touching...ooo wah! ) hehehehe 

In Australia,  you see people "smooching" in public and no one cares

I like people to keep their shoes on inside  My parents have tiles through their house and make sure people leave shoes on, i unfortunately have carpet and insist on shoes as well.

Tips at restaurants are not Mandatory


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## jeninga75 (Oct 13, 2007)

When I was sent to Korea while I was in the Army there were a couple things that were a shock to us.  The biggest thing was seeing young men walking withe there arms around eachother or "arm in arm".  You expect girls to do this but not guys.  It took a while getting used to especially for the male soldiers.  

Another thing was when you went out shopping you always bartered.  At first I was kinda shy about it, but then it got fun.


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## Alix (Oct 13, 2007)

BT, I agree, I think it has to do with all the snow and crud being tracked through the house. 

jpmcgrew, I have pets too, and we train our dogs to sit just inside the door when they come in and we wipe their feet, or dig the snow balls out of their fuzzy feet. If they won't tolerate that then they have to sit on a big mat til they clean their own feet. LOL. Somewhat time consuming, but it works for me.


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## cara (Oct 14, 2007)

GotGarlic said:


> We have hosted exchange students from several European countries, and in Germany and Denmark, at least, people greet each other with a kiss on both cheeks.



you don't usually do that in G... I know this from France and Switzerland, but not from Germany..

I must admit, I don't know, what's so special about german culture, 'cause I grew up with it and so it's just normal to me..


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## Claire (Oct 14, 2007)

Cultural differences can make you crazy.  I sometimes close my eyes and repeat, this person isn't really trying to insult me, he is just from a different culture.  There are so many it can drive you crazy. Never show the bottom of your feet to an Arab.  Never eat with your left hand in many cultures (that hand is for taking care of bodily functions).  Never, ever spear food with your chop stick.  When you meet someone new, always show both of your hands.  I grew up with a myriad of different cultures, and as I get older, find myself with many more.  

Many Middle Eastern men, Christian, Jew, or Muslim, will hug and walk arm in arm with their male buddies (and not gay), but would never, ever show that much affection to their wives, female friends, or daughters. 

There are so many cultural differences that you could fill a book.


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## Snoop Puss (Oct 14, 2007)

Here's a recent piece on the BBC website about Brits and social kissing:

BBC NEWS | Magazine | Pecking order

Even here in Spain I'm not too sure. The man who runs our local builder's yard is getting to be a good friend of my partner's. He expects the two-cheek kiss if he comes to drop stuff off  but not if I go round to his office. The other day I did the two-cheek kiss to say hello to our lady mayor in the town hall. No idea if that's normal or not.


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## CiCi (Oct 14, 2007)

Alix said:


> Not sure if this is relevant, but we just had a discussion about wearing shoes in the house. Here it is considered rude to wear your outside shoes in the house, but in many places you are looked at strangely if you remove your shoes when you enter a dwelling. In Japan, you remove your shoes too.


I'm Chinese-American and remember getting in trouble every time I forgot to take my shoes off when I came home from school. Mom has a shoe radar and knows you are wearing them in the house even when she was upstairs in her sewing room.


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## mitmondol (Oct 14, 2007)

In European countries you eat with your fork and knife.I mean you keep your knife in your right hand and cut every bite just before you eat it. I still do that, can't get used to the only fork in right hand thing.
When you are finished, you put your knife and fork side by side across your plate, handles facing to the right.
Even if there is food left on your plate the host or waiter knows you are finished.
Napkins are kept on the table not on your lap.
When a couple enters a public place the man goes in first then holds the door for the woman. Leaving the same place, the man holds the door and the woman leaves first. 
Meeting strangers you shake hands, regardless of gender.
Meeting family or close friends you kiss on both cheeks.
There is no rule for taking shoes off, we did it anyway in the winter when ikt was snowy outside.
I'm sure there are more, just can't think of them at the moment.


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