# What Parents Learn From Kids



## Alix (Apr 7, 2005)

*This is a personal favourite of mine.*

*WHAT PARENTS LEARN FROM KIDS*


Always look in the oven before you turn it on -- plasic toys do not like ovens.
There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
A 4 year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Pound Puppy underwear and a Superman cape.
It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When you use the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words Uh-oh, it's already too late.
Brake fluid mixed with Chlorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
A 6 year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
If you use a watebed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes.
A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.
Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old; Duplos will not.
Plah-Doh and microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
Super-glue is forever.
McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.
Ditto Tarzan.
No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
Pool filters do not like Jello.
VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise while driving.
You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
The fire department in San Diego has at least a 5 minute response time.
The spin cycle on the washine machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will however make cats dizzy.
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry.
Nail polish does not make good face paint.
A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (mostly in retrospect).


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## wasabi (Apr 7, 2005)

> A 4 year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.


Whenever there is a screaming child in the shopping mall.....I turn and head the other way.


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## middie (Apr 7, 2005)

lmao these are great


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## lindatooo (Apr 7, 2005)

Thanks!  I sent a copy to my Son & DIL - my GD is nearing a year!


2


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## crewsk (Apr 7, 2005)

> Super-glue is forever.


 
Please don't remind me!!


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## Alix (Apr 7, 2005)

My favourite was a dizzy cat throws up twice its body weight.


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## ChefWhite (Apr 8, 2005)

crewsk said:
			
		

> Please don't remind me!!


 
Apparently superglue was designed during the Viet-war to stick together broken soldiers. (ie- cuts gashes wounds) which is why the best thing it always sticks together is your fingers.


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## crewsk (Apr 8, 2005)

ChefWhite, when my 5yr. old was about 2 1/2 she suger glued herself to the kitchen floor! Her toes on both feet were stuck together. I got her taken care of but that glue was on the floor to stay!


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## ChefWhite (Apr 8, 2005)

crewsk said:
			
		

> ChefWhite, when my 5yr. old was about 2 1/2 she suger glued herself to the kitchen floor! Her toes on both feet were stuck together. I got her taken care of but that glue was on the floor to stay!


 
Woah.. that must have been pretty scary at the time. but I guess its proof positive that super glue is forever!


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## crewsk (Apr 8, 2005)

Yes it was! But I can laugh about it now. My son was 5 at the time & he tried to take the super glue away from her & the little push pin top got stuck to his thumb. Luckly I have an aunt who is an RN & I called her. She said to use ice to harden the glue & it would crack to release my daughters toes & then use acetone nail polish remover to help loosen it some more & peel it off her skin. What I couldn't get off her just had to wear off.


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## ChefWhite (Apr 8, 2005)

Crazy. three cheers for intellegent family. I'll have to remember the cold ice and acetone nail polish remover next time I have a superglue accident.... not that I've ever had one before. *cough cough* ahem.


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## crewsk (Apr 8, 2005)

Just don't do what this lady I worked with once did. She had a filling come out of her tooth. Well, it was going to be a couple of days befoe she could go to the dentist & have it fixed. So she went to get some of that temoprary filling that you can buy at most drugstores & they were out. She decided to use super glue instead & wound up getting her tounge stuck to her bottom lip!! I just couldn't believe she put that stuff in her mouth!! What was she thinking?!?! Anyway, she had to go to the hospital & they had to very carefully cut her lip away from her tounge. She wound up with 3 or 4 stiches in her lip too.


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## ChefWhite (Apr 8, 2005)

I think it's safe to say I won't do that. For one thing I have no fillings!! *Massive grin!* All natural People!! Smile for miles and miles!


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