# A New Twist on the Creation Story....



## pdswife (Aug 16, 2005)

...
 In the  beginning, God created the Heavens and the
 Earth and populated  the
Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach,
green and  yellow and red
 vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman  would
 live long and healthy
 lives.

 Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben
 and Jerry's Ice  Cream and
 Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want
 chocolate with that?" And
 Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as  long as
 you're at it, add some
 sprinkles." And they gained  10 pounds. And Satan
 smiled.

 And God created  the healthful yogurt that Woman
 might keep the figure that

 Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white
flour  from the wheat, and

 sugar from the cane and combined  them. And Woman
 went from size 6 to size
 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan
 presented Thousand
 Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic  toast
 on the side. And Man
 and
 Woman  unfastened their belts following the repast.

 God then  said, "I have sent you heart healthy
vegetables and olive oil in
which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep
 fried fish and  chicken
 fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And
 Man gained more weight
 and his cholesterol went through the  roof.

 God then created a light, fluffy white cake,  named
 it "Angel Food Cake,"
 and said, "It is good." Satan  then created
 chocolate cake and named it
 "Devil's  Food."

 God then brought forth running shoes so that  His
children might lose those

 extra pounds.  And Satan gave cable TV with a
 remote control so Man would
 not have to toil changing the channels. And Man
and Woman laughed  and
 cried
  before the flickering blue light and  gained
 pounds.

 Then God brought forth the  potato, naturally low
 in fat and brimming with
 nutrition.  And Satan peeled off the healthful skin
 and sliced the starchy
 center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man
 gained  pounds.

 God then gave lean beef so that Man might  consume
 fewer calories and still

 satisfy his  appetite. And Satan created McDonald's
 and its 99-cent double
 cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with
that?" And Man  replied,
 "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is
 good." And Man went
 into
 cardiac arrest.
 God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

 Then Satan created HMOs.


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## Andy M. (Aug 16, 2005)

Hilarious!  I just sent it to all my friends and family!


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## middie (Aug 16, 2005)

lmao pds. good one


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## kadesma (Aug 16, 2005)

Oh boy, you've done it again there girl  

kadesma


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## lindatooo (Aug 19, 2005)

Oh my sides hurt!  Thank you!  I can think of at least a dozen people to send this to!


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