# For Women Only



## VeraBlue (May 27, 2008)

Have you seen that commercial that says "for the generation that swore it'd never get old...well it hasn't!"?  What a load of %#%%^&^$!   Did you actually see that guy with the surfboard, who says "never trust anyone over 90"?  Is he really supposed to be, what....60?  C'mon, I know a 40 year old tri-athlete when I see one.   

I, on the other hand, believe me and my 8 remaining eggs are torpedoing towards menopause at breakneck speed.  (for all you men that felt you might be interested in a thread that is titled 'for women only', this might be a good time to excuse yourselves...isn't there a surfboard waiting for you, somewhere?)

I am 46, and while my hair believes it's 82 (anyone who goes grey at the tender age of 26 must have some old lady's hair, yes) I feel and act like I'm at least 15 years younger.  My ovaries, on the other hand, are already searching the want ads for quiet porches with white, wooden rocking chairs.  I always enjoyed a nice, reliable cycle.  If I was late, I was pregnant.  It doesn't get any easire than that.  Now...I have calendars with circles and calendars with triangles.  The circles are when I got 'it' the previous month.  The triangle is when 'it' actually knocked.  It's been some time since a circle and a triangle actually met.  March had two circles and one triangle.  April had no circles and no triangles, and it feels really bad about that.  May, while 27 days in has no circles or triangles to speak of, either, I'm a firm believer in 'it ain't over till the fat lady sings'.  I just think those 8 remaining eggs of mine forgot the words to any songs other than auld lang syne.

And what's with the pimples??    I got the typical teenager bouts of zits (godhowihatethatword), purchased stock in the clearasil company, and figured I'd grow out of it.  I gotta tell you, if I have to suffer the indignity of one more pimple, I sure as rain better not ever get a wrinkle.  As far as I'm concerned, I should be able to tan to my hearts content.  I've got a complexion that is, apparently, 2/3 olive oil.  No, I'd better not ever wrinkle.

And my feet are always hot.  All night long, I have to hang them out of the bed, hoping some errant breeze will twist about them, cooling off the rest of my body.  And the nape of my neck tends to get damp during the night.  What's with that????  It's as though someone has put a cool compress to the back of my neck, only the compress is invisible and the water I feel actually seeped out.

So, now I'm reading WebMD, getting all sorts of fun filled facts regarding periomenopause.  What a name.  Perio.  Reminds me of where they cut me when I pushed those two kids out, about a hundred years and 3000 eggs ago.  First, you hear the doctor say 'you're going to feel some pressure'...when he reallly means 'this is going to hurt a he!! of a lot, but it will help the watermelon pass'.    More or less, my kids have moved out.  (my daughter visits when she has multiple days off from work and just sleeps and eats when she's here.  my son, who sorta still lives here, is in love, and I'm pretty much invisible to them)  I'm enjoying the empty nest, wish they'd both just clean out their rooms so I can sell this place.  My ovaries, it seems, are all in an uproar about their empty nest.  C'mon ladies, I say...push those babies out.  Get it over with already.

Remember when Edith Bunker was going through 'the change'?  Archie was at wit's end trying to be nice to her, but it was killing him.  Finally, he'd had enough, and insisted that if she was going to have a change of life, she had exactly 5 minutes to do it in.  C'mon Edith, he said, change!   

Perio, indeed....my feet are hot.


----------



## Katie H (May 27, 2008)

Been there.  Done that.  Got the T-shirt.  No...got the sweatshirt.  Welcome to the world  of  "over 40," darlin'!

Do  you like rollercoaster rides?  If you  don't, you'd better learn to  like them because you are embarking on the  ride of a lifetime.  Oh, and, learn to be naked.   That's the only way - save for a cold shower - you'll cool off during  bouts of "hot."  Think your feet  are hot now,  wait for the rest of  your body to catch up.

I got  cured.  Had  to  have a hysterectomy about  10 years ago because  I was in dire straights healthwise.  Best decision  I ever made.

I'm no longer the "Madwoman of Harlan Hill!"


----------



## LadyCook61 (May 27, 2008)

I hear ya. Been there , done that.  It's only just begun for you.  I'm 61 and half .   I still get hot feet , can't bear to wear shoes, I go barefoot all the time in the house and out in the yard.


----------



## kitchenelf (May 27, 2008)

I was lucky (maybe not at the time) going through the change and a $67,000.00 attorney-fee divorce at the ripe age of 37.  It was #@!! then but it's great now.  And guess what, a hysterectomy is even greater!!!!!!  Best thing I ever did for myself.  Yea, the nape of your neck - you're only starting babe!  Wait until your hair is soaked and plastered to your head and you wake up looking like you already took a shower. :flower:

Oh wait, I'll try to think of something good about it and get back with you


----------



## kadesma (May 27, 2008)

Here's one good thing..You can go sit through a football game in 30 degree weather with just a light sweater and feel like it's spring...


kadesma


----------



## Fisher's Mom (May 27, 2008)

Wow, Vera, it sounds like you and I are living the same life. (Although I've just recently started with full-on hot flashes that wake me up periodically throughout the night.)

I really hear you on the hair thing - I can't figure out whose hair is on my head now but it's nothing like the hair I used to have. Ditto for my skin. It seems like I woke up one day in someone else's skin (and she must have been old!)

My little purse calendar is dotted with red circles too, that seem to have no discernible cycle at all. Essentially, I have to be ready for "it" to show up at any moment. 

You didn't mention crankiness, moodiness and weird spells of forgetfulness. If you haven't experienced those yet, get ready for them.

The up side for me is _eventually_ I will never have to worry about getting pregnant again! Also, I like who I am at this age. I feel confident and self-reliant. I'm more mellow because I know how not to worry about the small stuff anymore because it just doesn't matter. I feel sexier and more attractive now too (but that may be all in my head .) In the end, I just look at it as getting to another stage in life - but it really sucks getting there.


----------



## pdswife (May 27, 2008)

Thank you Vera!
  If you don't mind I'd like to send this to a few of my friends.  It's priceless.


----------



## MexicoKaren (May 27, 2008)

Oh Vera, your treatise is worthy of wider distribution for sure. Like Katie, Kadesma, et.al., I have FINALLY stopped having hot flashes and I am grateful. I can remember giving speeches (work-related) and having sweat drip down on my notes so that I couldn't read them! Had to apologize more than a few times because I had to remove my steamed-up glasses and wipe them down. Hang on, kid.


----------



## GotGarlic (May 27, 2008)

Due to chronic medical problems, I may have skipped the menopause phase altogether and recently was pretty much diagnosed as post-menopausal (I'm 45). I sympathize with you, though, Vera. I've heard a lot about "the change" from friends and relatives and it doesn't sound like any fun at all. I do love the way you wrote about it, though  Here's hoping it doesn't last too long.


----------



## jpmcgrew (May 27, 2008)

Wow! A few months ago I was getting less and less menses. About two months ago they just disappeared I'm fifty years old but have yet to get any symptom's was a late starter when I was younger and have never ever had cramps except in my late 30s when I was going thru a great amount of stress. Always had the most incredible PMS until I got on Paxil and increased my fish oil and calcium and yet no cramps to speak of. I'm still surprised that there are no symptoms so far. I am really hoping I will breeze thru this as I did when I was younger. I do drink some soy milk and take some ground flax seed every few days which is supposed to help with the change.


----------



## Barbara L (May 27, 2008)

I'm sure my husband must sometimes think that I have either lost my mind or I am being attacked by a swarm of mosquitoes because I will be sitting here at my computer, behaving perfectly normally.  All of the sudden I am ripping all of my clothes off because I feel like if I leave them on I will die!  What is bad is when that feeling hits in public, for obvious reasons.    He hates when I get like that at night, in bed, because he can feel the heat actually radiating from my body.  

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl (May 28, 2008)

goodness, I will hand you my perimenopause experience anyday........by the way the Russians have a wonderful word for this stage of your life   "climaxia"  how true.......my mother-in-law warned me not to have teens while I was going thru it and she was so right.........you really don't want to be handling menopause and teen rebellion at the same time.......


----------



## Alix (May 28, 2008)

OK, you guys are scaring me. I'm hot to begin with and frequently feel like I'm going to die if I can't get fresh air and I'm nowhere close to having hot flashes. When it hits I may spontaneously combust. Stay tuned, I'll try to make sure I do it next to someone really objectionable and take them down with me.


----------



## LadyCook61 (May 28, 2008)

Hot flashes---Power Surge


----------



## suziquzie (May 28, 2008)

I never had bad PMS until after I had my tubes tied. 
You guys are scaring me, maybe I will be lucky enough to go thru it early and be done with it before I have a house full of teenagers! 
Otherwise I have another 15 years or so to chew my nails about it..... and be really teary and chubby once a month for no good reason!


----------



## GotGarlic (May 28, 2008)

On the bright side - in the winter, I've heard hot flashes described as "carrying around your own personal furnace."


----------



## quicksilver (May 28, 2008)

_    BarbL, curses on you. I was just thinking the same thing and don't you know - it's happening now. I hate thinking about it, let alone talk about it._
_When I was 40 (now 52) it came on my birthday. Bang!_
_I thought I was finally pregnant, went to the doc, he said no, and that was it. No gradual/erratic anything._

_I never suffered any phobias before, but clastraphobia now BIG TIME. I have to have a ceiling fan on at all times, not so much for the cooling, as for the air circulation, or I'll jump out of my skin._
_Never had weight problem. Was 105 in jr. highschool til 40. Then wham!, been 120-125 ever since and can't, for the life of me lose 15lbs. How silly is that?_
_And now have osteo- what do you call it?- calcium poor bones. Never broke a bone in my life til 2 yrs ago. Fractured 2 ribs on my right side that punctured the lining of my lung. Did it just by coughing and twisting at the same time. Talk about a pain. What a pain! That's when I was diagnosed. Who knew. I didn't know. Doc asked what I was taking for osteo..... I had the dumbest look on my face. That's how I learned._

_BUT, guess what...NOT A GRAY HAIR ON MY HEAD! My mom did, but her mom did not, and I have grandma's coloring. Lucky me!_

_It could be worse. I could be 13 again, with those terrible cramps. No thanks._


----------



## Fisher's Mom (May 28, 2008)

Alix said:


> OK, you guys are scaring me. I'm hot to begin with and frequently feel like I'm going to die if I can't get fresh air and I'm nowhere close to having hot flashes. When it hits I may spontaneously combust. Stay tuned, I'll try to make sure I do it next to someone really objectionable and take them down with me.


Sorry Alix. It really isn't that awful - just very annoying. I'm having the full blown "power surges" (thanks for that one LadyCook), and haven't scorched anyone yet. (Still, I like the idea of being able to harness it - I know a few objectionable people too!)


----------



## Fisher's Mom (May 28, 2008)

suziquzie said:


> I never had bad PMS until after I had my tubes tied.
> You guys are scaring me, maybe I will be lucky enough to go thru it early and be done with it before I have a house full of teenagers!
> Otherwise I have another 15 years or so to chew my nails about it..... and be really teary and chubby once a month for no good reason!


No one told me about timing it right, so I have 2 teens and a 5 year old during this "special" time. So far so good. Maybe it's because they are all boys so not much drama. I'm thinking it might be a _husband_ you want to avoid having during the change.


----------



## Fisher's Mom (May 28, 2008)

quicksilver said:


> _Never had weight problem. Was 105 in jr. highschool til 40. Then wham!, been 120-125 ever since and can't, for the life of me lose 15lbs. How silly is that?_
> _It could be worse. I could be 13 again, with those terrible cramps. No thanks._


Yeah! What's up with the weight thing, quicksilver? The same 15 lbs. are plaguing me, too. I've always been fairly thin and since I'm tall, 15 lbs isn't a huge amount - just enough to make me sweat more during my power surges. Has anyone else noticed they burn calories differently (or not at all) since menopause? And I wouldn't be 13 again for any amount of money. Teen angst is way worse than menopause!


----------



## quicksilver (May 28, 2008)

_    Fisher's Mom, post # 19, haven't had one of them since 1989!!!  Had a couple live withs since, but not since moving down here.     _


*seperate but equal is my motto!!!*​


----------



## LadyCook61 (May 28, 2008)

Wait til you hit the actual menopause ... mood swings

Menopause, Menopause Symptoms: hot flashes, night sweats, itching, tinnitis, low libido
just added a link


----------



## Fisher's Mom (May 28, 2008)

quicksilver said:


> _    Fisher's Mom, post # 19, haven't had one of them since 1989!!!  Had a couple live withs since, but not since moving down here.     _
> 
> 
> *seperate but equal is my motto!!!*​


I have one, but he's lived in another city for almost 5 years. That's probably the reason perimenopause hasn't been _too_ bad so far. (He comes on the weekends and I've noticed my "crankiness" seems to rear it's ugly head more often then.)


----------



## LadyCook61 (May 28, 2008)

*Menopause Jewelry*

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings,
bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be
able to monitor my moods.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood,
it turns green and when I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a
big red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.


----------



## Constance (May 28, 2008)

I remember standing outside on the deck, naked, when it was 20 degrees, just trying to get cooled off. I had a fibroid tumor, and the bigger it got, the more my uterus cramped and bled trying to push it out, to the point where I never knew when I was going to start flooding. By the time I had a hysterectomy, the fibroid was the size of a large cantaloupe. (The Dr. had a thing about fruit, I guess...we went from peach to orange to grapefruit to cantaloupe!)

I truly believe that once a woman is finished having children, she's better off without that durned uterus! And there's no reason not to have a hysterectomy done these days, as the surgeries been simplified, being done through the navel and the ******, without the pain we went through back when I had it done.


----------



## quicksilver (May 28, 2008)

_     No thanks, Constance. I'd rather sweat than do pain._
_I tell everyone medical, especially the dentist...*" I DON"T DO PAIN". "IF YOU HURT ME, I WILL BITE YOU, SO GIVE ME DOUBLE NOVACAIN." *They do and everybody is happy and intact._


----------



## Fisher's Mom (May 28, 2008)

Constance said:


> I remember standing outside on the deck, naked, when it was 20 degrees, just trying to get cooled off. I had a fibroid tumor, and the bigger it got, the more my uterus cramped and bled trying to push it out, to the point where I never knew when I was going to start flooding. By the time I had a hysterectomy, the fibroid was the size of a large cantaloupe. (The Dr. had a thing about fruit, I guess...we went from peach to orange to grapefruit to cantaloupe!)
> 
> I truly believe that once a woman is finished having children, she's better off without that durned uterus! And there's no reason not to have a hysterectomy done these days, as the surgeries been simplified, being done through the navel and the ******, without the pain we went through back when I had it done.


I have a fibroid, too, that is starting to give me grief. I found out I had it when I was 41 at a routine dr. appt. She told me about it and I was freaked out - I'd not had any symptoms. Then she said it really wasn't an issue as long as it wasn't bothering me and I didn't want anymore children. (Five years later, I had my youngest!) But the past couple of years I've been having the same type of symptoms as you, Constance. It's my understanding that once you finally actually achieve menopause, they go away completely but until then, they grow. Mine's pretty big but I'm trying to wait it out so it will disappear.


----------



## buckytom (May 28, 2008)

hmmm, no men allowed, huh?

well, there's a similarly titled thread going on right now that doesn't discriminate: http://www.discusscooking.com/forums/f41/dry-fallen-cakes-please-help-46546.html


----------



## Constance (May 28, 2008)

Very funny, BT.


----------



## LPBeier (May 28, 2008)

Thanks Vera, and I feel for you, but things will get better!

Until I was 20 I, much to the frustration of my mother and sister had wonderful cycles - they came exactly on time, no pain, bloating and lasted three days, no more no less.  At twenty I had a cyst on my ovary burst because they were taking too long trying to find out what was wrong with me and that's when the joy ride ended and I started on the roller coaster.  I had PMS before it was even PMS and bad too.  I would end up missing a day or even two every month due to the pain and other symptoms.  I went through all this only to find out that I couldn't even have kids and then had a procedure done to remove the lining of the uterus to stop the cycle (sometimes 3 times in a month).  It helped for two years and then came back.  I suffered (and so did my DH poor guy) from non-ending bouts of 2 weeks PMS, 1 week of "it" and a couple of days of peace and quiet before it started again.

3 and a half years ago I had a complete hysterectomy and woke up with instant menopause - the hot flashes literaly started when I woke up in my hospital room and didn't let up for 3 years, they are finally getting better, but I still get at least 2 a day.  The upside though is that my moods have totally calmed down and now, at almost 50 I feel like I did back before I was 20 and the nightmare started.  DH is much happier too!


----------



## quicksilver (May 28, 2008)

*      HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. HA!!!!!!!*
*Okay. I knew I had to check back here when I saw b.t.'s name on the list.*
*I'll give you cake. Or a pie in the face. Just too funny!*
* 

*


----------



## Mel! (May 28, 2008)

I wish my feet were warmer. I am temperature sensitive in the opposite direction to what you are Vera Blue. I am often too cold. 

Of course this generation will get old. On the outside anyway. Getting wrinkles and grey hair is traditional. 

Mel


----------



## LPBeier (May 28, 2008)

Constance said:


> By the time I had a hysterectomy, the fibroid was the size of a large cantaloupe. (The Dr. had a thing about fruit, I guess...we went from peach to orange to grapefruit to cantaloupe!)


 
My doctor was more sports minded.  My fibroid was a golf ball, then a baseball and finally a soccer ball when they took it out.  I am very glad we didn't make it to a beach ball!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## quicksilver (May 28, 2008)

_     LPBeier, when? I'm waiting 12 years! And patience isn't my middle name._


----------



## Fisher's Mom (May 28, 2008)

I feel bad for bt - I think he's feeling left out.

If you want, bt, you can start a thread about prostate issues as men age (and all the stuff that goes along with it) and we'll drop in and make "supportive" remarks!
Your Power-surging Pal, Terry


----------



## buckytom (May 28, 2008)

back up there, mrs. farenheit!

i'm not wearing flame retardant clothing! 

i need to get me some of that christmas tree spray.





unfortunately, i've heard it makes your prostate grow. 

ok, before vb gets mad at me, back to dry, fallen... err. back to fire prevention.


----------



## Alix (May 28, 2008)

Oh my gosh. You guys!! I am laughing so hard I have tears running down my face. BT I swear if you make one more teenager look at me like I'm nuts I'm coming to Joisey and giving you what for! Seriously though, too funny!!

Ladies, you have my sympathies and my fervent wish that all your symptoms will be shortlived.


----------



## VeraBlue (May 28, 2008)

Fisher's Mom said:


> You didn't mention crankiness, moodiness and weird spells of forgetfulness. If you haven't experienced those yet, get ready for them.



I wanted to mention that business about forgetfullness....but I forgot.

Actually, it's the words..  I forget words, and I don't mean rarely used words like antidisestablishmentarianism or anything like that.  I mean easy words, like butter and garage.  \

Did I ever tell you that I recently forgot how to extricate myself from my own car?  I've been driving Nissan Altimas for 5 years now.  This particular model I've had for just under 2 years.  About 6 months ago, after a short drive to...well, I don't remember where I was going, but when I got home, I looked at the door and couldn't remember how to get out.  The entire panel looked foreign to me.  It was as though I'd discovered myself in a Klingon bird of prey and the exit was cloaked.   Without a doubt, it freaked me out, especially since my boyfriend got out of the passenger side with ease.  

The whole incident was an absolute shame.


.............what was I saying????

And for anyone keeping track, May now has a circle.  Yeah ovaries, way to empty the nest.  C'mon seven, gimme lucky seven.


----------



## Fisher's Mom (May 28, 2008)

OMG Vera, that's hysterical! Mostly because the same type of things have been happening to me, but they weren't too funny when I thought I was the only one! The loss of words is so frustrating because it pops up at the most inconvenient times - like when I'm directing (read: yelling at) my kids. It's hard make them think I mean business when I can't remember what the heck I was trying to say (yell) at them! I really hope this goes away.

Like your car, there are times when suddenly I can't remember how to work a machine that I use all the time. It doesn't seem to last for long - maybe 30 seconds - but it's a really bizarre feeling. Your Klingon analogy really nails it.

Glad to hear you're another egg down! I'm scared to think how many I may have left - too depressing. (My theory is that I'm way behind since I spent 8 or 9 years pregnant. I'm 51 now. Do you think I could still be doing this til I'm 60?????)


----------



## VeraBlue (May 28, 2008)

See, Fisher'sMom, you post an interesting question.  What does happen to all those eggs who were next in the rotation while you're incubating the winner?

The way I understand it, a baby girl is born with a full house of ovaries, yes?  She'll pass one every 4 weeks till the nest is empty, yes?  So, if I wanted to guess how many I was born with, what..do I just multiply how many months have passed since I was 11, subtract the pregancies and then I'll know what I got when the egg fairy passed my cradle?

I have a better question....why does this kind of information even interest me?   Do you think my posing this question has inspired anyone to actually do the math???????

I'm going to go work out now...while I still have enough eggs left to help me lose weight.  To hear those other ladies tell it, you need a basket of eggs to help with weight loss.

(and for all of you who are trying to do the math, don't forget to take into allowance twins, both fraternal and identical you get a bonus if your twins were fraternal, and for god's sake, don't forget to count the leap years)


----------



## quicksilver (May 28, 2008)

*   Oh no!!!. I thought the stories I heard my mother tell a MILLION times were just her being a putzse.They're not heredity, they're gender related.*
*Keep that in mind, people.*
*DID I JUST SAY THAT AGAIN??? SORRY!*


----------



## expatgirl (May 28, 2008)

This thread is way to funny........and yes,  Vera, I'm going to be 54 in a few weeks and I still have pimples and wake up with a $200 barrel of oil on my face.  I'm very appealing to OPEC----but on the plus side I have no wrinkles or grey hair.  I had a cosmetologist do a skin test in my 30's----wash your face, have a skin test disc put on and wait 2 minutes.  Mine was saturated with oil.  She commented that she had never had a client with the amount of oil as I did after only 2 minutes.......no surprise there----cheer up she commented you'll probably not get wrinkles for a good while......as far as mentalpause is concerned you do lose your concentration-----hot flashes are just that----learned to take a shower and lie under the ceiling fan au naturelle----lots of baby powder.....DH was quite understanding about the mental illness that you go through, too.......mood swings .........to this day I can not read any stories about child abuse or killings..........just can't.......tears galore


----------



## quicksilver (May 28, 2008)

_   Okay ladys fess up. I see the same people here, and you know we know you're in the same boat._
_Give it up. We won't laugh..... Yes we will - sympatico though, promise!_


----------



## MexicoKaren (May 28, 2008)

Having navigated these treacherous waters, I think it is important to say that not everyone has the same symptoms - some better, some worse. I underwent an abrupt menopause at age 41 because I was having chemotherapy for breast cancer. D**m stuff killed my ovaries almost overnight. So I had the double joy of instant hot flashes and all the good stuff that goes along with chemo.  But I don't think I ever had alot of mood swings and depression and memory loss - HOW COULD I TELL? Once the chemo was over (9 months), I just felt so much better, plus I was just happy to be ALIVE. Still am. 1985 was a really cr***y year.


----------



## pdswife (May 28, 2008)

I think it's starting... I've thought it was starting for quite awhile.
Have the hot flashes ( I'll be fine one second and sweating like mad the next)
Nights sweats OH YEAH!  ( I need to cut holes in the blankets so my feet can hang out)
Mood swings.. ( just ask my poor hubby)
Forgetting things...( last week I couldn't talk or even remember what I wanted to say)
BUT... my FEMALE dr. says NO.... well then I have a fatal illness!


----------



## Barb L. (May 28, 2008)

Ok, all you youngin's, I will be 63 next month - ! Sounds horrid doesn't it! - just a number - lol, an OLD number.   All my change were, hot flashes - now hot feet, neck/head at night- !  No PMS !!!  not so bad for me - just a part of growing up !   Each person is so different, Mom had night sweats- me no -just flashes ! Now memory is the Pits !!  Simple words and names - bothers me a lot !  One time we were at the lake at our camper - couldn't remember - (flower pot) !!!  Ask hubby - what are those tomatoes in ?   I was so mad at myself- then felt so stupid - hate that the worst !!!!  lol, but haven't forgot it since !!!


----------



## babetoo (May 28, 2008)

had a hysterectomy at 27 years old. really bad fibroids on outside wall of uterus. they left the ovaries but they shut down pretty quickly. memory lapses were the worse things. moody and teary. got estrogen shots monthly and that seemed to do the trick. 

about five years later stopped the shots and no more symptoms. 

babe


----------



## LPBeier (May 28, 2008)

MexicoKaren said:


> Having navigated these treacherous waters, I think it is important to say that not everyone has the same symptoms - some better, some worse. I underwent an abrupt menopause at age 41 because I was having chemotherapy for breast cancer. D**m stuff killed my ovaries almost overnight. So I had the double joy of instant hot flashes and all the good stuff that goes along with chemo. But I don't think I ever had alot of mood swings and depression and memory loss - HOW COULD I TELL? Once the chemo was over (9 months), I just felt so much better, plus I was just happy to be ALIVE. Still am. 1985 was a really cr***y year.


 
I agree totally with you Karen about everyone having different circumstances.  

I suffered from incredible mood swings for most of my teen and adult life.  Then PMS hit at 20 as I mentioned before and things just spun out of control.  When I finally had the hysterectomy at 45 the doctors were concerned that either it would help the mood swings or make it that much worse.  I was put on an estrogen gel immediately and almost all my emotional ups and downs disappeared.  I have just recently weaned off of it after 4 years and other than still having hot flashes a couple of times a day I am still doing really well.


----------



## elaine l (May 28, 2008)

What cracks me up about this thread is way back when it was mentioned about hot feet.  Gosh, this year when I dug out my summer sandals (even though it was still chilly out) my feet were "moist" and sliding around.  I thought I was crazy having such "hot" feet.  Hehehe.  I am not alone!  Yeah.


----------



## jpmcgrew (May 28, 2008)

elaine l said:


> What cracks me up about this thread is way back when it was mentioned about hot feet. Gosh, this year when I dug out my summer sandals (even though it was still chilly out) my feet were "moist" and sliding around. I thought I was crazy having such "hot" feet. Hehehe. I am not alone! Yeah.


Never had sweaty feet until I was about 40 I'm 50 now I hate it don't know why it started then but my feet will sweat in shoes or flip flops even when it's cold. I really hate that. As I said my monthly stopped visiting all together about 3 months ago I have no symptoms yet. So my question when doe's one possibly expect such unpleasantness is it usually right away or is it a bit delayed once once one ceases to get their monthly expectations? I got it in my mind that I'm going to sail right thru with not to much trouble as I did with never really having cramps. So feel free to destroy my fantasy. I rather be prepared mentally than just go into shock. And to think I hated the visits and never wanted them but now that they seem to be gone I now know I am getting older and things are going to change. I will never age mentally I still think like a young person and intend to stay that way.


----------



## VeraBlue (May 28, 2008)

I've discovered several cures for the hot feet symptom.  During the week, when I'm alone here, I've taken to sitting on the edge of the tub (I do this right before bed) and turning the faucet on, cold water only.  I then let it simply cascade over my feet.  I do this till they are cold, which can take anywhere from 3 minutes or 3 hours.  Seriously, it takes a couple of minutes.

My favourite is a a method that requires the love and tenderness of someone who can safely get in the same room with you.  That's the ice bath treatment.  Fill a bowl with ice cubes and a a bit of cold water.  Soak a wash cloth in the bowl and then wrap it around your foot.  It usually only takes a minute or two before the cloth no longer feels cool.  Dip it back in the bowl and rewrap, alternate feet.   This is especially helpful after an afternoon of shopping the blues away in a pair of unsensible shoes, too.   It's so much more effective when someone you love does the wrapping and soaking.

Finally, a more drastic measure is to hack off the foot at the ankle and place it in the freezer.  I recommend ziploc type storage bags so as not to incur cross contamination with your chickens and other assorted food products.  Also, as with anything else from the freezer, please don't defrost on the counter and definitely do not refreeze without cooking first.


Hey....how many of you have a single weird and lone hair growing somewhere facial???   Hmmm??  How many??


----------



## MexicoKaren (May 28, 2008)

LOL-I always sleep with at least one foot hanging out of the covers no matter how cold it is! jpmcgrew, you might sail right through - some women do! I really hope you are one of them. Hey, it's just the introduction to the next part of your life - and trust me on this - it's a good one. No kids at home, no job to go to, no alarm to set every night.  Just enjoy.




> Hey....how many of you have a single weird and lone hair growing somewhere facial???   Hmmm??  How many??



Oh Vera, it started with ONE hair growing out of a mole on my cheek (I always fancied it a beauty mark) and now there are about FIVE very bristly hairs growing there. I chop them off as soon as I see them. Oh - and my daughter bought me a nose hair clipper. Do you think she is trying to tell me something?


----------



## jpmcgrew (May 28, 2008)

MexicoKaren said:


> LOL-I always sleep with at least one foot hanging out of the covers no matter how cold it is! jpmcgrew, you might sail right through - some women do! I really hope you are one of them. Hey, it's just the introduction to the next part of your life - and trust me on this - it's a good one. No kids at home, no job to go to, no alarm to set every night. Just enjoy.


Thanks MK, I guess I will find out sooner or later. The funny thing is ever since I was about sixteen it seemed I would get over heated and sweaty for no good reason not on a regular basis but just every few weeks or so. It comes over me like a wave for about five to ten minutes then go away.


----------



## jpmcgrew (May 28, 2008)

The black hair is a curse for sure it's my chin that seems to get them I use tweezers. I swear some can grow a 1/2 inch overnight. That is one thing I could definately do with out. WOW! I can just imagine all the guys reading this thread. Oh well they probabley need the education. I'm sure they have their own problems as well. I HOPE SO. If not than it's just plain not fair


----------



## MexicoKaren (May 28, 2008)

jp - have you ever had your thyroid tested? My daughter has thyroid problems and has hot flashes, hairs growing out of her chin, etc. Only 39.


----------



## Fisher's Mom (May 28, 2008)

I _love_ this discussion!!! I have no sisters but this feels like how sisters would talk about these things. It must be true - we really _are_ all sisters under the skin!

The hot feet thing doesn't really bother me much. It's happening, but since I am barefoot 90% of the time, it's not too bad. I do stick them in a bowl of cold water from time to time and it feels heavenly. But my real issue with my feet is that suddenly, I have dry, cracked heels and rough dry soles. I've _never_ had this before. I have very nice feet (I think) since they have rarely been subjected to shoes (barefoot and pregnant most of my life) so this is irritating. I spend a fair amount of time with those "sanding" things and applying oils and creams to keep them looking OK. Is this happening to any of you?

I get the odd stray facial hair, too, which I promptly tweeze out. But if it gets any worse, I'm gonna kill them with laser treatments! I remember being scared at a very young age of my great grandmother because she had a very creepy bristle on her chin - now I have a horror of scaring small children with unwanted facial hair. 

Oh and BTW, how many of you can actually see these facial hairs without benefit of some serious reading glasses? Or a 10x mirror?


----------



## LPBeier (May 28, 2008)

Fisher's Mom said:


> I get the odd stray facial hair, too, which I promptly tweeze out. But if it gets any worse, I'm gonna kill them with laser treatments! I remember being scared at a very young age of my great grandmother because she had a very creepy bristle on her chin - now I have a horror of scaring small children with unwanted facial hair.


 
I now also have some thick hairs growing on my face from two moles. It is usually just two or three and I pluck them on a regular basis. However, ever since puberty I have had some "peach fuzz growing above my upper lip. I was mortified in Grade 10 when I was in the school office running the school newspaper off on the guestetner machine (no photocopiers in those days) and the principal of all people walked by me and said "is that a moustache I see?" My self-esteem was low in those days but that just put me at rock bottom. I borrowed my sister's leg shaver when I got home and tried to shave it off but of course it came back thicker. A friend suggested bleaching it and finally I resorted to going and getting it, and my thick eyebrows (almost just one) waxed every 3 weeks. 

Now, I don't worry so much, except the most pronounced hairs.


----------



## jpmcgrew (May 28, 2008)

MexicoKaren said:


> jp - have you ever had your thyroid tested? My daughter has thyroid problems and has hot flashes, hairs growing out of her chin, etc. Only 39.


 No test the little hairs started about 7-8 years ago I think the hot moments are just a natural thing as I am very warm natured anyway. I'm the type that can take a great amount of cold and enjoy it while other people complain about it. I really like the temp outside to be around 55 degrees as long as there is no wind and a lot of sun. High humidity cold is not as comfortable. But you are right it might be worth a test. I do not feel bad at all and sleep really well. I also like to stick my feet out of the comforter until it gets really cold.


----------



## Fisher's Mom (May 28, 2008)

I had my thyroid tested a couple of months ago to see if that was causing some of these symptoms since I'm still getting "it" every month. (I think I was _actually hoping_ all this was a sluggish thyroid.) But nope, all those levels were fine.


----------



## expatgirl (May 28, 2008)

well, my perfect sister-in-law according to her had NO symptoms---one day she woke up and had finished "all this business.........ah-----to be perfect....meowwwwwwww


----------



## Fisher's Mom (May 28, 2008)

LPBeier said:


> I now also have some thick hairs growing on my face from two moles. It is usually just two or three and I pluck them on a regular basis. However, ever since puberty I have had some "peach fuzz growing above my upper lip. I was mortified in Grade 10 when I was in the school office running the school newspaper off on the guestetner machine (no photocopiers in those days) and the principal of all people walked by me and said "is that a moustache I see?" My self-esteem was low in those days but that just put me at rock bottom. I borrowed my sister's leg shaver when I got home and tried to shave it off but of course it came back thicker. A friend suggested bleaching it and finally I resorted to going and getting it, and my thick eyebrows (almost just one) waxed every 3 weeks.
> 
> Now, I don't worry so much, except the most pronounced hairs.


You know, some educators really don't have a clue!!! What a crappy thing to say to a young lady! It made me cringe just reading it. I remember being sooo self-conscious once I hit puberty and was horrified that I had dark hair on my forearms. I didn't know that we all have hair on our arms and if you have dark hair on your head, it'll be dark on your arms. I think I wore long sleeves for about 2 years straight!


----------



## jpmcgrew (May 28, 2008)

All I know is I will not mess around with HRT ( hormone replacement therapy) I will take my knocks as they come and try some natural methods as well if I need to. Yes I am in denial so far since there are no problems and if there are I will search the web for every possible alternative as I do not believe the doctors have all the answers in many areas of health.


----------



## expatgirl (May 28, 2008)

No doctors do not have all the answers...they don't have the time to......this is why the consumer needs to be proactive........got really tired of paying big bucks to handle interstitial cystitis----even the urologist was impressed that I had diagnosed it (well I didn't---a great doctor in Egypt did but that's not what he called it........anyway after enduring a month of unrelenting pain I went online and after much research found something that helped me......also it's aggravated by travel......so I now overnight in Frankfurt. on the way back to the states... luckily I have not had a flareup in over 5 years...it definitely flared up during menopause


----------



## LPBeier (May 28, 2008)

jpmcgrew said:


> All I know is I will not mess around with HRT ( hormone replacement therapy) I will take my knocks as they come and try some natural methods as well if I need to. Yes I am in denial so far since there are no problems and if there are I will search the web for every possible alternative as I do not believe the doctors have all the answers in many areas of health.


 
The hormone gel I used is actually naturally sourced Estrogen.  I had to go on it because of other conditions I had, and I told the doctor that if I was going to do HRT, it had to be as natural as possible.  I used it for close to four years with no adverse affects.


----------



## MexicoKaren (May 28, 2008)

> I _love_ this discussion!!! I have no sisters but this feels like how sisters would talk about these things. It must be true - we really _are_ all sisters under the skin!


Fisher's Mom - You are so right. Aren't we lucky? Thank you, Al Gore, for inventing the internet! (Just kidding)


----------



## Fisher's Mom (May 28, 2008)

MexicoKaren said:


> Fisher's Mom - You are so right. Aren't we lucky? Thank you, Al Gore, for inventing the internet! (Just kidding)


 (Hey, I wonder how many hits this thread will get when someone Googles Al Gore?)


----------



## NAchef (May 29, 2008)

A man just checking in.


I will leave before I get killed!!!!

Thanks


----------



## expatgirl (May 29, 2008)

NAchef said:


> A man just checking in.
> 
> 
> I will leave before I get killed!!!!
> ...



hit the road, Jack...........hehehe!!!


----------



## quicksilver (May 29, 2008)

_     NAchef, if you're going to leave, come back with some ice, will ya please.  Thank you._


----------



## elaine l (May 29, 2008)

For many years my yearly check up asked the usual questions.  I knew I was old when before I knew it the questions changed.  Like did I have a problem with incontinence when I cough or sneeze?  Should I?  Gee whiz.  

Yes I hang my legs out,in,out,in,out,in.


----------



## VeraBlue (May 29, 2008)

elaine l said:


> For many years my yearly check up asked the usual questions.  I knew I was old when before I knew it the questions changed.  Like did I have a problem with incontinence when I cough or sneeze?  Should I?  Gee whiz.
> 
> Yes I hang my legs out,in,out,in,out,in.




Surely I'm not the only woman here who crosses her legs when she sneezes or coughs...


----------



## texasgirl (May 29, 2008)

Women in mine start at 40. LOL Maybe that is why I have gained all this weight, my bp is rediculous, today, my feet and up to my knees are so swollen, I have cankles and if you push, there will be an indention for about 2 minutes. I now stay gripey, dh calls it something else. LOL
And the sneezes REALLY get me sometimes!! What is up with THAT??


----------



## Fisher's Mom (May 30, 2008)

VeraBlue said:


> Surely I'm not the only woman here who crosses her legs when she sneezes or coughs...


Depends.....
(Sorry, I couldn't help myself.)


----------



## texasgirl (May 30, 2008)

Fisher's Mom said:


> Depends.....
> (Sorry, I couldn't help myself.)


 

uuuugggghhhhh


----------



## buckytom (May 31, 2008)

Fisher's Mom said:


> I feel bad for bt - I think he's feeling left out.
> 
> If you want, bt, you can start a thread about prostate issues as men age (and all the stuff that goes along with it) and we'll drop in and make "supportive" remarks!
> Your Power-surging Pal, Terry


 

aww, i new it would happen, someday: http://www.discusscooking.com/forums/f10/new-baking-cake-not-rising-46677.html


----------



## expatgirl (May 31, 2008)

texasgirl said:


> Women in mine start at 40. LOL Maybe that is why I have gained all this weight, my bp is rediculous, today, my feet and up to my knees are so swollen, I have cankles and if you push, there will be an indention for about 2 minutes. I now stay gripey, dh calls it something else. LOL
> And the sneezes  REALLY get me sometimes!! What is up with THAT??


what are cankles----I feel for you on everything else.......and yes, Vera Blue.....crossing your legs upon sneezing and coughing is  a given...but I love the commercials that promise you worst side effects than you want to deal with........nope......don't think so........will deal with crossing my legs.....works just as well without giving me anal leakage.........etc.....


----------



## quicksilver (May 31, 2008)

*     Expat, if you gotta ask what a cankle is, your problems ain't as bad as you thought!*
*     JUST KIDDING!*

*I bet Buckytom could figure this one out, from his extensive research, not hands on, of course, but enough to at least lead us in the right direction.*

*What say you, buckytom?*


----------



## buckytom (May 31, 2008)

of course i know what cankles are. 

calves so thick they go straight down into your feet. the area of the lower calf is called a cankle. 

if they are grabbed on occasion, men usually don't have anything bad to say about them. 

(hey, yous guys were talking about peeing, so don't tell _me_ i'm dragging the conversation down...)


----------



## expatgirl (May 31, 2008)

hahaha!!!!!  No clue, seriously......maybe I've been in outer Sibirea too long.......


----------



## jpmcgrew (May 31, 2008)

Cankles AKA bed post legs


----------



## expatgirl (May 31, 2008)

Siberia...


----------



## jpmcgrew (May 31, 2008)

expatgirl said:


> Siberia...


 Siberia, probably a really nice place to be when one is having hot flashes


----------



## expatgirl (May 31, 2008)

quicksilver said:


> *     Expat, if you gotta ask what a cankle is, your problems ain't as bad as you thought!*
> *     JUST KIDDING!*
> 
> *I bet Buckytom could figure this one out, from his extensive research, not hands on, of course, but enough to at least lead us in the right direction.*
> ...



thanks, I think, quicksilver, I don't have THAT problem, maybe that's why I've never been teased about it......hahaha...ignorance is bliss, I hear


----------



## NAchef (May 31, 2008)

Stopping back to try and calm the women down so us men can have a good day.   

Here is some flowers for all the times us men have got on your nerves.


----------



## expatgirl (May 31, 2008)

oh, the yellow roses of TEXAS.....what a charmer you are... La........ and such a pretty picture.....ok.....my horrormones have settled down.......hope you feel safer now.....


----------



## expatgirl (May 31, 2008)

jpmcgrew said:


> Siberia, probably a really nice place to be when one is having hot flashes



oh, my, going out on a freezing balcony is NIRVANA.........my husband helps out.........no complaints whatsoever.....


----------



## expatgirl (May 31, 2008)

Sorry, I meant NA-----my  failing eyesight is scaring me........I've got an apptmt. for next week---please I apologise


----------



## quicksilver (May 31, 2008)

_   How gorgeous! Thanks for thinking of us NAchef_

_Now, could you get me another glass of iced coffee while you're up.  Ha, ha,ha._

_no, seriously, thank you._


----------



## VeraBlue (May 31, 2008)

So, I finally put a circle in the month of May..on the 28th.  It officially ended on Friday, which was only the 30th.  
Now, don't get me wrong, it's not like I want this to hang around for 4-5 days, like it used to.  
But, if it's going to bother to make an appearance, you'd think it would at least make an effort to be normal, wouldn't you???  This was hardly worth the trouble, I say.
This particular egg must have been so shriveled and pathetic that the other old lady eggs that are still clinging to the ovary walls must have been screaming for her to jump.   She was definitely voted off the island.

Who's next?


----------



## LPBeier (May 31, 2008)

Okay, NAChef, you WOULD have to bring up my flower allergy while I am laughing so hard I can't keep my legs crossed tight enough and my hands are too busy to wipe my eyes and nose because they are fanning me from the hot flashes!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

BTW ladies, mine would probably be called "thankles" because my legs often swell as big as my thighs!!!!!!!!!!!!! No I am not exagerating!


----------



## expatgirl (May 31, 2008)

my word.......girls........I do feel for you...........really I do..........I jiust thank the good lord for the balconies..........cause I wouldn't function otherwise........


----------



## MexicoKaren (May 31, 2008)

And here in the tropics there are NO cooling balconies............it is just WARM.


----------



## VeraBlue (May 31, 2008)

Karen, I would suggest that you leave a wet nighty in the freezer...and then, when it happens ...put the frozen nighty on.


----------



## amber (May 31, 2008)

Vera, I found this thread hilarious on many levels.  I love it!  You had me cracking up, I can relate to most everything you said.  You have a way with words.


----------



## Katie H (May 31, 2008)

I posted earlier and, now, I have to say that I'm soooooo happy being on the "other side" of things.  I'm still on minor HRT. Was reduced last September.

I've read so many posts and was surprised to see so much of the "I don't remember" part.  I never experienced that.  However, I may chalk that up to having to take Aricept (an Alzheimer's drug) for memory after a serious vehicle accident, which  was during my "change."

No more hot flashes, mood swings, swellings, etc.  Life is good.  I wish all the rest of you the same lovely life.


----------



## MexicoKaren (May 31, 2008)

> Karen, I would suggest that you leave a wet nighty in the freezer...and then, when it happens ...put the frozen nighty on.



OMG, what a great idea! Guess this means I'll have to go out and buy a nighty....


----------



## NAchef (Jun 1, 2008)

Ok so now this is the wife~and all I have to say is make your doctors give you a HYSTERECTOMY my life is beautiful now and I dont want to kill my husband anymore!

I am 31 and I had problems like cervical displayisa (pre cancer) when I was 22. Following my first child~I got rid of it thank god but the problems didnt seem to get any better. I then got endometrosis and life became hell every month. I would be down in bed at least the first two days of my cycle(and it came when ever the hell it wanted) sometimes 2 times a month! I had to have laproscopy surgery 4 times to go in and burn the scare tissue off the ovaries. My doctor told me 3 years ago I would only have my one child that was 7 (girl) at the time and I was ok with that but since I was so young they told me I needed to try the laproscopy at least one more time! I did what they wanted and a month later what do you know I was pregnant! 

I had a boy this time and that the doctor said that I should be good now and no more issues with the endo! Well suprise suprise I got really sick about 6 months after having him all over again. So this time I demanded I get the hysterectomy. 

I am really lucky in the part that I dont have to deal with the cycle anymore however, this hot flash crap sucks! Recently I was a my daughters dance recital and I started to have a hot flash! I told my sister, sitting next to me, that I was having a hot flash and, the lady in front of us turned around and started to laugh! She told me I was crazy and that I was too young to have those, she must not have known what it was like to have them!

But on a good note if you have thought about the hysterectomy, get it done cause life really is alot better, ask my husband he will agree!  

I will make sure he stocks us up on the ice for all us ladies!


----------



## expatgirl (Jun 1, 2008)

haha.......NAchef......do I ever feel for you.....had cervical dyplasia diagnosed at age 32 when my daugher was born.......sorta a shock ............doctor was like don't worry about it---taken care of but not much fun.......please, Girls, have a checkup including a Pap and a mammo once a year....... even a mammo if you have no history of breast cancer in your family after age 30--my mother died of bc at aged 30 and diagnosed when she was 27---no history of breast cancer whatsoever.........I know, they say after age 40----trust me, the rays are  really low these days...and if your insurance will cover it go for it.........


----------



## expatgirl (Jun 1, 2008)

I hope that I haven't been a thread killer here............


----------



## Katie H (Jun 1, 2008)

MexicoKaren said:


> OMG, what a great idea! Guess this means I'll have to go out and buy a nighty....


----------



## kadesma (Jun 1, 2008)

MexicoKaren said:


> OMG, what a great idea! Guess this means I'll have to go out and buy a nighty....


JUst saw this Karen forget buying a nightie, grab on of DH's t-shirts and a pair of shorts and do the same thing,,,works great for daytime
nighttime is another bag of worms 
kades


----------



## middie (Jun 1, 2008)

Gee so this is all the fun I have to look forward too huh ?


----------



## MexicoKaren (Jun 1, 2008)

Kades, in the winter, I do wear a t-shirt, sometimes even shorts. Summer - _mucho calor_ for wearing anything!


----------



## suziquzie (Jun 1, 2008)

Yup Middie, you and me both. 

I had dysplasia diagnosed when I was ready to start trying for kid  #2 when I was 27 I think... had a leep and had to wait a year after that before trying..... thats why my 1st 2 kids are 4 years apart we wanted them more like 2 years apart. Tried again right away for a girl, I miscarried but then 2 mo later got preg with the infamous LEGO GIRL! Got our girl and had myself tied up. 

Have had clear paps since but I have to be paranoid about it forever.  My great Gramma died of cervical cancer. 

Anyway I woke up last night SWEARING I was having a hot flash I felt like I was going to melt DH! Please tell me I;m too young to be starting to start!


----------



## expatgirl (Jun 2, 2008)

fingers crossed for you, SQ........had a friend who had gone thru full menopause at aged 35......even her Gyn didn't believe it so did a horrormone test and yep it was verified...reason why she had 2 miscarriages....


----------

