# Participation



## *amy* (Aug 19, 2007)

Well, this isn't a Forum Help or ideas thread, but a topic for discussion or 'food for thought'.

First, this site has much to offer - sharing recipes, jokes, personal life experiences, birthday wishes, pms, photos & on and on. There is no other site that I have seen that offers as much as DC does. Kudos to everyone that keeps this site working & on-line every day, for those who choose to be a member.

IMHO, the success is also, due in large part, to member's participation. (Please bear in mind, I am not criticising anyone or making any attempts to 'voice' how the site should be run). 

I see many (some long-time members) logged in on a daily basis, but don't see responses/replys to fellow members' birthdays, welcomes, (sometimes I may miss a few, myself), shared recipes, jokes, etc. Some members never participate in welcomes or Happy B-days. (I, myself, am personally drawn right to the food, but that's just me.) Why not take the time to post a reply to the members already here that share their time? 

I've noticed when a post gets zero replys (recipes, jokes - whatever), the thread dies and it is discouraging for any poster/member. I love seeing new members, even if it's one post to aska question -- but how's about a little more active participation from members already here 24/7 or otherwise.

Karma IS another great feature. It shows appreciation for a post etc. I have never been opposed to that - in fact I'm all for it - keep it coming. What keeps the Board jumping (imo), is when members post an interest/reply *on the Board *- so others may want to join in a discussion -- even if it's a 'that looks nice, or 'I may give it a try' or 'that made me laugh' or 'Thank you' kind of response.

I think it is 'safe' to say, not everyone is everyone's cup o' tea - that's life. but the draw to this site, for me, is about food and levity and hopefully making new friendships. There are disagreements or different points of view that can become passionate from time to time. But isn't the overall purpose here to share & exchange with fellow members. Thanks for allowing me to express my point of view.


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## Alix (Aug 19, 2007)

Well said Amy. It seems like you put a lot of thought into this post.


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## VeraBlue (Aug 19, 2007)

It's hard to wish birthday salutations to someone you've never corresponded with.  Equally, it's hard to say 'great job' when someone posts something their kid did if you've never corresponded with that person.  I also won't publicly wish anyone well any longer when someone is looking for 'prayers'.  Not being a 'pray-er' I did offer someone my most heart felt and sincere good wishes and actually got red karma from two moderators who didn't understand my post.  That kind of thing will keep a person from reaching out ever again.

As for the recipes..well, that's another tough one.  I can read a recipe that is posted here, but does that mean I have to respond to it?  What if I don't care for the recipe?  Surely you wouldn't want me to post that?  What if I was to say that I just saw that recipe posted in last month's food magazine?  Sometimes, it's better to keep some thing to yourself.

Like any discussion board, people form virtual friendships here.  They also notice when someone talks out their a** most of the time.  My personal way of navigating this board is to pick and choose what is important to me, and respond to that/them.    The thing about cooking is that are very few ways to actually cook wrong.  You can cook poorly, but that doesn't make it wrong.  If you like it, and your family eats it...and you like to talk about it, this is the place for you!   There are as many personalities and characteristics here as there are apple varieties, potato varieties, tomato varieties, melon varieties and squash varieties, combined.


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## Fisher's Mom (Aug 19, 2007)

I definitely see VeraBlue's point. I was undecided about posting welcomes to new members because most of the time, even though I'm logged on, I am not actually at my computer except for brief snatches of time. If I felt an obligation to welcome every new member, I would have no time to learn things. Also, if I posted welcomes for some and not others, would that be seen as selective? I finally decided that on the days I have extra time and I'm not actively trying to learn something new, I will welcome a new member and hope that is OK. (Also, some of the new posts look to me to be kind of an advertising thing. Not the majority, by any means).

I will respond to a thread started by a new member if it's something I want to know, too. At least they won't feel like they are the only one who has a question. But there are very few questions I am qualified to answer. The few queries I felt like I could offer any help with, I tried to. But I would hate to steer someone wrong.

The birthday thing - I feel like VeraBlue does. It's very difficult for me to wish someone Happy Birthday when I don't know them at all and they don't know me. Not that I think it's a bad thing and I'm sure lots of DCers like it a lot. But I probably wouldn't do it unless it was someone I had had some on going interaction with here or I would feel weird. For me, it feels like when I get birthday cards from all sorts of businesses every year.

I think this thread and some other ones like it might best serve DC as a gentle reminder that any community grows and thrives on "new blood" in order to remain fresh and vital and interesting to everyone. If everyone makes a little extra effort to encourage newcomers in whatever way they feel comfortable and have time for at that moment, maybe that would address the concerns of the authors of these threads. Or maybe my take is completely wrong - that happens a lot! lol

Terry


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## jpmcgrew (Aug 19, 2007)

I do my best to post but I also may not have much to add to some posts as for birthdays Im guilty of not offering greetings but to the people I know but so many come up and they really have not made any posts etc for me to even know them a little.Other posts have been done over so many times like how to boil an egg and that is fine because new people have questions and DC will always respond there are so many answers by others I just plain dont have anything to add. I think if people want a responce they need to start posting.Ive been here a long time and used to get dissapointed alot because I didnt get alot of responce I felt like I was trying to get in a clique (its so not that way)then I learned to jump in and put my 2 cents worth in everything I was interested in, the more your name comes up and the more posts you make the more you get back. 
Amy,I noticed you jumped in from the beginning with no problem.
That why I posted the open invitation post to get people to come on out and have some fun with us.
And now it will be a little harder with so many new members but I think my little brain can retain more names but people need to show up and post for me to know them.


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## Katie H (Aug 19, 2007)

Fisher's Mom said:


> (Also, some of the new posts look to me to be kind of an advertising thing. Not the majority, by any means).
> Terry



Terry, you've touched on an area that Admins and Mods see a lot of.  We (most) always have our radar out and try to clear the "sellers" from DC.  It's a tricky process and, occasionally, we might miss one.  Advertising is something that is not acceptable here and we do our best to keep it that way.

When it comes to greeting members, I usually review their profile in addition to reading their intro.  That way I try to "customize" my greeting to fit them.


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## GB (Aug 19, 2007)

I think the general idea is that we are all different people and those differences should be embraced. Just because one person thinks it is great to welcome everyone and wish everyone a happy birthday does not mean that the next person will feel the same way. Both of these people can be right. 

Amy, if you want to welcome people and wish happy birthdays then that is an absolutely wonderful thing and by all means keep doing it. People who get those messages from you love it I am sure.

Vera, Terry, and others who, for whatever reason do not want or do not feel comfortable doing the same, don't. And don't feel bad about either. There is nothing wrong with the way you feel. 

Each person here is different and what is right for one is not right for everyone. Diversity is a good thing and we need to remember that.


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## Fisher's Mom (Aug 19, 2007)

Katie E said:


> Terry, you've touched on an area that Admins and Mods see a lot of.  We (most) always have our radar out and try to clear the "sellers" from DC.  It's a tricky process and, occasionally, we might miss one.  Advertising is something that is not acceptable here and we do our best to keep it that way.
> 
> When it comes to greeting members, I usually review their profile in addition to reading their intro.  That way I try to "customize" my greeting to fit them.


Yep, I know ya'll are really up on this. I rarely see more than one post from a new member that looks like a seller - either they stop with the ads (I'm sure with a little nudge from ya'll) or they disappear. But sometimes it's not completely clear if the new member is a seller or if they just don't know what's acceptable. I notice ya'll respond quickly to that and then keep a close watch. I certainly appreciate your vigilance on this type of thing Katie.


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## *amy* (Aug 19, 2007)

Birthdays and Welcomes were only two examples re participation. I do see some of your points. I think most of you get the gist of what I am saying. Sometimes many people join at the same time, so it's tedious or I may not have the time to address every one. Again, it's not 'all' about welcomes and birthdays.  (Although, I hope we can omit our birthday year, now that the site has been updated )


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## bullseye (Aug 19, 2007)

Advertisers and spammers aside, I think it is important for all of us to make an effort to encourage new users.  Yes, we do often see the same questions over and over again, but it is possible to point out a link to a thread or suggest the search feature.  I have noticed several times Katie E's extra effort in extracting info from the UP.  (Katie, I'd have karma'ed you, but apparently I did so recently--the site said "no.")  New users are the lifeblood of any site like this--no matter how much you know, someone will come up with a question to which you didn't even know you wanted the answer.  I know I have been remiss in this regard, often feeling I had nothing to offer; I do, however, have a good idea how the site works and where better info than I have can be found.  This, in itself, can be useful.


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## jpmcgrew (Aug 19, 2007)

The bottom line still is just jump on in I see new people introducing them selves if they get a few welcomes I just dont feel like I hafto add on, if not I try to extend a welcome.After all this is not kindergarten so I dont think anyone should be offended just they did not get the welcome they expect does not mean you are not welcome it just means with so much going on you just might be missed.Even so get in here we need the new people so just ask  or say any thing food related or fun related.


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## keltin (Aug 19, 2007)

Seems to be a lot of threads like this here lately. One thing I’d like to contribute is that some new users may feel unwelcome by some of the responses they receive. I’ve seen some users questioned about their use of language and how they type! Sure, we all want to see well written and articulate posts, but this isn’t English class, it’s the internet and a public forum. No sense in trying to school a new user, especially when that type of typing is popular all over the net and on mobile devices where time is of the essence. 

I’ve seen new users post a recipe that they obviously like, and are probably proud to be sharing and thus contributing to DC, only to be greeted with “that’s pretty good, but I’d change this and this”, or “not too bad, but I’d take out this and add this”. In the worst case scenarios, there are responses of “are you serious, is this a joke” and “you’d be better off throwing away all those ingredients and using the chicken for such and such”. Granted, in those worse case scenarios, the recipes are a bit unwieldy (like use 2 cups of mayonnaise!). True, the recipe sounds a bit out there to people with some cooking time under their belt, but the poster may honestly like the recipe. They may be proud of it.

To have someone come in and criticize (and to suggest a change is a form of criticism) something you’re proud of and that you think tastes good, no matter how minor, can be a turn off. If the posters ASKS for hints on tuning the recipe up or changing it, then yeah, by all means say “I’d drop this and add that”, but if they don’t ask for that, then why say it. I’m sure some would say that they are simply trying to guide and educate the new user….but the user didn’t ask for that. They just tried to share and they ended up getting responses that their idea of good cooking is “less than” and should be changed…….but what if the suggested changes aren’t in line with the user’s tastes?

If someone doesn’t specifically ask how can I change this recipe, then why go out of your way to tell them that it needs to be changed. That can be rather traumatic for a new poster. You can either say nothing at all or say thanks for sharing. If you’re feeling generous, you can say I might try this sometime. If you really want to help, you can ask “do you make it this way all the time”, and “this sounds good, but I don’t have that much mayo, how do you think it would taste if I sub this”. This way, you come across as someone generally engaging them in conversation which in turn challenges them to think about the recipe so that they can respond…..this is far better than saying “that’s ok, but I’d change this”. 

The other day I saw a recipe that called for a cup, a full cup, of sour cream. This wasn’t a big recipe and I thought a cup was way over the top. That amount of fat that a cup would have added was insane, but I didn’t say anything even though I thought the sour cream should have been cut down and replaced with a different liquid. What was the point in me saying “that’s a bit much on the fat there, how about using this instead to make it a bit more healthy and light”. There was no point in me saying that since the user liked their recipe as it was. It wasn’t for me, so I closed that thread and moved on. Alt+F4 is a powerful way to mark a thread as one you don’t care for, and it doesn’t put anyone off in doing so.

As for giving information that may be incorrect, then sure, you should correct them (if you’re positive you are right and can prove it), but there is no need to be matter of fact and state tersely that ”you’re wrong”. If you’re going to correct another, then I think there should be more to the conversation than a short "that’s wrong" response. The user will never learn if you don’t challenge them to think about what it is that is in question. 

And that is my two cents.


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## GB (Aug 19, 2007)

In answer to your questions keltin, I think the easiest and quickest way to say it is look at the name of the site. It is _Discuss_ Cooking. What that means to most people is that if someone posts a recipe then it will be discussed. That means saying what you like or dislike, what you would change, what you would keep the same, etc.


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## keltin (Aug 19, 2007)

I agree, it is a discussion, but since this topic was about why do new users pop in, posts once and disappear, this is my take on it. And a discussion can be much more than “change this and it will be good”. A true discussion could be engaging where you ask “do you think I could sub this instead”….that would challenge the user to think and develop a true discussion rather than sit there and take the criticism. 

True, it’s not the sites job to “raise” a new cook and hold their hand….but in real life, when we really care about helping another, let’s say our children or someone young and close to us, we often teach by asking questions such as “how many apples are on the table…..and how many apples fit in that basket”. This approach challenges the person to think for a bit and is far better than saying no you’re wrong, three apples go over there leaving us two apples. There is no teaching, learning, or discussing in that form.


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## GB (Aug 19, 2007)

This is not a site called Teach Cooking though keltin. I hear what you are saying, but it does not mean that what others are doing is incorrect.


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## kitchenelf (Aug 19, 2007)

This whole subject comes up every couple years.  And yes, this seems to be on the heels of another thread.  The time we have to devote to the site for each and every one of us is a very personal issue.  While I may be logged on I may not be here.  It's tough at best.  There is no answer for everyone to follow.  I've greeted/said Happy Birthday to some and not greeted/said Happy Birthday to others and have been accused of playing favorites and catering to "friends" when in reality I don't know any of these people.  I only have so much time to be here and believe it or not, we have certain duties behind the scenes that need to be done.  Some days it's not so bad; other days it's all you can do keep up with it.  It's a Catch 22 - period.  By the time you read all the new posts to make sure people are "playing nice" it's time to go do something else away from the computer.


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## Katie H (Aug 19, 2007)

Another view of the "one post wonder" person is that there are a number of people who post the first time and lose or forget their password and never return.  I've been guilty ot that on other boards.  These members are all sexes and all ages and account for a portion of the *one *posters.

As for the "add this or change that" part of our responses, it's a natural thing to see a recipe and respond based on our own experiences.  We want to share in our tasty successes.  In my case, it's almost an involuntary reaction and I'm probably not alone doing this.  As a result, we often reply to a poster's recipe with our own "take" on it.  And, as someone already pointed out, it's all part of _Discuss_Cooking.


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## Dave Hutchins (Aug 19, 2007)

It does not hurt any body to be nice==HB so what it might make some ones day ??every body needs a few smiles now and then..


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## kitchenelf (Aug 19, 2007)

In case some people don't know - Discuss Cooking sends out a personal Happy Birthday e-mail to every person who has posted their birth date.  I think it really shocks a lot of people - we get some nice feedback from that!


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## keltin (Aug 19, 2007)

Sure, as I have agreed, it is part of the Discussing. We type these posts, perhaps re-read them and then submit. Plenty of time for thought on courteousy, so it’s not a knee jerk reaction. In real life, you’re liable to blurt something before you can type it, but in typing, there is plenty of time to consider what you are “saying”.

This site has password and username recovery, so any user that really wanted to come back could even if they forgot their password and username.

The only thing I was bringing up, and no need for anyone to be thin skinned here, is that while the regulars have been here for a while and are familiar with each other and their posting style and sense of humor, the 800 or new guests or users that come by everyday aren’t. If I were paying for a cooking class and the teacher just said you’re wrong, I’d feel cheated. 

But this is a free public site, and as you say, no one is here to teach someone to cook right. So I guess it’s fine to say “you’re wrong”. Either the person will ask why, or they will leave. Tough love….but no need to be surprised WHY some new users never participate or come back.


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## Andy M. (Aug 19, 2007)

If someone posts a recipe for our use, and does not ask for suggestions, I don't offer any.  The post was not made to collect change recommendations.  We've had members get upset when unsolicited suggestions are made.

On the other hand, if a member asks help in improving a recipe, they are opening the door wide.

I see lots of recipes I would not make.  I just don't respond.  On the other hand, if I like a recipe and copy it, I acknowledge that.

I try to be courteous and treat others as I would like to be treated.


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## keltin (Aug 19, 2007)

Andy M. said:


> If someone posts a recipe for our use, and does not ask for suggestions, I don't offer any. The post was not made to collect change recommendations. We've had members get upset when unsolicited suggestions are made.
> 
> On the other hand, if a member asks help in improving a recipe, they are opening the door wide.
> 
> ...


 
And that is an excellent and very admirable way of handling things. I salute you! 

I also try to do the same thing. And what you said about how you handle yourself is all that I was saying….yet you somehow said it in less words than me. Good job!


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## kadesma (Aug 20, 2007)

_When I first joined here, I was not sure if it was the right thing to do. I'd been on a site where anything went. Making up recipes with the most ukky ingredients you could imagine and when some poor new member would coment, they would be laughed at and ridiculed til they either pitched a nasty fit or just left and never came back. I had taken me over ten years to give the computer a try again. I looked over food tv. Not for me..I found DC, and I read but hung back because I figured I'd get the treatment here..Well, I finally decided to jump in, figuring what the heck, I survived for ten years without a site to visit and could just leave if I needed to. Well, I was welcomed, people were pretty darn nice, yet for a time I still was shy of joining in..Then one day I just up and said hello and a happy birthday to one of the older members here. They answered back and it gave me the courage to jump in more. So, it might seem strange to wish a stranger happy birthday, but remember they might not have anyone else to help them celebrate that special day and you might just find a special person that you will enjoy knowing by holding out your hand. And I understand how odd it might seem and if it truly is not your way of getting to know me or others, just remember you have to break the ice with some of us like I was who was shy and afraid of having someone be rude. You will find more hands held out in welcome than backs turned to avoid you..The warmth here is outstanding and yes there are times when you wish you could just say hey knock it of, but that is NOT often..Reach out, here's my hand_
_kadesma_


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## DaniaBchGirl (Aug 20, 2007)

Like I posted in a similar thread.... as a new member... and speaking for MYSELF,  I dont feel any changes are needed to this site.   Its a great site, the people are friendly, and it has great tips and tricks to learn from.   My feelings are not hurt in the least bit if someone doesnt say WELCOME or HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me.  Personally.... if everyone here felt obligated to chime in with the Welcomes and Happy Birthdays it would be a bit smothering...... but thats just MY opinion.   My point is that not everyone needs that sort of acknowledgement.... or even wants it.   Yeah sure, to be recognized by one or two people is nice, but its not necessary to obligate others to follow suit.  It seems to me that if I am in the mood for the simple chat that there are plenty of threads just for that purpose here where I can open myself up to whoever I want, whenever I want, as much or little as I want.    

Thank for having such a GREAT site!!!   I enjoy it very much just the way it is.


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## Alix (Aug 20, 2007)

OK, I just read through this entire thread and I have to say, if I were a new member I'm not sure I would be flattered by the portrayal here of "newbies". That alone would impel me to leave. 

Come on folks, almost all of us have the best intentions here and no one is out to upset anyone. Keep in mind that what *you* read as insulting could be read as humour by someone else. I, quite frankly, resent folks telling me what I should and shouldn't do in my posts. Discuss Cooking has set out a Community Policy and if we all follow that we will be fine. The first rule of conduct is "be respectful". 

My feeling is generally, "if it aint broke, don't fix it". If any of you feel the need to change how you interact on the site, please feel free. Otherwise, as long as everyone is playing by the rules I think we're doing just fine. Folks get welcomes, folks get birthday wishes, folks get discussion about their recipes. Thats what this place is all about. 

Amy, thanks for starting this thread, you certainly sparked a lot of discussion and made people think. Thats exactly the sort of thing we want here.


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## kitchenelf (Aug 20, 2007)

Following on what Alix said - this isn't a "you must do this or you must do that" kind of place - other than you must follow our community policies.

We have always had a lot of new members that never do anything more than sign up.  There are a lot of lurkers out there.  There are also a lot of people who simply don't even remember they've ever posted anything here.  There are also a lot of one-time posters who know they post a question that will stir excitement and then never come back.  We have had that even admitted to us by one of these new members.  They were a troll and we all fell for it.  

This site is what the members make it - we just make sure it stays a friendly place.  And I guess some know that we do whatever it takes to keep it that way.  

I, personally, think our members are pretty awesome!  Thanks guys!!!!


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## ironchef (Aug 20, 2007)

IMO, I don't think that a lot of people are "scared" off the site, they just want their one answer, or they want to search for a few things, and that's it. They don't have any interest in participating nor do they have any interest in contributing overall. They want to find the recipe for say, bolognese sauce, and it's MUCH easier to navigate and search for if you're a member so they join. The people who want to stay long term do so under their own power. They don't, and they shouldn't need their hands held. It's like going to school: you jump right in with both eyes open and what you do determines how others react to you. 

Everyone has their own agenda and what they're looking to get out of this site. If someone wants to participate actively, it's their own choice on how they proceed to do so. Like GB said, it's called "Discuss" Cooking. It's not called "Post any crap recipe and we'll tell you that we think it's great even though I wouldn't feed it to my dog."


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## *amy* (Aug 20, 2007)

ironchef said:


> IMO, I don't think that a lot of people are "scared" off the site, they just want their one answer,..
> 
> That was one of my thoughts, exactly.
> 
> It's not called "Post any crap recipe and we'll tell you that we think it's great even though I wouldn't feed it to my dog."


 
I thought I saw your dog 'foaming' at the mouth.


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## keltin (Aug 20, 2007)

ironchef said:


> IMO, I don't think that a lot of people are "scared" off the site, they just want their one answer, or they want to search for a few things, and that's it. They don't have any interest in participating nor do they have any interest in contributing overall.


 
That is a distinct possibility when it comes to someone asking a question. But a bit improbable if the new user posts a recipe that they like only to be told it’s not fit for a dog to eat.

Is there anything to be gained from telling a person they used the wrong spice or they had too many carbohydrates for side dishes (if they did not ask for advice that is)? Isn’t that just basically saying “my” preference and opinion is better than “yours”. It’s subjective really. I’m not saying it happens a lot, all in all this is a great site, but I’m not blind to the fact that it does happen. 

Statisically speaking, it’s probably low. Look at being struck by lightning, the odds are 1 in 6,188,298 that it will happen......but what if YOU were that one....or someone you loved was that one. Statiscally speaking, it’s not a big deal, not a big deal at all........but to YOU it would be.


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## ironchef (Aug 20, 2007)

keltin said:


> That is a distinct possibility when it comes to someone asking a question. But a bit improbable if the new user posts a recipe that they like only to be told it’s not fit for a dog to eat.
> 
> Is there anything to be gained from telling a person they used the wrong spice or they had too many carbohydrates for side dishes (if they did not ask for advice that is)? Isn’t that just basically saying “my” preference and opinion is better than “yours”. It’s subjective really. I’m not saying it happens a lot, all in all this is a great site, but I’m not blind to the fact that it does happen.
> 
> Statisically speaking, it’s probably low. Look at being struck by lightning, the odds are 1 in 6,188,298 that it will happen......but what if YOU were that one....or someone you loved was that one. Statiscally speaking, it’s not big deal, not a big deal at all........but to YOU it would be.


 
Those are good points Keltin, but speaking for me personally, I look at things (especially in the culinary threads) purely from an objective standpoint. If someone posts a recipe that I wouldn't cook for someone unless I hated them, I won't post that their dish sucks and that from the sounds of it, even Somalian refugees would spit it out. I usually won't even post anything in that said thread unless it *specifically* asks for comments, suggestions, recommendations, etc. Usually, I may respond back to another poster who replied first, if they posted something inaccurate. If I'm asking for comments(or even if I'm not, it doesn't faze me either way), I'm prepared to hear both positive and negative ones, and so should anyone else. Now if a person doesn't want to hear those negative criticisms, then they shouldn't have asked in the first place (and even if they didn't; it is a public forum after all). 

For example, if someone says, "Hey, I don't really care for foams and I think they are pointless."

I'll respond with, "Ok, cool. Have you ever tried them before? If so, how were they integrated with those particular dishes?"

If they were to say, "Oh, because that guy Marcel did it on Top Chef and all the other chefs didn't like him", then I'll tell you that you're an idiot to base your assumptions on other people's opinions, without ever having experienced it for yourself. 

If you were to say, "Well, I've had it at a few restaurants and it just doesn't appeal to me. I'd rather have the texture of an aioli or beurre blanc", then cool. That's your preferrence. I don't have any problem with that. 

But that's an opinion. It's subjective and can't really be measured. However, there are times that people confuse their opinion with fact (or lack thereof). In those cases, I will make it a point to address it because regardless of it's your "opinion", or whether it's what you "think" or "believe", it's still incorrect.


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## GB (Aug 20, 2007)

keltin said:


> Is there anything to be gained from telling a person they used the wrong spice or they had too many carbohydrates for side dishes


Do you have an example of where this has happened?

I have seen people say that something does not look good to them or that they would change some things around. That is part of discussion.

And to answer your question, yes there is a tremendous amount to be gained from being told that a different spice might have been better or that less carbs and more of something else could have rounded out the meal better. When I first came to this site I did not know a tenth of what I know now. I am thankful for the people who pointed out ways that I could change my recipes. Sometimes they worked and sometimes they didn't, but that is how you learn. 

This is an open forum where people can express their opinions. Just because someones opinion is different from yours does not mean that one is more correct over the other. They are just opinions. If someone posts a recipe then they need to be prepared that some people will like it and some will not. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. As someone else said, this is not kindergarten. This is the real world.


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## *amy* (Aug 20, 2007)

kitchenelf said:


> ... this isn't a "you must do this or you must do that" kind of place...
> 
> *This site is what the members make it* - we just make sure it stays a friendly place. And I guess some know that we do whatever it takes to keep it that way.
> 
> *I, personally, think our members are pretty awesome! Thanks guys!!!! *


 

Well said, 472666 (huh?) That was what I was trying to say/share. Yes it was followed on the heels of another thread re Admin/Mods should be welcoming folks. I took the approach that member's can also take part. It was not all about welcomes and Happy Birthdays, or why new people may or may not stay. Thanks for putting it so succinctly. And, yes, do what 'you' feel comfortable with. How does the saying go? - The success is due to the sum of its' parts. Well, something like that. I was never referring to new members. The point was about enjoying what we already have here. And, I do. (Now if I could figure out where my 65550 (approx) pms came from before the site change . I just deleted them, btw - if anyone is having the same prob)


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## lulu (Aug 25, 2007)

GB said:


> .......I have seen people say that something does not look good to them or that they would change some things around. That is part of discussion.
> 
> And to answer your question, yes there is a tremendous amount to be gained from being told that a different spice might have been better or that less carbs and more of something else could have rounded out the meal better. When I first came to this site I did not know a tenth of what I know now. ........


 
Hey, I have to jump in here (BTW Welcome me back folks, )!   I think there is a great benefit to commenting, tactfully, suggestions on newbies/anybodies recipes....the other less educated but learning members/guests here who will gain from other people's experience, tastes or interpretations.  I think that its important to try and be tactful, but I DO think suggestions are beneficial to ALL the users of this site, not just the person posting he recipe.


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