# Beans



## tancowgirl2000 (Sep 11, 2005)

*If this doesn't make you laugh out loud, nothing will.

Once upon a time, there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately, they had always have a very
embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.

Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself,  He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this  carrying on."

She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work, since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be
late because she had to walk home. On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was  more than she could stand. Since she still
had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off  any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it,she had consumed 3  large orders of baked beans.

All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it.

Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly,
"Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She  seated herself and just as he was about to
remove the blindfold from his  wife,  the telephone rang.  He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned.

He then went to answer the telephone. The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so
while her husband was out of the room  she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud,  but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of pulpwood 
mill.
*
*She took her napkin and fanned  the air around her vigorously. Then she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which  reminded her of cooked cabbage.  Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went  on like this for another ten minutes.
*
*When the phone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it,  smiling contentedly to herself.

She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold,  and she was
surprised!
*
*There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!

*


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## texasgirl (Sep 11, 2005)

OMG, can you imagine??


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## pdswife (Sep 11, 2005)

Lol!  Great Giggle!


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## middie (Sep 11, 2005)

oh i'd be looking for a rock to hide under for all of eternity lmbo


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## KAYLINDA (Sep 11, 2005)

I would be crying as I ran from the room...(but hopefully I could laugh about it later).


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## Ken (Sep 11, 2005)

And you promised Alix you'd never tell that story about her!

For shame.....


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## texasgirl (Sep 11, 2005)

Ken said:
			
		

> And you promised Alix you'd never tell that story about her!
> 
> For shame.....


 
She's gonna kick your buuuuuttttt


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## Maidrite (Sep 11, 2005)

So when did this happen to you Tanis ?   

I might have had the happen to me............................. Nope just kidding...................  



I think a man would be ok with it, A lady on the other hand would just die. 
Thank You for the Laugh!


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## tancowgirl2000 (Sep 11, 2005)

Just die??? Thats it?? Oh My!!!  My soul would NEVER rest if that happened NEVER!!!


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## Alix (Sep 12, 2005)

Ken said:
			
		

> And you promised Alix you'd never tell that story about her!
> 
> For shame.....


 
I feel some negative karma coming your way!! Or maybe some RICE for dinner!!!


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## Ken (Sep 12, 2005)

Alix said:
			
		

> I feel some negative karma coming your way!! Or maybe some RICE for dinner!!!


 
Oops!  Hope Abby's hungry tonight......


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