# Engagement ring alternatives



## luvs (May 16, 2008)

jake & i cannot really afford an engagement ring or wedding bands, & we've been engaged for awhile. i want a ring. after 8 years, i expect a ring.
i also understand, though, that i put him through the wringer with his money... i insist that we live admist the richest area in our city, ask fer stuff like mandolines & expensive dinners out way too often,
so i figured a tatooed engagement ring would be great fer us.
i'm not really a fan of engagement rings.
whatta you say...
tacky or cute?


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## sattie (May 16, 2008)

I think that choice is all in the eye of the beholder.  I personally say do what you want and don't worry what other people think.  This is all coming from a person that did not opt for an engagement ring and spent less than $200 on wedding bands.  Jewelry is just not that important to me.  If you wanna tattoo for a ring... go for it!


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## bowlingshirt (May 16, 2008)

I wouldn't tatoo a ring on...you'll probably regret it later on.  If I were you, figure out ways to save money instead of spoiling yourself so you can save for a ring.


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## luvs (May 16, 2008)

sattie, i love your style! thanks.


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## bethzaring (May 16, 2008)

i don't know luvs, i thought it sounded like a clever idea.

I know when I got married, I did not give a twit about rings, boy, have I changed my mind on that one.....diamonds? Bring them on....


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## luvs (May 16, 2008)

bowlingshirt said:


> I wouldn't tatoo a ring on...you'll probably regret it later on. quote]
> 
> i'm already tattooed. & i'm Catholic, so is he, so divorce isn't a realistic option.
> there's laser removal, too, if my other tatoo gets too young fer my old self.


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## GB (May 16, 2008)

My wife told me she did not care about a ring and she really truly meant it. Once she had it on her finger though that all changed. The great thing about a ring is that it can be passed down to children or family members. You can't do that with a tattoo. When you are older and your hands are wrinkly do you really want a wrinkly black mark on your finger?

Like has been said, it is your decision so you need to do what you want and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.


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## luvs (May 16, 2008)

excellent point, geebs, if only our budget allowed, i'd get a very simple ring to give to my daughter. i wouldn't really wear it, though.
i figure my decision suits what i want, though i like other opinions cause i care what others hafta say.


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## pacanis (May 16, 2008)

By the time it is old and wrinkly you could cover it up with a ring 

I like to think I'm an innovative traditionalist 
A tattoo as as ring sounds cool, but then, is it really an "engagement ring"? No, it's a tatto of a ring. IMO


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## TATTRAT (May 16, 2008)

In this day and age, tattoos often last a lot longer the relationships, but I don't want to seem negative about it.

It is ultimately up to you. But, even death won't do you and a tattoo apart, lol.


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## GB (May 16, 2008)

luvs said:


> excellent point, geebs, if only our budget allowed, i'd get a very simple ring to give to my daughter.


You can get a very simple ring for less than the cost of the tattoo. It does not have to be a diamond ring after all. It could be a cz ring or a colored piece of glass or no stone at all.


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## kitchenelf (May 16, 2008)

Budget really isn't an issue if you are talking about a very simple gold band, or even white gold.  It's less than a week of going out to eat.

In the end it's your life, your wedding, and your finger.  Do what means the most to the both of you.  Just don't use the excuse of budget because the budget is there if you are spending that much money on the other stuff.


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## buckytom (May 16, 2008)

luvs, your church will insist on a wedding band, but the engagement ring is up to you.

imo, make poor jake take out a loan to buy you a ring. he might as well start getting used to the non-religious sacrifices as well. 

just remember, when you go through pre-cana course and they ask you about pre-marital nookie, just ask them if they try a pair of shoes on before buying them...


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## babetoo (May 16, 2008)

GB said:


> You can get a very simple ring for less than the cost of the tattoo. It does not have to be a diamond ring after all. It could be a cz ring or a colored piece of glass or no stone at all.


 


i totally agree, tats are expensive. personally i would want a real ring, modest though it may be. 


babe


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## luvs (May 16, 2008)

buckytom;6075
 
imo said:


> GASP, bucky! as IF!!!!!!!!!


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## welise86 (May 16, 2008)

my husband is in the military and has to take his ring off alot because otherwise he'd break the band with the physical work that he does...he has a tatoo around his ring finger so that he doesn't have to feel bad about taking it off....I think it's all about how you look at it. You can get a set of wedding bands at Wal Mart for cheap...or try a pawn shop. My aunt works at one and she has sold our family members some nice, inexpensive jewelry....all that matters is your love and committment to each other, and who cares if the diamond is big or small or if there is even a diamond.....the marriage part lasts much longer than the engagement part....


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## buckytom (May 16, 2008)

luvs said:


> GASP, bucky! as IF!!!!!!!!!


 
no money for shoes, either?


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## ChefJune (May 16, 2008)

I had a dear friend who used to say "if it feels good, it's supposed to, and if it doesn't then you're not doing it right."  He felt that way about everything in life.  If the tattoo makes you happy, go for it.  however, I know several couples who couldn't afford a traditional engagement diamond who went for a Claddagh ring instead.  simple, beautiful heart-in-hands motif.. and I'll bet that costs less than a tattoo!


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## sattie (May 16, 2008)

welise86 said:


> my husband is in the military and has to take his ring off alot because otherwise he'd break the band with the physical work that he does...he has a tatoo around his ring finger so that he doesn't have to feel bad about taking it off....I think it's all about how you look at it. You can get a set of wedding bands at Wal Mart for cheap...or try a pawn shop. My aunt works at one and she has sold our family members some nice, inexpensive jewelry....all that matters is your love and committment to each other, and who cares if the diamond is big or small or if there is even a diamond.....the marriage part lasts much longer than the engagement part....


 
My sentiments exactly!  The ring does not make the relationship or marriage.


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## luvs (May 16, 2008)

buckytom said:


> no money for shoes, either?


none.
 he ties paper towels that he stole from public restrooms around his footsies while i dance around in my Jimmy Choo shoes and twirl my Prada bag.
kidding, tee-hee.


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## Katie H (May 16, 2008)

When our youngest son and his girlfriend became engaged they didn't have two pennies to rub together.  Amy didn't particularly want an engagement ring and was lukewarm on a wedding ring.  What they ended up doing was saving their pennies and going to a pawn shop and buying a beautiful antique "ring."  It was neither an engagement ring nor a wedding ring.  Just a pretty ring they both liked.

As someone already mentioned, go out to eat fewer times and put that money in a separate account, add to it the money you might spend on new "toys," etc.  In no time, you'll have enough money to buy a nice ring or rings, if Jake wants a ring.

Buck and I know someone who couldn't afford a diamond ring and, instead, the lovely engagement ring has a CZ in it.   Now, more than 20 years later, the CZ is still in the ring.


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## Barbara L (May 16, 2008)

James used to work at a store that sold new and used jewelry (as well as coins, antiques, etc.).  You can get some really good deals on good jewelry at some of those stores.  We could never have afforded my wedding set at one of the name brand jewelry stores (btw, he was always repairing jewelry that people bought at a particular name brand store in the town where he worked).

My friend threw her ring (when it didn't work out with her husband--they have since remarried) into a river.  Don't try that with a tattooed ring!  

Barbara


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## luvs (May 16, 2008)

oohhhlll! an antique ring! NOW you;re talkin!

barb, glad your buddy didn't jump with her ring!!!!!


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## middie (May 16, 2008)

Get a ring not the tattoo.


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## kleenex (May 16, 2008)

Does it really have to be a regular ring???


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## Dave Hutchins (May 16, 2008)

Tacky. ,TACKY MOST UNBELIEVABLE TACKY. A ring to most people shows commitment
one tothe other


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## luvs (May 16, 2008)

well, davehutchins, a tatoo is more of a commitment- you can't throw a tattoo away or pawn that tattoo.


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## pdswife (May 16, 2008)

I knew a girl who had a tattoo'ed wedding band. I loved it. Me... I wanted the diamond! lol!!  He wanted to get me a big one, I insisted that I only wanted a small one.  SILLY SILLY ME!!!


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## middie (May 16, 2008)

luvs said:


> well, davehutchins, a tatoo is more of a commitment- you can't throw a tattoo away or pawn that tattoo.


 
Maybe not but you're stuck with it for life. Btw the laser removal is much more painful than the tat itself. Keep that in mind.


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## GB (May 16, 2008)

luvs said:


> you can't throw a tattoo away





luvs said:


> there's laser removal



Looks like you can "throw it away"


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## luvs (May 16, 2008)

i know middie.


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## luvs (May 16, 2008)

we both like that antique ring deal. antiques 'er so pretty.


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## Dove (May 16, 2008)

*A ring does not a marriage make. 
Even K-Mart has good sales..it could be sterling silver. 
Stay away from a tatoo.
Marge*


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## Loprraine (May 16, 2008)

> i'm not really a fan of engagement rings.
> whatta you say...


 
That's exactly what I told him a year ago.  The last thing I needed or wanted was anything thing, or diamonds. I have great ones, didn't need any more, And, you're right, an engagement ring doesn't make the marriage, or the relationship for that matter.



> Once she had it on her finger though that all changed.


 
Oh, how right you are.  He surprised me with one at Easter.  To this day, I don't know why he did it, but I also can't describe how it made me feel. I look at it every day and smile. It's not big, it's not flashy, but I know where his heart was, and I will treasure it always. 

Would I have rathered he save the money for the wedding?  Maybe.  But, I don't think so.


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## luvs (May 16, 2008)

we agreed, both very concurrently, to an antique ring.
thanks, guys.


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## jpmcgrew (May 16, 2008)

Forget the tattoo personally I think they are tacky and your relationship deserves better. A CZ is actually becoming very popular they look like the real thing and you can get as big of one as you want and if by chance you lose it you wont curl up and die you will just get another. I would check out pawn shops as well, it could be a nice sapphire or emerald. I also love the antique ring idea. An engagement ring can be just about anything you want even a really nice Turquoise ring. You might look up on Internet on the different meanings of different stones and go from there. It isn't the price of the ring but what it means.


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## Mama (May 16, 2008)

I'm glad you decided on a ring and not the tatoo.


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## Maverick2272 (May 16, 2008)

I insisted on getting DW an engagement ring before asking her to marry me, got a really  nice one with a decent stone. While she loved the romance of it all (special night, bended knee, etc), she could have cared less about the ring. In fact, she barely ever wore it (really hurt my feelings at the time). Turns out she just doesn't care for diamonds, it sits in one of her jewelry boxes around here somewhere.
Originally I got us both cheap gold wedding bands, both lost long ago. 7 years ago I bought us a new platinum and gold set with the anniversary date and our special inscription inside. For the longest time she never wore hers, but now I think she is starting to realize it is not so much about the ring or what type it is or how much it cost, but the love it represents...
I don't see why a tattoo can't represent the same thing, or anything else you choose to get or go with. It is just a symbol.


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## Nancy Jane (May 16, 2008)

I always just wrap the man around my finger.


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## Maverick2272 (May 16, 2008)

Isn't it hard to type with him there?


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## Nancy Jane (May 16, 2008)

No, actually there is something comforting about him being there.  At least I know where he is  Seriously, he's a good man and he's welcome there.  Love is the best kind of ring and it don't get cold.


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## ChefJune (May 17, 2008)

Mama said:


> I'm glad you decided on a ring and not the tatoo.



me too...

G-d bless you both.


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## luvs (May 17, 2008)

mav, he's playing video games. i can type away!plus he reads my posts with me sometimes.


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## quicksilver (May 17, 2008)

*     I don't do pain, so no tats here. Plus I don't like them on ladies.*
*     If you want a tat, go for it.*
*     If you want a ring, go for it.*
*     One is a poor substitute for the other.*
*     If your family and friend's expectations are putting pressure on you, you must decide who you are and be happy with it.*
*     Any pre-marriage counselling you may get will tell you the meaning and beauty of the ring. 
And you can't give that to yourself. One partner gives to the other.*
*     If you can't make this decision, and be content with it, how are you to make the bigger ones?*


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## Barbara L (May 17, 2008)

Luvs, Maverick was being silly about this post.  


Nancy Jane said:


> I always just wrap the man around my finger.


 
Barbara


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## kitchenelf (May 17, 2008)

Barbara L said:


> Luvs, Maverick was being silly about this post.
> 
> 
> Barbara



You beat me to it - LOL

Nancy - that was a good one!!!!

Glad about the antique ring luvs.


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## luvs (May 17, 2008)

thanks, guys. i figured mav was being a jokester-so was i.


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## Maverick2272 (May 17, 2008)

If I wasn't so tired I would have used a smiley guy on the post, LOL. 
But ya'll gave me an idea! You can always swap out the diamond for a little GPS tracker that looks like a diamond...


OK, yea, too James Bondish... but it might work for some of these forum members that keep disappearing on us!


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## Nancy Jane (May 17, 2008)

I still prefer the man wrapped around my finger.


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## meshoo96 (May 17, 2008)

well, dh and I have the same dilemma...technically, we are not married yet, but we still say dh and dw here. As far as the rings, he wants me to have a huge ring that people will envy. personally, i don't like all that flash. A simple ring will do just fine. As far as I'm concerned, it's the love that matters and i'd rather spend the money on a house. i know that's never going to happen, but the way i see it, is there are stores (like walmart) that carry rings that are cheaper (the quality isn't as good, but they are still nice) or go to a jeweler and get an alternate stone...some are really inexpensive. 

In any case, it is your choice. But make sure that it's something you REALLY want and are willing to have and live with for the rest of your life. I saw where people say there is always laser removal, but removal costs more than getting the tattoo to begin with.


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## Nancy Jane (May 17, 2008)

My friends say white topaz sparkles just as much as diamond. I say do what you want and the heck with anyone else's opinion. It's how you personally demonstate your commitment. Be happy! And you know what, if you love each other completely, that's all that matters.  Isn't that sparkle enough?


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## Maverick2272 (May 17, 2008)

I don't know where you live, but there are also places that let you dig you prospect for jem stones and such for a small fee. You go out and either dig thru or sift thru looking for jem stones. Then you can have them cut it, polish it, and mount it for you. Not free but much cheaper than in the stores, and your quality is limited only by what you find.
There is one up north here, I wanna say UP Michigan area, that has a mine where you can prospect for some type of diamond. Apparently it isn't an actual diamond, but when cut and shined up sure looks and sparkles like one.
The lady that does this stuff is on the Travel Channel, interesting stuff.


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## jpmcgrew (May 17, 2008)

Actually a few years back there was a show saying Walmart and Kmart actually carry really decent diamonds. I still think CZ is the way to go I have some earrings that sparkle like crazy. My former boss in Texas who is very wealthy likes to wear gigantic CZ earrings. She has a huge amount of expensive real gemstone jewelry including giant diamond rings but at the same time she enjoys the CZ. Many people that owned really expensive stones years ago used to wear reproductions of their pieces called paste in case they were robbed. Anyone remember that? CZ is way better then that  they can actually create the heat and pressure that makes a diamond and other precious stones.


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## meshoo96 (May 17, 2008)

jpmcgrew said:


> Actually a few years back there was a show saying Walmart and Kmart actually carry really decent diamonds. I still think CZ is the way to go I have some earrings that sparkle like crazy. My former boss in Texas who is very wealthy likes to wear gigantic CZ earrings. She has a huge amount of expensive real gemstone jewelry including giant diamond rings but at the same time she enjoys the CZ. Many people that own really expensive stones used to wear reproductions of their pieces called paste in case they were robbed.



i'd prefer a good quality CZ...you can't really tell and they are a lot less expensive.


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