# I hate thermometers,  they are liars and backstabbers



## purple.alien.giraffe (Aug 3, 2014)

So, thermometers are now added to the list of "things Jess is not allowed to use without adult supervision," others being sharp things, matches, and electrician's scissors (which kind of fall under sharp things but get their own cattegory for reasons I won't get into right now). But, I mean, the thermometer started it. I was perfectly willing to get al8ng with it. Hmmph. It ended it too, though, when it flipped out of the pan and splashed boiling, liquid sugar on my finger.  But hey, at least when I ran my finger under cold water the sugar hardened right away and fell right off instead of sticking. 

That's the problem though. All of the recipes I looked at said that for hard candy the sugar and water solution should reach 300° F. When the thermometer hit about 180° (it was marked in 50's) I noticed the amount of steam coming off the solution had suddenly reduced to barely visible.  I tested a drop in water and it was very chewy and starting to solidify. I hadn't looked up temperatures for other stages but this seemed off to me. Very shortly after that I wasn't seeing steam anymore. Not even a little. The thermometer read about 230°/240°. I tested and the very slow, tiny drip that came off the spoon hardened immediately.  I thought about taking the candy off the burner at that point but hesitated for just a few seconds because the thermometer said it wasn't time yet. And just like that, in those few seconds, the liquid candy started to turn brown. I cursed the thermometer as I quikly removed the pan from the heat and that's when the devilish thing turned on me, breaking free of the clip and injuring me as mentioned above.

So why the blanket statement in the title that thermometers are liars and backstabers?  Why do I not just write this one off as a one off defect and give the rest of thermometers the benifit of the doubt?  Because I've never owned an acurate thermometer.  Not one! Digital, analog, candy, oven, meat, multi-purpose, doesn't matter. None of them have been accurate. And it's not like using a thermometer requires genius intelligence levels. I know about proper placement and all. I know that letting it tumble about recklessly can ruin the calibration. I know not to leave them in the hot oven in a turkey unless it is specifically rated for such use. I know to keep it clean and not let water get into the face of it. So just in case anyone doubted it before, please know now that yes, I do indeed know how to use a thermometer. 

What I'm wondering about is, is this just me or do others have problems with thermometer accuracy? At this point I've pretty much decided to ditch the stupid things. My instincts serve me way better than any thermometer has. I just wonder if I'm going to run across something where I really do need exact enough temps to require a thermometer. 

Anyone have any thoughts, suggestions, thermometers that are actually accurate?


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## Aunt Bea (Aug 3, 2014)

I've always had more problems with the bathroom scale than I've had with thermometers. 

I have an instant read thermometer from the Pampered Chef, the cheapest thing I could buy when a friend cornered me years ago, that works great.  I also have a candy/deep frying thermometer in a glass tube from Maid of Honor that works fine.  That one is so old it is referred to as a vintage thermometer!

I learned to roast meat by poking it with my finger, the smell and the sound of the crackling coming from the oven.  I learned to fry things by watching the oil shimmer, smoke or by splattering a few drops of water into the grease and seeing how violent the reaction was.  I learned to make candy by looking at the size of the bubbles that the boiling liquid was making, the sound of the plop,plop, seeing if the liquid coming off a spoon spun a thread and dropping a sample into cold water and to see if it hardened etc...

I don't cook much anymore so I use the thermometers to reassure me that I'm on the right track.   Years ago when I cooked all the time I didn't bother with them at all, go figure!


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## Zagut (Aug 3, 2014)

Aunt Bea said:


> I've always had more problems with the bathroom scale than I've had with thermometers.


 
I have the same problem and I have to say it's not the accuracy of the scale. 

I haven't had problems with accuracy but I say to trust your instincts and use the thermometers as guideline to tell you when you're getting close.


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## CraigC (Aug 3, 2014)

We threw that dang bathroom scale away years ago!

Inaccuracy is inherent with cheap. Perfect examples are the standard 2-1/2", analog pressure gauges used by most of the recreational diving industry for air/gas filling stations. They can be off as much as 25% of the scale! Now use a digital gauge in that size and the accuracy drops to .5%. Of course, the difference in price is $32.00 vs $700.00.


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## GA Home Cook (Aug 3, 2014)

Therma Pen.  Worth every penny.


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## Chief Longwind Of The North (Aug 3, 2014)

My thermometers are good between 32' F and 212'F. at least.  Only the digital one, and the candy thermometer in the glass tube are trustworthy.  The other analog dial thermometers are very inaccurate.

I would have a hard time making that super juicy turkey without my trusty thermometer, as I need to know when the meat reaches 160' F.   Any more than that and the bird starts drying out.

I do have to say though, that my candy thermometer has never attacked me.  I love the way you tell your tale.  You should be a writer for television sitcoms (intelligent ones).

Seeeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North


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## Addie (Aug 3, 2014)

My mother didn't have any thermometers and she could tell the temperature of the oven just by sticking her hand in it. I learned most of my cooking skills from her and started my married life without any thermometers. I hate digital. They never stay properly calibrated. So I get the old fashion ones that are analog. I can even read the analog ones easier. I had a digital bath scale, that if you moved it for just five inches to a new location, it would show you had gained or lost ten pounds. With analog, you don't have any batteries that wear out.


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## Zagut (Aug 3, 2014)

Addie said:


> I had a digital bath scale, that if you moved it for just five inches to a new location, it would show you had gained or lost ten pounds.


 
That would be a good thing if it only showed a loss. 






Chief Longwind Of The North said:


> I do have to say though, that my candy thermometer has never attacked me. I love the way you tell your tale. You should be a writer for television sitcoms (intelligent ones).
> 
> Seeeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North


 

2 things Chief,
Do you have any tips on training thermometers to be gentle and not attack thermometers? 

And is there such a thing as a intelligent sitcom?


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## taxlady (Aug 3, 2014)

Zagut said:


> ...
> And is there such a thing as a intelligent sitcom?


Barney Miller and WKRP in Cincinnati come to mind. Oh yeah, Big Bang Theory.


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## GotGarlic (Aug 3, 2014)

I don't have problems with my thermometers, but I don't make candy. My oven came with a probe thermometer - you can set the target temperature and the oven will ding when it's done. I love that  I also have a handheld digital thermometer - I love that, too. I had to use a digital one in culinary school and it was a pain to read.


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## Zagut (Aug 3, 2014)

Barney Miller & WKRP. Now there is a blast from the past. 

I've never seen "Big Bang Theory". 


Yes some sitcoms make you think and it can take some intelligence to understand the humor. But "intelligent sitcom" just seems like an oxymoron to me.


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## taxlady (Aug 3, 2014)

P.A.G., I hear ya.

I only have one thermometer I trust. I have had the kind you leave in the food in the oven, instant read, digital, and analog. I had an oven thermometer, for measuring the heat of the oven, that caused me to burn food until I quit trusting it.

The one thermometer I trust is a candy/deep fry thermometer. It came with instructions on how to test and calibrate it. There is a nut that can be twisted. It read 0°C when left in ice water and 100°C when in boiling water, straight from the store. I wish I hadn't thrown away that piece of cardboard, because it doesn't say a brand name anywhere on the thermometer. It's dishwasher safe! It reads the temperature of meat faster than the instant read thermometers I have owned. Food comes out the way I expect it to for the temperature that thermometer tells me. I would buy more of them, if I just knew the brand name.


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## taxlady (Aug 3, 2014)

Zagut said:


> Barney Miller & WKRP. Now there is a blast from the past.
> 
> I've never seen "Big Bang Theory".
> 
> ...


Blast from the past, indeed. I guess that just proves the point. It is possible to have an intelligent sitcom, but is very rare.


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## bakechef (Aug 3, 2014)

I have this glass clip on thermometer that I got out of a clearance bin and it has never let me down, make candy with it every christmas.  Maybe I'm just lucky?

Same with instant read (OK, it's a cheapie, so it isn't instant at all), but I keep it calibrated.


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## purple.alien.giraffe (Aug 3, 2014)

Hmmm, maybe I'll have to request a good, tried and true thermometer from dad for Christmas this year. But I'm still trusting my instincts first. Thanks for the replies everyone. 

Sent from my GT-P5210 using Discuss Cooking mobile app


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## Zagut (Aug 3, 2014)

purple.alien.giraffe said:


> But I'm still trusting my instincts first.


 



Ain't nothing better.


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## Silversage (Aug 3, 2014)

Thermapen.  About $100


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## purple.alien.giraffe (Aug 3, 2014)

Photo evidence that boilibg, liquid sugar and and human flesh don't yield happy results.




Just in case anyone was curious. Could have been much worse. When I worked as a nurse aide we had a guy admitted that was canning fruit preserves and one of the jars exploded. Not only did he get burns from the boiling water and hot, sticky jam all over his torso, but he had a few pieces of glass that embeded deeply in his skin. Said he'd canned stuff many times before and had no idea how the jar exploded. I wanted to cry on his behalf every time I saw him.

But anyways, yeah, thermometers.


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## Dawgluver (Aug 3, 2014)

Owwiee!  Hope you heal fast, PAG!


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## Chief Longwind Of The North (Aug 3, 2014)

taxlady said:


> Barney Miller and WKRP in Cincinnati come to mind. Oh yeah, Big Bang Theory.



Available currently is "Growing up Fisher" which is fairly entertaining.  another was, oh what was the name of that show?  It had Fred Savage as the main character.

I agree that most sitcoms over the years have been mindless.  I did like "I Love Lucy" and "The Dick VanDyke Show".  
the "Danny Thomas Show" wasn't bad either.  I also enjoyed the "Bill Cosby Show", in its various incarnations.  Yeh, I know, I'm showing my age.

I liked a few straight up comedy shows from that time period as well, like the Red Skelton Show, the Carol Burnett Show, to name a couple of standouts.

That's my favorite time period for TV, when the world seemed more innocent, and had family enriching standards.

Seeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North


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## PrincessFiona60 (Aug 3, 2014)

Ow PAG!!!


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## Mad Cook (Aug 3, 2014)

taxlady said:


> Barney Miller and WKRP in Cincinnati come to mind. Oh yeah, Big Bang Theory.


BBT is one of the few things I miss now I don't have a television. I'll swear I've shared apartments with all of the characters at one time or another!


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## Mad Cook (Aug 3, 2014)

taxlady said:


> P.A.G., I hear ya.
> 
> I only have one thermometer I trust. I have had the kind you leave in the food in the oven, instant read, digital, and analog. I had an oven thermometer, for measuring the heat of the oven, that caused me to burn food until I quit trusting it.
> 
> The one thermometer I trust is a candy/deep fry thermometer. It came with instructions on how to test and calibrate it. There is a nut that can be twisted. It read 0°C when left in ice water and 100°C when in boiling water, straight from the store. I wish I hadn't thrown away that piece of cardboard, because it doesn't say a brand name anywhere on the thermometer. It's dishwasher safe! It reads the temperature of meat faster than the instant read thermometers I have owned. Food comes out the way I expect it to for the temperature that thermometer tells me. I would buy more of them, if I just knew the brand name.


Don't know whether they are available where you are, but Brannan is a good make in the UK. They make lab thermometers, etc., as well as culinary thermometers.


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## Mad Cook (Aug 3, 2014)

Chief Longwind Of The North said:


> Available currently is "Growing up Fisher" which is fairly entertaining.  another was, *oh what was the name of that show?  It had Fred Savage as the main character.*
> 
> I agree that most sitcoms over the years have been mindless.  I did like "I Love Lucy" and "The Dick VanDyke Show".
> the "Danny Thomas Show" wasn't bad either.  I also enjoyed the "Bill Cosby Show", in its various incarnations.  Yeh, I know, I'm showing my age.
> ...


Was it "The Wonder Years"?


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## Chief Longwind Of The North (Aug 4, 2014)

Mad Cook said:


> Was it "The Wonder Years"?



Yep, that was it.  Thanks.

Seeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North


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## purple.alien.giraffe (Aug 14, 2014)

Updated photo of my burn. Looks nasty but doesn't hurt anymore. 



I actually burned under my fingernail.


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## Chief Longwind Of The North (Aug 14, 2014)

purple.alien.giraffe said:


> Updated photo of my burn. Looks nasty but doesn't hurt anymore.
> 
> View attachment 21681
> 
> I actually burned under my fingernail.


 
Ow!  I'm glad that it's healing well, and doesn't hurt any more.  I hope the natural skin color remains.  i had a burn like that on my left ring finger.  It left a scar, but is barely noticeable.  Besides, your natural skin tone goes better with the emerald; at least, that's my opinion.

Seeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North


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## Zagut (Aug 14, 2014)

That's great that it doesn't hurt anymore. 

Burns are nasty things and I'm glad to hear you're doing well.

Finger injuries really teach you how much you rely on your digits.

I just split my nail across the finger about halfway down. (Not cooking related) but it's almost made me one handed.


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## PrincessFiona60 (Aug 14, 2014)

purple.alien.giraffe said:


> Updated photo of my burn. Looks nasty but doesn't hurt anymore.
> 
> View attachment 21681
> 
> I actually burned under my fingernail.



Looks healthy, you are taking good care of it.  I'm glad it's feeling better!


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## purple.alien.giraffe (Aug 14, 2014)

Zagut said:


> That's great that it doesn't hurt anymore.
> 
> Burns are nasty things and I'm glad to hear you're doing well.
> 
> ...



Owie owie owie I've split fingernails before and it does not feal good. Hope you recover quickly.


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## PrincessFiona60 (Aug 14, 2014)

Zagut said:


> That's great that it doesn't hurt anymore.
> 
> Burns are nasty things and I'm glad to hear you're doing well.
> 
> ...



How in the world??? Ouch, Zagut!


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## Dawgluver (Aug 15, 2014)

He's a woodworker.  It happens!


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## Caslon (Aug 15, 2014)

What's challenging is  heating  up frying oil in the first place.

Cast Iron?

I may go to a cheapo electric if I only not to  have to constantly turn up and down the range top controls while frying.


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## Zagut (Aug 16, 2014)

PrincessFiona60 said:


> How in the world??? Ouch, Zagut!


 
My finger was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  
Sudden movement of heavy Ipe and "Ouch!"  Then "#$%^&*&^%$$%!!!" plus a few choice words I made up.  ..........Go stop the bleeding all over the work. Wrap it up and get back to it.

Been soaking it in peroxide and I think I might even be able to keep the nail. 




Caslon, Cast Iron is great material for retaining a constant heat level. But you've got to get it up to temp for awhile for it to stabilize.


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## Addie (Aug 16, 2014)

Zagut said:


> My finger was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
> Sudden movement of heavy Ipe and "Ouch!"  Then "#$%^&*&^%$$%!!!" plus a few choice words I made up.  ..........Go stop the bleeding all over the work. Wrap it up and get back to it.
> 
> Been soaking it in peroxide and I think I might even be able to keep the nail.
> ...



You silly person. Losing a whole nail can be painful also. You have to keep the bed covered and pray real hard that you don't bump it. You will make up a whole new dance if you do. A couple of years ago I had a very bad flare up of the psoriasis and it happened under three of my fingernails. The fingernails fell off and left me with the bed exposed. PAIN you didn't know could existed when you bump it. Then when the nail started to grow back, it did so in layers. So today I keep them cut down to the quick so they can't get caught on anything and ripped off. I used to have nice long nails. The kind you see in commercials for nail polish.


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## PrincessFiona60 (Aug 16, 2014)

Zagut said:


> My finger was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
> Sudden movement of heavy Ipe and "Ouch!"  Then "#$%^&*&^%$$%!!!" plus a few choice words I made up.  ..........Go stop the bleeding all over the work. Wrap it up and get back to it.
> 
> Been soaking it in peroxide and I think I might even be able to keep the nail.
> ...



I've split a finger nail from tip to quick, the pain was horrendous.  Lost a toenail when I dropped a rolling pin and it hit my toe handle first.  I am now missing that toenail permanently as it refused to grow back correctly and had it surgically removed.

Odd how such a small thing as a finger or toenail can be so painful when messed with.


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## Chief Longwind Of The North (Aug 16, 2014)

PrincessFiona60 said:


> I've split a finger nail from tip to quick, the pain was horrendous.  Lost a toenail when I dropped a rolling pin and it hit my toe handle first.  I am now missing that toenail permanently as it refused to grow back correctly and had it surgically removed.
> 
> Odd how such a small thing as a finger or toenail can be so painful when messed with.



Lost one fingernail twice as a teenager.  the first time was when getting home from the movies with a friend.  When I shut the car door, I got the tip of that finger caught in the door.  It ripped the nail off.  At the time, it hurt, but nothing I couldn't handle.  It bled profusely.  My buddy's mom wrapped it in a bandaid, and I was good to go.  However, lying in bed, the finger swelled, smelled horrible, and throbbed until it brought silent tears.  Teenage boys don't cry, you know.  It took a good week to heal, and then the naill grew back perfectly.  I do have a scar on that finger thought.

The 2nd time, on the same finger, I was helping a cousin cut wood with a chainsaw.  He was operating the saw.  I was applying pressure to the end of the log to keep the chain from binding.  When he got all the way through, my end dropped, pinching the end of that same finger between the log end I was pushing on, and another log end right next to it.  Yep, lost the fingernail again.  Yep, blood, swelling, throbbing pain with ever heartbeat.  Again, the nail came back perfectly.

I don't recommend losing a fingernail do to crushing the end of a finger.  It hurts like crazy.  Learn from my mistakes and don't repeat them.  You'll make enough other ones of your own.  Like P.S.G.'s burned finger .

Seeeeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North


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## Roll_Bones (Aug 17, 2014)

Caslon said:


> What's challenging is  heating  up frying oil in the first place.
> 
> Cast Iron?
> 
> I may go to a cheapo electric if I only not to  have to constantly turn up and down the range top controls while frying.



We use a Fry Daddy for everyday small amounts of food, but use a deep AL fry pan for frying chicken and larger items.
I start the heat on high, then lower to just above medium and never have to readjust the heat again.
I have electric burners.


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## GotGarlic (Aug 17, 2014)

Caslon said:


> What's challenging is  heating  up frying oil in the first place.
> 
> Cast Iron?
> 
> I may go to a cheapo electric if I only not to  have to constantly turn up and down the range top controls while frying.



If you have enough oil, you only need to wait a couple of minutes for the oil to get back up to temperature after adding food. Just don't add too much at once and you shouldn't have to adjust the burners. I don't fry much, but when I do, I use a stainless steel Dutch oven and have a gas stove.


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## Addie (Aug 17, 2014)

A lot of folks have a problem adjusting to using electric after having gas for so many years. Eventually they learn, if the burner is too hot, remove the pan from the heat until the burner cools down some. I have had both. I prefer gas, but one doesn't always get what one wants. You have to take what you are given. One of the tricks I have learned is I turn the burner on before I even get the pan out. That way it is heating up to the temp I want. Saves me a lot of waiting time. While I am filling up the pot with water for pasta, the burner is heating up.


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