# Dear Santa



## mish (Dec 19, 2005)

Back by popular demand - Dear Santa. Write your letter here:

http://members.aol.com/frogiearno/dearsanta.htm


----------



## 240brickman (Dec 19, 2005)

LOL....that was a fun way to kill 10 minutes!

Apparently, I've driven my tractor into my neighbor's porch.  As a result, I've been arrested for Aggravated Assault  (how could I be aggravated if I was asleep at the time?).  Not a big deal, though, because my bail is only 34 dollars.

I wish I could remember that night!


----------



## mudbug (Dec 19, 2005)

Dear Santa,
 I have been a good girl. 
It really wasn't my fault what happened at cac's Office party. It was gary who spiked the punch with too much wine. I can't help it if I drank 7 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like fresh cut grass. 
I thought it was funny when I put karroll's undershirt on my head and danced the waltz on the couch while singing `Layla'. I didn't mean to break cac's computer and don't know why cac would accuse me of murder. 
I don't remember calling bill's wife a sleazy cow---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and green lipstick! 
And when I threw up on bernadette's husband's bicep, it was only because I ate too much of that cheese. 
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my jeep through my neighbor's porch. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a moronic cat and have me arrested for theft! So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all easy and big. And I'm really not to blame for any of this weird stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and slowly yours,
mudbug (Really a nice girl!) P.S. It's only 10 bucks!</B>


----------



## mish (Dec 19, 2005)

A moronic cat?


----------



## mudbug (Dec 19, 2005)

actually, I'm more like a slightly challenged cat.  I usually land on three paws.


----------



## mish (Dec 19, 2005)

mudbug said:
			
		

> actually, I'm more like a slightly challenged cat. I usually land on three paws.


 
While singing "Layla."    Thanks, Mud.  I should go back, do it again (ugh) & paste mine here.


----------



## pdswife (Dec 19, 2005)

Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,
 I have been a good Girl. 
It really wasn't my fault what happened at LeeAnn's Office party. It was Toni who spiked the punch with too much Kaluha and Cream. I can't help it if I drank 22 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like vanilla. 
I thought it was funny when I put Cheryl's sock on my head and danced the hula on the sofa while singing `Seasons in the sun'. I didn't mean to break LeeAnn's razon and don't know why LeeAnn would accuse me of theft. 
I don't remember calling Rob's wife a sweet piglet---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and green lipstick! 
And when I threw up on Beth's husband's toenail, it was only because I ate too much of that apple pie. 
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Chevy Colorado through my neighbor's front steps. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a sour kitty cat and have me arrested for Bank robbery! So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all tiny tiny and Giant. And I'm really not to blame for any of this cranky stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and slowly yours,
Trish (Really a nice Girl!) P.S. It's only 333 bucks!


----------



## 240brickman (Dec 19, 2005)

(attention:  the following statements are ENTIRELY FICTIONAL)

pds...I happen to know that Rob's wife IS a sweet piglet...and a MIGHTY fine one at that.  After downing 22 kaluhas,  I would have been all over her!


...you're not to blame.

The judge must have been cranky, though...setting your bail so high.


    --J


----------



## pdswife (Dec 19, 2005)

240brickman said:
			
		

> (attention:  the following statements are ENTIRELY FICTIONAL)
> 
> pds...I happen to know that Rob's wife IS a sweet piglet...and a MIGHTY fine one at that. After downing 22 kaluhas, I would have been all over her!
> 
> ...




LOLOL!   She's sweet.. but I don't think she's a piglet.  
The judge was a brat!  heheheheh!


----------



## Barbara L (Dec 19, 2005)

Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,
 I have been a good girl. 
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Christi's Office party. It was Patricia who spiked the punch with too much Midori Sour. I can't help it if I drank 6 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like cinnamon. 
I thought it was funny when I put Melma's blouse on my head and danced the Macarena on the computer chair while singing `The Lion Sleeps Tonight'. I didn't mean to break Christi's scientific calculator and don't know why Christi would accuse me of breaking and entering. 
I don't remember calling Caroll's wife a lovely cow---even though she looked like one with peacock blue eye shadow and scarlet lipstick! 
And when I threw up on Dana's husband's arm, it was only because I ate too much of that tostada. 
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Ford Mustang through my neighbor's kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a flabby guinea pig and have me arrested for identity theft! So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all rotund and purple. And I'm really not to blame for any of this active stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and quickly yours,
Barbara (Really a nice girl!) P.S. It's only 5 bucks!</B>




Frogie's Website

Oh goodness!  Caroll is my pastor and his wife is our Sunday School teacher!  LOL

 Barbara


----------



## Raven (Dec 20, 2005)

Santa  Claus
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,
    I have been a good  boy. It really wasn't my fault what happened at Robert's Office party. It was  Ernie who spiked the punch with too much Grenadine. I can't help it if I drank 9  glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Cabbage. 
I thought it was funny when I put Robert's panty hose on my head and danced  the Fruge on the Coffee Table while singing `Boston's Foreplay/Longtime'. I  didn't mean to break Robert's iPod and don't know why Robert would accuse me of  Putting Ketchup in the Lobster Bisque. 
I don't remember calling Ernie's wife a Mangy Jackelope---even though she  looked like one with Chartruse eye shadow and Camoflauge lipstick! 
And when I threw up on Kelly's husband's Hair, it was only because I ate too  much of that Fish. 
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way  home and drove my Bicycle through my neighbor's Chimney. I don't think that was  any reason for my neighbor to call me a Pregnant Hog and have me arrested for  Putting Broccoli in the Cranberry Sauce! 
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all tired and  hungover. And I'm really not to blame for any of this party stuff. Please  bring me what I want the most---bail money!
   Sincerely and Quickly yours,
Raven (Really a nice boy!) 
P.S. It's only 12 bucks!





~ Raven ~


----------



## cartwheelmac (Dec 20, 2005)

Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl. 
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Ken's Office party. It was middie who spiked the punch with too much Sprite. I can't help it if I drank 13 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Rainstorm. 
I thought it was funny when I put Piccolina's pants on my head and danced the hip-hop on the couch while singing `All Star'. I didn't mean to break buckytom's Computer and don't know why buckytom would accuse me of theivery. 
I don't remember calling Maidrite's wife a green pig---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and green lipstick! 
And when I threw up on Alix's husband's armpit, it was only because I ate too much of that bread. 
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my 15 passenger van through my neighbor's kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a tall tiger and have me arrested for lying! So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all cool and smart. And I'm really not to blame for any of this sweet stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and quickly yours,
Cameron (Really a nice girl!) P.S. It's only 13 bucks!</B>





Cameron


----------



## mudbug (Dec 20, 2005)

I'll get Barbara out of jail (only five bucks).  Trish, darlin, you're gonna hafta stay in da joint.


----------



## pdswife (Dec 20, 2005)

NOOOO, don't leave me here!!  The "girl" in the next cell is giving me funny looks!


----------



## middie (Dec 20, 2005)

Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,
 I have been a good girl. 
It really wasn't my fault what happened at jamie's Office party. It was don who spiked the punch with too much pepsi. I can't help it if I drank 13 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like jovan white musk. 
I thought it was funny when I put jamie's shirt on my head and danced the waltz on the couch while singing `Main Street'. I didn't mean to break jamie's d.v.d. recorder and don't know why jamie would accuse me of grand theft auto. 
I don't remember calling jim's wife a running horse---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and red lipstick! 
And when I threw up on nicole's husband's arm, it was only because I ate too much of that steak. 
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my 1965 Mustang through my neighbor's roof. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a smiling wolf and have me arrested for arson! So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all biting and screaming. And I'm really not to blame for any of this laughing stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and sleeping yours,
desiree (Really a nice girl!) P.S. It's only 23 bucks!</B>



roflmbo this is hysterical


----------



## middie (Dec 23, 2005)

i think this is too funny so i'm bumping it up


----------



## Maidrite (Dec 24, 2005)

Dear Santa Claus  
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,
I have been a good Boy.  
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Deadly Sushi's  Office party. It was Buckytom  who spiked the punch with too much Everclear. I can't help it if I drank 98 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Down wind of a pig lot. 
I thought it was funny when I put Buckytom's Coonskin cap on my head and danced the Street Rap on the Bar Stool while singing `Welcome to the Jungle'. I didn't mean to break Deadly Sushi's Cattle Prod and don't know why Deadly Sushi would accuse me of Cow Tipping !. 
I don't remember calling Ken's  wife a Little Kitty---even though she looked like one with Green eye shadow and Red lipstick! 
And when I threw up on Alix's  husband's Back, it was only because I ate too much of that cheese.  
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my hummer through my neighbor's Bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a Sewer soaked Rat  and have me arrested for trespassing! So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all dumb and big. And I'm really not to blame for any of this purple stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and sleepily yours,
James (Really a nice Boy!) P.S. It's only 14 bucks!


----------



## cara (Dec 26, 2005)

Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,
 I have been a good girl. 
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Delia's Office party. It was Ruedi who spiked the punch with too much mulled wine. I can't help it if I drank 21 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like vanilla. 
I thought it was funny when I put Ulli's trousers on my head and danced the Tango on the bed while singing `Eternity'. I didn't mean to break Delia's DVD Player and don't know why Delia would accuse me of robber. 
I don't remember calling Markus's wife a warm cow---even though she looked like one with green eye shadow and blue lipstick! 
And when I threw up on sabine's husband's arm, it was only because I ate too much of that rump steak. 
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Lucy through my neighbor's bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a pretty whale and have me arrested for murder! So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all dry and great. And I'm really not to blame for any of this cold stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and later yours,
cara (Really a nice girl!) P.S. It's only 21 bucks!


----------



## TXguy (Jan 2, 2006)

Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth



Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Chance Terry's Office party. It was Mr. Pirtle who spiked the punch with too much Coke. I can't help it if I drank 19 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like English Leather Cologne.

I thought it was funny when I put Karen Cross's shoes on my head and danced the Macarena on the Couch while singing `Money Can't buy me love'. I didn't mean to break Chance Terry's iPod and don't know why Chance Terry would accuse me of Murder.

I don't remember calling Mr. Terry's wife a fastest Horse---even though she looked like one with Navy Blue eye shadow and Ruby Red lipstick!

And when I threw up on Mrs. Cross's husband's foot, it was only because I ate too much of that Pizza.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Saleen S7 Twin Turbo through my neighbor's Bay Window. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a slowest Electric Eel and have me arrested for Suicide!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all smooth and rough. And I'm really not to blame for any of this nice stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and Truly yours,
Scotty B. (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 9000 bucks!


----------

