# Something to think about



## GotGarlic (Feb 14, 2013)

Posted on Facebook: "Don't yuck on someone else's yum."

We all have our likes and dislikes, but I'd like to suggest that, unless a poster specifically asks whether we like or dislike something, we refrain from negative comments on someone else's meal or suggestion. It's disheartening when someone enthusiastically describes something they enjoyed and someone follows up with "Oh, yuck, that's gross."


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## Andy M. (Feb 14, 2013)

If someone were to post an enthusiastic and effusive review of eye of newt soup with lizard snout puree, your request for no negative comments would probably result in a single post thread.


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## pacanis (Feb 14, 2013)

I'd have to agree with Andy.
If it wasn't for folks popping in just to say how much they dislike something or to tell someone else that they are doing it wrong, the post count would plummet.
At least it shows you their true colors.


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## GotGarlic (Feb 14, 2013)

I guess I didn't think a high post count was the goal here.


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## GotGarlic (Feb 14, 2013)

Andy M. said:


> If someone were to post an enthusiastic and effusive review of eye of newt soup with lizard snout puree, your request for no negative comments would probably result in a single post thread.



Let's not go to extremes


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## Snip 13 (Feb 14, 2013)

I don't take offense if people don't like what I do, we all have individual tastes and I'm fine with that. 
If someone says a recipe that someone else created is gross, that's rude but if they don't like an ingredient because of personal taste it's fine.
Just my opinion.


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## Barbara L (Feb 14, 2013)

I agree with GG and Snip about the rudeness part.  I don't have a problem with someone politely saying they don't like something, but there is never any good reason to be rude about it.


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## Andy M. (Feb 14, 2013)

GotGarlic said:


> Let's not go to extremes



I was simply trying to make a point in response to your, "Oh, yuck, that's gross."comment.

Positive and negative comments are part of what happens here as they are a part of many discussions.  I would hope for more than, "Oh, yuck, that's gross."in a post but if nothing else, it stimulates discussion.  All who disagree may simply ignore it.


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## GotGarlic (Feb 14, 2013)

Andy M. said:


> I was simply trying to make a point in response to your, "Oh, yuck, that's gross."comment.
> 
> Positive and negative comments are part of what happens here as they are a part of many discussions.  I would hope for more than, "Oh, yuck, that's gross."in a post but if nothing else, it stimulates discussion.  All who disagree may simply ignore it.



That's my point - you can't ignore it. You're reading a thread about someone's idea or enjoyment of something and suddenly someone says, "Eww, I've never liked that," or "Yuk, that grosses me out"  Now you're feeling bad instead of good and you can't unread it.


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## Andy M. (Feb 14, 2013)

It would be pretty to think that no one ever had an opinion that differed from yours but it's not the real world.  Not every opposing response is accompanied by a YUK! a EWW or a GROSS.


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## GotGarlic (Feb 14, 2013)

Andy M. said:


> It would be pretty to think that no one ever had an opinion that differed from yours but it's not the real world.  Not every opposing response is accompanied by a YUK! a EWW or a GROSS.



Not sure why you keep going to the extreme  I did not say "no one ever [should have] an opinion [different from mine]" or that "every opposing response is accompanied by a YUK! a EWW or a GROSS." 

I said: 'Posted on Facebook: "Don't yuck on someone else's yum." '

Not sure why this is so controversial, actually. Sorry if I'm not making myself clear, but please don't add things I did not actually say.


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## Andy M. (Feb 14, 2013)

GotGarlic said:


> ...unless a poster specifically asks whether we like or dislike something, *we refrain from negative comments*...





GotGarlic said:


> ...I did not say "no one ever [should have] an opinion [different from mine]"...




You asked that no one post negative comments.  I guess I should have said, ...no one should ever *post* an opinion..."


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## CharlieD (Feb 14, 2013)

I think it not reasonable to expect that nobody would voice a disagreement, maybe even a strong one on the public forum like this one. We have hundreds people reading posts here and maybe just as many commenting.
 I personally do not find "yuk" or "eww" rude, those are just fine with me. As long As somebody doesn't call me names, or we have had some posters here who always had something negative to say about everything that was posted. Thanks to our moderators they are no longer here. In all the truth some of the Russian stuff I like to eat, I am surprised I haven't been ban from this forum for simply posting those recipes. They must be total yuk to an average American, just like peanut butter is to me. 
 What I  trying to say is as long as it is polite conversation we are ok.


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## CWS4322 (Feb 14, 2013)

I agree with CharlieD. We don't all think the same things are delicious. Although I like liver, the DH does not and thinks not only is it gross but it is yuck. I don't eat hotdogs, bananas, processed cheese, Velveeta, CheezWhiz, sardines, canned soups, tuna (except fresh) or canned peas. These foods just aren't on my shopping list. Because of financial restraints, I have to cook using what I have on hand. And, prepare things from scratch because I can and I cannot justify buying the ready-made variety (tortillas, bread, etc.)


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## Kayelle (Feb 14, 2013)

I understand what GG is saying and I think some are blowing it out of all proportion for some reason.



Barbara L said:


> I agree with GG and Snip about the rudeness part.  I don't have a problem with someone politely saying they don't like something, but there is never any good reason to be rude about it.



+1


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## PrincessFiona60 (Feb 14, 2013)

Oh we are a contentious bunch...

No, that wasn't the word on my page-a-day calendar.


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## Rocklobster (Feb 14, 2013)

I hate this thread.


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## Andy M. (Feb 14, 2013)

Rocklobster said:


> I hate this thread.




If you can't say something nice...


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## Rocklobster (Feb 14, 2013)

so they say...


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## Dawgluver (Feb 14, 2013)

I was thinking about where to post this, sounds like the right place.

DH and I went to our nearest Costco, and of course, had a few samples.  Two of them were cooked salmon.  I supressed a gag reflex and promptly spit the first one into the garbage can.  To me, it was nasty!  DH thought it was wonderful.  The next one, DH stated it was delish, and told me I would like it much better than the first sample salmon.  OMG.  Pthw.  Spit spit.  It was worse, at least to me!  We ate out of the same sample cup.  Obviously, our salmon taste buds differ, as do our Brussels sprouts and liver buds, as DH loves both of those too!  And I don't.


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## kadesma (Feb 14, 2013)

Snip 13 said:


> I don't take offense if people don't like what I do, we all have individual tastes and I'm fine with that.
> If someone says a recipe that someone else created is gross, that's rude but if they don't like an ingredient because of personal taste it's fine.
> Just my opinion.


 I agree, but find it best to just not say anything at all then find a post that is perfect for my taste and make a coment to the OP about how I like the idea 
kades


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## PrincessFiona60 (Feb 14, 2013)

Dawgluver said:


> I was thinking about where to post this, sounds like the right place.
> 
> DH and I went to our nearest Costco, and of course, had a few samples.  Two of them were cooked salmon.  I supressed a gag reflex and promptly spit the first one into the garbage can.  To me, it was nasty!  DH thought it was wonderful.  The next one, DH stated it was delish, and told me I would like it much better than the first sample salmon.  OMG.  Pthw.  Spit spit.  It was worse, at least to me!  We ate out of the same sample cup.  Obviously, our salmon taste buds differ, as do our Brussels sprouts and liver buds, as DH loves both of those too!  And I don't.



There are two places Shrek will eat liver...at home and a local diner.  That's it, everywhere else it yucky, even the liver his Mother made.  He never liked it until I made it the first time.

Shrek has also decided he despises brussels sprouts...no problem, now i don;t have to buy them


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## Snip 13 (Feb 15, 2013)

Come now children, lets not argue now!


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## buckytom (Feb 15, 2013)

i can see both sides of the argument, but i fall into the freedom to express one's opinion side. the problem is deciding when it's rude. that can be a perspective thing.

i once posted that i thought a recipe that someone was going to try (not her own recipe, but one she found online and hadn't tried yet) was disgusting imo for a few reasons, and it got edited because i wasn't supposed to say "disgusting".

once bitten, twice shy might eventually make people not want to post their opinion at all in any case.

fortunately, i'm not shy.


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## Blue Butterfly (Feb 15, 2013)

I agree with Andy M. If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all. (Courtesy of Thumper from Bambi.)  Everyone is entitled to have an opinion but don't be mean and hurt someones feelings if you don't have to!!


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## buckytom (Feb 15, 2013)

my point was that there are grey areas, and there is also a person's perspective on what is simple disagreement and what is simply rude, or both. 

the person i mentioned was going to try something new to them, and i thought that the shortcut they were going to use would ruin the dish.

i was stating an opinion from experience, and it was taken as offensive.

was that rude? it wasn't intended as such, but some people take offense very easily.

what's the point of discussing things if it can only be about sunshine and daisies?

unless you're just growing daisies, lol


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## Blue Butterfly (Feb 15, 2013)

I do understand.  There are grey areas.  It is very difficult sometimes. I know your intentions were good and you didn't mean to be offensive


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## Snip 13 (Feb 15, 2013)

This is a sensitive topic but in my opinion it depends on the situation.

I would never say something is gross or disgusting if I don't know the person posting but on the other hand I will mention my dislike of an ingredient if the person posting is a friend. 
Like for example my complete dislike of chicken lol! I often comment on Kades, Kylie, LP, PF, Addie and Pac's threads for example and say "gross chicken" but the sauce or method sound great and maybe I'll try it with something else.

I would never be rude. If I don't like the recipe at all, I won't comment.

If someone askes for an opinion I will be as honest as possible without hurting someone's feelings.

Touchy subject I guess.


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## Snip 13 (Feb 15, 2013)

Just as an after thought. I don't think GG meant to say that no one must have an opinion, she was just sharing something posted on FB and that we should think before posting since some posts may end up hurting people's feelings. I also understand what Andy meant, we shoud be able to post our opinions without feeling like we've done something wrong. I think they are both right in their own way.


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## buckytom (Feb 15, 2013)

the problem is that some people are very sensitive, and some people are perceived as being rude, and/or both.

touchy, indeed!


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## Snip 13 (Feb 15, 2013)

buckytom said:


> the problem is that some people are very sensitive, and some people are perceived as being rude, and/or both.
> 
> touchy, indeed!


 
I agree and I'm going to stop commenting now before I put my foot in it


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## vitauta (Feb 15, 2013)

i thought to myself:  'interesting thread.  though, the very mention of fb might have planted the kiss of death smack dab onto an otherwise potentially interesting discussion.'  

then, i thought:  what do i truly think about negative comments posted in threads?  no, really.  what is my opinion? and the answer is:  um, i can see a number of sides to this question....

then i thought: i know, i'll just wait and see what bt has to say before weighing in on this one.  bt is a master at balancing blunt honesty with extreme sensitivity. (it takes a very steady hand to thread that needle.)

so then bt posted. and i thought: well, that didn't help me make up my mind at all. let's see, wwjd?...i think i will just have to leave this one for fb to figure out....


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## GotGarlic (Feb 15, 2013)

I really do love the lively discussions we have here  

I should not have said "negative comments." That just muddled things up. 

To me, saying "Eww, that's gross," is like throwing a worm on someone's plate. It ruins the experience. It's not the same as expressing a difference of opinion. That's all I was trying to say. Now, feel free to continue the debate lol

PS. I can't wait to see who is the first to say, I love worms!


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## tinlizzie (Feb 15, 2013)

I think part of the problem here is not being acquainted with the poster's sense of humor or lack thereof.  Some of us innocently post frivilous remarks  that may be taken seriously or at least differently by those of us with a more literal inclination.  Even adding a smilie is not always a cure for this.  More to be hoped is that folks on a public forum will find that just shrugging off ill-received remarks is perhaps more helpful.   Not that anything goes, as someone already noted; the moderators, with judicious editing, keep us mostly civil.  Yes, I know some folks may try to pass off rudeness by saying, "can't you take a joke," but as someone else here mentioned, true colors will usually come out.

Standing down from the soapbox now.


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## buckytom (Feb 15, 2013)

lol, thanks vit.

umm, i think. wait, were you just being funny, 'cause that would be rude... 

i often admire people who only have nice things to say. there's a certain grace to that.
but i've learned that it's not always what it seems to be. 

some people really do only have nice things to say from the serenity in their hearts. they hold little resentment which allows the beauty of their soul to guide them and shine through.

other people only say nice things because they want to be perceived as being nice, and they hold back the resentful and blacker parts of their mind in that effort. that is neither graceful nor serene, just fake. 

when i see the latter in people, i don't worry about chucking a worm on their plate. 

my soul is far too restless to be peaceful, and i'm aware of that. there's too many jokes to be told, too many debates to be argued. maybe someday i'll find that serenity i admire, but t probably won't be today.

the point is you should try to ve honest with yourself and others, and if you offend anyone or are offended, be willing to apologize or forgive, respectively. then you can live without fear and laugh on a daily basis.


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## Snip 13 (Feb 15, 2013)

I know I'm a bit forward sometimes. I take honesty a bit too far and I have to think before I post. I've never tried to offend anyone but I only give compliments or comments if I think something is good. I speak my mind, always have. I would just like to say if something I post comes across as being rude, please tell me. I prefer blunt honesty. Most of us are friends here and I think we can handle good and bad comments if they are meant well.


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## Cerise (Feb 15, 2013)

Rocklobster said:


> I hate this thread.


 
Threads of this nature tend to go downhill quickly, & eventually are locked. It doesn't serve a purpose, other than complaining.

I am not a member of Facebook, so I am not familiar with their rules.  However, there are rules in place here. I try to overlook stupid comments, & consider the source, until they become vicious, snarky & repetitive.  This site has a report abuse feature, & an ignore feature. Encouraging a debate is not what I come here for.  I enjoy sharing recipes & talking about cooking.

IMO, this thread has gotten out of control, with replies expecting apologies & character judgements.  

Personally, I don't have the time & patience for members that sign up because they need attention, stroking, & repeatedly cause problems.

Stick to the rules, & don't get personal.


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## Addie (Feb 15, 2013)

GotGarlic said:


> I really do love the lively discussions we have here
> 
> I should not have said "negative comments." That just muddled things up.
> 
> ...


 
I love worms. I am one of those folks who will pick them up after a rainstorm from the cement sidewalk and put them back on top of the soil.


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## GotGarlic (Feb 15, 2013)

Addie said:


> I love worms. I am one of those folks who will pick them up after a rainstorm from the cement sidewalk and put them back on top of the soil.



I like worms, too - couldn't compost without them. But I don't want them in my food!


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## Rocklobster (Feb 15, 2013)

Cerise said:


> Threads of this nature tend to go downhill quickly, & eventually are locked. It doesn't serve a purpose, other than complaining.
> 
> I am not a member of Facebook, so I am not familiar with their rules.  However, there are rules in place here. I try to overlook stupid comments, & consider the source, until they become vicious, snarky & repetitive.  This site has a report abuse feature, & an ignore feature. Encouraging a debate is not what I come here for.  I enjoy sharing recipes & talking about cooking.
> 
> ...


I was just kidding and making lite of people complaining about threads....should have put a winking eye smiley....As far as tastes go, each to his own. I agree with letting things slide.


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## Addie (Feb 15, 2013)

Rocklobster said:


> I was just kidding and making lite of people complaining about threads....should have put a winking eye smiley....As far as tastes go, each to his own. I agree with letting things slide.


 
Why create problems where there aren't any.


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## Rocklobster (Feb 15, 2013)

Addie said:


> Why create problems where there aren't any.


I assumed people around here knew me well enough to realize that I wasn't serious. I rarely, if ever, state my displeasure on here. Sorry if I caused anybody any discomfort.

On the other hand,

We should be careful not to create an environment that is too sterile.  That would be kind of boring, no?  Remember freedom of speech? That's kind of a cool thing, I think. Something the free world holds in high regard..The mods are here to deal with aggressive and vulgar posters. The rest is opinion which is within our rights to have and voice.
How practical strangers feel about my culinary tastes is the least of my worries....let people state their opinions. I don't expect everybody to like everything I, or anybody else, makes or likes


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## GotGarlic (Feb 15, 2013)

Rocklobster said:


> I assumed people around here knew me well enough to realize that I wasn't serious. I rarely, if ever, state my displeasure on here. Sorry if I caused anybody any discomfort.
> 
> On the other hand,
> 
> ...



I knew you were kidding, Rock 

This thread has gotten much more serious than I ever thought it would or intended it to be. Sorry about that. I hope people know, though, that I never said people should not be able to express their opinions or disagree with someone, nor do I think that's how a forum should operate. I'm pretty outspoken and opinionated myself - ask anyone!

It wouldn't hurt my feelings if a mod decided to close this thread


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## Alix (Feb 15, 2013)

All really a matter of perception isn't it? Take this thread for example. I didn't see anything to get worked up about, but some folks seemed to get a bit ruffled over this. On any given day someone might take offense at something that might pass by completely unnoticed another. 

We need to be a bit sensitive to others but at the same time, self aware. If you're finding yourself getting bent out of shape perhaps its not the posts but something else in your life that's upsetting. 

I try to think about the person I'm speaking to when I post. I might not use the same language to Addie that I would to buckytom. (Hahahahaha...oh boy do I want to post some stuff here) Hopefully we can all just remember that polite goes a long way.


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## Addie (Feb 15, 2013)

It takes a lot to upset me. When someone creates a post that might be offensive, I always try to remember that it is only a point of view. 

Remember in the Sauce thread a new poster came on rather strong. Finally after a few responses to other posts, I asked him if one of us had done something to offend him. He was coming across as angry. But no, it was just his personality to come across in a strong manner. He had one point of view and only one. Nothing was going to change his mind. That's okay by me. You don't have to keep your opinion to yourself. And I don't have to agree with you. Nor do I wish to argue with you. We each had our say.


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## buckytom (Feb 15, 2013)

Alix said:


> I might not use the same language to Addie that I would to buckytom. (Hahahahaha...oh boy do I want to post some stuff here) Hopefully we can all just remember that polite goes a long way.



lol. you know, the funny part is that i feel a certain sense of sympatico with addie, of which i am the lucky one. 

the spirit of this thread seems to be about personal responsibility, both for speaking your mnd without intentionally being rude (unless on a rare occasion it is deserved ), but also not to take things so personally that you report everything you din't like and expect the mods to enforce the rules at every turn. that puts an unnecessary burden upon them, and when they have to act no one is all that happy afterwards.


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## vitauta (Feb 15, 2013)

Alix said:


> All really a matter of perception isn't it? Take this thread for example. I didn't see anything to get worked up about, but some folks seemed to get a bit ruffled over this. On any given day someone might take offense at something that might pass by completely unnoticed another.
> 
> We need to be a bit sensitive to others but at the same time, self aware. If you're finding yourself getting bent out of shape perhaps its not the posts but something else in your life that's upsetting.
> 
> I try to think about the person I'm speaking to when I post. I might not use the same language to Addie that I would to buckytom. (Hahahahaha...oh boy do I want to post some stuff here) Hopefully we can all just remember that polite goes a long way.



that's entirely right, i agree that polite goes a long way.  So, for heaven's sake folks, don't overdo it--use it very sparingly!


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## buckytom (Feb 15, 2013)

rofl, vit!!!   

btw, the long sobs of autumn violins wound my heart with a monotonous langour.


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## vitauta (Feb 15, 2013)

buckytom said:


> rofl, vit!!!
> 
> btw, the long sobs of autumn violins wound my heart with a monotonous langour.




your languorous ennui can be summarily deactivated  by dd's peugeot 007 being double-parked again at walmart. btw, the meter maid commences circling, circling....

bt, we can always count on you to bring the humor when it's needed. however,  today you have stooped to eloquence....
(thanks)


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## Alix (Feb 15, 2013)

buckytom said:


> lol. you know, the funny part is that i feel a certain sense of sympatico with addie, of which i am the lucky one.
> 
> the spirit of this thread seems to be about personal responsibility, both for speaking your mnd without intentionally being rude (unless on a rare occasion it is deserved ), but also not to take things so personally that you report everything you din't like and expect the mods to enforce the rules at every turn. that puts an unnecessary burden upon them, and when they have to act no one is all that happy afterwards.


Listen brat, you know what I mean. I'm certainly not going to tell Addie to take a flying leap into the goose poop like I would YOU!  



vitauta said:


> that's entirely right, i agree that polite goes a long way.  So, for heaven's sake folks, don't overdo it--use it very sparingly!



I stand by my sig line. And you're a BIGGER brat.


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## vitauta (Feb 15, 2013)

Alix said:


> Listen brat, you know what I mean. I'm certainly not going to tell Addie to take a flying leap into the goose poop like I would YOU!
> 
> 
> 
> I stand by my sig line. And you're a BIGGER brat.



now alix, now would be a perfect time to exercise some of that courtesy of yours...direct it my way.  c'mon---addie?  you feel the need to protect addie?  if we were choosing up teams, i'd pick addie First to be on my side--she is a fierce opponent, and addie takes no prisoners...and, and, she likes Worms for cryin' out loud!!!


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## buckytom (Feb 15, 2013)

good morning, worm your honor. the crown will plainly show the prisoner who now stands before you was caught red-handed showing feelings, showing feelings of an almost human nature. 

this will not do. 

call the schoolmaster!


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## vitauta (Feb 16, 2013)

buckytom said:


> good morning, worm your honor. the crown will plainly show the prisoner who now stands before you was caught red-handed showing feelings, showing feelings of an almost human nature.
> 
> this will not do.
> 
> call the schoolmaster!




yy-es, i admit it, i h-have feelings, sir, and you have h-hurt them, hurt them ba-ad. 
the defense rests, your honor.  it is now to be placed in the hands of this singularly sensitive jury that i cleverly culled from the pool, managing to disqualify most every one of the rude prospective jurors during voir dire.

ah now, the worm will turn....


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## Addie (Feb 16, 2013)

Alix said:


> Listen brat, you know what I mean. I'm certainly not going to tell Addie to take a flying leap into the goose poop like I would YOU!
> 
> I stand by my sig line. And you're a BIGGER brat.


 
Hey, I resemble that remark. I like flying as well as the next person. Even if it is to the goose poop. I don't get out much you know, so any trip is exciting to me. Goos Poop here I come!


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## PrincessFiona60 (Feb 16, 2013)

Addie said:


> Hey, I resemble that remark. I like flying as well as the next person. Even if it is to the goose poop. I don't get out much you know, so any trip is exciting to me. Goos Poop here I come!



I was sure it was the leap part that would sl.ow you down.


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