# Old Venting Thread



## Alix

OK, inspired by Brooksy's bad day yesterday I thought I would post this thread for folks to vent those petty things that make us nuts.

Mine is sewing related. My thread keeps breaking, my bobbin ran out and when I tried to refill it the stupid thing went flying somewhere across the room and the thread wound around the post instead. ARGH!  So, I am here for a few minutes to regain my composure and stop swearing at the machine.


----------



## wasabi

Alix,

Take a deep breath, grab a snack, and start all over again. What are you sewing? I admire people who sew. I never got the hang of it. Good luck.


----------



## Alix

Thanks wasabi. I am trying to make some sleep shorts (boxers). My favourite pair just bought the farm and I am trying to copy the pattern. Unfortunately for me, I seem to be all thumbs today. 

Going to get some tea and that snack you recommended


----------



## PA Baker

Hope you have a better go at it after your snack, Alix!

Would you believe I was just telling someone  at lunch today that I'd love to learn to sew?  You have me rethinking that statement!


----------



## Alix

Its really not that hard to do unless you are having "One of those days". LOL. OK, I am almost ready to go back at it.


----------



## crewsk

Oh goody, a venting thread!! Where do I start? I got up at 6 this morning took the kids to school & was at my parents house to clean by 8. Well, I was digging through my moms box of rags for a dust cloth & got stung by a scorpion. Put some sting stuff on it only to discover that I had just put Icy Hot on it. Got that straightened out & went to clean the bathroom. All was going well until I got ready to mop. Well, I decided to be really nice & scrub the bathroom floor to get up all of mom's hair spray. I stepped in the mop bucket & sent it rolling across the floor. After I got that all cleaned up, the rest of the cleaning went smoothly. After cleaning I went to check on my grandma. She cut her leg Tuesday & had to have 12 stitches put in it. Well, while I was there she decided her bandage needed changing & I had to do it. Oh joy!! I hate the sight of blood!! Now, a gory movies doesn't faze me, but a real live persons blood makes my knees weak. I made it through changing the bandage with only 2 breaks for fresh air. I left my grandmas, went to the grocery store & was home by 12. When I pulled into the subdivision, someone had their van blocking the entrance because they were cutting down trees. It took me 20 minutes to find the back entrance to the subdivision!! Since then, all has gone well. Just keeping my fingers crossed that nothing else happens before I go to bed tonight! 

Ahhhh..... I feel better now!! Thanks Alix! Oh, I know how it feels to loose it with a sewing machine. I have wanted to toss mine out the window a time or 2.


----------



## Barbara L

Alix said:
			
		

> Its really not that hard to do unless you are having "One of those days". LOL. OK, I am almost ready to go back at it.


I love to sew.  I made all of Nancy's dresses when she was growing up.  The one thing I don't dare even attempt if I am not in the mood though, is a zipper.  If I am not in the mood to do a zipper, I will be taking it out and doing it again.  Maybe more than once!

 Barbara


----------



## licia

May I please add to the venting?  Monday my grandaughter was sick and couldn't drive (flu bug that made her dizzy and nauseous). She asked me to pick her son up from daycare and take him to her apartment. I did. When I came out a wrecker had put those boot things on my car and was about to haul it away.  I was beside myself and didn't know what was going on.  He said I could pay him $57.50 in cash now or $165 to get my car back later.  I didn't have $57.50 with me. My sick grandaughter took off to the atm and got money so I could get my car back.  It seems her complex has new rules about parking - nothing marked, you just have to know where you can park and where you can't.  It has thrown my entire week off. I've forgotten important things and have felt really out of sorts. Hope the next week is better.


----------



## GB

crewsk said:
			
		

> got stung by a scorpion.


OK please forgive my ignorance, but I am a simple Northern boy who has never seen a scorpion other than on TV. I thought they were poisonous and would kill you if you were stung. I am glad I was wrong for Crewsk sake.

Crewsk that sounds like some day! You need a nice big glass of wine.

My vent is that I have this horrible headache. I have had it since Tuesday night. Yesterday I even stayed home from work it was so bad. I just want it to go away and leave me alone!


----------



## crewsk

GB said:
			
		

> OK please forgive my ignorance, but I am a simple Northern boy who has never seen a scorpion other than on TV. I thought they were poisonous and would kill you if you were stung. I am glad I was wrong for Crewsk sake.
> 
> Crewsk that sounds like some day! You need a nice big glass of wine


 

Not all scorpions a poisonous. We have what's called wood scorpions around here. They are not real big & the sting feels like a bad bee sting. I've been stung before but it's always a shock!

I think I need to whole bottle!


----------



## licia

Crewsk, we have those too, had them worse when we used wood for the fireplace since they like to hide in the wood.  I got bit on my shoulder once and it felt like the sting went all the way to my bone. We had quite a time finding it, but dh knew from my description what had bit me. Glad they aren't like those in Mexico.


----------



## texasgirl

crewsk said:
			
		

> Oh goody, a venting thread!! Where do I start? I got up at 6 this morning took the kids to school & was at my parents house to clean by 8. Well, I was digging through my moms box of rags for a dust cloth & got stung by a scorpion. Put some sting stuff on it only to discover that I had just put Icy Hot on it. Got that straightened out & went to clean the bathroom. All was going well until I got ready to mop. Well, I decided to be really nice & scrub the bathroom floor to get up all of mom's hair spray. I stepped in the mop bucket & sent it rolling across the floor. After I got that all cleaned up, the rest of the cleaning went smoothly. After cleaning I went to check on my grandma. She cut her leg Tuesday & had to have 12 stitches put in it. Well, while I was there she decided her bandage needed changing & I had to do it. Oh joy!! I hate the sight of blood!! Now, a gory movies doesn't faze me, but a real live persons blood makes my knees weak. I made it through changing the bandage with only 2 breaks for fresh air. I left my grandmas, went to the grocery store & was home by 12. When I pulled into the subdivision, someone had their van blocking the entrance because they were cutting down trees. It took me 20 minutes to find the back entrance to the subdivision!! Since then, all has gone well. Just keeping my fingers crossed that nothing else happens before I go to bed tonight!
> 
> Ahhhh..... I feel better now!! Thanks Alix! Oh, I know how it feels to loose it with a sewing machine. I have wanted to toss mine out the window a time or 2.


 

  Wow crewsk. I hope the rest of your day is better!!!!


----------



## crewsk

Me too licia! My parents house is in the woods so they tend to get them pretty often even though they no longer have a wood burning stove.


Here's a couple of links about them for you GB. 
http://www.ruralfamilymedicine.org/CaseHistoryapu109.htm

http://hgic.clemson.edu/factsheets/HGIC2508.htm


----------



## GB

Thanks Crewsk. That is very interesting stuff!


----------



## crewsk

Thanks texasgirl!

GB, just reading it gives me the willies!!


----------



## middie

glad we don't have hem suckers up here.
though i DID see one in my house one year 
on mother's day. the only way i can possibly
think it got here was that it hitched a ride in
my purse when i worked at a flower shop.


----------



## Alix

Crewsk...make sure it is a MAGNUM bottle! You deserve it. 

licia, I think you have every right to be cranky about that. I think I would be sending blistering letters to the manager of the apartment complex, city hall and then every newspaper and TV station who would listen to me. Play up the gramma angle and I bet you will get your money back.

GB, YUCK to the headache! I know just how you feel and I am so sorry you have one! I keep trying different things to get rid of mine, but the only cure is to know what caused it and to fix THAT. I have been drinking LOTS of water when I get one now because I read that if you are properly hydrated your headache will go away faster. 

You all have made me feel much better. Thanks for venting with me. Update, I think I have fixed the issue on my machine. I have finished on pair of shorts and they seem to be fine (copying from a hunk of the original shorts, no pattern available) so I will now cut out a couple more pairs.


----------



## Ken

Is it safe to come home yet?


----------



## texasgirl

Ken said:
			
		

> Is it safe to come home yet?


 

 I just spit diet soda all over my desk!!!


----------



## Alix

Ken said:
			
		

> Is it safe to come home yet?


 

NO!!! 

Sorry about the soda texasgirl.


----------



## urmaniac13

crewsk said:
			
		

> Not all scorpions a poisonous. We have what's called wood scorpions around here. They are not real big & the sting feels like a bad bee sting. I've been stung before but it's always a shock!
> 
> I think I need to whole bottle!


 
That reminds me of one occasion years ago when my ex got stung by a tiny scorpion which was sneakily hiding in his shoes while we were in Texas. Neither of us didn't know of such a thing as non-poisonous scorpions, so we all freaked out and rushed to the ER of a near by hospital, looking all purple and green. Boy, the hospital staff were amused!! 

Anyway Crewsk, I hope your day got better... I am with you about blood, actually I am even worse, any Kill Bill like film would make me go 






(**thanx Texasgirl for this awesome emoticon!! )

Well... I think I should take up this opportunity too!! *THINGS DROPPING ON THE FLOOR!!* (And *ME* having to pick them up!) My #1 pet peeve!! Why so many things I put my hands on love to escape my grip and just dive onto the floor? Don't they realise I *DETEST* bending over and picking up things from floor? Not that I am physically lazy, I have no problem with running, jumping cartwheeling, I just can't stand that particular motion!! If they go there unsolicited why can't they take the responsibility of their own action and go back to where they belong after they pleased themselves? Why does it always have to be ME to follow up this mess that THEY caused? Are they picking on me? okay, okay... this has always been my big whim, it really drives me mad though especially when I am in a hurry...


----------



## shannon in KS

Vent:  CEO emails every one today declaring a nice weather holiday, take off at 3...... without pay....


----------



## Brooksy

Wow!! Guys.

I thought I had a bad day.

My thoughts are with all, & I'm glad to see that venting your frustrations has eased the load.

Alix - last time I tried sewing I put the needle through my finger. Don't ask me how it happened but boy it was sore. I now leave that to the intelligent one of the household, it's too dangerous for us mere males.


----------



## pdswife

Boy.. you guys are having rough days.... I'm sorry!


Mines been pretty good so far.... Except that I broke a wine glass that 
my neighbor left over here the other day.  Dang it!  And Paulie just called...
I thought he'd be home all weekend but he's decided to go hunting again.
He'll be leaving Friday from work and be gone until late Sunday night.  
Alone time is great but I've had enough now.


----------



## kadesma

Here goes, got, was not even grouchy, went to work, everything peachy, got home, and mom was over here in 5 minutes asking about her auto insurance...She hasn't driven in a year, car now has dead battery..My sister and I do not want her driving, and when I said we should cancel the insurance, it was scream at me for taking everything away from her..Lordy, I am at my wits end..The last time she drove, she got lost two blocks from home..So I take her to all her appointments and grocery shopping, hair, doctor..BUT...She insists she needs that car..My sis and I are terrified she will get really lost or in an accident..I  now want to just go hide under the bed and cry.....At least, she has calmed down and gone home, but, I know, as soon as she see's that insurance bill again, she will come over and the dance will begin again.....Thanks for letting me vent, my kids try to help and they do as much as they can, but, it's easy for them to say hey mom, relax,cuz, they don't have to hear the same lament over and over..I have to learn to deal with it on my own, but talking to all of you really helps...Thank you...
kadesma


----------



## urmaniac13

Yikes Kadesma!!  How old is your mum?  Maybe it is a good idea that you guys take her to a medical specialist and get their evaluation on whether she is fit to drive or not... I got a feeling that you will get a support of professional opinion if you do.  And try to divide the duty to chauffer her between you, your sis and your kids...  and if you need to vent some more, we are all here!!
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	








big hug!!


----------



## mish

My cute UPS guy called me ma'am.  I realize it's a term of respect, but it's a pet peeve.  What happened to Miss?


----------



## kitchenelf

Ken said:
			
		

> Is it safe to come home yet?



LMBO........................


----------



## kadesma

urmaniac13 said:
			
		

> Yikes Kadesma!! How old is your mum? Maybe it is a good idea that you guys take her to a medical specialist and get their evaluation on whether she is fit to drive or not... I got a feeling that you will get a support of professional opinion if you do. And try to divide the duty to chauffer her between you, your sis and your kids... and if you need to vent some more, we are all here!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> big hug!!


Thanks Licia, I'm planning to do this for her. I've put it off as I was afraid I'd scare her, but, this has to be dealt with for all our sakes... My girls help me very often with her, but, they do let me take the lead when it comes to deciding things..My sister, well that is another story...Example, she has only been to see mom once since last Christmas, and that was becuase I demanded it...

It's nice to know I can come here to talk though.. Thanks again and hugs back.
kadesma


----------



## mish

kadesma said:
			
		

> At least, she has calmed down and gone home, but, I know, as soon as she see's that insurance bill again, she will come over and the dance will begin again.kadesma


 
My two cents?  Guessing it might not be about the driving, but more about a feeling of loss of independence, that sometimes may come as people get on in years.  Is she able to take the bus?  Perhaps she might feel more independent. Maybe a local senior center can help and she can get out and be more active on her own?  Hope I didn't overstep my bounds.  We care about you.


----------



## shannon in KS

Hugs, Kadesma, sounds like you are going through what my dearest mother is going through with her Mother.  I remember telling my mother, it will all get better, and amazingly it has.  My mother glows to just have the opportunity to help her mother, as her mother has helped her all the years before, albeit she has been through a few trials.  The circle of life is a beautiful thing, be it visible or not...  Blessings, and I am positive the DC family will be here for you and yours, also.


----------



## kadesma

Thank you Shannon, you've lifted my spirits as have all my dc friends...hugs back..and for your mother and her mother...
kadesma


----------



## Alix

Ugh. kadesma, you win the prize today. (Although crewsk was pretty close!) It is no picnic dealing with aging parents and the driving issue. I think mish has hit it on the head, it is more about the independence thing than anything else. 

I am sorry you have to go through that kadesma. Maybe you could insert in coversations that you have heard it is much cheaper to take taxis than to keep paying for car insurance?


----------



## wasabi

A lot of us are going thru the same thing, I quess. My mom and dad are at the age when they should stop driving. I worry about my Mom the most. She has been in several fender benders but it's always the fault of the other drivers (so she says). I know exactly how you feel, kadesma.


----------



## shannon in KS

on a lighter not, wasabi, my grandmother has had a few fender benders herself...  my mother called and said the grammy's front plate "God is my co-pilot"  was never seen again after the last "oops"...


----------



## Piccolina

Not to take the venting spot light off of other bigger, more important issues...

My little vent for today (I'm not a big complainer by nature - I think ) is that our computer (hence forth called "pc") is sort of on the fritz. It's not all that new (DH bought it used from an old room-mate of his), and lately it's been refusing to load Windows, so we can't get to our desktops and therefore to the internet! I was pc-less for the better (figure of speech, I assure you!) part of the last two days! Everyone has computer issues at some point, my worry is just if it "goes to the big computer lab in the sky" for good...because I don't know how we'd find a way to get a new one! Guess we'll just take it one day at a time (who's a good pc? Yes you are, yes you are )
*
Many hugs to all those who vented today and who need a little extra strength to help them get through the day (week, month, etc) *


----------



## shannon in KS

Piccolina, are you saying I am not the only one that drops to my knees in thankfulness when my blessed computer behaves as I so "humilitously" request, day in, day out?!?!?!?!  It is quite stressful when our PC, here in kindly within referred to thereof (cause we have to for some reason respect it), does not frickin' work!!!!!


----------



## urmaniac13

mish said:
			
		

> My cute UPS guy called me ma'am. I realize it's a term of respect, but it's a pet peeve. What happened to Miss?


 
I know... I hate it when someone DARES to call me "signora"... make me feel like a grandma!!  I decided to pretend that I didn't realise they were calling out to me when this happens!


----------



## crewsk

Well, I'm starting my morning off with a vent!  (What a way to start a Friday! ) TC almost set the mirowave on fire this morning. He decided he was still hungry after eating cheese grits, 3 pieces of bacon, & 2 fried eggs so he put 2 bread sticks that hubby had brought home from a pizza place Wednesday in the microwave for 2 min & 50 seconds!! He & Savannah were sitting at the kitchen table & Savannah started saying "Um... TC, um... TC, um.... TC, the microwave is smoking."  I ran into the kitchen just as hubby walked in & opened the microwave. The butter on the breadsticks had started to burn the papertowel they were on. Needless to say, my house stinks to high Heaven now!


----------



## urmaniac13

crewsk said:
			
		

> Well, I'm starting my morning off with a vent!  (What a way to start a Friday! ) TC almost set the mirowave on fire this morning. He decided he was still hungry after eating cheese grits, 3 pieces of bacon, & 2 fried eggs so he put 2 bread sticks that hubby had brought home from a pizza place Wednesday in the microwave for 2 min & 50 seconds!! He & Savannah were sitting at the kitchen table & Savannah started saying "Um... TC, um... TC, um.... TC, the microwave is smoking." I ran into the kitchen just as hubby walked in & opened the microwave. The butter on the breadsticks had started to burn the papertowel they were on. Needless to say, my house stinks to high Heaven now!


 
Lucky for TC that now he has his own scooter for a quick escape!!  

But seriously that must have been a scare and those burned stink can't go away quickly enough!! (I hope you didn't have a problem with smoke alarm for an icing on top!!) Take a deep breath Crewsk, it is TGIF, I am sure things will get better!!


----------



## hellschef

to all who have had "that day", power, remember that what does not kill us, may come back around for a second shot.lol. 
to the woman who was putting on her make-up and talking on the phoe whilst also holding that cup of coffe and applying mascara in the review,,.........   that truck you almost creamed was me, and while i do believe im superman, do you not think of the two children you have in the back?? maam , and i am using that in the loosest way, Hades has a very special level waiting for you. to qoute chevy chase" Jane you ignorant @#$%"  thank you


----------



## crewsk

urmaniac13 said:
			
		

> Lucky for TC that now he has his own scooter for a quick escape!!
> 
> But seriously that must have been a scare and those burned stink can't go away quickly enough!! (I hope you didn't have a problem with smoke alarm for an icing on top!!) Take a deep breath Crewsk, it is TGIF, I am sure things will get better!!


 

Well, he didn't get into trouble since "accidents" happen & no one got hurt.

Yes, it was a scare, I've got canldes lit in every room of the house, windows open & celing fans going full blast. It's 47F outside so needless to say I'm bundled up in warm clothes!! The scariest part is that the smoke detector didn't go off! We just put a new battery in it last week. 


Hellschef, don't you just want to jerk people like that out of their cars & give them a piece of your mind?!


----------



## Piccolina

urmaniac13 said:
			
		

> I know... I hate it when someone DARES to call me "signora"... make me feel like a grandma!! I decided to pretend that I didn't realise they were calling out to me when this happens!


Signora I really like (perhaps because I married into my Italianism ), but "ma 'am" always cracks me up, as I think I'm miles too young for that  But I guess "ma 'am" has to beat being called "young lady"..."Miss" would be someplace in between the two.


----------



## buckytom

crewsk said:
			
		

> don't you just want to jerk people like that out of their cars & give them a piece of your mind?!


 
you said it crewsk!

the other day i was beefin about a woman doing it (just add putting on make up), but today was a guy in a huge suv, talking on the cell phone, reading some documents, using a blackberry, while smoking and drinking coffee, all while "driving" in slow moving traffic. he would keep falling back, keeping several car lengths open in front of him, but if someone tried to cut in there, he'd speed up to not let them in.
it was making me crazy, driving a stick behind him, until i put on simon and garfunkel's greatest hits, and just dealt with it until my exit.


----------



## crewsk

buckytom said:
			
		

> using a blackberry


 
Ummm... what's a blackberry? 

I just have to breath real deep & remind myself that the kids are in the car when I get around people like that. Otherwise, they'd have a really colorful vocabulary to take to school!


----------



## Piccolina

crewsk said:
			
		

> Ummm... what's a blackberry?


One of my favourite types of fruit  But I'm sure Buckytom meant a Blackberry (wireless) handheld electronic organizer.


----------



## crewsk

Thanks Piccolina! I was trying to figure out what in the world someone would be using a blackberry (the fruit) for while driving down the road!


----------



## buckytom

thanks piccolina.

yep, its an electronic gizmo.

i wish i had some real blackberries to chuck at the guy.


----------



## Alix

crewsk, sometime on MSN remind me to tell you about the words my kids have heard in my car.  

I think this thread is just what the doctor ordered. I am having a pretty good day today, but will vent for my cat. Meow mrow mrow...MROOOOOWW SHRIEK!!! (Translation: I was minding my own business this morning, just sitting by the cat post. You would think this was far enough out of the way of the morning traffic, but OH NO!! My stupid human comes reeling around the corner, heading for the coffee pot, and steps on my feet! OW! Then to top it off, she didn't GET OFF right away, you think that fuzziness might have tipped her off that she wasn't on the hardwood? Clearly not enough coffee yet. So I whacked her ankles a few times and yelled "OUCH" really loud. Well, you'd think I'd killed her. Hmph! Some humans!)

Translators note, I have stopped bleeding now.


----------



## crewsk

Alix said:
			
		

> crewsk, sometime on MSN remind me to tell you about the words my kids have heard in my car.


 
Will do! I'll tell you about the ones mine have gotten caught repeating!


----------



## Ken

Alix said:
			
		

> MROOOOOWW SHRIEK!!! (Translation: I was minding my own business this morning, just sitting by the cat post. You would think this was far enough out of the way of the morning traffic, but OH NO!! My stupid human comes reeling around the corner, heading for the coffee pot, and steps on my feet! OW! Then to top it off, she didn't GET OFF right away, you think that fuzziness might have tipped her off that she wasn't on the hardwood? Clearly not enough coffee yet. So I whacked her ankles a few times and yelled "OUCH" really loud. .


 
Message from Toonces the cat for Alix......


----------



## lindatooo

My sympathies to all - but you sure made my day look awfully good!  Thank you!


----------



## licia

Hope the next week is a better one for all of us.  I don't remember when I've had anything upset me so much for so long.  I was supposed to pick up my grandson Wednesday after his after school class and forgot him completely.  His mom called at 3:45 and asked if I had picked him up and I hadn't even thought about it.  Of course, it was dh's fault(NOT) - he played golf on the wrong day and added to my already confused state of mind.  So much has happened in the last week or so it has left me quite puzzled. My next door neighbor died last week, then the thing with my car being booted, then forgetting my grandson. I may throw myself in a corner til a new week starts.


----------



## Alix

Oh licia, you HAVE had a week haven't you! The great thing is...the week is OVER. You get to start fresh now. Sit down, have a nice cup of tea and a cookie and hopefully you will start to relax.


----------



## licia

Gee, thanks. I AM glad the week is over. I am definitely not making any plans except to take it easy the next two days. Maybe everything will work out by then.


----------



## wasabi

licia


----------



## kadesma

licia said:
			
		

> Hope the next week is a better one for all of us. I don't remember when I've had anything upset me so much for so long. I was supposed to pick up my grandson Wednesday after his after school class and forgot him completely. His mom called at 3:45 and asked if I had picked him up and I hadn't even thought about it. Of course, it was dh's fault(NOT) - he played golf on the wrong day and added to my already confused state of mind. So much has happened in the last week or so it has left me quite puzzled. My next door neighbor died last week, then the thing with my car being booted, then forgetting my grandson. I may throw myself in a corner til a new week starts.


licia,
I know exactly how you feel, have a cup of tea as Alix said, and with it a good bawl, then wipe those tears and look in the mirror and say hi licia, you've been a good mom and grandma for years, this  goofy week doesn't count and I'm still tops and my family thinks I'm the best and I am   Then just march into next week with head held hi and forget this mess...You deserve the best, you're a mom and a Ma...
hugs licia from me to you

kadesma


----------



## kadesma

mish said:
			
		

> My two cents? Guessing it might not be about the driving, but more about a feeling of loss of independence, that sometimes may come as people get on in years. Is she able to take the bus? Perhaps she might feel more independent. Maybe a local senior center can help and she can get out and be more active on her own? Hope I didn't overstep my bounds. We care about you.


Mish, you could never overstep with me..  I know you care..We've tried often to get mom interested in thing outside the home,since dad passed away, but, she won't budge. We live out in the country so a bus isn't an option for her...Even if I could get her to go out, I know she wouldn't know where or what to do..Her life was me, my sis, and most of all my dad...So I try to take her shopping, to the mall..We've taken her to several movies, she likes that but falls asleep during them, but so what, she likesit we take her...We took her out for dinner tonight and, her daughter, (me) kept her yap shut, let her order for herself and never said peep about anything. We all DH, son, mom and ME   Just relaxed and laughed about all kinds of nutty things...It was nice..She went home humming tonight..Now, I must see to it that she does that often...
thanks for caring Mish..it helps.
kadesma


----------



## SierraCook

Today, I went to work out in the forest and it should have been a great day.  First I drove down the wrong road and had to back up for forever because there was not a turnaround at the end.  I dropped my coworker at one end of the project and I drove to the other end to start reflagging the boundary.  All timber sales are flagged with orange plastic tags and blue plastic flagging.  This sale had been tagged 5 years ago and needed refreshing.  It was so cold today that the flagging kept breaking.  My hands were freezing.  I took the harder section, so my coworker got done before me.  She was supposed to drive the truck down to where I was to end and pick me up.  She did not understand my instructions and went the wrong way.   I ran out of flagging. (I took 3 rolls of flagging.)  I twisted my ankle while just walking down the road.  The boundary was posted wrong and I had to fix someone else's mistake.  I missed lunch and was starving when I got done and I forgot to take a snack.    

Thanks for the chance to vent. I hope that you all have a good day.


----------



## kadesma

Oh SC,
I'm sorry, You did have one lousy day...I hope youre feeling better now and that this doesn't happen again..I hate being cold..I can handle being a little hungry, but cold !!! no, no, no  Wish I could have helped you out...And I'm glad that your home now and can come let us give ya a great big HUG  

kadesma


----------



## buckytom

sc, i'm sorry about your day, but can we trade jobs sometime?


----------



## SierraCook

buckytom said:
			
		

> sc, i'm sorry about your day, but can we trade jobs sometime?


 
Sure, Tom we can trade jobs anyday.  I think it would be fun to come and see what you do.  I must admit that my job sure does have some great scenery and most of the time the weather is not that bad, you just have to dress appropriately to keep warm or dry, etc.  For the record I did have long underwear and plenty of clothing but once your hands get cold it is hard to keep them warm.  

kadesma, it sounded alot worse than it was.  I actually had alot of fun.  I just get frustrated when others don't do their jobs properly and I have to fix their mistakes.  But, hey, nobody is perfect including myself.


----------



## Maidrite

I JUST WANNA KNOW, DO YA GOT ANY CHEESE ?


----------



## shannon in KS

got caught raiding the halloween candy...  by that little midget (also referred to as daughter, offspring, spawn, or cute pet names) that runs around my house that I always have to tell to quit sneaking candy.....


----------



## kadesma

wahha shannon, what's that old saying..Then apple never falls far from the tree?  Ya got caught with your hand in the cookie jar what?  Ah that's okay, just tell her  it's your job as mommy to check for rotten and spoiled candy...Mine bought that for about 5 min..then I had to run for my life 

kadesma


----------



## shannon in KS

hmmm, and another one comes to mind also "Do as I say, not as I do" 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I forgot that 'ol standby line  





			
				kadesma said:
			
		

> wahha shannon, what's that old saying..Then apple never falls far from the tree? Ya got caught with your hand in the cookie jar what? Ah that's okay, just tell her it's your job as mommy to check for rotten and spoiled candy...Mine bought that for about 5 min..then I had to run for my life
> 
> kadesma


----------



## mudbug

*Information Overload*

OK, here's my rant.........

There's too much stuff to read, and I am a reading wiz, but I cannot hack all this stuff every dang month that comes into my house:


investment advice and info in the credit union statement   
'special edition" mini-mags with do-it-yourself projects   
political manifestos from all of them who are running for office (it's gubernatorial election time here in VA)   
handy home heating tips in the electric and/or gas bills   
catalogs (how did I get on the list for THIS crap?)   
the strangely folded insert that comes with all medicines that tells you all about the trials they did on the stuff and contra-indications and yada yada yada   
the "articles" in the TV guide that comes with the paper   
warranties and instructions for gizmos   
the quarterly statements from the people who have my IRA
 This is on top of trying to read a decent book now and again, the newspaper, the local newspaper, my cookbooks, and the stuff on the back of the cereal box in the morning when I'm too blind to read anything else.

And let's not EVEN talk about the Web (excepting this site, of course!).


----------



## hellschef

people who believe a restaraunt is a day care center and allow their "lovely" children to run amok.  please sedate the chef.


----------



## shannon in KS

trip 'em!  If that doesn't work, clothesline 'em!  I have to refrain from doing the same......


----------



## Brooksy

hellschef said:
			
		

> people who believe a restaraunt is a day care center and allow their "lovely" children to run amok.  please sedate the chef.



A bit of "laughin' lucerne" instead of basil in the meal will do the trick . Probably increase sales as well.


----------



## mish

Taking a deep breath because I'm very upset... and I normally don't vent here.  I had a doctor's appt today and he never showed up.  I made the appt a week ago because he said he was in the process of moving (his home, not his office).After 10 mins in the waiting room, the receptionist hands the phone to me and says "It's for you."  The doc said the moving people are there, he could leave in about 1/2 an hour.  I blew!  I told him that was irresponsible and unacceptable, etc. He agreed and apologized.   I waited a  another 20 mins, and the next patient came in - & said she had an appointment 1/2 hour after mine.  He's already a 1/2 hr late.  Doc calls again and says he's leaving and will arrive in three minutes.  The patient and the staff said he is *always* late.  I had a scheduled ride to pick me up, which I could not cancel.  He asked (on the phone - his second phone call, if I could come back tomorrow.  I said no and left. A waste of time!

On occasion I've had some problems with docs accepting motion pic insurance.  He said he did, and seemed like a nice guy.  Now I'm not sure what to do.  TIA for listening to me grumble.


----------



## shannon in KS

ooooohhhhhh grrrrrrrrr!  And why can they charge you if you miss your appointment, but would they dare give you a credit on your acount?  $^&^&#% no!!!!!!!!!   Feel for ya, been there, sooooooo frustrating!!!!!   


			
				mish said:
			
		

> Taking a deep breath because I'm very upset... and I normally don't vent here. I had a doctor's appt today and he never showed up. I made the appt a week ago because he said he was in the process of moving (his home, not his office).After 10 mins in the waiting room, the receptionist hands the phone to me and says "It's for you." The doc said the moving people are there, he could leave in about 1/2 an hour. I blew! I told him that was irresponsible and unacceptable, etc. He agreed and apologized. I waited a another 20 mins, and the next patient came in - & said she had an appointment 1/2 hour after mine. He's already a 1/2 hr late. Doc calls again and says he's leaving and will arrive in three minutes. The patient and the staff said he is *always* late. I had a scheduled ride to pick me up, which I could not cancel. He asked (on the phone - his second phone call, if I could come back tomorrow. I said no and left. A waste of time!
> 
> On occasion I've had some problems with docs accepting motion pic insurance. He said he did, and seemed like a nice guy. Now I'm not sure what to do. TIA for listening to me grumble.


----------



## mish

He can't bill me because I didn't give them my Motion Pic card   But still, while I'm on the phone with him, the whole staff is nodding their heads in agreement with everything I said to him.  I thought this guy would be better than Motion Pic's AWFUL HMO.


----------



## Brooksy

Mish,

After treatment like that you need to vent, and thanks for sharing.

Now, you need to see the Doctor, do what I do for DW. Ring the surgery before you leave your home to find out the what's going on at the surgery, how far behind with their appts etc. Works for us. 
His actions were unacceptable.


----------



## licia

There used to be a restaurant near my little town that made wonderful food - a really fine dining establishment. They allowed no kids under 12.  Some of the people in the area raised such a stink about their little "sweeties" not being allowed in, it went out of business. We are back to the "run of the mill" places now. If I were a parent of some of the children I've seen in places, I would hang my head. They run around, yell out like they were outside, use terrible manners and act like they've never been out of the house.


----------



## shannon in KS

I have a child, and I there is no way, NO HOW she would ever act like that.  Ok, I think she did once, when she was 4 or 5, and I took her to the restroom, and told her I was leaving her there to straighten up, and I was going to go eat my dinner, and she could come out when she was "done".  Also, when did Walmart become a speedway?  That is my BIGGEST peeve!  Like I said earlier, I would really like to trip those kids that run around like maniacs, but seriously, it is there parents faults ultimately for not teaching them better.  I have been known to um, speak up, within their parent's hearing distance.....





			
				licia said:
			
		

> There used to be a restaurant near my little town that made wonderful food - a really fine dining establishment. They allowed no kids under 12. Some of the people in the area raised such a stink about their little "sweeties" not being allowed in, it went out of business. We are back to the "run of the mill" places now. If I were a parent of some of the children I've seen in places, I would hang my head. They run around, yell out like they were outside, use terrible manners and act like they've never been out of the house.


----------



## licia

and isn't a small child with a grocery buggy a danger to us all? I don't know what some of their parents have where their brains should be.  My gs is 6 and I still don't let him push the buggy except with me on one side. He knows to behave well wherever we are. Of course he has been around mostly grownups a good part of his life, so that isn't all good either.  He is a little more grown up than most kids his age, but has fun playing with them also.


----------



## kadesma

licia said:
			
		

> and isn't a small child with a grocery buggy a danger to us all? I don't know what some of their parents have where their brains should be. My gs is 6 and I still don't let him push the buggy except with me on one side. He knows to behave well wherever we are. Of course he has been around mostly grownups a good part of his life, so that isn't all good either. He is a little more grown up than most kids his age, but has fun playing with them also.


licia,
 I sometimes wonder if the parents have been sitting on their brains all day!!!  I would be so hurt if someone thought my grandkids were brats for misbehaving...I feel we bring them into the world and it's our task to teach them right and wrong..So that people will look and them and think what nice children they are..In fact I had 18 month old Ethan out to dinner with me and DH, his mommy and daddy, he sat in his high chair and just ate all the veggies we gave him, drank his milk and asked nicely "more" for biscuit with jam..A lady who was sitting right behind me stopped at our table as she left and said " what a good little boy, how well he ate his dinner" Think I didn't glow all the way to the car???  Sure, but we try very hard to see that the boys are well behaved..And Licia,yours is grown up a little, but he is still allowed to be a child, he's just a well behaved child...That's cause you love him and want him to be liked and respected...So you see to it he behaves...We need more grandma's like you 

kadesma


----------



## licia

I know I certainly wouldn't want to be around them if they were little terrors and if I felt I had to apologize for everything they did. My dil is a very good mother to our grandchildren.  I never thought she would be such a family person when I first met her - but she really fooled me.  Our little granson who is almost two calls me 'at ma". When he comes in the room and my son is talking with me he says "talk to at ma". He mostly repeats everything I say to him except when it is time to go, he always says he loves me. I can't wait to see them two weeks from today.


----------



## Barbara L

I don't need to vent very often, but tonight I need to *VENT*.

My latest class (working on my master's degree) was supposed to start tonight.  I got an email a week or two ago confirming that I was all set.  When I went to check out the class last night, however, there was no class.  I contacted the school, and they told me that I am not registered in that class.  Now for the reason why...  I was not to have to pay anything out-of-pocket ever. The actual loan was for more than the classes, so I was to receive 2 checks, which could be used to buy a new computer or other things for school.  I was to get the first half in June and the 2nd half this coming January.  When the check arrived in June, it was for a lot more than I expected.  I didn't know how much to expect though, so even though I was surprised, I figured they knew what they were doing.  When I asked why I wasn't registered in my class, I was told that I owe too much out-of-pocket, and that I wasn't answering any of their emails, so they dropped me from the class.  Well, in the first place I never got any of their emails.  And in the second place, I wasn't supposed to have any out-of-pocket expenses.  That is when I found out that the people in charge of the loan messed up and sent me too much.  So now I owe almost $900 before I can finish my classes.  She did say that I can make payments, but I have to talk to my financial aide counselor, who was in a meeting.  She said the counselor would call right after her meeting.  She didn't call.  I am so mad!  We will talk to her tomorrow, and we will arrange some sort of payment plan, which we can't afford right now, and in the long-run everything will be ok, but right now I am not a happy camper.    

I did find out something while checking all of this out though.  There is a possibility that because I teach in a poor district, I might be able to have most of my loan forgiven.  I know at least one teacher at my school who did that.  As far as my other classes, I have been fortunate.  So far 2 A-minuses and 3 A's.  This last class was a killer.  I was really looking forward to the class that started tonight.  Hopefully I won't be more than a week behind schedule.

 Barbara


----------



## Alix

Oh Barbara! You DID need to vent! What a mess! I sure hope all this gets cleared up in an expedient manner. I totally understand the stress THAT can cause. Hugs to you big sister!


----------



## PA Baker

Oh, Barbara, I feel so sorry for you!  What an awful feeling to have not been given enough, or the correct, information!  Hang in there and keep fighting.  It sounds like it can all be worked out.  Hugs from here, too!

My only vent today, and it's minor compared to Barbara's, is that our computer is still pretty much on the fritz.  I can receive but not send email, can only see web pages and post here intermittently, and DH's buddy who's helping fix it is great at computers but said even he's stumped on this one.    There are moments when I really hate technology!


----------



## pdswife

Barb... if I were you.. I'd have vented very loudly to the person in charge.  What a mess!!!!   I hope you can get everything cleared up today.  I'll keep my fingers crossed.

PA.. It's very easy to hate technology.  It brings us a lot of good things but dang...we get so used to having it that when it breaks we're in a world of hurt.   Hopefully all will be fixed soon.


----------



## crewsk

Barbara, yes you did need to vent! Another {{{HUG}}} to you!

PA, I hope you can get your computer problems fixed soon! 


My only vent today is that I feel like a spin top! I'm beginning to wonder if I have vertigo. My eyes feel like they are spinning & every time I stand up I feel like I'm going to pass out. I just wish the room would stop spinning around me!!


----------



## pdswife

oh no.  Sounds like you should spend the day in bed.
Feel better soon!!  : )


----------



## crewsk

pdswife said:
			
		

> oh no. Sounds like you should spend the day in bed.
> Feel better soon!! : )


 
Thanks pds! I wish I could! I have to pick the kids up from school & go to my parents for supper & church tonight. If the kids didn't have choir practice, I wouldn't go. I did spend part of the morning on the couch but I still felt like I was flying around.


----------



## pdswife

Should you be driving?  
Can someone else take the kids or can they miss one pratice?

Heck it's hard being a mom.
It's impossible to call in sick.  

Take care of you!!


----------



## Barbara L

Thanks everyone.  As soon as I get home from work, I hope to get this all straightened up.



			
				crewsk said:
			
		

> My only vent today is that I feel like a spin top! I'm beginning to wonder if I have vertigo. My eyes feel like they are spinning & every time I stand up I feel like I'm going to pass out. I just wish the room would stop spinning around me!!


You should check with a doctor.  It could be an inner ear problem.  Are you on any kind of medications?  I have been getting really dizzy the last few days.  I think it is my blood pressure, or my blood pressure medicine.  I just have to look like I am bending over and I get dizzy!  I'm starting to wonder now though.  You and I both were sick with that weird "cold" that made us really tired (a lot of people around here had that).  I wonder if this is a hold-over from that?

 Barbara


----------



## texasgirl

crewsk said:
			
		

> Barbara, yes you did need to vent! Another {{{HUG}}} to you!
> 
> PA, I hope you can get your computer problems fixed soon!
> 
> 
> My only vent today is that I feel like a spin top! I'm beginning to wonder if I have vertigo. My eyes feel like they are spinning & every time I stand up I feel like I'm going to pass out. I just wish the room would stop spinning around me!!


 
Crewsk, my husband was diagnosed with vertigo and what your describing sounds like it. You need to be careful and if it keeps up, go to the doctor and make sure, it could be an ear infection as Barbara said, but, don't play around with it if it keeps going or gets worse!
It will get a lot worse if you don't. It was pretty scary! When he is asking to go to the er and is someone that never goes to the doctor, I knew something was very wrong. He still gets spells now, 5 months later!


----------



## Barbara L

Whew!  I talked to my financial advisor when I got home from work.  She said that we could make payments, then when the 2nd half of the overage comes in January, the rest would be deducted from that.  Then she asked if they could get a payment tonight to get it all started.  We couldn't afford to do that right now, so she said she would call back 15 minutes later.  When she called back, she said that they would defer the whole amount to January, and my next class will start November 15th.  Thank goodness for good grades because she said that it is because I am a straight A student that they are doing this.  What a relief.  So now I have an extra week break.   That will give me an extra week to work on housework and lesson plans, as well as do the reading for my next class.  Aw, who am I kidding?  It will actually give me more time to fool around on the computer!  I really do need to do the other things though, so maybe I can get something done!

 Barbara


----------



## crewsk

That's great news Barbara! 


I'm still feeling kinda woozy today, not quite as bad as yesterday though(yet). I did figure out that I'm OK for about 30 minutes after I eat something. My mom was diagnosed with vertigo when I was in Junior High & she went through a whole bunch of questions with me last night. She thinks that's what it is too. I've had problems with my blood pressure in the past so it could be that also. I'm going to call the doctor today & se when I can get in to see him. Thanks everyone!


----------



## texasgirl

Barbara, I'm so happy for you!!

Crewsk, I'm happy that you are going to the doctor! Take care and be careful driving.


----------



## licia

Crewsk, glad you are going to the doctor. Vertigo isn't something to take lightly.  Dh had a terrible bout of it many years ago and still has some off and on, but never like the first time. He had gone to a deacon's retreat and had to be brought home in the back of a station wagon with pillows all over and under him.  The good thing is they treat it better these days. With dh, stress makes it worse, so make sure you are taking care of yourself.


----------



## PA Baker

Barbara, I'm so glad to hear that the school was willing to work with you!  Enjoy your "freebie" week!

Crewsk, take care of yourself.  I'm worried about you!


----------



## texasgirl

My treadmill dies last night!! 
I've been walking 1 mile for 4 days and 2 miles Fri.-Sun. I take one night off.
I've lost 4 lbs and now I'll end up going backwards again 

Don't think hubby will buy me a new one. I got this one at a garage sale for $100. I would love to get an elliptical.
I don't walk in the neighborhood, cause, there is not a leash law plus, dogs get dumped around here all the time and I'm too scared of getting attacked.
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!


----------



## Barbara L

Texasgirl,

How about the high school or middle school track?  I know a lot of people who walk there.  The woman who played Harriet Oleson on Little House on the Prairie used to walk the track of the junior high school in Vista, CA, where I used to live.  If nothing else, just make sure there's nothing in the way and walk all over your house at a brisk pace!  Not a lot of room in my house for that, but from the front of my house to the back, done a lot of times would add up.    Hopefully you can get an elliptical.  Just keep hinting to Santa!

 Barbara


----------



## texasgirl

Barbara L said:
			
		

> Texasgirl,
> 
> How about the high school or middle school track? I know a lot of people who walk there. The woman who played Harriet Oleson on Little House on the Prairie used to walk the track of the junior high school in Vista, CA, where I used to live. If nothing else, just make sure there's nothing in the way and walk all over your house at a brisk pace! Not a lot of room in my house for that, but from the front of my house to the back, done a lot of times would add up.  Hopefully you can get an elliptical. Just keep hinting to Santa!
> 
> Barbara


 
I don't want to have to drive up to the school I hate driving anywhere unless I have too. I'm just going to pout and see if hubby will get it for me.
but, if not, I will walk all around my house.


----------



## Barbara L

Texasgirl--Are there any good looking guys in the neighborhood?  Just tell your husband that without a treadmill to take up all your time and energy, you have nothing to do now but watch the goings on in the neighborhood.  LOL (J/K!).

 Barbara


----------



## texasgirl

Barbara L said:
			
		

> Texasgirl--Are there any good looking guys in the neighborhood? Just tell your husband that without a treadmill to take up all your time and energy, you have nothing to do now but watch the goings on in the neighborhood. LOL (J/K!).
> 
> Barbara


 
  I wish there were!!


----------



## pdswife

ok.. I've venting.  LOUDLY.!!!

I just posted under "what was the last thing that made you smile"
My happy news that I GET TO HAVE CHRISTMAS AT HOME THIS YEAR".  

Christmas has been hard for as long as I can remember.  Mom and dad divorced when I was 8.  Mom and I moved up here while everyone else stayed in Oregon.  Every year we had to go down for both holidays and it was always a huge fight between mom and dad about when they'd each get me.  It'd start a month a head of time and continue until Jan.  Fight after fight...  All I ever wanted was to wake up in my own bed on Christmas morning.  This year I get too!!!

Years pass... I meet Paul and we pretty much do Christmas and Thanksgiving at his parents place in Salem.   Mom was always invited.  She came once or twice. We'd have Christmas and Thanksgiving with mom a few days before or a few days after.  She hated this because it only counts as "spending the holiday with her" if we are there on the actual date.  So, about four years ago we started trading off.  Christmas with Paul's family and Thanksgiving with her.  The next year Christmas ON CHRISTMAS day with mom and Thanksgiving with Paul's family.   Paul's folks are very understanding about this and have no problems at all.   We miss out on so much though.   Christmas eve is one of the most special nights in the family. Everyone is there 25-30 of us sometimes more.  Good food, good friends, good times.  Mom just doesn't understand.  She's invited but refuses to come.  So, every other year we miss the party.  

This Christmas was supposed to be spent at Mom's house.  She just moved in with Grandpa though and there's no room for us at his house, David can't take time off work to drive all the way down there and grandpa has a very very bad drinking problem... SO, a few days ago I invited mom up here for Christmas.  She said YES.  She sounded fine with it, happy even because she didn't want to spend christmas at her dad's either... She called awhile ago and informed me that "next year will be her turn and she expects us to go to her house"  After all she's missing having her Christmas turn!!!!!!!
There's no way we can rotate the holidays at this point.  There are too many other family members and people involved.   I'm so mad at her.  

I know it doesn't seem like a big deal... I did a bad job explaining how painful the holidays have always been.  I just want everyone ( including ME) to be happy and I don't think that it's ever going to happen.

Thanks for listening.

T


----------



## texasgirl

pdswife said:
			
		

> ok.. I've venting. LOUDLY.!!!
> 
> I just posted under "what was the last thing that made you smile"
> My happy news that I GET TO HAVE CHRISTMAS AT HOME THIS YEAR".
> 
> Christmas has been hard for as long as I can remember. Mom and dad divorced when I was 8. Mom and I moved up here while everyone else stayed in Oregon. Every year we had to go down for both holidays and it was always a huge fight between mom and dad about when they'd each get me. It'd start a month a head of time and continue until Jan. Fight after fight... All I ever wanted was to wake up in my own bed on Christmas morning. This year I get too!!!
> 
> Years pass... I meet Paul and we pretty much do Christmas and Thanksgiving at his parents place in Salem. Mom was always invited. She came once or twice. We'd have Christmas and Thanksgiving with mom a few days before or a few days after. She hated this because it only counts as "spending the holiday with her" if we are there on the actual date. So, about four years ago we started trading off. Christmas with Paul's family and Thanksgiving with her. The next year Christmas ON CHRISTMAS day with mom and Thanksgiving with Paul's family. Paul's folks are very understanding about this and have no problems at all. We miss out on so much though. Christmas eve is one of the most special nights in the family. Everyone is there 25-30 of us sometimes more. Good food, good friends, good times. Mom just doesn't understand. She's invited but refuses to come. So, every other year we miss the party.
> 
> This Christmas was supposed to be spent at Mom's house. She just moved in with Grandpa though and there's no room for us at his house, David can't take time off work to drive all the way down there and grandpa has a very very bad drinking problem... SO, a few days ago I invited mom up here for Christmas. She said YES. She sounded fine with it, happy even because she didn't want to spend christmas at her dad's either... She called awhile ago and informed me that "next year will be her turn and she expects us to go to her house" After all she's missing having her Christmas turn!!!!!!!
> There's no way we can rotate the holidays at this point. There are too many other family members and people involved. I'm so mad at her.
> 
> I know it doesn't seem like a big deal... I did a bad job explaining how painful the holidays have always been. I just want everyone ( including ME) to be happy and I don't think that it's ever going to happen.
> 
> Thanks for listening.
> 
> T


 
I understand why your angry pds. Your mom needs to understand that she isn't missing "her turn" you are spending this Christmas with her still, just not at her house. Next year is with Paul's. Hopefully, she will get over it. If not, then tell her she isn't being fair to you and that this IS her year, that is why you invited her to your house. I hope that you get it straightened out. Just don't let it get to you right now, enjoy your holidays. Worry about ticking her off next year


----------



## pdswife

Thanks Texas.  I'm feeling calmer now.
Counted to 100 and took many deep breaths.  lol!


----------



## PA Baker

PDS, I've been through similar situations with "sharing" holidays and can sympathize.  Hang in there--it'll get straigtened out.  {{hugs!}}


----------



## cartwheelmac

*Kids*



			
				kadesma said:
			
		

> licia,
> I sometimes wonder if the parents have been sitting on their brains all day!!! I would be so hurt if someone thought my grandkids were brats for misbehaving...I feel we bring them into the world and it's our task to teach them right and wrong..So that people will look and them and think what nice children they are..In fact I had 18 month old Ethan out to dinner with me and DH, his mommy and daddy, he sat in his high chair and just ate all the veggies we gave him, drank his milk and asked nicely "more" for biscuit with jam..A lady who was sitting right behind me stopped at our table as she left and said " what a good little boy, how well he ate his dinner" Think I didn't glow all the way to the car??? Sure, but we try very hard to see that the boys are well behaved..And Licia,yours is grown up a little, but he is still allowed to be a child, he's just a well behaved child...That's cause you love him and want him to be liked and respected...So you see to it he behaves...We need more grandma's like you
> 
> kadesma



We are a family of twelve. People stare at us when we go places. Mommy says because we are so many we have to be on our best behavior or else people really get a bad impression of kids and even our 3-year-old twins can sit through church. Mommy is not afraid to take us to the store she just doesn't want to haul ten kids while trying to shop! 

What I find annoying is when anyone of my 8 younger siblings gets in my stuff or when people stare at us and stare at us and stare at us and stare at us... or even when my well meaning older brother tries to help me with something (using his Acts of Service love language) when I don't need help (which I am an Encouraging Words love language, Him and my mom have the same love language so my Mom really is thankful for him).

Cameron


----------



## licia

I suppose we left out another component of good behavior - adults.  I was focusing so much on children (and their parents) that I overlooked the fact that adults even without children show very bad manners and I would say for those who stare at a family that is behaving well unless it is a look of admiration, it is indeed very bad manners.  I have seen kids act with more decorum than their parents and that is really something to marvel at.  I suppose the real issue is that we be considerate of each other and make the experience we recall in happiness rather than to rile us each time we remember it.


----------



## buckytom

ya don't have to have kids to act badly, of course. i remember going up to salem, mass. for haloween a few years ago with my wife's gaggle of yenta friends.
one morning, we all met at a diner for breakfast, and while waiting for a table, jammed in the foyer with a couple of families with young kids, i got annoyed enough at them (the yentas) to actually tell them to shut the f up in front of the children. they were going on, much like geese in the evenings, and on and on about things that little ears shouldn't hear, and peppered with swear words. 
at least i got a slight smile of thanks from the parents.


----------



## crewsk

I picked up the kids from school today & Savannah said that her teacher said she didn't do any of her homework this week & she had to spend her recess time doing it. Savannah was so upset that she was crying & couldn't breathe. Well, I called her teacher & she told me that her assistant takes care of all that & she would check with her. I double checked Savannah's folder this morning before school & all her work was in it & the floder was inside her backpack. The teacher acted like I was lying!! Now, you tell me why in the world would a child who has turned in all their homework on time since the beginning of school suddenly not bring it in for a whole week?! That tickes me off more than anything at all! 

I'm sorry, I really do like her teachers & have had no problems communicating with them before but this just really rubbed me the wrong way today.

OK, I'm going to go play with the kids & TC's class bunny & calm down.


----------



## pdswife

Poor Savanah!  What a bad day for both of you.   

Have fun playing with the bunny!!


----------



## crewsk

Thanks pds! We did have fun with the bunny, she's sleeping peacefully in her cage now.


----------



## Alix

Pssst! Crewsk, you shouldn't tell people you put Savannah in a cage to sleep!


----------



## Barbara L

Alix said:
			
		

> Pssst! Crewsk, you shouldn't tell people you put Savannah in a cage to sleep!


I'm confused now. How do you do it in Canada?

     

 Barbara


----------



## shannon in KS

ooooohhhhhhhh crewsk, there is nothing like the wrath of a mother


----------



## licia

Regarding the problem with how to spend holidays.  We used to be torn apart by where we would be each holiday. We tried to visit well before the holiday and spent the actual holiday in our own home with our children. If our parents wanted to visit during that time, that was fine, but they knew that our own family came first.  Sometimes our children spend the holidays with us and sometimes they don't. We understand either way. Memories of the past are fine, but I wanted to make new traditions and memories with my own little family, and encourage my kids to do so too.


----------



## mrsmac

crewsk said:
			
		

> I picked up the kids from school today & Savannah said that her teacher said she didn't do any of her homework this week & she had to spend her recess time doing it. Savannah was so upset that she was crying & couldn't breathe. Well, I called her teacher & she told me that her assistant takes care of all that & she would check with her. I double checked Savannah's folder this morning before school & all her work was in it & the floder was inside her backpack. The teacher acted like I was lying!! Now, you tell me why in the world would a child who has turned in all their homework on time since the beginning of school suddenly not bring it in for a whole week?! That tickes me off more than anything at all!
> 
> I'm sorry, I really do like her teachers & have had no problems communicating with them before but this just really rubbed me the wrong way today.
> 
> OK, I'm going to go play with the kids & TC's class bunny & calm down.



How old is this poor child??? My class are in Year 5 and 6 and I don't even do that to them if they don't bring in their homework!! Mostly I just ask them to bring it in Monday. Some teachers give us all a bad name! Tell Savannah to move to my school, I give out lollies to good kids like her


----------



## crewsk

Alix said:
			
		

> Pssst! Crewsk, you shouldn't tell people you put Savannah in a cage to sleep!


 

Oh, so, no one else puts their kids to sleep in cages? 


Mrsmac, she's 5. I was ready to throttle her teacher yesterday but I stayed nice & calm when I spoke with her on the phone. If we don't hear anything back from her Monday or Tuesday, hubby & I are going to have a chat with someone at the school. Savannah said she wanted to come to your school & then asked if you have a pet kangaroo!


----------



## shannon in KS

I feel your immediate family comes first also.  I have family 2 hours away, and they celebrate Christmas at 8 in the morning.  When I had a baby, I quit going!  What fun memories to let your little ones naturally wake up and teeter into the family room, and their eyes light up and they start squealing!  That was not going to be spoiled by getting everyone up, dressed, and on the road by 6AM.  I am already feeling the holiday stress from the family as to where I will be and when and how long and so on.  Being divorced, my ex and I now make sure on the holidays that we each have our daughter half of the day, and a lot of times, other family members are NOT happy when they get shorted on time.  It is very hard to make everyone happy, no matter how much you want to please everyone. 





			
				licia said:
			
		

> Regarding the problem with how to spend holidays. We used to be torn apart by where we would be each holiday. We tried to visit well before the holiday and spent the actual holiday in our own home with our children. If our parents wanted to visit during that time, that was fine, but they knew that our own family came first. Sometimes our children spend the holidays with us and sometimes they don't. We understand either way. Memories of the past are fine, but I wanted to make new traditions and memories with my own little family, and encourage my kids to do so too.


----------



## mrsmac

crewsk said:
			
		

> Oh, so, no one else puts their kids to sleep in cages?
> 
> 
> Mrsmac, she's 5. I was ready to throttle her teacher yesterday but I stayed nice & calm when I spoke with her on the phone. If we don't hear anything back from her Monday or Tuesday, hubby & I are going to have a chat with someone at the school. Savannah said she wanted to come to your school & then asked if you have a pet kangaroo!



I think homework in Kindergarten is ridiculous anyway, Erin has a home reader but its no big deal if it doesn't get read, and sometimes she has to bring something specific in but again its very casual. I think the teacher needs to be aware of what her aid is doing, I wouldn't say anything to the school at this point, wait and see if there are any other incidents. Sad as it is you will get a reputation for being a problem if you complain over what a teacher perceives to be a minor incident ( I know its not but I also know how teacher's minds think!)
Tell Savannah sorry no kangaroo but we do have a Tawny Frogmouth  that lives in a tree in the playground sometimes (like an owl) and lots of cockatoos and native birds. Tell her she could go to he beach on Christmas day too!!


----------



## cartwheelmac

*Homeschool*

We homeschool and it takes away the need for homework. What ticks me off is everybody thinks we are supposed to be in school just because the public schools haven't let out! People think we skip school just because we are out and about before 3:00 pm!

Any thoughts?

Cameron


----------



## licia

My dil homeschools their girls, ages 11, 6, 4. They use so many practical things to include in their curriculum and have such learning experiences at different times of the day.  All of them seem to be ahead of their age group in public school. One thing that surprises me is the way they look at everything differently as though there is something to learn in so many everyday experiences.  The 4 year old is learning to read by herself, mostly from hearing and seeing her sisters.


----------



## shannon in KS

Let me outtaaaaa heerrrrrreeee!  My little one came down with the flu yesterday, and I am soooo tired of being stuck in the house!  The weather is beauutiful!  AND, she is freezing, so I turned the heat up for her and it is like 80 degrees in here!  WWWWAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!


----------



## pdswife

It's so sad when little ones are sick.  Here's hoping she feels better very soon.


----------



## Barbara L

Shannon,

I hope your daughter feels better soon, for both of your sakes!

 Barbara


----------



## shannon in KS

Thank you Barbara and pds!  I think she is feeling better, just had an apple and peanut butter.  And being she slept all day.....  she is not tired!  Where's that thankful thread at?  She is chattering away and playing with a globe.  "why do your fingers get wrinkly in the bathtub", "how do you say ant-arctica" 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





 yak yak yak!


----------



## cartwheelmac

Just be happy that your not in our family. OK One person gets sick then another until a month later we are finally over it! It is horrible! But we are not sick right now. 

What I am mad about is my little sisters got into my photos and scattered them everywhere!!!

Cameron


----------



## Alix

OK, new vent for me. Just petty stuff. Squished a finger moving the treadmill, been van free all morning while the tailpipe gets fixed, can't find something I wanted, then totally  the peanut butter cookies I was making. Now I have a batch of cinnamon bun dough rising and I can't help wondering what I will end up doing to THAT. LOL. 

Thanks. I feel better now. AHHHHHH!


----------



## licia

Alix, I feel for you going without your transportation.  After a really good time at the farm for a week, Dh woke Sunday morning when we were to come home and had a very bad attack of vertigo.  Needless to say, he couldn't drive.  I had to call dd and dgd and have them drive up to drive my car home and I drove the truck home.  On the way back, the brake lights on the car stayed on, the cruise control stopped working and the a/c stopped.  I got it out of the shop yesterday (and should have driven it today to make sure it worked).  Dh is ok now, thank goodness, although he has mostly piddled around the house this week taking it easy.


----------



## texasgirl

I told them I didn't want to put up Christmas crap, I told them, they wouldn't listen, so, after getting griped at for 2 weeks, I went ahead and got it out of the attic. Put up prelit tree, and low and behold, 1/2 the lights don't work. Aynone else have a prelit? They are a #$%&* to check lights, so, we checked lights, fuses, plugs, still don't work So guess where the tree is now????
I don't want ANY christmas stuff in my house. AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!
DH says, go buy a new one. You know, a while back, I would have jumped in the car in a second and done just that. But, being grown up like I'm suppose to be, I said no, we can't afford it. So, today sucks and I just want to go back to bed. Thanks for listening! This is another reason I HATE CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## wasabi

*texasgirl, we've all had days like this. I like to go into a dark quiet room and sit awhile till I'm ready to go back out to face the world. Hang in there.*


----------



## texasgirl

Thanks wasabi!
I know I shouldn't feel this way,but, I just can't help it sometimes. Seems when I don't want to do something that I know should and when I finally try to do it, it all messes up somehow. Oh well.


----------



## pdswife

Sorry Texas.. sounds like a good day to 
sit in your favorite comfy chair and read.  
No work allowed.  Just be mellow and do
nice things for you.


----------



## Brooksy

Some days are destined to be sh***y. That's what makes to good ones great. 
The phoofle valve was designed to blow. 
In the morning light all looks rosy - hold that sight & thought for the rest of the day.

Bad days are forgettable, you can't forget good days.


----------



## texasgirl

Thanks brooksy You have the best way with words.


----------



## Brooksy

texasgirl said:
			
		

> Thanks brooksy You have the best way with words.



When yer've been graced with looks of  the north end of a south bound camel yer gotta look at life's events with an air of humour.

People listen to you, your gripes are fair but not insurmountable.

Thanks mate.


----------



## cartwheelmac

The little girls messed up my bed so I didn't make it because since my older best brother friend is out of town I just used his bed but he is coming home today so I have to make my bed! I just don't feel like it. 

Cameron


----------



## urmaniac13

GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
All I needed to do was simply nip off to the post office around the corner to send out a packet for Cris... now at the entrance one attendant tells me that all the stickers with bar code and big writing must be all covered.  So I have to scuttle back to our house and put masking tape over them, went back like a nerd.  The same dude says okay now it is fine.  Then at the desk the receptionist tells me the box must be completely wrapped with a proper packing paper.  I have seen millions of times unwrapped, just sealed boxes mailed out and arrived fine,  what is the problem, but there is no use arguing, this guy won't budge.  So I had to go home like a super nerd, to wrap this accursed box.  Then I found out we don't have a packing paper at home.  However it is 13:03 by now, the shops are closed for "siesta" at 13, they won't reopen until at least 16, by that time the post office will be closed.  Tomorrow is a holiday in Italy so we will have to wait until Friday.  Also because of all this I missed my gym class!!   Ugh... does someone have a dose of valium for me????


----------



## texasgirl

Wow, sorry your having a crappy day, UR!!
Hopefully the rest of it will be better!!


----------



## SizzlininIN

Sorry Urman.......do you have a brown paper grocery bag?  I use those instead of buying brown postal paper.


----------



## urmaniac13

Thanx Texas and Sizzlin!!  a hot big mug of earl grey, cuddling with my hamster, and now your kind words made me feel much better now 
Yes Sizzlin, that would have been a good idea, if the supermarkets here used brown paper bags... but unfortunately they all use plastic bags now which I think is horrible for our environment, we try to bring our own containers to carry our purchases when we remember, or if we forget it we try to find an empty box usually found somewhere in the store... anyway I talked to Cris and it was not so urgent and we could calmly wait until Friday... since I missed the gym today and it will be closed tomorrow, maybe we will go do some cycling outside if the weather is nice enough!!  
Good day back to you guys!!


----------



## mish

I'ts not so much that I am angry, but more upset. What would you think?

A few days prior to Thanksgiving I sent my friend a "CHEERFUL" funny Thanksgiving email, wishing her & hubby a Happy Thanksgiving. We are not the closest of friends, but wanted to wish them well. I didn't hear back for several days, so I resent the email (thinking I made a computer/address error.) A few days ago this is the email reply I received:


"Bet you think I'm a real turkey, but we've had some sadness in the 
family. 
Just before Thanksgiving, my little two year old nephew died. He dove 
into 
a tub of water, knocked himself out, and drowned. There was only about 
3 
inches of water in it! So unbelievably sad. I've been in Chicago, and 
came 
home for Thanksgiving to a house full of relatives.

I'll write more later, but I just wanted to say thanks for the good 
wishes! 
Hope all is well."

I was so sad and upset to read this email. I couldn't stop visualizing the horrific tragedy, since she went into detail. I don't know her family, but I think it's a terrible email to send to anyone. I have not replied, because all I can think to say is "I'm so very sorry for your loss." If it were me, I simply would have said - sorry I didn't get back, there was a death in the family, and wish me a happy holiday, and thank me for the email. Maybe some people just need the drama. It worked. I feel sick, having read it on-line -- and so graphic to boot.

I guess, for safety's sake, if this helps someone save a life, then, I'm okay with passing it along.


----------



## texasgirl

Mish, I would not have sent such an email myself. To say that he dove into the tub, just sounds like it was his fault and there lies the blame. that is a horrible way of putting it!! No, I would have just said a death in the family also. Very sad tragedy. So young.


----------



## urmaniac13

Yes, I agree it was not a very prudent thing for your friend to having gone into such details on an e-mail.  I don't know how close she was to her nephew, but if she was, though, you need to remember that when someone is grieving deeply and intensely, they are not in the mode to think in proper manner or use common sense, they just need to gush their heart out at any given chance.  It is so sad that this tragedy had to happen... and I am sorry that you had to be informed in such a manner....
Hugs!!!  ((((Mish))))


----------



## pdswife

How sad Mish.  
I'm sorry the email upset you  I don't think I would have gone into such details...but like ....Urmaniac said you're friend is grieving and so sad right now.  She prbly didn't take the time to think the email out.  She just sent it and her emotions are showing.

smiles, T


----------



## buckytom

mish, i wanted to thank you for posting this. my son is getting to the dangerous stage, where he's able to get into bad situations. you can get complacent after a while. it always helps to be reminded of what dangers, even the most obscure and seemingly harmless, lie around every corner for a 2 year old.
thanks again, and i'm sorry for your friend's loss. you're a good and compassionate soul to feel the way you do.


----------



## licia

My little grandson just turned 2 and it is certain they have to be watched every minute. They can do some daredevil stunts. I really feel for you receiving bad news like that, but agree with the others that your friend isn't thinking normally at the time. Quite a shock to her, I'm sure.


----------



## mish

Thank you Texas, urmaniac, pds, BT and licia.  I really appreciate all of your input/feedback.


----------



## Brooksy

Mish,
I read with great sorrow your post and your friend's letter. Grief overwhelmed me for a while, the lose of a innocent is hard to take. Perhaps your friend needs your support. She and her entire family have my prayers and most positive thoughts at this time.


----------



## Barbara L

Mish,

Elsewhere you said that you are a very private person.  That is probably why you could not really understand why your friend wrote all the details of her little boy's tragic death.  My life is an open book, and I can definitely understand why she did that.  Some of us need to work out our grief within.  Others of us (myself included) need to work our grief out in a different way.  Telling others what happened is a way for us to work through our grief.

 Barbara


----------



## mish

Brooksy said:
			
		

> Mish,
> I read with great sorrow your post and your friend's letter. Grief overwhelmed me for a while, the lose of a innocent is hard to take. Perhaps your friend needs your support. She and her entire family have my prayers and most positive thoughts at this time.


 
Thank you, Brooksy. I felt as you did (& several others here), when I read it on the internet. I am so sorry for your loss. I "*understand*" what it is like to lose someone. Recently I learned of a friend passing on. I did not run to the internet and send out emails... it is certainly NOT about being a private person or not understanding.


----------



## Alix

Ah mish, I am sorry to hear the news of that tragedy and of your upset. I do hope you aren't more upset by some of the comments your post has engendered. I think everyone here is trying to help you in their own ways. We all react differently to grief and loss, and sometimes it is difficult to understand why others do as they do. 

I hope you feel better soon mish, that is very upsetting news. Big virtual hug to you.


----------



## Barbara L

Mish,

I'm sorry if you thought I was attacking you.  I was just saying that some people grieve the way your friend did, by sharing all the details with everyone.  Others prefer to keep the details to themselves.

Barbara


----------



## texasgirl

Well, sorry for all the venting lately, but, it seems like nothing is going right!
To start off, we can only afford to get the boys one video game for Christmas. Nothing else, just one thing. Then I'm not getting anything from DH, AGAIN. Brat, yes I know. I get him something every year, no matter what. I finally get my tree up and start to feel a little spirit. Hubby decided that I can get the camera that I was wanting since I get a $100 bonus at work and that would help pay for it. Today, I find out that isn't gonna happen, company is in a bad way. So, no camera. I get home and my wonderful four legged kids, ATE HALF MY TREE!! Ornaments broken, lights eaten, snow garland, shredded! I was so angry and I was already upset over the bonus. The tree is back in the attic. I've never taken anything for depression, but, now, I'm wondering about that. I feel so low right now. It's hard to explain the feeling. It all sounds really stupid reading it,but, it's just a lot of little things building and building and I just want to sleep through Christmas and get it over with as soon as it can get gone. Sorry I'm ranting on, just needed to get it off my chest you don't have to reply, just wanted it out, DH doesn't understand depression. He thinks it's just something you need to get over.


----------



## urmaniac13

Oh no Texas... what a day to FORGET!!  But try to cheer up and smile... I am sure your smiles will reflect on something and will come back to you..... I hope things will look up for ya!!  You deserve it!!


----------



## texasgirl

Thanks UR!!
I just wish DH would let me spend more on the boys. I really miss wrapping all the presents and putting it all under the tree and seeing their faces light up. It's not really that we can't afford some more, HE just says we can't afford more.
DH said that once they were 18, no more extravagance. They were old enough to know that we can't kill our money on a bunch of Christmas. I thought I was Scrooge, well, he's THE GRINCH!!
That's alright, he'll regret it when we have grandkids


----------



## licia

I certainly hope your Christmas season gets better.  I've had a bit of the Christmas blues so everything that has happened made me feel like crying. I suppose some of it was being overwhelmed with so much to do.  My gd called a while ago and said she would pick me up to go to St. Augustine to see the lights and ride the horse drawn carriages. I had completely forgotten she had even mentioned it. It seems that it is hard to achieve the right balance at this time of the year - either we don't have enough to do or get, or we have too much to do or get.  I like a simpler time.  Dh and I don't exchange presents, but we did get a new computer chair, which I haven't had much time to try out.  I hope you can focus on other parts of the season and enjoy it more as the days go by.


----------



## pdswife

I'm sorry Texas.  I really am.
It's too bad you don't live near here... we could go for 
a cup of coffee and cry on each others shoulders.   

For now though... a hug and a smile.


----------



## texasgirl

Me too, pds!!


----------



## kadesma

Texas, I understand how you feel..My Dh is not a Christmas person, I am and I just do what I want..I usually, back off when something or someone has an opinion that is different than mine..When it comes to the kids and grandkids..I spend MY money and get what I want for them...I know it's all in how we were brought up, His mom never even put up a tree after the boys found out there was no Santa, they would get needed things unwrapped as gifts...Socks, underwear, that type of thing..She decided when I had our first child to put up a tree and do her thing, that is when I dug in my heels and we did NOT spend both the days at her home..We spent them with my parents who knocked them selves out all year long for us..DH went along, we visited with his mom and invited her to my folks on every Christmas eve after that first time... So she was never alone, but,I learned not to keep my mouth shut if something was important to me. I don't care if Dh and I echange gifts really, we do so much during the year, but he is always Santa to me and the kids now, even though he grumps for at least two weeks about how he hates Christmas You need to talk this over with DH gifts don't have to be bank breaking, in fact my two boys just poke each other and say see what mom made me when they open some of the gifts..Both love cookies, sooo Chocolate crinkles for the oldest and chocolate chip for the youngest, at least 5 dozen They also love the cold package that comes from the refridgerator, a box of peppered bacon and breakfast sausages...They spend most of the night trying to sneak off with each others box...So there are lots of ways to skin a cat Texas, just figure out which end to start pulling on 
Now, as for the tree, your 4 legged kiddos, need a bad boy or girl, you need a new tree and some cranberry and popcorn strung up and put on with lights and to go look in the mirror and smile at that pretty face looking back at you...I'm smiling at you now, give yourself a hug from me, Cade, Ethan, Carson and soon to be Olivia...Things will fall into place for you...
kadesma


----------



## licia

I really put Mr Scrooge (DH) to work today. I had more than I could handle, so I let him put up and decorate the tree.  I also let him wrap all the presents. He fussed a bit to start, but believe it or not, he had a much better and more of a Christmas attitude when he finished.  My gd said she was so surprised when she called and he told her he was trimming the tree. BTW, the lights were beautiful.  We didn't ride in the carriage, but on the trolley. They give a longer tour and also Christmas music is played while the tour is taking place. Then we went to a grill and had supper. I had a beef tenderloin sandwich which was wonderful, but too large. I only ate half of it and brought the other half home. Dgs was asleep as soon as we started the car almost to come home.  The night air was wonderful and the stars were out in profusion - a really good time, even if I was so tired I could drop.


----------



## pdswife

Sounds like you and gd made some great memories!


----------



## AllenOK

Last night, I was sitting in my recliner, watching TV.  Suddenly, my 19" CRT monitor shorted out!  It arced so badly, it literally scared the poop out of one of our cats!

Needless to say, I'm not exactly happy to loose a $300 monitor, but, I have a couple spares.  One of those spare monitors apparently doesn't work anymore, but PeppA's old monitor does.  Now I've got to get used to a 17".


----------



## wasabi

*Awww nuts, Allen. *


----------



## thier1754

Is it too late to join the vent? Re: folks who call you "ma'am" instead of "miss".  How about the blonde twenty year old barista who condescendingly called me "hun" when picking up my latte in the drive-through coffee place today? I figure she either was actually saying, "How nice they let you out of the rest home today...Do you need a fresh Depends?" or she just calls everyone "hun".  I'm hoping for option B.


----------



## wasabi

*I think she calls everyone "hon". I have a bad habit of call people "sweetie", but when when I do, it's with endearment.*


----------



## Barbara L

Here in South Carolina you get called everything from "honey" to "sweetie" to "baby," and it is not derogatory in any way.  That is just how some of the people here talk.  Mostly it is women, but not always.  Even my doctor calls me sweetie.  

 Barbara


----------



## thier1754

Okay...I'm just being crabby, then, and not appreciating the term of endearment.  I stand corrected.


----------



## licia

Isn't it amazing what rubs us the wrong way.  I can stand the "endearments" as long as it isn't overdone. I understand they want to call you "something", but don't know your name, so they use the pet names. That is fine, but when someone says "sweetie this" and "sweetie that", I begin to think it is a bit much.  I supppose as I get older and can't remember names as well I may have to resort to "endearments" also.  I have 3 little grandaughters who all have 3 and 4 syllable names. It becomes an exercise in semantics and brain teasers to always say the right name at the right time.  I'm beginning to understand why my mom literally "calls the roll' when talking to us. She may call 3 names before she gets to the right one.  I've noticed myself calling my little grandson by my son's name a few times. I wonder what the psychology would be on this, or if it is just another human quirk as we grow older. BTW, this isn't venting - just wondering idly.


----------



## texasgirl

AllenMI said:
			
		

> Last night, I was sitting in my recliner, watching TV. Suddenly, my 19" CRT monitor shorted out! It arced so badly, it literally scared the poop out of one of our cats!
> 
> Needless to say, I'm not exactly happy to loose a $300 monitor, but, I have a couple spares. One of those spare monitors apparently doesn't work anymore, but PeppA's old monitor does. Now I've got to get used to a 17".


 
Tell Santa that he better hurry up with your new one 
That's awful Allen!! That's a lot of money to literally go up in smoke.


----------



## urmaniac13

Probably it is just my old virgo cynical self, but in too many situations being called "hun", "sweetie" "love" etc. sounds rather too sarcastic to me...


----------



## luvs

venting, huh? know when you cry to till it hurts? that's me. over so many different things. be it 10:14 or not, i am up for a drink already.


----------



## texasgirl

luvs_food said:
			
		

> venting, huh? know when you cry to till it hurts? that's me. over so many different things. be it 10:14 or not, i am up for a drink already.


 
Aww, Luvs, I hope you feel better!!
BIG HUG!!!


----------



## Constance

My husband often calls women "hon"...but it's not condescending, just sweet. He loves women. I use "Sweetie," "Honey", "Dear" and a lot of other endearments when talking to people. I'm old enough to do that. 

Talking about lack of Christmas spirit, that's me. The almost 17 year old grandson we've raised since age 3 is now estranged from us, having fallen victom to methamphetamines. His birthday is on the 20th of December, but I doubt we'll be seeing him, since he stole and forged several of our checks. I haven't put the tree up...we usually bring in a big ficus from the greenhouse...and haven't ordered my poinsettias, because it's been too cold to deliver them. I'm in a "blue funk", and I just can't seem to snap out of it.


----------



## pdswife

Sounds like you have a good reason to be in a funk Constance.
Drug habits ...they sure ruin a lot of lives.   I'm sorry that you're dealing with it.  I hope that your grandson gets help and that you can all be a family again.


----------



## urmaniac13

Connie, that is so sad... every kids and youngsters would get into some crazy things which is just natural, but certain things are just plain dangerous and harmful which would do them or anyone, anything no good... it is too often that they realise way too late that they have been hurting themselves more than anyone else.  I really hope he will find some good help and guidance soon, which he so badly needs right now, and will come back to the right track... (((Hugs)))


----------



## texasgirl

I'm sorry, Constance! Hopefully, your grandson will get the help he needs. Just know that he probably would never hurt you in anyway when he isn't messed up. Drugs do the worst to peoples minds and they just don't think what it does to their loved ones. Just try to remember that you sweet grandson is in there somewhere and will be back some day. {{{{hugs}}}}


----------



## licia

Constance, I'm so sorry about this.  I certainly hope help for him is eminent and things are better shortly.  The song "Have yourself a merry little Christmas" always makes me teary eyed thinking that things aren't always right at Christmas, but there is hope that it will be better soon. Hope it is for you.


----------



## shannon in KS

It will get better, Constance.  We went through it with my brother in the teenage years, and it was awful to see, and still heart-wrenching to look back on.  I agree with texas, drugs are mind-altering, he has no idea how much he has hurt you or other loved ones. With help and support and love, he will get better and overcome.  Today, my brother is the best son, brother, husband, and daddy to three beautiful children. Sometimes hitting rock bottom is the only way to see up, and the family's love will bring him back.  Our prayers are with you.


----------



## Constance

Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement. I can only pray that he finds his way. 
After I posted here the other night, I gave myself a good talking to. I have a daughter with a precious little 7 year old boy and 2 fine step-sons to whom I am grandma, and 2 step children and their families who are like my own. Except for the son in Florida, they are all coming to my house for Christmas dinner, and I need to think about giving them a happy time.


----------



## licia

We were doing quite well for this season and my grandaughter got served with papers to go to court next Tuesday 800 miles away. Her ex only wants their son when he is in school and she can't allow him to stay out of school to visit his dad then.  Also ex is more than $10,000 in arrears in child support and she can't afford to take off time from work, get a new lawyer and pay expenses for the trip. He pays nothing, has no insurance and only calls him once in a great while. He works "under the table" so his wages can't be attached since he files no tax return, or has no SS or Wh deducted. I can't believe the court system allows crud of the earth to have such privileges and access to the court while paying nothing.


----------



## texasgirl

That's horrible. She needs to keep the court appointment and show that she is with the law, and tell them about how he is. Tell her to go to her local welfare office and ask them to refer a lawyer to help her get the child support and other things that the child needs. Most of the time, they will jump to help.
I agree about the deadbeats! My sister had one of those. She finally got the last payment last week. What is sad, her kids are now 24 and 21!! It took that long to pay what he owed.


----------



## pdswife

Licia.. I'm sorry!  I understand how your niece feels... I've been there and well it just plain SUCKS!  I'll send her some warm wishes and some happy thoughts.


----------



## DampCharcoal

Grrrrrr. Can I blow my top with self censored profanity? The past couple days have been a real test.


----------



## shannon in KS

DampCharcoal said:
			
		

> Grrrrrr. Can I blow my top with self censored profanity? The past couple days have been a real test.


 
hahahha!  I owe ya one bud...  "what a #%&& day!  That jack#^^ cut me off on the#$%^ freeway on the way to &$%# work!!!  Then, get this, THEN, my dumb*&#$ coworker, showed up about 8 %$^#:49 A %#^ M!!!!  Don't ^#$#$#% get me started on the $^##$  %^^#^ Christmas shoppers!!!! BAH  $%#$^#  HUMBUG!!!!!"


----------



## DampCharcoal

Yep, you pretty much nailed it Shannon! All I can add is that the f*#&@ idiots that get in my f*!)*@ way should all burn in h@&*. Stupid b*$*!^!


----------



## wasabi

&%$#$#$ Right!


----------



## Jikoni

I know I am not allowed to say naughty words in this forum, but I am really tempted.Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. (breath in)Well, I am supposed to teach these adult students at a christian centre(they are from all denominations and from all over the world and are just finishing their course with an African cultural night)how to cook chapatis and beef samosas. Thing is for the samosas as tomorrow is a really busy day for me(my kids school carol service  in the afternoon and the african cultural night in the evening) I really have to cook the samosa filling tonight. I normally cook chicken samosa for the family,my kids don't like beef samos(slang) and I keep tasting this beef samosa filling and something is missing, it just doesn't taste like I know it to taste.Something needs to be added to it and I am not sure what.  My hubby is not home from work and he will be going out on a dad's night with other dads from my daughter's class.He usually tastes it and says what he thinks it is that needs to be added because he knows how I prepare the stuff.I also need to make maandazis for the after carol service do tomorrow, and dinner.I feel like going on some more, but I better not.


----------



## Alix

Whoa...Shannon and Damp...time to stop driving. Get away from the madness! I completely relate, I live 5 minutes from the largest Mall in the world (no it isn't Mall of America although they would like you to think that.) and let me tell you the traffic there around Christmas is downright horrifying. We have to go past it to take our kids to their dance lessons and starting in about November we need to plan an extra 5 minutes at least just to get around all the stupidity there. OK you two, breathe, and pour a glass of wine/beer and put your feet up. Breathe. 

sizzles, life sure does get crazy about now. I wish I could help and come taste your filling for you (sounds yummy!) but the best I can do is suggest you maybe look for a recipe on here. Maybe that would spark something for you and you would realize what was missing. In any case, hang in there, the crazy time is nearly done. And feel free to vent as long as you like, thats what this thread is for. We all need to do that from time to time.


----------



## urmaniac13

Ooooh, poor thing... just do what you can, if something is beyond your control and can not be done, well, let it go... There is a limit to what one person can handle!!  that is Cris's philosophy, who is constantly swamped with 100 things that need to be done sooner than yesterday.  
Try not to stress yourself out that is the last thing you want these days!!

Well, as for samosas there seem to be lots and lots of recipes out in the internet, I am not sure which, or if any of them are authentic and truly good, so I let you give it a look for yourself... I hope it will help!!

Google search result for Kenyan samosa

Good luck and I hope you will find some peace, and tomorrow will be a great day for you!!


----------



## DampCharcoal

Sorry, folks! I went a bit off the deep end during the Christmas Shopping Gauntlet of Death. I should have known better than to spew obscenities. If it makes any difference, I'm in a MUCH better mood now!


----------



## Jikoni

*Got It!*

Wow, After posting my 'venting' went and tasted  the filling, it just needed more lemon!, That's all.Seems like sometimes one has to disassociate with the food for a few minutes to get it right it it doesn't taste right(this is one spicy mother*^&%)I wish you were all my guests tonight. We could have them as starters!Someone who knows herself  would get us all margaritas.


----------



## mudbug

I have spent most of the afternoon trading emails with a co-worker on who is in charge of approvals on this project we are both working on.  

Apparently my role now includes oversight of what she is doing (my role, in addition to editing about a dozen technical reports, includes serving as the liaison between the graphics artist and the technical team, and now the person in charge of putting stuff on the project website).  

We have a rogue colleague who issues instructions to the production people (me, this co-worker, and others) without informing the project manager/deputy project manager of what she is doing, usually with erroneous results.  Said rogue is taking tomorrow off - everyone is working from home today because of the weather - so will not be around when I try to get everyone involved in a meeting tomorrow to find out for sure who does what, who approves what, yada yada. And oh, yes - we are on an accelerated schedule for completing this work.  

I have done nothing I plannned to do this afternoon (turning Structural EngineerSpeak into English).  I have, however, managed to wash and dry a load of clothes and get the tourtiere ready for baking later in between emails.


----------



## Barbara L

This has not been a good day for me.  I haven't even had a chance to talk to James about it, and he is here to pick me up now, so I'm about to go cry on his shoulder and pray really hard.  I'm very depressed about a situation at work.  I feel like packing everything up and moving very far away from here.  

 Barbara

P.S.  If you are on later sis, and you're ready to have your shoulder cried on, or by then be blasted by a major VENT, I'll be on later.  Something put in motion by the "Nutt" if you get my meaning.


----------



## texasgirl

Oh Barbara, I'm sorry your feeling that way. I hope everything turns around for you! I know James will make you feel better anyway!!
{{{{{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}}}}}


----------



## texasgirl

Great!! Our boss decided to have our Christmas party tomorrow instead of next week, well, my nephew got my youngest son's name and had me order his gift 2 weeks ago. IT'S NOT HERE!! Our party is at 12 noon and the mail doesn't run here until 3 which the party will be over and everyone gone then!

I will be soooo glad when Christmas is over!!!


----------



## kadesma

Barb,
I know we shouldn't blame the season for all our woes, but, we get so busy preparing and wanting things just so for those we love, that at times things run over us...By now I bet you've talked to James and are feeling a little better...I hope so..Just remember, there are so many of us who love you and want things to be just right for the two of you...Things will clear up and YOU will come out on top...I've had a couple of days when I would gladly have torn down the house and left town for good..Then I looked at my kids and my grandkids and DH and realized..This is where I belong and I love these people, I'll just turn my back on anything unpleasant and if it doesn't go away, I'll work to get rid of it....Just remember any of us would be glad to help you fight the fight...
kadesma


----------



## cartwheelmac

Ah! Shoot! I can't karma anymore because I gave out karma to ten people. Shoot!

Cameron


----------



## Barbara L

kadesma said:
			
		

> Then I looked at my kids and my grandkids and DH and realized..This is where I belong and I love these people, I'll just turn my back on anything unpleasant and if it doesn't go away, I'll work to get rid of it....Just remember any of us would be glad to help you fight the fight...
> kadesma


Thanks!

Actually, if I pack up and move, James will be going with me, and we will be closer to family--either mine in California or his in Iowa.  Neither of us has anyone here (except each other and a great church family and best friend).

As a matter of fact, a few days ago, I was trying to take a nap after work, and I could not get to sleep for an hour.  Every time I closed my eyes, I saw a house surrounded by snow and kept getting this weird thought that we should move to Ottumwa (where James was born and raised).  I would love nothing more than to be near my family in California, but to be honest, I don't think we could ever afford to live there.  Anyway, it's all in God's hands.  As long as I am with James, I don't care where I am, but I could really do without these problems at work.  

 Barbara


----------



## cartwheelmac

Well, hope you're feeling better Barbara L.

Cameron


----------



## Barbara L

Thanks Cameron.  I am feeling better because I know that my boss doesn't control my life.  Someone much higher up does.   And James is very supportive, so that also makes me feel better.

 Barbara

P.S. When I got in the car, James looked at me and asked what was wrong.  I started bawling and said, "Can we go to Taco Bell?"  I told him my problems, then I said that I needed either 7,000 Taco Supremes or a 5 gallon vat of mashed potatoes and gravy!!!


----------



## cartwheelmac

lol!

Cameron


----------



## licia

Barbara, you've probably discovered this for yourself, but I didn't until after I wasn't working anymore: There is more than one reason you are working where you are. I wish I had known that or had time to think about it when I was working.  I always considered myself working just to earn a living and never thought about my influence on those around me.  I always tried to be fair and honest about my work, but never saw there was a much deeper reason I was placed where I was.  I've tried to use the same principle for wherever I am or go since then. I've noticed that people feel free to approach me and talk, mostly older people. They always seem to feel better after we've talked a bit. I hope your life gets less stressful and you turn your lemons into lemonade.


----------



## cartwheelmac

Last night I felt depressed about work. First Mommy tells us to work on our room (or better known as Sea of Clothes), then Daddy tells us to wash the dishes! AHHHHHH! 

Cameron


----------



## urmaniac13

cartwheelmac said:
			
		

> Last night I felt depressed about work. First Mommy tells us to work on our room (or better known as Sea of Clothes), then Daddy tells us to wash the dishes! AHHHHHH!
> 
> Cameron


 
Oh, and Cameron, would you please stop breaking stuff while cartwheeling in the living room!!


----------



## cartwheelmac

Oohhh! You sound just like my dad! "Cartwheeling is for outside!" I have kicked one person inside, and 3 outside! I do handstands inside on the front door (but I can't have shoes!).

Cameron


----------



## urmaniac13

*DANGER!!  EVERYONE STAY CLEAR!!  CAMERON IS CARTWHEELING!!*


----------



## cartwheelmac

Sorry didn't mean to kick your head!

Cameron


----------



## Maidrite

Cameron, Girl calm down, Santa is on the way, You and Grace are just two sweethearts ! Hold on tight to each other and your other sibs, just can't ever replace them.


----------



## Jikoni

Barbara L, hope you are feeling much better today.Give this to your boss   But only in your head.


----------



## Barbara L

licia said:
			
		

> Barbara, you've probably discovered this for yourself, but I didn't until after I wasn't working anymore: There is more than one reason you are working where you are. I wish I had known that or had time to think about it when I was working. I always considered myself working just to earn a living and never thought about my influence on those around me. I always tried to be fair and honest about my work, but never saw there was a much deeper reason I was placed where I was. I've tried to use the same principle for wherever I am or go since then. I've noticed that people feel free to approach me and talk, mostly older people. They always seem to feel better after we've talked a bit. I hope your life gets less stressful and you turn your lemons into lemonade.


Thanks Licia.  Yes, I learned a long time ago that I have always ended up right where I need to be.  And I am aware of the influence I have on those around me, especially as a teacher.  But I also know that I have been having very strong feelings lately (this has only happened once before to me--and I acted on it then) that it is time to move on.  I may be completely wrong.  And we can't afford to move.  But if that is what is meant to be, the means to do it will be there too.   

Thanks Sizzles.  Will do!

 Barbara


----------



## pdswife

Long story short....
The neighbors dog got out of their yard  and went after our chickens!
Three of them are ok.... but Melly our blonde one, the most friendly
and our favorite... is missing two big piles of feathers. She limped her way into the berry bushes ( too over grown for humans to enter) and won't or can't come out. I'm so worried about her... and so sad. And so angry. I know the dog was just doing what dogs do but... those are my babies.


----------



## Barbara L

Oh pdswife!  I hope Melly is just hiding while she either heals or (best case scenario) just unruffles.  

 Barbara


----------



## shannon in KS

oh, pds!  I know how you feel!  I grew up on a farm, and all the animals were like my pets! Pigs, cows, chickens, ducks, horses.  We even incubated some quail eggs one time (I about had my mom convinced they were snakes at one point  ) I still have pictures of most of my buddies, too.  I went through a vegetarian phase after I figured out where all my friends were disappearing to   The neighbor dogs got out one time and did the same thing and killed Mr. Cuckleburr, my favorite red rooster!  Hopefully Melly will pull through.  Do you think she will be ok in the bushes overnight?  Or can you coax her into the roost?


----------



## pdswife

Luckily  she came home!!!  She's in the cage with the other chickens now.  Her tail feathers are missing and she's very scared but I think she'll be ok.   I guess I kind of freaked out a little too soon.    That's me though.  I'm always ready to panic. lol.


----------



## Barbara L

Yay Melly!!!  

 Barbara


----------



## texasgirl

I'm so glad that she came home!! What a relief for you! You will be able to sleep better tonight knowing that she is okay and safe.


----------



## pdswife

Thanks guys!   I didn't know I cared that much but.. I guess I do.


----------



## kadesma

Glad for your happy ending..Poor little Melly, wounded pride and no tail feathers...Maybe Santa will bring her hula skirt    Really Pds, glad she is okay..

kadesma


----------



## pdswife

Thanks Kadesma.   I just went and checked on her and she's almost back to normal. ( not in feathers but in attitude.)  : )


----------



## -DEADLY SUSHI-

Im lonely. Im a nice good looking guy. All I get is pooped upon. No matter what or how I try I am alone. Merry Christmas.


----------



## pdswife

sushi, you're not alone.  You have us.  WE CARE!!!!!!!


----------



## shannon in KS

awwww, sushi!  Everything will work out in it's own good time!  You get pooped on cause others are not enlightened enough to understand what a great person you are.  Someday, you will meet someone that is at the same place on the same path!


----------



## buckytom

sush, the grass is always greener...

i've heard it and experienced it many times. when you stop looking, and are just ok with whom and where you are, you'll meet someone.
and then that's only the beginning.
then you have to work to stay happy. believe me, being alone can look like pretty green grass as well.

hey, the offer to hook you up with a joisey chick still stands... 
booka-chicka-booka-chicka-bow-bow (remember my pimp music?) 

pdswife, YAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!
i'm happy for your melly. i wonder if she ejected her tail feathers as a flight/escape response, almost like a fighter jet ejects chaff, to throw off the path of the attacking bogey, or in this case, the dog.
don't worry, they'll grow back before you know it. make sure you increase the amounts of vitamins, ans especially calcium in their diet for the near future. stressful situations in the hen house like that one will tax their health, and will need a little boost of nutrition.


----------



## urmaniac13

I will send my buddy Tigger to cheer you up, Sushi...
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





These schwucky blue Christmases, been there done that more than once for myself!!  But never stop believing that when time is right, and very often when you are least expecting, your princess charming will find you.  Or you will find her.  She is more unlikely to appear when you are trying too hard to find her though, when you are in this mode it is more likely that you would end up with Miss Wrong.  So just let things happen, and keep on being your charming self... as for now, call or visit your buddy(buddies), or anyone who means something special to you, or as someone suggested a little while ago, why don't you volunteer and share the spirit with people who are less fortunate?  I hope you will find a little happiness and cheer, you deserve it... and believe that some day soon, you will be enjoying many years of beautiful christmases full of smiles and love!!  And also don't forget, anytime you feel lonesome, we are always here to give you  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




's and 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




's!!

And Trish, I am so happy that this scary incident saw a happy ending!!  It must have been sooooo frightening for you, not to mention to poor Melly!!  I would have died of a heartattack!!  Give her a tender loving hug for me!!


----------



## pdswife

Bad news... Good news.

We are having a windstorm.... one of the huge trees in our yard just fell.
Hit the deck and did some damage.  Too much for any good feelings. It hit Lily Lily Queen of cats little cat house   But it missed the chicken cage by about 3 inches!  That's the good news.  I'm shaking.  A LOT!  I love wind but not today.


----------



## Barbara L

pdswife said:
			
		

> It hit Lily Lily Queen of cats little cat house


LOL  We had a "cat house" too!  It was the subject of a few jokes, especially since our cat Theodore fathered kittens with every female in the neighborhood!

I'm glad that you didn't end up with more damage than you did.  I'm sorry about your tree, and for the scare it gave you.

 Barbara


----------



## Alix

OK, my little gripe. We bought the kids a PS2 for Christmas and we all love it. Playing it all the time. So my gripe you ask? Well...yesterday the dog was being a pain in the butt so we told her to scram. She managed to get herself tangled in the controller cords and yank that game system and scratch the crap out of a disk. I really love the dog, but honestly...what an idiot! Why won't they just be still when you tell them to? The brand new disk is unplayable, and we thing the game system might have sustained damage too. NOT EVEN 3 FULL DAYS IN THE HOUSE!!!! BAH!


----------



## Barbara L

Yikes!  That's terrible Alix.  I hope the system is ok.  You know, of course, that it was not an accident.  Your dog planned it all out very carefully as a way to let you know that you are supposed to play only with her!

My mom's dog Baby would sit in front of the TV whenever she wanted attention!  Luckily she didn't learn any bad habits from your dog, or she would have ripped out the cable!   

 Barbara


----------



## cartwheelmac

Well did you see the King of the Hill where Bobby is starting this whole Jesus act. So Peggy and Bobby are playing a PS2 game called Escape From Egypt! They are running out of the red sea and Peggy says "Oh no I am running out of strength I need more milk and honey!" 

Cameron


----------



## Alix

I think the machine is OK, it has behaved normally on the other games so I think we are alright. I would just have been so #$%$#^^! if we had only had it for 3 days without something going wrong. That is one expensive little beastie.


----------



## luvs

my fridge froze my food. my caviar, my delicate proscuitto slices, my cheeses, my drinks in glass bottles (bye to those!), some of my stuff isn't frozen, though. so it's been cupboard food and eggnog if not take-out for me!


----------



## texasgirl

Mine did that before, luvs. We ended up having to lower the temp to the minimum for a few days and then reset it to where we normally keep it. We lost some food,but, it beats having to buy another frig. I hope the rest of your food is okay.


----------



## mudbug

Sliced my finger doing potatoes with my Oxo peeler - right on the very tip, where it's hard to keep a bandaid on.  I've got two on now and altho the dripping has stopped, I just _know _it'll turn into a gusher if I take them off.


----------



## texasgirl

Dang mudbug, BE CAREFUL!!
I sliced the tip of mine off on my slicer that I got from PC. It wasn't bad, but, seeing the tip of my finger, I got a little whoozy!! lol
Now when I go to one of the parties and they show the slicer, all of my family look at me and start laughing, big meanies!!


----------



## corazon

When I was in 7th grade, in home economics, I sewed my finger.  I remember going up to the teacher with a needle pointing out of both ends of my finger and she freaked!  It wasn't the first time that had happened in her class, I didn't think it was a big deal but it was treated as a big deal!  Sorry I hope I didn't gross you guys out...


----------



## 240brickman

speaking of accidentally mutilating oneself...   

When I was about 18,  while I still lived in NY,  I worked in the deli department of a supermarket.  It was only for 6 or 7 months,  after which I/we moved to PA.

I was slicing  (on one of those professional-grade deli slicers)  some pepperoni, for one of our regular customers.  I was being a little careless  (obviously)...talking to the customer,  over my shoulder...shooting the breeze.  All-of-a-sudden-like,  I thought someone had whacked me in my lower back.  Maybe one of my co-workers goofing around.  Turns out, it was just the  "shock wave"  from cutting off the top of my  (right)  thumb.  Diagonally, right through the nail  (didn't reach bone, though).

It didn't hurt  (not right away),  and I was the ONLY one in the deli that DIDN'T panic.  They hustled me into the back room, and  (after thorough washing)  sprayed a bunch of that Derma Plast onto my thumb,  and THEN wrapped me in several layers of gauze, etc.  For the rest of my shift,  I sort of sat around, watching everyone else work  (I had to wait another couple of hours before I could go home...my ride was one of my co-workers).  

I never did receive any professional medical attention;  I just waited patiently for it to heal  (which it did;  my thumb now looks good-as-new).  Took several months for it to heal up completely, though.

I should also mention  (why not---everyone's cringing already)  that I offered a reward of  $20  (a princely sum in those days)  for the return of the lost piece of my thumb.  Nope, no takers     


--J


----------



## licia

Mudbug, were you using the protective handle?  The only times I've ever hurt myself was when I tried to bypass that. Those little slices take a while to heal.


----------



## texasgirl

240brickman said:
			
		

> speaking of accidentally mutilating oneself...
> 
> When I was about 18, while I still lived in NY, I worked in the deli department of a supermarket. It was only for 6 or 7 months, after which I/we moved to PA.
> 
> I was slicing (on one of those professional-grade deli slicers) some pepperoni, for one of our regular customers. I was being a little careless (obviously)...talking to the customer, over my shoulder...shooting the breeze. All-of-a-sudden-like, I thought someone had whacked me in my lower back. Maybe one of my co-workers goofing around. Turns out, it was just the "shock wave" from cutting off the top of my (right) thumb. Diagonally, right through the nail (didn't reach bone, though).
> 
> It didn't hurt (not right away), and I was the ONLY one in the deli that DIDN'T panic. They hustled me into the back room, and (after thorough washing) sprayed a bunch of that Derma Plast onto my thumb, and THEN wrapped me in several layers of gauze, etc. For the rest of my shift, I sort of sat around, watching everyone else work (I had to wait another couple of hours before I could go home...my ride was one of my co-workers).
> 
> I never did receive any professional medical attention; I just waited patiently for it to heal (which it did; my thumb now looks good-as-new). Took several months for it to heal up completely, though.
> 
> I should also mention (why not---everyone's cringing already) that I offered a reward of $20 (a princely sum in those days) for the return of the lost piece of my thumb. Nope, no takers
> 
> 
> --J


 
   I couldn't even read all of this through. OUCH!!!!!!


----------



## licia

I didn't read it either - the first couple of lines did it for me! Anybody's blood makes me big time queasy! I have passed out from seeing my own when cut.


----------



## Alix

I am glad to know I am not the only one who has lost a piece of myself to those danged blades of torture. I lost a piece of my thumb a while back...and I was using the stupid holder thingy. My hands were wet though, and whoops! There it went. 

mudbug, there is a kind of second skin stuff you can buy at a pharmacy. It sticks anywhere and is like another layer of skin. It holds onto fingertips WAY better than a bandaid. I used it til my thumb healed up. You have my sympathies


----------



## jkath

and how did I EVER miss this thread???

I can't even begin to gripe, but I will say that my phone company has a combined IQ of 4, my gardeners have "forgotten" to service my yards after I gave them their early Christmas bonus, and my house keeps being invaded by troops of stupid ants. Yes, I know ants are smart little things, but these beasties bypass the sugar and go straight for the bathrooms and closets!


----------



## Alix

EWWWW! That is just unhappy! I feel for you jkath.


----------



## DampCharcoal

YEEOUCH! I lopped the tip of my thumb off a few years ago when I was slicing a tomato. I didn't realize it until I felt that itchy-tingly sensation, looked down and saw blood dripping all over the cutting board. I wrapped my thumb in a wet paper towel, bandaged it and strangled it to death! After the bleeding stopped, everything was all good until I touched something. Nerve endings are apparently exposed at a severed fingertip and the pain even makes you're teeth hurt! Sheez! OUCH! Sorry, Mud!


----------



## jkath

Alix said:
			
		

> EWWWW! That is just unhappy! I feel for you jkath.


 
On a more positive note, at least the ant guy is easy on the eyes


----------



## jkath

oh Damp! I couldn't even read through the whole posting....shudder!!!!!!!!!


----------



## ronjohn55

mudbug said:
			
		

> Sliced my finger doing potatoes with my Oxo peeler - right on the very tip, where it's hard to keep a bandaid on. I've got two on now and altho the dripping has stopped, I just _know _it'll turn into a gusher if I take them off.


 
Ouch!!

Been there, done that!! 5 stiches in a pinkie finger! Although the offending instrument was a chef's knife. 

Hope you heal up soon!

Happy New Year!

John


----------



## Barbara L

jkath said:
			
		

> my house keeps being invaded by troops of stupid ants. Yes, I know ants are smart little things, but these beasties bypass the sugar and go straight for the bathrooms and closets!


Different types of ants go for different things. In the town I lived in before this one (but still in SC), they had what everyone called Sugar Ants.  They were the tiniest little ants I have ever seen. In Vista (a couple hours south of you) we were plagued now and then with Argentine Ants.  They are not sugar eaters, but they love anything with fat.  They would go right for the loaf of bread (they got into the closed package) and dog and cat food.  We get them here now and then too, but the ones I really hate are all over our front and back yard--Fire Ants.  In case you are wondering why they are called Fire Ants, it isn't because they are red.  Stand still too long in the wrong spot (they make visible mounds, but when you're talking to someone, you don't always think to look down), and your leg will feel like it is on fire.  I've had it happen to me twice.  Once was at a friend's house.  I had to run into her bathroom, rip my clothes off, and wash the ants off in the tub.  Then, a few months ago (they are active in the hot months), James, a friend of ours, and I had gone out for lunch. When she dropped us off, I stood next to the car chatting with her.  They must have thought I was nuts because all of the sudden I just stopped talking mid-sentence and ran into the house as fast as I could (clothes, tub, etc.).  Ouch!  I did a research paper on ants in college--they are actually very fascinating creatures.  I just don't want them anywhere near me!

 Barbara


----------



## jkath

I think ours are more the "got nothin' to do, so I'll wander around the house" ants.
Actually, ant man says that before our house was sold, it looks like the other owners must've sprayed only the outside of the house, thus trapping the little suckers inside the walls. We get dozens of dead bodies in the bathrooms, because he's sprayed inside. They wander in, get sick and die all over the rugs. It's lovely to see first thing in the morning.


----------



## shannon in KS

ggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!  Neighbors!  The ones behind me, need a lesson on the proper use of a car horn.  They are for emergencies while driving, such as, stop yakking on your cell phone in the middle of the street or I will plow you over (I might go demonstrate the plowing over scenario for them), or, $%$^% hello, do you NOT notice the %&$%&^ backing lights?!?!  However, they are not for summoning your drunken homies out of the house at 3 am so you can go imbibe every drop of alcohol you can between vomitings and getting $^&$-ed up!  My gripe is, I am sleepy, because that happened like 4 times last night, one to the beat of 50 cent Candy Shop.  

Then, I try to take a nap, and the neighbors on the other side, do not seem to know what inside voices are, because you can hear their voices from inside their house, outside, AND inside MY HOUSE!  Yes, I am cranky!


----------



## mudbug

Thanks for all the concern for my stupid little finger (it's the one that you use for "salutes").  No dripping/gushing today, thank goodness.  Just a little sore, and nothing that won't heal soon.

shannon, I'm sorry about your neighbors.  I hope these are the soon-to-be-former neighbors, and that your new house is surrounded by nice ones like ours is.

jkath - welcome back, sistah, and nuke those ants!


----------



## 240brickman

actually, the Tomato-Slicing Incident  reminds me of the time I cut my finger while I was slicing a bagel.

I was a teenager  (this was a year or two or three before the Deli Slicer Affair),  and therefore none too bright.  I was also in a hurry to eat,  so I held the bagel in my left hand, while slicing it with my right.  What I didn't realize until just a LITTLE too late was that the tip of my left hand ring-finger was in the hole of the bagel.  I sliced it  (my finger that is) real good, right across the tip.  I suspected it would need stitches, maybe two or three,  but I was a bit too ashamed to tell my folks what I'd done!  I simply used several  ordinary Band-Aids, to kind of  "butterfly"  things together.

When Mom or Dad asked what I'd done to my finger, I just casually told them I'd nicked it while slicing a bagel        (more-or-less true).

It healed up just fine, but to this day my fingerprint on that finger has a tiny little offset in it.  The little ridges never aligned quite right.

--J


PS...ever since, bagels get sliced ON THE BOARD


----------



## jkath

mudbug said:
			
		

> jkath - welcome back, sistah, and nuke those ants!


 
Glad to be back! I've missed it here so much, and hated to be away.

Shannon, I wouldn't know fifty cent if it bit me in my tushie. You could always bake them some homemade brownies, being the nice lady neighbor. I won't tell them you've added ex-lax to the mix.


----------



## cartwheelmac

Man! We were playing baseball and got a nice skinned knee. In addition to my middle toenail that broke off.

Cameron


----------



## shannon in KS

jkath said:
			
		

> Shannon, I wouldn't know fifty cent if it bit me in my tushie. You could always bake them some homemade brownies, being the nice lady neighbor. I won't tell them you've added ex-lax to the mix.


 
mmwwwuuuhhaaaahhhaaaa!  
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





 Wonderful idea!!!


----------



## shannon in KS

Shannon to innocent angel daughter:  "Pray tell, daughter o' mine, what loving in-law gave you this wondrous noisemaker keyboard for Christmas...  the one with 2,000 acommpaniments and 48 drum beats and 100 other fascinating sounds, that can play all at the same time, and EVEN let you play along with it too? OH, and look it doesn't need those batteries that go bad too soon either, it plugs right into the wall!"  (phone in one hand and car keys/baseball bat in another)


----------



## kadesma

shannon in KS said:
			
		

> Shannon to innocent angel daughter: "Pray tell, daughter o' mine, what loving in-law gave you this wondrous noisemaker keyboard for Christmas... the one with 2,000 acommpaniments and 48 drum beats and 100 other fascinating sounds, that can play all at the same time, and EVEN let you play along with it too? OH, and look it doesn't need those batteries that go bad too soon either, it plugs right into the wall!" (phone in one hand and car keys/baseball bat in another)


your daughter got that one did she?  Cade, got, microphone,piano,giutar, all plug in and play to rhythm and music and they have a volume knob!!! Dear Pa my DH picked up this little goodie on his own. No I just need to make sure of the pay back, wonder if 3 hours of baby sitting while Cade and Ethan jam for him would do the trick? ..Earplugs mommy?

kadesma,


----------



## pdswife

MEN!  ok... not men just my husband. You guys all know I love him more than anything in this world but right now.. I have to tell you how mad I am at him.

We've had tickets to this play for about three weeks.  We've been talking about it and both of us ( I thought) were really excited about it.  He wrote me email this morning all happy because we "have a date tonight"  We talked about how we were going to meet at the theatre at 6:45, play starts at 7:00pm.   I just wrote to remind him to leave work early .. and all of a sudden... he doesn't want to leave work EARLY to see this play.  He say's that he's just had so much on his mind lately that he didn't realize that it started at 7.  Most of our plays do start at 8.. but we've talked about this one being early more than once.  He just hasn't been listening to me lately.   It's really starting to bug me.


VENT
VENT
VENT!  Thanks for listening.  Sorry..


----------



## kadesma

Go ahead, VENT!!!  I know the listening thing well...Mine did the same thing last night, I start to say something and he, interupts with his version ofwhat the rest of the question is..And he was WRONG!!! Or, I'll tell him something and he nods and the next day, looks at me like I have 2 heads when I say, let's go or here is the message, It's like what are you talking about!! Since I tend to blow a gasket, and I don't like doing that, I just walk away and get deathly guiet and stay that way til I get over my mad..Right now, your feelings are hurt and so is your pride and you just want to give him a good swift kick in the britches..If you really want to vent go outside find a small tree and kick the daylights out of it..Then when Mr. Mr.gets home you'll be past the worst of it..Then when you've both cooled off, have a sit down and a long talk about listening and respecting what each of you has to say...We all know how much Paul means to you, and I know, you must be the apple of his eye..Why fight if you don't really have to..We do NOT like to see our Pds, upset and hurting...

hugs girl, it will be okay.

kadesma


----------



## pdswife

goodness... now for some reason that made me cry Kadesma.  I think I may be an emotional mess today!   

He won't be home until 9:30 or 10:00... and I may be home later than that.  After the play there's  a reception and a "talk back" with the actors and the directors.   I hate doing things on my own but... coming home later is prbly a good idea.  It'll give me more time to simmer down.   Thanks Kadesma.  YOU always know the right thing to say.  We'll have a long talk when we both get home.  

smiles, T


----------



## Barbara L

kadesma said:
			
		

> Go ahead, VENT!!! I know the listening thing well...Mine did the same thing last night, I start to say something and he, interupts with his version of what the rest of the question is..And he was WRONG!!! Or, I'll tell him something and he nods and the next day, looks at me like I have 2 heads when I say, let's go or here is the message, It's like what are you talking about!!


Oh my gosh!  Are you married to James too?!!! 


			
				kadesma said:
			
		

> Since I tend to blow a gasket, and I don't like doing that, I just walk away and get deathly quiet and stay that way til I get over my mad.


And is your husband married to me?!!! 

 Barbara


----------



## buckytom

ok, i gotta vent. how the heck can my wife expect me to _remember _everything,_ listen_ to everyting (when there's just so much in both volume and _volume_), _plan_ for everything, protect and provide for everything, make sure the family is well fed, clothed, housed (it's not as easy as it looks), that the future is bright, that everyone is freakin happy at all times, ev-er-ee freakin minute of ev-er-ee day, and never be expected to have any shortcomings, any weaknesses or failures? i ask you... 

(ok, let's keep it clean ladies. pm me to tel me to *@#%^ off)


----------



## jkath

We all need to plan a vacation together, where we can just vent and eat...vent and eat....vent and eat...oh! and drink.  I vote Vegas.


----------



## pdswife

unventing
unventing
unventing...

I have the worlds best hubby!
I was standing in line waiting to get in to the theatre
and some one tapped me on the back.  It was Paulie.
He came because he knew how upset and sad I was.
I was so happy to see him. 

So... please ignore my ramblings of the upper post.

Sorry Paul. I was a  meanie!!


----------



## pdswife

jkath said:
			
		

> We all need to plan a vacation together, where we can just vent and eat...vent and eat....vent and eat...oh! and drink.  I vote Vegas.




Vegas sounds good to me!


----------



## jkath

My rhinestones are packed, and the mink is in the car...let's go sister!


----------



## buckytom

jkath said:
			
		

> My rhinestones are packed, and the mink is in the car...let's go sister!


 
i hope that's not too uncomfortable. and minks can drive??????


----------



## jkath

....laughing so hard I can't come up with a comeback.


----------



## pdswife

See bucky.. that's what you're good at. Making us laugh!!!!!!


----------



## texasgirl

Bucky, you make us all crack up, whether we want to or not, thanks for that!!!


----------



## Brooksy

buckytom said:
			
		

> ....... and minks can drive??????


They sure can Bucky, unfortunately they drive on the left side of the road. 


Briefs cause brainfade in men Pds because they trap too much heat around a bloke's brain. 
Switch him to thunders....


----------



## pdswife

Brooksy said:
			
		

> They sure can Bucky, unfortunately they drive on the left side of the road.
> 
> 
> Briefs cause brainfade in men Pds because they trap too much heat around a bloke's brain.
> Switch him to thunders....








lololololololololololololol~


----------



## Alix

Oh my goodness, I understood that! Does that mean I am an Aussie now?


----------



## texasgirl

venting.....
I guess I'll have to start looking for another job now. I have never been asked to take my vacation. This morning, it was mentioned since we don't have any work coming in. BUMMER!! I will never find another company this flexible plus, I don't know any of the office software that is being used these days. It's hard to find a job right now too and with dh having health problems, it's not a good time. At least I have a few days left on vacation.


----------



## pdswife

Oh no....
I'm here if ya need to vent louder longer or stronger!

What a bad start to the day!!!


----------



## licia

tg, I hope if it comes to getting another job, you find what you are looking for soon.  I'm sure you can learn other software and programs that may make a new job even better than the one you have.  Hope all goes well.


----------



## texasgirl

Thanks. I've been out of the office work for quite a while now. I've been doing sign graphics and applying vinyl to the signs. I can type okay. I like data entry. I was always good with that. I'm not suseptible {Sp} to carpal tunnel, so, that's good.


----------



## pdswife

Is there a community college near you Texas?  
They sometimes have pretty inexpensive computer classes you can
take.

I know you'll find something that you like even better than what you have now.


----------



## texasgirl

No, the closest one is about 50 miles away. That's alright. I'm on the computer enough to type faster than I use to and my niece said she would teach me excel, quikbooks and another one, the name escapes me for now though.


----------



## pdswife

That's nice of her.  It'll be fun for you to learn something new too.


----------



## kadesma

I echo what Pds said about learning something new..Also, new faces and new work places, bring out the best in all of us. It's like a breath of fresh air..And, knowing you, I know, I sure wouldn't pass you by, I'd grab ya up rright now..

kadesma


----------



## texasgirl

Thanks you guys. You are all so great.


----------



## Michelemarie

Crewsk, I used to live in vegas, found a black scorpion in my kitchen, luckily it was dead, but freaked me out. those along with black widows - gross!

Venting, okay, here we go, I am gonna sound like the worst person, but my mother in law was here for the weekend, three weeks after she spent almost two weeks with us at christmas.  She came Friday and we were all under impression she was leaving Sunday at 6 - only to find out Sunday morning she was leaving MOnday at 6 - She is such a nice person, and really tries to be helpful, and I should be thankful my son has a grandma that wants to be a part of his life  .....  but this trip she drove me absolutely 100% ******* NUTS!!!!!  Mind you, my son was born August 2004 and she has visited every month (except 1) since then.  Okay, now having said that, I feel awful, but I can't change a feeling ----- I guess it is time for a drink - I like Crewsk's idea - I need the bottle tonight. Thanks for listening - I promise to be in a better mood tomorrow (actually, after my first drink!)


----------



## Michelemarie

texasgirl, have you contacted local schools or libraries? sometimes they need help with data entry - just a thought.


----------



## Jenny

Don't feel to bad, Michelemarie...there aren't many of us who could be smiling and positively ecstatic about that many extended visits from our MIL's.  Sometimes I hate that my Mum in law is all the way over in UK and can't visit often...but if she were in my home for a week out of every month, I might just be booking her holidays elsewhere for her!

Texasgirl, I am so sorry about 1.  your husband's poor health, and 2. job hunting and the uncertainties that brings.   I will be praying for both situations!


----------



## texasgirl

Michelle, I live in a town that has very little to offer except a lake that is slowly drying up. LOL. I'll find something, I know I will. Thank you for your ideas!!

Jenny, thanks for your thoughtfulness!!


----------



## pdswife

Michelemarie said:
			
		

> Crewsk, I used to live in vegas, found a black scorpion in my kitchen, luckily it was dead, but freaked me out. those along with black widows - gross!
> 
> Venting, okay, here we go, I am gonna sound like the worst person, but my mother in law was here for the weekend, three weeks after she spent almost two weeks with us at christmas.  She came Friday and we were all under impression she was leaving Sunday at 6 - only to find out Sunday morning she was leaving MOnday at 6 - She is such a nice person, and really tries to be helpful, and I should be thankful my son has a grandma that wants to be a part of his life  .....  but this trip she drove me absolutely 100% ******* NUTS!!!!!  Mind you, my son was born August 2004 and she has visited every month (except 1) since then.  Okay, now having said that, I feel awful, but I can't change a feeling ----- I guess it is time for a drink - I like Crewsk's idea - I need the bottle tonight. Thanks for listening - I promise to be in a better mood tomorrow (actually, after my first drink!)



ahhh.. don't feel bad at all.  Having anykind of visitor every month is hard on a person.  I love my MIL she's wonderful but... heck if she was here every month we'd all go crazy. That's just too much company.


----------



## Claire

Lately my greatest aggravation is my computer!  I WILL call mediacom and go on cable and hope it is better.  I have no idea what I've said to who.  But then, this probably won't go out either!


----------



## AllenOK

My Deep-fryer just bit the dust!

I noticed that it had a problem heating up.  I pulled the pot out, put it back in, and could hear it starting up.  I was able to cook one batch of chicken legs, 6 legs, out of a total of 18.  I loaded it up with the second batch and started the timer.  I went back a few minutes later to check it, and it was barely cooking.  GREAT!

Emergency Plan B.  I pulled out my MIL's dutch oven, placed it on a burner, clipped my deep-fat/candy thermometer to it, added the chicken, poured the 160°F oil it, and turned it to high.

Granted, that particular batch of legs didn't really turn out good, but, I might be clearing some storage space out by chucking my deep-fryer and just using the dutch oven from here on.


----------



## licia

My microwave blew out last night. I was making tea and it sounded like an explosion and wouldn't heat anything.  We had to go today and get another so dh could install it. We replaced all our appliances at one time so I hope this isn't the beginning of appliance troubles for us.


----------



## shannon in KS

Had enough wine to barely fill the glass.... too cold to go get some more.


----------



## callie

shannon in KS said:
			
		

> Had enough wine to barely fill the glass.... too cold to go get some more.


 
shannon!!!  That's a crisis!  It's Friday night, girl!  Bundle up - and get out there and get some more wine!


----------



## pdswife

Or better yet... call that new guy of yours and have him bring over a bottle.  : )


----------



## callie

duh!!!  What was i thinking???!!!!  pds - you are SO right!  CALL HIM, shannon!


----------



## -DEADLY SUSHI-

No wine?! Not good! Wine is GOOD for you! Now go out there and make yourself HEALTHY!


----------



## Michelemarie

wine is a must for a friday night - do what it takes girl, you gotta have wine


----------



## shannon in KS

I FOUND BEER!  YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEEE!  Beer's good for me, right?


----------



## -DEADLY SUSHI-

Ummmmmmm.... yes?


----------



## shannon in KS

wooohhoooooooo!  Bad thing is I only had one left....     looks like it's gonna be an early night!


----------



## Michelemarie

Shannon, you need to get to the store first thing tomorrow morning, this can't happen again


----------



## BigDog

shannon in KS said:
			
		

> I FOUND BEER! YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEEE! Beer's good for me, right?


 


			
				-DEADLY SUSHI- said:
			
		

> Ummmmmmm.... yes?


 
You have to ask?!?!?   

Shame on you!


----------



## Maidrite

GREAT NEWS WASABI IS GOING TO BE OK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OK I'M NOT VENTING JUST HAPPY !!!!! REMEMBER To Vote For Elf ! 4th Av. Tuna Tartar !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Vote Now Vote Often (Once A Day, That's All They will let you) !!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## texasgirl

Today is one of those days that I wish I could divorce!!
Sorry, I have to vent a second. 
First, my oldest son has been told VERY frequently, not to spray his Axe body spray in the house. It's a fairly small house and he sprays too much and usually he showers then sprays and it coinsides with us eating dinner, therefore, dinner doesn't taste too good with that on our pallete. Anyway, he sprayed it last night and of course, it spread to us when we were eating and hubby blew up. I understand that he was mad that son disregarded our rule, but, his cussing him out and threatening him was very uncalled for!! He was yelling at him and calling him a punk a#@ mf and told him to get out of his house and so on. When I spoke up, I got cussed also. I tried to explain that I wasn't stepping on his toes, but,was arguing his use of language. I was told to quit babying him and if I couldn't, then to do it somewhere else, not in his house. There was plenty more, but, I won't go into it. I sit up here at work in tears and try to keep anyone from knowing. My heart is breaking and I can't do anything about it.
I love him so much, most of the time, but, his angry flare ups like this, makes me hate him and wish ungodly things to him!!
Our 21st anniversary is tomorrow and I just don't care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Michelemarie

texasgirl, i am so sorry to hear your story but unfortunately i can relate. maybe it is the texas man gene today  - you are not alone girlfriend. i am sorry your heart is breaking, i know your pain. sometimes time heals things and i am hoping that will be the case with you. maybe your hubby had a bad day and took it out on you and your son.  i hope things look up for you today. i wish there was something i could do or say to make you feel better, don't cry, it makes your eyes puffy (i look like a marshmallow this morning).  pm me if you want, i wll be here for you girlfriend.  21 years is a long time, good and bad times both.  you are a beautiful woman, mother and wife - inside and out - don't you ever forget it!


----------



## Alix

texasgirl, I'm so sorry you had a tough day. Sometimes you just want to give them a piece of your mind don't you? Hugs to you. I know you said you don't want to think about your anniversary, but WOW, 21 years is a HUGE accomplishment. Even if he is being a moron right now give him a kiss, you wouldn't have stayed for 21 years if there weren't some redeeming features in there somewhere. 

(PS, take your son's AXE and toss it! Those stupid commercials are to blame for that overspraying!)


----------



## texasgirl

Alix said:
			
		

> texasgirl, I'm so sorry you had a tough day. Sometimes you just want to give them a piece of your mind don't you? Hugs to you. I know you said you don't want to think about your anniversary, but WOW, 21 years is a HUGE accomplishment. Even if he is being a moron right now give him a kiss, you wouldn't have stayed for 21 years if there weren't some redeeming features in there somewhere.
> 
> (PS, take your son's AXE and toss it! Those stupid commercials are to blame for that overspraying!)


 
I would, but, he's 20 years old. He came back home to save some money and get back on his feet.
I gave him a choice on that one this morning, so, that should be okay now, I hope. He just has to leave it in the car and spray it then.


----------



## Alix

GOOD! Why on earth do guys think if a little is good then a LOT is great. PEEEYEW!

Happy Anniversary Texasgirl. You have made a milestone many will never reach. 

PS, my sister says the first 20 years are the toughest, maybe your hubby was just sending them out with a bang.


----------



## urmaniac13

Ooooh, Poor Texas... (((Hugs...)))  Maybe your hubby had a real rotten day at work himself and at times like that one can be in a mood that it takes a slightest push to just jump over the edge... and I am pretty sure after all that your son learned some valuable lessons.  
I hope the clouds lift and you two will have a lovely anniversary!!  Alix is right, your marriage is based on such a solid foundation, don't let anything spoil a special day!!


----------



## kimbaby

Hoping you feel better... hubby is being mean!  I hope it all gets straighten out and you don't cry any more... Feelings are fragile, and some people just don't realize it... but maybe hubby should take anger mangement or something...I can understand getting upset because your son was defient but all that yelling and cursing,is gonna give your hubby a cornary, really! 
best wishes Texasgirl


----------



## texasgirl

Thanks ya'll. Thanks for your shoulders!


----------



## licia

TG, I'm so sorry you had such a time. I don't understand why it seems so easy for some to fly off the handle sometime and make everyone miserable. I hope things are straightened out today and you are feeling much better. We all have problems at times and eventually get over them - so we can have more.  Take care of yourself today and do something nice just for YOU!


----------



## corazon

My husband just invited practically the entire neighborhood over for dinner tonight!!!We are just two people, I shop for two people.  Now I have to feed at least 10 people.  What am I supossed to make?  It's 12:30, dinner is at 6pm, I live 45 minutes from the nearest grocery store, 2 kids, I haven't showered, the house is a disaster zone!  And the one thing I suggested to him, a ham from Costco that would be so easy to make and would feed a lot of people, he doesnt want!!!  He wants "baked pasta and a huge salad."  Do you realize how much work that is?!    
Now that I've vented and taken some deep breaths, I'm off...
so much for my italian alps feast tonight too!  that will have to wait until tomorrow.


----------



## pdswife

You deserve to VENT!!! 

So vent away!

I'm sure you'll pull everything off perfectly though!!

MAKE HIM HELP!!!


----------



## kadesma

Vent away Cora, I'd be so irate, I'd be yelling for a week...Nice of DH to be so gracious to the neighbors, now he needs to step up and help you...Try to relax, your Italian Alps dinner will hold..Wish I was close enough to help you, even just going to the sotre for you...Hope all works out.

kadesma


----------



## corazon

Thanks pds and kadesma.  Lucky for me, dinner was postponed until next weekend.  I was rushing around and almost rushing out the door too, when dh realized it was probably too much work to pull it off today.  And dh help, it would be a world of help if he just took the kids without me having to ask but that never happens.  
He gets to wiggle his way out of any help today anyway.  The reason dh invited all the people over is because dh rented an excavator to dig up tree stumps on our property and we have all these nice people helping do it.  So, dh is outside "working," really just standing around talking while the 15 year old does all the work.
I guess I'm still a little bitter about the whole thing.  My 1 1/2 hours of kid free time for a class was canceled for the second week in a row.  Last week the teacher was sick and I don't know why it was canceled today.  All I know is dh has only been home 2 whole days this week and I'm starting to go a little stir crazy.


----------



## texasgirl

He better be darned glad that he postponed!!! 
Some guys can be such inconsiderate jerks sometimes!!
At least you have forwarning now. You can calm down and take your time.


----------



## licia

I think if it were me, I'd say "lucky for him it was postponed". Dh used to invite people without asking me first, but he got the message when I started saying every time that it wasn't a good time.  He started asking me before he asked them after that. The only thing, now he never asks anyone. I mention having someone over, he just says ok, or says nothing, then he acts like the "belle of the ball" and has more fun than anyone.


----------



## Alix

OK, me again. Don't you just hate it when kids make you follow through on a threat? My youngest was just invited to go to the community pool and swim with a friend. I said sure, but you CALL ME the minute you get to your friends house so I know you are safe. If you DON'T call me you will be coming right home. 

Sigh. You can guess what happened. 

I should mention that this particular friends Mom doesn't have a cell phone so I actually had to GO TO THE POOL and get her. I have totally humiliated her in front of her best friend and that whole crew of people, and I feel badly for her but honestly, what else could I have done? If I backed down she would think she could walk all over me forever AND I would look like a liar for not doing what I said I would do. 

CRAP! I feel so mean.


----------



## RMS

Sometimes we have to appear mean to show them we really do love them and care about where they are and what they are doing.
You did the right thing.  (I'm sure your daughter won't agree with me, but she will later on in life when she is raising her own children)


----------



## Alix

Thanks RMS. I know that in my head (or I would have wimped out like I wanted to) but my heart is breaking for my little sweetie.


----------



## texasgirl

She will live!! Tomorrow, when she sees her friends again. They will all get on the subject of how their parents embarrased them. Believe me, she will feel better and probably tell you about some of the other stories before long.


----------



## Alix

I know she will. Her friends will have big eyes and tell her how MEAN her mom is. And somewhere inside her she will secretly be pleased that I care enough to do what I did. 

OK, so hurry up tomorrow and get here. Cuz right now I feel like the Grinch.

Texasgirl and Debbie, you both brought tears to my eyes. I am not even going there in my head with my babies. They are flat out NOT allowed to grow up dang it!


----------



## pdswife

You did good Alix!

I know it hurt both of you today.. but in the long run... it was the right thing.


----------



## mudbug

Don't worry, Alix.  My daughter assures me that I am the Meanest Mom in the universe.  Funny how the moms of some of her friends have been called the same thing.  

It's those "cool" moms that are making it hard for the rest of us.


----------



## corazon

You did good Alix. It's heartbreaking to punish your kids. You have to follow through with your punishments. Even if she just forgot, next time she will remember because she knows the consequences if she doesn't. Not only that, but it will save you a lot of worry and give you a red flag of warning when she doesn't call.

A couple weeks ago, I had to go to the library with both the kids. Callum was being carried in his car seat and Aidan holding my hand. I just had to run in and pick up my book that was on hold behind the counter. A one minute errand. They have an elevator and I told Aidan if he held my hand the whole time and didn't run off, then we could ride it before we left. We were halfway to the counter when he let go of my hand and took off running. I took him outside and talked. I gave him another try, telling him if he didn't hold my hand this time we wouldn't go to the park that day. We didn't even get through the door before he let go. That was that, no park and it broke my heart. All day he was asking when we were going to the park and all day I had to keep telling him why we weren't going. I felt so bad and so mean! The next time we went to the library, I reminded him of what had happened the last time, he held my hand the whole time. We went to the park that day and had some fun.

You did what you had to do Alix. When she has her own kids, she will understand and thank you for it. She will be so happy to have a mom that cares for her and loves her so much. Tried to karma you for being a great mom but I need to spread


----------



## kadesma

I had to do that once Alix,
but, in the end, her friends knew that they were safe here and I'd not let them do anything that would get them hurt...You child might now love you for this, but in later years, whe will hold you dear for it. Head high mom, you did the right thing..to me YOU are a great mom

kadesma


----------



## Alix

This is what makes this site such a great place. I came to you with a heavy heart and you all made me feel so much better. Thank you for your support, I'm so grateful. Its one thing to know what is right, but much better to be supported by other folks who know you you feel. Thanks so much, all of you other "mean Moms".

BIG HUGS TO ALL THE PARENTS OUT THERE!


----------



## buckytom

i really need to have a talk with all of your kids. what happened to them?

in my time, we were so good at snowing our parents, and when you got caught, especially red handed, denial wasn't just a river in egypt. 
bugs, we need to work on faking stomach aches, ASAP! and don't forget migraines for food you despise.
and are you good at art and crafts? make a big sad "i'm sorry" card, really ham it up on the delivery, and whatever punishment mom gave you will be pardoned.

sheesh, ya really need to teach kids everything these days. too much "win,win, win" at sports and not enough tv...


----------



## texasgirl

Bucky, you stop that or as soon as your boy is old enough, I'm gonna find him and teach how to pull the wool over old dad!! You are bad bad bad!! )


----------



## licia

TG, aren't we glad BT doesn't teach school!


----------



## AllenOK

Anybody remember _Ferris Bueller's Day Off_?



			
				Ferris Bueller said:
			
		

> Fake some stomach cramps.  When you're bent over, moaning and wailing, lick your palms.


----------



## texasgirl

licia, I'm very glad!! Although, he would probably be one of the best kindergarten teachers. The kids, and the moms would love him!!

Allen that movie was all funny!!


----------



## Alix

OMgosh Buckytom you made me laugh soooo hard. (Incidentally it wasn't Bugs, it was my OTHER daughter who really needs NO HELP in the big sad Bambi eyes department when she wants to get away with something.) 

I should mention that the reason I had a tough time with that particular incident is that I can totally see myself in this kid. I know how I would have felt in her shoes and it wasn't fun.

Update: My husband is the most supportive guy in the world, when he read about my issue with our sweetie, he called to make sure I was OK and he just in general supported me 100%. What more could I ask? Thanks again all for the virtual hugs. 

Who's next on here? Hey Big Dog, didn't you say you needed to vent?


----------



## buckytom

ok, now i need to have a talk with ken too. my work is never done...


----------



## Alix

Shutupshutupshutup! You mess with him and I will hitch to Joisey to tune you in!


----------



## buckytom

i hereby anounce the beginning of the program to karmatize ken. 

all hail ken!!!! king of the frozen northlands, duke of edmonton, man of his house!!


----------



## VickiQ

Buckytom- my sides hurt from Laughing and my dog is looking at me like I'm crazy!!!Thanks for the laugh!!!!!I could sure use it- I after all have 2 kids in college one a senior (male) and the other a freshman (female- that's the one that causes the grays!!!


----------



## buckytom

grrrr, i got up extra early to take the bus in to work so i could got out for a few hundred pints after work today, but dw is being a royal b*tch and is making a big deal about going out to buy our son a bed because he climbs in and out of his crib at will as of late. so, no pub for me tonight. i even said very nicely to her "do you mind if i go out on friday", and she agreed.
and now to top it off, since we're going shopping, no corned beef tonight either since it takes a while to cook. what the f$%^!!!!
i need a new wife, this one went bad and is past warranty.


----------



## VickiQ

Hmmm My husband told me my warranty was up on our 10th anniversary but, decided to renew it for an extra couple of years- I'm sure he's had his regrets quite a few times with that decision!!!!


----------



## wasabi

Not only is my DH's warranty up..........I can't find spare parts.


----------



## texasgirl

Supposedly, we signed Terrell Owens!! This is one fan that just turned her back on the Cowboys!! I can not believe that Jerry Jones would sign a guy that thought it would be funny to dance on our star in our own stadium!! 
George Teague should have done more than level the jerk in that game!!
Dallas has enough problems without bringing this @@$% into our town!!!!
AARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!! He is pure trouble!!!


----------



## -DEADLY SUSHI-

I think I missed something.


----------



## texasgirl

buckytom said:
			
		

> grrrr, i got up extra early to take the bus in to work so i could got out for a few hundred pints after work today, but dw is being a royal b*tch and is making a big deal about going out to buy our son a bed because he climbs in and out of his crib at will as of late. so, no pub for me tonight. i even said very nicely to her "do you mind if i go out on friday", and she agreed.
> and now to top it off, since we're going shopping, no corned beef tonight either since it takes a while to cook. what the f$%^!!!!
> i need a new wife, this one went bad and is past warranty.


 
yep, we can be real b#thes sometimes bucky!! Sorry, but, you guys can be too 
Hope she backs off though. You have been a good boy and deserve to go out.


----------



## callie

texasgirl said:
			
		

> Supposedly, we signed Terrell Owens!! This is one fan that just turned her back on the Cowboys!! I can not believe that Jerry Jones would sign a guy that thought it would be funny to dance on our star in our own stadium!!
> George Teague should have done more than level the jerk in that game!!
> Dallas has enough problems without bringing this @@$% into our town!!!!
> AARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!! He is pure trouble!!!


 
Wow!  I'm sorry for you tex  - but soooooo happy for me  I thought Denver was going to sign him!


----------



## kadesma

Texas,
I feel just as you do. There is no place in my life for this foolishness. The guy is an A#1 jerk..He is a star trouble maker..My dad had a name for guys like him, but I can't say it here  As much as I love sports, this I can do without.

kadesma


----------



## mudbug

*Is it because they are teenagers?*

My kid has gone brain dead.  She just got her interim report card, and is getting Ds and Fs - primarily because she has not turned in her homework.  Yeah, that simple task seems to be beyond her ability.

We had a nice screaming-at-her session Friday, with the usual predictions of life behind the counter at McDonald's, being the only 8th grader with a driver's license, and a future with no money to have any fun in life, or even purchase basic necessities.  

Nothing seems to penetrate her skull.  

So what do we do, besides tying her to a chair every day when she gets home from school?


----------



## Michelemarie

Mudbug, I wish I knew what to tell you.  If you ever find out - please tell me. My daughter is in 7th grade - and is getting good grades - however, I feel it is because of US.  Pushing her to do homework, etc.  Why can't they just do it?  I don't remember my folks sitting with me through homework - I came home, I did it - usually no questions asked, and got fine grades. I feel for you - it sounds like you are doing all the right things! Hang in there sweetie!


----------



## Alix

mudbug, what does she truly value extracurricular wise? I think that would be my next move. "Since you clearly can't prioritize for yourself, we are going to help you by removing you from (------) until your grades improve." I don't know if you want to tell her that is what she will lose first or just yank her.

Unfortunately, YOU are going to be punished just as much as she will when you have to stand over her to make sure her work is done. 

I'm here if you want to gab. We're behind you mudbug, you will do the right thing no matter what you do. You're a good and caring mom. {{{{{{{{{{mudbug}}}}}}}}}


----------



## mudbug

thank you, Michelle Marie and Alix.  It's especially difficult for me to figure out what to do because I was like MM - didn't have parents hovering over me about homework.  I just did it.

We are taking away the cell phone, the Ipod, and private telephone conversations in general.  All calls will be made/answered on the kitchen phone within earshot of good ole mom and dad.

All homework will now be done at the kitchen table (groan, Alix - I know you are right about the checking).

No more TV breaks between school and homework - it gets done right when she gets home. 

I am undecided about ruling out TV altogether.  If I shut it off permanently for an indefinite period, she will view reading books as a punishment instead of an enjoyable pastime.  Can't imagine the guilt of rearing a kid to think of books as the devil incarnate.  But I can't make her love reading either.

Arrrggghhhh...this is so hard.


----------



## GB

Mudbug if you ever feel like talking then I am here for you. I can talk to you from  your daughters point of view as that was me as a kid. 

On thing I do know, when I was forced to do homework at the kitchen table then it got done as long as I didn't lie and say I didn't have any homework.

Good luck Mud! I know what you are going through is not easy.


----------



## Jenny

Oh Mudbug, I feel like you are living my life...I have a seventh grader whose progress report revealed 4 failing grades and two passing ones.  We just got end of quarter grades, she managed to bring all but one grade up to passing.  I have requested a conference w/ all her teachers, me and Dave, and Sami.  Her teachers said at progress report time that she was drawing in class, reading Anime books and basically not paying attention to them or turning in her work.  As her discipline, we took away her computer, phone priviledges and extra curricular activities.  The only thing she was allowed to do was read, church, and hang w/ dear old mum and dad!  We were happy she ended up failing only one class.  

The upsetting thing is that I know she is capable of doing so much better.  She is incredibly gifted at drawing and designing, especially for a 12 year old-we keep telling her how bright her future will be.  

I did feel a little encouraged by her SS teacher.  He said that most often kids didn't start getting it until the 8th grade.  He said something just clicks for them...so maybe hope is coming!  Hang in there!  and know you aren't going through this alone!  I know it just has to get better!!!


----------



## Michelemarie

Jenny and Mudbug - listening to you talk is like hearing my own voice in my head.  My daughter is a bit "social" - she is the center of the 7th grade - and it drives me nuts (I hope my son grows up to be a nerd in middle school). 

Last quarter her midterms showed acceptable grades IF I knew she was trying, but she wasn't and they were simply unacceptable. She wants to socialize more than anything. 

What we did - during that time - was no computer during the week at all.  No phone until all homework was done - and here is the catch - done to the highest of her ability - no slop!  We curtailed social activities down too. We also said homework at the kitchen table only, too.  We did see an improvement - her report card was very good.  But why all the effort on our part?

We try to tell her she is a student first, then ms. social director.  I keep telling her being a good parent is hard - being a lousy parent (and there are plenty out there) is easy. I cannot believe what some of these parents allow!

I don't know what you have been called, but I am the meanest mom on around - and am glad for it.  Good luck to both of you - it sounds like you are great (mean) moms! Be proud of yourself!


----------



## texasgirl

Boys are so much easier as far as discipline. Mine didn't care about school and it would have been easier to pull all their teeth than get them to do homework. They weren't like a girl throwing the tantrums, they just went to their rooms with the puppy dog faces. LOL

I'm like GB, I was the one that was failing all the time. I started out by skipping school and stopped doing homework. I failed 6th grade and had to go to summer school. It was a rebellion thing. Parent's divorcing, etc.
Well, in high school, mom decided that all the stuff she took away or grounded me, wasn't working, so, she went the other way. If I passed all my classes each 6 weeks, I got to pick a restaurant to go too for dinner that next weekend. Didn't matter how much or if she liked the food either. That, for some reason, did it for me. I wasn't a A or B student after 5 th grade, so, she just wanted me to pass with at least a 70. My grades did come up, I was making between 75 and 80's. It was more of a goal instead of worrying about punishment. Don't know that it would work with anyone else, but, it did for me and when we told the boys that they could get a new Playstation game when they passed, it worked for them too.


----------



## mudbug

Michelle and Jenny - the most frustrating part is that this child of mine is not learning-disabled.  On the state tests she routinely gets marks in the "advanced" category.  So she can do the work - she just doesn't feel like it.  (MM- she does have tons of friends too- who all tell her how cool she is)

MM- I have been called everything in the book (not easy to swallow when you've waited as long as I did to have a kid), but you are right, and I'm grittting my teeth to get thru this.


----------



## Michelemarie

I'm sorry Mudbug. Maybe we should cut their hair and blacken their teeth and make them wear ugly clothes.  I know your frustration with knowing she can do it if she applied herself.  Take it day by day, you are a good mom! The light at the end of the tunnel: One day she will thank you - can't say when "one day" is - but hopefully it will be sooner than later! Hugs to you my friend, and know that you are not alone.


----------



## corazon

For me, in highschool, I didn't have a problem doing the homework.  I just never went to class.

Our neighbor's son is having the same problem.  She has him bring home weekly progress reports from his teachers every Friday.  Maybe your daughter could do the same with the homework written out and the teacher could say what she did and didn't hand in for that week, as well as any big projects coming up.  If anything, it will probably embarass her enough, she might actually keep doing her homework so that she doesn't have to bring home reports anymore.


----------



## mudbug

Thank you all, ladies (and geebs), for making this mom's burden a little easier today.  I so truly appreciate it.


----------



## Alix

Thats what Moms do for each other. Heres to you Moms *holding wine glass aloft...CLINK*


----------



## mudbug

Amen, Alix.  Here's to all of us mean moms.  We must not be an endangered species after all...............


----------



## mish

This is why I like the show Wife Swap. The hubby and kids are so happy to see you after two weeks, they'll do anything. 

All together now (sing):

I couldn't live without your love
Now I know you're really mine...


----------



## Dina

Mudbug,
You're not alone. My 11 year old son is so intelligent but just doesn't want to do the school work. His teachers see his potential and have told me this year after year but he just won't focus on the work and apply himself. I keep pushing him and know that I'm never going to let it slide. Even when he's in middle school and high school, he's going to see mom and dad making unexpected visits to school. I believe that if you keep on top of things, know what they're up to and never let your guard down on them, they will eventually snap out of whatever it is they're going through and succeed. Hang in there and have faith.


----------



## Constance

Alix said:
			
		

> OK, inspired by Brooksy's bad day yesterday I thought I would post this thread for folks to vent those petty things that make us nuts.
> 
> Mine is sewing related. My thread keeps breaking, my bobbin ran out and when I tried to refill it the stupid thing went flying somewhere across the room and the thread wound around the post instead. ARGH!  So, I am here for a few minutes to regain my composure and stop swearing at the machine.




Oh, Alix...I am all to familiar with your dilemma. I have been a seamstress for all my life, until the last few years. When my babies were young, I took in sewing to add to our income. I had an excellent machine, but I used it so much, I had to oil and clean it once a week. My dad replaced 2 motors and 3 foot-pedals. It finally spit out the bits when the shaft bent. 
I have a new machine now, but every time I get ready to use it, I have the same problems you do.  
You are right to get away from it for a few minutes. When you feel ready to go back, things will fall together for you.


----------



## kadesma

mudbug said:
			
		

> Amen, Alix. Here's to all of us mean moms. We must not be an endangered species after all...............


Mudbug, you're not alone,believe me. With my four it was like a merry go round. my baby a daughter, was stubborn, independent,loved to party but school, why bother??? If she could, it would be skip school go to mall..or a friends house and watch TV..So, I made it my business to be on her all the time..You've heard I had a little shadow who went in and out with me?  Well my kid had two little shadows, hers and mine I joined the sports booster club, got to know the teachers and principle at the high school, and let me tell you I made sure to keep my ears open when a chat on the phone suddenly was whispered not normal talking tone. Every time she turned around she bumped her cute little nose into good ol mom..Sure I was mean, it wasn't my job to keep her from having fun, how come I didn't work like other moms, why didn't I get a hobby,buy a puppy,drop dead..Sure it hurt like the kickens..But, everytime she said that, I replied that I had my job, her, her sister, her 2 brothers and that was how it was gonna be. Like it or not that was it. I did this dance with here through high school and after one year of college, she was gonna live on her own..At least once a month she was moving out..After several months, surprise I told her go ahead, well then could I help? Could she borrow money, NOPE, get a job,if you intend to be on your own you do it by being responsible. She finally figured out that to do all these things, why she'd have to listen to good ol mom!!!! Now, my maker of white hair is a mother of Ethan and Olivia, teaches 1 grade, has her own home and guess what??  Gee, mom, I'm so glad you loved me enough to CARE...Now there isn't a time she leaves this house to go to her own home that her dad and I both get big hugs and warm kisses. And a thanks mom. Be that mean ol mom Mud, she will look up one day and see you with different eyes..I promise..
hugs friend..I'm here is you need me.

kadesma


----------



## buckytom

'bug, tell her boys don't respect dumb chicks.

but smart ones get to choose their boys...


----------



## Alix

buckytom said:
			
		

> 'bug, tell her boys don't respect dumb chicks.
> 
> but smart ones get to choose their boys...


 
Way to bring it right back to her level bucky. Danged if that aint the truth too! LOL.

Kadesma, it does my heart good to hear about the success stories of mean moms. I have warned my kids that should they stray from the straight and narrow, I am quite willing to attend classes with them, follow them into the bathroom, whatever it takes to keep them safe. Hopefully I won't have to do that though. 

Mud, keep us posted on how your struggle is going. We're with you all the way girl!

Constance, I was just looking at my sewing machine yesterday thinking I had to get back at it and make some more shorts...but that foot of snow outside has me thinking...LATER! LOL!


----------



## VickiQ

(((MUDBUG)))) How these girls keeps us from losing our minds all together is a wonder!!!  Kiersten refused to work up to her potential in jr high and high school- I never asked for more than that but, I would argue with her constantly for just that and granted it DID NOT come easy to her-she had to work really hard just for average.Anyway now that she's a freshman in college- she is doing much better academically and SHE"S even saying she wishes she tried harder in  hs. She learned her own lesson. It's tough watching them thinking they no everything and we know nothing and it's even harder winning "The worst Mother in the World award" every week.Just hang in there and know YOU are not alone!!!
Love and energy, Vicki


----------



## pdswife

David hated school from the first day of kindergarten.  Really hated it.   We had home work fights every night.   Big bad yelling matches.  It got to the point where I'd sit him on my lap and we'd both hold the pencil and some how we'd get part of the home work done.  We'd never have time to do it all and his grade really suffered.  Finally I said FINE.. I give up.  Do what you want.  
You want to fail... fail... you want to do good... do good.   

That was in 8th grade.   
The fights ended, the stress went down, he was happier, I was happier and though his grades were never GREAT he didn't fail and when he graduated from highschool he only had 2 missing papers!
Go figure.


----------



## Claire

Telling a teen or even preteen girl that "boys won't respect them" is ridiculous.  At that age, if they're the kind of girl who wants to be "popular" then "respect" doesn't come into the picture until it is too late.  Vigilance is the only thing that works, and that's difficult (you can't be with them 24/7).  Three of my friends' kids and one neice all wound up getting GEDs after dropping out, and they're all just making it in life by the skin of their teeth and with a lot of help from their parents and grandparents.  I don't know what the answer is any more.  

Thank God I was born in a different era, was way too tall, and needed to wear really thick glasses to avoid bumping into doorways.  It kept me from aspiring to be popular, and put me firmly in the library -- and the kitchen!


----------



## buckytom

claire, of course just saying boys won't respect you is ridiculous.

the second half of my statement to 'bug dealt with the popularity issue.

you can't talk down or oversimplify things with kids, ya gotta talk to them, as if they were almost as smart as you. not that they are, but they are capable of physically doing a lot of adult things. 
and kids think a mile a minute, especially when plotting against your wishes, so yo have to cover your bases.


----------



## Brooksy

Ms. Muddy, your problem is International - trust me.

All our kids hated school, jigged class, the whole bit. The louder we yelled the worse it got. With the boys, to at least get them to stay at school entailed a one on one, face to face, quiet but firm discussion on their futures and how academia set the pathway to set goals (certainly NOT in so few words).

Our daughter though was a different matter. After hours of rebutting her smart*rsed responses and keeping my cool, I almost gave up. Remembering that I was a 'feral' who refused to do homework and the things that were going on in my mind back in the 'olden days', I took to the high ground and wxplained to her that at this stage of her life everything was changing at a great rate of knots, the hormone levels in her body were fluctuating and racing around at 100 miles per hour causing mood swings and emotion swings that give her an unfair and restricted outlook on life. It was up to her to overcome these restrictions and control her emotions & thoughts and to listen to the more experienced people around her who were trying to guide and assist her in attaining the best possible outcomes in life.

After I'd finished my speech the only response she could offer was, "I got Rights as well!!" Unfortunately I pretty well lost it at that stage and responded, "Madam you don't have any Rights until you realise your responsibilities, and respect those around you who are trying to help you!! Three R's Madam, showing respect and realising responsibilities you will gain the respect of your peers, responsibility and therefore your Rights will be acknowledged. Until that happens Madam, you have NO Rights whatsoever!!." 

Seemed to work at that stage, her work ethic improved and her attitude towards the teachers changed for the better.

Mums & daughters will always be at loggerheads, I was forever stepping between DW & daughter's screaming matches.

It's her turn now, she has a bouncing baby daughter (Skye) who at just over 12 months is showing the same headstrong attitude her Mum did. 

I hope I live long enough to step between those two as well.

We all want the best for our children, it is a shame they they don't know it or acknowledge it.


----------



## Michelemarie

I'm not saying girls are worse than boys, because my boys is just a toddler now - but girls have horrible hormones and moods.  I am a member of the mean mom club. I have been told that I am invading her privacy - which I retored, "You have no privacy, you are 13 years old!"

My problem goes just a tad deeper, my daughter's dad is moving back to the town I live (in another state now).  So all I have been hearing now is, "I want to live with dad", "I want to talk to a judge" and blah blah blah.

I am confident this is not going to happen (x has told me there will be no custosdy battle and we will work out a parenting plan together) - however, the words are still hurtful.

Raising a 13-year-old is hard when she is living in two households - one where there are rules and routines, church, chores and no room from poppycock-my house --  and one where she is treated as a little adult - no chores, no routines, given $ for most anything he wants, all the privacy in the world (which includes free reign to watch all the crap on tv, listen to all the vulgar music, computer my space, emails, etc.)

I think we should start a new thread for all us mean moms, I'm thinking I am gonna need alot of support after he moves here  - which is in two weeks.  .


----------



## kadesma

Well I must say, this has been a quite and peafeful day until about 2 hrs ago..I was looking at the computer, I hear yelling and laughing and it's coming from the side of my home where the pasture starts..I go out the front door and in the pasture are 3 boys about 16 or so, waving and yelling and laughing at the brahma bull and several heifers in the pasture..Good old ORNERY Bubba is pawing the ground and snorting and making low noises..I yell at the kids to get out of their and I get a nasty reply and a salute..So, I came in and called the Sheriffs department, all the time praying the bull behaves and the kids get out. I hung up the phone and then I hear, thud thud thud against the security door..Seem they had a bunch of eggs and rotton veggies and were pelting the door with them..Mad, steam coming out my ears,you bet..This seemed to go on forever. Then here comes the sheriff..He nabbed two one took off..after putting them into the car, he came and said to just leave the mess, he knew several boys who were going to do some house repair tomorrow  This I've got to see..Would I like to smack these kids? You bet, If they were mine they would not only clean, they would have at least5 hours or more time to give to anyone they did this too..Plus, their fancy large hummer would not be theirs anymore..Can you just imagine if one of them had been hurt out there. That bull is huge and even my DH makes sure he is locked into another pasture when he has to irrigate..Wonder if this mess will be cleaned by the kids or if mommy and daddy will get someone to clean up for them??  Right now I'm still very angry at such nonsense, but also, kind of shaking thinking about what would have happened had I not locked the doors and turned on the alarm...

kadesma


----------



## pdswife

You should be mad!  Really Really mad.


----------



## Claire

A lot of people tell me girls are harder than boys (I have no children, but come from a large family).  I'm curious as to what you all say.  I think the only reason girls are harder is because they actually get pregnant.  Looking at sibs and friends, I think they simply let boys get away with more.  Among my friends, I also find that their girls are still, in this day and age, encouraged to be pretty and popular, not smart (this isn't a reflection on what anyone has written in, just an observation of my acquaintances.  I swear they'd rather their daughter was a cheerleader than if she wins the science or foreign language fair).  At the ripe old age of 50, I'm discouraged at how girls are being raised these days.  Might as well be 1950.


----------



## licia

We had one of each and I don't know that one was harder or easier than the other. During teenage years, they both had minds of their own and took a little curbing to make them understand that they were not royalty. They were both good kids and didn't give us trouble, never got into trouble themselves, but had we not had the talks as soon as we saw changes arise, it could have been different. I certainly don't think many kids are being raised right now. Many parents seem afraid to speak up about how their kids act, how they dress, almost like the kids take over and the parents just pay the bills. It makes me wonder what kind of life those kids will have when they are grown up.


----------



## mudbug

buckytom - I tried that on her about her guitar.  Boys would come flocking to a chick who had some chops.  She quit lessons anyway.

Brooksy, you're right.  The old heifer and the young heifer are bound to butt heads.  Same for the bulls.  It's in the DNA, and we just have to live thru it.

kadesma, what those moron kids did at your place reinforces my opinion that most children would be vastly improved by being buried at 13 and dug up at 25.

Claire, the double standard still exists, unfortunately.  Guess we haven't come a long way baby just yet.  IMO (and don't want to sart any wars), "progressive" feminism has resulted in turning out a generation of girls who are just as coarse and mindless as their brothers in many instances.


----------



## texasgirl

kadesma, did the little jerks come clean the mess up?? I bet when their parent's found out, they wished the bull had got them. At least, that's what my boys would be thinking!!!


----------



## kadesma

No, DH called and told them to keep those little monsters at home..If they came round here again we would get an attorney..So far all is quiet..
Had my boys pulled that kind of mischief, they would think the army was heaven!

kadesma


----------



## Michelemarie

Kadesma, I can see where DH is coming from, but I also don't want to think of you out there cleaning that mess! I am sorry that happened to you. Maybe you should have went out there and, oh I don't know, accidentally kicked open the gate. For sure those boys would not be around again! They would have got what they deserved where the sun doesn't shine (although these days, I think the sun shines everywhere).


----------



## Constance

Kadesma, I think I'd have have gone Granny Clampet and had my shotgun out there (after I called 911). A couple of blasts in the air would have gotten those hooligans' attention.
If the bull went silly and busted out, all the better.

I do not like being afraid in my own home. I have been there, done that...had to have police protection...and it really sucks.


----------



## kadesma

Michelemarie said:
			
		

> Kadesma, I can see where DH is coming from, but I also don't want to think of you out there cleaning that mess! I am sorry that happened to you. Maybe you should have went out there and, oh I don't know, accidentally kicked open the gate. For sure those boys would not be around again! They would have got what they deserved where the sun doesn't shine (although these days, I think the sun shines everywhere).


We did'nt do the cleaning, DH had someone come due..Our neighbor a retired undercover police detective, said to wait and send a bill to the parents..That is what we will do.. We have home owners insurance,but the thought of being sued over a thing like this,really makes me nuts. If people can sue over a kid geting hurt on a canal bank that is clearly post no tresspassing and win..Imagine what would happen to us!!!   Thanks for thinking of us. Too,bad there are'nt more parents like you.

kadesma


----------



## kadesma

Constance said:
			
		

> Kadesma, I think I'd have have gone Granny Clampet and had my shotgun out there (after I called 911). A couple of blasts in the air would have gotten those hooligans' attention.
> If the bull went silly and busted out, all the better.
> 
> I do not like being afraid in my own home. I have been there, done that...had to have police protection...and it really sucks.


Neither do I Connie, but had I used DH's shotgun, I'd have been on my fanny for sure. That thing kicks like a mule And the thought of trying to round up ol Bubba alone, uh I don't think so. Had to do that one time with another one who decided to chase me up into the horse trailer..Good thing I was younger I hate being afraid and so far it's been ok except for the time we were notified by the police to lock all doors and not come home the same way everynight and to keep a close eye on the kids. Seems a druggie who robbed us and was caught had his family looking for DH..We spent 6 months looking over our shoulders and that was no fun..It was terrifying.We do have a shotgun and a pistol, which is usless in my mind..but having the kids here we keep the gun up in the garage and the ammo is hidden in the attic..Kind of silly, but, I can' take a chance one of the kids might find anything.. We, have had a quiet day and that is fine for me  
Thanks for your concern, I'm going to be very wary from now on..

kadesma


----------



## corazon

Oh, these kids are driving me crazy tonight!!!  Feel like I need to go outside and scream, then disappear for the night.  Aidan has spent the last 2 hours whining and eating dinner!  He keeps telling me he wants to eat it but isn't getting any of it in his mouth.  He has 10 minutes before I give it to the dog.  Callum is doing the nonstop crying thing.  dh just left to go to a martial arts class.  Early bedtime for Aidan, I think.  Wish me luck. 

I'm sorry about those boys, kadesma.  These punk  kids just don't have any respect for anyone!  You're so wonderful, and you certainly didn't deserve this.


----------



## Michelemarie

Corazon90 - girlfriend - put them kids to bed early and have a glass of wine.  I feel for you, I've had those nights too.  Take some time for yourself tonight.  Tomorrow is a new day!


----------



## Dina

Sigh! I need to vent too. My little one has been sick for a couple of days with ear infections. Dr. put him on antibiotics but he threw up on the first dose and refuses to take the second one. I'm hoping the vomitting was because of the flavor of the meds and not rotavirus. On top of it, he woke up this morning with a pink eye to later develop pink eye on his other eye. It's my first week at work and I'm about to lose it completely! ARGH! I have not cooked dinner at all this week cause I'm overwhelmed with work. As it is, I'm posting from my classroom since I've been posting grades tonight. I must go now. I still feel frustrated and tired. I hope this passes quickly.


----------



## kadesma

corazon90 said:
			
		

> Oh, these kids are driving me crazy tonight!!! Feel like I need to go outside and scream, then disappear for the night. Aidan has spent the last 2 hours whining and eating dinner! He keeps telling me he wants to eat it but isn't getting any of it in his mouth. He has 10 minutes before I give it to the dog. Callum is doing the nonstop crying thing. dh just left to go to a martial arts class. Early bedtime for Aidan, I think. Wish me luck.
> 
> I'm sorry about those boys, kadesma. These punk  kids just don't have any respect for anyone! You're so wonderful, and you certainly didn't deserve this.


Thank you Cora, waht a nice thing to say..Wish I could come help with the boys. I know how hard it is when they get whiny and play with food. Poor Carson was like that today, he is getting more teeth and is drooling like crazy and has a runny nose. He is a good eater, but one of those babies who like variety..He wants to swith off between veggies, then meat, then bred. He is so wise that he knows if you fork something a second time in a row and will NOT let you give it to him..Cade has a cold and barked all day, Olivia, was just plain a pain in the fanny wanting to be held or else she would cry, Ethan, was fine til I'd pick up Olivia then it was uppy ma, uppy ma.. So by 5 when everyone decided to head for home, I was a tad tired..This all began at 6:30 this morning Plus the big kid DH was here as well, men have no idea that if you don't want a kid in a room ya close the door..Or if you play with one who is not walking ya don't leave him on the bed alone while you type on the computer..Fun huh?  See ya, it's about time ot sit for awhile and do nothing..
When DH gets home, hand him whoever is awake then go outside bay at the moon and then come in and have something to comfort YOU!!  You deserve the very best.

kadesma


----------



## Michelemarie

I'm sorry Dina ! This must be a stressful time for you.  Poor little guy - and I know you want to be there but need to be here.  This is very bad sick season - my son went from 5 days of stomach flu immediately into RSV virus complicated by ear infection. I have no where else to be so I am no where near as bad off as you.  I am sorry for you - is there anyone who can stay with your son while you are at school? Love and hugs and prayers to you!


----------



## corazon

kadesma said:
			
		

> Plus the big kid DH was here as well, men have no idea that if you don't want a kid in a room ya close the door..Or if you play with one who is not walking ya don't leave him on the bed alone while you type on the computer..Fun huh?
> 
> When DH gets home, hand him whoever is awake then go outside bay at the moon and then come in and have something to comfort YOU!!


The big kid DH should also not fill a two year old full of chocolate and hand him off.  Both the kids will probably be awake when he gets home, he'll put Aidan to bed and I'll put Callum to sleep.  That's the routine.  He doesn't do much with Callum anyway. Pretty much, only if he has to, until Callum gets old enough to really play with him.  Makes me crazy sometimes.  Gripe.  Gripe.  Gripe.

Best of luck to you Dina!  It's a new job and everything will fall into place before long.  It's an adjustment period for everyone.  I hope your little boy gets better fast!

Thanks MM, I'd love to have that glass of wine.  I'm not much of a wine drinker, but tonight, I feel like I need it!


----------



## Dina

MicheleMarie,
Thanks.  My little one is much better now.  I thankfully have my mom to watch my kids when they get sick.  He's back at daycare and liking it.  Things are just hectic at work with students' behavior!  Sigh!  I am trying my best to keep these little ones controlled (and I really don't want to sound mean to them) but I'm having to be very firm.  This job really teaches me PATIENCE!


----------



## texasgirl

I REALLY HATE LANDLORDS THAT ABUSE THEIR RIGHTS!!!!!
My son said that early Saturday morning, while him, his roommate and a friend were sleeping, their landlord woke them BANGING on the door, before they even had a chance to get to the door, she screamed, I'M COMING IN and used her key and walked right in. She was yelling at my son that their rent was due yesterday and they better hand it over, then after yelling more, walked out. The roommate is the first on the lease, as he is the one that leased the property weeks before son moved in and signed also. The agreement was that she would deal directly with the roommate. The roommate went over there and asked her if just the day before, she didn't say that he could pay on the 3rd as that is when he would get his check, she smiled and said "Oh yeah, I did, didn't I?" AAARRRGHHHHHHH!!!!


----------



## Michelemarie

How frustrating!  I bet your son was angry. I would have been too.  Maybe she has had some bum tenants before and was trying to save herself from future aggervation - or maybe she is just a meanie - hard to tell quite yet. I hope things don't continue like that - you know what they say, mom's make the best landlords!


----------



## texasgirl

Yep, but dad's don't!! 

I told him that he better walk the line and better start paying on the 1st and not go by oral agreements. I know how the rental laws work against the rentors. We were landlords for 10 years  
She has the right to come into the home, but, sense he didn't get a copy of the lease yet, after a month of being there, I don't know exactly what she put on there. I believe it is within descent hours and with fore warning. Not sure though. I told him to tell her that he wants a copy of it. It is her legal duty to give him a copy anyway.


----------



## Michelemarie

Sounds like a good plan Texasgirl. I hope things work out for him (for DH's sake!)  it really isn't funny, is it?


----------



## VickiQ

AWW texasgirl I hope this all works out- how humiliating for your poor son.Love and energy, Vicki


----------



## texasgirl

He has to grow up and learn the real life sometime. I just hate to see it happen and for this woman to take advantage of her status, IF that is what is going on. We'll see. He may have just gotten mad and upset and blown it bigger than it actually was. That tends to happen to the best of us.


----------



## kadesma

This isn't eally avent it just a I'm pooped post. Poor mom, is in the hospital, diagnosis, CHF congestive heart failure, sounds worse than it is. But, because after 30 years of not smoking she took it up again about a year ago. This is also causeing her to have a low oxegyn level in her blood. So along with her dementia she is a handful. I took her to the ER at 10p.m. monday night and didn't get back to bed til last nite at 11:30 So I'm pooped. She doesn't know where she is at the hospital, and wants me right at her side or she cries, and I'm hoping once I get her home it will be better. We stay with her taking turns all day and some of the night. I didn't want them to tie her down, so that was my option. Ari finally made my sis feel guilty about not coming to see mom, so they are coming to day. Good for mom, for me thought, more work. but I am NOT cooking tonight they will have to come along as we go eat OUT...I just don't have the go get um to whip up a meal..anywho before this turns into a rant and vent..just wanted to let you know what is going on..I'm just about ready to go to the hospital and visit..Thanks for being here..
hugs,
kadesma


----------



## pdswife

Go take a long nap!  Take care of yourself... I worry about you!


----------



## texasgirl

kadesma, you are a saint, I swear. You have dealt with so much. I wish your mom understood everything that you are doing. You are one helluva woman, do you know that?? Now, go do what pds said. Lay down and rest. I'll drink a glass of wine to you tonight!!!


----------



## texasgirl

Okay, ressurecting {sp} this thread.

I have applied to 12 different companies and not ONE PHONE CALL!!!!!!
I am about to start pulling out my hair. I have my resume on Monster.com, Careerbuilder.com, Jobcentral.com, Tx Workforce Commission, hotjobs.yahoo.com and Jobs.com
I hate this crap!!!!!!!!! I am getting my sister's Microsoft Office program and teaching myself the Excel and Office. I've seen them, and done a little in the Excel but, it seems as though the people want you to walk in and know everything about the programs, so, I'm going to learn it on my own so that I can update my resume.

Okay, steam out now. LOL


----------



## kadesma

texasgirl said:
			
		

> Okay, ressurecting {sp} this thread.
> 
> I have applied to 12 different companies and not ONE PHONE CALL!!!!!!
> I am about to start pulling out my hair. I have my resume on Monster.com, Careerbuilder.com, Jobcentral.com, Tx Workforce Commission, hotjobs.yahoo.com and Jobs.com
> I hate this crap!!!!!!!!! I am getting my sister's Microsoft Office program and teaching myself the Excel and Office. I've seen them, and done a little in the Excel but, it seems as though the people want you to walk in and know everything about the programs, so, I'm going to learn it on my own so that I can update my resume.
> 
> Okay, steam out now. LOL


Texas,
I know you are at your wits end, keep learning and do what your doing with the computer program..You are already ahead of the game and when that special job comes along, they are going to grab you up and be thrilled that they did..Hang in there, you can do this I'm praying for you...

kadesma


----------



## texasgirl

I just don't have patience. LOL, never did. I always want something RIGHT NOW!!
Oh well, I know something will come along. Thanks kadesma!!


----------



## pdswife

tg... do you have a temp agancy in town?  
I worked through one a few years back... it's wasn't full time or high pay
but it kept me going for awhile.  They were also willing to teach me some computer programs.    
It was nice going to a new place every day too...


----------



## texasgirl

I've worked for temp services too, for 2 years. There is only one that is in this area and that's mainly construction type jobs. I've talked to 2 different ones that are about 30+ miles from me and they don't get many calls for my area. I don't care about the pay right now, so long as I'm not working for gas money. And if it's too far, that's pretty much what I would be doing. I'm not giving up though. I just faxed my resume to another company that doesn't list software as a requirement, just computer skills. So many are wanting your resume emailed and faxed now days. I guess it helps cut down on wasting their time interviewing and wasted paper on people that don't qualify and are just applying. Hopefully, this one will call, it's only about 20 minutes away and in a direction that people are usually going the other way in the mornings )


----------



## buckytom

that must be the job at the bomb testing facility, huh tg?

j/k. good luck. you know we're all pulling for you.


----------



## texasgirl

BUCKY!!!! If you hear a big boom up and over there, you'll know that I got hired.LOL

It's a communication and security system manufacturer and installer. I would be working with a manager as office assistant.


----------



## corazon

So, I love to bake. Every time I bake something, I double the recipe and send one over to the neighbors. Their son eats the majority of what I send over. He recently got a new truck and washes it almost every day, sometimes without driving it anywhere. Tonight, we needed cream. Dh asked if he'd go to the store up the road for us. It would give him a chance to drive, right? He replied, "No. Yeah right, I'll get right on that." 

And get this, 5 minutes later he comes over to borrow our shop vac.  I want to tell his mom about the way he acted but I'm not a tattletell and dh says it's not our place. Still it p's me off!

Thanks for listening!


----------



## wasabi

Kids now days.....sheesh! The gravy train must stop, corazon, no more goodies for that unappreciative brat.


----------



## corazon

What about the rest of the family though?  They are good people and our only friends out here.  If I stop, they wouldn't be able to figure out why.  I think he's just a typical teenage boy who thinks of nothing but himself.  When he brings the shop vac back, I think I'll say something to him.


----------



## Alix

I think that is a much better idea. Be very gentle in your approach though, as you don't want to alienate his parents. Good luck to you.


----------



## kadesma

corazon90 said:
			
		

> What about the rest of the family though? They are good people and our only friends out here. If I stop, they wouldn't be able to figure out why. I think he's just a typical teenage boy who thinks of nothing but himself. When he brings the shop vac back, I think I'll say something to him.


As Alix said, be gentle, a wistful, gee, to bad you didn't have time to get the cream from the store, the ? ? dessert I wanted to make I bet you'd have really enjoyed. Maybe next time though then smile till you're teeth ache 
It works, the tummy always wins 

kadesma


----------



## texasgirl

Well, no job yet!! I'm getting scared and really depressed. I don't know how many jobs I have applied to now. Unemployment won't pay for another week or 2. My car and dh's truck are both due and our insurance by the 9th. Getting groceries is pathetic. I didn't think we would ever be at this point again. I shouldn't have taken everything for granted. I applied for a job at a police dept in the town my boys grew up in. It's an hour and half away, but, if I get it, the money is really good and there are benefits. They at least emailed me and said that they got the resume and that they will look it over and that they interview the most qualified applicants and that if I am one, I will get an interview within 2 weeks. I hate waiting. It's very nerve wrecking. I hope this one goes good.


----------



## pdswife

Something good is bound to happen soon Tg.  It's got to.   I've got my fingers crossed for you.


----------



## texasgirl

Thank you, pds, I appreciate it!


----------



## IcyMist

Texasgirl, don't get down about not having a job yet.  I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and I am hoping that the reason you haven't heard yet is because the perfect job is just around the corner and it will be everything that you hope for.  Will keep you in my prayers and thoughts.


----------



## texasgirl

Thank you IcyMist. I hope that is it. I don't know how much longer I can take this. I'm fixing to have to let my internet go, that's first on the list, then cable EEK!!!!


----------



## middie

I'm sorry Texas. I know the job searches are hard these days. I'm looking for another one myself. Hang in there. I do hope things turn around for you and someone calls you soon !


----------



## texasgirl

Thanks Middie. I hope something comes up fast!!


----------



## wasabi

Sending positive vibes your way, TG. Good luck!


----------



## pdswife

middie said:
			
		

> I'm sorry Texas. I know the job searches are hard these days. I'm looking for another one myself. Hang in there. I do hope things turn around for you and someone calls you soon !



oh no.. are you out of a job too Middie?

Good luck on your search!


----------



## middie

No Pds I still have my job. Just not getting enough hours.
12-15 hours a week isn't that good.


----------



## pdswife

Nope.. nope it's not.  Good luck!!


----------



## mudbug

*Traffic on Fridays*

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - took me an hour and 45 minutes to drive 25 miles this afternoon.


----------



## corazon

*mean old lady*

I don't like confrontations and will avoid them at all costs but today I did something I've never done before. I shouted at some mean old lady in the parking lot of our grocery store. 

It was me and my 2 boys. I had Callum in one arm and was holding Aidan's hand with the other. Aidan has this plastic tractor I said he could bring in with him. We're walking in and stop because there is a car pulling out of a parking space. Meanwhile Aidan drives his tractor along a foot of the plastic bumper of the car we're standing behind. I tell him that isn't our car and not to do it again. He doesn't do it again and we start walking. Mean old lady (MOL) gets out and looks at her bumper, I think "whatever" and keep walking. Then she says something in an angry voice and the only thing I hear is "A-hole." I stop. I just turn around and stand there, waiting for her to notice me. She's in her car at this point and is doing stuff for the next 5 minutes. Then I think she litters as she throws something out the window. I start to get closer to see if she has, she reverses, looks at Aidan and says "stupid kid."    I am furious and say "WHAT?" She yells "Did you see what he did to my car?" and I yell right back at her "He didn't do anything to your car!" She yells something else that I can't make out as she drives away. ARRRG! I am shaking for the next 15 minutes and almost crying in the store. I called dh after I strapped the kids back in the car and was in tears talking to him about it. I stood outside of the car when I talked to him, I didn't want Aidan to hear all that. He just didn't understand any of it. He was trying but thought I was being mean to the MOL, he couldn't understand that she was being mean to him.

I looked at her bumper as we walked by, no marks, nothing. As if Aidan's plastic tractor could have scratched her plastic unpainted bumper! He's not a stupid kid, he is simply a 3 year old. kids are just kids. It's not like he was hitting her car with the tractor or was trying to do any damage. He is such a great boy and she had absolutely no right to say that about my son. She doesn't know him! 

If she had said something about me I would have just been flustered but avoided all this but because it was my son, I felt protective. I felt like I had to stick up for him. Looking back on it now, it seems like it didn't happen. It was so surreal.

dh asked if I got her plate number, I thought about it but then thought, what would I do with it? dh said he could have found out where she lives. Then what though? 

I felt so bad for Aidan that even though he didn't have any idea that she was so mean, I let him eat 5 oreos on the way home. I still feel terrible. He's such a wonderful person. He's relatively calm for his age and no kicking tantrums or anything like that. He's thoughtful and caring. He loves everyone and tells them so. Why did this woman pass judgement so quickly on a three year old?

It just makes me sick.


----------



## pdswife

a hug for you... 
and two for him!
and a big punch in the tummy for mol!


----------



## corazon

Thanks pds.


----------



## buckytom

cora, you shoulda hocked up a giant brown loogey on her windshield.

piss her off, and teach the boys to spit a lung-er, and handle adversity in an escalating situation. kill 2, er, 3 birds with one stone.

and remember if you ever anger pds, guard your tummy...


----------



## corazon

lol bucky!  No matter how mad I am, you can always bring a smile to my face.  I think I should have just thrown the tractor at her as she drove away.  Although Aidan didn't get angry with her for calling him "stupid kid" he would have been mad at me for a week for throwing his tractor.


----------



## kadesma

corazon90 said:
			
		

> lol bucky! No matter how mad I am, you can always bring a smile to my face. I think I should have just thrown the tractor at her as she drove away. Although Aidan didn't get angry with her for calling him "stupid kid" he would have been mad at me for a week for throwing his tractor.


Cora, mothers instinct came into play..I'd have been angry too, but I learned that when a child sees anger it scars them. I had a tantrum or let's say a good ol set to with my mom one day in front of Cade and Ethan, both started to cry and theri only concern was if I was alright. even now months later, if I raise my voice Cade will stop what he is doing and run over to me and Ethan's big blue eyes get even bigger and he will ask, you ok ma? you ok? so I bite my tongue many times and keep my mouth shut. This woman was most likely in a foul mood to begin with and just looking for something to gripe about. If you really want to get her goat, all you'd have to do is look at her and start to laugh, grab the kids and hustle away as much as you'd like to flatten her which she deserved, believe me that knocks them off therm feet. She had no business talking to a child like that for any reason..Just give Aidan a big hug and forget it. If he mentions it say you were scared and you're sorry you yelled and the little guy will be okay. He loves you and puts his trust and faith in you so you show him what a great mommy you are..He will always be on your side.  Don't let anyone goad you into yelling in front of your kids, if they use foul language, give them a look park the kids with DH if he's there and then go let em have it out of the kids hearing..No reason to scare them..OK off the soap box,  you're a wonderful mom and I fully understand your anger, just don't let any darn fool put you in a position like that..And don't worry about her bumper, good heavens it's a bumper not another kid!!!  Hugs all round  
kadesma


----------



## corazon

Ya know, I would have been willing to talk reasonably about this with her but she just flipped out. I thought about going over and trying to talk to her (after the first comment) but I wasn't entirely sure if it was me she was angry with and that's why I stood there waiting. I wasn't going to walk away like she hadn't insulted my son but if it was something else she was mad about she would have just driven off. 

You're right kadesma, it was instinct, like you said. I've never had something like this happen to me before. I just didn't know what to do. I sat Aidan down and talked to him right after it happened but I think he was still confused by it. I told him I was sorry and that the MOL was being mean to him and that's why I shouted. I made certain he knew I wasn't angry with him. dh & I make sure we never argue in front of the kids and I should have been thinking about that today. I've never yelled at dh like that, let alone in front of the kids.

BTW, I wasn't serious about throwing the tractor, it was only a joke.


----------



## PA Baker

corazon90 said:
			
		

> Why did this woman pass judgement so quickly on a three year old?


 
Some people are just nasty, awful people.  Obviously you, dh and your boys are not.  {{big hugs}}


----------



## ronjohn55

PA Baker said:
			
		

> Some people are just nasty, awful people.


 
Hey! Why am I getting dragged into this???

Just because I've been ending quite a few conversations here in the office with "and the horse you rode in on!", that's no reason go picking on me!  

John


----------



## licia

I may not react the way some people do, but if something "not nice" happens when I have one of my grandchildren with me, I tend to get away and try not to have them take notice of it.  Children don't pay as much attention to other people as we think sometime and it seems better to me to disregard the aggravating or nasty people. It seems they will always be about and I'm not going to allow someone with a bad attitude to spoil any outing that I have. The lady may have some real problems and that was just a reaction. We never know what someone's situation is. But, I don't get involved in any confrontations anyway, especially with strangers.


----------



## Alix

OK, need to vent. Bustling around the kitchen, getting supper on. Got it on the stove and turned down to simmer. So, ran down to shuffle laundry from washer to dryer, fold another load, sign on to see whats up here. Just as I sign on I notice a nasty smell, sort of like burnt food. EEK! Dash upstairs to find supper has merrily bubbled over and filled the burner dish and is splooshed all over the stovetop that I just cleaned. YARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!! Fortunately, nothing IN the pot is burnt so I move it to a new element, and clean the stovetop. The burner bib will have to wait til its cooled off. What a nasty mess. BAH! Stupid thing. Simmer my A--!!


----------



## kitchenelf

Alix said:
			
		

> OK, need to vent. Bustling around the kitchen, getting supper on. Got it on the stove and turned down to simmer. So, ran down to shuffle laundry from washer to dryer, fold another load, sign on to see whats up here. Just as I sign on I notice a nasty smell, sort of like burnt food. EEK! Dash upstairs to find supper has merrily bubbled over and filled the burner dish and is splooshed all over the stovetop that I just cleaned. YARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!! Fortunately, nothing IN the pot is burnt so I move it to a new element, and clean the stovetop. The burner bib will have to wait til its cooled off. What a nasty mess. BAH! Stupid thing. Simmer my A--!!



splooshed - one of those Canadian words, eh?


----------



## Alix

Sure is...right along with*^%$&^$^%**#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*


----------



## kadesma

_Yep, Alix, I said that several times today myself  ratsa fratsa _

_kadesma _


----------



## Alix

LOL! I'm feeling better now. Cleaned up the mess, ate supper and had a glass of wine. Amazing how that makes everything all better.


----------



## lulu

This is an amazing thread.  I didn't see it before.  Now I am going to add to it.

My husband's new firm has been great, including getting us the corporate let we are in for the month to give us time to find somewhere of our own.  BUT we have to be out by the 1st of September, and although Milan is starting to wake up most agents won't show us apartments until after 4th Sept.  So I am trying to look for priate lets in a city I don't know (who knows where the areas to avoid in a new city are?) ina language I barely speak.  Plus, I have had to give up my job to come here, so we have taken a huge pay loss, my Italian is no way near good enough to work here, AND the real reason I am angry was because things got so bad with my in laws we left the country to avoid them, and I feel (I know unfairly - this was our choice) that if it weren't for them we would not be in this situation.  

Argh.  I'm sorry I yelled towards the end there.  I am sure we will find some thing soon.  Apartments seem to be smaller here than I am used to in London,plus the pay drop means a bit of hard decision making.  I am just concerned we find somewhere safe and ok for our cats (I have cats instead of kids at the moment) and us to live.  And that I find something sensible to do.


----------



## AllenOK

Alix, it could be worse.  One of the burners on my stove has this habit of NOT coming down from high heat when you turn the knob to Low.  So, whenever I use that burner, I have to turn the knob off, move the pan to an empty burner, than turn off the lights and wait a second to see if the burner is indeed cooling off.  Freaking old stove.........


----------



## Alix

Allen, I think that might be what mine is beginning to do. Phooey! I felt better after venting here though.

Lulu, I wish I could help with the places to avoid in Milan. I sympathize with your plight though. They say that moving is the most stressful thing you can do outside of losing a loved one somehow. Hang in there, we're with you all the way.


----------



## Ishbel

lulu said:
			
		

> This is an amazing thread. I didn't see it before. Now I am going to add to it.
> 
> My husband's new firm has been great, including getting us the corporate let we are in for the month to give us time to find somewhere of our own. BUT we have to be out by the 1st of September, and although Milan is starting to wake up most agents won't show us apartments until after 4th Sept. So I am trying to look for priate lets in a city I don't know (who knows where the areas to avoid in a new city are?) ina language I barely speak. Plus, I have had to give up my job to come here, so we have taken a huge pay loss, my Italian is no way near good enough to work here, AND the real reason I am angry was because things got so bad with my in laws we left the country to avoid them, and I feel (I know unfairly - this was our choice) that if it weren't for them we would not be in this situation.
> 
> Argh. I'm sorry I yelled towards the end there. I am sure we will find some thing soon. Apartments seem to be smaller here than I am used to in London,plus the pay drop means a bit of hard decision making. I am just concerned we find somewhere safe and ok for our cats (I have cats instead of kids at the moment) and us to live. And that I find something sensible to do.


 
DEEP BREATH, Lulu.   It will all work out, but moving is always a stressful time.  Money may be tight for a while, but living in Italy will give you SO many wonderful things to experience.... (even if you DO have to do them on the cheap!)

Parents-in-law... BAH HUMBUG - bin there, dun that


----------



## lulu

You want to know whats even worse....my in laws live most of the time in NY.  It was the weeks of them in the summer, at christmas, at easter and in the fall I could not take....we moved to another country from another country from them!they have NO reason to come to Milan though....lol


----------



## Ishbel

What about the Opera, Fashion Week etc?  You just WAIT...


----------



## lulu

AHHH, 

no its ok, my step m-i-l likes opera, but hates Europe and fashion missed the entire family by!

venting does help doesn't it!  I feel much better than I did when I first posted earlier!


----------



## Alix

YAY! Yes venting helps a LOT! Which is why I created this thread. Sometimes the petty stuff (or big stuff) gets to a point where it is scream or run around like a crazy person. LOL


----------



## Ishbel

I like to vent, too - but today, I've vented to a friend, so I'm able to cope with any little irritant that might be bugging me...  BUT, only for today!


----------



## Dina

Thank goodness for this thread.  My nerves are about to explode.  I've locked myself in my room several times just to let it out and cry!  Argh!  Can anyone tell me if there's life after teen boys?  I know it's not ADD but unable to focus.  Is this meaning equal to laziness?  Good grief!  I need patience for this stage in our lives.  What's calmed me down is praying and then it starts all over again.  This is not fair too because my daughter and toddler get neglected because of all the caos going on with our 12 year old.  I can't believe I'm venting out here about my son but if there's anyone out there who has teenage boys, please give me some advise.  I could surely use some prayers too.  Sigh!


----------



## DaCook

Been there done that 3 times with boys, twice with girls. Trust me, the girls are easier, if that is any solice. Just hang in there, they grow up waaaaaaay to fast.


----------



## kitchenelf

Dina, this is about the time that your IQ goes waaay down and his goes waaaay up - or so he thinks!!!!!!  ...and this too shall pass.  Hang in there!


----------



## pdswife

Mine turned 22 in June... When does it pass Kitchenelf?


----------



## Michelemarie

Dina, I do not have a teen boy but I have a teen girl AND a toddler too - a tough mix.  I feel your pain - imo you are doing the right thing - praying constantly.  I might add drinking helps too.


----------



## kadesma

_Dina,_
_I had four kids and all four tried at one time or another to be boss!! Hard as it is and as much as you love them, don't let them run the show. You are their mom, YOU make the rules and they live in your house, although it's their home.They will respect you or else...Kids need rules and a firm hand and believe me, they will let you know it when they get older. Mine all have one way or another...If you let him see you upset, I don't mean laying down the law upset, I mean the oh dear what shall I do upset, he's won, you have to not let him see you give in. After he's in bed asleep, go outside and bawl like a baby, but don't let him know. You are going to be just fine he will get over this and he may get a few hard knocks along the way, but be there, pick him up dust him off and send out again..He's your boy and you reside in him so we all know, there is more good in him then bad  Take heart mom, he does love you._

_kadesma_


----------



## KAYLINDA

Dina..kadesma is so right.  My three were all terrors at one time or another, but they all grew up....and I know they all love me...even if I was a "mean" mom.  The hardest part is trusting in yourself.  Sometimes we think...well....maybe....but deep down inside you know how you want it to be...and you have to stick to it.  They are trying so hard to be a "man" at this age.  The worst part...they don't even know what that is.  I'll keep you in my prayers.  I know how many tears I shed....and there's very little a person can say to someone going through this time with their child.  God bless you and your family....just keep knowing that no matter what happens you have friends here...so vent away.


----------



## Dina

Thank you ladies. Your words are so meaningful. I know that some days are better than others but yesterday was just the ultimate. Thing is, our boy doesn't disrespect or boss us around, thankfully. He's pretty good in that sense. But when he's asked to do things like homework or pick up his room, he takes hours to do it, literally from the time he gets home to 10 p.m. He seems unfocused and unmotivated to do things. Unless I'm sitting with him doing the math homework and showing him how to work out every problem, he's happy. If I leave him alone to do it himself, he sits for hours tapping his pencil and staring at the walls. He's been getting failing grades in Math only because he's not showing his work, as the teacher requests. He'd have 100's on each of them by now but he's only writing the answers and not following directions. He was in number sense in 6th grade and thinks he can get away with it this year.  I know it's his mark and not mine, but I can't allow him to slack off on academics when I know he's capable of getting the grades.

I know many others have worse problems with their kids and I should be thankful for what I have. I just needed to vent and somehow get some feedback from you moms that have been through this. I will continue to pray for patience and for my son to begin to take some responsibility for his own stuff. Thank you all for listening.


----------



## lulu

Oh Dina, I think that it sounds like you are doing a fine job.  I can't even imagine how tough it must be to be a parent.  I think that boys find it harder to self motivate than girls sometimes, and at twelve he is probably starting to fight with a teenage boys desire to sleep 20 hours a day and moan non stop.  Sounds to me like you are a pretty decent role model for him.

I have no real advice, because I am not a mother, but best wishes and also, from once difficult child, I now look back and am grateful that the parents I "hated" then were strict and brooked no rubbish.  They never seemed upset just milldly disinterested when I made excuses or told them my reasons for not coming up to scratch.  Years later my mother told me in broke her heart but she knew that if I saw that she was upset I would think that normal parts of growing up were valid excuses for not performing upto scratch.  I love her for that now more than if she had given into me.


----------



## Dina

Thank you sweetie.  I appreciate your words Lulu.  I do love my boy so much that I will continue to hold this fort down, even if I have to hide to bawl every day to relieve the stress.


----------



## mudbug

Dina, I hear you.  With me it's a teen girl.  No matter what I say, I'm the bad guy.  Grit your teeth and hang in there.


----------



## Alix

Dina, you know I love you and you know I think your son is a doll (and if we ever get closer together we should introduce our kids! ) 

I have to tell you though, that you need to set up a really impactful consequence for him if his work is not done up to your standards and then WALK AWAY. If you are sitting next to him "helping" all the time then he is not doing what he needs to. You are so sweet and tenderhearted I know this will tear your guts out, but he needs to do it on his own. I'm not saying he is intentionally demanding all your attention, but it is a nice by product of this situation. As for the rest of it, (the taking FOREVER to get things done) well thats a teen thing. Chalk it up to MBA (minor but annoying) and let it go. 

You are going to wear yourself right out if you keep going this way. Your other two kids are going to start acting up to get more of your attention and so the cycle begins.

Make your son responsible for his own marks and come and vent here tons and tons. We will support you, we love you! Teen years don't last forever, but they sure are tough slogging. You can do it Dina! Hugs to you my dear friend.


----------



## Michelemarie

Dina, it sounds like we have similar problems with our teens.  This year I have taken a different approach - like what Alix said.  I am not holding her hand through everying - ie., homework, cleaning room, chores, etc. I state the rules, expectations, whatever. If "A" doesn't happen, then "B" will. For example, your room must  be clean before you go to bed at 9:30, if it is not clean to my standards (and she knows what they are), you will have no phone, tv or computer tomorrow. I don't get mad, can focus my attention on other things (my toddler ripping the mail open), and she appreciates not hearing me nag. For the most part, this has worked. One case it did not work, and she is reaping the consequences now - maybe that is what has helped! Anyways, there are lots of parents of teens here, and they are all very supportive.  We are here to help! Keep your head up, keep praying, and remember you are the mom. Kids like (thrive) boundries - you sound like you are doing everything right.  I once told a family member that, being the mother of a 14 year old was making me lose my mind and she said that I must lose my mind, because no mother in their right mind would let a 16-year behind the wheel of a car!


----------



## Katie H

It's interesting to be on the "other" side of raising children.  Our youngest is going to be 32 in November.  He's one of 5.  Four boys and a girl.  In some ways, our daughter gave us more heartburn than any of our sons.  But my husband and I held our ground and were the parents rather than buddies to our children.  I think that's where some parents make a mistake.  It's nice to be friends with our children but, after all, we ARE the parents.

By the time our children, the boys mostly, reached their teen years, the issue of keeping their rooms up to our standards was almost comical.  Our oldest, now 36, was the worst.  His room should've been condemned.  We ordered, shouted, withheld stuff, campused him, everything.  Nothing seemed to work.  He still seemed to enjoy living in a cesspool.   Finally, we quit harping and just shut his door.  When he asked where his favorite shirt/pants/etc. were, we just told him to look on the floor because he'd neglected to put them in the wash before laundry day.  Laundry day, by the way, has been on the same day for 38 years, so he had no excuse for not knowing when the wash was done.  Plus, each one had a laundry basket in their closet with their name on it.  All they had to do was to put it in front of the washer the night before the laundry was to be done.  Then pick it up the next afternoon.  How hard was that?

He was an "A" student, but did only enough to get by and sometimes not that much.  We practically lived in the guidance counselor's office.  Once he graduated from high school - something we doubted until the moment he walked across the stage - he got the bright idea to enter the military.  He'd always bucked discipline, so we were astounded at his decision.  Not only that, he chose the most difficult service...the Marines.  We were floored.

He served well and proudly and when he left the Marines, we had the opportunity to visit with him at his apartment.  Surprise, surprise, surprise.  The shelves of his linen closet were filled with neatly stacked towels, washcloths, bars of soap, etc.  His closet had each shirt on a hanger, in color order, and his underwear and socks were folded neatly and all in perfect rows.  So much for the messy cesspool of a few years earlier.

He's become a very successful young man and is currently developing his own property managment company.  And, by the way, you can eat off the floor in any room of his house.   Who'd ah known?!

We survived 5 driver's licenses and a couple of automobile accidents.  Thankfully none serious.  We also made it through countless boyfiriend/girlfriend endless loves and break-ups.  Somehow we used instinct and dumb luck to weather whatever storms came at us.

One thing we learned was that sometimes when our children bucked the system and insisted on doing things their way, we just had to let them suffer the consequences as hard it as it was on the two of us.  Sometimes it grieved us plenty but some of the knocks helped them.  All children are different, like fingerprints, so what works with one will not necessarily work with another.  

Four of the five are married.  Two of them now have families of their own and will, hopefully, understand what we were trying to convey to them when they were young.  Having a family is hard work but, as far as I am concerned, it's well worth it.  

So, hang in there and be strong.  You'll be surprised at how much strength you really have.  And, remember, no experience is totally bad...unless you learn _nothing _from it.

Be well.

Katie


----------



## jkath

Katie, those words of wisdom are wonderful!
Thank you so much!
I particularly appreciated the bit about your son's messiness. My older boy will be 14 next month. I've not helped him with homework since about the 3rd grade, and he's always brought home A's on his report card. His attitude is generally considerate and kind, and he's always the first to apologize when he knows he is wrong. But his room! Laundry-land is what I call it. Stacks of folded laundry, on the floor, from a week prior, is mixed up with the things he wore yesterday! And, even though he has an enormous room, the largest part of the floor is forever in the process of a nascar race, with all his 1:16 scale models. I am tired of tripping on them! (and God help me if I move them!)


----------



## kadesma

_jkath, do like Katie did and like I learned to do, look in shake your head and close the door..Say a prayer and be on your way..They will get the message!!! Once that special dance or doings at the school comes along and the new shirt is still on the floor where they threw it..The turn around is'nt immediate, but, it comes._

_kadesma _


----------



## jkath

Thanks, kadesma! I'll do my best!


----------



## Dina

Katie,
I just have to say that I admire parents like you. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences that, I'm sure, will help all of us here. The cleaning is not too bad. He's learned to use his laundry hamper as a basketball hoop so it works well in his room. Now if he can get those wet towels off the bed and on the restroom towel rack, it will be a miracle. 

Alix,
Thank you for your words as well my friend. I'm glad to know I can count on you all here. Unfortunately, my local friends have girls and very young boys so they can't relate to me yet. I know Justin really is a wonderful boy with a
big heart. I know this is a phase he's going through and will pass. Today, he brought home two passing grades in math. Yey! Thank the Lord! He got a 100 and an 85. I'll settle for that. I've asked him to try his best, that that's all we ask of him. I'm starting to believe that he's getting the message across. Today, even his football coach demoted his position for not listening yesterday. He gave me the sad face and I just said that everything has it's consequences and if he wants his position back in the game, he has to earn it by listening and working harder. He said he did work so hard at football practice today and that coach was really proud of him. I know he really knows the consequences of things. I feel a bit relieved about that. He started his homework without me asking him to so I'm impressed (but yet he's humming and getting distracted but I will just let it be). I told him I was not going to sit with him to do homework again but that I'd be available to help. I know the demotion in football is not making him happy and he's working hard now. He also knows that he will be out of football if his grades begin to fail. I'm still praying girls and I will pray for your kiddos as well and that we all can continue to have each others' support. Love you all.


----------



## middie

Okay my turn. While I was at work Sunday between 12 and 6 someone broke into my car. Okay stupid me left the door unlocked so they entered without my permission. Also without my permission they took my car radio, equalizer and kickerbox AND my bowling ball !!! They left a cell phone in my car. Unfortunately it was a stolen cell phone. So the cops got surveilance (sp) of the parking lot. Yeah... they didn't hit record so now there's no way to know who did it !!!!!! During daylight hours right dead smack infront of the store and nobody saw anything, and if they did, didn't bother to report it. GRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


----------



## jkath

oh man, middie! That's horrible!!!!
Do you suppose they can find the owner of the cell phone and find out when it was stolen? That may help a bit.
What is your insurance company doing about it?
Also, is there any assistance you will receive regarding the officer who forgot to push the 'record' button?


----------



## pdswife

Boo-hiss!!!  That's horrid middie!!!   I'm so sorry!


----------



## Brooksy

Middie,
A swift kick in the pants for leaving your car unlocked. Now, a shoulder to cry on and 2 arms for support.

The sense on invasion of personal space is very hard and knowing that some lowlife scumbag in profitting from your loss is really gross.

Hoping the perps use those illgotten gains to buy some hammer and OD. Save the community a lot of heatache.

Dina,
As a male (and getting on a bit), I can still remember back to those days (daze), and from my point of view there was no way a woman was going to tell me what to do, even my Mom. I had a lot of arguments/fights with my Dad, never argued with Mom, just ignored her.

With ours, I was always there to backup DW regardless of whether I thought she was right or wrong. Our boys were both 6'+ at 12, so diplomacy was essential when laying down the law. I basically demanded of our boys to always respect their Mom. The teenage years are really difficult for parents as well as the kids, and remembering that their bodies are being overloaded by hormones allows us to think laterally and use these facts to 'beat' them at their own game and guide rather than discipline them to adulthood.

Bearing in mind though, that I certainly wasn't the best Dad in Oz, but none of our kids have ever been caught breaking the law and are know throughout the district for respecting their elders and assisting whenever they can. Eldest 25, youngest 21.

Questions, questions, questions. Do the Dr Phil, "Do you think it is right to do........?" "Why did you do........?" "Do you think it would be better to......?" 

We had more of a problem with our daughter who would prefer to listen to absolute lies from one of her friends rather than the proven truth from us. Never hit a female yet, but that lying little B***h nearly got her bum kicked into next week a few times.

I haven't got anything to vent about except getting older and stuffing up everything I've tried to cook over the past couple of months......


Oh. for the record, I hate Dr Phil........


----------



## middie

No insurance. Have liability only. The manager of the store forgot to hit record. I'm at a complete loss cause the store isn't "held responsible" for things like that even though it happened on their property.


----------



## luvs

i'm near tears 'bout my hairdye. my hair is already black, yet i mildly refresh my hair's tones. (discontinued hairdye). sigh, i almost weeped like 50 times. so now i'm afraid i'm either insane or elderly (at 25, tee-hee). that's enough. my stomach is seriously in knots. okay, great. now i'm further sad.


----------



## Ishbel

Over a hair dye?


----------



## luvs

yep, ishbel. tears are long ago gone, now. unsure if you're a male or female..... either way, you get black hair & you're committed to those tresses.. natural jet-black hair isn't much more easy to maintain than born skinniness. try it out & then you won't be grinning so.


----------



## luvs

i'm so moody today. that's my vent for now. dagnabbit. i'm avoiding discusscooking till i smile.


----------



## Ishbel

Errrm, the 'clue' might be in my name?

 

Why would a natural red-head like me want to try out black hair, I wonder?


----------



## Alix

Dina, so glad that you didn't have to sit down with Justin again. Its tough to let them slog through it all on their own. We're with you girl. Stand tough and let him make his own mistakes and suffer the consequences, its hard, but he won't learn anything otherwise. You are such a good Mom and he is so lucky to have you.

middie, that royally blows. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Think 'what goes around comes around' at those miscreants and hopefully they will get their comeuppance.

Brooksy! I have missed you on the boards! Glad to see you here, sorry to hear about your cooking woes. It will turn around, we all go through spots of that where NOTHING works.


----------



## luvs

my hair was brown till recently, ish, tee-hee. Lord decided my tresses were gonna be black thereafter.
brooksy! horray! missed you!


----------



## licia

I don't suppose this is actually venting, but it does seem that things began to pile up today.  The traction light on my car came on and when I braked, got a weird noise, so we had to take the car to the shop. Then I found where a bug had been in my bathroom and we can't find him.....Then when I started to take a bath, the water in the shower wasn't draining well. I can't complain since things had rocked along so well for quite a while, but it is strange that they all cropped up on the same day. They couldn't find anything wrong with my car even after hooking it up to the computer so they only charged me $25 for looking. I suppose I will know before long if there is really a problem.


----------



## lindatooo

Dina - I once nailed a notice on my son's door that said the room had been condemned by the health department!  He was a disinterested student regardless of threats, bribes, groundings..etc.  Only time he got a 3.0 was when I told him not Driver's license unless.  That worked.  His grades did not qualify him for college - we told him we would not pay tuition unless his grades were above 3.5.

  He enlisted in the Marines.  A MAJOR shock!  In fact my MIL who was about to visit Switzerland commented that he would be washed out of the Marines before she returned from Switzerland!

This was the kid who never failed to kiss me goodbye even in front of his friends!  He also served proudly and was discharged a different person.  He put himself through college with a 4.0 GPA then he put himself through Graduate School with a 4.0 GPA.  His delightful wife was a wonderful influence, I might add.  He is now a Marriage and Family Therapist with his own practice and teaches Psychology at a private high school.  My darling grand-daughter is 2 and he is a wonderful father.  

Clearly the Marines were just what he needed.

2 in Or


----------



## Dina

Middie,
I'm terribly sorry for the loss. But if you put it in a different perspective, you are safe. Some thieves don't care if they have to hurt people. Material things can be replaced and I hope you find no other damages.

Brooksy,
Thanks for the pick me up words. I don't care for Dr. Phil either. LOL

Luvs,
I'm with you on the hair color; I know how you feel. I did it once and once was enough. Found a few (will not mention how much) grey hair on me the other day, I nearly flipped. I will refuse to color my hair until it's an absolute EMERGENCY.

Alix,
Thanks for your words girl. I will stand tough on this little guy. And guess what? He forgot his Social Studies book to finish his homework today! Ha ha Hey, but something good did happen today. He got put back in his tight end position in football. He proved to the coach he could work harder. He decided to go to bed early cause he asked me to drop him off early at school to get to his book right away. Good boy, good for him. I know he can do this, it's just a matter of time and lots and lots of prayers. Thank you.

Licia,
You're not alone. My odometer is going nuts on my mini-van. Sometimes I don't even know what speed I'm up to. Darn it! And my son's shower has been leaking from the ceiling for a while now. We are waiting for payday to get a blumber up here.

Linda,
It's nice to hear that boys DO change. Thanks for sharing your story. I know that the Marines, or any other military branch, can change a person. It did it for my husband! He is a former Marine, disciplined, tough and the whole nine yards. And believe me, he is tough on our boy that leaves me as "the nice guy" sometimes. I'm hopeful my son will get through this and go straight into college, as he plans.


----------



## luvs

dina, did you hear 'bout my grey i got day before i was 25? i saw an object in my tresses that didn't match my others. then i noticed it was a GREY! i screamed, yanked that hair out & threw that dagnabbin intruder from here till tomorrow, called Mom crying, then my buddy.


----------



## Alix

Grump about the weather and cranky kids. GRUMP! I'm sick of rain! I'm tired of being the ones my kids yell at when they're frustrated with something else. Bite my tongue not to snap back when I'm crabby!

Sigh. Amazing how just getting that out makes you feel better isn't it? Thanks for letting me vent folks.


----------



## luvs

jake. his lack of keys & my concurrent lack of sleep after Jake's work when he rings our buzzer 50,000x so he may be accepted into my apt. 
waking me at dawn when keys are like $5. 
jerk.
he got a lecture, to be VERY mild, with plenty of words that are mean.
if he wakes me tommorrow, he'll likely soon be crying.


----------



## shpj4

*Alix*

I recently purchased a sewing maching and I can't get the darn thing to work.  All my neighbors have tried and it still doesn't work.  I am so frustrated and angry - I called up the manufacturer and told them my problem.  They asked if I still had the box that it came it.  I told them that I had the box - they called UPS and are picking it up next week.

They were very sorry for my problem and are reimbursing my credit card.

Jill and Jolie


----------



## mudbug

*for the parents of kids who can't drive yet*

why am I and another mom always the only two who ferry these kids everywhere?

yet again, a friend of my daughter's needs a ride both ways to an athletic event.  her parents never seem to be able to drive a carful of kids to any of the functions this group of friends attend.

I don't want to take it out on the kid, but I am really getting fed up with this set of parents as well as another whose child always needs a ride.


----------



## kadesma

mudbug said:
			
		

> why am I and another mom always the only two who ferry these kids everywhere?
> 
> yet again, a friend of my daughter's needs a ride both ways to an athletic event. her parents never seem to be able to drive a carful of kids to any of the functions this group of friends attend.
> 
> I don't want to take it out on the kid, but I am really getting fed up with this set of parents as well as another whose child always needs a ride.


I hate to say it, but unless you hit them in the pocket book, they will keep taking advantage. I always had a car full when we had kids playing baseball. I always worked the snack bar, I always chipped in for pizza, there were several sets of parents, who never but never did a thing except make sure to grab at least 2-3 pieces of pizza each..(the pizza was for the kids) adults would buy their own pizza and chip in for the kids. These two were never hungry, we will just have a bite here and there..YEP I wanted to bite them alright!!!I got to the point where I just up and told the mom, hey I love your son and he is always welcome to a ride...But this is costing me time to pick him up and bring him home ( all the others met at school and left from there) so I'm going to need some gas and food money!!! Gosh darn, they suddenly had the car fixed and food in a picnic basket Hummm strange isn't it?

kadesma  who can laugh about it now but then


----------



## Dina

Kadesma is right Mud. If you don't speak up, they will continue taking advantage. I swap every now and then with another mom to pick up my son from football but I make sure and offer myself to get her boy when need be for her. It works both ways.

Alix,
I know how you feel. I hear mine gripe all the time and it's only to me. I tell them to work it out or they're grounded. I encourage good manners, respect and love between them, but it's just like cats and dogs most of the time. I hope once they begin the church youth group, things get better between them. Hey, and we moms are allowed to be crabby too. Things will get better Alix.  Thanks to my wine tonight, I'm beginning to give a hoot about everything! LOL


----------



## Alix

Thanks Dina. Mine started their youth groups this week. Didn't help! LOL. Currently the house is in an uproar because the Eskimos are losing to Hamilton. It isn't pretty around here.


----------



## Dina

I need to know that I'm not the meanest mom on earth.  Just finished a converstation with my son about consequences.  He ended up getting two failing grades this week in Math and Social Studies and expected me to let him go to the movies with six of his friends.  (Supposedly, they were to meet at the theatre and all moms are going to drop them off there.)  He was excited but when I checked the online grades, I asked for an explanation.  The 60 on Social Studies was for no participation and the zero on a math quiz, he could NOT remember.  I was calm about the whole thing, explained that if the work wasn't done at school, it was to be done at home so he had NO TIME to go out with his friends tonight.  Called husband and spoke to him alone about this and he agreed with me about the whole decision.  My son's tears started rolling and of course, my heart started sinking.  I know how much this means to him and how he's hurting but I need to stay firm on this.  I know this is tough love but it's tearing me apart to know he's hurting and thinking I'm a cruel and mean mom.  Sigh!  I need to vent out somehow.  I'm off to soccer practice with my daughter now...thanks for listening.


----------



## Katie H

You made the right decision, Dina.  Yes, I know it's Firday night and the weekend is just beginning but, sorry young man, consequences are not as fun as going to the movies.  Should've thought of that when you were messing up social studies and math.  "No personal social studies until things are brought up to speed.  Do the math."

I know it it hard on you to be firm but if you're not, he'll get used to pushing more and more.  Children have to know there are boundaries.  Too many parents don't dig their heels in and just say, NO.

Hang in there.  The best part is that you and your husband are showing a united front with your son.  That's paramount.  This teaches the child that they won't get one answer from mom or another answer from dad.  Good for you.  You'll be okay.  Lean on each other.


----------



## mudbug

Dina, darlin - been there done that.

You are not the meanest mom on earth (I am the current titleholder, unless Michelle Marie has said no lately)

Of course this movie is the most important movie they've ever needed to see (they're all serious film students, aren't they?)

It is so hard to have your kid shut you out because you said no to their latest whim.

Best wishes, my dear.


----------



## Alix

Ow Dina. I know how much that hurts. No consolation right now, but what you just did made your son a better person. He will remember now that EVERY decision has a consequence and make better choices for himself in the future. Hugs to you sweet lady, that was a hard one. You did good, even though it hurts.


----------



## mrsmac

Dina you have done the right thing but I know how hard it is.I too am often the meanest mum around cause EVERYONE elses mums are letting them go!! Last week I was embarrassing cause I insisted on calling the mum whose house Jess (14) was sleeping over at (I had never met the woman)  Apparantly other people's mums just let them stay over anywhere without ever meeting or speaking to the other parents!!


----------



## Alix

mrsmac said:
			
		

> Apparantly other people's mums just let them stay over anywhere without ever meeting or speaking to the other parents!!


 Well if that isn't the dumbest thing ever. Did I ever mention the "sleepover" party a friend of mine told me about? Her son (13) was invited to this sleepover party, and so she went over there later to drop off some snacks and found out it was to be a CO-ED sleepover!! And in the CAMPER yet...with no adult supervision. Suffice it to say he didn't get to stay for THAT.


----------



## texasgirl

You made the only sane and motherly choice, Dina!! Did you physically punish, no, did you lock him up in a closet and take away his food, no. There are too many out there that would have done just that, even worse!
You were firm and he will know that next time, he better do his work if he wants to have the privelages back.


----------



## Michelemarie

Dina - you are a good mom. I would of done the exact same thing - and feel the exact same way you do.  I always tell me dd - it is so much harder being a good mom than a bad one. He will appreciate it one day. Kudos to you!


----------



## Dina

Thank you all (BIG HUGS to you all)!  I'm crying as I'm reading all of your replies cause I've been holding this pain all afternoon (plus all the darn pmsing that goes along with it).  Crap!  Just got back from soccer practice with my daughter and DH took our 12 year old son for a drive (actually to get a bottle of rum) and a loooooooooooooooooooooooong talk.  I just pray that my DH has the right words to say and that Justin understands and gets moving on school.  Got to get back to dinner.  Thanks again you all.  Love ya.


----------



## AllenOK

Oh!  The Horror!











I had to drink de-caf coffee this morning.

<shudders>


----------



## texasgirl

AllenMI said:
			
		

> Oh! The Horror!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I had to drink de-caf coffee this morning.
> 
> <shudders>


----------



## AllenOK

Freaking kids destroyed another computer keyboard today!  That's two in three weeks!  ARGGHHH!!

At least I have the laptop.  I'll have to go and buy another keyboard.  Luckily, an ergonomic "curved" USB keyboard is only $30 at the local computer parts store.


----------



## Alix

Allen, I feel your pain. Dang kids! Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em!


----------



## VeraBlue

Alix said:
			
		

> Allen, I feel your pain. Dang kids! Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em!


oops....


And Dina, I'm officially the Queen of Cave, never carried through on any threat ever.  Just didn't have the heart for it.  Good for you for following through.   I would like to say that in spite (or because of) my lack of strong discipline, both kids are well adjusted and doing very well in college.   They also tell me all the time that they love me, and confide their heart's feelings too.  Not bad, I'd say.  And yes, both of them failed plenty of tests, plenty of classes.  It's always tough to know what to do in any particular case.  Take each one as they come.  Sometimes being strong works, and sometimes, you have to let the hit bottom to figure out how to climb up, alone.    Hope you are feeling better now, and same for your son.


----------



## AllenOK

Well, PeppA found my digital camera today.  It was stuck back in the closet.  Logan, one of my twins, like to worm his way in there and hide.  I'm missing quite a bit of gold jewelry, I wonder if it's in there somewhere?

I noticed the camera was set to "Video", and was off (thank goodness for power-saver functions!).  I opened up the memory bay, and sure enough, the SD card was still in there, but backwards.  I had to use a pair of tweezers to get it out.  I turned the camera Off, then to Auto (like I was going to take a picture), and it booted up.  Good.  I'm not really worried about the batteries, as I'm using rechargables.  I popped the SD card into my laptop, and sure enough, there were about 20 still captures on the card.  One of them was actually fairly decent, and it was of the OTHER twin, Ronnie.  Ah ha!  Team effort!  I ripped the one decent pic onto the laptop, formatted the card, and put the card back in the camera.  At least now, I can take some picutres.


----------



## phinz

<rant on> 

Here's my rant:

So, I finally get my car. I ordered it over *3* months ago. I went and picked it up last night. What does it do today? It rains. Not only rains, but *hails* and then *pours." And does the rain stop? No. It rains from 1.5 hours before I got off work until now, and it's still raining.

At least the hail didn't do any damage, and I'm taking a vacation day tomorrow. It's supposed to be *gorgeous* all weekend, so I would imagine I'm going to put some mountain miles on the newest addition to the stable. 

<rant off>


----------



## corazon

Someone came up in our driveway last night and rifled through our car.  We usually lock it but forgot last night.  They stole $3 but left their knife, which probably cost more than $3.  Most likely some druggie.  or punk kid or both.  Yuck.


----------



## pdswife

ICK!  I'm sorry. 
I hate the feeling of "unsafeness" ( is that a word) that something like this gives you.


----------



## Alix

Friend of the family passed on the weekend. Why is there money funding stupid crap like Viagra when cancer is still ravaging all of us?


----------



## shpj4

*Venting*

I have been under a great deal of stress since last week.  The reason is I was informed by AMEX and VISA that there were "Possible Fraud Activity" on my accounts.

American Express emailed me a copy of the charge which was not mine and as soon as I got off the phone from them they cancelled my card and sent me a new one overnight by UPS.

Visa called me up and told me what the charge was and asked me if I had purchased something from that store.  I told them no and they immediately cancelled my card and sent me a new one overnight by UPS.

I am very fortunate that my credit card companies keep a close watch on my account.  They told me that whenever there is a charge on my account that was different than my normal charges they would get in touch with me immediately.

They also said that "Theft Identity" was one of the reasons why the interest rates on all our cards was so high.


----------



## mudbug

You were lucky, shpj4.  

Some say they don't want the govt invading on their privacy, but the credit card companies do it all the time and in this instance for a good reason.


----------



## shpj4

Thank you mudbug for your comment.  I agree with you and in this instance I was very lucky.


----------



## Half Baked

They caught the guy who stole my credit card # and he's in jail.  I knew exactly who had done it because I'd only used it at one store and knew the name of the checker.


----------



## kitchenelf

Alix said:
			
		

> Friend of the family passed on the weekend. Why is there money funding stupid crap like Viagra when cancer is still ravaging all of us?



I'm sorry Alix


----------



## Half Baked

Alix said:
			
		

> Friend of the family passed on the weekend. Why is there money funding stupid crap like Viagra when cancer is still ravaging all of us?


 
Oh Alix, I'm so very sorry.  I do not know the answer to your question and it is very frustrating.


----------



## kadesma

Alix said:
			
		

> Friend of the family passed on the weekend. Why is there money funding stupid crap like Viagra when cancer is still ravaging all of us?


I wish I had the answer Alix, the first thing I'd do would be to change things.It hurts like blazes to lose a loved one, my thoughts and prayers go out to all of you.

kadesma


----------



## kadesma

Half Baked said:
			
		

> They caught the guy who stole my credit card # and he's in jail. I knew exactly who had done it because I'd only used it at one store and knew the name of the checker.


Jan,
glad to hear you got some justice out of this..That silly fool is getting just what he deserves.
kadesma


----------



## shpj4

*Venting*

I just received my American Express bill and there were two more Fraud charges.  The total is now three and the amount is $1,114.91.

They will send me a letter showing how they dispute the charges.


----------



## lulu

I don't know whether to laugh or cry!  I just spent a whole five days sorting and preparing my currently unneeded clothes for storage.  Every thing was landered mended, packed in to storage bags sorted into season and size (does every woman have clothes in four different sizes?) It was a long job....I have three large hanging rails of clothes, many of them tat, some of them seriously not and worth a bit of money! So today I go to lift the bags to put them in my mother's attic.....my storage space while we live in Italy!, and the bags broke and the clothes came tumbling out.  At exactly this time, as the two bags I was carrying split, the dog chased my two caats in to the room and everything is a mess again......well these two big bags worth.  I have gone and bought some strage boxes now, but they are different sizes so its not a simple transfer job. Oh well.  I beter get the ironing board out again.  guess what I am doing for the rest of the day!


----------



## Alix

Wow lulu, you had a crappy day. That would make me want to pull out my hair.

My vent is that I have finally caught the cold/flu bug my kids brought home. I fought it for a month and this week it found me. My chest feels like I have a 20lb cat sleeping on me and I have a fever that won't quit. To top that off, I got to attend a memorial service last night while on my dinner break from work. Then this morning I got word that the mom of another friend is failing and may not be with us much longer. Sigh.

Has anyone else noted that with the winding down of the summer months those folks that are ailing wind down their lives as well? We have lost people the last three Octobers. I'm beginning to dread fall. I used to love to see the leaves change and sort of felt like fall was a time of beginnings. Related no doubt to going back to school and buying new stuff etc. I don't feel like that anymore.


----------



## jkath

I'm with you Alix. My mom called yesterday afternoon to let me know that my uncle (my Dad's last remaining sibling) will probably pass today. Just a couple of weeks ago (on Mom's side) my uncle's wife passed. 

I'm sorry about your sickness. Maybe it's because you need to stop all the constant daily grind and take a rest!  

My vents today.....
Vent #1: I'm still having neighbor issues. I bought the owl, as MicheleMarie suggested, and the next day, the neighbor had covered it with a brown paper grocery sack. grrrrrrr. The owl's still there and she feeds the wandering rodent population on the parts of the wall she thinks I can't see.

Vent #2: I found even more stuff that the previous owners of this house didn't fix (that was in the contract that they had to). I'm in the process of submitting estimates to their vulture of a realtor to have them cover the costs. Looks like at least 2k. And, all must be done before the 4th, which marks the 1 year of ownership status.

Vent #3: I'm getting a cat. Why is it that everyone and their mother has free kitten signs up constantly, till I need a cat? The shelter wants $80 plus another $40 for spaying. oy!


----------



## Alix

jkath, we need to retire to the hot tub for some pampering I think. Who else is with us?


----------



## buckytom

<<buckytom appears in swim trunks, inflatable duckie around waste, nose clip in place>>

*i am!!!!!!!!!!!*


----------



## Alix

You need some pampering too buckytom? We'll see if we can hire a nice Swedish masseuse for you just for the day. Lets go!


----------



## Claire

Just venting.  My computer crashed a couple of weeks ago.  Because I live in a small, rather remote community, it isn't easy to get computer support.  So it took over a week to get me back in business.  Then, of course, I lost my code for this site (the only one I participate in, but I like it and missed it).  I was also trying to coordinate my turn at "bunch for brunch", which is a lot easier to do on line than by telephone calls.  Oh, I also write a column for the local newspaper (I don't get paid, so it isn't a big deal).  But the paper was trying to contact me via email to identify people in a photo.  Computer guy did show up, but the entire thing was a pain in the pattootie.  Now when a pop-up comes in and says "windows update", I will ignore it.


----------



## kadesma

Claire said:
			
		

> Just venting. My computer crashed a couple of weeks ago. Because I live in a small, rather remote community, it isn't easy to get computer support. So it took over a week to get me back in business. Then, of course, I lost my code for this site (the only one I participate in, but I like it and missed it). I was also trying to coordinate my turn at "bunch for brunch", which is a lot easier to do on line than by telephone calls. Oh, I also write a column for the local newspaper (I don't get paid, so it isn't a big deal). But the paper was trying to contact me via email to identify people in a photo. Computer guy did show up, but the entire thing was a pain in the pattootie. Now when a pop-up comes in and says "windows update", I will ignore it.


I wondered where you were Claire.
Glad everthing is now working and you can visit with us. I sometimes get so frustrated when things go wrong with the computer and help just saunters along at it's own pace leaving me to fret and fume 
And yes ignore those "Windows uopdates"
kadesma


----------



## kitchenelf

*Not really a vent*

ok, so this is not really a vent but scared you-know-whatless.  Someone rang my doorbell and my husband's not home.  THe dog went wild and there's police all around my house and surrounding houses.  I'm still shaking.  But I think whoever it was knows people are looking for him.  Dang, I was sleeping so good too!  lol  Anyway, I just had to talk to someone - I don't want to call my husband because he's got to get up really early for meetings.

I love you guys - thanks for being here.


----------



## wasabi

Make sure everything's locked up tight. Leave the lights on in the front room. Sleep with your phone right at hand, and please be careful!


----------



## KAYLINDA

What a scary way to be awaken!  Hang in there..be safe...and give us an update!


----------



## lulu

I hope you are feeling ok.  It must be very scary.  Wasabi gave good advice. If you hear ANYTHING suspicious again, call the police.  If they are already looking than they will be glad or the lead, and they would surely rather come over and check your place and NOT find something than not come and either leave you worrying or put you in danger.  So don't feel you can't.  I would put the lights on throughout the house so that anyone approaching will have to risk being illuminated.  Draw the curtains of where you are but let the light spill out elsewhere.  

Meanwhile have a nice, comforting drink....I would have a cup of tea being british!, and if you can't go back to sleep stay and chat to us!

The great thing about DC is there is always someone else online!


----------



## mudbug

I was going to work at home today because I have to take daughter to the orthodontist around noon anyway.

Can't connect to the office network and can't get Word to open either - only my office email is working so that I can tell everyone how useless I will be today.

But at least I can hang out with you guys, so that's a good thing!


----------



## Claire

I had a similar thing happen to me once, only I wasn't home.  I was driving home and found my home surrounded by police.  I parked a block away and cautiously approached.  Turned out a neighbor had gone postal ... luckily she was unarmed and dangerous only to herself.  I've also lived in some rough neighborhoods.  I learned that people's natural inclination is to go outside when they hear gunfire or sirens.  NO!  Lock doors and move loved ones and phone to an interior room.


----------



## lulu

I HATE CARS.

My car goes to the garage tomorrow to be serviced and smartened up for sale.  Meanwhile I am looking to buy something old and beat up, but safe, to drive from UK to Italy in, and back, once a year with my stuff in, and my cats.  (My current car is a teeny tiny sporty one and I need a big cage for the cats for such a long journey, not small carriers).  

So, everytime I get an AA check on a car I think I'll buy it FAILS.  My husband and father are both hopeless with cars too and I feel like I am fighting a losing battle.  I just want a cheap diesel 4x4 that is going to resist the inevitable crash in Italy and let me get out a live.  Its because I know its a matter of when and not if I crash ion Italy that I don't want to put a lot of money in to the car but all the cheap ones seem dangerous or macanically unsound.  I can't join my husband in Italy again until I have found the wretched, an mythical, safe old car. I HATE CARS.  When I settle back in UK I'm getting a Vespa.


----------



## kitchenelf

lulu - I'm still unclear - do you hate cars?  Come on, don't mince words, tell us what you think!!     (I hate cars too)

I just picked up all the dog's toys/bones/balls, etc. putting them in a box and she is pulling every one back out - placing the bones all around the house where she had them!!!!!!!!!    She has taken her favorite dead animals (I say "dead" because the stuffing is gone out of them) and placed them back by her food bowl - before she takes a bite of food she picks one up and slings it (I guess "killing" it?) before she eats her food.  Is this her version of killing her prey before she eats?


----------



## jkath

elf, how about getting rid of her 'dead' toys and taking her to the pet store to pick out a new one or two? My dog loves her toys so much that the stuffing magically comes out...go figure  So, about once every 6 months, I get rid of the icky ones and replace them.

PS - for those of you following my neighbor issues, 3 days ago she put a plastic bag over my owl and tied a blue ribbon around the bottom so it wouldn't blow off. I stomped out to the garden, had my own ribbon-cutting ceremony and tossed her bag & bow over the wall.


----------



## kitchenelf

jkath - what a neighbor!!!!!!!!!  I think "kitty" will help a lot!

We do take her fairly often to pick out new toys - it only takes about 2 hours for her to get the stuffing out of them though (most of the time more like 30 minutes).  We can't get them too often because she ingests some of the filling - which does not act like a FIBER!  ...if you know what I mean.  Her poor little system gets a tad clogged.  One time I thought she must be dieing!!!!!  After it rained later that day and washed "everything" away I realised it was red tennis ball fuzz


----------



## pdswife

well.. my new freezer just arrived.   And then went away again... 

It was dented very badly on both sides.  I refused delivery!!!!   The delivery man said this happens all the time!  IT DOES???  Well why don't they do something about it?   They'll be bringing a new one (again) on Saturday.  Sigh.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Make Difference*

I don't think that is as bad as having delivery men show up at 5:30 on Friday night and tell me they can't get it into the kitchen when it is the same size as the old one!  They left it on the breezeway w/doors off and all my food on the counters.  They advised me to go to the store tomorrow and buy smaller one.  HO HO HO. It was middle of July and no air condioning in the house.  I won't ever forget that.  We had to call on some friends to put the thing together and move into the kitchen.  At least my food was saved.  The name of the company was SEARS.


----------



## pdswife

ok, you win.  But.. I'm still mad.  lol.


Yep, We bought this one at SEARS too.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Sears*



			
				pdswife said:
			
		

> ok, you win.  But.. I'm still mad.  lol.
> 
> 
> Yep, We bought this one at SEARS too.



I thought SEARS was like a god at our house.  Whatever we got was from SEARS!  I am so sorry to see how they are treating their customers.  I purposely mentioned the name as i wouldn't wish this experience to happen to no one.  I truly won't forget this and I know you won't either.  Had to get dryer and pay for delivery but what a difference.  They came at the time expected and even swept behind the appliance for me.  Do I appreciate when people do their jobs but why is there a extra cost involved for them to do this? 

pdswife, why do I always win at the wrong time?  Hope your freezer comes perfect and that you have good luck w/it.  I look at my fridge and remember the incident connected w/it.


----------



## pdswife

and it continutes... so... they were supposed to deliver the new freezer last night between four and six.  At 7:30 they finally call and say that they are at the top of my road and REFUSE to drive down with their big truck.  It's TOOOOO dark!  Well, it wasn't dark at four o'clock and it wasn't even dark at six o'clock.   If they'd come on time then I'd have my freezer!!!! Ok, I understand how they could get behind on their deliveries... but, I'm still feeling the need to vent.  They've promised to bring it Monday before 2:00 pm.  It'd better be in good shape and they'd better be on time... or I'll cry.  

We are getting a 75 dollar gift card for all our hassles though.  I guess that's a good thing.  : )


----------



## Snoop Puss

Don't they have lights on their truck? How did they manage to get back to the store? It doesn't inspire much confidence in their driving skills.


----------



## pdswife

No... no it doesn't.   I think they were just tooo lazy to want to deliver one more thing in an already busy day.  Boo -hiss at them.


----------



## shpj4

*Venting*

My Arthritis has been really bad for the past week.  I am very stiff in the morning when I first wake up - then I take my cane and walk around the condo for a little while.

I am having a lot of trouble with my right arm and at night when I go to sleep I am up half the night because of the pain.  

My doctor gave me prescriptions for Vicodin and Motrin (800 mg) tablets for the pain but nothing seems to help.  I do have cold packs to put on my knees to lower the swelling and sometimes that helps a bit.

Sorry about my problem but I am very unhappy and in a lot of pain.


----------



## bullseye

shpj4 said:
			
		

> My doctor gave me prescriptions for Vicodin and Motrin (800 mg) tablets for the pain but nothing seems to help.  I do have cold packs to put on my knees to lower the swelling and sometimes that helps a bit.
> 
> Sorry about my problem but I am very unhappy and in a lot of pain.


Wow; I'm sorry you have all this pain to deal with.  A man who works for me suffers terribly from arthritis, and his doctor prescribes something called Mobic.  It seems to help him a great deal with the pain.  Might be worth asking your doc about it.


----------



## wasabi

Jill, I suffer from arthritis also. I feel your pain, girl. I pray you will get some relief soon.


----------



## ronjohn55

Lousy, stinking, good for nothing @(&$)(@&)!!!!!!!! Computer at home!!! 

John


----------



## Snoop Puss

Out of interest, what does the shouting icon say? I reckon it's "Bad boy".


----------



## jkath

today's vent: I'm shelling out $2,000 this week to have 3 palm trees removed from my property. That was the money I wanted to use for shutters. grrrrrr.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Pain*

This column has pain, both mental and physical.  I am sorry to read about this.  

pdswife, did you have a freezer already?  If so, what did you do w/the food in t he meantime?  With my fridge, all the food was on the counter.  Goes to show you can't believe SEARS anymore.  No amount to compensation can account for all the stress they cause.  Seems to have no concern.  Doesn't anyone have conscious responsibility anymore?  Always excuse.

About the arthritis, my cousin advised me to use something over the counter called JointFlex.  The cost was almost $20 but the pain I had was so bad I went ahead and tried it.  They had money back guarantee.  With continued use it worked.  I just could not believe it.  It is only suggestion and w/prayer my problem got relief.  I know I used around 5 tubes in the beginning but it helped.  That is what is important.  Who can accept const ant pain?


----------



## pdswife

I already had a freezer.  This one will be an extra.   The freezer arrived this morning.  MORE PROBLEMS!!!!   Saturday when I talked to the delivery people they said to tell the delivery guy to CALL THEM when he delivered the freezer today so that we could set the gift card up.  The delivery guy lied right to our faces and said that there was NO way he could call them.  HE didn't even have a phone #!  How in the world could that be.  He has to be able to comunitcate with them.  They have to be able to comunitcate with him.  The last two delivery guys called them from the truck....

 We said we wouldn't sign the delivery paper until we talked to some one and he just walked away... we asked him his name.. he just kept walking.. we asked him again and he just ignored us.  He left the freezer but, it's not hooked up or installed ( installation was part of the deal)... He was so mean and rude. and BIG AND UGLY!!!   Luckily Paul was here this time and saw the whole thing.  

He called the delivery place and we worked it all out, a service tech will be coming to install it sometime today between 1-5 which means I have to stay home again waiting....ugh.

BUT, the part that really makes me mad is that we have meat waiting at the butchers. 2 hours away from here.  Paul was there this weekend and could have picked it up but..since we didn't have a freezer to put it in, I HAVE to drive over there Wed. to get it!!!!  Luckily gas prices are going down a little.


----------



## jkath

You need to make sears aware of ALL of the problems.
Call, and ask to speak directly to the head of the mgt. 
Do not let them say the mgr is busy.

Tell them of all happenings, even the meat waiting at the butchers. They need to compensate more than is necessary. My suggestion would be a much-longer warranty than they've given you. If they are not interested,
let them know you will not be using their services anymore, and have already notified all friends/family of this unbearable situation.


and, when you're done, have a big bowl of ice cream. That always helps.


----------



## pdswife

can ya stand some more??


Five o'clock passed with out a service tech knocking on the door.  I called delivery... my file said that " a service call" had been set up but, when delivery called service to check... NOTHING.  Who ever said they set it up really didn't!!   So, now... I have to wait here all day again wed.   I'm ready just to tell them to come pick the dang thing up.

Jkath, we are getting a 100 dollar gift card from Sears for all our trouble.
But, I don't think it's enough.

We will not be shopping there again.
This is just plain silly!   I don't get mad. But boy oh boy am I mad NOW!!!!!!


Ice cream..yes, with a cup of kaluha poured on top.  lol


----------



## Half Baked

Don't get me started on Sears.  I have sworn never ever to set foot in their stores.  I had the most horrendous time with them when I moved and bought all new appliances for the house.  Do you know that when you pay for 'installation' that means they will plug it in for you!  

My vent this morning is Mr HB and I overslept and now my oatmeal is cold.  I'm hoping this doesn't set the tone for the rest of the day.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*What Can I Say?*

pdswife, looks like YOU win!  When I had my trouble, I called for manager, his response after detailed explanation was to take it up w/delivery.  He had no control over how they handled things.  He said I wasn't the first to complain.  He had no apology or anything.  What a complete waste of time.  Customer service in this country is getting bad, real bad.  But if you look at the whole picture you can see this country doesn't make hardly any products anymore.  We are going toward Cust omer Service jobs and when there is excess is suffers.  See it more and more.  When I talk to someone who offers me help, I appreciate their sense of duty that I immediately talk to their supervisor so they are made aware of their employee doing what they are supposed to.  No discipline in this country, nor  integrity.  I feel I trusted SEARS so much that my sense of pride is gone.

jkath, I had to spend $1700 to have ONE tree taken down.  Storms we had here damaged it which caused all my problems of refrigeration in first place.  At least I am thankful the tree did fall on my house.  It is gone and I think of what could have been instead of money that it took.  Have to look at positives.  In pdswife case, I am still looking.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Add to It*

I recycle all my papers, bottles, plastic, etc. hoping it will help environment.  Sure!  Yesterday in my mailbox received outside cover of prayer book I get once month w/addressed portion.  I had torn the address off the prayer book and recycled it.  Now how do you think this happened?  Does someone go through the recycling bin and have the time to do this stuff?  How come the post office accepted it.  There was nothing attached just the mailing label portion.  I am sure going to post office and question this.  Do we have to go through everything we recycle?  First, trouble w/telephone now post office?  Do you know what kind of lesson I am supposed to learn here?  I am getting confused and MORE paranoid than usual!


----------



## pdswife

There's a good side... I'm sure... lets see...um... ummmmm.....Well in the end I will have the new freezer that I've always wanted.  Yep, that's it and we have the time and money to fill it with good meat and other food and we have lots of good friends to share it all with.  There. It's all good!!!!


About the recycling and mail.. WEIRD!!!


----------



## Alix

OK, do any of you have a built in BS detector? You know what I mean, someone will be talking to you or you will be reading something and your detector goes into the red zone?

Guess I should have put this in pet peeves, not Venting, but I'm just tired of people trying to BS me. BAH! Can you tell its rainy and yucky out and I'm still feeling crappy? I'm just such a sunny little personality right now.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Hello*

Uh oh, you think it is contagious?  I sure can relate to the feeling, Alix!  Sorry it always seems to happen to the nicest people.  As I have always been told the world looks different in the morning.  Don't jump off a bridge at night.  Your description sure is familiar.  Just remember I care about you and want you to forget all the bad people in this world.  You have a cat don't you?  She would never mistreat you.  Just focus on her.  Hug her and tell her you don't like people that are not good.  Works for me.  Sounds like a kook but whatever works.


----------



## Alix

ITK, thank you so much. Your post made me feel so much better. If you were here right now I would give you the biggest hug, so here's a virtual one. {{{{{{{{{{{ITK}}}}}}}}}}}}

I'm going to go pour a cup of tea and snuggle one of my kitties right now. That is JUST what I need to do. Thanks again for the perspective check. 

(Oh, and I have been sick for a while now and just am not bouncing back as fast as I think I should. I'm impatient with myself.  )


----------



## Buck

Alix, if you like kitties this may help cheer you up.
Buck


----------



## kitchenelf

You feel better, don't you Alix!  Yes, by BS detector leaves me confused and disoriented sometimes - shaking my head like a dog with ear mites!  (lol, nice description, huh?)

cute pic Bucky


----------



## lulu

Just as I have organised a removal that is going to cost more thousands of pounds than the stuff we own is worth; DH is settling into the appartment we found in Milan; I have jacked in my job, got the cats passport vaccs up to date ready for the big move........looks like we might be coming back in six months!  I just want DH to finally get the job thing sorted.  We can't even think about starting a family or anything while everything is so up in the air 

Sometimes I feel like I am hitting my head against a brick wall.


----------



## -DEADLY SUSHI-

*What Ticked You Off Today!*

A day is filled with many things. 
Some may be great (lets hope!)
Some things may be NOT so wonderful.  

And thats where THIS thread comes in. 
Lets be honest..... generally there are situations that occur where things dont go the way we like them.
It might be simply irratating, or down right BAD!  

One of the best things to do is share it with someone! Right now I think we have a good group of folks that care and can sympatize and/or give decent advice. (that advice can not be held against DC in ANY way.)
WE are NOT professionals, but we care. 

So what happened today that really bugged you?


----------



## pdswife

So far... nothing.   It's been a good day.  : )


----------



## wasabi

How did you know I was in a bad mood today, Sush? I was getting ready to take my new cyber- shot camera out to take some photos of the yard and my puppy and what do you know, the $$$$ memory pro stick that was in my camera is gone. I put it in my camera and now it's gone............... Is it like the socks you put in the dryer? %%$#$##$$%$##, now I have to go out and buy another one. The missing one was new!$$#$%$#$


----------



## TATTRAT

today has been pretty good....but it aint over yet!


----------



## kitchenelf

I know DS started a new thread "What Ticked You Off Today" but this is really the same as the "Venting" thread thus they were merged.  No hard feelings DS, right?


----------



## -DEADLY SUSHI-

Nope. Just want folks to tell us the bad stuff so we can give them a BIG hug!


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Hugs*

Thanks for all the hugs!  Really help when you can't stand others and yourself either.

How is everyone doing today?  It is NEW day, look forward to somthing GOOD happening.  I have been told if we keep this thought uppermost in our thoughts we will always find good.  It does help to talk to yourself.  I notice at times people talking to themselves.  Doesn't surprise me.  I tell myself (in silence) I have been there done that.  

I am sending out good thoughts to all of you and especially those of you with pets.  They truly fill a void in my life and I know they do in yours.  

So let's hear how you are doing?  We want to know.


----------



## Snoop Puss

Still trying to get over general anaesthetic for an op on Tuesday. Feeling pretty knocked sideways, but better than yesterday. So that's good!


----------



## Michelemarie

Snoop Puss, I hope all gets better for you soon!


----------



## Michelemarie

Do you have a Burlington Coat Factory near you? Well, today I was there returning a cheap evening bag I bought last month. This store just implemented a cash-back policy - they used to only issue store credit but now they will give cash/credit back. Well, no need for cash back for me as I returned an evening bag and was buying three times the amount of the return - I just wanted the credit to be applied to my new purchase. I hand the purse and the receipt to the cashier and she tells me that she can only give me the last sale price of the purse because it has been longer than 30 days. I explain that I do not want cash back, I want the amount I paid for the purse to be put towards my current purchases. She tells me again that she cannot give me what I paid for it but only what the last sale price was. I explain, again, getting irritated, that the receipt is proof of what I paid for it and that I do not want the cash back only the credit towards my new purchase.  The manager comes and asks me if I have shopped in their store before. I am getting ready to throw my merchandise at him and walk out when he says he will give me what the receipt says "this time" but it won't happen again.  I thanked him (even though I didn't think it was necessary). Anyways, I looked at my receipt, yes it was over thirty days, it was _33 days_....As it turned out the cashier only charged me for two items instead of three - I just couldn't walk out of there knowing I wasn't charged for everything, even though I was tempted!


----------



## Alix

Way to go Michelemarie, but don't shop there again after THAT crap. I know there are a lot of places getting persnickety about returns, but I make a point of spending my money in places that don't hassle me at all if I need to return something. Here in Edmonton the two best places are Costco and WalMart. They will take EVERYTHING back with no questions asked. The WORST is Superstore, holy moly they are a royal pain in the butt. I no longer shop there.


----------



## texasgirl

I thought that was the whole idea of having a stupid receipt!! I know if you don't have one, they will only give you what the product is selling for at that time. Good for you on keeping your cool!! I don't know that I would have. LOL


----------



## shpj4

*Venting*

Yesterday I had a car accident.  I was stopped at a red light and a car that was crossing on a green light ran into my passanger side bumper.  Right after he ran into me he kept going at a very high speed and I was very stressed out.  Jolie was in the car with me and she started crying.

I pulled over to the side and looked at the damage and I started crying.  A man that was next to me came over to me and asked it I was okay.  He saw the accident but didn't get the license plate.  He said that it looked to him as if the man was drunk or on drugs.

I was on my way to my Therapist and I was a basket case.  Gail and I talked for an hour and after I left I felt much better.  It is only a car and can be fixed and Jolie and I are not hurt.


----------



## Jikoni

So sorry. The shock sometimes is overwhelming from my experience.Very glad you are both safe. Dangerous drivers out there so y'all watch  out. I always think Iam a lousy driver just so I give all the lousy drivers a chance to do their whatever . My dad always told me to drive like everyone else is a bad driver. Caution all the time.


----------



## Half Baked

My dad always taught me - no matter if you are right or wrong, sometimes your car is wrecked if you insist on being right, even if you are. 

Shpj4,  if you were stopped, how in the world did the car hit you? He would've had to have made a reversed question mark.


----------



## pdswife

Glad you're ok.  !!


----------



## Snoop Puss

Shpj4, glad to hear you're OK. That kind of situation gives you a terrible shake. Hope you manage to get back on the road OK.

As a somewhat odd aside, I was intrigued to read the explanation of the man who came over to see if you were OK. If this kind of situation occurred in Britain, people would assume it was a kid joyriding. In Spain, it would be assumed that the driver was driving their own car but without insurance and so was too scared to stop in case the police got involved.


----------



## buckytom

shpj4, sorry to hear of the accident, but glad to hear it's only something that can be fixed, nothing worse. don't worry, everyone gets shaken in a car accident. even big tough guys like goodweed and ronjohn.    

snoop, respectfully, those are all tremendous generalizations.

an eyewitness account is probably the best thing to go by. next is how aggressive the police want to be. in a small town, you might get lucky. in a city, you'll have to rely on luck beacuse since no one was hurt, the crime is minor.


----------



## lulu

Glad you are ok shpj4......haing had a minor smash earlier this year I know how shaky it can make you feel, even if the damage is not so serious and you know it is not your fault.

Snoop, in UK I would be more likely to assume it was a no insurance job than a joy rider.  Insurance evasion is getting MASSIVE here.  DH passed his test last year...having been a city boy until I met him and not needed a car.....his insurance 3rd party on my mother's 1.3 l engine car was over 2000 sterling.....my insurance company refuse to insure him on my 1.7l car.  He had a pass plus and was 26.....I am all for responsible driving and appropriate engine sizes but one can see why evasion becomes a huge and terrible problem.

Whatever the problem with the guy who hit shpj4 at least no serious damage was done!


----------



## Snoop Puss

Buckytom, I agree they're generalisations, enormous ones. That's why I said I was intrigued. The same situation can give rise to all kinds of different assumptions. But that is all they are, assumptions based on gut feelings. Interesting to read what you have to say, lulu, about insurance in the UK. In my parents' part of the UK and where I lived up north, the assumption would be kids taking without consent and going on a spree. Just goes to show what you can learn through DC.


----------



## lulu

LOL, its amazing what you find out here!

Joyriding is a sad fact of life in UK....but I think insurance is a bigger problem.  well, I suppose all joy riders are driving without (relevant) insurance too.  

Drives me mad in court when this is considered an "incidental" crime, the insurance thing is not taken as seriously as the theft of the car, or the accident it caused, or the other crime....eg getaway vehicle.  Its that which has pushed UK insurance premiums so sky high and England such a cripplingly expensive place for normal law abiding people....sorry...I'll need to vent if I hink abou this any longer!


----------



## expatgirl

My son had 2 minor run-ins (not his fault by police reports) and one traffic violation (going 20 mph over the limit-) and our insurance company dropped him from our regular policy. (Even the agent was apologetic)  He is not allowed to drive any of the other cars and his individual policy is costing a fortune.  He pays most of it himself but can't afford all of it.  I can see why there are many uninsured drivers out there!!


----------



## shpj4

Thank all of you for your warm replies.  Life goes on but when I tried to take Jolie out for a ride this morning in her soft carrier she started screaming when I put her in the car.

That was the best thing because as they say "You Have To Get Back On The Horse."  We drove around for about an hour and she is fine now.

I still can't believe that there is a big hole in my bumper.

Again thanks all of you for your genuine concern.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Losing IT*

Going crazy with the phone problem.  Please PRAY for ME that I keep my sanity.


----------



## shpj4

Jan I was stopped at a red light going West.The light was green crossing in front of me and the man in the red truck either lost control of his car because instead of going straight he turned toward my car and smashed the bumper.  He then backed up and speeded on so I couldn't get his license plate.

When the light turned green for me I managed to get over to the side and stopped.  The nice man that was next to me got out of his car and wanted to know if I was okay.  He said that the guy could have lost control, was drunk because he was weaving when he hit me, or was on some kinds of drugs.  We both were sure that he didn't have any insurance.

In order to get Car Insurance in California when you register your car with the Department Of Motor Vehicles you must show identification that you have insurance.  Apparently the system isn't working because there are so many drivers out there without insurance.


----------



## Snoop Puss

Hello shpj4, what an awful experience all round. Glad to hear you and Jolie are still able to drive around OK. We once had an accident with a cat in the car: it took him ages to get over it. He obviously thought we were to blame. Hope you manage to get your bumper fixed without too much expense.


----------



## Half Baked

I sure am glad that you and Jolie are not hurt. I'm glad you been able to encourage her back into the car with you.  Sounds like she was really scared.


----------



## ronjohn55

Was working on the house Friday night. My SIL and her good for nothing freeloader husband show up UNANNOUNCED to spend the weekend (My FIL and MIL were due in the next day - FIL was going to help me hang some molding and lights). 

My wife was fine with it. I was not. We had no room, the house was a disaster, and then the jack@@@ has the nerve to tell us we need to do something about our dog because his allergies were going nuts! I made it completely clear to everyone within earshot that if someone needed to leave to clear up his allergies, it was NOT going to be my dog. 

Everyone left yesterday, and I made it clear to my wife that while family is always welcome, anyone who shows up unannounced from now on will get the "Glad to see you, Econo Lodge is just up the road" treatment!  

Good thing we have lot's of paint at the house, as I'm sure I blistered it off of a couple of walls. 

John


----------



## Snoop Puss

ronjohn55, that is pretty bad, turning up unannounced and expecting to be able to stay. Next time they come, tell them you're on a really strict diet. One meal of water, bean sprouts and tofu dressed with soya sauce and they'll be off!


----------



## Alix

Woo. Ronjohn, I think all things considered you were pretty gentle.


----------



## pdswife

Mom has a habit of doing the same thing ronjohn.  Drives me nuts. I finally told her I need two weeks notice.  EEK!  Haven't had a visit since.


----------



## lulu

Yes, its not unfamiliar scenario to me too.  The animal "allergy" with my inlaws is actually intolerance and a way of trying to annoy me.  And then there are the arguements about smoking in the house....

Most annoying was this summer, four days notice, but we had a party which we had to cancel (no way was my sil going to be rude to MY friends, lol) and a dinner party.  The unannounced visit was reason number one for accepting a posting in Italy and leaving London, italy being even further from NYC, lol!


----------



## kitchenelf

I hate, hate, hate, bringing in my courtyard plants - I should have done it before it got really cold - now that the dirt is warming up these big fat spiders are coming out - NASTY!!!!  My fault though - and I do it every year.  It's tradition when they call for the first freeze!  lol  Except this year my son isn't here to help me bring in the really big ones - waiting for DH to come home!


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Drain Backed UP!*

Last night made my first trip down to the basement.  Don't know why sooner! But noticed horrible smell.  Sure enough the drain was backed up and cannot believe what I had to clean up.  when the drain backs up, is it only from your drain or could it be your neighbors mess you have to clean up?  It is raining and we needed the rain and now it won't stop.  I called the drain man and feel bad he has to work in this mess.  I at least cleaned the opening in the basement which was a shock.  It must have happened sometime yesterday because I was down there night before.  What an absolute mess.  Someone said to pour Clorox down there once a month.  Just  st ar ted putting it into practice and now this happens.  I do appreciate someone who can stop this from continuing to back up.


----------



## pdswife

So so so icky!  Sorry!!!!!  Yuck!!!


----------



## In the Kitchen

*pdswife*

bet you been through this before, right?  You described exactly what it looked like!  Hope the toilet flushes it out in the drain.  Too many have to use the pot.  They don't want to mess with it.  Since I find it it is up to me to take care of it.  Such sweet considerate men.


----------



## pdswife

Nope!  And I think it's something I can live with out.  I saw the inside of a septic tank once and that was close enough.

Good luck with getting it cleaned QUICKLY!!!!


----------



## crewsk

OK, it has been a wonderful day so why am I having to vent? I'll tell you! I just got home from church & lunch with my parents & I had a huge box of halloween candy to get out of the trunk of my car. Well, I leaned in the trunk without making sure it was open all the way & whamed my head on the latch. I literally saw stars & black spots for about a miunte. Now I have a lump on the side of my head & a headache!!


----------



## pdswife

OUCH!!  Ice and and afternoon of relaxing on the couch should be the plan for the day.  Take care.


----------



## Snoop Puss

Oh, I hate things like that. They hurt beyond any bounds of reasonableness. Time for everyone else to give you a lot of TLC.


----------



## crewsk

Thankd pds & Snoop! I tried to take a nap but between the dog chasing the kitten, the phone ringing, the wind blowing the witch around on my front door, & the kid from down the stree coming & ringing the doorbell to see if TC could come out to play, it didn't happen! My head is feeling better though, it just hurts if I touch it now & the headache is just a dull pain.


----------



## wasabi

*One of my favorite groups is the Rolling Stones. DH bought tickets to their concert in November for my birthday. The concert was just cancelled. *


----------



## Alix

Oh crap! How come?


----------



## Reanie525i

*I agree thats terrible*

I understand how it is to be let down for your birthday!!!! Hopefully the someone special in your life will make the day so special that you will not  even  miss THE STONES!!!!!


----------



## wasabi

That as very sweet of you to say. Thank you


----------



## wasabi

Alix said:
			
		

> Oh crap! How come?





> "The Rolling Stones have been advised to take four days off from their A Bigger Bang world tour in order for singer Mick Jagger to properly recover from recent throat problems," the Web site stated. (From the Hawaii Channel.com)



*I'm growing old along with Mick, so I understand. But the old guys can still rock!*


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Tina!!!!*

wasabi I'm growing old along with Mick, so I understand. But the old guys can still rock!

What do you think of 'Tina"?  I don't think the 'kids' today can do the moves she does!  And would you check out her legs?  Goes to show, you don't move you lose it.  She has always been someone who made me get up and move.  I miss her.  I bet she still moves everyday.

My brother always reminds me that people should be ironed everyday.  Just like clothes they wrinkle easy.


----------



## Chief Longwind Of The North

Pet peeve of the day, people who snub other people.  One group of kids declined to come to our house laast night while trick-or-treating.  They were overheard saying to their parents, "We don't want to go to that house."

Maybe our porch was too well decorated, or the lighted path with Holloween orange mini-lights made them think we weren't home. 

And the decorations were fun, not too spooky.  I guess the fake skeletons hangning from or poplanter pole in the front yard scared them off.  I hate being snubbed, and by complete strangers at that.

I don't have any idea why this bothers me today.  It just does.  I put a lot of time decorating the yard to make holloween a treat for those who show up at our door.  And I give full-sized candy bars.  I love making people smile, especially kids.

I did have to laugh at one group of kids who showed up at the door.  They didn't yell trick or treat.  When asked why, the oldest boy said that it was because last year, when they yelled trick or treat, they got sprayed with silly string along with getting there candy.  I guess they didn't like that.  But their parents found it hillarious.  I won't use silly string again.  Seems the kids just want the treat, not the trick, even if it's a harmless trick.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


----------



## kitchenelf

I can't believe they said that goodweed!!!  They don't deserve the treat that's for sure.  

That's a GREAT "trick" - funny they remembered!  lol  I didn't do anything this year - I've spent way too much on candy in the past years and a couple kids say "is this all we get'?  Each kid gets about 6 pieces - is that not enough?  So this year I went out to dinner!  It was GOOD too - tapas night! 

Maybe I didn't give out candy last year either - I don't think I did - I'm just "over it" I guess.


----------



## Snoop Puss

Now that's interesting. Have I understood rightly about trick or treat, that the kids are given either a trick or a treat?

When I lived in Britain, trick or treat was just starting to take off. The whole business was very threatening even then. Basically it boiled down to kids demanding a treat or else they'd give you a trick. The tricks were mostly a total nuisance - eggs thrown at your windows or car, that kind of thing. I remember one evening we had human excrement wrapped in newspaper placed on our doorstep and set on fire. Fortunately, I was so shocked I shut the door and went to find a fire extinguisher rather than doing what one would ordinarily do with a flaming newspaper, stamp it out.


----------



## kitchenelf

Everyone gets treats as a rule - or if they are tricked they still get a treat.


----------



## Reanie525i

New Vent - I have gone nuts trying to get on this site today - anyone else having problems???


----------



## wasabi

I think we all did. They're working on it.


----------



## kadesma

Reanie525i said:
			
		

> New Vent - I have gone nuts trying to get on this site today - anyone else having problems???


We all have Reanie, 
Andy is working on it for us. He tried several weeks ago and will do so again in the near future. Hang in there with us and soon things will be running smoothly.
kadesma


----------



## Reanie525i

Thanks!!!! Was not sure if it was just my old run down pc!!! BUT as they say, "Good things are worth waiting for"


----------



## lulu

I lost my "o" on this keyboard.  I have kind of balanced it over the place where it should be, and everytine I think it has clicked into place it pops off again.  Does any one have any idea how many times you type "o" whn talking about cOOking and fOOd, lOl.


----------



## buckytom

oh pooh! sorry to hear that looloo. that's a big oops, isn't it?  kinda like elmer fudd losing the "w"?

my vent today is that i was just sssshhhh'd by katie couric. 
i was working in a clock on one of the producers consoles, while katie was borrowing the phone on the next desk. a co-worker and i were talking over the problem, i was under the console, he was pulling on the cable from above. apparently, we became too loud for ms. couric.


----------



## Alix

buckytom said:
			
		

> my vent today is that i was just sssshhhh'd by katie couric.


 
Did you mess with her clock then? I think I would have.


----------



## buckytom

lol alix. no, i couldn't mess with it. every clock in our building has to be precise, to the second.

she wasn't mean about it. it was like being told to shut up by a pixie.


----------



## Alix

buckytom said:
			
		

> lol alix. no, i couldn't mess with it. every clock in our building has to be precise, to the second.
> 
> she wasn't mean about it. it was like being told to shut up by a pixie.


 
LMAO at the pixie image. Was the clock above her desk or sitting on it? Just wondering if it could be rigged to fall on her desk and scare the beejeebers out of her later.


----------



## kitchenelf

You're evil Alix - I've never seen that side of you before!    Buckytom likes to put food on the table and pay bills!!


----------



## Alix

kitchenelf said:
			
		

> You're evil Alix - I've never seen that side of you before!  Buckytom likes to put food on the table and pay bills!!


 
You HAVEN'T???? I'll work harder to make sure you see it. MWA HA HA HA HA!!


----------



## Chief Longwind Of The North

Alix said:
			
		

> You HAVEN'T???? I'll work harder to make sure you see it. MWA HA HA HA HA!!


 
Hey!  That's my laugh! (see MudBug's Hot Tub shenanigans) 

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


----------



## Alix

@#$$%$%#!!!!! I hate snow covered ice. I wiped out TWICE today and my elbow is sporting a lovely bruise.   Phooey!


----------



## jkath

I'm sorry about your bruise, Alix....I hear hot chocolate, drunk twice a day for a week will cure it. 

I will vent about the weather too. It's supposed to be 81 tomorrow. Yuck. This is supposed to be Autumn! We're supposed to be able to wear sweaters!


----------



## Katie H

jkath said:
			
		

> I'm sorry about your bruise, Alix....I hear hot chocolate, drunk twice a day for a week will cure it.
> 
> I will vent about the weather too. It's supposed to be 81 tomorrow. Yuck. This is supposed to be Autumn! We're supposed to be able to wear sweaters!



Hmmm.  I endorse the hot chocolate twice a day, but it should be followed by a good serving of Godiva truffles in between.  Or, if you don't have Godiva chocolates, you can use Godiva seeds...M&Ms.  But you'll need them in greater quantity more often.

Well, jkath, we can give you some fall weather.  It's been about 50 degrees here most days, with 30s to 40s at night.  This is about right, yes?


----------



## Chief Longwind Of The North

Alix, Sault Ste. Marie now looks like that picture you posted. We've got about 4 inches on the ground now. The roads are icy and I'm replacing nearly bald tires (the front 2 first) on Tuesday, or Wednsday. But this isn't here for good. We're supposed to get up into the high 40's for the next few days and all the white stuff will be gone for a breif period.

About that falling stuff. I have a great deal of experience in that department. I've been hit by a car while riding a motorcycle, driven off a 30 foot cliff on that same machine, fallen from trees, accidentally stepped off of a 2 story roof, twice in the same day, and the list goes on. Oh, and my feet have left the ground due to that snow-covered-ice condition you just experienced.

What kept me from getting hurt in all of those situations (never had more than a bruise from any of them), was the learned ability to fall properly. I was involved in Judo, and in Kuk Sul Won, both of which teach falling and tumbliing techniques. Especially the Judo training, drilled into us the ability to fall properly at every session until it became a natural response whenever the need arises. And there are multiple techniques to handle whatever type of fall you might encounter, be it falling frontwards, backwards, on your side, head-first, feet first, etc. And the correct response becomes automatic.

I highly recomend participation in Judo, Kuk Sool Won, or any marshal art technique that teaches falling skills. It may save you life. It has certainly saved mine over the years. And here's the best part. My eldest son, who is now 26, fell out of a two story window at the age of 2. He'd climbed a chair and while gazing out of a screend window, pushed the screen out and plumeted 1 and 1/2 stories to sun-baked clay and large rocks. I had been teaching him falling techniques for about 2 months before that. I'm convinced, as was the doctor, that those learned techniques saved his life. From the abrasions on his arms, it looked like he used the front-fall technique. and he suffered no injuries from the fall.  

I am absolutely sold on knowing how to fall.  It prevents injury and makes the incident far less painful.

My youngest sister took a tumble without knowing how to fall, and broke her elbow. I've never broken a bone, nor have any of my children (4 of them who did crazy things as kids, like falling out of trees, riding bicycles off of the tops of gravel pits and "flying" 30 feet or more until they landed on the sand wall, and all sorts of things to drive a parent crazy.

If you don't want to get into such a class, that's your choice, and you are certainly entitled to it. But if you have young ones, I beleive that it is an injustice not to give them those skills. But of course, that is my personal opinion.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


----------



## Alix

Goodweed, I'm well versed in how to fall (having done it a LOT, also have several black belts, 3 senseis and one sifu in the family) HOWEVER, I don't believe I mentioned that I fell stepping out of my van. I didn't even get my second foot planted and I smashed my elbow in the running board of the van. Trust me, no amount of martial arts training in how to fall is going to help you in THAT situation. 

Thanks for the "prescription" ladies. I have to be honest, there is enough chocolate in my house right now to kill an army of diabetics several times over. LOL, no Godiva though, I'll stick with my M&M's for now.

Does this ever happen to you? You absolutely smash the crud out of yourself, get a mark for a short time and then nothing. No bruise, no swelling no mark at all! It still hurts like a son of a gun but you have nothing to show for it. And then you have the mystery bruises that show up and you have no clue where they came from? Weird.


----------



## licia

Alix, I've learned to just slide out of dh's truck. It is much easier than finding the foodboard for me. I hold on to the grab thing at the top and just slide down. I try not to wear a skirt or dress if I'm riding in the truck.


----------



## kitchenelf

OH Alix!  I just read this.  OUCH!!!!  An elbow REALLY hurts too!  Lock yourself in the bathroom with a nice hot smell-good bubblebath, a nice glass of Merlot, and a box of chocolates....and lots of candles...and your computer so we can still chat - but NO webcam!


----------



## lulu

I slide out of cabs in lorries too....I used to have a 7 and half tonne horse box that was over weight before any of the horses got in it, lol, and would get out just how you describe licia....only I often did it in mini skirts, lol.  Two things I want to do in my life, get my HGV driving licence and learn to fly a helicopter.  DH thinks I am mad.  I might think about Goodweeds idea of "learning to fall".  I sure could do with that.  Maybe if I stay well I'll enrole in a gentle beginners martial arts class....whats the easiest for a defunct body Goodweed?

Anyway, hope your elbow feel better soon Alix....you poor thing   Take care on the ice!!!!


----------



## licia

My mother raised 7 kids without any of us having a broken bone, so I suppose we knew how to fall (without realizing it) but I've taken a few nasty falls that hurt. I think some of them may be the reason I have arthritis now. I've had to remind myself that I don't have to go like I'm going to a fire always. It is possible to slow down and still get where I'm going and in one piece with no bruises. I'm more careful now than in the past.


----------



## FraidKnot

You *really* don't want me to vent right now.  Lots going on in my life, none of which is really a good thing!  Let's just say, thanks for the opportunity!  

Fraidy


----------



## kitchenelf

oooooooooo - that all doesn't sound good Fraid!!!!  Hope things even out VERY soon!


----------



## TATTRAT

I wish that I could use explatives here...


----------



## licia

Sometimes just knowing you COULD is enough to make one feel better - takes the pressure off. Hope everything is better very soon. We are all there at one time or another.


----------



## buckytom

ditto on what tatt and fraidy said. in fact, i probably won't be around here for a while, because of it.

'bug, i'll pm you about thanksgiving. i hope we're still on. i wouldn't pass that up.


----------



## ronjohn55

Yikes!

I wonder if it's just the time of year or something. Go ahead and add me to the "lots of bad crap going on" list, too!

Oh well, at least I'm cynical enough to enjoy it these days...

John


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Perfect Description*



			
				ronjohn55 said:
			
		

> Yikes!
> 
> I wonder if it's just the time of year or something. Go ahead and add me to the "lots of bad crap going on" list, too!
> 
> Oh well, at least I'm cynical enough to enjoy it these days...
> 
> John


You described it perfectly how my days are here.  One thing right after another.  But like someone told me that is life.  You have to pay to live. Do you think it is time of year?  Everything backing up or quit working.  Can't save anymore all gone.  This morning found nail in my tire.  Since it isn't in the tread have to buy new one.  Just what I need.  

John, reading your comments is encouraging.  At least I don't feel alone.  Thanks for sharing.  I feel your pain.


----------



## Chief Longwind Of The North

Wow!  Don't give up the ship just yet, everyone.  Things will get better.  And we can use each other for support.  B.T., life is a series of ups and downs, all thrown together, and sometimes at a pace that seems just too fast to handle.  But just when things seem to be at their worst, we always seem to come up with an answer, or something happens to break the tension, or an unexpected bit of help arrives just in the nick of time.

Yes, the holidays do bring with them stress.  But the successful execution of plans and the helter/skelter organization that moves us forward make all of the efforts justified, especially when we see the freinds, and most importantly, family realize the deserts of our labors.

We on this site have untapped strengths and talents.  We have to dig deep into our resevoirs of those strengths and talents.  And when we do, we are often amazed at what we can accomplish.

The only people who ever fail, are those who give up.

Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


----------



## Katie H

Goodweed of the North said:
			
		

> Wow!  Don't give up the ship just yet, everyone.  Things will get better.  And we can use each other for support.  B.T., life is a series of ups and downs, all thrown together, and sometimes at a pace that seems just too fast to handle.  But just when things seem to be at their worst, we always seem to come up with an answer, or something happens to break the tension, or an unexpected bit of help arrives just in the nick of time.
> 
> Yes, the holidays do bring with them stress.  But the successful execution of plans and the helter/skelter organization that moves us forward make all of the efforts justified, especially when we see the freinds, and most importantly, family realize the deserts of our labors.
> 
> We on this site have untapped strengths and talents.  We have to dig deep into our resevoirs of those strengths and talents.  And when we do, we are often amazed at what we can accomplish.
> 
> The only people who ever fail, are those who give up.
> 
> Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North



I completely agree with you G'weed.  And I'll add that, for some reason, when negative things happen, they seem to happen is bunches, which only makes the stress greater and our natural manner to want to crawl under a rock.  Many times I've felt like I was wading through knee-deep cold molasses.  And as you said Goodweed, like magic, the answer or some help comes along.

I've always been a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.  Sometimes we may never learn the reason. Or if we do find out why something happens, we may not like the reason.  That's just what _is._  And, finally, it may take years and years to discover out why something happened.

In the wise words of my mother-in-law, "This, too, shall pass."

Hey, everyone, just keep on keepin' on.  DC is a wonderful place that offers support and safe haven.


----------



## ronjohn55

Goodweed of the North said:
			
		

> The only people who ever fail, are those who give up.


 
No worries GW - The only thing my parents ever refused to teach me or let me learn was how to give up. As a result, as annoying as it can be at times in my life, I simply refuse to give up. Just don't know how to do it. 

And like I said, at least the cynic in me gets to shine during times like this!
(And boy, can he ever be a grade A you-know-what!)  

John


----------



## lulu

Ditto...many, many frustrations right now.  Hasving failed to sell my dear little car (which I am secretly quite pleased about, but DH mustn't know that) I have spent all day trying to get UK insurance that will give me coverage in Italy.....the EU was at least meant to make that kind of thing easier, but NO...90 days is the maximum I have found so far.  THEN booked Matthew (my car) in to have sat nav and a towbar fitted only to be told I cannot have a tow bar on my model of car....

I gues that I just have to try and travel even lighter...but I can't drive home to England every 90 days to reinsure....


----------



## crewsk

The biggest thing that hubby & I are dealing with will be over on Nov. 26!!!  But because of this roadblock in our lives, it has caused a lot of heartache, disappointment, & frayed nerves for the past 6 months. It'll take a while for all those things to heal completely. I'm still in shock that something like this could have happened to my hubby, whom I trust & love completely. I know you all have no idea what I'm talking about but it feels good just to get this much out. 

There are many other frustrations in my life right now.....for instance hubby's raise that he was suppsed to get 2 paychecks ago still hasen't been seen. They keep telling him it's in the system but for some reason it's not getting put in his check!!  I wanna know why dang it!!!


----------



## texasgirl

It doesn't matter who understands what your saying, crewsk. Let it out!!!
As for the paycheck, that really sucks!!!


----------



## bullseye

crewsk said:
			
		

> The biggest thing that hubby & I are dealing with will be over on Nov. 26!!!  But because of this roadblock in our lives, it has caused a lot of heartache, disappointment, & frayed nerves for the past 6 months. It'll take a while for all those things to heal completely. I'm still in shock that something like this could have happened to my hubby, whom I trust & love completely. I know you all have no idea what I'm talking about but it feels good just to get this much out.
> 
> There are many other frustrations in my life right now.....for instance hubby's raise that he was suppsed to get 2 paychecks ago still hasen't been seen. They keep telling him it's in the system but for some reason it's not getting put in his check!!  I wanna know why dang it!!!


 Sympathies, Crewsk.  I don't know what you're dealing with, but I know what it is to go through trying times.  It must be some consolation that there will be an end to the strife and a point at which the healing can begin.  I envy the trust and faith you and dh have.  As far as the paycheck thing goes, when life deals you lemons, whip them at the comptroller!  Only the best thoughts your way, and hang in there!

Mick


----------



## Alix

OK everyone we all need a stress reliever, off to the hot tub!!


And repeat after me.

"I'M MAD AS HECK AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!!"


----------



## Chief Longwind Of The North

Crewsk;  I know you've had some tough times in the past year or so.  I don't know what they are, and don't need to.  But I do know who you are and what kind of person you are.  And I know that you and your family with weather this storm.  

You have a great heart, and a wonderful outlook on life.  Trust in your DH, and in your kids, and most importantly, in yourself.  You are one of the great ones.  That little saying at the end of each of your posts says all I need to know about you.

If you ever need someone to talk to, or even to unload on, you can always pm me.  Or if you don't want to go that route, the whole of DC is behind you.  Keep your chin up.

Seeeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


----------



## wasabi

Goodweed, well said.


----------



## kadesma

_crewsk,_
_One of the wonderful things about this place we gather, is the love and kindness we find from our fellow members. I can now face many things, knowing that if they begin to overwhelm, I can come here, talk to all of you and find help, kindness and many shoulders to lean on. I don't even have to say why or what is bothering me just that I'm upset of sad and someone immediagely comes to hold my hand. You know that is what we all want to do for you..Pm us, or just hold our your hand..anyone of us will come running..Stand tall and proud, your family loves you and this to shall fade away._

_kadesma_


----------



## crewsk

Thank you all for your kind words & friendship, it means more to me than I can ever put into words! I know that I can always come here when I need a shoulder, an ear, or anything else. You all are very special to me & have helped me more than you will ever know. TC & Savannah (my children for those who do not know), have been a great source of strength for me even though they don't fully know it. Thank you all again, I am honored to call you all friends! I love you all!


----------



## Dove

And we love you crewsk..Chin up girl...you will find a way to get through this.
Love
Marge and DC


----------



## licia

Crewsk, so sorry things aren't ok, but soon it will be much better. We all have times that we'd like to forget and go on with our lives and you will too. Best wishes to you and the family. If you ever do get to the point you understand dh, let the rest of us know!


----------



## Reanie525i

Crewsk - So sorry to hear things are rough right now - You have alot of support and I hope this helps - If there is anything we can do to help please let us know - Will pray for you and your family...


----------



## lulu

I won't go into it, but the above about sums it up.


----------



## kadesma

lulu said:
			
		

> I won't go into it, but the above about sums it up.


Ah ha,
I know that feeling!!! It soesn't matter what is wrong, just that something is. Do something that gives YOU pleasure and forget the other junk. Smile, it's a wonderful day.

kadesma


----------



## SierraCook

This morning I woke up to no water in the house.  A pipe broke down the street and the water had been turned off to fix it.  No shower, no coffee, etc.  Actually, I made coffee using my emergency water that I keep on hand for when the power goes out.  The water is back on now.


----------



## Alix

SierraCook said:
			
		

> This morning I woke up to no water in the house. No shower, no coffee, etc.


 
OH MY GOSH! That would send me into a tailspin. UGH! Glad its solved now. WHEW!


----------



## Reanie525i

lulu said:
			
		

> I won't go into it, but the above about sums it up.


 I am having the same thoughts and feelings - wish they would go away and things would just move on like I want them too - Have alot of things on my mind and a choice with no true options that are right - either way it is a no win situation


----------



## lulu

Oh dear Reanie.  Thats how I feel too.  I hope your situation resolves quickly.  I think mine is a matter of time, but its frustrating and infuriating.


----------



## licia

I don't usually post here about my own troubles, but I am either mad or sick at heart and don't know which.  My grandaughter's car was stolen out of her parking place at her apartment. We don't know anything yet except that it is gone. Dh is on his way to be with her. She is a single mother of a 7 year old boy and her ex doesn't pay her squat most of the time.  I'm about to see red!!


----------



## Reanie525i

licia said:
			
		

> I don't usually post here about my own troubles, but I am either mad or sick at heart and don't know which. My grandaughter's car was stolen out of her parking place at her apartment. We don't know anything yet except that it is gone. Dh is on his way to be with her. She is a single mother of a 7 year old boy and her ex doesn't pay her squat most of the time. I'm about to see red!!


 Hope everything turns out for her. Please keep us posted on the car and Thank God that she and her son are OK and were not near the car at the time.


----------



## Reanie525i

lulu said:
			
		

> Oh dear Reanie. Thats how I feel too. I hope your situation resolves quickly. I think mine is a matter of time, but its frustrating and infuriating.


 . Thank you - This post from you has me feeling a little better already - I just hate this state of limbo!!!!! Frustrating is an understatement!!


----------



## lulu

Tell me about limbo!  DH went to Milano in July/August, I am still here trying to sort everythig out.  I thought I was leaving this week to drive over well in time for holidays, but everything has gone pear shaped as regards my insurance etc.  Everything has been a nightmare.  I am a EU passport holder, its an EU country, it is meant to be easy, but it really has not been.  It all comes down to the bloody car!  I could leave tomorrow if I could get European car insurance..... the waiting id not feel so bad when it was movers, or residency or finding a flat etc, but the fact that a piece of paper comes between it all (and trying to avoid very expensive re registration of my car) is painful.  Actually painful.


----------



## Reanie525i

Hate the red tape myself. Maybe someone on here knows something that would help. I think we need a " Get out of limbo" card!!!


----------



## SierraCook

It is very windy tonight and I hate it.  I probably won't hardly sleep at all tonight because it keeps me awake.  I wish my dog was here to keep me company, but my parents took him with them on vacation to the coast.  Maybe I will sleep on the couch in the living room which is a quieter room than my bedroom.


----------



## kadesma

licia said:
			
		

> I don't usually post here about my own troubles, but I am either mad or sick at heart and don't know which. My grandaughter's car was stolen out of her parking place at her apartment. We don't know anything yet except that it is gone. Dh is on his way to be with her. She is a single mother of a 7 year old boy and her ex doesn't pay her squat most of the time. I'm about to see red!!


licia,
i'm so sorry,what a horrid thing to happen.I don't blame you for being angry, I'd be so angry i'd be throwing things. As hard as it is we can handle things that happen to us, but, our kids and grandkids, never..I hope things turn round quickly. Thank goodness her dad is with them,I hope this gives you some ease knowing they will be looked after. Hugs to you all.
kadesma


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Your Thoughts????*

Recently I have received three monthly bills that were past due.  This affects my budget.  I sure don't check  to see if I get these bills to know that they weren't paid!  Beside the drain backing up, furnace stop working, oven of stove needed ignitor replaced, etc.  these bills are double.  Also all of our cars had roofing nails in them.  One could be repaired others needed new tires.  My question:  my neighbor who I have had tough time coping with, do you think she could have something to do with this?  Her kids, 28 and 30 always throw trash on my property when they leave.  I just   wonder if the nails came from them and if when they receive my mail just throw it away.  This neighbor has no worries that money cannot fix.  I do not resent her remodeling her house every 5 years but leave me alone.  The police who I have called to have them move their cars so I could leave my house, have told me to just ignore them completely.  They said it is quite clear they are trying to make problems for you.  This is a form of entertainment to them.  Having all this happen this past  month really makes me upset.  We are planning on putting up a camera to see if we can find proof.  Isn't this ridiculous?  Before they moved there wasn't this crazy stuff.  Makes me wonder from day to day what they will think up next.  

I called the post office and they  think I am crazy too.  How can you be normal in odd world like this?  Honest people are not in st yle anymore.

Thanks for your thoughts and time.  What would you do?  Trying to be nice doesn't work, they only get worse.  'Turning the other cheek gets old'


----------



## licia

We are getting calls from the hospital where we had our colonoscopies in JULY.  Our copay is $150 which we paid and the insurance says "don't pay anymore", however we keep getting calls saying we each owe $100 more. I really don't know what to do about this. The insurance company says we have paid all we are supposed to and we are afraid the hospital collectors will put this on our credit record.  I HATE dealing with these people! If I hear from them once more I'm going to call the Insurance Commissioner for our state and see what gives.


----------



## lulu

In The Kitchen, you poor soul.  Neighbour problem is dire.  In UK I am sure their actions would be tantamount to harassment and prosecutable!  You know, as awful as it feels I would get extremely hidden CCTV installed.  SOme very affordable systems are available and if you  can get proof you can sort it out.

Licia, can the hosiptal not sent a breakdown of what they believe you have paid?  Then you can see if they have recorded all of your payment and the insurance company's payment.  It could just be a clerical error with any luck.


----------



## Half Baked

Inthekithen, can you get a restraining order and then if you catch them doing anything it is a REAL prosecuteable problem for them.

Licia, I'm having problems with a hospital too.  My insurance pays 100% but they are always late.  I have a warning letter from the hospital now.

I'm venting about not being able to get well.  I've been sick for 2 weeks, coughing, gunk in my chest, miserable nights, sore throat, my ears hurt from fluid and I can't get better.  I'm on very powerful antibiotics and they don't seem to be helping.  I'm weak as a kitten and so very tired all the time.....omg, what if I have mono?   I need to call my doctor.


----------



## Snoop Puss

Inthekitchen, it's not ideal but maybe you could get a PO Box and have official bodies and companies send mail there. It's a nuisance going to get the mail every now and then but at least you'd be sure to get it. As for what action to take, that's not easy to decide, especially when you have to live next door to them. Film footage or photos would back up any case you might want to make, but doing much more than that might exacerbate the situation. Judging by your post, they're obviously far more willing to get nasty than you are. You do x, they will do x twice over. I hope this doesn't sound unsympathetic - it's just the voice of a very bad experience. I know how hard it is to have to deal with difficult neighbours. You have my every sympathy.

Lulu, check your existing insurance. You might find you're insured to drive in Italy under your existing policy for a short while, though the insurance will probably only be third party. Plus, try Direct Line. They provide long-term cover for UK drivers here in Spain. As far as I know, they do the same for Italy. And if that doesn't work, you might even find it cheaper to buy a second-hand car there rather than registering yours.


----------



## Alix

Holy cow, everyone is having a rough go of it lately. My sympathies to you all.



> I'm venting about not being able to get well. I've been sick for 2 weeks, coughing, gunk in my chest, miserable nights, sore throat, my ears hurt from fluid and I can't get better. I'm on very powerful antibiotics and they don't seem to be helping. I'm weak as a kitten and so very tired all the time.....omg, what if I have mono?  I need to call my doctor.


 
HalfBaked, you likely have the flu, which is a virus. So the antibiotics won't do a dang thing.
It took me the better part of a month to get better and I am usually a pretty quick healer. My Dr gave me T3's to help me sleep at night but told me absolutely NOT to take them in the day. You need to cough and try to get the guck out of your lungs or you could end up with pneumonia. Try getting a little pillow and bracing it against your body when you cough. That helps a bit. I doubt you have mono as you would not be able to swallow even your own saliva without a great deal of pain. You DO have a particularly ugly virus though. Fluids and rest is all you can do. Crappy but true. Hugs to you and a prayer that you get well soon.


----------



## lulu

Snoop Puss said:
			
		

> ILulu, check your existing insurance. You might find you're insured to drive in Italy under your existing policy for a short while, though the insurance will probably only be third party. Plus, try Direct Line. They provide long-term cover for UK drivers here in Spain. As far as I know, they do the same for Italy. And if that doesn't work, you might even find it cheaper to buy a second-hand car there rather than registering yours.



Oh, dear, I AM direct line, but I got three points this year (I have three points expiring in December) and because that makes 6 for a crossover of two months they will not reinsure me. As it stands I get thirty days in Italy! The pain of it is I wasn't speeding the second time, but I thought I would accept them rather than make a fuss, how stupid was that...its just we had so much on between here and Italy!  And I have been trying to sell my car to re buy, but noone even came to look at it, it was in the motor press for five weeks, not one call!  And I advertised it at 1500 under the list price! Other wise, both very sensible ideas! Thanks for the thought Snoop!


----------



## In the Kitchen

*No Fun*



			
				Half Baked said:
			
		

> Inthekithen, can you get a restraining order and then if you catch them doing anything it is a REAL prosecuteable problem for them.
> 
> Licia, I'm having problems with a hospital too.  My insurance pays 100% but they are always late.  I have a warning letter from the hospital now.
> 
> I'm venting about not being able to get well.  I've been sick for 2 weeks, coughing, gunk in my chest, miserable nights, sore throat, my ears hurt from fluid and I can't get better.  I'm on very powerful antibiotics and they don't seem to be helping.  I'm weak as a kitten and so very tired all the time.....omg, what if I have mono?   I need to call my doctor.



Being sick is something you can't fault anyone about.  My doctor gave me flu shot last time I was there (last week) telling me my immune system is surpressed due to this disability.  so I hope I won't experience what you have.  (knock on wood).  As Alix said you have to get rest and that is the healer no matter what medicines you take.  The body has its own way of getting better and this is the mind as well as the body.

About my trouble, I am praying for help in this circumstance.  Asking for direction.  Have been here long time and to want to leave is sad.  I remember what it 'once was'.  All your suggestions are of great importance to me and I will surely look into all of them to make the necessary changes to get around their intentions.  They just don't have enough worries to think about otherwise they wouldn't do these things.  To torment someone is cruel.  An animal doesn't deserve this abuse.

Thanks for all your time.


----------



## goboenomo

My girlfriend got into some sugar last night and she drove me NUTS!
I was so close to snapping at her.
I'm gonna go home, play some games, and hope, hope! she doesn't have anymore candy.

It was one of those slushies... the liquid sugar stuff you can buy at convenience stores.


----------



## Reanie525i

Just a note to say Thanks - I want to thank all of you for your pm's and words of encouragment and advice about my decision - I have taken the advice, and made my decision - You were right ...I feel better now and at least I am not in limbo anymore - You are like the family I never had!!!!


----------



## Reanie525i

Licia - Any word on the car thief?? How are you and your daughter doing???


----------



## licia

She found the car - it was towed IN ERROR. Their error, but SHE had to provide the papers to get her car back. Indeed we do live in a mixed up world. We MAY have the insurance thing settled also.  I got a notice yesterday that I was being turned over to a collection agency - this after they have called me from 9 am to 8:30 pm (which I think is against the law).The insurance company said we don't owe the hospital a cent more and the hospital representative agreed to call the insurance company and clear the accounts.  WHY do we have to go thru so much trouble at our expense when we aren't at fault? I bet there are many people who pay just to keep from being harrassed, but I'm not one of them. I'm afraid it will only get worse as dh and I get older.


----------



## Reanie525i

licia said:
			
		

> She found the car - it was towed IN ERROR. Their error, but SHE had to provide the papers to get her car back. Indeed we do live in a mixed up world. We MAY have the insurance thing settled also. I got a notice yesterday that I was being turned over to a collection agency - this after they have called me from 9 am to 8:30 pm (which I think is against the law).The insurance company said we don't owe the hospital a cent more and the hospital representative agreed to call the insurance company and clear the accounts. WHY do we have to go thru so much trouble at our expense when we aren't at fault? I bet there are many people who pay just to keep from being harrassed, but I'm not one of them. I'm afraid it will only get worse as dh and I get older.


 So glad to hear that in the end all was well - your right - This is a mixed up world - Thats why we come here  to DC- For a taste of sanity!!!


----------



## lulu

Licia I am SO pleased that these stupid problems have been resolved.  As my mother used to tell me mid-teen tantrum, no one said the world was fair!  It sucks though doesn't it?  I still live in hope that it might turn out to be a fair place!


----------



## Snoop Puss

Hello Licia,
I hope everything gets sorted out. But next time you have a similar situation with the hospital, go on the attack: threaten to sue them for harrassment and tell them you'll be seeking punitive damages for distress.


----------



## Brooksy

Unfortunately I'm not as kind or as calm as you guys. Although my physical condition doesn't allow for a full on old time assault - perpetrators of such things against us don't know that so I get my own back with abuse and intimidation of the physical kind. I do not stop until the tears are flowing against the dirty incompetent mongrels. AND I DON'T CARE.

People don't care how they treat you so I go in all guns blazing and don't stop until tears are flowing by the gallons.

One unwanted debt collector broke his leg whilst exiting our property. It wasn't our debt but he wasn't going without a fight and he got it the dirty low mongrel.

Gutless, incompetent people!! That is what they are, and I hate 'em with a passion.

Don't get upset people. Get angry! Get even! Take it out on them! Refuse point blank to accept anything unless it is in writing. Treat them with the contempt that they've treated you.

It really gives me the S**ts to see good people upset by absolute morons.


----------



## CharlieD

I was flying from NY last night, while there I bought some Russian sardines, of course, I did not think anything of it and put them in my bag. I did not have checked luggage. So they open it and the guy says you can only have 4 cans, darn, I say can my friend have 4 too? The guy lets us do it my friend takes another 4, they threw 2 more away.
 Now my friends’ bag gets opened, he has 8 oz tooth paste tube that is practically empty. “We only allow 3 oz tooth paste tubes!” Huh, it’s empty you moron, it probably had enough tooth paste for one more time. They took that away too. Now you’re telling me we are safe with morons like this. If there was a competition of morons, they would take a second place. Why, you ask, because they are Morons.


----------



## lulu

Charlie you have my sympathy.

I don't MIND the long, long, long, two/three hour queues at small airports to have my passport checked on Eurpean flights right now, I'll submit to most things for my saftey and the safety of others right now, but I do object to waiting patiently in the queue for so many hours to see them flick through and not even open the page with my picture on.

I lost a brand new (too expensive) mascara on my last flight.  I bought it duty free on the way out, and it fell out of my makeup bag, which I had removed to put in my hold luggage.  Used it maybe five times before it was binned.  I don't mind, at all, its saftey.  What did make my cringe was that my pointed tweeszers had fallen out too,  I discovered them on the flight under the base bit of my bag and called a stewardess, explained that it has been an accident and she put her fingers to her lips and winked.  I will never ever, not triple check before the flight again,  I felt so guilty and nervous


----------



## mudbug

shame on losing that expensive mascara, lulu - did they think you were going to overpower them with makeup?

I thought that the deadly tweezers were OK again on flights.


----------



## CharlieD

My MIL bought a botle of parfume, $100.00 bucks they took it away. I mean, safety is fine but there needs to be something reasonable...
 What bothered me about my story was not the fact that they threw away 2 cans, but he fact that they let my friend take some of them. How safe is it? If that was really explosives, that was such a stupid thing to allow us to do... I have no words to describe the stupidity.


----------



## mudbug

Charlie, my brother works for TSA in Chicago.  He is just as amazed at the stupid regulations as you are.


----------



## lulu

My deadly tweezers are the sort that are never allowed....sharpened to a point and about four inches long they would, I suppose, make an effective weapon.  I think a lot of it has been a very effective thing for duty free shops.  You can buy anything you like AIR SIDE and take it on the flight.  That has to be a security risk...I am sure the staff airside go through good security checks, but still.  I know exactly what you mean Charlie.  Also, I took my laptop through and was made to crank it up.  Last time DH brought his it would not start and they just patted him on the back, did not try themselves.

Mudbug, well made up eyes are my weapon of choice, I can get any man eating out of my hand with one flutter of my 30% longer and more defined eyelashed, ROFL


----------



## pdswife

I was rear ended last night!!!
I was coming off the freeway...almost at a complete stop and the girl behind me ( eating salad) and not paying any attention slammed into me.  She hit me hard enough to push me into the truck in front of me.  Luckily, it was a big pickup and I only hit his trailor hitch ball.  No damage to his truck.  My car will have to have both the front grill and both the front and back bumpers replaced.  The poor girls car was ruined though.  I had to feel sorry for her after the first five minutes.

I have a strained leg muscle and my neck and back are kind of sore.  
but...that's to be expected.   

Paul has been wonderful 
I called him and he showed up at the accident about
10 minutes after the state police arrived.   I wanted to go home
but he insisted that I go to the hostpital.  He has also called the insurance people so I didn't have to deal with it!  He takes such good care of me.


----------



## Snoop Puss

Oh my goodness, pdswife. Those kinds of accidents can be awful. Glad to hear you're being well looked after by Paul. Take care of your neck and back.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Positive*

pdswife, your comment starts out so negative and ends positive.  Keep it up!! What kind of car you have?  Must not be one of the new ones cause from the sound of it your car is pretty strong.  That happened to me when the guy reached down on the floor to get his cell phone, bang right into me w/o using his breaks.  My mother in the car.  We had just gone to Farmer's Market and didn't have seat belts on.  My mom was so aware of it that the police were coming she didn't know how to put the belt on so it was hanging around her neck when the police arrived. They didn't say anything about it.  Guess they didn't even worry about seat belt.  

Help me feel positive.  My furnace quit working two weeks ago over weekend.  Guy came that Monday and fixed it and cleaned it.  Now it isn't working again.  Please pray that I don't need new furnace.  I just got through taking a shower and I am freezing.  Can't get warm.  I should get back in the shower again.  

Thanks for understanding.


----------



## pdswife

Kitchen... I've decided that "seeing the good side" is the only way to go. 
I won't have to go to the store alone for awhile, Paul will have to drive me in the truck, my leg hurts so I can take it easy and sit on the comfy chair and read, it's a good excuse for an extra long nap in the afternoon!!

In your case... long showers, extra warm blankies on the bed, hot soups,
you can bake some cookies and sit reading in front of the stove or buy yourself some expensive cocoa that you normally wouldn't.  

oh we have an 2000 Impala. It is big and strong.


----------



## boufa06

pdswife, Perastika!  Good thing you got away lightly.  Keep smiling!


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Appreciate Thoughts*

Doesn't that sound nice to bake cookies and drink cocoa?  You know how to do it!  Really can tell you got love in your house.  I am so thankful to hear that you have good man.  They are important. You must treat him as good as he is to you?  Shame I never found someone who had half the heart your husband does.  You know something, all the guys who I dated named Paul were good.  Is it something about that name?  Even had uncle named Paul who was kind.  

Impala I like them!  No matter the kind of car you had, can be so thankful wasn't worse.  I remember my glasses flying on the dashboard and I didn't know where they were.  You won't forget this one.  I never did.  People try to do too much when they are driving.


----------



## pdswife

This is my first ( and hopefully only) accident!!  I didn't like it at all.  lol... I've had so many dreams of getting rear ended at stop signs that I always stop far behind the car in front of me.  That saved me yesterday, not that I was all the way stopped yet but... close to it.

Yes, I am lucky to have found Paul.  He is a wonderful person.
And I do try to treat him as well as he treats me but... I think I've got the best part of the deal.  He's so good and smart and caring and so hard working and thoughful and sweet and giving and ...ok, I'll stop.
Never give up ITK it's never too late to find love.


----------



## boufa06

In The Kitchen, sorry to hear that you suffered the same fate as pdswife.  These things happen when you least expect them so chin up and look on the bright side of things!  Keep yourself well covered and drink lots of green tea and/or herbal teas.


----------



## pdswife

Boufa, 
don't worry!  I'm smiling!!!

Thanks!!


----------



## kadesma

pdswife said:
			
		

> Kitchen... I've decided that "seeing the good side" is the only way to go.
> I won't have to go to the store alone for awhile, Paul will have to drive me in the truck, my leg hurts so I can take it easy and sit on the comfy chair and read, it's a good excuse for an extra long nap in the afternoon!!
> 
> In your case... long showers, extra warm blankies on the bed, hot soups,
> you can bake some cookies and sit reading in front of the stove or buy yourself some expensive cocoa that you normally wouldn't.
> 
> oh we have an 2000 Impala. It is big and strong.


Wow, hurt like heck doesn't it?  I know had a young woman fly by me going home one day the the minute she got past me she made a u-turn right in fromt of me. With no place to go, except into oncoming traffic I ended up hitting her..The person she was talking to on the cell phone had told her she was going the wrong way so she just turned!! I was lucky as two different people stopped and talk to the police. One was an attorney who was right behind me..Police patted me on the head and said go home and take it easy then that was it. Sore as could be the next several days. All car accidents are horrid and so scary, but at least YOU are not in the hospital and are okay. Rest and take it easy..
hugs,
kadesma


----------



## licia

DH was rear-ended by a young lady talking on her cellphone. She didn't put on her brakes either. Luckily he was in his golf car which is quite old. The auto shop said it would take over $1000 to replace his bumper. The girl was a young single mother with red hair and reminded him so much of our grandaughter, he told her to pay him $300 and that would be fine. She had to pay him in 2 payments. Sometimes he surprises me what an old softie he is. I may keep him another 49 years. Today is our anniversary. It's been quite a ride!


----------



## boufa06

Oh the hazards of cellphones!  Licia, your DH is quite a guy and you should keep him till death do us part.  Happy Anniversary to both of you!


----------



## mudbug

lulu said:
			
		

> Mudbug, well made up eyes are my weapon of choice, I can get any man eating out of my hand with one flutter of my 30% longer and more defined eyelashed, ROFL


----------



## Michelemarie

This is a vent as well as a boo-hoo .  DH and I went appliance shoppping for the better part of yesterday.  Our "find" and our only purchase was a Miele double "true" convection oven.  The sales lady said this came with all the bells and whistles, both ovens self cleaning, double rotisserie, two probes, concealed elements, glass front, six racks - which five can fit in one oven, blah, blah, blah. DH was sold, he wanted this one, by the end of our trip, I was quite excited too. We don't know much about them but from what we do know, we knew it was a  good deal, otherwise we couldn't afford one of these puppies. We bought it with intentions to do a bit more research before delivery next week. The saleslady said we could cancel before delivery if we wanted to.  Late that night we were reading the brochure we had on Miele - we were compairing the two models of double ovens they make - what is the difference? The one we have is not self cleaning   even though that is what we were told. DH knew it was too good to be true - too good of a deal. This is a luxury item and material things mean nothing, but for a couple hours I thought I was going to have the privelage to own a wonderful oven - ahhh, oh well, there is still the hope that the wrong number was used to scan it - I don't think so, though. Sad day in my house today.


----------



## Jikoni

Oh poor you Michelemarie. I don't know how to advice you, but from my experience(we re-did our kitchen last summer) the self cleaning oven we have still needs me to clean it! Everyone here says the self clean can clean, but you have to clean it yourself! I hope the rest of it is great and that it works well as per the deal. Good luck.


----------



## Snoop Puss

Michelemarie said:
			
		

> This is a vent as well as a boo-hoo .  DH and I went appliance shoppping for the better part of yesterday.  Our "find" and our only purchase was a Miele double "true" convection oven.  The sales lady said this came with all the bells and whistles, both ovens self cleaning, double rotisserie, two probes, concealed elements, glass front, six racks - which five can fit in one oven, blah, blah, blah. :




Hello Michelemarie, could you return it on the grounds that it isn't as described by the saleswoman?


----------



## Michelemarie

Oh yes! We were very honest with the sales woman and she assured us we could "return" it before it was delivered next week. I just got off the phone with her and she is doing some checking - I have my fingers crossed that there is a mistake somewhere, but the bottom line is if this beautiful oven is not self cleaning it is not  coming to my house -   . Keep your fingers crossed for me!


----------



## Snoop Puss

If you're really lucky, they'll give you an 'upgrade'. Fingers crossed.


----------



## SizzlininIN

pdswife said:
			
		

> I was rear ended last night!!!
> I was coming off the freeway...almost at a complete stop and the girl behind me ( eating salad) and not paying any attention slammed into me. She hit me hard enough to push me into the truck in front of me. Luckily, it was a big pickup and I only hit his trailor hitch ball. No damage to his truck. My car will have to have both the front grill and both the front and back bumpers replaced. The poor girls car was ruined though. I had to feel sorry for her after the first five minutes.
> 
> I have a strained leg muscle and my neck and back are kind of sore.
> but...that's to be expected.
> 
> Paul has been wonderful
> I called him and he showed up at the accident about
> 10 minutes after the state police arrived. I wanted to go home
> but he insisted that I go to the hostpital. He has also called the insurance people so I didn't have to deal with it! He takes such good care of me.


 
So sorry to hear about this pds!  I know exactly how you feel. Some young kid rear ended my Grand Am GT several years ago......completely totalled it. We were waiting for a train to pass.....thankfully we were a few cars back from the train and we were far enough back from the car in front of us.  All I remember is DH looked in his rearview mirror and said, "Oh XXXX"! and got a firm grip on the steering wheel....and BAM!  We always wear our seatbelts so that prevented some very awful injuries and our youngest was in his car seat.  I was the only one to get injuries and it was just pulled muscles in my back but enough to lay me up for 2 weeks and to have therapy.  I was just thankful no one was seriously injured.  I felt sorry for the boy at first but then became angry for his stupidity.  But then I realized things happen for a reason and to be thankful it wasn't as bad as it could of been.
I hope you heal quickly and am glad Paul is helping you through this.  Heal quickly!  I did learn to have complete and utter sympathy for anyone with back injuries.......its awful.


----------



## SizzlininIN

Michelemarie said:
			
		

> Oh yes! We were very honest with the sales woman and she assured us we could "return" it before it was delivered next week. I just got off the phone with her and she is doing some checking - I have my fingers crossed that there is a mistake somewhere, but the bottom line is if this beautiful oven is not self cleaning it is not coming to my house -   . Keep your fingers crossed for me!


 
So sorry Michele!  I have to agree with the whole self cleaning thing...........I still have to clean my oven even though its self cleaning.


----------



## pdswife

Thanks Sizz.
I'm glad you weren't hurt badly either.
It's funny though... the first day my leg hurt, yesterday it was my neck and today it's my lower back.  Neck and leg still hurt a little but they are much much better.

Michele hope everything works out for you!


----------



## Katie H

SizzlininIN said:
			
		

> So sorry Michele!  I have to agree with the whole self cleaning thing...........I still have to clean my oven even though its self cleaning.



Wow!  I must have the best oven.  I've had my Whirlpool self-cleaning oven for quite a few years and it looks like it did the day it was installed.  I've never had to clean it myself.  All I've ever done is throw the "ON" switch and in about 90 minutes it's just like new.


----------



## SizzlininIN

pdswife said:
			
		

> Thanks Sizz.
> I'm glad you weren't hurt badly either.
> It's funny though... the first day my leg hurt, yesterday it was my neck and today it's my lower back. Neck and leg still hurt a little but they are much much better.
> 
> Michele hope everything works out for you!


 
I remember immediately after the accident I didn't hurt but within 1/2 hour of sitting on the curb letting the police do their thing my back started tightening up by that night oh boy........the next day is when I got the full effect.... full blown back pain. 
Hope you feel better soon.


----------



## SizzlininIN

Katie E said:
			
		

> Wow! I must have the best oven. I've had my Whirlpool self-cleaning oven for quite a few years and it looks like it did the day it was installed. I've never had to clean it myself. All I've ever done is throw the "ON" switch and in about 90 minutes it's just like new.


 
Personally, I've never had any luck with them. In the future I'm not going to even require that as a feature. When something says self cleaning I shouldn't have to go back in after the fact and finish its work


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Gas?*



			
				Katie E said:
			
		

> Wow!  I must have the best oven.  I've had my Whirlpool self-cleaning oven for quite a few years and it looks like it did the day it was installed.  I've never had to clean it myself.  All I've ever done is throw the "ON" switch and in about 90 minutes it's just like new.




Kate E, is this a gas or electric stove?  I always prefer gas and they say cannot get stove w/self cleaning if it is gas.


----------



## Katie H

In the Kitchen said:
			
		

> Kate E, is this a gas or electric stove?  I always prefer gas and they say cannot get stove w/self cleaning if it is gas.


I customized mine.  It's a gas cooktop with an electric oven.  And, as I said, it's a Whirlpool, which we LOVE.  The cooktop is Whirlpool, too.  So is our refrigerator and our washer and dryer.  All appliances have performed supremely.  Our dishwasher is a Jenn-Air that we bought at a thrift store for $15.  Another gem.  Turns out it was a floor model donated by an appliance store because it was a floor model that had been discontinued.  (Jenn-Air tracked this information from the model and serial number we gave them.)  We really lucked out with it.  Awesome machine.

Can't say enough good things about our cooktop and oven.  I've always liked cooking on gas and baking/roasting, etc. with electricity.  These products have given us the perfect marriage of both.  When we remodel our kitchen in the future, we will definitely consider Whirlpool appliances.

Even though we live in a very rural area, the Whirlpool service here is way above first class.  Any service we've needed has been minor and has been taken care of in a matter of hours.

P.S.  We have no connection at all with Whirlpool.  Just like their products.


----------



## CharlieD

Michelemarie, if in fact there is problem you can use the false advertisement reason to return the thing and not only that but demand discount on the next item for all the pain and suffering the sales person put you thru.


----------



## Michelemarie

Thanks CharlieD - I talked to the saleswoman on Sunday and told her that the oven is NOT self-cleaning and that we would have to cancel the order. She said she couldn't believe it and would do some research and  call me back. I have not heard from her, but I think Monday is her day off. I hope she calls tomorrow.  The problem, other than not being a self-clean machine, is that we will not be ready to install this oven until Jan-Feb sometime and their return policy is only 30 days - sooooooo, I am not sure I want to take her word for it - I am torn, part of me hopes there was a mistake and it really is self-cleaning, but the other part of me (the safe part) thinks it needs to stay at that store - I can't take a chance. However, I never thought of asking for an additional discount for the error on her part - maybe I  can afford a new one after all! Thanks CharlieD!


----------



## CharlieD

If I were you I'd call and ask to speak to the manager, as the matter of fact you should do that. Get the name , make sure to note of who he/she is and when you spoke to him/her. If there is problem stores are hard to deal with nowadays. Customer is Never right, seems to be the policy as of late.


----------



## Chief Longwind Of The North

Probably shouldn't be doing this.  But I'm doing it anyway.  My gripe, pressure cooker job creates stress due to mismanagement.

The situation, co-worker refuses to work out of town due to extra-curricular activities.  He coaches hockey.  He has young children.  I take the out-of-town assignment.

Given 3 days to run cable, terminate cable, find all info concerning customer telephone services including phone numbers, hunt gorups of those phone numbers, fax numbers, etc.  Never been to the location.  Never worked with this particular customer.  Also was required to remove the phone system from the previous location and install it at the new location, and place all phones with the correct phone numbers in the correct rooms.  Also had to wait for SBC/Ameritech to get outside service to the building before I could get the phones working.

SBC was a day late, causing me to have to rush the job on the last day to get the customer up and running.  So I got everything done on time for the customer with the help of my boss the first day, and his son the second day.  Also, things were more rushed on the third day because I wasn't allowed to stay overnight near the work site as the boss's son needed to work on the second day, and he lives in our home town area and couldn't stay the night.  It's a 3 1/2 hour drive from our home site to the work site, each way.

I made a mistake and connected the wrong line from SBC to the fax.  Now more work had to be done on site to expand the phone system ports as the customer wanted more phones than the existing system could support.  So another trip was in the works.  And we also needed two more phones ordered, which aren't yet in, or even ordered (my boss's job).

I got hamered for the mistake, and read the riot act stating that I was costing the organization money and if I were in business for myself, I'd starve, and how hard can it be?  It's just a simple phone system.

Well when you're driving 7 hours a day, and putting in another 4 houors or so of work on top of that for three days staight, and thrown in cold with no previous prep work done by anyone else, it can be difficult.  In addition, I had to install the LAN equipment and make it work, normally not part of my Telecom job description.

I'm just tired of getting hammered unnecessarily for things that are easily fixed, and don't even require an extra trip to do it.  This was a mole hill made into a mountain, and the mountain dropped on me.  It's just frustrating sometimes.

But then again, compared to the issues others on this site have had to face, this is really small potatoes.  I need to put things in perspective again, and realize that I have a fairly well-paying job in the area I live in, and a house that's paid for, and a host of other blessings, including the best four children a father could ask for.  And my boss is a great boss in some ways.  But he's not very good at lifting one's spirits, and I did make the mistake.

In this time of Thanksgiving, I need, we all need to focus on the positives in our lives and try to make life better for others.  I just needed to rant for a moment.  I'm good now.

Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


----------



## Snoop Puss

Goodweed, have a Maidrite-style hug from me.


----------



## Chief Longwind Of The North

Snoop Puss said:
			
		

> Goodweed, have a Maidrite-style hug from me.


 
Hug gratefully accepted.  I get to go shopping for Christmas presents on the day after thanksgiving, and I have sufficient funds to do it.  WooHoo!

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


----------



## pdswife

Make that two hugs!


----------



## Chief Longwind Of The North

pdswife said:
			
		

> Make that two hugs!


  Luv those hugs.    Now I'm going home to DW and give her a big hug, in person and live.

Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


----------



## mudbug

Aw, shucks, GW.  C'mon over the hot tub, take a load off, and relax for awhile.  

Our office recently relocated to a new building, and our IT and phone people had to work like dogs.  

You have my sympathies, and a big hug too.


----------



## CharlieD

Darn, I copied my complite Food (recipe) file to my home PC recently, but now I can't find it. It's not a big deal on the long run I haave it on my work PC, but I need to look up some recipes right now. Darn I'm mad.


----------



## Alix

Ooooooo Charlie, that really sucks! I hope you find it.


----------



## crewsk

OK, here's my vent, it's not real big but it bugs the heck out of me. Hubby is working today so I took the kids to his parents since his brother's family came from out of town & the kids don't get to see each other but 2 or 3 times a year. I was told that we would be eating at 2:00 & that was great since I had to be at our church by 3:00 to help decorate for Christmas. I told my MIL this on Wednesday when I found out & she assured me that everything would be ready to eat by 2. Well, we sat down to eat at 2:45 when I needed to be leaving, therefore when I got to the church everything was just about done. My MIL kept insisting that if I had've let her know before this morning that I had to leave early that she would have everything done.  As politely as possible I reminded her that I had called her Wed. & told her. Her answer to that..."Well I'm sorry that I interfered with your other plans. You should learn not to over book yourself."   It just ticked me off to no end!! I didn't have to go to thier house for lunch, I did it out of kindness because we don't see them that often & I know how much the kids enjoy seeing everyone. I did have a resposibility to our church because I'm on the committe that's over decorating & meals. 

Thanks for letting me vent, I feel much better now!!


----------



## Alix

Crewsk, some folks just cannot see anything other than their own way. Nor can they admit to any fault on their part. Come on, how hard would it be to say, "Oh my gosh, you did tell me! I'm sorry! I forgot!" Then everyone feels better. Sheesh! There are so many adults in this world who need to grow up and take responsibility for their actions and words. 

Hmmm...I guess that would be my vent now wouldn't it? LOL. It makes me mental when folks refuse to see things anyway but their own. Or when you tell them something that bothers you they tell you its all YOUR fault. Sigh.


----------



## lulu

The trouble with in laws crewsk, is that too often one ends up gritting one's teeth and fuming.  My guess is the people on your church committee probably understood.  But I can see that it is galling, your signiture says it all, you are a nice person and to feel pulled toward two different commitments is hard.

My vent is that I have lost a cat carrier.  i have FINALLY booked the final leaving date for Italy (longest relocate ever, its been almost 6 months since DH and I lived together) and I am packing my car in advance because I know sometime over the next couple of weeks I will remmeber something I forgot to pack.  I have to take the cats in seperate carriers, and I just can't find one of them.  Its too big to get lost but I cannot see it anywhere.  I am glad I started looking early, but I have to have it to work out how much I can fit in the car.....I am hoping I can get a big coolbox in for some things people in Italy have asked me to take over.


----------



## urmaniac13

Lulu, it must have been one of your moggies who hid it good... you know how they love being cooped up in a cage and travel in the car... let alone in a aeroplane!!  You must reason with them that if they don't want to be left behind!! 

Well last Sunday I stepped on an object which is like a huge thumbtack, which came loose from the bottom of one of our kitchen chair legs and lethally remained laying on the floor, I had to hobble around for a few days.  Then as soon as it was pretty much healed the boiling oil splashed on my wrist while I was going to sautè some potatoes for saag aloo.  I am still wearing a wristband to protect the raw spot still looking bright pink.  I am now being very careful just to breathe, I could do without a "third time lucky"....


----------



## Snoop Puss

Crewsk, you're a nice person. I'm not. So my thinking is that she did it deliberately to undermine you. Next time, make sure you've told everyone else - or at least a couple of key people - your arrangements too. There are discreet ways of doing that, but for sure it'll be the last time she tries the same trick.


----------



## buckytom

Alix said:
			
		

> Hmmm...I guess that would be my vent now wouldn't it? LOL. It makes me mental when folks refuse to see things anyway but their own. Or when you tell them something that bothers you they tell you its all YOUR fault. Sigh.


 
but, but, what if you're wrong, alix?  (running away......)

my vent today is as i was working on cleaning up the yard, a coupla kids pulled up and tried to steal my neighbors car. right in front of me, in the middle of the day.

did they think i was gonna stand by and watch them?

dw and a few neighbors called the cops as i chased them around the neighborhood; thru back yards, over fences and shrubs. man am i getting old and slow and fat. 

the little f**kers got away, but because i chased them they had to leave behind a car that they'd stolen earlier this morning. the police got a lot of prints, so i hope they are in the system. i told the cops i'll be happy to id them.

now dw is mad at me becasue she thinks if they are ganged up, they'll retalliate against us for ruining their fun. also, she thinks i was crazy for chasing them because i could have been shot.

i guess she's right, but it was just instinct to go after them.


----------



## kadesma

_Bucky,_
_ of course she's mad, but deep down she is darn proud of you..When people love you it's possible to be mad and proud at the same time..So saying that...    and _
_kadesma_


----------



## lulu

Bucky, you are brave and I agree with Kadesma, I bet your wife is as proud of you as she is angry.


----------



## Michelemarie

Wow Bucky!!!! I know how your wife feels because I have felt the same way. It was a great thing to do but sometimes you fear for your family. It is good the police are involved.


----------



## crewsk

Thanks y'all! I shouldn't have been suprised at my MIL's actions or words, she's always trying to get under my skin. It just blows my mind sometimes I guess. Plus, I'm getting tred of being pulled in a million diffrent directions, but I always seem to be able to get it all done some how. I told hubby about the incident when he got home from work & he gave me a big hug & kiss & told me how proud he was of me for the way I handled things & didn't go balistic on his mom. He knows all to well the "stunts" she pulls because she's done the same kind of stuff to he & his brothers. 

Bucky, that was a very brave thing you did! I agree with kadesma too. The fear for your safety was first in your wife's mind but deep down she's proud of you too.


----------



## Michelemarie

This is a sort-of vent, sort-of, I just need to say (type) this -

Things are not looking good for Theodore, my cat, who is over 18 years old. At his annual check up in April the vet said he needed to have his teeth cleaned but before he would sedate him he wanted to do some tests to make sure he would survive the sedation - which totalled a couple hundred dollars.  He suspected he would not pass these tests.  We opted for antibiotic treatment instead. 

At Halloween I noticed an odor from his mouth so I took him back to the vet.  The vet said that his canine was infected and it had to come out, but we had to have the tests done first.  We arranged for the tests to be done (EKG and several blood tests) and, to no surprise to anyone, he failed - his heart is not beating correctly and his liver is bad, surprisingly enough, his kidneys are good. The vet said he had to get Theodore well before we could sedate him to pull the tooth. The vet put him on antibiotics, a heart medicine, a liver supplement and intravenous fluids (yes, we had two bags of fluid we had to inject into his neck every day for two weeks).  I asked if he were in pain and he said only from the tooth ache. I asked about pain meds and he said it would kill him. I asked him if we didn't give him the meds if his heart would just stop beating and he said that his liver would go first and that my cat was not sick enough to euthanize.  I left there with a huge bill, a big bag of drugs and feeling horrible.

For the past two weeks Theodore has shown signs of weekness and lathargy.  Yesterday morning he could hardly walk, dragging his back legs and meowing very loud. He lays in one spot all day long, he cannot jump anymore, either. I had Theodore's records sent to a new vet and brought my cat to her yesterday. She saw my cat yesterday and said that she did not think it was an infected tooth - the tooth is solid and there is no puss, she suspects mouth  cancer. However, to find out for sure will cost more money  and at his age there is really nothing we can do. She also suspects maybe he has a thyroid condition, but again, it is expensive to test for and because of his age, there really isn't anything we could do (or should do, I guess).  She did give us pain medication for the leg condition and it seems to be working - except for the fact that all he does is lay in one spot and not move.  The other problem, which is huge, is that the pain medication cost about $250 a month.  Tough decisions to make - I wish God would  take my cat in a peaceful way so no decisions have to be made.  I have said good bye to him several times over the past month, yet breath a sigh of relief when we take him home - and it still does not get any easier the next time I think he won't be returning.  He is such a good boy. He has been with me through my first marriage, birth of my daughter, a divorce, six moves, another marriage and the  birth of my son. Thanks for listening (reading).


----------



## kadesma

_Ahhh Michele,_
_I know just how you're feeling. I'm dealing with  my little doxie Maggie who is rapidly declining..She can't see well, can't hear well, so thin you see her back bone, and yet every step I take she is right behind me. I feel so badly for her and I know, I'm going to have to do something very soon, but,I keep putting it off..She isn't in pain but she is so very fragile now.Even the little ones, walk by and pat her, Ethan runs to tell her goodbye or hellow everytime he is here and Cade, will stop playing and go sit by her to pet her..What the heck can I do. Hang in there MM,love your kitty, he will let you know when it's time..Till then, I'd ask around about those meds, that sounds just a little expensive to me..Do you have a pharmacist that you know well? Or if you want to PM me I'll ask DH just how expensive the med is..I don't mind spending for my pets, but I do object to being taken advantage of because I love my animals._
_Just let me know it's name and dose amount and how many times per day._

_kadesma_


----------



## Michelemarie

Kadesma, thank you for your support and help. I am going to PM you the meds and dosage. DH scoured the internet but said he couldn't find anything. I was going to call our pharmacist on MOnday, we wanted to make sure it made a difference for him and it seems to be, but all he does is lay there now.


----------



## kadesma

_Michele,_
_he is most likely dopy from the med. It looks like an opiate and that does cause drowziness._

_kadesma_


----------



## Chief Longwind Of The North

Alix said:
			
		

> Crewsk, some folks just cannot see anything other than their own way. Nor can they admit to any fault on their part. Come on, how hard would it be to say, "Oh my gosh, you did tell me! I'm sorry! I forgot!" Then everyone feels better. Sheesh! There are so many adults in this world who need to grow up and take responsibility for their actions and words.
> 
> Hmmm...I guess that would be my vent now wouldn't it? LOL. It makes me mental when folks refuse to see things anyway but their own. Or when you tell them something that bothers you they tell you its all YOUR fault. Sigh.



You hit the nail right on the head.  And Crewsk, I agree that your MIL was way out of line.  I understand completely as I have had similar experiences.  But I won't go into detail.  

Some people just need to learn that the world does not revolve around them.  

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


----------



## Alix

Michelemarie and kadesma, its so heartbreaking at this point in a pets life. My heartfelt hugs going out to you both. Michele, PM me when you get on line about meds. I have a suggestion for you.


----------



## Chief Longwind Of The North

Many people don't understand the connection between a pet and its owner.  I have had multiple dogs, and currently have a dog and a cat, both obtained by accident.  And yet, though they contribute little in material value to the home, and in fact, do there best to increase the required upkeep, it's that loyalty from the dog, and the cat, always hoping for a bit of love, for someone to pay attention to them, or play with them.  She asks so little and rewards with a genuine excitement whenever we return from anywhere.  She has some very bad habits (tries to escape every time the door is open and then run the neighborhood, making harmless mischief), like making way to much noise, and expecting a treat whenever she's let out back to take care of business (DW's fault, don't ask).  She's a pest in the kitchen, and acts just like a terrible-two year old child.  And like that exasperating human toddler, you just grow to love her.

She's getting older now, and has a lump or two that we're worried about.  But I don't have the income to take her for expensive tests.  So we spoil her a bit and make sure she get's attention and love.  When it's time for her to go, she will be taken to the vet.

My parents had beagles, and when they were too old, or sick to enjoy life, they were taken to the woods to do what they loved best, on the last hunt.

That may sound cruel to you and I, but the animals never felt anything, and it was just the way things were handled back in those days.  I don't fault either my dad or step-father for doing things that way.

But I digress.  Michelemarie and kadesma; just as with our human loved ones, we care for our pets.  But our society doesn't have the same respect for animal life as it does for human life.  And to some degree, that's as it should be.  And there are so many who would take advantage of someone's greif to make profit for themselves.  

I empathize with both of you.  I know what it feels like to lose a loved animal.  It feels just as painful as it does to lose anyone you love.  I have felt that pain.  My logical side says; "hey dummy, he was just a dog."; while my emotional side caused me to cry like a baby when the dog was taken from me, and this while I was a toughened young man who just didn't cry.

Just remember to put the animal's need for eternal rest before your need to hold on to him while he suffers.  I don't know or pretend to know what death brings to animals.  But I know they have an intelligence, a spirit, and Heavenly father has a plan for them as well.

Seeeeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


----------



## kadesma

_Thank you Goodweed,_
_You've helped with your post more than you know or I can reallly say. You just seem to always have a way of lifting me up when I find myself slumping a little. Thank you._
_kadesma_


----------



## Michelemarie

Goodweed, thank you for your kind words.  You are a special person - thank you.  And Kadesma and Alix, your help is very much appreciated - thank you so much.


----------



## SizzlininIN

So sorry your having to go through this kads and michele  .  My cat Trinket is getting up in years....about 12 now and I don't know what I'll do when the time comes for her and I to say goodbye.  She's more than a cat she's like one of my children.  I know I've never loved an animal as much as I love her.  I know when I lost my teddy bear hampster "Rollie" last year I bawled like a baby.  People I'm sure thought I was crazy but I loved that little guy. Same for my fish "Fishy Conner" who always greated me at the tank and followed my finger whereever it moved. Its amazing how much joy and love animals bring into our lives.


----------



## Alix

OK, my vent is that my computer is making me NUTS! We need to get a new stick of RAM, (or maybe a new computer!) because this silly thing keeps crashing when I try to do more than one thing at a time. I can either have DC open or my email, but not both! ARGH!!! Phooey phooey phooey!!


----------



## PA Baker

For the last three nights, Sofie has woken up around 3:30 wide awake.  She doesn't want to play and isn't fussy, she's just awake.   The only thing that she seems to want is for me to rock/walk her.  After about an hour and a half she falls back asleep but I'm too tired to do the same.  I'm so beat!  Last night I tried to wake up DH and he snapped at me, saying he needed to sleep because he was the one that had to work today.  Grrrr... 

I'm sure that this is just a phase for Sof, but in the meantime, I'm in such a grouchy, sleepy fog.  Ugh!


----------



## kitchenelf

Sorry PA - if she doesn't seem fussy she may entertain herself until she falls back asleep - maybe?


----------



## Michelemarie

PA - I feel for you. My son never went through that but I remember my girlfriend saying her daughter did. She would wake in the middle of the night and want to play with toys in the closet and pick out clothes to wear. I think she was a bit older than Sof but only by a few months. I remember once she took her to lay on the couch and watch a video and then back to bed. Maybe that will help. In the meantime, hang in there and keep going on to eat! Remember to take your nap, too!


----------



## pdswife

I'm getting a migrane... second one this week.  Dang it!!!!!


----------



## Michelemarie

oh, pdswife, i hope it isn't bad - i'm sorry you have to be pain.


----------



## pdswife

Not too bad yet... I think I caught it in time.  Thanks!!


----------



## buckytom

pdswife, i know asking you this is stupid, but have you tried very strong caffeinated coffee to head off a migraine? i've heard that it can prevent them.

poopsie  , sorry to hear sof is keeping you up. my little guy gets up and comes into bed once a week or so, always at 4 am-ish. fortunately, since i've worked so many midnight shifts this year he doesn't expect me to be there, so he only wants dw to put him back in his room.  
you have to make mr. baker help out now, or she'll only want you and _you'll _end up having to get up every time.

my vent today is based on my own stupidity. i have to renew my driver's license, and post 9/11 you have to prove your identity with several forms of i.d..
i gathered all of my documents, went to the dmv office, waited on line for my form, then on line again to prove my i.d., then to get my picture taken when i finally read a sign that stated they only take cash or check. i had no check and not enough cash, so i just wasted an hour and a half standing there like an idiot.
cash in hand, i have to go back tomorrow morning after work. me and 10,000 other idiots that waited until the last day of the month to renew.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*buckytom*

Don't like to say this, but is there some kind of lesson in this senario?  Only thing to do is accept it and know that this too shall pass.  If I just stop and think must be reason, seems to be lot easier.  Who knows who you will meet standing in line?  You may help someone make their day or visa versa they will help you.  Whatever try to keep your sense of humor and smile. Don't think I am making light of your problem!  You need a driver's license and remember we are thinking of you.


----------



## SizzlininIN

Sorry about your headache pds...... here's an interesting site for you to check out http://www.ehow.com/how_7661_avoid-getting-migraines.html

Bummer Bucky.......I completely feel for you.....I hate going to the DMV let alone 2 days in a row.

My vent.........I rarely vent but I'm so upset with the negligent and lazy staff I work with on a particular section. I don't work this section but maybe 4 times out of 2 weeks. If you don't know I work in a nursing home and the people there depend on us to perform our jobs to the utmost. Well the 2 full time nurses that work the section have no drive.....their just there to pass their medications basically and as far as anything else.....if it gets done then it gets done.....that kind of attitude. They allow the CNA's to run the unit. Well its their title to be in charge of these CNA's and designate assignments and supervise them.......well they don't so ultimately when other nurses come to the unit we assign assignments and supervise and take action when things aren't being done like they should and the CNA's have severe tantrams and outburst and retaliate....which means your the bad guy because you've came in and distrubed their world and they don't want to give up that control that was given to them by the other nurses I mentioned before. 

I finally had my fill, last night, at asking them to answer the lights and alarms and countless other tasks they were suppose to do or have already completed.  Personally, I was running around like a chicken with its head just off answering call lights and alarms because none of the other staff showed any concern or attempts to answer them......granted all the lights weren't always ignored but a vast majority of them. So much more occured but I'd have writters cramp if I typed it all out. Anyway I went to my Director of Nursing today with a typed out copy of all the events that took place last night and she has assured me that she'll talk to the Administrator about it and that changes will be taking place and they will back me fully. What cracks me up is that I'm one of the few nurses that actually will jump in and help with tolieting and changing the patients.

What truely frustrates me the most is that I treat my patients as one of my loved ones and when their lights are being ignored or I feel their not getting the care they should by a CNA or another nurse it truely upsets me. 

Thanks for listening......I just have no tolerance for people that have the attitude "I'm busy let someone else do it or thats not my resident".....errrr!


----------



## Reanie525i

Sizz - I understand this completely - I worked in a Nursing Home owned by Genesis - I would cry at times with frustration for my patients - I worked on the long term unit - We had 30 patients apiece - some nurses should not be nurses at all - If I walked in a room to give meds and the patient was upset I COULD NOT AND WOULD NOT just move on to the next patient - needless to say this did not go over well with some. Example - Mildred was crying for her husband(who had died 20 years ago) I would tell her that he was at work and asked me to keep her company - I could not see a reason to tell her he had died - Why make her suffer all over again??? Hard to explain the entirity on here - If you would like to talk please PM me your number - I know the burden and frustration of it all!!!!


----------



## Snoop Puss

Hello SizzlininIn. I read a few blogs by healthcare workers (paramedics, ambulance drivers, etc.) in the States and the UK. By and large, they are quite scathing about nursing homes for the elderly, largely for the problems you outline.

I especially enjoy Street Watch: Notes of a Paramedic. His blog entries are usually very moving or informative and always well written. His post for 10 November is especially heartening. You'll have to look down the following list in the following link to find the right one:

http://medicscribe.blogspot.com/2006_11_01_archive.html

The title is The Edge of the World. Sounds like you're just the kind of person to provide this kind of quality care.


----------



## Reanie525i

buckytom said:
			
		

> but, but, what if you're wrong, alix?  (running away......)
> 
> my vent today is as i was working on cleaning up the yard, a coupla kids pulled up and tried to steal my neighbors car. right in front of me, in the middle of the day.
> 
> did they think i was gonna stand by and watch them?
> 
> dw and a few neighbors called the cops as i chased them around the neighborhood; thru back yards, over fences and shrubs. man am i getting old and slow and fat.
> 
> the little f**kers got away, but because i chased them they had to leave behind a car that they'd stolen earlier this morning. the police got a lot of prints, so i hope they are in the system. i told the cops i'll be happy to id them.
> 
> now dw is mad at me becasue she thinks if they are ganged up, they'll retalliate against us for ruining their fun. also, she thinks i was crazy for chasing them because i could have been shot.
> 
> i guess she's right, but it was just instinct to go after them.


 I have to admit  I would have done the same as you did - I tend to act then think of what could happen - Be carefull though it is a wacky world we live in!!!  Bet they do not try to steal your neighbors car again though!!!


----------



## pdswife

Sizz and Reanie,  Thank you for caring!!  You're two of the good people!


----------



## Reanie525i

pdswife said:
			
		

> Sizz and Reanie,  Thank you for caring!!  You're two of the good people!


 So are you - Thanks!!!!


----------



## pdswife

Thanks Reanie!


----------



## Reanie525i

pdswife said:
			
		

> I'm getting a migrane... second one this week.  Dang it!!!!!


 I also suffer from migranes - My doc put me on Imitrex -(I use the pills and once in awhile the shot) It is the only thing that has ever worked for me - I do not suffer any side effects from it either - You may want to ask your Doc about it -


----------



## In the Kitchen

*buckytom*

buckytom, how did it go today?  Get your license? Meet someone interesting?  Or were they all feeling bad?  I was hoping the time passed quickly and you didn't forget something.


----------



## Chief Longwind Of The North

PDSWife;  My DW has suffered from sever migraines for so many years, I can't remember how long it is, maybe for 1979, I think.  She's been to so many doctors and neurologists that have tried this medicine, and that medicine, none of them really helping to do anything but take the edge off.  She has had spells where the headache lasted multiple weeks, with a day or two of relief, and then anothe cluster.

The reason I'm telling you this, is that jsut recently, while getting prescription for yet another cat scan, she suggested to the doctor that she would like to have her neck checked.  At first, he said no.  But after she insisted, he agreed.  The scan of her cervical spine revealed an old injury that she had gotten before we were married 29 years ago.  Seems she fought back one time when someone in a crowd tried to steal her purse. (She was very feisty when she was a young adult, one of the reasons I married her).  The perpetrator knocked her down and she ended up with neck pain from the incident, but never had it checked.  Some years later, this injury manifested itself in chronic headaches that appeared to be cluster migraines.  If she'd had her spine checked when they first started appearing, the doctors say that something could have been done to repair the dammage.  But now, there is scar tissue and other problems such that surgery would only complicate things further, according to the same neurologist.  So she's stuck with chronic pain for the rest of her life.  

Please investigate every avenue before settling for meds to alleviate the pain.  It may be that you have whatever imballance causes migraines in otherwise healthy people.  But if there is an injury, it's better to find out now that 25 years from now.

As for the nursing home gripes, your are completely justified in your gripes.  And I applaud your efforts to get corrective measures taken.

Sizzlin', record the time and date of your compaint to the supervisor, so that if action isn't taken, you have documented evidence that you took steps to correct the problem.  Also, should this bounce back at you (and I sure hope it doesn't), there are laws to protect whistle-blowers.  People have been fired for such things as trying to correct problems.  Protect yourself with as much documentation as possible, and with witnesses if you can.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


----------



## pdswife

Goodweed, I sure hope your wife finds some relife soon!  Weeks at a time with this pain ...OH MY GOODNESS!!!  How sad.   With me it's family related.  Both my parents, two grandmothers, one grandfather and now my son all get them....  The men seem to out grow them but we women just keep on suffering.   My first one happened when I was 8 so... I doubt if it has anything to do with an injury but I shall look into it.  Thanks!!!


----------



## Dina

Sorry to hear about your wife Goodweed.  Prayers are being said for her.


----------



## Michelemarie

Goodweed, I am so sorry to hear about your wife's struggles with migraines and even more sorry to hear there is no cure. She is very lucky to have you.


----------



## lulu

Re migraines, like pdswife, mine are, or were, a family problem, my mother used to get seriously bad ones, my father gets them less frequently and in my teens I was getting them as often as twice/three times a week.  Like Goodweed's wife, my mother and I had lots of tests.

Mine stopped when I had mey wisdom teeth removed, I get them hardly ever now, which is amazing, especially as I have had serious neurological problems and migraines might have been expected with that.....my mother's also reduced once she started receiving treatment for hypothyroidism.  A lot of the time things like migraines are, I believe, telling us something, maybe a health problem, or maybe just to relax and unwind!


----------



## buckytom

In the Kitchen said:
			
		

> buckytom, how did it go today? Get your license? Meet someone interesting? Or were they all feeling bad? I was hoping the time passed quickly and you didn't forget something.


 
so, migraines are really a pain in the neck? (or jaw, sinuses, glands, etc.)

itk, thanks for your kind words. yes, i went back first thing this morning, and it only took me 1/2 hour to get my license.


----------



## Michelemarie

Good for you Buckytom! Glad everything went smoothly.


----------



## Katie H

Goodweed of the North said:
			
		

> PDSWife;  My DW has suffered from sever migraines for so many years, I can't remember how long it is, maybe for 1979, I think.  She's been to so many doctors and neurologists that have tried this medicine, and that medicine, none of them really helping to do anything but take the edge off.  She has had spells where the headache lasted multiple weeks, with a day or two of relief, and then another cluster.
> 
> Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North



Hey, Goodweed, have your DW ask her physician about Aricept as a treatment for migraines.  Here's why.

Several years ago I was in a vehicle accident in which I was nearly killed.  I ended up with a closed head injury and lost my short-term memory as a result.  Lived in a nightmare for months before Buck's sharp eyes noticed a piece in the newspaper about a research facility seeking applicants for a memory study using a drug that was used to treat Alzheimer patients.  They suspected the drug could be used to treat memory loss.  Alzheimer patients couldn't be used for the study because they were unreliable subjects for an in depth research study.

I'd never had migraines until I had my accident and was plagued with them with painful frequency.  My doctor tried several drugs.  The only one that ever gave me any relief was Zomig.  Worked, mostly, but was very expensive.

Anyway, back to the research study.  As it turned out, it was a worldwide study and I was the first person in the United States to qualify.  I felt as though I'd gotten a gold medal in the Olympics.  It was a double blind study, so no one at the facility or I knew whether or not I was taking the drug or a placebo.

When it was all said and done, I it turned out that I WAS taking the drug.  Two things resulted.  My memory has returned to 100% and I haven't had a migraine for years.  I mentioned this to my advisor during the study.  When the study was over, they told me that they suspected the drug could be used to treat migraines.  Now there's a study for that, too.

At any rate, the study drug was Aricept.  It has worked wonderfully well for my memory and I will have to take it for the rest of my life.  My migraines are gone, too.


----------



## Reanie525i

OK - I am a total wreck - A man tried to abduct my son and two of his friends today - We called the police and they put out a BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR on him BUT I am really shook up - The thing that was even worse was I called what I thought was a good friend of mine who lives only a few miles from me - I did not want to call my mom as she is not doing well - Any way when I asked this person to come over and be with me and my son they said no - It kills me that they could not even be bothered to help - I also want to remind everyone to talk to their kids about this - My son and his friends screamed and ran but the man followed them untill he saw them calling me on the cell phone - Please be carefull -


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Nightmare*

I am so sorry.  This is every mother's nightmare.  Whenever they leave the house you are fearful of some strange guy taking them. This feeling never leaves, not even when they grow up and become adults.  Your children are always yours to protect.  I truly don't care if they like it or not that I worry about them.  I will never outgrow that kind of emotion. Some kind of friend, doesn't consider your feelings!  Time like this you need some support.  

Reanie, it seems to never fails that when you are having such emotional stress already, you get more.  It happens all the time.  Just do as much as you can to protect him and hopefully the other parents will join you and do the same.  Certainly thankful he was not alone.  Wish I lived close I would walk him to school for you.  

Thinking of you and your family.


----------



## YT2095

Freakin` Perverts everywhere man! I hope the catch the son of a biatch and nail him to a tree!
if anyone even Thought of trying to do that to my daughter I wouldn`t be responsible for the results.


----------



## Michelemarie

Oh my gosh! You must feel - I don't even know the words! I can't believe it! I am so glad your son and his friends are okay and knew what to do in this situation - you taught him well! What a scary thing - I know this will probably be the center of your thoughts for a long time to come - how can it not be? I feel for you honey - squeeze that boy!


----------



## Alix

Holy cow Reanie! I'm so glad your kids are OK. Hug them tight. Don't worry, they'll catch that guy and heaven help him when they do.


----------



## Snoop Puss

Oh my goodness Reanie. That is dreadful news. I can understand why you didn't want to upset your mum, and I'm amazed your friend didn't help out. This a dreadful event. I hope you're all getting over it as well as you can.


----------



## kitchenelf

Reanie - I posted in your other thread - the hair on my neck is still standing on end!


----------



## Half Baked

Reanie, bless you all.  I hope the man is caught this minute and put in jail so you don't have to worry about it, although you'll remember it for years.

As for your friend...*snort*


----------



## Chief Longwind Of The North

Reanie, I can't even imagine how you must have felt.  I know that my kids, even now that they are grown, are my world.  I'm thanfull that they're ok.  I too hope the perpetrator is soon caught and receives max punishment that the law will allow.

Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


----------



## AllenOK

Looks like I'm in the market for a new microwave.  My old one fried last night.  I've had it for about 9 years now.  It's a hundred-dollar job from Wally-World.


----------



## Reanie525i

Thank you all for your posts and support. I finally got a few hours sleep last night. My son is still having trouble sleeping and experiencing  nightmares that wake him up screaming. The school counselor talked to him yesterday and is going to see him again today. I am so thankfull to have him home safe. I hope none of you ever have to go through this and I am truly gratefull for all of the support you have given me and my son.  God Bless - Irene


----------



## Chief Longwind Of The North

Here's my gripe.  Good products cost lots of money.  I don't know how many of you are familiar with archery.  But if you are shooting a bow in the weight range of 70 lbs., and you get a cheap arrow, or one with insufficient spine, the arrow will, depending on what it's made of, either shatter, or warp before it leaves the string.

I gave my ancient (purchased in 1975) Caroll compound bow to my eldest son as it only has a 20% let-off, and though I can still pull it easily enough, it now tires me too quickly, and I can't hold the drawn position long enough anymore.  When I bought it, I could pull that bow all day long.

Well, Troy couldn't draw it succesfully until he reached about 160 lb. and 19 years of age.  So to him, that bow was "the Legend".  And he couldn't shoot it with any accuracy until he hit his mid-twenties.  We were shooting together one day, using aluminum arrows, and he went into the house for something.  I'd shot all of my arrows and so picked up a couple of his.  he was shooting a 50 lb. compound at the time.  I let fly two of his arrows and they flew substancially off course.  I retrieved the arrows and found them severley warped by the acceleration produced by my bow.  So you can see how important it is to purchase proper arrows.

I just spent about three to four hours on-line surching for graphite arrows.  I have a set limit for presents for my kids, nothing over $100.  I've already spent about $40 on him.  And do you think I could find a good set of arrows that went for less than $50?  Nope.  Not even on Ebay.  The problem is that nobody on line seems to sell arrows in amounts less than a dozen.  I only need three to four good arrows as he already has some.  And most of the high-grade arrows that would work with his bow are in the $80 to $115 per dozen range.

It's a terible thing to know the difference between high quality, and something that will just get you by.  And I never get my kids something that will just get them by.  I'd rather give them one quality gift than several lesser quality things.  

He's just going to have to get his arrows late, as I can purchase arrows in any amount desired from a local sporting goods store, albeit with fairly expensive per arrow prices.  But that's just the way life is.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


----------



## Snoop Puss

Is it possible to hold over the present you've already bought (for a birthday, for example) and just give him a dozen decent arrows now? Do you think he'd like the arrows?

I'll pm you if that's OK with you to ask you for some advice about archery.


----------



## Chief Longwind Of The North

You can certainly PM me.  I'd love to share what I know about archery with you, be it equipment, or the more mental aspects of the sport.

Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


----------



## Michelemarie

Goodweed, It is so frustrating when you know exactly what you want and can't find it - I feel for you.


----------



## JDP

My biggest gripe and if someone has already said this already it still bears repeating. I can't stand people who drive in the passing lane on the Highway's. There are a numbers of signs that say "slower traffice keep right". It's a very simple premise. But there are plenty of selfish, inconsiderate, stupid, &*)))#$ people who insist on driving 60 mph in the right lane when the speed limit is 65. They will even sit next to another car completely blocking traffic and gesture to you as if your the problem. I will set my cruise control for about 72 mph and travel in the right lane, pass when needed and move back over. If I do happen to be in the passing lane and someone is coming up on me I speed up until I can get into the other lane. HOW HARD IS IT? AHHHHHHHGGGHHHH !!! I have to go now and take my valium and wipe the blood has has started dripping from my eyes.

JDP


----------



## Chief Longwind Of The North

JDP said:
			
		

> My biggest gripe and if someone has already said this already it still bears repeating. I can't stand people who drive in the passing lane on the Highway's. There are a numbers of signs that say "slower traffice keep right". It's a very simple premise. But there are plenty of selfish, inconsiderate, stupid, &*)))#$ people who insist on driving 60 mph in the right lane when the speed limit is 65. They will even sit next to another car completely blocking traffic and gesture to you as if your the problem. I will set my cruise control for about 72 mph and travel in the right lane, pass when needed and move back over. If I do happen to be in the passing lane and someone is coming up on me I speed up until I can get into the other lane. HOW HARD IS IT? AHHHHHHHGGGHHHH !!! I have to go now and take my valium and wipe the blood has has started dripping from my eyes.
> 
> JDP


 
I can relate. Here's a like problem. I was driving I-15 South from El Cajon to San Diego one night, about 2am. The road was almost devoid of traffic. This pin head in a sporty car drove up behind me. I was doing the speed limit in the slow lane (4-lane highway). He tailgated me for a while, and then sped up to pass me. I glanced over to see him snear and give me an obscene gesture as if I were impeding his right to break the speed limit. He seemed very upset. Now I could understand this if I were blocking traffic, but like I said, I was the only other person driving on a 4-lane highway. He could easily pass me.

I get somewhat exasperated by those who pull out right in front of you, on icy streets no less, causing you to break hard, and then crawl along at 10 to 15 mph lower than is allowed, and then turn off half a block down the road, especially when there is absolutely no one behind me and it would have cost the rude driver no more than an additional 5 seconds or so to let me pass, and not place my property and life in jeapardy.

I guess there will always be pinheaded drivers, and we just have to understand that we must, as Crewsk says, "Be nice to others, not because they are, but because we are" (thanks for that Crewsk).

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


----------



## Half Baked

In the South they say on their bumper stickers, "I'm not speeding, I'm qualifying".

I thought Baltimore was bad but in GA and FL, little ol' ladies pass me going over my 80mph, with their fingers saying I'm #1, while mouthing words that I can't say here.


----------



## SizzlininIN

JDP said:
			
		

> My biggest gripe and if someone has already said this already it still bears repeating. I can't stand people who drive in the passing lane on the Highway's. There are a numbers of signs that say "slower traffice keep right". It's a very simple premise. But there are plenty of selfish, inconsiderate, stupid, &*)))#$ people who insist on driving 60 mph in the right lane when the speed limit is 65. They will even sit next to another car completely blocking traffic and gesture to you as if your the problem. I will set my cruise control for about 72 mph and travel in the right lane, pass when needed and move back over. If I do happen to be in the passing lane and someone is coming up on me I speed up until I can get into the other lane. HOW HARD IS IT? AHHHHHHHGGGHHHH !!! I have to go now and take my valium and wipe the blood has has started dripping from my eyes.
> 
> JDP


 
I bet 9 out of 10 have Indiana license plates  ........hey I'm a transplanted Hoosier so I don't do that.....but you can bet I can spot an Indiana driver......they drive me crazy!  They passed a law in IL that you can't go slow in the fast lane but I have yet to see anyone pulled over for it.


----------



## angelbear9114

ANGRY!!!
I was having a good day up until about 10 minutes or so...I got home from a nice easy day at work and decided to do some dishes...Well I put the stopper in the sink and turn on the water to fill it up...I decide man I have to use the restroom. So I go and use the facilities, get out and decide I want to see what my friends at DC are up to. I sit down and find this thread and begin to read feeling bad for all of the poeple having hard days. 

DH is doing laundry so I do not notice the running water sound in the background...UNTIL...Guess who forgot she left VERY hot water filling up the kitchen sink and who had to burn her hand to get out the stopper so some of the water could drain???


----------



## Half Baked

Oh Angel...bless your heart.  Are you ok?


----------



## Snoop Puss

Oh that's really bad luck. Hope your hand feels better soon.


----------



## JDP

SizzlininIN said:
			
		

> I bet 9 out of 10 have Indiana license plates  ........hey I'm a transplanted Hoosier so I don't do that.....but you can bet I can spot an Indiana driver......they drive me crazy! They passed a law in IL that you can't go slow in the fast lane but I have yet to see anyone pulled over for it.


 
No Indiana's not my problem. It's mainly Minnesota and Wisconsin drivers. Illinois people seem to have a good grasp on the concept. 

And SizzlininIN thanks for starting the bleeding again. I can't stand when some stupid, freaking idiot, sob pulls out in front of you on a 2 lane highway when absolutely no one is behind you causing you to slam on the brakes because they don't realize the right pedal is actually for acceleration. Sometimes I really understand road rage... I need to find my valium again

JDP


----------



## XeniA

Piffle. Just today I finished the last of my office obligations by enduring an audit I've been working toward for the last two months (okay, between DC posts  ) and for the last couple of weeks I just kept telling myself "okay, never mind, get through the audit and then if you really scramble you can do some Christmas baking and a bit more shopping and get the gifts all wrapped and the house tidyed up _before_ Christmas eve ..."

... and you know what? By 1:30 I was done with the audit, and by 2:30 I knew it wasn't my imagination that every time I swallowed my throat hurt. It's now 5:30 and both my ears ache and my throat feels HORRIBLE and something nasty's brewing in my sinuses.

$#@&* does this have to hit NOW?!


----------



## angelbear9114

I am fine...Just a lot of redness...Still managed to do some of my Christmas shopping last night.


----------



## Snoop Puss

That's really bad luck, Ayrton. I reckon your body has been working towards the audit too but has decided that that's the goal and now it's time for a rest. Time to get everyone and anyone doing the tidying at least.


----------



## XeniA

Aw, thanks Snoop! I'll remember your kind thoughts as I gargle .

(I'll tell Everyone and Anyone that you said it's their turn!)


----------



## crewsk

My hubby was supposed to be home 2 hours ago to help me fnish getting the house cleaned & take off the trash!!! He went to his parents house to help his dad with a few things. I don't have a problem with that at all, but he does this to me every time I need his help with things!


----------



## XeniA

crewsk said:
			
		

> My hubby was supposed to be home 2 hours ago to help me fnish getting the house cleaned & take off the trash!!! He went to his parents house to help his dad with a few things. I don't have a problem with that at all, but he does this to me every time I need his help with things!


 
I know what you mean crewsk -- it's maddening, isn't it? My hubby gets asked by various relatives to take a look at their malfunctioning mixers, blenders, phones -- you name it if it's a small appliance or something electrical. They do this because he's an engineer and because he's just always been very good at fixing stuff like this.

That's fine, but do you know how long I wait for him to fix the same things at home?! Sometimes its just b**l-breaking to have everybody else come first!


----------



## YT2095

"the cobbler`s children have no shoes"


----------



## Michelemarie

Crewsk, I understand your frustration - my DH does't know the word "no" - I feel like we are always last.

I have a horrible cold, inlaws just arrived for almost three weeks, and I find out last night (with wet clothes in the dryer and washer) that the dryer is broke - it doesn't heat.  A house full of people and a toddler who wets the bed - all four days before Christmas - aarrrrggghhhh! To look on the brighter side, at least it wasn't the dishwasher!


----------



## buckytom

you wouldn't believe how much stuff i get handed to fix. from giant tv sets to laptops full of coffee and soda, to car electronics that have singe marks on them.

i have a pile of stuff to get to, which is why i spend so mouch time here.


----------



## babyhuggies

were to start . How about i have 2 beautiful,smart girls one about to graduate..and they are driving me crazy be not going or not doing work or i just don't know. They are so smart i just don't get it.i try my best to encourage,help talk to teachers..but for nothing.

Now the other half~yeah  him. we have been together for 91/2 years and he tells me he is not happy and if things don't change -get this- in 2 months he is leaving.We have a 4 year old. But i'm so horrible that i have to change..not him me.He says the girls aren't the issue,even though he can't handle their school situation much. i apparantly di something the other day to tick him off and he didn't speak to me for like a day and a half.
How is this supposed to be a marry christmas???  
and i bought him tickets to the tragically hip... .I still love him and just can't get what is going on.He is not happy with his postion in life at his age, not happy where we live,what he does for work,my girls,me ---OMG
He is being a real S@#$ and so unfair.
Thank you for listening.I feel much better getting that off my chest,mind,shoulders..


----------



## suttisak

buckytom said:
			
		

> you wouldn't believe how much stuff i get handed to fix. from giant tv sets to laptops full of coffee and soda, to car electronics that have singe marks on them.
> 
> i have a pile of stuff to get to, which is why i spend so mouch time here.


 
What a lot of stuff you can fix them!!!!
I just tried to fix my favorite DVD player but its working curcuit too complicate. then I brought it to service shop.

I am amazed in your ability, wish I could do like you.


----------



## SierraCook

During last night's snow storm we only got a couple of inches of snow.  The problem is that it fell as a sloppy wet snow and when it froze overnight it set up like concrete and was very slippery.  I spent most of my day chipping, scraping, and throwing down deicer to get rid of the stuff.   Luckily, it warmed up to 40 degrees F.  this afternoon which made the job easier.


----------



## texasgirl

SierraCook said:
			
		

> During last night's snow storm we only got a couple of inches of snow. The problem is that it fell as a sloppy wet snow and when it froze overnight it set up like concrete and was very slippery. I spent most of my day chipping, scraping, and throwing down deicer to get rid of the stuff. Luckily, it warmed up to 40 degrees F. this afternoon which made the job easier.


 
That's rough!! When we get winter weather, that's what it normally does here. And believe me, the last place you want to be with ice on the roads is Texas. I will be the first to admit that we CANNOT drive on ice. Shoot, most of the driver's have a hard time in the rain 
hope the weather get's better for you!!


----------



## buckytom

at least you'll have a white-ish christmas, sc. hope it's a very merry one for you and your family.  

it's foggy, warm, wet, and very un-christmas-like here. yuk. at least the lights on the house look nice since everything's so wet. hmmm, where did i put the fire extinguisher?

suttisak, thank you. my ability to fix stuff comes from taking apart (and occasionally getting back together  ) a lot of my mom and dad's stuff when i was a kid. 

now that i think about it, i'd better go get some them some really nice gifts this year.


----------



## Alix

SC, UGH! I hate the "oatmeal" snow. We have had PILES of snow this winter, which is really unusual for us. (Yes, I know you think of Canada as being perpetual winter but really its not) Our city fathers in all their wisdom waited 3 weeks after the last HUGE snowfall to send out the plows. There was some serious road rage, and we just heard about folks threatening the bobcat drivers if they didn't move faster. Honestly, what a world. It is finally all done and the weather has warmed up enough to melt things a bit too. But I digress, SC, be careful out there and I hope it melts enough for safe driving.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Christmas Eve*

Well, it is Christmas Eve.  Our furnace isn't working.  Who wants to call someone to have it repaired and ruin their Christmas.  We'll just wait until after.  Maybe it will be cheaper!


----------



## Katie H

Dear ITK, just cuddle up with your dear family and hold each other close.  Bask in the warmth of love and family and enjoy the joy of Christmas.  Perhaps Mother Nature or the furnace gods thought you could weather the problem loving each other.  Nuke some hot chocolate and sing carols together.  Pile on the blankets and fall asleep in each other's arms and wait for Santa to arrive.  Could be the lemonade part of lemons.  You may never know what silver lining lies ahead.  Merry Christmas.  Be safe.


----------



## buckytom

itk, you never know, the furnace guy might not be religious, or might need the money from getting a call. 
often, they are subcontractors that are well paid by the mother company for their duties.

i like k.t.e's idea of body heat, but you shouldn't suffer in any way, just so you don't impose on someone else's day.

wait until the repair man complains before you feel like crap about it...

a favourite expression: you can't cross that bridge until you get there.


----------



## Barbara L

I agree with buckytom, itk.  Any repairmen (or women) not willing to go out on Christmas will be unreachable anyway.  

 Barbara


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Appropriate*

Could anything make you more depressed than not having the furnace working and it be the biggest holiday of the year!  I guess I'll call repairman as last nite was rough.  Couldn't sleep anyway worrrying that the weather is calling for rain and sleet.  Thanks for all your interest.  I know reading this particular column sure makes me count my blessings.

Going to church last night with so many others made me feel encouraged that many have not forgotten the true meaning of Christmas.  Something always special about going to church at midnight.


----------



## Barb L.

In the Kitchen said:
			
		

> Could anything make you more depressed than not having the furnace working and it be the biggest holiday of the year!  I guess I'll call repairman as last nite was rough.  Couldn't sleep anyway worrrying that the weather is calling for rain and sleet.  Thanks for all your interest.  I know reading this particular column sure makes me count my blessings.
> 
> Going to church last night with so many others made me feel encouraged that many have not forgotten the true meaning of Christmas.  Something always special about going to church at midnight.


  Lets us know if you get it fixed, please do have a Merry Christmas !


----------



## Michelemarie

ITK, try to stay warm! I hope you and your family have a very Merry Christmas!


----------



## shpj4

It is very sad that you can't get a repairman to come out and fix whatever is wrong on Christmas eve or on Christmas Day.

In The Kitchen I am sorry about your Furnace.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*I Am Warm*

Thanks to all of you I took your advice and called someone for the furnace.  Warned us the service call would be time and half and if he didn't have part to repair would have to wait till tomorrow.  Took your advice and asked him to come over.  Lo and behold, it was thermostat of all things.  The furnace stopped last month and that bill cost us over $400.  So what else is new?  Got to pay it!  I am fixing something to eat for us and can do so without all the clothes on.  Going to bed knowing there is no heat in house is scary feeling.  When our electric was out for more than 5 days due to storms, they warned us not to turn over on for heat.  Carbon monixide from oven can build up.  I never worried about these things before.  

I do thank all of you and I mean it.  I am hoping you all have the best Christmas and that your house and hearts are all warm.  You are all a special gift to me.  I do appreciate your time, understanding and shraing your suggestions.  

My floors are even getting warm.  I sure hope this isn't a monthly thing.  Got to think positive.


----------



## corazon

I went out to put our pork tenderloin for xmas dinner on the grill and it was covered with mold!  Blech!  dh scraped it and sprayed it all off.  Now we have it on to burn away whatever was left behind.  I think I'll give it 10 minutes before putting the food on.  I hope that does it.  I don't want us all to be sick tomorrow!


----------



## Chief Longwind Of The North

ITK; I'm glad you got toasty in your home.  And Corazon;  I hope your pork was ok and all is well with you and your family.

My gripe is simple.  My OS is old.  I'm still running Windows 98.  The problem is that I just got an external DVD burner for Christmas, a very nice one that will burn double-sided DVD's up to 8.5 Gig.  But my OS doesn't support it.  I'm going to have to upgrade to Windows 2000 at the very least, but probably will upgrade to Windows XP Pro.  

The problem with this is that Windows 98 is DOS based, which allows me to run the interface program for communicating with the Phone Systems at work.  And when I'm on call (every other week for the whole week, 24/7), when I get called, usually I can fix the problems remotely from my home PC.  I won't be able to do that when I upgrade as the interface program requires a DOS-based OS and from Windows 2000 up, the OS is no longer DOS based.

I've been told that I can set up my hard drive in partitions and operate a dual boot, one using Windows 98, and the other using the upgraded OS.  If I can do that (and I have no clue how to do it), then I'll be able to use my new DVD burner and still run my interface program to the Phone Systems.

If there are any guru's out there who know how to partition a hard drive and run a dual boot, pm me with a procedure.  I'll trade you straight accross, the procedure that I use for your choice of one of my cookbooks.  I offer four titles.  Crewsk tells me she likes hers.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


----------



## corazon

I came home today to find rotten bananas and little oranges that had been thrown at our house.  Dumb neighbor kids.  Do I accuse them and ask to have it cleaned up?  They're gonna be moving in a few days.  Last week, it was a dead duck.


----------



## Barbara L

Do their parents know they are doing these things?  You might want to say something to them, unless you think it will just lead to something more harmful than fruit or ducks (that's awful).  Thank goodness they are moving.  

 Barbara


----------



## SizzlininIN

Barbara L said:
			
		

> Do their parents know they are doing these things? You might want to say something to them, unless you think it will just lead to something more harmful than fruit or ducks (that's awful). Thank goodness they are moving.
> 
> Barbara


 
Put them in a box....not the kids   but the surprises they are leaving ......cover it with pretty wrapping papper and put a bow on it and leave it on their doorstep


----------



## buckytom

corazon90 said:
			
		

> I came home today to find rotten bananas and little oranges that had been thrown at our house. Dumb neighbor kids. Do I accuse them and ask to have it cleaned up? They're gonna be moving in a few days. Last week, it was a dead duck.


 
it sounds like you live next to warner bros. or hanna-barbera, cora.

i'd march right over and ask them. if they deny, tell them you have a hidden video camera set up so if they know who did it, they better tell them that they'll be caught.

it'll be over soon enough, so hang in there. and try to be home the day they're leaving, maybe raking the yard or something.


gw, the best way to set up a dual boot drive is to get a program called partition magic. it'll walk you through the process of setting up the partitions and boot sectors so you can run another os.

an easier way to do it is with a sled and mutilple bootable hard drives.

lemme know if this is the way you're gonna go.

you could also contact deadly sushi, who is a computer guru. he may not have seen your whining, er, query.   good luck.


----------



## subfuscpersona

*Dual Boot - Win98 and XP*



			
				Goodweed of the North said:
			
		

> My gripe is simple.  My OS is old.  I'm still running Windows 98.  The problem is that I just got an external DVD burner for Christmas, a very nice one that will burn double-sided DVD's up to 8.5 Gig.  But my OS doesn't support it.  I'm going to have to upgrade to Windows 2000 at the very least, but probably will upgrade to Windows XP Pro.  The problem with this is that Windows 98 is DOS based, which allows me to run the interface program for communicating with the Phone Systems at work...I won't be able to do that when I upgrade as the interface program requires a DOS-based OS and from Windows 2000 up, the OS is no longer DOS based.
> 
> I've been told that I can set up my hard drive in partitions and operate a dual boot, one using Windows 98, and the other using the upgraded OS...



hi Goodweed,

For your windows OS upgrade, chose XP over Win2000, since it will be supported longer by Microsoft and new hardware (like your DVD burner) may not work with Win2000. 

First thing to do is check whether your computer can run XP. You may need to upgrade your hardware but check whether your current computer can be upgraded if necessary. Some old computers can't be effectively upgraded or you may find it is not cost effective to do so.

If you've checked and know that your computer can run XP and if your computer has the space inside for a 2nd hard drive, you might want to consider buying and installing a 2nd drive and installing XP to that drive. You would not need Partition Magic if you do this. However, be sure to get a hard drive that is compatible with your computer.

If you upgrade, check with your employer's tech support whether their interface software can be run from within XP's "command" window or with DOS emulation software under XP. If the answer is yes, you may not need to keep Win98 on your machine. 

Apologies if you already know this stuff. However, I've been using computers since the early DOS days, have used Partition Magic many times and currently have 2 computers, each dual boot. If you want, please feel free to PM me on this issue. - SF


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Neighbors*



			
				corazon90 said:
			
		

> I came home today to find rotten bananas and little oranges that had been thrown at our house.  Dumb neighbor kids.  Do I accuse them and ask to have it cleaned up?  They're gonna be moving in a few days.  Last week, it was a dead duck.



How in the world did you get them to move?  I am having this kind of trouble for years and no matter how hard I try to 'love' them I can't.  Just last month their son (28 years old) threw roofing nails on our driveway.  We all had to get tires repaired or I had to buy new one, couldn't be repaired.  How do I know this?  No one else had roofing nails in their tires and they were on our driveway!  Even the grandparents do things purposely to try to antagonize us.  If the parents are the example what do you expect the kids to be.  They have been living here long time.  I am sure you have read many of my 'vents' about them.  She is one lady who is spoiled from her parents and her husband that doesn't realize what work is.  Sorry if I hijacked a thread or something.  Just can't believe that you will get relieved of this problem.  There is a light at the end of your storm.  Good for you..


----------



## Barbara L

SizzlininIN said:
			
		

> Put them in a box....not the kids  but the surprises they are leaving ......cover it with pretty wrapping papper and put a bow on it and leave it on their doorstep


I almost said the same thing!  Only I was going to add that she should hand it to the boys as they were driving away for the last time--a going away present.  LOL  Of course then it would turn out that they weren't the ones who did it and would always wonder why those strange people did that to them!     

 Barbara


----------



## -DEADLY SUSHI-

OK! IM REALLLLLLLLY not upset. Just bugged. 
Can we PLEASEEEE change the name of this thread? Venting is just not covering what the topic is about. New folks MIGHT not get it. 
Can we change it to something that reflects what this thread is about?
Like:
I Cant Believe This!
or
The Cruel Life
or
How was YOUR day?
or
Can You Say Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr?!
or
Venting


----------



## Barbara L

-DEADLY SUSHI- said:
			
		

> OK! IM REALLLLLLLLY not upset. Just bugged.
> Can we PLEASEEEE change the name of this thread? Venting is just not covering what the topic is about. New folks MIGHT not get it.
> Can we change it to something that reflects what this thread is about?
> Like:
> I Cant Believe This!
> or
> The Cruel Life
> or
> How was YOUR day?
> or
> Can You Say Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr?!
> or
> Venting


Goof!  Glad you had the chance to "vent"!

 Barbara


----------



## Half Baked

SizzlininIN said:
			
		

> Put them in a box....not the kids  but the surprises they are leaving ......cover it with pretty wrapping papper and put a bow on it and leave it on their doorstep


 
I gotta tell y'all this.  When I was bartending, I lived in an apt so of course there was no yard.  My friend was going to bury my old beloved cat in his back yard and I didn't want to carry a dead cat to work so I put it in a 12"x12"x4" box and wrapped it up.  I had it in the walk in until I got off work.  My friend was still at the bar so I gave it to him since he was leaving in about 15 minutes.  

He went to the restroom and someone stole that box.  We always wondered what they did when they opened it up and discovered a dead cat.

Did they think we were into voodoo or some obsure religion?  Did they think it was a trap?  We still call each other and laugh about it.


----------



## wasabi

> Originally Posted by -DEADLY SUSHI-
> OK! IM REALLLLLLLLY not upset. Just bugged.
> Can we PLEASEEEE change the name of this thread? Venting is just not covering what the topic is about. New folks MIGHT not get it.
> Can we change it to something that reflects what this thread is about?
> Like:
> I Cant Believe This!
> or
> The Cruel Life
> or
> How was YOUR day?
> or
> Can You Say Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr?!
> or
> Venting



Sush, Grrrrrrrrrrrrr, I can't believe this! Was life cruel to you today? Vent away. I don't want you to get buggy.


----------



## -DEADLY SUSHI-

Alas, tis the way of a morbid boat floated. But I want it changed!


----------



## corazon

Things were sorted out.  Ryan confronted the teenage boy, who was responsible for the duck, they got in an arguement but he came over with a huge box of chocolates that evening and apologized.

There is a uhaul in their driveway.  And itk, we didn't force them out.  The couple is getting divorced and the gal is moving out with all her kids.


----------



## Half Baked

YaHoo! It will be over soon. The boys may have been acting out because of their parent's behavior. It is certainly no excuse but it man be an explanation.

Divorce is hard on everyone.

btw, the chocolates were a nice thing to do.


----------



## buckytom

i would chuck the chocolates at their house.  

they're not too bright arming the enemy, if you ask me.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Solution*



			
				corazon90 said:
			
		

> Things were sorted out.  Ryan confronted the teenage boy, who was responsible for the duck, they got in an arguement but he came over with a huge box of chocolates that evening and apologized.
> 
> There is a uhaul in their driveway.  And itk, we didn't force them out.  The couple is getting divorced and the gal is moving out with all her kids.



I am sorry if you think I implied that I thought you 'forced' them out.  I have neighbors that are real nightmares and there is no sort of mental problems w/them like divorce. I surely would understand if someone were getting divorce.  My neighbors enjoy tormenting others as some sort of game.  Some people abuse animals, they try to upset the neighbors. No matter how hard we try to ignore them, they still continue. I don't know if we move if that would resolve the problem or not.  May move to someone worse.   

At least you are aware of the reason for this treatment.  Divorce is like a death maybe worse.  My aunt once told me at least  her husband died.  My husband is still alive.  She t hought death was end of torment.


----------



## corazon

In the Kitchen said:
			
		

> I am sorry if you think I implied that I thought you 'forced' them out. I have neighbors that are real nightmares and there is no sort of mental problems w/them like divorce. I surely would understand if someone were getting divorce. My neighbors enjoy tormenting others as some sort of game. Some people abuse animals, they try to upset the neighbors. No matter how hard we try to ignore them, they still continue. I don't know if we move if that would resolve the problem or not. May move to someone worse.
> 
> At least you are aware of the reason for this treatment. Divorce is like a death maybe worse. My aunt once told me at least her husband died. My husband is still alive. She t hought death was end of torment.


Not at all, itk, I know you didn't imply 'force', I just didn't know how else to explain it.  
This couple has been married for 2 years and her 3 kids are from 3 different marriages.  They aren't his kids but I can't imagine being a kid and having my mother getting married and divorced 4 times by the time she was 40.  Kinda crazy.  As far as I know, the guy is moving back in today.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Soaps*



			
				corazon90 said:
			
		

> Not at all, itk, I know you didn't imply 'force', I just didn't know how else to explain it.
> This couple has been married for 2 years and her 3 kids are from 3 different marriages.  They aren't his kids but I can't imagine being a kid and having my mother getting married and divorced 4 times by the time she was 40.  Kinda crazy.  As far as I know, the guy is moving back in today.



It's like watching soap opera only 'live'.  My cousin sent me Christmas card and told me she now has 4 new grandchildren.  Her youngest son married woman who had 3 children and he married this lady who was pregnant with his child or so she thinks?  She said they would have an interest ing Christmas with all these new children.  I truly hope th is marriage works for the children's sake.  My cousin and her husband would be wonderful examples for them to look up to.  However, if she is not even 30 years old!  We are still trying to accept the fact that he married someone with this many children.  It is his first marriage.  I doubt if he really knows what to expect. Much less what his food bills will be! Shock to everyone.


----------



## Half Baked

OH my word, In the Kitchen.  We can only pray for the best.  He sounds like a saint and I wish him the best and all the happiness in the world.


----------



## Alix

OK this is sort of a Vent, but more just sadness. The venting part of things is that I have entertained for dinner 6 out of 8 nights this last week. ARGH! I had Christmas day off, and yesterday off. Tonight I will be entertaining again. I'm running out of ideas (and food!) my grocery budget is shot all to h*ll, and I have used some of my Christmas money to supplement our groceries. Yeesh. 

OK, having said that, I don't really mind having folks over, I'm just a bit worn out. The folks we are feeding tonight just lost a Mom on Friday afternoon and its just very sad. It wasn't unexpected, but its just still so sad and feels unfair. I'm going to make soup tonight and serve with bread and hope that will do. We'll take them to our usual neighbour's party for a bit then bring them back here. The saddest part is that tonight is their anniversary. Married 18 years. I don't think they are going to feel very celebratory this year. My heart just aches for them.


----------



## kadesma

Alix,
of course your worn out, many of us are at this time of the year. But what you are doing is such an unselfish thing..Bless you for it. Having friends who are sad at a time like this and just having them come for something comforting like a nice warm soup and bread that's perfect. They won't feel it's to fancy but feel that wramth that you only get in a loving home..This way their minds have a chance to get away from the sorrow for a little while and give them a much needed break. When we lose a loved one the last thing we want to do is to cook..If someone does it for us and set's it before us we eat, we might not want to, but we do and in the end it helps.
You are truly a friend that anyone would be proud to have.
kadesma


----------



## kitchenelf

{{{ALIX}}}

I REALLY wish I was there to help.


----------



## Barbara L

You're a good person Alix.  I wish we could help out too.    

 Barbara


----------



## -DEADLY SUSHI-

Sponge Alix Square Pants, YOU are a wonderful person! And I wish I was there to help out.


----------



## Alix

Guys, I have a lump in my throat that is HUGE. Sometimes when you are having a whiny little crabby fit someone give you a boot in the arse that is much needed or in this case a hug from folks who care. Thanks so much for the hugs you guys. I didn't even know I needed it.


----------



## Dina

Alix,
You have a big heart and the soup and bread will mean much more than you think to those grieving people.  It will all pass soon and you'll be at peace at home.  Know that what you do for others now, will come back to you in a time of need.  You are a sweetheart and so compasionate.

I myself have to vent a bit too.  I have been off for 2 weeks from teaching and have been so sick all this time.  Seems that all the adrenaline rush kept me going strong and once I relaxed, ended up with all kinds of ailments, including a panic attach and crying spells.  Sheesh!  This was not ME ever before and it's scary!  My doctor recommends I get a live in maid to help at home while I work or take some time off from work.  She says I have too much on my plate right now and it's causing depression and severe anxiety.  I will start medication as soon as I find out I don't have ulcers in my stomach because of all the stress I've been through.  For those of you teachers or working mothers, can I get some input on my situation, please?


----------



## Alix

Oh Dina, that is so hard! I'm sorry my dear friend. I just sent you a PM about meal planning. You know you are in my prayers always. And I know how hard it is when you are working full time to do the dinner stuff too. 

There are no easy answers Dina. The only thing I can offer is that you have to relax your standards and expectations of yourself a bit when you are trying to do the juggling thing. Don't expect your house to be perfect, and don't worry about cheating your kids of time. You won't be doing that. Just concentrate on a bit at a time and take life in smaller increments. Delegate rooms to kids to clean, (each one gets a bathroom or the play room or something) and give them extras like a laundry day or a cooking day. You're a family and you can accomplish it all if you work together. One person simply CAN'T do it all without crashing and burning. Hang in there girl, you can get through the next couple of months til Easter Break.


----------



## Michelemarie

Dina, check your pm's - I feel for you. I am so sorry you are going through this.  Do you use the crock pot? I have some great recipes for ya, it does help. Alix is right, let everyone have a job - maybe do the  cleaning/laundry/grocery as a family - girl, you are on my prayer list.


----------



## SizzlininIN

So sorry your having a hard time Dina.  I understand your frustration.  When I was younger I really didn't care what my house looked like.......but as I got older my OCD really came out and I can't live in a house thats dirty or disorganized.....drives me crazy.....don't get me wrong I still have occasional days where I just say to heck with it.....but that just adds more work on me for the next day. I run on turbo speed when I'm doing a task ..... so I'm a whiz at multi-tasking and zoom around this house like crazy when I'm in a cleaning/pick-up mode.....so I'm able to complete the stuff really quickly thank god! Kind of like...........get out of my way our you'll be shoved on a shelf or put in a bin or if your lucky enough maybe you'll get propped up with the stuff animals at the end of Dillons bed.....  .Heck.........many days it was and is more relaxing to be at work (I work part-time) vs. being at home.... 

I know when I worked full-time all the tasks still weighed on my shoulders.  DH did occasionally pitch in and help with the dishes though and he's always been in charge of the garbage.  I made sure that I allowed at least an extra 1/2 hour in my morning ....this allowed me to get a load of laundry in washed and thrown in the dryer and another load in the washer......that way when I got home I went straight to the laundry room and was able to tumble up the things in the dryer and then empty the washer and throw in another quick load while I started getting dinner ready. I average 3 loads of laundry a day so this always worked out well for me.  I left the bed linens and anything that wasn't a daily thing for Saturday morning. 

Also, during this extra 1/2 hour timeframe it allowed me to get the beds made and make a run through and pick up anything that was out of place from us getting ready in the morning. I should note I always make sure the house is picked up before I go to bed so that I have very little to worry about in the morning.  Our youngest is capable of picking up after himself so thats his tasks in the evening and in the morning and DH is pretty good about picking up after himself. I just felt better knowing I was coming home to a clean/organized house. I had to really stress to DH and kids that it was their responsibility to help out by picking up after themselves.......the more they helped with this the less stressed I'd be and that equalled a happier mom.....because everyone knows if momma aint happy aint no body happy  .

As for meals I didn't make elaborate ones during the week.  I used my crock pot and also would take advantage of items I'd previously froze in my freezer.  For instance, when I was making spagetti on the weekend I'd make extra servings and freeze the sauce.  While I was browning the meat I'd brown extra pounds of meat as well.....some with green peppers and onions some with that and garlic....some just browned ground beef.  That way I always had the meat done and I could quickly throw together taco meat, chili, goulash, etc.... 

Every household is different and you'll just have to find the balance to make it work in yours. If that means you need to get a maid then by all means get one girl  . Hope it all works out for you!


----------



## Alix

Kids went back to school today and I'm working evenings so I will only get to see them for a few minutes each morning when they rush off to school.  Miss them already.


----------



## SizzlininIN

Alix said:
			
		

> Kids went back to school today and I'm working evenings so I will only get to see them for a few minutes each morning when they rush off to school.  Miss them already.


 
Sorry Alix  . I'm about to start a new job soon and a few days out of the week I'm only going to see mine for like an hour before and 1 1/2 after.......so I feel your pain  .


----------



## QSis

I haven't been keeping up with reading the 85 pages of this thread, so if someone actually has SERIOUS problems, I don't mean to dismiss them and I sincerely do not mean to be insensitive to real issues.

It IS nice to have a place to vent, though! I have four relatively new pet grammatical peeves. What's with .....

1) the word "healthful" instead of healthy (FoodTV)?

2) the phrase " ... it off" after the verbs "grilling", "baking", "browning", etc. (FoodTV)?

3) "the Prom" losing the article, "the", and is now "Prom"?

4) someone's "wedding gown" now being referred to as "my dress"?

I know, I know. If those were the biggest problems I ever had, I'd be very lucky. But repressing such venting might result in spontaneous human combustion     (I just watched a show on History channel about that subject and ordered a book on it. I've been fascinated with it since I was a kid). 

Lee


----------



## Alix

SizzlininIN said:
			
		

> Sorry Alix  . I'm about to start a new job soon and a few days out of the week I'm only going to see mine for like an hour before and 1 1/2 after.......so I feel your pain  .


 
Sucks doesn't it? I'm working evenings this week so that means I see one kid for about 15 minutes each morning (if I can haul my butt out of bed in time!). I just couldn't do this shift for too long, I'd have my lip sticking out so far I'd trip on it. 

Qsis, I completely understand where you are coming from in terms of grammar issues. I prefer to see correct spelling/grammar too. I am fascinated with the changes language goes through though so sometimes that overshadows my irritation with some of the other stuff. Linguistics is so cool.


----------



## SizzlininIN

Alix said:
			
		

> Sucks doesn't it? I'm working evenings this week so that means I see one kid for about 15 minutes each morning (if I can haul my butt out of bed in time!). I just couldn't do this shift for too long, I'd have my lip sticking out so far I'd trip on it.
> 
> Qsis, I completely understand where you are coming from in terms of grammar issues. I prefer to see correct spelling/grammar too. I am fascinated with the changes language goes through though so sometimes that overshadows my irritation with some of the other stuff. Linguistics is so cool.


 
Sure does...........just can't understand why I those stinking little power balls don't try harder to match my numbers  .....that way I wouldn't have to worry about working a regular job.


----------



## Alix

SizzlininIN said:
			
		

> Sure does...........just can't understand why I those stinking little power balls don't try harder to match my numbers  .....that way I wouldn't have to worry about working a regular job.


 
D'OH! *forehead slap* I KNEW I forgot to do something this week! Phooey!


----------



## SizzlininIN

Alix said:
			
		

> D'OH! *forehead slap* I KNEW I forgot to do something this week! Phooey!


 
 I always forget to check my numbers.  I'll be the one that has the winning ticket laying around for weeks to a month and decides one day to finally check them on the computer  .  I just check one today from Nov. 18th


----------



## Reanie525i

My numbers only come in on the day I forget to get my tickets!!!!!


----------



## urmaniac13

Whatever you do, just don't forget your tickets stuffed into your trousers pocket, which are destined for the washer... just in case!!


----------



## SizzlininIN

Pook said:
			
		

> Oh boy! A venting thread! Yay! I got up early this morning and splorchh! One of the cats had barfed in the hall and of course my bare foot found it. Ick. Got that cleaned up and when I went to the bathroom I discovered that my dear dog has taken down the shower curtain again! Grr. Then the mail comes, I get a rejection notice (see other thread) and then the dang garbage truck hit my mailbox! All this was before noon today. Gee I can't wait to see what the afternoon brings. I might go take a nap and start over LOL!
> Hugs,
> Pook


 
Definetly deserve a do over..............go back to bed but this time when getting get out on the others side of it..........


----------



## Alix

Yep. Pook, you need to go back to square one today. Yeesh what a morning!

My vent is weather. Its is cold and blizzardy out there today. Its not FREEZING, but the wind is really nasty and the snow is making the visibility really really bad. Its also polishing up the roads nicely and folks are having a heck of a time driving. The news has been about nothing but accidents today. Ken has to be out driving all day today and I just hate that. Hope all the nutjobs stay far away from him.


----------



## pdswife

snow... here again... need I say more....?


----------



## corazon

I don't mind the snow, pds, usually.  Tonight I was supposed to have a class but it was canceled.  So, today I don't like the snow.


----------



## pdswife

I'm sorry Cora.... will the class be rescheduled?


----------



## corazon

It's a weekly class but we were supposed to have a guest teacher from Seattle tonight.  They probably won't reschedule him to teach.  Oh well, thanks pds.


----------



## luvs

jake shouted at least twice that he's tired of my 'uppity attitude'. 
i 'twas like, 'um, well without your sort to contend with, maybe i'd be more kind, jake.'
he'll see dinner 'bout a month after today.
i'm also a snotty , via jake's opinion..
sigh.
'goin out to avoid him.
if somewhere's open.
guy ought not get loud with me.
oughta curb his loudness.


----------



## bethzaring

luvs, from my personal experience, the only way to change someone else's behavior, is to change your own behavior. And this is a hugh life lesson to learn, takes much work to learn it.


----------



## Snoop Puss

We had a chimney fire last night. Frightened the neighbours in the flat at the top of the building, as you can imagine. We noticed it as soon as it started and had a fire extinguisher on it straight away and closed the chimney off at the bottom. No damage done and no injuries. But a bad shock, wounded egos and an argument because we were both so scared by it. We hardly ever row. Lived together for 25 years and I reckon you could count the serious arguments on one hand. Not nice.


----------



## texasgirl

Luvs, guys can be jerks sometimes, but then, we can be the same and not even think about it. I like what Bethzaring said.


Snoop, I'm glad that it went in a good way. It could have been so bad. Stress will make the calmest person react.


----------



## Claire

Uppity attitudes rule.  My husband came home Friday to find me having a stiff drink because I went toe-to-toe with a local developer who is building in our neighborhood without a permit.  This was funny, because I almost never get that kind of angry.  But I did, and I did make him stop for about a half hour.  Then he started doing illegal construction (actually excavation) yet again.  Everyone in the neighborhood called city hall, but the city engineer is new to the job and simply believed this guy when he said he had permits to do it.  So hubby called the mayor, who came out and stopped the guy.  But I really, really was proud of myself for this.  But then, d'ya know what happened?  We went to take showers before going out, just to find that a water main broke and we had no water.  Some days you just cannot win.


----------



## texasgirl

Good for you Claire!!
Too bad about the water though. Probably the same guy too that made it happen.


----------



## urmaniac13

Lucilla, Cris's 11 year old daughter who struggles with a serious weight issue went through another session of testing a week ago. The new possibility is that she may have a problem digesting certain type of carbohydrates, and we need to start on her a new trial diet, without processed white flour and sugar. Also she was ordered to do a certain amount of daily exercise, very light, just walking on a treadmill to begin with.

The mother asked Cris to look for a treadmill, so we did, now she complains they cost too much. We suggested then maybe she can attend a gym. There they have treadmills, people who knows what they are doing to watch her, also if she gets into a better shape she can try other type of exercises, too. But as usual the mother comes up with all sorts of excuses "I don't have the time to take her there" "I don't trust people there" "what if she doesn't like the gym" etc. etc.... The problem is that basically Silvia (the mother/cris's ex) considers any kind of physical activity, be it fitness or sport, a meaningless total waste of time, and if Lucilla needs to do it, she tries to find a cheapest, least time/effort consuming way rather than a quality, or a facter that whether she will enjoy the activity. Just the same as the whole problem of Lucilla's overweight issue, to Silvia, it is just an esthetic matter, not about her health.

I try to keep my mouth shut considering my position, but I am afraid I will come up with some dangerous score if I take that "Anger Management Quiz" while thinking about the way Silvia deals with the problem of her children (also the way she treats Cris as well)....


----------



## lulu

Poor Lucilla.  She is lucky her father has a partner who cares so much too.  Is there any chance Cris can use it as a visitation thing and she could go with you and him?  That way he could cite it as a bonding activity....maybe Lucilla's enthusiasm could thus be harnessed and encourage her mother to view the whole thing more positively?


----------



## Alix

Can Lucilla not just walk around the neighbourhood for 15 minutes or so? Is that not a safe option? She is 11 right? Here we have flyers that need to go out to each mailbox a few times a week and most of the delivery people for that are kids too young to get other jobs. Do you have that there? It would get her walking and she could EARN money instead of spending it. That might be a good incentive to keep her at it. She might need supervision though. Would Mom do that?


----------



## urmaniac13

Grazie mille, Lulu!!  Yeah we suggested number of times, that we could take care of her fitness, if Cris doesn't have the time I can go with her, or even I can give her some lessons as well.  (I have worked as a fitness trainer for 2 1/2 years at a Nautilus centre, I have been into fitness for most of my life so I have more than a good idea what needs to be done.)  We even suggested that maybe during a break of school she can come stay with us along with her little brother (they are almost inseparable) and do a makeover of their life style, including physical activity and eating habit.  

Silvia doesn't like this idea, first she opposed using her usual series of excuses, lately she changed the tactics and started telling us that LUCILLA really doesn't like this idea but she is too polite to say no to her father.  And when we ask Lucilla about it, she really doesn't want to answer clearly.  Understandably the children are by now heavily influenced by their mother, having lived only with her for the last 5 years, also, I have seen in Lucilla, she is extremely dutiful, if her mother tells her certain things, she obeys it even if the mother is not around.  But I also have seen how much she is attached to Cris, she loves every minute she can spend with him and gets very sad when he has to go.  Thus we find what Silvia says highly unbelievable.  It is another thing that angers me, that she tries to manipulate the children like this.  And so sad that she can't really perceive what is truly important to her own children.


----------



## urmaniac13

Alix said:
			
		

> Can Lucilla not just walk around the neighbourhood for 15 minutes or so? Is that not a safe option? She is 11 right? Here we have flyers that need to go out to each mailbox a few times a week and most of the delivery people for that are kids too young to get other jobs. Do you have that there? It would get her walking and she could EARN money instead of spending it. That might be a good incentive to keep her at it. She might need supervision though. Would Mom do that?


 
Alix, that maybe a great idea.  I am sure there must be some oddjobs like that, the area she lives is full of huge appartment complexes, and every mailbox gets stuffed with all sorts of adverts and flyers.  Also she has some friends in the neighbourhood (they are also rather chubby who could use a little exercise) so if they could cruise around the neighbourhood together, and make a few € at the same time, they may well like the idea.  Also then, the mothers can take turns accompanying them, too.  I will check into that.  Thanks for the idea!!


----------



## Alix

My pleasure! I'm glad it was helpful. I'm of the opinion if you can go outside its much better for you. Treadmills are boring! Good luck to you and to Lucilla.


----------



## urmaniac13

Alix said:
			
		

> My pleasure! I'm glad it was helpful. I'm of the opinion if you can go outside its much better for you. Treadmills are boring! Good luck to you and to Lucilla.


 
Thanks Alix!!  I am with you about treadmill... I always thought if people wanted to walk or run why they don't just go outside?  Of course, in your case it would be justified using the treadmill, considering the balmy climate of Alberta during the winter!!


----------



## Alix

Yep, a treadmill is pretty important here sometimes! (Ours is currently in need of repair!) We still go outside lots though, even with the weather. Of course, not so much to walk but more to toboggan or skate. (I'm still feeling my last toboggan injury.)


----------



## luvs

Claire said:
			
		

> Uppity attitudes rule.quote]
> ummm, not quite correliating businness-owners who lack proper management skills & what defines an uppity person? slightly confused.


----------



## Claire

I think that there is still somewhat of a disparity in the perception of men and women, at least in my generation.  There still seems to be an attitude that a woman is being a witch (OK, you know what I mean) when she stands on her own two feet, while a man is just doing what he needs to do to get the job done.  I happened to live much of my life in a man's world; what I mean by uppity is just standing up for myself and my family.  I have to laugh; an acquaintance said he's never seen me so angry as I was on Friday.  And I only raised my voice enough to be heard over the backhoe on one end of the street and the equipment being used on the other.  I do have the advantage of being quite tall, and it does help.  No one every has called me a "little lady".


----------



## JDP

My vent today has to do with phone messages. People will leave a lengthy message and then a phone number to call them back at. The problem is they say the number so fast you need to go back and replay the message 3 or 4 times to finally get it. Slow down and give the person a chance to actually write it down.

JDP


----------



## CharlieD

JDP, I am with you on that one. I absolutelly hate that. Don't people know what they are doing. I just hate that. Some times I would call back people like that at some odd time to make sure nobody there. And leave extra long message telling them also that my phone changed and that they should not call the old number, and here is my new number and just say the new number so fast that I even cannot understand my self.

Normaly, when I leave a phone number I slow down and repeat it twice.


----------



## JDP

Well Charlie at least there's 2 of us.

JDP


----------



## Katie H

I concur.  Another thing that gets my goat is when someone leaves a message, they slur their words, as if they're on a huge drinking binge.  We've had some messages that we could NOT understand due to this.  Even after playing, and playing, and playing them back at the highest volume setting.  Then we get criticized for NOT calling back.  Go figure.


----------



## lulu

My landlord just had a go at me for washing the filthy curtains he provided!  I am not damaging them, they are thin unlined cotton and I am hand washing them, and while I realise this will not get rid of the old paint and, strangely, plaster that is on them (who plasters a room with the curtains up?) I thought I could atleast have them less grey.  He is annoyed, he tells me, because people can see in while the curtains are down.  These curtains are the Italian equivilant of net curtains, they let light in but not vision, and I have hung other curtains for curtains proper, so I have closed them to stop people looking in to make landlord happier...but the room was clean and very tidy (now I am a full time housewife I can make sure everything, and I mean everything, is clean and where it should be) and I don't understand what I have done wrong.  I suppose its some cultural transgression I don't understand...we did ask him to have them cleaned and he said it was our responsibility, so I've done it.  Oh well.


----------



## Jikoni

lulu said:
			
		

> Poor Lucilla.  She is lucky her father has a partner who cares so much too.  Is there any chance Cris can use it as a visitation thing and she could go with you and him?  That way he could cite it as a bonding activity....maybe Lucilla's enthusiasm could thus be harnessed and encourage her mother to view the whole thing more positively?



She is certainly lucky to have you Licia.A bicycle would also be a good idea. Many children here cycle to school and back or take bikes to go visit their friends or go to the local shops.


----------



## lulu

I think Alix's idea is brilliant, money is always a good motivating factor,  it would be even better if you can convince her to put, say, half of it a way in a savings account until she is older, then she is learning three lessons: money motivates, the benefit of saving and exercise is beneficial!  LOL  Jikoni, I understand driving is even worse in Roma than it is here in Milano: a lot of brave people cycle here, but I would be extremly wary of letting a child do so....we see terrible smashes daily


----------



## urmaniac13

Lol Lulu, maybe "a vintage look" was the landlord's taste   In Rome there are certain regulations that you need to maintain some uniformity and harmony when it comes to the look of buildings, that's why you don't see any ultra modern skyscrapers in the centre of Rome, and when they build something new, they often go out of their ways to add a little "aged" look, to match the surrounding buildings.  Maybe a freshly washed curtain disturbed the harmony of the rows of old tattered curtains all around??  Well, if that is the case, tell the landlord to make everyone wash their curtains, which will surely improve the appearance of his own property!!  He does sound a bit of a quirky sort to say the least, have you talked to any neighbours and see what they think of him?  But from all what you have told me, I don't think he has any right to complain over something like that, I would just try to ignore him...

Jikoni, thanks for the advice, yes, bicycle is a great exercise, and I think it is much more fun.  Also they live right by Tevere river and along the river, it has a cycling lane that goes all the way across the city, so they wouldn't have to worry about the mad traffic (which Lulu rightly pointed out).  When the spring arrives, we will try to take her out to cycle with us more often 
We do will check into the suggestion of Alix, too, as I agree it may be a good solution even her mother may agree (as it is NOT a fitness or sport ) and comes with some practical purpose.  Wish us luck!


----------



## JDP

Have you noticed the abundance of weight loss adds on TV lately. They have really got me annoyed. Each of them have people saying how they have lost 60, 70 or even 100 pounds. If you look closely on the bottom of the screen you will see a faded looking disclaimer that states " Results not typical". If you read the even smaller print you will see that the average weight loss is 3.8 pounds in 8 weeks. That's less than a half pound per week. With a little exercise and a little care in your diet you can easily do this without the added expense of their useless products. Who's buying this garbage? 

I supposed this is really nothing compared to the complete line of bull crap we will be fed over the next 2 years in political adds we will be seeing filled with half trues and out and out lies though. 

JDP


----------



## Buck

I supposed this is really nothing compared to the complete line of bull crap we will be fed over the next 2 years in political adds we will be seeing filled with half trues and out and out lies though. 

JDP[/quote]

JDP, I think if we get even HALF truths we should consider oursrselves lucky!


----------



## CharlieD

So, we were planning to go to this wedding, next week, the whole family. Father of bride just called, the wedding is off. 
Called airline to refund/cansel/change the tickets, they want $150 bucks per ticket. The hotel wants half of the prepaid price. But it doesn't ends there. We were the one who were going to give the afterwards party, I don't even want to think how much it's going to cost us.
Of course we are not as bad as the parents are, but I'm still pretty mad. i probably wouldn't be if the person who cancel the wedding, the girl, was not so erogant and cocky(sp?). I'm sure in part it is her fault. Grrrrrr, I can't even begin tocomprehand what the people think about.
Well, in the end it's better that way, rather then if they got maried and got divorce latter. Hope it's all for the best.


----------



## shannon in KS

my vent of the day is rather fickle... mostly because the last couple days have sucked, so I just kept my mouth shut  hehe.  Anyways, I am venting today because I have windows 98.. still.  My fault, because I hate spending money for a new computer when my current bulky 487-pound computer runs just fine for as little as I use it, but, I have heard Stumble Upon mentioned a few times, and my spoiled-rotten fiance's fancy schmancy laptop has it, AND I WANT IT TOO!  CAUSE IT LOOKS FUN.  And W98 doesn't support it.


----------



## kadesma

_Not really a vent except at myself because I detest waiting ..Ethan,Olivia and Carson have been sick off and on for a week or two..All three went to the doctor this morning. Carson has a breathing problem and was given albuterol, but is now running a fever, Olivia has an ear infection and lung congestion, and my little Ethan has pneumonia..This afternoon, my oldest daughter stopped by her sisters to give her some pasties I made and found an ambulance there. Seems, youngest daughter called them as Ethans hand were icy cold and turning blue an his fever was up again. The paramedics advised her to take them both to the ER..So now I sit and wait for the phone to ring and I am about to explode!! I can handle pretty much anything and only fall apart when it's over, but, right now..I just don't know what to do next..Thanks for letting me dump this here, it helps a little to at least talk about it...My poor girls are really good moms, and both right now are wrecks over this..._
_oh boy give me strength!_

_kadesma_


----------



## Aria

kadesma,  BUMER.  Some things are difficult to deal with.  But sick children..
In fact sick anybody is almost impossible.  Whatever that virus is...it is all over.  Most of my students have "something" and I keep my distance.  Don't want the "thing".

I am sure you will keep a close watch...follow doctor's advise and all will heal soon.     My neighbor bought a ginger root today.   And she suggested you
boil the ginger root, with a couple of cups of water.   Add some honey and lemon and sip like hot tea.  This should be done when you are starting to feel poorly.  She is a registered nurse, a mother, and a grandmother.

We  hope and pray your family will be fine soon. Some strength from our house.


----------



## kadesma

_Thank you Aria,_
_I do the ginger root tea whenever I'm feeling off..It helps and sooths. Daughter just called from hospital, Olivia, fever coming down and is licking a pedialight popcycle Ethans has shot up and he has a spot on his lung..They were tested for RSV and now we wait to see if they have that virus. Ethan at first refused the popcycle but has now decided to try it..Oh boy...Both my girls are teachers and they said they have had a lot of children out sick with whatever is making the rounds. They have been going to class with wipes and anti-bacterial hand wash..So far they are fine, but who knows what is riding home on their clothes!!!_
_kadesma_


----------



## pdswife

Kadesma... keep us posted. Fingers crossed that all is well.  Poor poor babies!


----------



## bethzaring

oh Kadesma, I hope everyone is feeling better......any update??


----------



## urmaniac13

Ooooh, ((((CJ)))) ((((Ethan)))) ((((Livi)))) ((((Carson))))  
I can, or should I say cannot, I have never been a "ma" after all..., imagine how terrorized you felt while you were waiting for the phone call... just to think if I had a precious little boy like Ethan and found him in such condition, it is just too much. I wish from the bottom of my heart their speedy recovery, and they can come home healthy again soon. And make sure that your daughters and yourself take good care of yourselves during all these stress and scare, you guys need to stay healthy to give all the TLC and more that these poor little ones need!!
My thoughts and best wishes will be with you, my dear!!


----------



## Snoop Puss

Kadesma, so sorry to hear your news. I hope everyone's making progress.


----------



## Half Baked

{{{{Kadesma}}}}  Watching children who are miserable and not being able to 'fix' it is he**.  I hope everything breaks quickly and the little ones are back to normal asap!

It sounds like it has been a terrifying time for your family and I hope today brings great news.


----------



## SizzlininIN

Oh Kads......I hope the little ones are better really soon. I hate it when my kids are sick you just feel so helpless even though you do all the things your suppose to. Please let us know the results of the test and how they are doing. Huge hugs to ya.


----------



## kadesma

_OLivia and Ethan are here with me..Livi has ear infection and both have been checked for RSV Ethan pneumonia.\both given steroids and in halers to make breathing easier..\\\dh and I have our handsful  Ever tried to get a 1 year old to use an inhaler? Then make them take 6 deep breaths? Lord help us..I managed to get Ethan to eat some apple and banana today. Kids calling be back later,_
_kadesma, thanks everyone your the best._


----------



## lulu

Arggggh,  such a good day, such an awful evening.....the rain that came in through the ceiling on Monday is back, a remedy our landlord assured us he had done has not been done, and now water is pouring back in through the ceiling on to my one luxury purchase in Italy: my sheets and duvet cover.  In tears of frustration I have pulled everything thats half dry out of the bedroom and we'll sleep on the sofa, but my guess is that our electricity is about to go again....

such a sad and pityful vent.  If you don't here from me tomorrow my power is out and I'm wet!  

Hey, to think I wanted the snow to come this week


----------



## expatgirl

CharlieD said:
			
		

> So, we were planning to go to this wedding, next week, the whole family. Father of bride just called, the wedding is off.
> Called airline to refund/cansel/change the tickets, they want $150 bucks per ticket. The hotel wants half of the prepaid price. But it doesn't ends there. We were the one who were going to give the afterwards party, I don't even want to think how much it's going to cost us.
> Of course we are not as bad as the parents are, but I'm still pretty mad. i probably wouldn't be if the person who cancel the wedding, the girl, was not so erogant and cocky(sp?). I'm sure in part it is her fault. Grrrrrr, I can't even begin tocomprehand what the people think about.
> Well, in the end it's better that way, rather then if they got maried and got divorce latter. Hope it's all for the best.



Wow, Charlie D.!!

I'd be mad as the dickens (more heart-felt expletives do come to mind) about this.  At the very least (IMHO) the family (both sides) should be "helping"  you pay for any cancellation fees that you may incur from  the last minute hasty calling off of this wedding.  This is not in the same category as cancelling last minute dinner reservations or a dental apptmt. ( however there are some dentists that will charge you a fee if you don't give them at least 24 hours notice), so I wouldn't be surprised  that you might be out some money on this.  Just remember that it takes  two to break up so maybe it's not all the bride's fault and if it is-----well, then as you say it's better for everyone all the way around that it happens now than afterwards.  You truly have a very valid vent.  VVV award!


----------



## corazon

kadesma said:
			
		

> _OLivia and Ethan are here with me..Livi has ear infection and both have been checked for RSV Ethan pneumonia.\both given steroids and in halers to make breathing easier..\\\dh and I have our handsful Ever tried to get a 1 year old to use an inhaler? Then make them take 6 deep breaths? Lord help us..I managed to get Ethan to eat some apple and banana today. Kids calling be back later,_
> _kadesma, thanks everyone your the best._


Wow kadesma.  Hugs to you and your sickies.  Aidan had croup last week and has now passed it along to his brother.  What can I say?  He's good at sharing.  Sounds like small beans compared to what's going on at your house.  At least you can send them home at the end of the day.  Get some rest!


----------



## Mrs. Cuillo

Ok, I started this new job today and I was very excited to start working in the branch. (I work for a bank as a teller supervisor)  My OJT(on the job trainer) was a complete "female dog".  She was supposed to be showing me around the branch as to where things were and introducing me to the customers.  Instead, she just sat there and talked to the other tellers, completely ignoring me and leaving me to stand there with nothing to do.  I tried to engage in conversation only to get simple one word answers.  I understand that I am the ugly duckling as I grew up in CT but I am going to be your supervisor...couldn't you atleast talk to me?  And what kind of a first impression is that?  I was so excited to get there and for what?  Hopefully it was just first day jitters for them and tomorrow will be better.


----------



## Mrs. Cuillo

kadesma , I am so sorry to hear of all the sickness and struggles that are going on in your life.  I hope that everyone is feeling better and up to par.  Everyone will be in my prayers, just try to maintain your energy.  You seem to be a great mother to be helping out your daughters like you are...I am sure they really appreciate it.


----------



## kadesma

corazon90 said:
			
		

> Wow kadesma. Hugs to you and your sickies. Aidan had croup last week and has now passed it along to his brother. What can I say? He's good at sharing. Sounds like small beans compared to what's going on at your house. At least you can send them home at the end of the day. Get some rest!


Thanks Cora,
It doesn't matter what out little guys have but that they are feeling awful and unhappy..The poor little guy can't really tell you much, so you just have to do the best you can. I feel so sorry for them, the droopy eyes, red cheeks from fever, the little bodies as hot as a furnace..Tonight poor Ethan knew Cade was spending the night and left in tears because he wanted to stay too.. which set off Carson and Olivia..Oy me me..
kadesma


----------



## kadesma

Mrs. Cuillo said:
			
		

> kadesma , I am so sorry to hear of all the sickness and struggles that are going on in your life. I hope that everyone is feeling better and up to par. Everyone will be in my prayers, just try to maintain your energy. You seem to be a great mother to be helping out your daughters like you are...I am sure they really appreciate it.


Thank you ,
your thoughts and prayers are appreciated..I'm sure they will be alright, it's just seeing them, just sitting and fussy where usually they are playing and laughing. Makes me want to cry.
kadesma


----------



## corazon

kadesma said:
			
		

> Thanks Cora,
> It doesn't matter what out little guys have but that they are feeling awful and unhappy..The poor little guy can't really tell you much, so you just have to do the best you can. I feel so sorry for them, the droopy eyes, red cheeks from fever, the little bodies as hot as a furnace..Tonight poor Ethan knew Cade was spending the night and left in tears because he wanted to stay too.. which set off Carson and Olivia..Oy me me..
> kadesma


It's just terrible when they're sick.  They get so miserable and you try your best to make them feel better but sometimes there's not much you can do except hold them.  My poor Callum has been crying this very sad, quiet cry most of the day, it breaks my heart.  here's to you kadesma!  What a great mother and grandmother you are!


----------



## Snoop Puss

Kadesma, sounds like a nightmare scenario. Hope they start to improve soon.

And Mrs Cuillo, sounds like she's playing power games. Perhaps she applied for the job and didn't get it and is now hoping to make you look stupid. How well do you get on with your line manager? If it carries on, you'll need to do something.


----------



## Alix

Holy cow you guys! Not fun times lately! Hope all is better soon for you. 

Makes my vent seem so small and petty, (but I'm still posting it!) my stupid computer keeps crashing! Argh! I know how to fix it, but it will just have to wait a bit longer til we deal with the bills from our holiday. LOL!


----------



## CharlieD

Thanks expatgirl. Juast found out how much we are loosing. $1200. plus whatever the party looses are I don't know yet. Darn, anyway, did I ever give you my borscht recipe, I remember you're asking but do not remember if I got back to you.


----------



## buckytom

someone picked all of the silver tips out of my earl grey with silvertips.  

i went to make a pot this morning only to find someone's put their grubby fingers in my tea tin.

grrrrrrrr.


thank you, now back to real life problems.


----------



## Snoop Puss

Hi CharlieD, easier said than done, but just send them the bill, at least for the party.

bucktom, I take it you have a good idea who the responsible party is?


----------



## SizzlininIN

CharlieD said:
			
		

> So, we were planning to go to this wedding, next week, the whole family. Father of bride just called, the wedding is off.
> Called airline to refund/cansel/change the tickets, they want $150 bucks per ticket. The hotel wants half of the prepaid price. But it doesn't ends there. We were the one who were going to give the afterwards party, I don't even want to think how much it's going to cost us.
> Of course we are not as bad as the parents are, but I'm still pretty mad. i probably wouldn't be if the person who cancel the wedding, the girl, was not so erogant and cocky(sp?). I'm sure in part it is her fault. Grrrrrr, I can't even begin tocomprehand what the people think about.
> Well, in the end it's better that way, rather then if they got maried and got divorce latter. Hope it's all for the best.


 
So sorry I missed this Charlie D!  Had I seen it sooner I'd of suggested you change it around and make it into a vacation of some sort.  Hope in the end it all turns out.


----------



## SizzlininIN

Mrs. Cuillo said:
			
		

> Ok, I started this new job today and I was very excited to start working in the branch. (I work for a bank as a teller supervisor) My OJT(on the job trainer) was a complete "female dog". She was supposed to be showing me around the branch as to where things were and introducing me to the customers. Instead, she just sat there and talked to the other tellers, completely ignoring me and leaving me to stand there with nothing to do. I tried to engage in conversation only to get simple one word answers. I understand that I am the ugly duckling as I grew up in CT but I am going to be your supervisor...couldn't you atleast talk to me? And what kind of a first impression is that? I was so excited to get there and for what? Hopefully it was just first day jitters for them and tomorrow will be better.


 
Sorry I missed your post Mrs. C. I sure hope things are better now. Is it possible you got a position this person was wanting? If I were in this position I'd address it head on and say, "I understand I'm the new one here but I don't understand why you feel the need to treat me so rudely".....I'm sure the person will end up trying to seem utterly shocked and back track and say they don't understand what on earth you are talking about but tell her exactly how she has made you feel. I've found that by address people who behave this way .....its like a slap in the face for them .....as most people don't call them on it so they feel they can be superior and get away with it. I say bring her down to earth. You don't deserve to be treated this way stand up for yourself.


----------



## urmaniac13

buckytom said:
			
		

> someone picked all of the silver tips out of my earl grey with silvertips.
> 
> i went to make a pot this morning only to find someone's put their grubby fingers in my tea tin.
> 
> grrrrrrrr.
> 
> 
> thank you, now back to real life problems.


 
Bucky, it's a *SERIOUS* real life problem!!  No one messes with my earl grey tea, or they better be prepared for the consequence!!


----------



## SizzlininIN

buckytom said:
			
		

> someone picked all of the silver tips out of my earl grey with silvertips.
> 
> i went to make a pot this morning only to find someone's put their grubby fingers in my tea tin.
> 
> grrrrrrrr.
> 
> 
> thank you, now back to real life problems.


 
I must confess I had no idea what in the world you were talking about  other than it had something to do with tea so I had to google. I'm a bonafide - addicted - loyal fan of my Lipton ....been tempted to try others and have a few but ultimately I go back to my tried and true. Someday I'll try to venture out of my tea safety zone again and will keep your earl gray in mind. 

You never said if this happened at home or work.....I'm assuming work as I don't think your lil one would be all that interested in your silver tips at such a young age....LOL and I think your DW would know you well enough to not even attempt...LOL!


----------



## buckytom

urm, you're darned tootin'!!!! (i sound really nerdy trying to keep it pg)

snoop, i have no idea who might be the thief in search of tasty anti-oxidants.  

sizz, it was at work. dw doesn't drink hot tea very often, anyway. but she picks all of the m&m's out of my costco trail mix, which is nearly the same offense.  

i was raised all lipton, all the time, too. iced lipton tea in summer, hot lipton tea the rest of the year.
lipton's corporate hq is not far from where i grew up, so even a few friend's parents worked for them. 

having tea after dinner in chinese and japanese restaurants were what got me started in trying "other" teas.

when you're ready, go to Harney and Sons Tea and Teavana - Home for some good info and good teas.

back to venting, umm, lemme think.

i'm off to make another pot of tea _*without silvertips*_...


----------



## SizzlininIN

buckytom said:
			
		

> urm, you're darned tootin'!!!! (i sound really nerdy trying to keep it pg)
> 
> snoop, i have no idea who might be the thief in search of tasty anti-oxidants.
> 
> sizz, it was at work. dw doesn't drink hot tea very often, anyway. but she picks all of the m&m's out of my costco trail mix, which is nearly the same offense.
> 
> i was raised all lipton, all the time, too. iced lipton tea in summer, hot lipton tea the rest of the year.
> lipton's corporate hq is not far from where i grew up, so even a few friend's parents worked for them.
> 
> having tea after dinner in chinese and japanese restaurants were what got me started in trying "other" teas.
> 
> when you're ready, go to Harney and Sons Tea and Teavana - Home for some good info and good teas.
> 
> back to venting, umm, lemme think.
> 
> i'm off to make another pot of tea _*without silvertips*_...


 
Thanks for the tip....no pune intended  .  Hope the silvertip bandit realizes what goes around comes around.


----------



## lulu

Yikes....I had a boss once who was so fussy about his Earl Grey.  In the end, because his pot was never as he wanted, he got bags so we had to do the English poncey thing of three dunks and its out.  When he was being particularly obnoxious I got real JOY at the fourth dunk of that ****** teabag, lol.

Well, my boiler was fixed today, so I should be happy, but for some reson the water is only coming out hot if the tap is only partly open.  If you turn it to a decent pressure (or semi-decent, which is the best we get!) it goes STONE cold.  But the heating is working and slowly re-warming the flat, which over night anfd this mornignwas down to 2 degrees! so at least to nights cold shower will be tempered by a warmer towel


----------



## Alix

Seems like it never rains but it pours. Charlie what a nasty thing to have to deal with. Hope it isn't too bad. 

Buckytom, holy cow! that is a hanging offense IMHO. As is, 





> she picks all of the m&m's out of my costco trail mix, which is nearly the same offense.


 She is lucky you haven't divorced over that!  

lulu, glad you have SOME heat now. Hope it all gets fixed soon!


----------



## mudbug

It's a vent about work.

We got estimates today for printing a report that has to be bound like a book (called "perfect binding" in the biz).  The estimates were from 2 to 3 times higher than the project manager has budgeted for. 

Perfect binding is expensive, and we don't do it in-house.

In addition to this, the project requires that we provide several different electronic versions of this report on CD, including an html format that satisfies the requirements of Section 508 of the Americans With Disabilities Act.  This meant that I had to research just what the heck those requirements are because the client's list of end products was vague and contradictory as far as meeting these guidelines.

The upshot is that I spent most of this week writing captions for 100-plus
exhibits (mostly photos) such that a person with impaired vision could comprehend what's in them without being able to see them very well.

Harder than you'd think. And I haven't even seen the final chapter yet.

Plus all that, the photos in the report have to be a certain large-ish size, which plays holy heck with trying to format it properly without leaving lots of white space.

When we're finished, we have to print hundreds of copies of the report and make hundreds of CDs.

When I notified the PM today about the cost of printing, he replied that our client will not spend any more money that was originally estimated, and so we will have to watch our labor charges in order to not exceed his lowball estimate.

Me (the editor) and the graphic designer and the document processor have already expended beaucoup time on this job just trying to get our arms around all the requirements, and we haven't even submitted the first draft yet.

And NOW he tells us we can't exceed a certain amount????


----------



## Alix

mudbug, jerkballs the lot of them! Go pour yourself a drink and forget about work for a while. GRRRRR!!!


----------



## Michelemarie

Mudbug, being in the industry and in your shoes, it s*cks to be you right now. I am so sorry that this is happening - take a deep breath and put a plan together. I'm sorry friend. I agree with Alix if time permits (I know this is deadline oriented) have a drink!


----------



## mudbug

Alix and MM, thanks for the shot of support.  Poured and consumed.

My current plan is to let this genius PM do his own dam*  caption writing and formatting.  I'll bet his hourly rate is higher than ours, and he will be worse at it than us.  Deadline is Feb. 1.


----------



## kadesma

mudbug said:
			
		

> Alix and MM, thanks for the shot of support. Poured and consumed.
> 
> My current plan is to let this genius PM do his own dam* caption writing and formatting. I'll bet his hourly rate is higher than ours, and he will be worse at it than us. Deadline is Feb. 1.


Now let that drink do it's job bug, sit, remove job from you mind and enjoy your family..Mr. Wonderful will get his one day  And you can watch and enjoy the moment..

kadesma


----------



## SizzlininIN

lulu said:
			
		

> Yikes....I had a boss once who was so fussy about his Earl Grey. In the end, because his pot was never as he wanted, he got bags so we had to do the English poncey thing of three dunks and its out. When he was being particularly obnoxious I got real JOY at the fourth dunk of that ****** teabag, lol.
> 
> Well, my boiler was fixed today, so I should be happy, but for some reson the water is only coming out hot if the tap is only partly open. If you turn it to a decent pressure (or semi-decent, which is the best we get!) it goes STONE cold. But the heating is working and slowly re-warming the flat, which over night anfd this mornignwas down to 2 degrees! so at least to nights cold shower will be tempered by a warmer towel


 
Sure hope things take a total turn for the better for you soon lulu.....wished you lived close as you'd be more than welcome as a house guest. But since your not hopefully these will bring a smile to your face......too bad they haven't invented smell-a-screen


----------



## SizzlininIN

mudbug said:
			
		

> It's a vent about work.
> 
> We got estimates today for printing a report that has to be bound like a book (called "perfect binding" in the biz). The estimates were from 2 to 3 times higher than the project manager has budgeted for.
> 
> Perfect binding is expensive, and we don't do it in-house.
> 
> In addition to this, the project requires that we provide several different electronic versions of this report on CD, including an html format that satisfies the requirements of Section 508 of the Americans With Disabilities Act. This meant that I had to research just what the heck those requirements are because the client's list of end products was vague and contradictory as far as meeting these guidelines.
> 
> The upshot is that I spent most of this week writing captions for 100-plus
> exhibits (mostly photos) such that a person with impaired vision could comprehend what's in them without being able to see them very well.
> 
> Harder than you'd think. And I haven't even seen the final chapter yet.
> 
> Plus all that, the photos in the report have to be a certain large-ish size, which plays holy heck with trying to format it properly without leaving lots of white space.
> 
> When we're finished, we have to print hundreds of copies of the report and make hundreds of CDs.
> 
> When I notified the PM today about the cost of printing, he replied that our client will not spend any more money that was originally estimated, and so we will have to watch our labor charges in order to not exceed his lowball estimate.
> 
> Me (the editor) and the graphic designer and the document processor have already expended beaucoup time on this job just trying to get our arms around all the requirements, and we haven't even submitted the first draft yet.
> 
> And NOW he tells us we can't exceed a certain amount????


 
So sorry to hear this Mud.....how frustrating it must be for you and those you work with.  Hope it doesn't cause too much more trouble for you.


----------



## CharlieD

lulu said:
			
		

> ...  for some reson the water is only coming out hot if the tap is only partly open. If you turn it to a decent pressure (or semi-decent, which is the best we get!) it goes STONE cold.....


 

I had a simular problem ones, Lulu, the plumber switched something in the faucet, so the hot water would come out in place of cold, but when turned up the cold water would kick in, check.


As far as making it into vacation, we did think about doing it, but then decided not to. What kind of vacation is it in the middle of the winter with little kids, draging them thru the snow did not seem like a good idea. O, well...


----------



## Snoop Puss

mudbug said:
			
		

> It's a vent about work.
> 
> The estimates were from 2 to 3 times higher than the project manager has budgeted for.
> 
> When I notified the PM today about the cost of printing, he replied that our client will not spend any more money that was originally estimated, and so we will have to watch our labor charges in order to not exceed his lowball estimate.
> 
> And NOW he tells us we can't exceed a certain amount????



What kind of project manager is he? He is totally useless at his job. Does he do this often? Can you do the amount of work he's budgeted for and just leave him to do the rest?


----------



## lulu

AGHHHR.  I feel so impossible to satisfy, no water, gas or heating last night, this morning an electrician came now everything words, but nasty things were said and the landlord was quite horrid.  In a way I feel so sorry for him because he IS very old, and also living in an alien culture. DH handled it all so calmly but I know the landlord is feeling angry and probably scared (DH said "Enough, we talk through layers now" because landlord kept shouting and ranting and being unreasonable and DH feels a stand up row helps nobody).  But the landlord exploded with (empty I am sure!) threats, which I understand, he is an educated man, a retired doctor, but his language, age and culture must make him feel defensive at such a turn of events. Landlord also bullies his wife, who just before the blow up, and we had some pigeon Italian conversation, and she, starved of affection, hugged me.  I feel so sad for both of them, how terrible to be vulnerable and scared and yet, DH is right, these structural and supply problems ARE untenable and I am positive the landlord has had many of these problems with previous tenents and knew of them before we moved in, in retrospect some of the things he said....well, its clear in retrospect!  I am looking for a happy outcome to this situation, and I really hope we find it.


----------



## kadesma

_Lulu,_
_what a mess! I'd start looking for a new place, I really would. I'd hold my tongue as much as possible, but this fellow can't be reasoned with. The last thing you need is to have to put up with this for months and months. What will the summer weather bring..? Wish I had an apartment to loan out...I won't say try to make the best of it. You've already been doing that...So put on your hunting shoes and try to find a place where you can be warm safe and free of a landlord with a toxic mouth._

_kadesma _


----------



## lulu

Yep, we sent him a letter today to invite him to break the contract.  Italy's rental laws are very different to any other country I have lived in, and like most things in Italy, involve  a LONG process, lol. 

We have already started looking, so that if/when he "accepts our invitation" we can cut and run!  Its just so sad.  Horrid to think of the next person living here too and them going through all of this!


----------



## Half Baked

> When I notified the PM today about the cost of printing, he replied that our client will not spend any more money that was originally estimated, and so we will have to watch our labor charges in order to not exceed his lowball estimate.


 
Mudbug, does he know the definition of the word *Estimate?*

This type of client ran us out of business.  It is beyond me how some companies can low-ball and the client makes up the difference, even if it's 3x the amount.  When we tried to be fair, make a profit and it ran over a bit, the clients said, "Eat it".   I guess we were too small for them to worry about.


----------



## mudbug

thanks for the additional support, ladies.  On Friday I was fuming, but I'm feeling less combative now.

Never met the guy.This is the first time I've worked with this PM, and we are working together over the phone and via email - he's in Minnesota and I'm in Virginia.

I get the impression that he is rather young and doesn't have too many management experiences under his belt yet. Actually he's been very nice to work with until this - and he wasn't hostile about it - but I would sure like to know how he came up with such a lowball estimate for printing (this indicates to me that he has no clue).

I'll be asking him that very question in a conference call tomorrow.  I'm also going to ask him to run the numbers and see where we are re: labor charges and remaining budget.


----------



## urmaniac13

Ooooh, Lulu, I am sooooo sooooo sorry, you guys went through a lot to find this flat, and now all this stuff...  But I agree with CJ, probably you guys will be better off if you could find a new place.  I wish you guys could relocate to Rome, then we would gladly rent out the flat we are living right now, and we will be relocating to the new one within a couple of months!!  I really hope you will get at least the necessities for civilization (gas, water, heat etc.) restored for good very, very soon!!

((hugs))!!!


----------



## urmaniac13

*Miss Manners, help!!!*

I must apologize for my petty and banal complaint, however I couldn't start a war in the middle of the lesson and I am about to blow up, so I had to victimize you guys for my... "venting"....

This is not the first time, happened to me several times already at our "aerodance" lessons at the gym. People tend to want to go to the front line, so do I, and I make sure to get there early enough to secure my spot before others do, because 
A. I have an easier access to my water bottle during the class, especially at the corner.
B. To avoid getting stuck behind the people who move totally off tempo.
C. I can get a better view at Nicola the instructor to see what he is doing.


However others want to do so in order to stare at themselves narcissistically in the mirror. (But ironically, those people are typically the ones who move about like drunken apes out of control. ) They arrive after me, choose to place themselves like 10 inches from me, then during the lessons they keep moving towards me, while I have to bend over backwards, doing everything I can to avoid collisions and contacts. After a while I would be totally pushed against the corner with nowhere to go, while they happily stomp about as they please. THEN, finally, *they would tell ME* to move and go somewhere else because I AM IN THEIR WAY!!!! 
For the previous few times I just bit the bullets and moved, but there's so much one can take, I was soooo   I just quit and left the lesson while today's offender was obviously happy to have the obstacle removed and happily waddled on...
Haven't those people ever been taught any kind of manners?? GEES, LOUISE!!


----------



## lulu

You think inb a gym people would want room, fools.  The whole idea of personal space is so different here, but in an exercise class?  Poor you!  And the class instructors?  Surely they want people to be working a safe distance from each other???? With all the fuss of permesso to use a gym, lol!


----------



## urmaniac13

Yeah, Nicola really felt bad for me and apologized for what happened after the class, even if it was not at all his fault... it is always the same thing, lack of consideration for others by too many of the participants, which is also very difficult to control.  And I am actually too sheepish when it comes to confrontation, I am the type who just let myself get pushed around, then go to the safe corner and hiss and growl fiercely!


----------



## lulu

Well, when I come to Roma I'll sit at the front and bark at anyone who encroaches on your space, lol!

Thanks for earlier kind words about housing.  DH saw a property avocado this morning the situation here changed again  this afternoon, we go to the lawyer again this evening or tomorrow afternoon.  I think part of the problem is that LL does not have enough to do.  I have all day to pander to him, but obviously DH does not.  So, we call it quits, do what has to be done and start the search again, lol.  Oh the dread of it!  In fact, we now learn that this is VERY common here, the woman who was in DH's role before him actually left Italy after her third terible housing experience in two years...Milano has it seems a sad reputation for this in Italy.


----------



## urmaniac13

lulu said:
			
		

> Well, when I come to Roma I'll sit at the front and bark at anyone who encroaches on your space, lol!


 
Well, that's another good reason for you to relocate to Rome!! 



			
				lulu said:
			
		

> Thanks for earlier kind words about housing. DH saw a property avocado this morning the situation here changed again  this afternoon, we go to the lawyer again this evening or tomorrow afternoon. I think part of the problem is that LL does not have enough to do. I have all day to pander to him, but obviously DH does not. So, we call it quits, do what has to be done and start the search again, lol. Oh the dread of it! In fact, we now learn that this is VERY common here, the woman who was in DH's role before him actually left Italy after her third terible housing experience in two years...Milano has it seems a sad reputation for this in Italy.


 
That maybe why the Italians prefer to BUY a house (well, more likely a flat in Rome and Milano..) instead of rentng.  I heard renting is not a popular option among them, and they try to buy one even though they obviously cost way too much these days, especially in Rome and Milano.  And which leaves the majority of the properties for let for mainly foreigners, thus there are less control.  Which is a sad situation.  You need to consult with a well reputed real estate agents, and Michael should seek all the help he can get from the local colleagues/acquaintants to find such an agent, and/or a place to live.  Once again, in bocca al lupo, you need all the luck you can get!!


----------



## CharlieD

lulu said:
			
		

> Yep, we sent him a letter today to invite him to break the contract. Italy's rental laws are very different to any other country I have lived in, and like most things in Italy, involve a LONG process, lol.
> 
> We have already started looking, so that if/when he "accepts our invitation" we can cut and run! Its just so sad. Horrid to think of the next person living here too and them going through all of this!


 

Yeah, I was just going to say to Kadesma this is not America. Italy is very different and nothing is that simple.


----------



## Alix

Little vent. I turned my head too quickly and got a burn up one side of my neck. Usually when that happens the pain goes away pretty quickly, but today it has stayed and its giving me a headache. Ow.


----------



## urmaniac13

Alix said:
			
		

> Little vent. I turned my head too quickly and got a burn up one side of my neck. Usually when that happens the pain goes away pretty quickly, but today it has stayed and its giving me a headache. Ow.


 
been there done that... hate it when that happens!!


----------



## SizzlininIN

So sorry lulu that your having to deal with all of this......hope and pray that it all works out in the end for you guys.

Sorry to hear about your neck Alix.......try some Aleve or Advil (if you can take either of them) and put a heating pad on it.......hopefully that combination will help. Gentle Hugs


----------



## Uncle Bob

Alix said:
			
		

> Little vent. I turned my head too quickly and got a burn up one side of my neck. Usually when that happens the pain goes away pretty quickly, but today it has stayed and its giving me a headache. Ow.


 
Uncle Bob's remedy for this is 2 or 3 oz. of good Kentucky Bourbon..along with some "chill" time!


----------



## lulu

Oh Alix, poor you!  

As regards buying, the english like the americdans buy houses!  But its expensive here and the process may be longer than how long we stay, I still hope DH gets offered a UK contract sooner rather than later!

Anyway, for now I am all good, my avvocato (not avocado as I typed earlier!) was great and an old friend of DH's boss.  He said some not flattering things about corporate lawyers (like his friend and DH!) and laughed at the letter the entire office had had a go at writing, and told us when we buy a company fine, DH does our own lawyer-ing, when we deal with "real" problems, get a "real" lawyer, ROFL

We have a plan


----------



## Alix

Uncle Bob said:
			
		

> Uncle Bob's remedy for this is 2 or 3 oz. of good Kentucky Bourbon..along with some "chill" time!


 
Wish I could but I'm off to work now. They frown on arriving at work after a few oz. of the good stuff. Advil is a marvelous thing and I'm feeling better. Thanks all for the sympathy.


----------



## urmaniac13

Ah, Lulu... now you cleared the wee mystery for me... I was just wondering what has avocado got to do with this whole thing.   I never thought of avvocato as I was thinking in the English mode at that time!!  

(Avvocato = attorney, solicitor, barrister etc. in Italian)


----------



## Brooksy

urmaniac13 said:
			
		

> Ah, Lulu... now you cleared the wee mystery for me... I was just wondering what has avocado got to do with this whole thing.   I never thought of avvocato as I was thinking in the English mode at that time!!
> 
> (Avvocato = attorney, solicitor, barrister etc. in Italian)



Avocado is probably of more use anyway.......


----------



## CharlieD

Ok, I’ve been holding out on this for 3 days, but I can’t stand it anymore. So 3 days ago we got full house of sick kids. The day started with school calling my wife and telling her that one of our daughters has lies. By the time she got to school, they were calling her to tell that the other daughter is throwing up and yet another one has something wrong with her eye; of course, it ended up being a pink eye. So fever, throw ups, pink eye, lies. So dealing with all of that at the same time could be a lot fun – NOT. To make it the full house our son had some kind of weird rash on his legs, looked pretty strange and hurt too.
She had to wash everything in the house and then some. Vacuuming, cleaning, more laundry more vacuuming. In the mean time we keep washing hair of, trying to put eye drops into eyes of another, who is fighting tooth and nail trying to squeeze her eyes so tight that no medicine gets anywhere close, and keep cleaning the throw ups, that did not make it to garbage or toilet, fun, fun 3 days. Thank G-d it’s getting better. Except the daughter with the lies problem, I butchered her hair. Not that I know what to do to begin with, the scissors we had are so, so bad, she still looks cute. But now we have to deal with nits, they are still there and there are a lot of them. Oh… How do even get rid off them?

 The thing that makes me mad though, is the fact that it is the most likely that she got them at the hair place; we took her there few days ago. And we have been thinking about it and that’s the only logical explanation. Darn. If only I had prove. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR


----------



## Katie H

Charlie, your daughter may have gotten the lice from school.  It's not unusual, in the wintertime, for children to contract lice from schoolmates.  It's cold.  They wear hats and sometimes share hats.  Lice can be transmitted that simply and VERY quickly.  Try to encourage her not to share hats or scarves with anyone.  You'll get through it.  We survived these sorts of things with 5 children.


----------



## Snoop Puss

Your local chemist is bound to have a treatment for lice if you want to use a chemical/pharmaceutical product. You can also buy really fine combs like they used in the old days but which are coming back into fashion (so to speak!) now that parents are becoming more and more concerned about the chemicals kids are exposed to. I agree with Katie E - the most likely source is another kid at school. The only consolation is that lice like clean hair - just because she's got them doesn't mean she's dirty or that people will think she is. Hope all the kids start to feel better soon.


----------



## Alix

Oh Charlie, what a HORRIBLE week!! There are all kinds of products for lice removal. Not sure what you can get there in the US, but look for Kwellada, thats one that works. Most kits come with a special comb to remove the nits. Back in the dark ages, kerosene was one of the things that got rid of both lice and their nits, you can also use tea tree oil. For every one adult louse there will be exactly 6 nits so if you are picking through it might help to keep count a bit. Just remember that lice prefer clean hair, so your daughter likely had really good hygiene!


----------



## Michelemarie

Oh Charlie! I feel for you! My daughter and lice when she was 2 - which was a long time ago but very alive still in my mind.  It is near impossible to great rid of. It is alot more work than just washing your hair and being done like the school nurse says.  

You may want to treat everyone in the house - even if they show no signs of lice yet.  No sharing beds. Vacuum your furniture, beds, carpet and car often.  Throw away all her hair bows and barrettes.  Any stuffed animals, wash if you can or bag up for at least two weeks. I put all my daughters dolls and barbies through the dishwasher.   

Strip the beds and spray the mattress and pillows with a lice and tick spray and keep the minimum bedding on until this is over.  Get her her own set of brushes and combs and bleach or boil them after every use.  Check for nits every night and remove.  Bleach the area where you did this every night and wash all towels and clothes in hot water.   Apply the lice treatments religiously!  I say this from experience, trust me!  

Lice like clean hair, keep it dirty and up in a pony and bun.  Tell her not to sit on any couches or fabric stuff in school (some of these schools have bean bags and couches for reading -all that does is spread it!) Lice can't jump but they can climb, so be careful on upholstered things like the movie theatre seats, seats in your cars, car seats, etc.

It can take up to 10 days for a nit to hatch, so stay a step ahead at all times.  Apply the lice treatment religiously (I think it is once a week or once every 10 days).  Lice are hearty and becoming resistent to treatment - the little buggers!

A couple years ago I saw a spray that was a lice repellent but it was very very hard to find.  It came in a yellow bottle.  Also, there are some products at fairytaleshaircare.com that claim to get rid of and repel lice.  In addition, I heard of a new hairdryer that is supposed to zap lice and nits dead on the spot, but I am not sure it is on the market yet. I heard some schools were going to be using them.  

After two months, two vacuums, a dozen bottles of bleach, a couple bags of destroyed toys, raw hands, and losing over 5 lbs., I finally set off several flea bombs in my house. They say those don't work but I was near a nervous breakdown and was willing to try anything, I even treated the cat!  After the flea bombs I never saw another nit again.  

I know I sound like a freak, but this experience was awful. I'm sorry you are going through this. Unless your school as a "no nit" policy, lice will probably be circulating the school for a very long time. Alot of people just wash hair and send the kid back. In grade school we saw the same kids getting lice - I think they never got rid of it - it was so sad.  Good luck!


----------



## mudbug

Poor Charlie and family!  Wish I could do more than sympathize.


----------



## CharlieD

Thank you everybody. We did use some stuff local drug stores sales. The lies are gone but the nits are still there. 

The reason we know that it was Not school because the whole school has been checked for it. Kids go to a very small private school. All parents know each other and most of us are friends. So I know for fact she did not get them in school.

We are washing and nearly sterilizing everything she use or comes in contact with. It’s been crazy. Thanks Michele.


----------



## corazon

This is making me mad today.
The Bellingham Herald / Top / Teens racing cause deadly crash, police say
Less than a year ago something similar happened in Bellingham. How did these kids forget so quickly?


----------



## kadesma

corazon90 said:
			
		

> This is making me mad today.
> The Bellingham Herald / Top / Teens racing cause deadly crash, police say
> Less than a year ago something similar happened in Bellingham. How did these kids forget so quickly?


Cora,
one thing I learned long ago..Teens do NOT believe that it will happen to them!  They just cannot fathom that when you die that's it. They have no idea the pain and sorrow that ripples out from their actions..I don't know how we can impress young people with the seriousness of  not being cautious. My daughters were forever rolling their eyes at me for telling them to be careful! Now, it has come home to them and guess what Cade,Carson,Ethan and Olivia hear?
kadesma


----------



## Katie H

Cora,

It really has nothing to do with forgetting.  Children, especially teens feel they are invincible.  They are also fascinated with dangerous things.  Speed, for example.  Death is what happens to someone else, old folks like adults.  They are immune because death CAN'T happen to them.  It's always their grandparents, etc. who die.  

WE know they are not, but we've had years of learning and experience and some of us even tasted some of the danger that causes severe consequences and, thankfully, didn't pay the full price.

And a year to a teen can seem like a lifetime and as a percentage of their lives it really IS a lifetime.  One year of 18 is a lifetime compared to one year of 30 or 40 or more years.  More in my case, so perhaps we can understand how they might view things differently.  It's sad but it happens more often than we'd like.

All I can say is, hold your children close.  Regardless, we have them for such a short time.  No parent wants to bury a child.


----------



## corazon

It really just makes me so sad.  I agree, teens do think they're invincible.  I can't imagine the guilt being felt by the young driver.  I don't think they realize how life can change so suddenly and drastically with one decision.  Car accidents are the number one killer of teens.

The accident that happened last year was a 16 year old going 70 in a 25, on a road with a lot of hills.  They were trying to "catch some air," it cost a 14 year old boy his life.


----------



## SizzlininIN

CharlieD said:
			
		

> Thank you everybody. We did use some stuff local drug stores sales. The lies are gone but the nits are still there.
> 
> The reason we know that it was Not school because the whole school has been checked for it. Kids go to a very small private school. All parents know each other and most of us are friends. So I know for fact she did not get them in school.
> 
> We are washing and nearly sterilizing everything she use or comes in contact with. It’s been crazy. Thanks Michele.


 
So sorry Charlie D that you and your family are having to deal with all that.....when it rains it showers.  I hope and pray it'll all do a complete turn around very soon and things get back to normal.


----------



## urmaniac13

corazon90 said:
			
		

> It really just makes me so sad. I agree, teens do think they're invincible. I can't imagine the guilt being felt by the young driver. I don't think they realize how life can change so suddenly and drastically with one decision. Car accidents are the number one killer of teens.
> 
> The accident that happened last year was a 16 year old going 70 in a 25, on a road with a lot of hills. They were trying to "catch some air," it cost a 14 year old boy his life.


 
CJ, and Cora, bless your precious little ones that they have such excellent, wise guardians by their sides.  I can trust that they will be kept safe, and taught good sense as they grow up... even if at times you mayannoy them to death but they will learn soon enough it is far better than driving themselves to death.  (((Hugs))) to each one of you!


----------



## Snoop Puss

Kadesma, how are the kids doing?


----------



## kadesma

Snoop Puss said:
			
		

> Kadesma, how are the kids doing?


Hi Snoop,
all three sickies are up and all better..Thanks for asking.

kadesma


----------



## Snoop Puss

Glad to hear it.

Now I have a question - I'll avoid the vent - there's plenty of worse situations here. Does anyone here have any experience of catheters for cats with renal failure?


----------



## lulu

Snoop, there is a chronic renine failure web support group....I'll try and find it for you if you like.....?  

NUMBER ONE ISSUE, what is your cat eating...DRIED FOOD IS THE WORST THING, even if a renal support food!


----------



## lulu

Drat, Snoop I have lost my addresses/webaddresses with that wretched ID fraud...I did a quick google and got this....feline-crf-info : Feline CRF Information

Someone I know from another forum is a great (amateur, but good) expert on CRF in cats, she is called Kim, and rescues CRF cats and is on two veterinary support groups for this....if you find her in the CRF group tell her Lulu who used to go to SOCOC recommended her.  In any case, I frequented the group a few times researching food for my own cat who has a different problem and the support seems great.  

Good luck.....diet and good (open minded) vet might not mean what you might think it means, if you can get those figures down ...I'll be praying for your cat.


----------



## spdrdr

We do so love our animals don't we? Snoop, Hope your cat is better every day. . . . .Glenda


----------



## Snoop Puss

Thanks lulu and Glenda. Unfortunately, we had to have him put to sleep. The vet came up with an enormous treatment regime but he had gone downhill so fast since our last visit that it was obviously going to be too much for him. All very sad.


----------



## lulu

So very sorry.


----------



## Katie H

My heart aches for you, Snoop Puss.  I know how difficult it is to see one of our furry children suffer and then have to make the decision to end the pain.

We are blessed with a loving, compassionate vet who cried along with us as we said good-bye to our beloved Justin Digger.

There is a special place in heaven for your kitty who will get to purr on your lap again someday.


----------



## urmaniac13

I am so sorry Snoop...  To lose such a beloved family member really takes away so much out of your life and heart... but try to look on the other side... he is no longer suffering, he went to a lovely place, young and happy again.  He will be watching over you and will be always a part of you in the special corner of your heart.  
He was so fortunate to have you during his time in this world.


----------



## SizzlininIN

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss Snoop  .  Your furry friend was blessed to have had you to love and care for it.


----------



## kadesma

Snoop,
I'm so sorry about our little pal. Take comfort in that you gave him a wonderful home and a lot of love..
kadesma


----------



## lulu

ARGGGGGGG

IN LAWS!!!!!!!

Please, please, please my friends, however little you think you have if you do not have an up to date will have one written, or write one and register it yourself THIS WEEK.  So you don't end up writing this very same vent.


----------



## Alix

Aww Snoop Puss, I'm so sorry. I was afraid thats what was going on when I read your post in the Friday Five. Thats just so hard. Big hugs to you. I hope when your heart stops hurting so badly you will get another fuzzy as a companion, your life is just so much richer when you share it with pets. 

lulu, Will? In Laws? EEK! I hope like heck you work things out QUICKLY.


----------



## SizzlininIN

lulu said:
			
		

> ARGGGGGGG
> 
> IN LAWS!!!!!!!
> 
> Please, please, please my friends, however little you think you have if you do not have an up to date will have one written, or write one and register it yourself THIS WEEK. So you don't end up writing this very same vent.


 
I feel for you Lulu.  It's been 1 1/2 years since my father died and I'm still dealing with his estate and he had a will.  Its a total mess and I just grin and bear it because what good is it going to do me its out of my hands as the state has came in an made a claim on the entire estate......now I'm just a pawn and am told by the lawyer what to do, when to do it and how. Supposibly I am to be compensated for my work but I doubt it will be a fraction of what I should be given.

I will advice anyone who has a loved one that has received assistance through the state in regards to a medical card to check with the state to see exactly what will transpire when the person receiving assistance passes away.  I was far warned by a friend that had to deal with the state coming in and staking claim.  She advice me to have my parents put their home and assests in us childrens names but dad was too proud and I could not approach him about this.  Thus in the end mom passed away and I thought we were safe because the state never staked a claim well it wasn't till about 3 months after my father passed away that the state came with their hand out.........$69,000.00 plus was their request.  Granted if it wasn't for them mom wouldn't of lived as long as she did so I really cannot be angry at them for stepping up and wanting their money back. So again, if your parents or yourself has received or is receiving medical assistance through your state check into this and make the necessary steps.  I know my ex has made sure that his assests are not in his name so that the state cannot come in and take what our sons are to inherit.


----------



## lulu

My m-i-l died 8 years ago last Tuesday...still rumbling on.  She died intestate.  Looks like my recently remarried F-i-l is keeping it all to buy a huge NYC place for him and new wife.  He is offering five thousand pounds over five years to each of his children.  Fair enough if they get nothing, except the property sold this week for six figure sum: and it ws my M-i-l's before her marriage to him.  I am SURE she would have expected her kids to get at least a resonable percentage of her own property!


----------



## Michelemarie

Snoop, I am sorry to hear of your loss.  I recently went through something similar, I am sorry you have to go through this.

Lulu, I'm sorry for your problems.  How frustrating!


----------



## PytnPlace

Snoop, so very sorry.  I recently went through that experience last year when we lost two kitties within 6 months due to kidney disease.  This week we learned that our doggie of 6/12 years has two torn ACL's requiring very expensive surgery.  He's a 70 pound mixed breed that we just adore to pieces.  Not sure if surgery will be an option for him.  Therefore, at this point, we are not sure what his future holds.  So I can sympathize with your heavy heart.  Please know that our thoughts are with you.


----------



## CharlieD

Snoop Puss said:
			
		

> Thanks lulu and Glenda. Unfortunately, we had to have him put to sleep. The vet came up with an enormous treatment regime but he had gone downhill so fast since our last visit that it was obviously going to be too much for him. All very sad.


 

I'm so sorry, after my last pet was gone I couldn't sleep for month. I still wake up dreaming about him. I told my wife I can't have pets anymore. I become so atach to them...


----------



## CharlieD

lulu said:
			
		

> My m-i-l died 8 years ago last Tuesday...still rumbling on. She died intestate. Looks like my recently remarried F-i-l is keeping it all to buy a huge NYC place for him and new wife. He is offering five thousand pounds over five years to each of his children. Fair enough if they get nothing, except the property sold this week for six figure sum: and it ws my M-i-l's before her marriage to him. I am SURE she would have expected her kids to get at least a resonable percentage of her own property!


 

Oh, terrible terible thing. My in-laws are alive and well, but 2 of my sisters-in-law, already telling us that we are etting nothing, that since we do not live in town they are going o get everything. O, no I don't want to even think about all of that, it's too early in the morning to get upset, becaus emy in-laws are not doing anything to prevent that from happening. And I doubt they ever will. Of course my parents who have very little already have everything in our names.


----------



## shannon in KS

ugh!  kinda was thinking about taking a nap!  Those weekend snoozes are so nice sometimes!  But right about the time I am talking myself into snuggling into my down comforter.... thud thud thud... neighbor's decide they would like to blare some fantastic gangsta rap.  I'm not knocking on any kind of music, but this is the kind my children shouldn't really hear.....   so instead of succumbing to sleepiness, I am mad.    and not sleepy anymore.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Is IT True?*



			
				lulu said:
			
		

> My m-i-l died 8 years ago last Tuesday...still rumbling on.  She died intestate.  Looks like my recently remarried F-i-l is keeping it all to buy a huge NYC place for him and new wife.  He is offering five thousand pounds over five years to each of his children.  Fair enough if they get nothing, except the property sold this week for six figure sum: and it ws my M-i-l's before her marriage to him.  I am SURE she would have expected her kids to get at least a resonable percentage of her own property!



Don't they always, always say 'MONEY root of all evil'?  Reading your quote only confirms it.  People never have enough.  The ones that have always seem to get more and don't want to share.  I never heard about wills till I got married.  Honestly, to me the wealth of someone never really attracted me.  I considered the person first.  Maybe I blessed to be raised by a mother who knew wisdom.  She managed to always have enough.  My in-laws were in oil business.  My family always received more from my mother t han from the his parents  who had not only one home but 5.   Plus cars were another commodity.  When my husband and I went through divorce, he requested EVERYTHING his family had given us.  Even things the deceased had given the kids. This was something I gladly returned.  Like everything, if it isn't given with a loving heart who wants it?  

Hope you will feel the same way soon!  As I said, is 'money the root of all evil'?  Only if you don't share.


----------



## lulu

I think I agree.  But I don't really want to share: I would rather we had nothing at this point.  We have been think a lot about thinking about starting a family, I don't think that this disharmony is the right environment in which to bring a new life into a family.  I fell if we get nothing than the relationship with DH's family is not one they have "bought from us".  That doesn't mean I am still not shocked by the unfairness of whats happening, but just that the horrific effects this is having on the people is not worth any price.  I have seen things about my in laws (the ones with the money and the ones going without) that I would rather not have known.    Thanks for the perspective In the kitchen.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Thanks*

Thanks lulu for trying to understand what I say.  After 25 years and so much heartache for the kids, I would not allow this feeling to grab hold of me.  If you have a good husband that alone is priceless and I mean priceless. He will also be thankful that you are not going to allow this type of treatment to affect your relationship with him.  It will make him grow in character and I know we are always learning from one another; he will truly learn from you if you can ignore this.  Believe me having children who are ignored is much more hurtful than enduring the pain yourself.  I realize now after all this, my adult children,  consider having happiness over material wealth.  May not be millionaires but truly their heart is in right place.  Am I thankful for that!  Only took long time for me to realize how this all would turn out.  Being wealthy does not make one happy, may help, but not answer.


----------



## expatgirl

My wonderful m-i-l died in October-----what a huge loss.  None of us except my s-i-l  who was taking care of her knew how much she really had------just wished that she had spent more on herself but she was a child of the Great Depression and therefore  very frugal.  As someone has already posted it is SO important to leave a will-----it saves so much grief and confusion later on.   There are some crazy laws out there that you might not be aware of if you or a family member die w/o a will. Case in point.  My father adopted my stepsister before shipping out to Viet Nam--our stepmother did not adopt the 4 of us because they were told it wasn't necessary-----WRONG!!  My step-mom died before our father with no will.  Guess what Texas law has to say about what happens if he died (which he did five years later)????  Stepsister is entitled to HALF the assets and the rest of us 1/5 with her  getting the additional 1/5!!!!!!!  Kid you not!!!  Since my father was in a full care facility by this time she was kind enough to sign a quit claim as we didn't know how long he would live and it was very expensive.  We all know that our parents would have wanted everything to be divided up equally but that's NOT what Texas law would have said---all because there was no will.  And had my s-sister been very greedy she would have legally gotten most of everything.  Instead the sister who was overlooking his affairs got nearly everything because we weren't told of a land inheritance worth a lot of money until many years down the road.  But that's another story-----and it's her conscience.


----------



## crewsk

I'm about ready to scream!! I took TC back to the ortho today & although he is no longer limping, the doc wants to see him again in 2 weeks. Mainly because when the hip area is pressed, TC is still in pain. The doc said today that there sems to be some deep swelling around the growth plate. When we go back, he'll take another x-ray. If he's still having any pain, then we'll do an MRI. The good news is that as he gets older & the growth plate closes, he won't have any more problems.


----------



## kadesma

crewsk said:
			
		

> I'm about ready to scream!! I took TC back to the ortho today & although he is no longer limping, the doc wants to see him again in 2 weeks. Mainly because when the hip area is pressed, TC is still in pain. The doc said today that there sems to be some deep swelling around the growth plate. When we go back, he'll take another x-ray. If he's still having any pain, then we'll do an MRI. The good news is that as he gets older & the growth plate closes, he won't have any more problems.


Oh for heavens sake. That poor boy. How long does the doctor plan to let this go on? Seems to me he should have sent TC for x-rays today! Hang in there mom, hopefully you wil have an answer soon and TC can move toward being pain free and a kid having fun.

kadesma


----------



## crewsk

Thanks kades! They did an x-ray the first time I took him, he just wants another one when we go back to see if there has been any change. I doubt very seriously there will be anything new since the first one was normal & he has not gotten any worse. Granted he's doing better, but I'm tired of having to get him out of school early or take him in late to make the 30 minute drive to the doc's office. I know he's getting tired of it too, he told me today when we left that he'd be glad when he didn't have to have someone poking at his hip every week.


----------



## AllenOK

In an effort to keep drinking some fluids, we've been making an effort to NOT buy as much soda, and to buy some non-caffienated drinks that both the kids and the adults will drink.  I'm also trying to steer clear of drinks laden with sugar.  Thusly:

<rant>

Why, WHY!?!?  Must the predominate, and sometimes, ONLY, flavor of sugar-free Koolaid available be Tropical Punch?  I can't stand that stuff!  Why not some other basic flavors, like a s/f grape, orange, etc.?

</rant>


----------



## SizzlininIN

Sorry Crewsk .... I can only imagine how frustrating this must be for all of you.  I've had several friends who have dealt with similar situations (not the symptoms as TJ but going back and forth with no solid answers) and they requested a referral to a doctor a childrens hospital close by (Rileys) and after they saw the doctors there they got the answers they were looking for. Just a thought.


----------



## crewsk

Thanks Sizz! The doc he's seeing is a part of the children's hospital, that's another thing that makes it so frustrating.

Allen, I feel your pain!! I hate tropical punch flavored anything. It just leaves a nasty taste in my mouth.


----------



## luvs

allen, i hear you. i'm caffeine-free & drink juices & fruit drinks or pop like gingerale 'cept they're so sugary- i dilute mine often. look around; you'll likely find some other flavors to drink. took me awhile, then i found drinks i'd drink.


----------



## AllenOK

Oh, we have others, as well.  We keep juice around for the kids, and I usually keep some powered gatorade handy.  I'm just venting frustration, since PeppA bought the gritty, Tropical Punch Koolaid.

<rant>

What's with the price of eggs?  It's been going up non-stop for over a month now?  I just looked at the grocery store today, and a 60-pack (5 dz), costs almost $9US!

</rant>


----------



## Katie H

AllenOK said:
			
		

> What's with the price of eggs?  It's been going up non-stop for over a month now?  I just looked at the grocery store today, and a 60-pack (5 dz), costs almost $9US!



I'm with you, Allen.  What the crap!  I am goin' goofy over eggs here, too.  About a month ago I was paying 49 cents a dozen.  Wednesday they were $1.19 a dozen.  Have the chickens unionized?


----------



## luvs

chix unionized, yep. my organic eggs that i get, whew! 'bout a million per carton! healthy food is expensive!


----------



## lulu

Just need to SCREAM about the landlord.  There that feels better


----------



## Jeekinz

I can't stand some of the reviews for recipies on FNW.com.  These people should stick to ordering out.


----------



## Uncle Bob

Ok..we went out last night to celebrate my daughter's birthday...had a grand time and pretty good food(I am hard to impress) Anyway I order a Wild Turkey 101 neat....It comes to the table...the smell is wrong..the taste not right.. Instead of bothering the little waitress I walk to the bar..had a "conversation" with the bar-keep..He poured me another out of a WT 101 bottle.....returned to the table.. after a few sips..THIS IS NOT WILD TURKEY! rather than make scene I let it go! Towards the end of the evening I had a chance to "visit" with the Manager..He came back later an said he agreed..something was not right. Brought me another drink out of a "fresh" bottle...This time was WT 101. He comped(sp) the drinks!
My younger son worked tables for a spell while in school and he said the owner's regularly put Taka vodka into Grey Goose bottles...So anyway Buyer beware!


----------



## Jeekinz

Had the same crap happen to me! Nothing like ruining a night with the first cocktail.


----------



## redkitty

UncleB, thats just cr*p!  At least he comped the drinks.  I always wonder about this too, being a vodka snob I always get Belvedere or GG.  And on a few occasions it didnt taste so good!


----------



## Uncle Bob

Well I may could be "duped" on Vodka, gin, rum,scotch maybe.. but not Bourbons...especially those that I drink and have in my bunker!!
I am very familiar with the Wild Turkey bourbons...I love WT Rare Breed...
Most food joints, around here at least, don't offer the Top Shelf labels/brands..rather going with the "well" brands...Lower shelf labels and charging Big time prices....Alcohol is "big bucks"(profit) in the restaurant business! "Call" brands/labels they really "take care of business"


----------



## Jeekinz

I took a bartending class years ago.  This is what's called "Marrying a Bottle"...and if there are any bar/restaraunt owners reading this, you know well that it is very much illegal.

Speaking of bar etiquette, what ever happened to "Last pour is on the house" rule?


----------



## SizzlininIN

Uncle Bob said:
			
		

> Ok..we went out last night to celebrate my daughter's birthday...had a grand time and pretty good food(I am hard to impress) Anyway I order a Wild Turkey 101 neat....It comes to the table...the smell is wrong..the taste not right.. Instead of bothering the little waitress I walk to the bar..had a "conversation" with the bar-keep..He poured me another out of a WT 101 bottle.....returned to the table.. after a few sips..THIS IS NOT WILD TURKEY! rather than make scene I let it go! Towards the end of the evening I had a chance to "visit" with the Manager..He came back later an said he agreed..something was not right. Brought me another drink out of a "fresh" bottle...This time was WT 101. He comped(sp) the drinks!
> My younger son worked tables for a spell while in school and he said the owner's regularly put Taka vodka into Grey Goose bottles...So anyway Buyer beware!


 
Okay I have to fess up.....Forgive me dad  ...... when I was in my late teens my girlfriends and I decided we wanted to make ourselves some Screwdrivers.  Well dad had a large bottle .... I think its called a 5th....of Vodka and we proceeded to make ourselves a drink and then another and before we knew it there was only like a 4th left.  Well I knew dad wasn't a vodka drinker and still wasn't sure why the heck he had it but I had the brilliant idea to just add water.  Well little did I know that dad ended up giving that bottle to the local bar that he frequented... .  Those poor poor customers and not to mention the bartender whom I'm sure got many complaints. 

Sorry for you imposter Uncle Bob!


----------



## mudbug

I have spent all morning getting various Microsoft security updates downloaded and installed on my home computer so that I could log into the VPN (virtual private network) at the office.  Many hours later, I still can't connect because so many others are trying to work from home like me!

It's Wednesday and I can only bill for 6 hours of work this week so far.
Tomorrow's gonna be a loooooooooong day.


----------



## Alix

Ugh. You know the best thing about working from home mudbug? No one is around to tell you not to drink on the job.  

I completely understand your frustration and sympathize. Hope it all works out soon.


----------



## mudbug

I'm going to take that as permission, Alix!  I'll wait until 3 pm, just to be ladylike.

Thanks for the pat on the back and the sympathy.


----------



## Alix

You know, as my Dad used to say, "the sun is over the yardarm SOMEWHERE in the world". 

I know its only a half hour away, but hey, in Europe they are finished dinner and its brandy time.


----------



## DampCharcoal

Alix said:
			
		

> Ugh. You know the best thing about working from home mudbug? No one is around to tell you not to drink on the job.
> 
> I completely understand your frustration and sympathize. Hope it all works out soon.


 
Alix, I'm embarrassed to admit that as long as I've known you, I have absolutely no clue what you do for a living. Whatever it is, it must be pretty sweet if you can drink on the job!


----------



## Alix

DampCharcoal said:
			
		

> Alix, I'm embarrassed to admit that as long as I've known you, I have absolutely no clue what you do for a living. Whatever it is, it must be pretty sweet if you can drink on the job!


 
Heh heh heh! I don't get to drink on the job, but let me tell you there are moments I wish I COULD!! (I'm a therapist and I work in a residential facility that caters to adolescents and their families)


----------



## shpj4

I have been having major Panic Attacks and yesterday a friend took me to Kaiser and I learned that my blood pressure was extremely high.  I take blood pressure pills every day but apparently those are not helping.

All in all I am not feeling so good.


----------



## mudbug

*I Have To Continue Venting & Ask For Help*

sorry, all

One of the many "updates" I had downloaded and installed today was IE 7, whose new toolbar apparently hides or does not include an icon for Favorites.  The only bookmark button I see is for Google.

Are all those links lost?  I have them on Firefox, but don't know how to transfer them back to IE without copying and pasting each and every dadgum one.


----------



## mudbug

never mind.  I just found it.


----------



## urmaniac13

I am not too crazy about IE7 either... ever since we installed it everything slowed down on the net. We checked everything else but seems a-okay, combining with some feedbacks from Cris's colleagues and clients, we decided it is the fault of IE7. It is really trying our patience.

I was not crazy about the new version of Photoshop CS2 either, I don't know whether we found a defective copy, but it doesn't take any keyboard command, so we just switched back to the original CS edition. Uffa!!


----------



## jkath

Hope you're doing better, shpj4.

Mud & urmaniac, at least you know what those thingies are. I have no clue!

Meanwhile my dog & kitty are locked up, since I'm getting a new sliding door put in, and they're sad


----------



## -DEADLY SUSHI-

shpj4 I have been taking freshly ground cinnamon for my high blood pressure. It works! I take a tablespoon every day. And it has gone down! 
I also get panic attacks. And have been in the ER about once every 6 months.   Sometimes I have to take a ambulance.  Get yourself Xanex. It has 'saved' me many times. 
I hope and pray youre doing alright.


----------



## Snoop Puss

Deadly Sushi, that is one huge amount of cinnamon. Not sure where you came up with that for a dosage. You need to be careful with cinnamon as it is potentially carcinogenic in large amounts, though beneficial at lower doses. I've been having a look on the Web. The recommendations I've seen are for no more than a teaspoon a day. Have a look at:

Cancer   By


----------



## jkath

boy do I need to vent...
Yesterday I got 2 new tires to replace the balding ones! (*ouch!*)
Last night dh's car's engine nearly overheated, so he got a rental car (*little ouch*) and today his buddy, the mechanic said it needed a new water pump (*ouch!!)
Today my house only had cold water. So, I tried to restart the pilot light. No luck, so the Gas Company guy said since my water heater was only a couple of years old, it was the "new model that nobody can get into", so, yep, you guessed it, tomorrow I have to buy and have installed a new one. (*ouch!!!)
I just finished paying the sliding door guy (*ouch!!!!)

and now I'm taking the kids over to mil's for their hot showers.


----------



## PA Baker

I hate those days where it seems like all you do is give other people money, jkath!

We've had more frustration in the last 24 hours than anyone should have!   DH was able to get home to help clear out from the storm.  We had about 5-6" of snow, topped by a good couple inches of ice, then more snow.  DH got one swipe of the driveway done with the snow blower and a tire blew out!   Luckily, the car garage up the road from us said that if we could get the tire there, they'd fix it.  We couldn't get the tire off so DH had to load the whole blower in the back of the car, just about breaking his back in the process.

Today, we had our new mattress delivered.  We hated to spend the $$ right now but we really, really needed a new one.  They guys brought in the new one, and as they took the old one down the steps the box springs got caught on the banister.  Rather than lifting up the box springs, they just rammed right through, ripping our banister off!   They claimed they didn't do it and that it was like that when they got here.  Ha!  DH refused to sign the delivery slip saying that everything was OK, so they took back the new mattress, brought the old one back in, dragging it through the slush.  DH spent all day on the phone with the store and the store's headquarters in MD and he was pretty much told tough--take the mattress or not.  They're standing by their delivery guys who swear they did nothing and won't believe DH.

Sofie is still working on her miserable molar, had her 15 mo check-up today and is having a tough time from the shot they gave her.  I woke up yesterday with a horrendous headache and was told today that I have yet another sinus infection.  I have a dentist appt next week and DH has an eye Dr appt and both offices called today to tell us that suddenly they don't have any insurance record for us--ins has accidentally dropped us and now we have to get that straightened out, too!

Let's hope tomorrow is a little easier!


----------



## SizzlininIN

jkath said:
			
		

> boy do I need to vent...
> Yesterday I got 2 new tires to replace the balding ones! (*ouch!*)
> Last night dh's car's engine nearly overheated, so he got a rental car (*little ouch*) and today his buddy, the mechanic said it needed a new water pump (*ouch!!)
> Today my house only had cold water. So, I tried to restart the pilot light. No luck, so the Gas Company guy said since my water heater was only a couple of years old, it was the "new model that nobody can get into", so, yep, you guessed it, tomorrow I have to buy and have installed a new one. (*ouch!!!)
> I just finished paying the sliding door guy (*ouch!!!!)
> 
> and now I'm taking the kids over to mil's for their hot showers.


 
Sorry jkath....."When it rains it pours"!


----------



## jkath

tell ya what, I'll just take some rain and get rid of this warm spell! That would make me happy!
Actually, I can at least say that my new door is beautiful. Here's Milgard's  stock photo of it:


----------



## urmaniac13

Wow Jkath, that door would make any day a little sunnier!!  We are also looking for a glass door into the balcone of our new flat, that is one inspiration!!  And look at that shiny floor that reflects the beautiful door!!  I hope you won't have to vent about how hard you have to work on keeping it that way!! 


Ugh, life is full of fun and games, isn't it PA!!  As if going to see a doc is not bad enough, problems with insurance!!  I really hope you will all be fit soon so you won't have to worry about that, and those matress people... that is some customer service, it is not an Italian company is it? (sounds like something happens regularly here!!) Chances are you have yet to talk to the right person or department, you ought to be entitled for a proper compensation for the damage!!  Try persisting and not let them have their way.  I will keep my fingers crossed for ya!


----------



## SizzlininIN

PA Baker said:
			
		

> I hate those days where it seems like all you do is give other people money, jkath!
> 
> We've had more frustration in the last 24 hours than anyone should have! DH was able to get home to help clear out from the storm. We had about 5-6" of snow, topped by a good couple inches of ice, then more snow. DH got one swipe of the driveway done with the snow blower and a tire blew out! Luckily, the car garage up the road from us said that if we could get the tire there, they'd fix it. We couldn't get the tire off so DH had to load the whole blower in the back of the car, just about breaking his back in the process.
> 
> Today, we had our new mattress delivered. We hated to spend the $$ right now but we really, really needed a new one. They guys brought in the new one, and as they took the old one down the steps the box springs got caught on the banister. Rather than lifting up the box springs, they just rammed right through, ripping our banister off! They claimed they didn't do it and that it was like that when they got here. Ha! DH refused to sign the delivery slip saying that everything was OK, so they took back the new mattress, brought the old one back in, dragging it through the slush. DH spent all day on the phone with the store and the store's headquarters in MD and he was pretty much told tough--take the mattress or not. They're standing by their delivery guys who swear they did nothing and won't believe DH.
> 
> Sofie is still working on her miserable molar, had her 15 mo check-up today and is having a tough time from the shot they gave her. I woke up yesterday with a horrendous headache and was told today that I have yet another sinus infection. I have a dentist appt next week and DH has an eye Dr appt and both offices called today to tell us that suddenly they don't have any insurance record for us--ins has accidentally dropped us and now we have to get that straightened out, too!
> 
> Let's hope tomorrow is a little easier!


 
Boy you too had a rotten day...sorry PA! Your story with the delivery guys reminds me of the last home we renovated and sold. I'd spent 2 days hanging wallpaper, paining and putting up the trim in one room. The following day the carpet layers came and totally destroyed all my work. Wallpaper was torn, gouges in the trim and the paint was all scratched up....not to mention the huge gouge in the oak trim on the lower landings stairs where they missed with what appears to be a hammer head. I was devestated. Company made it right and paid for my time and gave us a store credit for all the materials needed but again it took me all the time again to go back to the store and to do all the work all over again. Come to find out the company just hired out to have the carpet laid....it wasn't even one of their employees. I'll def. be sure to ask that before I have carpet laid in this home. 

Hope you and jkaths day is better today!


----------



## urmaniac13

Oh Sizz, don't scare me... we are about to do the complete rennovation of our new flat!!   

We are right now at the stage of choosing which group of interior workers, we know we need to be very careful to select the right people... not an easy task!!


----------



## SizzlininIN

urmaniac13 said:
			
		

> Oh Sizz, don't scare me... we are about to do the complete rennovation of our new flat!!
> 
> We are right now at the stage of choosing which group of interior workers, we know we need to be very careful to select the right people... not an easy task!!


 
Sorry but I'm just as scared as you because within the next month or so I'll be tackling the painting / trim project in a room and having the carpet installed.  I'm going to tell the workers straight up about my prior experience as soon as they come inside because I want them to be extra careful. I'll do it nice and sweet though. I'll be especially devestated this time because I'm doing a special painting technique where it'll look antique or old world on the trim and thats extremely time consuming.


----------



## urmaniac13

Cris is also very wary, as he already have some less than pleasant experience with this kind of workers. Actually he loves and very good at DIY and would have done it all by himself only if he had the time. 
But he may have to spend a whole lot of time all the same supervising them, just to make sure they will get it right. Unfortunately I, who can be available for the task most of the time, am pretty much useless, having lived in apartment complexes or rented property for most of my life, this is my first "home improvement" experience ever, I really have no idea what to watch out for!!

Well, good luck to both of us!!


----------



## Half Baked

urmaniac13 said:
			
		

> Cris is also very wary, as he already have some less than pleasant experience with this kind of workers. Actually he loves and very good at DIY and would have done it all by himself only if he had the time.
> But he may have to spend a whole lot of time all the same supervising them, just to make sure they will get it right. Unfortunately I, who can be available for the task most of the time, am pretty much useless, having lived in apartment complexes or rented property for most of my life, this is my first "home improvement" experience ever, I really have no idea what to watch out for!!
> 
> Well, good luck to both of us!!


 
Bless you my child...I'll be thinking of you.  No matter how long you expect it to take, multipy it by 4.


----------



## urmaniac13

Half Baked said:
			
		

> Bless you my child...I'll be thinking of you. No matter how long you expect it to take, multipy it by 4.


 
Tell me about it!!  We acquired this flat at the end of last year, and Cris thought we would be moving in by March, and nothing have actually started as yet!!


----------



## babyhuggies

my thoughts are with all of you doing home renos---yuck-but so nice in the end.

I'm venting because i'm sick again(or still). It is in my chest.Feels like i'm breathing through a sheet of paper.Always coughing.I was taking a chest decongestint,but started feeling better so stopped ,but now 3 days later i feel worse than before.Since the BF is gone for 10 days at a time i'm the left doing it all.We live so far out of town,and when it snows oh my i  hate it  the driveway is so long and so much work(no,we don't have a snowblower.i wish) I love my girls,but i am so tired of the mentally of a teenager--only thinking of themselves first...it's a little hard to take sometimes ,more so now when i feel so rotten.I didn't want but think i need to go to the doctor...what a why to spend the few days doug is home...sick. We were to go to dinner(belated v-day) but no babysitter(girls again) until sunday when they aren't busy. Not how i was hoping to spend my weekend.


----------



## Half Baked

BabyHuggies, I don't mean to kick you when you're sick and down but.....

imho you need to take control. You need some rest to help your immune system catch up. Heck with the teenage attitude - her job is to shovel the driveway. Maybe some friends will help her.

I'm sure she's able to make a breakfast/lunch/dinner with some instruction from you (in bed!). You will be no good to anyone if you're sickly and weak. Take some time for yourself. Bejeezus, you're sick.

Can't the teen babysit? Maybe she needs to shoulder some more responsibility. If she helps out, perhaps it's the time to lighten up on a restriction. Maybe let her stay out a 1/2 hr or hour later on the weekend.


----------



## jkath

urmaniac & sizz - before these people even give you a bid, make them show you all their credentials!!! I'm not sure what they have in Italy, but as for you, sizz, make sure they are licensed, bonded and insured and that their workman's comp is up to date. This will save you the possibility of a lawsuit!
I got lucky finding my glass guy. I went through an online service (it's the same one I used when I had my palm trees removed) that pre-screens contractors. You can also see what other people have said about their work.


babyhuggies, Jan's right - you need rest, girl! Sometimes teenagers really can be a bit, well, lazy, but tell her you really need her help and thank her in advance for doing it. BTW, by your photo, I'd have guessed you at being young enough to only having tiny tots!


----------



## SizzlininIN

Thanks for the tip jkath.....I just assumed they were already checked out by the company that hired them out but will check myself.

Urmaniac......this is our 3rd house that we've completely remodeled.....we'll this one is still a work in project.  This one is the most work because it involves more rooms.  It'll take us at least 5 years to complete but when we purchased it we planned for this to be the last home we ever owned but I'm shamlessly admitting we're now considering selling it when we're done  .  We made almost double our investment in the last home and would do the same with this one too.  Thankfully DH and I love to remodel homes.....its so much fun to make it your own. No matter there are things we've bought in this home that I'll encorporate in any future home if thats the case. I highly recommend granite countertops and sinks....love love love them.  Totally would not recommend laminate floors though....spend the extra and get the real thing.

Ok.....back to the topic  

BabyHuggies.......sounds like you've got a bacterial infection since its not giving up on you and you really do need an antibiotic to get rid of it.  In the meantime if you have orange juice start chugging it ..... that is if your not a diabetic.  Hope you feel better soon.


----------



## babyhuggies

thank you all for the"tips"  I did see a doctor this evening and he told me that my chest is clear it may be somesort of infection on its own or one that triggers my athma--his advice  wait it out.....Big help that was  
 so i bought some extra strength cold stuff and have my puffer.If i don't feel better in the next few days  I'll go back...
As for the teens my BF had a little chat with them about helping me when they are at home while he is gone.


----------



## Snoop Puss

Be careful using your puffer, babyhuggies. I'd ask the doctor about that. If you have got an infection, using your puffer can send it into areas it hasn't yet reached.

If you haven't got an infection, might it be stress related? Or perhaps some kind of allergy?

I too have asthma and one year I thought it was very bad. Turned out we had a small patch of damp in the flat that had some mould. In the end, my coughing was only indirectly the asthma because I was allergic to the mould spores.


----------



## Half Baked

Snoop Puss said:
			
		

> Be careful using your puffer, babyhuggies. I'd ask the doctor about that. If you have got an infection, using your puffer can send it into areas it hasn't yet reached.
> 
> If you haven't got an infection, might it be stress related? Or perhaps some kind of allergy?


 
I didn't know that about puffers!  Thanks for the info.

I know my asthma acts up when I am stressed out and if I'm sick or frustrated, it can really get bad.

Babyhuggies, are the teens your BF's kids?


----------



## Snoop Puss

Half Baked, always ask your doctor for advice about this. Asthma is a terrible disease to have. I'm fortunate in that mine is only mild, my dad's is terrible, and I have a friend whose daughter is currently in intensive care following a major attack. I almost didn't post my comment because only a doctor will be able to say for sure what you should do. It's one of those conditions that you get so used to, you get blasé about it. But you do have to be careful.


----------



## Half Baked

Definately I'll ask my doc. I'm very careful since I've been in intensive care many times myself. Not breathing is exhausting, horrible and painful.


----------



## csalt

http://

*I have only just 'discovered' this thread.*
*I'm so sorry you've all had such a stressful time and hope things take an upturn soon for all of you.*
*Do you have 'positive' as well as 'negative' vents?*
*If so here's one.*
*Our daughter emailed me today to tell me that she's booking me into a hotel for 2 nights next week. It's very near to the hospital my husband will be in  for 5 to 10 days from Wed. when he has his op. I am overwhelmed at her thoughtfulness as she knows I'm not a 'natural' city driver and she wanted me to have 2 days off from the 1½ hour drive each way. That, despite the fact that she is a single parent and has more than enough on her plate. It has really warmed my heart and it will be wonderful not having to do the drive for those 2 days. *


----------



## babyhuggies

that was very nice of your daughter. IT will at least be acouple days less stressful for you. Hope eveything goes well.


even though i am not 100 % i feel a bit better.But when my son woke up this morning  it wasn't good. Poor little is so hot and weak. it's slways sad when a little one gets sick.
we were going to go for your special greek dinner tonight, but if the boy still isn't keep stuff down then i guess we will be home or the clinic. one more day left of the BF days off--wonder what can happen tomorrow


----------



## csalt

I'm so sorry about your little one. It's always so heart wrenching when a child is ill. I do hope he will feel better soon and you as well. Stress doesn't make for good health either does it.
Hope tomorrow is a better day.


----------



## kadesma

csalt said:
			
		

> I'm so sorry about your little one. It's always so heart wrenching when a child is ill. I do hope he will feel better soon and you as well. Stress doesn't make for good health either does it.
> Hope tomorrow is a better day.


Hi csalt,
we do have a positive thread, it's called celebrations you can find it here:

http://www.discusscooking.com/forums/f26/celebrations-28998.html 


kadesma


----------



## csalt

Many thanks kadesma. Sorry if I keep 'getting it wrong' there's so much to learn, discover and explore here that I keep rushing off in different directions.
Will probably be absent for a while after Wed. as I will be making daily journeys to visit Ian in hospital.
Thanks again.


----------



## lulu

This is a really teeny tiny vent, but for anyone who has curly hair, they'll get what I'm on about.  I have finished the huge supply of frizzease I bought with me to Italy, I have not found it anywhere here yet, and I am DREADING the onset of bad frizz!  I have manicly curly/fizzy hair, and I hardly know how I coped before frizzease......al my other products are really easily available, but not the serum!  Oh well, some experimentation will ensue I guess!


----------



## DampCharcoal

I'm going out of my mind with stress. A number of issues have been building for a year or so and I haven't been myself lately. I think it's finally getting to me but I don't know how to deal with it. I was on the verge of quitting booze for good but everything kind of came to a head at about the same time recently and I started drinking heavily again, which is not good. I have every reason to be thankful for everything in my life yet a few key issues have gotten me all topsy-turvy. AARGH! I had to get all that off my chest. Feel free to call the nice men in white suits.


----------



## kadesma

DampCharcoal said:
			
		

> I'm going out of my mind with stress. A number of issues have been building for a year or so and I haven't been myself lately. I think it's finally getting to me but I don't know how to deal with it. I was on the verge of quitting booze for good but everything kind of came to a head at about the same time recently and I started drinking heavily again, which is not good. I have every reason to be thankful for everything in my life yet a few key issues have gotten me all topsy-turvy. AARGH! I had to get all that off my chest. Feel free to call the nice men in white suits.


DC,
we all have stress, and we all handle it a different way..Me, my gang run for the hills cuz, I've been know to just pick up whatever and give it a heave ho out the first door I find! You say you were about to not drink anymore, that is wonderful, and I know you know this, but drinking on top of the stress only makes it worse. Plus it can add another stress. The stress of having your health go south and having to deal with that day after day..Be kind to yourself, pitch the booze, take a deep breath, come here and chat with us more, do things you enjoy that are stress relievers for you. We want you with us for a long time..Whatever that is bothering you, is not worth ruining your life and health for.
kadesma


----------



## csalt

kadesma said:
			
		

> DC,
> we all have stress, and we all handle it a different way..Me, my gang run for the hills cuz, I've been know to just pick up whatever and give it a heave ho out the first door I find! You say you were about to not drink anymore, that is wonderful, and I know you know this, but drinking on top of the stress only makes it worse. Plus it can add another stress. The stress of having your health go south and having to deal with that day after day..Be kind to yourself, pitch the booze, take a deep breath, come here and chat with us more, do things you enjoy that are stress relievers for you. We want you with us for a long time..Whatever that is bothering you, is not worth ruining your life and health for.
> kadesma


Damp Charcoal  those words of kadesma's are spot on. Could you write down a list of things you like to do?
walking
reading
meditating
listening to music
swimming
going to the gymn
coming here
Try to do at least one of them for a period of time every day and let your friends listen to and help you. People are wonderfully caring as a rule


----------



## DampCharcoal

Kadesma, you're absolutely right. I'm trying really hard and I do enjoy exercise and hard work. Csalt, I love doing everything you said but I'm unfamiliar with meditation.


----------



## kadesma

DampCharcoal said:
			
		

> Kadesma, you're absolutely right. I'm trying really hard and I do enjoy exercise and hard work. Csalt, I love doing everything you said but I'm unfamiliar with meditation.


DC, there isn't a man I know who doesn't enjoy working hard, playing hard, but they have a hard time just doing something like reading, watching a movie in the middle of the day, turning off the lawn mower and flying a kite with a child or grandchild. Why? I suppose it's the age old thing..MEN work, woman cook and clean..Men are made to feel somethimes as if they are slackers if they take time to enjoy life..I say phooey to all that, do something for your self for a change..Your life doesn't have to only be about giving,,share it, enjoy it, it only comes once and then it's someone elses turn..Meditation, can be something as simple as sitting on the grass under a tree on a warm day, just musing about something that gave you great pleasure..Like, remember when dad took you to that ballgame,the fun you had, or mom spent the morning with you baking your favorite cookies, your wedding day, your first child, or just gazing about you at what nature has to offer...Keep trying DC, you're strong and young and you can do this!

kadesma


----------



## DampCharcoal

Kadesma, I haven't been completely forthcoming. The situation is much deeper than I ever imagined.


----------



## DampCharcoal

Nevermind. Let's drop it, shall we?


----------



## kadesma

DampCharcoal said:
			
		

> Nevermind. Let's drop it, shall we?


Sure, not a problem..Take care of youself..

kadesma


----------



## csalt

DampCharcoal said:
			
		

> Nevermind. Let's drop it, shall we?


 
You drop it, we've caught it and will keep you in our thoughts so you are in a safety net


----------



## SizzlininIN

DampC....I pm'd you.  Keep in mind if you ever need to talk just give me a shout. Take care of yourself.....we're all here for you.....we want to help if you'll let us.


----------



## lulu

A silly, self induce head against a brickwall moment.  I am staying with a friend this weekend, and planned to take her a cake. She is difficult to cook for because of food allergies but my usual lemon/almond cake seems alright, and in any case her husband can eat it. Annoyingly I don't have scales here so spent ages googling cup/g conversions for differnt ingrediants, except the butter, which was exactly half a pack.  I just went to check it and it was swimming in butter and turning into abiscuit....I looked around and realise I have thrown in the whole pack of butter insteaad of half.  I'm kicking myself.  I'll have to go out for more stuff now, and wasted perfectly good food.


----------



## Katalyst

So sorry, Lulu!  Sounds close to the makings for shortbread though.  Best of luck with the re-do!


----------



## SizzlininIN

I'm sorry also Lulu....I know how frustrating that can be.


----------



## Katalyst

*MIL for sale!*

Grrrr, sometimes, with me, anyway, it's not the little things so much as it is ALL the little things that build up. I know it's not healthy for me or the rest of the household, and I am trying to get a grip. MIL is constantly rearranging my stuff in the kitchen, knowing full well I don't like it. I've told her I keep things where I do for reasons. 
Yesterday, unloading the dishwasher, I noticed my toy drawer looked off. Then it hits me, my dry-measuring cups are gone. So I go hunting. I find them in the drawer that she had asked me to reserve as "her" drawer only. She'd not just put them there, but buried them under her rolling pin, mandoline (ouch!) and her set of nasty old plastic measuring cups. Alongside my immersion blender she insisted was hers. Mind you, she has three sets of measuring cups and does not need mine. I don't use hers because she doesn't keep things clean. I find things of mine weekly that have magically made their way into "her"drawer. The blender, my wire whisks, cookie scoops, dough scrapers, etc. You name it, she claims it. Despite the fact that some of my things have my initials etched in from when I'd take things to work with me. And she already has more than one of everything she takes from me. 
DH wants me to be nice about it, insisting that she means well. I disagree, because she knows full well what she's doing and I've made clear to her that I put things in certain places because I blind-reach for things as I work and expect them to be there. She likes to think of herself as a gourmet cook and owns 100s of cookbooks and more toys than she'll ever use, taking up about 75% of the cupboards in the kitchen of my house. But she rarely cooks. I told DH I tolerate her domination of the cupboard space on the condition that MY stuff be left where I put it.
She self-medicates, booze, pills, etc. I've had to put key locks on my bedroom door and my home office so she stays out of my papers and my medicine cabinet. I'm getting close to doing the same with the kitchen.
Gosh, did I ramble, and I am sorry. This looks petty, I know. It's actually the tip of a complicated iceberg. The kitchen is just too close to my heart. Thanks for listening, to those of you that have read this far. I do feel better just for having gotten this out.


----------



## lulu

I so feel your pain,and I bet I'd have fun swapping in law stories with you!  Unfortunately things with my in laws are at a low right now, and I no longer have to live with them, which is great, but when I see caller id I still flinch, so I know how you feel.  

I used to have a whole load of coping mechanisms for that reach for the drawer/cupboard and its gone moment....sort of personal rewards that me and DH planned, like, if X happened and I did not react to it he would bring me a glass of wine in the bath, or I'd get a back rub or something.  Vice versa.  It doesn't stop the annoying behaviour and the light behind your eyes still flashes when x happens, but you need to know there is something positive, because you have to have a long term sanity preservation technique!


----------



## Half Baked

I don't think you're being petty at all.  Since you and your husband were nice enough to have her live with you, she should be more gracious.

I think it's really sad that her behavior has caused you to put locks on some doors.  There's no excuse for her acting like that.

When I read things like this, I am always amazed.  It's hard to believe that people act like that.  I thought it was tv 'comedy' but I've learned from the internet that this does go on.


----------



## lulu

HB you would be AMAZED at what people do....I always am.  Like the time I cleaned out the linen cupboard (agreed was acceptable and very neceassary with all the family/in laws) I laundered it all, ironed it all, tied the sets together and folded everything else into piles, all easy to get at instead of one big jumbled moth eaten heap, and my s-i-l pulled it all out on to the floor, and left it there, because she "was looking for something" when I dared utter that I thought that a few days work had been destroyed and left for me to clear up I was simply told "she's young".  She is 18 months younger than me, lol, in her mid 20s.  And that is only a story I'm prepared to repeat here!


----------



## bethzaring

Katalyst said:
			
		

> DH wants me to be nice about it, insisting that she means well. I disagree, because she knows full well what she's doing and I've made clear to her that I put things in certain places because I blind-reach for things as I work and expect them to be there.


 
Might I suggest that your MIL really may NOT know full well what she is doing ?.  This really sounds like she is not thinking clearly.  My mother is quite unreasonable at this stage in her life, and I find it very helpful to understand that she does not know what she says and does.  I try to approach my mother with compassion and calmness.  She says completely outrageous things.  I try to beam her light and love.

Good luck, this is a very complicated situation.


----------



## SizzlininIN

So sorry Katalyst that your having to deal with this but I think its something that DH needs to take more seriously as I'm sure the tension is or will ultimately affect your relationship. I totally agree your MIL is out of line and should be gracious enough to abide by your request while living in your home and DH should stand by your side and support you. Personally, if it were my MIL (god rest her sole - no problems for me) I'd sit her down with DH present and explain that its causing a strain in your relationship and would ask that if she cannot make an effort to meet your request then you would be happy to help her find other living arrangements.  I'd also address her other problems, self medicating etc and encourage her to get help with that....ultimately that will have to be her choice because you can't help someone that doesn't want help.


----------



## Katalyst

bethzaring said:
			
		

> Might I suggest that your MIL really may NOT know full well what she is doing ?. This really sounds like she is not thinking clearly. My mother is quite unreasonable at this stage in her life, and I find it very helpful to understand that she does not know what she says and does. I try to approach my mother with compassion and calmness. She says completely outrageous things. I try to beam her light and love.
> 
> Good luck, this is a very complicated situation.


 
You're right, BZ, this is complicated.  As I said in my original post, this is the tip of the iceberg.  I was a dietary manager in a nursing home for 3 years, so I'm familiar with the elderly and their traits.  MIL does use this as an excuse at her convenience, yet at other times, she knows it all.  She thinks there is no one good enough for her son, based on some things she's said.  Thank God he disagrees.  
I've overheard or had feedback from concerned family about some of the most awful things she's said about me. All way off-base and untrue.  We've tried the family meeting thing, and I've brought up some of the lies she's told DH.  Denial.  I've learned from family that the lying goes way back. 
She does need help, I am first in line on that idea.  I've talked to DH, relatives, the family doctor.  I can't do much else legally, as the DIL, to get her the help she needs.  Someone needs to monitor her regularly, and take control over the meds (she dispenses hers and FIL's, and helps herself to his Klonopin).  She'll lift anything that says to take at bedtime (cholesterol, acid blocker, etc.).  Hence the lock on our door.  I am compassionate and kind to her.  I don't raise my voice with her (poor DH gets that).  Most things I just suck up and deal with.  Some things I have to bring up, like leaving the gas burner on.  
Like I said, most of the stuff is little, but it's cumulative.  So I vent.  Or get in the car and blister my eardrums with the stereo.  Thanks for caring, everyone!  And, lulu, I have to laugh about the linen closet thing.  I saw that one coming, so when we bought this house, I gave her the whole thing, plus my chest-of-drawers in the hall for her linens.  I purged mine down to what fits in the cedar chest at the foot of my bed.  I don't need that many any more, since I also gave her my queen bed.  
Wow, I sound bad, but that feels good!  Hugs to all of you for understanding!


----------



## jkath

Since it's your home, that you purchased, would you be up for a move any day soon....perhaps to a house that she'd not be moving to?

Because of her problems, I'd seriously consider you going with your husband, in search of a nice facility, one that is for the retired who don't need constant care, but do need some now and again.

Rather than involve her in your discussions (as she'll deny left and right, since after all, she sees you as 'attacking' her), I'd have a heart to heart with the hubby. He's not a little boy, he's a man. And, a man needs to step up and be a man for the woman he loves. He could say "Mom, I love ya lots, but it's time that my wife and I have a peaceful home. You've become disruptive and that's not going to fly here. You can either start respecting the fact that this is our home, or you can find another place to live. If you chose the second, I'd be more than happy to help you look."

Sending you peaceful, happy chocolate-filled thoughts, katalyst!


----------



## Katalyst

*Something to look forward to!!!*

Sigh!  DH just called to ask me to drive to his office to pick him up this evening so we could go to dinner.  I drove him in this morning, he missed the train because he forgot his glasses.  Alas, I have class tonight and can't do it.  Raincheck!  Friday night it is!


----------



## Katalyst

jkath said:
			
		

> Since it's your home, that you purchased, would you be up for a move any day soon....perhaps to a house that she'd not be moving to?
> 
> Because of her problems, I'd seriously consider you going with your husband, in search of a nice facility, one that is for the retired who don't need constant care, but do need some now and again.
> 
> Rather than involve her in your discussions (as she'll deny left and right, since after all, she sees you as 'attacking' her), I'd have a heart to heart with the hubby. He's not a little boy, he's a man. And, a man needs to step up and be a man for the woman he loves. He could say "Mom, I love ya lots, but it's time that my wife and I have a peaceful home. You've become disruptive and that's not going to fly here. You can either start respecting the fact that this is our home, or you can find another place to live. If you chose the second, I'd be more than happy to help you look."
> 
> Sending you peaceful, happy chocolate-filled thoughts, katalyst!


 
Your post so touched me, jkath, thank you so much!  I do see the facility thing in the future (though not immediate).  We uprooted them from another state after trying to live near them there for a few years to bring them here where hubby could earn a decent living.  So there's the guilt thing going on about that.  Yes, I've seriously thought of moving out, and have threatened to do so as soon as I am able to support myself. I hope it doesn't come down to that.  I can't seem to assert myself to him that he can either spend the rest of his life with me, or the next few with her/them.  He sees it as my asking him to choose whom he loves. 
He is supportive of me, but is stressed right now with a new job search.  We are trying to ride this out and get my business off the ground so the pressure is eased on him as the sole breadwinner.  He did talk to her about her drinking, and she told him she would cut back if he would (he had no problem).  He stopped, completely, and I don't drink at all. She has cut back some, but she stays in her computer room now when she drinks.  She's safer there, no stairs to stumble on, until she goes wandering about the house when everyone's in bed.  I told hubby that first time she has a spell, I will call 911, and he will insist she go with them.  No car trips to the ER, period.  Maybe that would force professional intervention.  One day at a time!
Oooh, chocolate-filled thoughts!  Do I wear my addiction on my sleeve?  Now there's the best medicine for anything!  
Off to study, I have an exam tonight.  Thank you so much again!  I feel like I found some sisters!


----------



## bethzaring

Katalyst said:
			
		

> I've overheard or had feedback from concerned family about some of the most awful things she's said about me. All way off-base and untrue. We've tried the family meeting thing, and I've brought up some of the lies she's told DH. Denial. I've learned from family that the lying goes way back.


 
Oh Katalyst, this is my mom to a T!!  And she says awful stuff about her own kids.  Well, it sounds like you are handling your situation MUCH better than I.  Hang in there, the sisters are here to help you anytime!! 

Oh btw, I was a dietary manager too!


----------



## Katalyst

bethzaring said:
			
		

> Oh Katalyst, this is my mom to a T!! And she says awful stuff about her own kids. Well, it sounds like you are handling your situation MUCH better than I. Hang in there, the sisters are here to help you anytime!!
> 
> Oh btw, I was a dietary manager too!


 
thank you, thank you...  it's a good feeling to know I am not alone in the world!  
Another DM, how cool!  Isn't it funny how they listen to you at work (kinda) about how and what to eat, but at home.....


----------



## philly29

I haven't been able to sleep in days.  The Mrs. and I are fighting and it is really hard to sleep when that happens.


----------



## kitchenelf

philly29 said:
			
		

> I haven't been able to sleep in days.  The Mrs. and I are fighting and it is really hard to sleep when that happens.



I'm sorry - I hate fighting - it's such a waste of time!

I turned in my notice today at work and was told to "get the "heck" out, now" - of course, heck wasn't the word she used.  Should I assume she doesn't want me to work my notice?


----------



## Katie H

kitchenelf said:
			
		

> I turned in my notice today at work and was told to "get the "heck" out, now" - of course, heck wasn't the word she used.  Should I assume she doesn't want me to work my notice?



I had that happen once.  I beat feet and enjoyed my two weeks with pay relaxing at home.  I later learned what a crappy organization it was and didn't feel bad at all.  Others left like rats jumping off a sinking ship.  Best wishes to you.  Enjoy your "2 week's notice" at home.


----------



## CharlieD

Not sure where to post this because i am mad at my self. last year, around this time I was cooking for this party and made this awesome Mexican Chicken Soup. Evrybody loveded, including me (rear ocurance, as I always critisize my own food), anyway. I did not write down the recipe. The other day my wife ask me to make it, but I can't remember for a life of me, grrrrrrrrrrrr


----------



## SizzlininIN

Philly....so sorry you and the Mrs. are fighting ... I hope and pray you two can work it out.

KitchenElf........ forgive me but I can't remember what type of work you did I'm having a total brain fart  .  No matter though..... its their loss and sounds like your better off to of left if she has attitude like that.  

CharlieD..........is it possible you mentioned the recipe on here in one of the forums?


----------



## jkath

SizzlininIN said:
			
		

> CharlieD..........is it possible you mentioned the recipe on here in one of the forums?


 Just what I was thinking!!

Elf - does that mean we get more time with you? 

Philly.......how is it going now?


Kat - more chocolate for you.


----------



## Katalyst

jkath said:
			
		

> Kat - more chocolate for you.



jkath, chocolate is just what I need, thanks!  

DH took me out for that dinner tonight, it was wonderful!  I have a weakness for fried catfish, and this place did it right!

Hope everyone is doing well!  Hugs to all!


----------



## Katie H

Katalyst said:
			
		

> I have a weakness for fried catfish, and this place did it right!


Fried catfish?  Can't believe it can be done better than in Kentucky.  Premiere.  The best in the world is fried here but I'm glad you were pleased.  What is your benchmark?


----------



## Uncle Bob

Katie E said:
			
		

> Fried catfish? Can't believe it can be done better than in Kentucky. Premiere. The best in the world is fried here but I'm glad you were pleased. What is your benchmark?


 
Good Morning...From the "Catfish Capitol of The World"... Mississippi..
500,000 acres under production and growing...
Nice to make your acquaintance fellow Catfish lovers!!

However you must know there is NONE BETTER than Mississippi Fried Catfish  especially those fried in Uncle Bob's outdoor kitchen..


----------



## bethzaring

Mississippi indeed.  Many many years ago, my late FIL helped develop cat fish farming at Mississippi State U. at Starkville, good stuff...


----------



## Katalyst

*Catfish*

Note to self:  Go try catfish in KY and MS.  And anywhere else!  Found a wonderful little restaurant passing through Lexington, KY, (no catfish though) and made it a point to stop there again on my next cross-country drive.

Hmmm, benchmarks.  Well, I'm not too picky, but a nice cornmeal-based breading, lightly seasoned.  Last night's was fresh, wonderfully seasoned, not too heavy on the salt.  I like to taste the fish. Fried golden-crisp, large fillet, piping hot inside and just done.  At home if I pan-fry, I use higher ratio of cornmeal-to-flour. Bacon grease for a treat if I have it. My family thinks I'm strange - I don't use tartar sauce.  Kind of a purist that way, it's the fish I want.  But I have a weakness for remoulade, so if it's there, I'm dippin'!  

It's good to get back in the area.  We spent 3 years in Idaho, where they consider catfish to be trash fish.  Bottom-feeders.  hmmph, so are lobsters and crabs.... I love the south!!!


----------



## Alix

Think I have strep throat. Ick. Just waiting for the Dr's office to open so I can go and find out for sure.


----------



## pdswife

Take care Alix.   Strep is no fun at all.


----------



## Alix

Nope, it sure isn't. The Dr mentioned I probably picked it up in the hospital when I took Mom in this week. Stupid hospitals! LOL. 

I got some antibiotics (the really expensive ones since I'm allergic to the other two cheaper varieties!) and a truly wonderful gargle thing to numb the pain in my throat. I can swallow without pain now! WOOHOO!

Hey, I'm going over to Celebrations now.


----------



## urmaniac13

Oh no Alix, just as a weekend arrives, so does strep throat, isn't it ironic, don't you think!!  
Take care and hope it will pass soon!!


----------



## jkath

Alix, I think Ken needs to go to the local ice cream store and buy you a big hand-packed tub of your favorite flavor. It's for your health after all


----------



## Alix

Thanks guys. I think maybe I WILL send him to get me ice cream. The sad part is, the tub might not ever make it home!


----------



## Katalyst

Alix said:
			
		

> Thanks guys. I think maybe I WILL send him to get me ice cream. The sad part is, the tub might not ever make it home!



I see only one solution to that problem... TWO tubs!  If some is good, more is better!  Yummmm


----------



## Alix

I like the way you think Katalyst! LOL. 

Thanks again for all the support you guys, I'm on the road to recovery. I still hurt, but if I keep up with the ibuprofen regularly its manageable.


----------



## Barbara L

I'm glad you are starting to feel better Alix.  I have been dealing with bronchitis, but I would take that over strep any day!  

 Barbara


----------



## SierraCook

Alix, I am glad to hear that you are feeling better.  I have had strep throat twice and neither time was not alot of fun.  Take care of yourself and get well soon.


----------



## Alix

Barbara L said:
			
		

> I'm glad you are starting to feel better Alix. I have been dealing with bronchitis, but I would take that over strep any day!
> 
> Barbara


 
Me too Barbara. Strep feels like knives in your throat. Icky. You feel better soon too, I'll send you some of my chicken soup to share. 

Thanks SierraCook, I'm feeling almost normal again.


----------



## SierraCook

*A friend has cancer......*

I found out a few weeks ago that a friend has cancer.  She is currently going through radiation treatments and is doing quite well, considering.  It is just frustrating to see someone that has taken great care of herself has this trouble.  To make her feel better one of my coworkers has came up with the idea of making her a quilt, so we are all contributing a square.  I have been working hard on my square the last week and that is why I have not been around on DC.  I would appreciate your kind thoughts for my friend and thanks for being such great people.


----------



## Claire

My mom is very, very sick.  I was ready to hop in the truck and drive two days to get to her, but she says no, not now.  I think going to see her will make her feel like she's dying, and she isn't ready for that.  I'm tired of the bad weather, and sick at heart abot Mom.  I guess I'm lucky, my husband made me put on my snow boots, and we walked Main Street for a pub crawl.  It made me feel good to see how many people here like us, and made me remember why I moved here.


----------



## Snoop Puss

Claire, sorry to hear your news. It must make you feel quite powerless, your mom being at such a distance. Sounds like you have a good husband who knows how to make you feel appreciated, though.


----------



## SizzlininIN

Sierra and Claire I'll keep your loved ones in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## SizzlininIN

Well this job prospect just keeps dragging out.  Finally my nursing license went before the board that hires and that should of been the end of it and my being hired. Well since I put in the application and the time it went before the hiring board they implemented a new process to where you have to fill out all this other paperwork...... its basically putting in the same darn information you did when you filled out your application..... just so redundant and mind baffling..... thats the government for you  .  I just got off the phone with the human resource lady and asked her to email me a scanned copy of my application so that it won't take so much time to refill all this information out.  I'm not kidding it took me at least an hour to fill that application out to begin with.


----------



## Alix

Claire, if you Mom is well enough to be stubborn, thats a good thing. (She sounds a bit like my Mom). I know that doesn't stop your worry or heartache though. Sending you a virtual hug. 


Sizz, how IRRITATING! Bureaucracy at its finest. Its almost like the final test before you are allowed to get to work. Sheesh!


----------



## kadesma

SierraCook said:
			
		

> I found out a few weeks ago that a friend has cancer. She is currently going through radiation treatments and is doing quite well, considering. It is just frustrating to see someone that has taken great care of herself has this trouble. To make her feel better one of my coworkers has came up with the idea of making her a quilt, so we are all contributing a square. I have been working hard on my square the last week and that is why I have not been around on DC. I would appreciate your kind thoughts for my friend and thanks for being such great people.


SC,
what a wonderful thing you all are doing for your friend. Your friend will be in  my prayers. Bless your heart, you are such a lovely person, thoughtful and kind.

kadesma


----------



## kadesma

Claire said:
			
		

> My mom is very, very sick. I was ready to hop in the truck and drive two days to get to her, but she says no, not now. I think going to see her will make her feel like she's dying, and she isn't ready for that. I'm tired of the bad weather, and sick at heart abot Mom. I guess I'm lucky, my husband made me put on my snow boots, and we walked Main Street for a pub crawl. It made me feel good to see how many people here like us, and made me remember why I moved here.


Claire,
I'm sorry to hear your mom is ill. Will keep her in my thoughts and hope she is better soon.

kadesma


----------



## jkath

I'm so sorry, Sierra and Claire.
Alix, I hope your knives go from sandokus to butter ones soon.

Sizz, grrr to the HR people!


----------



## csalt

Claire, I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum.

If it's any consolation, our daughter wanted to come for her Father and I encouraged her not to, but to wait until the Easter holidays. ( She is a single parent with a daughter in school and a very demanding job.) Her Dad would not have wanted her to add that stress as well.
He is progressing well now.

I do hope things look up again soon.


----------



## SizzlininIN

Thanks Alix and jkath. We'll the HR lady emailed me the copy of my application and the stinken document won't open so I just asked her to mail it to me.  If I didn't want the job so bad I'd just say forget it. But the pay and benefits are amazing and the aspect of being able to retire in 20 years a bonus.  I just hope it turns out its all I think it will be because I just don't see anything else out there for me right now that peeks my interest and the place I'm working at now is really going downhill quickly....they need to totally go in and clean house and get all new management. 
But anyway thanks for letting me vent


----------



## CharlieD

Alix, I remember when I was 16 or 17 and head strep ones, doctor recommended to drink very worm tea with a table spoon of cognac in it. He said it was very soothing. So I came home that day and told my mom that doc said to drink a cup of cognac with a table spoon of tea in it. I did not get to do that then, but have tried that recipe latter on in life, works wonders, after 2-3 cups all pain is gone fro at least the rest of the day.


----------



## Alix

Charlie, DANG thats a good thought! Think brandy would do? I don't have any cognac, but I do have some brandy. I think I'll do that tonight it sounds like a winner!

Sizz, I feel your frustration. Keep at it, slog through all that paper, the end result MUST be worth it if you have to jump through so many hoops to get to it!


----------



## CharlieD

SizzlininIN, you need acrobat reader software. You should be able to find it free on internet to download.


----------



## CharlieD

I am sure Brandy will do just fine, Alix!


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Sorry*



			
				Claire said:
			
		

> My mom is very, very sick.  I was ready to hop in the truck and drive two days to get to her, but she says no, not now.  I think going to see her will make her feel like she's dying, and she isn't ready for that.  I'm tired of the bad weather, and sick at heart abot Mom.  I guess I'm lucky, my husband made me put on my snow boots, and we walked Main Street for a pub crawl.  It made me feel good to see how many people here like us, and made me remember why I moved here.



Claire, is there someone with her?  Does she live alone?  I could not rest knowing my mother was not feeling well with no one there.  Is your dad there?  I am just the kind of person who would rather know the real problem rather than guessing.  When they get up in age, never know what is happening.  sorry if I put fear into your thoughts.  If my mom was around I would have been there no matter what.  Grateful I can do as I please w/o someone trying to judge or cont rol me. My ex is gone.  I can come and go w/o his negative comments.  Too long, too late.  He resented my mother too.  I really don't know who he liked.  Let me know how your mom doing.  Does she live far away?


----------



## SizzlininIN

CharlieD said:
			
		

> SizzlininIN, you need acrobat reader software. You should be able to find it free on internet to download.


 
THanks for the inf. CharlieD..... I'd almost bet its on DH's computer already as he is the computer king...LOL!  I'll have him see if he can open it when he gets home but I"m kind of doubting it though as it attempted to covert it but in the end it ended up a blank page.


----------



## Claire

Oh, lord, believe me I'd be there if I was needed.  I have three sisters within a couple hours' drive, and right now my neice and an aunt are taking care of her.  Daddy is very much alive and kicking and working his butt off to take care of her.  As long as Mom insists she doesn't want me there (i've always been the car-taker until recent years), I know I need to stay away.  I call often.  And, as we can tell right now, stay awake nights worrying.


----------



## csalt

Your Mum knows how much you love her and that you are with her in spirit constantly. I'm sure she feels upheld by this. To be loved by family is a really special thing. Good wishes and thoughts to all of you.


----------



## YT2095

I`ve just had a glass pipe break and get shoved up my index finger in peices, I was trying to push it through a hole in a cork and it was a bit tight and suddenly broke 
the 1`st aid kit has the sort of plaster/bandaids that you cut off yourself, that`s fine if you have left handed Scissors

it doesn`t hurt and the glass will work itself out in time as always, but what Really annoys me is that not 30 seconds Prior to this, I was ask how I was and Replied "Doing great thnx, I`m in much less pain today than I have been of late" *sigh*

I ask ya, How Irritating is THAT!


----------



## urmaniac13

OUCH!!!!  My fingers started hurting just reading your post...  That is awful, I hope it is not too serious and will heal soon... it is a right bugger when you have an injured finger, not only the pain, but also it inconveniences just about everything you do!!  Take care!!


----------



## csalt

YT2095 said:
			
		

> I`ve just had a glass pipe break and get shoved up my index finger in peices, I was trying to push it through a hole in a cork and it was a bit tight and suddenly broke
> the 1`st aid kit has the sort of plaster/bandaids that you cut off yourself, that`s fine if you have left handed Scissors
> 
> it doesn`t hurt and the glass will work itself out in time as always, but what Really annoys me is that not 30 seconds Prior to this, I was ask how I was and Replied "Doing great thnx, I`m in much less pain today than I have been of late" *sigh*
> 
> I ask ya, How Irritating is THAT!


Some little demons must have heard you. Do hope the fingers and your whole person feel better soon. Is this an after effect of your accident? Don't answer if that's an 'out of order' question. Just to let you know I do care about the pain of others.


----------



## lulu

Yikes, YT.  Take care!

Another run in with the landlord.  He was on our terrace and I can't proove he had been inside, but the cats were pretty shaken up   They are extremely easy going but they just don't like him, picking up on our tension I suppose.  The lawyer told me to photograph him if he stepped on to the terrace that we reant, but my camera was inside.   ****.


----------



## YT2095

Thnx each, I`ve Super Glued (crazy glued) it shut so the bleeding`s stopped now, so all`s Good, and honestly it really doesn`t hurt 

cSalt "Is this an after effect of your accident? Don't answer if that's an 'out of order' question."

I don`t even understand the question LOL 
you can ask me Anything if you like, I don`t offence easily...

Although I would with Lulus "landlord" and with Extreme Prejudice!


----------



## boufa06

Oh boy, YT!!  It must have hurt a lot.  Hope it's better now.  Take care!!


----------



## csalt

YT... I thought perhaps you might  still suffer from the effects of injuries sustained in your motorcycle accident . re your comments about pain etc.
(I'll go back to sleep! )


----------



## Alix

Very minor vent here. My throat IS getting better but very very slowly. Why you ask? Because it isn't actually strep throat. Instead of being bacterial, it is VIRAL! So I spent $50 on antibiotics that are doing sweet tweet for my throat. Likely the thing that has helped most is all the liquid I have been pounding and the cure all, time. How annoying. So now I just have to wait it out. Phooey. (Oh and our health plan covers the cost of the drugs, I just resent paying for useless items at all!)


----------



## YT2095

csalt said:
			
		

> YT... I thought perhaps you might  still suffer from the effects of injuries sustained in your motorcycle accident . re your comments about pain etc.
> (I'll go back to sleep! )



I do Daily, as well as Other injuries sustained (seperate incidents), sadly the worst is Hereditery(sp?) and I`m crippled with arthritis, BUT.... I have some Good days and that`s what counts 

Alix, don`t even bother taking the anti-biotics, SERIOUSLY! DONT!
it`ll compromise your immune system and also make the medicine less effective in future for when you Really need it. Trust me!

Plenty rest, isotonic fluids and elevated temp should do the trick quite nicely, so snuggle up warm (uncomfortably warm even), and ride it out, happily those little suckers have a VERY limited temp range in which to survive and propogate, YOU on the other hand are well cool and can out-do them


----------



## Alix

Gotcha YT, don't worry. I'm pretty hip about when to use antibiotics and when not. I'm irritated that I was taking them without needing them. Trust me, I'm allergic to so many that I'm pretty careful about their use at all. 

I didn't know the uncomfortably warm part, but it makes sense when I think about it. Thanks, I'll give that a go. I've been sucking back hot tea (herbal mostly) like there is no tomorrow.

Edit: YT, should I be wearing a scarf to keep my throat warm or would just raising my overall body temp do the trick. I'm thinking the latter.


----------



## YT2095

yeah, that part of the reason infected areas get "Hot" it`s how we naturaly defend ourselves, I Used to know the name of the lil` suckers responsible for this action, but be sure, they ARE on your side 

anti-pyretics are Not a good idea to be taking right now either (defeats the object and delays the inevitable).

aspirin, ibuprofen etc... not great.


----------



## Alix

Well at the moment I don't need the pain killers, but I tell you the last few days I sure did. I had a gargle that worked well, but I can't be using that at work as I need to be on the floor with the kiddos supervising, not in the bathroom gargling. 

I'll wear sweaters for the next couple of days and hopefully kill those little boogers. If I weren't working I'd be swilling back the wine too. Purely for antiseptic reasons of course.


----------



## YT2095

Chlorhexidine based gargles are great, even sorts out Gum or Tooth disease as well as internal applications (surgical) it`s a generaly good all-rounder 

I`ll shut up now for a bit, I`m sure I must bore you all.


----------



## jkath

whoa! It's like I walked into a classroom!

here's my vent, and I'm sure I don't share it with anyone, but nevertheless, it's a vent for me. 

It is sunny. And warm. 

The forecast called for rain. They were wrong again, darn it! I love cold, dark rainy days!


----------



## lulu

YT you are NEVER boring and always informative!  Never stop telling us stuff!


----------



## YT2095

YT2095 posts Jkath a _*Paradigm shift *_


----------



## jkath

I know I should be happy it's sunny....(but I get so happy and energized and motivated when it's rainy!) I'd move to Seattle, but I'm afraid dh's commute to work may be a bit long


----------



## pdswife

jkath said:
			
		

> whoa! It's like I walked into a classroom!
> 
> here's my vent, and I'm sure I don't share it with anyone, but nevertheless, it's a vent for me.
> 
> It is sunny. And warm.
> 
> The forecast called for rain. They were wrong again, darn it! I love cold, dark rainy days!


 

We woke up to two inches of snow and it's still coming down!!!  
Wanna trade places??


----------



## jkath

in a heartbeat!


----------



## pdswife

You're welcome to visit any time!  Bring snowshoes.  LOL!


----------



## YT2095

erm... that offer Open to me too?

I Luuurv t3h Snow


----------



## pdswife

YT2095 said:
			
		

> erm... that offer Open to me too?
> 
> I Luuurv t3h Snow


 


SURE!!!  Better hurry though.. it's supposed to start to rain 
any minute.  Fly over quick.  
smiles, T


----------



## YT2095

*WOOT!*  YT makes Snow Angels on PDswifes` back yard and chalenges her to a snow-ball fight :P

got a Basketball hoop set up? that`s fun too


----------



## pdswife

opps...sorry no basket ball... if you're lucky ya might see some deer or our local bobcat running around though. : )


----------



## redkitty

I miss Tivo.

Boo Boop!


----------



## csalt

*Automatic Pilot*

Do you ever get so tired you run on automatic pilot?
I'm sort of doing day and night care since BH came home from hospital a week today. Don't misunderstand me I honestly don't mind, that's what I'm here for but I need to be on the alert all the time and I feel like I'm on automatic pilot. He is improving with each passing day but is very very tired. It will take a while to sleep off that amount of anaesthetic plus the low haemoglobin. The Doctor's making a home visit tomorrow as there are 1 or 2 things I feel should be checked on and I don't have the medical 'knowhow'
This isn't meant as a moan because I genuinely treasure him,it's just a 'vent'
The ironic thing at the moment is that he who always liked a 'lie in' is awake at 6.00a.m. and deciding to get up..and I who never have lie ins am desperate for 1 !!
Thanks for listening.


----------



## mudbug

poor c! I've been there.  Autopilot will get you thru the tough stuff until you can exhale and be yourself again.


----------



## kadesma

csalt,
I know, mine had one day surgery to repair a hernia not long ago and let me tell you..Oh boy!!First off being a pharmacist, he knows everything about everything  right?  Then man was a wreck..Before surgery he could drive himself there and back, after, thank God they had a wheel chair or else I would have had to carry him..Every five minutes was the bandage okay, were there any sutures , he couldn't look made him gag,could he have some soup,water? ice cream? newspapar,  what was I doing on the puter? Wake me up at 3 gee okay I'll take a nap now it's 4  see, after about 2 weeks, he got a tad bored, by the 3rd week he was up and off again..He survived, he made it, it was a piece of cake and look he did it all by his lonesome Now if someone aske me about a c-section, what the heck do I know, nd he's off and running, after all he had the kids, I just watched 
All kidding aside, I was bushed and once he started to get on his feet, he did everything he could for me as he always has...Your DH has been through it and I bet at the back of his mind is a little nag about the cancer..how could there not be?  Hang in there and steal a minute when you can..
hugs to you both.
kadesma


----------



## shannon in KS

Officially ended current relationship/ engagement....


----------



## Katie H

shannon in KS said:
			
		

> Officially ended current relationship/ engagement....



One door closes...another opens.  You never know when.  Life is funny that way.


----------



## lulu

Hope you are feeling ok Shannon.


----------



## jkath

Shannon - here's a glass of wine - carpe diem!


----------



## Alix

Ah crap Shannon. That sucks.


----------



## SizzlininIN

I'm so sorry Shannon  its so hard when relationships come to an end...especially when you think that person is the one.  Stay strong and maybe this was meant to be as Mr. Right will be popping into your life someday. Your a great girl and the right one will come along and shower you with love.

P.S. Personally...after I ended my former relationships it turned out to be the best thing even though it didn't feel like it at the time.  Oh and get this....the scary thing is that 3 of the buggers came into my dream last night all at the same time and I still haven't a clue why and don't particularly care to see them again.... Now if I can just learn to slam the dream door .... 

Try to stay strong....we're here for you.


----------



## shannon in KS

awww, thank you all for the kind words.  I am doing fine, and an emotional load has been lifted.  Sucks when you realize you would be happier alone... The sunset seems more beautiful, my daughter growing up faster than I realize, her innocent smile.. all those simple things that you forget to enjoy when you are so unhappy.  Unfortunately, the events over the last 6 months have been the most hurtful to endure, and I seemed to grieve all the while, trying and trying to save it, but still aware of the realization of the necessary end, and thank goodness it was not as painful as I anticipated.  Very strange....  Again, thank you all for being your wonderful selves!


----------



## Barb L.

Shannon, I believe in fate, things happen for a reason.  When you were unhappy your daughter probably felt the same.  It is the little things that count, appreciate them all.   Happiness to both you and your precious daughter !!  Barb


----------



## kadesma

_i suppose this is a tiny vent, I don't believe it, why me and a good old laugh or cry situation..I got up today, got ready and went to the grocery to pick up a veal pocket (cima) that I'd ordered..I went to the meat department to find a small crowd gathere around an older woman, who was more than a little upset..Let's say speaking rather loudly. Fine I pull my basket over to the side to wait..The young butcher who is trying to explain something to the woman sees me, waves me over and says Maam, the veal you ordered is here, but this lady say's it's hers!!! She then screams it's in the counter, I asked for it you have to give it to me. I'm looking from one to the other rather dismayed..The owner of the store comes over asks what's wrong and she is off and running again..The poor young butcher is trying to explain that yes the meat is in the counter, but that Mrs. so and so's name is one it..Lord she really went into obit.. I was not about to fool with her so I said give her the meat and just give me two good sized rib eyes instead. Owner says you don't have to do that, I said PLEASE give her the meat! All the while she is yelling to everyone within shouting distance I was trying to take her meat... They wrapped up the meat, gave it to her and off she went muttering, no thank you nada..I get in line she is in another to check out and she then tells the girl, this isn't what I wanted, take it back! By this time owner has come upon us and he went over and told her you take that meat or else! Later he took out my groceries and explained she is very whealthy, spoiled and lonely, she comes to the store several times a week, loads up the basket, then when she _
_checks out, waits til things are started to be rung then say's she does not want this that and the other and ends up taking maybe two or three items..He say's they allow this for her as they feel sorry for her, but after today, she will be watched. When I got home and went over my grocery tag, The TWO steaks were given NO CHARGE to me with a bunch of flowers.._
_so vent a little, angry a little, glad I just walked away without smakcing her you bet! Praying I never ever behave that way to anyone ever.._
_kadesma _


----------



## Barb L.

Having worked in a seafood meat service counter, The Butcher should have taken the meat out of the case, put it in the back fridge w/ your name on it !!!  He was so wrong, you did just as I would have done -not fight a losing battle !!  You go girl !!  Enjoy your rib eyes - (My favorite)  You tried Hon, to surprize DH, maybe next time !!


----------



## CharlieD

Wow, what a story, almost like the soviet union, fight for your piece of meat. Some people, huh, but I do agree meat should have been wrapped in white paper, and put away with your name on it, so not only anybody would see what's in there but also it would be clearly marked with your name.


----------



## kadesma

_Barb, Charlie,,_
_ I agree the meat should have been kept in the back with my name on it. I've asked that to be done next time...Still in all, it was the easier thing to do to, just let her have her way..And get away from there fast..._

_kadesma _


----------



## crewsk

I had to chase our dog up the street just a few minutes ago. The kid from down the street cam to see if TC could come out to play & while I was explaining to him that TC is grounded for a week, Mack ran between my feet & out the door. I asked the kid to try & catch him while I slipped on some shoes & he just stood there looking at me like I was stupid!! This kid irritates me to no end anyway. He is very rude & talks back to his mom & teachers. On top of that he's mean to the other kids at school, kicking, hitting, & pushing them for no reason at all. He knows he's not going to get into any trouble at home for it because his mom thinks he's an angel. One major reason he acts like this is because his mom is also way overprotective & won't let him out of her sight for 2 seconds when he's home.


----------



## jkath

kades, those flowers are a reminder of how kind you are.
Plus, it's always nice to have a butcher who wants to get on your good side!

crewsk, that must drive you batty! Doesn't that make you realize (again) what great kids you have, that you know they'd help a neighbor's mom get their dog back?
Perhaps TC's grounding was a well-timed thing!


----------



## crewsk

Yes it does drive me insaine! I'd love to let that kid spend a week at my house & learn a few things about respect & kindness. It does make me realize what good kids I have, I take that for granted sometimes. 

On top of that, I had to leave Savannah laying on the couch with severe stomache cramps to get our dog. He's spending a little alone time in his kennel for running out like that.


----------



## Alix

Some of you already have heard this particular vent so feel free to ignore me. My computer is a piece of CRAP! I know we need to add more RAM, (or frankly we may be at the point of getting a new computer) but we need other things more. So, the computer fix will have to wait. Meanwhile, I crash if I even THINK about using MSN, and forget trying to print something from the Internet. ARGH! I'm trying to do a bunch of stuff for Bugs' ball team and I'm so frustrated I could snap. I've been fighting with the stupid bloody thing for 3 hours now and it will work only sporadically. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

(And I know someone is going to ask so I'll tell you now, I can only run my spyware/anti virus removal programs in Safe Mode or I crash. I have done all of them recently so we are relatively free of kaka in that respect.)


----------



## urmaniac13

I feel your pain Alix!!  I could go bonkers with such probs, so kudos to you for keeping your marbles together!!  I really hope you can get a new, faster and bigger computer soon, don't settle for RAM any smaller than 1GB, at the very least.  That is not even enough for us and we will be looking something way expanded on our impending computer switch!!

Well there was a major blackout in the area of Cris's office, though he had the backup system ready something went wrong when the power came back 4 hours later, one of the servers doesn't run, and this one contains a lot of precious data from one of the most important clients, Cris has been in the office since 3AM trying to recover them and from the look of it, things have not been solved yet ... poor Cris, I hope nothing important has been lost!!

Meanwhile I had my usual petty frustration at the gym, my afternoon trip was pretty much useless, as my favourite spinning instructor was down with influenza and replaced by my LEAST favourite instructor, she bores me to death so I didn't bother with spinning any longer, decided to attack on punching bag at the aerobic room, then I was shooed away because they were going to have a staff meeting.    Hoping for a better luck this evening!!


----------



## YT2095

oh dear 

I can SO sympathise with you, the last time I got THAT Fried with a PC I suffered a Broken Arm in 3 places (I hit it and sent it flying, except I hit the Corner of it instead!).

do you know what PC it is, or even better Exactly what RAM type it needs, I can`t promise anything, but I can ask one of the Tech Guys for you (they have Loads of spare this/that/the other laying about) 

don`t be Stupid like I was!


----------



## crewsk

Well, 2 nights of very little sleep have taken their toll on me. I woke up with a headache, sore throat, stuffy nose, & sneezing. I haven't taken anything yet but I did drink some hot lemon/honey tea & my throat doesn't feel like it's lined with sandpaper anymore.


----------



## Uncle Bob

crewsk said:
			
		

> Well, 2 nights of very little sleep have taken their toll on me. I woke up with a headache, sore throat, stuffy nose, & sneezing. I haven't taken anything yet but I did drink some hot lemon/honey tea & my throat doesn't feel like it's lined with sandpaper anymore.


 
Miss Crewsk...

Sorry to here you are not feeling well this AM Allergies maybe?
No matter..I do hope you feel better as the day progesses. Maybe some hot soup will pick you up..
Here is a big {{{{{{Miss Crewsk}}}}} from Dr.  ah Uncle Bob


----------



## crewsk

Thanks Uncle Bob! It is more than likely allergies. I'm on my to the kitchen now to warm up a bowl of veggie beef soup that my mom brought yesterday. 

Oh, I forgot part of my vent earlier! I got lost on my way back home from taking the kids to school this morning!!  I had to stop & get gas on my way home & instead of trying to turn left & fighting the traffic from the high school, I decided to take the back way into the subdivision. Well, long story short, I passed the rode not once, but twice!!!  I have no idea where my head was at but I'm going to blame it on being sick.


----------



## Uncle Bob

Miss Crewsk..

Hot lemon/honey tea???  Got lost did ya?  Could be you might need to go easy on the ah...uhm  "Tea"?   Anyway, I am glad you found your way home. 
Wait until you go to the grocery store..come out with a buggy of groceries and then walk a "marathon" looking for your car.Talk about embarassing! I walked by this same old dude sitting in a car three times..I got some very strange looks from him Mom's veggie/beef soup will do the trick!!!!

Take care......


----------



## crewsk

I didn't have the tea until after I got home.  

I have lost my car in a parking garage before. Does that count? I took my son to the orthopedic surgon & when we came out, I couldn't find my car. I pressed the panic alarm hoping that I would see the lights flashing, but I could only hear the horn blowing from below us. We went down to the next level & it wasn't there. We walked that entire garage  3 or 4 times before I realized that were on the wrong side of the wall! TC thought it was funny that I had lost the car & couldn't wait to get home to tell his dad.


----------



## Uncle Bob

Miss Crewsk...

Well next time drink the "tea" BEFORE you go..Maybe it will keep you from getting lost.  Yourself!!!  

Parking garage...wrong floor...Wrong Side of the Wall??? 

Well Bless your heart child! Bless your heart!


----------



## crewsk

What can I say? I'd get lost in broad daylight on a dead end street.


----------



## Alix

Just burnt my neck with my curling iron. Now I have to go to work looking like I have a weird shaped hickey on my neck. OW! AND...I poked myself with the mascara wand. Sheesh. Clearly I should not bother with make up. 

OK, off to work. Be good everyone.


----------



## mudbug

Now the kids at work will respect you more, Alix.  A hickey on your neck, black around the eye - real Goth, dude!


----------



## Alix

ROFL! Yep, I will be so cool you could make ice cubes on me.  

Seriously though, what cruel demented genius created mascara? I figure its the same person who invented pantyhose and high heels. You know they make you look great, but what a royal PITA!


----------



## mish

Alix said:
			
		

> ROFL! Yep, I will be so cool you could make ice cubes on me.
> 
> Seriously though, what cruel demented genius created mascara? I figure its the same person who invented pantyhose and high heels. You know they make you look great, but what a royal PITA!


 
It _had _to be a man, Alix.  *Max* Factor & *Frederick*'s of Hollyweird.


----------



## shannon in KS

YEAH! I don't recall EVER seeing mascara in the Victoria's Secret catalog. Don't correct me if I am wrong though  

I threw a tantrum this morning because my "lovely red-brown, naturally curly locks" (so says the salon guru) spiralled out of control, so I fought back and took the scissors to them (much to salon guru's dismay), thus followed by a hefty tip to the fabulouso salon guru for turning my chunky whack job into.. well, I'm not sure yet. We'll find out tomorrow at Round 2, 7:23am. I told her i was going "Britney" (sp?) on her if it didn't work out.


----------



## kadesma

_Darn, darn, double darn...Because of county rules, now that my mother has passed, we cannot keep the mobile home she lived in on our 8 acres.._
_so, we sold it to my son's wifes ,sisters husband...He hires a firm to move the thing, they are supposed to let us know when, so we can remove the rest of the furniture...We wait, wait, wait, low and behold, 7 sunday morning, here they are!!! Put wheels on that beauty and ran over 4 beautiful roses bushes my dad had planted for my mom about 5 years ago, just flattened them to the ground..Now, we have to travel 60 miles to get back, two chais, a large marble coffee table, the king sized bed,dresser,night stands, another chair my daughter wanted, and the good sized sweing cabnet dad made for mom to keep all her sewing needs in.._
_You know, at the time, I was so stunned, that I couldn't even get angry..I often wonder why people are so inconsiderate of others? I know I can get the things back, that isn't really that bad, but, I just was taken by surprise, and it was like watching DH's mom and my dad and mom leave us all over again..And it hurt like blazes!! When my kids and the little guys came that day for a bbq, my girls just stood, looked at the empty space and started to cry, of course, it sent me and all the kids including poor little Olivia into tears as well, and my poor sons-in-law, both got tears in their eyes..Ah, phooey, life can be a pain in the pita sometimes..!!_
_kadesma _


----------



## SizzlininIN

So sorry Kads for the pain of all this. Is it possible you can plant a flower garden or a small orchard of trees there as a memorial spot. Maybe something beautiful and alive will bring a smile to you and your families faces when you now look out that way. Maybe a little nook within the garden with a small table and chairs that you could go and read. Again, I wished I could take the pain and sorrow away. Big Hugs!


----------



## kadesma

_Thanks Sizz,_
_I'll be okay, just was taken by surprise..Son-in-law took a look and thinks we can save the roses..That makes this mess not quite so hurtful.._

_kadesma  _


----------



## corazon

What a rough day kadesma!  I sure hope you can save the roses.  I don't know what it is about inconsiderate people either.  Everyone is in too much of a hurry to care.  

Hugs to you and yours.


----------



## pdswife

Kadesma... some people just suck.  How mean and rude.

smiles, T


----------



## kadesma

corazon said:
			
		

> What a rough day kadesma! I sure hope you can save the roses. I don't know what it is about inconsiderate people either. Everyone is in too much of a hurry to care.
> 
> Hugs to you and yours.


Thanks Cora,
it was really a lousy day..Things are a little smoother now, and having Ethan and Livi hee today rally helped..That little Girl is a ball of fire and as sweet as can be. She seems to just know when you need a hug and is right there to be picked up..Ethan that little blue eyed loning boy, spent a lot of time to day at my side, I got so many hugs and kisses from him..It made the day fly by...You can't ask for more than that to lift your heart. Unless its a hug from three of my favorite people, you and those cute little ones of your.

kadesma


----------



## kadesma

pdswife said:
			
		

> Kadesma... some people just suck. How mean and rude.
> 
> smiles, T


I  know T...I swear, I will never do something like that...I just don't understand what is so hard about calling to let you know they are coming..Most people now days have a cell phone slaped to there ear all the time..Beats me what's so hard about one more call!!!! I suppose business is business hum?

kadesma


----------



## lulu

That's just horrid, so rude!

As for the roses, you know, a hard prune and they might be better than ever.  I am failing to remember which famous English garden it is that does this, but anyway, they raze all their roses to the ground every three years to keep them vigourous!  Too drastic for me, but I am known to be a good hard rose pruner - I do my mother's because she can't bear to prune them back as ruthlessly as I do, and the growh on them is always remarkable.  I hope, with some luck, in the long term your roses will benefit from this assault on them.


----------



## Alix

Oh kadesma, what a crappy day! Thank goodness for those loving arms you had with you all day. Heres one more hug {{{{{{{{{{kadesma}}}}}}}}}}


----------



## Barb L.

So sorry for your horrible day, but glad you have your darlings with you - Grandchildren can brighten and make your day !   Your Moms Roses with be awesome this year !  Enjoy


----------



## kadesma

lulu said:
			
		

> That's just horrid, so rude!
> 
> As for the roses, you know, a hard prune and they might be better than ever. I am failing to remember which famous English garden it is that does this, but anyway, they raze all their roses to the ground every three years to keep them vigourous! Too drastic for me, but I am known to be a good hard rose pruner - I do my mother's because she can't bear to prune them back as ruthlessly as I do, and the growh on them is always remarkable. I hope, with some luck, in the long term your roses will benefit from this assault on them.


lulu,
would my dad have loved you  He was a pruner and drove my mom who had a black thumb to distraction..But I tell you he had a yard of beautiful roses and I can remember coming in their home to find each room full of the sweet smell of tea roses and here he'd come with more for my mom..She always had a house filled with flowers.. We are going to cut them way back and we are thinking of a gazebo for out there to make it a little special..Thanks for reminding me about the pruning, that is what we will do...

kadesma


----------



## kadesma

Alix said:
			
		

> Oh kadesma, what a crappy day! Thank goodness for those loving arms you had with you all day. Heres one more hug {{{{{{{{{{kadesma}}}}}}}}}}


Thanks Alix,
that helps a lot too. I hate being a whinner, but being able to come here shapes me up in no time...

kadesma


----------



## kadesma

Barb L. said:
			
		

> So sorry for your horrible day, but glad you have your darlings with you - Grandchildren can brighten and make your day ! Your Moms Roses with be awesome this year ! Enjoy


Thanks Barb,
I'm sure that those roses are going to out do themselves this next bloom..Things will be fine. Yep having the little ones helps so much, just looking at those little faces, you forget your troubles and just have to return smile for smile...

kadesma


----------



## mudbug

kadesma said:
			
		

> _Because of county rules, now that my mother has passed, we cannot keep the mobile home she lived in on our 8 acres.._



this is the part of kads' post that really bothers me.  For pete's sake, it's private property!  

Why does the county care what structures you have on it, occupied or not?


----------



## kadesma

mudbug said:
			
		

> this is the part of kads' post that really bothers me. For pete's sake, it's private property!
> 
> Why does the county care what structures you have on it, occupied or not?


They do bug, 
each year we had to get a doctors written request to use the home to care for our parents..Plus we have a neighbor how is constantly into everyones business..They hound the county each year about that home..Seems her dad wanted to park a large motor home on her property and the county said no as it was not on a foundation, so they turn us in every year and every year we get an okay..The minute my mom passed away, this same neighbor, called the county and reported it as an empty home...Poor thing has nothing better to do..So, we had to get rid of the home..We asked if it could be turned into an office, gym type thing, but no, I think they are afraid we will let someone live there and they won't get the tax money!! Who knows..Now if we ever need living assistance, we have to shell out for another home and then try to get an okay..Such are the rules around this neck of the woods...The grouches rule the roost..They feel if they don't have it you can't either!! 

kadesma


----------



## mudbug

Sorry, kads, but you live in a stupid county.  And have an even worse neighbor.  My sympathies.

Not that I should talk - we have the homeowners' associations here in Subdivisionland, aka the House Nazis.  They get to dictate what kind of fence you put around your yard, how much fence you get to put up, the colors you paint your house, yada, yada.  

I could put up with it thinking that at least it's different when you have some acreage (which we will, someday), but your experience has disillusioned me.


----------



## kadesma

mudbug said:
			
		

> Sorry, kads, but you live in a stupid county. And have an even worse neighbor. My sympathies.
> 
> Not that I should talk - we have the homeowners' associations here in Subdivisionland, aka the House Nazis. They get to dictate what kind of fence you put around your yard, how much fence you get to put up, the colors you paint your house, yada, yada.
> 
> I could put up with it thinking that at least it's different when you have some acreage (which we will, someday), but your experience has disillusioned me.


I agree, some of the rules are really foolish..But you do learn to live with them..At least being on 8 acres, my neighbor is far enough away that I can just ignore her..So don't let this change your mind about having land of your own..I wouldn't trade it for anything..My girls both have their first nice homes and as nice and big as they are, they have next door neighbors you can reach out and almost touch the homes are so close..Oh for the days of a beautiful large home with enough acrage around it so you can have a nice lawn, trees and a good sized area for flowers and not knock knees with your neighbors! Dream on dream on 

kadesma


----------



## Katie H

Oh, kadesma, what inconsiderate goobers!  I'm sorry you had such a nasty experience.  However, I think if you give the roses a good hard prune they'll be just fine.  Many roses are hardier than we can imagine.  Sending hugs to you so you can feel a little better.


----------



## kadesma

Katie E said:
			
		

> Oh, kadesma, what inconsiderate goobers! I'm sorry you had such a nasty experience. However, I think if you give the roses a good hard prune they'll be just fine. Many roses are hardier than we can imagine. Sending hugs to you so you can feel a little better.


Thanks Katie,
I realize that I just acted out of shock and hurt..But sunday to me has always been the day of rest so the movers showing up on a sunday really got me. Plus the fact that they were asked to please let us know the date and time..They didn't..Oh well, live and learn..I'm pretty sure the roses will be fine. My son-in-law is coming tonight and we will prune and see what happens..Fingers crossed 

kadesma


----------



## PA Baker

Kads, how did you and your SIL make out with the roses?

Well, both Sofie and DH ended up at the doctor's yesterday afternoon.  Sofie has the roto-virus and is cutting two molars.  I was told that since she has a sensitive tummy to begin with (reflux, etc) it will probably take her longer to get over her virus than normal.  They said not to be surprised if it's another good week or so.   She's trying hard to be her normal busy and chipper self but like anyone when you don't feel well you're grouchy.  She's been getting into trouble left and right and I feel like all I've been doing is saying "no."   All she wants is me.  Even when I'm holding her or when she's asleep all she says over and over is "mama, mama."  Sweet but it gets on your nerves after awhile too (especially when you hear it from 2--4 AM ).

Then there's poor Nathan.  He has the stomach flu and pneumonia!!!  We knew he had a nasty cough but sure didn't expect that.  He was told to take at least today off from work (the doc gave him a note for yesterday and today) and his boss is giving him the worst time about not being there and has made it very, very clear that he better be there tomorrow.  He's so weak and sick I don't know how he'll do it.  What a rotten job. 

I'm surprisingly staying relatively healthy.  Guess I don't have a choice! I'm just beat (and the teensyist bit stressed! ).


----------



## bethzaring

oh mygosh, my best friend currently has pneumonia and she has stayed in the house for over one week.  She has neighbors taking care of the livestock and even refilling the bird feeders, she is so weak. Hope EVERYBODY starts to feel normal again real soon!!


----------



## SizzlininIN

Poor Sofie and Nathan.....hope they feel better soon.  I hated it when my kids were little because you just feel so darn helpless when they look up at you and you've literally don't everything you can for them medically. They'll be in my prayers. 

You better start drinking the OJ to fight off any of the germs that are floating around you.....that is if your not a diabetic . Heck break out the Lysol and bath in it.... you have a serious germ war taking place


----------



## mudbug

PA Baker said:
			
		

> his boss is giving him the worst time about not being there and has made it very, very clear that he better be there tomorrow.



what a heart of gold this guy has.  Does nathan know about monster.com?


----------



## kadesma

PA Baker said:
			
		

> Kads, how did you and your SIL make out with the roses?
> 
> Well, both Sofie and DH ended up at the doctor's yesterday afternoon. Sofie has the roto-virus and is cutting two molars. I was told that since she has a sensitive tummy to begin with (reflux, etc) it will probably take her longer to get over her virus than normal. They said not to be surprised if it's another good week or so. She's trying hard to be her normal busy and chipper self but like anyone when you don't feel well you're grouchy. She's been getting into trouble left and right and I feel like all I've been doing is saying "no." All she wants is me. Even when I'm holding her or when she's asleep all she says over and over is "mama, mama." Sweet but it gets on your nerves after awhile too (especially when you hear it from 2--4 AM ).
> 
> Then there's poor Nathan. He has the stomach flu and pneumonia!!! We knew he had a nasty cough but sure didn't expect that. He was told to take at least today off from work (the doc gave him a note for yesterday and today) and his boss is giving him the worst time about not being there and has made it very, very clear that he better be there tomorrow. He's so weak and sick I don't know how he'll do it. What a rotten job.
> 
> I'm surprisingly staying relatively healthy. Guess I don't have a choice! I'm just beat (and the teensyist bit stressed! ).


Pa,
so far the roses are doing fine..We cut them way way back and there is no wilting or anything..We should be fine..
Wish I could help you with Sofie, poor little one..Sore mouth, rumble tummy and Nathan gee whiz, I'd not worry about his boss I know you have to worry, but he could end up in a hospital if he isn't careful with pneumonia..That one that is going around is really nasty, it took me well over a month to 8 weeks to lose the cough..And he will just run out of gas easy..So getting well is really important before going back to work..Have my fingers crossed for all of you and some hugs too...

kadesma


----------



## PA Baker

Thanks, everyone!  I sure needed those hugs and could feel every one!  

Sof ate some dinner tonight and had a little more happy pep then she's had in awhile.  Maybe one's one the road to recovery.

Kads, I made your MIL's soup and it's SO good!  It's our family's new "sick soup."  Thanks so much!!!


----------



## kadesma

PA Baker said:
			
		

> Thanks, everyone! I sure needed those hugs and could feel every one!
> 
> Sof ate some dinner tonight and had a little more happy pep then she's had in awhile. Maybe one's one the road to recovery.
> 
> Kads, I made your MIL's soup and it's SO good! It's our family's new "sick soup." Thanks so much!!!


I'm glad you liked it Pa, it seems to help and it's easy on the tummy...

kadesma


----------



## Dina

I hope your kids get better soon PABaker.  It's hard when the little ones are sick.  Our 4 year old is down with the flu and and tonsilitis.  We had to come back early from our Spring Break vacation since he had a high fever.  I don't like this flu and rotavirus season.  I will say a prayer for your kids for  a speedy recovery.


----------



## crewsk

I hope Sofie & Nathan are better soon PA!{{{HUGS}}} I'd love to give his boss a swift kick in the rear !! Oh, I second Sizz's sugestion of bathing in Lysol. I keep a bottle of the concentrated Lysol (the one in the brown bottle) & when anyone here is sick, I add pour some in with the laundry. I also know a little old lady who lived to be 103 & she put a capful of it in her bath water every day. I never could get up the nerve to do that though!


----------



## SizzlininIN

crewsk said:
			
		

> I hope Sofie & Nathan are better soon PA!{{{HUGS}}} I'd love to give his boss a swift kick in the rear !! Oh, I second Sizz's sugestion of bathing in Lysol. I keep a bottle of the concentrated Lysol (the one in the brown bottle) & when anyone here is sick, I add pour some in with the laundry. I also know a little old lady who lived to be 103 & she put a capful of it in her bath water every day. I never could get up the nerve to do that though!


 
LOL....I started reading this and my eyes started getting wider and wider all the while thinking "Oh no she doesn't"....Oh please tell me you don't bath in it  .  103 or not I'm gonna pass on that tip...


----------



## bethzaring

crewsk said:
			
		

> Oh, I second Sizz's sugestion of bathing in Lysol. I keep a bottle of the concentrated Lysol (the one in the brown bottle) & when anyone here is sick, I add pour some in with the laundry. I also know a little old lady who lived to be 103 & she put a capful of it in her bath water every day. I never could get up the nerve to do that though!


 
my eyes were getting wide on this too, i'm thinking, ouch, ooouuuuhhh, my what would that do to your skin.  Then i'm thinking the old lady had probably self embalmed her self, that's why she lived so long


----------



## PA Baker

bethzaring said:
			
		

> i'm thinking the old lady had probably self embalmed her self, that's why she lived so long


 
 That's gotta be it, Beth! 

As I called it, Nathan was exhausted by the time he got in to work this AM.  His boss made it clear that between the time he missed for my grandfather's funeral last week and the two days this week for pneumonia he had to stay all day to get caught up (he's already caught up) .  He then told Nathan he had to go to Philadelphia tomorrow for an 8:30 AM meeting.  From here, he'd have to catch a 4:30 AM train to get there on time and the boss wasn't going to let him go down this evening because he didn't want to have to pay for a hotel room!   He finally relented when Nathan found as cheap of a rate as possible.  I hate the thought of him traveling and doing so much when he feels so badly but it's his job.  What can you do?  At least he'll be able to get some rest and not get up so terribly early tomorrow.  Keep your fingers crossed that Sofie is feeling well enough that I can manage her on my own all night!


----------



## urmaniac13

Poor Nathan... spending a night at a cheap motel is not an ideal choice either when you are still feeling icky, but given the choice, it was a wiser thing to do... what a jerk of a boss he is, I hope he will get sick and realise how hard it is!!  And I bet a person like this is typically the one who moans to the whole world that he is about to die when he does get sick even just slightly!

Have him bundle up well for the journey and slip in a goodie or two in his baggage, I hope all will go well for him!!


----------



## SizzlininIN

bethzaring said:
			
		

> my eyes were getting wide on this too, i'm thinking, ouch, ooouuuuhhh, my what would that do to your skin. *Then i'm thinking the old lady had probably self embalmed her self, that's why she lived so long*


 
Wonder what else she did with household cleaners....... .....never mind 

Poor Nathan......tell him were thinking of him and hope he feels better soon......and to be sure to cough and sneeze whenever the boss is in the vacinity and if he can to be sure to cough on the bosses phone reciever.....that'll teach the no good scoundral to not have any sympathy for others. Not very nice of me I guess but the boss started it


----------



## Half Baked

PA Baker said:
			
		

> That's gotta be it, Beth!
> 
> As I called it, Nathan was exhausted by the time he got in to work this AM. His boss made it clear that between the time he missed for my grandfather's funeral last week and the two days this week for pneumonia he had to stay all day to get caught up (he's already caught up) . He then told Nathan he had to go to Philadelphia tomorrow for an 8:30 AM meeting. From here, he'd have to catch a 4:30 AM train to get there on time and the boss wasn't going to let him go down this evening because he didn't want to have to pay for a hotel room! He finally relented when Nathan found as cheap of a rate as possible. I hate the thought of him traveling and doing so much when he feels so badly but it's his job. What can you do? At least he'll be able to get some rest and not get up so terribly early tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed that Sofie is feeling well enough that I can manage her on my own all night!


 
This is horrible and it sounds like a Joan Crawford movie. It's hard to believe that bosses act like that.


----------



## pdswife

My goodness, what kind of work does Nathan do that someone can't cover for him when he's this sick? Poor guy.


His boss needs a kick in the pants!


----------



## bethzaring

PA Baker said:
			
		

> As I called it, Nathan was exhausted by the time he got in to work this AM. His boss made it clear that between the time he missed for my grandfather's funeral last week and the two days this week for pneumonia he had to stay all day to get caught up (he's already caught up) . He then told Nathan he had to go to Philadelphia tomorrow for an 8:30 AM meeting. From here, he'd have to catch a 4:30 AM train to get there on time and the boss wasn't going to let him go down this evening because he didn't want to have to pay for a hotel room! He finally relented when Nathan found as cheap of a rate as possible. I hate the thought of him traveling and doing so much when he feels so badly but it's his job. What can you do? At least he'll be able to get some rest and not get up so terribly early tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed that Sofie is feeling well enough that I can manage her on my own all night!


 

This truely sucks.  It appears DH's boss is having a problem and is unfortunately taking it out on DH.  The boss really does need a kick in the pants.  I liked the suggestion that DH sneeze on the boss's phone, or some such similar tactic.   I hope the whole family recovers soon


----------



## bethzaring

SizzlininIN said:
			
		

> Wonder what else she did with household cleaners....... .....never mind


 

   I found it REALLY hard not to go there!!


----------



## jpmcgrew

PA what a lousy boss and not too smart either.If boss would let him rest a bit DH would be way more productive.


----------



## shannon in KS

gosh, I wish this thread didn't have to be, and we were all happy without life's craziness!  Wishing for a better day tomorrow!

My vent today is, I am just cranky.  Not outwardly towards others, at least hopefully not a lot, but just feeling very overwhelmed, like you get pulled in 28 different directions, physical, emotional, the whole thing, and then, you leave over half of it unfinished or unattended or just gave up, because you are too busy being sidetracked by all the other stuff, then nothing gets done.  Like I don't even have time to think! And I-NEED-MY-THINKING-QUIET-ALONE-ME-TIME!!!  Reminds me of a quote, "lost myself in a thousand compromises" sigh, going to bed.  Tomorrow is a new day.  I hope.


----------



## babyhuggies

my vent is little--and maybe even funny--but at the time....
i had just found out that my ex decided that since he didn't make alot of money during the last pay period that he doesn't have to pay child support..been waiting all week for the cheque.my other half is out of town working, Jake hasn't been going to sleep like normal since the time change..so i'm tired.i was changing the sheets on my bed and i have 2 big feather pillows that i have protective zipper covers on.well i don't always take those off to wash just the pillow case...well today i did 
there was a rip down the seam of the pillow and yup you gussed it..feathers everywhere...looked like i plucked a duck..
think i will be finding feathers for years..


----------



## Alix

Better today Shannon? I sure know that feeling. 

babyhuggies, GRRR!! Darn that ex and darn those feathers! Be very grateful it wasn't a foam chip pillow. Let me tell you from experience that you can't vacuum OR sweep that stuff up. You have to pick up each individual piece up by hand.


----------



## babyhuggies

okay thought today would be better~but no. Snowing so i have to at least shovel around the gates so we can open and close them...can handle that.but my little guy was up half the night cry with leg pains..now he slept until 11am...no going to bed early tonight.now i just went to throw my wash into the dryer.....the drain hose is leaking massive amounts of water..my laundry room is flooded  ...i am so frazzled...my son thought to help me while my back was turned trying to fix the running water from the hose(yes the machine was turned off but the water kept coming) he put the throw rug i have in front of the machine (cement floor-cold..yes thank goodness it is cement)on top of the drainage hole in the floor 
Am i to old to run away from home?


----------



## Alix

Oh man. You are having a week! OK, just get the mess cleaned up and say to HECK with the rest of the housework. Just put your feet up and play with your little guy. Everything else will work itself out. Open a can of soup (or 3 or 4...you have teens too right?) for dinner and call it a day. A glass of wine wouldn't go amiss either.


----------



## SizzlininIN

Alix said:
			
		

> Oh man. You are having a week! OK, just get the mess cleaned up and say to HECK with the rest of the housework. Just put your feet up and play with your little guy. Everything else will work itself out. Open a can of soup (or 3 or 4...you have teens too right?) for dinner and call it a day. A glass of wine wouldn't go amiss either.


 
Or click your heels together  ..... okay if only it worked that way.  Sorry your having a tough go of it right now hopefully things will level out soon.... in the meantime Alix is right to heck with the rest it'll still be there I'm sure.  You did remind me though of when I was a teen and my sister had a friend spend the night and we decided to have a pillow fight.........bad decision because we were using feather pillows.....who'd of thunk those suckers would just decide to explode  ... needless to say we were scrambling to clean up the mess before dad got home from work..... mom was none too happy but kept reminding us dad would be home soon and we'd better have the mess cleaned up......you never saw 3 girls kick it into overdrive fast enough  .

Shannon......sure hope today is better than yesterday.


----------



## crewsk

Well, I have a big vent. I just got a call from hubby & he's been laied off!! He's on his way home right now. He was told this morning that it was between he & a lady he works with. The lady has been there 6 years compaired to hubby's 1 year so they kept her. Right now, I'm not sure how we're going to make it, we always do when we have these bumps in the road, but it's always hard. One thing's for sure, it brings us closer together. I have to keep looking for the small blessings until he gets another job.


----------



## Uncle Bob

Miss Crewsk...

His eye is on the sparrow....

Things will be fine!

{{{{{Miss crewsk}}}}}}


----------



## crewsk

Thanks Uncle Bob! He's been looking for another job for a while now & has sent out several resumes. At least he's got a little bit of a head start on things.


----------



## Barb L.

Prayers sent for all the ventors - hoping everything works out for all and feeling better!


----------



## Alix

Man oh man. Crewsk, that is a BIG vent. Major nasty news. Hugs to you all and prayers for a BETTER job and soon are going up for you. You guys have had a crappy run lately too.

My vent is truly insignificant. I was looking forward to a haircut today, but the hairdresser oopsed and had me written down for the wrong day. ARGH. And then I was supposed to go pick something up and I had the wrong address so I ended up driving all over the place in vain. Finally gave up, came home and made a cup of tea and got the phone call with the "oops, sorry about that, here's the right address". I'm going to finish my tea and IF there's time after that to pick up that stupid piece of crap I will go do that. Otherwise I'm going to snuggle down with my kitties and read something funny and wait for my girls to come home from school.


----------



## urmaniac13

crewsk said:
			
		

> Well, I have a big vent. I just got a call from hubby & he's been laied off!! He's on his way home right now. He was told this morning that it was between he & a lady he works with. The lady has been there 6 years compaired to hubby's 1 year so they kept her. Right now, I'm not sure how we're going to make it, we always do when we have these bumps in the road, but it's always hard. One thing's for sure, it brings us closer together. I have to keep looking for the small blessings until he gets another job.


 
Oh no Crewsk!!  I remember your last crisis a little over a year ago and I hoped you guys were set for a good while when he found the new opportunity... let's hope and believe he will find something better and bigger soon, something that is truly for him.  But for good people like you and your family, I am sure things will turn out well no matter what happens.  I will keep you in my thoughts, and wish you guys nothing but the bestust!!  Keep your chin up and keep smiling, and be strong!!

((((Hugs))))


----------



## csalt

Uncle Bob said:
			
		

> Miss Crewsk...
> 
> His eye is on the sparrow....
> 
> Things will be fine!
> 
> {{{{{Miss crewsk}}}}}}


 
*It may not seem like it now, but Uncle Bob is sooooright. Hang in there Crewsk and vent here..it may help *


----------



## crewsk

Thank you all so much!!


----------



## kadesma

_crewsk,_
_right now, I'm sure you feel like you've been kicked by a mule...And it's hard to sit still and listen to us all say it will be better, and just hang in there..I'll just say to you..You are loved, you have each other, and YOU will perservere..A good deal of prayers and happy thoughts are on the way.._

_kadesma_


----------



## pdswife

Sorry to hear this Crewsk.  I know it's a hard thing to go through. Been there done that but... as I was thinking about it I realized  HEY, it's almost summer!!
 If hubby has to be off work this is a nice time for it.  Think of the good times you'll be able to have as a family ( between Job interviews)!!!


----------



## babyhuggies

oh crewsk....that is a much worse day than me....i send you big hugs and hope things turn around for you guys soon.


----------



## PA Baker

Oh, crewsk, I'm so sorry this had to happen to you guys again!  You're so fortunate that things like this bring you all closer--it could just as easily go the other way.  You have a very special family.  Give them all a big hug tonight.  I hope Matt's doing OK.

We're here for you if there's anything we can do.  {{Huge Hugs!}}


----------



## CasperImproved

Okay... My pet peeve at the moment is that I do 95% of the cooking in my house (kids are out of the house and in college), and it's mostly just my bright star wife and I at home, and I do like to cook. I DO NOT have issue with the cooking part... what I have issue with, is that my bright star can not make a cup of coffee without making a mess of less then one counter...

I love her to death (married 24+ yrs), but she couldn't clean a sink to save her life.  

Casper

Anyone else relate?

And yes, I know this is pidly in comparison to some posts... but thought it should be lighhtened up after 123 pages  I was starting to get depressed... i

Crewsk - Please tell us you have some good news.... in any case, my prayers are with you.


----------



## csalt

That's what makes marriage happy!! The sheer messiness of it all at times!!

Carry on enjoying that coffee


----------



## urmaniac13

Casper, I can truly relate... my partner Cris loves to cook too and very good at it, but he is a type who thinks of only the immediate present and not worry about the mess he makes and the fact of having to cleaning it up, he will use just about everything and then some in the kitchen, spills everything all over the counter, table and floor, honestly he does clean it and cleans it well *WHEN* he remembers, but most often, he doesn't!!


----------



## crewsk

Thank you all so much! Your thoughts, hugs, & prayers are truly being felt! Hubby is doing fine, he had a feeling this was coming, just didn't know when.


----------



## SizzlininIN

So sorry to hear this Crewsk. Thoughts and prayers are with you guys.  I can only imagine how stressful you all must feel.  Does your area have a temporary work service in the area?  I know a lot of people in this area use it to get their foot into places they want to work.  It may tide you guys until he finds what he's looking for.


----------



## crewsk

Thanks Sizz! We have several Temp agencies around here. That's how hubby got this last job. Also, the Job Placement Office (or Unepmloyment Office) is less than a mile from our house. He went ahead & filed his unemployment papers online yesterday so they'll get them first thing Mon. morning. He also has his resume on Monster. Between that & my work, we'll be able to keep our heads above water until he finds another job. Things will be tight but we'll make it.


----------



## SizzlininIN

Well thats good to know.........in the meantime best keep him busy around the house......... or you can send him my way I have lots he can do....gutters need cleaned, foundation needs a coat of paint, etc....


----------



## shannon in KS

What fun! I am being e-stalked on DC by my ex-boyfriend.   Every time I make a post, I get a nasty little email!


----------



## Katie H

shannon in KS said:
			
		

> What fun! I am being e-stalked on DC by my ex-boyfriend.   Every time I make a post, I get a nasty little email!



Aw, shannon, he's just jealous because you have a whole world of friends and are having a good time.


----------



## SizzlininIN

Sorry Shannon that you have to deal him still. So sad that he just can't move on and leave you be. We're here for you girl!


----------



## CharlieD

PA Baker said:
			
		

> ...
> 
> ....His boss made it clear that between the time he missed for my grandfather's funeral last week and the two days this week for pneumonia he had to stay all day .................


. 
Wow, what is wrong with the people.
I have to thank G-d for my Boss everyday. He is such a nice guy. He never puts the job before people,  never. Work always comes second. But we pay back with working double hard when or if we had to take of, for whatever reason. And even guy who we had before, who was a bustard at work, even he aways cared for my family and kids, and always made sure that I take care of family first. He would not even let me work overtime on the weekends, acording to him weekends were for family, the one he did not even have. I doubt I could work for anybody like that, no matter how much money.


----------



## Uncle Bob

shannon in KS said:
			
		

> What fun! I am being e-stalked on DC by my ex-boyfriend.  Every time I make a post, I get a nasty little email!


 
Uncle Bob will send war party with many braves, spears and arrows to Ks.
Take scap of Stalker.... Then he leave Miss Shannon alone!!!


----------



## csalt

*Beached!!*





*Do you ever feel so tired you just feel totally beached?!!*

*No big vent. Just that's how I feel just now. How did Methuselah manage it!! *


----------



## YT2095

YT sends love and Energy to csalt, a good nights kip and you`ll be right as rain in the morning


----------



## csalt

YT2095 said:
			
		

> YT sends love and Energy to csalt, a good nights kip and you`ll be right as rain in the morning


----------



## shannon in KS

If the Dove ad-girl "dare's me" to show mine like she is showing hers, and then to make a film of it, she is gonna see a different set of "lumps" in her mailbox... Does this woman taking her shirt off every time you switch pages drive you bonkers?!?!?! Men are ineligible to respond to this question.

Edit: Wouldn't it be nice if Dove introduced a men's line, so we can watch him strip and flex his abs? Or we can ask Axe, or no, Calvin Klein to sponsor us.  The Calvin guys are hot!  Or Abercrombie.  ok, I better stop.  But hey, I am not mad anymore.


----------



## VickiQ

I'm trying very hard to stay positive but, it seems like since my surgery life has been rattling me. I am fine- maybe that's the problem- I am wondering why I am I fine when so much heartache is going on around me. The day of my surgery,our friends who were expecting twins in May,went into early labor.They were expecting a little boy and a  little girl.The little girl was born before the labor could be stopped and lived for 10 minutes dying in her parents arms.Labor was stopped before the little boy presented. The Mom was on bedrest for maybe 5 days when she developed a bladder infection and because of the bacteria labor was induced and the little boy was born at 2:30 am Monday.He weighs 1 lb 13oz and there is presence of bacteria is his system. We got a call from his Dad last night saying that he was told to stay because little Brady was having difficulty breathing.We haven't heard anything yet.(The little girl was named Breanna)
OK so if that wasn't bad enough, my first outing after my surgery was to go say good-bye to my friend Kathleen who was dying of pancreatic cancer.I got to spend 4 hours with her and she held my hand for almost the entire time. Kathleen was 53 had just recieved her nursing degree and was full of life. She had a smile that was brighter than sunshine and when she told stories, it ws like listening to a song from the melodious tone of her voice,laced with her Jamacian accent.She was a beautiful person through and through and the type of person this world could only benefit from. She passed last Friday.
This morning we recieved word that another friend of ours has passed from lymphoma.Maryann was my son Jymm's babysitter after school when he was 5 and 6 and her daughter Andrea and he were best friends.Maryann volunteered at every charity there was and always gave from her heart.Another soul that this earth is better off having here.Another soul that has left this earth far too early.I know this is not my decison, I know that this is not my choice but, Ican't help but,ask the powers that be what are you thinking??
Thank you for letting me vent.Now it's time for a good cry.
Wishing you all with all the power I can muster-love and energy, Vicki


----------



## pdswife

vicki, hugs to you.

I came to vent but...after reading your post well, it just doesn't matter any more.


----------



## Half Baked

Oh Vicki, sometimes (many times) it is very hard to understand.  I just try to keep faith that there is a plan but it doesn't stop me from questioning.

Big hugs, Vicki.

PDS, it does put things in perspective, doesn't it?


----------



## kadesma

_Vicki,_
_As beautiful as life is, at times, we have to wonder why? We all do and then we realize that, why doesn't help, but that finding a way to help others eases some of the pain. You've been through a lot and it seems to me this is doubly hard for you. Focus on all the love you gave to these who are now at peace, think about all they gave to you. Cry, pray for them and let the sun back in, be what they know you to be and it will  bring a smile to their lips. It helps us heal from lifes hurts.Many prayers will be sent for your friends and to you. Prayer and love are great healers._

_kadesma_


----------



## SizzlininIN

I'm so sorry for your losses Vicki.  Its hard to understand why the good Lord takes the innocent and good ones when there is so much ugly in this world....why doesn't he take the bad ones instead.  But there's a reason for everything and we'll understand that one day.  For those of use left behind its a reminder of how precious this life is and to live it the best way you can and to let those around you always know how much you love and treasure them.


----------



## Alix

Oh Vicky, my heart aches for you. I wish I had some beautiful inspiring words to make this all make sense, but I just don't. I'm hugging you in spirit and sharing your tears.


----------



## Alix

Pdswife, in no way will your vent be ignored. Every vent is necessary and welcome. Some are just deeper hurts than others.


----------



## SizzlininIN

Absolutely...........thats the beauty of this topic.......doesn't do anyone any good to keep that frustration pent up inside..... let it out girl . No matter how big or small if it bothers you then its worth getting of your chest.


----------



## shannon in KS

Love and hugs Vicki.  Just as you were lovingly there for those you loved the most in their deepest hour, we are here for you also now.  My heart goes out to you in your grieving.  Just as you wish to take others pain away with your love and thoughts, so do we.  Blessings.


----------



## VickiQ

Thank you all for your love and comfort- I knew this was a safe place to shed the tears.(((Pds))) please let your feelings out here - you will feel so much better I wish you love and energy to get you through your problem and love and energy to all of you, Vicki


----------



## csalt

*All We Can Do*




*No words can comfort                            *​ 

*All we can do*
*Is share your *
*North face route with you.*
*No one can take *
*Your pain away*
*Or cut bereavement's journey short.*
*Perhaps you would not want them to*
*Your grief is all that's left to you*
*Of one so loved*
*Who could not stay.*
*All we can do*
*Is walk with you*
*And try to match*
*Our steps to yours.*
*Friends do not need*
*Acknowledgement:*
*Don't waste your strength *
*To make response*
*Just keep on walking*
*Day by day .*
*But let us share *
*That cold road too*
*To walk a little*
*Way with you.*​​
*( by Mary Sheepshanks*


----------



## pdswife

Thanks guys.  I just wanted to say that I'm sick of unkind, stab you in the back, unfair, mean, ugly, people that are power hungry and use the power that they have to hurt the people that I love!   


We're having neighbor problems and it's getting worse daily.  My poor hubby is suffering because of it and it makes me mad.

Thanks, that felt good.


----------



## SizzlininIN

pds.........i hope a resolution happens quickly so that peace of mind can come to both you and your husband.  I know how frustrating it is with neighbors that don't think of others or how they treat others.


----------



## Bugs

yeesh...i know about power hungry people. 

I have this one teacher who is just so annoying! We have a major project going and she's making it due for Friday! It's definitly not enought time! And what annoys me the most is that she says we can do it all during class but i've spent hours working on it at home! AND...she's been away all week so we can't ask her any questions. grrrr.

ok...i feel a little better now.


----------



## CharlieD

Wow, Vicky, I was going to vent about something, but after reading your post, it sounds so trivial that I'd be ashamed to complain about it. Your post brought tears to my eyes. The only thing I can tell you is to say Thanks G-d you are okay, you are alive. Everything that comes from G-d is good. Unfortunately, some times we can't see the goodness. As one great person said, I wish you that all the good that comes to you will be reviled good, so you do not ever have to wonder. I wish you all the revile good too...


----------



## shannon in KS

Heavy heart, and the tears flow too freely, still loving the one that is the curse and the cure.  praying for the tears to end, and hope, faith, and understanding to enter soon to ease the pain.


----------



## jpmcgrew

If I remember correctly Shannon this person is monitoring you on this site so maybe you guys should PM instead dont give him any more info on whats going on with you, if he can he may use it againts you,I say this with respect but but he is getting way to much insight here.KAPISH?


----------



## jpmcgrew

OOPs!I almost forgot change your password on this site just in case he has it or the PMs will not be safe.


----------



## SizzlininIN

Good idea jpmcgrew....I'll copy and paste to the pm.


----------



## Alix

The person bothering Shannon no longer has access to the site. Just FYI. Still, those precautions are good ones. We all need to remember not to reveal too much personal info on here. We become so close we forget that other people are reading this too. Whoops!


----------



## jpmcgrew

How is that done Alix cant people go on any computer and access DC as a guest?


----------



## VickiQ

(((Shannon)) I wish you lots of love and protection from anyone that would try you. 
Here's an update on little Brady. His Dad was told to spendthe night on Wednesday as Brady had cerebral hemmoragh and difficulty breathing. But by Thurs morning the hemmoraghing had stopped and he was breathing easier. Today the doctors noticed a perforation in his intestine nd are going to repair it.What a strong little guy huh??His Mom was discharged this morning but, is staying with hisDad in the Ronald Mc Donald house on the hospital property.
Jimmy and I went to the wake of our friend Maryann on Wednesday night. I had to go see her youngest daughter Andrea who was my son Jymm's oldest friend and who Maryann loved like a son. I had to hold  herand tell her how much I loved her and she said to me " Ilove you to and I hope you know how much my Mom loved you and now she and Jymm are together and this brings me comfort knowing my Mom is with Jymm"This made my heart very heavy but at the same time I was glad to know this brought her comfort.
Tomorrow is ourfiend Kathleen's memorial service. It has definitely been an emotional week. Maybe it's the hormones- I don't know but, I'm wondering why so many good people are taken at once. I don't feel worthy of much right now but, I'm sure that I will realize how much better a person I am for having them and not to mention all of you in my life.LOve and energy, Vicki
PS I wrote this through a torrential down pour of tears -thank you for letting me release them.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Alix*



			
				Alix said:
			
		

> The person bothering Shannon no longer has access to the site. Just FYI. Still, those precautions are good ones. We all need to remember not to reveal too much personal info on here. We become so close we forget that other people are reading this too. Whoops!



Alix, now you tell me!  No wonder I have someone listening on the phone, sending me emails, leaving things on my lawn, etc.  Could be someone knows so much about me they know how to annoy me.  Even though a person is adult, can't trust each other.  Sure thankful my dogs don't have 'sick' thoughts.  

To be honest, whenever I commented on this site, I wanted to consider people I could trust.  What a wake-up call.


----------



## shannon in KS

thank you for the kind words and pm's.  I don't feel my words would cause any problems, and I don't believe he will be checking on here anymore, even if he is blocked and can gain access otherwise.  I would by no means use the site as a means to harass him either.  Just really having a tough time.  I have lost my parents and several good friends over all this, and I am so angry, and there is so much mending to do.  Again, thank you for being there with such kind words when I needed them most. 

And now for my next vent...

I am attending the funeral of a fallen soldier today, leaving behind a wife and child.  However, if any of you have heard of a certain radical protest group from Topeka, KS, they will also be attending.  There will be over 300 Patriot Guard there to block them, but these people are horrible!  I am sickened by the reaction my dear friend will have if she sees their presence.


----------



## crewsk

Another vent from me. Hubby has pneumonia!! I was in the ER with him at 6:45 this morning due to him having trouble breathing, chest pain, & weakness. He has been in pain & having a little trouble breathing since Thurs. We thought it was a pulled muscle, pneumonia didn't even enter our minds because he hasen't been coughing or running a fever. I can at least look at it this way, he hasen't started a new job yet so he can get the rest he needs.


----------



## Snoop Puss

Oh my goodness, Crewsk. And you still manage the smilies. Hope he gets better soon. Don't forget to take care of yourself as well.


----------



## JoAnn L.

crewsk said:
			
		

> Another vent from me. Hubby has pneumonia!! I was in the ER with him at 6:45 this morning due to him having trouble breathing, chest pain, & weakness. He has been in pain & having a little trouble breathing since Thurs. We thought it was a pulled muscle, pneumonia didn't even enter our minds because he hasen't been coughing or running a fever. I can at least look at it this way, he hasen't started a new job yet so he can get the rest he needs.


 
Gosh, Crewsk, you guys have been through so much lately. Sure hope your DH will be feeling better real soon.


----------



## buckytom

sorry, no time to read thru any of the recent posts.

good on ya, my support to you, hope it gets better, and all of that.

but i need to vent.

ahhhh.   AHHHHHHHHHH.

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i need to hit something. very hard. anyone got any ideas? 

hey, where does erik live? i've always regeretted destroying anything, or hurting anyone that didn't really deserve it (in 20/20 hindsight).


----------



## Katie H

buckytom said:
			
		

> sorry, no time to read thru any of the recent posts.
> 
> good on ya, my support to you, hope it gets better, and all of that.
> 
> but i need to vent.
> 
> ahhhh.   AHHHHHHHHHH.
> 
> AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> i need to hit something. very hard. anyone got any ideas?
> 
> hey, where does erik live? i've always regeretted destroying anything, or hurting anyone that didn't really deserve it (in 20/20 hindsight).



Thank you, bucky.  Finally someone who feels as I do.  The whole "apron" thing has been festering in my heart and it just pi$$es me off.  I feel as though I've been raped or robbed and all my stuff has been ransacked.  In fact, I sent an email to Erik imploring him to return the apron, but I suppose my email fell on deaf ears.  Crap and a half.  Or in the words of Frank Barone, "Holy crap!!"  I know you'll understand my last sentence.

And, yes, I want to hit people and break things.  What a creep!!!  May a gazillion fleas infest his armpits!!!!


----------



## buckytom

lol, actually k.t.e, i'm fed up with someone else.

as far as bringing erik into it; revenge is a dish best served cold.


----------



## pdswife

Bucky, I hope what ever is bothering you gets better!  SOON!!!!


----------



## Snoop Puss

Wow, Erik, aprons and mysterious others. I have no idea what any of this is about but I hope you two manage to find satisfaction.


----------



## crewsk

Thanks Snoop & JoAnn! 

Bucky & Katie, all my best to you both! I hope that whatever is bothering you Bucky is soon over. 

Katie, I know how you feel!


----------



## SizzlininIN

Well I was finally able to sit down and read through the posts I've fallen behind on.  

Shannon....I hope with time your relationships with family and friends can be repaired. I think it'll be easier for them once they know that he is finally out of the picture and they don't have that uncertainty of his return.  Stay strong! 
P.S. Sorry about the loss of your friend....hopefully they can keep those persons at bay.

Crewsk....hope DH is feeling better.  Any word from the place he last interview at?

Vicki....again so sorry for your losses. I've noticed the older I get the more people are passing and I guess its because their getting older too.

Bucky...... sorry someone is upsetting you so.

Thoughts and prayers with you all! Hopefully, today will be a brighter day!


----------



## csalt

Crewsk...so sorry to hear DH is ill. This is for him


----------



## crewsk

Thanks Sizz & csalt, he'll enjoy this!


----------



## JoAnn L.

We finally have a nice day. I got some screens on so I can open the windows and what do I hear? Lawnmowers. Some neighbors are cutting their grass already. Come on, it is still brown.


----------



## redkitty

I went to bed with a scratchy throat and woke up with a cold!  I haven't been sick in over a year... My boss has been sick for 2 weeks and continues to come into the office with snot pouring out of him and sounding just awful.  Now I'm home on the sofa with Posh blankey (yes my favorite blankey has a name!) sipping tea wishing something decent was on TV to watch.  Gonna have to pop in a dvd soon..... 

Stupid cold...... 

Thank you all for listening to me complain!


----------



## csalt

This might help 

Tell your boss to choose his gifts more carefully


----------



## csalt

*Ouch! Ouch! Ouch*






Yesterday I spent a while cleaning the shower with our little steam cleaner. I didn't notice that I was bending in any way different from usual but my back has made BIG complaints ever since!! Shame really as I do treat it with a certain amount of respect and it hasn't been that bad lately til now..


----------



## ronjohn55

Can I get that Hot Toddy with just the Whisky? 

It's 7:10am here, and I'm already thinking I need a drink....  

John


----------



## SizzlininIN

redkitty said:
			
		

> I went to bed with a scratchy throat and woke up with a cold! I haven't been sick in over a year... My boss has been sick for 2 weeks and continues to come into the office with snot pouring out of him and sounding just awful. Now I'm home on the sofa with Posh blankey (yes my favorite blankey has a name!) sipping tea wishing something decent was on TV to watch. *Gonna have to pop* in a dvd soon.....
> 
> Stupid cold......
> 
> Thank you all for listening to me complain!


 


 thought you said gonna have to poop but after reading it again realized I was wrong 

Do hope you feel better today.


----------



## SizzlininIN

csalt said:
			
		

> Yesterday I spent a while cleaning the shower with our little steam cleaner. I didn't notice that I was bending in any way different from usual but my back has made BIG complaints ever since!! Shame really as I do treat it with a certain amount of respect and it hasn't been that bad lately til now..


 
Ouch......I think back pain and a tooth ache are the worst pains. Relax and grab a heating pad and some over the counter pain med for pain/inflammation and do like redkitty and pop a dvd in and relax on the couch. Hope you feel better soon!


----------



## JoAnn L.

redkitty said:
			
		

> I went to bed with a scratchy throat and woke up with a cold! I haven't been sick in over a year... My boss has been sick for 2 weeks and continues to come into the office with snot pouring out of him and sounding just awful. Now I'm home on the sofa with Posh blankey (yes my favorite blankey has a name!) sipping tea wishing something decent was on TV to watch. Gonna have to pop in a dvd soon.....
> 
> Stupid cold......
> 
> Thank you all for listening to me complain!


 
So sorry to hear you are under the weather...hope you get better soon!


----------



## YT2095

Grrrr....

I`ve just had to Ban someone off our forum (not this one), and it falls right on the heels of a large yearly staff meeting where it was decided not to use Heavy Handed ways and be all nicey nicey.

Guess who was the First to Ban someone ???

it was all done by the book, 3 warnings were given and then they went into Flame mode on the boards, so I gave them 24 hours ban to sober up.

so no cigar for guessing who this weeks Mr, Bad-Guy is *sigh*


----------



## Half Baked

Meltdowns on a forum are never pretty but they can be entertaining.  

Sorry it was you that had to toss the key for 24 hrs...but because you sound like a mellow fellow, I'm sure it was well deserved.


----------



## redkitty

Awww YT that su*ks!  But now you've done it so if it needs to be done again it will be a bit easier.  I had to fire someone when I owned my own business and that was awful!  You are always the good guy to us around here!!!

Thanks for the get better wishes everyone, I'm still all snotty and sneezy, but feeling a bit better!


----------



## Katie H

That's okay, YT.  You're still one of our "good guys" as redkitty said.  Think of this way, someone's in the naughty corner and it's not you.


----------



## YT2095

yeah, Thnx each 

the Normal ban would have been 14 days with that many Official warnings for that offence, but I did a Manual Ban for 24 yours instead.
I`m just Narked that it fell on My shift.


----------



## SizzlininIN

Bummer YT!  Obviously you did the right thing so try not to beat yourself up about it.


----------



## YT2095

no need, I`m sure someone else will try beat me up for it instead, that`s normaly the way it goes, esp since I saw him fill in a Forum Feedback form *sigh*

I`ve just told Admin now anyway.


----------



## Snoop Puss

Everyone must know what he's like, YT. And somebody obviously had to take action. So they should all be grateful that you acted on the forum's behalf in what would seem to be an appropriate manner. Nicey-nicey doesn't work with people in flame mode.


----------



## Alix

You did your job YT, believe me, I completely understand how sucky that can be. Consider though, if you had left him to his own devices what a mess would have been left for the next guy to clean up.


----------



## YT2095

you make good points, and it was other folk he was flaming too, if it were just me being trolled it would be different.

I feel better now for my <Rant>  cheerz each


----------



## YT2095

ROFLOL )

this just made my day! I`ve Since learned that I`ve been using the entire "warning system" wrongly, and the user I warm gets the PM but no Points against them.

so all the Finger pointing about heavy handed moderators doesn`t apply to me at all ))

not only has this fixed yesterdays problem, but also much of the "Finger pointing" that`s gone on in the past, I`m Vindicated as NOT GUILTY! )


Mwuahahahahahaaaa


----------



## Half Baked

That's our man, YT!  You came out smelling like a rose!


----------



## redkitty

I burned my tongue on my soup.  

I've gone through 3 boxes of tissue in 2 days. 

Stupid cold.


----------



## Half Baked

Oh Kitty....I'm so sorry. Feel better soon.

Put an ice cube in your soup before sipping...xoxo


----------



## redkitty

Half Baked said:
			
		

> Oh Kitty....I'm so sorry. Feel better soon.
> 
> Put an ice cube in your soup before sipping...xoxo



  Thanks Jan!


----------



## YT2095

you`ve really had a Rough go over the last few days aint ya!

YT sends Hugs 

(ignore the gas mask and asbestos suit)


----------



## pdswife

Get better soon!

Mine isn't really a vent... more of an OPPS!
We've had a trip planned to Mexico for Months.  I really thought we were leaving Sunday morning and  I had my week ( and Paul's) planned out perfectly for that.  I just looked at the tickets.  We leave SATURDAY morning!!!  I'm a day late and a dollar short as always!  OPPS!!!!


----------



## kadesma

pdswife said:
			
		

> Get better soon!
> 
> Mine isn't really a vent... more of an OPPS!
> We've had a trip planned to Mexico for Months. I really thought we were leaving Sunday morning and I had my week ( and Paul's) planned out perfectly for that. I just looked at the tickets. We leave SATURDAY morning!!! I'm a day late and a dollar short as always! OPPS!!!!


I'd be smiling oooops right out the door..That's not even an ooops. it's a hurrah, hurrah, hurrah Wish I were off to Mexico again..Have FUN...

kadesma


----------



## pdswife

lol.. yep, lots to smile about.  It is a business trip though so we'll be working hard.  Don't worry though.  I'll make sure that we have a few hours for walking the beach each day.

Paul's only staying for 4 days but I'll be there for two weeks.  I'm meeting up with a friend and that's when the real work begins.  ( and the real fun!!!)


----------



## Half Baked

What LUCK, pds!!!  Sounds great to me, even if you have to work a bit.


----------



## pdswife

Thanks Jan.  It'll be nice to get out of this rain and into the warm sun!!!


----------



## redkitty

Have fun in the sun!!!


----------



## Snoop Puss

Hope you have a good time, pds. Plus, at least it wasn't last Saturday morning!


----------



## pdswife

So very true Snoop!   
I can't even begin to tell ya how much venting would be done if we 
missed that plane!  lol!!!


----------



## Uncle Bob

Miss pdswife..

Please tell me you are taking a lap top so you can check in a couple of times!! I know you will have a good time because that in the plan. Right?
Do take care! 

(psssst! don't drink the water)


----------



## Uncle Bob

Now that I have hugged Miss pdswife good-bye. It is now my turn to vent.

I HATE PLASTIC GROCERY BAGS!!!!!!

Ok..all better now. 

 Wait! I did not hug Miss pdswife!!{{Miss pdswife}} 


OK..NOW all is better!


----------



## Katie H

Uncle Bob said:
			
		

> I HATE PLASTIC GROCERY BAGS!!!!!!



I'm with you, Uncle Bob.  I want a nice big, heavy paper one and have been reduced to hoarding the few I have.

And, why is it, every time I shop at Wal-Mart and purchase a handful of items, I get a gazillion plastic bags for those few purchases?  If not for recycling them when I return to the store, I'd be up to my all-American eyeballs in them.


----------



## Uncle Bob

Miss Katie....

Very good question. They are *suppose* to be a cost savings to the retailer.
If used properly they can be. However as you said "they" use so many of them there is no way it is a savings. I hate them. Prefer paper any day!!


----------



## pdswife

Thank you uncle Bob!  A good time is in the plan!


----------



## kadesma

_I guess, I'm just too darn picky..I love little kids and would do anything for them. I guess I shouldn't expect others to feel as I do. But how do you convince a doctors groups office employees to take a little child who has cried for over 5 hours with an earache to sse him? I suppose you do what I did today  I called for my daughter so we could take Carson in..He came to me this morning at 7 by 9:30 we were walking the floor with a little boy crying, by 10:30 I called, no way no how, would they be able to see him. Didn't I know you had to make appointments in advance!!! Sure, next time I'll plan his earache in advance for ya  by 1:30 my arms were falling off and Poor little Carson was screaming in pain..I call again, the gal started to give me lip, so I hung up, called my daughter, put Carson in the car and we then went to the office..I marched in, got told almost the same thing, Carson who had dozed of from exhaustion woke and started to scream again..I said fine, I'm sitting here til my daughter gets here, you tell her you won't take care of this baby..I sat, he screamed, daughter showed up, about that time they figured I wasn't going away and took him in...I left and came home cuz, I was close to doing the mad woman scene in the office..Now I'm waiting to hear how my poor little guy is..Me mad,? Me angry? Me want to wring necks?  Right on..Upshot, I got one new reason for not taking him today...office staff leaving early for office Easter party, boy would I like to smash their easter eggs!!! _

_kadesma_


----------



## callie

wow, kades...i don't blame you one bit!  The best thing you could have done is take that little guy in the office so they could see him and HEAR him cry, too.  way to go!  I hope he's feeling better this evening.


----------



## JoAnn L.

*Kadesma.*

GOOD FOR YOU. You did exactly the right thing. Poor little guy. I sure hope he is feeling better. We all know how bad an earache hurts.


----------



## texasgirl

kadesma said:
			
		

> _I guess, I'm just too darn picky..I love little kids and would do anything for them. I guess I shouldn't expect others to feel as I do. But how do you convince a doctors groups office employees to take a little child who has cried for over 5 hours with an earache to sse him? I suppose you do what I did today I called for my daughter so we could take Carson in..He came to me this morning at 7 by 9:30 we were walking the floor with a little boy crying, by 10:30 I called, no way no how, would they be able to see him. Didn't I know you had to make appointments in advance!!! Sure, next time I'll plan his earache in advance for ya by 1:30 my arms were falling off and Poor little Carson was screaming in pain..I call again, the gal started to give me lip, so I hung up, called my daughter, put Carson in the car and we then went to the office..I marched in, got told almost the same thing, Carson who had dozed of from exhaustion woke and started to scream again..I said fine, I'm sitting here til my daughter gets here, you tell her you won't take care of this baby..I sat, he screamed, daughter showed up, about that time they figured I wasn't going away and took him in...I left and came home cuz, I was close to doing the mad woman scene in the office..Now I'm waiting to hear how my poor little guy is..Me mad,? Me angry? Me want to wring necks? Right on..Upshot, I got one new reason for not taking him today...office staff leaving early for office Easter party, boy would I like to smash their easter eggs!!! _
> 
> _kadesma_


 
YOU GO GIRL!!!! I bet they think again before any of your grandbabies are sick or hurting!!!


----------



## kadesma

callie said:
			
		

> wow, kades...i don't blame you one bit! The best thing you could have done is take that little guy in the office so they could see him and HEAR him cry, too. way to go! I hope he's feeling better this evening.


Hi Callie,
his mom just called and his ear is infected so DH is off to pick up some amoxacillan for him..I hate having to do things like that and I wouldn't if it were for me, but a 2 year old needs to be taken care of. He expects his loved ones to protect,feed,care for and love him. I just wish, oters would try to understand the hurt a sick child feels.
Thanks for making me feel not so silly about making a fuss.

kadesma


----------



## kadesma

JoAnn L. said:
			
		

> GOOD FOR YOU. You did exactly the right thing. Poor little guy. I sure hope he is feeling better. We all know how bad an earache hurts.


Thanks Joann,
I didn't mind walking him,but when the poor little guy hurt for so long that he started screaming, I just couldn't take it.To see that little face looking at me, needing some help and I was helpless, the motrin, just wasn't enough and he was so miserable... he was quiet when his mom just called and even said bye Ma before she hung up..So, once we get him started on the anti-biotics, things should start to clear up.
kadesma


----------



## kadesma

texasgirl said:
			
		

> YOU GO GIRL!!!! I bet they think again before any of your grandbabies are sick or hurting!!!


Hi Texas,
I did behave badly, but, ya know, Carson, needed help and I just barged in and insisted.I'd rather things were different, but I do believe I'd do it over if I had to.These kids are everything.

kadesma


----------



## jpmcgrew

OMG!Kades that is horrible I just had my very first ear infection a couple of months ago at the age of 49 I was getting too aggressive in cleaning my ears and brought it on my self but having gone thru it I know it is an awful pain, now I know why my younger brothers cried so much when they got the ear infection. It hurts like h**l.The only thing that really works is antbiotics the only other thing for a little relief is some warm air from a blow dryer to make the pain stop as long as you use it but the pain comes right back once you stop.How inconsiderate of these people to let a child suffer like that.Fortunatly I had some Ampicillan that friends gave me when they buy a supply from Mexico.It took care of the problem. I have a book called( Where there is no doctor).Its meant for third world countries.Any way it shows you how to diagnose certain problems and on the back pages in green tell what how much medicine you need to fix it it So I looked up the ear thing they tell you what to look for what you need to fix it and how much medicine you need to fix it. When you have no where else to turn its a great book to have.
Will post link in a minute.JP


----------



## Michelemarie

Kadesma, I am sorry you had to go through that! It is so awful to see our little ones in pain, isn't it? I hope Carson is on his way to getting better soon - and good for you for  getting him the help he needed!


----------



## kadesma

jpmcgrew said:
			
		

> OMG!Kades that is horrible I just had my very first ear infection a couple of months ago at the age of 49 I was getting too aggressive in cleaning my ears and brought it on my self but having gone thru it I know it is an awful pain, now I know why my younger brothers cried so much when they got the ear infection. It hurts like h**l.The only thing that really works is antbiotics the only other thing for a little relief is some warm air from a blow dryer to make the pain stop as long as you use it but the pain comes right back once you stop.How inconsiderate of these people to let a child suffer like that.Fortunatly I had some Ampicillan that friends gave me when they buy a supply from Mexico.It took care of the problem. I have a book called( Where there is no doctor).Its meant for third world countries.Any way it shows you how to diagnose certain problems and on the back pages in green tell what how much medicine you need to fix it it So I looked up the ear thing they tell you what to look for what you need to fix it and how much medicine you need to fix it. When you have no where else to turn its a great book to have.
> Will post link in a minute.JP


Thanks JP,
I feel so lucky that my DH is a pharmacist,it sure helps, he had it called before the doctor visit, but he can only fill rx's not write them so a doc was needed..But we got some amoxacillian and this should do the trick.

kadesma


----------



## jpmcgrew

I know its a primitive book but has alot of good info when you are at your wits end.Also I have also just showed up at a doctors office if Im really stressed like a panic attack and just cant wait for an appointment because I can not breath and do not want to suffer thru the weekend.

*Where There Is No Doctor*


----------



## jpmcgrew

Well that book says for Africa but the one I have is geared more for Mexico but Im guessing they are the same,


----------



## kadesma

Michelemarie said:
			
		

> Kadesma, I am sorry you had to go through that! It is so awful to see our little ones in pain, isn't it? I hope Carson is on his way to getting better soon - and good for you for getting him the help he needed!


Oh boy michele, it was a horror. Poor little kid. He's had the first dose of anti-biotic and finally fell asleep. So, now just get all the med in him and he will be fine.Mommy is staying home with him tomorrow so that will help alot. 
kadesma who is pooped


----------



## kadesma

jpmcgrew said:
			
		

> Well that book says for Africa but the one I have is geared more for Mexico but Im guessing they are the same,


Thank you JP, I'll look for a copy to keep here in case I need it. You just never know when  it might be needed like today!!!

kadesma


----------



## jpmcgrew

You can even just blow the hot air from your mouth into the ear to stop the pain for a while but you cant do it forever but the warm air works for as long as you do it,


----------



## kadesma

jpmcgrew said:
			
		

> You can even just blow the hot air from your mouth into the ear to stop the pain for a while but you cant do it forever but the warm air works for as long as you do it,


This afternoon as Carson was leaning against me I put my head down so my nose was at the top of his ear and he nodded off from the warmth of my breath. I'll call his mom and remind her of that and to try to keep his head elevated that helps to relieve the inner pressure. Thanks for reminding me.

kadesma


----------



## corazon

That sounds like a rough day kads!  I hope Carson is doing much better!  Way to make a stand for your Grandson, showing up at the dr.  

We are very lucky to have a group of about 20 docs working in the same office.  If one of the kids is sick and our doc is busy, then the kids can see someone else.  They also have a 24nurse you can call for advice. 

Great big hugs for you and Carson!


----------



## kadesma

corazon said:
			
		

> That sounds like a rough day kads! I hope Carson is doing much better! Way to make a stand for your Grandson, showing up at the dr.
> 
> We are very lucky to have a group of about 20 docs working in the same office. If one of the kids is sick and our doc is busy, then the kids can see someone else. They also have a 24nurse you can call for advice.
> 
> Great big hugs for you and Carson!


Thanks Cora, this group has about 12 doctors and an on call nurse, it's the office gals who tried to give me a bad time. I bet the all run for cover the next time they see me  In fact Carson has a check up next month. I think I'll talk my daughter into letting me take him 

kadesma


----------



## JoAnn L.

jpmcgrew said:
			
		

> You can even just blow the hot air from your mouth into the ear to stop the pain for a while but you cant do it forever but the warm air works for as long as you do it,


 
I remember when I was little and had an earache, my mother smoked, and she would blow the warm smoke into my ear. It really did feel good.


----------



## SizzlininIN

Poor lil guy! Don't you dare feel guilty about what you did..........if anything you encouraged others to stand up and march right into their doctors offices and sit till the staff surrenders. But above all you showed little C that Gma was a hero....be proud of yourself.  He should really start feeling much better by tomorrow. Give him a gentle hug for me.


----------



## kadesma

SizzlininIN said:
			
		

> Poor lil guy! Don't you dare feel guilty about what you did..........if anything you encouraged others to stand up and march right into their doctors offices and sit till the staff surrenders. But above all you showed little C that Gma was a hero....be proud of yourself. He should really start feeling much better by tomorrow. Give him a gentle hug for me.


Sizz, thanks for the pep talk  I don't feel so bad now, but I did regret being forced to play the wicked witch  I don't however feel bad that I got attenton for Carson, the doctor and the nurse my daughter said were both very gentle and did all they could to keep him comfortable. It was just the office staff that was a problem. He's already had two doses of the amox and by tomorrow like you say, he will feel so much better. And I'll pass on your gentle hug to him..He loves hugs..
kadesma


----------



## expatgirl

Glad to hear that everything worked out for the best and that your grandson is doing much better.  As a child veteran of numerous  ear infections (it got to where I prayed on a rosary on the way to the emergency room and a 2 hour wait  minimum with my dad) I can just feel what you must have gone thru.  Of course back then we didn't have the great tasting bubble-gum flavored amoxicillin---we had the tank-sized, pain-searing (hence the rosary) penicillin shot in the gluteus maximus.  But I have to admit by the next morning you felt so much better.

Grandmas are not to be messed with when it comes to children suffering and believe me there is no worse pain in a child than a throbbing earache.


----------



## urmaniac13

Oh dear me, poor, poor Carson!!  (((Hugs)))  Your action shows what a role model of a "Ma" you are, and you have nothing to apologize about or feel bad for regarding the action you took.  I would have been right up there with you if I could, after all, as an adoptive aunt!!  

I hope and pray he will be better and out of pain very soon!!!


----------



## pdswife

Kades... you are a good grandma!!!!

Glad to hear things are better today!


----------



## jpmcgrew

Yep! Sometimes you do what you gotta do either for yourself or others I have found that if you raise a little H**l you get what you need.Being assertive with people really works but you must be diplomatic to get what you want and persistance almost always works.
Kades you can get the book on Amazon.If anything else its an interesting read it even shows you how to deliver a baby.


----------



## kadesma

expatgirl said:
			
		

> Glad to hear that everything worked out for the best and that your grandson is doing much better. As a child veteran of numerous ear infections (it got to where I prayed on a rosary on the way to the emergency room and a 2 hour wait minimum with my dad) I can just feel what you must have gone thru. Of course back then we didn't have the great tasting bubble-gum flavored amoxicillin---we had the tank-sized, pain-searing (hence the rosary) penicillin shot in the gluteus maximus. But I have to admit by the next morning you felt so much better.
> 
> Grandmas are not to be messed with when it comes to children suffering and believe me there is no worse pain in a child than a throbbing earache.


Thanks expat, things are quiet and happy this morning and our little man is up and about and smiling, and so is his Ma..

kadesma


----------



## SizzlininIN

Awesome news Kads!


----------



## kadesma

urmaniac13 said:
			
		

> Oh dear me, poor, poor Carson!! (((Hugs))) Your action shows what a role model of a "Ma" you are, and you have nothing to apologize about or feel bad for regarding the action you took. I would have been right up there with you if I could, after all, as an adoptive aunt!!
> 
> I hope and pray he will be better and out of pain very soon!!!


Hi Aunty,
I would have more than welcomed your help yesterday.
Daughter just called and a little voice said Hi Ma   He slept all night and is up and bugging mommy for pbj for breakfast  Kids, they pop back so fast...Having a chat with him was so nice..He usually won't do much but say Hi, bye and he's gone..So I felt so good at the I love  you this morning, I bet I fly all day 
kadesma


----------



## kadesma

pdswife said:
			
		

> Kades... you are a good grandma!!!!
> 
> Glad to hear things are better today!


Hi pds, he is up and running this morning. Mommy is home with him today but they are comming by so we can make some pretzels, Why when there is a billion things to do before sunday..But I promised so bring on the pretzels 

kadesma


----------



## kadesma

jpmcgrew said:
			
		

> Yep! Sometimes you do what you gotta do either for yourself or others I have found that if you raise a little H**l you get what you need.Being assertive with people really works but you must be diplomatic to get what you want and persistance almost always works.
> Kades you can get the book on Amazon.If anything else its an interesting read it even shows you how to deliver a baby.


Thanks jp,
I do want to get that book, so I'll go see amazon..Thanks. I kind of think I wasn't to diplomatic yesterday, but I was as stubborn as a mule. Does that count? 

kades


----------



## jpmcgrew

Being stubborn is great just think if he had to go thru all last night and today before he got his medicine.I would complain to the head of the doctors about the office girls alot of the time the docs have no clue what they are up to.
When you get the book let me know what you think.


----------



## kadesma

jpmcgrew said:
			
		

> Being stubborn is great just think if he had to go thru all last night and today before he got his medicine.I would complain to the head of the doctors about the office girls alot of the time the docs have no clue what they are up to.
> When you get the book let me know what you think.


I sure will. I'm so glad you let me know about this book. It will be great to have on hand.

kades


----------



## pdswife

It's so funny.... our condo isn't quite finished so we're staying in another condo down the road for a few days.  Maid service has been spotty at best.  No new towels... haven't swept.. made the bed but... I don't think they changed the sheets, table sticky, things like that.  Today, I stuck around while the maid was here... what a difference.  They swept and washed the floor, cleaned the toilets, wiped down all the surfaces and gave me tooooo many new clean towels.   

I guess my vent is.... why don't people do their jobs correctly?
Do they think that I can't tell a dirty towel from a clean one?  I wiped up some coffee with one yesterday and they folded it up but put it on he counter.... sigh... 

lol.... not much of a vent I guess.

smiles, T


----------



## Half Baked

roflmao, we had hired a cook/housekeeper when we visited.  One evening we were served liver and I immediately spit it out in my napkin.  I never thought we'd have to discuss dinner since I assumed (I know...azz u me) that Mexican food would be served.

*Hey this has NOTHING to do w/Mexicans...it's just when help is hired for a week or so, some of them don't give a rat's behind.*

Well, the next time we had her make dinner, I unfolded my napkin and the liver I'd spit out was still there.  LOL, she hadn't even bothered to shake out the napkin before it was refolded.


----------



## jpmcgrew

Kades found the one you want
"

", "
See larger image");

 

*Where There Is No Doctor: A Village Health Care Handbook (Paperback) *
by David Werner (Author), Carol Thuman (Author), Jane Maxwell (Author) 




(50 customer reviews) 
List Price:$22.00 Price:*$22.00* & eligible for *FREE Super Saver Shipping* on orders over $25. Details 

*Availability:* In Stock. Ships from and sold by *Amazon.com*. Gift-wrap available. 

*Want it delivered Friday, April 6?* Order it in the next 0 hours and 13 minutes, and choose *One-Day Shipping* at checkout. See details 


*25 used & new* available from $17.99

table td.otherEditions { text-align: left; vertical-align: middle; }Also Available in:List Price:Our Price:Other Offers:Paperback (2Rev Ed) [URL="http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0333516516/ref=lp_g_1/104-7097203-8321507?ie=UTF8&qid=1175811307&sr=1-2"]15 used & new from $17.53 [/URL]

Keep connected to what's happening in the world of books by signing up for Amazon.com Books Delivers, our monthly subscription e-mail newsletters. Discover new releases in your favorite categories, popular pre-orders and bestsellers, exclusive author interviews and podcasts, special sales, and more.


----------



## kadesma

_Thanks JP,_
_will get this going tonight... I appreciate your help._

_kades_


----------



## VickiQ

(((Kades))) I'm just reading this now- The poor little guy and his "Ma". Dennis used to suffer from ear infections all the time when he was little I unfortunately remember his younger years as one big scream. He was prone to them due to a deformed eustachian tube but, I know the poor kids suffer so with the pain and when you have hard hearted imbeciles(can I say imbeciles can I even spell it correctly???) who aren't feeling that pain or care to know that a child is in pain- well don't get me started!!!!!I sure hope the worst is behind him and every one will be able to have a Happy Easter!Carson sure is lucky to have a stand up for him grandma!!!!!Love and energy, Vicki


----------



## jpmcgrew

I just remembered when I worked I worked in surgery at a hospital in Colorado all I did was clean equipment etc but we would get alot of Native American kids in to the surgery department to get Tympanoplasties spelled wrong Im sure which was getting a graft over the ear drum to cover a hole that was caused by letting an ear infection go too long.Nothing the parents did wrong but just not having the means to fix it in the first place.
You should have seen these kids they where so stoic and never cried or showed any fear.


----------



## kadesma

VickiQ said:
			
		

> (((Kades))) I'm just reading this now- The poor little guy and his "Ma". Dennis used to suffer from ear infections all the time when he was little I unfortunately remember his younger years as one big scream. He was prone to them due to a deformed eustachian tube but, I know the poor kids suffer so with the pain and when you have hard hearted imbeciles(can I say imbeciles can I even spell it correctly???) who aren't feeling that pain or care to know that a child is in pain- well don't get me started!!!!!I sure hope the worst is behind him and every one will be able to have a Happy Easter!Carson sure is lucky to have a stand up for him grandma!!!!!Love and energy, Vicki


Hi Vicki,
Carson was up at 7 demanding pbandj for breakfast  He is much better today, no more pain, but he tires out pretty fast. His mom took today off so he is one happy camper right now. Me, I didn't realize just how keyed up I was til I tried to sleep last night.  At 3 this morning I finally was able to relax after some hot tea and just sitting in the dark looking outside...I had the day to myself as DH had to work so I just got things done for sunday and made Alix's bar cookies again this time with chocolate chips, and the short cakes for sunday...Got cooies cut and shortcakes bagged and in freezer, did some planting around my fish pond and then just had some ice tea and sat outside..I know I'll sleep well tonight. Have a wonderful Easter with your family and thanks for thinking of us..

kadesma


----------



## kadesma

jpmcgrew said:
			
		

> I just remembered when I worked I worked in surgery at a hospital in Colorado all I did was clean equipment etc but we would get alot of Native American kids in to the surgery department to get Tympanoplasties spelled wrong Im sure which was getting a graft over the ear drum to cover a hole that was caused by letting an ear infection go too long.Nothing the parents did wrong but just not having the means to fix it in the first place.
> You should have seen these kids they where so stoic and never cried or showed any fear.


OH those poor babies,and their poor parents. It's had to understand a world where some have so very much in life and other so little,but one day maybe, people will realize and some change will come about..

kades


----------



## jpmcgrew

I understand Carson being so tired and you, it took alot of energy to deal with so much pain now that it is gone and he is feeling good you and him can finally can can get back the energy you need to feel normal again sometimes all you need is a good sleep its needed to get back to how he he and you used to feel because these things are so incredibly draining and now it feels soo good to to finally get a really good nights sleep.


----------



## gemabu

Alix,
I hate refilling bobbins.  You can buy pre-threaded bobbins at wal-mart or any place they sell thread usually.  They cost about $1.82, you get like 16 in a pack, usually black and white.  You can't usually put as much on w/ your machine as comes pre-threaded, which means you don't have to stop as often and when you do  have to stop you just pop one on from the pack and not wreck your sewing flow. I love them!
I have no vent, I am pretty happy today!  But w/ the holiday this weekend, I'm sure I can feel one coming on soon.  Happy Easter to those who celebrate it


----------



## texasgirl

My youngest boy moved to some apartments in another city. They are old, but, decent. Well, I thought they were until my son called me yesterday and told me that someone broke into his truck!!!!! I am so MAD!! The momma in me wants to go find the little jerk and beat the crud out of him!! Why is it we work hard for even the little things and some punk comes up without any feelings and steals what they refuse to work for?? Thankfully, they weren't able to get his subs out. They are pretty much built into the truck, but, they got his ipod nano and a soft pellet gun. There goes $200 worth of things that he doesn't have the money to replace now!! AND had to pay to fix the window that they busted out!!
Too many people on this earth that are too freaking lazy to work and get their own things! ARGH!!!


----------



## kadesma

Texas,
it's never ending! The minute you get two steps ahead someone decides they want what you have..I to get pretty fed up with the goofs who feel the world ows them a living..Why should they work for it they will just helpthemselves to yours! Makes me want to kick em to the curb...I'm just so sorry about this..Your kids have had enough..It's time they got a break for a change...Thank heaven they have you and DH..
kadesma


----------



## callie

ok...this is petty, I know.  I don't get frustrated often - BUT.  I live out in the sticks.  The only way for me to shop is online.  Usually all goes well...I splurged and bought a necklace and a pair of earrings to match.  The necklace is great.  The earrings?  Well, I could see they were broken before I even opened the package.  So I returned them for a replacement.  The 2nd pair came - one earring hung backwards!  So...I returned them with a note.  Tonight I got a phone call from the company.  "What is wrong with the earrings?"  I explained.  She said, "I don't understand."  I explained AGAIN. I had filled out their form for a replacement.  She asked if I want a credit?!! No, I'd like a replacement...hmmmmmm.  Should it be so difficult?


----------



## kadesma

callie said:
			
		

> ok...this is petty, I know. I don't get frustrated often - BUT. I live out in the sticks. The only way for me to shop is online. Usually all goes well...I splurged and bought a necklace and a pair of earrings to match. The necklace is great. The earrings? Well, I could see they were broken before I even opened the package. So I returned them for a replacement. The 2nd pair came - one earring hung backwards! So...I returned them with a note. Tonight I got a phone call from the company. "What is wrong with the earrings?" I explained. She said, "I don't understand." I explained AGAIN. I had filled out their form for a replacement. She asked if I want a credit?!! No, I'd like a replacement...hmmmmmm. Should it be so difficult?


Callie,
Yup, it's like talking to a rock! The same thing happened to me with a Christmas present for one of the boys..Ordered the oldest boy 3 different types of bacon and two types of sausages, got the box, 3 kinds of sausage and a ham!!! I call, okay, send it back, I send it back, they send me the same darn box I just returned!!! So I call, tell them exactly what I want, and they do send the right thing, only now they want me to pay for two orders of 3 bacon and 2 sausages plus a ham I returned!!! ARGGGGHhhhhh..Poor woman still can't hear Needless to say, no more from that place..They are done,.
kadesma


----------



## callie

thanks, kades!  I know it doesn't just happen to me...i feel much better venting here - and knowing you listened.


----------



## CherryRed

I'm usually not one to spill my heart out to the first person who'll listen, but tonight I'm taking full advantage of this venting thread.

My boyfriend and I went to a car show in New York. He was trying to get a picture of one of the exhibits at one point but couldn't get a clear shot because so many people kept walking in front of it. He finally gave up and jokingly said to me, "At least I got a good one of those hot models." I flipped. Why? I have no idea. And that's precisely why I'm upset.

Usually I just roll my eyes at things like this. I'm able to acknowledge that there are women more attractive than I am, and that it's totally natural for my boyfriend to be attracted to them. He doesn't make these comments too often and he's never given me reason to think he would be unfaithful.

Today, however, I felt personally attacked. It felt like he was saying "Well they'll never notice me, but you're a decent consolation prize." Anyway, long story short, we left the show early and talked it out. I explained that I don't expect him to shut off his attraction to good looking women, but that it might not be the best thing to share with me. I told him that although I'm still physically attracted to other men, I don't feel the need to point it out and make him feel inadequate. He understood, told me he only meant it as a joke, and reassured me that I was more than just some shabby second-best.

That's all resolved, but I'm still frustrated with myself. I wish I knew why I reacted the way I did, or why I'm so hard on myself, or whether I'll ever be good enough for my own standards. Aaarrrgh!!!

(Sorry if I sound like a lunatic. I sure do feel like one though.  )


----------



## kadesma

Cherryred,
How long were you supposed to sit still for those remarks? Once would have been enough for me and I'd have quietly said, you hurt my feeling and since I don't say things like that to you, I'd appreciate the same consideration..
You know many times we take things and take them then one day it just is too much. You've had a hard week, you don't feel as good as you should, your hair didn't go the way you wanted, you feel tired and you still have a ton of things you should be doing..Then you hear "THE" remark!! Well, you blow your top...It's over and done..Feel good that you were open and brave enough to speak up.. instead of pouting and sulking,That counts for a lot..Do not be down on your self. We all have to learn to let little things slide, but the ones to us that are BIG, speak up and don't be ashamed..We don't have to yell and shout, but we have to take care of us and do it well before we can take care of others..You will be fine. Go look in the mirror and tell yourself, hey pretty girl, you ROCK!!!
kadesma


----------



## Katie H

Well, CR, if you are puzzled why you reacted the way you did, perhaps you can think about how you were feeling about yourself at that time.  Also, you mentioned sounding like a "lunatic" in your post.  No, you didn't.  But it made me think of the word and that is comes from "moon," which made me think of the tides, which, in turn, of cycles.  You get where I'm going with this line of thought?  Sometimes we are more sensitive to things when we are having our period.  Was that the case?  Just trying to sleuth out some possible causes for why you "popped."

The good thing, though, is that you two worked it out.  I notice your age, so if you can learn this relationship skill early, you are well on your way to sustaining a good, healthy long-lasting relationship.  Good for you.


----------



## Michelemarie

Ditto what Kadesma said (she is always right!).  Today is a new day Cherry, forget yesterday and enjoy today! Smile sweetie!


----------



## CherryRed

Thanks, all of you. I think I mostly needed to sleep it off because I felt tons better when I woke up this morning. All of your kind words definitely helped too.


----------



## crewsk

Can I scream yet? Hubby had Savannah in the ER Sunday night. She couldn't turn her right hand over & was complaining of her forearm hurting, but she wasn't in severe pain. Turns out that her humorous (sp) is fractured. She has a cast from her armpit to her wrist & has to wear it at least 2 weeks. It'll be reex-rayed at that time. We have no clue how she did it, that's what's so frustrating. On top of that, TC has to have part of his right big toenail removed tomorrow due to it becoming ingrown & infected. I'm exhausted beyond belief right now! Thankfully hubby has been helping out a lot, I couldn't ask for a better man. Anyway, I'm wearing out fast between working & taking care of a family that seems to be getiing hurt or sick every time I turn around.


----------



## csalt

This is for you to help you feel better.


----------



## crewsk

Thanks csalt!!  I can tell you right now, the first thing I'm doing as soon as hubby finds a job is going to get a really long massage!!


----------



## JoAnn L.

Gosh, you and your family sure have been through a lot lately. I sure hope and pray that things will get better real soon. JoAnn


----------



## csalt

crewsk said:
			
		

> Thanks csalt!! I can tell you right now, the first thing I'm doing as soon as hubby finds a job is going to get a really long massage!!


 
*May it be very soon*
*

.*


----------



## crewsk

Thanks JoAnn!! I can rejoice a little today though, TC didn't have to have anything done to his toenail today, but I have to take him back next month to see how it looks then. Savannah went back to the doc today & they had to cut part of her cast off because it had cut into her underarm.


----------



## michen_122

hehe, a venting thread... I love this website!  So next weekend my husband's mother will be in town and as som ebackground, I really like to try out cosmetic products like look-younger sort of things (as a side-note, I am really liking Relastin right now ) but despite that fact, I am really a "less is more" kind of person and its really more of a hobby than an appearance obsession or anything like that.  So Edna, my husbands mother _thinks_ that she is a less is more woman, but for mercy sake, she is a dead ringer for Endora from bewitched some days!  Anyway, that wouldn't really bother me, except shes an "advice" type and she knows I'm into these look-younger products and so she jumps all over the topic and IT IS KILLING ME 

*sigh*  Thats kinda therapeutic... I may be back for another post 
next weekend


----------



## Half Baked

rofl - don't wait til next weekend....! 

Crewsk.  You have been run through the mill lately.  It's time for your karma to kick in...bless you heart.


----------



## kitchenelf

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{CREWSK}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I can't believe it!!!!!!!!  Hey, need an agent for writing a book?  

Know my thoughts are with you - as always!


----------



## StirBlue

I don't know if anyone has noticed but women are becoming aggressive drivers behind the wheel.  It used to be all men at 9:00 a.m. at the Courthouse for traffic court and now it is about half & half.  

There was a lady in a great big pickup with duals waiting to pull onto the street from a shopping center which I was waiting to enter.  I was in the turn lane and when the traffic cleared, her tires started rolling.  Yeah, right, over my insurance policy!  (two cars rolling at 5 mph or less is not going to cause a dead body...LOL)

When I entered the grocery store, a women with one of those big child carts was roaring behind me.  I stopped between two bakery shelves on a short isle to let her pass.  Another woman came swinging her cart toward me running to the bakery counter to see if they had one last meringue pie. (did I look like I wanted it just because they were on sale?)

I tell you if I had not been between those two shelves, I would have been pancaked by those two carts.  Pancaked I tell you!  I could already hear the store calling for clean up on the bread isle! 

Maybe it was just a sales strategy to get me to buy some pita bread!  So I put a package in my cart but when nobody was looking, I put it on a shelf behind some charcoal next to the mops where no one will ever think to look for it.  (Anyway, the sample lady gave me an expired coupon for the wrong brand)

All this makes me think about shopping online and having it delivered.


----------



## bethzaring

crewsk said:
			
		

> Can I scream yet? Hubby had Savannah in the ER Sunday night. She couldn't turn her right hand over & was complaining of her forearm hurting, but she wasn't in severe pain. Turns out that her humorous (sp) is fractured. She has a cast from her armpit to her wrist & has to wear it at least 2 weeks. It'll be reex-rayed at that time. We have no clue how she did it, that's what's so frustrating. On top of that, TC has to have part of his right big toenail removed tomorrow due to it becoming ingrown & infected. I'm exhausted beyond belief right now! Thankfully hubby has been helping out a lot, I couldn't ask for a better man. Anyway, I'm wearing out fast between working & taking care of a family that seems to be getiing hurt or sick every time I turn around.


 
crewsk, I hope things even out for you soon!

I have read that there is a recent dramatic increase in bone fxs in children and Vit D deficiency is being blamed.  Is Savannah a milk drinker?


----------



## Snoop Puss

Crewsk, hope everything works out. You could of course get your husband to give you the massage in the meantime.


----------



## csalt

StirBlue

If we ever visit the USA should I remember to take out extra insurance for shopping trips?


----------



## csalt

*Car hoovering and washing*

If left to DH the car *only* ever gets cleaned when it goes in for a service and they valet it before returning it. 
As I have been doing all the driving since DH had his op ( and is not able to drive again yet) I hoovered it all inside then washed it today.
DH comes out at the end , looks all round and says " Oh, you have been busy havn't you, the car looks so clean!"
I could have thrown the sponge at him! 
Good job he didn't say" you've missed a bit here!" then he really might have got the sponge!! 

Normally I don't mind what I do but the novelty of doing *every single chore *is wearing off *fast. *


----------



## shpj4

I am sorry that he didn't even say what a good job you did on the car.

I don't have my car washed very much but it supposed to rain here on Friday and I will be going out in the late afternoon so I hope it really rains hard and the dirt will come off the car.


----------



## StirBlue

csalt: How would you like to be a POA for an energetic 20 year old who occasionally goes on holiday?  And lives on the other side of the world!


----------



## csalt

Poa?.................................


----------



## lulu

Price on Application?

anyway, a vent for DH.  Tomorrow is a big day for him and he can do nothing to control it from now on....his UK contract is being raised at the interntional partners meeting.  He didn't know until yesterday, he's really tense about it, and frustrated because he was asked to a meeting with NO notice and asked to give a talk on a file he handled for about an hour about three weeks go.....given even ten minutes notice he would have refreshed his memory but he had an allnighter this week and quite frankly did not expect to have to handle this file again, especially not with no notice, and had not idea he would be presenting on it.  He's kicking himself for making a "bvrutta figura" the day before his contract is discussed (also only told yesterday, just as grabbed to give this presentation...so doubly thrown).  He's feeling he might have blown it.....I cannot seem to relax him, but just ran abath and gave him a drink in theree to wind down...


----------



## StirBlue

csalt said:
			
		

> Poa?.................................


 
Power of Attorney.......taking care of some one's financial affairs, property, etc. and keeping up with phone numbers, addresses, and personal announcements like weddings and sports.  Not to mention care package necessities.  Oh, this reminds me, some taxes are due in two different states.


----------



## csalt

Oh I feel bad about my 'vent'.

Compared to yours and Lulus it's absolute peanuts isn't it?


----------



## crewsk

kitchenelf said:
			
		

> {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{CREWSK}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
> 
> I can't believe it!!!!!!!! Hey, need an agent for writing a book?
> 
> Know my thoughts are with you - as always!


 
How long do you have to sit & listen? It may take 6 months to a year just to get it all down! 



			
				bethzaring said:
			
		

> I have read that there is a recent dramatic increase in bone fxs in children and Vit D deficiency is being blamed. Is Savannah a milk drinker?


 
She is a really big milk drinker. She drinks about 1/2 a gallon every day. 

Thanks everyone for your warm thoughs & support! I crashed when I got home from work yesterday & slept for about 4 hours.


----------



## lulu

Hey Crewsk...I missed this....I'm thinking of you.

csalt, my vent isn't huge...but we do want to come home to UK soon, and its just proving so hard for DH to get a UK contract... his firm find him invalauble in Italy...seriously, he gets to do some cool work because he is one of the few who can, and the reasons he has not got contracts with other firms are not a discussion appropriate for here imo,   It;s a selfish moan, at least he has a job, its just we would like to be home and trying to get on the spiralling UK property ladder etc etc etc


----------



## csalt

Here's hoping something will work out for you soon.


----------



## shannon in KS

why do children only remember to flush the toilet.... when you are in the shower?     And further, an untimely vent, but realized vent, when I decide I want to take a bath, for fear of being scalded in the shower by their sudden aforementioned memory epiphany... then they need to go "like, really, really bad" and stink up a 47 foot radius?  I am sure understanding will follow after the scalded skin stops throbbing...


----------



## StirBlue

Your children are at that impressionable age that mine went through.  I learned very quickly to watch TV with them.  Cartoons (and especially cartoons) and Disney are chunked full of "slap stick" where no one gets hurt.  And then there are commericals.  I remember a commercial where Big Brother (BB) is taunting Little Brother (LB).  BB is in the shower and LB flushes the toilet in revenge.  We watched a cartoon where Deputy Dog was flying a helicopter and the bad guy handed him a pair of head phones with an ice pike in each ear piece.  The problem with the props is that they are common household things.  What child in the Midwest does not own a pair of winter ear muffies?  And how easy is it to find a toy screw driver or pointed lego to put in the ear muffies?  They can easily assemble a pair within minutes!  You have to reason a lot of these things out for kids.....and Home Alone was a major event in our house!  The bottom line is, if you don't have time to watch TV with kids then they should not be watching it without you.  I am a firm believer that TV is not a babysitter.  I remember watching a talk show where a parent was being interviewed in regard to her child's death.  He had hung himself by a piece of rope or clothing from the top of the door or his bunk bed.  He and his brother had just seen it on TV.  It was funny and they decided to do it.  Their mother was in a nearby room folding laundry.  

You apparently have a thick shower curtain around your tub and now all you need is a bathroom fan.  Spend time with your kids, after all, it's a temporary job.  How will they learn to handle all the big stuff?


----------



## StirBlue

csalt said:
			
		

> Oh I feel bad about my 'vent'.
> 
> Compared to yours and Lulus it's absolute peanuts isn't it?


 
I am sorry.  I didn't realize that I was being so rude.  Please accept my apology.  I am glad that you said something.  I think about how hard it is to clean a car inside and out.  And it is an exhausting job.  I would not want a job detailing cars for anything.  My feelings about your situation of not feeling fully rewarded for a job emaculately completed:  How would you feel if someone suddenly done all the things that you put off, procrastinate over, and have every intention to do?  Your Mr. csalt will recover sooner the more he is needed to fulfill all these things.  The less he is needed, the more he will resent the things you do that are his to do.


----------



## Alix

csalt, I don't think anyone found any of your posts rude. You are always brimming with kindness to others. 

Oops. I meant STIRBLUE!!


----------



## Half Baked

I never find the posts rude. People are going through such trying and hard times these days that sometimes we react because of our own thin skins. I can't think of a soul on here who would hurt someone, especially when they are feeling down.

I know I'm exhausted. Mr HB and I have had a very difficult few years and finally we're seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. It's a pin point, but it's light.

I can only be happy because we didn't have to go through this tough time with children. My heart aches for those of you with hard problems who also have to worry about your babies, children and teenagers. I am so sorry and I will pray for your difficulties to go away. Life can be hard.


----------



## lulu

No one is rude, we all know if we are posting here the other people reading are in extremis or at the end of tethers or just having a bad day.  We understand how it goes, and all gripes are best posted here than sat on, big or small.  

My dearest wishes to everybody this weekend.


----------



## StirBlue

Alix said:
			
		

> csalt, I don't think anyone found any of your posts rude. You are always brimming with kindness to others.


 
I was apologizing to csalt because I did not address her post.  I felt so awful when she replied about the peanuts.  Again I feel thoughtless and inconsiderate.....shame on me!


----------



## lulu

Life is tough, if friends can't acept a miscommunicastion it would be tougher.


----------



## kadesma

csalt, Stirblue,
I've never found either of you to post anything rude. I find you both to be honest, kind, helpfull to others..Just keep on being you. It's a treat to chat with both of you.

kadesma


----------



## Barb L.

Care for you all, everyone needs to vent at times big or small, letting it out and sharing helps !


----------



## csalt

StirBlue said:
			
		

> I was apologizing to csalt because I did not address her post. I felt so awful when she replied about the peanuts. Again I feel thoughtless and inconsiderate.....shame on me!


 
*Stir Blue..there was absolutely no need to apologise for anything! You just helped me to realise that I was being pretty petty ( one of my virtues! )*
*What I love about DC is it's honesty but it's total kindness. *


----------



## shannon in KS

StirBlue said:
			
		

> Your children are at that impressionable age that mine went through. I learned very quickly to watch TV with them. Cartoons (and especially cartoons) and Disney are chunked full of "slap stick" where no one gets hurt. And then there are commericals. I remember a commercial where Big Brother (BB) is taunting Little Brother (LB). BB is in the shower and LB flushes the toilet in revenge. We watched a cartoon where Deputy Dog was flying a helicopter and the bad guy handed him a pair of head phones with an ice pike in each ear piece. The problem with the props is that they are common household things. What child in the Midwest does not own a pair of winter ear muffies? And how easy is it to find a toy screw driver or pointed lego to put in the ear muffies? They can easily assemble a pair within minutes! You have to reason a lot of these things out for kids.....and Home Alone was a major event in our house! The bottom line is, if you don't have time to watch TV with kids then they should not be watching it without you. I am a firm believer that TV is not a babysitter. I remember watching a talk show where a parent was being interviewed in regard to her child's death. He had hung himself by a piece of rope or clothing from the top of the door or his bunk bed. He and his brother had just seen it on TV. It was funny and they decided to do it. Their mother was in a nearby room folding laundry.
> 
> You apparently have a thick shower curtain around your tub and now all you need is a bathroom fan. Spend time with your kids, after all, it's a temporary job. How will they learn to handle all the big stuff?


 
uuuuuuh, I am sorry if it sounded like I was livid with my child.  I actually wrote it while laughing about it.  It was an accident, not a scheming planned out attempt to burn me.  It's just funny, well afterwards, how kids keep our lives interesting at the least expected moments!!!


----------



## csalt

*An anagram of Fascist?*

Went to the Doctor yesterday and she diagnosed " Plantar Fasciitis" 

An extraordinary name for something that afflicts a very small part of the body.
Plantar fasciitis - MayoClinic.com

Any Latin scholars out there who know what the words mean? 

Be assured ( if anyone has this) the exercises really do help.


----------



## StirBlue

You might want to consult Superman about heel problems since that was the only part of his body which could be penetrated. I wonder what prompted the author to make his heel vulnerable? Maybe Plantar Fasciitis. 

Plantar Fasciitis.....my son pulled all the "stuff" (nerves, muscle...etc) from his heel upwards when he was in an athletic stance on the football field a few years ago. It was extremely painful for him. I call them "ice bag" injuries. Ice it...Ice it...Ice it. He had to soak his foot in a tub of water & ice. He said the ice water felt good. That must have been some cruel pain. 

I read your MayoClinic but it did not say anything about treatment for these heel afflictions. Did the doctor recommend anything?

Plantar Fasciitis:  A sheet or band of fibrous connective tissue enveloping, separating, or binding together muscles, and other soft structures of the heel.


----------



## luvs

my vent- my felines binge. they paw that closet till they get that open, they get crunchies & chomp through that bag like they're starving. 
i'm contacting a feline psych specialist.


----------



## csalt

StirBlue said:
			
		

> You might want to consult Superman about heel problems since that was the only part of his body which could be penetrated. I wonder what prompted the author to make his heel vulnerable? Maybe Plantar Fasciitis.
> 
> Plantar Fasciitis.....my son pulled all the "stuff" (nerves, muscle...etc) from his heel upwards when he was in an athletic stance on the football field a few years ago. It was extremely painful for him. I call them "ice bag" injuries. Ice it...Ice it...Ice it. He had to soak his foot in a tub of water & ice. He said the ice water felt good. That must have been some cruel pain.
> 
> I read your MayoClinic but it did not say anything about treatment for these heel afflictions. Did the doctor recommend anything?
> 
> Plantar Fasciitis: A sheet or band of fibrous connective tissue enveloping, separating, or binding together muscles, and other soft structures of the heel.


Yes SB. She gave me exercises to do and they do seem to help. Getting up in the morning is the most painful bit! especially for someone who actually likes getting up  Once I've statred walking around it's not so bad.


----------



## csalt

luvs said:
			
		

> my vent- my felines binge. they paw that closet till they get that open, they get crunchies & chomp through that bag like they're starving.
> 
> 
> i'm contacting a feline psych specialist.


 
Somehow I think I must have a very feline streak in me  especially in the evening


----------



## luvs

csalt said:
			
		

> Somehow I think I must have a very feline streak in me especially in the evening


 
there, there, we'll adress your ailment. my feline's doctor also works with people. his ring is 1-800-BINGE.
my felines went yesterday & my golly, they're CURED! 
binge-free since yesterday!


----------



## csalt

luvs said:
			
		

> there, there, we'll adress your ailment. my feline's doctor also works with people. his ring is 1-800-BINGE.
> my felines went yesterday & my golly, they're CURED!
> binge-free since yesterday!


 

Thing is luvs, I'm not at all sure I want to *be *cured. No wonder I'm a 'tubby rounder!'


----------



## luvs

csalt said:
			
		

> Thing is luvs, I'm not at all sure I want to *be *cured. No wonder I'm a 'tubby rounder!'


 
be as tubby as you want, tubby-rounder, we'll love you as we loved you before.


----------



## csalt

luvs said:
			
		

> be as tubby as you want, tubby-rounder, we'll love you as we loved you before.


 

*Gee....thanks...that makes me feel good *


----------



## luvs

csalt said:
			
		

> *Gee....thanks...that makes me feel good *


 
well, lovely.


----------



## lulu

I haad a great day yesterday, we got out of the city and played with a friend's horses, but thhis morning POW, back into stress.  DH has an interview at aother firm in UK on Wedesday, and his firm mentioned last week they were reviewing his file for his application to UK....he has full support and recommendations that the firm say is UNPRECIDENTED, not one reservation from the people with whom he has worked, not one doubt that he should be contracted in UK, but UK still have not made uop their minds.  It was discussed on FRiday, and DH reminded one of the partners he has a second round interview with another firm in UK this week and the partner, really keen to keep DH at the firm, chased it up.....the news is they have not decided.  I mean, its so weird, he is chosen by more teams than any other person in Italy by senior lawyers.  His work has een requested by teams in NY, Brussels, Paris and Germany offices in the same company so why are London dragging their heels?  It would even mean, in the short term, a pay CUT to go to London (in real terms the money would be a little more, but in London it will not go anything like the same distance) and the waiting is killing DH.  He doesn't want to leave these employers, he loves his job and his firm, and he fits in well, and his work is good and he is liked and respected, so what is the problem????

Argh.


----------



## csalt

*Chores*

There must be a Gremlin hiding in this house. As fast ( or not) as I manage to cross a chore off my list there it is again a few days later needing to be done.
e.g. ironing
baking
gardening
freezer de frosting
patio cleaning
oven shelf cleaning etc etc.

Who says life is dull but we still have time to enjoy it! friends, family and each other.


----------



## weeezer0421

I had a Birthday Saturday. My best friend called me on Saturday morning with birthday wishes also my father-in-law called with wishes. I'm the youngest of 5 not one of my siblings called or my husbands siblings. Needless to say I was very upset due to the fact we always go out of our way and mail out cards and call who ever is having a birthday. On Sunday morning one of my brothers called and tried to explain why he did not call for my birthday, the excuse was very lame to say the least and I ended up terminating the conversation ( I hung up one him). Sunday evening I was preparing dinner and my husbands sister called, I explained to my husband that I did not want to hear any type of excuse why I was not called on Saturday and refused to speak to her. Sunday evening around 9:45 I received a belated birthday e-mail from my brother-in-law, very impersonal if you ask me! I did receive a card from my oldest brother on Sunday morning when he dropped by to visit. I still have not heard from either one of my sisters. I'm 43 years old but I still have feelings and I'm very hurt that my family would do something like this...


----------



## YT2095

bought a new 18.7Kg propane gas bottle a few days ago, the thing`s Leaking!

I`ve called the guy back and he`s going to exchange it, it`s actually leaking where the collar goes into the bottle, and it will lite!

the YT is NOT Impressed, esp having this In the Lab!


----------



## luvs

make them jerks give you 2!


----------



## texasgirl

weeezer0421 said:
			
		

> I had a Birthday Saturday. My best friend called me on Saturday morning with birthday wishes also my father-in-law called with wishes. I'm the youngest of 5 not one of my siblings called or my husbands siblings. Needless to say I was very upset due to the fact we always go out of our way and mail out cards and call who ever is having a birthday. On Sunday morning one of my brothers called and tried to explain why he did not call for my birthday, the excuse was very lame to say the least and I ended up terminating the conversation ( I hung up one him). Sunday evening I was preparing dinner and my husbands sister called, I explained to my husband that I did not want to hear any type of excuse why I was not called on Saturday and refused to speak to her. Sunday evening around 9:45 I received a belated birthday e-mail from my brother-in-law, very impersonal if you ask me! I did receive a card from my oldest brother on Sunday morning when he dropped by to visit. I still have not heard from either one of my sisters. I'm 43 years old but I still have feelings and I'm very hurt that my family would do something like this...


 
Been there and unfortunately, done that. It does hurt. It also hurts when you realize what you forgot. My sisters and I are VERY close and for this to even happen is very very rare. But, things happen in each of our lives at different times and it does happen. Never intentionally though. I will hope that your situation was not intentional either.


----------



## csalt

It is very hard when we are hurt by loved ones close to us. But I promise you, that if you can find it in your heart to forgive them , the anger will lessen and eventually the relationships will heal. Not tomorrow or the next day but they WILL one day, I promise you.Try to release the resentment because you are harming yourself and that would be a shame. It isn't easy, but not many things worth value are easy. 
I sincerely hope things work out for you.
*Weezer0421 please don't think I'm preaching at you.*
*My daughter didn't speak to me for 5 years. She sent Christmas and Birthday presents to her Father. She felt she had a justifiable grievance for which she wanted to make me pay. I resolutely did nothing to reciprocate. I did ask her several times to forgive whatever I had done to hurt her. We went to her wedding and she ignored me. I felt suicidal about that. Now, that she has a child of her own and a struggle to cope all is healed between us. She has never said sorry, nor do I expect her to, that's not what love does. If you can bear the hurt and not react, I promise you it will come right.*
*Belated happy birthday *


----------



## kitchenelf

OK, there was a box of "stuff" my son had put by the dining room door - to either be taken to Goodwill or he was thinking about selling this "stuff" out in front of the house.  Something glass broke in the dining room.  I got the 6 x 8 Chinese crewel rug out from under the dining room table - removed the big pieces of glass and decided to have the carpet cleaned.  I folded it up and set it on top of this box of "stuff".  My husband said if he wasn't going to sell that "stuff" and since it was really stuff that Goodwill probably wouldn't want, he could load the Explorer up and take it to the dumpster at his office.







I didn't even notice the box was missing for a couple days - I got so used to seeing it and didn't pay attention anymore.  I know for a FACT I mentioned the rug on top but ultimately it is my fault.  The rug got thrown away - the dumpster was emptied when we checked.  It did make me kind of nauseous  but I realize it's just a rug and far worse things have happened and far worse things will happen than losing a rug - a perfectly good, beautiful rug


----------



## StirBlue

weeezer0421 said:
			
		

> I had a Birthday Saturday. My best friend called me on Saturday morning with birthday wishes also my father-in-law called with wishes. I'm the youngest of 5 not one of my siblings called or my husbands siblings. Needless to say I was very upset due to the fact we always go out of our way and mail out cards and call who ever is having a birthday. On Sunday morning one of my brothers called and tried to explain why he did not call for my birthday, the excuse was very lame to say the least and I ended up terminating the conversation ( I hung up one him). Sunday evening I was preparing dinner and my husbands sister called, I explained to my husband that I did not want to hear any type of excuse why I was not called on Saturday and refused to speak to her. Sunday evening around 9:45 I received a belated birthday e-mail from my brother-in-law, very impersonal if you ask me! I did receive a card from my oldest brother on Sunday morning when he dropped by to visit. I still have not heard from either one of my sisters. I'm 43 years old but I still have feelings and I'm very hurt that my family would do something like this...


 
I am confused.  You listed that you are from Illinois?  It is tradition that we give on our birthdays here in Illinois.  It may be unique to Illinois but it is part of the Illinois culture.  Why didn't you and your husband throw a party and invite your families?  Those in the workforce take cookies, cake, or a party platter to work for their friends on their birthdays.  Children take treats for their class even though they are going to have a party.  I think you and your families need to rehash our Illinois customs for celebrating birthdays before things get too far out of hand.  It's not too late to have them all over for a potluck.  If you want things to change then you are going to have to move to a different state.  How far are you from Missouri?


----------



## StirBlue

kitchenelf said:
			
		

> OK, there was a box of "stuff" my son had put by the dining room door - to either be taken to Goodwill or he was thinking about selling this "stuff" out in front of the house. Something glass broke in the dining room. I got the 6 x 8 Chinese crewel rug out from under the dining room table - removed the big pieces of glass and decided to have the carpet cleaned. I folded it up and set it on top of this box of "stuff". My husband said if he wasn't going to sell that "stuff" and since it was really stuff that Goodwill probably wouldn't want, he could load the Explorer up and take it to the dumpster at his office.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I didn't even notice the box was missing for a couple days - I got so used to seeing it and didn't pay attention anymore. I know for a FACT I mentioned the rug on top but ultimately it is my fault. The rug got thrown away - the dumpster was emptied when we checked. It did make me kind of nauseous  but I realize it's just a rug and far worse things have happened and far worse things will happen than losing a rug - a perfectly good, beautiful rug


 

Chinese Rugs are one of a kind.  My heart just fell out for you!  I have freelanced  as a tapestry artist restoring these types of rugs.  Although it is gruesome work, I find it very rewarding.  Some of the rugs that I have restored were 400 years old.  Now you will be looking for another rug.  

Did your son find out about the box of "stuff?"  My children used to make boxes of "stuff" and they ended up in the family room or living room.  It just seems like it is always inconvenient when they show up with the box of "stuff".  And as always, the box of "stuff" just sits there with things being piled on it and other things falling in.  We always ended up going through the box of "stuff" when the time came to get rid of it.  On one occasion, I found an old watch face with no casing and it looked like junk!  Of course I tossed it.  A few weeks later, I found a perfectly beautiful gold watch casing made of pure gold in his toy box.  That old watch face would have fit right in it.  My son had bought it at a yard sale for .25 cents.  So I had never paid any attention to it.  When I checked with a jeweler to see if we could replace the watch part, he said no, it was handcrafted.  He offered to buy the watch casing for $500.  The part I threw away was worth $1,500.  (We used the money to buy my sons some summer clothes & shoes.)   And so goes the box of "stuff."


----------



## csalt

Kitchen Elf..what can I say. I'm so sorry. If it were me, I know I would find the hardest part keeping my mouth shut and not harping on about it..which doesn't help at all, but I do find it hard!

I'm just SOooooosorry.

 Sending you a cup of friendly karma.


----------



## csalt

*Kind Thoughts Please?*

For various reasons, mostly loyalty, I cannot tell you why, but I feel like the bottom's fallen out of my world just at present and could do with a friendly word and/or thought. Thanks. Just send some positive vives my way so that I can give myself a good shake and stop being a self pitying misery guts.


----------



## lulu

positive thoughts csalt!

Well, just coming to type mine I feel better already!  Its so silly!  DH and I bought some tomato plants which have been doing really well, and DH, a novice gardener, loves them, he's done tomoatoes fow  a few years now, but hates doing the laterals as he feels kinda mean, so I do them.  Thismorning he said "Oh, I did the laterals this morning...no need for you to" and I've just been out checking and watering (I take these winow boxes seriously and spend as much time as I might in a smallish garden!) and he HAS lateralled...as well as taking the tops off three os the six.  Now I'm not sure what to do, if they will re sprout tops or if we need to now wait for another laterall and take the plant back down to there!  On the plus side, one of the ones with a top left has tiny flower buds!


----------



## JoAnn L.

csalt said:
			
		

> For various reasons, mostly loyalty, I cannot tell you why, but I feel like the bottom's fallen out of my world just at present and could do with a friendly word and/or thought. Thanks. Just send some positive vives my way so that I can give myself a good shake and stop being a self pitying misery guts.


 
So sorry that you are feeling down. I hope the hurt goes away in a hurry! Here's a little ((((hug)))) to help cheer you up!


----------



## kitchenelf

csalt said:
			
		

> For various reasons, mostly loyalty, I cannot tell you why, but I feel like the bottom's fallen out of my world just at present and could do with a friendly word and/or thought. Thanks. Just send some positive vives my way so that I can give myself a good shake and stop being a self pitying misery guts.



Well, I know a lot of us have a good handle on the English language but for the life of me I just don't think I can send you positive vives - no waaaaaaaay, no how, you can't make me!!!!!!!!!!!! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




vives - A disease of brute animals, especially of horses, seated in the glands under the ear, where a tumor is formed which sometimes ends in suppuration.

I don't care how much you want them you're not getting them from ME!  

I'm sorry you are going through what you are csalt.  I have certainly known that feeling of "the bottom has fallen out of my world" along with many other phrases to go along with that.  YOU, sweetie, have all of us.  We all value you here.  It's not a totally bad thing to just get lost in the moment.  We come out of that hole when we are emotionally ready.  It will make you a stronger, more confident person.  There is no need to live forever in this moment though.  You don't seem like the type of person that will do that though.  Give yourself a hug - that's from me.


----------



## kitchenelf

csalt said:
			
		

> Kitchen Elf..what can I say. I'm so sorry. If it were me, I know I would find the hardest part keeping my mouth shut and not harping on about it..which doesn't help at all, but I do find it hard!
> 
> I'm just SOooooosorry.
> 
> Sending you a cup of friendly karma.



That's just so not me when things get lost or broken. I have always accepted things like that.  Like I said, I might get a little sinking feeling but I can't make my son feel bad for something I did.  Now, the person who stole my wedding band and the only ring my son ever gave me - I'm not so good about keeping my mouth shut about that - but I don't go so far as to give him enough ammunition to sue me for slander.  I have some good friends who own a restaurant.  When they hired him I sat down and had a serious conversation with them.  They felt he wasn't like that as they had not seen signs of it.  He's not the sole reason but his contribution to this restaurant now closing is he has stolen thousands of dollars of beer, wine, food, liquor from their restaurants.  His room mates took a stance and turned him in to these people.

Vera - oh how I wish I would have looked through that pile on top of that box.  That is exactly what happened.  It was just a little emotional attachment and I enjoyed looking at it EVERY time I walked through the dining room.  But the reality of it is - it IS just a "thing".


----------



## StirBlue

I am really worried about a friend who is on the last league of her journey for taking care of her family.  She has spent the better part of 25 years taking care of her elderly parents.  Her father died in 1998 and her mother recently underwent heart surgery and will be transitioning from the hospital into a nursing home.  Her computer is on the blink so her e-mail system is on hold.  I call her every few days.  She is now in her early 50's.  She e-mailed me from the library to say that she went to the doctor for a prescription for zoloft (sp?) (anti-depressant).  They asked her if she was suicidal ... etc and she felt that she just needed the prescription to deal with everything that was going on.  She is a substitute teacher and is agonizing over her summer finances.  Financial arrangements have been made to cover what ever she needs but when I called her this evening she was upset over her natural gas bill.  It was for $40.  I asked how much her electric was and it was also around $40.  I think she needs a counselor to help her sort this all out.  (I live 1200 miles from her)  Her older sister is helping to make the necessary nursing home arrangements but I don't think she understands how intense this situation is for her younger sister.  She was talking about getting a different job and I suggested that she look for a slow pace office job.  To top it all, she told me that she has been getting hang up calls since her mother went into the hospital.  She is working on getting a Caller ID going and she has two inside dogs.  She regularly attends a church and maybe I should talk to her pastor.  She hasn't got her air conditioner going yet and it's likely to reach the 100's any time soon.  Can you think of anything else that I should be doing?


----------



## csalt

Kitchen Elf, I've only just caught up with you note re my typo error!! of 'vive' and I'm still laughing!!


----------



## csalt

StirBlue said:
			
		

> I am really worried about a friend who is on the last league of her journey for taking care of her family. She has spent the better part of 25 years taking care of her elderly parents. Her father died in 1998 and her mother recently underwent heart surgery and will be transitioning from the hospital into a nursing home. Her computer is on the blink so her e-mail system is on hold. I call her every few days. She is now in her early 50's. She e-mailed me from the library to say that she went to the doctor for a prescription for zoloft (sp?) (anti-depressant). They asked her if she was suicidal ... etc and she felt that she just needed the prescription to deal with everything that was going on. She is a substitute teacher and is agonizing over her summer finances. Financial arrangements have been made to cover what ever she needs but when I called her this evening she was upset over her natural gas bill. It was for $40. I asked how much her electric was and it was also around $40. I think she needs a counselor to help her sort this all out. (I live 1200 miles from her) Her older sister is helping to make the necessary nursing home arrangements but I don't think she understands how intense this situation is for her younger sister. She was talking about getting a different job and I suggested that she look for a slow pace office job. To top it all, she told me that she has been getting hang up calls since her mother went into the hospital. She is working on getting a Caller ID going and she has two inside dogs. She regularly attends a church and maybe I should talk to her pastor. She hasn't got her air conditioner going yet and it's likely to reach the 100's any time soon. Can you think of anything else that I should be doing?


 
SB ..I think talking to the Pastor would be a very good idea, but do it with your friend's permission. It is the role of the Church ( or rather the *people who are the Church*) to come to the aid of their fellow members. He/She may be able to organise some practical help.
I am so glad she has such a caring 'Listening Ear' in you


----------



## StirBlue

Thank you csalt.  Since I really do not know their church policies, I guess it might make an imposition on her.  She has just been in this relationship so long that I don't think she knows what to do with herself.  She does have a church friend who she always gives a ride to church.  Thank you for letting me know that I was doing something for her since I was feeling so helpless.


----------



## luvs

jake's getting a can of alpo as his dinner tonite, cause he's gonna be moping his way towards his doghouse. 
his Mom just rang me from florida cause his work left her a message 'bout his not showing & they were worried. 
he failed to mention that he'd quit-without notice to them-to me.
he got another job with wages he prefers, 'cept what if he wants to work with his former employer again if his new job doesn't work out as he expects.
he's too impulsive.
his choice, though, not mine. so.......


----------



## StirBlue

I hope that Alpo is not on the dog food recall list.  But then I am sure that you checked it.  Of course you may not even have a recall list!  

If someone is calling about his no show then he must have been a valued employee.  His new job may offer him more financial comfort and some room to advance.  Maybe he can enroll at the community college to take a class or workshop that would give him a career of choice.  He would also be getting a counselor to help him make these tough decisions.  Just a class in computers might make him feel worthy enough to launch a motive for a better and more stable career.  If he has to humble himself and apologize to his former employer and ask for a job, it would not be the end of the world but he does have to consider his job references.  Trying to better yourself should bring about good things.  Your concern for him is very genuine and I respect your concern.


----------



## CharlieD

csalt said:
			
		

> SB ..I think talking to the Pastor would be a very good idea, but do it with your friend's permission. It is the role of the Church ( or rather the *people who are the Church*) to come to the aid of their fellow members. He/She may be able to organise some practical help.
> I am so glad she has such a caring 'Listening Ear' in you


 
if person is depressed or close to it, I would talk to pastor _without_ her permission. Depression is a very serious ilness and she may or may not realise how bad it is and will not give you permission to talk to anybody. Clergy is trained to a degree of course to deal with family problem. Do explain to him that you talked to him without her permision and that he shoould be very , mmm what's the word?, mmm darn, it's on a tip of my toungue and I can't say it. Not polite, not careful, grrr, help me out somebody, please. You know what I mean, darn what is it word? ..............


----------



## mudbug

diplomatic?  discreet?


----------



## csalt

Obviously we all have a different 'take' on this but from my point of view it would be wrong to do this without asking her first. If a friend of *mine* did that I would feel very betrayed.
SB is being a really staunch friend as it is .


----------



## StirBlue

CharlieD:  Thanks.  One of the reasons that I am worried about her is that her mother was a horribly mean nasty and abusive person and got worse over the years.  Anybody in their normal right mind would be kicking up their heels in joy to see her moving to the nursing home.  But this lady is sort of bringing up all sorts of little concerns and maybe that was just the way things were for a long time, check in every move you make and have it judged. I take it that they have a leaky gas cooking stove and refuse to replace it.  They have turned off the oven but still use the burners.  She calls her mother to tell her that the house was gassy smelling and she turned off the outside valve to the stove.  (???)  
   Maybe the mother will get preoccupied at the nursing home.  But she may try ruling two thrones simultaneously.  
   It is a church night and I will talk with her again.  Tomorrow, Thursday, is when her mother will be moved to the nursing home.  

On your advice, I will keep the pastor's number handy and add some ER numbers for her home town as well.


----------



## luvs

StirBlue said:
			
		

> I hope that Alpo is not on the dog food recall list. But then I am sure that you checked it. Of course you may not even have a recall list!
> 
> If someone is calling about his no show then he must have been a valued employee. His new job may offer him more financial comfort and some room to advance. Maybe he can enroll at the community college to take a class or workshop that would give him a career of choice. He would also be getting a counselor to help him make these tough decisions. Just a class in computers might make him feel worthy enough to launch a motive for a better and more stable career. If he has to humble himself and apologize to his former employer and ask for a job, it would not be the end of the world but he does have to consider his job references. Trying to better yourself should bring about good things. Your concern for him is very genuine and I respect your concern.


 
they liked him at work.
jake is 30. he's attended college. 'cept we're minutes away from an excellent university that, if he worked security, he'd attend without $$$$$ & further his learning. 
his rash descisions just get me to that point where i want to yell.
i'm thankful that you respect my concern.
thanks.
psssst.... we flipped 'bout those recalls, we've 2 felines we love dearly. canned food & treats, well..... trashcans- they can be lovely items.


----------



## lulu

My DH is tense, which is making me tense.  Well, we are bith tense for the same reason.  He is meant to find out today whether his Monday interview was succesful.  He doubts he's going to be called: the two people who interviewed him are away today (same company different office, so he's seen on the intranet).  Our life decisions depend on knowing the outcome of this, as does what I pack this weekend for a drive to UK.  *sigh*  we just wanna know.....


----------



## redkitty

I hate waiting to LuLu, hope you hear something soon!!


----------



## csalt

May today bring you the news you would like to hear.

Hope you'll let us know?


----------



## lulu

Csalt, you'll here me shrieking from where you are, RK will too.....My guess is even West Coast Americans will!


----------



## csalt

I'll be listening!!


----------



## csalt

I'll be listening


----------



## lulu

For csalt:

http://www.discusscooking.com/forums/f26/hurrah-34764.html

did you hear me? LOL


----------



## csalt

[URL=http://imageshack.us]






[/URL]

Yes!!


----------



## StirBlue

*lulu:  Cheers to a happy ending......And a beautiful beginning!*


----------



## luvs

'twas referred to as 'ma'am'. i'm far from mam-ism. i'm 26 & own a very non- ma'am voice. he got an ear-beatin. ma'am, like to shout at him.
i'm a 'miss' thank you.


----------



## pdswife

LOL.. luvs.  I know just how you fell.  I hate being a ma'am and I'm OLD!


----------



## luvs

tee-hee, ma'am is an OLD lady reference. & you're not old!
luv ya, miss.


----------



## Michelemarie

Luvs, I hate the ma'am thing too. Was the person from  Texas? The reason why I ask is that my husband is from San Antonio and when his PARENTS come to visit they ma'am and sir everyone to death.  I mean, in a restaurant, they will talk to a waitress, 30 years their younger: What would you like to drink? Tea ma'am. Iced Tea? Yes ma'am. What you would you like to drink? We'll ma'am, I think I would like the  fried chicken ma'am - then we go through soup or salad and salad dressing and potato by the time they are done ordering we are up to 20 ma'ams! It drives me bonkers ! I have tried to tell my husband and his mom that not everyone (especially if you are NOT from TX) likes to be  called ma'am - it's like talking to a wall - whatever. I feel your frustration - from one ma'am to another!


----------



## Brooksy

MicheleMarie & Luvs,

As a bloke, I feel we are caught in the old Catch 22. Ya Ma'am'd if you do and yer ma'am'd if yer don't. 

Here in Oz I use Ma'am out of repect for a lady (regardless of age)I do not know. Why?

Well, if I use Miss, she'll say "I'm a Mrs or Ms." So I just use Ma'am to save time, up until I am advised of what she would prefer to be called.

So, until they call you something disgusting, relax and feel chuffed that people are respecting you. After the first Ma'am you can say, "Please, call me Luv's. " 

But I get concerned if anyone calls me Mister or Ian, because those are what I was called if I was in trouble..........

In Oz we use Maaaaaaaaaaate. "This is my mate mate, mate." Everybody is named Mate. It helps when you're p*ssed, you don't have to remember names. lol


----------



## Michelemarie

Thanks for the nice explanation Brooksy. I guess in the restaurant case, they are not addressing anyone - if someone asks if you want this or that my response would be "yes please" instead of "yes ma'am" or miss or mrs. or anything like that. They just overkill on ma'am and it gets annoying and embarrassing. In one order ma'am is said 5-7 times - per person! I do know what you are saying about being addressed as ma'am in the sense of someone not knowing who or what I am, like "ma'am, you forgot your receipt" - that totally doesn't bother me.  Thanks Brooksy - er, Mate! I love that!


----------



## luvs

i concur, thanks.


----------



## texasgirl

Michelemarie said:
			
		

> Luvs, I hate the ma'am thing too. Was the person from Texas? The reason why I ask is that my husband is from San Antonio and when his PARENTS come to visit they ma'am and sir everyone to death. I mean, in a restaurant, they will talk to a waitress, 30 years their younger: What would you like to drink? Tea ma'am. Iced Tea? Yes ma'am. What you would you like to drink? We'll ma'am, I think I would like the fried chicken ma'am - then we go through soup or salad and salad dressing and potato by the time they are done ordering we are up to 20 ma'ams! It drives me bonkers ! I have tried to tell my husband and his mom that not everyone (especially if you are NOT from TX) likes to be called ma'am - it's like talking to a wall - whatever. I feel your frustration - from one ma'am to another!


 
This is only the 3rd time that I have felt seriously offended!!!  Because she said ma'am, she was from Texas. She probably was and good for her!!!!!
For anyone's information. We TEXANS are taught to say sir and ma'am as a sign of respect no matter the persons age! If you have a problem with that, I suggest staying out of Texas. So sorry that we seem to have a problem with respect and being overly nice
I do believe that this will be my last post on DC. I just can't believe that some you of all people, would be so hurtful as this.


----------



## Katie H

texasgirl, I have to jump in, too.  Here in my part of the south, addressing a female as "ma'am" is expected as a matter of respect no matter what age.

I was taught as a child to ALWAYS say "yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am" to whomever I was talking to.  I do it to this day.


----------



## licia

No harm was meant by the person saying "Ma'am" or "Sir". I certainly don't understand why one would feel offended by that. All service people walk a very fine line on what to say to their customers without someone being offended, unnecessrily. I don't like to hear someone refer to us as "you guys", but understand that is said in some places with no ill intent. Some things we just need to grow up and get over. There are much bigger things to be concerned about in this world.


----------



## lulu

I actually LIKE the respect shown to people in the Southern states. I wish it were more universal!  

Ma'am, coming from Madame, is a sign of respect.  Its not age related, ntil recently when we got so youth obcessed, I remember my ister at just over 20 in France craving to command the word Madame instead of mademoiselle.

I'm really casual about it, and would take the advice to say, "Oh please call me.....".  That said, I use Sir and Madam in UK.  I have found it an insecurity in men who feel me using the term "Sir"is somewhat fuedal.  I don't find it so at all, its easy to remember and can offer respect, or, indeed, a sincere lack of it   I am comfortable calling people Sir and Madam, am called Miss, Madam and the world alternatives, all are fine by me.  I never correct when people call me Mrs and my surname, to demand my Italian right to Dotteressa, it doesn't change anything about the coffee they are bringing me!  Texasgirl please don't be too upset or stop posting.


----------



## redkitty

TexasGirl, please don't stop posting!!!!


----------



## csalt

redkitty said:
			
		

> TexasGirl, please don't stop posting!!!!


 
I heartily endorse Red Kitty's sentiment. I truly believe the hurt was unintended.  Please stay.


----------



## Michelemarie

I apologize to anyone I offended, that was not my intent.  I simply stated my experience.  Texasgirl and anyone else from Texas, I am sorry I offended you - that certainly was not my intent.  TG especially, you know me well enough to know that I would never intentionally hurt you-I thought we were better  friends than that.

Let me clarify something - my original post stated that my husband and parents are from San Antonio, they say ma'am because that was the way they were raised-no problem there. My original post indicated that what drives me bonkers is when they ma'am someone to death - In a one minute conversation ma'am can  be said over 10 times - overkill - - it sounds fake - not genuine - almost robotic. 

My second post stated that I was not offended by being called ma'am. In summary, it personally bugs me when someone repeatedly says "ma'am" after EVERY sentence in a conversation - respect or not, it is just down right annoying - and from the looks of our restaurant servers, I am not the only one who feels that way.

I hope this clarifies things. Please accept my sincerest apologies.


----------



## texasgirl

Said my peace, brushing it off. I sometimes get a little ticked. Wording is everything sometimes. I have done it myself and realized to late. I just have to learn to let it go. Sorry for the drama, just got caught up in the anger that wasn't needed.


----------



## csalt

Oh. you mean you acted like a normal human being? Good! that makes me feel better


----------



## Michelemarie

TG, again, my sincerest apologies-the last thing I would ever want to do it offend or hurt you or anyone on this forum. The problem with the computer is we cannot see facial expressions or hear a person's tone of voice or see body language.  Again, I'm sorry.


----------



## jpmcgrew

Texasgirl,I am with you I say ma'mm and sir all the time it's just a respectful way to address someone.If Im on Amtrak or any where I use these wether its the porter on the sleeper car or a waitress or my boss or anybody else I hafto address that is older than me.I get called ma'mm alot makes me not too happy as it reminds I also am getting older but Im fine with it.
When ever you meet a kid in the military it's always ma'mm or sir anywhere they are, the military teaches them to be this way(respectful)


----------



## luvs

shouldn't of brought that to a point. my sorry. ma'am isn't a common pennsylvanian term, where we live.- kinda unheard of. so i was shocked. stay with us! hugs, glad you brushed your anger away, 
-luvs


----------



## pdswife

venting LOUDLY!!!
I had a dentist appointment today. Ya'll know how I HATE going to the dentist.  This was to get a cavity filled in a wisdom tooth.  They have to remove part of the gum since said tooth never popped all the way out.  Well, I drove the 45 minutes there...waited the regular 20 minutes in the waiting room sat down in the chair and then...THEY DECIDED that they had schedualed my appointment with the hygentist NOT the dentist!!!!  The dentist was booked solid for the whole day.   Now I have to go back again.  Maybe, I shouldn't be mad... but I am.


----------



## Katie H

Well, crap and a half, you should be angry.  I certainly would be.  Driving 45 minutes one way isn't cheap given how much gas costs these days.  Plus, your time is worth something.  Somebody dropped the ball and, sadly, you are the one who paid the price.

I'd call ahead next time to be sure they have their heads on straight.

In the words of Qsis, "That just vacuums!"


----------



## callie

pdswife said:
			
		

> venting LOUDLY!!!
> I had a dentist appointment today. Ya'll know how I HATE going to the dentist. This was to get a cavity filled in a wisdom tooth. They have to remove part of the gum since said tooth never popped all the way out. Well, I drove the 45 minutes there...waited the regular 20 minutes in the waiting room sat down in the chair and then...THEY DECIDED that they had schedualed my appointment with the hygentist NOT the dentist!!!! The dentist was booked solid for the whole day. Now I have to go back again. Maybe, I shouldn't be mad... but I am.


 
yeah, and if you just don't show up for your appointment...how much do YOU have to pay??  so sorry pds!


----------



## luvs

i understand your frustration. you'll get through. after that, healthy shiny teeth! yours. luvs!


----------



## pdswife

Thanks!  I'll live and  I feel better now that I've vented!


----------



## Michelemarie

Sorry pdswife - I can imagine your frustration.  Sit back tonight, put your feet up, and remember that tomorrow is a brand new day!


----------



## urmaniac13

Oh dear me... as someone who entirely share your sentiment about dentists, I can really feel your chagrin!!  Since this is THEIR fault you should make THEM pay for all the valium you have to take while sitting around and brooding over the postponed appointment!!


----------



## licia

Speaking of dentists, I had oral surgery last week - removal of two teeth I'd had crowned 2 years ago at a cost of $1400 each. Now I had to have them extracted.  I was given Darvocet for pain and I must be allergic to it. It has taken almost a week for me to be able to feel like I'm walking straight. I couldn't drive anywhere last week and couldn't stand up without feeling I was going to topple. I'll never take that stuff again.


----------



## pdswife

Licia.. that just sucks!  I'm so sorry!


----------



## CharlieD

luvs said:
			
		

> 'twas referred to as 'ma'am'. i'm far from mam-ism. i'm 26 & own a very non- ma'am voice. he got an ear-beatin. ma'am, like to shout at him.
> i'm a 'miss' thank you.


 

Ok, I'm going to went about this. Luvs, start typing in English, not in AIM lenguage. Half of the time I have no idea what you are talking about.


----------



## texasgirl

Most of you know the he## I went through with my oldest son. Well, thanks to him, my mother's day was just CRAP!!!
When he came back home, my one stipulation was that he would not be staying at his friends house every weekend drinking and and not saving his money. Of course that is what he has started doing again. I have always griped at him and threatened and not really done anything. I have tried to be understanding of him go through his "growing up" stage. Well, I told him last week that I didn't want staying at his friends last night because I wanted him here to go with me to my mother's resting place and take my Mammaw to lunch, as we do EVERY year. Saturday, he called me and said, word for word, " I'm going to ##'s house, you can pick me up in the morning to go" I told him no and he kept asking why. I was at work and told him that I had to go, but, he better not stay over there. I got home from work and he STAYED AT HIS FRIENDS HOUSE ANYWAY!!! I was so angry!! He called and I told him that I would not come get him this morning and told him that he chose his friends over me and to deal with his choice. I cried all night!! I cried this morning while I was alone and getting ready. He called and said happy mother's day, I told him thank you. I also told him as I cried again, dang it, I tried not to, but, I told him that he broke my stipulation and that all he cares about is hanging out with his friends and that I was tired of it and I couldn't do it anymore. I told him to find somewhere else to live. By the time I hung up, he voice was low and quivering and he said happy mother's day again and he loves me. My day was really bad all day. My youngest went with me though, so, that really helped. They went in half on a tennis bracelet for me too. I didn't know until after talking to him and I haven't told him thank you. I talked to him again when I got home and was going to go get him and bring him home. He told me that I told him to leave now, so, he wasn't coming home, I hung up on him! I did not take 2 calls that he made to me, but, he left a message both times and said he loved me and he didn't understand what was going on that he had been upset all day. HE HAS????
What is sad, he doesn't understand why I'm so upset. Please, tell me the truth, am I wrong in feeling this way? I'm I being selfish and not giving him a chance? Most you know how he has been before, so, you know this is not the first thing that I have felt uncared for by my first born.


----------



## kadesma

_Texas,_
_I'm sorry your Mothers day was a mess. Your son is a young man now not a kid..He  has to learn what you say you mean. It's your house, he is allowed to live there as your son. Your rules are your rules, he obeys them, or else..You can't let him run over you time after time. He has to lear to be responsible and if it means some hard knocks, then it's hard knocks.Yes, it will hurt you and make you want to say oh that's alright..NOPE MOM you stick to your guns..He has to stand on his own,where will he be when you can't  take care of him like this anymore. When YOU need help, will he be grown up enough to pitch in for you? Stick to your guns TG, he will be a better man for it and you will be able to rest easier knowing he can care for himself. Love him yep, to the very end..Love does not mean we are doormats, Love, means sometimes being a hardnose,, I know how hard this can be, believe me I do..But, I stood my ground and now I have 4 wonderful,responsible, loving adults I love and am proud of...You will too TG._

_kadesma_


----------



## Katie H

kadesma said:
			
		

> _Texas,_
> _I'm sorry your Mothers day was a mess. Your son is a young man now not a kid..He  has to learn what you say you mean. It's your house, he is allowed to live there as your son. Your rules are your rules, he obeys them, or else..You can't let him run over you time after time. He has to lear to be responsible and if it means some hard knocks, then it's hard knocks.Yes, it will hurt you and make you want to say oh that's alright..NOPE MOM you stick to your guns..He has to stand on his own,where will he be when you can't  take care of him like this anymore. When YOU need help, will he be grown up enough to pitch in for you? Stick to your guns TG, he will be a better man for it and you will be able to rest easier knowing he can care for himself. Love him yep, to the very end..Love does not mean we are doormats, Love, means sometimes being a hardnose,, I know how hard this can be, believe me I do..But, I stood my ground and now I have 4 wonderful,responsible, loving adults I love and am proud of...You will too TG._
> 
> _kadesma_



Ditto what kades said.  I understand being a parent is difficult, but it still involves standing your ground and loving our children at the same time.

I can still hear the "It hurts me more than it hurts you." mantra, but it's true.

Hang in there, sometime, maybe many years down the road, you will be recognized and thanked for your stand.

Been there.  Done that.  With 8 children.,


----------



## pdswife

TG... hugs... you need them.

Keep strong.


----------



## Brooksy

Texasgirl,
Although you are not my Mom, Happy Mothers' Day.

Males generally are self-centred and ignorant of the needs of others. Believe me, as a male I know what I'm talking about. Your son at the moment is going through another stage of his development and believe me he has failed.

I did pretty much what you son has done when I was in my late teens which ended up with me being tossed out of the family home. At the time I didn't see what the problem was, drinking beer with my mates, etc, but as a parent all came clear. Everything revolved around me, I had to prove myself better than my peers, at all times and challenges. Unfortunately this behaviour has left scars that will never heal.

With our sons I make sure that they understand why their mother asks favours of them, and why these requests should be carried out without question or delay.

Please try to sit your son down and talk to him directly, look straight into his eyes and make sure he knows how much hurt he has caused you, without saying it.

The only thing that I can see now is that you must give him the boot. He values his friends more than you so he can go and live with them. He must also do his own washing, cleaning, cooking etc etc.

We have one still nest bound, by his choice not mine, and he is careful to do all his mother asks, without question or grumble, that's the way it has to be, because if he doesn't his clothes will be in the driveway, no fuss, no arguments......

Respectfully, a big hug from Australia mate.

Thoughts with you mate, and a prayer for your son that he sees the error of his ways.


----------



## licia

Kadesma gave you some very good advice - I agree totally. I'm sorry this all happened on a day that should have been a good one for you. You did the right thing and sometimes that really hurts and makes us screwyheaded wondering if it WAS the right thing. It hurts us as much as anyone who is going thru the learning process. Like Kadesma said, we've been there and survived - you can too. Remember "tough love".


----------



## SizzlininIN

I'm so sorry Tex that the day didn't turn out how you had wanted it to. Kads advice is right on. Take a deep breath and pat yourself on the back for standing up for yourself and your wishes girl.....this stipulation is not unreasonable and he needs to grow up and understand it, among other things. (((((((HUGS)))))))))


----------



## Michelemarie

TG, I'm sorry your day did not turn out they way you wanted it to. You were  blessed to be with one of your sons, though, right?  Kadesma is right - you did the right thing. Sometimes doing the right thing isn't the easiest thing to do - that is what separates good parents from bad parents. Remember this, you are helping him-as hard as it is for you right now. One day he will understand. There is no doubt in my mind that he loves you very much - you are a good, no, great mom!  Today is a new day-hugs girlfriend.


----------



## csalt

[URL=http://imageshack.us]






[/URL]

*TG  I am so very sorry for your heartache.  Both Brooksie and Kadesma are absolutely right but I know that doesn't change the situation or take the pain away.Sometimes our children , who are young adults, make the wrong choices in spite of out guidance You must try to remember that everything you have done and said you have done with profound love, you have NOTHING to blame yourself for. Try to hang in there and come back here when you feel you have no-one to talk to.*
*We cannot change things for you but we do genuinely care. *


----------



## Alix

Oh Texasgirl, I'm so sorry you had such heartache to deal with. That would be hard on any day, but doubly hard on Mothers Day. You are not wrong to put boundaries in place, its important. Read what Brooksy said, he is spot on about young men. Just because your son acted like a doofus doesn't mean he doesn't love you to bits. He DOES. He is just at the most selfish point in his life right now and the world revolves around him and his needs/wants. He will grow up. Happens to all of us eventually, some just take longer than others. Just hang in there, and wait for that moment when life gives him the old "hockey stick between the eyes" wake up call. HUGS!


----------



## texasgirl

Thank you to all of you!! I'm still hurt over it, but, we'll see how he plays his next hand tonight. I love my boys so much and I just hate being that way, but, enough is enough. I'M the one that has caught him every time he fell, not the idiot friends!! I will be okay though. He will come around if I have to put a foot in his rear end to get him there.


----------



## Dina

Txgirl,
I'm sorry to hear about the pain you're going through.  Stay firm with your son.  It takes persistance with our kids to get them to understand but as long as we don't give up on them, we can prevail.  He will come around, you'll see.  Faith, love and patience will bring your son back to you.  Hang in there.  I'm keeping you and your son in my prayers.  Hugs,


----------



## CharlieD

Is there shoulder I can cry into?

After going thru almost 8 month of physical therapy, for my arm, I was feeling great, but 2 weeks ago, playing with one of my daughters she pooled my arm and now, for the last 2 weeks I am in tremendous amount of pain around my elbow. As if this wasn’t enough, my gout kick in and last 4-5 days I’m suffering from gout, well if this was not enough this morning I woke up and my right foot big toe hurts. Not sure if it is infection or ingrown nail. BTW, how do you know what it is? How does one find out what to do without going to doctor?
So my whole right side is one big pain now. I’m just really mad about all this. It sucks getting old. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


----------



## Barb L.

So sorry Charlie for the the pain your having, when I have a sore toe I put Neosporin on it , then a bandaid.  Usually helps me - may have to continue this until its better.  Good luck, and hope you feel better soon.             Barb


----------



## CharlieD

thanks Barb, I'll try


----------



## texasgirl

OUCH, Charlie!! Hope you get to feeling good again really soon!!


----------



## pdswife

Ouch!  Hope you feel better soon!


----------



## YT2095

CharlieD said:
			
		

> As if this wasn’t enough, my gout kick in and last 4-5 days I’m suffering from gout, well if this was not enough this morning I woke up and my right foot big toe hurts.



are you sure it doesn`t hurt BECAUSE of the gout?
this is the same place I have mine also, and during a flare up, I cannot even have a bed sheet on my foot.
I expect you`re already taking allopurinol daily, but do you have any strong NSAIDs to take?
if you don`t, get some from your Doc, Piroxicam (Feldene) is good!


you have my sympathies though, I DO know what it`s like


----------



## JoAnn L.

CharlieD said:
			
		

> Is there shoulder I can cry into?
> 
> After going thru almost 8 month of physical therapy, for my arm, I was feeling great, but 2 weeks ago, playing with one of my daughters she pooled my arm and now, for the last 2 weeks I am in tremendous amount of pain around my elbow. As if this wasn’t enough, my gout kick in and last 4-5 days I’m suffering from gout, well if this was not enough this morning I woke up and my right foot big toe hurts. Not sure if it is infection or ingrown nail. BTW, how do you know what it is? How does one find out what to do without going to doctor?
> So my whole right side is one big pain now. I’m just really mad about all this. It sucks getting old. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


 
You have my sympathy. With me it is my shoulder, it was doing real good until I bumped into the corner of the wall the other day,( I am doing that all the time ) I am so clumsy. My daughter was over the other day and I was telling her about it, when I walked out of the room she said, mom, you just did it again.  My mother had gout, so I know how you are suffering. She had it in her feet , so many times she would have to crawl on her knees, it hurt so bad. I hope and pray that you find some comfort from your pain. JoAnn.


----------



## texasgirl

Well, my youngest stayed home today for his 20th birthday and just called to let me know that my oldest just came and got all of his stuff 
I'm so sick. Maybe I should have just given in again and picked him up!  I don't know how my mom survived 4 girls. I wish him the best and hope that he made the right decision. I want that day back so badly. It could all be different right now if I had gone and picked him up. I know he has to grow though. He has counted on me all his life to help him. I will continue to do so, with discretion.


----------



## Alix

texasgirl, is that a hint of guilt and self blame I hear in your words? Don't you go there. You know what you need to do. You drew a line and you're standing by it, good for you! He will always love you and now will respect you more for creating a boundary. It hurts now, and I wish I could hug you to make you feel better, but it will in the long run be a good thing. Hang on girl! Good thoughts and warm hugs coming your way.


----------



## JoAnn L.

texasgirl said:
			
		

> Well, my youngest stayed home today for his 20th birthday and just called to let me know that my oldest just came and got all of his stuff
> I'm so sick. Maybe I should have just given in again and picked him up! I don't know how my mom survived 4 girls. I wish him the best and hope that he made the right decision. I want that day back so badly. It could all be different right now if I had gone and picked him up. I know he has to grow though. He has counted on me all his life to help him. I will continue to do so, with discretion.


 
My heart goes out to you. As a mom, we have all been there. I agree with Alix. You hang in there. Lots of love and hugs to you.


----------



## texasgirl

How do you do it?? I'm scared to death for him. Everything that has already happened to him and he is hanging out with those low lifes again. I just don't understand!!


----------



## Alix

You just have to grit your teeth and let go texasgirl. Its the curse of being a parent that you will feel every bump and bruise for the rest of his life. The blessing is that he will recognize your love and sacrifice a little further down the road. 

You just keep right on talking to us all, we are here to support you sweetie.


----------



## pdswife

Tg... do not blame yourself.  He's an adult. Young yes but still able to make up his own mind.  He's being a brat!  Sorry but he is.  Let him.  Don't rush out to save him.  He needs to learn the hard way.

I know it is hard!!!  I do! 
But, you've done your part.  Now it's time for him to grow up and do his.

Love him yes.
Save him.. no.

smiles, T


----------



## csalt

texasgirl said:
			
		

> Well, my youngest stayed home today for his 20th birthday and just called to let me know that my oldest just came and got all of his stuff
> I'm so sick. Maybe I should have just given in again and picked him up! I don't know how my mom survived 4 girls. I wish him the best and hope that he made the right decision. I want that day back so badly. It could all be different right now if I had gone and picked him up. I know he has to grow though. He has counted on me all his life to help him. I will continue to do so, with discretion.


Having been in that same position, my heart grieves for you TG. Try to stay strong.Nothing can take away the deep hurt you feel. It sounds though as if your younger son is offering you a shoulder to lean on? When you are hurt so much it's hard not to give way to manipulation; removing all his stuff is a form of manipulation but try to hang in there and not let him dictate the way forward. Let them both know how much you love them but hold to what you have said. You are in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## JoAnn L.

texasgirl said:
			
		

> How do you do it?? I'm scared to death for him. Everything that has already happened to him and he is hanging out with those low lifes again. I just don't understand!!


 
When one of my sons was a junior in high school he wanted to quit. We could not talk him out of it. So finally I said fine, go ahead and quit. I told him everyone makes mistakes and this was one of his. Well, thank God almost 2 years later he went back and graduated. He had to work it out for himself. It took time and all we could do was wait. All you can do is love them. ((Hugs))


----------



## mudbug

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.............

I have to work tomorrow, and maybe Monday too.  Deadline on Tuesday that I wasn't expecting.  I'm too deep into this project to pass it off to someone on the West Coast to work on this aft.   Take too long to 'splain all the requirements, etc.


grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr............


----------



## Buck

Well muddie,
While Katie and I are out on the front porch watching the squirrels and sipping our vodka gimlets we'll observe a moment of respect for your exemplary work ethic.

Feel better?

Love, Buck


----------



## mudbug

sniff, sniff.
a little, Buck, thanks.
I'm gonna finish this glass of wine and sit my butt in front of the tv to watch the tape of the Lost finale and go to bed early feeling very sorry for myself.

Daughter has strict orders to finish her mountain of laundry from last week and help her father get ready for the BBQ on Sunday.


----------



## StirBlue

mudbug:  I think someone on the West Coast is toasting Buck with a vodka gimlet.


----------



## mudbug

they don't know how lucky they are out there, Stir!  they better drink up, and have a toast to me.


----------



## texasgirl

I'm with you mud! I work tomorrow and Monday. At least it's an early day at 1 on Monday. DH and both sons are all off that day. Wonder if they will come help me?? WHATEVER!!


----------



## StirBlue

I don't put anybody's whim's on my clock.  But I am flexible.  If everybody wants to take a nap and I want to go on a picnic, I just pack up and go with a good book or a magazine.  If they are still sleeping when I get back after a hour or two, I just sink in the tub.  Sometimes there is still time left to watch a movie.  

A woman can get a lot of fashion shopping done during football season!


----------



## Barb L.

StirBlue said:
			
		

> I don't put anybody's whim's on my clock.  But I am flexible.  If everybody wants to take a nap and I want to go on a picnic, I just pack up and go with a good book or a magazine.  If they are still sleeping when I get back after a hour or two, I just sink in the tub.  Sometimes there is still time left to watch a movie.
> 
> A woman can get a lot of fashion shopping done during football season!



Amen !  The only way to be !!


----------



## Jikoni

Been a hard couple of weeks, but today's just the 'It'. One of the boy's in my daughter's class lost his life to Brain cancer. He died last night. I always have death premonitions(as hard as that is for anyone to understand, but it's true) but never know who, but whenever I do, I call my mum and have a little call just to check...just in case.  So from last night ,a 10 years' old little boy has lost his dad and so has his 5 years old sister and their mum has lost her DH. So sad. On top of that, my DD's best friend fell and broke her collar bone today in the playground. Had a lot of 'trying to explain life' to my kids and I just ended up in tears which I am not sure helped much. anyhow, I explained why I was upset and continued to explain the mystery of life as best as I can figure it out. I am even more upset that I will be going away to Kenya this Friday the !st June and cannot be there to support everyone. Well at least I got it off my chest.


----------



## Half Baked

{{{{ Jikoni }}}}

It's so difficult to explain life to the small ones.  In fact, it's difficult for adults to understand, in many situations.  

I'm sure you said everything right and the children will grasp it to the best of their age.  It is too bad that you are leaving town on Friday but by then the kids will probably be fine.


----------



## buckytom

darn, i was gonna beef about some looney who climbed up the george washington bridge this morning, causing it to shut down which made my commute over 2 hours. 

but, in light of jikoni's post, it's trivial.

i'm sorry to hear of your woes, jikoni. i hope this all passes quickly for you and your family, and brighter days are ahead.

umm, btw, if you ever dream of me dying, could you pm me asap? i've got a lot of people to thank and tell them i love them.


----------



## babyhuggies

hi everyone! i've been gone off and on now for a little while,lots has been going on.First i have become a moderator on a canadian freebie site(hats off to all you mods) Finding that can be a challenge-don't always have the time to go on then i feel guilty because i said i would to this...brings me to my "real" job-being a mom..Having so many development issues come up with my 4 year old,starting to feel so overwhelmed and at times (most of the time). I have taken him for some preliminary testing now i have to get in to see a few other doctors..long process.
and if that wasn't enough our dog Norm had to be put down this past weekend due to a tumor in his spleen rupturing and causing bleeding into his stomach  he was only 6...and through it all my bf has been out of town working.


----------



## Katie H

Well, bh, you certainly have had a lot on your plate.  Sounds as though you could use a nice relaxing bubble bath, but it probably isn't in the picture right now in your world.

Just try to take care of yourself and be as patient and relaxed as you can.  Count to 10 often and take deep  breaths.  Then, when your bf comes home, take that bubble bath.


----------



## VickiQ

buckytom said:
			
		

> darn, i was gonna beef about some looney who climbed up the george washington bridge this morning, causing it to shut down which made my commute over 2 hours.
> 
> but, in light of jikoni's post, it's trivial.
> 
> i'm sorry to hear of your woes, jikoni. i hope this all passes quickly for you and your family, and brighter days are ahead.
> 
> umm, btw, if you ever dream of me dying, could you pm me asap? i've got a lot of people to thank and tell them i love them.


 
((Bucky))) don't ever wait to  thank someone or tell them you love them- you never know WHO tomorrow may bring and WHO today may leave with-hope you catch my drift.
Love and energy, Vicki


----------



## Alix

Jikoni, I'm so sorry to hear your news. How very sad for everyone. Virtual hug flying to you and some virtual kleenex too.

babyhuggies, hang in there girl. Let the folks at your other board know that you are going through some personal stuff and I'm sure they will be happy to help cover your duties. Thats how things work here. Real life is ALWAYS more important than the internet. Good luck with your little one, and try not to worry too much or let any "label" change things for you in a negative way. And I'm so so sorry about your puppy. I know how that feels when you lose them too young. It hurts a LOT.


----------



## SizzlininIN

I am so sorry to hear that jikoni...... my heart goes out to you and the others ((((HUGS))))


----------



## CharlieD

I hate cable companies. Comcast called me, telling that they are switching everybody to digital voice, whatever that might be. Ok, fine do it. After they came and change everything I do not have food network. It really is stupid, because this is the only chanel I like to watch. I, guess, they changed some kind of packaging, darn. So no to get food network I'd have to pay 3 times more. Darn.


----------



## Half Baked

What is the etiquette for returning wedding gifts if the bride and groom break up?

Is there a time limit?

This bride and groom lasted 1 month and 2 days.

edited:  I'm not waiting for a gift to be returned.  I may have to help them send all the presents back.  I just really believe that the effort should be made.  Does anyone else have a view on this?


----------



## pdswife

I think they should be returned... 

It's sad....


----------



## Katie H

Heck, yes, they should be returned.


----------



## Half Baked

This surprised the heck out of me and I really disagree! I was checking it out on the internet. I bet the couple doesn't give it a thought but hopefully they'll surprise me.  

en.allexperts.com/q/*Divorce*-Issues-1626/*Returning*-*wedding*-g*if*ts-Marriage.htm - 19k -



> *Question*
> 
> My Co worker and her husband seperated after 10 months. We wanted to know if the Wedding gifts should be returned? Is there a time limit on how long a marriage must last? She said her marriage really started going sour 3 months after the wedding but she hung in there. Her husband has taken all the wedding gifts some were never used and still in boxes. We think they should be returned. Especially the ones that were given to her at our office bridal shower. We didn't know the groom and most gifts were addressed to her. Before the divorce goes thru we'd appreciate an answer. Thank you
> 
> 
> *Answer*
> 
> It's custom to keep the wedding gifts that were given to the couple. The only way they should be returned is if the marriage doesn't happen,and is called off. Then it would be etiquette to return the gifts.


----------



## Katie H

It may seem surprising,  but I still say they should be returned.  It's almost as though he/she is being rewarded (perhaps not the right word, but what I could think of at the moment) for throwing a big party and living together for a few weeks.

This might be a question best posed to Emily Post or Miss Manners.  I have a Miss Manners book.  I'll look through it and see if this issue is addressed.


----------



## Michelemarie

How sad is that? I bet after that, though, the gifts are the last thing on that couple's mind. So sad.


----------



## buckytom

since my wife's remaining family is in slovakia, we eloped, and never got any wedding gifts.

so you should send them to us...


----------



## Half Baked

CharlieD said:
			
		

> I hate cable companies. Comcast called me, telling that they are switching everybody to digital voice, whatever that might be. Ok, fine do it. After they came and change everything I do not have food network. It really is stupid, because this is the only chanel I like to watch. I, guess, they changed some kind of packaging, darn. So no to get food network I'd have to pay 3 times more. Darn.


 
Can you change back?

Mr HB's son asked me to sit at his house and wait for Comcast yesterday (do you hear the foreboding music?). They were to be there between 11am-2pm. Being the responsible person I am, I was there at 10:30.

-OK, at 1:15 pm Comcast called and said they were running late and would be there between 1:30 and 3:30. 
-At 4pm, I call the boy (lol, 33) and ask him to find out what's going on. He was horrified that I was still there. He called and they said the technician was on his way to the house.
- At 6pm, I call the boy and say I'm going home.
-He calls me when I get home and says he called Comcast and *the technician said he was there and did his work*. No, this wasn't something that he could have fixed through the outdoor box. In fact, they insisted that someone be there since they HAD to get inside.


----------



## LEFSElover

Just off the phone with a dear friend who told me of the Ma'am thread.  I did not know a venting forum existed or I would have been posting solely here. 

The Ma'am verbiage is understood probably by where you were raised.  Being raised in Santa Monica all my life, {California} I didn't know of the Ma'am thing [only that to me and as I was raised to understand] it was used out of respect.  Nothing about age at all.  You said it due to the respect for the person you were speaking to.  So in my useage of it, it's been to young lady's and not so young lady's, either way, < they're _*lady's*_.  That's my take on it.

Over the years, it's been taught to me that some feel it has to do with age.  I'll stick to my useage, due respect. 

My vent is over nothing, today, it's a good day.  Peaceful days to all of you and quiet nights too...​


----------



## luvs

noise. noise agitates me till i want to....... ughhhhhhh!


----------



## VickiQ

I have just one word to say
****SCREAM****
With that I wish you all love and energy,
Vicki
things have been a little rough-sorry


----------



## Alix

You Ok Vicky?


----------



## VickiQ

Thank you Alix- I will be fine. There is just alot going on here.Between my son's wedding and my father's 80th surprize party next week and there being so many broken things I just can't fix- there's alot of HIGH emotions among the crowd. Thank you again.Love and energy, Vicki


----------



## Alix

Ah! I understand that perfectly Vicky. When its all done, go sit in your garden and have a nice cup of tea and celebrate all by yourself.


----------



## love2"Q"

dust from sanding will not ruin the finish on your 
cabinets ... ahhh .. that feels better ..


----------



## buckytom

VickiQ said:
			
		

> and my father's 80th surprize party next week


 
geez vicki, you'da thought he'd catch on by the 2nd or 3rd time all of the cars were parked in front of the house.  

but, i guess if you live that long, you deserve 80 parties.  

good luck and congrats on your son's wedding. relax and enjoy it. there'll be lots of love and energy around you from your family, so grab some for yourself.

and love2q, it does if you forget to clean it off before staining or sealing. use an old tooth brush to remove it from corners and little spaces.


----------



## kadesma

_  Arggggh,_
_My DH, since he retired goes to the coffee shop each morning after breakfast and has coffee and a gab fest with some of his cronies..He enjoys it, I enjoy the quiet time so that is fine. BUT,today I left for the grocery shopping early as I had more to do for tomorrow..When I got home, several cars were pulling out of the drive..I carry in the groceries, and my kitchen is upside down and inside out..Seems the fellows were wanting to have a taste of some of the things for tomorrow.Yep a taste, Well they about cleaned out the potatoe salad, Now I'm making more,ate the whole tray of fruit, all the salami cheese, crackers for the coming week for the kids, made coffee, 3 pots, all the baguette sor tomorrow,,,So not only did I have to return to the store, I had to remake the fruit tray, potatoe salad and re-buy things for next week..Then before I could start any of this, I had to re-load the dish washer, turn off the oven, they wanted to make ceese, salami on the baguette..Right now, I'm still at KILL mode..DH, was happy as a clam feeding his buddies, one of the last to leave remarked that DH sure was a fine cook!!!!!!!!  OH yes, the final smack in the face, WE  invited several of the widowers over tomorrow so they wont be alone... _
_Now, guess who just asked whats for dinner?  Think I should tell him? _
_kadesma _


----------



## SurvivorGirl

Gosh I hate the dentist (sorry to any dentists that we have at DC, it's not the person, it's just..ugh!!) !!!
Went there a couple of weeks back and they say that I have a cavity (never had one before) and that I have to go back and get it filled.
I completely freak out when I go there anyway and now they have to numb my mouth and fill a tooth (or whatever they do while they're in there ).
god It makes me shudder just to think about going there 
anyone have any suggestions on what to do to take your mind off where you are? i've heard of bringing in an mp3 or something like that.


----------



## Katie H

Sweetheart, just chill and try to relax.  You might be in only a few minutes.  It all depends on how extensive the filling will be.  You say you haven't had to have a filling before, so chances are your visit will be quite problem free.

Just keep brushing and flossing regularly and you will avoid further filling experiences.


----------



## SurvivorGirl

Katie E said:
			
		

> You say you haven't had to have a filling before, so chances are your visit will be quite problem free.


gosh I hope so!! 
thx!


----------



## Brooksy

kadesma said:
			
		

> _Now, guess who just asked whats for dinner?  Think I should tell him? _
> _kadesma _



Answer: "Whatever you feel like cooking dearest..... I feel like a roast thanks." 

I shouldn't throw stones. I have unfortunately done something like this to DW - the Mistress of getting even.

I only ever did it once mind you.


----------



## kadesma

Brooksy said:
			
		

> Answer: "Whatever you feel like cooking dearest..... I feel like a roast thanks."
> 
> I shouldn't throw stones. I have unfortunately done something like this to DW - the Mistress of getting even.
> 
> I only ever did it once mind you.


Brooksy,
i'm all over my mad, the last of the pot,pans and dishes are in the dish washer and DH is sleeping alive and well  our dinner was a lot different than I'd planned, but we are fed and getting on with the evening..I guess I shouldn't have gotten so miffed, but that was one long day in the kitchen 

kadesma


----------



## Barb L.

Kadesma, you poor thing, you reacted as any other wife would !  I would have been furious , after all the time you spent in preparing everything ahead of time.  I hope you get to relax and enjoy - Father's day too.                Barb


----------



## VickiQ

kadesma said:
			
		

> _ Arggggh,_
> _My DH, since he retired goes to the coffee shop each morning after breakfast and has coffee and a gab fest with some of his cronies..He enjoys it, I enjoy the quiet time so that is fine. BUT,today I left for the grocery shopping early as I had more to do for tomorrow..When I got home, several cars were pulling out of the drive..I carry in the groceries, and my kitchen is upside down and inside out..Seems the fellows were wanting to have a taste of some of the things for tomorrow.Yep a taste, Well they about cleaned out the potatoe salad, Now I'm making more,ate the whole tray of fruit, all the salami cheese, crackers for the coming week for the kids, made coffee, 3 pots, all the baguette sor tomorrow,,,So not only did I have to return to the store, I had to remake the fruit tray, potatoe salad and re-buy things for next week..Then before I could start any of this, I had to re-load the dish washer, turn off the oven, they wanted to make ceese, salami on the baguette..Right now, I'm still at KILL mode..DH, was happy as a clam feeding his buddies, one of the last to leave remarked that DH sure was a fine cook!!!!!!!!  OH yes, the final smack in the face, WE invited several of the widowers over tomorrow so they wont be alone... _
> _Now, guess who just asked whats for dinner? Think I should tell him? _
> _kadesma _


 
Ohhh Kades- i think I would have been serving all that food for his funeral today!!! OUCH! I do hope you get to enjoy yourself today!!!Love and energy, Vicki


----------



## Half Baked

Kadesma - You are a much kinder, gentler and sane person than I am.  I would have hit the ceiling!  Lol, he'd be cleaning the kitchen while I went back to the store.


----------



## Katie H

Whoa, cj, I don't know what I'd have done.  I do think when he asked what was for dinner I would've told him, "CROW."  Glad you weathered the storm and hope you have a very lovely day today.  You earned it.


----------



## kadesma

_Thanks everyone,_
_I was a tad angry..But, everything got finished and we are ready to roll..All's left to do is to toast the baguette slices, put on a small chunk of gorgonzola, melt it then drizzle with some rosemary/lavender honey..I promise to even be nice to our guests _

_kadesma_


----------



## Half Baked

There was no doubt in my mind you'd come out like a SuperSTAR, Kadesma!


----------



## kadesma

_Thanks Jan,_
_there was a time when my temper and youth would have gotten the best of me..Now, I'm trying to just let it all pass me by..To many things to enjoy to be angry at things that can be fixed._

_kadesma _


----------



## Half Baked

kadesma said:
			
		

> _Thanks Jan,_
> _there was a time when my temper and youth would have gotten the best of me..Now, I'm trying to just let it all pass me by.._*Too many things to enjoy to be angry at things that can be fixed.*
> 
> _kadesma _


 
That is a great saying!  I need to remember it.


----------



## LEFSElover

............can't stand when I say something, do something, show up, or just be there and a person looks at me like I have two heads.  I don't understand it, it just ticks me off.  You know the look?  Furrowed brow, frown line overexaggerated, eyebrows going up and down.  I've actually said to the offender, "why are you looking at me like I have 2 heads?  Was what I asked so very odd that you have to make that expression?"  uff da....................


----------



## luvs

my feeding tube. i'm ready to yank that device. since i went to sleep that tube decided to detach & basically spew 3 spews! & i only slept 2 hours. me & my couch were sprayed with feeding tube formula, uck. kept wipes nearby so i cleaned quickly 'nuff, whew.


----------



## luvs

insurance companies.
i'm seriously with chest pain due to them. severe chest pain.
so stressed.
dagnabbit, alcohol seems great now. i neen't a lecture, either- i'm 26 & if i'm thirsty, welp.......


----------



## cjmobxnc

My vent for today is work-related.  My co-worker and I have been after our general manager for almost 3 weeks to get us a proper mop and bucket for cleaning after we break down our breakfast bar in the AM.  Right now we are having to use a swiffer pole and put old cleaning cloths on it.  It is maing both of us feel so tired after we get done for the day.  Our GM keeps saying she will get one, but she hasn't yet.  It's enough to drive someone batty.


----------



## Barb L.

cjmobxnc said:
			
		

> My vent for today is work-related.  My co-worker and I have been after our general manager for almost 3 weeks to get us a proper mop and bucket for cleaning after we break down our breakfast bar in the AM.  Right now we are having to use a swiffer pole and put old cleaning cloths on it.  It is maing both of us feel so tired after we get done for the day.  Our GM keeps saying she will get one, but she hasn't yet.  It's enough to drive someone batty.



That is the pits, I would go buy them and give her the bill !


----------



## cjmobxnc

Barb L. said:
			
		

> That is the pits, I would go buy them and give her the bill !


 
If she doesn't have them there tomorrow, we are and we're going to the owners of the hotel also - come to find out, they aren't too happy with the way she has been doing things.  This is the first time someone other than the owners have had any managerial say in the hotel, and they are beginning to regret letting her have it.  But she's under contract, so they can't do anything about it until November, which is when her contract comes up for renegotiation.


----------



## Alix

Youngest daughter came home with a cold about a week ago and in spite of frequent hand washing, doing doorknobs and light switches with disinfectant taking echinacea and drinking tons of fluid I feel like I'm getting it. DANG IT ALL!


----------



## bethzaring

that's the pits alex, hope you feel better soon, you did all the right things, so wonder how much worse you would have been...


----------



## Uncle Bob

Alix said:


> Youngest daughter came home with a cold about a week ago and in spite of frequent hand washing, doing doorknobs and light switches with disinfectant taking echinacea and drinking tons of fluid I feel like I'm getting it. DANG IT ALL!


 
Well you are in great company Miss Alix.  I feel as if a truck just ran over me. 'tis a virus me thinks. Be careful who you e-mail in the next few days!


----------



## Loprraine

Hope you folks feel better soon.  I've had mine for over 3 weeks now.


----------



## Uncle Bob

Loprraine said:


> Hope you folks feel better soon. I've had mine for over 3 weeks now.


 

 Three Weeks!!! Gee, thanks for the encouraging words Miss Loprraine!!


----------



## PA Baker

Hope you all feel better, Alix!  You guys just can't win with the colds this year, can you?


----------



## Loprraine

Uncle Bob, the good news is...I'm almost better!!!


----------



## JMediger

Sending all of you sniffler's mental cups of soup and soft tissues!  School starts here in 2 weeks and I'm not looking forward to the snot battle...  Hope you all feel better very quickly!


----------



## pdswife

Hope ya all feel better soon!


----------



## Alix

Thanks guys. The virtual soup and tissue is much appreciated. I'm still working hard on NOT being sick. LOL. Stupid summer colds! 

And PA, we've done so much better over the summer months I was thinking maybe we'd turned a corner here. Phooey. I'm so paranoid after last fall (and winter and spring) I swear I'm about ready to wear one of those mask thingys.


----------



## Dina

Take some vitamins and keep up with the yoga to relieve stress Alix.  Stress is most of the time the culprit of illnesses.  Hope you feel better soon.  Miss ya girl.


----------



## Reanie525i

Here we go yet again - My mom is finally doing well  recovering from the lung surgery- she just  went for the follow up  check up and they found another tumor in her kidney - not sure if it is yet another cancerous one or not - They want to remove the entire kidney as the tumor is so large - they do not want to biopsy as the Docs feel it will only further spread the cancer - God I need to quit smoking - They also found pre cancerous cells in her colon - Going crazy - BUT refuse to give up!!!!!


----------



## Jeekinz

Wendy's got rid of the Big Bacon Classic.....twas my favorite.


----------



## Renee Attili

Okay I need to vent..........................................
YT you are driving me slap crazy with your picture.
what are we up to now 19 pages of guesses?
WHAT IS IT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?


----------



## letscook

*Whats your Beef ??*

I bring this up only because it has been a busy week for me and then when I have time to sit and check my emails etc I final said what is wrong with people. Frustrating sooo... Heres my Beef: 

People who foward emails to others without deleting the list of people previous, so you have to go down a mile of everyone one in the world that has had it foward to get to what they sent and then find out it was somthing stupid that you could of delete instantly.

what gets to you?


----------



## middie

Work giving me a second week of vacation then telling me I wasn't entitled to it and now they don't want to pay me for it !


----------



## Dove

*I agree Letscook. It is so easy to copy and paste..I hate to see everyone's e-mail address.*


----------



## Renee Attili

middie said:


> Work giving me a second week of vacation then telling me I wasn't entitled to it and now they don't want to pay me for it !


That blows middie! I feel your pain. My boss owes me commissions dating back to the begining of June! I am about to the point of telling them,"I will come back in when you have my pay.


----------



## Jellybean

my beef is with certain unforgivable con artists on ebay,who take your money and don't send the goods!!!Then un register themselves so you can't contact them.This just happened to me and my husband and we are absaloutly fumeing!!


----------



## YT2095

same happened to me Jellybean, for over 50 quid with some git in Hong Kong!
paypal wont touch it either, so now I gotta try my credit card company instead.

so yeah, I`m with ya on that one too.


----------



## mercyteapot

How many am I allowed to name? 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





At the moment, it is the lack of printer and copier etiquette where I work; I came in to do some reports today and hit "print", walked to the printer down the hall (because the one in my office has been out of commission for months and God forbid they should either fix it or just get it out of here, but I guess that's another beef...) and it didn't print because there was no paper in the printer!  We have 2 admin assistants and they have been admonished by our director, assistant director and their own supervisor to make sure there is paper in the printer and copier before they leave each day.

Later, I went to copy something and someone had left pink paper in the copier!  Now, if the copier had been checked for paper like it is supposed to be yesterday, the pink paper should've been removed.  Plus, whoever used it should've taken it out after they were done, anyway.  I once had something of an argument with someone who was printing multiple copies of address labels and didn't bother telling us to hold off printing until she was done.  Yep, not only did my stuff get printed on to labels, but this woman was upset with me because of the cost of the wasted labels.  Um, and that was my fault why???

Okay, vent finished, feeling better...


----------



## Loprraine

My beef is reading the US Government's website about "Fiancee's Visas"  Now I find out I cannot have known him for more than 2 years.  Poking pins in my eyes is easier than what I will have to go through.


----------



## elaine l

Loprraine,  sounds like my daughter's dilemma.  She is trying to get a visa to stay in England with her bf.    Anyway my beef is....calling for tech support and spending 45 minutes just to get to the right person.   And those tunes I had to listen to AUGHHH!!!!!


----------



## sattie

Agree about the email forwarding, it is not that hard to delete all the 8 million addresses that it was forwarded to before. Plus when sending emails to multiple individuals, I hide the addresses.

My beef is with freakin cell phones... (and I work for one) just seems people seem to be less interested what is in the world than what is on that darned phone!!!! Incessently checking every 2 seconds to see if someone texted them or if they can find someone to call.... (as they drive or whatever) jeeze louise! 

OH.... the folks that block the whole grocery aisle with their cart.


----------



## Uncle Bob

Tech support that speaks english, but with such a "thick" accent you can't understand them. Tech support that goes by a script rather than interacting with you. Companies that have no Customer Service Department. I have to stop now. My blood pressure is going up!!!!!!!!


----------



## Barbara L

I'm pretty frustrated tonight.  James is a little over 2 months into his CAD training and still has 9 months to go.  He has a trac phone but we can't afford to add any time to it right now, so for the most part we have been communicating at night via MSN Messenger.  Now the training center has decided to block all messengers because they are afraid of getting viruses through them.  So now James and I don't have any way to talk to each other in a timely manner.  He left really late tonight (I was asked to "perform" a 3-minute dialog I had written at church tonight, and we had a few things to do to get him ready to go) so he won't be there for another hour or so, but he is going to check when he gets there to see if they have blocked message boards.  If he can get into DC we will talk through PMs.  Otherwise we will have to try to have a conversation through email.  That is so frustrating!  Oh well, that is really the least of our worries at the moment, but it would be nice to be able to talk to my husband more than every weekend!

Barbara


----------



## licia

Barbara, I hope the situation is put right very soon.  It isn't fun being out of touch. Dh has a gophone and he never uses all his minutes. Of course he hardly ever answers his phone either. Maybe after almost 50 years we don't have as much to talk about. I guess we've said it all!


----------



## Barbara L

licia said:


> Maybe after almost 50 years we don't have as much to talk about. I guess we've said it all!


I guess that's our problem--we've only been married 4 1/2 years!  

Thanks Licia!  In the end this will all have been worth it, but in the meantime it is sometimes a little frustrating.  

Barbara


----------



## Dina

Hang in there Barbara.  Hope you both can connect soon.  Remember that all sacrifice is compensated eventually.


----------



## Barbara L

Thanks Dina!  Yeah, I know things will work out.  And we can still communicate--just a little slower.  Some people don't even have that.  

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

I feel your frustration, too, Barbara L.  My hubby does a lot of traveling in his job and we're separated a lot and I'm by myself in a country where there is little to do.  Right now it's budget time for his company and even when he is home he is tied to the computer.  Many times when he is traveling, the hotels overseas don't even have computer access.  I hope that they haven't blocked communication for you.  Hang in there!!!!


----------



## Barbara L

Well that's odd.  I posted a response to you, expatgirl, a few hours ago but it isn't here.  Anyway, I just said that no matter how slow it is, at least I am fortunate to be able to communicate with James.  I was just frustrated last night.  I hope you don't have too many days with no communication from your husband.  Well, if you can't communicate with him, you can always talk to me!

 Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

Thanks, Barbara!! I really appreciate that and same with you. My back door is always open. We "widder folk" have to stick together.


----------



## gourmande

I'm  late into this thread _but_... 
latching onto a recent topic: my travelling keeps me from communicating with YOU GUYS! 

When I discovered this place I was elated - but now I find myself having to travel more (sans computer) and am suffering DC withdrawal...

Any antidotes you can suggest?

G


----------



## Barbara L

I know what you mean about DC withdrawl gourmande!  I think a lot of us go through that!  If you are traveling and are not able to go online, you can take notes about your travels to share with us when you get back "home" to DC!

Barbara


----------



## Dina

For any teachers out there please HELP!!! 

I'm really bugged today because my daughter's ELA teacher is making the GT class read on the 6th grade level basal. The problem is that some of these kids are getting REALLY bored and not passing the quizzes and tests with the short stories in this book. These are kids with an 8th and 9th grade reading level and can achieve a lot more than a leveled reader. I used to give my GT 6th graders novels to read in class and come up with activities, analytical assignments and quizzes because they were very advanced readers to keep them on a leveled reader book. I would make sure to challenge these kids. I'm so tempted to go talk to her teacher but my daughter says I'd only be embarrassing her. My daughter doesn't seem very happy in her reading class this year and it saddens me because reading is her favorite subject.  I'm worried.  School aged moms, dads and teachers: What should I do?


----------



## pdswife

Let the teacher run the class and buy your daughter all the books she wants to read at home. : )


----------



## Katie H

My first thought is to talk with your daughter about her class.  You say she "seems" unhappy with her reading class.  That is your perception and your concern as a parent and educator.  Sit down with your daughter and discuss how the class is going and what she would like to get out of it.  After you find out what she thinks, then you have a better  idea of what to do.

I understand the "don't embarrass me, mom" part, but you  might explain during your conversation how YOU feel and what your motivation is for speaking with her teacher.

Buck and I survived 5 children moving through all the grades and we had our moments.

I second pd's comments...give her all the books she  can  handle.


----------



## keltin

If you don’t want to embarrass your child, then cal the teacher on the phone and explain it. You can be anonymous that way, and it is a great first step. If more is required, then d@mn the embarrassment because education is key. 

But I’m wondering. How much are you expecting? I mean to fully analyze a literary work with vast symbolism requires insights that come with experience. 8th and 9th graders simply do not have that sort of experience. Look to Hemmingway’s “A Clean well lighted place” for example. I don’t expect (and seriously hope) an 8th grader ”gets” that.


----------



## Alix

Dina, I understand your plight. You don't want to embarrass Amanda, but you need to make sure she is getting a quality education. Is there a reporting period coming up when you would have a parent teacher interview scheduled anyway? You could bring it up then. 

Your girl is bright enough that she can muddle through this. This might be a short lived thing for a particular unit or something. I'd give it some time and see how it all settles out. Talk to Amanda again and try to get clearer info, also let her know that because you are her advocate you need to be sure she is getting the right stuff to learn all she needs. She will understand that. 

I also totally understand that you have to tread carefully so you don't shut down the lines of communication between you and your girl. I think you might want to decide how crucial a matter this is. Is it worth getting her all grumpy at you? I think if it were me, I'd let it ride a while longer and just keep it in mind for the next time I "happen" to meet up with the teacher for some other reason.


----------



## Dina

Thank you all very much.  I'm going to wait a bit and not step on the teacher's toes at all.  I'm hoping that these next 6 weeks she begins to introduce novels and more advanced and interested reading for the kids.  I've asked my daughter to continue reading books of her liking to continue her interest in reading.  The reporting period was up last Friday and she got a 97 in the class.  I'll give it more time.  Thank you all once more.


----------



## texasgirl

The saying goes, God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Well, I'm tired of being tested!!
My cousin now is being tested for colon cancer.
Lets see, my son was stabbed, husband had a cancer scare and we went broke from tests and he still can't eat his beloved brisket, my niece has caner and now my cousin is being checked, and my friend is going through dialysis, all in a year. Hmm, I'm tired now and getting depressed. Sorry, just venting. I'm at work and noone to talk to right now.


----------



## kadesma

texasgirl said:


> The saying goes, God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Well, I'm tired of being tested!!
> My cousin now is being tested for colon cancer.
> Lets see, my son was stabbed, husband had a cancer scare and we went broke from tests and he still can't eat his beloved brisket, my niece has caner and now my cousin is being checked, and my friend is going through dialysis, all in a year. Hmm, I'm tired now and getting depressed. Sorry, just venting. I'm at work and noone to talk to right now.


Hey you,
I know where you are and how you're feeling..I have those days too. But, does it help? do you feel better when you feel this way? NOPE to both questions? Smile, you are healthy, DH while he can't have brisket yet, is doing better, son has come through this, your loved ones who are facing the cancer need some strong shoulders now..You can lend them yours to lean on..There is nothing more loving than to just be there for them. I know if I write, you will answer, that is all I need, be glad you can give that to us. I am.
kadesma


----------



## Uncle Bob

(((((((((((((((((((((((kadesma))))))))))))))))))))))))


----------



## texasgirl

kadesma said:


> Hey you,
> I know where you are and how you're feeling..I have those days too. But, does it help? do you feel better when you feel this way? NOPE to both questions? Smile, you are healthy, DH while he can't have brisket yet, is doing better, son has come through this, your loved ones who are facing the cancer need some strong shoulders now..You can lend them yours to lean on..There is nothing more loving than to just be there for them. I know if I write, you will answer, that is all I need, be glad you can give that to us. I am.
> kadesma


 
I know what you are saying is true and as a good guy on here pm'd me telling me to look back and see that one set of footprints, I know I have to deal with this the best way I can and be strong as my mom always was and just be there for them and love them as much as I possibly can. I guess I'm just going through a poor me thing right now. I'm just tired and it's all hitting me at once. Thank you kads and Bob!!


----------



## Barb L.

Just remember we are all here for you, dump your venting here - not family, we understand.  Everything works out for the best.    God only knows the reasoning.  Take care !


----------



## corazon

not a vent, just a little grumble
I was gonna go see this show tonight. A friend of mine is producing it and I've missed the previous two that she's done. I promised myself I'd make it to this one. Tonight is the only night I could go but dh convinced me to make dinner for his dad. An early dinner so that I could still go. His dad is now a half hour late and now I'm too late. grumble grumble.


----------



## kadesma

corazon said:


> not a vent, just a little grumble
> I was gonna go see this show tonight. A friend of mine is producing it and I've missed the previous two that she's done. I promised myself I'd make it to this one. Tonight is the only night I could go but dh convinced me to make dinner for his dad. An early dinner so that I could still go. His dad is now a half hour late and now I'm too late. grumble grumble.


Sweetie,
you have every right to grumble...There are times we have to just say okay and make that dinner and then there are times we have to say, next week or tomorrow, but tonight is something I need for me..I have learned, and now am not afraid to tell an adult wait or no, just as I expect them to tell me...I find many stay at home mom's put in longer hours than some who have to work outside the home, either way you all work hard and long and need something just for you, to help you just enjoy life and the people around you.

hugs Cora just for you
kadesma


----------



## Katie H

*One heck of a 24  hours!*

I feel as though someone has put a great big "Kick me!" sign on my back.

It all started last night when our beloved outdoor president kitty, Tucker, died  in  my arms.  Buck and  I cried off and on the rest of the evening and, no surprise, there was a black cloud hanging over us when we got up this morning.

Then, I left early this morning to do my bi-weekly shopping and vittles trip to our biggest town about 30 miles away.  No big deal....normally.

On one of my 23 stops, I opened the checkbook to write a check for my purchase.  Crap.  Buck had given me a checkbook with no checks in it.  Easy fix.  I used our debit card.

Next, I'm in Wal-Mart and, as I bend over to pick up something off a shelf, my sunglasses slip out of the neck of my blouse, hit the floor and become a sunglass puzzle.  Semi-okay fix.  I have another pair in the car.

I bought a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch  and  found a nice shady place to eat it while I took a few minutes to regroup.  When I reach into the bag for the sandwich my watch falls into my lap.  Crap.  The watchband broke.  I put the watch in my purse.  Can't do anything about it immediately.

So I decide to enjoy my sandwich.  I take a bite and think that cheese shouldn't be crunchy, so I roll my tongue around to locate the crunchy nugget.  Lucky me, it's a huge filling out of one of my top teeth.  At this point I'm lovin' life.

Knowing  that our dentist's day off is Thursday, I call Buck and ask him to make an appointment for me for Friday.  The tooth doesn't hurt, but I'm a little leery about waiting  until Monday.  Buck called me back, saying the dentist is out of the office until Monday and that I have a 2 p.m. appointment for that day.  Oh, well.  I did what I could.  However, the sandwich was yummy.   It's only about 1 p.m. and I have  about 4 more hours ahead of me before I can leave to go home.

By 3:45 I'm beat and out of money, so I get in the car to head home.  Car won't start.  Doesn't even click or make any kind of noise indicating that it wants to start.  Call Buck again.  He comes to get me.   We transfer a "full" station wagon full of groceries, etc. from one car to another.  Then we drive straight to our mechanic's place in our town, give him the keys to my car, tell him where it is and what happened.

When it was all said and done, we didn't get home until about 5:30.  Hurried to get everything in the house before the rain started.  Now, it's raining steadily and we can't bury Tucker.  Crap and half!!

Okay, I'm  done venting.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Katie E said:


> I feel as though someone has put a great big "Kick me!" sign on my back.
> 
> It all started last night when our beloved outdoor president kitty, Tucker, died  in  my arms.  Buck and  I cried off and on the rest of the evening and, no surprise, there was a black cloud hanging over us when we got up this morning.
> 
> Then, I left early this morning to do my bi-weekly shopping and vittles trip to our biggest town about 30 miles away.  No big deal....normally.
> 
> On one of my 23 stops, I opened the checkbook to write a check for my purchase.  Crap.  Buck had given me a checkbook with no checks in it.  Easy fix.  I used our debit card.
> 
> Next, I'm in Wal-Mart and, as I bend over to pick up something off a shelf, my sunglasses slip out of the neck of my blouse, hit the floor and become a sunglass puzzle.  Semi-okay fix.  I have another pair in the car.
> 
> I bought a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch  and  found a nice shady place to eat it while I took a few minutes to regroup.  When I reach into the bag for the sandwich my watch falls into my lap.  Crap.  The watchband broke.  I put the watch in my purse.  Can't do anything about it immediately.
> 
> So I decide to enjoy my sandwich.  I take a bite and think that cheese shouldn't be crunchy, so I roll my tongue around to locate the crunchy nugget.  Lucky me, it's a huge filling out of one of my top teeth.  At this point I'm lovin' life.
> 
> Knowing  that our dentist's day off is Thursday, I call Buck and ask him to make an appointment for me for Friday.  The tooth doesn't hurt, but I'm a little leery about waiting  until Monday.  Buck called me back, saying the dentist is out of the office until Monday and that I have a 2 p.m. appointment for that day.  Oh, well.  I did what I could.  However, the sandwich was yummy.   It's only about 1 p.m. and I have  about 4 more hours ahead of me before I can leave to go home.
> 
> By 3:45 I'm beat and out of money, so I get in the car to head home.  Car won't start.  Doesn't even click or make any kind of noise indicating that it wants to start.  Call Buck again.  He comes to get me.   We transfer a "full" station wagon full of groceries, etc. from one car to another.  Then we drive straight to our mechanic's place in our town, give him the keys to my car, tell him where it is and what happened.
> 
> When it was all said and done, we didn't get home until about 5:30.  Hurried to get everything in the house before the rain started.  Now, it's raining steadily and we can't bury Tucker.  Crap and half!!
> 
> Okay, I'm  done venting.


I'm so sorry about Tucker, Katie. It's like losing a family member, isn't it?


----------



## Katie H

Fisher's Mom said:


> I'm so sorry about Tucker, Katie. It's like losing a family member, isn't it?



Yes,  he was.  He owned us for over 10  years.  I was just  saying to Buck  how  much I miss seeing him jump up on the hood of the car when I come home from my shopping trip.  No Tucker today.


----------



## keltin

OMG!!!  {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{KATIE}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I can't believe a day like that. One thing after another. It almost seems scripted…..someone up there has a strange sense of humor. But you know, it reads really well (you’re a good story teller), and one day, you’ll come back and probably laugh about this. Simply incredible!

Sorry it was rough, and we're hoping and praying you and Buck have a better day tomorrow!


----------



## keltin

I was about to rip this and upload it (I actually have this on VHS), but someone has already beat me to it. This is a clip from a GOOFY movie called Amazon Women On The Moon....circa 1987. It is worth the price of admission just to see this clip. This guy (a very young Aresenio Hall) is having one serious bad day. It always makes me laugh to watch this!!


----------



## kadesma

Katie,
you need a good stiff drink, to put your feet up and let the chips fall where they may..I'm so sorry about Tucker, I know that feeling. Enjoy the cool rain, and remember tomorrow there will be a rainbow...Just for YOU
kadesma


----------



## kitchenelf

{{{{Katie and Buck}}}}  I'm so sorry about Tucker.  I know you will miss him terribly.


----------



## Katie H

keltin said:


> I was about to rip this and upload it (I actually have this on VHS), but someone has already beat me to it. This is a clip from a GOOFY movie called Amazon Women On The Moon from 83. It is worth the price of admission just to see this clip. This guy (a very young Aresenio Hall) is having one serious bad day. It always makes me laugh to watch this!!



Yep, keltin.  That  was pretty much my day.  Thanks  for making  me laugh out loud.


----------



## jpmcgrew

Katie E said:


> I feel as though someone has put a great big "Kick me!" sign on my back.
> 
> It all started last night when our beloved outdoor president kitty, Tucker, died in my arms. Buck and I cried off and on the rest of the evening and, no surprise, there was a black cloud hanging over us when we got up this morning.
> 
> Then, I left early this morning to do my bi-weekly shopping and vittles trip to our biggest town about 30 miles away. No big deal....normally.
> 
> On one of my 23 stops, I opened the checkbook to write a check for my purchase. Crap. Buck had given me a checkbook with no checks in it. Easy fix. I used our debit card.
> 
> Next, I'm in Wal-Mart and, as I bend over to pick up something off a shelf, my sunglasses slip out of the neck of my blouse, hit the floor and become a sunglass puzzle. Semi-okay fix. I have another pair in the car.
> 
> I bought a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch and found a nice shady place to eat it while I took a few minutes to regroup. When I reach into the bag for the sandwich my watch falls into my lap. Crap. The watchband broke. I put the watch in my purse. Can't do anything about it immediately.
> 
> So I decide to enjoy my sandwich. I take a bite and think that cheese shouldn't be crunchy, so I roll my tongue around to locate the crunchy nugget. Lucky me, it's a huge filling out of one of my top teeth. At this point I'm lovin' life.
> 
> Knowing that our dentist's day off is Thursday, I call Buck and ask him to make an appointment for me for Friday. The tooth doesn't hurt, but I'm a little leery about waiting until Monday. Buck called me back, saying the dentist is out of the office until Monday and that I have a 2 p.m. appointment for that day. Oh, well. I did what I could. However, the sandwich was yummy. It's only about 1 p.m. and I have about 4 more hours ahead of me before I can leave to go home.
> 
> By 3:45 I'm beat and out of money, so I get in the car to head home. Car won't start. Doesn't even click or make any kind of noise indicating that it wants to start. Call Buck again. He comes to get me. We transfer a "full" station wagon full of groceries, etc. from one car to another. Then we drive straight to our mechanic's place in our town, give him the keys to my car, tell him where it is and what happened.
> 
> When it was all said and done, we didn't get home until about 5:30. Hurried to get everything in the house before the rain started. Now, it's raining steadily and we can't bury Tucker. Crap and half!!
> 
> Okay, I'm done venting.


First of all Im really sorry you lost Tucker.Next Try to look on the bright side of your going to town mishaps they could have been much worse.
First at least you had the debit card.
Next you had the spare sunglasses.They were in your purse for a reason.
Losing a filling is better than cracking a tooth or losing a crown.
Your watch could have been lost any where but it wasn't it fell in your purse.
Next be happy Buck was available to rescue you with the car problem.Im never that lucky as DH is never around when I really need his help.
And last it may sound a bit weird but the rain will soften the soil so it will be easier to make Tuckers final resting place.
I think if you try to see the good parts in set backs it makes it a little bit easier just a little.But thinking this way I think helps stop the cycle of set backs.Its not easy to do but it helps if not just a little bit.
So now sit back take a big breath, have a glass of wine,relax a bit and have Buck take care of you for a little while.Again Im so so sorry about your Tucker. JP


----------



## keltin

Katie E said:


> Yep, keltin. That was pretty much my day. Thanks for making me laugh out loud.


 
Glad to share! That's been my personal pill for years. I love to pop it in on those dark days.....it never fails to make me laugh....and once you laugh.....well things get better! 

We're really sorry about your cat....we're in the same boat with outdoor babies (DW has got about 9 or so cats that walk up and hang about for food and the occasional belly rub) and we hate to think about it........


----------



## Barbara L

What a horrible day Katie.  I'm so sorry about Tucker.  There's a lot to what JP said.  I hope you have a good night's sleep tonight and that tomorrow is a much better day.

Barbara


----------



## Alix

Aw, Katie and Buck, I'm so sorry about Tucker. That was the worst part of the whole day I'm sure. Everything else is just dominoes after that. Hugs to you both, and Katie, I find that throwing something sometimes helps.


----------



## expatgirl

Oh, Katie, I do feel for yours and Buck's loss of Tucker.  Our sweetest furchild, Tiffany, was found in the backyard by my daughter and myself about 3 years ago.  Talk about boohooing------T. only lived to have her ears scratched and to be petted while laying in your lap. She had us for 12 years. As for the bad day that followed---TGIO (thank goodness it's OVER!!!)  I like jpmcrew's positive spin on your horrible, no good day, however, as she's right---thank goodness nothing worse happened to you and you arrived home safely.   Lots of hugs and sympathy coming your way. <><><><><><>


----------



## jpmcgrew

expatgirl said:


> Oh, Katie, I do feel for yours and Buck's loss of Tucker. Our sweetest furchild, Tiffany, was found in the backyard by my daughter and myself about 3 years ago. Talk about boohooing------T. only lived to have her ears scratched and to be petted while laying in your lap. She had us for 12 years. As for the bad day that followed---TGIO (thank goodness it's OVER!!!) I like jpmcrew's positive spin on your horrible, no good day, however, as she's right---thank goodness nothing worse happened to you and you arrived home safely. Lots of hugs and sympathy coming your way. <><><><><><>


I just think if the town problems had happened on another day it maybe would not have been as bad but starting the day like that is just the pits.It happens sometimes just one thing after another and one can not help but wonder.What did I do to deserve this?


----------



## pdswife

Sorry about your kitty...how sad. 
Here's hoping tomorrow is a little happier.


----------



## Dina

Sorry about your loss Katie.  When we feel upset, things tend to go that way unfortunately.  These things happen to everyone.  Everything will be better.  Hugs to you sweet lady.


----------



## texasgirl

Oh man, Katie, I'm so sorry about your baby!! I hope it gets better for you!!


----------



## suziquzie

*Ah Duh!!!*

Just a warning to any other newcomers here, this is my first day here, and definately NOT my first day making pasta. Anyway, I have become so instantly addicted to this place I for the first time ever have overcooked my pasta!! I know, so what. But I never do that!!!

Ok, there's my rant. I'm done. The kids ate, that's all I can ask!


----------



## jpmcgrew

suziquzie said:


> Just a warning to any other newcomers here, this is my first day here, and definately NOT my first day making pasta. Anyway, I have become so instantly addicted to this place I for the first time ever have overcooked my pasta!! I know, so what. But I never do that!!!
> 
> Ok, there's my rant. I'm done. The kids ate, that's all I can ask!


No kidding.I love it here and the people here are the most incredibly nice and caring people you will ever meet.


----------



## kitchenelf

suziquzie said:


> Just a warning to any other newcomers here, this is my first day here, and definately NOT my first day making pasta. Anyway, I have become so instantly addicted to this place I for the first time ever have overcooked my pasta!! I know, so what. But I never do that!!!
> 
> Ok, there's my rant. I'm done. The kids ate, that's all I can ask!



Well, we're glad you found us just in time to blame us on your over-cooked pasta!


----------



## CharlieD

suziquzie said:


> Just a warning to any other newcomers here, this is my first day here, and definately NOT my first day making pasta. Anyway, I have become so instantly addicted to this place I for the first time ever have overcooked my pasta!! I know, so what. But I never do that!!!
> 
> Ok, there's my rant. I'm done. The kids ate, that's all I can ask!


 
Hey neighbor. If kids ate the noodles then they were not so bad. Where in MN are you? I am in the cities. Welcome.


----------



## expatgirl

suziquzie said:


> Just a warning to any other newcomers here, this is my first day here, and definately NOT my first day making pasta. Anyway, I have become so instantly addicted to this place I for the first time ever have overcooked my pasta!! I know, so what. But I never do that!!!
> 
> Ok, there's my rant. I'm done. The kids ate, that's all I can ask!



Welcome, Suziquize!

I'm sure that we can find a  DC 12 step program for you and counseling for your children if you'd like. Yep, this place IS addicting--glad that you're having fun.............


----------



## suziquzie

Hey Charlie. I'm up in North Branch. We lived in St. Paul most of our lives until we decided we needed wide open spaces.


----------



## CharlieD

One of this days we should have Minnesota get together. there are quite few members here.


----------



## SierraCook

Off and on over the last 4 weeks I have been having some serious troubles with my car and the auto shop has been not alot of help.  Today, I drove it to the next town (40 miles away) and it started having trouble again.  I got it to my brother's house and picked up our extra vehicle.  To top it all off why I was driving over to the next town was because I lost my wallet over the weekend and had to make a trip to the Department of Motor Vehicles to replace my drivers license.  *I swear if this car does not get it's act together I am going take one of the D-6 Cats (tractor) on my timber sale dig a big hole and drop my car in it. 
*
But the best thing is that my parents sent me flowers today to cheer me up.  

I hope that everyone else's that has been having issues and problems is doing better also.  Thanks for reading my venting.  I hope all of you have a wonderful day tomorrow.


----------



## Katie H

Aw,  Sierra, I  know  just how you  feel.  Recently  we  had some _issues_ with one  of our  cars.  About  a month  ago  I  had the day  from "you know where."

I  drove the 30  miles  to our nearest shopping town.  Buck had asked me to make a purchase  at  an  unscheduled  stop.  He gave  me the checkbook  to pay  for the purchase.  When I got to  the store,  there were no checks in the checkbook.  No problem,  I used  our debit card.

Then, later, as  I was looking at something on a store shelf, I bent down  and my  sunglasses hit the floor and  broke.   Again,  no problem, I had another pair in the  car.

Then, at noon,   I stopped  in a  shady  spot to  enjoy my  lunch sandwich.  I  reached for my sandwich and, when  I  picked up  the wrapper, my watch  fell  off.   The band  had  broken.  No fix here, so I put  my  watch into  my  purse.

Okay,  time to  eat my sandwich.   I  took a bite and, oops,  I  noticed that  my  ham and cheese was  a  bit  crunchy.   I rolled my  tongue  around in my  mouth and  came up with a  big  piece of a tooth.   Boo hiss!

At  this point  I was sure my day  couldn't  get worse.   Just as this was happening, Buck  called me on my cell  to  see how my day was going.  Well, he got an earful.   Told him it  couldn't  get any worse.   Never  say things  like that.

My goal that  day  was to start my drive home  no later than 3:45  p.m.   I  was soooooo happy to  look  at my  watch  when I  got in the car  at my last  stop...it was  only 3:30.   Yeah!   I was doin' great.

I put the  key into the ignition.  NOTHING.  Yep, day got worse.  Had to call Buck to drive the  30 miles to come and  get me.

After it was all said and done, I didn't get home until almost 6 p.m.



So, I  truly understand your frustration, but  don't bury your  car....yet!


----------



## Alix

My current vent is that my daughter got not one but 2 trojan horse viruses in her email and I'm having a heck of a time getting rid of them. ARGH!


----------



## CharlieD

I HATE CARS. Yes, I am screaming.


----------



## CharlieD

Now I mad at my self. You might remember I was asking about Mexican cooking and did event for about 150 people. Apparently people are still talking about how good it was, So what do you know, somebody just called and asked me to help with Mexican food night for a local boys school. I can't say no, which is not a problem by it self, the problem is I never put anything on the paper. And do not remember what or how to cook and how much of anything we need. Darn, stupid, stupid me, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


----------



## LEFSElover

Everything Christmas-y way too early in the year.
Heck, I'm not over Easter yet and it's always the holidays.
Just to much
Enough already with the songs and the signs and the decorations and the.........I know, bau humbug here


----------



## pdswife

I agree with you though... it seems like the stores start decorating earlier and earlier every year.  It drives me crazy.  I love the holidays... I just don't want to be forced to deal with them in September instead of Nov./Dec.


----------



## Barb L.

pdswife said:


> I agree with you though... it seems like the stores start decorating earlier and earlier every year.  It drives me crazy.  I love the holidays... I just don't want to be forced to deal with them in September instead of Nov./Dec.



I so agree with you, I love Christmas in DEC> I do have my grandsons presents bought, need to be wrapped yet !  Happy Thanksgiving all !


----------



## expatgirl

Happy  Thanksgiving, Barbara, and to everyone on this site!!!!!!


----------



## CharlieD

Darn, put way too much pepper into my gravy, it is really spice. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr


----------



## texasgirl

CharlieD said:


> Darn, put way too much pepper into my gravy, it is really spice. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr


I'm sorry.
 Can you add some broth and flour?


----------



## CharlieD

I made another batch without pepper and mix both together. My wife in gravy haven she loves gravy.


----------



## suziquzie

MMMM a gallon of gravy can't be a bad thing!!!!


----------



## DawnT

*D**m Dog!!!*

Okay, so I went to the store to get cat food.  No big deal as I had fed the d**m dogs already and there was food left, right?!?  WRONG!!!  Ten minutes!!  Thats all I was gone, and that stupid black lab (14 mos.) had already torn the wicker garbage basket up and strewn it across the room and out the doggie door into the dog run!!  Not my dog mind you,  I didn't even want the darn thing, I said no last Christmas when my son(20 yrs) asked me so he asks DH and he says "Yes if Mom is OK with it"  NO I AM NOT!!!    Now the darn thing thinks that I am supposed to be with him all the time and if not he will punish me.  ARRGGAHH

Thanks,  That makes me feel a little better, but...  he also stole the extra pumpkin pie after we got done Thanksgiving Day so.......


----------



## texasgirl

DawnT said:


> Okay, so I went to the store to get cat food. No big deal as I had fed the d**m dogs already and there was food left, right?!? WRONG!!!  Ten minutes!! Thats all I was gone, and that stupid black lab (14 mos.) had already torn the wicker garbage basket up and strewn it across the room and out the doggie door into the dog run!! Not my dog mind you, I didn't even want the darn thing, I said no last Christmas when my son(20 yrs) asked me so he asks DH and he says "Yes if Mom is OK with it" NO I AM NOT!!!  Now the darn thing thinks that I am supposed to be with him all the time and if not he will punish me. ARRGGAHH
> 
> Thanks, That makes me feel a little better, but... he also stole the extra pumpkin pie after we got done Thanksgiving Day so.......


 
I'm sorry, but, I have been through it all, over and over again. I love my doggies. DH get's so mad at them and threatens to take them off, but, I would beat him sensless if he even tried I look at it a little different than most people. All the chewing and messes are worth the love and devotion that I get from them after their puppy stage.


----------



## DawnT

Please, please tell me it isn't so.. someone told me the puppy stage of a black lab is 3years!!! AARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!NNOOOOO.....!  I do love the dogs .. it's just so frustrating at times (every other day!).  DawnT


----------



## texasgirl

DawnT said:


> Please, please tell me it isn't so.. someone told me the puppy stage of a black lab is 3years!!! AARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!NNOOOOO.....! I do love the dogs .. it's just so frustrating at times (every other day!). DawnT


 
The thing is, it's not just Labs, it's all retrievers and the working dog group. They have to have something to do constantly. What sometimes works is, buying the pup something to chew on. When you catch them with something that is not allowed, pick it up, stomp your foot and loudly say NO, then give them THEIR toy and say, this is yours and pet their head when they take it.
Mine is 9 months and does so much better with finding clothes and things to chew on when she has her stuffed animals to play with. I go to the dollar store and buy stuffed animals without beaded eyes. Get the ones with sewn eyes.


----------



## DawnT

texasgirl,  I will def try.  he does have an array of toys - both his and the ones he stole from the grandchildren LOL.


----------



## expatgirl

My brother in law's retriever literally ate into the side of their rental home for which  they ended up paying big bucks  (my sister-in-law's reaction was like yours, Dawn)------these breed of dogs apparently need chew toys and lots of them--Rufus would chew on a log until his gums bled....hope your purgatory is over soon.


----------



## DawnT

expatgirl,  he has torn the siding off the house in several places already, trying to get to the red squirrels that want move in for the winter!!  Purgatory is such a crazy place I live in!!


----------



## buckytom

please, all of the tourists planning on coming to nyc over the next coupla weeks, stay home. or go somewhere else.
there's no shows, the weather's crappy, and the tree is especially small this year.

and i can't take the commute anymore. 

oh, if you must come, be sure to take the express lanes of I-80 into the GW bridge.


----------



## TanyaK

Just to make you all feel better - at least (hopefully) you're not dealing with power outages (at least once a week) for an hour or two- usually when everyone's making supper - the joys of living in Africa 
Can relate to the black lab story - my puppy used to sit next to me whenever I planted anything and I could be sure that the remains would be waiting for me when I got back from work the next day - he never left one plant in the ground.


----------



## Katie H

buckytom said:


> please, all of the tourists planning on coming to nyc over the next coupla weeks, stay home. or go somewhere else.
> there's no shows, the weather's crappy, and the tree is especially small this year.
> 
> and i can't take the commute anymore.
> 
> oh, if you must come, be sure to take the express lanes of I-80 into the GW bridge.



Okay, bucky.  I'll stay away this holiday season.  Your plea worked.  Oh, wait, I wasn't going to visit New York anyway.


----------



## expatgirl

oh, Dawn, you have my deepest sympathies...hang in there girl.........




DawnT said:


> expatgirl,  he has torn the siding off the house in several places already, trying to get to the red squirrels that want move in for the winter!!  Purgatory is such a crazy place I live in!!


----------



## DawnT

expatgirl,  he ate the back of my shoe last night.  DH got them for our anniv.  as I wanted nothing else but a nice pair of leather slid-ons.  Now one is nice, the other...  Anyone want a slightly used doggie??


----------



## DawnT

TanyaK,  I have no plants left,  nothing is going to survive; let lone me, if something doesn't change soon!  I don't think I have anymore tears left either.  My head hurts.  My son doesn't want to try a muzzle at all, has anyone?


----------



## kadesma

Dawn,
I am a dog lover but, I firmly believe you cannot love a dog that misbehaves. The dog needs schooling and so does your son..If he has a pet, then he cares for it...Not just feeding and watering but getting it to obedience school and making it behave at home...All pups chew that is a given, if the dog is that destructive then he needs to be crated when there is nobody to watch him. If one of my kids did this I'd put up with it for a time, but then there would be, do something now today or find the pooch a good home some place else or outside.I know it's hard to jump on our kids, but, I think you've put up with enough.

kadesma


----------



## expatgirl

Some advice-------- get the shoe that survived the shark attack and whack your son until he promises to supervise his dog.


----------



## Loprraine

> but getting it to obedience school and making it behave at home..


 
Well said.  And the dog will probably be happier also!  Sorry about what you're going through, Dawn.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Watch some dog whisperer episodes. I'm not sure I agree with his psychology of the dog mind, but he says dogs, like children, need to know what is acceptable and what isn't  and firm, consistent discipline. I absolutely believe in crates for dogs that cannot be trusted on their own. If you learn how to do it, you can train your dog(s) in a relatively short period of time and they will be a pleasure instead of a pain. But I feel your pain, girlfriend - how do you think I learned this? lol


----------



## Barb L.

Dawn, your dog sounds as if he needs to run, he has too much pent up puppy energy.  Think he needs something to release it all, probably bored .  (out on a farm) !  I don't have any patience with any misbehaving,- animal or human -


----------



## DawnT

*Dog from H****

Thanks to you all!!  My DH bought another pair of shoes last night, and I felt really great leaving the store after the clerk told the grandchildren that "You are lucky, my mommy and daddy wouldn't buy me anything so close to Christmas."  Tommy told her that we were Gramma and Papa and you could have fried an egg off the heat from her face!  As to the dog from H***,  DS is now looking into training for doggie dearest, a crate the size of Texas, and has to pay DH back for my shoes.   Hows that for an ultimatum Kadesma?!?    I didn't even have to whack him with the shoe either, expatgirl.  Thanks for your sympathy Loprraine.    I have heard of the Dog whisperer, Fisher's Mom and will try to watch it some evening.  Thanks. Barb L,  as for him having enough room to run,  he is outside everyday. We (dog and I) play soccer with the dalmation in the back field and they are on the invisible fence collars with 5 acres.  I'm still going crazy,  just a little slower today!!  DawnT


----------



## DawnT

Actually,...what if I crated DS and put the doggie in his room...    !!!


----------



## GB

jpmcgrew asked that I post this for her...


----------



## kadesma

DawnT said:


> Actually,...what if I crated DS and put the doggie in his room...    !!!


Now there ya go
I think the steps you've taken, are wonderful  Way to go Mom!

kadesma


----------



## jpmcgrew

DawnT said:


> Actually,...what if I crated DS and put the doggie in his room...  !!!


As you can see my poster I made a few years ago we also had crazy puppy.She tore more stuff than I listed and refused to house train we had to get forceful with her.And yes we still have and she is a good dog now.
Many thanks to GB for putting up poster for me.


----------



## GB

My pleasure jpmcgrew.


----------



## pdswife

you guys need to get a cat.  They are so much less trouble!

You have to put up with catattitude but... it's worth it for the love you get ( on their terms.)


----------



## jpmcgrew

HEY,does any one appreciate this poster?I had to take it out of its frame,scan it and beg GB to post it.It was either make the poster so I could find the humor in her bad behaviour or speed up Daisys demise or give her away we knew no one would put up with such behavior and her life span would have been very short which we would never do so we stuck with it.She really is a good doggy now.No she really is and we love her.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

I _love_ your poster, JP! It made me laugh out loud and also remember a neighbor's boxer who ate a whole wet suit once!!


----------



## jpmcgrew

Fisher's Mom said:


> I _love_ your poster, JP! It made me laugh out loud and also remember a neighbor's boxer who ate a whole wet suit once!!


Thanks FM, Daisy happens to be 1/2 boxer.OMG I never thought we would turn her around she was completley impossible of all the things she destroyed it was the National Geographics that really pissed me off as I was starting a nice collection.But as I said before she is alive and well I would never have hurt her but she really made me want to.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

It's funny - they really are just like kids in so many ways. I know some kids that I honestly didn't hold out much hope for them ever becoming "civilized", but the actually turned into fine people. And I've had some dogs and cats that definitely tried my patience to the point of wanting to "find them a good home in the country with lots of room to run".

I _did_ have to turn one cat into an outside cat because he wouldn't quit peeing on everything in the house. He promptly lost a fight with a raccoon - and I mean _permanently_ lost. One of my kids is still mad at me for that but I really couldn't break him of spraying in the house.


----------



## kadesma

jpmcgrew said:


> Thanks FM, Daisy happens to be 1/2 boxer.OMG I never thought we would turn her around she was completley impossible of all the things she destroyed it was the National Geographics that really pissed me off as I was starting a nice collection.But as I said before she is alive and well I would never have hurt her but she really made me want to.


JP,
 love the poster...Been there done that, son's pooch.. loveable doxie, but a royal pain..His favorite pastime is to wait til you leave the kitchen then he gets up on the table for dinner..Nothing is sacred with ol Woody around...I warned my son, if I ever catch woods on the table again, he will be meeting my favorite pair of pliars J/K but he has been warned...
kadesma


----------



## jpmcgrew

Fisher's Mom said:


> It's funny - they really are just like kids in so many ways. I know some kids that I honestly didn't hold out much hope for them ever becoming "civilized", but the actually turned into fine people. And I've had some dogs and cats that definitely tried my patience to the point of wanting to "find them a good home in the country with lots of room to run".
> 
> I _did_ have to turn one cat into an outside cat because he wouldn't quit peeing on everything in the house. He promptly lost a fight with a raccoon - and I mean _permanently_ lost. One of my kids is still mad at me for that but I really couldn't break him of spraying in the house.


We really try and try but sometimes you hit a point a cat spraying in the house is a really bad one something I will not put up with.Our cat Shadow started spraying when we got Snoopy so we did not love him in front of Shadow until he decided Snoopy was OK now its all good.


----------



## DawnT

*Poster*

OMG  Thank-you jpmcgrew you too, GB for that poster!! I had to compose myself (and change!). That would fit Deuce to a T if the picture was him!! I have to say that he is being a good boy today and not leaving my side. I do have one word that I can say that neither dog will ignore... BELL.  They both hate the cow bell that I have used to train them from jumping up on people. Just mention it and they will stop what they are doing wrong, and go lay down. Now if I could only get a way to remote system... I do have a cat, Lucky. They are afraid of her, she rules the water dish.


----------



## jpmcgrew

DawnT said:


> OMG  Thank-you jpmcgrew you too, GB for that poster!! I had to compose myself (and change!). That would fit Deuce to a T if the picture was him!! I have to say that he is being a good boy today and not leaving my side. I do have one word that I can say that neither dog will ignore... BELL.  They both hate the cow bell that I have used to train them from jumping up on people. Just mention it and they will stop what they are doing wrong, and go lay down. Now if I could only get a way to remote system... I do have a cat, Lucky. They are afraid of her, she rules the water dish.


You should make you own poster its fun to do and believe me that dog destroyed much more than I listed.I hung it on the wall by their dog bowls.


----------



## jpmcgrew

I dont use a bell but the dogs a very familiar with the fly swatter all I have to do is show it to them and they straighten out.


----------



## jpmcgrew

I used to have a great big Red Bone Coon Hound named Henry and a Border Collie named Little.Well when I used to work at the Ski Valley in Taos they would hafto stay in the house all day till my boyfriend and I got home in the afternoon.It was Christmas time we had wrapped presents to give to friends etc our kitchen had open cabinets.Well one day we came home and walked in the door it was sooo funny.There was Little looking at us like he didnt do it(and I dont think he did) but knew he was gonna be in big trouble anyway.So in the living room all the gifts had the wrapping tore off and wrapping paper everywhere.Also all the food in the cabinets where strewn all over the floor every package open and spilled every where including bread,baking soda,crackers and those things that where called Mr.Phipps.A total catastrophy.Needless to say they didnt get in too much trouble as they knew what they did.But we used to call it the day Henry threw a Mr.Phipps Party


----------



## DawnT

*Dog*

Actually,  I wonder.. you know how some people regift?  Can I regift a dog back to my brother?!?  He isn't even going to come to Mom's for Christmas, so maybe if I just drop him down the chimney..   Just joking  -  I think.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

You are so funny, Dawn! But you know, my oldest daughter had a habit of picking up stray animals and then giving them to her brothers and sister as "gifts" - gifts that live at my house!!!! I've often wondered about regifting some of them back to her.


----------



## DawnT

Fisher's Mom,  I think we should!!  Told my DS you said I was funny,  he said yea,  looking!!??  BRAT that he is got the new shoe on the butt.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

OMG Dawn, he must be a teen! I have 2 teen boys and they say the same thing. A good use for new shoes, though.


----------



## DawnT

Fisher's Mom, Actually he's 2mos shy of 21!!  I thought it was a good way to break them in too!      :>)


----------



## Dave Hutchins

*Venting*

I called xyz company for ink for my printer.. Instead of getting a United States American customer service person I got some individual from the Philppines who could barley speak English.. I think this has gone on too far
outsourceing jobs we Americans can and should have the opertunity to fill. I told him I would buy US products and hung up.


----------



## babetoo

Dave Hutchins said:


> I called xyz company for ink for my printer.. Instead of getting a United States American customer service person I got some individual from the Philppines who could barley speak English.. I think this has gone on too far
> outsourceing jobs we Americans can and should have the opertunity to fill. I told him I would buy US products and hung up.


 
i find this just a pain in the a## can't understand em and i always ask for a supervisior. sometimes can't understand them either. ran into this on tech for computer. just made me crazy.

babe


----------



## Shani

It's one of my pet hates too!  I adore my car insurance company because I always get an Aussie on the other end and they are so helpful. you want to know they are employing your own countrymen instead of outsourcing their work to overseas!


----------



## Bilby

As Shani knows, most of our service companies and the accounts companies of other companies are off-shore, usually in India.  We are constantly inundated with Indian call centres trying to flog us something.  We now also get pre-recorded messages originating from America too!!

And someone in Australian television made a determination that local content for TV (of which we require a minimum level to stop our programming being overrun with imports thereby destroying our industry) can now include New Zealand produced programmes!  Not sure if our Kiwi friends realised that they have been colonised by the Australian television networks!!

You do wonder where it will stop.


----------



## auntdot

My problem with talking to someone in another land is first I am lucky if I can sort of understand what they are sayiing. And I am used to dealing with folks speaking with many accents.

Second, and more important, they don't know anything.

Had a minor problem with my then new computer.  Someone with a barely understandable Indian accent told me to do something.  It did not work.

Then she told me to blow away my hard drive. Just like that, poof.

Had already moved over all of the stuff from the old computer.  Did not want to do that.

Took the computer to the computer geek shop, he pushed the F11 button, and everything was fine.

In the UK called information about railroad connections.  Got someone in India who knew less about the place than we did.  Fortunately the misinformation we were given was so ridiculous we did not follow it.

Now if I call for help and I hear a very foreign accent just demand a supervisor who can speak English.  There usually is someone there who actually knows something.  You just have to use up a bunch of time and get yourself upset to get to one.


----------



## mikki

This may sound mean, but sometimes when a telemarketer calls and has a foreign accent that I can not understand-- I jabbor back in like baby talk, then when they say excuse me (I think thats what they say) I say now you know how I feel! and hang up.


----------



## Hawkeye16

auntdot said:


> My problem with talking to someone in another land is first I am lucky if I can sort of understand what they are sayiing. And I am used to dealing with folks speaking with many accents.
> 
> Second, and more important, they don't know anything.
> 
> Had a minor problem with my then new computer. Someone with a barely understandable Indian accent told me to do something. It did not work.
> 
> Then she told me to blow away my hard drive. Just like that, poof.
> 
> Had already moved over all of the stuff from the old computer. Did not want to do that.
> 
> Took the computer to the computer geek shop, he pushed the F11 button, and everything was fine.
> 
> In the UK called information about railroad connections. Got someone in India who knew less about the place than we did. Fortunately the misinformation we were given was so ridiculous we did not follow it.
> 
> Now if I call for help and I hear a very foreign accent just demand a supervisor who can speak English. There usually is someone there who actually knows something. You just have to use up a bunch of time and get yourself upset to get to one.


 
The funny thing about this is I was my college's computer technician for 4 years and I had to call Microsoft's call centers a few times... I taught them something almost every time... very basic stuff. They REALLY don't know what they are doing.


----------



## Callisto in NC

What used to bug me before I cancelled the service was that AMERICA Online (AOL) had all it's customer service centers moved to India.  Seriously, how can you have AMERICA in your name if you are taking jobs away from Americans????????  Oh, but try and cancel and dayum skippy you'll get a guy in the US to try and talk you out of canceling.


----------



## *amy*

Dave Hutchins said:


> I called xyz company for ink for my printer.. Instead of getting a United States American customer service person I got some individual from the Philppines who could barley speak English.. I think this has gone on too far
> outsourceing jobs we Americans can and should have the opertunity to fill. I told him I would buy US products and hung up.


 
I agree, Dave. I bought a TV on line from a major electronics chain store. There was no packing slip or invoice. (Needed one for the warranty/proof of purchase, etc.) When I called the on-line phone # for help, wound up in the Phillipines as well. Can't decide which is more frustrating - inability to understand the accent, waiting ten minutes for the next word to come out of his mouth, or switchhooking & disconnecting me when I asked for a supervisor. Similar situation when contacting a Tech from my isp.


----------



## *amy*

Callisto in NC said:


> ... Oh, but try and cancel and dayum skippy you'll get a guy in the US to try and talk you out of canceling.


 
You couldn't be more 'right on the money.'  They will not let you go.


----------



## jkath

Dave I'm with you. Let me share my tidbit:
While printing Christmas Card envelopes, my barely 2-year old Epson printer died. My last epson had the same lifespan, and even though I loved the way it worked, I decided to go "upgrade" and go with an HP. I was setting up this new gizmo and hadn't even hooked it up to the computer yet.
"Brittney" answered my call. I think they choose American names so as to fool us silly singletons. I could barely understand her. Since I know the company has a very large port in Malaysia (brother in law just moved there by the company), I asked if that's where she was located. Sure enough. I asked one question: "My computer won't print it's test sheet. I've checked with troubleshooting, and it appears as though it is a non-working device. Should I return it to the store?" I repeatedly told her that I could not understand her, and could I please speak with someone who was fluent in English. After 58 minutes with her and another 35 minutes with her "English-speaking manager", "Jeff", who, by the way didn't speak any better than her, I was told this golden nugget of wisdom: "It appears that your printer is not functioning properly. You must return it to the store of origin."

grrrrrrrrr.


----------



## babetoo

*venting*

first of all a good rant, we got a new baby in the family on christmas eve. this was after four days of touch and go for the mom. the baby is very small but is breating on her own, delivered 8 or 9 weeks early. we are blessed.

now the venting. we went to granddaughter's for christmas brunch, we waited three hours for her parents to get there. they had the great granddaughter with them. had her over nite for some reason.

finally they came, by this time we all were so angry that i for one did not stay much longer. the baby was the show for me and my daughter. 

oh well, now i am waiting for another granddaughter and her boy friend to come for dinner. she had to work yesterday. we said five and now has been changed til 6:30 , he is still at work.

these young people need a lesson in being on time. as cooks u all know what i mean. not always easy to hold some dishes that long. oh well, i get to see new baby tomorrow. 

joy to all
babe


----------



## texasgirl

babetoo said:


> first of all a good rant, we got a new baby in the family on christmas eve. this was after four days of touch and go for the mom. the baby is very small but is breating on her own, delivered 8 or 9 weeks early. we are blessed.
> 
> now the venting. we went to granddaughter's for christmas brunch, we waited three hours for her parents to get there. they had the great granddaughter with them. had her over nite for some reason.
> 
> finally they came, by this time we all were so angry that i for one did not stay much longer. the baby was the show for me and my daughter.
> 
> oh well, now i am waiting for another granddaughter and her boy friend to come for dinner. she had to work yesterday. we said five and now has been changed til 6:30 , he is still at work.
> 
> these young people need a lesson in being on time. as cooks u all know what i mean. not always easy to hold some dishes that long. oh well, i get to see new baby tomorrow.
> 
> joy to all
> babe


 
Wow, that is just disrespectful, especially for a grown woman. I hate people like that. Sounds like she's just a witch. As for that grandaughter and boyfriend, that I can relate to. Young kids just don't get it!!
Hope you have a better time today.


----------



## Dina

Try having a brother and sister-in-law in their 40s and still being 2 hours late for every gathering we hold at our house.  We asked them to be at our home at 8:00 p.m. on Christmas Eve for dinner and they arrived at 9:00 and asking for a room to wrap presents in.  Sheesh!  It's not just the young people anymore.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

I think every family must have perpetually late people. I do too but I solved it 4 years ago. I cheerfully let everyone know that the meal would be served at whatever time but not to worry if they were late - I'd save them a plate. And that's exactly what I do. I plate up one plate for the straggler(s) and then proceed as planned. It's unfair to make the prompt folks suffer every time. Plus, I'm not good at holding a meal without having it suffer in some way so it's a double loss.

Anyway, there were some very surprised folks the first year or two when they arrived to find the table already cleared! I served them each a plate I had made for them and told them to join us in the living room when they were finished. I didn't fuss at anyone for being late but I didn't accommodate anyone's tardiness, either.

What has happened is that the young folks who were always late are still late, but I don't hold up the meal or birthday cake or whatever for them so things are better. But the older people who were always late aren't anymore. Apparently, they don't like being unable to have seconds or missing the wine with the meal or not being in the pictures, etc. They may not like having to make the effort now but since I never scold and I save them a plate, there really isn't much they can say!


----------



## suziquzie

In some folks defense (not many though!) DH and I were always on time, until we had the 1st baby. Then we had to re-adjust, but got back to being on time. Until the 2nd came along, then we had to figure out how to get 2 kids out the door on time. But we manged. By the 3rd baby, we did most of the inviting! But we are still able to get where we're supposed to when asked. 
My brother on the other hand, made me yell loudly on Christmas Eve. I was sick, I busted my butt to get this dinner done at 5 sharp, because he requested the later dinner, they were also going to his wife's family's house for dinner at 1. Now the whole reason our family started DOING the Eve gathering was that her family did Christams day. Fine. Somehow in the last 3 years they have changed it to Christmas eve also. Still fine. They insist on going to both. Still fine. But text message me when I take the ham out and say we'll be there in an hour or so???? NO. We ate. They got here as we were clearing dishes. They have no children and aren't going to. I've told him repeatedly pick 1 gathering, I won't be offended. I think he's decided now to do that. I didn't yell at him, but I think my mother told him I was angry, which I told her not to do. I vent, I suck it up, life goes on.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

suziquzie said:


> In some folks defense (not many though!) DH and I were always on time, until we had the 1st baby. Then we had to re-adjust, but got back to being on time. Until the 2nd came along, then we had to figure out how to get 2 kids out the door on time. But we manged. By the 3rd baby, we did most of the inviting! But we are still able to get where we're supposed to when asked.
> My brother on the other hand, made me yell loudly on Christmas Eve. I was sick, I busted my butt to get this dinner done at 5 sharp, because he requested the later dinner, they were also going to his wife's family's house for dinner at 1. Now the whole reason our family started DOING the Eve gathering was that her family did Christams day. Fine. Somehow in the last 3 years they have changed it to Christmas eve also. Still fine. They insist on going to both. Still fine. But text message me when I take the ham out and say we'll be there in an hour or so???? NO. We ate. They got here as we were clearing dishes. They have no children and aren't going to. I've told him repeatedly pick 1 gathering, I won't be offended. I think he's decided now to do that. I didn't yell at him, but I think my mother told him I was angry, which I told her not to do. I vent, I suck it up, life goes on.


Suzie, I know what you mean about kids. I have 7 and for many years had foster children, too. It was impossible sometimes to be sure of being on time. Usually, I didn't accept dinner invitations, telling the host that it was difficult for me to commit to a certain time. That's why I don't fuss at latecomers - I've been there myself. And I never wanted to be the reason for holding up a meal or birthday cake so I either didn't accept or made it clear that activities should go on as planned even if I wasn't there yet. I think you handled it great when your brother texted he'd be late - you went ahead and ate! Was he upset about that?


----------



## suziquzie

No he expects us to..... but my mother won't do it. She thinks it's rude not to wait for them when it's a family meal. But as usual I think the opposite of my mother. I think it's more rude to keep a family with 3 starving little kids waiting and smelling dinner and stuffing them with crackers to keep them quiet. 
But, she likes him better anyway.... if I were the late one I'm sure they'd eat.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

OMG Suzie, I think we have the same mother! But _you_ are right, it's bad form to keep people, especially little people, waiting on latecomers. Of course, you'll never convince your mom but that's a whole other issue, huh.


----------



## suziquzie

FM I can't convince my mother that the sky is blue some days......


----------



## pdswife

lol!  I have to add my vent about MOM....  we had Christmas at MY house this year.  Mom wanted to help so I gave her two jobs.  1. Bring a pie.  2. Make the mashed potatoes.

She bought a "bake at home pie"  baked it and burned the poor thing.  BLACK!
I told her NOT TO put the potato peels down the disposal.  I know my pipes.  I knew they'd get clogged.   SHE DID IT ANY WAY!  Paul spent 45 minutes taking the sink apart and unplugging every thing.  She kept saying she didn't hear me telling her about the peels... maybe she didn't but... as Paul was unscrewing pipes she was telling me how
Grandpa had done the same thing to her one Thanksgiving.  She lied to me and said that she only put a few peels down at a time.  Wrong..she only turned the disposal one ONE time.  She kept insisting that MY disposal was bad and that I needed a good one.

AND to top it all off 
instead of being late she came TWO dang hours early!
We'd discussed times three times.  She was supposed to come at 4:00pm but at 
1:30pm she called and said " I hope you're home because I don't have anywhere else to go and I'm 15 minutes from your house."

Boy I was saying nasty words in my head all weekend long.


----------



## mikki

Well I have to say I relate to everyone of these stories. 
   Went to Dads and Steps for T-Day Told to be there a 2 we ate at 6:00 because her kids told her that morning that they couldn't come till then,she didn't feel the need to call me.
the next year I asked what time we were eating then called her back to make sure then told her that if it wasn't done by such-n-such time we would have to leave,that we had "somewhere" else to be.
   Had a hard time getting to places on time the first few times with kids when they were little, then figured it out.
   Inlaws are always late we usually tell them to be here 1 hour before everyone else, then they are on time.
   Now that my kids are older, this year I tried to make it easier for the relatives that have little kids or had other places to go.  My moms side- cousin has two small boys, we do Christmas breakfast, I was going to have it at my house, then remembered that she said something about how hard it was to get the boys out that early so I talked to her and said that if it was easier she could host breakfast, she was thrilled and I told her when she was ready to give it up let me know and I'd host.
   My BIL, wife and 3mo baby girl came in from Florida. His wifes family lives in the same area that we do so I called can asked her family when they were planning Christmas celebration. I moved ours with them to Christmas eve so it would be easier for them to see everyone. BILs mother thanked me in tears because she has always had to compete with the inlaws for holidays. To me it doesn't matter what day we celebrate as long as we get to spend time with family.
  This was the first Christmas we didn't have to worry about getting from one place to another in time.  I think this is the first Christmas I have really enjoyed with MY kids.


----------



## TanyaK

Does anyone have friends who always wait until the last minute to RSVP when you invite them to something? When you say "please let me know by Wednesday" they'll call on Friday when the party is for Saturday. It always makes me think they're waiting for something better to come up. The last time it happened I said "sorry you didn't let me know and I've already catered for the amount of people who RSVP'd" and then I ended up feeling like a horrible person. I understand that now and again people forget to RSVP on time but when the same couple do it every time it makes me not actually want to invite them to anything anymore.


----------



## texasgirl

I'm sorry, but, I'm going to say something that might make some of you mad, but, I have to say it. I've been reading how your "mom's" are making you mad by doing some stupid things. Please, sit down and breathe and be appreciative that you have your parents at all. My dad died when I was 7 and I have no memories of him at all. My mom died Oct. 5 1992 when I was 23. Christmas was her all time favorite holiday. She loved the weather, she loved decorating, baking, buying for everyone and loved that day that we all were able to be together with her. Do you know how much I would give to have her here burning something, or breaking something or getting early or even 4 hours late. My boys don't even know what it's like to have a real grandmother as the MIL is material and only cares about the girls in the family. I don't want your sympathy, I just want you to realize how good you have it. Next time one of you family members, parents especially, make you angry, sit down, breathe, and think about, what if they were gone and you were alone without them. You will no longer have that phone call on your birthday, have that that ability to call them when you need a shoulder to cry on or when you have exciting news. Hold tight to them and be glad that you still have them. After all, things can be replaced, loved ones can't be.


----------



## texasgirl

TanyaK said:


> Does anyone have friends who always wait until the last minute to RSVP when you invite them to something? When you say "please let me know by Wednesday" they'll call on Friday when the party is for Saturday. It always makes me think they're waiting for something better to come up. The last time it happened I said "sorry you didn't let me know and I've already catered for the amount of people who RSVP'd" and then I ended up feeling like a horrible person. I understand that now and again people forget to RSVP on time but when the same couple do it every time it makes me not actually want to invite them to anything anymore.


 
Is that not the most maddening thing? Some people just forget, like you said, I have before, but, it's the same people each time. That is just laziness or rude. You can either not invite them next time or if they always show to each party, just expect them next time. Even if they don't show, it's lunch the next day


----------



## LEFSElover

Fisher's Mom said:


> I think every family must have perpetually late people. I do too but I solved it 4 years ago. I cheerfully let everyone know that the meal would be served at whatever time but not to worry if they were late - I'd save them a plate. And that's exactly what I do. I plate up one plate for the straggler(s) and then proceed as planned. It's unfair to make the prompt folks suffer every time. Plus, I'm not good at holding a meal without having it suffer in some way so it's a double loss.
> 
> Anyway, there were some very surprised folks the first year or two when they arrived to find the table already cleared! I served them each a plate I had made for them and told them to join us in the living room when they were finished. I didn't fuss at anyone for being late but I didn't accommodate anyone's tardiness, either.
> 
> What has happened is that the young folks who were always late are still late, but I don't hold up the meal or birthday cake or whatever for them so things are better. But the older people who were always late aren't anymore. Apparently, they don't like being unable to have seconds or missing the wine with the meal or not being in the pictures, etc. They may not like having to make the effort now but since I never scold and I save them a plate, there really isn't much they can say!



I'm just browsin through this thread reading and silently saying, "yeh, I've had that before or done that before and been there before."
This one hits home though.  

Christmas in our young family, my husband and I and our 3 little kids, were always on the run to everyone's house.  We couldn't possibly make it to everyone's house on time.  They'd all forgotten there was NO extra time for us, schlepping 3 kids on Christmas to get to _*their*_ comfortable house on *our* time and_* our*_ dime.  We'd always get the cold shoulder and get reprimanded, what a great way to enter into a new bout of several hours at a place we probably didn't want to be anyway.  Honestly, I just wanted to often times, turn tail and run right out.

A cousin prepared Easter dinner one day, when the entire group of family members she was waiting on got there very late, also, very as usual, as they were always late..............we sat down to dinner, like all 18 of us and she said, "I'll say this once and once only. I have slaved over dinner all day.  I have cleaned this house, kept it clean, watched my children not to mess it up, gotten tidied up myself, got my husband and his chores taken care of, all in the expectation of you all being here and having a lovely hot scrumptous dinner.  You have no concern or regard for what time you show up.  You couldn't care less what I've been through all day.  This is the last time I'll say this to you because you aren't children and know better.  You're rude and self absorbed.  Please know how much this affected my day.  But it won't continue to ruin it.  Let's enjoy dinner."  She prayed the Norwegian prayer and all was wonderful/lively and forgotten about.  We all had a wonderful day. I take my hat off to her for mustering up the courage I would not have been able to do.


----------



## jpmcgrew

I would have the courage that would make me so mad.What I do is tell people is to come an hour or so before dinner. If you are not in time then tough cookie we are eating when it was planned. When they finally show up I give them a paper plate and show them the microwave or make their plates ahead and tell them glad you finally made it we saved a plate for you. Its just plain rude and selfish to make people wait. Unless it a plane delay or bad snow storm there is no excuse.I see nothing wrong starting dinner when it was planned. After all you work your butt off to this and if they cant appreciate your efforts then that is just too bad. 
When I worked at lodge in the high country we would get groups of 12 at a time (fisherman) well these guys would sit and wait for the 2-3 guys that just would not come in for dinner if the fish were biting.So I would tell them the day they showed up dinner is when you guys set the time and thats when it will be ready if you dont want to come in fine we will save you a plate. That worked out great the ones that showed up could eat and the ones who didn't had a plate waiting and could stay out longer. That way everybody was happy.


----------



## expatgirl

I read somewhere that chronically late people are actually displaying passive nonagressive tendencies.  Well guess what........at my house we'll delay about 20 minutes for you PNAG derriere  and then we're moving on.....and you get whatever is left over when you do  finally grace us with your exalted presence......we do a lot of entertaining and most people are very thoughtful and on time....sometimes on the dot.....but the ones who are chronically late are just plain rude and I've come to not get bothered by them...how about the ones who show up at your parties with their ears glued to their cell phones and take calls all night long........you feel like your dinner get-togethers are interfering with their busy lives......oh well I've been set off.......


----------



## LEFSElover

we were asked to dinner by friends.  just hubby and I, no kids yet, they had none either.  they said come over whenever.  it was a saturday, we had stuff to do in the day, yard work etc.  we'd never been to their house either and in those days, yahoomaps.com didn't exist.  we stopped for a bottle of wine for them as a gift, didn't have any at home to give them back then.  when we got there, they were furious.  the wife didn't even talk.  he just said, 'sit down, dinner's ready."  didn't acknowledge the wine or anything.
here's what all the upset was about.
dinner:
*1 cheese stuffed mostacholli [sp?]*

oh no, wait no longer to read anything else.
that was it.
no sauce over the top.
no salad.
no bread.
no drink.
no dessert.
nothing else.

that's what we got heck for not showing up earlier for.
I've made a better meal for our goats.


----------



## csalt

Have I got this wrong? did you say they were *friends ?*

That's not a good way to treat anyone, *especially* your friends.

Isn't it incredible that sometimes we all find it so difficult to love one another   that includes me I regret to say.


----------



## Barbara L

LEFSElover said:


> we were asked to dinner by friends. just hubby and I, no kids yet, they had none either. they said come over whenever. it was a saturday, we had stuff to do in the day, yard work etc. we'd never been to their house either and in those days, yahoomaps.com didn't exist. we stopped for a bottle of wine for them as a gift, didn't have any at home to give them back then. when we got there, they were furious. the wife didn't even talk. he just said, 'sit down, dinner's ready." didn't acknowledge the wine or anything.
> here's what all the upset was about.
> dinner:
> *1 cheese stuffed mostacholli [sp?]*
> 
> oh no, wait no longer to read anything else.
> that was it.
> no sauce over the top.
> no salad.
> no bread.
> no drink.
> no dessert.
> nothing else.
> 
> that's what we got heck for not showing up earlier for.
> I've made a better meal for our goats.


Yikes!  Did they at least provide plates and eating utensils to eat the lone element of dinner?  Or did they expect you to all take a side and just start eating toward the middle?  Did they ever invite you again, and if so did you go?  You must have really felt uncomfortable!

Barbara


----------



## love2"Q"

i would have walked out ..
but thats me ..


----------



## jpmcgrew

Maybe the wife was trying to punish you by being a you know what and kept the rest of the meal hidden. I just cant believe anyone would consider that dinner. If they expected you at a certain time they should have said so.
A lot of people have trouble communicating and expect you to have ESP and when we dont get it they get mad.


----------



## Katie H

Maybe you  were the victim of a "secret" progressive dinner.  The rest of  the dinner was in the "*diner *protection program."


----------



## expatgirl

What time did you guys show up? I have learned not to say "anytime" you get here........really, they don't mean it and we don't say it because people will take you literally if you do say it.........it's a shame that you were served a goat's meal-----your friends should have been more specific if they had expected y'all at a specific time.....shame on them for not being more specific.....as I think that you would have been there at 7pm if they wanted you there at that time.


----------



## krichardson

My problem with being late is a little different. We had a family christmas in Louisville, Kentucky this year (A 3 1/2 hour drive for me). The whole family goes down and is then expected to spend the night and enjoy a breakfast and leave in the afternoon. Well sorry to be selfish but I don't want to spend the night. I think going down and enjoying my family for the day is fine, but spending 2 days is hard for me. I either was out of town or working every weekend in December and wanted one day to myself. My family eventually understood, although I got quite a guilt trip. What I didn't understand was we were to arrive at 3:00, on the dot and that was when dinner was to be served. I had never done this trip before and all I was going on was mapquests estimated arrival time. So I ended up being about 1/2 hour early. Do you know that the hostess did not come out to say hi until 3:00! I thought I was being courteous by making sure that I was not late to the table, I mean it's a 3 1/2 hour drive I was planning for any out of the unplanned things that can go wrong on a drive. Oh well I guess you can't please them all!


----------



## csalt

Maybe in 6 month's time it may seem funny and you'll be able to laugh about it but it's somewhat daunting at the time isn't it.
I hope you have a very Happy New Year and don't even think about the next celebration yet.


----------



## Barbara L

krichardson said:


> What I didn't understand was we were to arrive at 3:00, on the dot and that was when dinner was to be served. I had never done this trip before and all I was going on was mapquests estimated arrival time. So I ended up being about 1/2 hour early. Do you know that the hostess did not come out to say hi until 3:00! I thought I was being courteous by making sure that I was not late to the table, I mean it's a 3 1/2 hour drive I was planning for any out of the unplanned things that can go wrong on a drive. Oh well I guess you can't please them all!


Arriving half an hour before the meal is served is perfectly reasonable as far as I'm concerned.  It gives everyone time to greet each other and freshen up a little before the meal.  She was being very rude IMHO.

Barbara


----------



## jpmcgrew

If that happened to me I would not go back again.I dont have a desire to feel on edge because of another person. Lets face it some people are control freaks and I just wont have any part of it.You said you you wanted a day to your self well then take it no big deal I do it all the time. People will get mad but they get over it. There is nothing wrong with taking time for your self its not being selfish its just that you need some down time for your self.


----------



## CharlieD

We bought new CNC machine, the company, and the rigger was supposed to be here to deliver it at 9 AM. He's still not here. The electrician and technician are schedule to come at 2 and 3 for the install, grrrrrrrrr. Why can't people keep the schedule? If I even suspect that I cannot make it on time, or maybe I will not make it on time I never make plans.


----------



## CharlieD

To add to complains about Moms. Thank G-d they are alive and we can complain about them. I too have complained about my mom. My BD is coming up, so she called me and told me that they are coming. Ok, if it was just her fine I do not have to do anything special, but she is coming with my father, I already have strained relation ship with him, so I cannot do anything to upset him more, neither do I want to upset him. But that means that I have to make full diner. We are leaving early Friday and not coming back till about 7 PM Saturday. When am I supposed to make diner? I work late every day till about 8 PM, when I come home I am not in the mood to cook anything. I told her as much but she insisted on coming. Oh G-d please let her be alive and well until 120 so she can drive me crazy, and so I can complain on this board till then.


----------



## Barb L.

CharlieD, since it is Your BD, ask your Mom what she is cooking for you ! !


----------



## pdswife

Or... make her take you out to dinner.


----------



## krichardson

Thank you all for your support! It's nice to be reminded that I may not be as selfish as others would like to think I am. Also with that family I'm so far off of everybody's age I feel uncomfortable. I'm 27, the closest people in age to me are either under 16 or over 45, so maybe I just don't fit in that well anyways.


----------



## Katie H

Well, crap and a half!!!!

Buck and I went down to our shop in town to open it this morning.  Parked in the back as usual.  I was out of the car first and went to the door to wait for Buck to unlock the door.  Unfortunately I didn't have to worry about using anyone's key.  I tapped the door with my index finger and it swung wide open.  There's a deadbolt lock that is always locked when we're not there.  The deadbolt was still thrown and the strike plate from the door jam was on the floor in the entry of the back of the shop.  We'd been broken into.

I entered the shop to find our shop cat, Julie, anxious to see us.  Someone had clearly upset Julie.  Guess we could figure out who.

Strangely, all of Buck's expensive power tools and hand tools were still where they should've been.  All my equipment, sewing machines, etc. were where they should've been in my workspace, too.  The only thing that looked like it had been disturbed was a large cardboard box sitting on a chair in the front showroom.  The front door was undisturbed.

We immediately tried to call the police only to discover that the phone lines had been cut, so Buck drove down to city hall to report the incident to the police chief and the mayor and to call the phone company.

It's been several hours and we've since learned that 4 or 5 other businesses/buildings were also broken into sometime last night.  What a mess!

The police have already taken pictures and made a report, Buck's repairing the door frame and is waiting for the phone company to repair the phone lines.  As a matter of fact, as I am typing this, I received a call from the phone company asking for information about the business location.

We're on our way to getting back to normal.  However, I'm uneasy about entering a weekend when we'll be away from the shop for a couple of days.  I think I might just have to check in a couple of times before Monday.  Julie was so upset, he threw up this morning.  This just sucks!


----------



## krichardson

Sorry to hear about your unfortunate incident Katie E. Hopefully the police will step up observation over your store this weekend. It's weird that they didn't take anything, but I'm glad that most of your stuff is still there and unharmed. Hope your day gets better!


----------



## expatgirl

Don't you just feel violated???  What a bummer!!!  Do any of your adjacent businesses own video cameras?? If they do, maybe the criminal activity was caught on  their tapes or at least suspicious-looking activities.  You might want to consider installing a vc to be on the safe side---I think that some insurance companies give  a break to businesses if they  install one.  I'm so sorry to hear this, Katie...........maybe they were actually scared off by your cat----yeah, how many of our feline friends look like pit bull cats???  Please keep us updated......


----------



## kadesma

Hang in there Katie, I know this feeling well..But, at least you weren't there when they decided to have a look see..Having a break in is scary but being on the receiving end of a gun is worse..I'm thankful you didn't come face to face with those miserable people.
kadesma


----------



## Barbara L

expatgirl said:


> ...maybe they were actually scared off by your cat----yeah, how many of our feline friends look like pit bull cats???


Actually I thought about this--Some cats will actually attack people like that.  Especially if the cat felt cornered.  One of our cats (born outside and distrusting of people) will tear us up if we try to touch her and she feels cornered.

I'm so glad you weren't hurt Katie and Buck.  I'm sorry you had to go through it, but I'm glad nothing seems to have been taken.  At first I wondered if someone was just trying to get in out of the cold or something, but when I read he/she cut the phone lines that didn't make sense.  That makes me wonder if he/she had longer ranging plans but was just scared off.  Please be watchful for anything in the future, but also don't let this incident consume you with fear.  I'm thankful you are both okay.

Barbara


----------



## Katie H

Barbara L said:


> Actually I thought about this--Some cats will actually attack people like that.  Especially if the cat felt cornered.  One of our cats (born outside and distrusting of people) will tear us up if we try to touch her and she feels cornered.
> 
> But when I read he/she cut the phone lines that didn't make sense.  That makes me wonder if he/she had longer ranging plans but was just scared off.
> Barbara



I don't think Julie felt cornered, just threatened.  Julie's a VERY social kitty, but not accustomed to being interrupted in the middle of the night.  I think he found a place to hide.

The phone lines were fixed about an hour ago.  We're surmising that the bad guys might have thought we had a security system and messing with the phone lines would disable it.

No, expat.  No security cameras anywhere in the businesses so no videotape record of what happened.

The police department and sheriff's department have their hands full with the courthouse arson investigation.  All of a sudden our quiet little community is not so quiet.


----------



## expatgirl

So sorry to hear.........glad that so far nothing was stolen...........and Julie is fine.......


----------



## Kristenskats

Speaking of pitbull cats - The week after leaving the military, I hired a packing crew to ship my belongings out of state.  An appropriately tall and muscular man stepped into my living room - only to jump back and let out a small shriek at the site of my eighteen pound tomcat.  "Truly he is affectionate", I assured him.  My belongings were packed in a jiffy.

Didn't mean to stray off the venting topic though.  Glad to hear you and your kitty are safe, if a bit ruffled.


----------



## expatgirl

well, I guess I did own a semi-pit bull cat named Liono after one of the powerful "ThunderCats" characters in the 80"s  cartoons-----we were very respective of his "likes and dislikes"--all the neighbhorhood kids knew to back off if he swished his tail and his ears drew back but he had so many other great qualities that few disliked him....I never knew what a terror he was to dogs  and how protective of our yard until I observed a neighbor picking up her Scottie after seeing Liono lurking in the bushes and overheard her soothingly purr to "our pit bull cat" --- "nice, Kitty,kitty...nice kitty, kitty.."  that's when I made her acquaintance and  was told that Liono literally would attack  her dog for rounding the corner of our property....he probably would have made good watch cat............


----------



## csalt

Katie E  so glad you are both safe and that not too much harm was done.
Keep your chin up.


----------



## pdswife

Glad you're both safe ( julie too) that's the important thing!!
Sometimes people are so darn mean....   sorry this happened to you.


----------



## Callisto in NC

Hey ~ Katie, just got in here today, glad you and the shop are okay.  Sorry that happened to you.


----------



## Barbara L

I am SO mad--at myself.  Last weekend James went to the grocery store and got a few things, including a few packages of meat.  I put the bags all down on the kitchen floor, then started putting everything away.  At least I thought I put everything away.  

This afternoon I was walking through the kitchen and noticed a brown puddle on the floor.  I thought Cubbie had taken my almost empty bottle of Diet Pepsi (he likes to chew 2-liter bottles) and chewed it and spilled the pop on the floor.  I noticed a bag sitting in the puddle, kind of behind a plastic bin by the microwave cart.  It was a ham.  It wasn't a really big one, but it wasn't really small either.  I can't believe that I never noticed it until today!  I said it was a ham--I didn't really look at it close enough because by now it was pretty disgusting, but it was ham-shaped and had a bone.  I could just kick myself!  I'm also very surprised that neither Cubbie nor the cat (or the neighbor's dog who comes in and makes himself at home) tore into it.

Barbara


----------



## CharlieD

Gosh kati, I am so sorry. Darn people ...


----------



## texasgirl

Wow, Katie, that is a horrible feeling. I'm thankful that you or Buck were not there and that Julie is okay physically anyway. Emotionally, he may have to have lots of love to help him.


----------



## Katie H

It's a really crappy feeling to know someone's been in your "space" and rummaged through your stuff.  Very unsettling feeling.

I woke up in the middle of the night after the break-in and had the feeling that the shop was going to be broken into again.  Whoever did it on Friday didn't take anything, that we know of at this point.  All I could think of at 3 a.m. was that the burglars had seen what was in the shop and could come back to clean us out.

When he got up Saturday morning, I asked Buck to go to the shop and check on it and Julie.  He did and phoned me at the house to report that everything was in order and the shop was secure.

Thanks to everyone for your comments and concern.  Buck and I appreciate your support.


----------



## expatgirl

Please, Katie E., if you haven't already do install some surveillance cameras if you can afford it--talk to your insurance companies--they may give you a discount--then you will have peace of mind.......I'm so sorry for the ordeal that you and Buck have gone thru and my prayers and best wishes are for y'all


----------



## CharlieD

Also Sam's club has some cameras pretty inexpensive.


----------



## Barb L.

So sorry this has happened to you and Buck.  Is your place pretty well lit in or outside?  Hope it never happens again - it is frightening !  Especially when they mess with your secure feelings !


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Katie and Buck, I'm so sorry about your break-in. It would almost have been less troubling if they had stolen stuff because it would have been easier to put it behind you. But it's a very creepy feeling to wonder what the heck they had in mind when they broke in. I think you're probably right about them being there to steal but something scared them off. Still, the idea that some stranger broke in and wandered around your space is really crappy.

BTW, some lights and even alarms on motion detectors are very easy to set up yourselves and very inexpensive. Might give you some peace of mind.


----------



## miniman

We once had a similiar experience, when we went out to the car one morning and found the lock missing as I tried to put the key in to open the door. That was all that had happened, no apparent attempt to take the car, the radio was still there. Creepy!


----------



## buckytom

sorry to hear it k.t.e.

ya know, dead bolts are useless unless they go into a steel frame built into a door. it doesn't take much effort to kick in a door no matter how many locks there are, if they go into a wooden frame. it's just about the same thing as being able to break a 2 x 4.

and yeah, they probably figured that if you had a cheap security system, it would work through a phone line to the police or a monitoring station. most systems don't work that way, so i doubt they were pros.

i also doubt that they were just casing the place for a return visit. that's very risky. i'm guessing they were scared away, or were looking for something else that they thought you had in the shop.


----------



## Bilby

How terrible for you!  Whenever I go out, the first thing I do as I pull into my driveway is to look to see if my alarm is flashing.  My concern is less about the material items (I really don't have much to steal - I've met crims with much better stuff than I'll ever own!!!) but about my cats safety.  Glad everything is okay for all.


----------



## texasgirl

Ok, gotta vent for a minute. The depression is getting to me.
Sons car is out and we still had to pay $500 deductible. My insurance denied the other guys claim. Seems the damage is to the MIDDLE of the grill and pushed to the drivers side. Agent said that only way that can happen after the investigation is that he was in a turn and son hit him, therfore, the other guys fault. They are going after the other insurance company. Now, younger son up and quit his job and is sitting there with no food, no heat{out of propane} and a truck payment due, a truck that is in MY name. He is actually behind from December. I am at a loss at what is going on with him. I have not slept and cried until no more tears. My husband is livid with him and won't even talk to him, much less help any. He doesn't know about the truck payment yet. If he did, he would take the truck and then how would he be able to get a job to fix this mess? He has overdrafted at the bank because he doesn't use anything but his bank card and I got a statement from his bank, yes, I opened it, he owes the bank over $600!! I don't have the money to pay for that stupid truck. We already had to pay the insurance since it's on our policy. We have property taxes due and we can't afford to help him right now, not that DH would anyway. He said that son isn't welcome in his house right now. I want  to strangel dh. I told him that he can't disown his son for being stupid, he said "watch me" AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH


----------



## Alix

Texasgirl, wow. January came in with a vengeance for you this year. Big hugs and prayers to you sweetie. Its got to get better from here.


----------



## pdswife

TG... ya need a vacation from this stress!!!!
I know how you feel... my son owes money to EVERYBODY!
He has a great job (money wise anyway, hours suck) he makes lots more than
I do but.. he plays instead of PAYS!  I'm really angry and worried about him.  I'd help him out but that won't teach him anything, he'd just do it again.  It's hard to watch them suffer but, they have to learn!!!   

Good luck!


----------



## babetoo

texasgirl said:


> Ok, gotta vent for a minute. The depression is getting to me.
> Sons car is out and we still had to pay $500 deductible. My insurance denied the other guys claim. Seems the damage is to the MIDDLE of the grill and pushed to the drivers side. Agent said that only way that can happen after the investigation is that he was in a turn and son hit him, therfore, the other guys fault. They are going after the other insurance company. Now, younger son up and quit his job and is sitting there with no food, no heat{out of propane} and a truck payment due, a truck that is in MY name. He is actually behind from December. I am at a loss at what is going on with him. I have not slept and cried until no more tears. My husband is livid with him and won't even talk to him, much less help any. He doesn't know about the truck payment yet. If he did, he would take the truck and then how would he be able to get a job to fix this mess? He has overdrafted at the bank because he doesn't use anything but his bank card and I got a statement from his bank, yes, I opened it, he owes the bank over $600!! I don't have the money to pay for that stupid truck. We already had to pay the insurance since it's on our policy. We have property taxes due and we can't afford to help him right now, not that DH would anyway. He said that son isn't welcome in his house right now. I want to strangel dh. I told him that he can't disown his son for being stupid, he said "watch me" AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH


 

how old is son?  i would take care of any mess that involves you. then let him sink or swim. 

have 25 year old granddaughter that is deeply in debt. her mother gave her a credit card for er. and she spent it up to over 6000 dollars, on living expenses for her and boyfriend. this is not the first time in trouble and has been bailed out many times. there is a time they will just have to do it. 

currently my son has a son, his wife, and prmie baby at his house, same type of deal. and harder to ignore because of baby's health and well being. 

it is sad that the twenty somethings got caught up in the credit games. do not enable him further. 

he does know better. 

babetoo


----------



## mikki

TG I'd take control of the truck anyway set the amount of time he can have the truck to look for a job,when he gets a job and gets the payments up to snuff he can have full use of the truck.  you could probably call the bank and set up some kind of arrangement for the past due amount.  As for the rest of the things get them in his name as soon as possible. If he's acting like a child treat him like one and see how he likes it. Try to contact all the places he owes money to and see if something can be worked out. You didn't say how old or if he lives at home,but if he's at home take more of his freedom away, give cerfew,make him do chores around the house,and keep track of how much your spending to get him out of the mess, tell him he will be responsible for paying you back and then stick to it.It will be alot of responsibility on you for awhile,but with the stuff in your name you can't let it take you down too.Good Luck I know how hard it is to deal with someone who doesn't know the value of money. Been taking care of my Dads bills for 7 years because he almost lost his house.


----------



## expatgirl

So sorry that you're enduring so much stress and depression, Texasgirl.  Do call the banks and truck company and talk to them immediately about your situation.  Many will be willing to work something  out as long as some sort of payment schedule is set up and followed  or better yet force your sons to do it while you are on hand.  If there's anything that has been bought and can be returned make him do that as well.  Give your youngest an ultimatum----he has to find a job whether it's for mimimum pay or not or boot him out. Once irresponsible kids get into the habit of not working and earning their keep and knowing that there is always good ol' Mom to help them out you've got a perpetual albatross around your neck.  You need your own peace of mind and sanity to keep up with your own bills much less trying to pay off your  abled childrens'.  This stress isn't good for either you or your husband esp. when you can't afford to pay for these extra charges.  Here's hoping that everyone will be willing to work with you so that you can get peace  of mind back.


----------



## texasgirl

Son is 20 years old. The thing is, my youngest son has always been the responsible one. This has been a very big surprise for us. He has always paid his bills and been very good about keeping up with everything. No, he does not live at home, he lives with a friend in a place that belongs to the friends parents. They are being really good with him about it. He is daily going looking for jobs, not sitting at home doing nothing. He has sent out his resumes and gone to the temp services too. This has been a lapse in judgement that he has to learn from. I already paid the late payment and he has talked with the bank to let them know that he will get them paid as soon as he gets a job. They are going to set up a payment plan with him. And the card has been cut up. I have actually done very little for him. We loaned him a little oil heater and I have gone and bought him some food that is mostly frozen pizzas and other things that are very cheap. I think I spent $20 on food for him in the last 2 weeks, that's it. He is taking ice cold showers without complaining and wearing his clothes more than once. I let him come and wash a load Tuesday. He is sincerely remorseful for the trouble he has caused. I told him that if he screws me over again, I will be done with any help for him, not even a sandwich. He was a little surprised and I told him that I tired of bailing them out and it's time for them to grow up. I was 16 when I had my first son and if I had been that way, they probably wouldn't have been alive now from neglect. They don't know what hard is and I'm tired of being put in the middle of them and dh. I'm not doing it anymore. If I see that it is going to effect their health, I will help, but, nothing more.


----------



## CharlieD

I hope things are going to turn for the better very-very soon.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

It sure is hard watching your adult kids make mistakes and get into messes. Especially when it puts you at odds with your husband. I personally _hated_ letting my kids deal with the consequences of some of the bad choices they have made but I know in my head that it's the only way to turn a mess into a learning experience. Still, it's painful knowing your son is taking cold showers, etc. Just remember the tough things you made it through. He's from the same stock and he'll make it through, too. Have some faith in the things you taught him growing up. Even though it may look like he didn't "get it", he did and he'll do the right thing if you are able to stand back and let him. Good luck, girlfriend!


----------



## texasgirl

Thanks guys. I'm sure it will get better soon.


----------



## expatgirl

*Venting*

I have a vent that really affected me yesterday.  My 21 year old daughter and I were in a Barnes and Noble yesterday and I witnessed  a young mother whacking her 1 year old twins ---two stroller assembly in a little nook near the magazines---I was searching for some beading magazines for a friend and could not but help observe that everytime these little guys reached out of the stroller for attention (which all 18 monthers do)  she'd come straight down and  whack them  hard on the hands and arms---not a little spank on the hands but a hard whack--they'd cry and lay back down again because she told them to and she'd continue to read her book on a bench in a recessed nook not visible by anyone unless you happened to be in that area....certainly not in sight of the front desk and there were few people there.....then she got some call from a church friend and said "Oh, yes, we need to do whatever the pastor says..... then one of the children would lean out of the stroller (that's how old I knew  they were and she'd smack them down again) and continued her "christian" conversation about their planned  get together for a bunch of people---could not help overhearing  as she was right next to me and seeing her whack her kids to settle back down in their stroller.  I think that she knew that I was watching her and ---I have pretty obvious body language----and yet she continued to whack them in public---now mind you--- back when my kids were growing up they ever so often did get a pop on the bottom or a swat on the hand and an authoritative "No" but it wasn't often and I certainly never made them cry the way these babies were.  She really hit them hard and several times.  I was so upset that I had to leave ( I couldn't help but think of the Baby Grace case)------I really wanted to say something but she looked mean, sounded low class on the phone,  and confrontational---so I told a grandmotherly clerk when I checked out  what I had observed  as the lady was still there and she immediately pushed a button so I'm hoping that it was some store  security witness that would have been sent over to observe for themselves.  All I could think of was if she was willing to hit her kids in public in front of a disapproving stranger how did she treat them at home??  I'd like to say the rant is over but it's not--I'm still upset ...........


----------



## Fisher's Mom

expatgirl said:


> I really wanted to say something but she looked mean, sounded low class on the phone,  and confrontational---so I told a grandmotherly clerk when I checked out  what I had observed  as the lady was still there and she immediately pushed a button so I'm hoping that it was some store  security witness that would have been sent over to observe for themselves.  All I could think of was if she was willing to hit her kids in public in front of a disapproving stranger how did she treat them at home??  I'd like to say the rant is over but it's not--I'm still upset ...........


I've seen this a couple of times, too, and I never know what to do. Like you, I wonder if I say something to the parent, will they take it out on the child later at home? And will it be even worse? I was at a store in the Outlet Mall once and like you, I went to a cashier and told her. She looked really upset, too, but I don't think there was much they could do. And unfortunately in Texas, people seem to be able to get away with all sorts of abuse of children without any penalties. I love Texas but we need to do something about how we protect children here.


----------



## SierraCook

I have been without my oven for over a week.  The local appliance repairman came and looked at it a week ago last Tuesday.  I was under the assumption that he was going to order the part.  I was away from home last week at training and did not call him until today.  He had not ordered the part.  So, stil no oven!!  It is amazing how much you miss an appliance when it is not functioning.  This means: no cookies, no casseroles, no desserts, no muffins, etc!!  Luckily, I have lots of recipes that cook on the stove or in the crockpot for dinner.


----------



## texasgirl

Fisher's Mom said:


> I've seen this a couple of times, too, and I never know what to do. Like you, I wonder if I say something to the parent, will they take it out on the child later at home? And will it be even worse? I was at a store in the Outlet Mall once and like you, I went to a cashier and told her. She looked really upset, too, but I don't think there was much they could do. And unfortunately in Texas, people seem to be able to get away with all sorts of abuse of children without any penalties. I love Texas but we need to do something about how we protect children here.


 

Your right, too many get away with too much. That's why it's worse every year!! What is sad are the stories we hear of that the FOSTER parents that are suppose to take care of them because they were abused at home, are abusing them too. These poor kids have no protection.


----------



## expatgirl

I'm sorry--I've been involved with getting my daughter off to college......Yeah, I agree totally TexasGirl, it was so unsettling to see this mother smack her babies around........I wished that I had had the nerve to go up to her and do something but like you  I'd be afraid that she'd take it out on them later and she looked menacing...........it's not right and shouldn't be allowed and immediately addressed if it occurs in a public place---you don't see parents in Europe or K.  smacking their kids around and there is a reason


----------



## suziquzie

SierraCook said:


> I have been without my oven for over a week. The local appliance repairman came and looked at it a week ago last Tuesday. I was under the assumption that he was going to order the part. I was away from home last week at training and did not call him until today. He had not ordered the part. So, stil no oven!! It is amazing how much you miss an appliance when it is not functioning. This means: no cookies, no casseroles, no desserts, no muffins, etc!! Luckily, I have lots of recipes that cook on the stove or in the crockpot for dinner.


 
I had the same problem getting into cookie baking season! No oven is a bad deal! 
I did find though that if you are willing to shovel your way to the grill (I think you had a little snow) it can be used to get an emergency casserole done just fine!


----------



## babetoo

*scream out loud*

just spent an hour waiting in the wind, cold and rain for a taxi.  i used to take them a lot.(i don't drive, never have)  the service got very bad. so i took steps so i wouldn't have to take them. 

ie food shop on line, presp. delievered , etc. 

needed a hair cut badly so made an appointment for today. i have a friend that usually i go with. she hates to drive in rain so i planned to take a cab.  

they ofter credit card service, had no cash so used it to go to shop. driver was really a pill about my usuing the card. says he has to pay 6%. in any case he chose the job. so not my problem. 

got hair cut, did a bit of shopping and called a cab to come home. would not give me an epa. waited half an hour and called back. asap i was told. waited another half an hour, meantime it got colder and windy and started to rain. 

lady that went in store, saw me when she came out and offered me a ride. i took it. usually when i got a ride would call cab company and tell them. i was so mad i thought to heck with them. when i got home called and complained. usual garbarge. we apologize .

there i feel better what a good thread. lol
babe


----------



## texasgirl

I hate that you sat out there that long in the cold and rain!! Is it an individual company or a company big enough you can get to the corporate office?
I'm so glad that someone got you home!!


----------



## pacanis

OK..... what the ####!

My plans to purchase a tv at circuit city fell through Sunday, so I ordered it at Amazon instead.  They always get stuff to me in a couple days.
I saw where it had left the city 5 hours east of me and was taken to a city 2 hour west of me Monday.  There it sat..... or so the tracking information said.  So I called Amazon.  I'm not going to get into how many people I talked to and the "language" barrier encountered, but I finally had a phone number of the trucking depot the tv was supposed to be at..... back close to where it was originally shipped from!  They didn't have any record of it. So they gave me Cleveland's depot number, where it supposedly has been sitting for three days.  Nope.  No record.... wait a minute...... here you go, we haven't even picked up the TV from Amazon yet. WHAT?!

So I called Amazon again. Yes, it's in stock.  No, we don't know why it hasn't shipped yet, but you are scheduled to get it next week.  I know, I said.... that's when I'm scheduled to receive the other items I ordered with the tv and I received those a couple days ago.....

Now, Amazon has always gotten things to me in 2-3 days. It amazes me sometimes, so why now? Why this?  I was really lookiing forward to having it for the Superbowl and the Dish guy is supposed to be here today to hook up my digital programing. Argggh.  If I didn't have him come today, it would be next week sometime and I DID NOT want my tv here without have digital....

OK, better now  maybe....


----------



## texasgirl

pacanis said:


> OK..... what the ####!
> 
> My plans to purchase a tv at circuit city fell through Sunday, so I ordered it at Amazon instead. They always get stuff to me in a couple days.
> I saw where it had left the city 5 hours east of me and was taken to a city 2 hour west of me Monday. There it sat..... or so the tracking information said. So I called Amazon. I'm not going to get into how many people I talked to and the "language" barrier encountered, but I finally had a phone number of the trucking depot the tv was supposed to be at..... back close to where it was originally shipped from! They didn't have any record of it. So they gave me Cleveland's depot number, where it supposedly has been sitting for three days. Nope. No record.... wait a minute...... here you go, we haven't even picked up the TV from Amazon yet. WHAT?!
> 
> So I called Amazon again. Yes, it's in stock. No, we don't know why it hasn't shipped yet, but you are scheduled to get it next week. I know, I said.... that's when I'm scheduled to receive the other items I ordered with the tv and I received those a couple days ago.....
> 
> Now, Amazon has always gotten things to me in 2-3 days. It amazes me sometimes, so why now? Why this? I was really lookiing forward to having it for the Superbowl and the Dish guy is supposed to be here today to hook up my digital programing. Argggh. If I didn't have him come today, it would be next week sometime and I DID NOT want my tv here without have digital....
> 
> OK, better now  maybe....


 
OH NO!!
That is horrible. Amazon is usually very good about getting it there. If it is late getting there, you might put enough of a gripe for them to expedite that package to you.


----------



## pacanis

They forwarded my "concern" to some specialty dept they have.  I got an email back saying they were sorry, but my order got misplaced.  I should have the TV by the sixth.... oh well.  All the stuff I've gotten through them and I never had an order misplaced. Why this one?

Thanks for listening.


----------



## Barbara L

pacanis said:


> ...Why this one?...


Because it is _*THE*_ one.  LOL  Kind of like Murphy's Law, the one you really count on is the one that doesn't come through.

Barbara


----------



## Maverick2272

Barbara L said:


> Because it is _*THE*_ one.  LOL  Kind of like Murphy's Law, the one you really count on is the one that doesn't come through.
> 
> Barbara



Lord aint that the truth!

Its like they have ESP and know just when to mess things up for maximum frustration!


----------



## Barbara L

It didn't take ESP.  I can see it now.  The woman taking the order just broke up with her boyfriend of 7 years because all he ever did was watch sports on TV and never paid any attention to her.  An order comes in from pacanis, right before Super Bowl Sunday.  Hmmmm, a man, Super Bowl, huge TV.  "Huh-uh, not gonna happen," says she.  And the rest is history!

Barbara


----------



## Maverick2272




----------



## pacanis

Barbara L said:


> It didn't take ESP. I can see it now. The woman taking the order just broke up with her boyfriend of 7 years because all he ever did was watch sports on TV and never paid any attention to her. An order comes in from pacanis, right before Super Bowl Sunday. Hmmmm, a man, Super Bowl, huge TV. "Huh-uh, not gonna happen," says she. And the rest is history!
> 
> Barbara


 
 That's too much... and probably too close to the truth


----------



## suziquzie

Amazon, I've noticed, has been getting worse and worse with thier shipping in the last year or so. I've seen things one day on my shipping record listed as in the distribution center 5 miles away. The next day it's in Topeka. 
It used to show at the door almost to the minute of the tracking history!


----------



## texasgirl

wanna drag, wanna drag, wanna drag, wanna drag.

okay


----------



## kadesma

How do you tell someone to back off ? I'm training to do my dialysis at home, DH goes with me..When my kidneys first failed in september, he and my son were the ones who saved my life by forcing me to go to the hospital..Since then, my DH, is forever looking over my shoulder..That is okay, but it is getting to be a headache..The nurses have given me a large binder with all kinds of info, plus we do quizes and then go over them..DH, has begun to nag me to give him the finished tests so HE can correct them..before we turn them in..I did this once and he erased my answers and said I was wrong and that they wouldn't let me do this at home and bleat and blatt.. I proved to him my answers were correct and that from now on he could not see the tests...I since have refused to give him the tests and he pouts and sniffs and steps on his lip every time we have to go to the center..This is making me resentful and his constant, reminders that he saved me are wearing thin here..How to tell him to back off? Or do I just suck it up and try not to let it bother me.. I'm having a hard time with all this and the fact that I have a zillion people telling me what to do, when to do it and that I feel I don't own me anymore..Give me the straight scoop, I'm getting a tough hide now

kadesma


----------



## Barbara L

I think he is doing it for two reasons: He loves you and is trying to be helpful, and he is worried about losing you. HOWEVER, he is going to have to learn that what he is doing, no matter how good his intentions are, is not helping you at all and is actually having an opposite effect on you. Could you have your doctor talk to him about it? I'm sure the doctor has seen this kind of thing before.

Barbara


----------



## Barbara L

Oh yeah, as for the other zillion people--Get a few cans of Silly String, and when they start up, just give them a blast (they won't know that you are pretending it is a machine gun!).  

Barbara


----------



## kadesma

Barbara L said:


> Oh yeah, as for the other zillion people--Get a few cans of Silly String, and when they start up, just give them a blast (they won't know that you are pretending it is a machine gun!).
> 
> Barbara


Thanks I need to laugh..It feels so good..
kades


----------



## pacanis

Barbara L said:


> I think he is doing it for two reasons: He loves you and is trying to be helpful, and he is worried about losing you. ......
> Barbara


 
I think you hit the nail on the head, Barbara.  You're pretty good at that I've noticed 
I watched my father do the same thing with my mother last year.  She didn't need to be hearing his griping about her not eating well, but he was afraid of losing her and thought he was doing her good.  It really showed how attached he was to her where he had never shown that side of him before.

I don't know kadesma.... maybe give him a please stop, but realize he may not be able to.


----------



## kadesma

pacanis said:


> I think you hit the nail on the head, Barbara.  You're pretty good at that I've noticed
> I watched my father do the same thing with my mother last year.  She didn't need to be hearing his griping about her not eating well, but he was afraid of losing her and thought he was doing her good.  It really showed how attached he was to her where he had never shown that side of him before.
> 
> I don't know kadesma.... maybe give him a please stop, but realize he may not be able to.


Pacanis,
Barb, knows me almost better than I know myself I know he loves me after all these years together..It's just frustrating being pulled back and forth by so many people. I'll try asking that he just let me do this and that I'll ask him if I need help and we shall see if it helps..Thanks pacanis..
kadesma


----------



## texasgirl

I agree with Barbara. Talk to your doctor. You should talk to someone with G in the room with you so that he knows how it is really affecting you. He loves you, but, he needs to know when to let you do things too so that your not miserable. Love you lady!!


----------



## Alix

If you give him a really big hug and tell him you love him for being such a wonderful husband, and then tell him you need to learn this stuff WITHOUT him being "helpful" so that you can be healthy on your own would that help?

If not, I recommend the tantrum. Have a knock down, no holds barred hissy fit. I'd be willing to bet he hasn't seen you do THAT very often. LOL. Hugs kadesma, much love and prayers for peace are coming your way.


----------



## kadesma

Alix said:


> If you give him a really big hug and tell him you love him for being such a wonderful husband, and then tell him you need to learn this stuff WITHOUT him being "helpful" so that you can be healthy on your own would that help?
> 
> If not, I recommend the tantrum. Have a knock down, no holds barred hissy fit. I'd be willing to bet he hasn't seen you do THAT very often. LOL. Hugs kadesma, much love and prayers for peace are coming your way.


Great idea Alix and thanks...I'll give it a try..will hold the hissy for the time being...Thanks for the hugs they feel so good...The prayers do bring peace.
kades


----------



## kadesma

texasgirl said:


> I agree with Barbara. Talk to your doctor. You should talk to someone with G in the room with you so that he knows how it is really affecting you. He loves you, but, he needs to know when to let you do things too so that your not miserable. Love you lady!!


Love you too my friend..Thank you, I'll sit with him tonight and we will talk calmly and quietly..Then if that doesn't do the trick, I'll have a hissy fit as Alix suggested J/K it will work out...Just getting it off my chest here with friends to ground me and give me a hug or two has already helped.
kades


----------



## texasgirl

OMG, I am really having a hard time today with the smoking!! I am 2 days 4 hours 41 minutes smoke free, but, I'm having the withdrawls so bad today, hurts.

Addon: Wow, I JUST found out from my sister that she hasn't had a drink in a month!! ON HER OWN!!
and let me tell you, she drank right at noon until she went to bed everyday, except work days and had one as soon as she stepped into the door. I am so proud of her!! If she can do that, I can do this!!!


----------



## miniman

texasgirl

Just remember we are all standing alongside you.

Ray


----------



## texasgirl

Thank you. I am really trying not to even use the commit also. I want to be able to be completely nicotine free.


----------



## Katie H

Wow, texasgirl, sounds like it's time to get those knitting needles flyin'.

I remembered the title of the knitting books I was trying to think of a couple days ago.

It's a series of 3 books by Sally Melville and they are wonderful for someone who is a beginner.

The first one is _The Knitting Experience:  Book 1:  The Knit Stitch_.  The second book is all about the "purl" stitch and the third book is about "color."  All the books are filled with great information/instructions and photos.


----------



## texasgirl

Katie E said:


> Wow, texasgirl, sounds like it's time to get those knitting needles flyin'.
> 
> I remembered the title of the knitting books I was trying to think of a couple days ago.
> 
> It's a series of 3 books by Sally Melville and they are wonderful for someone who is a beginner.
> 
> The first one is _The Knitting Experience: Book 1: The Knit Stitch_. The second book is all about the "purl" stitch and the third book is about "color." All the books are filled with great information/instructions and photos.


 
Great, thank you!!
I had the knitting out yesteday, messed up and ALMOST frogged the whole 72 rows, but, put it down instead and left it alone
I haven't touched it yet. I think I will try it now.


----------



## suziquzie

I agree with Katie, repeat after me.

Knit 1, Purl 2, Knit 1, Purl 2.......

Almost 9 years after quitting and I still have to make my fingers busy and my brain go elsewhere.


----------



## texasgirl

suziquzie said:


> I agree with Katie, repeat after me.
> 
> Knit 1, Purl 2, Knit 1, Purl 2.......
> 
> Almost 9 years after quitting and I still have to make my fingers busy and my brain go elsewhere.


 

I love DC!!! It always makes me feel better. I have figured out, my worst is before 3pm. Weird, I'm still at work, but, not as bad after 3. We'll see how I do tomorrow I always mess up at home. DH drives me nuts though!! LOL


----------



## Barbara L

James actually had a pretty easy time quitting (he said prayer helped), but he said he has found himself kind of wanting one once in awhile since he quit.  He has also had dreams where he was smoking.  

I'm proud of how seriously you are taking this TG.  Continued prayers and good thoughts for your efforts.

Barbara


----------



## texasgirl

Barbara L said:


> James actually had a pretty easy time quitting (he said prayer helped), but he said he has found himself kind of wanting one once in awhile since he quit. He has also had dreams where he was smoking.
> 
> I'm proud of how seriously you are taking this TG. Continued prayers and good thoughts for your efforts.
> 
> Barbara


 
Aww, thank you Barbara!!
2 days, 7 hours, 38 minutes amd 32 seconds.
I started thinking, everything that my mom went through and everything that my niece is going through now and had no choice, I can make this choice and be about 1/4 strong as them.


----------



## kadesma

texasgirl said:


> Aww, thank you Barbara!!
> 2 days, 7 hours, 38 minutes amd 32 seconds.
> I started thinking, everything that my mom went through and everything that my niece is going through now and had no choice, I can make this choice and be about 1/4 strong as them.


Texas, 
you are strong, look how much you've been through with the boys and dh being sick..You've got what it takes..I won't say it is easy, it's not even after 5 months the urge is still there at times..And there are times it's as if someone  gives me a push and I want to smoke, but, I don't keep any around to tempt me and I'm so darn stubborn that I refuse to even think of buying any..So on that note if this ol chick can do this, this young one I'm yakking at can too!!!!
You dig in those heels girl, you've already made me proud of you.
kades


----------



## texasgirl

kadesma said:


> Texas,
> you are strong, look how much you've been through with the boys and dh being sick..You've got what it takes..I won't say it is easy, it's not even after 5 months the urge is still there at times..And there are times it's as if someone gives me a push and I want to smoke, but, I don't keep any around to tempt me and I'm so darn stubborn that I refuse to even think of buying any..So on that note if this ol chick can do this, this young one I'm yakking at can too!!!!
> You dig in those heels girl, you've already made me proud of you.
> kades


 
Aww, thank you!! I won't let anyone or myself down!!


----------



## texasgirl

DH went back to the Gastroenterologist today. He is relapsing and choking on everything again. We were hoping for a new med to try. Basically, the idiot doesn't know what is going on and said there is nothing else that he can do and wants to rerun the manometry to see if it's better or not HELLO!!! We know it is not better!!! That is a $400 test and we don't have it. I have looked online and saw other treatments and he is saying there isn't any. I could not go, had to work or I would have printed all of it outand argued with him. I'm tired, want a cigarette, not going to do it, and I want him better. It is so hard to live like this.


----------



## licia

TG, I hope there is a better solution for your dh soon and you are right: don't give in or you will have to start all over. You are doing great!


----------



## Katie H

Hang in there, darlin'.  You've come too far to lose ground now.  Just hang tough.  You can make it through.   You know that when you need a sounding board and/or shoulder, we are always here.


----------



## Barbara L

Sounds like second opinion time TG.  Is seeing another doctor an option?  I'm praying everything works out.

Barbara


----------



## texasgirl

Katie E said:


> Hang in there, darlin'. You've come too far to lose ground now. Just hang tough. You can make it through. You know that when you need a sounding board and/or shoulder, we are always here.


 
I know, I'm not going to mess it up, not now. Thank you!!



> Sounds like second opinion time TG. Is seeing another doctor an option? I'm praying everything works out.
> 
> Barbara


 
We went after the first few appointments to another to get a 2nd and he told he would have started it out the same. Well, we will go back to the 2nd next time. If we are going to pay for the stupid test anyway, we're going to get another person to do the test too.


----------



## expatgirl

my f-i-l was taught a special way to take pills and swallow food when he had that problem that really helped---do get a second opinion and best wishes for your hubby


----------



## texasgirl

expatgirl said:


> my f-i-l was taught a special way to take pills and swallow food when he had that problem that really helped---do get a second opinion and best wishes for your hubby


Unfortunately, his isn't as easy as that, lord how I wish it were!! That would be so good. The muscles in his throat do not work and never will, so it seems.
We are definately going to find someone else that won't charge us $80 just to say, well, I don't know what else to do.


----------



## LadyCook61

*pet peeves*

one irritant or peeve is my husband saving one tablespoon of food !  Tell me what one can do with a tablespoon of tunafish, or mashed potato , or milk or anything else?  Another one is saving chicken fat from cooked chicken for the dog... need I say , dog likes it but I do not like effect of it , flatulence!  ugh!
Another one is giving the dog left over wet cat food, honestly, is one lousy tablespoon of cat food a waste?  Also affects dog with  big stink!!


----------



## expatgirl

Well, I'd suggest serving DH a week's worth of Tablespoon Delight.  His special dish only for him and then make him load the dishwasher with all the containers or wash them if they need to be done by hand!


----------



## Barbara L

The guy across the street still has not found homes for his dogs (I think they are a pit bull mix).  I love the dogs (almost wish I didn't), but if they don't go soon, I don't know what is going to happen.  The dogs (those two and the neighbor's boxer pup--the same age, but maybe from the same litter) run loose all the time.  They steal things from all the neighbors (trash, clothes, shoes, etc.) and leave it all strewn through our yard.  They have brought various animal bones including a small skull and, last week, a cow skull.  I don't think the boxer starts any of the mischief, but he gets involved since he runs with them.  Late at night Cubbie (our dog) sometimes goes out alone, and sometimes will run and play with them, but now that I know what I found out today, I won't let him out alone until they are gone.  Last week I found a lot of feathers in our yard.  They were a lot bigger than those from the little birds that hang out in our trees, so I was sure the cats didn't kill it.  Today I found the largest of the dogs in our yard with the half-eaten remains of a chicken.  The people behind us have chickens.  The dogs' owner wasn't home, so I left a note on his door letting him know about the chickens.  I'm worried about what will happen when they are full-grown (I think they are around 10 months old--their owner says they were born around October 2006, but there is no way they are that old).  There are no little kids on our road, but their neighbor (the one with the boxer) does have grandkids who visit every weekend.  I also don't like that Cubbie has been getting really aggressive when he plays with them.  The dogs also chase our cats.  

Barbara


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Neighbors*

Sounds like  you have neighbor problem too.  I don't care what it is, when you have to live next door to someone they just don't seem like it is any of your business.  My neighbors are really from the pit of ****.  They are involved in rescue group and she doesn't bathe or care for them the way one should.  She lets the dogs run into my yard and they do their business and take off.  Your dogs sound like more serious.  I would be fearful of those dogs.  People today just seem like they are getting more self centered and could care less what you think.  Not good old days.  Said hello and goodbye and always always treated neighbors like you wanted to be treated.  

I am sorry Barbara L but only thing I suggest is you have to do what you think is right and forget what the others think.  Kind of sad that they kill the guy's chickens.  As long as they don't blame your dog.  What kind you got?  I had to call Animal Control on neighbor in back because his Rotweiler and Dobermann were in my yard trying to get my miniature schnauzer and shih tzu.  Did this so often i called and then the gal from the office tells me I should have rabies tag on my dogs.  What did that have to do with threat of the dogs coming in my yard and trying to get my dogs?  Didn't have rabies tag on them.  what stupid thing to complain about.  Well, better than the dog mauling my dogs.  Neighbors!  You can have all of them.  Bring back the ones that were here when I first moved here.


----------



## Barbara L

You're right ITK, it is a neighbor problem.  He seems like an ok guy (well, he stays to himself when he is at home), but he hasn't done anything about the dogs.  Our dog is a 14-month-old German Shepherd mix (we think half Rottweiler).  Most of the time Cubbie stays in the house with me or is hooked up out in the yard.  

I don't want anything bad to happen to the dogs.  I have even suggested to him that he take them to a local no-kill shelter.  I even offerered to do it.  The dogs are actually really sweet, but I'm afraid they won't be for long if something doesn't happen soon. 

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

I've watched a lot of court shows and you wouldn't believe the number of cases that involved "well my Rottweiler and pitbull never hurt anyone in their lives and it must have been their little dog, child, or cat that provoked them to attack."  Guess what?  The owners lost in every case because these breeds are considered weapons and if they are off the leash the owners are liable for any damages.  I think that you should do what you think is right and not let your emotions rule you.  Killing chickens that have a legal right to be there is a potentially bad thing---because once the dog gets the taste of blood in their mouths they will continue to kill.  Please warn the neighbor who has grandchildren visiting to be with them at all time outdoors with something to ward them off with should they be running and attack (bottle of ammonia water works just fine)  Hope that you get this resolved soon, Barbara........


----------



## Barbara L

Thanks expat,

The guy with the grandkids owns the boxer puppy that runs with them.  The boxer came in a few minutes ago and I could smell that chicken on his breath.  I gave him some dog biscuits to help.  Yuck.  Something will be done soon.  I knew it was going to get worse and now that they have started killing chickens, it will probably get even worse if it goes on.  I want those puppies in a nice home where someone will care about them.  They are absolutely the most lovable dogs you'd ever want to meet.  They deserve better than what will happen if something doesn't change.  

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

You know it's very hard to make decisions when they are so cute and sweet.  We had the sweetest, cutest little puppy when we were about 3,4,5 years old  (and in that order)and we went to visit my grandmother's farm.  Well, Trixie, within 30 minutes of arriving went chasing after my uncle's goose and killed it.  My uncle came over later and took Trixie away in a bucket.  He kept her tied to his front porch under the shade of big oak trees and kept her well fed but she was not going to kill anymore geese or chickens. We all just thought he was being mean---and then later our other cousins told us that he put her down after we left.  Of course I understand now---once they get the taste of blood in their mouths--that's it.  They won't stop killing.  And it may be inbred in the puppies, too.  Maybe, your local Animal Control can help with what to do but I have a feeling you're not going to like what they have to say.  So sorry you have to deal with this.


----------



## LadyCook61

I was trying to cook breakfast, and hubby keeps getting in the way.   I told him to get out of my kitchen.


----------



## LadyCook61

*Frustration*

I've been waiting all day for the big brown truck to deliver my food grinder, I see that truck go to my neighbor's house .  Neighbor got his delivery but I didn't get mine . I went to the web site to track my package and I see it says Emergency not UPS fault It has been bad weather all day but then why did my neighbor get his delivery and not me ???    Weather prediction , more of the same as today, rain ,snow , sleet. Does that mean I have to wait longer ?


----------



## texasgirl

Well, had a company meeting last night. It was okay...UNTIL, I was stabbed in the back by my supposed "friend" and lied to by boss.
My "friend" is the manager at the first location that I worked for and trained me, we are only 1 year and some days apart. We normally get along, but, there were times that she really got on my nerves, calling me at home to switch my day off {day before mine} cause her kid is sick, that happened NUMEROUS times. Other things too, but, that's okay, I got past that. Now, bosses know that I'm lookiing for another job and are trying to keep me by rotating all of us so that we aren't at the same location every day, this "friend" has been talking about this for over a year, well, last night, she said NO, she doesn't want to do that, and she knew the reason for doing this, then, called me out on a project that was suppose to be done, but, could not be done because SHE lost a cd that I had to have to do it. I did not call her out in retaliation, I should have, but, didn't. Come to find out this morning, SHE HAS THE CD!!! And doesn't want the rotation because she wants me to work there instead. WHATEVER!!! I am SO done with this place!!!


----------



## pdswife

Good luck at finding something new QUICKLY!!!


----------



## LadyCook61

I still didn't get my food grinder and it was suppose to be delivered today.


----------



## Barbara L

LadyCook61 said:


> I've been waiting all day for the big brown truck to deliver my food grinder, I see that truck go to my neighbor's house . Neighbor got his delivery but I didn't get mine . I went to the web site to track my package and I see it says Emergency not UPS fault It has been bad weather all day but then why did my neighbor get his delivery and not me ???  Weather prediction , more of the same as today, rain ,snow , sleet. Does that mean I have to wait longer ?


It could be that your package came from a different area than your neighbor's and bad weather _there_ affected your delivery.  Hopefully you will get it soon.  



texasgirl said:


> ...I am SO done with this place!!!


I am praying for you TG that you find a job that you really love.  

Now for my vent--More of a lament than vent though.  I just realized that James will be home for our anniversary this year, since it is on a Friday (March 21), but I will be in California!  I'm happy to be going but sad about that.  

Barbara


----------



## LadyCook61

Barbara L said:


> It could be that your package came from a different area than your neighbor's and bad weather _there_ affected your delivery. Hopefully you will get it soon.
> 
> I don't know, the ups website the package was out for delivery, so it should have arrived. sighs.


----------



## LadyCook61

*starlings*

I do not like Starlings!  They are not the birds I want to see at my bird feeders.


----------



## Barbara L

LadyCook61 said:


> I don't know, the ups website the package was out for delivery, so it should have arrived. sighs.


If it doesn't arrive soon, make sure to keep on them.  Our local UPS guy delivered a vacuum cleaner my mom and dad sent for my birthday to another address (fortunately the people looked me up in the phone book and called and I went and got it).  Also I won a contest that author Lisa Scottoline held (she wanted lawyer jokes for one of her books) and the prize was an autographed copy of her latest (at that time) book, The Vendetta Defense, and paperback copies of all her books that came before that.  It never got here (UPS), and fortuntely she sent another set, which I got.  So stay on them, and also let the company you bought it from know.  UPS insures packages, so it shouldn't be a problem for you to get a new one if the first one is lost.

Barbara


----------



## sparrowgrass

Dear Flu:

Please go away.  It has been two weeks, and this morning, I woke up with a temperature again.

Also, on your way out, please take the snow with you.

Thanks.


----------



## texasgirl

sparrowgrass said:


> Dear Flu:
> 
> Please go away. It has been two weeks, and this morning, I woke up with a temperature again.
> 
> Also, on your way out, please take the snow with you.
> 
> Thanks.


 
Yeah, it seems to hang on longer this year. I found that Zicam kicks it out quicker than others, but, it has to be started as soon as possible, but, you might try it. I hope you get better really soon.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

sparrowgrass said:


> Dear Flu:
> 
> Please go away.  It has been two weeks, and this morning, I woke up with a temperature again.
> 
> Also, on your way out, please take the snow with you.
> 
> Thanks.


Awww Sparrow, I'm sorry this is hanging on so long for you. This has been a bad flu season and has taken so many people by surprise since the flu vaccine wasn't a good match for the virus this year. Lots of my friends got the shot and a month later, the flu, too! Take care of yourself, drink a lot of fluids, rest even more and take long hot baths. lol: That's my standard treatment for flu here!)


----------



## sparrowgrass

Thanks, guys.  I did have my flu shot. 

I think I probably am cooking up some bronchitis/pneumonia right now, a secondary infection after the flu.  I will hit the doc's office on Monday, if not sooner.


----------



## bethzaring

oh yuck sparrowgrass. I hope you feel better soon.

dh feels like he is coming down with something and I am keeping him filled with hot tomato juice and echineacia (sp?) tincture. He really likes the whiskey, er, tincture!


----------



## texasgirl

There is a poor dog running around trying to find somewhere to hide from the storms. ARGH, that make my heart break. I tried to get her/him to come into the storage gate, could hid under one of the RV's or something, but, it was scared of me.


----------



## buckytom

lol, tg. are you sure it's running from the storms?

(woof, hey, stop following me lady!)


----------



## Maverick2272

sparrowgrass said:


> Dear Flu:
> 
> Please go away.  It has been two weeks, and this morning, I woke up with a temperature again.
> 
> Also, on your way out, please take the snow with you.
> 
> Thanks.



I know how you feel. Everybody got flu shots here but me (I can't get em), but we have all been taking turns being sick for the last three months. Any given day someone here is sick. Right now it is my son and youngest daughter, while DW is just recovering from a bad chest cold and horrible coughing.
Meanwhile I have had chest pains for the last three days and it is really getting to be annoying and is slowing me way down on getting things done around the house.


----------



## kadesma

double dang and heck..picked up a new solution to try for pd to help relieve some swelling and it has no sugar so BG's will be great..got it home, got it warmed, the center closed for the weekend, guess what folks, no tubing so i can't use the blasted stuff...Now I have to wait til monday to give it a try, the whole box load was without tubes!!! ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH  am I ticked? nah, I love doing two extra fills and going to bed at 3:00 this morning..it was fun!
kadesma


----------



## texasgirl

OH NO!
I'm so sorry kads!!


----------



## kadesma

I just knew you'd make me feel better..Thanks Stacy..
love ya,
kades


----------



## Fisher's Mom

I'm so sorry, CJ. I guess it's no salt and limited fluids for you this weekend. Call those babies over to help you keep your mind off of it!


----------



## Dina

Sorry Kades.

I'm ticked myself. I've been suffering with allergies for too long now. Watery eyes, headache, pressure on my ears and all that cr-p! On top of it I have racoon eyes from the darkness under my eyes. I feel and look hideous! I've been taking Benadryl at night and Claritin gives me the jitters. I don't know what else to take that can help me and won't cause me to pull my hair out. Sigh.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Dina said:


> I'm ticked myself. I've been suffering with allergies for too long now. Watery eyes, headache, pressure on my ears and all that cr-p! On top of it I have racoon eyes from the darkness under my eyes. I feel and look hideous! I've been taking Benadryl at night and Claritin gives me the jitters. I don't know what else to take that can help me and won't cause me to pull my hair out. Sigh.


Is it mountain cedar, Dina? We've had so much trouble with that in San Antonio this year.


----------



## Dina

It's more pollen and dust than anything else for me. Yesterday I dusted some rugs and I started feeling worse. I told DH I needed a maid to do it all for me to keep me away from dust and he just laughed. Argh...I will have to get my air ducts thoroughly cleaned and get a vacuum cleaner that takes away allergens and dust mites. I will be okay. These symptoms really cause me to be a real whiner.

To top it off I just read this from Good Morning America: " *Antioxidant Fruits and Vegetables: *Grape seed extract, which can be found in vitamin or health food stores, has been shown effective. But in your own refrigerator, apples, bananas and onions have anti-inflammatory properties and help to build up your immune system. 
Some foods, including apples in some people, cross-react with tree pollen and will cause allergy symptoms. Some of those foods include pears, kiwi, cherries, peaches, nectarines, celery, carrots, parsley, peppers and nuts like hazlenuts, walnuts, and almonds."

I will shrivel if I have to stay away from fruit and nuts!!!  ARGH!!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Dina said:


> It's more pollen and dust than anything else for me. Yesterday I dusted some rugs and I started feeling worse. I told DH I needed a maid to do it all for me to keep me away from dust and he just laughed. Argh...I will have to get my air ducts thoroughly cleaned and get a vacuum cleaner that takes away allergens and dust mites.


It's true, Dina. Housework kills.


----------



## kadesma

Dina said:


> Sorry Kades.
> 
> I'm ticked myself. I've been suffering with allergies for too long now. Watery eyes, headache, pressure on my ears and all that cr-p! On top of it I have racoon eyes from the darkness under my eyes. I feel and look hideous! I've been taking Benadryl at night and Claritin gives me the jitters. I don't know what else to take that can help me and won't cause me to pull my hair out. Sigh.


Dina,
hubby asked if your taking Claritin-D if so that can make you jittery..Plain Claritin shouldn't..Most OTC meds have loratadine which causes you to be jittery..
Wish I could be of more help..Does the benadryl help? If so I'd continue with it. the drowsiness will go away after about a week of use. Feel better, allergies are the pits.
kadesma


----------



## kadesma

Fisher's Mom said:


> I'm so sorry, CJ. I guess it's no salt and limited fluids for you this weekend. Call those babies over to help you keep your mind off of it!


I'll be fine, so far no limits on anything..I limit myself on salt, don't need it since I found fresh cracked pepper..use it on almost everything so I've been lucky..no restrictions ..
kades


----------



## Fisher's Mom

I chipped a corner of my front tooth so I have to go to the dentist and I hate it. I have an almost irrational fear of the dentist (and the bill) so I haven't been in a while. That means I'm going to have to have all the stuff fixed that I've been avoiding. Soooo, I'll be MIA on Wednesday while I go to Mexico and get my teeth fixed. (I think 9am is too early to show up drunk so I guess I'll have to do this sober.)


----------



## texasgirl

Fisher's Mom said:


> I chipped a corner of my front tooth so I have to go to the dentist and I hate it. I have an almost irrational fear of the dentist (and the bill) so I haven't been in a while. That means I'm going to have to have all the stuff fixed that I've been avoiding. Soooo, I'll be MIA on Wednesday while I go to Mexico and get my teeth fixed. (I think 9am is too early to show up drunk so I guess I'll have to do this sober.)


 
I don't like dentist either, and yes, 9am is too early


----------



## krichardson

I'm ticked myself. I've been suffering with allergies for too long now. Watery eyes, headache, pressure on my ears and all that cr-p! On top of it I have racoon eyes from the darkness under my eyes. I feel and look hideous! I've been taking Benadryl at night and Claritin gives me the jitters. I don't know what else to take that can help me and won't cause me to pull my hair out. Sigh."
__________________

Dina have you tried Zyrtec? It used to be prescription but it is now over the counter. I had a full body rash last year that was so itchy I cried every night. literally. I tried a million things and zyrtec worked like a miracle drug. Check it out it is for all types of allergies.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

texasgirl said:


> I don't like dentist either, and yes, 9am is too early


Really, I don't even drink but since one of my sons is going with me (to make sure I actually go in), I would probably do it if I thought I could get away with it! I don't know what it is but just thinking about dental work makes me get dizzy and sweaty.


----------



## texasgirl

DH!!! Should be jerk husband not dear!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

texasgirl said:


> DH!!! Should be jerk husband not dear!!


Oooooh no, TG. You can't just tease us like that without providing the details. Spill it!


----------



## pdswife

TG are you having another bad day>???  Hope it gets better SOON!


----------



## texasgirl

It's my fault too, he just made me so angry. I faked a customer coming in or I would have hung up on him. 
Due to all the things going on right now, us,ds's, I am about to overdraft my account for the first time and he doesn't know this, but, asked me how much we have in the bank, I told him that I wasn't sure, although I was. He told me I need to write things down in the check book, a little too obnoxiously, and I do, seriously, but, I ran out of room and can't find another check log, so, I look up my account almost daily and mark on my carbon copies that have cleared and mark on a sheet of paper the debits I have from my card, well, he told me that I keep money like my son and I'm going to put us in debt, just like ds did.
I don't see him doing ANY shopping, paying bills or keeping up with the dang bank account!!
If my sons would get there #$%@ together, I would have some money back in the bank!!! It's partly their fault and I can't say a anything. I guess I need to stop caring, but, I just can't. I have always done without so that they didn't. Now I can't even go to the doctor because of it!!
I'm sorry, you asked, now, don't you wish you hadn't.
When in the H#ll is it going to be my turn.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Oh, Stacy, I'm so sorry. I know how terrible this is. I think money issues and parenting issues are 2 of the things that couples fight about most and you're dealing with both right now.

Guys seem to react so intensely to money problems, I think because they feel like it's their job to see that the family has enough and when things run lean, they feel like failures. Women seem to react intensely over parenting issues because h***, we gave birth to the kids! We feel responsible and yet protective when our kids screw up.

None of that helps you right now except that it might give you a little comfort that you are not the only ones with these issues. Remember that this too shall pass and that we all get by with a little help from our friends.


----------



## babetoo

*ouch*




Fisher's Mom said:


> Really, I don't even drink but since one of my sons is going with me (to make sure I actually go in), I would probably do it if I thought I could get away with it! I don't know what it is but just thinking about dental work makes me get dizzy and sweaty.


 
me too, now i have false teeth, they suck big time. never have fit well. 
i was know to leave dentist office if they kept me waiting. i should have waited. hang in mom , u will be glad in the long run.

babe


----------



## LadyCook61

*DVD not captioned*

I bought a dvd movie that is supposed to be closed captioned, it had the cc on the box .  I put it in the dvd player and movie started, no captioning. 
I cannot watch a movie without closed captioning, being deaf.  I had bought it at Sam's Club and I don't know if they will accept returns of opened dvd box.  The movie didn't even have the interaction menu , some dvd have them, that one can go to the Language and select subtitle .  It really aggravates me when I can't see a movie I bought!


----------



## Katie H

Take it back to Sam's anyway and explain your problem.  If they don't buy your story, ask the clerk to go over to their electronics department and demonstrate to them on the spot.  As they say, a picture is worth....

Be sure you still have the receipt.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

babetoo said:


> me too, now i have false teeth, they suck big time. never have fit well.
> i was know to leave dentist office if they kept me waiting. i should have waited. hang in mom , u will be glad in the long run.
> 
> babe


My mom said hers have never fit well either and it drives her crazy. I usually stay if I make it in the door but more times than I can count, I just call and cancel the day before my appointment because I've gotten so panicky. Since my son is going with me and it's 3 hours away, I'll probably actually make it into the chair!


----------



## Maverick2272

OK I figure I will give this a try. I have spent most of this weekend in bed with severe chest pain. I have had it on and off for the last couple of years, but every time I follow the Doctors advice and go to the ER, they run an EKG and find no problems.
So this last Saturday night it got real bad, and I decided not to go running to the ER yet again only to be given an aspirin and sent home, so I waited it out and on Monday called for a doctors appointment which they scheduled for this morning.
I got to the doctors office, and after being thoroughly chewed out for not going to the ER on Saturday, got sent to the Cardiac Lab at the hospital. Surprise surprise they did an EKG on me. Never saw that one coming...
They then sent me back to my doctors office to await them faxing it back to her for review but only after one of their cardiologists reviewed it. Two hours later we left the doctors office as the results had still not been sent over, the doctor said she would call me later and let me know if it was serious enough to require immediate hospitalization.
So, uh, it could be that serious but since they don't know I should just go home and hope for the best?
Well, a few minutes ago I finally get a call from her. The EKG showed changes, but nothing serious enough to require immediate hospitalization, but enough for them to want me to go in tomorrow right away for an 'echo' test. They also informed me I have a heart murmur. I asked if that was serious. She said it could be, or it might just be nothing. Hey thanks for the straight answer there! She said the 'echo' test would clear that up as well.
So then I tell her the chest pain came back again tonight, and she says I should go to the ER right now! Why?????? So they can do an EKG and tell me the same thing she just told me?? That I don't need immediate hospitalization, follow up with your doctor?
Maybe it is just me, but this whole thing sounds just a tad wacked to me. Maybe I am wrong, but it sounds to me like they are saying "We know you may have a problem but it doesn't require hospitalization yet, nonetheless should you experience more chest pain report to the ER so they can tell you what we just told you again".
Hey, I am not deaf, heard it the first time.... see ya in the morning!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

OK Maverick, here's the straight deal. GO TO THE ER!!!! I don't like docs or hospitals or any of that and I don't trust them either. BUT, they are the only choice is some situations and this is one of them. Take control of your healthcare and refuse to leave til they tell you what is causing your chest pain. Knowing you already have some changes on your EKG means there is something going on. If it's not a heart attack, be thankful. But if it is a heart attack and you don't go, you could sustain irreversible damage to your heart.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

I know that sounded mean but you've done all the things you are supposed to and I'm really hoping this is not a heart attack. But you are a really nice guy and I like having you here and I know you have little ones so go to the ER, my friend.


----------



## pacanis

Heck yeah, Mav..... and then get a second Dr's opinion!

I went to my usual Dr complaining of fatigue, pain in my groin and swelling for a year.  Did the blood tests, the X-Rays, was treated for bronchitus a few times.. finally came, "drop your drawers".  Turns out I had THREE hernias!  The surgeon that operated on me told me that I probably only would have had the one if it had been caught in time... And they don't operate on three at a time, so it took two operations.

Point being?  Get a second opinion if you don't fully trust your Dr.  I learned my lesson the hard way.


----------



## texasgirl

Here's the thing. The doctor saw a change on the EKG showing that there IS something going on, but, not to the extent that it looks like an emergency, BUT, if you continue to have the chest pain, that could mean that it is getting worse each time and if you ignore it, it could be the one time you shouldn't have.
I've had the stress echo, not a big deal at all. The only painful thing to it is when I was put on the treadmill and they started lifting as if going uphill. My calves felt like they were on FIRE!! OUCH! But, other than that, it was nothing.
If you continue to get the pain,just go. It's better to be safe and them send you home with aspirin, than to be taken in an ambulance and it be to late and they send you home in a casket instead!! I'm sorry if that sounds uncaring,but, frankly, do you think I would even reply to this if I didn't?


----------



## Maverick2272

Just to clarify, it wasn't my regular doctor I saw today. I love my doctor, she has shown great patience with me over the last 8 years and worked hard to help me despite the obsticals throw up by the depression. But she is too popular, an emergency visit would be 3 to 5 days out, a regular appointment 30 days out. So today I saw one of her associates, one I have seen once or twice in the past. 
What frustrated me was two things:
One that the appointment was at 9:30am, shortly after they sent me to the Cardiac Clinic and by 11:30am I was back in the Doctors office. We left at 2pm as no word had been received back on the results. Apparently they weren't concerned enough to want to keep me until the results arrived. After we left we stopped by Menards for some shopping and browsing. I had to leave an hour later for chest pains and go home. I have been laying down ever since and they have subsided now. Just a slight ache is left.
Two is that what they are saying is that they have learned all that they can from the EKG, and therefore need the *Transthoracic echocardiogram* to learn more. If I do go back to the ER, they can only run an EKG, and that will show them what is already in my chart, IE nothing new to learn. They can't do the 'echo' unless they admit me to the hospital, and there is nothing on the EKG that would indicate I need immediate hospitalization. Therefore they would not admit me, and I would not get the test. These are the rules the doctors have to follow, they must find sufficient cause to warrant hospitalization and further tests, and so far the Cardiologist who has the say does not think it is serious enough to warrant the hospitalization and tests. He believes it is best to just come in tomorrow for an appointment and go from there. I think if I would take exception to any of the doctors, it would be him.
So, unless something major happens overnight, going to the ER would not serve any purpose, which is why I would question them telling me I should go anyway. But, I suppose there is the outside chance something might happen. Right now it is no where as severe as it was Saturday night (and hey, I was still in here posting anyway!), but if it gets that severe again I suppose I can drop by the ER.
Who knows, maybe that doctor will have a different opinion? Just, doesn't all that sound rather frustrating and just a little contradictory?


----------



## kadesma

Of course it does..You feel as if you're chasing your tail!!!  But, you need to be very careful..If they have nothing better for you, then I'd be on a first name basis with the ER staff..Just take care of YOU and to heck with the rest..It's just like the member who's BF won't eat veggies, keep waving them under his nose and you keep walking on by and eventually something will be done.
kadesma


----------



## Maverick2272

I wanted to thank all of you for your kind words. I remember the treadmill test, had it done in 03, ugg. I did pass with flying colors, but my doctor kept saying we should do it again since it has been so long since I last did it. We just never got around to doing it, not her fault, mostly it is the depression that keeps me from staying on top of this stuff.
It doesn't feel to bad right now, so I think I am going to wait it out unless it suddenly gets much worse.
Thanks again Fishers Mom, Pacanis, Texasgirl, and Kadesma.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Well I want you to know I'm sending out healing positive vibes to you and your and hope that you have a restful, uneventful night so you'll be ready for your tests tomorrow. Be sure and let us know how your tests went, OK?


----------



## jpmcgrew

Maverick2272 said:


> I wanted to thank all of you for your kind words. I remember the treadmill test, had it done in 03, ugg. I did pass with flying colors, but my doctor kept saying we should do it again since it has been so long since I last did it. We just never got around to doing it, not her fault, mostly it is the depression that keeps me from staying on top of this stuff.
> It doesn't feel to bad right now, so I think I am going to wait it out unless it suddenly gets much worse.
> Thanks again Fishers Mom, Pacanis, Texasgirl, and Kadesma.


 
 Do you take something for your depression? I was mildly depressed for years and did not know it I also had anxiety attacks. I used to be able to control the panic attacks for years until one summer about 5 years ago. The doc put me on Paxil and now I am the best I've ever been. It turns out I like to do art in jewelry, floor clothes, and wooden crosses of all sorts. I do wood burning, painting and decoupage on the crosses some of my crosses are as tall as six feet and go as small as 8 inches. My jewelry is made from all kinds of mediums from turquoise, glass and many, many other kinds of stones. I love learning about the different kind of stones.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

jpmcgrew said:


> Do you take something for your depression? I was mildly depressed for years with anxiety attacks. I used to be able to control the panic attacks for years until one summer about 5 years ago. The doc put me on Paxil and now I am the best I've ever been. It turns out I like to do art in jewelry, floor clothes, and wooden crosses of all sorts. I do wood burning, painting and decoupage on the crosses. My jewelry is made from all kinds of mediums from turquoise, glass and many, many other kinds of stones


Oh, oh, we need pictures JP! I'm especially fascinated with painted floor cloths.


----------



## jpmcgrew

Fisher's Mom said:


> Oh, oh, we need pictures JP! I'm especially fascinated with painted floor cloths.


 Floor clothes are a blast to make you can make small ones, giant ones place mats etc. I will try to post some but I suck at posting pictures.


----------



## Maverick2272

Yea those would be cool to see.

Not to get too far into it, but I was diagnosed with Major Depression, PTSD, and Panic Disorder in 03. We have tried pretty much every drug available with no success, and my last hospitalization in Jan 07 they tried ECT with no success. That is not to say we have tried every drug out there, just those available under Medicaid.
The Depression and Diabetes feed each other, which is the real source of the problem for me.


----------



## Bilby

Buddy, not trying to lessen the seriousness of the problem but sometimes doctors can get blinded by the big problems that they don't see the little ones.  Have you looked at your muscular frame? I know I have in the past had "chest" pains that have had absolutely nothing to do with my heart but the muscles over the ribs/neck/shoulder etc.  Because you have a heart problem, they may not even consider the simple things.  Start a diary where you write down what you have done that day and whether you experience any pains or not.  If nothing else, the doctors can use the info perhaps to narrow down the area of concern.  

EKGs are only so good and are at their best when you are experiencing the pain.  I think the echo you mentioned is the one where a tube is placed down your throat.  

I know what you mean about going into the hospital when they do nothing.  Used to happen to me so often.  And if it wasn't that end, it would be the opposite to you and they would say, we can't let you leave just in case.  I have spent more days waiting around the hospital supposedly for observation and yet not visited by anybody (dr, nurse, flower arranger...)!  These days, I go into hospital after about four hours of ill health that is not abating or is getting worse and usually involves pain or vomiting.  Because I am renal, they treat me differently to a patient just in thru ER and I automatically get a priority rating.

But Buddy you really do need to keep going in every time it happens however frustrating it is and the earlier you do it the better. let them see the early symptoms.  Keep a briefcase of things to do while you are waiting ready to go so that ER down time is not wasted. I always grab a thick book as I walk out of the door to amuse myself with for when I am up to it but being a good ex-dialysis patient, I am very experienced at staring into space for hours at a time!!! LOL

As another thought, can you go to a different hospital next time it happens?  Get some new perspectives on it that haven't seen your file.


----------



## Maverick2272

Well, it is a waiting game now. I was told that once they 'found' and 'available' cardiologist he would look over the results and then fax them all to my doctor.
Ick, no not that test, no tube down the throat. This was ultrasound, same as they use for pregnant women to see the baby and hear its heartbeat.


----------



## YT2095

seems the Ignore User button here doesn`t work Quite well as it should 

Most Irritating!


----------



## Dina

krichardson said:


> Dina have you tried Zyrtec? It used to be prescription but it is now over the counter. I had a full body rash last year that was so itchy I cried every night. literally. I tried a million things and zyrtec worked like a miracle drug. Check it out it is for all types of allergies.


I got the plain Claritin and it helped for about 5 hours and I'm sick with the pressure headache and scratchy throat.  I will try Zyrtec tomorrow.  Thank you.


----------



## Dina

Maverick2272 said:


> Well, it is a waiting game now. I was told that once they 'found' and 'available' cardiologist he would look over the results and then fax them all to my doctor.
> Ick, no not that test, no tube down the throat. This was ultrasound, same as they use for pregnant women to see the baby and hear its heartbeat.


Buddy,
I'd go get a second opinion on this.  We shouldn't take our health for granted.  I hope all goes well for you and they give you a diagnosis soon.  Good luck and prayers are on their way to you.


----------



## Maverick2272

Test came back negative. I asked if that meant there was nothing wrong and she said no it just meant that whatever happened Saturday did not cause any damage and the heart is pumping fine.
So now I am supposed to call the Cardiology Dep. tomorrow to make an appointment and we go from there.
Very frustrating.


----------



## babetoo

Maverick2272 said:


> Yea those would be cool to see.
> 
> Not to get too far into it, but I was diagnosed with Major Depression, PTSD, and Panic Disorder in 03. We have tried pretty much every drug available with no success, and my last hospitalization in Jan 07 they tried ECT with no success. That is not to say we have tried every drug out there, just those available under Medicaid.
> The Depression and Diabetes feed each other, which is the real source of the problem for me.


 

i am so sorry that you have such a hard time. i know how it feels. after my husband was murdered in 96 i too was diagnosed with depress and pstd, which included panic attacks. it took my shrink three years to find a combo that worked for me. still each year , when the date of the murder and subsquent trial come around, i really have a hard time. hang in , i was on medical so know how that goes. for a while victim witness fund payed for it. now i have insurance. i don't see a shrink anymore, had enough of them. i am shrinked out. it is what it is. my family dr. writes script for the drugs. i hope that you can find meds that help.

babe for your


----------



## babetoo

YT2095 said:


> seems the Ignore User button here doesn`t work Quite well as it should
> 
> Most Irritating!


 
not sure what u mean. please explain

babe


----------



## Maverick2272

I am very sorry for what happened to you, I can't imagine what it must be like.


----------



## Maverick2272

Wow I killed the thread... sorry.
Anyway, I debated updating but decided oh well. So here is the story:
I went back to the ER on Wednesday evening. They did another EKG and said it was similar to the last one. I said, so run another test, you cant tell me that after ten years in med school they only taught you one test. So he ran an enzyme test and came back and told me I had indeed had a heart attack. Two of em.
So they admitted me around 3am. Told me at 7am they would give me that angiogram thing to take a look around and maybe correct any minor problems they find by doing an angioplast.
So 4pm rolls by and they finally give me the test, and I am starved as they have not let me eat or drink anything all day. After the test they tell me I have to have open heart surgery, triple bypass. Angioplast and balloons wont work.
Uggg. So later that night they take me down for another test to check the arteries in my neck. Then they leave me in the hallway for an hour and a half before someone comes gets me. Later that day I go down for a breathing test, only the machine is broke so back up I come.
I spent most of today getting blood samples taken and letting every tom dick and harry listen to my heart. I feel like a freak show here, they keep parading doctors by to do the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over.
And then, DW disappears for most of the day. She was supposed to drop off the kids at 10:30 at the deacons house, but didn't show until 3:30. She claims she was running 2 hours late from the house, and then got held up at the deacons house talking to the wife for a couple of hours. She was dressed up so I think she went on a couple of appointments for clients and won't admit it. Either that or somewhere else but I won't go there right now...
So now I am just hanging out here waiting for the surgery, which is tentatively scheduled for Tuesday afternoon. They said it should take about 4 hours with another 12 in the ICU and then 3 more days in the hospital before I can go home.


----------



## Barbara L

Buddy, I am praying for you as you go through this.  I know this last week has been a real roller coaster ride for you, both physically and emotionally.  Know that I, and your other DC family members, are there with you through this, lifting you up and trusting that all will turn out well.  Take care of yourself and think of your health first, but when you have the chance, let us know that you are okay.

Barbara


----------



## Buck

Buddy,  My prayers are with you.  Be well and prosper.

Buck.


----------



## kadesma

Take care Maverick,
sending you good thoughts, prayers and wishing you peace..Get well and know we all are pulling for you.
kadesma


----------



## Bilby

Thank goodness they found the problem when they did Buddy!  Better the bypass then a massive heart attack! I am terribly glad you perservered in getting answers. Good for you!  You must be rather nervous but don't be. Just lie back and soak up all the attention. I am sure you will breeze through it.  Thinking of you and wishing you well.


----------



## expatgirl

10 years ago I had chest pains ( and not severe either) due to stress (my father was dying) and the ER refused to let me go home though they did the EKG, the enzyme tests, chest x-rays, and  placed a tablet under my tongue (to see if it was angina)---all came back normal but they still kept me overnight for observation.  Of course, I wasn't on Medicare or Medicaid, either.  They released me with a prescription for anxiety which really helped a lot.  Then I drove home and saw my dad for the last time.  Center on yourself now, Mav, and don't worry about what your wife is up to or not.  YOu don't need anymore added stress caused by things that you can't control right now.  Focus on getting well for the time being and of course the doctors are probably going to want you to make some lifestyle changes, too.  Best of luck and I know that you'll be in everyone's thoughts.


----------



## Maverick2272

Thanks to everyone for their kind words. They will not allow me to go home and schedule the surgery, which is what the doctor says they normally do, because I am a smoker and they feel if I leave the hospital and light up a cigarette I could potentially have a heart attack. So, I stay here until the surgery on Tuesday afternoon. They also started me on anti-depressants and are concerned about that.
My mom is coming here on Monday, I have not talked to her since dads funeral in 04, so there may be the chance for reconciliation between us. I am hoping so. And the last series of tests are Monday as well.
In the meantime, thank God the hospital has wireless or I would be bored out of my skull! The cardiologist keeps telling me "congratulations on quiting smoking". It took me a few minutes to realize what he was saying, LOL. As far as they are concerned, I have officially quit now. They gave me the patch, but it only takes the edge off. DW has informed she has already hidden away my cigarettes... I think this will be the hardest part of it all. 
I can only say thank God they found this early, and it is getting taken care of so I can be there to see my kids grow up!


----------



## texasgirl

Wow, I'm really glad that you didn't just go home this time!! Could have been so much worse. I agree with Expat, don't worry about wife right now. You need to think solely on what is going on with YOU. I hope all the best for you and your mom to get things back again. I don't know what happened, but, if you have even the slightest chance of being with your mom again, do it!! Good luck to you!!


----------



## miniman

Hi Buddy
Thinking of you and praying for the reconciliation with your mom. Keep resting so you are in the best state for your op and look forward to hearing from you afterwards.


----------



## LadyCook61

Buddy,  I pray all goes well with the surgery and that you and your mom reconcile.
  ~Diane


----------



## pacanis

Wow, leave the thread for a minute and all kinds of stuff goes down....
Hang tough, Buddy.  Like everyone else said, it's a good thing they caught it in time to make it a simpler operation. I can't understand the "required" hospitalization ahead of time, as that more than likely would add to your stress, but I guess they have their reasons.
Don't hesitate to start a BS thread to pass the time.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Wow, there's a lot of stuff happening really fast for you, Maverick! Maybe you're feeling like you have no control over anything right now - I know I would. Try to remember that you're doing all this so you can attend your kids' graduations, dance at their weddings, and rejoice in your grandchildren! Sorta like keeping your eye on the prize. You have lots of people in your life and here that will be with you throughout this. Lean on them. If you're nervous, hang out here. We'll be happy to distract you. (And while you're surfing, look up a thread here about chicks digging scars. It could be the silver lining!)


----------



## Katie H

Wow, Maverick, you have a lot on your plate right now.  Just do as my maternal grandfather always recommended, "Take it easy, make it nice."

Just follow the instructions by those caring for you and focus on getting yourself back to 100%.  If you need to lean on anyone, lean on us and lean as hard as you must.  We're all here for you 24/7.

I hope you reach a positive resolution with your mother and that you and your wife weather whatever storm has brewed.  In times when we face significant health issues, other things can take on proportions greater than needed.  Just let the dust settle and concentrate on taking care of YOU.  After that, everything else will fall into place.  Goes back to that "take it easy, make it nice" thing.  There is a lot of wisdom on those words.

Buck and I will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.


----------



## texasgirl

Well, the peace around here just went out the window. My oldest son, 22 years old, has been blowing his money, of course, not if you ask him. He owes us money for the car going in the shop and for insurance. Insurance was due on the 6th. He received his income tax refund and gave us all but, $100 of the car part and said he wanted to have money in his pocket for once. Well, we let that go for a week. Well, here we are 3 weeks later and he only gave me $100. He couldn't even make his whole car payment last week of $150. He only pays $130 a month for insurance and $150 bi-weekly for the car payment. He eats everything he can find in the house. Uses up all the towels, washes only his clothes on Saturday, which dh and myself both work that day, doesn't give us any money for food or anything. All we ask is for him to pay us his insurance, that is it. IF he works 40 hours, he makes $246 a week. Yes, not much, but, in a month, should have PLENTY to pay the 2 car payments and insurance. He lives here for free and gripes about EVERYTHING. him and dh got into it today. I thought it was going to end up in a fist fight, I really did, this time. Stupid son got in dh's face and ask him what his problem was and stop yelling at him. DH shoved him and told him that was it, get out of his house. Son left white faced and gunned his car down the road. I'm here crying my eyes out. I'm scared to death about son. He has no where to go, no money and as angry as he was, I'm afraid of him getting hurt. I know, he needs to learn, but, as a mother, I'll never quit worrying about them both. Younger son finally got a job and if he doesn't pay us back quickly, dh will go off on him too. Normally, wouldn't be that big of a deal, but, we are hurting so bad financially, neither one of us can even see a doctor from our bank accout being under $100 because of all the bills. He knows this too and doesn't seem to care at all. Youngest son at least seems to care, we will see.


----------



## Alix

Oh Stacy, what a hard place to be in. I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad all over the place. Prayers for peace are coming your way.


----------



## texasgirl

Son still hasn't come back. I just hope he's okay. Will be an interesting nights sleep.


----------



## jpmcgrew

texasgirl said:


> Son still hasn't come back. I just hope he's okay. Will be an interesting nights sleep.


 I'm sorry you hafto go thru this TG. Does your son not realize you are not financially able to carry his bills? After all he has it made if he can live rent free etc. Is it possible for him to work with out a car? If so drop all your help on his bills and get out of the bills if they are in your name because you just plain can't afford it. If he can't or wont deal with his bills then that is just to bad for him. I never got any hand outs from my mother because she just did not have the money at best I could borrow $20.00 but I always paid it back because I knew she wouldn't ever lend me anymore. My parents divorced when I was little but my dad also was tight with his money so guess what I learned early on I was responsible for my own bills. I also always lived on my own in studio apartments and sometimes I didn't even have money for tooth paste or food many times I only had $20.00 left after bills to sustain me for two weeks until the next paycheck . All that made me hafto work a job six days a week and usually ten hours or more a day but it was worth it to me as I loved my independence. It sucks to go to work and still only make enough to just get by that is why I would work at a job I hated but always kept looking for a better job and I would find them and then I would look for an even better job. It helps to work in a job that you love so much you would do it for free for me it was cooking and I advanced in a timely manner to finally make enough to pay bills and have some left for a bit of saving and fun. All my jobs were a get paid and learn job as soon as I mastered one job at a restaurant I would look to work at a better restaurant. So many people just settle for the the job they have when they should always keep looking to see if there is something better out there.


----------



## texasgirl

jp, he does know about our finances. We only have his insurance on ours. The car thing was when he was in an accident and we helped him by paying the $500 deductible. Other than that, he keeps all of his money. We know he blows it. He also goes to work late and comes home early. We saw a check stub that shows only 30 hours. He is only bringing home $175 because of it. He just doesn't care.


----------



## Katie H

As hard as it sounds, Stacy, you and your DH need to become a united front and set some guidelines, be they small  ones.  Set limits and consequences for noncompliance...and STICK to them no matter how painful it might be for you and DH.

In other words, dig your heels and keep them there to stabilize your position.  Unless and until you do that, your son will continue to push, push, push the envelope and...win.

In the end, everyone is the loser in this game.  Guess what I'm trying to say is  "tough love" is something that's due.

It will be uncomfortable and hard, but well worth the effort.  Been there, done that.


----------



## texasgirl

Katie E said:


> As hard as it sounds, Stacy, you and your DH need to become a united front and set some guidelines, be they small ones. Set limits and consequences for noncompliance...and STICK to them no matter how painful it might be for you and DH.
> 
> In other words, dig your heels and keep them there to stabilize your position. Unless and until you do that, your son will continue to push, push, push the envelope and...win.
> 
> In the end, everyone is the loser in this game. Guess what I'm trying to say is "tough love" is something that's due.
> 
> It will be uncomfortable and hard, but well worth the effort. Been there, done that.


 
I know. I dont' think he will come back, except to get his stuff either after we go to bed or when we're not here. I don't know where he is and that is what is bothering me right now.


----------



## Katie H

I understand, Stacy.  He is at the stage where he thinks he knows everything.  However long it will take, he will  find out how little  he knows.

Just sit tight and love him through it.  I know it is hard.  You can do it.


----------



## jpmcgrew

Katie E said:


> As hard as it sounds, Stacy, you and your DH need to become a united front and set some guidelines, be they small ones. Set limits and consequences for noncompliance...and STICK to them no matter how painful it might be for you and DH.
> 
> In other words, dig your heels and keep them there to stabilize your position. Unless and until you do that, your son will continue to push, push, push the envelope and...win.
> 
> In the end, everyone is the loser in this game. Guess what I'm trying to say is "tough love" is something that's due.
> 
> It will be uncomfortable and hard, but well worth the effort. Been there, done that.


 Well said! Katie As long as he can get it he will try to get it. Once he figures out he is not getting help he will get that wake up call.
Texas Girl you need to stay strong because if you keep up helping him maybe you all could end up in dire straits. If you take care of you and DH at least you still have a home and food for the kid to come home to.
Maybe you should print these posts and let him read them.  This country is in a big heap of trouble and many families need to band together to survive and still be able to live a decent life.


----------



## Maverick2272

Tough love is, well, tough. Like everyone else said, stick to your guns and keep praying. I will pray for your piece and for him to come to his senses.


----------



## Bilby

Stacy, he has probably just gone to a mate's place and will sleep there tonight or in his car in their driveway (depending how cold it gets). That's what usually happens here. I never understood the free board thing. Most of my friends when we were your son's age didn't pay board. I always did as did my brother. Once I got a serious job, I started paying my mum just under the going rate for rent as board, cos like you, she wasn't well off. I figured the benefits of living at home and paying A$100 week (back at the start of the 90's) were far greater than moving out. In-between jobs, I didn't have to pay anything but it made mum's life a bit easier when I was able to (I worked temp jobs and contract work) and I had all the cushiness of home. But it did teach me more responsibility with my money.

When he gets home, maybe you need to sit down with him away from your husband and just have a non-confrontational chat with him and really explain to him about your financial situation and that he needs to be able to look after himself, even if he isn't able to help you financially. Sometimes, while you say your kids know the situation, they don't always really understand the situation. They're just words. Show him your bills and your bank account. Really level with him like another adult. Be open and honest and see how he reacts. Just don't let the conversation become more than that. Ask him what he feels he could do to help. Make him part of it and try not to be a parent to him at this point.

Just suggestions. Money stresses everyone out. (Well maybe not Gates or Rockefeller etc!!) I worked out on the weekend that 43% of my net income goes on my mortgage repayments. I was much happier not knowing!!!! LOL


----------



## suziquzie

Stacy I'm sorry to hear you are having yet another tough time! I will pray for you and send you some strength. 20 somethings are stubborn (yes I am admitting I was, don't tell my mother), and I'm sure as it may be difficult now, in 10 years he will kiss the ground you walk on. Ok maybe not, but he will end up thinking the world of you for being a tough teacher.


----------



## expatgirl

Stacy, are you better with him or are you better without him with the present state of affairs?  It's a question to ask yourself.  It's obvious that you are better off without him if he is working, freeloading, and not helping out AND disrespecting you and your husband (I'm surprised that your DH hasn't had a "showdown" with him before now especially in light of the fact that you are now in serious financial constraints yourselves.  How else is he going to appreciate the value of money and learn some  fiscal responsibility as well as becoming a responsible adult if he doesn't pay his own way?  Yes, it's called tough love as everyone has said because you are going to have to sit down and tell him that this is what you expect of him or he can find another place to live.  Simple.  And then stick to it...............that's where it's tough, Mom.  No sliding back to the old ways, giving in and feeling sorry for him.  Sure he's going to run off and pout and make you worry about him.  That's his hook........so what?  He's got a car, and clothes, and he's employed.  Let him manage on his own for awhile in the real world.  Friends may put up with him for awhile but unless he straightens up and contributes they'll boot him out, too.  It's sad that you and your hubby are giving up medical care because you can't afford it and he's not helping out.  If he was paying rent then you could afford it.  I bet if you took a survey on DC you'd find that many of us did without while getting started early in life because we couldn't afford it.  None of this put it on a credit card and pay for it later.  No landlord in their right mind would expect someone to go without paying their rent for very long.  If you couldn't afford it you did without.  My first year of married life at age 20 consisted of eating deer meat (in all shapes and forms) because macho man hubby killed a deer and the meat was basically free.  To this day, venison turns my stomach.  Your son will survive tough love, too, and who knows he may come back and help out.  If not then you're better off without his freeloading and irresponsibility and hopefully he will learn it somewhere else.  Stand tough and hang in there...........I know because we've had to be tough ourselves on our firstborn son.  It's not easy.......But you and hubby stick together as a team and you'll be doing your son the biggest favor of his life


----------



## Maverick2272

Our neighbors son is like this. He is now 23, soon to be 24 and has not held a job in his life longer than two weeks. He finished high school just before his 21st birthday. His mom pays for his car insurance, gas, and money to go out with his girlfriends; and when his mom doesn't have money the girlfriends pay.
Now the mom is moving down to NC to be with her husband stationed in the Army there and letting him and his sister live in the house. That is just a disaster waiting to happen. If it snows they don't shovel, and I have never seen either one of them use a lawn mower or ever help clean the house. The daughter is 20 and is supposed to be in school but still has not re-enrolled yet.
She needed to practice some tough love and never did. Her DH tried to but she would not let him, and now it has gotten to this. Unless they are given a reason to get up and get out, they won't see why they should. You have to take away their comfort zone so they can go out and create their own.
I wish all the best for you.


----------



## krichardson

Maverick,
   I just read what you have been going through the past couple of days. I just recently had to stay in the hospital with my roomate who had some seizures. the worst part was the waiting game we had to play. I hope that everything goes well with you and I wish a speedy and healthful recovery!!!!!


----------



## CharlieD

I wish you full and imidiate recovery, and hope that surgery goess really well.


----------



## pdswife

small potatoes next to the above vents but,

DANG IT,  vacation is over, 
I have a bladder infection
and
I 
have
to
go
back
to 
WORK
today.... ugh!!!


----------



## Barbara L

pdswife said:


> small potatoes next to the above vents...


If you leave your potatoes near the vents, they might spoil!  LOL

Seriously, I hope your bladder infection clears up very fast.  It's hard going back to work after such a great vacation!

Barbara


----------



## allwellbeing

Sometimes it is better to just walk away.


----------



## texasgirl

allwellbeing said:


> Sometimes it is better to just walk away.


 
Walk away from what?


----------



## expatgirl

pdswife said:


> small potatoes next to the above vents but,
> 
> DANG IT,  vacation is over,
> I have a bladder infection
> and
> I
> have
> to
> go
> back
> to
> WORK
> today.... ugh!!!



My deepest sympathies for you, pdswife---I'm a veteran of many and they are no fun and very painful.  If you haven't already visit your health food store and get some cranberry pills (not juice) and some lactobacillus capsules which is found in natural yogurt and both will really help fight the bacteria  and future bacteria that cause the infections.  Cranberries help in that they make it difficult for the bacteria to adhere to the lining of the bladder and the lactobacillus (not quite sure exactly) helps adjust the ph to also inhibit bacteria growth.  They really have helped me and maybe they will help you, too.  My 22 year old daughter is quite upset with the genes that have been passed on because she has been on 4 different antibiotics to try and rid herself of her current infection.  She went and bought the cranberry and lactobacillus and has been on them for a week along with her current antibiotic.  We're keeping our fingers crossed that she'll finally be rid of it.  Hope that you do, too.  Drink LOTS of water!!


----------



## CharlieD

Ladies let me tell you, nothing like a blader infection in man, especially when one lives in Soviet Union. I am not going to go into details of treatment, I would not want anybody to faint.

PDS I hope you'll feel better very soon.


----------



## texasgirl

PDS, AZO standard is a good pain relief. It's over the counter. Just be careful, LOL, turns everything orange. But the relief is soo wonderful!!


----------



## expatgirl

I wished that AZO would have worked for me, texasgirl, but mine went beyond that kind of pain---more info than you want to know--but the worst one was when my DH had to practically carry me into the exam room after a painful 3 hour wait in the emergency room and I handed a cup of blood to the nurse as my urine specimen---even she raised her eyes---never want to go thru that again.

And yes, CharlieD, after being over here for awhile, I can just imagine what horrors you must have put up with and the care here is pretty decent though I had to have stitches removed in the UK recently (cut my finger on a knife here in K and had 3 stitches put in) and the nurse told me that he hadn't seen that kind of suture material in YEARS!  Oh, well, it did the job and my finger is still intact!


----------



## CharlieD

Imagine that was some 20 years ago. Before all the good things happened.


----------



## expatgirl

No, I can't---I really can't imagine 20 years ago---you're a survivor, thank goodness!!!


----------



## CharlieD

Thank G-d indeed. How are you doing there anyway? or are you home now?


----------



## expatgirl

I'm happily in my Kazak "dom"--all is well----just read a great book about Kazakhstan written by a Brit---luckily no more bladder infections for many, many years--can't imagine what you must have endured because the book dealt with the Soviet's treatment of K. as a huge dumping ground for ethnic groups that they didn't want, their complete disregard for theenvironmental impact of pollution, radiation contamination, the slaughter of hundreds of thousands of people, etc., etc.


----------



## pdswife

texasgirl said:


> PDS, AZO standard is a good pain relief. It's over the counter. Just be careful, LOL, turns everything orange. But the relief is soo wonderful!!


 

lol.. and it's not even a pretty shade of orange.
BUT, it does help.   


Thanks everyone.
Started on the anti-b's today. So tomorrow is looking 
happier.

smiles, T


----------



## CharlieD

expatgirl said:


> ... complete disregard for ... people, etc., etc.


 
Soviets had "disregarded" prety much anything and everything exept Moscow. Not as bas as far regions, but still it was terible then, it is not much better now. I just found that one of my friends was killed by a gang of a crucked police (militcia) men.


----------



## Alix

Just a quick note on the cranberry and lactobacillus thing. The cranberries change the PH levels which make the place inhospitable for the bacteria to thrive in. (cranberry juice works too but it has sugar so its not AS effective as the pills) The Lactobacillus is a bacteria that is normally found in our bodies. When you are on antibiotics they kill ALL bacteria in our bodies, including the ones we need. So, the lactobacillus capsules put the good stuff back in there to keep us from getting REALLY messed up. (Think yeast infection after the bladder infection. EWWW!)


----------



## texasgirl

Alix said:


> Just a quick note on the cranberry and lactobacillus thing. The cranberries change the PH levels which make the place inhospitable for the bacteria to thrive in. (cranberry juice works too but it has sugar so its not AS effective as the pills) The Lactobacillus is a bacteria that is normally found in our bodies. When you are on antibiotics they kill ALL bacteria in our bodies, including the ones we need. So, the lactobacillus capsules put the good stuff back in there to keep us from getting REALLY messed up. (Think yeast infection after the bladder infection. EWWW!)


 
Wow, Dr. Alix, thanks for the info
Thankfully, never had to deal with the latter problem.


----------



## expatgirl

Alix said:


> Just a quick note on the cranberry and lactobacillus thing. The cranberries change the PH levels which make the place inhospitable for the bacteria to thrive in. (cranberry juice works too but it has sugar so its not AS effective as the pills) The Lactobacillus is a bacteria that is normally found in our bodies. When you are on antibiotics they kill ALL bacteria in our bodies, including the ones we need. So, the lactobacillus capsules put the good stuff back in there to keep us from getting REALLY messed up. (Think yeast infection after the bladder infection. EWWW!)



 Alix--Thanks for a better explanation than mine---I really couldn't remember why the lactobacillus worked but it does and that makes sense about what happens when you take antibiotics.  I haven't had a bladder infection in over 20 years because as soon as I fear that one is starting I begin my cranberry pills, lactobacillus and tons of water regimen and so far I've been able to ward off one.


----------



## jpmcgrew

CharlieD said:


> Soviets had "disregarded" prety much anything and everything exept Moscow. Not as bas as far regions, but still it was terible then, it is not much better now. I just found that one of my friends was killed by a gang of a crucked police (militcia) men.


 I'm so sorry to hear that Charlie. I know it can be a really hard life there.


----------



## Alix

texasgirl said:


> Wow, Dr. Alix, thanks for the info
> Thankfully, never had to deal with the latter problem.



You're welcome! I've been taking lactobacillus the last couple of weeks as a proactive measure before travelling, its good for that too!


----------



## texasgirl

DS has gotten his heart broken for the first time.
He said that he has been mean to her, not physically, but, verbally, sometimes just as bad, from stressing out. I went through so much abuse, in different ways, that I can relate to her on this one and I just want to whip his butt!!!!!
I told him before stop making her cry. He is getting a hard lesson now. He's a loving kid, but, I think he is bi-polar. I've been around 3 family members with it and he is just like them. No excuse though and I told him that. Poor thing, I know he's wrong, but, I don't want to see him in so much pain. Maybe this will teach him a lesson, especially if she gives him another chance.


----------



## suziquzie

TG, same son that left earlier this week or last? Did he come back? Sorry if I've missed something.....
Maybe it's not bi-polar, just adjusting to the age? Realizing he needs to be COMPLETELY responsible for his own actions?  That's a very hard realization for some. I had a tough time at 22 and a new bank job thinking, OMG I have to get up at 6:30 am EVERY day I cant do this!!! I seriously almost had a breakdown with this thought. 
11 almost 12 years later I get up at 4 am on days off, and think wow I slept too late!


----------



## pdswife

TG... I sure hope something good happens for you and your family, soon!

You've all be through enough this year.

smiles, T


----------



## texasgirl

No suziquizie, it's my younger son that quit his job and finally got one last week. This is his 2nd girlfriend all his life and 1st serious one. He was diagnosed ADHD and that is another reason why I think he's bi-polar. I don't take something like that lightly because I think he's moody. There are a lot of reasons for thinking this.
pds, we're going to make it LOL
Although a lot has happened, we're not giving up and we're closer, dh and I anyway.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

texasgirl said:


> No suziquizie, it's my younger son that quit his job and finally got one last week. This is his 2nd girlfriend all his life and 1st serious one. He was diagnosed ADHD and that is another reason why I think he's bi-polar. I don't take something like that lightly because I think he's moody. There are a lot of reasons for thinking this.
> pds, we're going to make it LOL
> Although a lot has happened, we're not giving up and we're closer, dh and I anyway.


My heart goes out to you, Stacy. This is the kind of stuff we can't kiss and make better. Even though he's not a teenager, if this is his first serious girlfriend, he's having to learn about the give and take of relationships. He's probably miserable because he knows he didn't treat her the way he would like to be treated and she finally said enough. My oldest wasn't very kind to her boyfriends because she could always get away with it. It was hard for her when one came along and she really cared for him but he wouldn't put up with her demanding behavior. It was a huge shock to her but she learned a lot from that and learned that just because someone really cares about you doesn't mean they will let you dump on them. Hopefully your son will learn this too. But I know it kills you to see him heartbroken.


----------



## Barbara L

Stacy, if you think he is bi-polar, he really should be checked.  Medication can help a lot.  My friend's husband is mean and irritable when he is off his medication but much much nicer when he is on it.  Your family continues to be in our prayers.

Barbara


----------



## texasgirl

Yeah, I want him to be tested, but, now he has to wait, again, until he gets insurance going again. I am going to talk to him about it though.


----------



## pdswife

My hours just got cut at work ... from 25 a week to 8!
I've told them that I'll stay but, will be looking for something new.  I'm so mad.

I really really really hate hunting for jobs.  My ego can't take the rejections....


----------



## Barbara L

I understand  your frustration Trish.  It looks like my new job will only be 8 hours a week (6 this week because a kid cancelled Wednesday).  I have to drive 19 miles each way to get there and back.  It wouldn't be worth it except, I enjoy doing it, and it could help to have it as a reference later.  I hope you find something with more hours soon.  I know what you mean about the ego and rejections!  I'm right there with you on that.  I hate being interviewed.  I seem to forget how to speak English during them and end up speaking some form of almost English-sounding gibberish.

Barbara


----------



## miniman

I have always got my best jobs thrugh temp positions and proving myself. I do not do interviews well. I wish you all the best pdswife and sorry for your position.


----------



## babetoo

*more needles in my future.*

went to dr. yesterday, blood sugar still running amuck. he put me on a different oral med. and quick acting insulin before meals . still have the shot at night of long acting. so testing five time a day, and stabbing my self with a shot four times a day.

plus he made me wait 15 min to tell me that. bah humbug

sorry just feeling sorry for myself.

babe


----------



## Fisher's Mom

babetoo said:


> went to dr. yesterday, blood sugar still running amuck. he put me on a different oral med. and quick acting insulin before meals . still have the shot at night of long acting. so testing five time a day, and stabbing my self with a shot four times a day.
> 
> plus he made me wait 15 min to tell me that. bah humbug
> 
> sorry just feeling sorry for myself.
> 
> babe


I'm so sorry to hear this, Babe. I can't even imagine having to take a shot 4 times a day. I think you are justified in feeling sorry for yourself - after reading this I'm never feeling sorry for myself again. I do hope the new med helps you.


----------



## Barbara L

Sorry to hear that Babe.  I take Metformin but am fortunate not to need insulin.  And it's okay to feel a little sorry for yourself now and then!

Barbara


----------



## Maverick2272

babetoo said:


> went to dr. yesterday, blood sugar still running amuck. he put me on a different oral med. and quick acting insulin before meals . still have the shot at night of long acting. so testing five time a day, and stabbing my self with a shot four times a day.
> 
> plus he made me wait 15 min to tell me that. bah humbug
> 
> sorry just feeling sorry for myself.
> 
> babe



I know how you feel. I take Humulog before each meal and Lantus before bed as well. I hate poking myself with those needles each day, plus the 'pen' to get blood for the meter.

A don't you hate that when you are on time for a Dr.'s appointment they are always running late with no apology? But if you are running late they act like you just stopped the world while they all waited on you, then they still make you wait to get in because they weren't ready for you yet anyway!!


----------



## Bilby

To PDSWife, Barbarba L and Babetoo - I am sorry to hear of all of your situations.  Let's hope things get better for you Barbara L and they give you more hours, that you get another job very quickly PDSWife, and that your BSL's settle down very quickly Babetoo.


----------



## mudbug

*I Hate PBS Beg Week*

It's going on week 2 in my neck of the woods now, and pre-empting my fave afternoon show.  I am heartily sick of having to listen to some earnest type trying to figure how out many different ways they can say "Send more money."

And I DON'T need another stupid tote bag or coffee cup.


----------



## kadesma

mudbug said:


> It's going on week 2 in my neck of the woods now, and pre-empting my fave afternoon show.  I am heartily sick of having to listen to some earnest type trying to figure how out many different ways they can say "Send more money."
> 
> And I DON'T need another stupid tote bag or coffee cup.


Same here..That is one of the reasons I gave up on PBS..

kadesma


----------



## mudbug

here's an example that will make the blood of Boomers boil.  They had some special on last week about music from the 60s, and who performed?  

One-hit wonders - Jackie DeShannon and the guy from "My Green Tambourine."  

Yeah, I know Janis and Jimi are gone, but come on - they're not all dead yet!!!!!


----------



## Barb L.

Just opened the fridge, the plate of dry rubbed chicken pieces all fell on the floor !!!!! Dog is three feet away - open door out to landing, he went down, closed door - picking up chicken, bumped shoulder up into shelf on door - milk, salad dressing bottles, hot sauces and shelf fell on floor !!!  Washed chicken, put stuff away ------Now having a beer !!!!!


----------



## kadesma

Now, have a second beer and all your worries will go bye bye

kades


----------



## Barb L.

Will do Kades, just for You !!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

kadesma said:


> Now, have a second beer and all your worries will go bye bye
> 
> kades


CJ!!!!! I'm totally shocked! (But I wanna hang out with you even more now!)


----------



## kadesma

Fisher's Mom said:


> CJ!!!!! I'm totally shocked! (But I wanna hang out with you even more now!)


Woo hoo, totally hidden currents here..There was a time So with me, never be surprised...

cj


----------



## kadesma

Barb L. said:


> Will do Kades, just for You !!!



Ahhhhh,
Yummy..

kades


----------



## Barb L.

kadesma said:


> Now, have a second beer and all your worries will go bye bye
> 
> kades



Not telling anyone else-  I just checked my focaccia, the recipe calls for a cup of hot water in a pan below -  so I checked it- not brown - pan dry below, so I got another cup of hot water to pour in - well yours truly pour half of it into the focaccia pan - I never do this crap !!!  Then I went to shake my chicken in a bag with flour- yep - wasn't closed all the way -------- I give up !!  Maybe one more beer will help!!!! Enjoy your dinner - I might be there !!!!


----------



## B'sgirl

The stupid sticker the manufacturer decided to stick on the back of my cake server. Before I had a chance to do some major surgery on it, my exchange student ran it through the dishwasher twice and now it seems to be baked on. I don't get why manufacturers have to put their stickers in the most inconvenient places!


----------



## kadesma

Barb L. said:


> Not telling anyone else-  I just checked my focaccia, the recipe calls for a cup of hot water in a pan below -  so I checked it- not brown - pan dry below, so I got another cup of hot water to pour in - well yours truly pour half of it into the focaccia pan - I never do this crap !!!  Then I went to shake my chicken in a bag with flour- yep - wasn't closed all the way -------- I give up !!  Maybe one more beer will help!!!! Enjoy your dinner - I might be there !!!!


Barb,
you don't need to put a pan of water below your foccacia, just get a spray bottle and spray the inside of the oven 3 times in ten minutes..Will give you what you want ...
I never put a pan of water beheath mine..to much work phooey..
kades


----------



## texasgirl

I hope everyone will forgive me for this vent. My youngest is inlisting with the Army. NOOO!!!
I don't want this. God help me, I don't want this at all!!!! My husband is urging him on, although, HE promised to run if he were drafted back in those days. I want to lash out so badly at him!!!
All I can think of is losing my son. Honor is not in my thoughts AT ALL!!!
I'm sorry to anyone this offends, I really am. I am grateful to all that have served, but, I don't want my son to go.


----------



## Katie H

Check this  out, Stacy.  You come home one afternoon and enter your home.  In the living room, sitting on the sofa, is your youngest child (a son here) with a gentleman you've never seen before.  You acknowledge your son.  He responds and introduces the man sitting next to him.  Innocent enough, yes?

That's what I came home to about 16 years ago.  My son's words  were, "Hi,  Mom.  This is "xxx," he's my recruiter. I've joined  the navy."

Whoa!  You  could've knocked  me over with a feather.  I was, at once, horrified and proud.  Mostly horrified.  In time, I accepted his  decision.  It did take a while  to get over the shock.

The best think I can recommend is that you support your  son in his decision - whether you agree with it or not - he's probably a bit fearful of what's ahead, although he'll never let you know that.

Oh, BTW, his older brother was a marine during Desert Storm.  You want nerves?

Been there.  Done that.  Hang on.  There are positives to the entire experience.


----------



## texasgirl

Katie E said:


> Check this out, Stacy. You come home one afternoon and enter your home. In the living room, sitting on the sofa, is your youngest child (a son here) with a gentleman you've never seen before. You acknowledge your son. He responds and introduces the man sitting next to him. Innocent enough, yes?
> 
> That's what I came home to about 16 years ago. My son's words were, "Hi, Mom. This is "xxx," he's my recruiter. I've joined the navy."
> 
> Whoa! You could've knocked me over with a feather. I was, at once, horrified and proud. Mostly horrified. In time, I accepted his decision. It did take a while to get over the shock.
> 
> The best think I can recommend is that you support your son in his decision - whether you agree with it or not - he's probably a bit fearful of what's ahead, although he'll never let you know that.
> 
> Oh, BTW, his older brother was a marine during Desert Storm. You want nerves?
> 
> Been there. Done that. Hang on. There are positives to the entire experience.


I know what you're saying is true, but, I just don't want this. I don't think he is doing it for the right reasons. He is tired of not having a job and being stressed out about his truck being repo'd and having to move back home. I just don't want him to do this, for these reasons. I don't know how different I would feel if he said, you know, I want to go so that I can help get rid of the terrorists or something like that, but, it would at least show that he REALLY knows what he is getting into.


----------



## Katie H

texasgirl said:


> I know what you're saying is true, but, I just don't want this. I don't think he is doing it for the right reasons. He is tired of not having a job and being stressed out about his truck being repo'd and having to move back home. I just don't want him to do this, for these reasons. I don't know how different I would feel if he said, you know, I want to go so that I can help get rid of the terrorists or something like that, but, it would at least show that he REALLY knows what he is getting into.



I understand what you're saying, Stacy.  His older brother was a different story.  He bucked any kind of discipline.  Even fought with his high school teachers.  We weren't even sure if he would graduate from high school.  Fortunately he did.

We were stunned when he enlisted in the  marines...the hardest service.  For someone who disliked discipline, we thought he  was going  to face  a rude awakening.  He  made it through boot camp  in South Carolina in August.  Can you say  hot and miserable?

At any rate, he discovered  a  lot about the  "real" world and himself and came out a grown-up and more  responsible  young man.

As for our young navy enlistee, he served well and did us and  his country  proud.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Stacy, this is a mother's worst nightmare when it first happens. I haven't been through it but when the boys even talk about it in passing, I get sick to my stomach. It happened to one of my friends in the same way it happened to Katie E - by the time he told her, it was a done deal so really, they just had to accept it. Perhaps part of your panic is that he hasn't actually signed the papers yet so you brain is screaming at you to find a way to stop him. Mine would be, too. I have no advice or words of wisdom for you except to echo what Katie said - _if_ he does this you must try to accept it and be supportive. And lean on your friends (you have many here) to help you handle it.


----------



## texasgirl

I'm sorry, but, I will pray every night until then that he gets a job. IF he does go, I will love him and back him, but, I will be uncontrollable, I 'm afraid.
He was going to do this before, when he didn't think he would graduate and they were going to get him a GED, but, he did graduate and started working and let it go. He has said things about it since then, but, mainly in passing.


----------



## pacanis

As a completely objective view, it sounds like he's trying to put some direction in his life.  That can only be a good thing.


----------



## Katie H

pacanis said:


> As a completely objective view, it sounds like he's trying to put some direction in his life.  That can only be a good thing.



Very good point, pacanis.  That's what our marine son was doing and didn't realize it at the time.  Just thought he was being a big, bad macho dude.  He's going to be 38  this  August and is glad  he did  what he did, even though he hated it at  times.


----------



## amber

I agree with Pacanis as well.  Your son seems to be taking control of his life and seeking a new direction.  I agree with you that his decision would have been a better one if he wanted to join for the cause rather than for a job and benefits, however those two are good things, but the risk now a days is high.  Military does give good pensions I think, but again, we're at war now, and who knows for how long, so I hope he understands that he will have very little training, and then be sent off somewhere.


----------



## Bilby

I also agree with Pacanis Stacy.  Would hate to have a loved one go on active duty in any form of defence but as he has been toying with the idea for a while, it sounds like he may have given it more serious thought than you credit him with. Maybe he is down playing his interest so as not to put you offside.  Boys his age can be embarrassed by making a commitment to something and may be seeking his parents support. Stop imagining the worst possible scenario, it won't help any of you and will just make you a nervous wreck.  He may also be very good at whatever role they give him.  Tell him how you feel but also tell him that you will support him in his decision. See what comes of that.  Don't forget that there are many roles within the armed forces that don't aren't put at the front line even during times of war.  He may be one of those people.  Try and be strong and we will try and support you as much as we can from afar.


----------



## B'sgirl

I can feel your pain. As a mother you tend to envision the worst possible scenario that could happen to your child in any situation. At least I do. Just pray hard for that boy! I dread the day when my son is old enough to make his own choices! But I look forward to it too. You may see him turn out to be a real hero and make something wonderful of himself.


----------



## expatgirl

My dad was one of those DI's (drill instructors) that wore the Smoky the Bear hats like in An Officer and a Gentleman.  He trained troops to fight in the Viet Nam war and commented on what a difference there was in the young men at the end of basic training. My dad also fought along side his troops in Viet Nam. I think that it will be the same for your son, too.  Try and hang in there for his sake if that's what he has his mind set on.


----------



## Maverick2272

A lot in our family have served in the military. My dad in Vietnam, a cousin in Desert Storm, others in WWI and WWII, etc. I can't think of a single mother that was happy with them going off to war.
There is the pride you have when you see how much they have grown up and matured, but the fear is always there. How could it not be considering what they are doing for a living? The best you can do is support him and pray a lot. It's hard, because you have absolutely no control over what he is doing and what might happen to him, so make sure if he does go off you contact the branch he is in and find out about support groups in your area.
I am proud of our soldiers, but I don't envy any of their close family (parents, spouses, siblings, etc), and I hate how we treat them when they come home. We just don't do enough for them or their families I think...


----------



## LadyCook61

I photograph birds.  There is a fence near my  mailbox, I drive to the mailbox, and what do I see, a bird I have never seen before since I lived here in PA.  He was sitting on the fence and I was so mad
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





 that I did not have my camera with me.  He was a male Kestral, beautiful colorful bird.  They don't hang out at the  bird feeders, they eat live prey. I don't know if I will ever see that bird again. 
If it wasn't so cold and windy out today, I would stay out there with a camera and see if he comes back.  The mailbox is far from the house which is why I drive to the box, I live in the country.


----------



## expatgirl

Hope that you get a picture soon, LadyCook61---if you're really determined you might want to call your local county agent/wildlife departments and see if there have been any other spottings.  Maybe they have changed some of their migrational patterns.


----------



## Maverick2272

Ya need one of those motion detecting, time lapsed cameras, LOL.
Otherwise we could pull out one of DC's GPS units and ambush it for ya!


----------



## expatgirl

DC has a GPS unit?????  They must be after you for some reason, Maverick2272......  Do you wear an ankle bracelet, too?  jest kidding.....


----------



## Maverick2272

DC started stocking em for members that had a tendency to wander off without letting anyone know where they went to!

We threatened Bilby with it first.

And the ankle bracelet, as far as I know, is permanently attached to Buckytom and comes complete with electro shocker controlled by the Admins!

Come to think of it.. maybe I should double check myself!


----------



## expatgirl

Maverick2272 said:


> DC started stocking em for members that had a tendency to wander off without letting anyone know where they went to!
> 
> We threatened Bilby with it first.
> 
> And the ankle bracelet, as far as I know, is permanently attached to Buckytom and comes complete with electro shocker controlled by the Admins!
> 
> Come to think of it.. maybe I should double check myself!



LOL way too loud!!!


----------



## B'sgirl

Here is my vent: 

I have had the worst luck the last little while. In November, on a very busy morning and the day I had an orchestra concert to perform in my house flooded. A sewage pipe backed up. It took a month to get all the carpet replaced, so for that whole time my house was all torn apart. At least insurance covered it all. 

Then in January we had a pipe break outside and the water pressure pretty much washed my garden away, including the pansies I had planted so I wouldn't have to plant spring flowers while I was pregnant. 

Then, last Thursday the main waterline broke. (The moron who installed it used a pipe that was an inch too short and just wedged it together). All my new carpet got soaked and now I have carpet and padding torn up again to air out. At least this time the water was clean so we don't have to replace it all again.

Then yesterday, we got back into town for a trip and found a police report on our door and half of our fence missing. One of the neighbors had ran off the road, over the raspberries, through our fence, and nearly hit the house. At least we don't have to pay for it. But now 8 months pregnant and very sore and tired I have to try and prevent B from stepping on carpet tacks inside, and from escaping out of the broken fence outside. I just want a clean/safe house/yard before my baby comes! Is that so much to ask?


----------



## texasgirl

Oh no, how awful for you!! I hope it's goes uphill from here!!


----------



## expatgirl

B's Girl----oh, my, what rotten tomato luck.  So sorry to hear about all the calamities and now you're 8 months pregnant on top of it.  Take pictures so that down the road you can share the disaster with your friends and family as it will make for great conversation and you might even laugh about it. Though not now.  In the meantime hang in there and hopefully your insurance company will handle all of it.  For major home repairs I sometimes ask my insurance company who they recommend and they give me at least 3-4 companies in my area to use.  Never have been disappointed.


----------



## Maverick2272

Good Lord what rotten luck, hope things get better for you! Just think one more month and you will have a new baby! Probably less than a month now? Definitely have to share pictures of that.
And as Expatgirl pointed out, hopefully someday this will all make for an inspirational and amusing story to tell your grandkids!

"Oh you think you are having a bad month, well just let me tell you about that time back in Nov 07..."


----------



## pdswife

Oh goodness, you have a right to vent.  What a hard time!!  Good luck from now on!


----------



## kitchenelf

B'sgirl said:
			
		

> Is that so much to ask?



It's lookin' like that may be too much to ask!    Just kidding!  Good grief - things HAVE to get better from here!


----------



## Katie H

You poor darlin'!  You must feel as though you have a great big bullseye painted on you.  Gotta go up from here! 

Good karma,  good karma, good karma, good....

Yep!  Better things are ahead!!!!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Sorry, B'sgirl! It's harder when things happen at home near the end of your pregnancy. It really screws with our nesting instincts! But in a month, you'll have your arms full of your new little bundle and things won't seem so bad. (It's a good thing, too, because by then, something else will have broken! LOL)


----------



## MilKii

I don't want to go to work tomorrow!


----------



## B'sgirl

Suffering from spring fever, are you? Take a day off. Go for a nice walk in the mountains, or whatever outdoor attractions there are in your area.


----------



## Maverick2272

I am soo tired right now. We have two minivans, a voyager for DW's business, and the family Town & Country. First, the T&C won't start, so I have to jump it and drive it down to the parts store to swap out the battery for a new one. Heavy lifting and I am not supposed to lift anything heavier than a jug of milk! But, now it is working fine again.
Then her Voyager won't start! Turns out she ran it out of gas! So, I go to the service station and fill a 5 gallon can of gas, get it started, and find out the alternator is cracked and wont properly charge the battery. So, I take out the old alternator and again take a trip to the parts store for a new one. Did I mention I am not supposed to be driving here??
Got the new one in, took it to the gas station and finished filling it, and of course whenever I am at the gas station I always check the fluids. Hey, guess what??!! Needs an oil change. Just finished that and now it is all set and ready for her to use.
Then the drier starts making horrible squeaking sounds. Take it apart (man those drums are heavy!!), and find it needed a serious cleaning on the inside! Cleaned it all out, replaced the belt, and had to tighten one of the wheels up. Now it is working fine.
Nothing else better break cause I am wiped out and hurting!


----------



## Bilby

Buddy, Buddy, Buddy!!!!!!!  You are going to have to stop doing these things however inconvenient they are.  This is when you play supervisor and only supervisor.  After my dad had his heart attack, he was the second most grumpiest person ever to be put on this earth and then there was my mum who has an Irish temper and got grumpy because dad was grumpy, and so became the grumpiest person on this earth. Dad wasn't allowed to drive or lift either and in those days, mum didn't drive outside her neighbouring suburbs and dad didn't like her to drive when he was in the car.  (She now drives to visit my brother who lives nearly three hours away!) My brother was able to do some of the heavy lifting but he was in medical school so wasn't around a lot, so a lot fell to mum with dad supervising.  Thankfully I was a kid so wasn't expected to help in those instances cos I am sure one of my parents was about to kill the other and I didn't want to witness it!! ;-)  You send the DW to the store to get the parts, and you don't use the drier for a while.  Your health is much more important than the inconvenience.  The doctors tell you to rest for a reason you know.  

BT, you better give the ankle bracelet to Buddy so that he is under house arrest!!! I'll use the DC GPS to track you!!  LOL


----------



## Maverick2272

DW went to work this morning and took my son and the T&C. That leaves me the Voyager and my two daughters. The Voyager had all the seats taken out except drivers and passengers, so I am not going anywhere today!
The fix on the wheel in the dryer didn't take, so I am waiting on a deacon from the church to swing by and help me out with that. DW took the T&C just in case the deacon didn't make it so I wouldn't be tempted to drive out and get a new wheel.
She hung all the clothes on the clothes line today even though there is a chance of rain.
So, I am stuck inside all day under the watchful eye of my eldest daughter, which is fine cause all I want to do is lay down and sleep, but apparently she is under orders to make me stay downstairs and rest but not sleep all day.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Maverick2272 said:


> So, I am stuck inside all day under the watchful eye of my eldest daughter, which is fine cause all I want to do is lay down and sleep, but apparently she is under orders to make me stay downstairs and rest but not sleep all day.


Sounds to me like the best thing for you is just stay on DC all day. I know it's tough, but think of your health.


----------



## DawnT

Oh, poor Buddy. ;(  Maybe now you will listen to your Doctor and others when told to rest.  *REST!!*  Enjoy the time to be pampered and surf the web!


----------



## Bilby

Maverick2272 said:


> DW went to work this morning and took my son and the T&C. That leaves me the Voyager and my two daughters. The Voyager had all the seats taken out except drivers and passengers, so I am not going anywhere today!
> The fix on the wheel in the dryer didn't take, so I am waiting on a deacon from the church to swing by and help me out with that. DW took the T&C just in case the deacon didn't make it so I wouldn't be tempted to drive out and get a new wheel.
> She hung all the clothes on the clothes line today even though there is a chance of rain.
> So, I am stuck inside all day under the watchful eye of my eldest daughter, which is fine cause all I want to do is lay down and sleep, but apparently she is under orders to make me stay downstairs and rest but not sleep all day.


I imagine you might be hard pressed to get the rest if you have two little girls to look after!! LOL  Sleep!! HaHaHaHa!


----------



## Maverick2272

The oldest daughter is 10, the youngest 3. Luckily my oldest likes playing mother sometimes to the youngest so that helps me out. If it was just me and the 3 year old, I think I would end up more stressed than yesterday!


----------



## B'sgirl

Maverick2272 said:


> The oldest daughter is 10, the youngest 3. Luckily my oldest likes playing mother sometimes to the youngest so that helps me out. If it was just me and the 3 year old, I think I would end up more stressed than yesterday!



No doubt about that! You'd be begging to go lift dryer/car parts!


----------



## texasgirl

Maverick2272 said:


> DW went to work this morning and took my son and the T&C. That leaves me the Voyager and my two daughters. The Voyager had all the seats taken out except drivers and passengers, so I am not going anywhere today!
> The fix on the wheel in the dryer didn't take, so I am waiting on a deacon from the church to swing by and help me out with that. DW took the T&C just in case the deacon didn't make it so I wouldn't be tempted to drive out and get a new wheel.
> She hung all the clothes on the clothes line today even though there is a chance of rain.
> So, I am stuck inside all day under the watchful eye of my eldest daughter, which is fine cause all I want to do is lay down and sleep, but apparently she is under orders to make me stay downstairs and rest but not sleep all day.


One million karma points to dw!!


----------



## Barbara L

The girl next to me on my flight from San Diego to Atlanta had the sniffles.  Just as we were gathering our stuff to get off, I sneezed.  I woke up this morning with a sore throat, and now it feels like it is moving into my lungs.  I don't get sick very often, but I went through a couple bad rounds of bronchitis last year, and I don't want to go through it again.  

YUCK

 Barbara


----------



## pdswife

Sorry Barbara... don't ya just wish sick people would stay off planes!!!


----------



## Barbara L

pdswife said:


> Sorry Barbara... don't ya just wish sick people would stay off planes!!!


Yes!  They need a special "sicko" section!  lol 

Barbara


----------



## kadesma

Barbara L said:


> Yes!  They need a special "sicko" section!  lol
> 
> Barbara


Yep, one that hands out plastic bags and either rubber bands or strong ties

kades


----------



## Maverick2272

I can see the sales agent now, "Would that be First Class, Business Class, Or Sick Class?".


----------



## miniman

Maverick2272 said:


> I can see the sales agent now, "Would that be First Class, Business Class, Or Sick Class?".


 That brings an interesting picture to mind.


----------



## pdswife

while were at it..can we have an adults only section?  I swear everytime I fly either a crying baby or a small (kick the seat the whole way) child sits behind me!!!  Ugh!!!!


----------



## Maverick2272

I was a smart parent, I always booked a window seat and put my daughter there.. nothing else existed to her except that window from the time we took off till the time we landed!


----------



## pdswife

well... I sure wish other parents would do something like that.
and that brings up another VENT... Parenting these days!  Boy...has it gone down hill.


----------



## Maverick2272

OK, so we need a Business Class, Economy Class, Sick Area, and Play area on the planes...


----------



## pdswife

boy, this plane is going to have to be pretty dang big.


----------



## Maverick2272

pdswife said:


> well... I sure wish other parents would do something like that.
> and that brings up another VENT... Parenting these days!  Boy...has it gone down hill.



Sorry, I am trying!!

Seriously though,
I am with you on that one. 10 year olds with cell phones???????? My daughter, in 4th grade, came home the other day complaining that all the other girls in her class, and many of the boys, already had their own cell phones!! I thought it was just one of those made up "everyone else has one" arguments until her elementary school principle sent home a note saying any child showing up with a cell phone would be sent home.


----------



## pdswife

Yep...spoiled kids make bratty kids. 
David always thought I was "mean" because I said NO so often and I made him MIND and have rules!!   Oh well, he turned out to be a good man because I made him be a good child.


----------



## miniman

The problem is that either some parents don't care or other parents have bought into the rights of the child stuff. I try to ensure that mine know that they may have rights but they also know that others have rights as well. Responsilbility & respect should also play a big part in their life.


----------



## pdswife

I agree! 100%


----------



## expatgirl

speaking of kids....my husband and I ate out at a very nice restaurant last night and by the time we left there were 6 boys running amok throughout the tables--and I mean careening off of other diners' chairs (average age 6).....this was not cheap food and we felt like if they had the money for the restaurant they could have gotten babysitters for them....it was terrible...I even said something to the front desk on the way out, not that it's going to do anything...GRIPE!


----------



## love2"Q"

the next kid that runs into me with those heely shoes ...
his parents better be ready for a tirade ...


----------



## Maverick2272

I hate parents that just let their kids run amok everywhere, but at the same time those people that act like even well behaved kids are a huge inconvenience and annoyance are worse in my opinion.
And the people that stand ever ready to 'correct' you on your parenting if you so much as look at your kid cross-eyed when they misbehave... on the one hand they expect your kids to be 'perfect' and yet on the other hand they expect you to do it by reasoning with a three year old while talking softly and gently to them.


----------



## Barbara L

Maverick2272 said:


> ...but at the same time those people that act like even well behaved kids are a huge inconvenience and annoyance are worse in my opinion...


You brought back a really funny memory.  When my grandkids were 3 1/2 and 6 months old, they (and my daughter of course) flew back here to visit.  On their way home they were sitting next to an old grouch on the plane.  Everyone on the plane, including the flight attendants, were amazed at how well-behaved both of the kids were, but the old grouch complained just because they were there.  In fact, I think Nancy said one of the flight attendants finally even said something to her (loud enough for him to get the point) about them being the best behaved kids she had ever seen on the plane.  Anyway, on their way out of the plane, Andrew (3 1/2--and who had no idea what the word he was about to use meant) whispered loudly to Nancy, "I think he has diarrhea!"  

Barbara


----------



## Maverick2272

Barbara L said:


> You brought back a really funny memory.  When my grandkids were 3 1/2 and 6 months old, they (and my daughter of course) flew back here to visit.  On their way home they were sitting next to an old grouch on the plane.  Everyone on the plane, including the flight attendants, were amazed at how well-behaved both of the kids were, but the old grouch complained just because they were there.  In fact, I think Nancy said one of the flight attendants finally even said something to her (loud enough for him to get the point) about them being the best behaved kids she had ever seen on the plane.  Anyway, on their way out of the plane, Andrew (3 1/2--and who had no idea what the word he was about to use meant) whispered loudly to Nancy, "I think he has diarrhea!"
> 
> Barbara





Our neighbors are like that, it never ceases to amaze me that they themselves had kids of their own and are now grandparents!


----------



## B'sgirl

My kid is driving me crazy. I'm happy that he's not sick anymore and all, but he sure has a way of sapping the energy out of me before normal people are even out of bed. After getting me up at 6 (he usually gets up at 7:30) and begging for food, I took him downstairs for breakfast. Except he refused to eat anything offered to him. Don't ask me why he was begging for food before. After I got him out of his high chair he dug a box of candy out of the diaper bag. Get real kid, like I'm going to give you Nerds when you refused to eat cereal, fruit, yogurt, bread...! Then he decided it would be a really fun game to pull books off the bookshelf one by one. Tell me again why I wanted another one?


----------



## miniman

Because you really love him.


----------



## B'sgirl

miniman said:


> Because you really love him.



Dang it! That one gets me every time!


----------



## Maverick2272

We are gluttons for punishment! That and mother nature plays tricks on us. Everything that once annoyed us suddenly becomes 'cute' memories when they get older, and we don't remember the truth until it is too late and the new one is on the way!


----------



## expatgirl

Wait until their teen years---then strap yourselves in tightly on the roller coaster and put the helmet on----you're in for the ride of your lives---NO SLEEP until they go off to college or are out of the house.........


----------



## B'sgirl

expatgirl said:


> Wait until their teen years---then strap yourselves in tightly on the roller coaster and put the helmet on----you're in for the ride of your lives---NO SLEEP until they go off to college or are out of the house.........



Can I skip that part?


----------



## Katie H

B'sgirl said:


> Can I skip that part?



Sorry, that part is mandatory.  But if it helps any, Buck and I survived 4 boys and 1 girl.  Our scars are barely noticeable.


----------



## DawnT

Katie E,  What do you mean?  You get sleep now that your kids are out of the house?!?  Mine still call when the babies get sick in the middle of the night and I go to them!!  I must be doing something wrong!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Katie is absolutely right - no way around it but most of us survive. Be sure and keep detailed notes, though. They will be useful when _your_ kids have teenagers!


----------



## kadesma

DawnT said:


> Katie E,  What do you mean?  You get sleep now that your kids are out of the house?!?  Mine still call when the babies get sick in the middle of the night and I go to them!!  I must be doing something wrong!


Well Well, I'm not alone

kades


----------



## Katie H

It helps to have a little geography in between, Dawn.  Our two children with families of their own live in Atlanta, GA.  They've also been parents for a long while.  One son's been married for 15 years, so they have the "what the heck do I do, mom" part figured out when it comes to their children.  I'm just waiting for one of them to have a "teen."  Now, THAT will be interesting.


----------



## DawnT

Oh, so I have to MOVE?  The girls only live 2 miles away!!LOL


----------



## Katie H

DawnT said:


> Oh, so I have to MOVE?  The girls only live 2 miles away!!LOL




Now you're catching on.


----------



## DawnT

DANG!!!   I like my house on the hill, overlooking the valley.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

DawnT said:


> Katie E,  What do you mean?  You get sleep now that your kids are out of the house?!?  Mine still call when the babies get sick in the middle of the night and I go to them!!  I must be doing something wrong!


Mine never call me for that kind of thing. They know that no matter what the problem is, I'm most likely to tell them to try soaking it in a hot bath!


----------



## DawnT

Fisher's mom Kid - "Mom the kid's head is on fire."
Fisher's Mom - "Try soaking it in a hot bath"


----------



## Fisher's Mom

It's true! My oldest sometimes complains to friends that I don't believe in doctors and that her skin is permanently wrinkled from my famous soaks.


----------



## DawnT

And this is my oldest daughter the raisen!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

OMG Dawn, my daughter would love you! Of course, she may complain but it's my professional opinion that there are very few things a hot bath, a salt water soak, clean sheets and plenty of liquids won't cure.


----------



## DawnT

Of course, what's not to love!!!  LOL


----------



## expatgirl

y'all are too funny..........but yeah, the scars from their teens do heal and it's so much fun in turn to see them deal with their own kids......overnight you suddenly become intelligent again and a source of infinite wisdom.....and you're right.......I'm just waiting for my granddaughter to enter her teens....my German grandmother believed in warm soaks too usually with a tad of vinegar or baking soda added...she had remedies for everything because she didn't believe in going to the doctor


----------



## expatgirl

B'sgirl said:


> My kid is driving me crazy. I'm happy that he's not sick anymore and all, but he sure has a way of sapping the energy out of me before normal people are even out of bed. After getting me up at 6 (he usually gets up at 7:30) and begging for food, I took him downstairs for breakfast. Except he refused to eat anything offered to him. Don't ask me why he was begging for food before. After I got him out of his high chair he dug a box of candy out of the diaper bag. Get real kid, like I'm going to give you Nerds when you refused to eat cereal, fruit, yogurt, bread...! Then he decided it would be a really fun game to pull books off the bookshelf one by one. Tell me again why I wanted another one?



Next time tell him or her that you have some delicious food but it's only for big boys and big girls and they unfortunately they CAN"T have any----depending on their age I guarantee you that they will be "DEMANDING" it.....use this technique  very sparingly and when on the verge of infanticide and going to jail...my son only ate "Big Boy" peas that we grudgingly allowed him to have though it was "illegal"


----------



## Fisher's Mom

expatgirl said:


> y'all are too funny..........but yeah, the scars from their teens do heal and it's so much fun in turn to see them deal with their own kids......overnight you suddenly become intelligent again and a source of infinite wisdom.....and you're right.......I'm just waiting for my granddaughter to enter her teens....my German grandmother believed in warm soaks too usually with a tad of vinegar or baking soda added...she had remedies for everything because she didn't believe in going to the doctor


Your grandmother was a _very wise_ woman. I laughed so hard about the big boy peas, too. I thought my little Fisher was the only kid eating "illegal" foods and doing "illegal" chores!!!


----------



## kitchenelf

TELEMARKETERS!!!!!!!!! I have told this same person, who calls TWICE a day, that the owner is NEVER here and they will have to leave a message - they will NEVER leave a message and refuse to take us off their list unless it's the owner.  Next time I'm going to pretend the owner is here, get their information to see who they are EXACTLY!  I know what the caller ID says - but of course, that does me no good in looking them up.  A legitimate business will show up under a Google search!  grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr............


----------



## pdswife

I'll vent along with you on that one KE... what a royal pain in the butt!


----------



## B'sgirl

I hear ya. I'm on the the national do-not-call registry. But that doesn't prevent the 30 various police and fire-fighter organizations from calling me twice a month asking for money.


----------



## kitchenelf

I called that number back 5 times - it just rang with no answer.  On the 5th time she picked up the phone before it rang and she said hello with a big question mark hanging there!  I asked her what company she was with - I had to repeat it.  I asked why she was calling, I had to repeat that.  I told herI needed to tell the owner why she was calling.  She finally told me she was with PCA Security.  I said I needed to leave a message for the owner as to why she was calling.  She said, Oh, are you in Colorado.  I said NO.  She said, oh, we're done callling in your area.  I said I hope so because you have called twice a day now for I don't know how long.  I tell you each and every time the owner never comes in and you refuse to leave a message and it's getting very old.  She said, oh, thank you, we're done calling in your area.  I said I sure hope so!!!!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Yep, I'm on the do-not-call list but I made the mistake of giving to a State Troopers Association and those guys are relentless. The call _all the time_. But you know what I really hate is the automatic dialers. You know, when you answer the phone and you get a recording to hang on the line for an important message????? That is just beyond all reason. _They_ are calling _me_ and _I'm_ supposed to hold???


----------



## kitchenelf

I just got ANOTHER ONE with the same dialogue - different state, different company.  Will only speak with an owner but no message.  I said, look, the owner is never here and if you want to speak with him you will have to leave a message, otherwise I am going to ask you to quit calling...she started to say something and I just said, this is getting old...please take us off your list...she said ok.  

So, if anyone would like me to speak with the people that call you today seems to be the day I have the "power" to make them say - yes, you will be removed.


----------



## Adillo303

Possibly, I can interest y'all (love that word) in my outlook on telemarketers. They were put here to help you vent pent up frustration form other parts of your life. You can say anything to them and they do not matter. Examples:

"The owner, well he ran off with my wife and I am looking for him too. Can you call back if you find him?"

"Let me put you right through." Transfer them to someone else that "richly" needs the agro.

If you have a multi line phone call an invalid number and put the annoying message on hold and confertence the Telemarketer in to the annoying message. This can also work with a busy signal.

Just put the phone in the waste can and cover it up while they talk on. They get paid by closings and this wastes their time.

These are a few of the nice ones. There are others, be inventive. 

It;s all a state of mind and they are there to entertain.

My all time favorite is the one that calls at night, say 7:00 PM or so. In my most plesant voice -"You called as I just sat down from a 14 hour day and got comfortable. Do you have any reason to believe that after you interrupting me that there is any way that I sould buy anything?"


----------



## LPBeier

I keep getting these calls - they come from a different state each time, but they are the same annoying message "Macys, Bloomingdales, Target, yada yada yada.....a family member or friend entered you into a contest and you are eligble to win yada yada yada...

I live in CANADA!!!! We have no Macys, Bloomingdales or Target stores where I live. And I have no friends or relatives that even if they did shop in those stores would ever be so stupid as to put my name in for one of those propaganda contests!

And because it is a message and the calls come from different places, I can't yell at anyone or get taken off any lists!

There, thanks, I feel very much better now.


----------



## B'sgirl

Fisher's Mom said:


> Yep, I'm on the do-not-call list but I made the mistake of giving to a State Troopers Association and those guys are relentless. The call _all the time_. But you know what I really hate is the automatic dialers. You know, when you answer the phone and you get a recording to hang on the line for an important message????? That is just beyond all reason. _They_ are calling _me_ and _I'm_ supposed to hold???



I have the exact same problem! I donated to the Fraternal Order of the Police and I am now on their list for _eternity.  

_And I get the hold thing all the time too. Why would they bother to call me and then tell me to please hold while I listen to some obnoxious message music? Perhaps they program subliminal message in those so you will be more willing to respond (if anyone actually listens to them).


----------



## Bilby

I know that I don't qualify for a lot of the promotional calls that I get so for the telecommunications ones I just interrupt them nicely and let them know I am on a contract and they thank me and hang up.  The ones for investments and holiday packages, I interrupt nicely and tell them that I am a pensioner and don't earn the minimum amount they require and they thank me and hang up. I donate to about 8 charities or more over the phone and participate in lots of surveys. If I hear an autodialler though, I hang up before it gets round to me. If I hear a recorded voice, I hang up before more than a couple of words are said. Most telemarketers love me cos I ask them how they are, and sometimes make them laugh and then when i say no, they give up graciously.


----------



## B'sgirl

I love it when the surveys call. I like voicing my opinion, plus I did phone surveys one summer to earn money for college. My heart goes out to those poor people!


----------



## CharlieD

I like surveys too and always happy to answer, but I can't stand telemarketers, cause no of them bother to pronounce my name right, so I ususally tell them: "there is nobody by that name".


----------



## expatgirl

If I have the time and the surveys cover areas that I'm intimately involved in I do like to participate and give my opinions.  Bank of America (or Nations at the time) called to do a survey.  Boy did I have some opinions.  Anyway the questions were mundane "How would you rate on a scale on 1-5 the dress of the employees, how would you rate the appearance of the bank's environment, etc.  Finally when she finished I commented,  "Wow, based on you questions alone Nations looks fantastic but I have a lot of problems with them.  Is there somewhere on your questionnaire that I can make reservations about my answers.  She most certainly agreed and said "Of course, what are your concerns?".  Well, a dam broke forth.  For about 6 months our statements were being sent late and we were getting late fees as a result, our prepaid online accounts weren't being taken care of, etc., etc, etc, our credit cards were being denied while we travelled internationally  though we had contacted them and the credit card company, I summed it up by saying if you actually asked questions about the heart of how well they are at delivering services-wide they are doing a poor job.  She said that she was making note of everything and that it would be passed on to a supervisor.  Oh, well, at least I got to vent.......we finally transferred out overseas account to another credit card......


----------



## LPBeier

I don't mind surveys, at least it is a live person you are talking to.  It is those blasted recorded messages that really get me.  I got a call from our provincial government the other day and a recorded message comes on that says "you have a call from so-and-so from the blah-blah department, will you accept the call from so-and-so?"  I say "yes", and wonder if I am getting a collect call.  Finally the person comes on the line.  Very strange.  I can't wait to see my phone bill to see if it really IS collect!


----------



## pdswife

---- Rain----!


----------



## LPBeier

pdswife said:


> ---- Rain----!


 
I totally agree!


----------



## pdswife

I keep thinking it's going to stop...but...nope... Rain is in the forecast for all week.


----------



## babetoo

*waiting for abel*

my handy man has done it again. supposed to be here yesterday to do some work. haven't seen hide nor hair of him. 

it makes me so angry, but that is what he does. when he does work for me, he is wonderful. truly a jack of all trades. he likes to do a good job and always does.

so , i guess i will put up with it, so hard to find anyone for little jobs these days.


ok, all vented

babe


----------



## Maverick2272

I know this is going to sound bad, but:

DW's driving!!!! Literally it takes her ten minutes to change lanes, and what is so wrong with doing the speed limit?? Ten under does not mean ten times safer! 

Especially in Chicago where impatient drivers abound and she never fails to have someone pass her just to turn into her lane, slam on the breaks and turn.. which in turn makes her slam on the brakes and then wait five minutes before moving again.

And she is totally convinced that every car and pedestrian within 100ft of her is just waiting for her to come along before pulling out in front of her or walking out in front of her. I watched her today and her foot spent as much time on the brake pedal as the gas pedal, at least now I know why my brakes never last more than 20,000 miles tops even though they are the 40k to 60k brake pads!

Sorry, had to vent, I swear I am gonna have a heart attack one of these days... oh wait.. never mind!


----------



## pdswife

lol... you're poor wife... 
You sound just like my husband... he can't stand the way I drive.


----------



## LPBeier

I was at a new physio a few weeks ago about my swollen RIGHT leg.  She measured the amount of moment I had in it - the farthest I could straighten it versus the farthest I could bend it - which was not very much, maybe an inch or two difference.  Then she looks down her list of questions and asks "can you drive?"  Yeah, I'm entered in the next INDY race!!!!


----------



## Maverick2272

LPBeier said:


> I was at a new physio a few weeks ago about my swollen RIGHT leg.  She measured the amount of moment I had in it - the farthest I could straighten it versus the farthest I could bend it - which was not very much, maybe an inch or two difference.  Then she looks down her list of questions and asks "can you drive?"  Yeah, I'm entered in the next INDY race!!!!



And we have our newest NASCAR rookie!!

Did anyone catch the video of the rookie crashing recently?? Guy went tumbling down half the track, cars on fire, he casually gets out and waves to the fans!!

Now that's a Five Star crash rating!

Er, back on topic: Sorry to hear about your leg, and yea sometimes docs ask the silliest questions!


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks Mav, my leg is actually feeling a little stronger since I got another new physiotherapist who seems to know what he is doing. But I think I will stay away from driving for awhile longer....the world will be a safer place if I do!


----------



## expatgirl

Mav, I had to laugh at your DW's driving habits----I have a DF (darling friend who must be her twin)......drivers will actually pass her on the right when entering the expressways and she's perplexed as to why...........I said you SHOULD  be accelerating as you enter and not crawling---these people don't want to die from a rear end collision---yeah, I have a hotline to heaven and usually take the wheel myself......none of my daughter's sports team wanted to travel in her car because they knew they would be the last to arrive....not only that but I'm now used to cars honking behind us 'cause she takes so long to accelerate when the light changes and I'm  now her traffic monitor mainly because I'm impatient----red light turns green--GO!  Yet she still manages to get moving violation tickets......don't understand it.....


----------



## suziquzie

Is your friend my mother?!?!


----------



## Bilby

After I had my transplant, I wasn't meant to drive for so many weeks - six comes to mind but I could be wrong. My mum had to move in with me as I wasn't meant to be lifting, bending, carrying, blah, blah so she was also meant to be driving. Well after the first two days of mum driving through peak hour traffic into the city, I figured it was safer for me to drive even with the drugs and pain!  By the end of the week, I was driving on my own, and got told off by the doctor for doing it but I figured I was going to waste all their handiwork by either dying in a car accident or dying through stress!!! LOL

(Oh and it was only that mum doesn't "do" stress very well. Not that she can't drive. ;-))


----------



## expatgirl

Bilby & SQ---you're too funny and yes, I can certainly relate......believe me and I've only had one moving violation in my life (and I deserved it---9 miles over the limit) but that was 30 years ago-----USAA loves me by the way!!!!!!!!!


----------



## suziquzie

My grandpa (mom's dad, who else) Actually STOPPED and BACKED UP on the freeway once when we visited him in FL, he missed the exit. I can't believe we lived. 
My mother stops (almost) at the end of an entrance to the freeway. I don't let her come pick up my kids very often.........


----------



## expatgirl

does she live in Houston?  If so I've cursed her.............


----------



## LPBeier

My Grandfather, who I loved dearly, was determined to drive as long as he could. We lived in a small town and he moved in with us after my grandmother passed away. Well, Pop had this huge Fairlane 500 and would drive me down town (a 5 minute drive or 20 minute walk) and would literally brake at every intersection....even though he was on the main road and everyone else had a stop sign or light! As soon as I was 16 I got my license and became Pop's official chauffer. Only thing is I hated that car!!!


----------



## Alix

I can only access DC and another forum I love with IE!!! My stupid bloody firefox browser won't let me open them!! ARGH! I have done everything I can think of to fix this, deleting cookies, uninstalling, reinstalling, sending frantic messages for help to the all and sundry, but to no avail. I'm FRUSTRATED! And I have to go to work in an hour. PHOOEY!!!!

Ah. I feel some better now. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.


----------



## licia

Alix, we were having so many problems with ours slowing down and refusing to go into places we knew we'd gone before. Dgs came out and took a whole bunch of stuff off that had sneaked up on us. It had almost gotten as slow as dial up.  Now we just whiz thru.  I hope yours turns out as well.


----------



## Alix

The reason I'm so frustrated is that this is a brand new computer. It works fine everywhere else, just not the place I want most to be!! And now IE is acting up on me. It keeps jumping all over the place and I have to log off and log back on...ARGH!


----------



## LPBeier

Alix, the place that you want the computer to be - is there anything magnetic or any heaters that are right by the computer?  These can make it operate very strangely or not at all.  Also, are you using a wireless network to access the internet?  I mean is the internet connection and network hub (wireless antenna unit) too far away for its useful frequency?  I hope I am not throwing out too many technical terms.  We co-owned an internet and computer business for ten years and I played "help desk" a lot!


----------



## expatgirl

All I know is that when our computer slows down to a snail's crawl we pull the plug out and put it back in and for some reason that kicks it back into downloading again.....of course we're not in the western hemisphere either.....but I can certainly relate to your frustration and I doubt if our method would work for you at all........


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Alix said:


> The reason I'm so frustrated is that this is a brand new computer. It works fine everywhere else, just not the place I want most to be!! And now IE is acting up on me. It keeps jumping all over the place and I have to log off and log back on...ARGH!


Alix, I don't know exactly what the problem is but here's a few suggestions:
Since it's a new computer, are you running Vista and you weren't before? This could be an issue which might make you need to change some of your security settings to have things run like before. I use Firefox on my laptop which has Vista so I know you can do it. Have you updated Vista with the new service pack that just came out? If not, I would do that. Second, what virus protection are you running? Is it a new one that came with your new computer? Is it different than what you were running? I use AVG, which is free and set to update daily. It works great. Do you have Spy-Bot installed and have you recently updated it? That is another free program that I highly recommend. Finally, if you do all of that and it's still a little quirky, you might try uninstalling Firefox and then re-installing it. HTH


----------



## Alix

Thanks for the suggestions guys, I'm happy for all of them. 

Lets see...no wireless, no heater, no magnets around the computer. Some pet hair, but I'm kind of meticulous about blowing that out of the tower. 

I use XP, I purposely bought a system with XP because I'm not impressed with Vista. So, all updates are done, and I use AVG and love it. 

Nothing changed from one day to the next except I couldn't get DC to load anymore. Its really bizarre. I went and checked the histories of my kids etc, nothing. Checked system restore points etc, nothing. Its completely random. And of course its the sites I particularly want to access that it is doing it to!!

The part that frustrates me more is that IE is very finicky about navigating the site. If I try to go to a new page I have to hold my mouth just right when I click on the page # or it won't go and I get Server not found messages. So I have to click out and start all over. ARGH!!! I am persevering though.


----------



## Maverick2272

Open up your AVG, make sure to check for updates first, then run it thoroughly thru every file, folder, drive, etc. Also make sure to run anti-spy ware as well. Look for worms, virus', etc.
With Firefox and IE, make sure to clean out everything, not just cookies but web files, passwords, etc. Clean it all out. Then re-set both to their default settings. Also, check to see if your Java has been updated lately. If it has, go to the Java web site and try and re-download their latest version and run it again.
Same goes with any other web based application that downloads and works on IE or Firefox, sometimes an improper update of them will cause these problems. If need be you can just disable all add-ons in IE and Firefox and see if that works.


----------



## LPBeier

Mav, you and my DH would get along just great.  You both speak in a language only a computer would understand!


----------



## suziquzie

may i send my DH away to talk about computer cookies with them??


----------



## Bilby

I run Norton 360 with XP and when it updates, I have to reallow DC to be accessed.  I did a Java update the other day and an IE update yesterday and have now lost my Norton toolbar, although it says it is there.  Playtime for me too I guess, although I can live without a toolbar. Might miss the little green world icon though...


----------



## Maverick2272

Sometimes you have to disable then enable the toolbar so it shows up again, otherwise just re-install it.


----------



## suziquzie

My dishwasher broke, I'm cooking and washing for 5 people BY HAND!!!!!!!!
If i put my hands in water 1 more time they will shrivel and float off into the sunset like dust in the wind.


----------



## pdswife

Time to teach lego girl??


----------



## suziquzie

yeah like i need her to hang on me some more. I'm going to call it my alone time....


----------



## LPBeier

Okay, I can't take it anymore!!! I need to know the story of Lego Girl.  I mean I think I have an idea that she snorted one up her nose, but she seems to be famous in DC circles!


----------



## suziquzie

LPBeier said:


> Okay, I can't take it anymore!!! I need to know the story of Lego Girl. I mean I think I have an idea that she snorted one up her nose, but she seems to be famous in DC circles!


 

That's pretty much all, here's the thread that started it all! 
http://www.discusscooking.com/forums/f26/getting-lego-out-2-yr-old-nose-44352.html


----------



## LPBeier

suziquzie said:


> That's pretty much all, here's the thread that started it all!
> http://www.discusscooking.com/forums/f26/getting-lego-out-2-yr-old-nose-44352.html


 
Wow, that is amazing!  I remember a friend of mine inhaled a nickel and it ended up collapsing her lung (of course she was 15 at the time, not 2!).  I am so glad you got it out before it got worse.  Thanks for sharing the thread.


----------



## suziquzie

How the hech does a 15 yr old inhale a nickel??? You mean this doesn't end???

Thanks for the well wishes, I hope you are feeling better this week.


----------



## LPBeier

To put your mind at ease, I don't think this is a trait with 15 year olds.  She was trying to prove she had the biggest nostrels in the world and....well, I guess she succeeded. She also succeeded in getting the entire volunteer fire department (of which her Dad was a member) and 2 ambulances to come to her house.  Needless to say that after surgery to remove it, a week hospital stay followed by 2 weeks of being grounded after she was all better, scared us all into not playing with money!

Thanks, I am feeling a little better after seeing the doctor and accepting that my knee is NOT going to improve (osteoarthritis has settled in and is progressing at a fast rate) and so I can now work my life around the mobility I have.  I may end up with a replacement knee, but won't know for sure until we go back next week.  And then it is usually at least a year waiting list.  As for my catering business, "rent a daughter" has come home (though is not living with us at the moment) and will be a big help doing the heavy stuff while I organize and do the cake decorating from a seated position. While physically I am struggling, I am 100 per cent better emotionally.  

Oh, and BuckyTom, if you are reading this, I am making sure I get my seaweed and raw seed intake each day.  Found out a new one today - a cup of boiling water with 2 tablespoons unpasturized honey and 1 teaspoon cinnamon twice daily!


----------



## Bilby

Maverick2272 said:


> Sometimes you have to disable then enable the toolbar so it shows up again, otherwise just re-install it.


Funny thing is it works on Gmail, Facebook and several other ad hoc sites but not on DC or EatingWA but used to on all of them!  And the toolbar has no buttons just this strip of icons appear on the screen not where the toolbars are.  Norton is not my favourite but seems to be okay otherwise.


----------



## Barbara L

We went to Taco Bell last night. James passed the food out as he got it out of the bag. Somehow James ended up eating my Taco Supreme (with added guacamole) and I ended up with his plain old taco. I don't care much for their plain tacos. To make matters worse, Cubbie (the dog, for Pete's sake) ended up with my Burrito Supreme (also with added guacamole) and all that was left was Cubbie's beef burrito (no onions). Okay, yes, our dog is disgustingly spoiled, but I was very miffed that James and Cubbie got my food and I got no guacamole!!! James said that from now on I have to take my food out of the bag first!!! 

Barbara


----------



## Barb L.

Barbara, this has happen to us before - , Question - how can one eat another sandwich or taco and not know it ????  Especially if it is different than what -They ordered !!!  I was miffed too !!


----------



## expatgirl

it happens at my house and it's quickly returned because I love hot and spicy with jalapenos...one bite and it's quickly handed back.....if restaurants stocked up on habaneros it would be so much fun to watch the thieves' faces


----------



## Barbara L

Barb L. said:


> Barbara, this has happen to us before - , Question - how can one eat another sandwich or taco and not know it ???? Especially if it is different than what -They ordered !!! I was miffed too !!


I think to James a taco is a taco.  He actually usually also gets Taco Supremes, so I'm sure he didn't think twice about it.  But, understanding it doesn't help my taste-buds any!  LOL

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

suziquzie said:


> How the hech does a 15 yr old inhale a nickel??? You mean this doesn't end???
> 
> Thanks for the well wishes, I hope you are feeling better this week.



I warned you......wait until Lego lassie is 12 --15 you will wished your worst problem was a Lego up the nose and my daughter was great comparatively---it's I just turned suddently stupid and embarrassing to be around  Only at age 22 am I suddenly getting smart again........


----------



## buckytom

someone used to eat my food in my office, so one time i made a habanero paste/vinegar, and i hid it in a sandwich. you can't be too obvious or thieves won't go for it.
all i know is the sandwich was gone the next day. he or she was either a chilli head, or was in so much pain they tossed it.


----------



## expatgirl

we had terrible thieves in our dorm........people learned not to put food in the fridge and being poor college students that was a hardship.....one diabolical student known as "Kicker Pam" (this is Texas by the way and would walk into the dorm and loudly announce "Howdy d......it!!!"  Anyway this girl got tired of it  and decided to "fix" the rustlers on the range...she went home for the weekend and brought back homemade brownies and placed them in the fridge.......she put a note on them "to please not touch"  well, that was incentive enough.......the next day 3 girls went to the school's quack shack with terrible  stomach cramps and diarrhea........Kicker Pam's brownies had been sweetened with a box of exlax............it was too funny........her reputation really went up after that


----------



## kadesma

Well then, many times I'll not finish some fried chicken, half a pastrami sandwich whatever, especially pizza and will bring it home..DH finishes all he orders plus dessert..We get home, the next day I go to get my left overs, and low and behold an empty container...the response is , Oh you wanted that?
Have you ever seen smoke come out someones ears?   I've even taken to putting a note asking that the food not be eaten...same story, oh you wanted that..Well I can live with that I'm an adult, but I got the babies some of those sugar cones with vanilla ice cream and a chocolate topping..Got dh a large container of  strawberry..all set last sunday, guess what no strawberry it was all gone and so were the ice cream cones that i put a note on saying please not to eat the cones are for the kids...Arghhhhhhhhhh
kadesma


----------



## expatgirl

maybe you're going to have to hide the nonperishables and put the perishables in the back of the fridge in disquised containers--good luck


----------



## kadesma

expatgirl said:


> maybe you're going to have to hide the nonperishables and put the perishables in the back of the fridge in disquised containers--good luck


That won't work here..DH has become the food police..He checks the frig and the freezer every day!!! He is constantly asking when are ya gonna cook this that or the other and now has it in his head that food in the freezer more than 2 days will go bad..So any container,can, pot and baggie is checked out and we now take it upon ourselves to toss it if we don't feel like eating it!!!
Around here it's snooze and ya loose..
kadesma


----------



## expatgirl

I haven't seen ungratefulness like this in a long time (and kids are naturally  exempt).  Seems like a couple moved here and the guy works for my husband.  I took his wife everywhere and treated her to lunch, showed her shops, grocery stores, salons, etc, emailed her a list of things to bring, the whole welcome wagon shebang.  Normally the company does that but it's a pretty hurried affair.  She seemed to have had a good impression and had to go home and pack up a shipment and the dog.  Well several weeks go by and my DH and I are in London and we run into her hubby.  "Oh, when is your wife coming to K.?  Oh, she's been in K. for 2 weeks but she's not a happy camper as she's had scarring complications.  Feeling for her and knowing that she had been alone in a new country I asked if she would like to attend our monthly women's coffee (this is where you meet with everyone and learn of upcoming events, new places to go, etc......Oh, please do she'd really like that and it might be good for her to get out.......Ok, so I arranged for her to go, privately asked several to make sure that she wasn't left standing by herself,  introduced her to all etc., one lady gave her the names & numbers of 2 people from her own home country who speak English as well as their own language.  I also gave her a brand new book about K. that was fascinating and an easy read but did tell her that I had people standing in line to read it and could I have it back soon. After the coffee I asked her how she liked the coffee and the people and she informs "Well, I really don't care for coffees".  absolutely no thanks whatsoever.....I was flabbergasted.  She and her hubby were leaving a few days later to go back to her home country for a short visit.  Imagine my shock and surprise when 6 weeks later at a going away  for another couple I see her!  I asked her when she got back  in and she informs me that they NEVER left due to the snow!!!  Now I was outraged!!!  Here she never had left, no phone calls, and no book.  My DH had to buy another one for me because I was giving it as a gift and the friend was leaving soon and I still hadn't gotten my other copy back......I just assumed that something related to her surgery had come up.......seething I asked her if she had talked to her 2 countrymen.......well,  I get this disgusted " they were going to meet but one of them had something come up at the last minute........" Well, then did you call them back to reschedule?"  I get this stupid cow look, "Well, no, I didn't"  So have you met anyone in the last 6 weeks?  "No" and I asked her what she did to pass the time and she replied that she quilted and took care of her dog.  To make sure that she wasn't depressed or anything I asked her if she was happy with that.  And she said "yes".  Then I bowed out of this movie........oh, I forgot to add that after 6 weeks I finally got the book back and was informed that she never had read it----too busy......sorry to post a long vent but some people never cease to amaze me at their lack of interpersonal skills......and it's not cultural as  they have been expats all their lives and she's very well educated........ok, rant's over!!!


----------



## expatgirl

kadesma said:


> That won't work here..DH has become the food police..He checks the frig and the freezer every day!!! He is constantly asking when are ya gonna cook this that or the other and now has it in his head that food in the freezer more than 2 days will go bad..So any container,can, pot and baggie is checked out and we now take it upon ourselves to toss it if we don't feel like eating it!!!
> Around here it's snooze and ya loose..
> kadesma



He's determined isn't he??


----------



## kadesma

expatgirl said:


> He's determined isn't he??


Yep, but so am I

kades


----------



## kadesma

expatgirl said:


> I haven't seen ungratefulness like this in a long time (and kids are naturally  exempt).  Seems like a couple moved here and the guy works for my husband.  I took his wife everywhere and treated her to lunch, showed her shops, grocery stores, salons, etc, emailed her a list of things to bring, the whole welcome wagon shebang.  Normally the company does that but it's a pretty hurried affair.  She seemed to have had a good impression and had to go home and pack up a shipment and the dog.  Well several weeks go by and my DH and I are in London and we run into her hubby.  "Oh, when is your wife coming to K.?  Oh, she's been in K. for 2 weeks but she's not a happy camper as she's had scarring complications.  Feeling for her and knowing that she had been alone in a new country I asked if she would like to attend our monthly women's coffee (this is where you meet with everyone and learn of upcoming events, new places to go, etc......Oh, please do she'd really like that and it might be good for her to get out.......Ok, so I arranged for her to go, privately asked several to make sure that she wasn't left standing by herself,  introduced her to all etc., one lady gave her the names & numbers of 2 people from her own home country who speak English as well as their own language.  I also gave her a brand new book about K. that was fascinating and an easy read but did tell her that I had people standing in line to read it and could I have it back soon. After the coffee I asked her how she liked the coffee and the people and she informs "Well, I really don't care for coffees".  absolutely no thanks whatsoever.....I was flabbergasted.  She and her hubby were leaving a few days later to go back to her home country for a short visit.  Imagine my shock and surprise when 6 weeks later at a going away  for another couple I see her!  I asked her when she got back  in and she informs me that they NEVER left due to the snow!!!  Now I was outraged!!!  Here she never had left, no phone calls, and no book.  My DH had to buy another one for me because I was giving it as a gift and the friend was leaving soon and I still hadn't gotten my other copy back......I just assumed that something related to her surgery had come up.......seething I asked her if she had talked to her 2 countrymen.......well,  I get this disgusted " they were going to meet but one of them had something come up at the last minute........" Well, then did you call them back to reschedule?"  I get this stupid cow look, "Well, no, I didn't"  So have you met anyone in the last 6 weeks?  "No" and I asked her what she did to pass the time and she replied that she quilted and took care of her dog.  To make sure that she wasn't depressed or anything I asked her if she was happy with that.  And she said "yes".  Then I bowed out of this movie........oh, I forgot to add that after 6 weeks I finally got the book back and was informed that she never had read it----too busy......sorry to post a long vent but some people never cease to amaze me at their lack of interpersonal skills......and it's not cultural as  they have been expats all their lives and she's very well educated........ok, rant's over!!!


Good lord, educated..Okay, i'll buy that, common sense and decency ..NONE..A good one to stay away from..Silly fool!!! YES
kadesma


----------



## expatgirl

Don't worry,  kadesma, the next time I see her a function she will get a polite wave and she'll have to come to me to initiate the conversation.........Ann Landers (the advice columnist) always had smart advice for stuff like this.......she said "if you act like a carpet,  then people are going to wipe their shoes on you--they don't do it without your permission"  well, my welcome mat has been rolled up and put away for her......oh, as an added bonus at the going away where 30 people were invited at a very nice restaurant her husband proceeded to smoke the most foul cigar all throughout dinner.......even the K's and Russians who smoke were complaining and he could not have but noticed........he was as insensitive as she was


----------



## kadesma

With those two, they deserve each other

kadesma


----------



## expatgirl

I really don't understand the dynamics between them...........I informed my husband that I wasn't lifting another finger on their behalf and to be scouting out possible new hires because I don't think that anyone is going to give them the time of day after that horrible evening though he's a lot nicer  and politer than her.........DH is doubtful, too, that they will last.........the resentment was touchable..........


----------



## miniman

It is sad that they are not looking to others. I would think that community is really important amongst expats. If hard times come, there will be no one local to support them, which is a shame. It is great that you are so welcoming and ready to help them settle, but if they don't want, youy are right in not persisting - it sounds to me that they are self sufficient to themselves and not willing to interetsed in what is around them.


----------



## miniman

My vent now. I was at the supermarket and the woman behind me had what passed for a beef joint, but it was so sad, it had not been butchered sympathetically, did not look nice, had no external fat and very little marbling - iut was basically a lump of unformed meat (not hung much either). I felt so sad that the supermarket butcher could let something like that out, and for the woman that she did not know any better.


----------



## expatgirl

well, it's nice that you actually cared mm.........I know that I was the  ignorant recipient of some really bad cuts until a friend came with me and showed me what to look for...........they actually quivered when she came along because they knew they were going to have to let go of authentic nice cuts of meat........she was brutal but effective...unfortunately for them I was a quick learner and passed the instructions on.


----------



## Barbara L

My latest vent (rant really) is from last night.  After dinner we went to WalMart.  As we parked we noticed this guy getting ready to leave.  He put his stuff in his fancy "hey everyone look at me" car (with doors that open upward like wings).  Then he pushed his cart a step or two away from his car and then just pushed his cart in the general direction of the large cart "corral" that was only a couple spaces from his car.  It went into the middle of the lane, and that is where he left it.  James and I were a lane away but we went over there and James put the cart away (by this time someone was trying to drive through there and the cart was in his way, so I'm sure he appreciated it).  The idiot who had pushed the cart out there looked over at us just as we were doing that, so I pointed at the cart and mouthed (he couldn't hear me, so no sense yelling!), "You left it there!"  I'm sure he couldn't care less, but I just wanted to let him know that his lack of manners had not gone unnoticed.

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

oh, my, one of my favorite rants, Barbara,  esp.  coupled with the insensitive clods who park in the handicapped spaces and don't display the requisite sign and look like they could run a marathon.........my poor mother in law was crippled from osteoarthritis and because all of the parking spaces would be gone had to deposit her in front of the store and hunt a space further away


----------



## buckytom

i like to leave my cart behind monster sized suvs with handicap plates that park in handicapped spots while the spritely driver (and no passenger) hops out to go shopping.


----------



## Maverick2272

Any time I catch someone leaving a cart in the lot without putting it in the coral, I just grab it and move it behind their car as I walk toward the store, never missing a beat.
Once I was too late and the guy pulled out, so I just pushed it in front of his truck and left it there. He got out and asked what I was doing. I just said "annoying, isn't it?", and walked away.
I wonder if he got the hint?


----------



## Maverick2272

buckytom said:


> i like to leave my cart behind monster sized suvs that park in handicapped spots while the spritely driver (and no passenger) hops out to go shopping.



Ohh, I love to do that as well, especially since my 3 year old loves the half cart/half racing car ones that can be hard to maneuver. A new thing I have been doing is taking pictures front and back that clearly show the non-handicapped plates, the vehicle clearly parked in the handicapped spot, and no handicap tags hanging from the rear view mirror or stickers anywhere on the vehicle. If possible I get pictures of the person jumping out and strolling into the store as well.
I don't know about other places, but here if you print them and turn them into the police, they will mail a copy of them along with a ticket to the person. I have no idea if the judge ever upholds them, but them just having to take a day off to go to court is worth it to me.


----------



## expatgirl

Great suggestions y'all.........what I'd like to do is have a peel off sticker the size of the license plate with a brain  sitting in a wheelchair and adhere it over their license plate advertising "Mentally Handicapped"  I know that there is a money making venture in this somewhere and the proceeds could  be donated to the truly handicapped------my mother-in-law truly suffered


----------



## B'sgirl

I have to admit that during pregnancy I have been guilty of leaving my cart between parking places. I do take care to make sure it's not in anyone's way, and I only do it if there isn't a cart corral anywhere nearby (which is nearly everywhere at our local Wal-Mart--they really need to invest in more). I had the choice of hauling my toddler back to the car when I can hardly walk without him, or leaving him in the car while I made the trek across the parking lot to put my cart in the corral. In that case I figured if Wal-Mart didn't want their carts scattered all over the lot they need to add a few more corrals.


----------



## Katie H

Buck and I have a "handicapped" hang-tag we use on our vehicles.  Both of us need it.  His malady is obvious since he uses a cane...and needs it.  Mine is less obvious and it would appear that I don't suffer from any handicap.  But, believe me, it's there. We have a friend who has been harassed when she's parked in a handicapped space, with the required tag, because she looks perfectly healthy.  In fact, she has a serious breathing problem that is aggravated by having to walk even small distances outside.  Handicapped doesn't always mean wheelchair-bound, etc.

As for the grocery cart thing, yes, I've been guilty of not putting my cart into its corral.  However, whenever I fail to do that I'm always careful to put the cart so that it doesn't interfere with anyone being able to park their car or to get out of the car.  Sometimes walking a few extra steps is just too painful for me.

Conversely, on especially painful days, I'm grateful to find an errant cart near my car so I can use it for support on my way into the store.


----------



## Barbara L

If there is nowhere nearby to put carts, I will leave mine in an out of the way place if there is already a cart there.  Otherwise I just bring it back into the store.  What bugged me about the idiot at WalMart the other night is that he just pushed it out of his way, and into everyone else's way.  I'll bet if someone else did that and nicked his car he'd have them in court!

Barbara


----------



## LPBeier

Oh, I am so glad someone started the "handicapped spot" vent!  Two Christmas's ago, on the morning of Christmas eve, I had to pick up a few items at the grocery store (usually I avoid doing this, but it couldn't be helped.  Well we saw this big black truck with plates from another province waiting for someone to pull out of handicapped spot near the store entrance.  when the van in the spot left, the truck, displaying no plackard moved forward and we thought he was waiting to turn out of the lane. I had put my plackard on the rear view mirror as we entered the parking lot.  My DH stopped for a few minutes waiting for him to leave, and then realized he could swing behind him into the spot.   As he did this, the guy started backing up and put a huge dent in the driver's side.  The guy all of a sudden takes off!  I ask some people to stop him (having stupidly jumped out of the car without my cane and ran about ten feet (two things I can't do) because he hit us.  He waived that he was coming back and went down the next row and parked.  He was ranting and raving at DH that he had marked the spot (by being in front of it I guess) and thought that we had left finally.  He said "you can't put your plackard up until you have parked", which is not true - you aren't supposed to drive on the streets with it but you have to have it up to mark that you need the spot.  He finally calmed down and admitted it was his fault and gave us a few hundred dollars to get it fixed.  Not enough, but we were both in shock at the time.

Well, to add to this, we go into the store to get the stuff and I am visibly shaken and sore.  This guy behind me said "get out of my way" and I move over and say I am really sorry I can't walk any faster, and he turns around, gives me a certain hand jesture and tells me to shut the ------ up.  DH smiles and says "Merry Christmas to you too sir."  By this time I am in tears so I go back to the car and wait for DH to pay for everything.


----------



## babetoo

LPBeier said:


> Oh, I am so glad someone started the "handicapped spot" vent! Two Christmas's ago, on the morning of Christmas eve, I had to pick up a few items at the grocery store (usually I avoid doing this, but it couldn't be helped. Well we saw this big black truck with plates from another province waiting for someone to pull out of handicapped spot near the store entrance. when the van in the spot left, the truck, displaying no plackard moved forward and we thought he was waiting to turn out of the lane. I had put my plackard on the rear view mirror as we entered the parking lot. My DH stopped for a few minutes waiting for him to leave, and then realized he could swing behind him into the spot. As he did this, the guy started backing up and put a huge dent in the driver's side. The guy all of a sudden takes off! I ask some people to stop him (having stupidly jumped out of the car without my cane and ran about ten feet (two things I can't do) because he hit us. He waived that he was coming back and went down the next row and parked. He was ranting and raving at DH that he had marked the spot (by being in front of it I guess) and thought that we had left finally. He said "you can't put your plackard up until you have parked", which is not true - you aren't supposed to drive on the streets with it but you have to have it up to mark that you need the spot. He finally calmed down and admitted it was his fault and gave us a few hundred dollars to get it fixed. Not enough, but we were both in shock at the time.
> 
> Well, to add to this, we go into the store to get the stuff and I am visibly shaken and sore. This guy behind me said "get out of my way" and I move over and say I am really sorry I can't walk any faster, and he turns around, gives me a certain hand jesture and tells me to shut the ------ up. DH smiles and says "Merry Christmas to you too sir." By this time I am in tears so I go back to the car and wait for DH to pay for everything.


 
what an awful experience. sorry u had to go through it. some people are just rotten to the core.

babe


----------



## Alix

Seems to me folks are just feeling more and more entitled. They figure they can do or say anything they want with no consequences. I try to think karmicly and remember that what goes around comes around. I always say a little prayer that when stuff DOES come around to those jerkballs that they will realize WHY it is happening. 

Just wanted to also comment that there are folks who are not visibly handicapped that need those spots. My Mom is asthmatic and diabetic and can't walk far, but she sure LOOKS spritely and well put together. 

OK, I'm sure I'm going to start an absolute firestorm here, but my personal peeve is those stupid spots reserved for families with children or pregnant ladies. Um...what? Presumably if you are pregnant, you are young enough to walk a few extra feet. I'm all for those spots they reserve for Seniors, but the "family ones"? Forgeddabouddit!!


----------



## miniman

Alix said:


> Seems to me folks are just feeling more and more entitled. They figure they can do or say anything they want with no consequences. I try to think karmicly and remember that what goes around comes around. I always say a little prayer that when stuff DOES come around to those jerkballs that they will realize WHY it is happening.
> 
> Just wanted to also comment that there are folks who are not visibly handicapped that need those spots. My Mom is asthmatic and diabetic and can't walk far, but she sure LOOKS spritely and well put together.
> 
> OK, I'm sure I'm going to start an absolute firestorm here, but my personal peeve is those stupid spots reserved for families with children or pregnant ladies. Um...what? Presumably if you are pregnant, you are young enough to walk a few extra feet. I'm all for those spots they reserve for Seniors, but the "family ones"? Forgeddabouddit!!


 
Alix

I appreciated those family spot when my doors where small (they were just starting to come in) because I could open the door wide to get them out of their child seats. Mind you they seem to be respected any more than the diasabbled slots.


----------



## Alix

miniman said:


> Alix
> 
> I appreciated those family spot when my doors where small (they were just starting to come in) because I could open the door wide to get them out of their child seats. Mind you they seem to be respected any more than the diasabbled slots.


 
Family spots are the same size as any other spot here. The larger size WOULD make sense for that though. I figure, since I have kids I get to park there too, but honestly, wouldn't it make more sense to put a Senior's spot there? Silly if you ask me.


----------



## miniman

Yea, I wouldn't have minded where they were as walking wasn't the issue. Over here they are the same as disbled spots having extra wide space so you have room to get and get kids.


----------



## Alix

OK, see, that actually makes sense! Here they are just a couple of spots right next to the handicapped spots. Same size as all the other spots though. Thats just silly.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Yeah, in general I don't consider pregnancy to be a disabling condition and it's usually good for us to walk then. But I like the wide family spaces they have now. When I used to have a carload of toddlers, it was a struggle to get them all unloaded, keep them from running in the street, make sure they don't bang the car next to us with our car door, etc. I was scared to death in parking lots for that reason. So I think the family spot is good. And if it can be close to the store, I do think it's safer for the little ones - less lot to traverse so less chances to pull free and run in front of a car.


----------



## suziquzie

My kids make me feel handicapped some days......  
But no, I never did see the point for pregnant chick spots. Never waited for one, never used one. Waddled my butt in from the end parking spot cuz I HATE waiting and looking for close parking places, carrying another kid most times. Walking right past some chick with a teeny 3 month "baby bump" a few times. I really wanted to kick them!!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

suziquzie said:


> My kids make me feel handicapped some days......
> But no, I never did see the point for pregnant chick spots. Never waited for one, never used one. Waddled my butt in from the end parking spot cuz I HATE waiting and looking for close parking places, carrying another kid most times. Walking right past some chick with a teeny 3 month "baby bump" a few times. I really wanted to kick them!!!


Yeah, I never used a preggers spot either. Actually, I've only seen them at BabiesRUs or maternity shops and I always thought they were a sales technique - make the target buyer feel special. Of course, there are women who have difficult pregnancies so walking may be an issue for them. But in general, I'm with you Suzie. Having a toddler in tow is a handicapping condition!


----------



## Alix

Having a teenager is worse. Makes you mentally handicapped in minutes. LOL!

Edit: Sorry, I should have clarified what I meant about thinking those spots are dumb. I don't think I did that. It bothers me that there are "Family" spots or "Preggers" spots because I feel like so many folks today have entitlement issues. They figure they are entitled to something special just because they exist and I think we are adding to the problem by putting up signs in front of parking stalls that tell people "yes you ARE entitled to special treatment". BAH! OK, guess I now qualify for the cranky lady of the week. Heeheehee!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Barbara L said:


> My latest vent (rant really) is from last night.  After dinner we went to WalMart.  As we parked we noticed this guy getting ready to leave.  He put his stuff in his fancy "hey everyone look at me" car (with doors that open upward like wings).  Then he pushed his cart a step or two away from his car and then just pushed his cart in the general direction of the large cart "corral" that was only a couple spaces from his car.  It went into the middle of the lane, and that is where he left it.  James and I were a lane away but we went over there and James put the cart away (by this time someone was trying to drive through there and the cart was in his way, so I'm sure he appreciated it).  The idiot who had pushed the cart out there looked over at us just as we were doing that, so I pointed at the cart and mouthed (he couldn't hear me, so no sense yelling!), "You left it there!"  I'm sure he couldn't care less, but I just wanted to let him know that his lack of manners had not gone unnoticed.
> 
> Barbara


I love people like you Barbara. At different times my kids have all worked at a big store or grocery store and have had to retrieve carts from the lots. Do you know that the folks that do that get bumped and hit by cars pretty regularly? I didn't know until my kids had that job and they were all warned that they needed to be especially vigilant out there. Plus they have to get them during lightning storms, extreme heat and cold, etc. There was even a man killed recently here in San Antonio when he was hit by a car retrieving carts. So it really warms my heart when I see folks put their carts in the corrals. I feel like they are doing a kindness for my child - even though none of them are doing that sort of work now. So for all you cart retrievers - Thank You!!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Alix said:


> Having a teenager is worse. Makes you mentally handicapped in minutes. LOL!


OMG so true, Alix!!! There are days I have to pretend to be brain dead just to spare what little mental faculties I still have.


----------



## suziquzie

Well the oldest is 8..... I'm halfway to a 16 year old, therefore already half crazy!!!! 
FM my SIL was to be on bedrest for her last 2 1/2 months. Strict bedrest. Yet she insisted on sneaking off to the store and this and that, then be all upset when her bp would shoot up and the dr would tell her they may have to take the baby 2 months early.
At the same time she could manage to be incredibly disabled when she needed to be. My thinking is that if you are having such a hard pregnancy you probably shouldn't be out anyway!!!!! 
Wow I'm gonna get in a lot of trouble now too Alix.....


----------



## Alix

Fisher's Mom said:


> OMG so true, Alix!!! There are days I have to pretend to be brain dead just to spare what little mental faculties I still have.


 
LMAO! A fellow sufferer! I love my girls but they CAN make my brain bleed in seconds if they want to!


----------



## Alix

suziquzie said:


> Well the oldest is 8..... I'm halfway to a 16 year old, therefore already half crazy!!!!
> FM my SIL was to be on bedrest for her last 2 1/2 months. Strict bedrest. Yet she insisted on sneaking off to the store and this and that, then be all upset when her bp would shoot up and the dr would tell her they may have to take the baby 2 months early.
> At the same time she could manage to be incredibly disabled when she needed to be. My thinking is that if you are having such a hard pregnancy you probably shouldn't be out anyway!!!!!
> Wow I'm gonna get in a lot of trouble now too Alix.....


 
Join me baby! LOL!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Alix said:


> Having a teenager is worse. Makes you mentally handicapped in minutes. LOL!
> 
> Edit: Sorry, I should have clarified what I meant about thinking those spots are dumb. I don't think I did that. It bothers me that there are "Family" spots or "Preggers" spots because I feel like so many folks today have entitlement issues. They figure they are entitled to something special just because they exist and I think we are adding to the problem by putting up signs in front of parking stalls that tell people "yes you ARE entitled to special treatment". BAH! OK, guess I now qualify for the cranky lady of the week. Heeheehee!


Alix, we knew what you meant. My brother is an amputee and he needs the space but all to often, you see folks without the proper placard taking up the few spaces there are. It's hard not to say to them, "You should be so grateful that you aren't entitled to this space and that you don't need it".  You are a really caring and considerate person and no one would misunderstand your meaning about this.


----------



## Alix

I'm glad I wasn't being too vague. I sometimes get chatting away and realize I haven't explained myself very well. I'm trying to be better about that though. That was a really lovely compliment and you just made my whole day. Thanks!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Alix said:


> LMAO! A fellow sufferer! I love my girls but they CAN make my brain bleed in seconds if they want to!


You do have it worse. Girls are much more taxing as teens and require you be very alert. Boys pretty much spend their time coming up with various and numerous dangerous ideas, all of which could easily kill or maim.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

suziquzie said:


> Well the oldest is 8..... I'm halfway to a 16 year old, therefore already half crazy!!!!
> FM my SIL was to be on bedrest for her last 2 1/2 months. Strict bedrest. Yet she insisted on sneaking off to the store and this and that, then be all upset when her bp would shoot up and the dr would tell her they may have to take the baby 2 months early.
> At the same time she could manage to be incredibly disabled when she needed to be. My thinking is that if you are having such a hard pregnancy you probably shouldn't be out anyway!!!!!
> Wow I'm gonna get in a lot of trouble now too Alix.....


You're safe here unless your SIL is on this forum!


----------



## suziquzie

ooooo I hope not!


----------



## LPBeier

Okay, I have a new vent!  I have a 3-tier wedding cake and two half sheet cakes to bake this week for Saturday.  The bride has asked that it ALL be carrot cake.  So, today I go to use my food processor's shredding blade and it is in four pieces.  I ask DH and he looks sheepish and says that he forgot to tell me that it broke the last time he shredded cheese for pizza (about a month or so ago).

I am NOT shredding 10 bushels of carrots (okay a slight exageration) by hand!  I have been saving up for a KitchenAid Pro model to match my mixer; but don't have enough yet.  So, I guess I start calling friends and see if I can borrow one.

I don't mind the fact that it broke - these things happens.  It is the fact I didn't know it until I needed it!


----------



## kadesma

LPBeier said:


> Okay, I have a new vent!  I have a 3-tier wedding cake and two half sheet cakes to bake this week for Saturday.  The bride has asked that it ALL be carrot cake.  So, today I go to use my food processor's shredding blade and it is in four pieces.  I ask DH and he looks sheepish and says that he forgot to tell me that it broke the last time he shredded cheese for pizza (about a month or so ago).
> 
> I am NOT shredding 10 bushels of carrots (okay a slight exageration) by hand!  I have been saving up for a KitchenAid Pro model to match my mixer; but don't have enough yet.  So, I guess I start calling friends and see if I can borrow one.
> 
> I don't mind the fact that it broke - these things happens.  It is the fact I didn't know it until I needed it!


And now you tell DH if he breaks anything else you need to make your cakes, he best put on his track shoes and run like , well like the wind..
Then I'd point him in the direction of the nearest store that carries what you need and say go boy or and hand him  a peeler and a shredder...Then go take a nap Wish I was closer and I'd loan ya my Cuisinart to use.

kades


----------



## expatgirl

Yeah, there are times that I really kick myself for not bringing my large, heavy duty processor here..........never realized that you would have to grate your own cheese here and it's a pain when you need a  lot.........all I have is the small Cuisinart model.....but our company has strict weight limits and will charge a lot for extra weight.......when leaving they will send a moving company's rep to "guesstimate" how much you have but upon packing up they will send it to be officially weighed.....the container weight is counted as well and the large processor might have put us over......they told us that we were almost there on the capacity


----------



## LPBeier

kadesma said:


> And now you tell DH if he breaks anything else you need to make your cakes, he best put on his track shoes and run like , well like the wind..
> Then I'd point him in the direction of the nearest store that carries what you need and say go boy or and hand him a peeler and a shredder...Then go take a nap Wish I was closer and I'd loan ya my Cuisinart to use.
> 
> kades


 
Thanks Kades, I wish I had waited and bought either a KitchenAid or a Cuisinart to begin with.  Anything I have from those two companies works like a charm!  As for DH, he promised that if I can't find one in time he WILL grate all my carrots for me.  Sweet guy!


----------



## redkitty

Insomnia. 

I'm tired....I wanna sleep.  The dog is snoring and farting and I'm stuck awake...... smelling her super stinkyness.  Blah.


----------



## babetoo

redkitty said:


> Insomnia.
> 
> I'm tired....I wanna sleep. The dog is snoring and farting and I'm stuck awake...... smelling her super stinkyness. Blah.


 
dare i suggest?  just kick the smelly thing out. 

babe


----------



## kadesma

LPBeier said:


> Thanks Kades, I wish I had waited and bought either a KitchenAid or a Cuisinart to begin with.  Anything I have from those two companies works like a charm!  As for DH, he promised that if I can't find one in time he WILL grate all my carrots for me.  Sweet guy!


Yes he is sweet just like mine is and also smart as a whip

kades


----------



## darlenemt08

I use a Salad Shooter for my carrots.  I use mine when I've got a lot to shred or grate.  To grate, you put the shredded carrots back through it by using the shredder thing.  Whenever I just need a very small amount, I just use my stand-up shredder.

Darlene


----------



## PanchoHambre

TAXES  I got totally reamed this year and for what.. so the govt can waste my money on things I dont support.... hopefully next year I will get a break as I will have some deductions kick in


----------



## pdswife

join the group Pancho... we had to pay over 2000 dollars... oh and that free money the government is sending out ( I think it's a mistake) we get a total of $67.00.  I really believe that there should be a FLAT TAX.  The way we do it now is so unfair.


----------



## expatgirl

pdswife, I had a very "crabby" 10th English teacher a hundred years ago and remember him harping that NOTHING was fair in life and there was nothing as something for "free"-----now he looks very wise and not crabby at all-----I'm the crabby one now!!!


----------



## miniman

Well, I listened to a government spokes person, defending our prime minister, saying that in the UK, we now had the lowest direct taxation in Europe. She did did not mention the indirect taxation and the fact that every economist states that the amount of tax paid by people in this country (as a proportion of their income)  has risen every year for decades.


----------



## pdswife

they only tell ya what ya want to hear.... sigh... lol... read between the lines...


----------



## miniman

Not so much what you want to hear, but what they think will get them re-elected, leaving the bad news in the very fine print.


----------



## pdswife

yes, you are right about that.


----------



## kitchenelf

Can we agree to make Discuss Cooking a political free area?  Oh wait, we already decided that in the Community Policies


----------



## miniman

Sorry kitchenelf - got carried away.


----------



## kitchenelf

miniman said:


> Sorry kitchenelf - got carried away.



Yep, politics have a way of doing that -


----------



## B'sgirl

I'm still pregnant. *sigh*


----------



## pdswife

Here's to a delivery in the next 23 hours!!


----------



## Katie H

B'sgirl said:


> I'm still pregnant. *sigh*



Full moon's on the 20th!


----------



## quicksilver

= ==  
Guess what's on tonight .
"****'s Kitchen". Then "Boston
Legal".
Who's got it better than me???

quicksilver


----------



## kadesma

For the life of me, I don't know why people think it's their right to have a say in your life..I was saying goodbye to Carson this morning after picking up Cade and Carson was crying and holding his arms out to me, this woman walked over to us and asked is he alright did he get hurt. My daughter said no he is fine, then why is he yowling like that asks the woman..I said, he doesn't want to leave his brother..Well she huffs, if you let him behave like that, he is going to be a spoiled brat..That is when I started to tel he to take a hike, but my daughter, just put her arm around me and whispered, shall I show her what a spoiled brat really is? Of course I started to laugh, so did Cade and Carson too, the woman hrrumped and stomped off...Then we laughed even more when Someone I'm not sure who said as they pointed her way, now that kid needs a time out...
kadesma


----------



## Fisher's Mom

It always surprises me how many people don't seem to have a clue about kids when we were all kids at one time!


----------



## expatgirl

Hahaha!  It's easy to be an "expert" if you've never had a kid and I  that she didn't or hers lived on a time out chair for the most ridiculous things........now they're probably having time out on some psych's couch.........amazing


----------



## B'sgirl

People need to mind their own business when it comes to other people's kids. They don't know the individual situation of anyone. What if Carson was acting up because he had recently had sibling die, or gotten over an awful illness, or "mommy" had been hospitalized for a week? Really.


----------



## kitchenelf

My son did like his nails polished just like mommy (he was 2 so in my book that's ok).  A lady in the grocery store line made a comment about and scrunched up her face and put her hand over her mouth.  My son saw her hand and pointed to it and said - "those aren't pretty, my mommy paint them"   I did the right thing - I told him that wasn't very nice and he was insistent that they weren't pretty.  I had to quit 'cause I was gonna blow a gasket from trying not to laugh.  

People are clueless - - - they forget - - - ignorance is really the only word I can think of.  

Glad you got to vent here CJ - though she would have deserved anything you "gave" her.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

kitchenelf said:


> My son did like his nails polished just like mommy (he was 2 so in my book that's ok).  A lady in the grocery store line made a comment about and scrunched up her face and put her hand over her mouth.  My son saw her hand and pointed to it and said - "those aren't pretty, my mommy paint them"   I did the right thing - I told him that wasn't very nice and he was insistent that they weren't pretty.  I had to quit 'cause I was gonna blow a gasket from trying not to laugh.
> 
> People are clueless - - - they forget - - - ignorance is really the only word I can think of.
> 
> Glad you got to vent here CJ - though she would have deserved anything you "gave" her.


 What a funny story, Elf. Some of my boys went through a nail polish phase too.

I remember once when we were on a trip and through a variety of mishaps, it got late and my then 3 year old son was really hungry and trying to contain himself. We went to a McDonald's I think and when we opened up his little burger, they has mistakenly put pickles and onions and catsup on it. It was almost too much for my little guy because he was starving. I quickly told him not to worry, I can get it off, it will be all gone as I was trying desperately to scrape off the offending condiments from his little burger.

A lady next to us piped up and said I should teach him to be grateful for food when he got it and to eat what was put in front of him. My little guy was shocked and stopped whining and turned around to look at her. Then he whispered really loud in the direction of my ear "I think she needs a tummy tickle" (which was what I would do to him if he was crabby or cranky). I couldn't help it - I laughed and said to him "Do you think so?"

The lady was not amused and made a big production out of moving to another spot but I always thought my boy was right. That's exactly what she needed. The lady who poked fun at your son's fancy nails probably really needed a manicure, too, even if she didn't know it at the time!


----------



## Katie H

Fisher's Mom said:


> What a funny story, Elf. Some of my boys went through a nail polish phase too.
> 
> I remember once when we were on a trip and through a variety of mishaps, it got late and my then 3 year old son was really hungry and trying to contain himself. We went to a McDonald's I think and when we opened up his little burger, they has mistakenly put pickles and onions and catsup on it. It was almost too much for my little guy because he was starving. I quickly told him not to worry, I can get it off, it will be all gone as I was trying desperately to scrape off the offending condiments from his little burger.
> 
> A lady next to us piped up and said I should teach him to be grateful for food when he got it and to eat what was put in front of him. My little guy was shocked and stopped whining and turned around to look at her. Then he whispered really loud in the direction of my ear "I think she needs a tummy tickle" (which was what I would do to him if he was crabby or cranky). I couldn't help it - I laughed and said to him "Do you think so?"
> 
> The lady was not amused and made a big production out of moving to another spot but I always thought my boy was right. That's exactly what she needed. The lady who poked fun at your son's fancy nails probably really needed a manicure, too, even if she didn't know it at the time!



Or in the words of Buck's wise father, "Count yourself.  You ain't so many."


----------



## suziquzie

A guy made me cry over Christmas at the store. 
My 4 year old (not quite yet at the time) was getting cranky. Lunchtime, busy store, toys, snacks all around him. We were about done, he spots the candy Daddy put in the cart. I wont let him have any before lunch. He starts up. And keeps going. LOUD.
I walked away into the next aisle with sheer embarrasment and to chill out...... Dad is better at chilling him out. I walk past an older guy saying to his wife "i'd just smack the kid".....he didn't know I was with the offending screamer.
Now you know darn well if I HAD smacked him, that same guy woulda called the cops. And if I had given in and given him candy at 11:30 to shut him up, you bet he would have snarled at me for giving in! I really wanted to smack the guy!!!! 
Oh thank  you thank you for this thread! 
People wonder why I dont take my kids anywhere. I'm afraid to!!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Katie E said:


> Or in the words of Buck's wise father, "Count yourself.  You ain't so many."


I've never heard this phrase before, Katie, but it's wonderful! I think it will be one I'll repeat a lot. Thanks to you and Buck's dad for sharing this one!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

suziquzie said:


> A guy made me cry over Christmas at the store.
> My 4 year old (not quite yet at the time) was getting cranky. Lunchtime, busy store, toys, snacks all around him. We were about done, he spots the candy Daddy put in the cart. I wont let him have any before lunch. He starts up. And keeps going. LOUD.
> I walked away into the next aisle with sheer embarrasment and to chill out...... Dad is better at chilling him out. I walk past an older guy saying to his wife "i'd just smack the kid".....he didn't know I was with the offending screamer.
> Now you know darn well if I HAD smacked him, that same guy woulda called the cops. And if I had given in and given him candy at 11:30 to shut him up, you bet he would have snarled at me for giving in! I really wanted to smack the guy!!!!
> Oh thank  you thank you for this thread!
> People wonder why I dont take my kids anywhere. I'm afraid to!!!


Awww Suzie, we all get to go through really embarrassing stuff with our kids. But when it's happening, it's horrible. (It's really bad when it's one of your relatives who make the remarks!)


----------



## suziquzie

Don't know it alls just bug ya!!!! 
Who really in the end knows the perfect way to raise a child. They are all different. If these people are so much better at it, where is thier book and millions of dollars... since apparantly they are so willing to share such priveliged info with us in the middle of McDonalds!!!! 
(And I bet thier kids are crackheads)


----------



## Katie H

It's been  a long time since  I've taken my children  out with me.  (The youngest is 33.)

But, when I did I knew they would be restless and have "issues."

Whenever I see a mother with a small child who is having challenges I chalk it up to the child being out past nap/food time, etc.  As any of us who have been mothers know, those two categories are prime for difficulties.

I have had my share of children in tow when shopping,  etc.  It's  not easy,  but we made it through it.

Being a mother is the most difficult and rewarding job in the world.   We are only paid by the hugs and kisses of our children.  Does that not make us the richest people in the world?!!!


----------



## suziquzie

I think I don't get paid enough and I should go wake someone up for a hug!!!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Katie E said:


> Whenever I see a mother with a small child who is having challenges I chalk it up to the child being out past nap/food time, etc.  As any of us who have been mothers know, those two categories are prime for difficulties.


This is why you are going to heaven, Katie.


----------



## Maverick2272

When I see a parent struggling with a child, I just smile and say, "Been there!". If I didn't love my kids so much, one of these days I would just take my three year old and hand her over and say, "You know so much, show me!".


----------



## kadesma

Suzie,
never be embarrassed by your children, after all they are in the process of learning lifes rules..Since I had the wonderful adventure of taking care of my grandkids I never frown at a mom and here kiddies nor make mean remarks or rush out of a store to get away from them..I always try to smile at those babies and their mommy, I know what a hard job it is to try to get things done with a tired and hungry little one..That is why I feel a smile and sometimes a hi there helps that tired and frazzled mom and her kids feel life ain't all that bad...You have to look at those youngsters and their parents and think, how would I feel if those were my babies?  And yes we don't get paid in dollars, but believe me, those baby hugs and kisses, looking at those beautiful faces as they sleep..There is not enough money in the world to take the place of that...Enjoy them and the ups and downs, soon enough you will ask, where did the time go? I wish I had it back..
kadesma


----------



## miniman

If you read any of the "expert" childcare books - they all have a different theory, often very contradictive. At my playgroup we have several children who are very individualistic and when when seek advice, it so interesting how they respond with cliches & not very good advice.

I believe every child is individual and there is no one answer except to try be positive (how difficult is that) and reward the good things.


----------



## B'sgirl

This all reminds me of something my sister did when she was maybe 3 years old. My religion encourages a fairly conservative dress code and so most people don't wear sleeveless clothing. One day in Wal-Mart my sister saw someone wearing a tank top and yelled and pointed at her saying, "Mom! Look! Not modest, not modest!". My mother was mortified!


----------



## LPBeier

When I was still a baby (don't know how old), my parents, sister and grandmother went on a trip across Canada and back through the Norhern States in a trailer.  When we were stopped at a camp Mom would cook but while travelling they ate in restarants.  Anway, I guess they stopped for lunch and my Mom had already fed me.  They went into this busy restaurant and I was in a baby seat and was acting up terribly.  People were looking at our table and making comments so my Mom (who wanted me to sleep), put the seat, with me in it, under the table with a soother and a toy or two.  

Well, the same people who wanted me to shut up were now astounded that a Mother would be so crass as to put her child under the table.  Even the waitress commented I guess.  But I was happy as a clam and fell asleep.  

Apparently we ate in the trailer a lot more after that!!!  Mom was apparently less mad at me for being cranky as she was at the people in the restaurant.


----------



## Alix

OK, my freaking browser is doing it AGAIN! It was fixed briefly and now is on the fritz again. I'm more convinced than ever that this has nothing to do with my computer and is some stupid weirdness from somewhere else. 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!


----------



## expatgirl

That's a good vent, Alix..........here's hoping that you find the computergeist and banish the evil spirit forever!


----------



## Maverick2272

I forgot, what was the browser doing again?


----------



## Alix

It won't load DC or any of Andy R's sites. Gives me a timed out error. And in all the places I've gone asking for help, everyone is baffled.


----------



## pdswife

Andy has other sites??  Anything we DC'ers need to know about???


----------



## miniman

Alix said:


> It won't load DC or any of Andy R's sites. Gives me a timed out error. And in all the places I've gone asking for help, everyone is baffled.


 

This may be obvious but have you looked at the security settings, it may be may be that forums are blocked somehow. Things like also sometimes happen with us because the firewall is blocking it and asking permission to access on another login all together (we each have our own logon). It is usually the boys and then I go to my name to find the request waiting there.


----------



## Corey123

One of the small children - the little boy whom I used to tutor at the school gets this way.

He gets so ticked off mad and angry with someone else who made him upset in the first place and he'll vent out and throw these violent temper tantrums.

One of my tutoring sessions with him was one that had me see a different side of him - one that scared me half to death!

He came downstairs mad from his classroom on this particular day, the pencil that he was using, the lead point broke. He threw it across the room in a fit of rage!! Them he came over toward me. He lashed out and started punching me in the face! He was really tripping out!! He didn't hurt me at all though.

I had to gently grab his fists and ask him why was he so mad. "Because people MAKE me mad!!!", he shouted. He sat down and started crying! Trying to smooth him and get him out of his bad mood, I kindly told him that he shouldn't vent his anger out on me because I was not the one who made him mad in the first place and that I'm there to try to help him, not hurt him. Then he became very appoligetic. And he wiped away his tears. He was an emotional wreck!

He hugged me and I hugged him back. and we continued on with the reading session. But you know me - I just didn't have the heart to be mad with him!!
I felt very sorry for him that he's probably going through some difficult times.

I didn't tell anyone about this incident because I did not want the boy to be banned from school. "Are you going to tell anyone that I "beat you up?", he then asked. He knew that it was the wrong thing to do. 

I told him that I wouldn't But I told him that he shouldn't get so violent all the time. Of course, he wanted to know what the word means and I had to explain it to him. I never really knew what had set him off.

I was told that he has personal issues and behavioral problems at home. He told me that he was adopted. Whatever problems that he had before he was adopted, I can get a sense that he might not know who his biological parents are or something like that.

Something might have happened to him that he's having a hard time trying to deal with.

I then asked him to please go pick up the pencil that he so violently threw across the room. He did. He IS a sweet, kind and happy little boy. Just don't make him mad! The Hulk come out in him and he turns into a raging angry little monster!! Haha!!

Either or, he's still just a little kid, and little kids can get emotional just like adults sometimes do. I love him just the same!


----------



## kitchenelf

pdswife said:


> Andy has other sites??  Anything we DC'ers need to know about???



pds - go to the page that lists all the forums - scroll to the bottom - list is right there in link form. 

Other recommended forum communities:
Cooking Forum - Airstream Trailer Forum
Sailing Forum - Aquarium & Reef Forum
Royal Forum - Volkswagen Touareg Forum
Early Retirement Forum - Jeep Wrangler Forum
Whitewater Kayaking & Rafting Forum - Yoga Forum
Interference - U2, Pop Culture & Social Responsibility 	Social Knowledge Networks


----------



## pdswife

Thanks!  You're always very helpful!!!


----------



## B'sgirl

I was having painful contractions all last night that kept me from sleeping. Then between 4 and 5 AM they just stopped. So--no sleep AND no baby! Apparently moving bricks does not induce labor either.


----------



## luvs

B'sgirl said:


> I was having painful contractions all last night that kept me from sleeping. Then between 4 and 5 AM they just stopped. So--no sleep AND no baby! Apparently moving bricks does not induce labor either.


 
babies will arrive when they want, just like they cry, poop, spew formula, & sleep when they want. 
they're precious.
can't wait to hear 'bout your new baby!


----------



## suziquzie

Geez b'sgirl what are you like 6 months overdue now????


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Michelle, I know how tired you are of waiting but you're almost there! For what it's worth, the pregnancies I've had where I had a few of those episodes like yours with a few hours of strong contractions, I had much shorter labors. I think it's more like getting your early labor out of the way. So don't get discouraged - those contractions may have done a lot more than you think! And while moving bricks may not be especially good for starting labor, purposeful (meaning brisk) walking is very good for encouraging labor. It helps loosen the ligaments in your pelvis and allows gravity to bring your baby down. I'm sure your little one will be making an appearance very soon and I can't wait to hear all about it!


----------



## expatgirl

My first was 10 days late and I was miserable---I even got down and scrubbed the kitchen floor in hopes but no.  Then my hubby comes to bed at 1am after stuffing himself with Thanksgiving leftovers. Annoyed I commented that you'd better hope the baby doesn't come tonight. No sooner is he snoring away than my son,  who must have heard me,  decides it's time to get things moving.  And just to make sure there was no doubt that he was sincere my water broke and contractions were coming in painful 2 minute intervals.


----------



## Alix

Andy also has Yoga Forums
 Love that one


and may I suggest a LOOOOONG long walk to encourage that baby to get the heck out of there? B'sgirl, there is another way to stimulate contractions...surefire not kidding, verified by medical professionals...PM me for details.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

expatgirl said:


> My first was 10 days late and I was miserable---I even got down and scrubbed the kitchen floor in hopes but no.  Then my hubby comes to bed at 1am after stuffing himself with Thanksgiving leftovers. Annoyed I commented that you'd better hope the baby doesn't come tonight. No sooner is he snoring away than my son,  who must have heard me,  decides it's time to get things moving.  And just to make sure there was no doubt that he was sincere my water broke and contractions were coming in painful 2 minute intervals.


They do have a way of deciding to be born at inconvenient times, don't they! I had to wake my hubby with 2 of my kids just in time for him to witness their arrival. Both times he had been working very long hours and was exhausted. My last little fellow came 11 days early and since I wasn't expecting that, I wasn't sure until about an hour before he was born that I was actually in labor! I called my daughter in Austin, who wanted to be here, and she just managed to walk in the door in time to help catch him and cut the cord. It was such a whirlwind but I can't complain - 1 hour of labor is a pretty good deal!


----------



## pdswife

much better than 32 and then a c-sect!!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Amen, pds! I have a friend who has had 5 c-sections and I can't even imagine trying to take care of a new baby after major surgery!!! I personally think women who have to have a c-section should automatically get 2 weeks of household help paid for by insurance.


----------



## pdswife

lol.. it's been 23 years..do you think it's toooo late to sign up for that benefit??


----------



## Fisher's Mom

pdswife said:


> lol.. it's been 23 years..do you think it's toooo late to sign up for that benefit??


Well, maybe it could be retroactive for you!


----------



## Maverick2272

Geez, that's not a bad idea. But maybe it should just be 2 weeks paid household help for pregnancies involving stay at home moms, and 4 weeks if it is a c-section. And if you work, it should be maternity leave and 2 weeks household help, again 4 if you have a c-section.
The only exception to being eligible would be if the dad is a stay at home and therefore she is not responsible for the daily household tasks to begin with. But, if a c-section is involved, maybe a nurse being available to come by daily for a couple hours and help out with the baby or something.
Ahh... that perfect world we are still in search of!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Maverick2272 said:


> Geez, that's not a bad idea. But maybe it should just be 2 weeks paid household help for pregnancies involving stay at home moms, and 4 weeks if it is a c-section. And if you work, it should be maternity leave and 2 weeks household help, again 4 if you have a c-section.
> The only exception to being eligible would be if the dad is a stay at home and therefore she is not responsible for the daily household tasks to begin with. But, if a c-section is involved, maybe a nurse being available to come by daily for a couple hours and help out with the baby or something.
> Ahh... that perfect world we are still in search of!


You are a silver-tongued devil!!! You know just how to sweet talk the ladies.


----------



## Maverick2272

LOL sure just as long as it isn't in person, then I just run and hide!

Ask DW, she had to come get me LOL.


----------



## kadesma

pdswife said:


> much better than 32 and then a c-sect!!!


two days of labor then a section, then we did it 3 more times and amen

kadesma


----------



## pdswife

Okay, you win!!!  Two whole days... you poor poor girl!!!  : )


----------



## expatgirl

I guess we didn't have that benefit back in the dinosaur days though they did keep me in the hospital a few days longer after my emergency c-section.  At least I had the help of my mother-i-law for a week.  You're right, Fisher's Mom, they will come when they are good and ready


----------



## suziquzie

I only had 1 c-section, the last one. I had them tie my tubes as long as they were in there. They also thought I had to have my appendix taken out at the same time (I had horrible pain in my side 3 weeks before lego girl was due and couldnt walk) but I didn't. 
I'm still on maternity leave!!!!  Haven't worked (ok full time) since before she was born.


----------



## pdswife

Raising a family and husband is full time work Suzi!!!!


----------



## suziquzie

Ok, I havent been paid with money for full time work since June of 1995. 
Better?


----------



## pdswife

lololol... I know what ya mean.  When I think of all the back wages I'm owned from when mine was a child, it can make me cry!  lol


----------



## B'sgirl

Sorry.  I suppose I really have no room to complain. The due date isn't actually until Monday. It just _feels_ overdue because my last baby was 4 weeks early and fully developed--no extra hospital stay, no oxygen tubes or anything. Besides, sometimes it just feels better to whine about it, doesn't it?  If she doesn't come soon though I am going to have the cleanest house/yard on the block! Ha!


----------



## Maverick2272

My first child I was in the room, holding onto a leg, giving encouragement, loving every second of it, wishing I had owned a cam corder at the time.
By the time the third one came around I was sitting next to her watchin TV...

The first child she was there overnight in labor, it had to be induced, and technically took 11 hours... the third one was born less than two hours after she got to the hospital and about three from the time her water broke.

I wouldn't say she had it easy (there certainly was pain involved), but much easier than some experiences apparently! I consider that a blessing.


----------



## pdswife

my vent... the taxi will be here soon.. Vacation is over.  I have to face reality and live in the real world again... sigh!

It has been GREAT though!!!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

B'sgirl said:


> Sorry.  I suppose I really have no room to complain. The due date isn't actually until Monday. It just _feels_ overdue because my last baby was 4 weeks early and fully developed--no extra hospital stay, no oxygen tubes or anything. Besides, sometimes it just feels better to whine about it, doesn't it?  If she doesn't come soon though I am going to have the cleanest house/yard on the block! Ha!


Being 9 months pregnant gives you a pass to complain _all_ you want about _anything_ you want!!! But seriously, if you are compulsively cleaning house, lots of women say that "nesting activity" happened to them just before their baby was born. (Sadly, it only happened to me twice.)


----------



## suziquzie

I wish my nesting would stop......


----------



## Fisher's Mom

suziquzie said:


> I only had 1 c-section, the last one. I had them tie my tubes as long as they were in there. They also thought I had to have my appendix taken out at the same time (I had horrible pain in my side 3 weeks before lego girl was due and couldnt walk) but I didn't.
> I'm still on maternity leave!!!!  Haven't worked (ok full time) since before she was born.


Hey Suzie - you're still recovering! You _should_ be on maternity leave. And I'm sure the whole Lego incident set your recovery back a couple more years!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

suziquzie said:


> I wish my nesting would stop......


Well, I wish you were nesting in my house!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

kadesma said:


> two days of labor then a section, then we did it 3 more times and amen
> 
> kadesma


4 c-sections??? You are Mother of the Year in my book! Heck, Mother of the Century! I really don't know if I would have been brave enough to do it more than once.


----------



## Dina

3 c-sections here.  I was literally NUTS to have done it a couple times more.


----------



## Alix

Only 2 for me. During the second one I told him to tie my tubes. He asked if I was sure because I had a great looking uterus. I asked him if he was hitting on me. Heh heh heh. (Did I mention his wife was one of his nurses?)


----------



## expatgirl

LOL----Alix take your compliments wherever you can get them---now you can sport a t-shirt  bragging "Gorgeous Uterus" with an arrow pointing---and on the back "Just ask my Dr."


----------



## texasgirl

I was more scared of c section than having mine. LOL Dummy me, I had both of mine natural, no meds at all. Whew, not an easy thing to do at 16 and 19. First was 21 hours, second was 16 1/2 and a preemie. Tubes tied after that one. I had Eclampsia { symptoms ignored by dr's during pregnancy }. Liver swelled to double and boy, I swear THAT hurt worse than the birth did.


----------



## Dina

Lately my daughter's friends (11 going on 12) have been distant from each other.  There's been some differences between the girls and now all of us moms, who had become very close friends, are having a hard time dealing with it.  I feel so much tension when I'm around one of the moms now but her daughter has decided to ignore the rest of the girls, my daughter included.  I know it's a phase they go through with switching friends and ups and downs with hormones and personalities but it sure feels uncomfortable.  Argh!  I am staying away for a while until I figure out what to do with this situation.  Sigh!.................


----------



## Fisher's Mom

expatgirl said:


> LOL----Alix take your compliments wherever you can get them---now you can sport a t-shirt  bragging "Gorgeous Uterus" with an arrow pointing---and on the back "Just ask my Dr."


My doc told me not to worry about giving birth - he said "You could drive a Mac truck through that pelvis." Wait, now that I think about it, that would only be a compliment to another OB/GYN. And I can't even begin to imagine how to put that on a T-shirt.


----------



## Maverick2272

OK, that's about as far as I go


----------



## Katie H

Fisher's Mom said:


> My doc told me not to worry about giving birth - he said "You could drive a Mac truck through that pelvis." Wait, now that I think about it, that would only be a compliment to another OB/GYN. And I can't even begin to imagine how to put that on a T-shirt.



Holy Christmas,  Batman!   In  my  day,  the doc just said, "So  and so  was built to have babies."


----------



## B'sgirl

Dina said:


> Lately my daughter's friends (11 going on 12) have been distant from each other.  There's been some differences between the girls and now all of us moms, who had become very close friends, are having a hard time dealing with it.  I feel so much tension when I'm around one of the moms now but her daughter has decided to ignore the rest of the girls, my daughter included.  I know it's a phase they go through with switching friends and ups and downs with hormones and personalities but it sure feels uncomfortable.  Argh!  I am staying away for a while until I figure out what to do with this situation.  Sigh!.................



That happened to me about that age. My parents felt bad for me and got me cat (I didn't know that was why until I was grown up and married). I don't remember if it helped or not. I just know it eventually passed. I always had good family support, which helped.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Dina said:


> Lately my daughter's friends (11 going on 12) have been distant from each other.  There's been some differences between the girls and now all of us moms, who had become very close friends, are having a hard time dealing with it.  I feel so much tension when I'm around one of the moms now but her daughter has decided to ignore the rest of the girls, my daughter included.  I know it's a phase they go through with switching friends and ups and downs with hormones and personalities but it sure feels uncomfortable.  Argh!  I am staying away for a while until I figure out what to do with this situation.  Sigh!.................


That's really hard, Dina. I've been close with moms of my kids' friends and it's a fine line to walk when the kids fall in and out of favor with each other. Luckily, the other moms have always been aware, too, that the kids' friendships will have lots of ups and downs because they _are_ kids. It's always been kind of an unspoken agreement that we would keep our friendships separate from the kids. Still, there are times when it's fairly uncomfortable.


----------



## CharlieD

My wife had 4 c-sections.

And as far as people telling you what to do with your kids, I especially love when childless person tells me, father of five, how and what to do with one of my kids, when they are crying or having moods.


----------



## expatgirl

I know what you mean, CharlieD.  I remember giving advice to my 1st grade parents long before I had children and now wished that I could talk to them now that I've had my two.  I know that some of the advice would be different!!!  LOL........


----------



## expatgirl

As for teens affecting relationships between adults the very thing happened to my daughter and her friend whose mother happened to be my best friend.  We both agreed that it was their relationship that was experiencing flux and not ours and we carried on as before. They didn't become enemies or anything but  developed other interests and friends.  That's what  many do at that age. Hope that you can come to a happy understanding with the situation.


----------



## Bilby

Fisher's Mom said:


> Well, I wish you were nesting in my house!


Or mine!!


----------



## expatgirl

We're all waiting to hear the good news---please let us know when you feel up to it


----------



## Fisher's Mom

expatgirl said:


> I know what you mean, CharlieD.  I remember giving advice to my 1st grade parents long before I had children and now wished that I could talk to them now that I've had my two.  I know that some of the advice would be different!!!  LOL........


You too????? I knew _everything_ about being a perfect parent until I became one.


----------



## jpmcgrew

Dina said:


> Lately my daughter's friends (11 going on 12) have been distant from each other. There's been some differences between the girls and now all of us moms, who had become very close friends, are having a hard time dealing with it. I feel so much tension when I'm around one of the moms now but her daughter has decided to ignore the rest of the girls, my daughter included. I know it's a phase they go through with switching friends and ups and downs with hormones and personalities but it sure feels uncomfortable. Argh! I am staying away for a while until I figure out what to do with this situation. Sigh!.................


 It doesn't just happen to kids it just happened to me at 50 years old. A couple of years ago the ranch hired a new head of maintenance and of course there were people here at the ranch that were just hateful to him and his wife including my good neighbor but DH and I don't hate someone just because some other people do. Any way we became good friends and my neighbor decided I was not worth her time because of it but I don't care to hate for no reason. Dh and I were their only friends for the longest time and I thought we were pretty tight. About 2 months ago the wife decided not to deal with us anymore she has lost a lot of weight so I don't know if that's it or if I did something to piss her off. But it just seemed like they came over less and less and don't invite us over anymore they are still friendly but when I asked her why they do not come over anymore she said that they were just to busy.I did notice she became really friendly actually they are really tight with another couple that live just across from them . I'm so confused since DH and I stuck with them so long and now they can't seem to be bothered with us anymore. I have never ever made a new friend and then decide my current friend would be out of the picture in my mind the more friends the better. I know it sounds so high school but my feelings were really hurt. I know I should confront her but just have not wanted to as of yet.


----------



## Corey123

It has happened to me in the past also. Lots of times.

Like the kid at school, I sometime get so aggravated and have to vent. Especially when something falls too many times, when something is forgotten after having gone downstairs and out of the building. Even when something doesn't work.

And especially when someone gets on and works my last nerve! Or when someone want to try to get my goat.


----------



## kadesma

jpmcgrew said:


> It doesn't just happen to kids it just happened to me at 50 years old. A couple of years ago the ranch hired a new head of maintenance and of course there were people here at the ranch that were just hateful to him and his wife including my good neighbor but DH and I don't hate someone just because some other people do. Any way we became good friends and my neighbor decided I was not worth her time because of it but I don't care to hate for no reason. Dh and I were their only friends for the longest time and I thought we were pretty tight. About 2 months ago the wife decided not to deal with us anymore she has lost a lot of weight so I don't know if that's it or if I did something to piss her off. But it just seemed like they came over less and less and don't invite us over anymore they are still friendly but when I asked her why they do not come over anymore she said that they were just to busy.I did notice she became really friendly actually they are really tight with another couple that live just across from them . I'm so confused since DH and I stuck with them so long and now they can't seem to be bothered with us anymore. I have never ever made a new friend and then decide my current friend would be out of the picture in my mind the more friends the better. I know it sounds so high school but my feelings were really hurt. I know I should confront her but just have not wanted to as of yet.


Of course you're hurt and a tad angry..You're wondering what YOU did..Nothing, you were just to nice and people tend to take advantage of it...Sit back and remember all you did, then pat yourself of the back and say nuts, I'm not going to let me get so upset I'll do something silly..Just be YOU and  if you have to say something..Then just let her know  you're sorry she has chosen to walk away and that your door is open, but you are not the doormat..Then I'd turn away and just let myself find something I love doing and had put aside to do things with them, and begin doing what makes me happy..Do not let an ingrate make you unhappy..They are not worth it.You gave, they took..Chances are they take from all but never give back..Their loss.
kadesma


----------



## luvs

i'm feverish & cranky & i wanna sleep but i can't. 
gonna plop into my tub & take a cool bath.


----------



## pdswife

Please feel better soon!!!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

jpmcgrew said:


> It doesn't just happen to kids it just happened to me at 50 years old. A couple of years ago the ranch hired a new head of maintenance and of course there were people here at the ranch that were just hateful to him and his wife including my good neighbor but DH and I don't hate someone just because some other people do. Any way we became good friends and my neighbor decided I was not worth her time because of it but I don't care to hate for no reason. Dh and I were their only friends for the longest time and I thought we were pretty tight. About 2 months ago the wife decided not to deal with us anymore she has lost a lot of weight so I don't know if that's it or if I did something to piss her off. But it just seemed like they came over less and less and don't invite us over anymore they are still friendly but when I asked her why they do not come over anymore she said that they were just to busy.I did notice she became really friendly actually they are really tight with another couple that live just across from them . I'm so confused since DH and I stuck with them so long and now they can't seem to be bothered with us anymore. I have never ever made a new friend and then decide my current friend would be out of the picture in my mind the more friends the better. I know it sounds so high school but my feelings were really hurt. I know I should confront her but just have not wanted to as of yet.


This happened to me a year ago, too, and it still hurts today. The wife was one of my best friends for over 9 years and the kids were my kids' best friends all that time. We did so many things together with the kids and our husbands were friendly, too. They even lived here in my guest house for a year while they were paying off medical debt. They are great people - really good parents and they work very hard in their jobs. I don't know what happened - no argument or disagreement. Just no further contact. What hurts the most is that I really miss the kids - I love them like they were a niece and nephew. My kids "chat" online with them and play games online with them but the kids are never allowed to get together.


----------



## jpmcgrew

kadesma said:


> Of course you're hurt and a tad angry..You're wondering what YOU did..Nothing, you were just to nice and people tend to take advantage of it...Sit back and remember all you did, then pat yourself of the back and say nuts, I'm not going to let me get so upset I'll do something silly..Just be YOU and if you have to say something..Then just let her know you're sorry she has chosen to walk away and that your door is open, but you are not the doormat..Then I'd turn away and just let myself find something I love doing and had put aside to do things with them, and begin doing what makes me happy..Do not let an ingrate make you unhappy..They are not worth it.You gave, they took..Chances are they take from all but never give back..Their loss.
> kadesma


 Thank You, Kades I don't even try to itemize all I did for them, another friend on the ranch said that you would think they would want all the friends they could get here. I have absorbed back into my crafts and such but now it's hard to put myself out there for someone again. People that really know me always say I have a heart of gold but it seems the the ones I really go out on the line for just don't appreciate it. As the saying gos "No good deed gos unpunished. Dh is is as mystified as I am but we are not the type to push the issue. Then again maybe there is just a  great misunderstanding but if that is the case I would think they would have said something.


----------



## jpmcgrew

Fisher's Mom said:


> This happened to me a year ago, too, and it still hurts today. The wife was one of my best friends for over 9 years and the kids were my kids' best friends all that time. We did so many things together with the kids and our husbands were friendly, too. They even lived here in my guest house for a year while they were paying off medical debt. They are great people - really good parents and they work very hard in their jobs. I don't know what happened - no argument or disagreement. Just no further contact. What hurts the most is that I really miss the kids - I love them like they were a niece and nephew. My kids "chat" online with them and play games online with them but the kids are never allowed to get together.


 One would think at our age these things don't happen it's so high school. You would think that when you are so committed to a friendship it would continue but alas not so. It's something I will never understand. I for one will continue to do nice things for people as it's my nature I don't expect anything back but when you invest so much of your heart in certain people it can be really hard to understand why they did what they did. Makes absolutely no sense.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Yeah, it makes no sense to me either, JP, but it sure hurts.


----------



## expatgirl

I have a vent about people being insensitive and not caring either.  For the past 6 months on and off I've been attempting to learn how to play bridge with 4-6 other "newbies". It's not an easy game and we have to refer to notes--bidding is the hardest thing to do.   We have a good time, clap when our opponents win, cheer each other on and don't keep score.  For some time we had heard about this Greta who woud be joining us soon and how she was such an experienced player but that she was very serious about the game.  Ok, so today she comes.  Long story short, after the game where we were down by 2 against her and her partner she announces to everyone that I was a bad player.  I was shocked and so was everyone else.  Usually easy-going I shot back that that was not a very nice thing to say esp. since we were all inexperienced players.  I might be inexperienced but I was NOT a bad player and I would NEVER say that to somebody.  She said that you shouldn't play all your high cards first and that you should wait.  Well, that's exactly what all of us had been doing for the past 6 months.  I replied well you could have said that without calling me a "bad player".  We all do it and everyone nodded and agreed.  Did she apologize?  Nope.............Well, I had my revenge.  Because the next round she and her partner won the bid and at the end of the game we had them down by "3" (as I was going after her with a vengeance) whereas when we won the bid they had us down by 2.  Let's see--------if I go by her logic then she must have been a worse player than myself and if I had been a rude, insensitive boor I would have teased her about it.  But as difficult as it was I kept silent but smiling.  So was everyone of the newbies.  She shut the **** up and there was no more name calling the rest of the morning.  It was the most wonderful feeling in the world.  I'm still in shock, though, over the insensitivity of the comment.


----------



## Bilby

when my dad died, almost all of the friends that mum and dad had, dropped mum.  The really strange part in that is that the women were the ones who were the main friends in the groupings.  People are generally all strange in their own ways and most of the time we never understand why someone does what they did.  Still can annoy the bones out of you. Not to mention how hurtful it is to lose friends whether for a good reason or no reason.  give it time and all might revert to normal again, - if you are still interested.


----------



## suziquzie

Hopefully she wont be invited back?
I get really upset about stuff like that... makes me not even want to go anywhere sometimes just cuz i cant stand rude snotty people, which seem to be a dime a dozen these days.


----------



## expatgirl

Fisher's Mom said:


> You too????? I knew _everything_ about being a perfect parent until I became one.



I cringe at how I thought I could do a better job------oh, my......now it's so much fun to watch my son try and handle my granddaughter!


----------



## expatgirl

Bilby said:


> when my dad died, almost all of the friends that mum and dad had, dropped mum.  The really strange part in that is that the women were the ones who were the main friends in the groupings.  People are generally all strange in their own ways and most of the time we never understand why someone does what they did.  Still can annoy the bones out of you. Not to mention how hurtful it is to lose friends whether for a good reason or no reason.  give it time and all might revert to normal again, - if you are still interested.



That's sad, Bilby---people are funny as you say.  I've only dropped two friends in the last couple of years-------one for being so pathologically stingy even though she's rolling in $$$ (and we're talking several million) (the story of how she treated her father's stepchildren who had nothing-- and tried to sell me their mother's  modest ring instead of giving it back to them for a keepsake--the other was brewing for a long time.  I hope that things will get back to normal for her.


----------



## expatgirl

suziquzie said:


> Hopefully she wont be invited back?
> I get really upset about stuff like that... makes me not even want to go anywhere sometimes just cuz i cant stand rude snotty people, which seem to be a dime a dozen these days.



Well, one of the other people had played with Greta before and had mentioned how nervous she made her when she played ..........there's no excuse for her snotty behaviour----she knew that we were not experienced players and for her to say that to me after one game????????  Revenge was sweet---but that's not how we usually play---we normally cheer each other on for winning---noone is cheered for making the other team lose their bid but today there was a silent party going on let me tell you!!!  God, life is too short to get that stupid over a card game.  There are far more serious matters.........


----------



## Bilby

expatgirl said:


> That's sad, Bilby---people are funny as you say. I've only dropped two friends in the last couple of years-------one for being so pathologically stingy even though she's rolling in $$$ (and we're talking several million) (the story of how she treated her father's stepchildren who had nothing-- and tried to sell me their mother's modest ring instead of giving it back to them for a keepsake--the other was brewing for a long time. I hope that things will get back to normal for her.


thanks Expat but she is well and truly over it now.  Dad will have been dead for 25 years next Saturday!  she has new friends now.


----------



## kadesma

Bilby said:


> when my dad died, almost all of the friends that mum and dad had, dropped mum.  The really strange part in that is that the women were the ones who were the main friends in the groupings.  People are generally all strange in their own ways and most of the time we never understand why someone does what they did.  Still can annoy the bones out of you. Not to mention how hurtful it is to lose friends whether for a good reason or no reason.  give it time and all might revert to normal again, - if you are still interested.


Bilby, what happened to you mom, was mean, rude and hurtful..Your mother probably wondered what she did..I've seen it over and over..The other women are like school girls protecting what is theirs!!! In other words, your mom could maybe steal a DH away..Like she'd even think of it..But most of the time men  tend to think your helpless and want to help you and the gang of women cannot understand that..That is til heaven forbid they are in your mom's place..Your mom bless her must be on nice lady..Give her a hug for me. I can't hug mine anymore, so I pass them to others mom's

kades


----------



## jpmcgrew

kadesma said:


> Bilby, what happened to you mom, was mean, rude and hurtful..Your mother probably wondered what she did..I've seen it over and over..The other women are like school girls protecting what is theirs!!! In other words, your mom could maybe steal a DH away..Like she'd even think of it..But most of the time men tend to think your helpless and want to help you and the gang of women cannot understand that..That is til heaven forbid they are in your mom's place..Your mom bless her must be on nice lady..Give her a hug for me. I can't hug mine anymore, so I pass them to others mom's
> 
> kades


 You would think people would do the opposite by embracing the one who is going thru a hard time. I guess that says a lot about some people you thought were a good friend. I guess that's where the "fair weather friends" comes in, it's funny you would never in a million years expect such callous behavior until it actually happens. Shame on all of them.


----------



## Bilby

Thanks Kades.  That's exactly what mum thought was happening. Stupid thing is these people had all been friends for best part of two decades!  well shot of em in my opinion.  Of course mum could have done with the support then.


----------



## Bilby

jpmcgrew said:


> You would think people would do the opposite by embracing the one who is going thru a hard time. I guess that says a lot about some people you thought were a good friend. I guess that's where the "fair weather friends" comes in, it's funny you would never in a million years expect such callous behavior until it actually happens. Shame on all of them.


very true JP


----------



## expatgirl

I'm so glad to hear that your "mum" has moved on and has better than "fair-weathered" friends........she's lucky to have you looking out for her best interests


----------



## LEFSElover

you know Bilby, people are strange.  you can't try to figure them out.  I've wondered many times why people are cut from the cloth they are, but then, if we were all alike, that'd be difficult too.  I say take your mum out for a wonderful brunch and talk about the fun times...


----------



## Bilby

Actually I had a chat about this with mum on the weekend.  It is such a long time ago now, she can only remember the one couple, although she remember a couple more lots that I didn't think of and don't really count as they were dad's friends from work, so that wasn't that odd in my opinion.  We did have a good laugh about it.

At the moment, she is staying with my brother on the ocean down south.  She will be with them for dad's anniversary.  I have debated about reminding my brother but don't want to offend him if he has remembered.  [Some of his memories are a little hit or miss I find but I expect that is mainly from being the boy in the family and not anticipating while he was growing up that he would need to know any dates! LOL Times have changed somewhat!! ;-)]  I figured that if he hasn't remembered, I will just take mum out when she gets back the next day.  And if he did, well that's good.  This is always ignoring that my mother has a voice and knows how to use it if she wants to!! ;-)


----------



## Bilby

LEFSElover said:


> I say take your mum out for a wonderful brunch and talk about the fun times...


Actually, we usually go out for lunch on dad's birthday, their wedding anniversary and the anniversary of his death. We normally get something with a few bubbles in and toast him.  We don't just remember the good times. We are a warts and all kind of family.  

I was in hospital for last year's anniversary, so we went out around Father's Day instead and put our small lottery winning towards a very expensive, not to mention very long, lunch.  It was divine!  Mind you would have been completely wasted on dad who would probably preferred steak and chips with rhubarb and apple pie with custard for dessert!! You get that!


----------



## LEFSElover

Bilby, you say your brother may not remember and you are worried about offending.  Why not say to  him, "So comforted to hear mum will be with you on 'that' specific day as it's hard enough for her, being with you though, I know she'll feel more comfortable.  Thanks for having her on dad's anniversary, it means a lot."  Just a suggestion


----------



## Bilby

Thanks for the suggestion LEFSE but we just don't have that sort of relationship.  It's either out with it or keep schtumm.  Mum and I talked about it when she was choosing which day to come home on, and she knows what they are like as a family and was prepared for the throw of the dice.  She chose to come home the day AFTER the anniversary.  On Sunday when I pick her up, she and I will either have a laugh at where their heads are screwed on or have a laugh that they remembered!  LOL I think mum has gone down there with the attitude to see what happens cos even if he does remember, there is no guarantee that he will feel comfortable bringing it up or marking the occasion.  He and I are vastly different creatures.  Sometimes, I need to take a backseat, and I think this is one of those times.


----------



## Maverick2272

*Venting frustration/ISO advice*

The frustration:
It has been two months since my triple bi-pass, and the chest pains are still there. Supposed to start PT this week, had to delay as the won't let me participate unless I bring my glucometer and test before exercising. Mg/Dl has to be below 300 per their rules. I am out of test strips and am having a hard time getting a new prescription for them as my PCP is on vacation and no one else seems to want to make the decision to just write it out without seeing me first. The prescription is there in my file, just expired for renewals and needs them to either just OK the re-fill with Walgreens, or write a new one with X number of refills.
I won't see the Cardiologist for another month, and when calling over they say wait or go to the emergency room. I do not think I need to go to the ER, and wasn't the surgery supposed to end this problem? At the time they thought I might need a quadruple but settled on a triple, maybe they should have done the quadruple.
One group of Dr's says just wait it out, it will get better. The other says I should have another angiogram done to check on additional blockages. Until they agree, I am stuck in the middle again like I was before the surgery. I would rather not have another heart attack while waiting on them to decide on a course of action (which is what happened last time.

The Advice:

I always tell DW Clients are Clients and not friends, never mix the two. But, one couple has become just that. Great people, had us over for a dinner party going on 3 years ago when we completed their first garden.
One is an antique dealer, the other is of all things a Heart Surgean/Cardiologist and a darn good one. One of his hospitals he works with is Loyola. A very good hospital.
He knows what is going on thru DW, and wants me to leave a list of my meds with him for review. He also wants me to drop the cardiologist at my hospital and go to Loyola. My heart surgeon is there, and he wants to work with him to take a closer look and get a decision made, plan in place, etc. He says it is possible to have a heart attack even after a triple, and they cant get all the blockages at once plus some just plain get more blocked up after the surgery and they have no choice but to operate again. He definetely seems more action orientated and knowledgable as he has done a much better job of explaining possible causes and courses of treatment.
I certainly appreciate the offer, but am worried about mixing business and personal. 

What would you do?


----------



## Bilby

First and foremost, you need to be checked out by someone.  I don't know what a PCP is - is that the term you use for your family doctor? If so, can you just go to someone in the same practice?  If not, go to your family doctor and at least get him look you over.

I have several specialists and a general GP.  Everyone defers to the nephrologist though for general care and monitoring.  (The quicker they can give me the flick, the happier they seem to be!! LOL  Poor GP can't get rid of me though!! LOL)  When they go on holiday, I go to whoever can access my file (within their field).  I can understand not wanting just anyone to do something major to you, but for "maintenance", anyone qualified really will do.

As to the personal/business relationship - it happens.  Usually the sky doesn't fall down when it does.  If you are comfortable with the chap, I think you should say to him, look I really don't want to stop seeing my cardiologist but would appreciate your assistance in this instance.  My brother wants me to change GP's (Family Doctor) to his friend who practices only a few minutes from my house rather than the half an hour I now travel.  His friend I am sure is very good and is a lovely chap - he was groomsman at my brother's wedding and my partner (wedding sense only) some twenty plus years ago.  In one sense, I am happy to oblige but there are just some things that I wouldn't want to consult Greg for - I mean, he's my brother's friend and has known me since I was a little girl.  But I would if I had to.

End of the day, just see someone and don't worry about the PT until this is resolved.  And any medical person who just says to ignore it without looking you over, should be ignored.  IMO


----------



## expatgirl

what would I do??? Maverick, first of all I would kick your butt....get yourself to the doctor and get more tests run if you need another bypass then so be it..but things are the way they are and maybe all is going to be well with the triple but get youself to a reputable doctor nonetheless----I know that transient heart pains are a consequence of heart surgery so I'm not going to dispute that fact....you are definitely worried or you wouldn't share your concerns...please see someone reputable...you don't sound really sure of your present doctor.....it's your heart and life


----------



## DawnT

Mav, *HELLO!!??!!* Go get yourself checked.  If your PCP is with a group, any one will do.  As for the cardioligist - you are entitled to a second and third opinion, so go talk to your friend's cardiologist!  *AFTER* your get *CHECKED*.


----------



## Maverick2272

DW said she is going to go ahead and talk to her client about a second opinion. She says he has already hinted several times I should leave my hospital and go to Loyola. Even if I don't see him at Loyola, I would be seeing someone he knows.
DW is going to talk to him next time we are up there.
Bilby, a PCP is a Primary Care Physician. I love mine, but she is not a cardiologist, so the only thing she can do is give me a referral to one. She was right there with me the whole way pushing them to do more tests until they found the blockages.
If I decide to take DW's client up on his offer, she would more than readily give me a referral to see him or whoever he told me I should see.
And I am sure when she comes back from vacation and finds out they didn't cover her patients right, there will be consequences. But in the meantime, I am still stuck on that.


----------



## kadesma

Well guys, friday was something and saturday was a doozy...Friday the staff at the pharmacy kept hearing a moaning groaning coming from the ceiling, then they noticed some water seepage..Upshot was store evacuated, we made the news as the store selling drugs on the street..And that is the way it will be for the next 3 months..DH and partner are going to really have a hands full situation..We have a post office and pay station in there tons of gifts..so it's like now what..This is really hard to take, but a big thank heaven nobody was hurt,venting well a little,crying is more like it.
kadesma


----------



## Katie H

Okay, cj, I'm confused.  Moaning and water seeping from the ceiling?  Was there a body there?  Pharmacy?  I'm kinda new to your background.


----------



## texasgirl

kadesma said:


> Well guys, friday was something and saturday was a doozy...Friday the staff at the pharmacy kept hearing a moaning groaning coming from the ceiling, then they noticed some water seepage..Upshot was store evacuated, we made the news as the store selling drugs on the street..And that is the way it will be for the next 3 months..DH and partner are going to really have a hands full situation..We have a post office and pay station in there tons of gifts..so it's like now what..This is really hard to take, but a big thank heaven nobody was hurt,venting well a little,crying is more like it.
> kadesma


 
You have been through so much this past year! You are the strongest person I know right now and with your loving family, you will get through this and everything will be better than it is now. I love you and so does everyone here. I will think of you and pray for you everyday until it's better!!


----------



## kadesma

texasgirl said:


> You have been through so much this past year! You are the strongest person I know right now and with your loving family, you will get through this and everything will be better than it is now. I love you and so does everyone here. I will think of you and pray for you everyday until it's better!!


Thanks Stacy,
that really helps right now..Know, you are loved back..As is  the rest of my DC family
cj


----------



## kadesma

Katie E said:


> Okay, cj, I'm confused.  Moaning and water seeping from the ceiling?  Was there a body there?  Pharmacy?  I'm kinda new to your background.


Katie the pharmacy has a very high ceiling with large heavy beams..They kept making a crackling, moaning,groaning sound all morning.They kept hearing a poping noise every so often, the water came from pipes in the wall where the bathrooms were..fire dept said get out..Only staff can go in now, we meet customers at the front door with their rx's.My DH is a pharmacist I was his tech...we had several pharmacies and still own part of this one..Nope we found NO BODIES
cj


----------



## Adillo303

Wow! I came here to vent after a disappoitment, my troubles are little.

Maverick - I rode ambulance for 6 years, was president of the squad for four of those years, and a national registry EMT. By far my saddest call was taking a man to the morgue that had not taken care of obvious symptoms of heart problems. Please do whatever you have to do to see someone. If you have had a tripple and do not feel comfortable, then a thorough checkup by someone else will, if nothing else, give you peace of mind that you are on the right course. Please see someone - preferable someone other than you are now seeing and get a second set of eyes on the problem. We are talking about your life here.

Kadesma - I am very sorry to hear of your problems. I run my own business and know the extra stress of doing that. I do not recall seeing whether or not you own the building or not. If you rent you may get some financial relief, at least.

My minor propbem - I have done a lot of cooking for company and friends lately. Since I believe that the best compliments come unsolicited, from others, I have absolutely basked in the compliments. It is great. I am also thankful for the folks here who helped me earn those compliments.

Today, all the company is gone and I had an opportunity to do something for just me. I wanted sourdough bread. I started last night and fed the starter. 6:00 this morning, I made the sponge. Let it rise five hours, got a great rise out of it, best yet. I finished the dough and let rise for the first time. Three hours rise time, no hurry, I had all day and no deadlines. Punched it down and formed the loaves. Put it on top of the stove to rise for the last time. I went outside to help my DW plant some flowers. When I came in to see what was happening, I got to watch one of my Labradors finsih off the last of the loaves od dough.

Bummer

AC


----------



## babetoo

my vent tonight is store clerks that have no clue what they are doing.

on line i found a floor tile for my kitchen that i loved. noted item number , and stock number. it said was special order from store, lowes, 

called my local lowes, credit card in one  hand and info in the other.  the first clerk i was transfered to m  i thought was a clerk in flooring, who really was in bbqs. said he had to go to a puter to do the order, put me on hold, three min. he seemed not to understand special orders. put me on hold, came back and took all the info. we got to the credit card part and he had no clue, he thought he had put me on hold. but i heard him talking to a mgn. he didn't seem to understand either. first guy comes back and says he will transfer me to a mgn, he put me on hold. five mins on hold, the mgn comes on, he did not have the product info i had just given the first guy. gave it all again, then we did credit card. he said he needed to take the transation to the check out counter. he put me on hold. five min.(must have been a long walk)came on and said they would finish order and call me. 

forty five min. later he called, said was taken care of and did i know there were no returns on special orders. i said yes. we confirmed pick up date . 

finally done. what a pain in the butt. i loved the tile and have been coveting it for several months. couldn't find anywhere else near to me for a better price. now u tell me why they don't train anyone that deals with customers how to conduct business? 

next is the twisted road i will have to travel to get it installed by the disappering handy man. lol

thanks i feel better

babe


----------



## Dina

My 5 year old got a gash on his head last night.  He tried to hang the towel on the rack and came down on the tile hard.  Luckily the tube from the rack didn't hurt his face.  We rushed to find a night clinic but nothing was open on Sunday evening.  Argh!  The bleeding stopped with the pressure and the bandaging so we decided to take him to his pediatrician this morning.  He luckily does not need stitches.My 14 year old son developed a lump on his neck (throat).  He too was at the pediatrician's office this a.m.  Dr. outruled strep so ordered some blood work and a sonogram.  He mentioned a possible case of mono.  I'm really nervous of the outcome but we're hoping for the best.  Would you please say a little prayer for him?


----------



## pdswife

yes, sure would.


----------



## kadesma

Dina said:


> My 5 year old got a gash on his head last night.  He tried to hang the towel on the rack and came down on the tile hard.  Luckily the tube from the rack didn't hurt his face.  We rushed to find a night clinic but nothing was open on Sunday evening.  Argh!  The bleeding stopped with the pressure and the bandaging so we decided to take him to his pediatrician this morning.  He luckily does not need stitches.My 14 year old son developed a lump on his neck (throat).  He too was at the pediatrician's office this a.m.  Dr. outruled strep so ordered some blood work and a sonogram.  He mentioned a possible case of mono.  I'm really nervous of the outcome but we're hoping for the best.  Would you please say a little prayer for him?


Prayers,hugs and kisses on the way.
kadesma


----------



## expatgirl

Man, Dina, when it rains it pours.  My daughter had a routine blood test once and it showed that she had antibodies for mono.  Sometime before the age of 16 she had contracted it.  Unless your son is extremely tired and more so than usual and he's running fevers try and remain calm.........my daughter was always tired as she tends to burn the candle at both end....main thing until you get confirmation is not to eat or drink after him from the same dishes


----------



## Barbara L

You can count on my prayers as well Dina.

Barbara


----------



## DawnT

Adding my prayers as well!!  HUGS!!


----------



## pdswife

Paul's been sick... cold, sore throat, coughing...( for about two weeks)
I work today
have to fill out new employment papers and do errands tomorrow
David and shannon are coming over for dinner Thursday. I promised David a GOOD dinner.
Friday the in-laws are coming in for the weekend.
Start the new job on Tuesday...

I woke up this morning all stuffy and my throat is
killing me.

I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO BE SICK!!!!


----------



## LPBeier

More prayers going up Dina.  I was tested for mono when I was about 15.  I had all the symptoms but it turned out to be a mild form of anemia treated with some iron.  Let us know how it turns out.  I am sure glad your little one is okay.  We have problems with getting medical attention on Sunday evenings around here too.


----------



## Dina

Thank you for your prayers.  He hasn't showed symptoms of mono- no fever or extreme tiredness just coughing and congestion which dr recommended antihistimine.  I will keep you posted on the results in the next couple of days.  If the CBC does not show mono, then we'll have to go get the sonogram, take him to a specialist (ENT) then perhaps a biopsy of the lump.


----------



## LPBeier

pdswife said:


> Paul's been sick... cold, sore throat, coughing...( for about two weeks)
> I work today
> have to fill out new employment papers and do errands tomorrow
> David and shannon are coming over for dinner Thursday. I promised David a GOOD dinner.
> Friday the in-laws are coming in for the weekend.
> Start the new job on Tuesday...
> 
> I woke up this morning all stuffy and my throat is
> killing me.
> 
> I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO BE SICK!!!!


 
Prayers and good thoughts about good health going your way PDS.  Get rest when you can.


----------



## B'sgirl

pdswife said:


> Paul's been sick... cold, sore throat, coughing...( for about two weeks)
> I work today
> have to fill out new employment papers and do errands tomorrow
> David and shannon are coming over for dinner Thursday. I promised David a GOOD dinner.
> Friday the in-laws are coming in for the weekend.
> Start the new job on Tuesday...
> 
> I woke up this morning all stuffy and my throat is
> killing me.
> 
> I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO BE SICK!!!!



So sorry you are not feeling well! Put your in-laws to work for you.


----------



## pdswife

I shall make MIL work out in the yard.  LOL... she loves it!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Dina, I'm so sorry to hear about your boys' troubles. I wanted to share with you what happened to one of my sons when he was 7. I found a large lump on the side of his chest near the armpit that hadn't been there the day before. He had been playing with a stray kitten the previous few weeks so I thought it might be cat scratch fever, but took him to the doc anyway. She said it couldn't be that because it wasn't painful at all and he never got sick. She sent us to a surgeon who said the same thing and said he thought it was a lymph node and it had to be biopsied to check for lymphoma.

Next morning, they took it out and came out to tell us it was definitely a lymph node and no sign of infection so it was probably lymphoma, but it would take 2 days for pathology. I spent 2 days scared out of my wits and guess what - it was cat scratch fever! They said he just must have a very very strong immune system not to have gotten sick or anything. So if your son has had any contact with a stray cat, be sure and mention it to the docs. And good luck. I'll be waiting anxiously til we hear all is well.
Terry


----------



## Fisher's Mom

My own vent is that I am at my mom's trying to help her get everything done but we can't because the medical examiner still hasn't issued a death certificate for my brother. It's a large city and they have a backlog. The funeral home said it could take as long as 4 months! It's driving my mom crazy. (They did release his body though and we were able to have him cremated already, thankfully.) Anybody else have any experience with this? I do remember it took 2 weeks to get my dad's and he died in a hospital so there was no medical examiner involved.


----------



## Dina

Fisher's Mom said:


> Dina, I'm so sorry to hear about your boys' troubles. I wanted to share with you what happened to one of my sons when he was 7. I found a large lump on the side of his chest near the armpit that hadn't been there the day before. He had been playing with a stray kitten the previous few weeks so I thought it might be cat scratch fever, but took him to the doc anyway. She said it couldn't be that because it wasn't painful at all and he never got sick. She sent us to a surgeon who said the same thing and said he thought it was a lymph node and it had to be biopsied to check for lymphoma.
> 
> Next morning, they took it out and came out to tell us it was definitely a lymph node and no sign of infection so it was probably lymphoma, but it would take 2 days for pathology. I spent 2 days scared out of my wits and guess what - it was cat scratch fever! They said he just must have a very very strong immune system not to have gotten sick or anything. So if your son has had any contact with a stray cat, be sure and mention it to the docs. And good luck. I'll be waiting anxiously til we hear all is well.
> Terry


 
Just asked my son about him coming in contact with cats but he hasn't at all.  I did check other symptoms of mono and some kids develop lumps in the neck area.  I got a call from his pediatrician asking me to go ahead and get the ultrasound done immediately.  He wants all tests done before he can diagnose.  I'm still waiting and hopefully will get a call later today from the dr.


----------



## Dina

Fisher's Mom said:


> My own vent is that I am at my mom's trying to help her get everything done but we can't because the medical examiner still hasn't issued a death certificate for my brother. It's a large city and they have a backlog. The funeral home said it could take as long as 4 months! It's driving my mom crazy. (They did release his body though and we were able to have him cremated already, thankfully.) Anybody else have any experience with this? I do remember it took 2 weeks to get my dad's and he died in a hospital so there was no medical examiner involved.


 
So sorry to hear about your brother's passing.  I hope all issues get resolved and your mom is finally relieved from it all.  Prayers for your family are coming your way.


----------



## texasgirl

They did the biopsy on BIL. It is definately Mesothelioma. Doctor gave him 6 months to live. I don't feel to well now.


----------



## Katie H

texasgirl said:


> They did the biopsy on BIL. It is definately Mesothelioma. Doctor gave him 6 months to live. I don't feel to well now.



Stacy, I'm  so sorry.  Love  and prayers from Buck and me are sent to you and BIL and family.


----------



## *amy*

Fisher's Mom said:


> My own vent is that I am at my mom's trying to help her get everything done but we can't because the medical examiner still hasn't issued a death certificate for my brother. It's a large city and they have a backlog. The funeral home said it could take as long as 4 months! It's driving my mom crazy. (They did release his body though and we were able to have him cremated already, thankfully.) Anybody else have any experience with this? I do remember it took 2 weeks to get my dad's and he died in a hospital so there was no medical examiner involved.


 
I'm sorry for you & your family's loss, FM. My situation is prob different than yours. Being the only surviving child, to settle my mother's estate (in NY), I had to get everyone's DC sent to California. It was some time after the fact, though. Had I been in NY, I may have gotten them sooner going to the hall of vital records (?). I downloaded the forms, filled them out, enclosed a check etc & it took over a month. The only thing I can think of is to check w a vital records dept in your state. Hope that helps. Again, my condolences to you & yours.


----------



## babetoo

Katie E said:


> Stacy, I'm so sorry. Love and prayers from Buck and me are sent to you and BIL and family.


 

oh my dear , what a tragic thing. for u and the rest of his family. how old is he?  heres a BIG HUG 


babe


----------



## jpmcgrew

Dina said:


> So sorry to hear about your brother's passing. I hope all issues get resolved and your mom is finally relieved from it all. Prayers for your family are coming your way.


 Sometimes you can talk to the coroner directly and tell him your situation I did that when my dad died as my brother lived in Oregon and I lived in New Mexico my dad lived in Georgia the coroner came thru for us. You live in a large city but it's worth a try. You would be surprised what you can get if you just ask and explain your situation.


----------



## jpmcgrew

texasgirl said:


> They did the biopsy on BIL. It is definately Mesothelioma. Doctor gave him 6 months to live. I don't feel to well now.


 I'm so,. so sorry to hear this. Just know me and all of DC are here for you. My prayers go to your BIL and you and all of your family.


----------



## JoAnn L.

Fisher's Mom said:


> My own vent is that I am at my mom's trying to help her get everything done but we can't because the medical examiner still hasn't issued a death certificate for my brother. It's a large city and they have a backlog. The funeral home said it could take as long as 4 months! It's driving my mom crazy. (They did release his body though and we were able to have him cremated already, thankfully.) Anybody else have any experience with this? I do remember it took 2 weeks to get my dad's and he died in a hospital so there was no medical examiner involved.


 

I am so sorry for what you and your mom are going through. I had to take care of things when my grandmother, mother and father died. When mom died dad had a heart attack. So he was in intensive care when I buried mom. If it wasn't for my 5 children being there for me I don't think I would have made it. Thank God for our familys.


----------



## JoAnn L.

texasgirl said:


> They did the biopsy on BIL. It is definately Mesothelioma. Doctor gave him 6 months to live. I don't feel to well now.


 
 My thoughts and prayers go out to your BIL. May it help you in some way to know that all of us here at DC are sharing in your pain.


----------



## kadesma

texasgirl said:


> They did the biopsy on BIL. It is definately Mesothelioma. Doctor gave him 6 months to live. I don't feel to well now.


Stacy,
I'm sorry to hear this..This kind of thing is so hard to handle..You feel helpless and angry and wonder what to do..Just be you Stacy, if you have to cry, get angry and yell..But remember, there are many who love you and will cry and be angry, yell and scream with you..We all care and want to do what ever we can to ease you hurt..We are here Stacy..Take care of you, your family especially your sister need to lean on you right now.
cj


----------



## Barbara L

Stacy, I'm so sorry to hear this.  I'm really at a loss for words.  You can count on my prayers as he goes through this.  

Fisher's Mom, I pray everything is resolved very soon.

Barbara


----------



## LPBeier

texasgirl said:


> They did the biopsy on BIL. It is definately Mesothelioma. Doctor gave him 6 months to live. I don't feel to well now.


 
Stacey, my heart and prayers go out to you and your family.  I know you have your interview tomorrow and it will be hard to stay focused.  Know that you will be lifted in prayer and thoughts.  Take care.


----------



## expatgirl

oh, goodness, this isn't news that I was expecting.......oh, I'm just sick........I'm so sorry......I'm tearing up as I write this, Stacy.........your poor brother and family.....


----------



## texasgirl

You guys are great friends! I don't know how my sister is going to handle this. Not only losing her husband, but, his family when he is gone. They are the kind that leaches from you for life. They always made him do things that needed to be done, because he's got his own company therefore the money, which, is really not true. His 3 brothers and sister have always worked for him. I dread what is coming from them and his worthless kids. He hasn't even seen 2 of them in about 10 years, but, I'll bet she will get it from them too. It's a real mess and I'm afraid for my sister's sanity. Thank you for your loving thoughts and if you will, keep my sister and bil in your prayers.


----------



## B'sgirl

That is just so sad! I hope he is able to beat the odds or at least prepare himself and his family for what is to come!


----------



## pdswife

Good thoughts and prayers have been sent.


----------



## Dina

I'm so sorry to hear this Stacy. My prayers are with your family.

My son goes in tomorrow morning to see a surgeon. The lump on the neck is not a lymph node but a mass of some sort. Although the blood count came out normal and doesn't show signs of cancerous cells he will probably need a biopsy to check what it is. Please keep him in your prayers.


----------



## LPBeier

Dina, you and your son are both in my prayers.  I know how frightening this must be for you.  I am glad you have gotten the appointment so quickly.


----------



## Maverick2272

We will pray for you as well.


----------



## JoAnn L.

Dina, you son will be in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you both.


----------



## texasgirl

Dina, praying all goes well!!


----------



## pdswife

fingers crossed!!


----------



## Bilby

Gee, I only stepped away from the computer for a few days and it seems to have been a monsterous time for several of you!  I am so sorry to hear of the problems DC members have been experiencing recently but especially to Terry, Dina and Stacy.  My thoughts are with you.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Dina said:


> I'm so sorry to hear this Stacy. My prayers are with your family.
> 
> My son goes in tomorrow morning to see a surgeon. The lump on the neck is not a lymph node but a mass of some sort. Although the blood count came out normal and doesn't show signs of cancerous cells he will probably need a biopsy to check what it is. Please keep him in your prayers.


Oh Dina, I'm really sorry. Reading this gave me a sick feeling in my stomach because I have a 15 yo son too and I know how scared I'd be. It's encouraging that his blood work is all good and he's a healthy guy and I'm sure it will all be good in the end, but till then it's _awful_. Please let us know what the surgeon says. I'm sending your son healing vibes and sending you a big hug from one mama to another.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Aww Stacy, I'm so sorry about your BIL. Aside from getting this _awful_ news, how is he doing physically? Is he able to get around? Do you live near your sister? How is she handling the news? I will keep them in my thoughts and prayers and please keep us updated.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

jpmcgrew said:


> Sometimes you can talk to the coroner directly and tell him your situation I did that when my dad died as my brother lived in Oregon and I lived in New Mexico my dad lived in Georgia the coroner came thru for us. You live in a large city but it's worth a try. You would be surprised what you can get if you just ask and explain your situation.


Thanks, JP. I did talk to the ME's office and they were super nice. It is in Houston, where my brother lived. They finally issued a pending death certificate which we _may_ be able to pick up on Friday. Since my brother died at home and he was only 50, the medical examiner autopsied him to find out why he died. They told me yesterday that, of course, there was no sign of foul play but there was also no grossly apparent cause of death - he didn't have another heart attack. So his fluids and tissues have been sent for multiple studies and it may take 4-6 months.

It could have been a problem with one of his heart meds. He got a letter yesterday from WalMart Pharmacy titled "Urgent Drug Recall". It seems one of his heart meds could have been from a lot that contained twice the amount of digitalis than it should have. The letter said to stop taking this med and call your doc immediately for further instruction. It said too much of this drug can cause sudden death.

I called the ME's office to tell them about this. They had taken all of his meds with them when they came to collect his body so I couldn't check the lot numbers on his prescription. They asked if I could fax them the letter and they would pay special attention to his digitalis levels.

I got home after midnight last night because my son's 16th birthday is tomorrow. Then it's back to Houston again on Saturday. Honestly, there has been so much to do and my mom's health is so poor that I've really been on auto-pilot for the past 2 weeks. Driving home last night it finally hit me and I cried all the way home. It was a really good cry. And even though my eyes are still swollen today and I look like crap, I feel much better. I know this is all TMI and I thank you for being my good friends who will let me vent this stuff.


----------



## B'sgirl

So sorry about all of this! I'm glad you feel better after a good cry. It sounds like like your theory about the medicine could really be the problem. How sad that they sent the letter too late!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

B'sgirl said:


> So sorry about all of this! I'm glad you feel better after a good cry. It sounds like like your theory about the medicine could really be the problem. How sad that they sent the letter too late!


Believe it or not, reading about your lovely baby girl's birth really helped me these past 2 weeks. Death is always sad, but a birth reminds us that "The Circle of Life" isn't just a song from a movie.


----------



## Dina

My son's diagnosis was a thyroglossal duct cyst that will require surgery.  The surgeon wants to get it done this summer once Justin's out of school.  We're still going to an ENT doctor for a second opinion for everyone's peace of mind.


----------



## Barbara L

Dina, I just saw this.  I'm glad the diagnosis wasn't as bad as I'm sure you feared.  I will continue to pray that the second opinion shows the same or even better.

Barbara


----------



## kadesma

Dina said:


> My son's diagnosis was a thyroglossal duct cyst that will require surgery.  The surgeon wants to get it done this summer once Justin's out of school.  We're still going to an ENT doctor for a second opinion for everyone's peace of mind.


Hang on Dina, it's time for things to get better..Prayers coming and good thoughts too..Lots of hugs to you and family..
kadesma


----------



## miniman

Good Dina - glad it is not too serious.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Dina said:


> My son's diagnosis was a thyroglossal duct cyst that will require surgery.  The surgeon wants to get it done this summer once Justin's out of school.  We're still going to an ENT doctor for a second opinion for everyone's peace of mind.


Wow, Dina, I just Googled this and it doesn't look like it is a pleasant thing. Is he having pain from it? I'm glad you are getting a second opinion just to be sure this is the right diagnosis and course of treatment. It's always scary to have a child require surgery. Will he have to have his thyroid monitored regularly after this? Please keep us posted and tell him there are lots of people thinking of him.


----------



## LPBeier

Dina, I am so glad this is getting taken care of, but yes, it is good you are not stopping here.  Prayers are still on their way to you, your son and the rest of your family.  Please do keep us posted and also know that you are not alone - we are here for you.


----------



## LPBeier

I just got off the phone with our "daughter".  She called yesterday to say that her belly button was sore (no she doesn't have a piercing) and she went to the doctor who kind of laughed at her that she would come at the first sign of pain and swelling there.  She was told by said doctor it could be part of one of the cold viruses that is going around (not serious) or to do with her reproductive system (serious when told to a 24 year old!) and no treatment was given.

Today it is full of puss, she cant get her pants done up and couldn't lived three trays at work (Mickey D's and she is a strong hard worker).  We are now taking her to emergency to see if we can get better answers. She is also scared out of her mind that is something serious and, that she will lose her new job for taking time off.  Please pray.


----------



## pdswife

Good luck!  Sounds so sore and painful.  Not good!!!


----------



## suziquzie

Hope everything is ok Laurie.


----------



## kadesma

Prayers on the way Laurie, also a great big bear hug for you and your daughter.
kades


----------



## Maverick2272

Ouch, hope it is nothing serious. I hate it when doctors act like that. I have taken the stance of telling them back, "OK Doogie if you are done playing doctor now, I would appreciate it if you could send a real one in."
They usually flip a bunch of attitude but it does work. Since I spend so much time at the hospital and/or doctors office I am constantly filling out the surveys. I take them very seriously and always let em know just exactly what I think of some of these guys...


----------



## texasgirl

Prayers that everything is okay Laurie!!!


----------



## Barbara L

I'm praying for your daughter as well Laurie.  Please let us know how everything goes.

Barbara


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks everyone for the thoughts and prayers.  Five hours in emergency later and she was sent home with some T3's and a requisition for an ultrasound as they believe it may be a cyst.  She doesn't know what time they will call her tomorrow and then she basically has to wait at the hospital and go back through emergency to get the results, and of course it will be a different doctor, with different ideas.  They wouldn't give her a note for work, either.

I am making her stay the night and told them to call here with the appointment.  She is so scared and I feel so helpless.  

Oh, another vent - her real mother called on my cell and blasted her for not telling her (the mother) that she was going to the hospital and that she had to find out by phoning Tara's work.  She told me that she was glad her daughter has someone to go to because it sure isn't her.  I left that can of worms alone.


----------



## LPBeier

Okay, now I am REALLY angry.

Our daughter stayed over night here and waited for the hospital to call for her ultrasound.   They never did and by noon she was worse than ever with pain, fever and the pain had spread.  So we went back to the ER and waited another 5 hours for the same doctor to see her.  He says "well I looked at your ultrasound and everything seems normal".  She tells him she hasn't had it yet and he says "why not? why are you here then?"  She says because they didn't call and the pain is worse and spreading.  He examines her and tells her it is 90% appendicitis and orders an IV, morphine and a CT scan.  We wait around another 3 hours for all this to happen and another doctor takes over and says that it isn't appendicitis but it might be a mild form of colitis.  Well, a friend of hers has colitis and is going for major surgery in September to remove the colon.  This puts DD in total fear and it takes DH and I all the way home to calm her down.  Now I am doing a whole pile of research on it for her.  She is sleeping now and hopefully the antibiotics and painkillers will cure the physical problems but I am not sure about her emotional state right now.

Thanks everyone for praying and please keep them coming.


----------



## kadesma

Oh Laurie,
what an awful day..Poor Tara, you both must be worn out..I tell you,this is where I'd really demand something be done and done right..This business of every doc on the pay roll strolling by and making a guess on what is wrong would make me crazy and rightfully very angry..It's bang the shoe on the desk time..Then girl needs HELP NOW..Take a deep breath, get some rest and you will be in my thoughts and prayers..
kadesma


----------



## miniman

Thinking of you and your girl. I hope you are seeing her doctor as soon as to get a second opinion.


----------



## babetoo

LPBeier said:


> Okay, now I am REALLY angry.
> 
> Our daughter stayed over night here and waited for the hospital to call for her ultrasound. They never did and by noon she was worse than ever with pain, fever and the pain had spread. So we went back to the ER and waited another 5 hours for the same doctor to see her. He says "well I looked at your ultrasound and everything seems normal". She tells him she hasn't had it yet and he says "why not? why are you here then?" She says because they didn't call and the pain is worse and spreading. He examines her and tells her it is 90% appendicitis and orders an IV, morphine and a CT scan. We wait around another 3 hours for all this to happen and another doctor takes over and says that it isn't appendicitis but it might be a mild form of colitis. Well, a friend of hers has colitis and is going for major surgery in September to remove the colon. This puts DD in total fear and it takes DH and I all the way home to calm her down. Now I am doing a whole pile of research on it for her. She is sleeping now and hopefully the antibiotics and painkillers will cure the physical problems but I am not sure about her emotional state right now.
> 
> Thanks everyone for praying and please keep them coming.


 
i would get a third doctor to take a look. neither of those possiblities are small things. my 16 year old granddaughter almost died of appendictis because they couldn't decide and it ruptured. 

your poor daughter, all they did was scare the hell out of her and you. makes me very angry for you, as well. 


babe


----------



## babetoo

there is a family on my street with budding musicans . they practice from bout now sometimes til 8 or 9 oclock. even that wouldn't be to bad, but they play the same song over and over. they have done this going on six months.

give me a break, they are across the street and down three houses and still sound like they are in my house. 

don't really know what to do. can't really complain to them, they don't speak english. there are rules about loud music of course. so many people in here forget that other people live very close to them. 

any ideas what to do?


babe


----------



## LPBeier

Babe, I don't know about where you live, but here we have city by-law officers who are there to help keep the city rules and you can call them for items like noise, neighbor's pets, illegally parked cars, etc.  If you don't have this, then call the non-emergency number of your local police station and report it.  They may not do anything the first time, but if you and enough other people register complaints they certainly will check it out.

I hope this helps.


----------



## texasgirl

LPB, how's your girl? Hope she's feeling better today!!


----------



## jpmcgrew

LPBeier said:


> Okay, now I am REALLY angry.
> 
> Our daughter stayed over night here and waited for the hospital to call for her ultrasound. They never did and by noon she was worse than ever with pain, fever and the pain had spread. So we went back to the ER and waited another 5 hours for the same doctor to see her. He says "well I looked at your ultrasound and everything seems normal". She tells him she hasn't had it yet and he says "why not? why are you here then?" She says because they didn't call and the pain is worse and spreading. He examines her and tells her it is 90% appendicitis and orders an IV, morphine and a CT scan. We wait around another 3 hours for all this to happen and another doctor takes over and says that it isn't appendicitis but it might be a mild form of colitis. Well, a friend of hers has colitis and is going for major surgery in September to remove the colon. This puts DD in total fear and it takes DH and I all the way home to calm her down. Now I am doing a whole pile of research on it for her. She is sleeping now and hopefully the antibiotics and painkillers will cure the physical problems but I am not sure about her emotional state right now.
> 
> Thanks everyone for praying and please keep them coming.


 
LP. I think you should do what I told Fishers Mom to do. You should try calling the head person of the Hospital or the head of all the doctors working there and talk to someone in charge explain your situation be genuine but not hysterical or angry and ask them what needs to be done and for a real diagnoses on the problem and because you are very concerned and that it is putting a lot of stress on your pregnant daughter who is young and scared and because of the plain fact these are serious issues. If that doe's not work go to a higher person in charge. Once you have run out of options contact a news TV station. Believe me if you are persistent chances are you will get results. Like I said don't get crazy or hostile be genuine just ask for help most people want to help, The TV is the last 
choice if nothing else works. If it's appendicitis or anything else it must be addressed immediately. I am in no way trying to scare you but I learned along time ago if you keep trying someone will come thru for you. Again stay calm on the phone but also convey how concerned you are. And last don't give up call and talk to everyone more than once if necessary for help and advice. Don't give up. You can also go on some medical websites and post your issues to another doctor to see whats up.
Also do not wait until tommorrow but start now.


----------



## jpmcgrew

LP, I also wanted to to tell you that if it's appendicitis it's not fixed by morphine, an Iv or Ct it is something that is removed immediatley by surgery before it has a chance to erupt. I am not a doctor but I have never ever heard of this kind of treatment for appendicitis. I have yet to get this but know people who have and I'm sure there are some here that have had it it's not something to mess with. As I said before you need to become a Bull Dog and get to the bottom of this.


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks everyone for your input.  First I just want to clear something up JP, I am not sure where this came up but she isn't pregnant at the moment.  Anyway, we are going to my doctor tomorrow morning.  She is connected with a different hospital than the one we were going to so if anything is needed in that way we will be going someplace different, which is totally fine with me.

I do plan to call the hospital in question and report the fact that a doctor was reading tests that didn't belong to my daughter and I want someone else to read the CT scan to be sure of the results.  One thing about me is I can be very angry but I can also control it when talking to people to get what I want.  

She is feeling better today though definitely not well.  We shall see what tomorrow brings.


----------



## LPBeier

jpmcgrew said:


> LP, I also wanted to to tell you that if it's appendicitis it's not fixed by morphine, an Iv or Ct it is something that is removed immediatley by surgery before it has a chance to erupt. I am not a doctor but I have never ever heard of this kind of treatment for appendicitis. I have yet to get this but know people who have and I'm sure there are some here that have had it it's not something to mess with. As I said before you need to become a Bull Dog and get to the bottom of this.


 
These items were not the treatment for it.  The morphine was to give her a bit of relief, the IV was inserted in preparation for surgery and the CT scan was to make sure it was indeed the appendix.  When I was typing last night I was very tired, frustrated and probably didn't word things properly.


----------



## jpmcgrew

No worries LP I thought she was pregnant must have been another post which is why I was so concerned. Even so I was very worried with what you were saying. But still I'm glad I threw out my 2 cents worth maybe it will help someone else down the road.


----------



## babetoo

LPBeier said:


> Babe, I don't know about where you live, but here we have city by-law officers who are there to help keep the city rules and you can call them for items like noise, neighbor's pets, illegally parked cars, etc. If you don't have this, then call the non-emergency number of your local police station and report it. They may not do anything the first time, but if you and enough other people register complaints they certainly will check it out.
> 
> I hope this helps.


 
thank you so much. i will give it a try. they are also running a landscaping business out of their home. as many as six trucks and cars there everyday. have not wanted to make a big deal out of that, everyone has to eat. and at least they are working. may have to do same thing about this.


babe


----------



## Maverick2272

babetoo said:


> thank you so much. i will give it a try. they are also running a landscaping business out of their home. as many as six trucks and cars there everyday. have not wanted to make a big deal out of that, everyone has to eat. and at least they are working. may have to do same thing about this.
> 
> 
> babe



One can be leverage over the other, assuming you can communicate adequately with them. Just explain to them that if they don't stop with the noise, you will have to lodge complaints, the law will get involved, and lawyers, and of course the city will take a closer look at them, and their business, and what permits they are lacking.
Then suggest perhaps them quieting down would be a much simpler and more equitable solution for both of you.
Failing that, what other choice do you have? If you try to solve the problem equitably but they won't co-operate or insist on being rude or insensitive then they have boxed you into a corner. That makes them responsible if you are forced to file complaints and it has a secondary effect of harming their business. People are responsible for their own actions.


----------



## LPBeier

Yes, Mav, thanks for adding this.  No one wants to call the authorities if you don't have to, but doing it this way you put the onus on them.


----------



## Maverick2272

LPBeier said:


> These items were not the treatment for it.  The morphine was to give her a bit of relief, the IV was inserted in preparation for surgery and the CT scan was to make sure it was indeed the appendix.  When I was typing last night I was very tired, frustrated and probably didn't word things properly.



Laurie,
I don't know what to say, is there another hospital within driving distance you can go to? Or is there a patient bill of rights you can enforce in order to get more tests done and another opinion rendered?
This all reminds me of my experience a couple of months ago with our ER, funny thing is it took a nurse from Britain (here on an exchange program) speaking up to get them to do additional tests that resulted in them finding out I had had a heart attack.
The American nurses will not, for the life of them, give out any information or make any kind of suggestion or offer any kind of opinion for fear of reprisal from the doctors and higher-ups.
I don't like that policy, especially since doctors can be overworked, understaffed, tired, flippant, etc. which may lead to experiences like your daughters and mine.


----------



## Bilby

Wow Laurie.  Hope Tara is correctly diagnosed soon. I know I always confuse the doctors cos I don't usually present with typical symptoms.  (They were using my case history of kidney failure as a test for interns - and last I heard, none of them ever get me right!) I always tell doctors that I am not "average" and to apply the "Penny Factor"!  The doctors that know me well now know this to be true but they all doubt me at first and think they know my body better!  (Before I was (correctly) diagnosed with kidney failure, one idiot of a locum decided that my severe pain, nausea and other symptoms were due to a bad case of wind!!!!!  Scary bit is he is still probably practising medicine somewhere out there.....)

Babe, noise is a pain in a neighbourhood.  Can't help you past the advice you have already been given.  I have a really good ability in being able to block most of it out most of the time.  Trucks - I live on a loop road and in a trucking suburb.  The trucks that live in my street for some reason always feel the need to drive all around the loop every time irrespective of their location near to the entrance.  Drives me insane sometimes, esp when it is in the middle of the night as their lights shine right into my bedroom (I am on the cusp of the loop). It's like a scene from "Close Encounters"!  Every so often I feel beligerant enough to want to take it up with the council (cos I bet most haven't got a permit to bring their trucks home) but as I flout the council bylaws with the number of cats that I have, I try to just ignore it.  Most of the time it works well that way.

Terry, how awful if it is due to the drugs!  But at the same time at least you would have an answer.  The stress of the situation with your mum is awful but it is good that you were able to have a good bawl!  You get such a relief from it!!  It helps you draw breath and tackle life's challenges afresh.


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks, Mav and Bilby.  

Tara went to my doctor today and she ordered a whole series of tests at a different hospital (one she works out of), including the ultrasound that was never done.  She has agreed to take Tara on as a patient and is very concerned about her condition. The doctor assured us that it couldn't possibly be colitis, which I knew and made Tara feel much better. 

Thanks everyone and I apologize for this taking up so much of this thread.


----------



## pdswife

That's what we are here for.!!


----------



## SierraCook

I sprained my ankle 2-3 weeks ago and it is still not getting better.  It is so frustrating.  I have tried to stay off of it as much as possible.  Prop it up every evening and ice it.  Never have I had a sprain that has so much pain.  Well, I will just have to keep babying it but I wish it would just get better.


----------



## Bilby

Hope it does soon SierraCook.  I know the annoyance you are going thru. I have been accident/injury prone recently and have had two infections in the same foot (one week apart), a ulcer (according to the podiatrist - but I have my doubts personally) on my big toe of the other foot, a rather large gash from a neighbour's cat on my shin that has required AB's and a tetnus shot and is still infected nearly two weeks later, and have pulled a tendon in the thigh of my same leg!!! My mum went out last week and bought me a walking stick!!! LOL  Nothing as painful as a sprained ankle though.  All impediments to getting things done though.


----------



## jpmcgrew

SierraCook said:


> I sprained my ankle 2-3 weeks ago and it is still not getting better. It is so frustrating. I have tried to stay off of it as much as possible. Prop it up every evening and ice it. Never have I had a sprain that has so much pain. Well, I will just have to keep babying it but I wish it would just get better.


 Are you wearing a good ankle brace? If not get one to wear when you are on your feet it will help a lot. Make sure it fits properly. I like the velcro type so I can adjust the tightness myself.


----------



## SierraCook

Thanks, Bilby and jpmcgrew.  I have an ankle brace that I was fitted for by my podiatrist.  Unfortunately, this is not the first time I have sprained this ankle and that is why she gave me a good ankle brace.  My brother got married this weekend and I think that I overdid walking on my ankle helping with the wedding, etc.  Luckily, at work I have been assigned alot of office and computer work.  So, that will keep me off my feet.  Normally, this time of the year I would be walking around the forest getting ready for the summer field season.


----------



## kadesma

LPBeier said:


> Thanks, Mav and Bilby.
> 
> Tara went to my doctor today and she ordered a whole series of tests at a different hospital (one she works out of), including the ultrasound that was never done.  She has agreed to take Tara on as a patient and is very concerned about her condition. The doctor assured us that it couldn't possibly be colitis, which I knew and made Tara feel much better.
> 
> Thanks everyone and I apologize for this taking up so much of this thread.


No need to apologize,that is why this thread is here..Gives us all a chance to reach out and support and know others care..Glad Tara is getting some help at last.

kadesma


----------



## kadesma

SierraCook said:


> Thanks, Bilby and jpmcgrew.  I have an ankle brace that I was fitted for by my podiatrist.  Unfortunately, this is not the first time I have sprained this ankle and that is why she gave me a good ankle brace.  My brother got married this weekend and I think that I overdid walking on my ankle helping with the wedding, etc.  Luckily, at work I have been assigned alot of office and computer work.  So, that will keep me off my feet.  Normally, this time of the year I would be walking around the forest getting ready for the summer field season.


Good to see you SC..Hope you can rest that ankle and get better soon.

kadesma


----------



## Dina

Feel better Sierra.


----------



## LPBeier

Sierra, take good care of that ankle and I pray it will feel better soon!


----------



## Dina

New developments on my son, Justin.  He had some more blood work done yesterday to check his thyroid.  Thursday, he goes in to radiology for a thyroid scan.  His pediatrician wants to check that everything's running okay with the thyroid.  He goes to the endocrinologist on Monday and then to see an ENT the following week.  Drs. want to make sure what they are dealing with when the surgery takes place in 4 weeks.  I'm hopeful that all will go well.  Thank you for your continued prayers for my son.  I'll keep you posted.


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks for the update Dina.  I am praying for Justin.


----------



## texasgirl

Dina, my prayers are with you, girl!!


----------



## LPBeier

Well, good news from my end at least!  My daughter's tests came back and she had an infection which, inept as he was, the second doctor gave the right antibiotics for and she is doing much better.  He was way off on his diagnosis, and the medicine didn't fit the diagnosis he gave, but it IS working and that is what counts.  I am so glad to finally see some colour in her cheeks and the life back in her eyes.  Thanks everyone for your prayers and advice.


----------



## pdswife

Oh good!  Nice to hear things are improving!!


----------



## kadesma

Laurie,
what great news..I'm so happy for the two of you..

kadesma


----------



## suziquzie

I'm glad you finaly got some decent help Laurie, what a bunch of crud to go thru!


----------



## Dina

Good to hear she's doing better LP.

I just made it in.  Justin and I have been at the radiology department since 8:00 this morning, took an iodine pill then back for the thyroid scan.  I'm so tired and still need to take daughter to dance class tonight.  I need to be back at the radiology dept at 7:00 a.m., pediatrician at 3:45 then take daughter to her school dance at 6 p.m.  Sigh!!!  I need a break.


----------



## babetoo

LP,

i am so glad she is on the mend.

buck up dina, that's what mom's do. try to go to bed early. 

babe


----------



## texasgirl

Dina said:


> Good to hear she's doing better LP.
> 
> I just made it in. Justin and I have been at the radiology department since 8:00 this morning, took an iodine pill then back for the thyroid scan. I'm so tired and still need to take daughter to dance class tonight. I need to be back at the radiology dept at 7:00 a.m., pediatrician at 3:45 then take daughter to her school dance at 6 p.m. Sigh!!! I need a break.


 
Oh, I feel for you!! Kids take up so much of your time and when they're sick, it's worse because your stressed on top of being tired. Try to get some sleep tonight.


----------



## LPBeier

Dina, I am really praying for Justin and adding one for strength for you!

Everyone, I really appreciate all your thoughts and prayers for my daughter and we still need them.  Tara took a turn for the worst today and ended up back at the doctor we went to on Monday.  I couldn't go with her because our dog was sick and we ended up at the vet this morning and DH and I had our own appointments out of town.

Tara called me and said that the doctor had ordered a copy of the CT scan and that it showed NO inflamation or infection of the colon as the second hospital doc had said.  The infection that Tara's doctor (one I have gone to myself here in town and she is very good found from the tests on Monday was legitimate and is actually clearing up.  However, the pain was becoming acute again and the female doctor said the CT scan showed definitely......are you ready for this..... inflamation around the APPENDIX!!!!!  I am an hour away and have my poor daughter crying on the phone worried that she will lose her new job and in terrible pain, reliving last weekend all over again.  

The doctor says she wants the ultrasound done, but outside the hospital there would be a 3 week wait.  She ordered a third set of bloodwork and sent Tara home to wait.  Well, I get a call as I am coming out of my doctor that the blood work once again is normal so "it can't be appendix".  She says Tara can't go to work until the ultrasound which has been moved up one week to June 3. They are pretty well certain that it is a cyst, but need the ultrasound to prove it.  She just wants to know what is wrong and to feel better. 

I am just beside myself.  I had to deal with my own bad news that it may take another 6 months to see the surgeon, let alone get a surgery date, for my knee, and that I will have to go for cortosone shots in both arms AND both hips.  My dog is very sick with a form of kennel cough, DH's work was in chaos today so his day off was cut short, and then I find out that this young woman whom I love as if she was my own child, is in such emotional and physical pain.

I have a catering order for tomorrow that I have to start working on and my heart is not in it.  I feel so bad going off like this when there are others, such as Dina, Stacey's BIL, etc. who have as many or more burdens, but this is just such a wonderful place to be able to let it all out.


----------



## pdswife

Let it flow Laurie.


----------



## LPBeier

I wasn't going to be on this weekend because of work and all that is going on, but I just got a call from Tara's boyfriend and wanted to tell you that she was rushed to the hospital last night by her uncle.  They are FINALLY GOING TO OPERATE and it IS appendicitis.  Today is a crazy day for me because DH has to help move at work and I have a cake to finish by this afternoon, but her BF said they will keep me posted and I will get there as soon as possible.  I know surgery isn't fun, but you don't know the relief that is flowing through me at the moment.   This almost doesn't fit in the vent category, but since I was posting here I thought I should update you all.  Thanks once again for your thoughts and prayers.


----------



## B'sgirl

I feel like all I do these days is clean up poo. Sorry, for the unappetizing subject, but it's true. My family had the flu last weekend and my toddler seems to not be able to shake it. I woke up this morning to the sound of "Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!" coming from his bedroom--yep, exploded diaper all over the carpet, bed, walls, stuffed animals. I threw him in the tub and proceeded to scrub the carpet just outside the bathroom door when again I heard "Ew! Ew! Ew!". He had gone in the tub and was standing up trying to avoid it. After I got him, the carpet, and the tub scrubbed of course, the new baby decided to explode out of her diaper, followed by another exploded diaper from my son that ended up all over the carpet. It's a nice day outside, maybe I'll just send them both outside naked and keep a hose running...


----------



## babetoo

B'sgirl said:


> I feel like all I do these days is clean up poo. Sorry, for the unappetizing subject, but it's true. My family had the flu last weekend and my toddler seems to not be able to shake it. I woke up this morning to the sound of "Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!" coming from his bedroom--yep, exploded diaper all over the carpet, bed, walls, stuffed animals. I threw him in the tub and proceeded to scrub the carpet just outside the bathroom door when again I heard "Ew! Ew! Ew!". He had gone in the tub and was standing up trying to avoid it. After I got him, the carpet, and the tub scrubbed of course, the new baby decided to explode out of her diaper, followed by another exploded diaper from my son that ended up all over the carpet. It's a nice day outside, maybe I'll just send them both outside naked and keep a hose running...


 

i think you are onto a good plan. sometimes having kids is just disgusting.
when i was pg with my daughter, was taking a nap and keep smelling a foul order. found if i turned a certain way, i could not smell it. 

well when i woke up to get son out of crib, i found it. he had painted his entire crib with poo, as well as the wall. of course all over him. i immediately started to barf. husband had to do clean up. oh yes, son used a sock as a paint brush. old fashioned crib with lots of linesto hold onto the poo. yuck

babe


----------



## Barb L.

babetoo said:


> i think you are onto a good plan. sometimes having kids is just disgusting.
> when i was pg with my daughter, was taking a nap and keep smelling a foul order. found if i turned a certain way, i could not smell it.
> 
> well when i woke up to get son out of crib, i found it. he had painted his entire crib with poo, as well as the wall. of course all over him. i immediately started to barf. husband had to do clean up. oh yes, son used a sock as a paint brush. old fashioned crib with lots of linesto hold onto the poo. yuck
> 
> babe



Omg, yucky poo ! poor babe and all the other Mom's that have to go thru this !


----------



## texasgirl

LPBeier said:


> I feel so bad going off like this when there are others, such as Dina, Stacey's BIL, etc. who have as many or more burdens, but this is just such a wonderful place to be able to let it all out.


 
You think your burden is any less? He#$ no it isn't!! I don't feel what is going on in my life is more important than yours either. We all go through our own worries and sufferings. Some are only worse by life threatening, but, guess what, what your daughter is dealing with IS life threatening. Appendicitis can kill you if not caught in time.
I don't care if you stubbed your toe, this is the place to let it ou!! VENT!!!!


----------



## Dina

B'sgirl said:


> I feel like all I do these days is clean up poo. Sorry, for the unappetizing subject, but it's true. My family had the flu last weekend and my toddler seems to not be able to shake it. I woke up this morning to the sound of "Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!" coming from his bedroom--yep, exploded diaper all over the carpet, bed, walls, stuffed animals. I threw him in the tub and proceeded to scrub the carpet just outside the bathroom door when again I heard "Ew! Ew! Ew!". He had gone in the tub and was standing up trying to avoid it. After I got him, the carpet, and the tub scrubbed of course, the new baby decided to explode out of her diaper, followed by another exploded diaper from my son that ended up all over the carpet. It's a nice day outside, maybe I'll just send them both outside naked and keep a hose running...


Oh I know how you feel Michele.  Sorry to hear about the incident.  We all go through ups and downs with our kiddos.  Hang in there.


----------



## jpmcgrew

LPBeier said:


> I wasn't going to be on this weekend because of work and all that is going on, but I just got a call from Tara's boyfriend and wanted to tell you that she was rushed to the hospital last night by her uncle. They are FINALLY GOING TO OPERATE and it IS appendicitis. Today is a crazy day for me because DH has to help move at work and I have a cake to finish by this afternoon, but her BF said they will keep me posted and I will get there as soon as possible. I know surgery isn't fun, but you don't know the relief that is flowing through me at the moment. This almost doesn't fit in the vent category, but since I was posting here I thought I should update you all. Thanks once again for your thoughts and prayers.


 Wow! They finally figured it out. I always thought appendicitis was an easy one to diagnose. Makes me wonder about the doctors up there. I'm sending positive thoughts and prayers to your daughter God knows she has been thru alot. She should not worry about her job maybe you can call he job and explain I'm sure she will still have her job that way you can reassure her for sure so she can concentrate on getting better.  
Many years ago when I worked on an archaeological dig I was the cook a young girl kept feeling sick in the morning I said she is pregnant then one night she was on the floor in pain and I said OK she's not pregnant she has appendicitus. Turns out yes she had appendicitus and she was pregnant as well. Go figure.


----------



## suziquzie

I am so upset with my bosses they will be lucky if I come back next weekend. 

I asked for today off for my nephew's baptism. I got it, and my boss asked if I could make a few extra batches so she wouldn't have a long day today. (boohoo) This is a woman who takes it upon herself to come in every day and work 10-11 hours. She believes if she doesn;t the store will fall to pieces. (not true)

I made 7 batches of dough yesterday and worked 9 hours. Generally I work about 7 hours and make 5-6 batches. So I busted my butt yesterday. 
About 5:30 the husband half of the owners call me, and he says, "she has 7 batches of dough to make Sunday, you agreed to make extra so she could have an easy day. What happened?"
I explain how much I made and apologize if it was not enough. We hang up. I have no clue how she could possibly have that much to make. Should be 3 tiny batches tops. 
I called back, and asked if she was maybe reading my list from today and assuming that was her list for tomorrow, and not actually looked in the cooler. He says thanks, he'll ask her.
He calls back again to apologize. I apparantly DID work very hard yesterday, she assumed I didn't. I always work that hard, I do not take breaks. I's EXREMELY angry and hurt that they even could assume the shoddy work out of me. I really want to quit. Bad. 

Ok thank you. Done now. All better, mostly.


----------



## pdswife

I'm sorry...it's so hard when you need a job and yet you're treated badly where you work.   At least they admitted that they were wrong.  

Hope next week goes better. 

How was the Baptism?


----------



## suziquzie

LOL!! The kid didn't even move!!! He slept the WHOLE service. Wish mine would have..... 

They did good I shouldn't complain. 

Careful what you wish for, the old owner didn't take care of the place and my MIL and I were the only ones working hard. We were really excited about the new owners turning it around, and they did, but now can't appreciate that we work really hard, but she whines when she has to bake. 

Maybe I'll go work at WalMart so I can get a discount on diapers.


----------



## pdswife

discounts are always nice.  Is Wallymart closer to your house??
Would you like working retail instead of baking??

You work with you MIL???  EEK!!!!  I love mine but... being with her all
day might drive me bonkers!


----------



## LPBeier

I totally agree with you about not being appreciated on the job - won't go into details but I do know where you are coming from. 

As for Walmart, a discount on diapers is great, but just make sure your daughter doesn't know that you can also get a discount on lego!


----------



## Mama

I know it's easier said than done Suziquzie but don't take it personally.  Unfortunatlly it just seems to be the way of the world today.  A lot of folks have an "it's all about me" attitude and never even consider other people or their feelings into the equation.  That's exactly why I started an at home internet business.  Now I work for myself, when I want to, where I want to and don't have to deal with anyone else!


----------



## pdswife

Sounds like the perfect job Mama!!!!


----------



## Mama

I love it.  It's been a lot of hard work but I've truly been BLESSED!


----------



## babetoo

*no power for thirteen hours*

yesterday it was very hot here, as it is now. about 2 pm power went out. temp was 102. 

what a bummer, you really can't do much with no power. took  shower and cut out a chair cover. when it got dark , lit many candles. fortunately i have a little light for reading that runs on batteries. fits around my neck. my large flashlight was dead of course and no new batteries for it. 

and of course it was getting hotter by the minute in the house. i opened every window. i then worried my cat might lean against the screen and fall out.

no! he decides to catch his tail on fire. had a lit candle in his path to window sill  lucky for him it went out almost instantly. smelled awful but little damage done. 

hard to sleep when it is so hot. power came back on about 3am. 

all and all a real bummer. we forget how lucky we are to even have power and all the things that run on it. 

babe


----------



## suziquzie

haha no pds I dont work with her, we have the same job. She bakes mon-fri I do sat-sun. Once in a great while they let me come in to help her during a weekday, we have alot of fun! 
I really love the job, but it's starting to be not worth the heartache, maybe I shouldn't be so sensitive I suppose. 

babe I hope you get to keep your power awhile!


----------



## pdswife

It's hard not to be sensitive when you KNOW you are doing a good job and working your butt off and taking time away from your family...


----------



## texasgirl

I'm not going to bore you with what is going on again, but, please keep us in your prayers that something that is going on turns out to be false!!


----------



## JoAnn L.

texasgirl said:


> I'm not going to bore you with what is going on again, but, please keep us in your prayers that something that is going on turns out to be false!!


 
You are in my thoughts and I hope and pray that everything will turn out alright.


----------



## texasgirl

Thank you. I do want to say that it is not illness.


----------



## LPBeier

Stacy, you have my thoughts and prayers as well.


----------



## pdswife

You know I have good thoughts going out to you.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

texasgirl said:


> I'm not going to bore you with what is going on again, but, please keep us in your prayers that something that is going on turns out to be false!!


Whatever it is that is causing you trouble, I'll be praying that it resolves soon and all will be well with you and yours, my friend.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

LPBeier said:


> I wasn't going to be on this weekend because of work and all that is going on, but I just got a call from Tara's boyfriend and wanted to tell you that she was rushed to the hospital last night by her uncle.  They are FINALLY GOING TO OPERATE and it IS appendicitis.  Today is a crazy day for me because DH has to help move at work and I have a cake to finish by this afternoon, but her BF said they will keep me posted and I will get there as soon as possible.  I know surgery isn't fun, but you don't know the relief that is flowing through me at the moment.   This almost doesn't fit in the vent category, but since I was posting here I thought I should update you all.  Thanks once again for your thoughts and prayers.


I've missed a lot since I've been at my mom's but I was very worried to read of your daughter's illness, Laurie. Has she had surgery yet? It's just awful being the one in the waiting room, isn't it? Almost as bad as being the one in the surgical suite. Please update us on how she's doing and know that she (and you) and in my thoughts and prayers. (I know your knee is still acting up so try to rest it as much as you can during this.) A big hug to you both.
Terry


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Dina said:


> I just made it in.  Justin and I have been at the radiology department since 8:00 this morning, took an iodine pill then back for the thyroid scan.  I'm so tired and still need to take daughter to dance class tonight.  I need to be back at the radiology dept at 7:00 a.m., pediatrician at 3:45 then take daughter to her school dance at 6 p.m.  Sigh!!!  I need a break.


Dina, I've been wondering if the results of Justin's thyroid scan are in yet. You must be very nervous about this, especially since all the tests and appointments take sooooo long. I've been thinking about Justin every day and hoping that his thyroid tests all come back normal. Please update us when you can and remember that you have a lot of friends thinking about ya'll.
Terry


----------



## Fisher's Mom

B'sgirl said:


> I feel like all I do these days is clean up poo. Sorry, for the unappetizing subject, but it's true. My family had the flu last weekend and my toddler seems to not be able to shake it. I woke up this morning to the sound of "Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!" coming from his bedroom--yep, exploded diaper all over the carpet, bed, walls, stuffed animals. I threw him in the tub and proceeded to scrub the carpet just outside the bathroom door when again I heard "Ew! Ew! Ew!". He had gone in the tub and was standing up trying to avoid it. After I got him, the carpet, and the tub scrubbed of course, the new baby decided to explode out of her diaper, followed by another exploded diaper from my son that ended up all over the carpet. It's a nice day outside, maybe I'll just send them both outside naked and keep a hose running...


I know it's probably over now, but when I read this my heart really went out to you. All of us moms have been there at one time or another and it's _awful_!! (Way worse than puking kids, IMO.) But it's especially tough when you have a newborn also. I know you are probably sleep deprived right now and the last thing you want to see is poop everywhere. If it's any consolation, I'm absolutely sure moms get extra karma for times like these.


----------



## Dina

Fisher's Mom said:


> Dina, I've been wondering if the results of Justin's thyroid scan are in yet. You must be very nervous about this, especially since all the tests and appointments take sooooo long. I've been thinking about Justin every day and hoping that his thyroid tests all come back normal. Please update us when you can and remember that you have a lot of friends thinking about ya'll.
> Terry


Thank you Terry.  Justin's results came back normal.  The thyroid scan showed nothing abnormal.  It's a good thing because Justin won't be dealing with hormone imbalances or anything of that sort.  The problem is that we're back to square one.  The endocrinologist told us today that Justin's mass is higher than the thyroid so at this point, he just said that it was an unknown mass.  He assured me that it's not malignant but only a biopsy will tell.  He scheduled us for Thursday morning to see a surgeon that specifically performs throat/neck surgeries.  I am praying and hopeful that this new surgeon will give us a definite answer.  Thank you all for your continued prayers.

On top of it all, my daughter just came down with the flu and is feeling quite ill.  She'll be staying home tomorrow.  Sigh!!!!!!!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Well, I'm really relieved it wasn't his thyroid and it's functioning normally. I'm glad you're seeing a head and neck surgeon, too. There are so many nerves in that area that it's definitely better to have a specialist rather than a general surgeon if you can get one. I hope he/she can tell you more and is someone you feel confidence in. It must be so nerve-wracking for you right now. Lean on friends and family and try to remember that this, too, shall pass. In the mean time, I'll keep you and Justin in my thoughts and prayers and your DD, too. (I sure hope you don't get the flu, Dina. That would be awful!)


----------



## Chief Longwind Of The North

Fisher's Mom said:


> I know it's probably over now, but when I read this my heart really went out to you. All of us moms have been there at one time or another and it's _awful_!! (Way worse than puking kids, IMO.) But it's especially tough when you have a newborn also. I know you are probably sleep deprived right now and the last thing you want to see is poop everywhere. If it's any consolation, I'm absolutely sure moms get extra karma for times like these.



Some of us Dads have been there as well.  I know I have.  One day you will be able to look back and rib the kids about the messy times they made for you.  In the meantime, let your love and compassion override you revulsion.  And pray for strength.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


----------



## Dina

LP -- How is Tara doing?

Stacy -- You have my prayers for you all every day.

Michelle -- Hang in there with the little ones. They grow up so fast and by the time you know it the poop and puke incidents will only be a stinky memory. We all go through it sweetie.

Suzi -- Sorry about rough things in your job right now. Hang in there. Most of us are blessed just to have a job now-a-days.

Terry -- Thank you dear. Your words mean so much to me at this point.


----------



## LPBeier

To all who have been asking for an update on my daughter and have continued to pray, I really appreciate it.

It is actually not over yet.  I haven't posted for a few days because things kept changing from minute to minute and I didn't want to keep posting and retracting.  She never did have the appendectomy.  When they admitted her Friday to prep her for surgery, she was switched to a "hospitalist" (a doctor who takes the place of your family doctor while in the hospital).  This doctor didn't agree with the ER doc that it was appendix and FINALLY did the ultrasound.  On Friday I couldn't spend much time with her as I was working on a small catering job and got my updates by phone.  The ultrasound was done Saturday morning and she was told because of the holiday weekend she wouldn't get the results until today.  And on top of that, the ultrasound tech put a lot of fear in her by asking questions about pregnancy and other things (she is not, but she was worried because she had an xray and two CT scans).  I rushed up Saturday evening because she was so upset about that, then her BF and real Mom came later and upset her even more.

Sunday around noon a doctor DID come and give her the results - nother wrong.  She said why am I still in so much pain and the answer was that he didn't know and there was nothing medical they could do for her so she was free to go home.  We picked her up and took her home but she is so fragile physically and emotionally.  It is back to the family doctor today and if hospitalization is needed we are going somewhere else.

Thanks again for all your support.


----------



## pdswife

Well what a horrid mess.  She's lucky she has you to lean on!


----------



## babetoo

LPBeier said:


> To all who have been asking for an update on my daughter and have continued to pray, I really appreciate it.
> 
> It is actually not over yet. I haven't posted for a few days because things kept changing from minute to minute and I didn't want to keep posting and retracting. She never did have the appendectomy. When they admitted her Friday to prep her for surgery, she was switched to a "hospitalist" (a doctor who takes the place of your family doctor while in the hospital). This doctor didn't agree with the ER doc that it was appendix and FINALLY did the ultrasound. On Friday I couldn't spend much time with her as I was working on a small catering job and got my updates by phone. The ultrasound was done Saturday morning and she was told because of the holiday weekend she wouldn't get the results until today. And on top of that, the ultrasound tech put a lot of fear in her by asking questions about pregnancy and other things (she is not, but she was worried because she had an xray and two CT scans). I rushed up Saturday evening because she was so upset about that, then her BF and real Mom came later and upset her even more.
> 
> Sunday around noon a doctor DID come and give her the results - nother wrong. She said why am I still in so much pain and the answer was that he didn't know and there was nothing medical they could do for her so she was free to go home. We picked her up and took her home but she is so fragile physically and emotionally. It is back to the family doctor today and if hospitalization is needed we are going somewhere else.
> 
> Thanks again for all your support.


 
is this the standard of care that u usually have?


babe


----------



## LPBeier

No Babe, it has never been this bad, but I have to admit that our healthcare system is not great.  I have been getting the same run around regarding my leg problems.  The last surgeon on my first visit said that my knee was so bad he would have to perform an "emergency" knee replacement (meaning within 6 months rather than the usual 1 - 2 year wait).  Then he ordered more tests and when I went back in a week he said I probably wouldn't need that surgery for 10 years and that the more minor arthroscopic surgery (which "cleans up in there") will do just fine but again I need it soon to increase my quality of life.  That was six weeks ago and I still haven't heard from the new doctor's office that I have an appointment with him, which will be about 6 months in itself.  

This isn't the Canadian standard, but our province is getting worse and worse because there just aren't enough doctors, nurses, surgical rooms or hosptial beds.


----------



## Uncle Bob

Miss Laurie...Uncle Bob send many braves with many arrows on fast ponies...Doctor understand then!!!! Make you well quick!!!


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks, Uncle Bob!  I am sure that would get their attention, that's for sure.  For that I might send you my special peanut cluster or truffle recipe to go with those peppermint patties!!!!!


----------



## Uncle Bob

Twuffles? Did someone say Twuffles... AND peanut clusters...


----------



## LPBeier

Uncle Bob said:


> Twuffles? Did someone say Twuffles... AND peanut clusters...


 
The peanut clusters are easy. You will find the link here.

The twuffles I will have to post later.


----------



## DawnT

Laurie,  Please remind those "doctors" that we are not given a book when our children are born because they don't go by one!!!  My oldest DD had appendicitis at age 12. The only thing was, she had no symptoms other than she was uncomfortable.  She had an appetite, no fever, no elevated white cell count, no localized pain.  They insisted there was nothing wrong with her, it was in her head, I knew my DD and told them to shove their books up their a**es and do something else!!  After ultrasound, CT, MRI they did schedualed an exploratory.  Her appendix was rupturing as they were opening her up!!  Please keep pushing Laurie.  My prayers are with you and yours.


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks, Dawn, for the words and the prayers.  We have asked that ALL test results from the hospital be sent to her family doctor and when they are there we are going in to have her go over them all.  She is feeling a little better, but is only eating clear fluids and crackers!


----------



## pdswife

The new job is getting a very very slow start.  I was supposed to have three days of training and then start work.  It's been six days now. Two in the classroom and four sitting at a desk with another girl, watching her type all day.  The reason.... they can't seem to get an account set up for me.  First, the guy who was filling in for my boss filled the papers out wrong. Then after my boss filled them in correctly another girl with my SAME name started on the same day and some how this caused a HUGE problem.  Now I've been put in some waiting line, who knows how long said line is and how long it will take.  With out an account, I can't be placed in a desk, giving a phone or a computer or do any work!  They say it won't hold my pay check up but..I'm having trouble believing that.  

Do you know how long 8 hours take to go by when you're doing NOTHING??  I feel like I've been waiting in the dentists waiting room reading 5 year old magazines.  Sigh......


----------



## suziquzie

start knitting!!!


----------



## pdswife

lol... I need to do something.  I may be going crazy.


----------



## LPBeier

I really feel for you.  DD's BF, who has been doing maintenance for years got a job at a small department store and the first two days he followed someone around the store "learning the layout".  The next day it rained and he had to place 57 buckets under 57 leaks in the roof....that was the whole days work!  Reason......they didn't want to put to much pressure on him the first week.  Duh, it is MAINTENANCE!!!!

I think maybe you SHOULD come over and help me with baking today!!! I will dirty enough spoons to make it worth the 6 hour round trip!!!!


----------



## LPBeier

Other than increased pain in my leg and arms, today has been a great day.  No, that is not a vent, but I am writing it hear to bring some closure to my previous vents.

1.  My daughter finally has an official diagnosis - acute (as opposed to chronic) colitis.  She has to watch her diet during attacks and has an appointment with a doctor tomorrow to figure out where to from here.  She is also meeting with a friend who has chronic colitis on Saturday to discuss how to cope.  She may be moving back in with us partly because of my experience with special diets.  While this diagnosis isn't the best news, at least she knows where she stands now and we can all work towards her getting better.

2.  I finally heard from the second surgeon's office and have an appointment for 2 weeks from now (better than the 6 months I was told!).  It turns out that the other surgeon's secretary sent the referral in with my xrays and it was supposed to be faxed ahead of them.  But when the new doctor's assistant got xrays that didn't match a patient wouldn't she look?  (oops, that's a vent).  

Anyway, things seem to be falling into place - thanks for listening.


----------



## babetoo

sure glad to hear that things are looking up for u guys. give daughter my best.and the same to you.

babe


----------



## Uncle Bob

Miss Laurie said:
			
		

> Anyway, things seem to be falling into place


 
News travel fast of large War party...many braves, many arrows...headed north...


----------



## LPBeier

Uncle Bob said:


> News travel fast of large War party...many braves, many arrows...headed north...


 
Thanks Uncle Bob, I know that is what got things going.  Can you keep them on the ready in case I get the runaround at my appointment?  I guess this means I better get posting that twuffle wecipe!


----------



## Katie H

LPBeier said:


> I guess this means I better get posting that twuffle wecipe!



Yes, you should.


----------



## Dina

*The update today from the ENT surgeon is that Justin will undergo a needle biopsy on June 2nd. This biopsy will tell us if it's a swollen lymph node or the original diagnosis of a thyroglossal duct cyst. Whatever it is will have to be surgically removed.*


----------



## DawnT

Just sent a *HUGE* prayer up for all my DC family,  since I've been a little remiss in reading posts!!


----------



## babetoo

ok venting 1,2,3

1. once more waiting for handy man.

2. waiting for gal to bring me papers, she promised for eleven am

3. waiting for son to come and see new floor. 

if people don't intend  to do the things they promise, why do they promise.

babe


----------



## LPBeier

Babe, in some cases they don't mean to break promises, but they should call to let you know they won't be there or will be late.  As for your handyman, isn't he always late?  I do feel for you though - waiting for others is not fun.


----------



## babetoo

LPBeier said:


> Babe, in some cases they don't mean to break promises, but they should call to let you know they won't be there or will be late. As for your handyman, isn't he always late? I do feel for you though - waiting for others is not fun.


 

yes the handyman is always late, i think being late or not coming at all is a form of passive aggressive behavior. as in "u can't tell me what to do. 

the paper person finally called about four pm. says will be here in am. lol

son is just a no show. i try to make allowances for him as he has a lot on his plate, always. oh well, guess they don't think my time is worth anything.

babe


----------



## LPBeier

babetoo said:


> oh well, guess they don't think my time is worth anything.
> 
> babe


 
Well I, for one, appreciate your time here on DC and I am sure others do too!


----------



## luvs

fer 5 HOURS, i've listened to jake & his halo 3 game with him complaining over his headset.


----------



## Katie H

I'm havin' a time with an insect sting. Don't know  what it was/is.  I'm highly allergic and am a bit concerned.

I was stung on the underside of my right arm, on the inside  of the elbow. This happened early this morning.  I brushed the stinger  out of my arm and immediately wiped some "After  Bite" onto the area and, then, took one Benadryl   pill. 

At least I'm  still alive.  That could've been a problem.

However, my arm now looks like Popeye's arm and is soooooo itchy and warm I can hardly stand it.  I'm sure it's my own personal allergic reaction. I'm not too concerned because I'm not dizzy and  my heart rate is normal. 

I'll take another Benadryl before bed and see what things look like in the morning.

I 'yam what I 'yam!!!!


----------



## AllenOK

Was woken up @0710 Thurs. morning to get the second oldest boy up, dressed, and off to school.  Upon sitting up, realized I had a headache.  No biggie, I get headaches quite often, from being dehydrated frequently.  SOP treatment, take a couple Ibuprofen, and drink a large glass of water.

Got Justin off to school.  Headache getting worse.  Water out of the tap tasted really funny.

About 9:30 emptied the contents of my stomach into the sink.  Yuck.  PeppA was out-and-about running an errand, so I called her to let her know I wasn't feeling good.  Great.  Still have dishes to do, and mow the yard.

About 10:30, finished with dishes.  Laid down for a rest.

11:45, woken up by PeppA, saying, "I need to run to the gas station.  Come with me, some fresh air will do you good."

Walked out, grabbed a Gatorade (still thinking I'm dehydrated), and downed that with another couple Ibuprofen.

12:15, on the way home, emptied contents of stomach AGAIN.  Great.  Got home, called the boss with bad news.

Laid in bed the rest of the day.  Slept a good part of it.

It's now 0037 hours FRIDAY morning.  I'm feeling better, kept supper down at least.  However, due to all the extra sleep, I'm no where near ready to go to bed soon.  What's worse, is that Friday morning is my morning to get the oldest son up @ 0600 for school.  Storms are moving into the area, so I'll probably stay up to watch them come in, then it's off to bed.


----------



## LPBeier

Katie, If your is still swollen I would go see a doctor.  I am highly allergic to bug bites as well and they are nothing to mess with.

Allen, our border had your same symptoms at the beginning of the week and is just starting to feel better.  Take good care of yourself and try to get whatever fluids and food down as you can, even if it is just juice and toast.

I hope you are both better soon.


----------



## AllenOK

I feel much better today.  I was able to hold supper down, and did drink some fluids, although pop and beer probably aren't the best choice for fluids.  I'll drink a gatorade here in a little bit.  I only got about 5 hours of sleep overnight, but with all the extra sleep I got yesterday, it's no biggie.

I'll have a busy day at work today, getting ready for the Friday rush, plus finding out where everything is after someone else worked my line last night.....


----------



## Dina

Katie and Allen:  I hope you both feel better soon.  

We got some bad news here in our area that our water system underground has been contaminated for years and can potentially cause leukemia to residents.  I'm really freaking out!  I've been attentive watching the news but haven't heard anything else about it.  Apparently, the news channel anchors are getting it tested and will advise of what they really found underground the water system.  I am afraid for my parents live in the area that's supposedly contaminated.


----------



## Maverick2272

Turns out I had appendicitis. I went in Wednesday, they sent me to the ER around 5pm, and then I waited for them to get to me. DW went home around 10pm, and not half an hour later they said they were operating for sure, right now. They called her but she was too tired to drive back. They were done around 3:30am, and I was able to call DW later that morning and let her know what room I was in. She stopped by briefly on Thursday evening for a quick visit, they had told us I might be going home that night but instead held me over till today. Well today DW was working in a northern suburb when they released me, so I had to walk home.
Ugg.


----------



## pdswife

wow!  Sure glad you're back at home. GET SOME REST!


----------



## Katie H

Okay.   Update.  My arm still looks like Popeye's but it  seems  to have  stabilized.  Still...I  want to take  a  wire brush to it to scratch.  But I won't.

Got  up this  morning and really didn't  feel like doing  anything, so I  took a Benadryl capsule and went back to bed.  Seemed to help.

No more swelling so I think I'm on the mend.


----------



## JoAnn L.

Katie E said:


> Okay. Update. My arm still looks like Popeye's but it seems to have stabilized. Still...I want to take a wire brush to it to scratch. But I won't.
> 
> Got up this morning and really didn't feel like doing anything, so I took a Benadryl capsule and went back to bed. Seemed to help.
> 
> No more swelling so I think I'm on the mend.


 
My best friend had the same problem, she did go to the doctors and he told her to take the Benadryl. It took a few days but the swelling finally went down. I think hers was a spider bite.


----------



## Katie H

JoAnn L. said:


> My best friend had the same problem, she did go to the doctors and he told her to take the Benadryl. It took a few days but the swelling finally went down. I think hers was a spider bite.



Thanks, JoAnn.  I'm pretty sure mine isn't a spider bite because I  took the "stinger" out of my arm as I came into the house.  Same thing happened when I was stung in my right calf about a month  ago.  It's bug heaven here.  Almost an identical reaction.  Ice is helping, too.


----------



## LPBeier

Maverick2272 said:


> Turns out I had appendicitis.


 
Mav, I am really sorry to hear that.  You have had your share of health concerns lately. I am praying for a speedy recovery.  And hope that it wasn't a long walk!!!!

 But do you think I can send my daughter down to you and you can take her to your hospital (say she is a relative or something)? We took her to another hospital today because she was only able to do a half shift yesterday at work and her doctor told her she would get to see a specialist faster at the hospital.  The doctor was much more thorough but couldn't call in a specialist because the tests all came out negative for appendicitis (even though he also agress that the symptoms indicate it).  We have to take her back Monday for another ultrasound.


----------



## JoAnn L.

Maverick2272 said:


> Turns out I had appendicitis. I went in Wednesday, they sent me to the ER around 5pm, and then I waited for them to get to me. DW went home around 10pm, and not half an hour later they said they were operating for sure, right now. They called her but she was too tired to drive back. They were done around 3:30am, and I was able to call DW later that morning and let her know what room I was in. She stopped by briefly on Thursday evening for a quick visit, they had told us I might be going home that night but instead held me over till today. Well today DW was working in a northern suburb when they released me, so I had to walk home.
> Ugg.


 
Praying for your speedy recovery. My goodness, how far did you have to walk?


----------



## texasgirl

Maverick2272 said:


> Turns out I had appendicitis. I went in Wednesday, they sent me to the ER around 5pm, and then I waited for them to get to me. DW went home around 10pm, and not half an hour later they said they were operating for sure, right now. They called her but she was too tired to drive back. They were done around 3:30am, and I was able to call DW later that morning and let her know what room I was in. She stopped by briefly on Thursday evening for a quick visit, they had told us I might be going home that night but instead held me over till today. Well today DW was working in a northern suburb when they released me, so I had to walk home.
> Ugg.


 

Wait a minute. I'm sorry, nothing against your wife, but, I would NEVER leave my husband in the ER alone!! Nor would I have left him to have surgery alone! It is unthinkable to me. And for you to have to WALK home after any surgery is just crap!! I'm sorry Mav, maybe there were circumstances that caused all of this. Could her job not let her off to be with you? If not, I would be looking for another job, NOW. What is going to happen when there is a life or death situation? Appendicits can be also.


----------



## LPBeier

Stacey, I was a bit wrapped up in my own stuff, but I totally agree with you.  When I had major surgery a few years ago at a hospital about an hour and a half away (making DH about 3 hours from his teaching job), he got a sub and moved in with my Dad.  He did all his marking and stuff while I was sleeping but he never left my side until I was out for the night and he was back first thing in the morning.  

Mav, again I have nothing against your wife, and there are circumstances, but the walking home part more than anything isn't acceptable.  At the very least couldn't she arrange for someone else to pick you up and stay with you until she got home?


----------



## jpmcgrew

texasgirl said:


> Wait a minute. I'm sorry, nothing against your wife, but, I would NEVER leave my husband in the ER alone!! Nor would I have left him to have surgery alone! It is unthinkable to me. And for you to have to WALK home after any surgery is just crap!! I'm sorry Mav, maybe there were circumstances that caused all of this. Could her job not let her off to be with you? If not, I would be looking for another job, NOW. What is going to happen when there is a life or death situation? Appendicits can be also.


 I was wondering the same thing. Why at least did you not take taxi?


----------



## LEFSElover

Dear Lord, these wonderful people in here are under stress, concern, upset, illness and tragedy, among other things.  I pray now, that You grant them all the things to make them well in all ways and bless them with whatever it is they're going through.  TYL................Amen.....

My actual prayer was much longer and more detailed but let's always lift each other up.  We all need help and support.


----------



## LPBeier

LEFSElover said:


> Dear Lord, these wonderful people in here are under stress, concern, upset, illness and tragedy, among other things. I pray now, that You grant them all the things to make them well in all ways and bless them with whatever it is they're going through. TYL................Amen.....
> 
> My actual prayer was much longer and more detailed but let's always lift each other up. We all need help and support.


 
Amen, Lefse, Amen.


----------



## Maverick2272

Just to clarify, it is about a 45 minute walk home. DW could have come picked me up, but it would have taken her a couple of hours to get to the hospital. I did not have my wallet on me (DW took it with her), so I could not pay for a taxi. The hospital does a taxi service, but they did not think to call ahead, it was a three hour waiting period.
It was faster for me to just walk home. Our biggest problem is we have no one to watch the kids, so two are home alone and the 3 year old is running around the ER while DW is literally falling asleep in the chair. Sending her home was the best thing to do at the time.
It is what it is and we make the best of it. That being said, I have never left her in the ER or hospital alone, ever. But this is her small business and she has to juggle it and her choices the best she can, and I supported her.
It can be rough, there are no vacation days, no sick days, no paid time off. If she doesn't work, we don't eat so to speak. She has a lot on her shoulders right now, I just wish I could help her out more or at least get her some help for awhile.


----------



## Maverick2272

LPBeier said:


> Mav, I am really sorry to hear that.  You have had your share of health concerns lately. I am praying for a speedy recovery.  And hope that it wasn't a long walk!!!!
> 
> But do you think I can send my daughter down to you and you can take her to your hospital (say she is a relative or something)? We took her to another hospital today because she was only able to do a half shift yesterday at work and her doctor told her she would get to see a specialist faster at the hospital.  The doctor was much more thorough but couldn't call in a specialist because the tests all came out negative for appendicitis (even though he also agress that the symptoms indicate it).  We have to take her back Monday for another ultrasound.



Originally they did not think it was appendicitis either, since I had these very same symptoms back in February about three weeks before the heart attack. So, to be thorough they gave me the barium drink, waited two hours, and did a CT scan. They were able to look at the entire abdomen then, and everything was fine except the appendix.. it was ready to burst.
One of the reasons they said for the pain being in other areas not just over the appendix was that it was possible for the appendix to develop a small leak instead of rupturing. In this case it would spread an infection throughout the entire abdomen, thus confusing the symptoms.
I would have them do a CT scan, and run the possibility past them. If all else fails send her down here, we can take her to Cook County and while she will be there all day and part of the night, it is free and she won't leave until they find and solve the problem.


----------



## texasgirl

I'm sorry, but, I just had some info comfirmed, I said I didn't want to say anything until I knew more. Well, there is a VERY good chance that I will be a Grandma in December. 
Unfortunately, the mamma will be the cheating girlfriend of my youngest son. She is still with the best friend she cheated on him with too. I will say, that no matter who the mamma is, if the DNA shows my boy to be the dad, I don't care who the mamma is. The baby is innocent of any wrong doings and will treated just as it is, MY grandbaby. I'm waiting to here from her on myspace. Right now, until that test is made, it will be the boyfriends in my mind and my son is not going to take responsibility, due to legal reasons. The due date is December 10. If test shows him as the dad, that baby will be spoiled to death, I can say that!!!


----------



## pdswife

That's a tough spot for all of you to be in...but you're right that baby is innocent and should be loved and spoid no matter what!

How does your son feel about being a parent??


----------



## texasgirl

pdswife said:


> That's a tough spot for all of you to be in...but you're right that baby is innocent and should be loved and spoid no matter what!
> 
> How does your son feel about being a parent??


 
He isn't thrilled about who the mom is, but, he is friends with them again
That may be a good thing now. At first he said, Heck no, that kid is not mine, I don't want anything to do with it. I talked to him though and told him that no matter what, if it is his, he has to be a man and that baby is innocent and has no choice who it's parents are. If he created it, he will take care of it. He's a whole lot better about it now. Of course, he is still hoping that it is the friend's, but, is ready to take responsibility for it. He is definately not financially able, but, if it is ours, it will NEVER go without anything it needs or doesn't need


----------



## LPBeier

Stacy I admire how you, and your son are handling this.  The baby IS the innocent party and from what you say in your two posts I almost hope it is your son's because it sounds like the child will have half a chance!  I am praying for all of you.


----------



## texasgirl

LPBeier said:


> Stacy I admire how you, and your son are handling this. The baby IS the innocent party and from what you say in your two posts I almost hope it is your son's because it sounds like the child will have half a chance! I am praying for all of you.


 
Thank you, that means a lot to me. I am blessed to have been raised into a very loving family. I will never turn my back on blood.


----------



## babetoo

good for u stacy. you will be a super grandma if it comes to that. give son a pat on the back for stepping up. 

these young people don't seem to know that a baby is at least an 18 year commitment. sign of the times i guess. 

best wishes,
babe


----------



## kadesma

You all know how crazy I am about my grandkids..Well I love all kids, but some parents really tick me off..We went to Toy's r us to get Ethans scooter for his birthday tomorrow..Over the intercom..Little Bobby is having a Birthday say happy birthday as he goes by..I start out of the aisle I'm in and little Bobby runs smack into me knocking me down on the bike he is riding all over the store...Yep all over going so fast he hasn't time to think about stopping..Needless to say that 's gonna leave marks!!! I get myself up, and go to where they have saftey head gear avoiding little Bobby who has now decide riding in circle in this area is fun Ha Ha..There I have to jump out of the way of 4 teens who have decided to try out all the different skate boards..Yippee..One young girl tells me ever  so nicely to get the hell out of the way!!! Know what? I pushed the cart up to an empty check out and tell the clerk, I'm going to Target..Oh and little Bobby's mommy, tells me that I shouldn't have told her baby to watch where he was going I hurt his feelings..Aren't I a meanie? Now to take some Ibuprofin and climb into bed...
kadesma


----------



## texasgirl

IF ONLY I HAD BEEN THERE!!
I don't understand why people have stopped disciplining their kids. They are children for heavens sake. Teach them to be freaking human!!! All they are anymore are BRATS!!


----------



## pdswife

I agree Stacy!

Kades..I hope you're feeling better today.  Those kids should be slapped!


----------



## expatgirl

I used to "pull regular playground duty" at MacDonald's when my children were growing up and some were trying to push their ways on the slide  I guess the teacher voice and the "look" kept the moms of their angels from correcting me.  Even today I don't hesitate to stop other children from engaging in unsafe play----better that than their parents getting sued......I just love the kids that are allowed to push the carts up the back of your legs----they really get the frightening "dagger eyes".  Of course the topic of misbehavior in restaurants has already been covered


----------



## Fisher's Mom

texasgirl said:


> I'm sorry, but, I just had some info comfirmed, I said I didn't want to say anything until I knew more. Well, there is a VERY good chance that I will be a Grandma in December.
> Unfortunately, the mamma will be the cheating girlfriend of my youngest son. She is still with the best friend she cheated on him with too. I will say, that no matter who the mamma is, if the DNA shows my boy to be the dad, I don't care who the mamma is. The baby is innocent of any wrong doings and will treated just as it is, MY grandbaby. I'm waiting to here from her on myspace. Right now, until that test is made, it will be the boyfriends in my mind and my son is not going to take responsibility, due to legal reasons. The due date is December 10. If test shows him as the dad, that baby will be spoiled to death, I can say that!!!


Stacy, if it _is_ your grandchild, that will be a very lucky child! You are such a lovely and caring person and I really admire your poise in this situation. It must be hard not knowing for sure (for both you and your son), but ya'll are keeping your thoughts on what's important - a new life coming into the world under less than optimum circumstances. Thank heavens for this child that _you're_ one of the interested parties - so many babies are born that don't have _anyone_ ready to welcome them! A big pat on the back for you, girlfriend!


----------



## texasgirl

You guys are making me blush
That is just the way I feel. Now at first, I wanted to cry.
We will see how it turns out in December. I half would love for it to be mine
It would will have the grandmother that my boys never had, that's for sure!!!


----------



## CharlieD

texasgirl said:


> IF ONLY I HAD BEEN THERE!!
> I don't understand why people have stopped disciplining their kids. They are children for heavens sake. Teach them to be freaking human!!! All they are anymore are BRATS!!


 
I can't even go there, being from the old country my views are at least a 2 generations back, so to me this kind of behavior is absolutely unacceptable, I get so mad grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


----------



## JoAnn L.

I have seen it all, I worked up front at a large discount store for 23 years as a supervisor. I have seen both sides, were a parent was out of control and were the children were unbelieveably spoiled. I once saw a little girl of about 4, slap her dad hard right across the face. He just smiled and stood there. I once saw a man drag a little boy of about 7 out the door by his hair. We called the police on him. I thank God every day that I am retired from that job. It still upsets me.


----------



## suziquzie

kades thanks for that, I always feel like I'm making my oldest the odd man out because we are constantly reminding and flat out nagging the poor kid about how to behave, and he sees other kids do whatever they feel like and get away with it. 
Someday when half his class is in prison I suppose he'll say thank you!


----------



## AllenOK

<rant>

The screen on my laptop just died.  Or at least, the switch turning the screen on when the lid is lifted.

I'll have to look into warranty info.  I know I bought a protection plan that "if ANYTHING" happens to it, it'll be fixed, or replaced.  I only have two problems with that.  A)  It's been a year, and that plan may have expired.  B)  The company I bought it from has closed its only retail outlet here in Tulsa.

Looks like I may just be threw with messing around with laptops.  Period.

</rant>


----------



## Jcas

that is annoying, hope you can get it resolved, i hate it when you have something, but when it needs support the company that made iit is closed down or gone bankrupt or whatever ...


----------



## kadesma

suziquzie said:


> kades thanks for that, I always feel like I'm making my oldest the odd man out because we are constantly reminding and flat out nagging the poor kid about how to behave, and he sees other kids do whatever they feel like and get away with it.
> Someday when half his class is in prison I suppose he'll say thank you!


Suzie, you keep reminding him..Soon, it will become a normal part of his life..And, you will have a child that will be welcome in anyones home..Kids are not born talking truck driver swear words or swinging from the ceiling lamps..They learn it at home or at ma and pa's..Watch a kid who most of the time seems to ignore your Timmy be careful or stop that..Just say a swear word and he stops what he is doing and finds a way to say exactly what you did with a big grin and look at me on his face..Say you hate peas at the dinner table and tomorrow the kid who would gobble them down, all of a sudden refuses them..We have to be the ones they mimic and want to be like..Mine use oh hector or dag nabit instead of something rude..If they come home with a swear word, we sit down just the two of us and have a talk...usually we never hear the bad word again..I've taught them that they are special and will be treated that way if they act special, not snooty, but good and kind..So far, we are doing well..I bet your little ones are really good kids..And all of them do slip, then we talk, get a hug and are told just what a wonderful person they are.When I have to nag a kid about behaving a certain way, I always tell them, this way sweetie, other will look at you and say, wow, what a great young man you are and they will then be glad to meet you and know you.
kades


----------



## Corey123

I ran into that same scenerio last week with my little buddy whom I tutor, as did the little boy who I tutored before him.

The boy said that he had been reading all day, and when he and his classmate came downstairs she went and grabbed a game, so he followed behind her to get one also.

The coordinator said that he had to read some first before playing any game. He got very angry at her and started venting because the girl is always playing a game and he's not! I understood his anger and frustrations. I'd be mad as well! 

If he has to read first before getting a game, which he often does, then so should she!

He didn't get violent, but he WAS very upset and irate to the point where he began to cry! I couldn't really blame him for that. He had just about enough of her having things her way, when he's doing the right thing! 

Of course, I had to try to cheer him up as I always do with him and the others whom I tutor. I feel like a marriage cuncilor trying to patch up disputes with the kids. Haha!! But I want the kids to be happy went they come to read.

He's poked fun at and tourmented by this girl, yet SHE is ther one who is being pandered, pampered and spoiled! 

Which is true. So the coordinator and myself were finally successful in getting him to read. I had to work out a deal with the boy. That if he reads a little for me for about 20 minutes, he can play a game afterwards. He likes that idea! 

I told him that reading is good for everyone. He'll see that when he gets a little bit older. And he'll have ME to thank for helping and guiding him!


----------



## VickiQ

IN March we decided to redesign our livingroom and diningroom area to a faux great room and our former family room into a formal diningroom. You think it would be easy enough being as there was no major construction involved-just painting a wall or two and having a hardwood floor refinished as well as ordering new furniture and an area rug.Well-we also had to order blinds for our large circle top front window and side window- we had a great visit with a guy from Budget Blinds in our area and sent him with our $2000.00 order and a cash deposit of $1200 only to have him reneiged on our contract when the blinds supposedly came in and sent us our check back and became irrate with us for no reason- we're still shaking our heads on this one.Next was having the floors refinshed- although they eventually turned out fine- the guy never showed up when he said he was going to.We also asked for the "dustless" system and he "forgot" and we're still cleaning dust out of cracks and crevices.Now comes the area rug- lo and behold - there is a whole in it- we're promised an immediate turn around- that was last Monday still no rug. Our special order furniture arrives last Wed. the coffee table is scratched and chipped and the sofa is the right fabric but, the wrong piece altogether!! We were trying to finish this by Memorial Day weekend and it doesn't look like it will be finished by Jimmy's surgery date next Tuesday either. Although this is all minor stuff in the big scheme of things- it's all nonetheless annoying!!!!Thanks for letting me complain!!! Love and energy, Vicki


----------



## Fisher's Mom

VickiQ said:


> Although this is all minor stuff in the big scheme of things- it's all nonetheless annoying!!!!Thanks for letting me complain!!! Love and energy, Vicki


It's only minor when it's somebody else's house, Vicki! Something always goes wrong with home improvement projects, but it sounds like your project has had more than it's share. I hope everything finally resolves perfectly and that the surgery outcome is excellent.
Terry


----------



## VickiQ

Thank you Terry or your support- I really want to sit back and laugh about the whole thing but, the tears just keep flowing.LOve and energy, Vicki


----------



## babetoo

i know it doesn't help much, but remodels always have snags. 

years ago we added a huge family room and a new bathroom. everything that could go wrong did go wrong. in the end it was beautiful. 

i place this mess right in with customer service. 

so sorry u have had so much trouble.

babe


----------



## LPBeier

Vicki, I too understand the renovation blues.  We owned a "little fixer-uper" for seven years that turned into the Nightmare on Elm Street (actually it was 84th Avenue, but that doesn't go with the movie title very well).  I agree with Babe that you seem to be having a customer service nightmare; however I am assuming it is with several different stores/suppliers.  Take some deep breaths and know that "this too shall pass".  I will be thinking of your husband on his surgery next Tuesday.  Take care.


----------



## VickiQ

Thank you Babe and Laurie -this isn't the first time we have done renovations to this old house (rancher built in 1953) but, this is the first time I can remember sooo many things going wrong and we didn't even gut anything!!! I think I'm alittle more anxious about this project because it won't be finished before Jimmy's surgery (all kinds of reparation to the hip socket and it's cartilidge without being a full blown replacement and reduction of the femur).Back in March it seemed like a good project to take on to keep his mind off of things but, I guess it was stupidity on our part.There is good news- the new area rug arrived yesterday-holeless!!!Eventually it will be finished and we'll forget about all the delays and get ourselves into something else!!!Thanks again! Love and energy, Vicki


----------



## LadyCook61

I'm trying to burn my digital photos to dvd and the stupid software keeps giving me error message and therefore the dvd is wasted, it is a coaster! I really hate wasting dvds , they are not cheap.  Once an error message shows up in the middle of burning the dvd, that is it, cannot burn further and it is ruined.


----------



## LPBeier

LadyCook, will your software let you save your project to your hard drive and then you can burn the DVD from there?  I do this when I am burning several DVD's of the same thing and it goes faster.  This might eliminate the error.


----------



## LadyCook61

LPBeier said:


> LadyCook, will your software let you save your project to your hard drive and then you can burn the DVD from there? I do this when I am burning several DVD's of the same thing and it goes faster. This might eliminate the error.


 The photos are on the hard drive.  I rebooted the pc and it works okay now.
I usually back up all the photos to the hard drive, then to DVDs and to external hard drive.


----------



## LPBeier

I am glad it is working now.  However what I meant was not just having the photos on the hard drive, but you can save "Project" or "image" (depending on the software) as it will go onto the disc so you don't have to keep dragging and dropping every time you want to make that same disc.  It also helps speed things up if you have a lot going on the disc or you are making several the same.


----------



## LadyCook61

LPBeier said:


> I am glad it is working now. However what I meant was not just having the photos on the hard drive, but you can save "Project" or "image" (depending on the software) as it will go onto the disc so you don't have to keep dragging and dropping every time you want to make that same disc. It also helps speed things up if you have a lot going on the disc or you are making several the same.


 
What I do is transfer  the photos, using a card reader,  from the camera into a folder to the desktop, then I burn the folder to the dvd, no dragging and dropping  I understand what you mean.  Thanks for your input. 

LadyCook


----------



## Fisher's Mom

LadyCook, you might consider burning them to CDs instead of DVDs. The blank CDs are much cheaper than blank DVDs, but hold way less. So it would depend on how many pics you take and how big your jpegs are. Is your camera super high res?

Are you sure it's the software, also? I've noticed that certain brands of blank DVDs have more "bad" discs than others. I've noticed in particular that when I use Memorex (one of the least expensive brands), I almost never have a coaster. But I got a spindle of HP brand and I've had at least 5 or 6 out of the 50. I also noticed a higher fail rate with Sony, although not as high as the HP. I don't know if it also has to do with which brand of burner you have, too.


----------



## LadyCook61

Fisher's Mom said:


> LadyCook, you might consider burning them to CDs instead of DVDs. The blank CDs are much cheaper than blank DVDs, but hold way less. So it would depend on how many pics you take and how big your jpegs are. Is your camera super high res?
> 
> Are you sure it's the software, also? I've noticed that certain brands of blank DVDs have more "bad" discs than others. I've noticed in particular that when I use Memorex (one of the least expensive brands), I almost never have a coaster. But I got a spindle of HP brand and I've had at least 5 or 6 out of the 50. I also noticed a higher fail rate with Sony, although not as high as the HP. I don't know if it also has to do with which brand of burner you have, too.


I take hundreds of pics, my CF cards hold 4 gigs each .  I use high res and sometimes tiff files.  I use Verbatim dvd discs, bought at Sam's club.


----------



## quicksilver

_     Getting back to  KADESINA, # 2455. I agree. Well said._


----------



## B'sgirl

My computer has been totally dead for almost a week and I have been cut off from the world! I never knew how much I rely on that thing--particularly the internet! My brilliant computer programmer husband has been working on it but waiting for parts, etc. His pride won't let him admit it's a gonner so I have to wait for him to eliminate every little thing before I can convince him to buy me a laptop. (Our computer is a monster because he insists on having so much memory--no desk space--can't take it upstairs to the kids rooms or my room). I have had to sneak a few minutes in the evening on his work laptop in order to make this post.  But hopefully soon I will be back online.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

B'sgirl said:


> My computer has been totally dead for almost a week and I have been cut off from the world! I never knew how much I rely on that thing--particularly the internet! My brilliant computer programmer husband has been working on it but waiting for parts, etc. His pride won't let him admit it's a gonner so I have to wait for him to eliminate every little thing before I can convince him to buy me a laptop. (Our computer is a monster because he insists on having so much memory--no desk space--can't take it upstairs to the kids rooms or my room). I have had to sneak a few minutes in the evening on his work laptop in order to make this post.  But hopefully soon I will be back online.


I wondered where you'd been, girlfriend. I was hoping ya'll didn't have another "poop" virus. Glad all is well and tell hubby to hurry cuz it's not the same here without you.


----------



## Maverick2272

On the subject of burning pics and video to DVD, it is often better to use a software program like Roxio or Nero (I prefer Nero and have a DVD plug-in that allows me to copy my DVD movies, handy with kids around losing originals and scratching them!) instead of the drag and drop method. Reason being, the software programs not only allow you to create menus so the pics can be viewed as slide shows and videos browsed on most any DVD player, but they also usually have a 'test' check box. By checking this box, the program will 'compile' the DVD image first, then 'test' to make sure it will burn properly without errors before actually burning the DVD. Doubles your burn time, but cuts way down on 'coasters'.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Maverick2272 said:


> On the subject of burning pics and video to DVD, it is often better to use a software program like Roxio or Nero (I prefer Nero and have a DVD plug-in that allows me to copy my DVD movies, handy with kids around losing originals and scratching them!) instead of the drag and drop method. Reason being, the software programs not only allow you to create menus so the pics can be viewed as slide shows and videos browsed on most any DVD player, but they also usually have a 'test' check box. By checking this box, the program will 'compile' the DVD image first, then 'test' to make sure it will burn properly without errors before actually burning the DVD. Doubles your burn time, but cuts way down on 'coasters'.


I use DVD Decypter for burning my "backed up" DVDs. Have you ever used it?


----------



## Fisher's Mom

LPBeier said:


> Vicki, I too understand the renovation blues.  We owned a "little fixer-uper" for seven years that turned into the Nightmare on Elm Street (actually it was 84th Avenue, but that doesn't go with the movie title very well).


 My uncle calls his house "The Money Pit"! You gotta share some of the worst highlights of your Nightmare On Elm Street!


----------



## Maverick2272

Fisher's Mom said:


> I use DVD Decypter for burning my "backed up" DVDs. Have you ever used it?



Nope, I have Nero but for those DVD's that are 'copyright protected' I have DVDFab 4 which eliminates the copywrite protection and allows you to burn any DVD you want. It also will burn it into different formats like Media Player files for portability and compression on your laptop or even a mobile format for PDA's and cell phones, PSP formats, etc.
I currently have 2 gigs of music and 2 movies on my cell phone, LOL, in case I get bored or stuck in the ER (which seems to happen entirely too often!).


----------



## Maverick2272

Fisher's Mom said:


> My uncle calls his house "The Money Pit"! You gotta share some of the worst highlights of your Nightmare On Elm Street!



Ours is the Nightmare on 54th Ave, sometimes I think we will never be done fixing this place!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Maverick2272 said:


> Nope, I have Nero but for those DVD's that are 'copyright protected' I have DVDFab 4 which eliminates the copywrite protection and allows you to burn any DVD you want. It also will burn it into different formats like Media Player files for portability and compression on your laptop or even a mobile format for PDA's and cell phones, PSP formats, etc.
> I currently have 2 gigs of music and 2 movies on my cell phone, LOL, in case I get bored or stuck in the ER (which seems to happen entirely too often!).


Yep, I'm using DVD Fab 5 which I like a lot. I _was_ using RipIt4Me but then there stopped being updates available so it couldn't handle some of the most recent releases. Like you, I have lots of kids who are less than careful with DVDs so I make back-ups too.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Maverick2272 said:


> Ours is the Nightmare on 54th Ave, sometimes I think we will never be done fixing this place!


Well, you need to share, Buddy. I _love_ hearing about DIY disasters and triumphs.


----------



## Maverick2272

Yea, DVDFab just asked me to update tonight to version 5 from something like 4.8. As far as DIY disasters, try the whole house LOL. When we moved in we had to put in all new wood floors, tuck-point and acid wash the brick, new windows, new furnace, and all new appliances as they took everything with them. And that hasn't even scratched the surface. The bathroom walls were covered over with cheap plastic stuff which is now falling off and revealing the mold and rot, and the cheap 70's kitchen cabinets have for the most part fallen apart and only a couple are left over. Not to mention all the rooms still need new wood trim, and the electrical is soo old I have everything on surge protectors or they might short out.
And all the painting we did when we moved in? Has to be redone (thank you kids!). Plus the wood floors which were supposed to have been done with a hard finish that should have lasted 15 years have to be redone 9 years later as in most places the finish has worn completely off!
DW could go on for days about how we spent three days just pulling staples out of the stairs so we could refinish them as the previous owner put carpet on them and stapled them to death! Oh, and the doors are all banged up and leak like a sieve in winter, this place was a rental before we bought it and one of their kids was allowed to run around the house with a baseball bat smashing doors and windows and trim...


----------



## Maverick2272

Sorry, forgot the plumbing! It all needs redone as well! And the attic space that had to be sealed up and re-insulated so the ceilings didn't get frost on them in the winter!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Oh man, your house must be a Money Pit! I'm guessing you got a good deal on your house to begin with to make you willing to tackle renovating the _whole_ house.

My electrical system is so old, I have a fuse box with glass fuses. At least it's in the kitchen so I don't have to go far when we blow a fuse. The plumbing is almost 85 years old so it's very scary when there is any plumbing problems. I haven't had to refinish the wood floors yet, although they would look better if I did. Haven't had to tuck point the bricks yet except in a few places. No new windows either, although these are original and are nowhere near airtight. They rattle like crazy in a high wind. And I've never been in the attic - I send my sons. (There are raccoons and bats up there that scare me like crazy.) Do you and DW do most of the work yourselves?


----------



## LPBeier

Fisher's Mom said:


> My uncle calls his house "The Money Pit"! You gotta share some of the worst highlights of your Nightmare On Elm Street!


 
I wrote a big description of one room of our house and then lost it (I hate how sometimes my browser opens a new window and other times it writes over the old one).  I will rewrite it tomorrow.


----------



## LadyCook61

Maverick2272 said:


> On the subject of burning pics and video to DVD, it is often better to use a software program like Roxio or Nero (I prefer Nero and have a DVD plug-in that allows me to copy my DVD movies, handy with kids around losing originals and scratching them!) instead of the drag and drop method. Reason being, the software programs not only allow you to create menus so the pics can be viewed as slide shows and videos browsed on most any DVD player, but they also usually have a 'test' check box. By checking this box, the program will 'compile' the DVD image first, then 'test' to make sure it will burn properly without errors before actually burning the DVD. Doubles your burn time, but cuts way down on 'coasters'.


 I make backups of my original movies too.


----------



## LPBeier

Okay, Fisher's Mom, you may regret asking, but I will give you just a sample of our Nightmare on Elm Street Money Pit!

We started in the master bedroom with our renovations.  DH's sister had been living in the house for several years before we bought it from her and that was her room.  She hated the house and didn't do anything with it.  We couldn't believe she spent almost 10 years in that room the way it was.

The bedroom (and laundry room behind it) were actually an add-on in the 70's.  The house was built in the mid 50's and was a tiny 2 bedroom rancher. The add-on was actually the old garage and they made a lean-to for storing firewood into the garage.  The ceiling in the bedroom/laundry was a full 8" lower than the rest of the house, even though on the outside the roof was all level.

The ceiling was plaster and done in a pattern of semi-circles.  It was yellow with cigarette smoke.  The long wall and closet wall were covered in a horrid plastic wallpaper covered with vertical "threads" in shades of pink from light to dark.  The other two walls were painted a very dark fuschia and the floor was covered in an ugly threadbare brown carpet that came to 2" from the window wall, revealing raw plywood underneath.  There were obvious holes in this wall that were allowing ants of all sizes to enter the room as they pleased (we found out that these weren't the only "unwelcome visitors" but that's another horror story).

There was a hideous border in the corners of the ceiling that when we took it off revealed a 3/4" gap between the ceiling and the wall all the way around.  When we filled this we had to plaster over the ceiling and couldn't match the pattern, so we ended up putting a new sconse around; however it was white to blend in.  Oh, yeah, it took 3 scrubs and 4 coats of ceiling paint to get the smell and colour out of the ceiling. When we removed the wallpaper it took with it much of the drywall because there was no primer or paint between the two.  We ended up putting up new drywall because patching was just too much.  On the other wall under the paper were many very large holes (unfilled and up to 3/4") left by the removal of heavy exercise equipment, along with the black marks that outlined where the equipment had been.  The fuschia walls took two coats of special cover-up paint and 3 coats of our pale mauve to cover it.  

When we took the carpet out we found that there was a layer of really ugly linoleum underneath that also had to go.  We put in a laminate floor, but because the room wasn't square and the subfloor was warped (we ended up replacing it but it didn't help), this wasn't easy.  Also finding a nice light fixture that looked good and was flush enough to the ceiling because it was so low was not easy but I finally got a real bargain on one.

When we were done we really were pleased with ourselves; however we didn't get all the ant holes and eventually the yellow in the ceiling started showing through again.  And this was just one room - the rest was just as bad or worse!  We loved the house, but between the never-ending reno's and the mortgage we were glad to sell it.  Our assessment showed that our huge corner lot was worth a lot and our little house was worth $3,000 - by the time we had left we had put more than that into reno's!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

WooHoo, Laurie! I'll bet you _were_ glad to sell that home! You are so right about cigarette smoke being really tough to scrub off. I don't know how you managed it on a ceiling with that shell plaster pattern. Stripping wallpaper is an awful and tedious task, too. I've stripped so much of it now that I will never hang wallpaper again _anywhere_.

Installing drywall is something I really hate too because it's absolutely a 2 person job. I can't physically handle a sheet by myself - even just to carry it in the house. I hate cutting and installing subfloor, too, probably for the same reasons. The big sheets of plywood are too big for me by myself and using smaller ones means more joints to fill. Is your hubby good at this sort of thing?  

When I bought my house at the coast, it had been vacant for over a year and was a HUD home. I made a ridiculously low bid and got it because it looked so awful. But it wasn't livable right then. The living room had cheap paneling on the walls and weird, styrofoam tiles stapled to the ceiling. I figured it was covering up something bad and I was right. I ended up having to install new sheet rock in about 1/4 of the room, including the ceiling. Lots of holes to patch and the only bathroom had no sink or toilet. Still, there were some good surprises like hardwood floors under the hideous, filthy carpeting and tile. All in all, it has turned out wonderfully and my boys are all pretty skilled in home renovation now.


----------



## LPBeier

Fisher's Mom said:


> WooHoo, Laurie! I'll bet you _were_ glad to sell that home!
> 
> Is your hubby good at this sort of thing?


 
In some ways I miss the old house, but mainly yes, we are glad to be out for more reasons than just the renos.

Actually DH wasn't good at manual labour (he was a computer programer/instructor for years until about 2005) but he sure is now. His brother and several of our friends helped and he really learned a lot. I did my share, but my main job was to be a gopher (as in go for this and go for that). I was becoming well known to the Home Depot Associates and even to this day know my way around that store better than some of them! I remember several times where I would just check out and my cell would ring and it would be DH asking me to get something else. So I would park my cart, run and get it and check out again. As for the wood and drywall, The guys at HD were really good about hauling it out and attaching it to my roof rack for me.

We have some reno's here (again we had to deal with cigarette smoke and I am highly allergic) but mostly what we are doing is because we WANT to and not because we HAVE to - there is a big difference.


----------



## expatgirl

ok, with 54 approaching I do NOT do painting or major renovations.......been there done that for MANY years.......still recuperating from carpal tunnel syndrome...now if we were to buy a home it would be a small patio with no yard to mow and perfect move in condition...do not want to look at a paintbrush or roller as long as I live........but you youngins go for it..........


----------



## LPBeier

expatgirl said:


> ok, with 54 approaching I do NOT do painting or major renovations.......been there done that for MANY years.......still recuperating from carpal tunnel syndrome.....


 
Hey, I am with you expat! My part of the renos of this place is picking the colours to be painted and where I want everything to go. I don't even do the running anymore. I am after all only 4 years younger than you and with carpal tunnel, osteoarthritis, FM, tendonitis, chronic back pain from a fracture and now this wonky knee, I think I deserve to sit back and watch. But DH has finally found a hobby and is always building or fixing something which is great.


----------



## suziquzie

My husband ordered a protien skimmer for his reef aquarium from a private party off one of his reef forums..... paid $300 for it thru paypal. I wasn't too thrilled, I don't trust people. 
The box just came, empty, with a note on it saying it was recieved at the post office in NH open and empty. It was coming from MA to MN. The post office sealed it back up and shipped it on its way here anyway. 
I'm so upset, and he's still sleeping. I hope there's a way to be re-imbursed.


----------



## LPBeier

I have to order cake supplies sometimes online and I tell you I am always nervous until it arrives.  Even though I worked in the internet business for years (and we even took paypal), I prefer going into a store and handing over my money at the same time I receive the goods.


----------



## suziquzie

I don't worry so much from a business but just some internet Joe seems like a bad idea. I'm not upset with DH at all, more upset for him. I told you so won't come out of my mouth. I'll just get that part out here with you guys!


----------



## Mama

You should be able to get your money back if you paid using paypal.


----------



## luvs

my Dad saw me a few days ago & called me yesterday to say i'm fat & i've a gut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he says i should weigh 107 pounds like my Mother. i am 5'5" &1/2" & weigh 135 pounds. that's not fat! i was anorexic fer years & finally started eating normal portions & he says that! he wasn't being mean 'bout it. 
i just can't get over him saying that to me. my Dad & Grandfather, if you wanna see hypercritical 'bout fat, that's who you listen to. my gosh, though. 135 POUNDS?! i mean, i used to weigh 76 & had 2 cardiac arrests & now a defribllator. would that make him okay with my weight again?
i'm so pissed.


----------



## LPBeier

Oh, Luvs, I am so very sorry.  Having suffered from a lesser eating disorder myself (secret binge eating but no purging - I would just diet in front of everyone and pig out in private), I totally understand how the comments of others can be so damaging, especially family.  My problem was that my family wouldn't acknowledge when I was losing weight because they "didn't want to draw attention and jinx it" instead of looking at it as positive reinforcement.  

But for your father to say that is reprehensible!!! At your height, 135 should be a comfortable weight and he should be lifting you up for not starving yourself and being more at peace with how you look.

I really hope you don't let this affect you and look to others for positive feedback.  I am sure you are beautiful just the way you are!!!!


----------



## luvs

thanks, beier. i'm not gonna let him upset me too much. i'm just shocked & angry with him. other people comment often how much better i look. my nurse loves my new weight.

my Mom said he's just not used to me being healthy. maybe he misses being that Dad who had a 'project' of a kid.
i'm mad, but staying strong.


i'm sorry you, too, had an eating disorder. they're so easy to fall into & when you try to drag yourself away it's rough.

-luv, luvs


----------



## texasgirl

He stole from me!!MY OWN SON STOLE FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ran out of checks and went to get the next book in sequence, umm, not there, so, I go asking him. I had him go in and get a deposit slip once to deposit his check. I NEVER would have thought this would happen. So, after him SWEARING he didn't know what happened to them, I look online. Well, there are 5 checks for cash that he FORGED my husbands name on and another to a store here, that they actuall cashed!!! I am filing charges on THEM. Freaking idiots, a person comes in that doesn't match who is on there and they take it!!!!!!!!!!
I blew up on him. I grabbed him by the throat and shoved him to the wall. I told him he couldn't have hurt me more if he had shot me. I'm done. I'm so numb right now. I won't tell dh cause I know what will happen. There are still 3 checks in the sequence that have not cleared and the other 15 are unaccounted for. I don't know what to do at this point. The checks that have cleared so far are just over $100. He keeps telling me that the ripped up the rest, I prayed to God is not lying THIS time!!
One way or another, he is going to the NAVY!!! I want them to beat him into submission and straighten him out!! I will never believe him again and I HATE it!!


----------



## Corey123

So sorry to hear that. It's heartbreaking to find out that your own child is a thief.

I hope that this mess gets cleared up and if your son is not staying with you, then so much the better. If he is, then show him some tough love and show him the door!

There's this guy that I've known since he was a little boy. His mom stole from many people, myself included! I used to date her and babysit with the boy. She stole money from me often to buy crack.

Well, long story short, the "boy" is now engaged to get married and his mom had come back into his life. 

No sooner had she done that, money ended up missing again!! 

His wife-to-be had suspected that SHE did it, they both vented out at her and then they evicted her. She was homeless for a while, but now she has her own apt. Hope that she pays the rent.


----------



## buckytom

sorry to hear it, tg, but that sounds like a good plan.

a long time ago, i dropped out of college and was dealing drugs when my dad put me up against a wall and gave me a choice of going into the military, or moving home and getting a job/paying rent/being accountable for every other minute of my time, which he and my mom checked up on constantly.

i wish now i had chosen the military and had saved all of the years that it took me to grow up slowly.



and luvs, nevermind your dad's wisecrack. i'm sure it hurt, but i'm also sure that he didn't mean to hurt you like that. in some backwards way, he may have actually been happy to make a joke about it.
NO ONE HERE wants to see you go back to being sick again. so be strong.


----------



## LadyCook61

texasgirl said:


> He stole from me!!MY OWN SON STOLE FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> I ran out of checks and went to get the next book in sequence, umm, not there, so, I go asking him. I had him go in and get a deposit slip once to deposit his check. I NEVER would have thought this would happen. So, after him SWEARING he didn't know what happened to them, I look online. Well, there are 5 checks for cash that he FORGED my husbands name on and another to a store here, that they actuall cashed!!! I am filing charges on THEM. Freaking idiots, a person comes in that doesn't match who is on there and they take it!!!!!!!!!!
> I blew up on him. I grabbed him by the throat and shoved him to the wall. I told him he couldn't have hurt me more if he had shot me. I'm done. I'm so numb right now. I won't tell dh cause I know what will happen. There are still 3 checks in the sequence that have not cleared and the other 15 are unaccounted for. I don't know what to do at this point. The checks that have cleared so far are just over $100. He keeps telling me that the ripped up the rest, I prayed to God is not lying THIS time!!
> One way or another, he is going to the NAVY!!! I want them to beat him into submission and straighten him out!! I will never believe him again and I HATE it!!


 

I feel your pain and disappointment. I went thru some things with my oldest son about 20 yrs ago, he is now a fine man with a family.  Long story but if you want to know more , you can pm me or email me..
 LadyCook


----------



## babetoo

texasgirl said:


> He stole from me!!MY OWN SON STOLE FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> I ran out of checks and went to get the next book in sequence, umm, not there, so, I go asking him. I had him go in and get a deposit slip once to deposit his check. I NEVER would have thought this would happen. So, after him SWEARING he didn't know what happened to them, I look online. Well, there are 5 checks for cash that he FORGED my husbands name on and another to a store here, that they actuall cashed!!! I am filing charges on THEM. Freaking idiots, a person comes in that doesn't match who is on there and they take it!!!!!!!!!!
> I blew up on him. I grabbed him by the throat and shoved him to the wall. I told him he couldn't have hurt me more if he had shot me. I'm done. I'm so numb right now. I won't tell dh cause I know what will happen. There are still 3 checks in the sequence that have not cleared and the other 15 are unaccounted for. I don't know what to do at this point. The checks that have cleared so far are just over $100. He keeps telling me that the ripped up the rest, I prayed to God is not lying THIS time!!
> One way or another, he is going to the NAVY!!! I want them to beat him into submission and straighten him out!! I will never believe him again and I HATE it!!


 

we had a nephew that did same thing. had no clue til checks started bouncing. we called the police and they charged him with forgery. that made the checks null and void , and became the banks problem. have no clue what happened to him after that. but that was a nephew not a son.

i know u must be in anguish.it is very sad when you can't trust your own kids.does he do drugs?

babe


----------



## LPBeier

Stacy, I really feel for you.  You seem to have had a lot to deal with lately.  Is this the same son who may be the father of the baby?  If so, then he really needs to grow up in a hurry - if he does turn out to be the father he will need to set a better example.  I agree that the military sounds like a good plan.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.  

I would also put a stop payment on the cheques that are unaccounted for as well.  It will cost you a fee, but I am sure it will be less than the amount he could have written the cheques for.


----------



## pdswife

TG... it's just one blow after another in your life.  I'm sorry about your son.  I think I'm even more sorry that you can't talk to your husband about it.  That's really sad.  I can't imagine being married and having children with someone I couldn't talk to or that I was afraid of.


----------



## jpmcgrew

Tg, sorry to hear yet another problem. Tell your son you could have him put in jail for check fraud and forgery and that it's still an option.. I don't think he would enjoy his stay there. I understand why you would not want to tell DH I'm sure he will go thru the roof then again maybe the kid should go to jail after all he did the crime and is getting away with yet another bad deed done to you. If you tell DH maybe he will call the police and if he did it's because your son committed a crime. If son is doing this to you what else is he doing to other people and some day someone could really hurt him because they wont call the police.
You can be sure if I did that to my mother she would have called the police on me. I can guarantee she would she would not put up with that kind of crap with any of us kids.


----------



## jpmcgrew

I just had a thought give your son two options and stick with either he joins the Navy or goes to prison. It may be you will actually need to bring up charges to get him to join the Navy. I had some friends in high school that got in alot of trouble their choice jail or the Navy. They chose the Navy and came out fine upstanding young men.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Stacy, I'm so sorry your son has broken your trust. It's like a knife in your back when your own child would do this to you.

Only you know how things are with DH, but perhaps you could consider a different tact. At this point, your son is a man. As a boy, you felt you needed to protect your son from DH and didn't keep him totally informed about situations with your son. Maybe your son is counting on that as an adult now and made a decision he knew was wrong but felt you would protect him anyway. Old patterns of relationships are very hard to break. Your son stole from his father, too, by forging his name. Perhaps if you reacted in a different way that he is counting on, he will get a wake-up call. (Of course, this is free advice and worth every penny you paid for it.) Just remember your friends here are behind you through this tough time.


----------



## texasgirl

It's not callign the cops that I'm afraid of with dh. It's what will come physically and it wouldn't stop at a shove with DH. I've seen what he does on little things. One thing we have always taught them is that stealing is immoral and distgusting besides being illegal. No, I already told him that if he does not go to the navy, he has 2 weeks to practice for the ASVAB, then, I will tell dh and will press charges on him. He is quite ready to go and now even more ready. My oldest is ready to beat the crap out of him. There are other things that have come to light with this mess and I am so numb and disappointed. He watched as I broke down and when he tried to hug me, I threw him away. That and telling him that he digusted and disappointed me more than he has ever done in his life or anyone for that matter, hit him the hardest. The look on his face was enough to keep me going at him. He has been on the computer all day studying the guide we finally got to pull up that the recruiter gave him. he is already almost doubled his scores on the practice tests on the military website. I told him that is what he is going to be doing all weekend if I have to study with him!!


----------



## texasgirl

Corey123 said:


> I realise that you still might be just a bit lenient with him, otherwise you'd have thrown him out the door, like I would have done!
> 
> God bless, and I hope that you are able to seek some restitution from all this.


 

Nevermind!! I deleted my comment on that one!!


----------



## Corey123

Didn't mean any harm.

I'm sure that you still love your son. He just needs to get some help and I truly hope that he does. And that you and him can rebuild your trust with each other.

I deleted my post as well.


----------



## texasgirl

Corey123 said:


> Didn't mean any harm.
> 
> I'm sure that you still love your son. He just needs to get some help and I truly hope that he does. And that you and him can rebuild your trust with each other.
> 
> I deleted my post as well.


 

No worries. Stressful time and your words just hit me wrong, that's all. It is taking a lot for me to do what I'm doing without backing down, like I normally do. This time though, that is not going to happen.


----------



## texasgirl

buckytom said:


> sorry to hear it, tg, but that sounds like a good plan.
> 
> a long time ago, i dropped out of college and was dealing drugs when my dad put me up against a wall and gave me a choice of going into the military, or moving home and getting a job/paying rent/being accountable for every other minute of my time, which he and my mom checked up on constantly.
> 
> i wish now i had chosen the military and had saved all of the years that it took me to grow up slowly.
> 
> 
> 
> and luvs, nevermind your dad's wisecrack. i'm sure it hurt, but i'm also sure that he didn't mean to hurt you like that. in some backwards way, he may have actually been happy to make a joke about it.
> NO ONE HERE wants to see you go back to being sick again. so be strong.


 
Thanks BT for showing me that my boys have a chance at being a man and a loving person to others as someone that went through similar things.


----------



## Katie H

Sorry to hear your situation, Stacy.  You are doing the right thing by standing firm.  I know it's very hard but, in time, you will know you did the right thing.  Buck and I have had to "stand strong" with some of our children.  It was beyond difficult, but we did it because we knew it was the right thing to do.  No one ever tells you how challenging being a parent can be.  Not a 9-to-5 job but, in the end, rewarding.

Hang in there and come here when you need to vent or need a shoulder.  There's  lots of support and love here to share.


----------



## jpmcgrew

Hang on TG. Now is the time to do what you say, you will give him no more chances just think back how many times you forgave him and yet he wont learn or get it. If you get him in the Navy it will be the greatest thing you can do and you can be sure the Navy will make sure he get's it. It's easy for a kid to keep messing up with mom but the Navy will straighten his little butt up. Actually it will be one of the safest places for him to be at this point. I really hope you stick to your guns. By the way how old is he? I'm sure DH will notice the tension and figure out something is wrong so maybe son better keep a low profile for now until he is enlisted. You did good by not letting him hug you he needs to know he has screwed up for the last time. .Doe's not mean you dont love him it means you love him so much you will not let him ruin his life.


----------



## VickiQ

(((Stacy))) My heart aches for you- this position you're in- been there done that- and I'm sorry I don't have any concrete answers for you.Just know as one mom to another.you are not alone and you will survive. Sending you soooo much love and ENERGY, Vicki


----------



## texasgirl

jpmcgrew said:


> Hang on TG. Now is the time to do what you say, you will give him no more chances just think back how many times you forgave him and yet he wont learn or get it. If you get him in the Navy it will be the greatest thing you can do and you can be sure the Navy will make sure he get's it. It's easy for a kid to keep messing up with mom but the Navy will straighten his little butt up. Actually it will be one of the safest places for him to be at this point. I really hope you stick to your guns. By the way how old is he? I'm sure DH will notice the tension and figure out something is wrong so maybe son better keep a low profile for now until he is enlisted. You did good by not letting him hug you he needs to know he has screwed up for the last time. .Doe's not mean you dont love him it means you love him so much you will not let him ruin his life.


 
He just turned 21 last week. That is why he needs to just go!!

Thank you all for your shoulders! I hate posting here and it seems I stay here lately, but, it helps to let it go here. Most of the time, one of you have been through something similar and can give adivise!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

texasgirl said:


> He just turned 21 last week. That is why he needs to just go!!
> 
> Thank you all for your shoulders! I hate posting here and it seems I stay here lately, but, it helps to let it go here. Most of the time, one of you have been through something similar and can give adivise!!


You're so right, Stacy. _Every_ parent has been through tough things with their kids. But when it's happening with _yours_, you think you are a complete failure and your kid is the most screwed up one in the world. That's why you need to lean hard on your friends here and ya'll will get past this. And for what it's worth, we all know your boy was not raised to steal or lie because we know *you*!!! Even though it feels like he didn't learn any of the things you have taught him, your lessons are still in there. I promise. And he will learn _this_ lesson and go on to be the man you raised him to be. It's a sure thing - look who his mamma is!


----------



## texasgirl

Fisher's Mom said:


> You're so right, Stacy. _Every_ parent has been through tough things with their kids. But when it's happening with _yours_, you think you are a complete failure and your kid is the most screwed up one in the world. That's why you need to lean hard on your friends here and ya'll will get past this. And for what it's worth, we all know your boy was not raised to steal or lie because we know *you*!!! Even though it feels like he didn't learn any of the things you have taught him, your lessons are still in there. I promise. And he will learn _this_ lesson and go on to be the man you raised him to be. It's a sure thing - look who his mamma is!


 
Now look what you've gone and done!
It won't let me give out reputation, says I gave out too much in the last 24 hours.
you have no idea what that means to me cause, failure is what it feels like!
I feel like maybe if i had let them do more instead of keeping them so dang protected or if I had spent more time with them. Thank you!!


----------



## jpmcgrew

Stacy, I just want to remind you that most people here are talking as parents but some like me had to get the serious discipline as kids our selves. I was pretty wild when I was younger nothing to serious but neither my mother or father bailed me out ever. If I needed a loan I knew that if I ever wanted another one I best pay up the last one. The loans where never more than $20.00 or so. I have to admit admit every now and then I would go to my mothers house and steal a can or two of tuna and such. I know now if I had just asked she would have given them to me and a lot more. I worked many many years when I was in my 20s and early 30s only to make enough to make the rent and a few other necessities alot of times no groceries to speak of
. Sometimes no more than $20.00 to last the next paycheck. I don't have to tell you it sucked big time but my independence and my own place was more than worth it. It taught me to search for better jobs and to get better at my craft (cooking and baking) it did pay off handsomely eventually. The only reason I went as far as I did was because I just was not going to get a bail out every time I needed it. It's a hard lesson but it did make me an even better person once I realized I had no one but me to get what I wanted.
I dont know if this is helpfull just my 2 cents.


----------



## texasgirl

jp, my oldest son is actually like that. he has always lived day to day, unless he's here, then, he just blows it all. when he's alone, he never blows it. that is what the youngest needs, i know.


----------



## luvs

thanks, bucky.


----------



## kadesma

texasgirl said:


> jp, my oldest son is actually like that. he has always lived day to day, unless he's here, then, he just blows it all. when he's alone, he never blows it. that is what the youngest needs, i know.


Listen up Stacy, 
I had one who at 25 you would think he was 15..I paid his bills, he had a job, his mony just seemed to evaporate, people were always calling for payment,,it go worse and worse, dh got him sat him down and he had a choice..he joined the air force..And boy did he learn lifes lessons and fast..Then kid you could tell nothing became a yes sir no sir yes maam no maam, he learned a trade now he has 4 men under him, teaches the new ones about air conditioning and heating, makes very good money, owns his own home a beautiful boat nice truck and is a polite kind youg man,,He was always honest thank heaven but he has at last grown up..It was so hurtful to have to make him chooe, but now we don't worry about him and he even admits that our forcing him to make a choice has turned his life around..Stand firm Stacy, let him know you love him but you do NOT like what he has done..Let him know you will always be there but will NOT accept anymore of this behaviour..He is going to make, just make him get his head on straight..Believe any branch of the service will settle hisbusiness he can hate it all he wants, but tought cookies he has to obey..He can do it..Stiff upper lip mom..hang on

cj


----------



## QSis

It's lovely to have a place like this to vent about stupid stuff, as well as important stuff.

Here's my latest pet peeve about something stupid:  I hate the expression "It is what it is".  

I guess people think it sounds wise and accepting, but it's so trite that it's like fingernails on a chalkboard for me.

Lee


----------



## LPBeier

Okay, I am truly going to vent now so be forewarned.

I had another of my bad nights where I only got a couple of hours of broken sleep and was up at 6 AM to feed our border and his family before they left and then get to cleaning the room for our new border who arrived at 3 PM this afternoon. That is not the vent (though the lack of sleep is not great, but I am getting used to it).

About 2:30 this afternoon as I am waiting for DH and the border to arrive, the business phone rings. I was going to let the machine get it as I was taking the weekend off but decided I should answer it. I no sooner say hello and this woman on the other end is swearing at me every word in the book and telling me that she is going to make sure my business licence is taken away, blah, blah, blah. I ask what this is all about and she says she has been waiting an hour and a half for the catered food she ordered for her daughter's bridal shower. 

I purposely did not book anything for this weekend because of the border change and didn't even recognize the name or the voice.

But she was relentless, saying she booked well in advance and had gotten my name from a friend who highly recommended me. I checked my scheduler and confirmed I had nothing booked for this woman.....ever! But she would not let up. Then she mentioned the name of "my" company, and guess what! It wasn't my company, but another caterer all together.

Well, she just hung up. No apology, no anything. She just slammed the phone in my ear.

I now have her name in my book - under people never to do business with.


----------



## texasgirl

QSis said:


> It's lovely to have a place like this to vent about stupid stuff, as well as important stuff.
> 
> Here's my latest pet peeve about something stupid: I hate the expression "It is what it is".
> 
> I guess people think it sounds wise and accepting, but it's so trite that it's like fingernails on a chalkboard for me.
> 
> Lee


 
I also hate, "We shall see what we shall see"  you think??


----------



## texasgirl

LPBeier said:


> Okay, I am truly going to vent now so be forewarned.
> 
> I had another of my bad nights where I only got a couple of hours of broken sleep and was up at 6 AM to feed our border and his family before they left and then get to cleaning the room for our new border who arrived at 3 PM this afternoon. That is not the vent (though the lack of sleep is not great, but I am getting used to it).
> 
> About 2:30 this afternoon as I am waiting for DH and the border to arrive, the business phone rings. I was going to let the machine get it as I was taking the weekend off but decided I should answer it. I no sooner say hello and this woman on the other end is swearing at me every word in the book and telling me that she is going to make sure my business licence is taken away, blah, blah, blah. I ask what this is all about and she says she has been waiting an hour and a half for the catered food she ordered for her daughter's bridal shower.
> 
> I purposely did not book anything for this weekend because of the border change and didn't even recognize the name or the voice.
> 
> But she was relentless, saying she booked well in advance and had gotten my name from a friend who highly recommended me. I checked my scheduler and confirmed I had nothing booked for this woman.....ever! But she would not let up. Then she mentioned the name of "my" company, and guess what! It wasn't my company, but another caterer all together.
> 
> Well, she just hung up. No apology, no anything. She just slammed the phone in my ear.
> 
> I now have her name in my book - under people never to do business with.


 
At least you have her name if she does ever call for your business!! How RUDE!!!! Makes you want to call her back, doesn't it!!


----------



## pdswife

Laurie, I would have hung up on her in the middle of her yelling and screaming fit!  HOW RUDE!!!!!! And how dang mean of her.


----------



## suziquzie

Laurie, do you have caller ID??
gimme the number.... I'll pay the international fee to RAIL ON HER .......


love ya!


----------



## luvs

that lady sounds wacky, laurie.


----------



## kadesma

Laurie, I can take a lot of guff, but scream at me like that..I'm afraid she would have a hard time hearing for about 6 months..Neighbor who is a retired police detective, gave me a whistle and said pucker up and blow if you get one of those!!! Sorry you had to put up with that.

kades


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks, everyone.  I am usually good at dealing with calls like that, and soliciation calls, but I think because I was tired, and it was regarding my business which I have worked hard to gain a good reputation, I was taken totally off guard.  But, yes, I do have her name and number and I was thinking I would phone up the company she DID order from and order a whole bunch of food to be delivered to her with payment on delivery!  I can block my number on my home phone so they won't know where the call came from.....
Nah, but it sounds good!


----------



## amber

I recalled this venting thread and I need to!  I'm going to sound like a country and western song here, but we put our dog to sleep on May 12 because of cancer, and my husband (age 37) wants a divorce because he is now with a 20 year old girl.  He just moved out today to an apartment with her.  It's been a lovely several months for me.    We are not even divorced, so imagine my mind set right now and for the past several months.  I dont know how I've survived.  I dont work, he does, and he wont pay for anything.  What a guy huh?

My sister is here visiting me for moral support, and I'll get strong again and figure out what to do about it all.  Thanks for listening.


----------



## LPBeier

amber said:


> I recalled this venting thread and I need to! I'm going to sound like a country and western song here, but we put our dog to sleep on May 12 because of cancer, and my husband (age 37) wants a divorce because he is now with a 20 year old girl. He just moved out today to an apartment with her. It's been a lovely several months for me.  We are not even divorced, so imagine my mind set right now and for the past several months. I dont know how I've survived. I dont work, he does, and he wont pay for anything. What a guy huh?
> 
> My sister is here visiting me for moral support, and I'll get strong again and figure out what to do about it all. Thanks for listening.


 
Oh, Amber, I am so sorry to hear this terrible news.  No, you don't sound like a country and western song, you sound like a strong woman who has just been dealt one blow after the other.  My heart and prayers go out to you.  Vent all you want here.  I have found out from recent experience that there are a lot of wonderful people here to support you.


----------



## buckytom

wow, that sucks, ambuh.

get a lawyer, asap.

something tells me the greater loss is your dog.


----------



## expatgirl

Dear Amber, 

That took a lot of courage on your part.........I'm so sorry to hear.......and no you don't sound like a country and western song.......I know that there are a lot of people on here who will sympathize with you.......cheating spouses are everywhere no matter what countries......you should be where I live.---too political and i"ll be chastized so I won't go there....please hang in there and do as buckytom suggests if you can afford it and get a good lawyer......it's worth it esp. if y'all have any assets at all.....we're here for you........


----------



## kadesma

Amber, I'm so sorry all this is happening to you..Life can be so cruel at times, it makes you feel as if you can never be happy..Believe me sweetie, even though you won't agree right now, you are better off. I don't understand someone who supposedly loved you can be such a putz...Listen to Buckytom get a lawyer..a good one..Mr is going to have to fork over or else..Wages can be attached!!Half of everything is yours!!! Oh my 20 something,sound great does it not?  Well, 30 is just 
around the corner, wrinkles and saddlebags too...Won't it be fun for her when he goes through male menopause? Woo Hoo..Look what she has to look forward to..You just lucked out of it..I don't mean to be flip, I know you are deeply hurt and I would be as well. Just remember,all of us care for  and about you..Use us to yell at,cry, bite our ankle and lean on and we will support you all we can.. Chin up, you are special we can see that.
hugs to you,
kadesma


----------



## LadyCook61

amber said:


> I recalled this venting thread and I need to! I'm going to sound like a country and western song here, but we put our dog to sleep on May 12 because of cancer, and my husband (age 37) wants a divorce because he is now with a 20 year old girl. He just moved out today to an apartment with her. It's been a lovely several months for me.  We are not even divorced, so imagine my mind set right now and for the past several months. I dont know how I've survived. I dont work, he does, and he wont pay for anything. What a guy huh?
> 
> My sister is here visiting me for moral support, and I'll get strong again and figure out what to do about it all. Thanks for listening.


 Amber,  my deepest sympathies on having to put your dog down.  
   hugs,
    LadyCook.


----------



## middie

Amber that's horrible. I'm so sorry about your dog. It's tough I know.
About the soon to be ex... you're better off !


----------



## texasgirl

Oh wow, jeez, Amber!! I'm soo sorry about your dog!! The husband, that is  hard one! What a CREEP!! Do at BT says, get a lawyer, QUICK!! Find one that takes cases on win situations, sorry, can't remember the word for it. This is your husbands fault, make him pay for it!!! You'll win this one. Kick him where it hurts girl!! All the luck and good wishes to you!!


----------



## pdswife

Hope things get better soon.  Good thoughts to you.


----------



## LPBeier

I thought I would post this as an addendum to the vent on my "outraged non-client" call yesterday. About 9 o'clock last night I got a call from the owner of the other catering company who had the contract. I guess she told him about the call (and had the nerve to say that it was ME who was rude to HER). He wanted to apologize and thought I might be interested in why he didn't deliver the food....she had given him the wrong address and her phone was busy (probably phoning every caterer in town looking for her food). 

I think it might be safe to say this woman will find it difficult to get anything catered in the future!!!! 

I feel MUCH better now.


----------



## expatgirl

yep, cross her off your list of clients do deal with.......some people you can NEVER satisfy


----------



## suziquzie

Good Laurie, I'm glad you got that load off! It was noce of the other company owner to call you.... 

Amber I'm so sorry I don't know what to say besides that in time you will come to find he is the one that lost, not you. 
Especially when he finds that it ain't all about the looks, and there's nobody upstairs!!!


----------



## jpmcgrew

Yep, Amber get a lawyer and take him for all you can get show him no mercy. When he has to pay you lets see how long his little girlfriend sticks around then.  I am also very sorry about your dog. If you guys have a joint account on any thing clean it out before he doe's.


----------



## expatgirl

jpmcgrew said:


> Yep, Amber get a lawyer and take him for all you can get show him no mercy. When he has to pay you lets see how long his little girlfriend sticks around then.  I am also very sorry about your dog. If you guys have a joint account on any thing clean it out before he doe's.


  yep go for the jugular.......you can deal with his apologies later if there are any.........don't hold your breath however..........what is it with these guys at this age............the 50's also bring on some weird stuff.........I'm just thinking about the guys in our overseas office...........whose wives won't join them over here.......are they nuts.....???


----------



## kadesma

have you ever felt so frustrated that you want to go running outside and just stand and bay at the moon? To want to kick the living daylights out of anything in your way? To cry til there are no tears left? Right now I'm feeling all these things plus I feel completely hopeless and helpless.I just was told that friends of ours will be holding a memory of our daughter next sunday hoping against hope that she will still be with us..Her name is Maya Rose, but I call her my little angel..She is the same age as Cade,7, she has never seen the sun nor her mom,dad,nor brother..She feels them but does not know them. She has never had the pleasure of tasting food, it's just pumped into her, she has never walked,talked nor smiled and laughed..To most people, she is just existing ,but to us,she is God's gift to us..My Cade is the only person I know who gets a response from her..She quiets when he touches her, when he speaks, she makes these little noises, you see she can't speak, just makes a little squeeking noise..She was born with  a brain that is not working but I swear she knows Cade..She is always very restless except when he sits and hold her hand,,then it's as if there is complete peace within..Our little angel is spending her last days at home,her little kidney have completely stopped working, she has lost all her weight, and can keep nothing down now. next monday she will be taken by Hospice to a special home for little ones who are dying..Her mom, dad and brother will go with her..Time for her is very short..Can I ask that you pray for Maya that her journey that is about to begin is easy and we are able to say our last goodbyes to her next Sunday..This is not so much a vent as someone wishing she could trade places with this beautiful little girl
kadesma


----------



## LadyCook61

my dear kadesma... my heart goes out you and prayers are being said for all ....  I cannot imagine how difficult it is for all of you.  Sending big cyber hugs... ((((kadsema)))   Diane


----------



## kadesma

LadyCook61 said:


> my dear kadesma... my heart goes out you and prayers are being said for all ....  I cannot imagine how difficult it is for all of you.  Sending big cyber hugs... ((((kadsema)))   Diane


Thank you Diane,
that hug feels so good.
cj


----------



## LPBeier

My dear friend, my heart goes out to you, Cade and Maya's family.  Please check your PM.

Laurie


----------



## babetoo

kadesma said:


> have you ever felt so frustrated that you want to go running outside and just stand and bay at the moon? To want to kick the living daylights out of anything in your way? To cry til there are no tears left? Right now I'm feeling all these things plus I feel completely hopeless and helpless.I just was told that friends of ours will be holding a memory of our daughter next sunday hoping against hope that she will still be with us..Her name is Maya Rose, but I call her my little angel..She is the same age as Cade,7, she has never seen the sun nor her mom,dad,nor brother..She feels them but does not know them. She has never had the pleasure of tasting food, it's just pumped into her, she has never walked,talked nor smiled and laughed..To most people, she is just existing ,but to us,she is God's gift to us..My Cade is the only person I know who gets a response from her..She quiets when he touches her, when he speaks, she makes these little noises, you see she can't speak, just makes a little squeeking noise..She was born with a brain that is not working but I swear she knows Cade..She is always very restless except when he sits and hold her hand,,then it's as if there is complete peace within..Our little angel is spending her last days at home,her little kidney have completely stopped working, she has lost all her weight, and can keep nothing down now. next monday she will be taken by Hospice to a special home for little ones who are dying..Her mom, dad and brother will go with her..Time for her is very short..Can I ask that you pray for Maya that her journey that is about to begin is easy and we are able to say our last goodbyes to her next Sunday..This is not so much a vent as someone wishing she could trade places with this beautiful little girl
> kadesma


 


i am so sad for you. it would break me i am afraid. you are very brave to have come this far. 

give this babe a tiny hug for me. 

we have a eight year old, that drown when she was two. pretty much nothing functions for her. she is not aware , i don't think so anyway. it hurts my heart to think of her. all my very best wishes. 

babe


----------



## buckytom

oh, kads.

what can be said, except to know that god is with you and maya rose.

some things are so outside of any kind of reasoning that the only two ways to fathom them are the low road of anger and sadness, or the higher of hope and love.

i'll pray that you are able to realize the latter in this in someway, and your faith reamains strong throughout.


----------



## amber

I wish I could help all of you on here that need support in your lives right now.  I only have enough energy to think of my situation right now, and wanted to thank everyone for your support.  I can't tell you how much it's helped me just knowing people are here that care.

I want a lawyer BT, but I cannot afford to pay for one, though I might have to bite the bullet and tell them I would have to owe them when and if I have the means to do so. Here in Maine we have "no fault" divorce, aka irreconsilable differences, so I dont know if adultery would be considered.  Ok just saying makes me think I do need to speak with a lawyer....period.  I need advice and fast.

Get this, my husband said he wants to fill out our divorce papers at some restaurant or somewhere because his honey would be jealous if he came here to the house.  Did I mention he moved out yesterday to an apartment with her?  Yep, very nice.  What a slime bag.  

I love all of your comments everyone, and your all right, it wont last for him and her.  My father in law even said to my husband that this is a mistake, that he's old enough to be her father   And he mentioned to him that I could take him to court.  I hope I can!  I will never forget this pain, and will screw him to the wall if I can for what he's put me through.  

Thanks again for all the positive reinforcement everyone!  Thank god my sister came up to visit me for moral support


----------



## LadyCook61

amber said:


> I wish I could help all of you on here that need support in your lives right now.  I only have enough energy to think of my situation right now, and wanted to thank everyone for your support.  I can't tell you how much it's helped me just knowing people are here that care.
> 
> I want a lawyer BT, but I cannot afford to pay for one, though I might have to bite the bullet and tell them I would have to owe them when and if I have the means to do so. Here in Maine we have "no fault" divorce, aka irreconsilable differences, so I dont know if adultery would be considered.  Ok just saying makes me think I do need to speak with a lawyer....period.  I need advice and fast.
> 
> Get this, my husband said he wants to fill out our divorce papers at some restaurant or somewhere because his honey would be jealous if he came here to the house.  Did I mention he moved out yesterday to an apartment with her?  Yep, very nice.  What a slime bag.
> 
> I love all of your comments everyone, and your all right, it wont last for him and her.  My father in law even said to my husband that this is a mistake, that he's old enough to be her father   And he mentioned to him that I could take him to court.  I hope I can!  I will never forget this pain, and will screw him to the wall if I can for what he's put me through.
> 
> Thanks again for all the positive reinforcement everyone!  Thank god my sister came up to visit me for moral support


 
 Maybe you can qualify for Legal Aid, which is for people on low income.


----------



## buckytom

geez, whatever happened to "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"?

ambuh, "now remember, if things look bad and it looks like you're not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. i mean plumb, mad-dog mean."

just an fyi: lawyers "work" {{{gag-choke}}}, or should i say "take" a third of whatever you have.

so if you have any assets at all, including your not-too-soon-to-be-ex-hubby's income, one will swim up from the bottom to "help" you take your share so they can suck out their portion.

god bless america.


----------



## Bilby

Wow!!! I have been reading this since page 235!!  Seems there has been a lot going on in the DC World during my absence, and generally not good!  There are too many of you needing support at the moment for me to mention by name but my thoughts are with you all.


----------



## redkitty

Nice to see you Bilby!


----------



## Bilby

redkitty said:


> Nice to see you Bilby!


Thank you muchly!  Nice to be back on the forums again, although it is very difficult to decide which threads to read - there are so many active ones!!!


----------



## LPBeier

Bilby, I was just thinking about you last night and how I needed to message you to make sure you were okay.  Glad to see you posting.


----------



## suziquzie

Laurie I thought the same thing last night! 
Glad she's alive and kickin...... just don't kick me!!!!


----------



## Bilby

LPBeier said:


> Bilby, I was just thinking about you last night and how I needed to message you to make sure you were okay. Glad to see you posting.


Haven't even turned the laptop on for a couple of weeks Laurie.  Thanks for your kind thoughts though.  I am just glad that May is over!! LOL Nothing major just a series of pain in butt scenarios. Just gave up trying to get on the web after a while!!


----------



## Bilby

suziquzie said:


> Laurie I thought the same thing last night!
> Glad she's alive and kickin...... just don't kick me!!!!


Spoil sport!!


----------



## kadesma

Good to see you Bilby..I've been wondering if you were okay.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

amber said:


> I recalled this venting thread and I need to!  I'm going to sound like a country and western song here, but we put our dog to sleep on May 12 because of cancer, and my husband (age 37) wants a divorce because he is now with a 20 year old girl.  He just moved out today to an apartment with her.  It's been a lovely several months for me.    We are not even divorced, so imagine my mind set right now and for the past several months.  I dont know how I've survived.  I dont work, he does, and he wont pay for anything.  What a guy huh?
> 
> My sister is here visiting me for moral support, and I'll get strong again and figure out what to do about it all.  Thanks for listening.


Amber, I am so sorry to hear of all the awful things that are happening in your life right now. First, I'm so sorry about the loss of your dog. Second, even if your hubby has been/is a jerk, he's the person you loved enough to marry so it's a huge loss. Most of us plan when we marry to spend the rest of our lives with our spouse and shape our lives around that. When one suddenly leaves, it's devastating and forces us to rethink our whole lives. Plus, there's often a deep feeling of failure. I know your heart is broken and I really feel for you. Cry when you need to and lean on your friends for support. (This is a great place to go for support.)

The advice about a lawyer is good advice to help you get through the immediate financial restructuring. Also, I don't know anything about your educational or work background but you may need some training or classes to help with re-entering the workforce. Your state will probably have some sort of a centralized job database and often they offer training and classes as part of their services. Even though you're feeling numb right now, going through the steps to going to work might help you get through this one day at a time.

Don't feel ashamed or embarrassed about posting here - you are part of this community and we take care of each other. So keep us up on how things are going.

Terry


----------



## jpmcgrew

Hey Amber! When I had a problem with a bad boyfriend my brother used to say " So where doe's he live? Do you you want me to go over there and kick his A##?  I bet we could get Uncle Bob to round up his many braves  and along with the DC posse go see him and do a little rearranging to your BH.


----------



## suziquzie

LOL jpm I am just picturing this odd posse led by Clark Gable amd Homer Simpson.........


----------



## Mama

suziquzie said:


> LOL jpm I am just picturing this odd posse led by Clark Gable amd Homer Simpson.........


He better look out now!


----------



## In the Kitchen

*amber*

I came on this area 'venting' as I wanted to spout off 'again'.  Reading your comments really made me forget what I wanted to ask about.  I am truly sorry for your time that you are having right now.  

Reading this only reminds me of the pain I experienced 'way back when'.  So grateful it is over but the man wants to come back!  After he ruined my life, then he thinks about what he did.  Losing your dog, in my opinion, is harder than your husband.  I lost  my best  friend and support when I went through divorce, my mother passed away.  Saying, rains it pours, sure does.  Supposed to make us strong and build character? Maybe.  I know most people who suffer the most, seem to be the strongest.

If he has young girl, give it time.  Something new always is great.  She will not have the understanding and love that you do.  You always have been so understanding it hurts me to read this.  Having your parents and family for support is a blessing.  Important thing now is to look for positives in your life.  You are not alone in something like this.  Writing on this forum is truly healing, has always been for me.  So many many people are on the tv and radio giving advice about this problem.    

I could write on and on about this, but please be sure I am thinking and most of all praying for you to be strong and have courage and divine inner strength.    I know you believe in prayer cause you have written about things that show you do.  Trust and lean on Him.  May sound cliche to some but I have gotten much closer since my divorce.  Maybe that is why I had to go through what I did.  (I believe I open myself too much on this site and people have tendency to not understand.  But for someone who is in pain, I will do whatever I possibly can to help, regardless of critical comments) 

Just do not get down on yourself.  When you have people around who love and care about you, you must be important to them.  I am only thankful you said you have family.  Take care and treat yourself as good as you can.  It is not the end of the world.  Please keep in touch, amber.


----------



## jpmcgrew

suziquzie said:


> LOL jpm I am just picturing this odd posse led by Clark Gable amd Homer Simpson.........


 I can see them now racing over there on their shetland ponies brandishing their rubber swords and paper mache guns.


----------



## LPBeier

This really isn't a full vent, but rather a disappointment.  The doctor's appointment that I have been waiting for with the surgeon regarding my knee was postponed because he had an emorgency surgery.  But since the appointment was supposed to be six months from now and the receptionist got me in on a cancellation (because my paperwork got lost in the shuffle), I can't complain too much that it isn't until next week.  It is just that you get yourself in the mindset for something and it doesn't happen.  But I am sure the person that needed the surgery was in worse shape than me.


----------



## Katie H

Don't usually have anything to vent about, but today was an "eventful" day.  Not in a good way.

I was down at our shop working on a customer's job.  Making custom bumpers for a cradle that is probably 100+-years-old.  Sailing away just fine.  Got all the fabric cut to specs, cut the  foam to the right dimensions, same for the poly  batting to wrap the foam in.  As I was cutting the last 2 parts of the  "foundation" for the cradle base, my hand slipped with the rotary cutter.

In a flash, the thumb-side of my left index finger was sliced off.  Cleanly.  I'd just put a new blade in the rotary cutter.

Crap.  Crap.  Crap.  Crap.  Blood everywhere.  Not on the fabric, thank heavens.

Tied up my finger and cleaned up the cutting table.

Still bleeding a bit from time to time and I'm sure it's going to take a long while to heal.  At least it was my left hand.

Before anyone says, "Go to the doc."  No real reason to.  I just have to keep the wound clean and bandaged.  Clean cut that has to run its course.

Maybe I can milk this one for some extra help/stuff from Buck.

Thanks for  listening.


----------



## jpmcgrew

Katie E said:


> Don't usually have anything to vent about, but today was an "eventful" day. Not in a good way.
> 
> I was down at our shop working on a customer's job. Making custom bumpers for a cradle that is probably 100+-years-old. Sailing away just fine. Got all the fabric cut to specs, cut the foam to the right dimensions, same for the poly batting to wrap the foam in. As I was cutting the last 2 parts of the "foundation" for the cradle base, my hand slipped with the rotary cutter.
> 
> In a flash, the thumb-side of my left index finger was sliced off. Cleanly. I'd just put a new blade in the rotary cutter.
> 
> Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Blood everywhere. Not on the fabric, thank heavens.
> 
> Tied up my finger and cleaned up the cutting table.
> Still bleeding a bit from time to time and I'm sure it's going to take a long while to heal. At least it was my left hand.
> 
> Before anyone says, "Go to the doc." No real reason to. I just have to keep the wound clean and bandaged. Clean cut that has to run its course.
> 
> Maybe I can milk this one for some extra help/stuff from Buck.
> 
> Thanks for listening.


 I've done the same but either with a knife or a mandoline. Here is a good trick take a womens mini pad and cut it to size, clean cut and cover with neosporine or the old fashioned Bag Balm ( my personal choice)cover with the cut piece and wrap with tape. The wound will not stick to pad then change once a day. EMTs use these pads large and small for major bleeding accidents and swear by them.


----------



## luvs

Pens lost tonite. i'm soo upset. we played a beautiful way throughout, though.


----------



## suziquzie

My baby Nemo eggs are gone.  
Maybe they'll have more again sometime.


----------



## Katie H

jpmcgrew said:


> I've done the same but either with a knife or a mandoline. Here is a good trick take a womens mini pad and cut it to size, clean cut and cover with neosporine or the old fashioned Bag Balm ( my personal choice)cover with the cut piece and wrap with tape. The wound will not stick to pad then change once a day. EMTs use these pads large and small for major bleeding accidents and swear by them.



Omigosh,  jp!  You're on to it.  I'm  going to have  to scour  the  house for  mini pads,  etc.   Great idea.  The Band-Aids just  aren't  cuttin' it.  This idea  should get me through the night without messin' up my fresh sheets. Thanks.


----------



## luvs

oh, my, yeah. my nurse instructed me to place a pad over my feeding tube opening when 'twas leaky (called a stoma & they leak!!!!!!!!!!)
i was like, 'huh?'
she was like 'yeah, a pad, like put a quarter in a machine, a pad.'
so someone gave me a pad & i taped that over & that worked better than gauze, hear me when i say that!


----------



## LPBeier

Okay, I know have vented a lot lately but I am just having a really emotional day.

My DH works at a recovery house and I have gotten to know some of the guys there and you try not to get involved, but your heart just goes out to them because they are trying their hardest.  Well, one of the guys left the house today because of frustrations and Tony talked him to coming here just until he figured out what he was going to do.  He seemed happy to be here and was "just going out for awhile"; however, all of his stuff is here and we have heard nothing from him since before noon.  DH went looking for him, but there was no sign.  My heart is just breaking for him but there is nothing I can do but pray.

At the same time, DD asked last night if she could move home because things aren't going well with her family again.  Also, she and her BF have both been finally diagnosed today with a bacterial infection which is contageous and doesn't react well to most anti-biotics.  He is in the hospital and hates them.  He is so afraid he isn't going to make it and she has to be with him 24/7 but is not well herself.

We are getting used to a new border who is really nice, but there are always hiccups in the beginning.  He isn't like the last one in both good and bad ways.  

Plus, the appointment I had to see a surgeon about my knee got cancelled yesterday due to an emergency surgery (it is rebooked for next week).  I know it can't be helped, but my knee is getting worse and I was so looking forward to getting something started finally.

I guess I am just exhausted physically and emotionally and all of this is just taking it's toll.  Thanks for listening to me once again.


----------



## pdswife

vent away!  COme on over to the chat room.. .we're there.


----------



## Maverick2272

Sooo, this means they were right all along in that it wasn't the appendix? Kinda sounds like an infection I got that started on my face and wound up in my ear, blew it up like a cauliflower. Had to spend a week in the hospital waiting while they slowly got it back down to normal. It was resistant to the common anti-biotics as well. Worst part is being quarantined so I can't see my kids at all, and with no babysitter or anyone to watch the kids didn't see much of DW either...


----------



## LPBeier

I am very sorry to hear that, Maverick.

No, they are still not positive her appendix isn't part of it and her BF also has chest pains that they haven't figured out yet.  It is just getting so soap-operaish (the doctor stuff, not the kids), that I am really getting frazzled by the whole thing.  I hurt for her on so many levels right now, and yet I also have my own stuff to deal with.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

OK friends, I got some very spooky lab reports yesterday that indicates I have a specific gene that puts me at extremely high risk for heart disease and my labs (that were done as part of this study) were almost all off the charts which indicates I almost certainly already _have_ atherosclerosis (coronary artery disease). I have an appt. tomorrow to get started on meds and I don't know what all else. Does anybody else have this? I am like the healthiest person I know - really. Until this, no chronic illness or conditions. It's really shocking to me that there is stuff going on inside that I had no idea was happening.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Oh man, Laurie, a drug-resistant infection is so scary. Not only that, it may very well not be the thing that made your daughter sick in the first place. This may be something she picked up in the hospital trying to find out what her original problem was/is. Hospitals are the #1 source of resistant infections. How is she feeling right now?


----------



## kadesma

Fisher's Mom said:


> OK friends, I got some very spooky lab reports yesterday that indicates I have a specific gene that puts me at extremely high risk for heart disease and my labs (that were done as part of this study) were almost all off the charts which indicates I almost certainly already _have_ atherosclerosis (coronary artery disease). I have an appt. tomorrow to get started on meds and I don't know what all else. Does anybody else have this? I am like the healthiest person I know - really. Until this, no chronic illness or conditions. It's really shocking to me that there is stuff going on inside that I had no idea was happening.


Terry,I know you will think oh shut up, but, relax and just go with what the doc says..Remember what I said about meds? Just pm me and we can go from there..Don't be afraid and the last thing you need to do is worry, your heart is most likely fine right now, just take your meds and keep as calm as possible..What you have is something that is all over the world..You will handle it just fine..I have blood pressure problems, that is what caused my kidneys to fail..The doctor said that my heart was so strong, he couldn't believe it at first..So we trade one thing for another..
MY dh is so good at explaining to me and it sure helps..It also takes away some of that gut wrenching fear..Let all of us help you as much as we can..If you have a specific question, and want me to, I'll ask dh..Rest, be calm, sit back and enjoy those beautiful children of yours..
hugs to you ,
cj


----------



## texasgirl

Like kads said, she can help you understand what all they are giving you, believe, I put her to the test before, lol
Your fine, I mean, you give your heart so willingly to us all the time, you just need a little boost for it!! My thoughts are with you today!!


----------



## LPBeier

Terry, thank you for your concern for my daughter and her BF, she is in rough shape both emotionally and physically right now.

But more importantly, I agree with Stacy and Kades, that you need to relax and and just take it all in slowly.  Get yourself informed about these problems so you know where you stand.  And yes, converse with Kades, she will guide you right.  Also, PM me any time if you need to "let it out".  I too know about getting diagnoses "sprung" on me.  My prayers and thoughts are with you.  You, yourself say you are a strong and healthy person and you will get through this.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Why?*

I have taught my kids from little on not to have prejudices.  So far they have been terrific!  Sons had friends who are homosexuals, porno business, some selling things that were not legal.  Girls pal with lesbians, pregnant and moms not married, also some prostitutes.  instead of condemning them for it, I look to it as form of life that we all hear about.  Isn't that what we are supposed to do is help one another if they  ask?  These kids that they pal around with are considered not acceptable by most.  They come to the house and I do not want to know what they do, treat them all the same.  Kind of bothers me that the parents aren't more involved in their lives and try to understand their problems.  

My  question is why do people look down on my family when they are only trying to befriend these kinds of people with their lifestyles.  They never ask them about it but only give them his  feeling about his own lifestyle.  I brought them up to know that what they do in life they have to answer to a power much greater than the local authorities.  None have been in jail, (so far) gotten any kind of tickets, but my family get criticized for acceptance of these individuals.  

In this world, you have to be very strong and trust your gut feelings about many things.  It truly hurts when someone makes comments about your kids and don't know the reasons why they do the things they do.  I don't like the lifestyle but why condemn them for something they may regret later on in life.  Can we not live and let live?


----------



## jpmcgrew

Katie E said:


> Omigosh, jp! You're on to it. I'm going to have to scour the house for mini pads, etc. Great idea. The Band-Aids just aren't cuttin' it. This idea should get me through the night without messin' up my fresh sheets. Thanks.


 Not only that but when you change the dressing it wont stick like plain gauze those little pads are a great thing to keep around along with first aid tape. If you can manage to keep it clean you can change it every two or three days. I have never found bandaids good for much because the cut is so small you don't usually need one and maybe because my cuts are usually pretty bad but the are great for kids and their boo boos. Also I think Bag Balm is one of the best things for cuts ever.


----------



## Katie H

jpmcgrew said:


> Not only that but when you change the dressing it wont stick like plain gauze those little pads are a great thing to keep around along with first aid tape. If you can manage to keep it clean you can change it every two or three days. I have never found bandaids good for much because the cut is so small you don't usually need one and maybe because my cuts are usually pretty bad but the are great for kids and their boo boos. Also I think Bag Balm is one of the best things for cuts ever.



Tried the mini pad thing, jp.   Perfect for "soaking" up the blood  and  kept the sheets pristine.

When I got up  this morning, the "bandage" was soaked so I took it  off.  Turns out the panty liners I  have don't have the  nonstick surface, so  I opened up the  flood gates again.  In between sessions of mopping and compressing, I found a Band-Aid large enough  that DID have a Telfa surface.  Put that on, then a panty  liner bandage.  Gotta get some of the nonstick liners 'cause I know this thing's going to take a while to stop "leaking."

Thanks  for  the tip.


----------



## jpmcgrew

Katie E said:


> Tried the mini pad thing, jp. Perfect for "soaking" up the blood and kept the sheets pristine.
> 
> When I got up this morning, the "bandage" was soaked so I took it off. Turns out the panty liners I have don't have the nonstick surface, so I opened up the flood gates again. In between sessions of mopping and compressing, I found a Band-Aid large enough that DID have a Telfa surface. Put that on, then a panty liner bandage. Gotta get some of the nonstick liners 'cause I know this thing's going to take a while to stop "leaking."
> 
> Thanks for the tip.


 I was thinking something different than the panty ones but the other ones that are light. Also make sure you tape real snug but not so much you lose circulation. Sounds like you are a bleeder when you get cut I'm the same way. I think thats why I like the Bag Balm which is actually used for cows udders it's a salve for rough dry udders but also has an antiseptic for minor infections I have even used it as a lip balm. Once I cut myself so bad on the mandoline I had a thick slice on my finger that was just barely attached I used the balm and the cut pads and wrapped snug the flap it actually grew back together. Still have a scar but other than that it worked out great. Are you familiar with Bag Balm? I know it's for cows udders but I have used it for many years it works great on the cracked skin on hand and fingers. Many people keep a container in the house for these purposes. Will put up the web site I really believe it's better than Neosporin.


----------



## Katie H

Yes, I'm familiar with Bag Balm.  Live in a  farming community.  Readily available here.  Good to know as I have a negative reaction to Neosporin.  Thanks again.


----------



## jpmcgrew

Katie E said:


> Yes, I'm familiar with Bag Balm. Live in a farming community. Readily available here. Good to know as I have a negative reaction to Neosporin. Thanks again.


 It is so good it's sold in some druge stores. For DC folks that are not familiar with this product. Just read the feed back on this site.
Buy Vermont's Original Bag Balm Protective Ointment Online at drugstore.com


----------



## Maverick2272

In the Kitchen said:


> I have taught my kids from little on not to have prejudices.  So far they have been terrific!  Sons had friends who are homosexuals, porno business, some selling things that were not legal.  Girls pal with lesbians, pregnant and moms not married, also some prostitutes.  instead of condemning them for it, I look to it as form of life that we all hear about.  Isn't that what we are supposed to do is help one another if they  ask?  These kids that they pal around with are considered not acceptable by most.  They come to the house and I do not want to know what they do, treat them all the same.  Kind of bothers me that the parents aren't more involved in their lives and try to understand their problems.
> 
> My  question is why do people look down on my family when they are only trying to befriend these kinds of people with their lifestyles.  They never ask them about it but only give them his  feeling about his own lifestyle.  I brought them up to know that what they do in life they have to answer to a power much greater than the local authorities.  None have been in jail, (so far) gotten any kind of tickets, but my family get criticized for acceptance of these individuals.
> 
> In this world, you have to be very strong and trust your gut feelings about many things.  It truly hurts when someone makes comments about your kids and don't know the reasons why they do the things they do.  I don't like the lifestyle but why condemn them for something they may regret later on in life.  Can we not live and let live?



There are a lot of different reasons:
People fear what they do not know or understand
Some people can only feel good about themselves by putting others down
Some are just plain insecure
Some turned their bible upside down so instead of reading "Love the sinner hate the sin" they read "hate the sinner envy the sin"
Some are full of hate and anger and love to share
Some have gone senile, and people actually still listen to them anyway
etc etc etc


----------



## Maverick2272

I had a bad day, got told a bunch of nasty mean things that hurt my feelings. That's my vent.


----------



## pdswife

We luv ya Mav.  Mean people SUck!!!!


----------



## LPBeier

Maverick, you tell me who they were and I will have Uncle Bob and his many braves come after them!


----------



## Maverick2272

It was DW.... ah well.


----------



## pdswife

That just makes it hurt worse!


----------



## LPBeier

Mav, sorry to hear that, but I am sure today is a new day (at least I pray for you and your DW that it is).


----------



## redkitty

Mav, if you lived close by I would bake you a PIE and everything would be ok.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Nasty People.*



Maverick2272 said:


> I had a bad day, got told a bunch of nasty mean things that hurt my feelings. That's my vent.





Maverick2272 said:


> I had a bad day, got told a bunch of nasty mean things that hurt my feelings. That's my vent.



See?  That happens ALL the time!  You just tried to encourage me with your last post and now you have to suffer for it. I find that the more good person tries to do the harder problems arise.  You seem like such a good person and no one has cause to say something to you that is anyway nasty.  

People who said nasty things are reading their bible upside down as you said before.  Hate the sinner envy t he sin?  Hope I got this right.  It is the truth.  Seems like the more inconsiderate you are the worse things get.  But as I told you my family loves people not for what they are but who they are.  child of God.  You are God's child and He will handle these nasty people for you.  Trust Him. Have faith He sees all.  

Thanks for your comments sure worth bunch to me.  have to lift one another up.


----------



## Adillo303

So who's computer is it anyway?

I walked up to my computer and jiggled the mouse to bring up the screen and there was a message on it that said that software updates were ready from Microsoft and that I should download and install them. !0 munites and a reboot later, that was done. I needed to write a check, so I opened Quicken, it said that an update from quicken was available and that I needed to install it. OK - another 10 minutes. Wrote my check, went to print and it said that my toner is low - "I DO NOT CARE!!!!! PRINT MY CHECK". Check is printed. Yup! you guessed it the Anti virus popped up and said that I need to renew my subscription - another 15 minutes. Now that my subscription is renewed it wants to update. Ten more minutes. Now it wants to reboot, what? Five minutes. 

All I wanted to do is write a check. 

Who's computer is it anyway, seems like it is doing more for other folks than me.

Thank Y'All


----------



## Maverick2272

Thanks everyone, I know she didn't really mean it and has been under a lot of pressure lately, but when she said "I am just waiting for you to die so I can get it over with and move on", well that really hurt.
We played it smart today and took a partial day off, did some plant shopping for her clients and went out to eat at our favorite buffet. Tomorrow we are going to the Museum of Science and Industry (we have a membership) with the kids, so every one pray for us that Abby (the 3 year old) actually behaves for once!! Her and her brother have been at each others throats non stop for weeks now and we are at our wits end on what to do with them.
With me being unable to help her as much as she needs with the business, and barely able to take care of the house, things are getting behind and piling up. What we really need is a babysitter so we can go on a date, last one was last November.
Then there is the broken drier, and now the washing machine is acting up and the basement sink is leaking so we can't use it anyway. I was supposed to get help from the deacon with some of the fixing but haven't heard from him at all. And today I couldn't take the heat in the house anymore so I hauled up the AC and put it in the window, not a good idea now my chest is killing me, I strained it I am sure. But I don't see any other choice, things have to get done. Sunday I am going down to the basement to start fixing the washer and drier and sink, no more washing clothes in the bathtub!

RedKitty, how dare you temp me with pie from across the ocean!! LOL, wish you were closer I would take you up on it especially if it is banana cream pie!

Adillo303, I love my PC's but in your case if you had the money I would say get yourself a MAC and live happily ever after!

In the Kitchen, it is frustrating I know, but the more you get attacked the more you have to stand firm. Stay a nice person, do the right thing, and follow the good book, it pays in the end, where it counts the most!


----------



## Adillo303

Mav - Sometines being the new guy on the block means that you are not up with the in" crowd. I had to do some reaserch on what you were saying and why. good stretch, I love to research. Anyway, I now nuderstand what you are going through and I am plesed to see you working it through like you are.

As for computers, well, I'm a computer consultant and I have 9 of my own. That means that when they all decide to download an update and it goes badly I have it tiimes 9 and then the customers start calling. See my prayer request and add that a client / good friend of mine died last Monday, was buried yesterday, and I did not find out till today. Just a bad day. If I was closer, I would fix the sink, washer and dryer for you, I love that kind of thing. I just did water devices last weekend. Bathroom sink, both hot and cold seals, toilet - fill valve (Bet the real name would not get past the word filter) and the outside water fawcet,

Keep your chin up, work together as you are and you will get through it. your heart is in the right place.

BW - I have nothing against MAC's, when I started I had to choose which way to go and I chose 95% of the desktops over 5% of the desktops. I think MAC is a good machine.

AC


----------



## Maverick2272

I am the same way, I have 4 laptops here, all PC's. Don't own a MAC either, but they are good machines. I like to promote them in hopes their sales stay up enough to give MS a reason to do better, but not so high they get the attention of malware writers!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Awww Mav, I wish I could come and help you, too, with your home and appliance repairs. It really seems like "When it rains, it pours." 

As far as the bad exchange with your DW, I'm really sorry. Of course, no one can know how things are as well as you and she, but hang in there my friend. It was a very hurtful thing for her to say to you and I know it really stung. The only thing I can say is that when times are stressful, it doesn't always bring out the best in us. Ya'll have been dealing with major health issues, serious house repairs, strained finances and a houseful of young children. It's got to be so hard for the both of you and maybe your wife hasn't been able to get a handle on it very well. That's not an excuse, just a thought on why she might have said something that hurtful. Is that normally in her character? If not, maybe this will have to be one of those times that you have to forgive and try to forget.

In any event, you are a vital member of the DC community and when things get tough, turn to your friends here to help lift you up. We're here for you.

Terry


----------



## texasgirl

Wow, Mav, I'm sorry. Verbal abuse is rough. Been there, done that. It does not hurt a man any less than a woman either!! Shame on her for saying something so horrible. Stress or no, you just don't say things like that. Seriously, I think that goes a little deeper. You should really think about seeing a couselor. They really help!!


----------



## LPBeier

Mav, I can't say enough how sorry I am.  I really know what you are going through on all levels.  

My pain is full blast all over my body, my leg is the worst it has been and my energy levels are at an all time low.  Plus, I honestly do not know what a full night's sleep is like anymore.

Just over a week ago, as we were getting ready to lose our border, he told us he knew someone from his school looking for a place right away.  I was actually looking forward to the summer off to recuperate, specially since I may be looking at knee surgery.  But DH was livid, saying that we needed the money because of the catering jobs I have been turning down.  

He two, like your DW, is having to put up with more, and help out around the house more, while his job is taking more of his time as well.  He never said anything like your DW (and know that it was the frustration talking), but he did destroy a very solid wooden gate that keeps the dogs out of the kitchen for me with two kicks because I hadn't cleaned the kitchen or done any other work the day the new border came for an interview (and mentioned that I really didn't think I could handle someone new at the moment).

Our health conditions our different, and I know it is harder on you because you are the "man of the house", but please know that I do totally understand and relate.  

Our DD is moving back in today and in exchange for having a place to stay while she and her BF get well and back on their feet financially, they plan to help me with the day to day upkeep of the house and DD has agreed to look after a couple of the catering jobs (for which I will pay her from the proceeds).

Is there someone, either a family member or good friend or a young person you trust that needs a place to stay for awhile, that you can take in to help with the kids and the chores?  You will find if you can lessen your load you will not be as overwhelmed and can actually do some of the smaller things and work your way up.

I hope this helps.  As I said, I really feel for you through my own current situation.


----------



## buckytom

wimmen can cut you right down, huh mav.

they sometimes say hurtful things; things that have crossed their mind and that they are actually terrified of, but they blurt them out like it's what's truely in their hearts. as if getting those dark thoughts out into the open makes anything better.

i'm sure she regrets saying it as much as it hurt you.




lp, sorry tp hear about your pains. i hope they ease quickly.

for some reason, i keep thinking of an old one liner a co-worker used to say, "a bomb went off in the bording house. roomers were flying everywhere".


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks, BuckyT, for the well wishes and the good laugh!


----------



## babetoo

people that we love say things they should not. whatever the reason. 

i forgave my son for an awful remark after my husband was murdered and i was there when it happened. 

i have pstd from it. he told my daughter that i was just trying to get pills. hurt big time.

my point is you will forgive and the hurt feelings will pass. but trust me u won't forget.

babe


----------



## jpmcgrew

All I know is that in any argument etc married or not you must keep to the subject at hand. When someone starts calling you names or wishing your demise that's when you walk away. Because at that point all the other person wants is to win the fight by hurting you and because in some ways they know they are wrong and can not take a bit of criticism themselves but still want to win no matter what rather than solve the problem and compromise . Arguments are fine and it's fine when they get they get really heated but when you are fighting with a name caller or someone that attacks your physical attributes you are getting into dirty fighting. Meaning the person who is saying these things is weak. My brother doe's that when he is losing the argument because he knows he doen't have a leg to stand on he resorts to really mean name calling. I for one will not put up with that kind of Bull S*** and I will walk away.
Bottom line when in an argument name calling or personal cut downs are not in the rules. Stay within  the subject or shut the hell up.


----------



## Maverick2272

Thank you everyone for your support, and for the laugh BT. I don't know anymore if she means this stuff or not, it has happened so many times. I always forgive, but no I can't forget and it is all piling up.
We have no one to lean on, no family to help or friends to come over, not even people from church can be bothered to reach out. Know what I did Memorial Weekend? Spent it at a hospital keeping a vet company because no one else would. Spent five hours in his room with DW and the kids, him and his wife. Ordered pizza, hung out, talked about fishing and watched Space Balls. I was half asleep most of the time because I was only a couple of days out of surgery and the pain meds put me to sleep, but it was time well spent. I just sometimes wonder where everyone else in our church was when only us and the Pastor ever visited him. 
Someone goes into the hospital, I go see them. Someone needs help moving, I go help them. I even help out financially when I can, or give free labor, whatever it is that I can offer I offer. But when the shoe is on the other foot, the Pastor is all I see, so it is hard not to get frustrated and discouraged.
We did go to counseling for a couple of months last year, but with no one to watch the kids and no babysitter we had to stop. We are hoping to start up again in the next month or so, lord knows we need it.
I have to say I really feel for you, Laurie. My energy levels are very low as well, I last 4 hours at the museum before having to retreat to the Members Lounge to rest before calling it quits and coming home. For awhile they wanted to put me in a wheelchair but I refused, that was going to far I figured.
But, at least right now, I don't have anywhere near the pain you have. I wish I could say a prayer and make it go away for you, but at least I can say the prayer...


----------



## babetoo

hey mav.

maybe my vent will make u smile. my cat, thomas, is being a super pest today.

first thing he did was open drawer in bathroom. then somehow got behind the drawer. he was stuck, so i went in and pulled drawer out so he could get out. he ambled out like " no big deal"

then i hear him trying to open sliding closet door to get in my craft closet. found him there yesterday sleeping on some yarn. 

next he went around and dumped half the wastebaskets over. 

he has used up at least three of his lives today. 

babe


----------



## jpmcgrew

babetoo said:


> hey mav.
> 
> maybe my vent will make u smile. my cat, thomas, is being a super pest today.
> 
> first thing he did was open drawer in bathroom. then somehow got behind the drawer. he was stuck, so i went in and pulled drawer out so he could get out. he ambled out like " no big deal"
> 
> then i hear him trying to open sliding closet door to get in my craft closet. found him there yesterday sleeping on some yarn.
> 
> next he went around and dumped half the wastebaskets over.
> 
> he has used up at least three of his lives today.
> 
> babe


 
 Maybe he's still trying to get out of the house. Since you closed the only vent he had. Pun intended.


----------



## Maverick2272

I am trying to smile, spent the day washing clothes in the kitchen sink and now they are hanging all over the house because it has been raining off and on today. As soon as I am caught up I am going into the basement to rip everything out and start all over from scratch, I think this is the best bet right now.


----------



## LadyCook61

hubby says to me :  " you're so fat , that is why you're too hot. "  He was arguing about the air conditioner, he is always cold.  he is almost 72 , poor circulation .


----------



## LadyCook61

Pook said:


> Oh, LadyCook, that wasn't nice at all! I'm sorry you had to hear that. We can't help what we look like, and all bodies are different.
> Vent -- that was mean! I consider all of you my friends here and I hate it when my friends are called fat or stupid or whatever. Grrr!
> I don't know what you look like, LadyCook, but if I were to meet you I would say you are beautiful, because we all are in our own many ways.
> Purrs and hugs to you, friend.


 
thanks , Pook.  I appreciate the kind comments.  I'm a catlover too. 
purrs and hugs back..
LC


----------



## babetoo

LadyCook61 said:


> hubby says to me : " you're so fat , that is why you're too hot. " He was arguing about the air conditioner, he is always cold. he is almost 72 , poor circulation .


 

i hope you smacked him upside his head. tell he had better be nicer to you as u are probably going to be the last thing he sees on earth.

my goodness this make me crazy, how dare he.

babe


----------



## Maverick2272

Tempers must be going around like the flu.... grrrrrrr.


----------



## jpmcgrew

LadyCook61 said:


> hubby says to me : " you're so fat , that is why you're too hot. " He was arguing about the air conditioner, he is always cold. he is almost 72 , poor circulation .


 
 I'm not obese but I am a strong healthy girl HB once said something like that. But that is not why I like cooler weather I have noticed people much, much bigger than me cry about being cold and the truth is I'm not that big  OK  a little but yet as strong as an ox. My circulation is great and I love to sleep in a cold room 
Next time he mentions your weight tell him.  " Shut up and fetch me another piece of pie or I will squash you like bug" Weight has nothing to do with what makes you hot or cold. You are either warm or cold natured. I for one like colder temperatures. Older people tend to feel colder. Dh better not say a thing because he has a gut so he better not call the kettle black. Besides he knows I could take him out if that's what I wanted to . He is fifteen years older than me.  I'm 50 and he is 65. We get along great but he knows he better not knock me because I can knock him harder so we just don't do it


----------



## expatgirl

Ladycook, how great is the eyesight of a 72 year anyway? Who cares what he thinks?  I bet he can't take the beautiful photos that you do.......he sure knows how to push your buttons.....just ignore him.......you're  purrrrrrrfect as you are.........


----------



## jpmcgrew

babetoo said:


> i hope you smacked him upside his head. tell he had better be nicer to you as u are probably going to be the last thing he sees on earth.
> 
> my goodness this make me crazy, how dare he.
> 
> babe


 Yep, at his age he should be pretty darn grateful you are taking care of him. I guess he needs a good spanking and some time out as well.


----------



## Mama

jpmcgrew said:


> I'm not obese but I am a strong healthy girl HB once said something like that. But that is not why I like cooler weather I have noticed people much, much bigger than me cry about being cold and the truth is I'm not that big OK a little but yet as strong as an ox. My circulation is great and I love to sleep in a cold room
> Next time he mentions your weight tell him.  " Shut up and fetch me another piece of pie or I will squash you like bug" Weight has nothing to do with what makes you hot or cold. You are either warm or cold natured. I for one like colder temperatures. Older people tend to feel colder. Dh better not say a thing because he has a gut so he better not call the kettle black. Besides he knows I could take him out if that's what I wanted to . He is fifteen years older than me. I'm 50 and he is 65. We get along great but he knows he better not knock me because I can knock him harder so we just don't do it


 
Talk about a small world, I will turn 50 in a couple of hours and my DH is 65.  I'm always hot and he's always cold.  When he complains, I tell him "You can only wish you were as hot as I am!"


----------



## jpmcgrew

Mama said:


> Talk about a small world, I will turn 50 in a couple of hours and my DH is 65. I'm always hot and he's always cold. When he complains, I tell him "You can only wish you were as hot as I am!"


 Yep. He better learn to appreciate you. I don't think the Dallas Cheer Leaders are coming any time soon to fulfill his fantasies.  So if he wants clean underwear and a decent meal and a good women he best be a bit more grateful.


----------



## Mama

Amen to that!


----------



## jpmcgrew

Pook said:


> Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect is right!
> 
> JP, I'm a strong healthy girl too. There's NOTHING wrong with that! We are all beautiful in our own many ways!
> I'm 5'11" and weigh 160 pounds. Here's a pic of me:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> See? Ya know....pobody's nerfect.
> We are all beautiful. It doesn't show on me on the outside, but I know I'm a decent person, and that's all that matters.
> Purrs and hugs!


 Pook, You are perfect and your pup is the cutest ever. All I know is if I can walk and bend over I'm in good shape plus my walking has made a huge difference. What I don't appreciate is someone in worse shape than me making a critique. Your pup reminds me of Daisy my Boxer mix. She is so cute I have seen her grown up pictures I know she loves more than anything.


----------



## jpmcgrew

Mama said:


> Talk about a small world, I will turn 50 in a couple of hours and my DH is 65. I'm always hot and he's always cold. When he complains, I tell him "You can only wish you were as hot as I am!"


 By the way I hope you have a really great Birthday.


----------



## Mama

Thank you Jpmcgrew and Pook!


----------



## texasgirl

For some reason, I woke up at 3 am to the realization, that I am tired of living my life.
I thought about the last 23 years and saw this. Verbal, emotional and physical abuse, adultry, fear when he came home, staying home everyday. Didn't go to movies, out to eat, nothing. Shopping alone for groceries, xmas and birthdays. Not getting anything for birthdays or xmas unless I got it myself. If I go anywhere with my sisters, even with my mom when she was alive, if I don't come home when he thought I should be done, I get yelled at. Even now, if I'm late getting home, I get yelled at. Now, I'm getting the poor me BS about EVERYTHING. You get 3 days off, I don't, at least you can eat normal, my head hurts, my neck hurts, my knee hurts, OMG, ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I get 3 days off, yes, but, my 40 is done in 4 days, eat normal, no, I don't eat normal, I have to eat the same junk he does in fear of listening to him complain and stare at me while I eat, that is why I have gained so much weight! I stopped smoking for HIM, not me, so that he would stop griping at me everyday telling me I stink. I live with things going on with my health and NEVER say anything because if I do, HIS is so much worse and I should be grateful. I'm sorry for the vent, but, you know what, I'm tired of living this way and I'm too chicken to leave. Chicken to be on my own and chicken to feel the guilt in leaving him!!!


----------



## LadyCook61

babetoo said:


> i hope you smacked him upside his head. tell he had better be nicer to you as u are probably going to be the last thing he sees on earth.
> 
> my goodness this make me crazy, how dare he.
> 
> babe


No I didn't smack him , just gave him a angry look.


----------



## LadyCook61

expatgirl said:


> Ladycook, how great is the eyesight of a 72 year anyway? Who cares what he thinks? I bet he can't take the beautiful photos that you do.......he sure knows how to push your buttons.....just ignore him.......you're purrrrrrrfect as you are.........


 
Kind of hard to ignore him when he is ranting and raving , spittle coming out of his mouth. yuck!  He does wear glasses.  If and when I lose weight , it will be my decision to do it for me... not for him.  Besides I am not morbidly obese, but could stand to lose a bit .


----------



## LadyCook61

jpmcgrew said:


> I'm not obese but I am a strong healthy girl HB once said something like that. But that is not why I like cooler weather I have noticed people much, much bigger than me cry about being cold and the truth is I'm not that big OK a little but yet as strong as an ox. My circulation is great and I love to sleep in a cold room
> Next time he mentions your weight tell him.  " Shut up and fetch me another piece of pie or I will squash you like bug" Weight has nothing to do with what makes you hot or cold. You are either warm or cold natured. I for one like colder temperatures. Older people tend to feel colder. Dh better not say a thing because he has a gut so he better not call the kettle black. Besides he knows I could take him out if that's what I wanted to . He is fifteen years older than me. I'm 50 and he is 65. We get along great but he knows he better not knock me because I can knock him harder so we just don't do it


 
I like cooler rooms too, I and do get cold in the winter.  I'm 10 yrs younger than he is and has a gut too.


----------



## LadyCook61

texasgirl said:


> For some reason, I woke up at 3 am to the realization, that I am tired of living my life.
> I thought about the last 23 years and saw this. Verbal, emotional and physical abuse, adultry, fear when he came home, staying home everyday. Didn't go to movies, out to eat, nothing. Shopping alone for groceries, xmas and birthdays. Not getting anything for birthdays or xmas unless I got it myself. If I go anywhere with my sisters, even with my mom when she was alive, if I don't come home when he thought I should be done, I get yelled at. Even now, if I'm late getting home, I get yelled at. Now, I'm getting the poor me BS about EVERYTHING. You get 3 days off, I don't, at least you can eat normal, my head hurts, my neck hurts, my knee hurts, OMG, ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> I get 3 days off, yes, but, my 40 is done in 4 days, eat normal, no, I don't eat normal, I have to eat the same junk he does in fear of listening to him complain and stare at me while I eat, that is why I have gained so much weight! I stopped smoking for HIM, not me, so that he would stop griping at me everyday telling me I stink. I live with things going on with my health and NEVER say anything because if I do, HIS is so much worse and I should be grateful. I'm sorry for the vent, but, you know what, I'm tired of living this way and I'm too chicken to leave. Chicken to be on my own and chicken to feel the guilt in leaving him!!!


 
I  hear you.  I know what you are going thru. I left ex , and took my 2 young sons and went to a shelter for battered wives.  Long story but I made it with the help of God.


----------



## LadyCook61

Pook said:


> LOL!! Multiply that by five and now you see why people think I'm nuts.
> I am!
> Venting...why do some smokers insist on putting their cigarettes out on the floor NEXT to the ashtray on the smokers' patio (at work)?
> Gaaaahhhhh...
> Purrs!


not nuts at all... in the '90's I had 9 indoor cats and 3 dogs!


----------



## suziquzie

jpm you always crack me up when I catch up from weekends!!! 
I have this mental pic of a smackdown in your pretty green kitchen.... 
 

Stacy I'm so sorry, you have enough crap going on you don't need to be alone when you're home with someone on top of it. 
I will rent mine out for free if anyone likes....  
hugs to you  and LC be strong.


----------



## Dina

texasgirl said:


> For some reason, I woke up at 3 am to the realization, that I am tired of living my life.
> I thought about the last 23 years and saw this. Verbal, emotional and physical abuse, adultry, fear when he came home, staying home everyday. Didn't go to movies, out to eat, nothing. Shopping alone for groceries, xmas and birthdays. Not getting anything for birthdays or xmas unless I got it myself. If I go anywhere with my sisters, even with my mom when she was alive, if I don't come home when he thought I should be done, I get yelled at. Even now, if I'm late getting home, I get yelled at. Now, I'm getting the poor me BS about EVERYTHING. You get 3 days off, I don't, at least you can eat normal, my head hurts, my neck hurts, my knee hurts, OMG, ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> I get 3 days off, yes, but, my 40 is done in 4 days, eat normal, no, I don't eat normal, I have to eat the same junk he does in fear of listening to him complain and stare at me while I eat, that is why I have gained so much weight! I stopped smoking for HIM, not me, so that he would stop griping at me everyday telling me I stink. I live with things going on with my health and NEVER say anything because if I do, HIS is so much worse and I should be grateful. I'm sorry for the vent, but, you know what, I'm tired of living this way and I'm too chicken to leave. Chicken to be on my own and chicken to feel the guilt in leaving him!!!


 
Stacy,
I would not stay another minute. I believe everyone deserves a better life and that we make our own destiny by the choices we make. I will be praying for you for things to be better in YOUR life.  DES'REE - YOU GOTTA BE LYRICS


----------



## pdswife

Hugs Stacy....

Leaving is hard... but you can do it.!!!!
You don't deserve the kind of treatment that man gives you!!!!


----------



## jpmcgrew

Stacy, you really need to work on this and get your power back it's your life and you deserve to be happy. That is ENTIRELY TOO MUCH STRESS on a person. Sounds like hubby is a bully. It's your life and you just don't hafto put up with that c**p. Youv'e been brought down so long you forgot how to stand up for your self. I would never ever feel guilty for leaving someone who treats me badly and neither should you. You need to relearn your own value and decide you are worth saving yourself.


----------



## LadyCook61

the man is an idiot. he is sitting in the chair, cell phone in hand, just holding, not talking on it, watched my kitten coughing, after chewing on a slipper, and gets my attention to tell me the kitten is coughing and chewed on my slipper.. hello??? can he get to the kitten?? grrrrrrrrr. I went to the kitten, pried open his mouth, didn't see anything lodged in there. After I checked the kitten, I said to him, leave me alone. he says to me : "you want the kitten to die? What if I didn't tell you he was coughing? " He would not get off his stupid pruney behind and check on the kitten. It really ticks me off.


----------



## simplicity

texasgirl said:


> For some reason, I woke up at 3 am to the realization, that I am tired of living my life.
> ]
> 
> What you are describing is a classic case of abuse. You need help. I am somewhat familiar with women's shelters and, living in the same state as you, may be able to answer some questions or put you in touch with someone who can.
> 
> Do not be afraid. People that work with shelters are very discreet.
> 
> PM me if you have questions. In the meantime I'll keep you in my prayers.


----------



## LPBeier

TG, I was previously married to the poster-child of abusive husbands.  Before we were married I would say to my abused friends "if my husband ever did that to me I would be gone in less than 60 seconds."  Well, it did happen to me and it took me 5 years to leave and another 3 to realize he wouldn't change and I finalized the divorce.  

I am going to PM you some information that helped me later today.  I know that things are different in Canada and the US, but I think some of my hindsight should help you realize that you CAN make a clean break.  

In the meantime, know that it is not about anything you have or have not done.  

LC, I feel for you as well.  You don't need to be treated like that after all these years (I don't know if this has been a pattern in your entire marriage).

My prayers are with both of you.


----------



## texasgirl

Ok, it was 5 am when I said this and I did not make it clear. The abuse has long past. This is what I have put up with for 23 years total. The abuse stopped about 5 years ago when I started fighting back,lol. 
What I'm tired of is the fact that I'm fixing to be 40 and I have NO LIFE!!!! I go to work, go home, cook dinner, blend his food, clean, wash a load of clothes, go to bed. That is my daily routine and I'm SICK OF IT ALL!!! All I hear is how bad HE is. When I even THINK about telling him about my day or how I feel, he breaks in with what is so much worse with him. I'm sorry that I didn't make myself clear and that I scared anyone with my words. I only meant that I am tired of living THIS kind of life, none. Don't worry, not gonna do anything stupid and I have dealt with all the crap this long, it just doesn't matter anymore, it won't change. Just really needed to vent this morning for some reason. Guess it's been sitting there dormant long enough. LOL thank you all!! and the 2 that pm'ed me, I'm ok, I promise.


----------



## LPBeier

Stacy, I understand exactly what you are going through and am still going to PM you.

But I need to vent at the moment.

I hurt.  I am in pain.  I can't get any sleep or rest - lying on the bed, even an air matress is like torture.  I hate to complain and feel like a wimp because I have dealt with chronic back pain but this is worse.  This all over and gets worse when I move.  I have trouble showering, dressing, working in the kitchen, practically doing anything.

DH really tries to understand, but he admittedly has never had to deal with much pain at all in his life.  He keeps asking me every few minutes how I am feeling as if it is going to change.  I sometimes snap at him and it is the pain, not me, but it doesn't make it any better.  I am tired of taking pills - the ones the doctors prescribe that don't do anything and all the natural ones that DH reads about and buys because he is positive they will cure me....immediately.

I am so tired of being sent from one doctor to another and being told to "suck it up" until I am old enough for a joint replacement (I will be 50 this year but the general consensus in the medical field seems to be that a replaced joint lasts 15 years and I should live to 80 so they will have to do it twice).  

The arthritis is spreading.  They only want to acknowledge the knee for the time being even though I keep telling them it is all over - my knees, shoulders and hips are the worst.  But now it is travelling into my hands, specially my left.  I am finding even this typing difficult but I have to vent somehow.  I am even having problems making the roses for a cake due the beginning of August and I have a lot of them to make.  DD has helped me in the past but she has enough going on with her fiance still in the hospital and besides I wouldn't make her work on this one anyway because she and the groom have "history".

Like you, Stacy, I have just had enough and need a place where I can let it all out.  I am on the edge, yet I have so many others to be strong for.  How come I can do it for them, and not myself?


----------



## Alix

Stacy, WHEW! You scared me a bit there sweetie. I understand feeling like you are. Its nasty. Hugs my friend. If I can be an ear, or remind you how treasured you are here, just drop me a line. Even though you feel your life is drudgery, know that you bring smiles and sunshine to your friends here.

Laurie, I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. That sounds just awful. I'm sure you have tried everything to help but I so want to help you that I feel I need to suggest some things for you. Have you tried acupuncture? It worked extremely well for my Dad. He was a freak about needles too but he couldn't even feel them. Living where you do I feel confident you can find a good acupuncturist. I know that something like yoga might not sound feasible at the moment, but if you can find a Hatha or Iyengar instructor near you give it a go. My back was horrible about 7 years ago and they told me nothing could be done except to throw pills at it. (And those just made the pain bearable, didn't get rid of it all) Maybe massage? At least it would give you some temporary relief and I know it is covered under a lot of plans.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Stacy, I'm so sorry things are rough for you right now. I know what you are saying about this not being a life that feeds your soul so you are feeling dead. It happens little by little over the years and then one day you realize it. Because it's been that way for so long, it's overwhelming. There looks to be no way to change it. No chance for things to ever be different. But things can change because you can change. It's the only thing you can control - what _you_ do. But it's very hard and those around you will be scared by changes and will try to force things back to the way they were. That's where your strength will come in. You _can_ learn to take care of yourself as well as those around you, even though they will load on the guilt to try and keep things the same. It starts with baby steps - meet a girlfriend for coffee after work instead of going home right after work. Hubby can blend food for himself sometimes or go hungry. I promise it won't kill him. Of course, he'll complain and b***h but he already does that anyway so learn to let it wash over you without affecting you. If you don't have any friends in town because your hubby has isolated you, then start making friends. Don't be afraid because hubby has squashed that in the past. You are a lovely, witty, charming person who deserves a life that has some joy in it, girlfriend. We're behind you. Bounce some ideas off of us - we're great cheerleaders!
Terry


----------



## LPBeier

Alix said:


> Have you tried acupuncture? It worked extremely well for my Dad. He was a freak about needles too but he couldn't even feel them. Living where you do I feel confident you can find a good acupuncturist. I know that something like yoga might not sound feasible at the moment, but if you can find a Hatha or Iyengar instructor near you give it a go. My back was horrible about 7 years ago and they told me nothing could be done except to throw pills at it. (And those just made the pain bearable, didn't get rid of it all) Maybe massage? At least it would give you some temporary relief and I know it is covered under a lot of plans.


 
Thanks so much, Alix.  I have tried acupuncture and have a really good physiotherapist who does needles and massage.  However, I have been told by my first four doctors not to do anything like that until I have seen #5 who will hopefully do surgery on my knee.  However, the appointment has been postponed twice.  Also, that will only help the knee.  I can't do yoga or anything like that right now, but I have in the past and yes, it is great.  If I don't get this appointment in this week, I am going to go to my physio anyway.  I know he will be able to help.  The only down side though is it is a 1 hour drive away and car rides are really hard on me.  Also, he is popular and books way in advance.  But I appreciate the suggestions and will follow up on them.


----------



## Alix

Hang in there Laurie! Just get some relief however you have to. Geez that SUCKS!!


----------



## miniman

Hi Texasgirl - I'm with Fishers Mom, find something out of the house that is fun and just for you, let DH and boys look after themselves once a week or so and enjoy yourself. Don't forget you have this great big community standing with you and loving you for yourself and your loveliness.


----------



## miniman

Hi Laurie

Praying for you, if I was near I would love to help you and Maverick - I feel so far away but will stand with you in prayer & friendship.


----------



## expatgirl

LPBeier said:


> Stacy, I understand exactly what you are going through and am still going to PM you.
> 
> But I need to vent at the moment.
> 
> I hurt.  I am in pain.  I can't get any sleep or rest - lying on the bed, even an air matress is like torture.  I hate to complain and feel like a wimp because I have dealt with chronic back pain but this is worse.  This all over and gets worse when I move.  I have trouble showering, dressing, working in the kitchen, practically doing anything.
> 
> DH really tries to understand, but he admittedly has never had to deal with much pain at all in his life.  He keeps asking me every few minutes how I am feeling as if it is going to change.  I sometimes snap at him and it is the pain, not me, but it doesn't make it any better.  I am tired of taking pills - the ones the doctors prescribe that don't do anything and all the natural ones that DH reads about and buys because he is positive they will cure me....immediately.
> 
> I am so tired of being sent from one doctor to another and being told to "suck it up" until I am old enough for a joint replacement (I will be 50 this year but the general consensus in the medical field seems to be that a replaced joint lasts 15 years and I should live to 80 so they will have to do it twice).
> 
> The arthritis is spreading.  They only want to acknowledge the knee for the time being even though I keep telling them it is all over - my knees, shoulders and hips are the worst.  But now it is travelling into my hands, specially my left.  I am finding even this typing difficult but I have to vent somehow.  I am even having problems making the roses for a cake due the beginning of August and I have a lot of them to make.  DD has helped me in the past but she has enough going on with her fiance still in the hospital and besides I wouldn't make her work on this one anyway because she and the groom have "history".
> 
> Like you, Stacy, I have just had enough and need a place where I can let it all out.  I am on the edge, yet I have so many others to be strong for.  How come I can do it for them, and not myself?



LB,
I'm no doctor but have the doctors eliminated fibromyalgia from your list of symptoms?  There's really not a confirmative diagnostic test for it as far as I know (eg.  like in diabetes) but more of an elimination of other symptoms as well......the only reason I bring it up is that you hurt "all over"...usually arthritis is confined to the joints though the pain can be unbearable and it feels like it's all over......fibromyalgia tends to be all over in severe cases and equally debilitating ....oh, do I ever feel feel for you after what my poor mother in law suffered with osteoarthritis.


----------



## LPBeier

Yes, Expat, I do suffer from Fibromyalgia as well as the osteoarthritis, tendonitis in my shoulders and chronic back pain from three fractures in the lumbar region 17 years ago.  They are all feeding off of each other right now so what works for one condition (like exercise) can flare up one of the others.  That's what makes it so difficult.


----------



## expatgirl

ok, while on the this subject........my son just became a cop.........he watched his grandmother become progressively worse and finally reduced to a wheelchair.  How many times did she have to be dropped off in front of a business in the sun because all the handicapped spots were taken......most spots quite legitimately have tags, hanging placards.........a few not......well, in training they are cautioned against being overzealous in enforcing the laws........use your best judgement............he lost his cool when a young 20 year old sauntered out of her sportscar parked in the last handicapped spot (temps here are now in the 90's +) and sashayed her way up to the store.........my son who was in plainsclothes was very  polite and said "Ma'am, you have parked illegally in a handicapped space without the proper ID and you need to please move your car".........she gave him this withering, disdainful glare, shrugged her nicely toned shoulders and told him to mind his own business.......once again he politely repeated his request and commented that she didn't looked handicapped and to please move her car.......once again came the condescending flip of the shoulders and she continued on to the entrance.......then he flipped out his badge and told her that she had better move it or she was getting a citation......she took one look at it, moved her well-toned, tanned legs in short shorts and moved it.......such arrogance.....sorry, he just watched his grandmother struggle for so many years......said if it hadn't been the last handicapped place available probably would not have said a word.......maybe


----------



## expatgirl

Oh, LB,

I wondered------you must really struggle so.....can you or do you have any time for some water therapy so that you don't have stress on your joints?


----------



## LPBeier

I can well appreciate your son's efforts.  I have a placard for when I use my cane - which lately is all the time.  When I feel fit I don't like taking the spaces, but when I need it we do.  One day at Costco we noticed that in the really wide spaces that are to be used for wheelchair vans and such (they have three of those and 10 regular handicapped spots) there was a legitimate car with placard in the spot and a little sports car had parked right beside it in the space.  I saw an elderly gentleman getting into his car, backing it out then having to get out and help his wheelchairbound wife into the car while the traffic was backing up in the lot and people were swearing at him.  I went to the person on the door and they said that they are not allowed to do anything about it.  People with placards can phone it in to the bylaw officers but the store is unable to get involved.  This is not Costco policy but a city ordinance.  I find it absolutely sickening.


----------



## Maverick2272

texasgirl said:


> For some reason, I woke up at 3 am to the realization, that I am tired of living my life.
> I thought about the last 23 years and saw this. Verbal, emotional and physical abuse, adultry, fear when he came home, staying home everyday. Didn't go to movies, out to eat, nothing. Shopping alone for groceries, xmas and birthdays. Not getting anything for birthdays or xmas unless I got it myself. If I go anywhere with my sisters, even with my mom when she was alive, if I don't come home when he thought I should be done, I get yelled at. Even now, if I'm late getting home, I get yelled at. Now, I'm getting the poor me BS about EVERYTHING. You get 3 days off, I don't, at least you can eat normal, my head hurts, my neck hurts, my knee hurts, OMG, ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> I get 3 days off, yes, but, my 40 is done in 4 days, eat normal, no, I don't eat normal, I have to eat the same junk he does in fear of listening to him complain and stare at me while I eat, that is why I have gained so much weight! I stopped smoking for HIM, not me, so that he would stop griping at me everyday telling me I stink. I live with things going on with my health and NEVER say anything because if I do, HIS is so much worse and I should be grateful. I'm sorry for the vent, but, you know what, I'm tired of living this way and I'm too chicken to leave. Chicken to be on my own and chicken to feel the guilt in leaving him!!!



I know how you feel, the physical abuse ended about four years ago, the verbal abuse.. well it isn't as bad as it used to be anymore. Things are slowly getting better. She still has a tendency to yell about every little thing, and often drives the kids into the bedroom to hide. I think it boils down to the fact that she really doesn't know any other way to interact with people. Growing up, throwing fits and screaming and yelling were the only way to get her parents attention. On top of that her father (a Coptic Orthidox Christian who has the entire Bible memorized) taught her that if someone hurts her she should make sure to get revenge and hurt them back. In fact, if she thinks someone might do something to hurt her she should be pro-active and hurt them first. Combine this with the volatile temper, it's not a good mix. Last year she decided the grass was greener on the other side, then decided that didn't hurt me enough so she took out an add for a boyfriend and made sure I not only found it but all the correspondence between her and those that answered... details of what she planned to do that I really didn't need to know.
I had always felt if she was shown another way she would change, just didn't know it would take this long...


----------



## LPBeier

expatgirl said:


> Oh, LB,
> 
> I wondered------you must really struggle so.....can you or do you have any time for some water therapy so that you don't have stress on your joints?


 
A good friend of ours is a rehabilitation therapist specializing in water therapy.  He has worked with me on several occasions and it has been wonderful.  However, his wife's father just passed away and she herself had eye surgery last week so I have not wanted to bother him.  He also wants to see what the surgeon says as well.

Oh, good news on that.  The appointment that has been postponed twice and was now supposed to happen in July has been bumped up to this Wednesday and she assured me that he is not on call this week so no surgeries will get in the way!!!!


----------



## Katie H

Maverick2272 said:


> I know how you feel, the physical abuse ended about four years ago, the verbal abuse.. well it isn't as bad as it used to be anymore. Things are slowly getting better. She still has a tendency to yell about every little thing, and often drives the kids into the bedroom to hide. I think it boils down to the fact that she really doesn't know any other way to interact with people. Growing up, throwing fits and screaming and yelling were the only way to get her parents attention. On top of that her father (a Coptic Orthidox Christian who has the entire Bible memorized) taught her that if someone hurts her she should make sure to get revenge and hurt them back. In fact, if she thinks someone might do something to hurt her she should be pro-active and hurt them first. Combine this with the volatile temper, it's not a good mix. Last year she decided the grass was greener on the other side, then decided that didn't hurt me enough so she took out an add for a boyfriend and made sure I not only found it but all the correspondence between her and those that answered... details of what she planned to do that I really didn't need to know.
> I had always felt if she was shown another way she would change, just didn't know it would take this long...




Mav...  I have no words.  Been there. Done that.  Hang strong.


----------



## expatgirl

so great to hear, LB.........


----------



## Mama

Maverick2272 said:


> I know how you feel, the physical abuse ended about four years ago, the verbal abuse.. well it isn't as bad as it used to be anymore. Things are slowly getting better. She still has a tendency to yell about every little thing, and often drives the kids into the bedroom to hide. I think it boils down to the fact that she really doesn't know any other way to interact with people. Growing up, throwing fits and screaming and yelling were the only way to get her parents attention. On top of that her father (a Coptic Orthidox Christian who has the entire Bible memorized) taught her that if someone hurts her she should make sure to get revenge and hurt them back. In fact, if she thinks someone might do something to hurt her she should be pro-active and hurt them first. Combine this with the volatile temper, it's not a good mix. Last year she decided the grass was greener on the other side, then decided that didn't hurt me enough so she took out an add for a boyfriend and made sure I not only found it but all the correspondence between her and those that answered... details of what she planned to do that I really didn't need to know.
> I had always felt if she was shown another way she would change, just didn't know it would take this long...


 

This is what I have always told my kids, 

You have two choices when it comes to a relationship:
1) You can either accept them for the way they are, OR
2) You can MOVE ON!

Don't ever think you are going to change someone!

No matter how much you want another choice there simply are no other choices!


----------



## expatgirl

Mav,

goodness, I have so many things that come to mind as to what to do but then I also know that you've been thru a debilitating recovery period and need help---but being told that they hope you die is not very therapeutic either........I guess I would quote the infamous Ann Landers' advice..........are you better with her or without her and if you act like a doormat she is going to wipe her feet on you........if two people ever needed some counseling it's you two.......please encourage her to go with you.......you  would both benefit if you want to make this work.....at least go for your peace of mind which in turn will help your healing.........in the meantime I'm glad that you have DC to vent at.........


----------



## Maverick2272

LPBeier said:


> Stacy, I understand exactly what you are going through and am still going to PM you.
> 
> But I need to vent at the moment.
> 
> I hurt.  I am in pain.  I can't get any sleep or rest - lying on the bed, even an air matress is like torture.  I hate to complain and feel like a wimp because I have dealt with chronic back pain but this is worse.  This all over and gets worse when I move.  I have trouble showering, dressing, working in the kitchen, practically doing anything.
> 
> DH really tries to understand, but he admittedly has never had to deal with much pain at all in his life.  He keeps asking me every few minutes how I am feeling as if it is going to change.  I sometimes snap at him and it is the pain, not me, but it doesn't make it any better.  I am tired of taking pills - the ones the doctors prescribe that don't do anything and all the natural ones that DH reads about and buys because he is positive they will cure me....immediately.
> 
> I am so tired of being sent from one doctor to another and being told to "suck it up" until I am old enough for a joint replacement (I will be 50 this year but the general consensus in the medical field seems to be that a replaced joint lasts 15 years and I should live to 80 so they will have to do it twice).
> 
> The arthritis is spreading.  They only want to acknowledge the knee for the time being even though I keep telling them it is all over - my knees, shoulders and hips are the worst.  But now it is travelling into my hands, specially my left.  I am finding even this typing difficult but I have to vent somehow.  I am even having problems making the roses for a cake due the beginning of August and I have a lot of them to make.  DD has helped me in the past but she has enough going on with her fiance still in the hospital and besides I wouldn't make her work on this one anyway because she and the groom have "history".
> 
> Like you, Stacy, I have just had enough and need a place where I can let it all out.  I am on the edge, yet I have so many others to be strong for.  How come I can do it for them, and not myself?



I will keep praying for you, you need a break in there somewhere and hopefully you will get one soon.


----------



## ribs and steak

Can I vent my bad day? Because i need oxygen to do my job I have to bring at least 3 tanks of medical O2. On Sunday when I went to change my tank I had to have my last tank leaking the air and slowing me down on my job


----------



## jpmcgrew

miniman said:


> Hi Texasgirl - I'm with Fishers Mom, find something out of the house that is fun and just for you, let DH and boys look after themselves once a week or so and enjoy yourself. Don't forget you have this great big community standing with you and loving you for yourself and your loveliness.


 Stacy, even though you backed tracked on your post it's obvious you really are not happy and to think that you would settle to keep on catering to your unappreciative family to keep everyone happy but not yourself is entirely unacceptable besides it has not been working for you no matter what you you do. Time for you to make some new laws in the house and let all the grown ups there start to taking care of them selves. You are not responsible for every little thing from feeding to laundry etc. All your venting posts say the same thing you have been stretched way beyond your limits for years and years. You need to put your foot down and take back your life and make yourself happy if it means getting out so be it lots of people have done that.I did it with an incredibly abusive mother and I am happier for getting out as soon as I could at age 15 even though I kept contact and visited she would still resort to her selfish behavior and rages so at about 32 years old I finally cut that tie and Iv'e been really happy ever since.Just because someone is blood doe's not mean you are obligated to put up with their behavior towards you. You should never ever put up with any kind of abuse whether physical, mental or emotional. You are still really young and can do things to make yourself happy. Do you really want to continue this way another 20 years? I don't think so. You are not responsible for everyones screw ups and health problems but you are responsible to manage your own happiness and it doesn't mean you are selfish but you have the right to be happy. It's perfectly OK to find a way to make yourself happier no matter what you have to do. The post you made is what you feel so don't back track please don't. It's what you feel. You are not a slave and you need not put up with this kind of crap.
The fact that you are not appreciated really pisses me off. Come on girl it's time to make a plan and grow a new backbone.


----------



## Maverick2272

ribs and steak said:


> Can I vent my bad day? Because i need oxygen to do my job I have to bring at least 3 tanks of medical O2. On Sunday when I went to change my tank I had to have my last tank leaking the air and slowing me down on my job



Just don't vent the oxygen here, I just lit up a cigarette!

Sorry to hear about your day, hope the next one is better!


----------



## Maverick2272

Ewwwwwwwwwwwww I hate it when dogs get gas!!!!!!!


----------



## LPBeier

Pook, maybe my dog and your dog could have a contest.  She is a real stinkbomb sometimes!


----------



## texasgirl

ribs and steak said:


> Can I vent my bad day? Because i need oxygen to do my job I have to bring at least 3 tanks of medical O2. On Sunday when I went to change my tank I had to have my last tank leaking the air and slowing me down on my job


I'm sorry you had a rough Sunday. Maybe the medical store will refill and check the tank without charging you.? I hope your week is better!!


----------



## Dina

texasgirl said:


> Ok, it was 5 am when I said this and I did not make it clear. The abuse has long past. This is what I have put up with for 23 years total. The abuse stopped about 5 years ago when I started fighting back,lol.
> What I'm tired of is the fact that I'm fixing to be 40 and I have NO LIFE!!!! I go to work, go home, cook dinner, blend his food, clean, wash a load of clothes, go to bed. That is my daily routine and I'm SICK OF IT ALL!!! All I hear is how bad HE is. When I even THINK about telling him about my day or how I feel, he breaks in with what is so much worse with him. I'm sorry that I didn't make myself clear and that I scared anyone with my words. I only meant that I am tired of living THIS kind of life, none. Don't worry, not gonna do anything stupid and I have dealt with all the crap this long, it just doesn't matter anymore, it won't change. Just really needed to vent this morning for some reason. Guess it's been sitting there dormant long enough. LOL thank you all!! and the 2 that pm'ed me, I'm ok, I promise.


Then it's time to make some changes in your life Stacy.  Find a hobby where you can interact with others, find a social group, make friends and do something fun for yourself.  Once a week will do; you'll have something to look forward to every week.  Life's too precious to pass you by without enjoying every minute of it.  Stay strong and GO OUT there and look for some of your interests to bring you back to life.  Good luck!


----------



## Dina

Why do pathology results take SO long?  I'm so fed up waiting for my son's biopsy results.  The procedure was done last Monday, June 2nd and we have to wait until the 12th to get the darn results.  Argh!!!  I'm sick waiting and wondering what my son has on that lump in his neck.  Would you please keep him in your prayers ya'll?


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Explosion*

This thread is like an explosion!  Really gets my attention and painful.  texasgirl, have you ever left him for a period of time?  If you are always around, he is only used to the treatment you have been giving him.  Being absent, may wake him up as long as he feels threatened that he will have to adjust to things that you normally take care of.  When I had trouble, I went to minister first, after that, I went to 5-6 counselors and each one told me to have my husband come to the next session.  My husband refused each and every time telling me he wasn't unhappy I was the one who needed help.  Being married for so long makes it easy to just accept doing everyday things the way you have.  However, trying to make a change in your life requires lot of effort and you are the only one who can determine if you really want to do that. One thing you can be sure of and that is life is never same always changing.  

I hope that you will make the right choice.  Just know that once you do, you will make it whichever you choose.  Everyone fears the unknown, no one is sure of everything.  

You are good person who has big heart.  Thanks for  all the kindness and understanding you have given me in the past .  Take care of yourself texas, I care about what you do.  Stay in touch.


----------



## LPBeier

The good thing about last night is that I "woke up several times".  This means I was asleep, even if only for brief periods at a time.  The bad thing is that when I was asleep I had horrid nightmares.  

I was up late last night trying to catch up on things that need doing when you are looking after 4 other people....baking muffins and cookies for the borders lunches and to take to the kids at the hospital.  Planning meals for the week that are easy and also transportable as well.  Cleaning the kitchen, doing laundry, etc.  DH works late on Mondays and he was great when he was home, and finished the cleaning when he got here after nine (plus he made supper as well), but it doesn't matter how little I do or don't do...I am exhausted and sore.

I did find out yesterday that my appointment for the surgeon (which was postponed twice, and was not supposed to happen until the middle of July) has been bumped up until tomorrow afternoon and will not be cancelled, so that is good.  But that is only for the knee.  Once that is resolved, I will have to go back through the system for all the other joints and conditions.

I am to the point where I just don't care anymore.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Not to Worry*

'Not care anymore'  Have you read that somewhere before?  That is exactly the way we are supposed to feel.  Then and only  then are we at the point where we get our best results.  Being frustrated and uptight is natural but that is not what we should be doing, everyone states stress is hard on the system.  Having your submissive feeling is better for the situation.  Be positive this will all work out good.  

so happy to hear you are going to see someone tomorrow.  That is good news and positive.  You will be having someone look at your knee, be thankful.  We can't have our whole body repaired at once although we wish it  could.  Just as things didn't happen overnight we have to take step at a time.  Wish we could have our own set of doctors to be at our beck 'n call but there are always many others who have problems and maybe even worse.  This is easy to say but not good to hear at this stage of the process.  I hope for the best with your appointment tomorrow.  I know and feel all will go well. Just  be good to yourself, no one else knows better than you how you feel.  I am thinking about you.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*LPBeier*

'Not care anymore' comment applies to your situation.  I did not indicate that on my last  post.  I wanted to clarify that I was writing about you and your feeling of not caring anymore.  Do not want someone else to think I am commenting on their situation only yours.  

Person could write a book about the emotions on this thread.  Who knows we may all be reading about ourselves in a novel one day.


----------



## Dina

LPBeier said:


> The good thing about last night is that I "woke up several times". This means I was asleep, even if only for brief periods at a time. The bad thing is that when I was asleep I had horrid nightmares.
> 
> I was up late last night trying to catch up on things that need doing when you are looking after 4 other people....baking muffins and cookies for the borders lunches and to take to the kids at the hospital. Planning meals for the week that are easy and also transportable as well. Cleaning the kitchen, doing laundry, etc. DH works late on Mondays and he was great when he was home, and finished the cleaning when he got here after nine (plus he made supper as well), but it doesn't matter how little I do or don't do...I am exhausted and sore.
> 
> I did find out yesterday that my appointment for the surgeon (which was postponed twice, and was not supposed to happen until the middle of July) has been bumped up until tomorrow afternoon and will not be cancelled, so that is good. But that is only for the knee. Once that is resolved, I will have to go back through the system for all the other joints and conditions.
> 
> I am to the point where I just don't care anymore.


Laurie,
I'm sorry you're feeling pain and can't sleep well.  I know the feeling about not sleeping throughout the night.  Prayers go out to you dear.


----------



## LadyCook61

In the Kitchen said:


> 'Not care anymore' comment applies to your situation. I did not indicate that on my last post. I wanted to clarify that I was writing about you and your feeling of not caring anymore. Do not want someone else to think I am commenting on their situation only yours.
> 
> Person could write a book about the emotions on this thread. Who knows we may all be reading about ourselves in a novel one day.


 
What an interesting idea, a novel


----------



## YT2095

ever made 218 quid and not have a penny to show for it that wasn`t yours to begin with?

it All started several months ago... < insert wavey flashback lines>

a Direct Debit that we canceled got reactivated and cash was taken out, that lead us to being overdrawn, cutting it short the charges were 78 quid total, I went to the bank to see the manager and sort it, and she did, all charges dropped etc.. (Phew).

came out the bank to see a traffic warden giving us a ticket! (70 quid to pay it off!) needless to say I had a word with him and he agreed to drop the penalty but I still had to go to the head office and sort it that end. we shook hands and off we went...

we got to head office and I explained that he`d dropped the penalty his side and that I needed to sort it this side etc...
it came back on the computer that we`de already had a ticket once and they wouldn`t cancel it!
(we had`nt had a ticket before) so I challenged that and Eventually it came back that it was on the Address and not US personally, the date was before we even lived here, so my wife goes out to the car to show evidence of this, and guess what?

Yes Another parking ticket!

I couldn`t help myself, I just bust out laughing (much to my wifes disgust), and I slapped that ticket on the counter and said "oh yeah, and while you`re at it, do this one for us as well please <Big Grin>".

so anyway, we got the original ticket canceled (making a total of 148 quid UP) and the local council are going to challenge the second ticket for us on our behalf, making a Grand total of 218 quid and not a penny to show for it!

so... what do You guys do on an otherwise Boring Tuesday?


----------



## suziquzie

wow YT, I went to the grocery store with only 1 kid. 
I suppose compared to your tuesday I was on vacation!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

I need to indulge in a little venting (with a touch of self-pity) and ask for some input from my friends here. I saw to doc yesterday and she wants me to start taking 2 meds (for now) for my cardio problems. One of them is a statin, which when I googled it, seems to have all sorts of awful side effects. The other one, a mega dose of niacin, seems to have irritating side effects like "feeling as if you are on fire" and "itching as if you were bitten by thousands of mosquitoes". I'm sure I can live with _that_ cuz I'm into "power surges" right now anyway.

I had more blood drawn today to check to see if I need more/other meds. I have to have a scan of my arteries. I have to exercise a lot. AND I have to be on a very restricted diet forever. My doc said I should just decide to never eat red meat again the rest of my life if I really want to avoid stroke and heart attack. Same for butter. (I'm pretty sure she's a vegetarian because she's very thin and healthy looking and a certified yoga instructor so she can't relate to how much I love steak since I've learned to make one perfectly!!!!)

The good part is I'm not restricted as far as salt and sugar or calories but I have to get the bulk of my daily intake from a _small_ list of cardio-protective foods and keep my total fat intake at less than 20% and it can only be certain kinds of fat, like olive oil. Really, that won't be so bad, but it will mean making 2 meals since it is way too restrictive for a young child.

At the same time I'm renovating the guest house for my mom, going to see her once a week (which is out of town), and trying to pay enough attention to my kids. It will all work out in the end but right now it all looks a little daunting.

So I was wondering if anybody here has taken/is taking statins and if they would share their experience with them. This is the first time in my life I've ever had to take a regular medication and it's got me a little freaked out.


----------



## LPBeier

FM, I am writing you a really long email and my hands are cramping so hopefully you will get it today!!!!  Hang in there friend.  I am very experienced in the world of meds and side affects.


----------



## Maverick2272

I would consider writing the novel but haven't written in almost 10 years so pretty far out of practice.
Fun times, YT, but hey at least it all got squared away in the end!
Suzi, vacation indeed! I went today with two kids (my daughters 10 and 3). When we got back home the 3 year old wanted to bring the milk in, the older daughter felt it was too heavy for her. Well, she just had to see for herself and of course it was too heavy and of course it fell on the concrete floor in the garage and of course it broke open and spilled everywhere!
FM, I pray for you, rough times with no steak allowed!! I can relate to restricted diets, been on one for 10 years (at least my Dr. thinks I have been, LOL). Most of the times the side effects effect only a small portion of those that take the medicines, but our luck we end up in that small portion. Right now one of mine, no idea which of the 15 I take, is causing, um, 'leakage' and slight bleeding. Uggg.
As for statins they are for high cholesterol, been on them for years with no side effects and they did their job. I think Lipitor and Zocor if I remember correctly, would have to check my meds list to be sure which I am on now, LOL.

On my day: After loosing the milk, came inside and was heading upstairs when the railing suddenly came loose from the wall!! As if there were not enough problems in this house, but hey at least I only fell backwards down four steps, could have been worse I could have been at the top of the stairs! Anyway, now I am really sore so I am lying around in bed, took some pain meds, watching TV and browsing in here.
Worked out though, DW decided it was too hot out today and she did not feel good so she came home not 30minutes later so at least I was not alone with the kids for long this way!

Edit: As for sleeping thru the night, I can't remember the last time that happened for me. I sleep a little at night until the nightmares wake me up, then later I might catch a couple of hours during the day. So, a few here a few there is the best I can hope for.


----------



## suziquzie

I have a hard time with the word "never" for foods...
unles you are allergic of course. 
A highly doubt a small piece of steak once a month or so or a pat of butter here and there would drop a person dead (sorry to be so blunt). 

As for the meds, wow, I don't know what to say. I can't imagine suffering side effects almost worse than the illness! I don't like to take "stuff" I don't have to, but I don't have to... you sound like you really should, to be on the safe side.


----------



## Maverick2272

Luckily some of the side effects do pass. With Glucophage I get horrible stomach cramps and diarrhea. It passes after being on it regularly for a couple of weeks, and serves as a reminder as to why I don't want to go off it and have to start it all over again!
Most of the others I haven't had any side effects to, excepting insulin which just makes you hungrier so I don't think of that as a side effect.


----------



## babetoo

suziquzie said:


> I have a hard time with the word "never" for foods...
> unles you are allergic of course.
> A highly doubt a small piece of steak once a month or so or a pat of butter here and there would drop a person dead (sorry to be so blunt).
> 
> As for the meds, wow, I don't know what to say. I can't imagine suffering side effects almost worse than the illness! I don't like to take "stuff" I don't have to, but I don't have to... you sound like you really should, to be on the safe side.


 
i agree about the food thing. we all should know what is bad for us heart wise, etc. carbs for diabetic. once in a while is not going to do much damage. what point to living longer if you can never enjoy yourself. i pretty much eat anything, just not much of it. carb wise, i really do watch it, but if sugar goes up i have two kinds of insulin to bring it down. plus an oral med.i take so many pills, i should live forever. lolbabe


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Maverick2272 said:


> FM, I pray for you, rough times with no steak allowed!! I can relate to restricted diets, been on one for 10 years (at least my Dr. thinks I have been, LOL). Most of the times the side effects effect only a small portion of those that take the medicines, but our luck we end up in that small portion. Right now one of mine, no idea which of the 15 I take, is causing, um, 'leakage' and slight bleeding. Uggg.
> As for statins they are for high cholesterol, been on them for years with no side effects and they did their job. I think Lipitor and Zocor if I remember correctly, would have to check my meds list to be sure which I am on now, LOL.
> 
> Edit: As for sleeping thru the night, I can't remember the last time that happened for me. I sleep a little at night until the nightmares wake me up, then later I might catch a couple of hours during the day. So, a few here a few there is the best I can hope for.


Oh man, Mav! Thank you for posting this. (I feel like a big 'ole girl for whining about my 2 little meds when you deal with all of yours and diabetes! And I get a full night's sleep every night - I'm going to be more thankful now.) I'm glad to hear the statins haven't caused you problems - it makes me feel better about taking it. Those package inserts are really scary!

Also, tonight I'll be praying that you and Laurie have a few hours at least of blissful sleep, my friend.


----------



## Maverick2272

By law they have to put all that stuff in there, but somewhere in there it should also mention how often these side effects occurred, usually in 1% of those that took it in most cases, and for most of them it was mild and/or passed quickly. I wouldn't worry too much about it. If you have a problem with one, just tell your doctor and they can try another one. There are many out there, so finding which one is right for you should not be a problem.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Dina said:


> Why do pathology results take SO long?  I'm so fed up waiting for my son's biopsy results.  The procedure was done last Monday, June 2nd and we have to wait until the 12th to get the darn results.  Argh!!!  I'm sick waiting and wondering what my son has on that lump in his neck.  Would you please keep him in your prayers ya'll?


Dina, I'm thinking about you, girlfriend. I'll be praying that you receive wonderful news tomorrow when you get your son's path report. I know tonight will be a long one for you, but please know you're not alone. All of your friends here are waiting with you! Be sure and post as soon as you can tomorrow when you get the report. Till then - big hugs to you and your son.


----------



## pdswife

I have/had a horrid time taking niacin.  It made me feel like I had the worst sun burn ever, I even turned RED.  Most of the pain was on my face and neck but a few times it moved down into my arms and legs.    Dr. told me to eat a low fat snack with it and take one asprin a day.  The side effects have not gone away totally but, it's a heck of a lot better.


----------



## Bilby

Seems like lots of people have been having a horrid time since I last visited DC.  I felt for all of you as I read the posts.

I try not to vent as I am of the belief that what I may complain about today could be ten times worse tomorrow (LOL) but my vent here is that I will have to cut down my time on DC on a more permanent basis.  I have had a huge tax bill coming and it arrived last week so now my finances are very, very restricted. One of the areas that I can cut down on is my internet access.  If I drop my plan down to something basis, the cats, birds and I (and the dog down the street that keeps stealing my tray of cats biscuits!!) can eat!! ;-)  The tax dept changed the way the wanted to tax me last year so instead of me just paying one lump sum with my tax return each year, I now get taxed quarterly which would have been fine if they did it for the tax year that I still had to submit but they started on the current year and so took all the money that I needed to pay the previous year's bill, which is now what I am dealing with.  It will all balance out over a couple of years or sooner if/when I can return to work, just tough for now.  But such is life!! 

I am also concerned for a couple of my cats too which isn't helping things.  My really old cat is really acting her age at the moment, so while I don't think her end is immediately pending, it is looking like more of a defined moment in time.  Tammy is 21.5 years old and she may perk up again when I end up putting the oil heater on - which she loves, but costs a lot to run.  My other black cat, Kimba, has had three cases of the runs in under a month, the last two on Saturday night and Tuesday morning.  I have had to wash all three beds, including the duvets themselves, not to mention countless coversheets etc.  He wanted to snuggle the other night, so I lay there comforting him clasping tissues to his rear!! LOL  Each bout only lasts about 8 hours but as he has been run over twice in his life and has a lot of damage as a result, I am concerned that it is more indicative of a degenerative problem than a bug.  Will see if he has another bout.

Anyway, I am very good at staying positive and putting fears behind me - doesn't do me any good to focus on them.  Deal with things as they happen - if they do.

Anyway, I will still try to check in every few days or so.  Stay well and happy folks!!  Until the next time, take care.


----------



## suziquzie

Well Bilby, I for one think that sucks!!!! 
I hope you can visit more often than you think but always know we are thinking of you!


----------



## Bilby

Thanks Suzi.  At least I am economising in the winter - I can put on more clothes to stay warm. It would suck severely if it was summer and I couldn't run the a/c!!! LOL  It is all a bit new as I only made the arrangement with the tax dept on Monday.  I wasn't going to give them as much as I am each week but they wouldn't accept what I was offering, so I am assuming a fairly bad time financially but life deals you some good things as well as bad so I'm just sucking and seeing a bit.  Just don't want to think it is all too cruisey and then end up in a really bad place. At least I have my family to fall back on. Lots of people are in a worse position than I am and they survive. The net is about the only luxury (other than food!) that I can cut back on.  I still be around though.


----------



## expatgirl

Bilby, does your local library provide internet service whatsoever?  Boy, I'd hate to see you because of financial straits---our local library does...........oh, my I sure hope that you can work things out and yes, I know all about cutting out unnecessary expenses.......I remember having to record a piece of bubble gum in our financial records back in the 70's that's how tight of a budget we were on..........


----------



## Mama

When my DD was in college, they would drive to local hotels and sit in the parking lot with their laptops and use the hotels wireless.  I know a lot of hotels and restaurants here in the states have wireless, I don't know about Australia.  Shoot sometimes if your neighbors have unsecured wireless you can just tap into theirs.


----------



## Maverick2272

I can remember one time supporting DW while she went back to Harper Community College to get her Horticulture Degree. Things were so tight, we lived off liver and potatoes for months at a time and never ran the A/C in the apartment. We also had the heat turned down in the summer and wore heavy clothing around the house. At one point we didn't even have car insurance for six months, or phone service for another six months. But, we survived and it did get better. It is nice to see her finally using that degree though...

Around here even the McDonalds have Internet access for free. As for the hotels, most of them have secured their wireless access so that may be harder to find. Look for the coffee shops as they might still have free Internet access. To bad you and a neighbor can't share a wireless Internet connection, you could split the cost and probably have full access.
I have a wireless network detector I carry with me to see where there are unsecured wireless networks I can use. At home, my laptop can pick up as many as five networks in the area including mine, but all are secured as is mine.


----------



## Maverick2272

Went to the Dr. today. Told her I was still having chest pains on the right side that sometimes traveled down to the elbow. Also told her I had been told this was a side effect from them taking the mammary vein from the right side.
She says "right side eh? Well that's funny cause they took the vein from the left side."
So, now she wants me to get into the Cardiologist ASAP to find out why the right side is hurting.
That should take a good month or so to get done...

Then she goes thru the medications on my list, and says "this is confusing, where is the Lopressor?" The state refused it. Now I know why my heart rate shoots up when I try to go to PT. So we end with her wanting to see me in three months. Three months? Wow I must be in good shape if we can go that long before seeing her again! So now I am feeling pretty good, only the receptionist tells me they don't fill out the schedule that far in advance, call back in two months...

Whatever...


----------



## expatgirl

Wow, Maverick, I can't believe that it takes that long to see a doctor where you live.......my doctor's office was refusing to schedule an apptmt. for my husband for a colonoscopy until the Dr. saw him.....I pleaded and said that he was only in town for 10 days and he was 53 years old and would have the test no matter what so please put him down in the surgery schedule as I wanted to be sure that he had it.........the hoops that I had to go thru........but she reluctantly agreed.....he saw the Dr. and sure enough the exam room was totally packed that morning....the nurses were running like crazy and to this day I could repeat for you word for word the spiel the nurses gave the patients........as it turned out my husband had a precancerous lesion that was removed during the colonoscopy.....surprised the heck out of him 

Maverick, sometimes heart surgery has the side effects of "healing pains".......this might be what your problem is or there is inflammation along the right rib cage........glad that you have a proactive Dr.........of course you should have it checked out and you've also been under a lot of stress recently, too.......please try and take it easy and if you can apply warm compresses to the area and see if that helps---I always use the microwaveable wraps..........so are you able to get the lopressor?  Please take care and hope that you get to see a cardiologist soon


----------



## texasgirl

Well, now I'm going to waitfor the bomb to drop.Kids truck was just repo'd.
When the bank sees it, they're going to have a ball with me. Stupid kid!! I will NEVER do anything like that again for my kids!!I just hope that they don't sue me, I have nothing to give, but, my house and I'lll be da#$%^ if they get that.


----------



## LPBeier

Stacy, I really feel for you girl.  Life just keeps throwing the punches at you lately.  My heart and prayers go out to you.


----------



## pdswife

It's just one thing after another Stacy!  I'm sorry.


----------



## texasgirl

Yeah, I think I will keel over if something good happens!!LOL
I'm okay though. I'm made of tougher stuff than that, just had to rant. lol


----------



## luvs

something good will happen, stacy!


----------



## Maverick2272

Ut-oh thats not good. I take it you were a co-signer on it, which is what has you worried? Had this happen to my SIL when she lost her job, her mom had co-signed the loan. The harassed the heck out of them until one day they sent a certified letter that they had filed suit asking for a lien against the MILs house.
Turns out if they win and get the lien, they can force a sale of the house to re-coup their money. MIL ended up taking out a loan on the house to pay the lien and keep her house.
Nasty business, I am so sorry you are going thru this.


----------



## Maverick2272

expatgirl said:


> Wow, Maverick, I can't believe that it takes that long to see a doctor where you live.......my doctor's office was refusing to schedule an apptmt. for my husband for a colonoscopy until the Dr. saw him.....I pleaded and said that he was only in town for 10 days and he was 53 years old and would have the test no matter what so please put him down in the surgery schedule as I wanted to be sure that he had it.........the hoops that I had to go thru........but she reluctantly agreed.....he saw the Dr. and sure enough the exam room was totally packed that morning....the nurses were running like crazy and to this day I could repeat for you word for word the spiel the nurses gave the patients........as it turned out my husband had a precancerous lesion that was removed during the colonoscopy.....surprised the heck out of him
> 
> Maverick, sometimes heart surgery has the side effects of "healing pains".......this might be what your problem is or there is inflammation along the right rib cage........glad that you have a proactive Dr.........of course you should have it checked out and you've also been under a lot of stress recently, too.......please try and take it easy and if you can apply warm compresses to the area and see if that helps---I always use the microwaveable wraps..........so are you able to get the lopressor?  Please take care and hope that you get to see a cardiologist soon



Nope, no Lopressor. 
And we got a letter today from Illinois Medicaid/Harmony HMO saying they will not cover my appendix operation because they were not faxed the info on what it was. Um, if you weren't faxed any info, how do you know what it was? DW yelled at em this morning for a couple of hours, and supposedly they are going to contact my doctor and 'work it out'. They literally referenced exactly what I was in the hospital for, but then claimed that they didn't know what I was in the hospital for and that is why they refused payment.... neat trick.
As for the Cardiologist, that takes a referral to go see him, and my doctor didn't write one out for me.. so I don't think that will be happening anytime soon either.


----------



## redkitty

People who have absolutely no respect for others time.  Grrrrr....so pissed right now.  This flakey girl who is buying our TV was supposed to be here at 5pm.  Sent me a text to ask if she could come "a bit" later, I said sure.  Then calls me at 7:15pm to say she is home and needs to eat then will drive over.  It's now 8:45pm I get another text saying shes picking up a friend at the train station at 9:15pm then coming over!  I can't believe the freakin nerve of some people.........


----------



## texasgirl

redkitty said:


> People who have absolutely no respect for others time. Grrrrr....so pissed right now. This flakey girl who is buying our TV was supposed to be here at 5pm. Sent me a text to ask if she could come "a bit" later, I said sure. Then calls me at 7:15pm to say she is home and needs to eat then will drive over. It's now 8:45pm I get another text saying shes picking up a friend at the train station at 9:15pm then coming over! I can't believe the freakin nerve of some people.........


I would have told her to come by tomorrow.


----------



## Maverick2272

I think I would have told her the same thing, sorry it is too late now.


----------



## LPBeier

I think I would have told her the TV was sold to someone else who was on TIME!!!!!


----------



## redkitty

You guys are the best!!  I'm going to run upstairs to shower as soon as she shows up so I don't have to deal with her!  So annoyed...


----------



## Maverick2272

Answer the door, but don't open it, just ask her to hold on a second then make her wait for 5 or 10 minutes outside. Then invite her in, but make her wait by the door for a few more minutes, LOL.


----------



## Mama

Yeah!  Answer the door and then tell her she'll have to wait until you finish the laundry and the dishes.


----------



## LPBeier

And after you go grocery shopping.....across town!!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Mama said:


> Yeah!  Answer the door and then tell her she'll have to wait until you finish the laundry and the dishes.


 or pluck your eyebrows or shave your legs or clean the bathroom grout with a toothbrush....


----------



## Barbara L

I have so many things I want to say and that I need to say but nothing wants to come out.  I went a while without reading these posts--not sure why.  It was just like it was too much to take in at the time.  Then I started reading them, and everyone was going through so many horrible things, so many that I wouldn't be able to respond to each need or broken heart, and I felt bad about that.  I know I shouldn't worry about it--I do pray for all of your needs--but when I start to respond lately, I feel as if I just don't have the right words to say, so I just haven't been saying anything.  

I have been pretty down on myself lately--just not saying anything to anyone.  I don't know if it is depression or adult ADD (I fit just about all the symptoms I have read about adult ADD, but possibly have depression on top of it?).  I don't feel depressed at all, but one of the symptoms of depression is lack of motivation.  The thing is, I know what needs to be done, and I intend to do it, but then I end up sitting in front of the stupid computer all day.  I get all excited about all that I have planned, then I waste my time, and then I end up mentally beating myself up because of how worthless I was that day.  I am doing better, and I know I will continue to do even better, but what I have felt like all this week is that I am just wasting most of my time.  I am back on a horrible sleep schedule (to bed between 5:00 and 6:00 in the morning, up around 11:00 to noon) which definitely doesn't help.  When James starts work it will be easier to establish a better sleep schedule, but I would like to do it sooner.  Unfortunately he has gotten just about as bad when he is here.  He only has one week of school left, and it would be very easy for both of us to end up with this horrible sleep schedule.  I'm going to work on it this coming week.  James actually sleeps a lot in his chair, so he gets more sleep than I do, but hopefully we will both start getting more regular sleep.  We are supposed to both go to the doctor when he is out of school.  I had mentioned that I thought I might be having problems with depression, but I don't think she realized I was really concerned about it (I was kind of unsure of it all and it probably didn't really sound like I was concerned), but I will bring it up again on this next visit.  

I am so sorry to have rambled on like this (I hope at least some of it made sense!).  All I really wanted to do was tell you that I have been reading these posts, even if I don't always respond, and that I am concerned for all of your needs and do pray for you.  

Barbara


----------



## Maverick2272

You describe a lot of what I do, which for me is the result of depression. Staying up late, sleeping in, no motivation to do things. I would definitely talk with your Dr. on a serious level about the possibility of depression. Many different things can cause it, not just mental illness. 
I get the same way sometimes here, I can't respond to posts or back off for awhile, then I respond to tons of them in one day. I have wide mood swings, and it shows when I go back and look at my activity. Sometimes it is hard to understand, and I can be pretty hard on myself. I look back and think "why was I so lazy I didn't get anything done!". Sometimes DW does the same thing, it is hard for her to understand as well, and sometimes her frustration leads her to ask why I am so lazy, or to lash out at me, call me names or question my worth. All of this can be signs of depression, including how you interact with others and how _they_ interact with you.
I would definitely talk with your Dr. about depression, they should have a questionnaire for you to fill out then you can go from there. If you and your doctor decide on meds, take the time to learn about them. Some people only need one, some are on 'cocktails' of meds (I am on 3), and there are several 'families' of meds.
I will pray for you that it is something temporary and you come out of it soon and return to your normal self! After all, as I said there are more causes than just mental illness. There is also stress for one, and many other factors that when taken care of or removed from your environment eliminate the depression.


----------



## texasgirl

Barbara, you should go to your doctor and talk to them about what is going on! Depression is not something to play with. love and hugs!!


----------



## JoAnn L.

Barbara, my heart goes out to you. I always thought people with depression should just get over it, until it happened to me. It was awful. Mine was job related. I use to go for walks when I got home from work and didn't even care if I got hit by a car. I thought if I did, I won't have to go to work again or at least for a while. I have never been rude in my life and I was starting to get rude. I hated it. Finally my DH and I talked it over and we both agreed that I should take early retirement. I thank God everyday that I did. I stilll have trouble sleeping though. I go to bed about 1:30 and wake up between 5 and 6. 
Barbara, I hope and pray that you go to the doctors and get some help. I will pray for you. JoAnn


----------



## jpmcgrew

Maverick2272 said:


> You describe a lot of what I do, which for me is the result of depression. Staying up late, sleeping in, no motivation to do things. I would definitely talk with your Dr. on a serious level about the possibility of depression. Many different things can cause it, not just mental illness.
> I get the same way sometimes here, I can't respond to posts or back off for awhile, then I respond to tons of them in one day. I have wide mood swings, and it shows when I go back and look at my activity. Sometimes it is hard to understand, and I can be pretty hard on myself. I look back and think "why was I so lazy I didn't get anything done!". Sometimes DW does the same thing, it is hard for her to understand as well, and sometimes her frustration leads her to ask why I am so lazy, or to lash out at me, call me names or question my worth. All of this can be signs of depression, including how you interact with others and how _they_ interact with you.
> I would definitely talk with your Dr. about depression, they should have a questionnaire for you to fill out then you can go from there. If you and your doctor decide on meds, take the time to learn about them. Some people only need one, some are on 'cocktails' of meds (I am on 3), and there are several 'families' of meds.
> I will pray for you that it is something temporary and you come out of it soon and return to your normal self! After all, as I said there are more causes than just mental illness. There is also stress for one, and many other factors that when taken care of or removed from your environment eliminate the depression.


 I found out I was depressed and didn't even know it as I wasn't in a serious way I also had no motivation could not fall asleep or stay asleep cry for no reason I then got on Paxil and I swear I never want to go off of it, my life has changed so much I got into arts and crafts and took different classes and actually finished them and so forth. It really changed my life.


----------



## Barbara L

Thanks everyone.  I will definitely talk to the doctor about it.  

I know when it started for me--when I had to quit my job.  Then I found myself at home all day, which I actually don't mind.  I love being with people, but I also love being by myself (with the dog and cats).  I seriously think I have adult ADD.  I have read a lot about it, and I have a lot of the symptoms (some of which are a lot like those of depression).  I think losing my job just compounded the problems I already had.  One of the problems people with adult ADD have is prioritizing.  For instance, I will have a lot of things that have to be done--I am eager to get them done, but with so much to be done, and all of them being important, I don't know where to start, so I end up not doing any of them.  One thing I have learned is to make very short to-do lists, with no more than 3 things (preferably 1 big thing and 2 not so big things).  

As far as my weird sleeping schedule--that's a combination of two things.  Part of it is just me.  I have always been a night owl.  I think part of it is also the fact that James has been away from home 4 nights a week (he leaves very early Monday mornings and comes home Friday evenings) for the last 11 months.  The good news is that next Friday, the 20th, is his last day.  He starts his new job in the middle of August.  So having him home will make a big difference all around.  

Barbara


----------



## Dina

Barbara L said:


> I have so many things I want to say and that I need to say but nothing wants to come out. I went a while without reading these posts--not sure why. It was just like it was too much to take in at the time. Then I started reading them, and everyone was going through so many horrible things, so many that I wouldn't be able to respond to each need or broken heart, and I felt bad about that. I know I shouldn't worry about it--I do pray for all of your needs--but when I start to respond lately, I feel as if I just don't have the right words to say, so I just haven't been saying anything.
> 
> I have been pretty down on myself lately--just not saying anything to anyone. I don't know if it is depression or adult ADD (I fit just about all the symptoms I have read about adult ADD, but possibly have depression on top of it?). I don't feel depressed at all, but one of the symptoms of depression is lack of motivation. The thing is, I know what needs to be done, and I intend to do it, but then I end up sitting in front of the stupid computer all day. I get all excited about all that I have planned, then I waste my time, and then I end up mentally beating myself up because of how worthless I was that day. I am doing better, and I know I will continue to do even better, but what I have felt like all this week is that I am just wasting most of my time. I am back on a horrible sleep schedule (to bed between 5:00 and 6:00 in the morning, up around 11:00 to noon) which definitely doesn't help. When James starts work it will be easier to establish a better sleep schedule, but I would like to do it sooner. Unfortunately he has gotten just about as bad when he is here. He only has one week of school left, and it would be very easy for both of us to end up with this horrible sleep schedule. I'm going to work on it this coming week. James actually sleeps a lot in his chair, so he gets more sleep than I do, but hopefully we will both start getting more regular sleep. We are supposed to both go to the doctor when he is out of school. I had mentioned that I thought I might be having problems with depression, but I don't think she realized I was really concerned about it (I was kind of unsure of it all and it probably didn't really sound like I was concerned), but I will bring it up again on this next visit.
> 
> I am so sorry to have rambled on like this (I hope at least some of it made sense!). All I really wanted to do was tell you that I have been reading these posts, even if I don't always respond, and that I am concerned for all of your needs and do pray for you.
> 
> Barbara


 
Barb,
We love you so much here dear lady and any concern of yours is ours too. I woke up after falling asleep at 11:00 tonight and something pulled me to the computer to check the boards. (Possibly to find some words to comfort you somehow.) I've been there where you are my dear. I never mention it either but for over a year, if not more, I too was depressed. I also lost my teaching job due to certification issues and having a pushy principal.  I have been on 25 milligrams of meds for over 3 months now and I can honestly say that I have cried ONLY once in that period as opposed to crying almost every day for no important reason at all. I am self motivated and take the kids to do lots of fun things as opposed to waiting on someone else (like DH) to push me to do things with the family. I have 3 young kids who deserve my attention and quality time and I wasted so much time neglecting them, at times, because I was feeling sorry for myself. I know exactly how lonely it feels. I now feel I can do everything "independently". I feel a purpose and self worth even if I'm a stay at home mom at the moment. I have all the reasons to be happy and STOP letting life pass me by. Have faith that God and meds will help you. Don't procrastinate about seeing a doctor soon. God does help you but you must begin by helping yourself. I truly believe in that. Rest assured that the meds will change you into a better person, the person you'd like to be. I have you and James in my prayers every day and I will be praying for your well being even harder. Hugs to you sweet lady! {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Dina, I can't wait anymore. Did you get your son's pathology report yesterday? I've been thinking hard about ya'll.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Barbara L, my heart goes out to you. I really think that stress is a huge factor in how you are feeling. You and James had some serious financial constraints for most of the last year, plus he is away from you for most of the week. Then your job loss. Like JP says, stress can do a number on you. Even though you won the house and the financial issues are so much better, and James will be home for good soon, you can't turn it on and off like a light switch. All the stress has left you shell-shocked. I really think if you seek out help, you can resolve this pretty quickly.

Here's a little tip too - try forcing yourself to do something really strenuous for a couple of days. I'm talking washing walls, scrubbing floors by hand, scouring bathroom tiles, etc. You could exercise on gym equipment, too, but I think it's helpful emotionally to have accomplished something when you're wearing yourself out. (A great self-esteem booster.) If you can set yourself to a hard physical task each day, it actually releases hormones and chemicals that combat stress. It will exhaust you so you will fall asleep, too. Good luck, hon. This is tough but you are a brave woman just posting about it. I know you will conquer this.


----------



## buckytom

f-mom, the next time you're feeling kinda blue, you are more than welcome to come stay at my house.  we have very hard water so my bathroom tiles are disgusting.

barbara, getting help is great, but paraphrasing from the wizard of oz (and redkitty's return to s.f.), you always had it in you to get home. to get back to being happy; appreciating life; the whole ball o' wax.

a therapist might be able to help you realize your way back, but remember it's just help, and it's your way. no one else can do it for you, so just go do it for yourself.
also, be careful of psycho-pharmacology. it's often a crutch rather than a cure.

believe in yourself, and you'll be fine. 

we'll get around to doing the rest of the stuff tomorrow, now that the bathroom is sparkly!!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

buckytom said:


> f-mom, the next time you're feeling kinda blue, you are more than welcome to come stay at my house.  we have very hard water so my bathroom tiles are disgusting.


Mine is too. I think I purposely stay giddy happy most of the time just to avoid the hard work treatment for the blues. But hey, I'll keep you in mind in case I get a little down.


----------



## Dina

Fisher's Mom said:


> Dina, I can't wait anymore. Did you get your son's pathology report yesterday? I've been thinking hard about ya'll.


 Thank you for asking.  We did get the pathology results on Thursday morning.  The ENT surgeon told us that no cancer cells were found.  Thank you Lord!!!  All they found was fluid that encapsuling the mass but the doc said that only surgery will tell us what exactly it is.  As soon as the mass is removed, it will be sent to pathology and we should know what it is that same day.  Part of his hyoid bone will have to come out if the mass is attached to it.  He will have a scar on the neck; recuperation time is one week.  Justin's suppose to have a day surgery, God willing, with no complications on July 10th.  If anything else should come up, he will stay in the hospital longer.

Would you all PLEASE keep praying for my son?  I'm relieved in one way knowing no cancer was found, but worried not knowing how the surgery will turn out.


----------



## Maverick2272

That is awesome news, no cancer! But I will keep praying that his surgery, when it happens, goes smoothly and he recovers quickly.

So, whos volunteering to come to my house and clean?? LOL.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Dina said:


> Thank you for asking.  We did get the pathology results on Thursday morning.  The ENT surgeon told us that no cancer cells were found.  Thank you Lord!!!  All they found was fluid that encapsuling the mass but the doc said that only surgery will tell us what exactly it is.  As soon as the mass is removed, it will be sent to pathology and we should know what it is that same day.  Part of his hyoid bone will have to come out if the mass is attached to it.  He will have a scar on the neck; recuperation time is one week.  Justin's suppose to have a day surgery, God willing, with no complications on July 10th.  If anything else should come up, he will stay in the hospital longer.
> 
> Would you all PLEASE keep praying for my son?  I'm relieved in one way knowing no cancer was found, but worried not knowing how the surgery will turn out.


I'm so glad to hear that it's so far, so good but I won't stop praying for him til I hear the stitches are out and all is well. It's so scary. I hope his scar isn't too bad and he heals quickly and without incident. July 10th seems so far away, doesn't it? Anyway, please post as soon as he goes in and at all the stops along the way.


----------



## texasgirl

You know, I knew we lived in a crap town, but, I didn't realize just how much until now. My husband walked out to unload his tools, well, the empty, brushy and trashy lot across the street, the people show up once a year to mow after getting 3 foot tall, so, LOTS of dead brush, lit it on fire and then LEFT!! It was on fire, about a foot high flames slowly spreading on the ground going towards a big pile of brush and trees that they cut down last year. dh came in told me to call 911 and he went with the water hose. 10 minutes later, after dh put most of it out, one dodge dulley pulls up with a tank. first thing out of his mouth yelling, you been burning over here?? dh said h#$% no, I'M putting it OUT!! Then, he got out, with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and looked around, Aww, just a grass fire!! OMG!!!!!!! Dh went off on him. He said, well, glad your putting it out instead of my freaking house!! The guy just looked at him and said, yeah, i guess that wouldn't be good, huh? UNAPPRECIATIVE JERKS!!
Got pics too of who put most of it out!! LOL
2 factors REALLY helped. #1, the wind died down. #2 it rained for about an hour or so just this morning!! Thank GOD, cause I know he was in on this one!!


----------



## babetoo

i am so so angry. god or whoever is picking on my friend kate. she needs her buck more than  god does. so unfair, so sad. it is breaking my heart. 

don't tell me not to be angry. please, just needed to vent this out

babe


----------



## texasgirl

babetoo said:


> i am so so angry. god or whoever is picking on my friend kate. she needs her buck more that god does. so unfair, so sad. it is breaking my heart.
> 
> don't tell me not to be angry. please, just needed to vent this out
> 
> babe


 
i not going to tell you not to be angry!! i'm with you all the way!!!!


----------



## Barbara L

Thank you all again for your kind words.  

Dina, I am praying for your son.

Stacy, I don't blame you for being upset about that.  Just a grass fire!  It may have been much more if your husband hadn't taken care of it.  A few years ago I lived in an apartment that was kind of out in the country.  There were two brick buildings with 4 duplex townhouse apartments.  There was a hay field behind the building, and it also was along one side of the property.  A guy a couple houses down decided to burn some stuff on a very windy day.  Within just a few minutes it had spread and burned the whole hay field, our front and back yard right up to the porch (our back porch rail was scorched).  I was fortunate because we had a meeting at work; otherwise I would have been parked in the yard where it burned.  You just can't always predict what will happen, and how fast, when it comes to fire.  

Barbara


----------



## Alix

I'm just so sad and mad right now. Just got word at church that a young man who has dedicated his life to others and was vital and full of love and promise has died in a car accident. His wife and two young children (2 and 4) are still in hospital but will live. On top of Buck's illness and not being able to be there for Katie I am just so mad I could spit.  Why???? Dang it all, I just want to shake my fists at something and yell. Instead, I'm going to cry some more and pray some more. But oh boy am I frustrated.


----------



## LadyCook61

Alix said:


> I'm just so sad and mad right now. Just got word at church that a young man who has dedicated his life to others and was vital and full of love and promise has died in a car accident. His wife and two young children (2 and 4) are still in hospital but will live. On top of Buck's illness and not being able to be there for Katie I am just so mad I could spit. Why???? Dang it all, I just want to shake my fists at something and yell. Instead, I'm going to cry some more and pray some more. But oh boy am I frustrated.


 
I am sorry , Alix.  Life is not fair.  No one knows the *why* of things.  
hugs,
 Diane


----------



## Mama

Alix said:


> I'm just so sad and mad right now. Just got word at church that a young man who has dedicated his life to others and was vital and full of love and promise has died in a car accident. His wife and two young children (2 and 4) are still in hospital but will live. On top of Buck's illness and not being able to be there for Katie I am just so mad I could spit. Why???? Dang it all, I just want to shake my fists at something and yell. Instead, I'm going to cry some more and pray some more. But oh boy am I frustrated.


 
"Sometimes, there just aren't enough rocks!"


----------



## Barbara L

I'm so sorry to hear that Alix.  I don't even know what to say.  I will pray for his family that they heal quickly, in body and in spirit.

Barbara


----------



## suziquzie

I'm sorry Alix, I know how that goes....

Today is just a sad day all around. It sucks that it has to be father's day. Today would have been my SIL's 35th birthday, she was killed in a car accident in late 2003. She was also my best friend. 
Today also marks the last day we saw my FIL before he died that same year. DH and I went to his house to say Happy Father's day, and to tell him I was pregnant again.... actually we didn't tell him..... his wife offered me a beer and I refused.... so he knew that would be the ONLY reason. ANyway he died of a heart attack 2 days later..... Melissa (the SIL that died) never forgave herself for not going to visit with us, she was chilling out on her 30th birthday... she didn't live long enough to regret it the next father's day. 
Went to the cemetery after work, then pizza at my MIL's.... Help me I need a laugh I cant possibly cry anymore today.


----------



## Barbara L

suziquzie said:


> ... Help me I need a laugh I cant possibly cry anymore today.


Just remember that God is with us through it all, even if we don't feel Him in the moment. Remember that He gave us our families and friends to love and cherish while we have them with us, and to remember when they are gone. And when you need to laugh, just remember that He also gave us armadillos, platypusses, and aardvarks. 

Barbara


----------



## babetoo

Barbara L said:


> I have so many things I want to say and that I need to say but nothing wants to come out. I went a while without reading these posts--not sure why. It was just like it was too much to take in at the time. Then I started reading them, and everyone was going through so many horrible things, so many that I wouldn't be able to respond to each need or broken heart, and I felt bad about that. I know I shouldn't worry about it--I do pray for all of your needs--but when I start to respond lately, I feel as if I just don't have the right words to say, so I just haven't been saying anything.
> 
> I have been pretty down on myself lately--just not saying anything to anyone. I don't know if it is depression or adult ADD (I fit just about all the symptoms I have read about adult ADD, but possibly have depression on top of it?). I don't feel depressed at all, but one of the symptoms of depression is lack of motivation. The thing is, I know what needs to be done, and I intend to do it, but then I end up sitting in front of the stupid computer all day. I get all excited about all that I have planned, then I waste my time, and then I end up mentally beating myself up because of how worthless I was that day. I am doing better, and I know I will continue to do even better, but what I have felt like all this week is that I am just wasting most of my time. I am back on a horrible sleep schedule (to bed between 5:00 and 6:00 in the morning, up around 11:00 to noon) which definitely doesn't help. When James starts work it will be easier to establish a better sleep schedule, but I would like to do it sooner. Unfortunately he has gotten just about as bad when he is here. He only has one week of school left, and it would be very easy for both of us to end up with this horrible sleep schedule. I'm going to work on it this coming week. James actually sleeps a lot in his chair, so he gets more sleep than I do, but hopefully we will both start getting more regular sleep. We are supposed to both go to the doctor when he is out of school. I had mentioned that I thought I might be having problems with depression, but I don't think she realized I was really concerned about it (I was kind of unsure of it all and it probably didn't really sound like I was concerned), but I will bring it up again on this next visit.
> 
> I am so sorry to have rambled on like this (I hope at least some of it made sense!). All I really wanted to do was tell you that I have been reading these posts, even if I don't always respond, and that I am concerned for all of your needs and do pray for you.
> 
> Barbara


 
sounds like classic depression to me. and believe me i know about depression. i take three different pills for it and a panic disorder. bout ten years now, since my husband was murdered. 

it is or can be very frightening thing to live with. i did all the shrinks, and groups , etc. some helped, some didn't. been about five years since i have seen a shrink. meds do the trick. 

see a shrink, barbara, not just a doc. they know more about this subject than a regular m.d. then take whatever they give you for as long as they say. most of them take a while to work, and it might take some time to find just the right med for you. 

the change in your life will be worth it, i know. it is not a shameful thing no matter what some people say.  you deserve an life without depression. 

babe


----------



## Barbara L

Thanks Babe! 

I'm starting to feel guilty because I am worried some of you think it is worse than it is. As I said, I don't feel depressed (no more than most people, I suppose). I mostly just have a huge lack of motivation which causes me to get nothing done. 

Because of finances (the money from the house took care of some major things--paid off house and land, car, paid off a lot of bills--but has left us just enough to, hopefully, make it until James starts his job) I will talk to our regular doctor, at least for starters. She is an excellent doctor, and she is good about recommending specialists for anything I need. 

I know that depression is not the taboo subject that it used to be, and that it affects people in all walks of life. James became very depressed when he was out of work for so long, and he takes Effexor. He has noticed that it takes an edge off of his feelings just enough to help. For instance, he used to get nervous driving in heavy traffic in strange cities, but he doesn't feel that nervousness doing that now. I know several people who are on medication for the same thing. I think some of the new medications for depression are safer and less scary than some of the ones they used so much in the past. They also have medications for adult ADD, which I think is really my biggest problem. Of course, I am not a doctor (I just play one on TV! LOL) and would not presume to diagnose myself. But I do like to explore the possibilities before presenting it to a doctor. 

I am probably one of the most Pollyanna-ish people you will ever meet. I am the eternal optimist, and I have a very strong faith in God, and I know that those two things have gotten me through so many things. Whenever I start to fall into a "why me" kind of attitude, I remember that I have it so much better than so many other people. 

I do appreciate, so much, the caring people I have met here at DC. And believe me, I care as much for all of you. 

Barbara


----------



## redkitty

My insomnia seems petty compared to all your pain posted here.  Sending each of you my warmest thoughts...


----------



## LPBeier

This has been a strange day for me.  It was a good visit with my Dad and sister, but my mind was strangely divided between Buck and Katie, DD's fiance still in the hospital (until I got a call that he was released around 4:00!!!!), and praying for the boyfriend of another of my "kids" who lost his Dad in September in a motorcycle accident.  

Donald is in his mid twenties and was trying to act "tough", but I knew he was hurting as this is the first Father's Day without his Dad.  I told him that I still think of my Mom and it has been 13 Mother's Days since we lost her to cancer.  

Then I also found out that my best friend's Mom has cancer....this is my friend who is terminally ill herself from complications of spina bifida.

My prayer list is sure full tonight.


----------



## kadesma

It was an odd day here as well..I just had such a hard time staying fixed on the day..I'd start something and then find myself here looking to see if there was any news, then on my knees saying a prayer..one wonderful thing Cade found me in here and  quietly knelt beside me..He put his head on my shoulder  and just stayed very still till i was done..he then said  I asked GOD to let your friends be ok ma..Oh boy, it was almost impossible not to cry..What a neat little boy we've been graced with..
Love can really make you feel ten feet tall.
Night all, time to say some prayers..Msy the Lord watch over all of us this night.
kadesma


----------



## expatgirl

What a sweetie, Cadesma!  My daughter-in-law found me in a welter of tears yesterday afternoon after I had just found out that Buck might only have a few days at best and she knew.  She said "It's your friends isn't it?"  She put her arms around me and gave me a hug.


----------



## kadesma

expatgirl said:


> What a sweetie, Cadesma!  My daughter-in-law found me in a welter of tears yesterday afternoon after I had just found out that Buck might only have a few days at best and she knew.  She said "It's your friends isn't it?"  She put her arms around me and gave me a hug.


I feel the love we give comes back to us, just when we need it.How wonderful your daughter-in-law knows you so well.

kades


----------



## luvs

kadesma said:


> It was an odd day here as well..I just had such a hard time staying fixed on the day..I'd start something and then find myself here looking to see if there was any news, then on my knees saying a prayer..one wonderful thing Cade found me in here and quietly knelt beside me..He put his head on my shoulder and just stayed very still till i was done..he then said I asked GOD to let your friends be ok ma..Oh boy, it was almost impossible not to cry..What a neat little boy we've been graced with..
> Love can really make you feel ten feet tall.
> Night all, time to say some prayers..Msy the Lord watch over all of us this night.
> kadesma


 

that's precious, kads.


----------



## kadesma

Thanks luvs,
he is a special little person.
kades


----------



## luvs

student loans!!!!!!!! aughhhh!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Barbara L

luvs said:


> student loans!!!!!!!! aughhhh!!!!!!!!!


I'm right there with you on that one!  Yuck

Barbara


----------



## Maverick2272

I sure hope you got them at a reduced rate for students or thru the Federal Government, those things can be a burden enough without having them at regular interest rates!!


----------



## Barbara L

I had no clue what was what and I owe a fortune for getting my master's degree.  Plus, since we weren't able to pay it off with our prize money, as we had hoped to do, we will owe an added $10,000 interest just for having to pay it off monthly.  I have to win another sweeps!

Barbara


----------



## Maverick2272

You and me both, LOL!


----------



## JoAnn L.

I went up to the cemetery for my dad's Fathers Day. When I was going to leave I went past my great-great-grandfathers grave and noticed that his daughters stone, right next to his had been broken in half. It is a very tall one and it broke at an angle. I called the office when I got home and they said that they had alot of vandalism in that area the night before. ( I didn't even notice, I was so heart sick ). That stone has been there for over 100 years. My DH and I are going back up there tomorrow morning and see what he can do to fix it. I would love to ask the person who did this, WHY?


----------



## Maverick2272

It is pretty sad when we have to start to consider locking our cemeteries tighter than our prisons. When I was growing up, even the 'bad seeds' knew not to mess with the graves.
I am sorry to hear this happened to you, I hope you are able to get it fixed without a lot of trouble.


----------



## JoAnn L.

Maverick2272 said:


> It is pretty sad when we have to start to consider locking our cemeteries tighter than our prisons. When I was growing up, even the 'bad seeds' knew not to mess with the graves.
> I am sorry to hear this happened to you, I hope you are able to get it fixed without a lot of trouble.


 
Thanks Maverick, one of the big cement ern's by my mom and dad grave's had broken in half once and my DH did get that put back together, so I am hoping he can repair this too. The only trouble is, this tombstone  is made of sandstone. That is how old it is.


----------



## Maverick2272

I wish him luck, out here they have actually started selling insurance for headstones and grave sites for just this reason. Really makes ya think...


----------



## jpmcgrew

kadesma said:


> It was an odd day here as well..I just had such a hard time staying fixed on the day..I'd start something and then find myself here looking to see if there was any news, then on my knees saying a prayer..one wonderful thing Cade found me in here and quietly knelt beside me..He put his head on my shoulder and just stayed very still till i was done..he then said I asked GOD to let your friends be ok ma..Oh boy, it was almost impossible not to cry..What a neat little boy we've been graced with..
> Love can really make you feel ten feet tall.
> Night all, time to say some prayers..Msy the Lord watch over all of us this night.
> kadesma


 Made me cry the whole situation makes me cry. What a sweet caring little boy.


----------



## kadesma

Me too JP and yes Cade is a sweet little boy..He spent the afternoon with me and when we were taking him home, his mom called and I had to give him the sad news that our little angel Maya Rose had passed away..His eyes just filled with tears and he said oh Ma, I' so glad we celebrated her life sunday and that I sat with her and kissed her when she started to fall asleep..I kissed her goodbye..Then he just sat back leaned his head on the seat, closed his eye and said Ma, can we say a prayer

kadesma


----------



## Barbara L

What a sad but sweet story cj.  You have so much to be proud of in Cade!

Barbara


----------



## kadesma

Barbara L said:


> What a sad but sweet story cj.  You have so much to be proud of in Cade!
> 
> Barbara


Thanks Barb,
I know I talk about him a lot, but he is the focus of my life.
kades


----------



## texasgirl

kadesma said:


> Thanks Barb,
> I know I talk about him a lot, but he is the focus of my life.
> kades


 
Of course you talk about him alot, who wouldn't talk about that angel, he is so worth the discussions!!


----------



## suziquzie

Last week when we went to baseball practice for my son, we and 2 other people were the only people that showed up. Tried calling the coach, no luck. Now the previous 2 practices were called off due to rain. 
Last night was a game. I asked another parent what happened, and she said they "voted" at some point not to do practice, just games. 
Here's my issue. 
1) Nobody called to make sure everyone knew about this "decision".

2)What does this teach our kids? To only halfway commit to something? These selfish parents are "too busy" to give up 2 evenings a week to hang out at the ball park with thier 8 year olds, so once a week has to be good enough? 
That's my biggest problem with it... I don't really mind that we went to hang out at the playground with our kids for no reason last week. 
Ok done.


----------



## pdswife

I'd be upset too!  And why didn't you get to vote?  Did you pay to have your son on this team??


----------



## suziquzie

yep, $40 bucks that I'd have rather put in to our pantry or freezer. 
Can you believe this is much better organized than last year though? Ugh it was miserable. 
I'll give it next year and if they still suck then we'll find a new sport.


----------



## pdswife

Well...since they cancelled half the fun... I'd want 1/2 my money back!

( I like my money!!!)


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Depression*

Has anyone experienced not being able to cry when taking depression medicat ion?  No tears even for sad dog stories!  Is this good?  Aren't you supposed to release your feelings?  I don't know if I would rather do without this medication and have natural feelings.  Doctor t ells me I told you to take the medication.


----------



## mikki

Suzi- have you thought about organizing a practice yourself? When that happened to my daughters team, a few parants found out that after the coach agreed to coach he got a new job and could only do games so a couple of us parents took over and if the original coach could be there fine if not we handled it.


----------



## LPBeier

In the Kitchen said:


> Has anyone experienced not being able to cry when taking depression medicat ion? No tears even for sad dog stories! Is this good? Aren't you supposed to release your feelings? I don't know if I would rather do without this medication and have natural feelings. Doctor t ells me I told you to take the medication.


 
ITK, I take anti-depressants and mood stabilizers and there was a period of time when I felt "flat" - not able to feel happy or sad and no, this is NOT good or normal.  You should not go without the medication, but you should go to the doctor and ask if your dose can be altered or try a different medication.  Anti-depressants should bring you to normal moods but some can make you over medicated which then causes lack of emotion.  If this doctor won't help, see if you can go to another.


----------



## Alix

Why? Thats the only thought in my head right now.


----------



## Barbara L

In the Kitchen said:


> Has anyone experienced not being able to cry when taking depression medicat ion? No tears even for sad dog stories! Is this good? Aren't you supposed to release your feelings? I don't know if I would rather do without this medication and have natural feelings. Doctor t ells me I told you to take the medication.


How long have you been taking this particular medication?  Have you had time to adjust to it?  Have you been taking it regularly?

James said his just takes the edge off his emotions, but it doesn't wipe the emotions away altogether.  I would find out about changing medications or at least the strength of the one you are taking (and a new doctor if he won't change it).

Barbara


----------



## Fisher's Mom

I have a friend who had the same problem on lithium and she wouldn't take it reliably because of that. It was a real issue because she is bi-polar and got into problems when she was off her meds, but felt "dead" when she took it. Finally, they have developed so many more meds that her doc was able to try a few until they found one that worked without that side effect. I would suggest that if you have been on this drug for a few months, long enough to see if it is a temporary effect, you should ask your doc to try a different medication. If he/she refuses, you might want to get a doc who is more responsive to your needs.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Thanks*

I just got back from helping my brother at 2 and felt so lethargic without any ambition to get going, that I sat down.  I fell asleep and just woke up now.  I haven't done this in many days.  This only makes me feel miserable when I didn't get my stuff done.  Now have to wait till tomorrow.  These pills are capsules and cannot break in half.  I will ask my doctor when I see him end of month.  I don't like pills that make you sleep or don't react right.  Must really do something to the brain.  Just found out my niece and my instructor both have to put their dogs to sleep and I have been thinking about this dog with acupuncture when it will be his time? Both these people have real feelings for their dogs as they got them when they were puppies.  One is 15 other 18.  That is really old.  Mine is 13, was my mother's before she passed away.  That is how I knew something not right when I didn't start crying.  Putting dog down always tore my heart out.  I'm sorry but dogs have never hurt me the way most people have.  That is why hearing them having o be put down, affects me most of the time.  Thanks for your time and understanding.  Just sorry you all have to grieve over problems that life brings.  If you have someone who sympathizes with you about pain, you are blessed.  Seems most are more concerned about themselves.  Even my brothers.  Only when threat that I won't be here would bother them.  thanks again


----------



## jpmcgrew

I take Paxil  I still cry but only for a reason the doc said I will still cry because it's situational and not because of a chemical unbalance.


----------



## texasgirl

Alix said:


> Why? Thats the only thought in my head right now.


 
DITTO!!


----------



## Maverick2272

I am kinda in the same place In The Kitchen is, emotions are deadened and I can't really feel anything right now. Woke up late, did manage to get to the laundry mat to get some clothes done for the kids as they were out of clean clothes. Now I am back home and should start supper but haven't.... I am just tired and don't feel like doing much except sleeping or laying down.
I know it is because my sugar is high, and I am in a depressed cycle, so my mood is all over the place. One minute high as a kite, the next curled up in a ball wanting to die. I was supposed to get my meds in order again to start taking them, DW made sure I got em this morning, but I am not taking the Cymbalta at the moment and I really should be. Funny thing is when I am on it I don't think it is working, but when I go off it I suddenly realize it was. I can take it at night so I will start it tonight and hopefully DW will be there to make sure I stay on em this time...


----------



## babetoo

Maverick2272 said:


> I am kinda in the same place In The Kitchen is, emotions are deadened and I can't really feel anything right now. Woke up late, did manage to get to the laundry mat to get some clothes done for the kids as they were out of clean clothes. Now I am back home and should start supper but haven't.... I am just tired and don't feel like doing much except sleeping or laying down.
> I know it is because my sugar is high, and I am in a depressed cycle, so my mood is all over the place. One minute high as a kite, the next curled up in a ball wanting to die. I was supposed to get my meds in order again to start taking them, DW made sure I got em this morning, but I am not taking the Cymbalta at the moment and I really should be. Funny thing is when I am on it I don't think it is working, but when I go off it I suddenly realize it was. I can take it at night so I will start it tonight and hopefully DW will be there to make sure I stay on em this time...


 
hey sweetie, this is meant in the kindest way. take your own meds. you know u need to do what dr. says. take charge of your life and you will be surprised how much better you will feel.

babe


----------



## expatgirl

a friend of mine who had 3 miscarriages told me what it was like to be on antidepressants:  your lows aren't so low but your highs aren't so high either...she had to be on them for 6 months.......she then went into early menopause at the ripe old age of 37......so it was not meant to be.......she probably could never have carried a baby to full term no matter what and thank goodness that she was able to have the boy and girl that she did who are my godchildren and doing wonderfully in their adult lives....gave their parents gray hairs but what teen doesn't these days?  So, I guess antid. are designed not to make the lows so low and the highs not so high


----------



## Mama

I am so sick of hot flashes!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## suziquzie

That does NOT sound like fun during a Georgia summer Mama!!!!


----------



## LPBeier

Mama said:


> I am so sick of hot flashes!!!!!!!!!!


 
Mama, I thought I was over my hot flashes a year ago and they just started up again a few months ago.  I coudn't figure it out because my hormone gel wasn't helping and it just didn't make sense that I was having them.

Then I was visiting my terminally ill friend who is only 33 years old.  We were talking about our constant pain and she out of the blue asked if I get hot flashes.  I said yes and she said that her doctor told her that it is a body reaction to the the pain.  The body does not know what to do with this intense constant symptom so it treats it like an infection and heats up.  

At least I know why they are back, but on top of the intense pain it doesn't make me feel any better.


----------



## In the Kitchen

Maverick2272 said:


> I am kinda in the same place In The Kitchen is, emotions are deadened and I can't really feel anything right now. Woke up late, did manage to get to the laundry mat to get some clothes done for the kids as they were out of clean clothes. Now I am back home and should start supper but haven't.... I am just tired and don't feel like doing much except sleeping or laying down.
> I know it is because my sugar is high, and I am in a depressed cycle, so my mood is all over the place. One minute high as a kite, the next curled up in a ball wanting to die. I was supposed to get my meds in order again to start taking them, DW made sure I got em this morning, but I am not taking the Cymbalta at the moment and I really should be. Funny thing is when I am on it I don't think it is working, but when I go off it I suddenly realize it was. I can take it at night so I will start it tonight and hopefully DW will be there to make sure I stay on em this time...



This is just terrible and no one is responsible except your mind and body! I had to take my brother to ER room four times and they couldn't find out what was wrong until one of the doc's on duty suggested he go to mental ward to be watched.  That night I visited him, he told me he hoped he wouldn't see the sun shine tomorrow and that I shouldn't come back again.  Talk about experience.  They took my purse and checked to make sure nothing in pockets, sign in and out.  Really lesson I hope no one has to go through for me.  After medication prescription, he sure changed.  Acts normal again and here it was his mind the whole time.  

Last night I drank some wine and was afraid to take the pills.  Says not to take any alcohol with meds.  YOu think they include wine.  I love wine, relaxes me.  What upsets me is I am wearing capri pants now and they show my legs which are surrounded with varicose veins.  People in the public do not look at me they stare at my legs!  Not glance, stare until they pass me.  Who wouldn't get depressed when they do that.  I can't wear long dress everyday too hot.  One woman asked if I had tattoo on my leg!  I could have tore her hair out.  People so dumb, appreciate my dogs all the more.  I look at people but not look for flaws.  I know my friend got upset that I don't notice when they lose weight.  that isn't important to me.  Mom raised us to consider inner rather than outer person.  

Sorry if I changed this thread again.  Guess I better drink some more wine to make me feel okay.  I asked doctor if wine is good for you and he said yes but didn't say anything about taking medicine with it.  

Sorry Mav hope you know we are in t he same boat.  When you get tired of paddlin' I'll be glad to take over.


----------



## LPBeier

In The Kitchen, PLEASE DO NOT mix anti-depressants with alcohol of any kind, specially not wine (red in particular for some reason)!!!!!

The pills are designed to bring you up and alcohol is a depressant. You will feel good for about 15 minutes and then plummet into a worse depression.

I am talking from much experience here and only want the best for you!!!!!!


----------



## luvs

yes, pleas don't mix, inthe kitchen. very dangerous. mixing can supress respiration.
i love my wine too, though i won't mix, i make a choice & weigh my options.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Help*

You mean if I am taking these pills, I have to stop drinking the wine completely?  I drink when I am fixing the meals as it tends to make me feel better about the cooking.  I normally t ake the depression pills after supper.  Can I drink the wine before supper?


----------



## luvs

i can't answer that; i'd ask your doc.


----------



## Barbara L

The pills don't just work right after you take them.  They build up in your system.  Whenever you ask your doctor if something is safe, make sure you mention all the medications (prescription and OTC) that you are taking.  

It will not replace your doctor's advice, but I found the site Drugs.com | Prescription Drugs - Information, Interactions & Side Effects to be a really good place to check out drug interactions.  They show interactions with other medications, herbal remedies, and foods.  From what I understand, a lot of doctors use the site.  I was considering trying a couple herbal remedies and found out one of them had terrible reactions (including death) to almost everything, including dairy products.  

Barbara


----------



## In the Kitchen

thanks luvs!  appreciate your quick response.  I can't ask on the phone have to wait till appointment 06/26.  Doctor always tells me to ask questions at appointment.  Until then guess it is okay to drink before rather than after the pill


----------



## luvs

you're welcome!
well, get to that appointment!


----------



## Barbara L

In the Kitchen said:


> thanks luvs! appreciate your quick response. I can't ask on the phone have to wait till appointment 06/26. Doctor always tells me to ask questions at appointment. Until then guess it is okay to drink before rather than after the pill


Why can't you ask on the phone?  Don't just assume it is safe to take the pill after the wine!  If your doctor won't answer questions on the phone you need to do two things.  Ask your pharmacist the questions you have about drug interaction, and get another doctor!  I just want you to be safe!  Also, check out the website I mentioned above, but please ask someone now.

Barbara


----------



## LPBeier

ITK, please check your PM.


----------



## luvs

my personal nurse is switching jobs & now i've got a new nurse. i was so attached to her.


----------



## In the Kitchen

Thanks to all of you for your concern and advice.  Since I have been more or less  trying to adjust  to being on my own without the abuse of my ex life is not easy.  No sympathy necessary just facts.  This world does not allow for people who say they have rotten life.  I did call the pharmacy as you all have suggested and the pharmacist told me red wine is okay as long as I don't drink with the medication.  I told her the name amitriptyline 75mg so maybe it isn't considered one of the strong ones.  I only know it makes me sleepy and will ask the doctor when I visit.  I do call him on urgent things but he calls back after 6-7 or maybe next day, never know for sure when he calls.  Sometimes I miss him completely and t hen next day same thing over again.  Other doctor I had who has passed away would call around 5 t he same day.  I just wonder about the training these new doctors have.  Not the same like they used to be.  

Thanks for your concern.  Please accept the apology for troubling you as you all have your own more heavy burdens.  As my son has said in the past, 'don't jerk people around with your trouble, why not find a solution'  sounds cold but his father was worse.  I can't fault the children for the condition of the family they grow up in.  My own father was exactly like my ex husband.


----------



## LPBeier

In the Kitchen said:


> Thanks for your concern. Please accept the apology for troubling you as you all have your own more heavy burdens. As my son has said in the past, 'don't jerk people around with your trouble, why not find a solution' sounds cold but his father was worse. I can't fault the children for the condition of the family they grow up in. My own father was exactly like my ex husband.


 
First of all (and while I can only speak for myself, but I am sure others here would feel the same), no apology is necessary.  One thing I have found about this place is that we are all here for each other.  I have vented many times and everyone has been very supportive...this is your turn.  And sometimes it is nice to think of other's troubles than to be wallowing in your own.

Second, I understand about abusive husbands.  My first husband was one of the worst and it still took me a long time to get out from under his control.  Yes, it does take a lot of getting used to being without that constant torment.  But you did it and you are now taking medication to help you through the depression and one day you won't recognize yourself or your life.  You will be a new person, free from all those chains.

So, sip your glass of red wine (a good distance from pill time) and make a toast to your new life to be!


----------



## Maverick2272

Last time I took anti-depressants (Welbutrin) with alcohol I had a psychotic episode and tried to lop off my hand with a hedge trimmer... I don't recommend mixing the two.

As for stays in the PS, very familiar with that and so is DW. The thing about DW helping to take the pills, and this comes from the nurses and doctors as well and is something I think those without depression have a hard time understanding, is that when you are depressed you don't want or care to take your meds.
When you are in a psych ward, they don't leave it up to the patent to take their meds, they feed them to you on time and on a regular schedule. The same remains true at home they want and need the spouse or a close relative to stay on top of it and make sure the patient takes their meds.
Once I come out of the depression, taking my meds on my own is no problem, but anytime I slump she needs to be there to 'pick up the slack' so to speak. It is not like I want it to be this way, but this is the way it goes.

I know on my side if the roles were reversed, and they have been, I would be there to make sure it got done for her.


----------



## In the Kitchen

LPBeier said:


> First of all (and while I can only speak for myself, but I am sure others here would feel the same), no apology is necessary.  One thing I have found about this place is that we are all here for each other.  I have vented many times and everyone has been very supportive...this is your turn.  And sometimes it is nice to think of other's troubles than to be wallowing in your own.
> 
> Second, I understand about abusive husbands.  My first husband was one of the worst and it still took me a long time to get out from under his control.  Yes, it does take a lot of getting used to being without that constant torment.  But you did it and you are now taking medication to help you through the depression and one day you won't recognize yourself or your life.  You will be a new person, free from all those chains.
> 
> So, sip your glass of red wine (a good distance from pill time) and make a toast to your new life to be!



Sounds like you could t ell me 'been there, done that'.  It just seems like when you have abusive situation you tend to feel everyone is against you.  I have found some people in the grocery stores who seem to be so caring.  I find that here too, people have been hurt.  I cannot bring myself to go to church because they seem to not be helping with pain people have.  I rather stay home, read the bible, and lis ten faithfully to radio.  I don't have clue where these people are preaching but I find strength in messages they have.  I do know my neighbors frown about this fact as t hey hear the radio when I have the windows open but one thing they cannot deny me that freedom to listen to what I want.  May be good for them to hear too.  

Thank you all again for your concern.  Sure means a lot to me when the one person you cared about calls you 'worthless'.  A therapist told me after the divorce that the reason he wants to come back is he misses his hitting post.  What a comment.  Did t hat  hurt!


----------



## babetoo

Maverick2272 said:


> Last time I took anti-depressants (Welbutrin) with alcohol I had a psychotic episode and tried to lop off my hand with a hedge trimmer... I don't recommend mixing the two.
> 
> As for stays in the PS, very familiar with that and so is DW. The thing about DW helping to take the pills, and this comes from the nurses and doctors as well and is something I think those without depression have a hard time understanding, is that when you are depressed you don't want or care to take your meds.
> When you are in a psych ward, they don't leave it up to the patent to take their meds, they feed them to you on time and on a regular schedule. The same remains true at home they want and need the spouse or a close relative to stay on top of it and make sure the patient takes their meds.
> Once I come out of the depression, taking my meds on my own is no problem, but anytime I slump she needs to be there to 'pick up the slack' so to speak. It is not like I want it to be this way, but this is the way it goes.
> 
> I know on my side if the roles were reversed, and they have been, I would be there to make sure it got done for her.


 
maverick,

i was afraid i hurt your feelings, if so please forgive me. i spent three years in a deep depression, following the murder of my husband. ptsdwas the diagnose. i was given many pills, some worked better than others. i always took them by myself. now i still suffer from the ptsd, but it is blunted somewhat by meds. they took three years to find a combo that worked. i also had a ton of counseling. 

i really do think that if we own our life, we can do many things to help ourselves. one of the reasons for the nurses and drs. to see you take those meds, are fear of being sued if they gave you that responsibility in hospital.

if your way works for you, then you have every right to do it that way. 


i still feel that you would feel less helpless.  depression is an awful thing to have, isn't it.

in friendship

babe


----------



## LPBeier

Maverick2272 said:


> Last time I took anti-depressants (Welbutrin) with alcohol I had a psychotic episode and tried to lop off my hand with a hedge trimmer... I don't recommend mixing the two.
> 
> As for stays in the PS, very familiar with that and so is DW. The thing about DW helping to take the pills, and this comes from the nurses and doctors as well and is something I think those without depression have a hard time understanding, is that when you are depressed you don't want or care to take your meds.
> When you are in a psych ward, they don't leave it up to the patent to take their meds, they feed them to you on time and on a regular schedule. The same remains true at home they want and need the spouse or a close relative to stay on top of it and make sure the patient takes their meds.
> Once I come out of the depression, taking my meds on my own is no problem, but anytime I slump she needs to be there to 'pick up the slack' so to speak. It is not like I want it to be this way, but this is the way it goes.
> 
> I know on my side if the roles were reversed, and they have been, I would be there to make sure it got done for her.


 
Buddy, I couldn't have said any of this better than you.  It seems you and I have so much medical  history in common it is almost spooky.


----------



## Maverick2272

babetoo said:


> maverick,
> 
> i was afraid i hurt your feelings, if so please forgive me. i spent three years in a deep depression, following the murder of my husband. ptsdwas the diagnose. i was given many pills, some worked better than others. i always took them by myself. now i still suffer from the ptsd, but it is blunted somewhat by meds. they took three years to find a combo that worked. i also had a ton of counseling.
> 
> i really do think that if we own our life, we can do many things to help ourselves. one of the reasons for the nurses and drs. to see you take those meds, are fear of being sued if they gave you that responsibility in hospital.
> 
> if your way works for you, then you have every right to do it that way.
> 
> 
> i still feel that you would feel less helpless.  depression is an awful thing to have, isn't it.
> 
> in friendship
> 
> babe



I took no offense at all Babe, and I totally agree with you, I am just not there yet myself which sometimes is the hardest thing to admit. I am sure, though, that if I keep at it and don't give up again, I can get where you are, too.
Struggling thru it and owning it as you have serves as an inspiration, I am glad you posted.


----------



## Barbara L

ITK, I'm glad you called the pharmacist.  And please don't apologize for sharing your concerns.  If we didn't care we would just read what you wrote and go on our merry way.  We do care.  Don't ever hesitate to ask for help when you need it.  Sometimes that _*is*_ the way to the solution.  As far as your church goes, have you considered trying another one?  I quit going to one that was right next door to me because the pastor started teaching things that were not scriptural (I learned after I moved away that he was also having extra-marital affairs and was kicked out of that church), and I started driving 12 miles to a new one that was the right fit.  

Enjoy your glass of wine, and don't forget to take your pill later.  

Barbara


----------



## Barbara L

Hey, the movie Pollyanna is on this Saturday on the Hallmark Channel. I think we all may need a dose of that right now!  

James called (he's on his way home and then I will go to school tomorrow with him) and I just started bawling my head off. He was worried about what he said to cause it, but I didn't really know what it was. After we hung up I realized it is because I have sat and done nothing yet another day as the house is falling apart around me (starting to cry again, sheesh). He called back to see if I wanted KFC because I have been hurting off and on for a few days, especially today, and when I am hurting mashed potatoes and gravy are what I need. He asked what he had said to upset me. Sometimes I almost wish he _would_ get mad at me, to light a fire under me. Notice I said almost. lol

Well, my DVR is set to record Pollyanna Saturday! I think I do need a booster shot! (I told you that I am usually a regular Pollyanna myself).

Barbara
P.S. Buddy, you'd better not watch it. It will shoot your sugar levels up sky high!


----------



## LPBeier

Okay, I took on a really simple job today - a two layer round shower cake.....and the bride's grandmother (my client) even baked the cake, plus I had tons of frosting left over from DD's wedding cake on Tuesday.  Simple eh?  Make a berry filling, frost and decorate.

The cake went together perfectly up until I started decorating.  The frosting was too fluffy so I thickened it.  I tinted the first batch red and did all the borders...no problem.  Then I tinted the next batch green for the writing but it was too thick for the tiny writing tip.  I had to redo the top of the cake 3 times because I had the icing too thick or too thin.  Finally I tinted some piping gel instead and it was going fine...until the tip came off and blasted the cake with gel.  Cleaned that up, redid it again, no problem.  Tried to do some scroll designs in green but it was too thin and looked awful so I got rid of that.  I made little red flowers with green leaves and stems and a few hearts out of gel.  As I was putting the complete cake in the fridge I stuck my finger into the side of it.

Okay, cake is done, client has come, paid, taken it and gone.  Now the clean up.  I am doing really great and am throwing the used piping bags away into the too full garbage can and push down hard....my thumb hits a can lid that I don't see and I get a nasty cut that won't stop bleeding.  I fix that up and go on cleaning.  I put the excess frostings and filling in containers and drop the filling one on the floor busting it wide open.  Sticky filling all over the place.  Clean that up and finish filling the dishwasher. Turn that on only to find border in the shower so have to turn it off again.

Have changed bandage three times and my right hip has bee acting up all day - realize when taking afternoon meds that I took them in the morning so didn't get full doses.  So, took morning pills but too late for the anti-inflamatory to kick in.

So, called DH to say he is picking up chicken and fixings for dinner as I am now laying on the bed barely able to type this.

Note to self - never take on those "simple two hour" jobs!!!!!!


----------



## Barbara L

Looks like take-out chicken and fixings is the meal of choice for women who are hurting and ready to crawl in a hole and pull the hole in after!

Take care of that finger!  I'm sorry you had such a time with that cake.  Sounds like it was just "one of those days!"  

Barbara


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks, Barbara!  Yeah, I just needed that little pity party and I am better now....though I am still holding out for the chicken!!!!!


----------



## Maverick2272

LPBeier said:


> Okay, I took on a really simple job today - a two layer round shower cake.....and the bride's grandmother (my client) even baked the cake, plus I had tons of frosting left over from DD's wedding cake on Tuesday.  Simple eh?  Make a berry filling, frost and decorate.
> 
> The cake went together perfectly up until I started decorating.  The frosting was too fluffy so I thickened it.  I tinted the first batch red and did all the borders...no problem.  Then I tinted the next batch green for the writing but it was too thick for the tiny writing tip.  I had to redo the top of the cake 3 times because I had the icing too thick or too thin.  Finally I tinted some piping gel instead and it was going fine...until the tip came off and blasted the cake with gel.  Cleaned that up, redid it again, no problem.  Tried to do some scroll designs in green but it was too thin and looked awful so I got rid of that.  I made little red flowers with green leaves and stems and a few hearts out of gel.  As I was putting the complete cake in the fridge I stuck my finger into the side of it.
> 
> Okay, cake is done, client has come, paid, taken it and gone.  Now the clean up.  I am doing really great and am throwing the used piping bags away into the too full garbage can and push down hard....my thumb hits a can lid that I don't see and I get a nasty cut that won't stop bleeding.  I fix that up and go on cleaning.  I put the excess frostings and filling in containers and drop the filling one on the floor busting it wide open.  Sticky filling all over the place.  Clean that up and finish filling the dishwasher. Turn that on only to find border in the shower so have to turn it off again.
> 
> Have changed bandage three times and my right hip has bee acting up all day - realize when taking afternoon meds that I took them in the morning so didn't get full doses.  So, took morning pills but too late for the anti-inflamatory to kick in.
> 
> So, called DH to say he is picking up chicken and fixings for dinner as I am now laying on the bed barely able to type this.
> 
> Note to self - never take on those "simple two hour" jobs!!!!!!



You know, I am still amazed you can do as much as you do everyday, and making cakes as well!! Take a night off, you deserve it! Just chill out, watch some TV and cruise DC.
Oh, and have a glass of wine or some ice cream for me


----------



## LPBeier

Maverick2272 said:


> You know, I am still amazed you can do as much as you do everyday, and making cakes as well!! Take a night off, you deserve it! Just chill out, watch some TV and cruise DC.
> Oh, and have a glass of wine or some ice cream for me


 
Thanks, Mav!  It will be ice cream 'cause I don't do wine with my meds and I think I have had my "whine" for the day!


----------



## Barbara L

My day just continues with my chicken dinner.  I looked in the bag and the gravy containers were kind of crooked in the bag.  I took one out, and there is gravy all over the sides.  Then I picked up one of the containers of potatoes and they all fell right out of the bottom of the container, into the bag.  Fortunately James had already told me that I could have his potatoes for later.  I wonder if they will stay in their container.  

Barbara


----------



## babetoo

LPBeier said:


> Okay, I took on a really simple job today - a two layer round shower cake.....and the bride's grandmother (my client) even baked the cake, plus I had tons of frosting left over from DD's wedding cake on Tuesday.  Simple eh?  Make a berry filling, frost and decorate.
> 
> The cake went together perfectly up until I started decorating.  The frosting was too fluffy so I thickened it.  I tinted the first batch red and did all the borders...no problem.  Then I tinted the next batch green for the writing but it was too thick for the tiny writing tip.  I had to redo the top of the cake 3 times because I had the icing too thick or too thin.  Finally I tinted some piping gel instead and it was going fine...until the tip came off and blasted the cake with gel.  Cleaned that up, redid it again, no problem.  Tried to do some scroll designs in green but it was too thin and looked awful so I got rid of that.  I made little red flowers with green leaves and stems and a few hearts out of gel.  As I was putting the complete cake in the fridge I stuck my finger into the side of it.
> 
> Okay, cake is done, client has come, paid, taken it and gone.  Now the clean up.  I am doing really great and am throwing the used piping bags away into the too full garbage can and push down hard....my thumb hits a can lid that I don't see and I get a nasty cut that won't stop bleeding.  I fix that up and go on cleaning.  I put the excess frostings and filling in containers and drop the filling one on the floor busting it wide open.  Sticky filling all over the place.  Clean that up and finish filling the dishwasher. Turn that on only to find border in the shower so have to turn it off again.
> 
> Have changed bandage three times and my right hip has bee acting up all day - realize when taking afternoon meds that I took them in the morning so didn't get full doses.  So, took morning pills but too late for the anti-inflamatory to kick in.
> 
> So, called DH to say he is picking up chicken and fixings for dinner as I am now laying on the bed barely able to type this.
> 
> Note to self - never take on those "simple two hour" jobs!!!!!!


 
my lord, crawl in bed and cover your head. the stars are definitely not lined up for you today. babe


----------



## LPBeier

Barbara L said:


> My day just continues with my chicken dinner. I looked in the bag and the gravy containers were kind of crooked in the bag. I took one out, and there is gravy all over the sides. Then I picked up one of the containers of potatoes and they all fell right out of the bottom of the container, into the bag. Fortunately James had already told me that I could have his potatoes for later. I wonder if they will stay in their container.
> 
> Barbara


 
Barbara, my chicken dinner fared okay.  Only thing is DH got enough food for two armies!  Oh well, when the kids get home from work they will be hungry and I can put it in lunches tomorrow so I don't have to make sandwiches.

BTW,  I will share a hole with you and a bucket of KFC any day!  We can comiserate over our aches, pains, etc. while we munch!


----------



## Maverick2272

oh oh oh oh oh me me me me I want extra crispy!! But since you don't have mac and cheese or green beans in the great white north I will have to bring those along!


----------



## Barbara L

LPBeier said:


> Barbara, my chicken dinner fared okay. Only thing is DH got enough food for two armies! Oh well, when the kids get home from work they will be hungry and I can put it in lunches tomorrow so I don't have to make sandwiches.
> 
> BTW, I will share a hole with you and a bucket of KFC any day! We can comiserate over our aches, pains, etc. while we munch!


Sounds good!  

It turned out the second thing of potatoes was missing the bottom also, but I managed to get them out and onto a plate.  I think James smashed some groceries against the bag.  So far that is all I have eaten.  I'm hurting a little and need to take some Tylenol.  Thank goodness the pain isn't too bad because I am out of Hydrocodone.  Tylenol and a hot bath has been taking care of it so far this week.

Barbara


----------



## Barbara L

Here's something interesting (to me anyway) that goes along with what I wrote a few days ago.  I have strongly suspected for a few years that I have adult ADD or ADHD.  I took a test online a few years ago and I had most of the signs.  I found another one today.  It is a shorter version of one that is supposedly used by doctors.  It said that 11 or more points is consistant with adult ADD/ADHD.  I scored 16.  Also, in the book about organization for "messies" it says that depression (which I am sure I have had for a little while--mild) often goes hand-in-hand with ADD/ADHD.  I am going to print up all my results and copy that section of the book and send them to my doctor before we go, so she has time to look it all over.  I think she thought I wasn't really concerned (maybe because I didn't act concerned? lol) so she just made a little notation and kind of let it go.  I read something else as I did my research.  James (who was diagnosed as a kid with ADHD) and I have a bad habit of interrupting each other.  We are worried we will forget what we want to say if we don't say it right then (and usually do).  Interrupting is one of the signs of ADD/ADHD.  Very interesting.  

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

hey, I know that i have adult Add and my son does, too......luckily for us we're able to compensate for it.......I can't take verbal instructions.........I need to write it down.......not a big deal........son is a cop and is coping quite well, too................the fact that he is able to move around is a big advantage in itself...you do adust.....it's not a big deal........at least for us


----------



## luvs

we're going downtown, jake won't accept that parking is absurd. there's an arts festival & he expects to park at a garage. i wanted to bus my way there; maybe i will to avoid his yelling when he can't park.
i'm stressed.


----------



## Barbara L

luvs said:


> we're going downtown, jake won't accept that parking is absurd. there's an arts festival & he expects to park at a garage. i wanted to bus my way there; maybe i will to avoid his yelling when he can't park.
> i'm stressed.


If it was tonight, this is too late, but you could compromise.  Drive near the vacinity, parking near a bus line, then take the bus the rest of the way.  That way you avoid a long bus ride and parking hassles.

Barbara


----------



## Barbara L

expatgirl said:


> hey, I know that i have adult Add and my son does, too......luckily for us we're able to compensate for it.......I can't take verbal instructions.........I need to write it down.......not a big deal........son is a cop and is coping quite well, too................the fact that he is able to move around is a big advantage in itself...you do adust.....it's not a big deal........at least for us


Interesting, I also cannot take verbal instructions.  I always thought I would remember, but then I didn't.  I remember once when my mom sent me to the store to buy something.  The store was just a few blocks from us (I was around 12 or 13).  By the time I got there I couldn't remember what I was supposed to buy, and I think it was only one or two things!  

Normally I can function okay with this, but I think it is working together with depression, making it worse.  I am doing much better than I was several months ago though.  And reading the book I am reading (the one about "messies"--I had put it down for a few weeks but am now reading it again) has helped a lot because I am seeing that there are a lot of people in the same place I am when it comes to cleaning the house, organizing, and getting things done.  Or rather, not cleaning the house, not getting organized, and not getting things done.

Barbara


----------



## LPBeier

Barbara, I am glad your book is helping you.  When it comes to my kitchen and my business I have to have things spotless and will not settle for less.  But when it comes to everything else I am a hopeless messy.  When I realized and accepted this and was able to accept help from a friend (I actually paid her to organize me because she is OCD and is an incredible organizer) things started to get better.  She taught me tricks to keeping things under control when I couldn't.  I hope your book helps you....it is cheaper!!!!


----------



## Barbara L

The moral of the story must be that messies need to have OCD friends! My OCD friend (my best bud!) helped me with some organizing and cleaning a couple years ago. Unfortunately we have so litte storage here that it was't long before it started again (not to mention my husband is a messie too). I am confident that things will get better.

My vent for today is, STUPID KIDNEY STONES!!!!!!!!! I figured if I yelled at them they might take the hint. I had been having fairly mild kidney stone pain throughout the week. Tylenol and hot baths were enough to ease the pain. I knew what was coming though, and I prayed it wouldn't happen. Thank goodness that for the most part the really bad pain didn't hit earlier yesterday or it could have been really horrible. (I had a couple very sharp stabbing pains on the way to Columbia in the morning). Yesterday was James's last official day of school (they can go next week to finish any projects, and James will go). For his last day they allowed me to go with him. I was only allowed to stay in class until their break time, then I had to go to a lounge area. I enjoyed meeting his teacher and his fellow trainees. In the lounge area I checked my email and DC on my laptop, and I read a little. They let me eat lunch in the cafeteria with James, then since all but two other students were gone, I went back to James's class with him. He worked on his class project, and I worked on my laptop. That was when the pain started to get bad. I was able to hide it pretty well until the two others left, but then it started to get unbearable. James wrapped things up as quickly as he could and we went back to his dorm room. While he changed clothes I lay in his bed crying, moaing, and groaning. In the car I tilted my seat at an angle that was the least uncomfortable, turned on the seat warmer, and I finally started to feel better and was able to fall asleep (I hadn't been able to sleep the night before, so I needed it anyway). The seat warmer and nap helped a lot and I felt much better the rest of the day. (Edited to add, make that the seat warmer, nap, and 3 extra strength Tylenols helped! LOL).

I had hoped (though did not expect) to be pain free today. No such luck, but it seems to be easing again now. 

Barbara


----------



## LPBeier

Barbara, I can't believe how our lives seem to be parallel.  ADD/OCD friends/pain/KFC/and that awful kidney pain!!  I don't have it now but have on many occasions and it ain't fun.  Will be praying for you big time!


----------



## Barbara L

Thank you Laurie!  Hey, we're going to have to meet someday!

Barbara


----------



## babetoo

venting about the weather. we have way to much of it. 104 here now. another record breakers. 

am sick of heat.keeps me from baking or doing much of anything. i have air conditioner on . and fans everywhere. it is still to hot in house. 

did not cool off much last night. more of the same tomorrow.

sure glad i am not at the fair. all that cement and heat. would make me sick. 

very low humidity, creating a severe fire hazard. we have been here before with a very bad scene. 

send some cooler weather , ok?

babe


----------



## LPBeier

Barbara L said:


> Thank you Laurie! Hey, we're going to have to meet someday!
> 
> Barbara


 
I would really like that!


----------



## love2"Q"

After a horrible week at work .. 14 hours a day for most of them ..
fixing other peoples mistakes .. my a/c decided to stop working 
today .. and my HVAC guy .. that i can get to fix for pretty much 
nothing .. is out of town till monday .. ahhhhh perfect ..


----------



## babetoo

love2"Q" said:


> After a horrible week at work .. 14 hours a day for most of them ..
> fixing other peoples mistakes .. my a/c decided to stop working
> today .. and my HVAC guy .. that i can get to fix for pretty much
> nothing .. is out of town till monday .. ahhhhh perfect ..


 

so sorry to hear that. makes u miserable i know. last heat wave here, the power was off for two days. i was so hot, was ready to kill.

does it cool off there at night? we are in middle of another heat wave. 97 now at 7pm. super glad air is working. 

hope it is not too bad for you.

babe


----------



## love2"Q"

actually babe .. its not as hot as it could be ...
went out and got a couple window units ..
problem is .. just now able to open the windows because
of wild fires ..
resisting the temptation to call a HVAC company in ..


----------



## babetoo

love2"Q" said:


> actually babe .. its not as hot as it could be ...
> went out and got a couple window units ..
> problem is .. just now able to open the windows because
> of wild fires ..
> resisting the temptation to call a HVAC company in ..


 
oh my gosh wild fires are so scary. we had big time fires last year. holding our breath this time. 

haven't seen the news today, so didn't know about fires in va. or here for that matter. 

babe


----------



## jpmcgrew

One thing that may give some relief is to wet a shirt put it on and blow a regular bladed fan on yourself.


----------



## jpmcgrew

We also have a couple of wild fires here at the ranch the smoke can get thick but not so bad right now. Starting to get a bit of rain here and there. I hope we get a good monsoon season which usually starts the beginning of July. We are so parched right now


----------



## love2"Q"

jpmcgrew said:


> One thing that may give some relief is to wet a shirt put it on and blow a regular bladed fan on yourself.




no one wants to see that ...


----------



## Dina

Barbara and LP.  You both are like sisters!  I hope you start feeling better Barb.

My vent today is that hubby's 8 year old car broke down.  Argh!  I was home all day waiting on him to bring back our other car so I could go run my errands.  Not to mention I need a car to take the kids to dance and MMA classes all week long.  It's frustrating having just one car to move around.  Thankfully, a friend's husband will be coming by to check on the car.  If we can get it working again, we will all be in happier spirits.


----------



## Barbara L

Dina said:


> Barbara and LP. You both are like sisters! I hope you start feeling better Barb.
> 
> My vent today is that hubby's 8 year old car broke down. Argh! I was home all day waiting on him to bring back our other car so I could go run my errands. Not to mention I need a car to take the kids to dance and MMA classes all week long. It's frustrating having just one car to move around. Thankfully, a friend's husband will be coming by to check on the car. If we can get it working again, we will all be in happier spirits.


Yeah! I could have two Canadian sisters!

I hope your car troubles are taken care of soon Dina. I know how frustrating that can be. I don't have kids in the house (my daughter is grown), but last year I had to have people take Cubbie and me to PetSmart (about 20 miles from here) one day a week for a few weeks for his obedience training. One time poor Cubbie had to sit on the floor in front of me. He wasn't full grown, but a 7-8 month old German Shepherd still isn't small!

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

Hey, Girlfriend,  get yourself one of those big microwaveable heat wraps and wrap that baby around yourself......3 minutes in the micro and you're good to go......they have nice velco self-adhesive wraps and release at least and hour's worth of wonderful heat.......better that a boyfriend......I am here to testify......


----------



## LPBeier

Yeah, I agree with Expat that the microwave heat bags are great but a loving man is even better!  Seriously, locallized heat and/or light massage does wonders.  Barbara, I hope you are finding some relief.  And I will be your Canadian sister any time!

I spent yesterday afternoon at the hospital with DD again and still no definitive answers.  All it did was bring on more pain for both of us.  I was so bad when I got home that I ate and went straight to bed....forgetting to make our border's lunch and coffee.  I am getting tired of this pain taking over and no one doing anything about it!


----------



## expatgirl

I'm so sorry LP.......here's a Girlfriend's big hug which is better than any man's cause we mean it


----------



## kadesma

LPBeier said:


> Yeah, I agree with Expat that the microwave heat bags are great but a loving man is even better!  Seriously, locallized heat and/or light massage does wonders.  Barbara, I hope you are finding some relief.  And I will be your Canadian sister any time!
> 
> I spent yesterday afternoon at the hospital with DD again and still no definitive answers.  All it did was bring on more pain for both of us.  I was so bad when I got home that I ate and went straight to bed....forgetting to make our border's lunch and coffee.  I am getting tired of this pain taking over and no one doing anything about it!


Laurie,
don't be so hard on yourself. DD will be fine, I know she has had a hard time, but so have YOU.Your border  won't starve and things will get done..Just slow down, take your time and take care of you...
You need answers and then some help..I'm hoping this happens soon.
kades


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks Expat, I needed that.  I think I was having a pretty extravagant pitty party over my pain, my kids' pain, my mistakes, etc.  It is just getting to be too much to bear.  I am so glad I have my DC family.


----------



## LPBeier

kadesma said:


> Laurie,
> don't be so hard on yourself. DD will be fine, I know she has had a hard time, but so have YOU.Your border won't starve and things will get done..Just slow down, take your time and take care of you...
> You need answers and then some help..I'm hoping this happens soon.
> kades


 
Thanks Kades,
You always know what to say. You are right, I just need answers for me and DD. Now that she is living back home I have such a hard time seeing her in such pain and then at the same time I have to deal with my own.  I will PM you later.

I will survive, I know. I would just like to start seeing that light at the end of the tunnel.


----------



## homecook

I know I haven't been on here for too long and this really isn't so much a vent as a hurt. My beloved grandmother passed away last Monday and it hurts like the dickens. She was 99 years old and 7 months. She always said she was going to live to be 100. I know she was ready to go, everything was starting to shut down. She was my "cooking mentor". She and my mother shared a room in an assisted living facility. It's been really hard trying to grieve and try to help my mother through this, she has dementia, which is another story. I just miss her so much. I do have all her cookbooks and hand-written recipes that she passed to me which is a comfort to read through them. I'm just really hurting right now. 

Barb


----------



## sattie

Sorry to hear that homecook.


----------



## sattie

*Anyone Need a Crusty Old Dog?*

I got an old crusty dog that needs a home if he does not stop peeing everywhere!!!!

Seriously, I would not give him up for the world.  But twice last night, he just stands and starts peeing, no warning.  Then sometimes he walks as he pees..... DRIVES ME NUTS!!!!!  The steam cleaner got a work out yesterday!


----------



## suziquzie

I am so tired of toys EVERYWHERE and trippping over them. 
I am even more tired of chasing everyone around CONSTANTLY saying "PICK UP YOUR TOYS PLEASE!"


----------



## LPBeier

sattie said:


> I got an old crusty dog that needs a home if he does not stop peeing everywhere!!!!
> 
> Seriously, I would not give him up for the world. But twice last night, he just stands and starts peeing, no warning. Then sometimes he walks as he pees..... DRIVES ME NUTS!!!!! The steam cleaner got a work out yesterday!


 
Sattie, I think what you need is a trip to the vet.  I know they are costly but even phone them for advice.  It could be age or an illness, but incontinance in dogs should not be taken litely.  If I didn't have two of my own and wasn't so far away, I would definitely take him.  Is he the one on your avatar?  You should join our "fur babies" group.


----------



## LadyCook61

homecook said:


> I know I haven't been on here for too long and this really isn't so much a vent as a hurt. My beloved grandmother passed away last Monday and it hurts like the dickens. She was 99 years old and 7 months. She always said she was going to live to be 100. I know she was ready to go, everything was starting to shut down. She was my "cooking mentor". She and my mother shared a room in an assisted living facility. It's been really hard trying to grieve and try to help my mother through this, she has dementia, which is another story. I just miss her so much. I do have all her cookbooks and hand-written recipes that she passed to me which is a comfort to read through them. I'm just really hurting right now.
> 
> Barb


 
I'm sorry for your loss , homecook..
LadyCook


----------



## LadyCook61

sattie said:


> I got an old crusty dog that needs a home if he does not stop peeing everywhere!!!!
> 
> Seriously, I would not give him up for the world. But twice last night, he just stands and starts peeing, no warning. Then sometimes he walks as he pees..... DRIVES ME NUTS!!!!! The steam cleaner got a work out yesterday!


 
Call your vet,  dog could have UTI or bladder infection.


----------



## LPBeier

homecook said:


> I know I haven't been on here for too long and this really isn't so much a vent as a hurt. My beloved grandmother passed away last Monday and it hurts like the dickens. She was 99 years old and 7 months. She always said she was going to live to be 100. I know she was ready to go, everything was starting to shut down. She was my "cooking mentor". She and my mother shared a room in an assisted living facility. It's been really hard trying to grieve and try to help my mother through this, she has dementia, which is another story. I just miss her so much. I do have all her cookbooks and hand-written recipes that she passed to me which is a comfort to read through them. I'm just really hurting right now.
> 
> Barb


 
Barb, this thread is for all kinds of "vents" - anger, frustration, and pain....whether it be physical, or emotional.  My heart goes out to you for your loss.  Allow yourself to hurt and grieve.  Yes, you need to be there for your mother, but you mostly need to be there for yourself or you aren't good for anyone else.  Take good care.


----------



## LPBeier

suziquzie said:


> I am so tired of toys EVERYWHERE and trippping over them.
> I am even more tired of chasing everyone around CONSTANTLY saying "PICK UP YOUR TOYS PLEASE!"


 
Suzie, maybe you should try the trick my Mom did to me and my sister when we were young and wouldn't keep our rooms clean.  She would threaten to throw everything away but we wouldn't believe her.  So one day we went into our rooms and anything that was lying about (toys, clothes, my sister's guitar...were gone).  We couldn't believe she had thrown them out but we certainly learned our lesson.  A few days later when our rooms were neat and tidy we came home to all our stuff neatly put away and it stayed that way (well most of the time).

I know your kids are young but while my sister was a teenager when this happened I was only 4 or 5.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Laurie's suggestion works, Suzie. I have done it myself several times throughout the years. I'm different in that I think the kids' rooms are theirs and as long as it's hygienic and would meet health codes, I leave their rooms alone. But the rest of the house is another story. All it takes for me is to get a plastic trash bag and start picking up toys, etc. from around the house and the rugrats get moving! And they are pretty good about picking up after themselves for a few months before I have to get the bag out again.


----------



## suziquzie

yeah i dont care (or try not to) about thier rooms, but the living and dining rooms drive me Batty! 
We've tried the "throwing away" but they know the stuff comes back, and I'm too cheap to actually throw away perfectly good stuff!!!


----------



## kadesma

homecook said:


> I know I haven't been on here for too long and this really isn't so much a vent as a hurt. My beloved grandmother passed away last Monday and it hurts like the dickens. She was 99 years old and 7 months. She always said she was going to live to be 100. I know she was ready to go, everything was starting to shut down. She was my "cooking mentor". She and my mother shared a room in an assisted living facility. It's been really hard trying to grieve and try to help my mother through this, she has dementia, which is another story. I just miss her so much. I do have all her cookbooks and hand-written recipes that she passed to me which is a comfort to read through them. I'm just really hurting right now.
> 
> Barb


Of course your hurting..I lost my mom several years ago and even tho she had the beginnings of dementia, I'd give the world to have her with me for just an hour. Look how long you got to be with your grandma and all you learned from her..Hold it close, the pain will lessen and then you can sit and go through her cookbooks and notes and enjoy what she left for you..Love your mom as always but give yourself a break from it now and then. It can just eat you up if you don't. Take care of you and you can take care of her..Good thoughts coming for all of you.
kadesma


----------



## expatgirl

Gramdma's laps were the best therapy weren't they......glad that I had that kinda medicine and I'm happy to called "MaMa today" these kids today need it------big time.........never knew my mother's parents......still don't know what my genetic inheritance is on that side.....so you get yourself checked out when there is a problem......you don't leave it up to chance........being a grandma is the best in the world...........they so love you no matter what


----------



## Fisher's Mom

suziquzie said:


> yeah i dont care (or try not to) about thier rooms, but the living and dining rooms drive me Batty!
> We've tried the "throwing away" but they know the stuff comes back, and I'm too cheap to actually throw away perfectly good stuff!!!


Me, too. I just took the stuff in bags and put it in the back of the van. Late that night, I hid it in the basement (like I do with Christmas presents). It's true that kids are very, very bright and it may take a while of having some of their favorite stuff gone to make them believers!


----------



## expatgirl

suziquzie said:


> yeah i dont care (or try not to) about thier rooms, but the living and dining rooms drive me Batty!
> We've tried the "throwing away" but they know the stuff comes back, and I'm too cheap to actually throw away perfectly good stuff!!!



Susieq.......can i give you some wear worn advice?......your children are going to grow up before you know it and I'm including your daughter who stuffs toys up her nose.....this kid is a DC bonafide celebrity...........she's famous and doesn't know it............and she's a poster child......they will grow up before you know it and you will be so sad when your house is quiet again or if they get pregnant as in a woopsie and they still grow up.......you will always be saying goodbye no matter what.......enjoy them, and stumble over their toys, clothes, pets, father.......he does configure into some of this  confusion though he's probably clueless.......your house will one day be quiet and you will be wondering at what happened......enjoy them now and take lots of picutres....god only gives them to you for a short while.........enjoy the noise and confusion.......and rant at the invonvenices......you're  Mom for goodness sake...........that's your job..........


----------



## expatgirl

why can I not see my spelling mistakes until after I post????


----------



## suziquzie

thank you expat you made me cry..... 
I love 'em, we are all healthy, I shouldn't whine about toys.


----------



## sattie

*Thanks LPBeier*



LPBeier said:


> Sattie, I think what you need is a trip to the vet. I know they are costly but even phone them for advice. It could be age or an illness, but incontinance in dogs should not be taken litely. If I didn't have two of my own and wasn't so far away, I would definitely take him. Is he the one on your avatar? You should join our "fur babies" group.


 
It is an age thing.  Sometimes he just goes and does not realize it.  I dropped some of his food in his water and he drank all the water to get the food.  So I knew this was coming.  (My fault, but it still pees me off! )  Boots is around 15 or so years old and he is doing good for his age.  The little dude in my avatar is Binks, my 5 year old Chihuahua.  So what is this "fur babies" group you speak of???  How do I join?


----------



## LPBeier

sattie said:


> So what is this "fur babies" group you speak of??? How do I join?


 
Go to the quick links tab at the top of this page and click to lower the menu.  Click on Social groups and then on the "furbabies" group.  You can see who has joined, what we have talked about and our pet pictures.  There will be a button to click if you would like to join.  We would love to have you and anyone else with furry friends!


----------



## texasgirl

Why don't these dummy kids {not kids really, 21+} understand about drinking and driving!! I don't know for sure that is what happened, but, pretty sure. We have bits and pieces right now. Younger ds has 2 friends that were in a one vehicle wreck Satuday. The driver died
He was only 22 years old!! Omg, I can't even imagine what his parents are going through. The other was released from hospital, last night or this morning, not sure on his injuries yet.
I gripe about my kids and their stupidity, but, they are alive and I need to remember that!!!


----------



## Maverick2272

DW, the kids, and I were at the Morton Arboretum this weekend enjoying their large outdoor kids area. It is designed entirely for kids, and staffed by people who spend the day showing the kids stuff and doing arts and crafts with them.
So on our way out, this guy and his wife are walking behind us, and he says, "See now, that is why I don't want kids, they completely change the marraige and take away from us and what we want!"
I turned around and said, "Thank you!"
He said, "For what?"
I said, "Not procreating!".
Grrrrr, if he doesn't like kids what was he doing in the _kids section_??


----------



## expatgirl

yep, we recently had 3 young ladies involved in a horrific crash two weeks ago.......they were trying to outrun another carload of young males ...  it's the current popular sport.....jumped the curb and crashed into a tree and we have tons of trees in this area.....two of them died.....never saw so many flowers and memorials to their memories......nice girls supposedly had no alcohol or drugs in their systems either and all 3 had their seatbelts on........life is a crapshoot.......


----------



## expatgirl

Maverick2272 said:


> DW, the kids, and I were at the Morton Arboretum this weekend enjoying their large outdoor kids area. It is designed entirely for kids, and staffed by people who spend the day showing the kids stuff and doing arts and crafts with them.
> So on our way out, this guy and his wife are walking behind us, and he says, "See now, that is why I don't want kids, they completely change the marraige and take away from us and what we want!"
> I turned around and said, "Thank you!"
> He said, "For what?"
> I said, "Not procreating!".
> Grrrrr, if he doesn't like kids what was he doing in the _kids section_??


  Thank you for not procreating......you do realize you used a 3 syllable word with him.......probably didn't even know how to spell it in the first place......how funny.......


----------



## Maverick2272

There was a study recently done on this, it showed that there is a part of the brain that controls decision making and that it does not fully develop until around age 24 or so.
I am thinking maybe it is time to up some of the age limits and restrict some driving privileges to things like work, school, sponsored events. I know in some states they now restrict the number of teenagers allowed in a vehicle at one time and they say it is working to reducing the number of accidents.
I know a lot of parents will actually fight these kinds of measures arguing you can't restrict their kids rights, but I would rather have my kid here complaining about restrictions then dead with all their so called rights intact!


----------



## expatgirl

well, technically 4 syllables if you want to arm wrestle......but as long as I'm misspelling we'll count wrongly, too.......


----------



## texasgirl

maverick2272 said:


> dw, The Kids, And I Were At The Morton Arboretum This Weekend Enjoying Their Large Outdoor Kids Area. It Is Designed Entirely For Kids, And Staffed By People Who Spend The Day Showing The Kids Stuff And Doing Arts And Crafts With Them.
> So On Our Way Out, This Guy And His Wife Are Walking Behind Us, And He Says, "see Now, That Is Why I Don't Want Kids, They Completely Change The Marraige And Take Away From Us And What We Want!"
> I Turned Around And Said, "thank You!"
> He Said, "for What?"
> I Said, "not Procreating!".
> Grrrrr, If He Doesn't Like Kids What Was He Doing In The _kids Section_??


 
What A Jerk!!!!


----------



## expatgirl

yes, Mav, TX is one of those states that has curtailed the driving law limits law involving minors.....they have increased the age limit and who can be in the car with you.........I still maintain that the number one reason outside of drugs is distraction by friends and switching the radio stations...........


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Maverick2272 said:


> There was a study recently done on this, it showed that there is a part of the brain that controls decision making and that it does not fully develop until around age 24 or so.
> I am thinking maybe it is time to up some of the age limits and restrict some driving privileges to things like work, school, sponsored events. I know in some states they now restrict the number of teenagers allowed in a vehicle at one time and they say it is working to reducing the number of accidents.
> I know a lot of parents will actually fight these kinds of measures arguing you can't restrict their kids rights, but I would rather have my kid here complaining about restrictions then dead with all their so called rights intact!


I had read this too and I know first hand that there is a huge difference in maturity from age 16 to age 24! But we let 16 year old's drive. I've been lucky in that my kids home schooled so it wasn't a problem that I didn't let them drive til they were 18. Partly because we live in a very large city, I just don't think it is safe for kids to drive at an early age because they don't have the wisdom and judgment that they will have (hopefully) in a few years.


----------



## Maverick2272

That's Allstates stance! LOL quoting their commercials they are big on citing distractions as a major problem.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

We all know it's true! That's one reason insurance for young people is sky high - they have to most accidents.


----------



## expatgirl

I didn't learn to drive until I was good and married at age 20........cop said i was the best driver he had ever run into........yeah, well I read 2 driver's manuals and scared of the cars to begin with and my kids learned at an early age not to distract me.....one of the worst trips I ever encountered was a trip over Lake Pontchatrain in Louisiana in pouring down rain.......it was the scariest ever.........


----------



## Fisher's Mom

expatgirl said:


> I didn't learn to drive until I was good and married at age 20........cop said i was the best driver he had ever run into........yeah, well I read 2 driver's manuals and scared of the cars to begin with and my kids learned at an early age not to distract me.....one of the worst trips I ever encountered was a trip over Lake Pontchatrain in Louisiana in pouring down rain.......it was the scariest ever.........


You and me both. I learned at 17 but I already had my daughter and I was scared to death of having an accident and my child getting hurt. So I was, and still am, the most defensive driver you'll ever meet!


----------



## Maverick2272

I got my learners permit at the age of 14. Spent the next two years with my dad teaching me how to drive. In Iowa you can also get a school and work permit at that age if you have good grades, but dad refused. Those two years he spent driving all over the countryside, blacktops, dirt roads, gravel roads, expressways. In the winter he took me out onto the ice and made me drive all over the lake. Taught me how to handle a car in winter and on ice.
At 16 I passed drivers ed with flying colors and got my license. Dad then promptly took it back. When I went to school, he handed it and the keys to me. When I came home from school, I handed it and the keys back to him. Same for work. At 17 he loosened up the reins a little and I got to drive more but mostly just during the summer. At 18 I got full privileges then went off to college.
Looking back, its not a bad way to do things...


----------



## expatgirl

me too..........being ADD you can't afford to be distracted at the wheel of a motorized vehicle either though I think that your brain switches to a higher gear as I've never been involved in an accident or gotten a moving violation ticket.......I'm an insurance company's dreamboat.............I have never been able to relax behind the wheel......I grip the steering wheel with two hands holding on tightly


----------



## texasgirl

expatgirl said:


> I didn't learn to drive until I was good and married at age 20........cop said i was the best driver he had ever run into........yeah, well I read 2 driver's manuals and scared of the cars to begin with and my kids learned at an early age not to distract me.....one of the worst trips I ever encountered was a trip over Lake Pontchatrain in Louisiana in pouring down rain.......it was the scariest ever.........


 
Did it hurt??


----------



## Maverick2272

And I am sure he has RUN INTO plenty of drivers, eh??


----------



## LPBeier

This isn't new though.  Back when I was a teenager two brothers (one who was dating my best friend and unfortunately, for her, married her a few years later), were playing chicken down one of the streets in my relatively small home town.  It was big enough, however to have a bus system.  As the travelled at high speeds up the street the bus was coming down it.  My friend's intended wouldn't pull over soon or far enough for his brother to get over and the brother hit the bus head on and was killed instantly.  Two elderly people on the bus were injured badly and the driver, who suffered some physical injuries as well, was never the same again emotionally and became an alcoholic.  About 2 years later he committed suicide, never being able to get the accident off his mind.  The living brother managed to stay alive for about 5 more years, marry my friend, have a daughter, divorce my friend and end up getting killed in a bar fight.


----------



## expatgirl

texasgirl said:


> Did it hurt??



smart derriere.......hahah


----------



## texasgirl

expatgirl said:


> smart derriere.......hahah


 
lol 
I've been called a lot worse!!


----------



## expatgirl

I just know you have and I bet I know the rhyming word, too


----------



## Barbara L

Wow, there has been a lot of activity on this thread since I was here last!  I don't have time to respond to each and every one, but my heart is right there with all of you.  

I'm still battling the stupid kidney stones tonight.  Thanks for mentioning the heat wrap.  That is a good idea.  I take hot baths, but sometimes the heat wraps would be more practical.  This coming weekend is our yearly church women's retreat, and I don't want to be in pain for that.  I wish you all could be there!  That would be so fun!

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

yep, I'd be there........have fun and hope that your kidney stones stop plaguing you.....


----------



## expatgirl

I read thru this entire thread.......as for wondering which meds and over the counter and wine, etc, etc. you can or can't mix......your pharmacist is one of the best people you can ask for advice from and they'll be upfront and tell you to talk to your doctor if they have problems with recommendations but most questions can be answered by them.........you might wait a few minutes and I always thank them for picking up the phone and giving advice......it'll also be my local pharmacist who will place a warning on the bag and will stop me or one of my family members to be sure that know what the side effects are.......I'm probably one of the few  people who do read those drug warning literature circulars and airplane safety tips on airlines.......wimpola grandiosa


----------



## Maverick2272

Barbara L said:


> Wow, there has been a lot of activity on this thread since I was here last!  I don't have time to respond to each and every one, but my heart is right there with all of you.
> 
> I'm still battling the stupid kidney stones tonight.  Thanks for mentioning the heat wrap.  That is a good idea.  I take hot baths, but sometimes the heat wraps would be more practical.  This coming weekend is our yearly church women's retreat, and I don't want to be in pain for that.  I wish you all could be there!  That would be so fun!
> 
> Barbara



I don't think they would let me in, and I don't look good enough to pass in a dress!


But, our churches have retreats as well, this year DW has vowed to make the time to go to hers, and I have vowed to make mine.


----------



## Barbara L

Maverick2272 said:


> I don't think they would let me in, and I don't look good enough to pass in a dress!
> 
> 
> But, our churches have retreats as well, this year DW has vowed to make the time to go to hers, and I have vowed to make mine.


You could hang out with the guard at the gate!

I hope you both do go to your retreats.  I look forward to this every year.  There will be more laughter and more tears than any other time of the year!  Our retreat is at a wonderful place at the beach, at the mouth of the Cape Fear River.  It was an old fort--Fort Caswell.  So relaxing!

Barbara
P.S. No way am I going to even bring a dress!  You'd probably be the only one Buddy!


----------



## homecook

I would like to thank each of you that responded to my post! I know it's going to hurt for some time without my grandmother. I went through it when my Dad died almost 25 years ago and it still hurts. I just need to hold on to all the wonderful memories.
I do love my mother, it's just so hard to see her like this. It's only been the last four months that things have gone down hill for her. She had colon surgery for cancer in February and because of her age between the pain meds and anesthesia (sp?) she has been really bad and had to go into ***'t living. She Hates it there. 

Barb


----------



## Fisher's Mom

homecook said:


> I would like to thank each of you that responded to my post! I know it's going to hurt for some time without my grandmother. I went through it when my Dad died almost 25 years ago and it still hurts. I just need to hold on to all the wonderful memories.


I can really relate because my grandmother was the member of my family that I connected with the most. I always felt so completely loved when I was with her. She was the first person I ever lost and it's been 33 years and I still miss her like crazy. It took several years before it became real to me because she was so much a part of my life. So let yourself grieve for as long as it takes. She must have been a very special woman.


----------



## In the Kitchen

sattie said:


> It is an age thing.  Sometimes he just goes and does not realize it.  I dropped some of his food in his water and he drank all the water to get the food.  So I knew this was coming.  (My fault, but it still pees me off! )  Boots is around 15 or so years old and he is doing good for his age.  The little dude in my avatar is Binks, my 5 year old Chihuahua.  So what is this "fur babies" group you speak of???  How do I join?



One of my dogs is 13 years old.  Blind, deaf, arthritis and gets acupuncture.  He has started doing this and there are times when he does dump that if you don't see it you may step in it.  Also it  now looks like an adults business.  I have been t old that beside the expense and work, I should do something about him.  He seems to struggle to exist and doesn't want help if he can do it.  He really is inspiration to the rest here except for the 'accidents.  He used to hide and feel ashamed that he did something in the house but now he just does something and walks right by it.  No shame at all.  The one acupuncture doctor told me 'dogs just take life as a fact, nothing to be ashamed about '  I know you probably think I live in a real pig stye but no matter what you all think, I love this little life that has brought me joy for so long.  His little heart is so big and he is doing the best he can.  I hope I can just give him the life he so rightfully deserves.  Sure was a comfort so often to me personally.  I have tried diapers but there are days where he does make it outside and then that diaper pad has to be thrown away.  So just count my blessings.

I have to take the dogs t o a kennel next month and worry that they will not have the right treatment.  This old dog is not the easiest to take care of.  Just hope he doesn't bark the entire time we're gone.  He does that at the groomers and they sure do a quick job when he is there.  Like the groomer told me, old dogs are expensive.  I know she was trying to tell me something indirectly but I have to ignore innuendoes.  They never lived with him for 13 years.  
Thanks for your time.


----------



## krichardson

in the kitchen, i totally understand your attatchment to your doggy. my 13 year old cat had two accidents on the carpet last week. i got really worried that things were going to start going down hill with her, but she seems fine this week. it really got me thinking how much i love her and how much i would be willing to spend at a vet for her. i hope your dog does well at the kennels!


----------



## luvs

in the kitchen, 
i understand your love fer pets. they're precious. your doggy sounds like a sweetie.


----------



## In the Kitchen

Thanks to all of you!  Seems some people think I am out of sink with normal society.  It is just can you really question anything when you love them and they do all they can in return?  He is very very special.  Was my mom's dog before she passed away, hence he has some kind of memory of her with him.  She also named him China and here at the end of his life he is being treated by chinese herbs and acupuncture.  Seems like of strange to me.  Even the doctor and people in office say he truly has unique connection with their work.  First time they had dog with this name.  Thanks again for understanding.  If only all the people who come to my house felt the same way you people do.


----------



## expatgirl

I feel badly because I've had to banish Mamacat and her son, Tarzan, outside.....both of them decided to use our carpets as littler boxes......took them to the vet to rule out urinary tract problems.........clean as whistles.......the boxes of clumpable litter were cleaned as soon as colonic matter appeared.....no real good excuses that I was accepting my friend explained that they were probably mad about something.......well I get mad, too,,,,but I don't make myself socially unacceptable while I'm at it.......thank goodness it's warm most of the year here......they sleep on blankets in the garage.......and are quite happy.....neither even try to run indoors when given the opportunity both are shorthairs, too.......


----------



## pdswife

.....WORK....  nuff said.


----------



## Barbara L

pdswife said:


> .....WORK.... nuff said.


Awwwww!  You're here with us now, so you can let your hair down and relax!

Barbara


----------



## pdswife

grummble, sass,cry, sceam, pull hair, shout, say very nasty words.  There I feel better.  Thanks Barbara.


----------



## suziquzie

oh dear.... have you had a day with lego girl?


----------



## middie

lmbo suzi. that should help put her in a brighter mood.


----------



## pdswife

you guys always make me feel better.


----------



## LPBeier

Okay, here I go, but be warned this is going to be a very bumpy ride.

DD turned 25 today (Tuesday) and it was also one week ago today that she got married

DD and I spent half of Sunday in the hospital with the return of her abdominal pain and she was told she had diverticulitis which showed up on the CT scan of May 16th (but was not mentioned at that time).  I  know how serious this can be because of my father's experiences with it.  They hooked her up to IV for antibiotics and did tests.  They then said there was no infection and sent her home with an RX for more anti-biotics and a bottle of demerol for the pain.  She has had diarrehea every day since this started and the ER doctor says she is just full of "poop and gas" and should take some laxitives and will be fine.

Now she already had a colonoscopy scheduled for yesterday (Monday) and had it done in the morning.  They gave her a written report (complete with colour pictures) saying that everything was fine - no colitis (original diagnosis), no diverticuli (infected or otherwise), no problems at all.

She was very discouraged and very much in pain.  I told her that this was actually a good thing because all of this was definitely ruled out now.  When she got home to make an appointment immediately with her family doctor and we went there at 10:00 this morning.  Her doctor agreed that it was not bowel related but still was not convinced it was appendix.  She said if she were to persue anything it would take a few days to a few weeks to set anything in motion and that DD should go to the hospital, but not the same one.  

We went to a smaller hospital in the next town and we met by the triage nurse from ****.  DD had the chills and had been running a fever when we left the house but it was down by this time.  She was also dressed in sweats and a baseball cap because it was comfortable.  The nurse took one look at her and the fact that she was not going back to the same hospital and made some very cruel assumptions.  She told DD to stop shaking - she couldn't have chills because she didn't have a fever.  She also said she couldn't have a pain level of 10 because her heart rate as 78 (what does THAT mean?).  She basically stated that she must have been kicked out of the other hospital because she was just trying to get drugs.  I tried to intervene and she shot me down saying DD was old enough to talk for herself.   She then put 5 people with minor injuries through before us.  I went to the new triage nurse and asked when we would go in and she looked up the chart and said "oh, we better get her in right away".

Well she sees a medical student, a resident and a surgeon.  They are all concerned that all the tests show different things, including a small cyst on her ovary that was never mentioned before.  The surgeon decides enough is enough and sets up an exploratory for Wednesday 1:00 pm  (PST).  He says he will probably removed the cyst and appendix during the procedure.  He is worried about a rare occurance of chronic appendicitis where the appendix flares and ebbs on a regular basis so that it wouldn't always show on the tests.  We were both impressed with him.  

DD settles down and relaxes a bit because she knows something is being done.  I leave to make phone calls and give her a chance to visit with her cousin because it is her birthday.  Enter in the nurse from triage.  She totally ignores DD's plea for something more for the pain.  She sees DD walk her cousin down the hall to leave and yells at her for being up.  We ask once again for her morphine bump up but the nurse onces again ignores it.  Our two DH's show up around 5 pm and mine and I go out to have the lunch he brought, after singing happy birthday with a flameless candle in her Blizzard (doctor said she could have ice cream for her birthday but nothing solid and nothing at all after midnight.)  She and DH go for a smoke, which they shouldn't have and the nurse has moved her bed into the hall and told her she won't get any morphine on HER shift.  Well, SIL runs to find me to make it all better.  I find the nurse and say my daughter really is in a lot of pain and she said that she doesn't act like it.  I finally said "If it was your 25th birthday and you had only been married one week, would YOU want to be in the hospital if you weren't sick?"  We get the morphine but she asks DD "what dose of morphine are you used to"?  DD looks totally wounded and says I don't know I hate taking anything but I just want some relief until I get the surgery!

Well, the new nurse came on and I had a long talk with her before we left.  The pain management got worked out but DD lost her room and was to be in the hall all night.  I explained what had happened, but there was no place for her. They will do there best. 

SIL has taken tomorrow off and he and I will be at the hospital all day tomorrow.  He wants me there because I "seem to get things done".  I hate that I have become able to throw my wait around, but I am just tired of seeing this poor young woman treated the way she is.  

Okay, now to me.  The camp I cooked at last year called yesterday grovelling to have DH and I come and give whatever time we have to help out during the next two months because they have over 30 staff on special diets and will have even more when the campers start this Friday.  DH really wants to go for this weekend and a couple of others.  I am in pain, have my doctor's appointment next week and have catering orders that are enough work for me to handle.  And I really don't feel I owe anything to them (long story I won't go into).  Plus, I don't want to leave DD right now.

Okay, I am done.  Hopefully now I can get some sleep.


----------



## Mama

Laurie I have a DD that's 26 and if I were you I'd be absolutely furious! Who does that nurse think she is? I don't know how you do things in Canada but here in the States, I'd be having a nice chat with the hospital administrator right about now and explaining to them that I would not tolerate any more verbal abuse from that woman (or anyone else for that matter). I would tell them that she was NEVER to come anywhere near my DD ever again!!!! And then I'd be having a chat with the doctor because I wouldn't imagine he would like his patients being talked to like that either. If she doesn't like her job then she needs to find a new one! Boy reading that really peed me off! 

Do you want me to come up there? I'll straighten her sorry butt out! 

As far as the camp goes, your DD should take priority.


----------



## mikki

I'm sorry your DD is sick, but throw your wait around until you get the results that you need. Your appendix is nothing to mess with, mind ruptured when I was 6 I was in the hospital a month and almost died. I'm glad the dr is finally doing something.
I would definately tell that nurse not to come near your DD again and I would also talk to hosp.admin. noone in the  health care profession should behave that way. As far as saying that your DD was an addict, I think I would have punched her in the nose right then. Good Luck I hope your DD gets better


----------



## Barbara L

Laurie, I wish I could say something that would help.  I wish I were there to give you moral support.  You should definitely talk to someone in charge about that horrid nurse.  She is beyond incompetent and rude.  

You mentioned a small ovarian cyst.  I was prone to pinpoint ovarian cysts which popped on their own (they were very painful), and then when I was around 27 years old I started having horrible pain.  I went to the hospital.  They did all kinds of tests and couldn't find anything until the 4th day.  I had a fist-sized ovarian cyst that had been "hiding."  As soon as they removed it I stopped hurting.  So hopefully removal of your DD's appendix and the cyst will make a difference.  

Don't feel obligated to cook at that camp this year.  

I'm keeping you all in my prayers.

Barbara


----------



## texasgirl

Jeez, Laurie, your daughter just can't get any help!! Hopefully, the exploritory testing will give her, and you, the answers you need for her to be healthy again! Good luck!!


OK, here goes, I hate my job. If my old bos would give me days off and paid holidays, as he said he  would, I would go back there SO fast!!!


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks, everyone.  I do intend to talk to the hospital administration and because I was so upset last night, and long winded, I didn't mention that in my talk with the night nurse I asked that she be assigned someone different today.  She said she would put my complaint in the chart and also would have it mentioned to the surgeon.  We are going up there in a few hours so we can spend time with her before the surgery and I also want to be there at shift change to make sure they don't assign the same woman.


----------



## expatgirl

my sincere wishes for a resolution of your daughter's problem.......I know........my daughter had an ongoing bladder/ urinary tract infection for over 3 months and has had to deal with a boyfriend that she was breaking up with and he just wouldn't accept it and was giving her all kinds of emotional grief and this is in addition to having to concentrate on a very demanding college schedule..not easy for a parent to sit idly by......you want to be their saviours.......it's our lot in life.........


----------



## LadyCook61

Laurie, have they ruled out Gall stones, Kidney stones ? I suffered from both when I was 19, had gall bladder taken out at 19 ! I also get bouts of divertulitis so I know how painful it can be. I sure hope your DD gets the help she needs. I pray for wisdom and guidance for the doctors to diagnose the problem and prescribe the right care for your DD.


----------



## VickiQ

((Laurie))) I hope things are looking up for both you and your daughter!!! This is rough stuff. I send you lots of love and energy, Vicki

Now as for me- Has anyone ever wished they were a rich orphan without children????


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Laurie, I will have you and your daughter in my heart and prayers today while I wait for you to post that she's out and all is well.

It's so sad that hospitals often treat patients with unremitting pain of unknown cause as if they are drug seeking. It happened to my husband, who at the time was a VP of a large company, but he had an as yet undiagnosed ruptured discs in his back. When he kept going back to the doc, trying to find out what was wrong and fix the problem, he was labeled drug seeking. Finally, I had to call his doc and threaten some serious legal action if he wasn't given an MRI to see what was up. They did and before we got home from that, they were on the phone asking if hubby was OK. We were referred to a neurosurgeon, who did surgery within the week. So keep pushing because otherwise, your daughter might not be taken seriously until it is too late, girlfriend.


----------



## TanyaK

My mom had what we presume was a light stroke and my dad took her to their GP who referred her to a specialist. My dad didn't ask what kind of specialist so we presumed it was a neurologist but it was a psychiatrist ! ! ! How can he refer someone with whom there is obviously something wrong physically to a psychiatrist or am I missing something? Anyway the psychiatrist referred her to have X rays done and they're going back there tomorrow for another consultation.  I wanted to go along but my dad is adament that he'll handle it.  I just hope the doctors aren't wasting valuable time and my parents' medical aid funds...


----------



## Saphellae

Laurie and Tanya, my prayers are with you both that your loved ones will make a full recovery with as least pain possible!


----------



## pot clanger

To have a loved one be ill is bad enough, without having to deal with insensitive medical "experts"...  Very sorry to hear of your situations, Laurie and Tanya.   I hope you get the kind of care and advice you need and deserve, and that they are quickly on the road to back to good health...  Blessings


----------



## pot clanger

Feeling a bit sheepish as I am not ill, nor are any of my loved ones...nevertheless...

Little Mrs. Kuhns died yesterday.  She lived across the street from me - 97 years old, bless her - we should all be so lucky to live such a long life.  Her daughter came to my house last week asking me to help her get her into the car to go to hospital - she had trouble breathing - we decided to call for ambulance, as I couldn't very well carry her and she really was in no shape to use her walker.  I fixed her hair while we waited because she didn't want them seeing her "a mess" -  the boys came, and off they took her and that's the last I ever saw of her.  Lived on her own up to that day - we all looked in after her.  She like to watch wrestling and you should have seen her eyes light up at chocolate cake!  We have the same camellia and rose bushes as our homes were built/landscaped in the same era - 1920's.  Her little house is the first thing I see when I open my door to fetch the paper... just sad - I'm glad she didn't suffer, but my heart is just sad.  (nice to have a safe spot to post things like this...thanks for listening)


----------



## Alix

Hey pot clanger I'm sorry about your neighbour. Its sad to see an ending of someone like that.


----------



## pdswife

I'm sorry pot clanger. That's sad.


----------



## kadesma

TanyaK said:


> My mom had what we presume was a light stroke and my dad took her to their GP who referred her to a specialist. My dad didn't ask what kind of specialist so we presumed it was a neurologist but it was a psychiatrist ! ! ! How can he refer someone with whom there is obviously something wrong physically to a psychiatrist or am I missing something? Anyway the psychiatrist referred her to have X rays done and they're going back there tomorrow for another consultation.  I wanted to go along but my dad is adament that he'll handle it.  I just hope the doctors aren't wasting valuable time and my parents' medical aid funds...


Tanya,
I'm sorry. I'll be praying for your mom and all of you...Keep us in the loop so we know how she is doing.
kadesma


----------



## LPBeier

Okay, the 2 month saga of my DD's health nightmare is over.

When I got there yesterday morning she had had a rough night as her day nurse "filled in the night nurse" on her "drug seeking ways".  However, I had talked to another nurse about the whole thing and when she got off triage at 1:30 am she became DD's nurse and treated her well.  She remained in the hall untill about 11 am when her day nurse found her a curtained area with a real bed in an area where each nurse has only 4 patients.  The surgery was at 2:30 and lasted a long time.  The doctor was true to his word and did the exploratory and removed the appendix which "looked normal".  Everything else was normal as well.  When she had enough time to come out of the anesthetic I asked her how the pain was and she said the original pain was gone and she just had the surgery pain (three small incisions).  We left the hospital, with her, at 9:00 pm.  She is still sleeping so I don't know how the pain is today, but I really feel this horror story has finally had a good ending.

Thanks to everyone who has supported me throughout this rollercoaster ride.  You really have gotten me through it.


----------



## Saphellae

I'm so happy to hear that your daughter is on the mend.  

That nurse should lose her license.. nursing is about taking care of someone and helping them feel better, not about making them feel worse. She needs to leave her problems at home.


----------



## LPBeier

Tanya, I am so sorry you are going through this with your Mom.  I know about medical stupidness and I also know about doctors mixing emotional and physical problems.  My heart and prayers go out to you.

Potclanger, my condolences on your neighbor.  It does hurt when someone whom you know like that passes away.  We get attached to the people who make up the little world around us.  

Oh, and vents don't have to be about health or even about anger, just things that bother us.


----------



## LPBeier

Saphellae said:


> I'm so happy to hear that your daughter is on the mend.
> 
> That nurse should lose her license.. nursing is about taking care of someone and helping them feel better, not about making them feel worse. She needs to leave her problems at home.


 
Thank, Saphellae, we are considering action.  And the surgeon was informed that she threatened not to give pain medication and he is "not too pleased".


----------



## Saphellae

I'm glad to hear that. I'm hoping for the best outcome!


----------



## lulu

Ouch twisted my ankle.  It'll mend but still, ouch!


----------



## pot clanger

That's maddening - I hope yours heals up quickly (and that you don't have any little ones to run after!)


----------



## lulu

pot clanger said:


> That's maddening - I hope yours heals up quickly (and that you don't have any little ones to run after!)


 
No, only the animals .


----------



## expatgirl

Definitely Nurse Cratched (from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest) needs a few sensitivity sessions at a charm school...........be interesting to see where she did most of her training........maybe drug  rehab programs so  automatic assumptions are already a part of the picture.........


----------



## Barbara L

Laurie, I'm glad your daughter is doing so much better.  I hope you do take action against that nurse.  You know that if she treated your daughter that way, she is treating other people the same.

Please say a prayer or two for me for this weekend everyone.  I thought my kidney stones were done but I am hurting again now.  I have a LOT of stuff that has to be done today, as I am leaving in the morning and will be gone for the weekend.  I really don't want to spend my weekend at our church ladies' retreat in pain.  

I'm not bringing my computer with me, as I plan to leave the whole world behind this weekend, but I will be back here Sunday night.

Barbara


----------



## luvs

prayers with HUGE hugs, barbara!!!


----------



## jpmcgrew

Barbara L said:


> Laurie, I'm glad your daughter is doing so much better. I hope you do take action against that nurse. You know that if she treated your daughter that way, she is treating other people the same.
> 
> Please say a prayer or two for me for this weekend everyone. I thought my kidney stones were done but I am hurting again now. I have a LOT of stuff that has to be done today, as I am leaving in the morning and will be gone for the weekend. I really don't want to spend my weekend at our church ladies' retreat in pain.
> 
> I'm not bringing my computer with me, as I plan to leave the whole world behind this weekend, but I will be back here Sunday night.
> 
> Barbara


 
 Barbara, how much water do you drink? For some most people drinking plenty of water keeps the kidneys flushed so the crystals dont have a chance to cluster and get bigger and by then they are hard to pass. When I started seeing Dh he had kidney stones and I noticed he never ever drank water while he was outside or at home and it's really dry here . I got him to start drinking water and he has not had a kidney stone since, that was over 11 years ago now he carries plenty of water in his truck. I cant say it enough people need to drink enough water in fact by the time you actually feel thirsty you are so incredibly dehydrated it's not even funny. My point is that one should drink water through out the day and night so not to actually become thirsty. 
And this will sound crazy but you can tell how hydrated or not hydrated you are when you go number one it should be clear or really light yellow if it's anything darker than that you are dehydrated the darker the worse off you are.
 Thats my story and I'm sticking to it.


----------



## Barbara L

Thanks luvs.

I don't drink as much as I am supposed to.  I try, but I forget.  I never got kidney stones before I moved to South Carolina.  I have to drink a lot more than I had to in California.  I need to try a lot harder to remember.  Lately though, I have been forgetting to eat as well.  Sheesh!  

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

here's hoping that you have a retreat from your kidney stones, Barbs, and hope that you  have a great weekend.......


----------



## Barbara L

Thanks!  I'm on my way to take some Tylenol and take a hot bath.  Hopefully that will do the trick.

Barbara


----------



## texasgirl

Barbara L said:


> Thanks! I'm on my way to take some Tylenol and take a hot bath. Hopefully that will do the trick.
> 
> Barbara


 
don't forget your heating pad, Barbara. Can you take that with you?
I hope you have a wonderful weekend.


----------



## kadesma

Barbara L said:


> Thanks!  I'm on my way to take some Tylenol and take a hot bath.  Hopefully that will do the trick.
> 
> Barbara



Big hugs your way..Enjoy the retreat..Hope the kidneys feel better soon.
kades


----------



## Barbara L

Thanks Stacy and cj!  I don't have a heating pad, or I would bring it just in case.  I'm sure I'll be okay.  There will be lots of drinks there, and I will bring some extra bottled water.  

I forgot to tell you the theme of this year's retreat.  Dangerous Women!

We have a really good lesson each day, some Bible study, singing, and communion.  We also have a lot of time to do whatever we want--sit around and talk, go down to the beach, go to the pool, play silly games, etc.  There is a TV in a little room.  It hardly ever gets turned on, but sometimes.  

Here is one of the games we played last time (most of the older ladies didn't play, but a couple did).  Everyone who wants to play has to go out of the room.  One at a time (so the others don't catch on) a person is brought in and a big sheet is put over her head.  A couple people who are in on it stand next to her.  They tell her, "Take off one thing that you don't need."  Thank goodness I caught on right away!  Anyway, when they don't catch on right away, they usually start with something like a shoe.  Then the others tell her the same thing, "Take off one thing that you don't need."  Some women have ended up with not much on before they finally understand that the thing they don't need is the sheet! 

Well, I still have a lot to do, so I'd better send out the Welcome Letter, get everything done, and then get to bed.  I'm feeling much better right now, btw.  

Barbara


----------



## buckytom

i just went out of my building to check on my truck, and a concert in a club down the block just let out. as the hundreds of kids walked by, many of them sucking on balloons of nitrous oxide, one crappy little wasted girl decided to start shouting at me that the yankees suck, in a really nasty tone. apparently, she didn't like my yankees t-shirt. 
so i went to my truck, dropped my phone and wallet inside, and turned around. 
the dumb little chick, with a hapless guy in tow, didn't realize that they were walking towards me, that i hadn't left. 
so as they passed me, the girl saw me and at first said "relax man, i was only kidding", to which i simply replied that she should watch her mouth. 

as she felt safe a few feet further up, she started shouting obsenities again.

so i drove up the block, parked (i had to move my truck anyway), and got out as they approached again. it's a long block.

this time, the little see-you-next-tuesday got scared, and said "what, are you gonna beat a girl up?", followed by a string of curses.

so i replied, "no, i'll kick _his_ ***, how's that? where do you get off talking to complete strangers that way?"

the guy turned white and apologized, then started jogging away.
the girl continued to shout more stuff, at him and then me. most other people crossed the street.

i wish i was 20 again, and didn't care about getting arrested. grrrrrrrrrr.


----------



## SierraCook

BT, I can understand your anger and frustration.  What I don't understand is people like that girl.  I would never even think to talk like that to anyone.  That kind of attitude is just rude.


----------



## Barbara L

It is unbelievable that anyone feels they can talk to people that way BT.  I have seen enough little kids interacting with their parents through the years to know where it starts though.  When kids grow up yelling at their parents, hitting them, interrupting them constantly--they feel it is their right to do that.  If their parents want to put up with it, fine, but they are unleashing these selfish, self-centered, rude idiots on the world.  

Barbara


----------



## TanyaK

kadesma said:


> Tanya,
> I'm sorry. I'll be praying for your mom and all of you...Keep us in the loop so we know how she is doing.
> kadesma



Thanks to everyone for their kind words. It turned out to be a brain tumor which we're hoping and praying is benign and operable. She's seeing the neurosurgeon on Monday. In a way it's "better" news than a stroke that might have caused brain damage or Alzheimers which we also suspected as something can hopefully be done about it. The ironic thing is that my MIL also has a brain tumor and is currently lying in hospital. She doesn't have health insurance and they kept on postponing the operation as there were more "serious" cases, then they had to do an emergency op to drain fluid from her brain and now she's too weak to operate on. She's now in a semi coma and we're not very hopeful. It's just so surreal that our mothers get diagnosed with the same thing within a month of each other. I'm just very grateful that my parents have health insurance. So not really a good a good couple of months for me and Adrienne so far.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

This is terrible, Tanya! What an awful position - a stroke or a brain tumor. I admire you being such a loving and steadfast daughter. Please let us know when/if her surgery or treatment begins and we will keep you and your mom in our prayers.


----------



## TanyaK

Thanks Fisher's Mom - appreciate it.


----------



## DawnT

Prayers are out for your mother and MIL, Tanya.  Also for you and your DH.  Dawn  :>)


----------



## expatgirl

Tanya, that is such sad news for your family.  I'm so sorry for you DH's mother.  And shame on her health care system that they made her wait so long and then she's too weak now to be treated successfully. I'd be out performing my own lobotomies on responsible parties that's for sure..

  In the last two weeks I've probably had close to two thousand dollars worth of blood tests.  And it's a  relief to know that my insurance will cover most of it.  We still don't know what the problem is except for low sodium levels. Had some sorta vasopressin test that has to be frozen yesterday----doesn't that sound like $$$$$ going into a blood vial and ice cube tray---Bloody Mary's anyone?   Hoping that it was due to the diuretic which I'm now off of.  Waiting for the results and am supposed to leave on Tuesday to return to the land of OZ---ooooops, misnomer there.......KZ is what I meant..........anyway I'm awaiting a verdict sometime today and I'm scared stiffless

Please, hang in there, Tanya--------tests will soon enough confirm your Mom's problem------they are probably if they haven't already done so do an MRI.......the tech can tell as he or she is doing the test but they're not going to say a word until it's read---that's where the wait comes in..........DC comfort hugs coming your way


----------



## expatgirl

buckytom said:


> i just went out of my building to check on my truck, and a concert in a club down the block just let out. as the hundreds of kids walked by, many of them sucking on balloons of nitrous oxide, one crappy little wasted girl decided to start shouting at me that the yankees suck, in a really nasty tone. apparently, she didn't like my yankees t-shirt.
> so i went to my truck, dropped my phone and wallet inside, and turned around.
> the dumb little chick, with a hapless guy in tow, didn't realize that they were walking towards me, that i hadn't left.
> so as they passed me, the girl saw me and at first said "relax man, i was only kidding", to which i simply replied that she should watch her mouth.
> 
> as she felt safe a few feet further up, she started shouting obsenities again.
> 
> so i drove up the block, parked (i had to move my truck anyway), and got out as they approached again. it's a long block.
> 
> this time, the little see-you-next-tuesday got scared, and said "what, are you gonna beat a girl up?", followed by a string of curses.
> 
> so i replied, "no, i'll kick _his_ ***, how's that? where do you get off talking to complete strangers that way?"
> 
> the guy turned white and apologized, then started jogging away.
> the girl continued to shout more stuff, at him and then me. most other people crossed the street.
> 
> i wish i was 20 again, and didn't care about getting arrested. grrrrrrrrrr.



I  bet your little man would never be caught doing that when he grows up ........it sounds like these kids were high on something or another to be that rude...........my mother would have turned my head 180 degrees and then bounced it in the street if I had ever acted that rudely to an adult growing  up---there was no 911 to save kids back then.........and then I would have been shamed into going and apologizing......in other words you treat people like you want to be treated......with respect and considerance.....kudos for giving them a fleet relief few moments brought to you free and  compliments of BuckyTom.........good for you and well-done..........hope you made sure the guy was not carrying a weapon


----------



## AllenOK

<rant>

What's with people who drive pickups tailgating and shining their bright headlights in my mirrors at night?

</rant>

In all fairness, I could have pulled over and let them pass.  But, rural county roads out here don't have a shoulder, just a weedy, over-grown ditch.  And since it's rural, at night, I refuse to drive faster than 50, and usually only do 40, in case someone's cow or horse decides to step out in front of my car.


----------



## suziquzie

I have the same problem Allen. 
I see deer EVERY MORNING I work. I dont care to hit one at 70 mph.
You wanna hit it? Go around me, be my guest. Gets it out of my way.


----------



## texasgirl

Bucky, that little, #$@%^ was probably brought up with parents that never disciplined her at all. The kind that say, oh no, MY daughter would NEVER do that. Makes you want to beat them AND the kid!! ARGH!

Tanya, my thoughts and prayers are with you and both families. Health care is just not what it used to be. My grandmother talks about how her parents could go work on their dr's house or do something for them to pay off their bill. Now, they don't see patients walking in, they see $$, that's it. For the Dr's that do still care, they are hard to find.


Allen, I know what you mean. I live down a country road, wide enough for 2, but, not stripes or lights and we normally drive in the middle if no other cars around. I HATE when tailgaters come up. Trucks are the worst for me since my car sits low, the lights come right in. Looks like daytime in the car!! My husband had a spotlight on his 60's truck that he had LONG time ago., he would turn it around on them, lol. They backed off and turned their lights down in a hurry, LOL!!!!


----------



## Saphellae

I hate when drivers do that, not just pickup trucks.  

When I have kids and I have them in the backseat, and someone does that to me, man am I going to be pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I wouldn't tolerate any road rage and if I got the chance I would give them a piece of my mind.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

buckytom said:


> i just went out of my building to check on my truck, and a concert in a club down the block just let out. as the hundreds of kids walked by, many of them sucking on balloons of nitrous oxide, one crappy little wasted girl decided to start shouting at me that the yankees suck, in a really nasty tone. apparently, she didn't like my yankees t-shirt.
> so i went to my truck, dropped my phone and wallet inside, and turned around.
> the dumb little chick, with a hapless guy in tow, didn't realize that they were walking towards me, that i hadn't left.
> so as they passed me, the girl saw me and at first said "relax man, i was only kidding", to which i simply replied that she should watch her mouth.
> 
> as she felt safe a few feet further up, she started shouting obsenities again.
> 
> so i drove up the block, parked (i had to move my truck anyway), and got out as they approached again. it's a long block.
> 
> this time, the little see-you-next-tuesday got scared, and said "what, are you gonna beat a girl up?", followed by a string of curses.
> 
> so i replied, "no, i'll kick _his_ ***, how's that? where do you get off talking to complete strangers that way?"
> 
> the guy turned white and apologized, then started jogging away.
> the girl continued to shout more stuff, at him and then me. most other people crossed the street.
> 
> i wish i was 20 again, and didn't care about getting arrested. grrrrrrrrrr.


I don't know how things are done up there but have you ever tried mooning badly behaved young people? It works great for me here in Texas.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Expat, I've been out of pocket here at DC for a couple of days so I missed this. I'm really alarmed. How are you feeling? It seems to me that it would be really hard to have low sodium levels so what the heck is causing this? Are you gonna stay in Texas til you find out? I really don't want anything to happen to you, my friend.


----------



## expatgirl

Thanks Fisher's Mom----don't know---been hanging around the phone all day but no news.......not handling it well esp. since I'm supposed to flying out on a jet plane Tues.......think I may be hanging around for awhile........so we'll see.........thanks for caring............will let you all know what's going on.........


----------



## luvs

2 of my kitties er ill. ozzy was lost fer 2 days, & my charlotte won't eat. neither will ozzy. they're both goin to thier vet tomorrow.


----------



## pdswife

Hope they feel better luvs.


----------



## texasgirl

sick pets are the awful. Just like babies, they can't tell you whats wrong. Are they drinking luvs? going to the restroom okay?


----------



## buckytom

lol, go to the rest room?  
do you mean like this:


----------



## texasgirl

buckytom said:


> lol, go to the rest room?
> do you mean like this:


 
LOL!!! Yeap, just like that!!!


----------



## Maverick2272

TanyaK said:


> My mom had what we presume was a light stroke and my dad took her to their GP who referred her to a specialist. My dad didn't ask what kind of specialist so we presumed it was a neurologist but it was a psychiatrist ! ! ! How can he refer someone with whom there is obviously something wrong physically to a psychiatrist or am I missing something? Anyway the psychiatrist referred her to have X rays done and they're going back there tomorrow for another consultation.  I wanted to go along but my dad is adament that he'll handle it.  I just hope the doctors aren't wasting valuable time and my parents' medical aid funds...



Believe it or not, should have been a Neurologist and a Psychiatrist, the Psychiatrist is there to spot any possible behavioral changes as well as possible brain damage that cannot be detected nor diagnosed with scans and what not. Often times tumors and/or strokes can show up in behavior, speech patterns, etc before showing up on x-rays and scans. But to be sure it is preferred that both be done.
In this case they may have felt the Psychiatrist could handle it since it was mild and perhaps they would not need the deeper scans. But I think I would still have insisted on seeing a Neurologist as well.


----------



## Maverick2272

Oh, my vent: DW just informed me, a couple of days ago, that she did not love me when she married me, but rather it was better than living with her parents. In fact, she doesn't really like me as a person and that approximately 70% of the time hates me. But, hey, she also says I have 'grown' on her over the years and she does have affection for me.
She also says she has always been attracted to a different type of guy, but fell short of necessarily admitting to specific affairs but rather alluded to them then refused to discuss it any further.
Of course I got upset about it, so then she says, "See, this is why I don't tell you things because you can't handle it, and this is why I don't like you because you get mad."
Uh, what?!?!


----------



## expatgirl

This is exactly why I can count on you, BT, to enliven the moment........it scares me that our humor is somewhat similar........the cat in the toilet is too funny....is this known as a catatonic fit????  Where did the water go?  Was this a Kmart special?  Buy a potty get a free kitty????..............


----------



## texasgirl

Maverick2272 said:


> Oh, my vent: DW just informed me, a couple of days ago, that she did not love me when she married me, but rather it was better than living with her parents. In fact, she doesn't really like me as a person and that approximately 70% of the time hates me. But, hey, she also says I have 'grown' on her over the years and she does have affection for me.
> She also says she has always been attracted to a different type of guy, but fell short of necessarily admitting to specific affairs but rather alluded to them then refused to discuss it any further.
> Of course I got upset about it, so then she says, "See, this is why I don't tell you things because you can't handle it, and this is why I don't like you because you get mad."
> Uh, what?!?!


 
buddy, you seriously need to get to counseling, if not with her, for yourself. You are a good guy and don't deserve that kind of crap from her!! The things that she has said and done to you since you've been here is enough for me to say "GET OUT"! I'm sorry, but, that is just my opinion!!


----------



## expatgirl

Maverick2272 said:


> Oh, my vent: DW just informed me, a couple of days ago, that she did not love me when she married me, but rather it was better than living with her parents. In fact, she doesn't really like me as a person and that approximately 70% of the time hates me. But, hey, she also says I have 'grown' on her over the years and she does have affection for me.
> She also says she has always been attracted to a different type of guy, but fell short of necessarily admitting to specific affairs but rather alluded to them then refused to discuss it any further.
> Of course I got upset about it, so then she says, "See, this is why I don't tell you things because you can't handle it, and this is why I don't like you because you get mad."
> Uh, what?!?!



ok, what are you going to do about it?  It just makes my heart ache for you to read this, Mav........please get a good lawyer and get your ducks lined up as I think you are going to be taken on a ride.......she is really mad at you for something and has a need to hurt you...........not saying she has all her mental faculties either.......maybe depression.....who knows....just have a good lawyer lined up in case that you have to go that route.......will be praying for you........


----------



## expatgirl

Please know, Maverick, that most of us understand the stress you're going thru and you really don't need to have these latest revelations put upon you to stress your heart more as painful as it might be..........let her go if that's what she wants...........it sounds like you never had her in the first place....your girls need you though..........they DO LOVE YOU even if your wife never did.......believe me if they are over the age of 10 they know if something is wrong.........


----------



## Maverick2272

I don't know what I am going to do about it yet. She says she has grown to love me, but I don't know that I can trust that or her. On the one hand I want to be more than just the alternative to being alone, on the other hand I still love her even if she can't return it the same way.
I go to therapy once every two weeks, the best they can manage with my insurance, but that is for depression and cutting. We did go to counseling for a couple of months last year before money and scheduling stopped that.
Two things the counselor pointed out was that her anger was there long before I came along, and starts with her perception that her parents are selfish and ruined her chances at getting a good start on life. I know they picked favorites and her sister won. I also know they say she was extremely difficult to manage and prone to fits of anger.
The second thing is that she has not decided what 'type' of man she wants. A nice guy or a bad boy. Sometimes she is happy with the nice guy, sometimes she wants to go hang out with the bad boys.
The problem with that, as determined by the counselor, lies with her definition of a bad boy. The kind of bad boys she knows are the ones that use women, are selfish, controlling, and prone to arguing and fighting.  Nice guys are wimps that can't stand up for themselves and are not real men.
Where I grew up nice guys were the real men, bad boys were childish womanizers. Nice guys stand up for themselves, but don't start fights. They don't use women they respect them, they take care of their families, they don't stray, and they were raised with manners and to treat their wives as ladies. They have an active role in raising their kids and backing their wives up so the wives do not feel 'alone' when it comes to taking care of the house and kids.
She does not see these things as 'manly' and therefore has no respect for me. But if I try to be more like what she thinks I should be like, she just says I am a bully, rude, mean, and controlling. I can't win.
I have to get myself back on my feet health wise before I do anything else. Right now she has power over my SSD, it is not in my name, so if I were to leave she would still have control of all the money. And there are the kids. Katies is 10 and wants out, Mitch is 7 and just wants his mom to spend more time with him, Abby is 3 and wants both parents there for her.
It is confusing, I just have to think for awhile about what I am going to do. This is not the first revelation from her, she has slowly been sharing her secrets for the last four years, about one every six months. If I knew last year (when I found out about her affair) what she just told me, I think I would have left then right on the spot.


----------



## LPBeier

Maverick, four years into my first marriage my ex told me he didn't love me and probably never did and never would. He had been emotionally abusive to me as your W (can't bring my self to put the D on that) has been to you but I held on because I had promised in front of God to love, honour and cherish. This was a really difficult blow, but I soon realized it was also an incredible release because I could stop loving him and when I did the hurt got less and I got stronger, emotionally, physically and spiritually. We stayed together one year after that before circumstances (that I pm'd you previously about) caused me to flee.

Maybe this is what you need to break free emotionally. You have your kids and their love and that is something amazing.

I will be praying for you my friend. PM if you want to talk.


----------



## pdswife

No words Mavrick...just hugs from across the miles.   I hurt for you.


----------



## B'sgirl

I'm so sorry, Maverick. It breaks my heart to think anyone could say such things to their spouse! I hope you are able to make a decision that works for you about what to do. I'm glad you are taking your children into consideration in this. At least you know that you have their love and you deserve it.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Mav, I'm so sorry to hear how hurt you are. No one else can know exactly what is between 2 people but those 2 however, I think your wife is using you to dump on. I've known people who would say very ugly and hurtful things just to get the reaction. It makes them feel powerful and important. Not a good thing.

The only advice I can give you that I absolutely know to be true is that you cannot change another person. You can only change yourself. Now is the time for you to take charge of your life and your happiness. True happiness cannot depend upon another person. It must be your own, irrespective of your current circumstances.

Some things you could do are taking a good long look at yourself and write down your strengths. You are warm, witty, a good and loving father, very intelligent with strong computer skills.... the list I'm sure would be quite long. Stop focusing on the things you can't change, like how your wife feels or acts. Even your health you can improve to some extent through diet and exercise, etc.

Then make a plan of action and work it. First off, go down to Social Security and get your SSI checks in your name. It doesn't mean you have to leave, just that you could if you chose to.

Begin pursuing things that interest you and would benefit you. You could start volunteering an hour or 2 a week at a local shelter or a training for the handicapped facility. Your computer skills are valuable and you could help others learn the basics so they could better themselves. Your kids are even welcome at many places where you volunteer. My kids have always gone with me. Service to others always helps me when things in my own life are bad - it helps put things in perspective and there is a certain camaraderie with people who are also going through a rough patch. Plus, you'd be shocked at how often that sort of thing leads to some part-time work. Work that you could maybe do from home.

I know with SSI you can work a few hours a day without it messing up your benefits. This can help you feel more powerful in your life, bring you in contact with other people, and help you to realize how much you have to offer the world. You are a great guy - with or without your wife. You need to know that so that if you find your marriage doesn't survive, you won't be completely at a loss for how to go on.

Good luck and keep your friends here up on how you are getting through this.


----------



## suziquzie

I'm sorry Mav, I wish I knew what to say....
rather, I can't say what I wanna here!!!!! 
So, you are a good guy, if she prefers to be treated badly, let her find someone to her liking. You can find a way out. 
Oh, and baking a CHERRY PIE helps too.


----------



## expatgirl

Maverick2272 said:


> I don't know what I am going to do about it yet. She says she has grown to love me, but I don't know that I can trust that or her. On the one hand I want to be more than just the alternative to being alone, on the other hand I still love her even if she can't return it the same way.
> I go to therapy once every two weeks, the best they can manage with my insurance, but that is for depression and cutting. We did go to counseling for a couple of months last year before money and scheduling stopped that.
> Two things the counselor pointed out was that her anger was there long before I came along, and starts with her perception that her parents are selfish and ruined her chances at getting a good start on life. I know they picked favorites and her sister won. I also know they say she was extremely difficult to manage and prone to fits of anger.
> The second thing is that she has not decided what 'type' of man she wants. A nice guy or a bad boy. Sometimes she is happy with the nice guy, sometimes she wants to go hang out with the bad boys.
> The problem with that, as determined by the counselor, lies with her definition of a bad boy. The kind of bad boys she knows are the ones that use women, are selfish, controlling, and prone to arguing and fighting.  Nice guys are wimps that can't stand up for themselves and are not real men.
> Where I grew up nice guys were the real men, bad boys were childish womanizers. Nice guys stand up for themselves, but don't start fights. They don't use women they respect them, they take care of their families, they don't stray, and they were raised with manners and to treat their wives as ladies. They have an active role in raising their kids and backing their wives up so the wives do not feel 'alone' when it comes to taking care of the house and kids.
> She does not see these things as 'manly' and therefore has no respect for me. But if I try to be more like what she thinks I should be like, she just says I am a bully, rude, mean, and controlling. I can't win.
> I have to get myself back on my feet health wise before I do anything else. Right now she has power over my SSD, it is not in my name, so if I were to leave she would still have control of all the money. And there are the kids. Katies is 10 and wants out, Mitch is 7 and just wants his mom to spend more time with him, Abby is 3 and wants both parents there for her.
> It is confusing, I just have to think for awhile about what I am going to do. This is not the first revelation from her, she has slowly been sharing her secrets for the last four years, about one every six months. If I knew last year (when I found out about her affair) what she just told me, I think I would have left then right on the spot.



please, Maverick, reread what you have just posted later on in the day.......you have had an emotional release written down  and your pain is so palpable as  all get  out as  to what the problems are  in your marriage, what probably caused them, your fears for being left alone and what your children are going thru and their emotional needs.... are definitely a factor in still wanting to make this relationship work... you have much on your plate and your many responsibilities  and what you're trying to do to keep it all in focus for your family......you are the shining knight on the white horse....most women out there who would appreciate a caring, selfless, employed, hard-working guy to be their husbands and or soulmates........your wife definitely has some issues....it's the toll on your health that concerns me the most as your kids need you given their ages.....I thought they were older........anyway please hang in there and if you want to pm me please do...but do reread your post later.........


----------



## Maverick2272

Jonesing for some cherries again are ya?? LOL. I have whole wheat bread going right now 

I am going to try and get us back into marriage counseling again. I think she does have to make a choice as to what she wants, and I will just have to give her some time to make that choice. And if she continues to just want a 'safety blanket' waiting at home while she goes out and takes risks, well I am no safety blanket so I will just have to set her free to go get treated like a cheap piece of meat. Why anyone would want that is beyond me.
It is the best I can come up with right now.


----------



## Mama

Wow Mav! I'm so sorry to hear about all of this. You deserve better. It sounds as though she may need the counseling more than you. If she is not willing to get it, you need to get as far away from her as you can. Her issues are very deep and she obviously can't handle them on her own. You don't need to be her outlet. She couldn't control her parents so she is destroying your self-esteem in an effort to try to control you.

Like I've always said, you have two choices in a relationship, you can either except them for the way they are or you can move on.  There are no other choices.


----------



## Barb L.

Mama said:


> Wow Mav! I'm so sorry to hear about all of this. You deserve better. It sounds as though she may need the counseling more than you. If she is not willing to get it, you need to get as far away from her as you can. Her issues are very deep and she obviously can't handle them on her own. You don't need to be her outlet. She couldn't control her parents so she is destroying your self-esteem in an effort to try to control you.
> 
> Like I've always said, you have two choices in a relationship, you can either except them for the way they are or you can move on.  There are no other choices.



I so agree with you Mama, she needs it worse - Mav. is a sweetheart !


----------



## jpmcgrew

Mav, If my DH said all that to me I would leave in that instant and come back later to get my stuff and then some. Those kind of words come from a hateful black heart People don't change unless they want to. Remember what they always say to us girls you can't change a man. Well the same gos for a women. There are too many people in this world that wait for years for the other to change but they don't and so they stay unhappy for the rest of their lives. I'm sorry but she is mean, mean, mean and selfish. My mother was the same so it came to a point I decided to have no more contact with her ever again after 30 odd years of dealing with her narcissistic personality. Which dos not mean that person is in love with themselves but rather that they don't give a crap about anybody else all they care about is their feelings and needs and blame everyone else for not having the life that they wanted which is why they say and do the most cruel things to those close to them. I am so much better off and I'm really happy now.I'm saying you will never make her happy and neither will anybody else because it's never good enough. I still remember a post you made a while back that she said she wished for your early demise. So you can keep trying or you can make some major changes and get out and make your self happy rather than feel like the way you do. Of course it's up to you. But I believe you are the one in control of your life and how happy you can be. Believe me I spent many years on the wrong guys hoping they would change etc. Only took me about 40 years to figure out it doesn't work and to not ignore the red flags but to take it as it is and cut my losses.
Your health is at stake as well. The nastier she gets the nastier she will become as she figures out you will just put up with it.


----------



## pot clanger

Nothing hurts worse than deception.. and when you're dealing with someone, who, after years of marriage and 3 kids, (& how many lies/infidelities?) says they're "not sure" what they want... ???  

*Big.  Red.  Flag.* 

I will not pass judgment on your wife, but I will offer this: Please look out for number one here -* you* FIRST  - it's kind of like on the airplane safety card: put the oxygen mask on your face FIRST so you can *effectively* help everyone else (your children)...  

DO NOT SETTLE FOR SOMEONE WHO IS "SETTLING" FOR YOU.... your kids will know the difference, and so will your heart!   

- For what it's worth, as I do not know you, and technically this IS unsolicited advice - but wanted to send what I hope is some support for you in this difficult time...  you are young - 37 is young!  You have time to start over, if you want to...  believe it, and it will be so!

Blessings to you and yours....


----------



## Maverick2272

I gotta figure out how to change that.... I am 35 the birth year is suppose to be 1972 but instead I clicked 1970. Not that it matters, just realized it.

Thanks everyone for your support and the advice. She has agreed to more counseling and even some personal therapy of her own. For now I gotta just think about this some more, and see what the counseling and therapy bring once we/she starts it.


----------



## expatgirl

goodness, I was graduating from high school in 1972------shared my yearbook with my  daughter-in-law last night and she couldn't believe the long hair and mini skirts.........anyway lots of good advice here, Mav........up to you to decide what you're going to do........stop being a doormat and show her the door...at least for a while........and when she decides to be responsible  again and stop acting the way she is and I just know that you're going to be the one to possibly end up taking care of your children invite her back in if you still want her but I'm not kidding you there are so many  nice women out there looking for guys like you in your age group...you really don't need to just hang on to her unless you want to.......I am so reminded of the 1800's book Of Human Bondage by Thackeray.......look it up and see if I'm off the mark..........I just buzzed over his 3 pages of a description of a landscape. which ran throughout the book--sorry I'm ADD in that respect......boring......but what the book's theme was basically  a poor guy  with a club foot being abused by a woman..........and he still asked for more because he was afraid to let her go........it was a heart-rending story of a read but in the end he does find someone who really cares for the wonderful qualities he possesses........


----------



## buckytom

just some random thoughts, mav. you need a wake up call.

a woman who does and says crappy things to you and then says the reason she can't be honest with you because of some fault of yours is an emotional bully, and is **** up in some serious, deep ways. counseling for her is a start, but she's at the bottom of mount everest. don't get your hopes up.

a man who is kind, caring, and gentle is known as a gentleman, in my book. never think that you have to be a jerk to get respect. you don't want respect from people for that reason (unless it's for a good cause or it's funny ). again, to reinforce my first point, women who want to respect "bad guys" are really just immature if they're young, but at 35 it's just **** up.

playing amature psychoanalyst: i'd say somewhere in the twists and folds of their minds, a good percentage of women say they like bad guys. not the kind who like leather wearing, scruffy biker dudes (that i think you're thinking about), but guys who carry a certain suaveness about them, then treat the women who swoon over them like crap. AND they eat it up.
what she really is doing is punishing herself, some dimented way, for not having her life go the way she wanted in her dreams. she thinks it's some kind of failure on her part, and being in a relationship with a guy who turns them on but makes them cry somehow fulfills some very large, very dark corner of her psyche. 
a cutter should understand that. btw, that's equally **** up. i was completely with you, except for that.

ok, so here's the wake up call. YOU HAVE FREAKIN KIDS!!!!!!

they should be the focal point of anything the two of you selfish **** are thinking about. that's what you should be discussing. their mental and emotional beings, not yours. is it better you two figure this out together, or apart? sacrifice is the cornerstone of parenthood, so you'd both better get on the ball and retrain your efforts. 
if it's better for them that you should stay together, the BOTH of you should be working on that. boo hoo if neither of you got or ever get what you wanted. no one ever does.
we all rationalize our lives, and hopefully it's easy to see the good over the bad. children are the good; period. go from there.
but if it's better you two split, then get to it. get a lawyer, and work out the finances. but be ever mindful of how to make it as painless as possible for your kids. 


i'll apologize right now if you or anyone thinks that this was mean spirited. it was not meant that way. it's just that there kids involved in this equation, which makes the other parts negligible. remember, sacrifice is the operative word here.


----------



## babetoo

buckytom said:


> just some random thoughts, mav. you need a wake up call.
> 
> a woman who does and says crappy things to you and then says the reason she can't be honest with you because of some fault of yours is an emotional bully, and is **** up in some serious, deep ways. counseling for her is a start, but she's at the bottom of mount everest. don't get your hopes up.
> 
> a man who is kind, caring, and gentle is known as a gentleman, in my book. never think that you have to be a jerk to get respect. you don't want respect from people for that reason (unless it's for a good cause or it's funny ). again, to reinforce my first point, women who want to respect "bad guys" are really just immature if they're young, but at 35 it's just **** up.
> 
> playing amature psychoanalyst: i'd say somewhere in the twists and folds of their minds, a good percentage of women say they like bad guys. not the kind who like leather wearing, scruffy biker dudes (that i think you're thinking about), but guys who carry a certain suaveness about them, then treat the women who swoon over them like crap. AND they eat it up.
> what she really is doing is punishing herself, some dimented way, for not having her life go the way she wanted in her dreams. she thinks it's some kind of failure on her part, and being in a relationship with a guy who turns them on but makes them cry somehow fulfills some very large, very dark corner of her psyche.
> a cutter should understand that. btw, that's equally **** up. i was completely with you, except for that.
> 
> ok, so here's the wake up call. YOU HAVE FREAKIN KIDS!!!!!!
> 
> they should be the focal point of anything the two of you selfish **** are thinking about. that's what you should be discussing. their mental and emotional beings, not yours. is it better you two figure this out together, or apart? sacrifice is the cornerstone of parenthood, so you'd both better get on the ball and retrain your efforts.
> if it's better for them that you should stay together, the BOTH of you should be working on that. boo hoo if neither of you got or ever get what you wanted. no one ever does.
> we all rationalize our lives, and hopefully it's easy to see the good over the bad. children are the good; period. go from there.
> but if it's better you two split, then get to it. get a lawyer, and work out the finances. but be ever mindful of how to make it as painless as possible for your kids.
> 
> 
> i'll apologize right now if you or anyone thinks that this was mean spirited. it was not meant that way.


 
bucky you are absolutely right on. have wanted to say some of the things you did. 

kids count and need stability. they don't have that right now. so the adults need to get their act together and put kids first. i do not think you are mean spirited, sometimes things just need to be said.

babe


----------



## mikki

Mav- so sorry to hear that your going through all this please put your kids first,my kids are 16 and 19 and are now asking me why I am still married to their father, saying it would have been hard but probably better.
Now my vent, I posted a week and a half ago that my DD crashed her blazer, since it happened  hubby and I have been doing everything possible to get her a vehical. We found one last thurs. she put a deposit on it and on Friday I took my whole day to check on financing and insurance (she was working) anyway Sat. she came home from work at 2:30 and hubby told her to call the dealer and let him know we were still waiting to hear from the bank. We were working in the yard. She came out around 4:30-5:00 and asked where the number was. Of course I got mad because she didn't do it at 2:30 and asked her why she said she forgot. I asked her how she could forget from the porch to the house and that it wasn't an excuse. I then started back outside and heard her say something. I turned and said what? She says and I quote "you're annoying me". I flipped out and told her I would write down what she has to do to finalize the deal and if she didn't get it done, she would be walking. 
I think I'm more hurt then mad, I'm doing everything possible to help her. This isn't the first time she's done or said something like this. I guess I'm just going to have to use tough love on her and not make her life as easy as I have.


----------



## jpmcgrew

buckytom said:


> just some random thoughts, mav. you need a wake up call.
> 
> a woman who does and says crappy things to you and then says the reason she can't be honest with you because of some fault of yours is an emotional bully, and is **** up in some serious, deep ways. counseling for her is a start, but she's at the bottom of mount everest. don't get your hopes up.
> 
> a man who is kind, caring, and gentle is known as a gentleman, in my book. never think that you have to be a jerk to get respect. you don't want respect from people for that reason (unless it's for a good cause or it's funny ). again, to reinforce my first point, women who want to respect "bad guys" are really just immature if they're young, but at 35 it's just **** up.
> 
> playing amature psychoanalyst: i'd say somewhere in the twists and folds of their minds, a good percentage of women say they like bad guys. not the kind who like leather wearing, scruffy biker dudes (that i think you're thinking about), but guys who carry a certain suaveness about them, then treat the women who swoon over them like crap. AND they eat it up.
> what she really is doing is punishing herself, some dimented way, for not having her life go the way she wanted in her dreams. she thinks it's some kind of failure on her part, and being in a relationship with a guy who turns them on but makes them cry somehow fulfills some very large, very dark corner of her psyche.
> a cutter should understand that. btw, that's equally **** up. i was completely with you, except for that.
> 
> ok, so here's the wake up call. YOU HAVE FREAKIN KIDS!!!!!!
> 
> they should be the focal point of anything the two of you selfish **** are thinking about. that's what you should be discussing. their mental and emotional beings, not yours. is it better you two figure this out together, or apart? sacrifice is the cornerstone of parenthood, so you'd both better get on the ball and retrain your efforts.
> if it's better for them that you should stay together, the BOTH of you should be working on that. boo hoo if neither of you got or ever get what you wanted. no one ever does.
> we all rationalize our lives, and hopefully it's easy to see the good over the bad. children are the good; period. go from there.
> but if it's better you two split, then get to it. get a lawyer, and work out the finances. but be ever mindful of how to make it as painless as possible for your kids.
> 
> 
> i'll apologize right now if you or anyone thinks that this was mean spirited. it was not meant that way. it's just that there kids involved in this equation, which makes the other parts negligible. remember, sacrifice is the operative word here.


 BRAVO, BT for telling it like it is. You are just giving Mav some tough love and said some things I was afraid to say. I don't believe for a minute counseling is going to help this situation. A waste of money to yet again to try to change someone that can't be changed. As far as the kids my concern is that as they watch and feel whats going on this is how they will end up because they won't know anything else. If things don't change the kids will grow up to be just as dysfunctional.


----------



## Barb L.

Amen !!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

mikki said:


> Mav- so sorry to hear that your going through all this please put your kids first,my kids are 16 and 19 and are now asking me why I am still married to their father, saying it would have been hard but probably better.
> Now my vent, I posted a week and a half ago that my DD crashed her blazer, since it happened  hubby and I have been doing everything possible to get her a vehical. We found one last thurs. she put a deposit on it and on Friday I took my whole day to check on financing and insurance (she was working) anyway Sat. she came home from work at 2:30 and hubby told her to call the dealer and let him know we were still waiting to hear from the bank. We were working in the yard. She came out around 4:30-5:00 and asked where the number was. Of course I got mad because she didn't do it at 2:30 and asked her why she said she forgot. I asked her how she could forget from the porch to the house and that it wasn't an excuse. I then started back outside and heard her say something. I turned and said what? She says and I quote "you're annoying me". I flipped out and told her I would write down what she has to do to finalize the deal and if she didn't get it done, she would be walking.
> I think I'm more hurt then mad, I'm doing everything possible to help her. This isn't the first time she's done or said something like this. I guess I'm just going to have to use tough love on her and not make her life as easy as I have.


Which DD is it? 16 year olds are just plain flaky sometimes. It's like they are on a different planet from one minute to the next. One day, they can make you so proud you could burst because of their maturity and wisdom. Then the next day, you wonder who this kid is and how she manages to walk and chew gum at the same time. Plus, at 16 and 19, they are part adult and part kid and when it comes to dealing with their parents, they have a hard time not falling back on the kid behavior - thinking mom and dad should take care of everything for them. Sorry she hurt your feelings but I think you handled it right - tell her what she needs to do and spell out the consequences if she doesn't.


----------



## Maverick2272

I don't see where I am being a selfish B****rd, I have always put my kids first and sacrificed a lot for them. They have no idea she cheated or that she has said these things to me. I leave them out of as much as possible and shelter them from as much of it as possible.
Their biggest complaint is they feel their mom puts her business and clients before them, other than that they are happy and well adjusted (this is according to DCFS which I brought in in 04). Their teachers like them, their friends like them, even the principle likes Mitch and she is a crusty lady that doesn't seem to like anyone.
There is obviously going to be counseling needed with them concerning their mother and things she has done in the past, but my concern right now is what is best for them now.
Does this signal a return to her old ways and therefore should I leave before it gets worse and begins to effect the kids again? Or is this just something that remains between us and we co-habitate while raising the kids? Is that even possible without them picking up on it?
Katie says she is OK with a divorce, but deep down does not want one. Mitch thinks his mother puts her clients before him, but does not want a divorce either. I can live with never having someone that loves me the way I love them, but I won't sacrifice the kids to get what I want.
I wanted a career, I gave that up to be a stay at home dad with a part time job because she couldn't be a mother let alone a stay at home mom. I cut my parents out of my life because they were being toxic and involving the kids in their problems. Same for her parents, her sister, my brother. We needed more money but I refused to go full time and neglect the kids for the sake of more money. It is nice buying them cool toys and memberships to zoos and museums and arboretums but I have always made sure it was never at the cost of the most important thing: Time with the kids.
This is between me and her, and that is where I am keeping it. I was caught off guard by what she said, and had no one to talk to so I let it out in here. But I am not letting the kids in on it, and my final decision will be based on what is best for them.
I am sorry I vented in here, my apologies. I will just keep things like this between my therapist and myself from now on out. It obviously was not an appropriate topic to bring into a cooking forum, so lets just drop it and move on as I am sure there are plenty of others that need to vent.


----------



## babetoo

Maverick2272 said:


> I don't see where I am being a selfish B****rd, I have always put my kids first and sacrificed a lot for them. They have no idea she cheated or that she has said these things to me. I leave them out of as much as possible and shelter them from as much of it as possible.
> Their biggest complaint is they feel their mom puts her business and clients before them, other than that they are happy and well adjusted (this is according to DCFS which I brought in in 04). Their teachers like them, their friends like them, even the principle likes Mitch and she is a crusty lady that doesn't seem to like anyone.
> There is obviously going to be counseling needed with them concerning their mother and things she has done in the past, but my concern right now is what is best for them now.
> Does this signal a return to her old ways and therefore should I leave before it gets worse and begins to effect the kids again? Or is this just something that remains between us and we co-habituate while raising the kids? Is that even possible without them picking up on it?
> Katie says she is OK with a divorce, but deep down does not want one. Mitch thinks his mother puts her clients before him, but does not want a divorce either. I can live with never having someone that loves me the way I love them, but I won't sacrifice the kids to get what I want.
> I wanted a career, I gave that up to be a stay at home dad with a part time job because she couldn't be a mother let alone a stay at home mom. I cut my parents out of my life because they were being toxic and involving the kids in their problems. Same for her parents, her sister, my brother. We needed more money but I refused to go full time and neglect the kids for the sake of more money. It is nice buying them cool toys and memberships to zoos and museums and arboretums but I have always made sure it was never at the cost of the most important thing: Time with the kids.
> This is between me and her, and that is where I am keeping it. I was caught off guard by what she said, and had no one to talk to so I let it out in here. But I am not letting the kids in on it, and my final decision will be based on what is best for them.
> I am sorry I vented in here, my apologies. I will just keep things like this between my therapist and myself from now on out. It obviously was not an appropriate topic to bring into a cooking forum, so lets just drop it and move on as I am sure there are plenty of others that need to vent.


you would be surprised how much your kids know . they have eyes, ears and can feel the tension. 

i think for their benefit and yours, you need to bail. you might be surprised how some of your complaints about health , will just go away. toxic is the right word, but applies to you personally as well. both u and kids deserve more from life, than  just cohabiting.

babe
ps, no one minds if you vent but are entitled to their opinion when you do.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Mav, I don't think anybody is suggesting you are a bad parent or hashing all of this out in front of your kids. If people thought that, they wouldn't bother replying because no one would think it would do any good.

Sometimes it takes a friend or friends to help you see the forest, not just the trees. I promise your kids are suffering as much as you are but they will never tell you. I know this from experience. And kids always manage to find a way to make everything their fault. You can't change your wife and you can't make her get her crap together, even for the sake of the kids. But you can be the parent who says enough is enough and insists on immediate changes or moves on for the kids' sake.

I hope you don't choose to take offense at this because, like BT, Babe and JP, I don't mean it in an offensive way. I'm assuming you wanted some additional input on the situation and that's why you posted.


----------



## jpmcgrew

babetoo said:


> you would be surprised how much your kids know . they have eyes, ears and can feel the tension.
> 
> i think for their benefit and yours, you need to bail. you might be surprised how some of your complaints about health , will just go away. toxic is the right word, but applies to you personally as well. both u and kids deserve more from life, that just cohabiting.
> 
> babe
> ps, no one minds if you vent but are entitled to their opinion when you do.


 
I hafto agree kids know a lot more than you think. I don't think you are a selfish ******* But I can see how hard it is for you , you and dw have lived with all this stuff before you even got together so it's harder so see what we here can see. Just like me it's hard to realize this is not the way to live. I went to co-dependant meetings but got tired of them because all they were is people sitting around complaining about their lives. Most of us have been through something like this at one time or another. I did not have to post about my mother it's not something I care to bring up. I did because I also had feelings of obligation to her and others etc. I think that maybe you should read all your posts again but read them as if it was not from you but that they were from someone else. Then think about what you would say to that person. Really read them again as it was from someone else and you will see how quickly it all adds up. If your therapist/counselor doesn't teach you why you put up with this then you will never get! I used to read all kinds of books on codependency and honestly never got much out of them most of them are a bunch of crap. Then I found this book and it saved my life it's simple to understand and it's a short read. If you do separate you need to learn how not to get in the same situation again with the same kind of person.
You can get this book on Ebay for as little as $2.00 it's called    Love Is A Choice. I really recommend getting it it will open up your eyes and teach you why you choose to stay like this.


----------



## texasgirl

Started on new meds Saturday morning. Told me to take the Dyazide alone for a week, just to see if it worked for all problems without the Beta blockers, wonderful, I'm ready to try it!! Yesterday, started having chest pains, same as I got when I tried stopping Atenolol, like a pulled muscle. Painful, but, not crushing. Okay, so, I go ahead and take a Coreg last night cause I didn't get the Verapamil filled, in case the Dyazide worked alone. This morning, dizzy and vomiting, headache, bp went up again and chest pains enough I came home, I NEVER come home from work. Called Dr. office. Was told to just stop all and use the Coreg again. THAT DIDN'T WORK BEFORE, WHY IS IT ALL OF A SUDDEN GONNA START NOW!! I am angry and upset that this what I have to settle for!
My opinion, my Verapimil worked wonderfully with palps, never had one while on it or pain, the coreg was good with bp, but, not the palps or chest pain, Dyazide was good for fluid but nothing else.
I think I am going to begin with the Verapmil and the Dyazide like he wanted me to do in a week if the Dyazide didn't work. I think this morning the sickness came from the chest pain from not having beta blocker, then the bp came from pain, headache came from bp and the dizziness came from the headache. That is my opinion and that is what the dr said to do after a week anyway, so, I'm gonna try it and see for myself. If it doesn' work, then, I will stop and call them again.


----------



## Mama

Maverick2272 said:


> I don't see where I am being a selfish B****rd, I have always put my kids first and sacrificed a lot for them. They have no idea she cheated or that she has said these things to me. I leave them out of as much as possible and shelter them from as much of it as possible.
> Their biggest complaint is they feel their mom puts her business and clients before them, other than that they are happy and well adjusted (this is according to DCFS which I brought in in 04). Their teachers like them, their friends like them, even the principle likes Mitch and she is a crusty lady that doesn't seem to like anyone.
> There is obviously going to be counseling needed with them concerning their mother and things she has done in the past, but my concern right now is what is best for them now.
> Does this signal a return to her old ways and therefore should I leave before it gets worse and begins to effect the kids again? Or is this just something that remains between us and we co-habitate while raising the kids? Is that even possible without them picking up on it?
> Katie says she is OK with a divorce, but deep down does not want one. Mitch thinks his mother puts her clients before him, but does not want a divorce either. I can live with never having someone that loves me the way I love them, but I won't sacrifice the kids to get what I want.
> I wanted a career, I gave that up to be a stay at home dad with a part time job because she couldn't be a mother let alone a stay at home mom. I cut my parents out of my life because they were being toxic and involving the kids in their problems. Same for her parents, her sister, my brother. We needed more money but I refused to go full time and neglect the kids for the sake of more money. It is nice buying them cool toys and memberships to zoos and museums and arboretums but I have always made sure it was never at the cost of the most important thing: Time with the kids.
> This is between me and her, and that is where I am keeping it. I was caught off guard by what she said, and had no one to talk to so I let it out in here. But I am not letting the kids in on it, and my final decision will be based on what is best for them.
> I am sorry I vented in here, my apologies. I will just keep things like this between my therapist and myself from now on out. It obviously was not an appropriate topic to bring into a cooking forum, so lets just drop it and move on as I am sure there are plenty of others that need to vent.


 
Mav,

Please don't think anyone is picking on you. Real friends will tell you the truth, not what they think you want to hear. 

As far as it being between you and her, I think you are wrong there. If you are asking the kids about whether or not they would approve of a divorce, they are very much involved and they know it goes much deeper that just the time she spends at work.

Although she may not be doing it yet, there may be one thing you might want to keep in mind, when she tires of using you for a doormat or gets to a point where that isn't enough, who do you think she is going to start picking on next?

You're best bet is to start thinking with your head instead of your heart. Why don't you try a seperation and see if she gets the much needed help she needs and changes. That way it will be easier on the kids too. If you do decide to make it permanent, the kids will have adjusted.

Just a thought!


----------



## dogbaker

*sewing challenged*

My sympathies on bobbin roulette .My sewing machine hates me and I know it. Once in a while it lets me do something without a argument


----------



## babetoo

dogbaker said:


> My sympathies on bobbin roulette .My sewing machine hates me and I know it. Once in a while it lets me do something without a argument


 
is it just me ? or maybe you posted this in wrong place?

babe


----------



## Fisher's Mom

babetoo said:


> is it just me ? or maybe you posted this in wrong place?
> 
> babe


I wondered too, Babe, but then I thought how it ruins my day when my sewing machines misbehave and it makes me want to vent, too. I dunno, but the OP has my sympathies!


----------



## dogbaker

I had clicked to reply to a thread about venting that started out with a complaint about bobbins,however I think this changed by the time I replied.


----------



## dogbaker

my vent at this moment is my hard candy recipe won't setup can't figure out why all of a sudden this is happening


----------



## buckytom

mav, again, i'm sorry you seem to have taken offense to my post.

i thought about it afterwards, and figured that you were probably the one who would be making the most sacrifices.

but you mentioned your kids in your original vent as an afterthought. to quote "And then there's the kids". i just thought you might need, like i said, a wake up call to make sure you have your priorities straight as you wallow in yoiur self pity.

now, i hope you understand the reason i'm being so harsh about this is that i've been through almost the same exact things. except that it was before we had our son. but a lot of that stuff carried over.

while i wallowed, my dad talked to me just the way i wrote to you. looking back, i realized that i really needed it. lol, in fact, my post sounds an awful lot like i _became_ my dad for a few minutes there.

anyway, the point i was making that seems to have been lost is that the ONLY important matter is that you need to provide a stable environment for your kids, at all times. if your wife is that messed up, you might have to bite the bullet and force this issue.

the worst part is that you can't ask your kids what they want. as you've said, they don't know the entire situation, and will (should) never know the pain in your heart from it. you are going to have to do this by yourself. (btw, we all carry around baggage in our hearts. it's about how you deal with it, and hopefully let it go in time)

co-habitating is something that never works, from my experiences. ok, well, it may for some people, but not when there's been truely hurtful things done and said. it would be difficult to stay together even if she was apologizing and trying to make up for it, nevermind continuing to say worse things.
and once a cheater, always a cheater. 

so, that's my 2 cents. i will respect your wishes to let this go, if you want. but realize that everyone who responded to your vent had your best intentions in mind, and are trying to be supportive, myself included.

you have a tough road ahead, so if you need someone to talk to you like my dad does, you know i'm here.


----------



## Alix

dogbaker said:


> I had clicked to reply to a thread about venting that started out with a complaint about bobbins,however I think this changed by the time I replied.



No dogbaker, you're right on. I am the OP and when I started this thread I was about ready to dropkick my sewing machine into the neighbours yard. Thanks for the sympathies!


----------



## Saphellae

It's hard for anyone to give advice about something like that, Mav.  You have to go with your gut feeling, no matter what your heart is telling you.  Will she do it again?  The kids will eventually pick up that something is wrong later in life if something like this happens again - they'll see the relationship between you and your wife and think that it is normal - it may damage any of their future relationships.  Think about what's best for the kids in the long run - but also what's best for you, and her.  If it's going to be a lifetime of history repeating itself, save your entire family the trouble - even if you love her, love is not doing what she did.

Just to add.. My best friend has been with the same man for almost 20 years.  They have two children together and are married. He has cheated on her numerous times, and she has stayed.  After the last time, late last year, she has been unhappy and does not feel the same about him.  She is staying with him for the kids - that's all.  I can see how unhappy she is and I am always urging her to go, but she won't.  Her life is miserable at times and sometimes she can't even look at him.  I'm not sure about your entire situation, as nobody but you does, but from an outsiders point of view, do you really think she will change in the long run if she hasn't now?


----------



## Alix

Wow. Maverick, PM me if you want to talk more, but in the meantime take a deep breath and focus. Reread what has been said to you. Then find a quiet moment and really think about some things. What is the BEST solution for your kids that you can live with? Its clear from your posts that you put your kids first, its also clear if you are seeing a therapist for cutting etc that you are working through some of your own stuff. What can you manage? What are you teaching your kids either way? If you stay in this relationship, you need to be open and honest with your wife that you are there for the kids and you need to present a united front for them. If you leave, you need to make sure the kids understand whats up. Kids are most vulnerable to a parental separation from about 10 - 15 or so. It really screws them up. Tough balancing act. Kids welfare on one side you on the other. Someone with your gentle and generous heart doesn't deserve this. I think you also know what decision you need to make. Please talk to BT, he really does know what he is talking about. You are more alike than you know and I think he could really help you work through some of this. 

(BT, sorry to throw you out there without asking first, but I know you well enough to know you'll be OK with it. If not...send me some of that goose turd you love so much!)


----------



## buckytom

no prob, alix.

you just have to give me a minute to get into my "dad" routine. (a grizzled, old, wwii veteran/firefighter/writer).


----------



## Alix

buckytom said:


> no prob, alix.
> 
> you just have to give me a minute to get into my "dad" routine. (a grisled, old, wwii veteran/firefighter/writer).



Holy cow, you just described my Dad. WWII navy vet. We called him a curmudgeon. Biggest marshmallow in the world under that gruff exterior though.


----------



## pacanis

OK. How stupid is this?
I made an appt to get my vehicle inspected today. I was told to drop it off at noon and it would take about an hour. So, I had someone pick me up and I took them to lunch. She dropped me off 15 minutes ago to pick up my vehicle, or so I thought.
They were JUST STARTING ON IT! When I walked in the mechanic said, we take lunch from 12 to 1:00, we're just starting. Well then why did you tell me to drop it off at noon then?! How stupid is that?!
So I've got his truck so I could get back home and tend to some things, but I just had to vent here first.....

Thank you


----------



## LadyCook61

Nothing major , just frustrated that I saw 2 blue herons fly past and didn't get a photo of them.  It is the first time I've seen two at one time .


----------



## babetoo

i am mad at the handyman. and he is not even working for me. lol

supposed to be working for man next door on his porch. he took a three day week-end. yesterday he spent most of his time asleep sitting up on my sofa. left early. no see em today at all. 

at least he is consistent.

babe


----------



## dogbaker

Alix said:


> No dogbaker, you're right on. I am the OP and when I started this thread I was about ready to dropkick my sewing machine into the neighbours yard. Thanks for the sympathies!


my stepmother was a wiz with sewing machines and could operate any of them .Now I have a featherweight old singer and it is as simple as it gets. i still manage to get frustrated. I would sew more if it was not for the mechanical challenges. 
nice to meet you and know I am not alone .


----------



## Barbara L

pacanis said:


> OK. How stupid is this?
> I made an appt to get my vehicle inspected today. I was told to drop it off at noon and it would take about an hour. So, I had someone pick me up and I took them to lunch. She dropped me off 15 minutes ago to pick up my vehicle, or so I thought.
> They were JUST STARTING ON IT! When I walked in the mechanic said, we take lunch from 12 to 1:00, we're just starting. Well then why did you tell me to drop it off at noon then?!...


They needed a vehicle to drive to lunch in!  That's how they save on gas!

Barbara


----------



## Maverick2272

dogbaker said:


> my stepmother was a wiz with sewing machines and could operate any of them .Now I have a featherweight old singer and it is as simple as it gets. i still manage to get frustrated. I would sew more if it was not for the mechanical challenges.
> nice to meet you and know I am not alone .



I have an old Singer as well, in great condition in one of those antique desks with the swing out extension and hidden drawer in the side. I can never seem to quite get the hang of it on a consistent basis and I was a good sewer in high school.
The neighbor was a seamstress, and was going to help us with it and teach us a few things but never did get around to it.
But yea, I can certainly relate to the frustration sometimes.


----------



## Maverick2272

Barbara L said:


> They needed a vehicle to drive to lunch in!  That's how they save on gas!
> 
> Barbara





Reminds of Feris Beuller's Day Off, when he parked that beautiful Corvette downtown and they took it for a joyride!


----------



## LPBeier

Okay, another car vent.

Our car broke down on Saturday and friends of ours who we sold our old car to lent is back to us and we are actually thinking of buying it back from them as they now have more vehicles than they need and our other car is probably beyond repair.

We own a townhouse and have two parking stalls.  DH was driving the kids to a BBQ around 3 and then came home and parked in the secondary stall as he has been all weekend and as he parked the same car before we sold it in October.

There has been a blitz of towing vehicles that are parked in front of the buildings, even for 5 minutes to unload groceries or to load up for a move.  

A friend came over for dinner and a movie and DH was about to drive her home and pick up DD and her hubby.  Well, I got off the phone with DD and it wrang again real quick....it was DH from the parking lot telling me that the car was not in the stall.  He phones the towing company and they towed it because it was unauthorized.  If they tow from a stall they have to check with the owners of the stall and obviously they didn't.  It will be $86.00 to get it out.

We called the police and they said if it was towed by the towing company they can't do anything about it because it wasn't "stolen", even though it was.  We called our management office's emergency number and they said they can only deal with fires and break-ins (don't we have police and firemen to deal with those?).  we have to wait until 9:00 to talk to the manager.  DH starts work at 8:00 am and uses the car for work.  I have my very important doctor's appointment in the late morning.

I am so mad right now which is not helping my pain levels very much.  We used to like where we live but it is seeming that we are more like renters than owners.


----------



## Maverick2272

That can be complicated to deal with. Hopefully the manager can help you out as he should have some pull with the towing company.
Otherwise, I don't know what you would call it in your courts, but here you would have to take the towing company to small claims court to get your $86 back on the grounds they did not check with the owner of the stall prior to towing.
It is also the same stance I would take with the manager, that since they did not check with you they are in the wrong and should release the vehicle back to you with no charge or he can reconsider their business arrangement.
Hope you are able to work it out.


----------



## LPBeier

Okay, manger of building says that she personally went out and identified the "wrongly parked vehicle" for the tow truck driver and told him to remove it.  The person who has the stall next to ours where DH allegedly parks says he was gone all day and didn't lodge a complaint.  When we just pulled into the stall now (car is back $86.50 later) I said to DH there is no way he could get it wrong and he agreed.  We already know that the manager lies and bends the rules to suit herself.  We have a sign in the window asking if anyone can verify which stall the car was in around the time it was towed.

This has really shaken DH up because he knows he didn't do anything wrong and yet everyone is pointing the finger at him (manager, towing company) and that is what I am most mad at.  The money hurts, but it is just money.


----------



## Saphellae

That would really tick me off LP, I hate people like that.


----------



## Maverick2272

If you have a small claims style court, I would pay the small fee and file against her for the $86.50. Not her company or the tow company, just her personally. If you claim the vehicle was properly parked and she claims it wasn't, she actually has to prove it was not properly parked to justify the tow otherwise she looses.
She might try to argue she acted on behalf of the management company, but you can counter that since she did not contact either you or the owner of the other stall prior to towing she was not acting in accordance with the rules and therefore acting on her own.
You won't get all your money back, you may not win, but she may think twice about messing around with this again. Plus, I would pass fliers around to all the residents detailing what she is doing and warning them against her behavior.
Maybe even start a petition asking for her removal. Non of this gets your money back and it may not even get you anywhere, but I am sure you will feel better for standing up for yourself and giving her something to think about in the future.


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks, Buddy.  We put a note on our car and actually got someone who saw it get towed respond.  He said that there was no car in 248 when the manager and tow truck got there so she (manager) said "tow this one, I don't think it belongs".  We got him to put it in writing, and the manager forked over the $86.50 out of her own pocket pretty quickly.

Well, this is another wrap-up to a previous vent of mine regarding my health.  I saw the surgeon yesterday and he asked what I wanted to do.  I said I was leaning toward the replacment because I just wanted it done and over with and didn't like the odds with the scope.  He talked some more saying that we would know in 6 months whether the scope would work (50/50 chance) and I could have one every two years until I was "old enough" for the replacement.  I reluctantly agreed to this but when I was filling out the forms it just didn't feel right.  I was feeling like I was settling.  We asked the receptionist how long a wait for the 2 procedures and she said August for the scope (not the two weeks he had quoted before) and September or early October for the replacement.

I said I wanted to think about it and so was going to leave and call when I was ready.  But she talked to the doctor who had me back in and he said he would do either procedure but wanted ME to be sure.  So it ended with me signing both consent forms and calling in next Monday with the answer.  Well, I am calling in today because I have thought, talked, prayed and researched and am at peace with having the replacement done and out of the way.  Yes, I will have to have it done again in 15 - 20 years, but that is 15-20 years of guaranteed relief, not 6 months to two years of maybes.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers on this.  It means I still have to wait in pain, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel and it looks real good!


----------



## TanyaK

LPBeier said:


> Thanks, Buddy.  We put a note on our car and actually got someone who saw it get towed respond.  He said that there was no car in 248 when the manager and tow truck got there so she (manager) said "tow this one, I don't think it belongs".  We got him to put it in writing, and the manager forked over the $86.50 out of her own pocket pretty quickly.
> 
> Well, this is another wrap-up to a previous vent of mine regarding my health.  I saw the surgeon yesterday and he asked what I wanted to do.  I said I was leaning toward the replacment because I just wanted it done and over with and didn't like the odds with the scope.  He talked some more saying that we would know in 6 months whether the scope would work (50/50 chance) and I could have one every two years until I was "old enough" for the replacement.  I reluctantly agreed to this but when I was filling out the forms it just didn't feel right.  I was feeling like I was settling.  We asked the receptionist how long a wait for the 2 procedures and she said August for the scope (not the two weeks he had quoted before) and September or early October for the replacement.
> 
> I said I wanted to think about it and so was going to leave and call when I was ready.  But she talked to the doctor who had me back in and he said he would do either procedure but wanted ME to be sure.  So it ended with me signing both consent forms and calling in next Monday with the answer.  Well, I am calling in today because I have thought, talked, prayed and researched and am at peace with having the replacement done and out of the way.  Yes, I will have to have it done again in 15 - 20 years, but that is 15-20 years of guaranteed relief, not 6 months to two years of maybes.
> 
> Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers on this.  It means I still have to wait in pain, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel and it looks real good!



Laurie - I'm glad you were able to make a decision difficult as it was. It is so frustrating dealing with doctors. My mom went into hospital on Tuesday and they're only operating this coming Tuesday as the doctor says they need to give her medication to try and shrink the tumor so that the risk is less. But why does this take a whole week ? ? ? But apparently the doctor is very good so I suppose he knows what he's doing.


----------



## miniman

Hi Laurie - glad things are taking a turn for the better. Prayers for a much pain reduced future (I agree with the replacement - a better quality of life especially if you are the wrong side of the 50% on the scope.

Tanya - I guess it takes a week for the medication to work on the tumour - hopefully reducing it so it is not tight in with the matter around it so less risk of unnedded damage to tissue.


----------



## LPBeier

TanyaK said:


> Laurie - I'm glad you were able to make a decision difficult as it was. It is so frustrating dealing with doctors. My mom went into hospital on Tuesday and they're only operating this coming Tuesday as the doctor says they need to give her medication to try and shrink the tumor so that the risk is less. But why does this take a whole week ? ? ? But apparently the doctor is very good so I suppose he knows what he's doing.


 
Tanya, I am so sorry about this wait for your Mom's tumor.  Medications do take time to work and I am sure they know what they are doing but I totally understand how the waiting game seems sensless...like the three weeks I had to wait just to make this decision.  I will keep both you and your Mom in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Awww, Tanya, this week must be so hard for you. FWIW, I have heard it's an advantage to shrink a tumor in the brain very quickly just before surgery. I think the goal is to get maximum shrinkage in a short period of time - before the surrounding tissues have a chance to expand and grow around it. It makes it easier to remove the entire tumor with the least amount of damage to healthy brain tissue which equals less chance of residual damage. That sounds like a very good thing but it doesn't make the week long wait any shorter. How's your mom doing? Is the medicine to shrink the tumor making her sick? How are you holding up?


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Laurie, I'm so glad he offered you the option and that you are at peace with your decision. (I think that's the choice I would have made, too.) The hard part is waiting til September or October! Was he able to give you any more/different meds for pain?


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks FM, I will PM you later with all details but I am in the middle of trying to get a wedding cake done for tomorrow (with DH and DD's help).  No, he did not want to change my meds but offered other suggestions.


----------



## expatgirl

Latest vent---traveling------ extra hours delay on Wed is the topic--DH  informed by Lufthansa that I don't have to arrive at the airport until 3 hours later (going bacK to KZ by the way)  as the flight is 6 hours delayed......I arrive and  am informed that cause I arrived so late and that the flight is "OVERBOOKED"  though it's still 6 hours delayed that I no longer have my reserved aisle seat that I had had for the past 3 months and will have to take care of it at the boarding gate.  "Au Contrare" I combatted, it is NOT my fault that your people in KZ can't coordinate with the people in Frankfort........I need an aisle seat as I have a very painful bladder disease and then I start to cry.........well, we now have 3 people including the headmistresss typing away on their computers.......suddenly and VOILA!!! I actually have my original seating assignment.........What the H--- is going on?????  Did the check in people not want to deal with it and just  wanted to throw me to the gate people to handle it????  People were standiing in line at the boarding gate when I finally got there with my cherished boarding pass in hand----would one of them have been given my aisle seat had I not bolted up the pasture baying at the moon  at the reservation gate????  Oh, well I got safe and soundly home and am totally up and wide awake at 2am in the morning.......glad to be back, though


----------



## TanyaK

Fisher's Mom said:


> Awww, Tanya, this week must be so hard for you. FWIW, I have heard it's an advantage to shrink a tumor in the brain very quickly just before surgery. I think the goal is to get maximum shrinkage in a short period of time - before the surrounding tissues have a chance to expand and grow around it. It makes it easier to remove the entire tumor with the least amount of damage to healthy brain tissue which equals less chance of residual damage. That sounds like a very good thing but it doesn't make the week long wait any shorter. How's your mom doing? Is the medicine to shrink the tumor making her sick? How are you holding up?



The medication isn't making her sick - just weak and "out of it" . I'm OK thanks - just wishing that it's Tuesday already !


----------



## expatgirl

So sorry to hear that, TanyaK.  It's good that she has you to lean on and suppot her.  I've taken medications that made you feel "out of it" and it's not a geat feeling.  Hope she feels better soon.


----------



## TanyaK

expatgirl said:


> So sorry to hear that, TanyaK.  It's good that she has you to lean on and suppot her.  I've taken medications that made you feel "out of it" and it's not a geat feeling.  Hope she feels better soon.



Thanks expatgirl ! Fortunately my sister and brother all live close by so we can all support her,my dad and each other as well.


----------



## babetoo

well i finally had to call the police on my loud neighbors. it has been on going, loud music in yard, loud voices from alcohol. 

i have put up with it for six months. i think they are running a lawn business out of the house(illegal) . it seems to be the workers from that, getting paid, whatever , who knows. 

it lasted til i got fed up last night at ten thirty . i called and they said they would send someone. about fifteen minutes the party shut down. 

i would have gone over long before this to ask them to quiet down, but they don't speak english. plus not eager to confront eight or so drunken men. 

police said any time, no matter the time, if it disturbs me it is illegal. makes me feel like a crabby old lady. but i do think i waited long enough.

thanks for the vent. 

babe


----------



## LadyCook61

babetoo said:


> well i finally had to call the police on my loud neighbors. it has been on going, loud music in yard, loud voices from alcohol.
> 
> i have put up with it for six months. i think they are running a lawn business out of the house(illegal) . it seems to be the workers from that, getting paid, whatever , who knows.
> 
> it lasted til i got fed up last night at ten thirty . i called and they said they would send someone. about fifteen minutes the party shut down.
> 
> i would have gone over long before this to ask them to quiet down, but they don't speak english. plus not eager to confront eight or so drunken men.
> 
> police said any time, no matter the time, if it disturbs me it is illegal. makes me feel like a crabby old lady. but i do think i waited long enough.
> 
> thanks for the vent.
> 
> babe


 
babetoo, you're not a crabby old lady, you have a right to peace and quiet .  It was a good idea to call the police and not go to the neighbors in person.  
LC


----------



## babetoo

LadyCook61 said:


> babetoo, you're not a crabby old lady, you have a right to peace and quiet . It was a good idea to call the police and not go to the neighbors in person.
> LC


 

thanks lady, that is what i thought.

babe


----------



## texasgirl

babetoo said:


> well i finally had to call the police on my loud neighbors. it has been on going, loud music in yard, loud voices from alcohol.
> 
> i have put up with it for six months. i think they are running a lawn business out of the house(illegal) . it seems to be the workers from that, getting paid, whatever , who knows.
> 
> it lasted til i got fed up last night at ten thirty . i called and they said they would send someone. about fifteen minutes the party shut down.
> 
> i would have gone over long before this to ask them to quiet down, but they don't speak english. plus not eager to confront eight or so drunken men.
> 
> police said any time, no matter the time, if it disturbs me it is illegal. makes me feel like a crabby old lady. but i do think i waited long enough.
> 
> thanks for the vent.
> 
> babe


 
That's not crabby!! I would have called a long time ago
I'm glad you did and if it goes again, just pick up the phone. DO NOT go over there by any means!! You don't need to be putting yourself in danger over noise. Just call the police and let them handle the idiots.


----------



## LPBeier

Babe, I think if that is being crabby you better do it more often 

Seriously, you have every right to peace and quiet and you were very correct in not going over there yourself.  That's what police are for.


----------



## Mama

Their rights ended when they infringed upon yours!  You did the right thing!


----------



## buckytom

babe, i'm sure there are regulations in your town for "quiet times".

they are most often from 10pm to 6 or 8am, depending on the town. unfortunately, the neighbors are allowed to be fairly loud until 10 (possibly earlier in your community), but then by law they have to shut it down. even during the "loud" hours, it can't be unreasonable.
the best thing you can do is befriend the cops, maybe make them a plate of cupcakes as a thank you for helping you out. the next time these guys get loud when you want a little quiet, no matter what the time, the cops will be your volume control. 

i, unfortunately, have the opposite problem. my new, non-english speaking [polish neighbors are running a kitchen cabinet business out of their garage, and there's no way he got zoning variances for it. when i get home after a midnight shift, i have to listen to mitre saws and nail guns all day long while i'm trying to get a little sleep.


----------



## expatgirl

As tough as Texas is------when it comes to knocking on doors the police have their hands tied.......if the teens decide not to answer the door in reference to noise,  disorderly conduct, etc., and most of the most disorderly (our darling neighbors for one) know this they don't answer the door.  Nothing the police can do about it unless they get a special court-ordered document which will support that drugs are on the premises or guns, etc., very difficult to get and from a judge........I know because my son is now a cop and so is our  next door neighbor.  Fortunately, our little hellions across the street have grown up.  Still the young man remains at home and for all sakes and appearances seems to be dabbling in something illegal.......he's unemployed though he did try to get into the military service and was turned down and cars are coming and going all the time esp. on the weekends.......so who knows......babetoo, move over, Crabby 2 is joining you!!


----------



## LPBeier

Car vent round 3!!!

So guess what.  The manager has our own car, which is parked in our primary spot (right out in front of our townhouse) towed at 11:00 last night because it is in non-working condition.  She knows this because DH mentioned our car had broken down and that is why we borrowed our old car back....the one she had towed from our other spot by mistake and had to fork over the $86.50 out of her own pocket.  What she doesn't know is this car is in fact in running condition.  It does need some more work and we have NOT been doing it on site.  We have been driving it to our friends and back again so it DOES run.  So, she will now have to fork over another 86.50 and I have written a very long letter to the strata board outlining the whole thing and how she is singling us out personally.


----------



## texasgirl

LPBeier said:


> Car vent round 3!!!
> 
> So guess what. The manager has our own car, which is parked in our primary spot (right out in front of our townhouse) towed at 11:00 last night because it is in non-working condition. She knows this because DH mentioned our car had broken down and that is why we borrowed our old car back....the one she had towed from our other spot by mistake and had to fork over the $86.50 out of her own pocket. What she doesn't know is this car is in fact in running condition. It does need some more work and we have NOT been doing it on site. We have been driving it to our friends and back again so it DOES run. So, she will now have to fork over another 86.50 and I have written a very long letter to the strata board outlining the whole thing and how she is singling us out personally.


 

What a pain for you, but oh oh oh, how funny that she didn't learn the first time!!


----------



## babetoo

expatgirl said:


> As tough as Texas is------when it comes to knocking on doors the police have their hands tied.......if the teens decide not to answer the door in reference to noise, disorderly conduct, etc., and most of the most disorderly (our darling neighbors for one) know this they don't answer the door. Nothing the police can do about it unless they get a special court-ordered document which will support that drugs are on the premises or guns, etc., very difficult to get and from a judge........I know because my son is now a cop and so is our next door neighbor. Fortunately, our little hellions across the street have grown up. Still the young man remains at home and for all sakes and appearances seems to be dabbling in something illegal.......he's unemployed though he did try to get into the military service and was turned down and cars are coming and going all the time esp. on the weekends.......so who knows......babetoo, move over, Crabby 2 is joining you!!


 

go for it. things were all quiet last night, i thought they would have a fourth of july party. have no clue if it was the cops or just simply went to fireworks, or ?  anyway i enjoyed the quiet. 

babe


----------



## expatgirl

Babetoo, thank goodness you had peace and quiet on July 4th of all days.......guess your neighbors were partying elsewhere more than likely and driving some other crab crazy   Crabs raise your claws and UNITE----we're backing up and don't get in our way cause we can't see you!!!........


And LP that's one lovely landlady you've got there---my condoloences--our landlady is a doll..........have you had a little chinwag with her to find out what's the problem?  Are other tenants complaining?  I would think that  she'd get tired of making $87 donations for no reason.........as long as she is I do have an address that she can send them to............


----------



## LPBeier

We supposedly own our townhouse.  We paid for it and pay monthly maintenance fees just like any other strata complex.  The big difference is that this complex in on leasehold land (with 84 years left on the 99 year lease).  As such the selling price was lower; however, it also means that we seem to be beholden to the rules of the management company that owns the leasehold, more so than if it was a straight strata where we would be able to vote.  The manager is only supposed to really manage the rental units that are part of the property and act as a go-between with the management company and the leaseholders (like us) but she seems to have a power trip.  The ironic thing is that she herself is a renter here, not a leaseholder.  She has not returned our call regarding this second tow, but I am sure she will when the management company gets my letter.  The funny thing is we have never personally had a problem with her before.....though we know others have.


----------



## jpmcgrew

Sounds like your land lady is nuts. I mean would it not be common sense and her job responsibility for her to to call you first to find out what the the deal is with your parking spot? Just common courtesy in my opinion.


----------



## miniman

Surely it costs very little in time and is good manners to talk to someone about the problem first, instead of ordering a tow truck. Good customer relations are vital & even more so when you are not really heer customer. We are on leasehold land and the management company is pretty good about sending out letters when they percieve a problem.


----------



## Mama

LPBeier said:


> We supposedly own our townhouse. We paid for it and pay monthly maintenance fees just like any other strata complex. The big difference is that this complex in on leasehold land (with 84 years left on the 99 year lease). As such the selling price was lower; however, it also means that we seem to be beholden to the rules of the management company that owns the leasehold, more so than if it was a straight strata where we would be able to vote. The manager is only supposed to really manage the rental units that are part of the property and act as a go-between with the management company and the leaseholders (like us) but she seems to have a power trip. The ironic thing is that she herself is a renter here, not a leaseholder. She has not returned our call regarding this second tow, but I am sure she will when the management company gets my letter. The funny thing is we have never personally had a problem with her before.....though we know others have.


 
This story just gets better and better!


----------



## luvs

my kitty, ozzy, passed away saturday. my Mum took him his vet & he stayed 3 days getting fluids & antibiotics. he went into kidney failure, & they said he should be put to sleep. sigh. my Dad was working & his phone wasn't on, so he didn't find out till after work.


----------



## Maverick2272

Some people never learn... or maybe they are just happy that way??


----------



## suziquzie

Laurie, I'm so sorry I haven't been around much, but I have been reading and I cannot believe how many "rules" there are, and how they manage to pile up upon perfectly decent people!!!! You are more than welcome to buy a ginormous double-wide trailer and plop it on my property, and I don't care WHAT kind of cars you have or where you park them!!!!!!!!!!


My silly vent. It's finally been 90 about 3 times.... in the last 2 1/2 weeks. Yes, it's warm. Here's the obnoxious-I-need-to-vent part.....

We have had the coldest, wettest, spring and early summer in 15 years. Longer maybe.... I've been here 21 years and can't remember ALL of them.... but I dont remember such a COLD spring!!!! 
It has not rained but once in the last 3 weeks, all of a sudden very dry (careful what you wish for it may come true) but not super hot. 
The idiot news weather person starts out the teaser at the start with "when will we get a break from the heat".........
ITS NOT BEEN HOT YET!!!!
They whine and whine about how cold it is around here, then the SECOND it gets to 84, half the state cranks up the a/c and whines it's too hot!!!! 

Maybe its just me and my misplaced freezebaby ways, but it is NOT HOT YET and if it gets there REVEL in it, it only lasts 2 months!!!!!!!!!


----------



## B'sgirl

Here's my vent for the day. My son, Barrett, 20 months old has been having major digestive issues. We think he has Celiac where he can't have gluten, and we also think he has some other problems as well which we are trying to pinpoint. 

My church has a nursery for kids age 18 months to 3 years during classes so parents can go to classes without worrying about their children. I worked in the nursery for several months so I've had Barrett in their with me since he was 10 months old. Now that I've given birth to another child I don't work in there anymore and do something else. Anyway, another lady has worked in there with me the whole time and still does. She knows Barrett cannot have wheat and has seen me go to great measure to prevent him from eating "illegal" snacks off the floor or taking them from other kids. 

Back to the story...the last few weeks we have put him on a really strict diet to try and figure out problem foods. Come to find out, since I quit working in the nursery, this woman, who has been a good friend of mine, has been giving him graham crackers and goldfish crackers just because he would ask for them and felt bad for him, and never told me. Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!! No wonder I haven't been able to identify problem foods! The only reason we found out is because my husband went to check on him and saw him with a handful of fish. Next week I am going to give her a very detailed account of what happens to him when he eats those things, and if she doesn't stop I'm either having her pulled from the nursery or I'm pulling him from it!


----------



## babetoo

luvs said:


> my kitty, ozzy, passed away saturday. my Mum took him his vet & he stayed 3 days getting fluids & antibiotics. he went into kidney failure, & they said he should be put to sleep. sigh. my Dad was working & his phone wasn't on, so he didn't find out till after work.


 

oh luvs, 

i am so sorry. losing a beloved pet is very hard. i know you will miss him. sometimes i complain about my thomas but i would be crushed if something happened to him. was he very old? 

babe


----------



## pdswife

I'm sorry Luvs.  Losing a friend is hard ..doesn't matter if it's a human or a kitty!


----------



## Barbara L

I have been reading the posts but haven't posted here in a few days.  Expatgirl, I'm glad you made it back safely, and I'm glad they got their stupid mess in order.

For the health concerns, I am praying.  I hope the wait doesn't seem too long Laurie.

Luvs, I'm sorry to hear about your kitty.  

Laurie, I guess you don't have to worry about anyone stealing your car--Impound lots are usually locked up.    Seriously, I hope your car towing woes are over.  What a pain!

No vents from me--things are going pretty well.  If that changes, you'll be the first to know!  LOL  

Barbara


----------



## Barbara L

B'sgirl said:


> Here's my vent for the day. My son, Barrett, 20 months old has been having major digestive issues. We think he has Celiac where he can't have gluten, and we also think he has some other problems as well which we are trying to pinpoint.
> 
> My church has a nursery for kids age 18 months to 3 years during classes so parents can go to classes without worrying about their children. I worked in the nursery for several months so I've had Barrett in their with me since he was 10 months old. Now that I've given birth to another child I don't work in there anymore and do something else. Anyway, another lady has worked in there with me the whole time and still does. She knows Barrett cannot have wheat and has seen me go to great measure to prevent him from eating "illegal" snacks off the floor or taking them from other kids.
> 
> Back to the story...the last few weeks we have put him on a really strict diet to try and figure out problem foods. Come to find out, since I quit working in the nursery, this woman, who has been a good friend of mine, has been giving him graham crackers and goldfish crackers just because he would ask for them and felt bad for him, and never told me. Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!! No wonder I haven't been able to identify problem foods! The only reason we found out is because my husband went to check on him and saw him with a handful of fish. Next week I am going to give her a very detailed account of what happens to him when he eats those things, and if she doesn't stop I'm either having her pulled from the nursery or I'm pulling him from it!


If anyone is pulled from the nursery, it should be her.  I can't believe she would do that after knowing that he has problems with wheat.  I wonder if she just figured you are being over-protective and that you really don't know what your own child needs.  She should not be working with little kids.  My friend's son has such a bad peanut allergy that he reacts just to the smell of them if someone is eating them too near him.  I'd hate to think what would happen if a nursery worker had made the decision to let him have peanut butter crackers or something.  This woman (who doesn't seem like much of a friend to me) needs to know the seriousness of what she has done.  

Barbara


----------



## B'sgirl

Barbara L said:


> If anyone is pulled from the nursery, it should be her.  I can't believe she would do that after knowing that he has problems with wheat.  I wonder if she just figured you are being over-protective and that you really don't know what your own child needs.  She should not be working with little kids.  My friend's son has such a bad peanut allergy that he reacts just to the smell of them if someone is eating them too near him.  I'd hate to think what would happen if a nursery worker had made the decision to let him have peanut butter crackers or something.  This woman (who doesn't seem like much of a friend to me) needs to know the seriousness of what she has done.
> 
> Barbara



I don't mean to stereotype, she is just from a pretty laid back culture. She is Tongan and speaks very broken English. I wonder if she just doesn't understand the seriousness of it and maybe because her English isn't the best she didn't quite understand. . And she has a very soft spot for children and B has these big blue eyes...

I think after I talk to her again, and alert the other nursery leaders, it won't happen again. At least it better not!


----------



## Barbara L

B'sgirl said:


> I don't mean to stereotype, she is just from a pretty laid back culture. She is Tongan and speaks very broken English. I wonder if she just doesn't understand the seriousness of it and maybe because her English isn't the best she didn't quite understand. . And she has a very soft spot for children and B has these big blue eyes...
> 
> I think after I talk to her again, and alert the other nursery leaders, it won't happen again. At least it better not!


Ah, yeah cultural differences can really make a difference in a situation.  She does still need to be made to understand the gravity of the situation though, or she should not work with children with such problems.

Barbara


----------



## Mama

Luvs, I'm so sorry to hear about your kitty.


----------



## expatgirl

Thanks for all the concerns for us, Barbara (Barbs)............you're just that kind of person


----------



## expatgirl

And luvs, I'm sorry I missed your post........so sorry to hear about your fur child........lots of hugs coming your way......know what it feels like..........


----------



## luvs

babetoo said:


> oh luvs,
> 
> i am so sorry. losing a beloved pet is very hard. i know you will miss him. sometimes i complain about my thomas but i would be crushed if something happened to him. was he very old?
> 
> babe


 he was 14, bane. thanks fer your caring 'bout our precious guy.


----------



## luvs

pds, barbara, mama, & expat, luv you for caring 'bout my kitty. HUGGGGGGS!


----------



## LadyCook61

*bluejays*

 I hate Bluejays!!  I saw a beautiful Indigo Bunting at the feeder, and the stupid bluejay come flying in and scared it off !


----------



## LadyCook61

luvs said:


> my kitty, ozzy, passed away saturday. my Mum took him his vet & he stayed 3 days getting fluids & antibiotics. he went into kidney failure, & they said he should be put to sleep. sigh. my Dad was working & his phone wasn't on, so he didn't find out till after work.


 
I'm so sorry about your kitty, luvs. 
hugs,
LC


----------



## buckytom

i'm sorry about ozzy, luvs. i hope he's with my doodie in heaven now, purring and laying about in a sunny spot.


----------



## expatgirl

LadyCook61 said:


> I hate Bluejays!!  I saw a beautiful Indigo Bunting at the feeder, and the stupid bluejay come flying in and scared it off !



don't worry, LadyCook, he or she now know where the feeder is and the bluejay can't stay awake 24 hours.......whether you can is another question  hope that you get a great picture and can post it.........


----------



## jpmcgrew

Luv,So very sorry about your kittie.


----------



## LadyCook61

expatgirl said:


> don't worry, LadyCook, he or she now know where the feeder is and the bluejay can't stay awake 24 hours.......whether you can is another question hope that you get a great picture and can post it.........


 
The trouble is the Bunting does not  come around all year.  Now I'm ticked off at hubby's friend for pruning my lilac bushes .  Instead of pruning bushes by the pool , he prunes my lovely lilac bushes.  I am glad he has left , he overstayed his welcome !!


----------



## B'sgirl

Sure sounds like it! Glad you are freed of his presence. : )


----------



## luvs

thanks fer caring 'bout my ozzy, guys.


----------



## In the Kitchen

luvs said:


> thanks fer caring 'bout my ozzy, guys.



luvs you always were fond of kittens.  14 is really getting up there.  Did you have him all that time?  One thing he knew for sure is that someone will miss him and his time together with all of you was happy.  

I have dog going on 14 and it is touch and go with him too.  He is blind and deaf with severe arthritis.  Just wonder how long they will be here.  I sure am not going to keep him if he stops eating and doesn't seem like he wants to hang around anymore.  He still shows his anger at the puppies which is surprising.  Person has to observe their personality to know if they are in pain or not.  Just like people, they live as long as they can hopefully without pain.  Guess your dad loved him too.  Please extend my sympathy to the family too.


----------



## LPBeier

I am not going to bore you with all the details of my vent except to say it involves a non-working car, stubborn inlaws who can't get it through their heads that I can't get comfortable in a car and need a van or something higher, a broken toilet, kids who can't pay rent or food money but are able to buy smokes and eat out whenever they please and a DH who in one breath complains about the fact we have no money and that I am still working when I am not well.


----------



## pdswife

I think that about says it all Laurie.    : )


----------



## suziquzie

Breathe in, breathe out Laurie.....
In with the good, out with the bad........
There. 
Now go buy a punching bag!!!!!!


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks PDS and Suzie, I feel so much better now.  It is amazing what a little venting, breathing and hitting a punching bag can do!


----------



## expatgirl

how mad as h..... you must be LP........go punch a pillow a few times or better yet use a hairbrush......scream, vent, cry.........believe me you'll feel better.........then go and have a calm sitdown with your kids and hubby and inform them of your new expectations..........no yelling........no screaming allowed......if kids can afford smokes  and meals out they can afford to help out.......full stop........you need help with the bills if $$ is tight now......they can help out, too..........I hope and pray that all works out for you.......you don't need this added stress that's for sure.........


----------



## texasgirl

LPBeier said:


> I am not going to bore you with all the details of my vent except to say it involves a non-working car, stubborn inlaws who can't get it through their heads that I can't get comfortable in a car and need a van or something higher, a broken toilet, kids who can't pay rent or food money but are able to buy smokes and eat out whenever they please and a DH who in one breath complains about the fact we have no money and that I am still working when I am not well.


 
I'm sorry!! Kids are stupid sometimes, that's for sure!! inlaws can be horrible sometimes too. Just come here and breathe!!


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks, Texas and Expat, your words really helped, as did a half decent night's sleep for a change.  SIL washed all the towels last night, made the border's lunch and helped me prep some things for work today.  DD watched TV.  The in-laws are finally listening re vehicle and have agreed to look at the van we are interested in (they will loan us the money which is why they want to pick vehicle).  

Here's hoping SIL goes job hunting today and DD goes back to work at Mickey D's to work off her two weeks notice before she starts her new job.


----------



## expatgirl

oh, that's great to hear LP----not trying to tell you what to do here but do talk to your sons about helping out more..........I know that they can...........and maybe it'll make them feel responsible for y'all........just a thought.........


----------



## kadesma

Laurie,
kids are kids and sometimes they need a good swift kick in the pants..Can't help with the food but can light up..Every time they would light up here  the old collection jar would come out and a buck would be inserted...Plus I'd sit them down and light into them.. roof over head , food, all the caring and loving while they were sick..I'd let them know you loved doing it but you are not door mats,plus it costs dollars  and you do not like how  you are being treated..I just did a go round with my oldest daughter and as much as I hated doing it. I did...Things are now smooth and back on track..Be firm and clear with them and DH do not let them treat you like this stand up for Laurie.  Got that  kiddo?  Now here is a big ((((((((hug))))))
cj


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks, CJ, I needed that (the hug and the advice).  This is a super busy week but I will write you soon, promise.   ((((((((((hug))))))))))) back!


----------



## expatgirl

I think that's very good advice,CJ, make them responsible...it's our jobs to teach them that anyway if we can..........a dollar everytime they light up........woohoo..........I should charge my daughter everytime she debates with me........I'd be rich.......


----------



## Barbara L

expatgirl said:


> I think that's very good advice,CJ, make them responsible...it's our jobs to teach them that anyway if we can..........a dollar everytime they light up........woohoo..........I should charge my daughter everytime she debates with me........I'd be rich.......


Nah--she'd probably just talk you out of it!  

My vent is ME!  I'm bad enough about doing any housework when I'm by myself, but I have always had a problem doing it if someone is around!  Part of my problem right now is that James wants company (and I want to give him that company), but mostly it is just me (20% him/80% me).  There are some things that have to be done!  I had this big (well, probably medium, but it seemed big to me) project planned for today.  There was all this junk (mostly clothes, but lots of other stuff too) all over the dresser top.  I got it all off (and onto the bed).  I told James that the dresser top is no longer going to be a place for clutter.  I was going to put away, throw away, and give away all the clothes and do the same with all the rest of the stuff.  I got started, and then I went into the living room to take my medicine, and James went and got pizza and hotwings.  As you have probably already guessed, I never made it back into the bedroom.  So now the job that should have been a medium-sized one is bigger (James put it all in a big tub to get it off of the bed).  I also ended up not reading my Bible and daily devotional yesterday because of all that, and that really makes me mad at me.  

Well, it is 7:10 a.m., and I haven't been to bed yet (that is another of my vents--we have to change our sleeping habits SOON), so I'd better head that way.  

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

Gosh, Barbs, you sound like me......my nights and days are all mixed up........12 hour time difference betw KZ and Houston and I don't help matters by sleeping during the day...............but I'm just so tired I can't help it........I can't stand clutter either.......drives me nuts.............and my husband loves to spread his junk across then entire dresser........I patiently put them in neat piles on his end he NEVER gets the hint........oh, and I forgot to mention the 3 sci-fi books he usually has going at once...........just stack them, that's all I ask..........


I had to laugh my head off at your comment that my daughter would talk me out of charging her for debating with me.........you are so right........  I'd be the one ending up paying HER not to debate with me.........hahaha


----------



## TanyaK

MIl finally passed away on Tuesday - we've been expecting it but it's still sad. Ironically it was on the same day that my mom had her tumor removed so in a way I'm so glad that my mom's (hopefully) going to be OK but feel guilty being happy because Adrienne's mom didn't survive the same illness.  This whole thing is just so unsettling for me - after 13 years together our mothers gets diagnosed with brain tumors within months of each other. MIL passes away the same day my mom gets operated on successfully and her funeral is the day of Adrienne's birthday(tomorrow)
Anyway I'm digressing (and depressing you all -sorry)  - in times like this it's amazing how your friends react - I've heard nothing from a friend who I've always seen as one of my closest friends who I last spoke to when my mom was diagnosed - not a call. mail or sms to find out how it's going - that made me sad. On the other hand I've had more casual friends who have been in contact so regularly to find out how it's going and being really caring which is great. Anyway I suppose what I mean to say is that you realise who your true friends are in times of crisis.


----------



## expatgirl

So sorry to hear your sad news, Tanya.........yeah, you do find out who your real friends are after any crisis.......sorry that she wasn't there to offer you comfort---maybe something came up for her as well that you don't know about......some people distance themselves from hospitals and bad news....but you have us and you know us by now..........DC sticks by their members thru good  times and bad times........hope that you and Adrienne get thru this latest sadness........all my hugs coming your way...........<<<<<<hugs>>>>>>>>debs


----------



## TanyaK

Thanks expatgirl - I must say that DC turned out to be much more than just a cooking forum   My husband is having a couple of drinks with his brother to ease the pain as he doesn't talk about his feelings at all - not healthy but if that's the way he deals with it at the moment so be it. My friends are all busy with their husbands and kids.
But at least I can chat with my DC friends


----------



## expatgirl

leave him alone, Tanya. glad that his brother is with him........my DH is the same way..........they have their own ways of dealing with pain and loss.......he'll be fine and yes, it is healthy having a few drinks with your bro and reminiscing......I promise........at our ages we have dealt with many personal losses.........he'll be fine


----------



## TanyaK

Thanks - yes - I'll leave him - his way of dealing with it.


----------



## expatgirl

just sorry that you're alone right now......I had a feeling of such loss when my mother in law passed away a year ago..........she had been my guiding light for about 35 years and never once interfered at all.........she was wonderful.....and gave me such great advice as well as teaching me how to cook..........I still miss her.........


----------



## Barbara L

I'm sorry for the loss of your mother-in-law.  I will be praying for the family.

I am so sick I cannot stand it.  I think I have the flu, but it could possibly be food poisoning.  As I said, I think it is the flu.  I am sore all over, especially my legs and my head.  My normal temperature is 97.6 but is running as high as 101.3.  I was up too late, as usual, but even staying up until sunrise I am usually up by noon.  I was totally conked out until after 4:00 p.m. (just waking up to go to the bathroom--walking there really hurts).  James brought me my medicine, glasses, book, remotes for the TV, fan, and CD player, and my laptop.  I had to turn the fan down because even the air hitting my legs hurts.  I hurt too badly to leave the bed.  I will leave DC on but will probably not post a lot.  It's about all I can do to read a little and then sleep more.

Barbara


----------



## suziquzie

Barbara I hope you feel better soon, DH and I were both sick like that on Chrstmas Day! 

Tanya I'm verry sorry about your MIL it must be very difficult.... I've been following along but not saying anything because I never know what to say to even try to help someone feel better....
Maybe your friend has the same issue? I hope so....


----------



## quicksilver

Jeez. I don't check this thread hardly ever.
So let me say I'm sorry about your MIL TanyaK.
Loss is loss, no matter what the relationship.
And don't feel guilty about your mom. We can not choose when God needs us. And we'll always feel it's not the right time. Prayers for you and your DH, today, and for the funeral tomorrow.

B.L., I hope you feel better soon. Flu or food poisoning, not good. But force yourself to keep hydrated. You need to flush out all the baddies as much as possible. Plus it
helps keep your fever down.


----------



## Barbara L

Thanks!  I have 2 big bottles of water with me, and I am drinking as much as I can.  I rarely ever get really sick.  When I do, it really takes its toll on me.  We're trying to get ready to go on vacation, and I want to be completely over this.  

Barbara


----------



## texasgirl

tanya, honey, I'm so sorry about mil. she at peace now and you dh will get through it with you and his siblings. god bless

Barbara, drink all the fluids you can. I take Zicam liquid when I get sick, and it kicks it right out. I do daytime and nightime. Works wonders for me, I hope it will for you, if you try it. Get some rest.


----------



## babetoo

very sorry about your mother-in-law. mine has been gone for years but she was really close to me.

barb get your well on. lol. seriously hope u feel better.

babe


----------



## kadesma

Barbara L said:


> Thanks!  I have 2 big bottles of water with me, and I am drinking as much as I can.  I rarely ever get really sick.  When I do, it really takes its toll on me.  We're trying to get ready to go on vacation, and I want to be completely over this.
> 
> Barbara


Barb,
get some tea and toast in you and stay in that bed..If you aren't better in several days call the doc or go to the er..Good Lord girl rest for a change Please!!!
love ya
kades


----------



## kadesma

TanyaK said:


> MIl finally passed away on Tuesday - we've been expecting it but it's still sad. Ironically it was on the same day that my mom had her tumor removed so in a way I'm so glad that my mom's (hopefully) going to be OK but feel guilty being happy because Adrienne's mom didn't survive the same illness.  This whole thing is just so unsettling for me - after 13 years together our mothers gets diagnosed with brain tumors within months of each other. MIL passes away the same day my mom gets operated on successfully and her funeral is the day of Adrienne's birthday(tomorrow)
> Anyway I'm digressing (and depressing you all -sorry)  - in times like this it's amazing how your friends react - I've heard nothing from a friend who I've always seen as one of my closest friends who I last spoke to when my mom was diagnosed - not a call. mail or sms to find out how it's going - that made me sad. On the other hand I've had more casual friends who have been in contact so regularly to find out how it's going and being really caring which is great. Anyway I suppose what I mean to say is that you realise who your true friends are in times of crisis.


You surely have had your hand full..I'm so sorry that all I can do is tell you I understand and offer you good thoughts and prayers..Your friend who hasn't called or written..She just might be unsure of what to say..For some it's so hard to speak up ..We are afraid of saying the wrong thing and hurting you..Then again this as hard as it is shows us who our true friends really are.Hugs,good thoughts and prayers for all of you in your time of sorrow.
kadesma


----------



## expatgirl

Barbs, keep your butt in bed......that's where it belongs..........and you need to be getting some rest, too.......Dr. Debs says it certainly sounds like the flu, too, esp. with the aches and pains and fever..........and Zicam is the most wonderful product ever.........and lots of vitamin C, and zinc, and echinacea also are helpfull.......there all products out there with all 3 combined.......stay in BED!!!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

texasgirl said:


> I hate doctors sometimes!! The ER and Cardiologist were WRONG! I just wanna cry! I have CHF after all. Totally reversable and not severe, thank god!! The new doc calculated my weight gain, now at 204, to be approx 2 lbs a week of fluid gain a week for the last 5 months or longer, since feb. is when I saw cardiologist. He TICKED that my BP and pitting was never addressed for underlying causes. It was pretty much just chalked up to me being fat and that is it. I am overweight to begin with, but, now, obese as I am 5'3"!! I am on meds now too. Still on Coreg, now on Lasix and Klor-Con.
> PLEASE let this work!!!


Stacy, I'm so sorry. This must scare you to death. As far as weight gain, don't be surprised if you drop 20+ pounds in the next week or 2. When my brother was diagnosed with CHF, he was in the hospital and dropped 42 pounds in 1 week - all fluid!

Now, girlfriend, I'm talking to you like a mom. Today is the day you have to start putting yourself _first_ until you get this under control. Be clear with your family that you are now fighting for your life. Don't downplay this, because it's serious business and your family loves you very much and will come through for you. Yes, you can reverse it but not if you don't take serious steps to care for yourself. That means preparing foods that you have to eat to get healthy, even if it's not what hubby and sons like or are used to. If they want something else, they can step up and make it for now. Also, you need to have ample time for your exercise program. Once your heart has been struggling, it's vital that you strengthen your heart muscle again. So no more trying to work in exercise between cooking and cleaning. _You_ come first right now. I'm saying this because I think it will be the hardest change of all for you - learning to say no.

You are really important here, too, and we don't want anything happening to one of our own. So if you need help, here's the place to come. And a big hug from me to you.


----------



## texasgirl

Fisher's Mom said:


> Stacy, I'm so sorry. This must scare you to death. As far as weight gain, don't be surprised if you drop 20+ pounds in the next week or 2. When my brother was diagnosed with CHF, he was in the hospital and dropped 42 pounds in 1 week - all fluid!
> 
> Now, girlfriend, I'm talking to you like a mom. Today is the day you have to start putting yourself _first_ until you get this under control. Be clear with your family that you are now fighting for your life. Don't downplay this, because it's serious business and your family loves you very much and will come through for you. Yes, you can reverse it but not if you don't take serious steps to care for yourself. That means preparing foods that you have to eat to get healthy, even if it's not what hubby and sons like or are used to. If they want something else, they can step up and make it for now. Also, you need to have ample time for your exercise program. Once your heart has been struggling, it's vital that you strengthen your heart muscle again. So no more trying to work in exercise between cooking and cleaning. _You_ come first right now. I'm saying this because I think it will be the hardest change of all for you - learning to say no.
> 
> You are really important here, too, and we don't want anything happening to one of our own. So if you need help, here's the place to come. And a big hug from me to you.


 
Thank you!
 Little scared about it, but, he said it isn't severe and is completely reversible as long as I do what he says and stay on the meds and this healing diet. Its strict too! I can have any of the good stuff anymore well, good to my mouth, bad for body. Now I know the reason for the swelling { even in face, hands and stomach} chest pain, fatigue, all of it! I never really looked at what CHF is until now. I knew some of it from what people told me to look at with what I was doing, but, desn't really matter until you are told you have it. I don't have coughing other than a little every once in a while, no phlegm at all. The breathing is only someitmes. I can walk 10's and get tired, other times, I can walk a mile, no problem. This too shall pass, right? I will get better and never be on meds again and lose weight too.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

texasgirl said:


> Thank you!
> Little scared about it, but, he said it isn't severe and is completely reversible as long as I do what he says and stay on the meds and this healing diet. Its strict too! I can have any of the good stuff anymore well, good to my mouth, bad for body. Now I know the reason for the swelling { even in face, hands and stomach} chest pain, fatigue, all of it! I never really looked at what CHF is until now. I knew some of it from what people told me to look at with what I was doing, but, desn't really matter until you are told you have it. I don't have coughing other than a little every once in a while, no phlegm at all. The breathing is only someitmes. I can walk 10's and get tired, other times, I can walk a mile, no problem. This too shall pass, right? I will get better and never be on meds again and lose weight too.


Hey, you can complain to me about the diet because I think I'm on the same one!!!! Is it less than 20% fat with very high dietary fiber and emphasis on "cardio healthy" foods? It's really starting to suck! I haven't had red meat or butter at all in almost 2 months!


----------



## texasgirl

Mine is called the healing diet. I guess it's a cleanser. I can have meat, veggies and SOME fruits and nuts. Only plain water and tea. No sugars, starches or sodiums. No fried foods, NO MEXICAN FOOD!! All meat has to be done on George Foreman grill, hey, I finally had an excuse to get to buy one,lol. I only got a $20 grill, I wasn't spending all that money on one. It's goingto be really hard to cut what I normally eat out. but, I will post a pic of how skinny I get too!! LOL


----------



## B'sgirl

Wow, that is going to be a tough diet! Makes it hard to cook for your family too! You almost have to make two separate meals!

My vent: Remember how I had computer trouble a little while ago? I had taken tons of pictures (A wedding and baby blessing happened during that time) and was waiting to load them on my computer. Well we fixed the computer, only the new one couldn't run Windows so we had been using an alternate operating system called Fedora. That was when I loaded all my pictures on and deleted the full camera disk so I could take more pictures. Then Fedora wasn't working well so we switched to Ubuntu. DH forgot I had loaded pictures on and didn't put them on the new operating system and he deleted the old one. 

They are GONE!!! My brother's wedding! Priceless pictures of my sweet children! I'm so glad I emailed lots of them to family, but so many of them were lost, and I had shrunk the ones I needed to email so they won't be printable. I was so excited to finally be able to put a picture of Abbie on my wall, now the best ones are gone.


----------



## Maverick2272

It can sometimes be recovered, but costs a pretty penny to do so. Running Fedora then Ubuntu makes it harder since you can't use any of the recovery programs available commercially, they are all for Windows.
You would have to go to a recovery service and tell them you want any and all pics recovered and you don't care about any other data. Like I said, expensive to do so you have to decide how much the pics are worth to you.


----------



## Maverick2272

TG, sorry to hear about what is happening to you, thankfully now you know what it is and that it is reversable. You licked cigs you can lick this!


----------



## Mama

Awhile back I put my memeory card in the card reader of my computer and ALL of my pictures disappeared. I called Olympus Support since it is an Olympus camera and they told my to always use a USB cable to transfer my photos because card readers sometimes delete the photos. Anyway....they told me about this site where it is possible to reclaim photos from you memory card that have been deleted. IT WORKED! I got all my pictures back. It's a free service so it's definately worth a try. 

Here's the link: Digital Camera Data Recovery

Here's hoping it works it for you!


----------



## texasgirl

B'sgirl said:


> Wow, that is going to be a tough diet! Makes it hard to cook for your family too! You almost have to make two separate meals!
> 
> My vent: Remember how I had computer trouble a little while ago? I had taken tons of pictures (A wedding and baby blessing happened during that time) and was waiting to load them on my computer. Well we fixed the computer, only the new one couldn't run Windows so we had been using an alternate operating system called Fedora. That was when I loaded all my pictures on and deleted the full camera disk so I could take more pictures. Then Fedora wasn't working well so we switched to Ubuntu. DH forgot I had loaded pictures on and didn't put them on the new operating system and he deleted the old one.
> 
> They are GONE!!! My brother's wedding! Priceless pictures of my sweet children! I'm so glad I emailed lots of them to family, but so many of them were lost, and I had shrunk the ones I needed to email so they won't be printable. I was so excited to finally be able to put a picture of Abbie on my wall, now the best ones are gone.


 
This happened to me once. It's awful!! I have a lot of pics, including a few of a friend that died. It's heartbreaking!! I'm sorry. I hope you can find a computer person to recover them.
Thanks Mav, that's how I feel about it too. I will fix this.


----------



## Maverick2272

Mama said:


> Awhile back I put my memeory card in the card reader of my computer and ALL of my pictures disappeared. I called Olympus Support since it is an Olympus camera and they told my to always use a USB cable to transfer my photos because card readers sometimes delete the photos. Anyway....they told me about this site where it is possible to reclaim photos from you memory card that have been deleted. IT WORKED! I got all my pictures back. It's a free service so it's definately worth a try.
> 
> Here's the link: Digital Camera Data Recovery
> 
> Here's hoping it works it for you!



Unfortunately, hers were on the hard drive instead of the memory card. However, if she has not used the memory card for the camera since she transfered and deleted them, then she might be able to use that service to recover.


----------



## Mama

Maverick2272 said:


> Unfortunately, hers were on the hard drive instead of the memory card. However, if she has not used the memory card for the camera since she transfered and deleted them, then she might be able to use that service to recover.


 
I had used my memory card several times after the picture were deleted and it still worked.  It recovered every picture I had ever taken with that memory card.


----------



## Maverick2272

Mama said:


> I had used my memory card several times after the picture were deleted and it still worked.  It recovered every picture I had ever taken with that memory card.



You're lucky, only went back one time on mine, plus partials from the time before but that was it... maybe some cards to better than others? Mine are xD cards. I lost the previous pictures, so I moved the new ones onto the computer, then deleted them. Then used the service to restore. It got all of the ones I had just moved, but only a few of the previous ones that I had wanted....grrrrr.


----------



## Mama

I also have an xD card.  It's an Olympus 1GB .  The guy at Olumpus told me that it doesn't always work.  Maybe I just got lucky!


----------



## Maverick2272

Might be usage as well. The ones we have are for my wifes business, she takes pictures of all the gardens she works on. She will fill, empty, and re-fill them around 50 or more times per season, so it just might be too many to recover!
I will keep my fingers crossed for her, if she has only used it a couple of times maybe she will get em all back!


----------



## Maverick2272

Finally! I was able to find the camera compatibility list they have:
Known digital camera compatibility list - Digital Image Recovery
Unfortunately, neither of ours is on there.

They do list several Fuji cameras, just not the ones we have, so this might explain why I can recover some and not all. 

So B'sgirl, if you check the link above and yours is listed, then chances are you will have the same success as Mama and get your pics back! How cool would that be? LOL.
If it doesn't list your model but does list some by your Manufacturer (like mine), give it a shot and see if it works. Use the card reader in your computer or an external one if you have to for better chances of success. And you do have to download ZAR 8.3 to do it.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

texasgirl said:


> Mine is called the healing diet. I guess it's a cleanser. I can have meat, veggies and SOME fruits and nuts. Only plain water and tea. No sugars, starches or sodiums. No fried foods, NO MEXICAN FOOD!! All meat has to be done on George Foreman grill, hey, I finally had an excuse to get to buy one,lol. I only got a $20 grill, I wasn't spending all that money on one. It's goingto be really hard to cut what I normally eat out. but, I will post a pic of how skinny I get too!! LOL


I think yours would be harder for me than mine. I'm not limited as to salt or sugar per se, and I can have coffee, diet soda and skim milk. But no red meat - only skinless white chicken and turkey and fish and shellfish. I can have lots of dairy but it must all be fat free. Lots of veggies and fruits, but no fruit juices. Lots of whole grains, brown rice, tofu and soy products, and legumes. No butter or margarine and only limited amounts of good fats like olive oil, nuts and nut butters - less than 20% of my daily caloric intake.


----------



## expatgirl

goodness, I did such a good job of cutting back on my sodium intake and eating just veggies and chicken and then combined with a diuretic....... no caffeine either........I find myself with a diagnosis of too low blood sodium levels........usually my doctor who is real laid back comes in with a seriously worried look......"This is NOT good he says"  This is the doc that is always telling me not to worry about this or that....you should really be having symptoms now of weakness, fatigue, or feeling out of your head with these low readings (ok, no comments here)........didn't in my books.........but his serious look scared me.......told me to stop the diuretic and eat more salt........let me tell you when you get used to a low salt diet it is really hard to go back to it...........really hard...........these days everything tastes too salty.............everything tastes yuck.......but within one week my sodium levels were almost normal.........go figure.....please the point is to make sure that any medication you're taking you ought to have your blood profiles done  yearly just to be on the safe side........my aunt thought that her fatigue was due to the anaemia that she had but it was due the the fact that she had such low blood sodium levels.......go figure........who would have thought...hope that all works out for you Fisher'smom and Texas girl.........your problems are certainly far worse.......


----------



## LadyCook61

My vent is people who leave the pet in the hot car. Even with the window open a little, it still gets way too hot and the pet suffers and have died in the car.


Cool It! Summer's Heat Can Be Deadly for Your Pet | The Humane Society of the United States


----------



## texasgirl

LadyCook61 said:


> My vent is people who leave the pet in the hot car. Even with the window open a little, it still gets way too hot and the pet suffers and have died in the car.
> 
> 
> Cool It! Summer's Heat Can Be Deadly for Your Pet | The Humane Society of the United States


 

YEAP, that is up there with leaving your child in the car too. May not be the same with some, but, for me, it's just as bad!!


----------



## B'sgirl

Mama said:


> Awhile back I put my memeory card in the card reader of my computer and ALL of my pictures disappeared. I called Olympus Support since it is an Olympus camera and they told my to always use a USB cable to transfer my photos because card readers sometimes delete the photos. Anyway....they told me about this site where it is possible to reclaim photos from you memory card that have been deleted. IT WORKED! I got all my pictures back. It's a free service so it's definately worth a try.
> 
> Here's the link: Digital Camera Data Recovery
> 
> Here's hoping it works it for you!



Thanks for the link, Mama! I was able to recover most of the pictures with that software. Any that got lost are ones I don't remember so I guess they don't matter anyway. But the blessing/wedding pictures and videos were all recovered. Guess this post should go in the smile thread.


----------



## texasgirl

B'sgirl said:


> Thanks for the link, Mama! I was able to recover most of the pictures with that software. Any that got lost are ones I don't remember so I guess they don't matter anyway. But the blessing/wedding pictures and videos were all recovered. Guess this post should go in the smile thread.


 

WOOHOO!! I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!


----------



## Mama

B'sgirl said:


> Thanks for the link, Mama! I was able to recover most of the pictures with that software. Any that got lost are ones I don't remember so I guess they don't matter anyway. But the blessing/wedding pictures and videos were all recovered. Guess this post should go in the smile thread.


 
Yeah!!!!!!!!  I'm so glad it worked out for you!


----------



## Maverick2272

Way cool, I am so happy for you!


----------



## kadesma

B'sgirl said:


> Thanks for the link, Mama! I was able to recover most of the pictures with that software. Any that got lost are ones I don't remember so I guess they don't matter anyway. But the blessing/wedding pictures and videos were all recovered. Guess this post should go in the smile thread.


Seeing you so happy, is one of the reasons I love DC so much and why the people here are as close and warm as my own family.

kadesma


----------



## Dina

I have so much catching up to do here guys.  I continue praying for everyone's needs.  I just peaked in here a bit to let everyone know that Justin's surgery went very well, thank God.  Pathology showed no cancerous cells and it was in fact, a thyroglossal duct cyst with a lot of infection.  He's recovering very well.


----------



## Barb L.

Great news Dina, continued success for you Son !!


----------



## expatgirl

Glad to hear that Justin's sugery went well and there was no cancer......that's  a great celebration in itself..............if I knew how to post those cool pics where people are jumping up in the air and clappling their hands that's what you'd see now whatever you call them I would...............but you all know the computer-challenged lady from TX so I don't have to explain myself anymore...............forever computer challenged.......saw a documentary today on the history and evolution of the internet......Wow......how interesting........learned lots.....know that Bill Gates would never have made me his wife.............hahhaha...


----------



## texasgirl

Dina said:


> I have so much catching up to do here guys. I continue praying for everyone's needs. I just peaked in here a bit to let everyone know that Justin's surgery went very well, thank God. Pathology showed no cancerous cells and it was in fact, a thyroglossal duct cyst with a lot of infection. He's recovering very well.


 
I'm so glad, Dina. I got worried that something was wrong when I hadn't seen you on here. I'm so very happy that I was wrong and it is all going good!!


----------



## Mama

OH that is great news Dina!


----------



## Dina

Thanks ya'll. The surgery took about half hour but with all the pre-op stuff they need to take care of first, it took over 2 hours. DH and I began to worry after the couple of hours. A sweet gal in the waiting room tracked Justin down and he remained in OR for a long while. Finally, we heard he was in phase 1 recovering. Since it was a late afternoon surgery, dr suggested an overnight stay at the hospital to keep him under observation as he started antibiotics due to all the infection scraped out. Ick! Justin did well and kept his sense of humor going asking for "Henry". He had named his cyst~"Henry". LOL  Dr. Khetarpal told him he would deliver his baby (the cyst) but he could not take it home.

Now it's all about cleaning house and finishing 10 loads of laundry from the 2-week vacation we took prior to the surgery. Argh! My back is aching from so much cleaning but soon things will begin to feel normal here.

Thank you all so much for your continued prayers for my boy. Many hugs and blessings to you all.


----------



## LPBeier

Dina, I just saw this.  I am so happy that Justin is doing well.  I will continue to pray for his recovery, and for you.


----------



## pot clanger

Two of my four dogs are ill...  been cleaning up a. lot. of. "stuff."  I have steam cleaned my rug four times in three days (barf), and hosed off dog butts and the lawn like thirty times...  and don't get me started on how GASSY they are....  My avo tree is dropping fruit and sometimes the dogs get to them before I do, and it makes them sick...  I need to have a guacamole party - a three day guacamole party...


----------



## texasgirl

pot clanger said:


> Two of my four dogs are ill... been cleaning up a. lot. of. "stuff." I have steam cleaned my rug four times in three days (barf), and hosed off dog butts and the lawn like thirty times... and don't get me started on how GASSY they are.... My avo tree is dropping fruit and sometimes the dogs get to them before I do, and it makes them sick... I need to have a guacamole party - a three day guacamole party...


 

Ewwwwww  I'm sooooooooo sorry!! That is a task that is even worse than baby diapers!!


----------



## LPBeier

pot clanger said:


> Two of my four dogs are ill... been cleaning up a. lot. of. "stuff." I have steam cleaned my rug four times in three days (barf), and hosed off dog butts and the lawn like thirty times... and don't get me started on how GASSY they are.... My avo tree is dropping fruit and sometimes the dogs get to them before I do, and it makes them sick... I need to have a guacamole party - a three day guacamole party...


 
PC I am really sorry to hear about your sick dogs.  I go through this if my one dog gets any beef or wheat.  And it is difficult because you don't like to see them sick, and at the same time you are mad because you have all this yucky work to do.

By the way, I am definitely in for your guac party!


----------



## VickiQ

Because of my husband's surgeries and not having a lot of time to spare,I have bent over backwards to accomodate my clients with the time I do have,It just never seems to be good enough and they won't take what I have available without being nasty. I suggest other salons but, they won't go.The worst part being these are mostly my friends. This is just the tip of the iceberg that has been building up. Since Jimmy's 1st surgery June 3rd, there have been two suicides of young men in our  area and I am always called upon to help the families- this I don't mind I feel if I had to live through my son's suicide -there had to be a lesson and a reason for it and I can't turn away anyone who seeks my help in this. Last Monday (also being my daughter's 21st birthday) friends of ours lost their 25 year old son to circumstances unknown as of yet.Yes this is alot of loss and tragedy- yes I'm doing every thing I can to ease these  agonizing families,so if I'm a little lack luster about cutting or coloring hair-I'm sorry.Jimmy is also in a kind of a funk because the fact that after the hernia surgery and the tumor removed from his back-he will still be facing a hip replacement sooner rather than later. Granted- and he knows this -it could be MUCH worse-but, it still is not easy for him. Talk about emotionally charged living- welcome to my world-there have been a few things that my dd has also been up to lately that has my hair standing on end.All in all I'm still trying to remain my usual compassionate- "there for you" self and it's wearing me alittle thin. Ok now that I have vented I feel better and will get on with it all-it will all work out the way it's supposed to- it always does! Thanks for the ears and shoulders to cry on.Love and energy, Vicki


----------



## jkath

Vicki, I have no idea how you can keep yourself together.  
- the clients - ugh! I understand how they have the "I'm more important" mentality - used to be a hairdresser myself. Can they call another number, perhaps at the salon, where they could ONLY speak with the appointment desk? If not, can you send out an email blast to all of them with your ONLY appts available, and tell them it's a first come/first served basis for the time being? If that doesn't work, what about contacting a stylist you know and asking if you can start funneling some of your clientele to them? Then, when you get calls, the appt desk can give them the number of who will be their new stylist.
You poor thing!


----------



## expatgirl

Vicki, you need to set priorities....... and stick to them..........true friends will understand..........no one steps on you w/o your your permission.......simple.........set yourself apart if you need the space to recoup............friends will give you space and be there for  you if you  when you need them again..........that's what true friendship is all about.........trust in it.........and lots of hugs along the way........


----------



## VickiQ

jkath said:


> Vicki, I have no idea how you can keep yourself together.
> - the clients - ugh! I understand how they have the "I'm more important" mentality - used to be a hairdresser myself. Can they call another number, perhaps at the salon, where they could ONLY speak with the appointment desk? If not, can you send out an email blast to all of them with your ONLY appts available, and tell them it's a first come/first served basis for the time being? If that doesn't work, what about contacting a stylist you know and asking if you can start funneling some of your clientele to them? Then, when you get calls, the appt desk can give them the number of who will be their new stylist.
> You poor thing!


 (((JKath))) Thank you so much for your concern, The problem lies in which I do hair from my house.I am the only stylist here. Alot of my clients are not well themselves and I provide them with a quiet one on one atmosphere to not only take care of their hair needs but, to relax without alot of buzzing going on around and overstimuli that a regular salon has. I do have stylist friends that I have sent some of my clients to in nearby salons just because there is only one of me and only so many hours in the day BUT, they always come back and I do have a tattoo of sucker on my forehead!!!I have a few clients that are recieving chemo and have no hair but, enjoy a good scalp massage and shoulder to cry on. I know things will work out the way they're supposed to- they always do. LOve and energy, Vicki


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Awww, Vicki, I'm sorry you are being pulled in so many directions. That's what you get for being such a wonderful person! But listen to Expat's advice and allow yourself to say no. Right now, your family is the priority. When all is well again, you can reach out to the other parents who have suffered the tragedy you did. And hair? Well, your clients will still have hair to cut and color when your schedule is back to normal. You may lose a few but in the end, it's not such a big loss. I'd be willing to bet, as Expat said, you'll discover how many true friends you have in your clientele and your community.

As for me, I'll keep you and yours in my prayers until all is right again.


----------



## babetoo

"to thine own self be true"  you can not be there  for family, etc. if at first you don't take care of yourself. unplug the phone and have some quiet time for yourself.

babe


----------



## VickiQ

I honestly, truly love you all!!! 
expatgal- your words of wisdom-I fight with daily but, know that you are 100% right!!
fisher's mom-thank you for your kindness and prayers
jkath-as always a spirit that brightens this whole family
Love and energy to you and yours, Vicki


----------



## Fisher's Mom

pot clanger said:


> Two of my four dogs are ill...  been cleaning up a. lot. of. "stuff."  I have steam cleaned my rug four times in three days (barf), and hosed off dog butts and the lawn like thirty times...  and don't get me started on how GASSY they are....  My avo tree is dropping fruit and sometimes the dogs get to them before I do, and it makes them sick...  I need to have a guacamole party - a three day guacamole party...


I'd love a guac party! And I'm really sorry about the dogs - it's so gross when the get GI problems.


----------



## TanyaK

Thanks to everyone for their kind words with my MIL's passing - appreciate it !


----------



## pot clanger

Miss Tanya... sorry to hear about your Mother in law... blessings to you and yours   

And now back to my regularly scheduled programming of LAMEVILLE and All The Lame Stuff That I Go Through....  and I so wanted to say something other than "Stuff" but I gave up swearing online for Katie E.....

Everything is FINALLY! coming out ok with the Pack...  (pardon the pun)  jeez!  Sooo glad that is over...  now I've got a spider bite in my EAR - I'm not even sure exactly where in my ear, but I am *very* sure that it's *darn* irritating, but not so much that I'd seek a doctor's opinion - again, just LAMENESS -  slight whooshing noise in ear, itchy (read: IRRITATING cause you can't satisfy that itch)  and slightly "hot".... I am *so* going to bed NOW!  Tomorrow is another day...  nitey nite!


----------



## Maverick2272

UM, whoosing noise? Ya know, spiders have been known to lay eggs in peoples ears before... just sayin.


----------



## PattY1

Alix said:


> OK, inspired by Brooksy's bad day yesterday I thought I would post this thread for folks to vent those petty things that make us nuts.
> 
> Mine is sewing related. *My thread keeps breaking*, my bobbin ran out and when I tried to refill it the stupid thing went flying somewhere across the room and the thread wound around the post instead. ARGH! So, I am here for a few minutes to regain my composure and stop swearing at the machine.


 

It is probley old and dry rotted. Replace it. I haven't sewn in years, but I am very familar with this problem, even thread should have a born on date


----------



## luvs

my babe went to florida fer 5 days. in a way i'm relieved to be on my own fer like 5 days! isn't that awful of me. i miss him, though! dinner was lonely without him.


----------



## babetoo

PattY1 said:


> It is probley old and dry rotted. Replace it. I haven't sewn in years, but I am very familar with this problem, even thread should have a born on date


 
went through a similar problem just today. yesterday had problems filling bobbin yesterday. am teaching my gd to sew. didn't think i had any other bobbins so off to joanns for new one. 

went to fill new one and machine simply would not do. then i noticed the bobbin had no little spring loaded tip in center. even though i asked sales person if these were universal bobbins. 

went on a big hunt for some old ones. found two. was afraid i might have same problem and one of the found bobbins had blue thread on it , though darker than what we were using. 

so used it anyway, so stay tuned to see if gd can use it. then thread stop came flying off, then i dropped it twice and had to retrieve it . hopefully is ready to sew, i did test on scrape fabric so hope we are ready for next lessons, she is making a simple dress. of course there is a deadline. people that don't sew, always think it is faster than it is. lol 

babe


----------



## Fisher's Mom

I read somewhere that you can "revive" old thread by putting it in the freezer for a couple of days. It was something about the thread drying out over time. I don't know if it works, though.

I've found that true, too, Babe. People somehow want to believe we can just "whip up" a perfectly fitted dress in a couple of hours! Not me - I'm a slow sewer. (Maybe too many coffee breaks.)


----------



## VickiQ

ok so the last of my clients is coming in a few minutes. I was able to visit with my "families".Thought everything would be smooth sailing and then get an e-mail from my brother that my 81 year old father is in the hospital  for a plethora of reasons and is recieving a pacemaker today and an emergency colonoscopy tomorrow. My father has had colon cancer (as well as prostrate) in the past and it is probably back.The hospital that my father is in is the same hospital that Jimmy's surgery will take place.So I'll go see him tomorrow after Jimmy's pre admits.I'm not very close to my father  and I feel bad about that but, a long time ago I had to accept the situation in order to move forward. I do love him and wish him no ill will-he's not a bad person just lacked a lot in the parenting department.OK no more of this.I will keep repeating my mantra- Things will work out the way they're supposed too."Love and energy, Vicki


----------



## expatgirl

sorry to hear about your father's latest problems, Vicki-------hopes all works out for him and that Jimmy's surgery goes as well as I know it will........take care----here's thinking about you!!!   I know that you'll keep us updated.....


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Vicki, as long as you have no ill-will toward your father, I think you can be at peace with your lack of warm feelings for him. Remember, love and warm, fuzzy feelings at some point must be earned. Sadly, he didn't manage to do this. Right now, the man you share your life with needs you to be strong and healthy for him, emotionally as well as physically. Put your energies there and don't feel bad about what you do or don't feel for your dad. As you said, it will all work out in the end. Until we hear from you, prayers will go out for you and Jimmy and your dad, too! Big Hugs for you too, Sweetie!


----------



## kadesma

Vicki,
we talked about dad a long time ago,when you sent that beautiful tape of your daughter singing..You encouraged her to sing and she did it and it was beautiful..now take some of that and encourage yourself to wish your dad good health and that you care about and for him, then turn your attention to Jimmy and the life you two have shared..Seems to me he has been you support and the one who loves you with no strings, he just loves you and your family..That frees you to give your dad some affection and sooths away the hurt..Your dad has my prayers as does Jimmy, you and your family.
kadesma


----------



## buckytom

vicki, i'm sending ALL of my thoughts and energy to you and jimmy, and your dad, that everything goes well.

i'm glad you can see the larger picture in all of this. just try to keep that in focus.


----------



## Dina

I'm thinking of you Vicki and sending all of my prayers so that all goes well.  Hugs to you dear.

Yesterday was another hard day for my son.  He had a follow-up appt with the surgeon and got three needle aspirations done on the neck due to a lot of swelling.  He has two incisions and got the stitches removed.  He got lightheaded from the anxiety and pain (and so did I but I had to be strong for him).  He goes back Monday morning again for more fluid removal.  Argh!  I wish post-surgeries were easier.  I hate to see my boy go through pain.  I hope Monday is easier on him.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Oh no, Dina! That poor boy has really been through it the past couple of months. I think it's especially hard for young men his age because they often feel like they have to "suck it up" and be macho. I really hope the swelling and fluid collection subsides this weekend. Keep us posted and give him a hug from me. One for you, too!


----------



## miniman

Just look to the end Dina - it will be over soon and he will that much better for having had it all done.


----------



## Mama

I'm so sorry to hear about your son Dina.  I think watching you child go through pain is worse than the pain itself.  You just feel so helpless.  I'll be praying for your son, you and the rest of your family.


----------



## expatgirl

please keep us posted.........


----------



## Barbara L

I'm praying for your son Dina, and for your family.  Also for your situation Vicki.

Barbara


----------



## Dina

Thank you all.  I'll keep you posted.  Hugs and blessings,


----------



## luvs

jake brought his deer's poor mug here & wants to hang him on my wall. he's out of his dagnabbin mind if he's gonna try to ruin my decor with a deer. not today!!


----------



## babetoo

i won't be on all day tomorrow. the stupid park where i live will be working on the electricity tomorrow from 8 am to 4 pm. lordy it ticks me off. 

why do it in the middle of summer, why not in fall when we don't need the air. they are forever turning off the water for repair. you'd think they had the darn things fixed by now. 

i will be fine but they are elderly people in here that can't go outside to be cool. 

see you all after four pm. 

babe


----------



## texasgirl

babetoo said:


> i won't be on all day tomorrow. the stupid park where i live will be working on the electricity tomorrow from 8 am to 4 pm. lordy it ticks me off.
> 
> why do it in the middle of summer, why not in fall when we don't need the air. they are forever turning off the water for repair. you'd think they had the darn things fixed by now.
> 
> i will be fine but they are elderly people in here that can't go outside to be cool.
> 
> see you all after four pm.
> 
> babe


 
then I would hope that they make arrangements for the ones that cannot get some air on their own!! I would demand that one! if they don't and anyhting should happen to any of them, that is neglegence {sp}. 
Will be thinking about you. Stay cool and drink a lot of liquids.


----------



## B'sgirl

How depressing for you! Get one of those battery powered hand held fans! And that's scary leaving the elderly w/out AC. Many of the elderly die every year because of things like heat stroke!


----------



## babetoo

it was just as big a pain as i thought it would be. handyman here painting . he and i drank tons of water and soda. opened all the windows in the house. came back on at two pm instead of four pm which was great. 

pretty much only got to 85 today, but could have been a lot worse.

babe


----------



## Dina

I've done that before Babe ~ once when hubby forgot to pay the bill on time.  Oops.  Imagine getting out of the house with 3 kids?  Let's just say it was a fun afternoon for me.


----------



## CharlieD

I am sad, no I am mad. It is not fair, it is just not fair. I just baried my friend, my classmate, 48 years old.  it is not fair.


----------



## Maverick2272

I am sorry to hear that CharlieD, I agree that is too young to go. My thoughts and prayers with you and his family.


----------



## texasgirl

Oh Charlie, I'm so very sorry! That is too young to go. Keep the memories at heart my friend!! Hugs!!


----------



## Dina

So sorry to hear that Charlie. My condolences to you and your friend's family.


----------



## Mama

So sorry to hear that Charlie.  You just never know.


----------



## kadesma

Charlie, so sorry to hear about your friend, prayers for him and all who need them.

kadesma


----------



## suziquzie

I will pray for you and your friend's family. I'm so sorry. 
My husbands sister was my best friend... she was killed in a car accident about five years ago at age 30.... 
you really do just never know, all you can do is live each day as if there is no second chance.


----------



## DietitianInTraining

So sorry Charlie..


----------



## pdswife

Hugs to you Charlie.


----------



## CharlieD

Thank you everybody. I was so upset last night i couldn't even sleep. Poor wife and parents, how horible it must be for them. But you are right we never know. G-d gives, G-d takes... Thank you.


----------



## Katie H

I'm so sorry Charlie.


----------



## B'sgirl

So sorry, Charlie!


----------



## jpmcgrew

*New Vent*

 Dh and I have been arguing for the past three years about his eye sight he has been getting spots in his eyes and he swears he is OK and says he can see perfectly through the spots and that they are transparent a year ago he said they were around his eyes. I have tried to get him to the eye doctor but he refuses to go just as he refuses to go to any doctor. I don't know whats wrong with his eyes but I worry he will go blind. When I bring up the subject he turns the argument to my smoking. Tonight he is claiming he can see better than he ever did despite the spots. I threaten him with torture if he in fact goes blind ( just kidding) but dang it I can't get him to take it seriously. He is 65 years old I'm only 50. Even though he is 65 he is in pretty good shape he takes his morning walks and can hike the mountain trails here on the ranch with very little effort. Anybody know something about the spots that maybe I can scare him into going to the Optometrist?


----------



## expatgirl

The spots are probably "floaters" JPM and nothing to worry about.......not saying Mr. Hardhead shouldn't go and get his vision checked.....he should....if nothing else than to rule out glaucoma which the likelihood increases with age........now if he starts to see halos around lights that is a totally different steer to deal with........that definitely could be the signs of glaucoma.......I have had these "floaters" since my 30's........scared me to death the first time that I saw them but I'm a hypochondriac and not like your hubby.........your risk is esp. increased if you are near-sighted (see objects better closer up than farther away)...the doctor informed me that bits and pieces of your internal eye makeup tear away and float around......they are most notable when gazing upon white backgrounds and they'll come floating across ever so often......hence "floaters" and its name...........just annoying .......I have them, too.....

Maybe you can "guilt" him into going eventually..........


----------



## babetoo

sorry for your loss, charlie. i know how it feels. i had a friend just barely forty did from a heart attack. she was due here in three days for a visit. it happened in her shower and her husband came home and found her.

when i was forty, my friend , same age, as i was , died on the operating table for routine eye surgery. had an embolism and died. we had been friends since jr. high. 

it hurts a lot . the best to you

babe


----------



## jpmcgrew

expatgirl said:


> The spots are probably "floaters" JPM and nothing to worry about.......not saying Mr. Hardhead shouldn't go and get his vision checked.....he should....if nothing else than to rule out glaucoma which the likelihood increases with age........now if he starts to see halos around lights that is a totally different steer to deal with........that definitely could be the signs of glaucoma.......I have had these "floaters" since my 30's........scared me to death the first time that I saw them but I'm a hypochondriac and not like your hubby.........your risk is esp. increased if you are near-sighted (see objects better closer up than farther away)...the doctor informed me that bits and pieces of your internal eye makeup tear away and float around......they are most notable when gazing upon white backgrounds and they'll come floating across ever so often......hence "floaters" and its name...........just annoying .......I have them, too.....
> 
> Maybe you can "guilt" him into going eventually..........


 
 I know what the floaters are I get them once in a great, great while but what ever DH has when he described it a year ago definitely sounded like Glaucoma. He is so stubborn about going to a doctor so am I but I do go to the Doctor. My site is better far away than close up I don't know what his is because he will not admit to anything. I wear reading glasses but he is the kind of person that would never admit he needs glasses. At this point I just want him to go find out what the problem is or isn't.


----------



## expatgirl

You know......my DH was the same way about getting his colonoscopy......he had been instructed to get one when he was 50.....at age 54 and pleading his work schedule which was not an exaggeration I finally took matters into my own hands.......arranged his Dr. visit and test.....not an easy thing to do where we live as the waiting list is as long as your colon.....little bit of rectal humor there ......anyway when he came into town I just said "you have a Dr's apptmt. this afternoon and off we went.......he didn't have a choice....the test was the next day....  the room was FULL...would you believe that they found a precancerous polyp?  No history whatsoever in his family on either side.....he was the first......Dr. said that it would only  have taken 8 years to have perhaps been too late.......and this man eats like a cow........nothing but roughage........and no smoking and little drinking....moderate exercise..........go figure........I know what it's like to deal with a stubborn person......believe me.......hope that you can change his mind esp. if you think it's glaucome......it's such a treatable condition.....my MiL had it for years and took drops and then finally it went away.......


----------



## suziquzie

My husband made the coffee this morning to help me out while I made him breakfast...
It's like water with a coffee bean floated in it.


----------



## texasgirl

lol. a little caffeinated water, huh?


----------



## luvs

suziquzie said:


> My husband made the coffee this morning to help me out while I made him breakfast...
> It's like water with a coffee bean floated in it.


 
they try!!


----------



## pdswife

and they fail...but we love them anyway.


----------



## suziquzie

I know for a fact I am getting to the coffee before he gets home tomorrow....
and from now on!
He usually does just fine.... maybe he was sleepy. Yeah, thats it.


----------



## pdswife

...bladder infection...


----------



## miniman

Drink lots of unaldeteratede water - that should help.


----------



## suziquzie

awww sorry pds, those suck. 
Cranberry juice is supposed to help too.


----------



## pdswife

Thanks guys~


----------



## texasgirl

pds, go to a drugstore and get you some AZO standard. This helps with the pain VERY well!! Just watch, turns everything orange, lol 
It will seriously be worth getting it, I promise.


----------



## pdswife

I have some TG.  It helps and it's such a pretty shade of orange. LOL~!


----------



## texasgirl

pdswife said:


> I have some TG. It helps and it's such a pretty shade of orange. LOL~!


 

Isn't though?


----------



## texasgirl

a/c froze up!! I'm sick of this!! I'm just thankful that it wasn't last week when it was 105 with index 107!! It's just 97 today.


----------



## Chico Buller

Oh, boy, can I vent.

You're sitting at a stoplight on a Dyna, and you think you hear a Fat-Boy rumble up next to you.

As the light turns, you look over and it's a wannabee on a Shadow.

Ticks you off, don't it?


----------



## expatgirl

pdswife said:


> I have some TG.  It helps and it's such a pretty shade of orange. LOL~!



Oh, I'm so sorry to hear as I'm a VETERAN of these kinds of infections.....if you haven't already do go to the Dr. and get your urine tested.......it only takes minutes and if necessary you'll need to get on antibiotics if it's a bacterial infection......you don't want this moving up into your kidneys or you will have real problems......don't put this off......my daughter in law did and they nearly hospitalized her......she knows that when she gets one to go to the Dr. immediately.........for temporary relief yes, the AZO is great, as well as taking cranberry pills and lactobacillus (more concentrated than juices or youghurt.........hope that you feel better soon


----------



## Barbara L

_***SCREAM***_

No, that didn't help much, but it helps a little. I'm going to get through this _wonderful_ vacation experience one way or another. 

Barbara
And most of it really is wonderful. Traveling with my sweetie is great!!!


----------



## kadesma

Barbara L said:


> _***SCREAM***_
> 
> No, that didn't help much, but it helps a little. I'm going to get through this _wonderful_ vacation experience one way or another.
> 
> Barbara
> And most of it really is wonderful. Traveling with my sweetie is great!!!


Good heavens what brought that about? Need a shoulder Barb?

kades


----------



## Barbara L

Thanks cj!  I actually just spilled my guts about it in the mod section, so you can check it out there.  Otherwise it has to be by PM.  

Barbara


----------



## pdswife

expatgirl said:


> Oh, I'm so sorry to hear as I'm a VETERAN of these kinds of infections.....if you haven't already do go to the Dr. and get your urine tested.......it only takes minutes and if necessary you'll need to get on antibiotics if it's a bacterial infection......you don't want this moving up into your kidneys or you will have real problems......don't put this off......my daughter in law did and they nearly hospitalized her......she knows that when she gets one to go to the Dr. immediately.........for temporary relief yes, the AZO is great, as well as taking cranberry pills and lactobacillus (more concentrated than juices or youghurt.........hope that you feel better soon


 

Yep, I did go to the dr.!and yep, antibiotics were given.


----------



## expatgirl

oh, I'm so glad to hear, pdswife.............I think that bladder infections are the worst along with other maladies....they disrupt your whole life and the pain and urgency everytime you hit the bathroom is just unrelenting........years ago I knew that I had the beginnings of one and actually went and had a urine test ........negative........a few days later after being on my feet all day from running after first graders I come home and am running to the bathroom every 10 minutes.......by the time the doctor sees me that long night of pure pain and misery at 9pm the nurse asks for a urine sample......I hand her back a cup of blood........even the professional that she was.....raised her eyes in amazement........it turned out to be hemorrhagic cystis where you are literally sloughing off the lining of your bladder......the Dr. gave me some antibiotics and a wonderful medicine for the pain (stronger than AZO)  and it's not like I really put this off......yep, glad to hear that you're on antibiotics and hopefully you're feeling better


----------



## Dina

Pdswife,
Hope you're feeling better from that infection. Did you get antibiotics?

DH and I have had a very rough day. I'm at my last nerve and at the verge of crying from so much stress. DH and I simply need some time to relax without our boys. Sorry to say that but our daughter doesn't give us ANY grief ~ thank God. The boys have to be told over and over to clean up after themselves. On top of it all, our 14 year old lost his phone charger, misplaced his iPod shuffle, and decided to take my daughter's iPod today and broke it. We made him pay her whatever allowance he had on him ($9). So now he owes her $191 more for the iPod. In addition, he has to work (mowing the lawn) to earn enough to get another phone charger. That's going to take him a little over 6 months...argh! It hurts to punish them and be after him all the time but we're so fed up with his irresponsibility. Our little one also broke the computer from our stationary bike.  Great!  What next?!  I'm so stress and tired.


----------



## pdswife

Dina... hope tomorrow is better for you....!


----------



## expatgirl

Dina, your 14 year is going thru a normal phase..........it may actually end in about 2 years...........you're lucky it's NOT your daughter..........girls are the ones who give their parents the big headaches during 13-16 in my opinion...........your son will be "normal" again when he reaches his 20's.........try and not compare him to his sister, however,  if you can have a relative watch them for the weekend and you and DH get away even if it's to a hotel downtown........I did so much crying and pulling out hair over my two and now you'd never know that they were the same kids.......I've had the same reports from others.......teen years ARE stressful......they are full of horrormones and their brains are on the back burner....hence why your son is probably losing everything he can gets his hands on...of course continue making him be responsible........I hope that you and DH can get away..........


----------



## kitchenelf

I forgot that my stones can't go in a 400 degree oven and I broke my favorite and most used 15" stone baking a peach and blueberry galette!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I NEVER bake - I was so proud of myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## kadesma

Dina,
I was lucky with my kids,they had the normal problems, girls, boys,new cloths, but thank god no I'pods or any of that junk.. Don't get upset, but what the heck do they need those for? So they can yak to friends? Texting? If it were me, I'd collect all of them and that would be it.. They don't need to be constantly on a phone..And as to breaking things, they need to ask before they use things and then it's for a short time and only within limits...If they want these things, then they work for them and there are limmits here too..You don't need to work yourself to death to provide these things and then be treated this way..They need to straighten up NOW . I now that old song but Mom everybody has one. Baloney, my dad would have said, you don't so not everyone has one!!! You've provided so much for them now you are a wreck because they just don't care about things, mom will get us a new one, well surprise kids the gravy train has ended, now YOU pay and get those goodies and then maybe you will take care of them and begin to respect what we mom and dad have done for you..
Get a couple of days Dina, then lower the boom on them
kadesma


----------



## expatgirl

oh, that hurts..............I broke my favorite one years ago.........I nearly cried


----------



## expatgirl

my vent is nothing earth-shattering just annoying.........3 weeks ago the landlady contacts me and wants to send a relative over to collect the curtains to clean them.......ok radar antennae go up.....is she going to sell this place?????  Also sends 24 year old daughter to take pictures of the apt. for insurance purposes.........sorry antennae is still up.........so they take the curtains but I do throw myself in front of the silk ones in the living room, bedroom, and office.......I absolutely refuse to let them take those..........silk needs special attention........ok, a week later they come back and I'm at the computer and I decide after an hour to have a look-see......OMG!!!  You couldn't even see thru the sheers they were so wrinkled....I think that they washed them and just bundled them up into bags...........they were awful to look at............since I didn't speak Russian I called up my husband's secretary to explain to her what was going on and then she talked to the relative.......even he admitted to her that they looked bad but he had already called the landlady and she was coming over in 30 minutes................great......then she'd see for herself..........well, she never showed up.....relative leaves because all the sheers look bad.......and then another week goes by..........Nada.............then we have to leave for a week.........I told my DH......I'm not worried..........once Ludmilla (she helps to keep my apt. clean and works for the landlady the other 4 days) sees them she'll handle it..........sure enough we come home and the sheers are gone.......I saw Ludmilla yesterday and we both were able to understand each other about the curtains...........that's exactly what happened.... she called the landlady and told her how bad they looked...now when do they come back????  Who knows..........I'm not worrying about it......didn't want them to go in the first place...........but I'm not the owner.........


----------



## Dina

Thanks expatty and Kades.  I grew up not having anything when I was a kid and that taught me to value everything we have now.  We do follow through with consequences when the kids are not responsible ~ and I DON'T budge!  Dad is a bit softer on them and I hate it.  I usually have to put DH in line when he starts to soften up.  lol  We usually agree on the punishments thankfully.  I know most kids now-a-days have and WANT everything but most of their high tech stuff has been bought with their allowance and birthday $$.  Our teaching to them is if they really want something that is not necessary, they darn better work for it.

I am glad to say that today has been a wonderful day.  The kids have had a taste of my irritability, disappointment and consequences.  Oh and better yet, the darn iPod worked.  Argh!!!  My daughter let the battery run out then recharged it and IT WORKED!  Justin can at least earn enough money to get another charger for the phone, if he really wants to use his cell phone again.  Justin made a very nice breakfast for everyone this morning and has been very calm and helpful with our little one.  No bickering around today!  Thank you Lord!  I called the soccer association to inquire about him working on Saturdays as a referee and I may have found him a job.  The owner asked me to bring him in soon to get him signed up to begin working in September.  He's so excited about it!


----------



## kadesma

Fantastic Dina, I figured things were more like your telling me now than they were last night..I got that you were really worked up and unhappy and I don't blame you..Thatis what makes a thread like this perfect. YOu can tell it like it is right now and it makes you get some release...Sounds like today is 100 times better..Good enjoy it mommy..of all of us you deserve it.

kadesma


----------



## luvs

dina, i was a stressful16-year old. my Parents just chose thier battles. your stressors would've been thier stressors, too. you chose a proper route. i am thier angelic daughter now at 27.
seriously, i should've been grounded from 14 till i was 20.

i'm glad stuff went so well afterwords with your kiddos! great job, dina!!


----------



## suziquzie

kades and expat, you 2 are THE BEST at talking us newer moms down from the ledge. 
Thank you thank you both for being you.


----------



## kadesma

suziquzie said:


> kades and expat, you 2 are THE BEST at talking us newer moms down from the ledge.
> Thank you thank you both for being you.


Thanks Suzi,
 having been where you are now, and having children your age how can we not hold out our hands? When you meet someone and get to care for them, you are just there anytime they need you.

kades


----------



## Dina

kadesma said:


> Thanks Suzi,
> having been where you are now, and having children your age how can we not hold out our hands? When you meet someone and get to care for them, you are just there anytime they need you.
> 
> kades


Thank you too ladies.  I love you both (Kades & Expat) for being there for me.


----------



## LadyCook61

I wanted to leave at noon to go the funeral home and last minute hubby decides we should put the dog in a kennel since we would not be home until 11 pm tonight and tomorrow is the funeral and would be gone all day  again.  Now I have to wait until he returns and gets dressed to go to the funeral home.  He didn't want to leave the dog in the house all day nor tied up outside .  It's a 2 hr drive to the funeral home , if we don't get traffic and not get lost.


----------



## texasgirl

LC, that is just aggravating when you are ready to get on the road and something comes up like that. He couldn't have planned to do that before?? If it had been planned, it wouldn't be bad.


----------



## LadyCook61

texasgirl said:


> LC, that is just aggravating when you are ready to get on the road and something comes up like that. He couldn't have planned to do that before?? If it had been planned, it wouldn't be bad.


 
He always does this , last minute stuff.


----------



## deelady

*Can someone talk me down off the ledge please!*

I was just hired as a lead teacher at a school and the teacher who was to be my assistant (whom has been there only 5 months herself) obviously was not happy for my being there. She does not have what is needed to be a lead herself and in her words has no desire to acheive what is needed yet in her mind she IS the lead. In my first two days of getting aquainted and observing their routine, what I observed was how sloppy, unprofesional, and lazy she was! Circle time consisted of one book being read, and asking what day it was then telling the kids to go play! All she did all day was sit and make snide sarcastic comments to the kids all day or chit chat with her friends. Any questions I asked of her were answered in one word answers and then dismissed by walking away. Now I consider myself to be VERY easy going and open mided but this was too much! As well as every chance she got she was stepping out real quick for this or that that always ended up being a gossip fest in someones doorway. 
With in a couple of days I thought maybe I should just step up and start speaking of wanting to get started on the planning of Septembers displays and lesson plans, I made a particular suggestion for an idea on the cubbie labels...her short and sharp response..."I don't know what I'm going to do with them yet" and walked away....
as the day went on she was walking around whispering to every teacher possible and if I came near, sudden silence. This was nothing I even wanted to to bother with...I would rather assist for someone else than to deal with her! So I went to the directors office, suggested I would be of better use elswhere, and that was that. No questions asked! Alot of eyebrows raised but I am not here to play battle of the wills with a know-it-all teeny bopper (sorry thats what she acts like!)
I really am currious to see what they do with that class because they said it wasn't a problem due to the class was in ratio but they weren't mentioning the fact she is not qualified to be a lead by far. 
Many of the other teachers seem to have the same mentality as her, act as if everything is a bother and don't want to be there... I wish I could just scream "Then why are you here??" I seem to be looked down upon when asked of my experience and they come to find out I have over 8 yrs...is that too much for their liking?? 

Also I don't want to just leave to find a different school because my 1 1/2 yr old DD also attends there and I took her out of a school 2 months ago because I was not happy with her care, plus I am happy with the teacher she will be moving up to in the very near future. So any decissions I make will also involve her.....
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





 and of course it would be rediculous to miss out on tuition discount by me working at one school and her attending another!!

And now today I had to call off because my daughter had a fever of 101, and when I called in I got the nastiest attitude. I know they are not short staffed and they know something is going around so what am I suppose to do?? Bring my 1 yr old in with a fever and completely congested?? Seems I can't win with anything these days!


----------



## texasgirl

Ok, had I been hired as the LEAD and she was suppose to be the assistant, that put's you as her leader as well. If she isn't doing what an assistant is suppose to do, then go and ask for another assistant. She was testing you to see if you would take the lead and I'm afraid that you showed her you were not going to. That is probably what happens to anyone that goes into that room. Sounds like she is a bully and maybe, the others are too, or are just going along with her. 
Take the lead and make the assistant assist YOU with YOUR choices for the class, not the other way around. Maybe your lead will make others do the sameYou sound like you know what you want and can do, do it and to heck with the gossip mongers.
I hope you don't take that wrong, because, it wasn't meant to be that way. It's just that sometimes, someone looking in will get a different perspective of it.


----------



## deelady

All perspectives are welcome that is why I posted.....I think her problem was the teacher who was lead before was a close friend of hers and she wasn't happy that she left but with her leaving I think she expected to be the lead in place of her wich she in essence was for about a week or so. But she either doesnt understand or does not care that it is illegal for her to run the class alone. The reason why I left the class instead of putting her in her place was because I saw what type of person she was going to be like to work with (very simular to the last teacher I taught with  before for 3 yrs and I was miserable) and it just wasn't worth it. I'm not there for the title but to teach, and I know I could not be relaxed and enjoy my work while being around someone who cared more about all the he said she said than the well being of the kids and how we could bring the most to their days.
The teacher I am being placed with is very nice but I'm afraid I'm not done dealing with the wrath of the fellow teachers (exp. two teachers asked if I was married to my DD father and when I said not yet but we live together they straight walked away snickering and giggling with out another word.....are we the students here...??)


----------



## texasgirl

omg, that is just rediculous. How childish some people are. It's really sad that you have to deal with that!! I have been in companies that have miserable people like that. Their trouble is that they are not happy in their sorry lives and have to make others feel bad. I wish you luck and I hope you are able to ignore them and teach your kids well. The school, I hope, will recognize this.


----------



## deelady

Looks like I just have to take it one day at a time and just do what I have to do......unfortunately I think what I am facing is a group of women who are all under the age of 23 except 2 teachers and they really have no plans to be there long. I just feel like the majority of the people I am meeting lately (not just at this school) have just been not nice people, in fact just flat out rude and I am starting to wonder if its me!......I feel like I have sucker stamped on my forehead!

Anyways thanks for letting me vent....with fiance in Iraq my one yr old is my olny set of ears these days, and to be honest her advice isn't always sound.....


----------



## texasgirl

Jeez, next time one of the village idiots snickers, ask them what is the reason behind it. If they say something about your living arrangements, ask them where their husband/whatever is. When they say where, just look at them pitifully, as if sad for them and say, wow, mine is defending your right to be here, LOL. Maybe that would shut them up!!!


----------



## deelady

That is so true and thanks for helping me see the brighter side!

You know I don't consider myself old at all normally (31) but there I feel ancient!


----------



## Dina

Dee,
It's very hard to work with envious people like that.  Unfortunately, they're everywhere we just have to learn to live with them.   Stick to your plans dear.  Don't let anyone spoil your career.


----------



## deelady

Thanks Dina, I've always known people like that are everywhere but it just seems lately we have been surrounded by them and its been getting harder and harder to find people we can let our guard down around and not worry about finding a knife in our backs the second we turn around.....we are even getting it currently from our "best friends" and even our families! The day before my DF left for Iraq his family left a VERY NASTY message on his phone all because we were invited to a restaurant/jazz club for his sisters b-day and another sister was not told about it......we didnt do the inviting and it was something the younger sister didnt enjoy anyways...but somehow the blame was all put on us and now we/me is ruining the family! The day before he was to leave, cussing and yelling at him as if we don't have more important things to stress about right now!!!! I'm sorry its been building up.....I've just been getting so fed up with people not caring about anything but what pleases them lately!


----------



## suziquzie

aw deelady, people really do suck dont they? this is HIS own family before he ships off?? thats horrible. 
I really have a hard time with people these days too. Everything else is someone else's fault, no accountability. 
Ok now I feel old!!!!


----------



## miniman

Deelady - keep strong, we will provide your support - feel free to vent whenever you need to. You will be in my thoughts and prayers over the next few days.


----------



## deelady

Half the time I WISH it were MY own fault so I can see the light and fix the problem or at least apologise for the situation, but when you are absolutely sure you did nothing wrong then what.....it gets old turning the other cheek! I'm running out of cheeks!! 

And thanks for the kind words you guys, that is why I come here because I know there IS still a pocket of good caring people out there....


----------



## Dina

I'm sorry about the family issues Dee. Sucks sometimes but we just have to move on. I'll pray that all gets better for you at work.

Well today is not a very good day for me.  I feel crabby with other issues and somewhat worried about Dad.  Talked to him this morning and he said he almost fainted.  His diabetes is really weakening him and I hate it.


----------



## kadesma

deelady said:


> Half the time I WISH it were MY own fault so I can see the light and fix the problem or at least apologise for the situation, but when you are absolutely sure you did nothing wrong then what.....it gets old turning the other cheek! I'm running out of cheeks!!
> 
> And thanks for the kind words you guys, that is why I come here because I know there IS still a pocket of good caring people out there....


Why would you let some pea brains make you feel old? Because you have smarts and they don't!!!? I've found no answer sometimes works like a charm..when people whisper just lound enough for you to hear that is their game..Mine with this kind is to act like I don't hear them..If I'm asked a pointed question , I don't give an answer I flatly say sorry, I Only discuss things like this with people I trust...Anything else you'd like to know? And sometime a good stare down to a question I don't want to answer works like magic..JUst never be afraid to stand up for yourself these people are not your friends so you owe them nothing...Be polite in these answers and it will take them a few minutes to realize they have been had..Then watch the look that comes over their faces.I know it gets old having to face this, but once you've stood your ground,they get the message..Chin up, and get your answers in place and don't be afraid to use them...
kadesma


----------



## deelady

Man I certainly feel like a cry baby esp when people like Dina's dad have much more severe problems. I'm sorry to hear about your father Dina, I know how difficult diabetes is to deal with. Too many in my life have suffered with it. My prayers go out to him.

Thanks for the great advice Kadesma, those are very good suggestions, wish I could think to react like that when in the situation....


----------



## luvs

i'm so upset over food! 

i love to cook, & haven't been cooking fer so many days cause jake lives on fast food.
i didn't before i met him & now i begrudgingly consume burgers & stuff i don't want from fast food joints.

he began bringing me double cheeseburgers & nugggets & subway & chic-fil-a & arby's or taking me there. it angers me. he's hindering me in my kitchen.

i appreciate his sentiment, 'cept i was raised on family dinners, not cheeseburgers.

i got so upset tonite tears actually formed. i wanted to_ cook_, not dine on nuggets. 

then i'm angry with myself fer not appreciateing him more.

i don't complain, cause food is love, & my babe is showing his love through cheeseburgers.


----------



## kadesma

Dina said:


> I'm sorry about the family issues Dee. Sucks sometimes but we just have to move on. I'll pray that all gets better for you at work.
> 
> Well today is not a very good day for me.  I feel crabby with other issues and somewhat worried about Dad.  Talked to him this morning and he said he almost fainted.  His diabetes is really weakening him and I hate it.


Dina,
is dad weak from dialysis or the diabetes let's say low blood sugar? If I can help in any way PM me and I'll gladly try. I use to get very weak with low blood pressure after hemo I would need to sleep at least 2 hours, then I'd feel better..I learned not to take my b/p meds and then eat right after hemo, or It would just knock me to the ground.
kades


----------



## Barbara L

luvs said:


> i'm so upset over food!
> 
> i love to cook, & haven't been cooking fer so many days cause jake lives on fast food.
> i didn't before i met him & now i begrudgingly consume burgers & stuff i don't want from fast food joints.
> 
> he began bringing me double cheeseburgers & nugggets & subway & chic-fil-a & arby's or taking me there. it angers me. he's hindering me in my kitchen.
> 
> i appreciate his sentiment, 'cept i was raised on family dinners, not cheeseburgers.
> 
> i got so upset tonite tears actually formed. i wanted to_ cook_, not dine on nuggets.
> 
> then i'm angry with myself fer not appreciateing him more.
> 
> i don't complain, cause food is love, & my babe is showing his love through cheeseburgers.


Maybe you could set up a schedule.  Home-cooked meals on M-W-F-Sunday and fast food on T-Th-Sat.  Or fast food only on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.  Does he know how much you love to cook?  (You don't have to answer this)--Are you cooking things he likes?

Barbara


----------



## luvs

barb, that's a great plan!!! i presented that to him, & he said he loves when i cook, so we agreed- cook when i want, fast food in-between.

i cook food he asks for, & he eats so gratefully he makes appreciative noises, 'cept my babe gets so hungry he can't wait fer a meal i'm cooking. he aims right to mcdonalds, & brings me a meal, too. man, i luv him, he tries.
if we knew his schedule better, i'd time my meals around him.

now if i could introduce my guy to escargot...


----------



## Adillo303

Luvs - You are way cool. I had a GF once that got me into eating out most all the time. I got so that I had memorized the menu at every local eatery. This is why I learned to cook. I found that I likes what I made more than what "they" made. 

from there I started just cooking for myself and she could do whatever. Not in a confrontational way just do what you want. Then I found more company at dinner and the she likes the food as well. She is long gone and I continued cooking. I really like it.

I think the idea of setting a schedule is a great one, and I think that over time you will both find that you eat in more. Eating is actually a very special thing. First you eat with your nose as you smell the food bein g prepared. Then you eat with your eyes as you look at the presentation. Finally, you eat the food and share the company. A quiet unhurried meal with good company is a beautiful thing. You ar eon the right track. Just my 2 cents. - AC


----------



## Dina

Thanks Dee.

Kades: Dad's sugar level was very low that morning. Once he had a few sips of juice, he started feeling better. He gets very weak after dialysis but he sleeps it off and he's good to go after a few hours.

You know guys. I certainly feel that a lot of other people have it worse than us. I met a lady that approached me and my daughter at WalMart the other day. I was snack shopping for the kids (which was quite a buy of snacks) and she and her 13 year old son approached me. They looked very humble and needy and the lady asked if I would be willing to hire her to clean my house, car or garden in order for her to make money to buy school supplies for her son. She said that her son was very embarrassed that she was approaching people for help but that she had no other way. I felt horrible for her and took her number to call her soon. I think I will call just to offer her some stuff the kids have left behind or a bit of money to help her kid. I have not stopped thinking about her and their situation. I feel blessed. Just wanted to share.


----------



## kadesma

Dina said:


> Thanks Dee.
> 
> Kades: Dad's sugar level was very low that morning. Once he had a few sips of juice, he started feeling better. He gets very weak after dialysis but he sleeps it off and he's good to go after a few hours.
> 
> You know guys. I certainly feel that a lot of other people have it worse than us. I met a lady that approached me and my daughter at WalMart the other day. I was snack shopping for the kids (which was quite a buy of snacks) and she and her 13 year old son approached me. They looked very humble and needy and the lady asked if I would be willing to hire her to clean my house, car or garden in order for her to make money to buy school supplies for her son. She said that her son was very embarrassed that she was approaching people for help but that she had no other way. I felt horrible for her and took her number to call her soon. I think I will call just to offer her some stuff the kids have left behind or a bit of money to help her kid. I have not stopped thinking about her and their situation. I feel blessed. Just wanted to share.


Dina,
when I was on hemo I had the smae reaction..It was because my blood pressure would nose dive..I often felt as If I was going to pass out, so a nap helped..Eating right after I finished a session seemed to make this feeling worse..I made sure to check my blood glucose and take my pressure..that is how we discovered that my bp was doing a nose dive and we made an effort to catch it. If someone goes with him to his session then you can be ready to help him..You don't want him on his own,after a session..If I can help in any way let me know. hugs to your dad 
kadesma


----------



## Barbara L

Dina said:


> ...You know guys. I certainly feel that a lot of other people have it worse than us. I met a lady that approached me and my daughter at WalMart the other day. I was snack shopping for the kids (which was quite a buy of snacks) and she and her 13 year old son approached me. They looked very humble and needy and the lady asked if I would be willing to hire her to clean my house, car or garden in order for her to make money to buy school supplies for her son. She said that her son was very embarrassed that she was approaching people for help but that she had no other way. I felt horrible for her and took her number to call her soon. I think I will call just to offer her some stuff the kids have left behind or a bit of money to help her kid. I have not stopped thinking about her and their situation. I feel blessed. Just wanted to share.


I love your kind and gentle nature.  You have such a good heart.  

Barbara


----------



## luvs

awww, dina, that brought tears to my eyes. you're so sweet.


----------



## babetoo

my puter is doing it again. can't use spell check or use smilies. when i type name it appears next to text instead of below.what do u think it is. site or me. tried going out and back in. no helpbabe


----------



## LadyCook61

not a good day .  so far I stepped on glass with my barefeet, jabbed a thumb getting flatware out of the dishwasher, knocked over a tray that had cornmeal in it onto the floor, then had to sweep up the mess.  dryer hose came apart so hubby has to get a new part for it.


----------



## Lynd

Dina, I hope you can help the lady and her son out. It's nice of you to think of them


----------



## expatgirl

suziquzie said:


> kades and expat, you 2 are THE BEST at talking us newer moms down from the ledge.
> Thank you thank you both for being you.



Thanks, SuzieQ, I just got back from having some medical tests done out of country.....sorry had no time to reply and have really missed DC.......I think all is ok but we'll see.....hey, I've been on that ledge, too, at times along with most moms,  but you'll find that as time goes on your kids will grow up and  will do well despite your best efforts to mess them up.......  just breathe thru it and I totally agree about kades' wise and long experience....she had 5...his and hers no less.......don't jump off yet.......


----------



## expatgirl

LadyCook61 said:


> not a good day .  so far I stepped on glass with my barefeet, jabbed a thumb getting flatware out of the dishwasher, knocked over a tray that had cornmeal in it onto the floor, then had to sweep up the mess.  dryer hose came apart so hubby has to get a new part for it.



OMG, one of those days!!!!!!!!!!  So sorry to hear!!!!!!!  Hope all is down to normal and you've gone on a long walk thru the woods with your camera and have snapped some soothing nature pics.........imagine my surprise when I got up one morning to be greeted by a flooded hallway from the washer......phone was jangling from DH's office wanting to know where I was the evening before.........I was in bed.........the water cascaded into the flat below us and into their closets......what a mess.......I had turned on the washer before going to bed.......and apparently the hose had come loose and water was everywhere.....I could have cried.......our company had to pay for the damage done to the apt. below us......that was the last time I ever left that behemoth by itself......no kidding it takes 4 hours to do one tiny load of laundry............it's ridiculous.......hang in there, LC


----------



## Lynd

LadyCook61 said:


> not a good day .  so far I stepped on glass with my barefeet, jabbed a thumb getting flatware out of the dishwasher, knocked over a tray that had cornmeal in it onto the floor, then had to sweep up the mess.  dryer hose came apart so hubby has to get a new part for it.



ouch. doesn't sound like a good day at all


----------



## Dina

Expat,
I will pray that your results come back negative. I was wondering where you were; glad you're back with us.

LC,
I hope you're having a better day. I have those off days quite often. What helps is locking myself in a room to be alone while I take a nice warm cup of chamomile tea, or any relaxing tea. Take a breather moment for yourself then go back to it.

I was going to vent out about my moods this morning, but reading your posts here, I will refrain. I know my moods are not from pms. I'm beginning to worry that it might be pre-menopause symptoms...ick!!! I'm hoping it's only what we all go through ~ needing a moment ALONE.


----------



## expatgirl

Thanks, Dina, I hope so, too.........I'm sure that all will work out fine......did accept you as a friend no matter what the internet says.............glad to have you on board.......debs


----------



## deelady

Hope everyones day gets better....sounds like a doozy for everyone!

How you feeling Expat? doing ok?

Dina please keep us updated if you speak to that woman again, although if she is swallowing her pride enough to get out there and do what ever needed to get her son what he needs then I'm sure they will get through these hard times! God be with them.


----------



## babetoo

guess i vented to the right person. a while back i ordered pizza from a place i have used for thirty years.

lets just say it was awful. called spoke to mgn.  and he said would send me a coupon for another. he did not. 

called this evening and spoke to a different mgn. and he sent me out a fresh hot pizza on the spot. was perfect and was my dinner.

the noisy wheel gets taken care of i guess.


----------



## expatgirl

oh, believe me the squeaky wheel usually does get taken care of.........when patients started to complain about their long waits (some of these docs double and tripled booked every 15 minutes (I know....I took care of their apptmt books at lunch!!!) it was the patients who complained that got sent back ahead of anyone else.......will never forget a bigwig real estate agent whose first comment to me was.....Hi, I'm so and so and tell Dr. $$$$ office that I'll be da....d if I'll wait......her assertiveness just tickled me.....I called his office (I was the receptionist at the time) and I repeated word for word what she had told me in front of her......she smiled at my cheekiness.....but the office told me to send her RIGHT BACK........


----------



## expatgirl

deelady said:


> Hope everyones day gets better....sounds like a doozy for everyone!
> 
> How you feeling Expat? doing ok?
> 
> Dina please keep us updated if you speak to that woman again, although if she is swallowing her pride enough to get out there and do what ever needed to get her son what he needs then I'm sure they will get through these hard times! God be with them.



Thanks, deelady, everything is fine.....not feeling ill.......just female problems.......should hear something soon.......KZ is just not the place to have tests run so I had to go to the UK..........


----------



## babetoo

expatgirl said:


> oh, believe me the squeaky wheel usually does get taken care of.........when patients started to complain about their long waits (some of these docs double and tripled booked every 15 minutes (I know....I took care of their apptmt books at lunch!!!) it was the patients who complained that got sent back ahead of anyone else.......will never forget a bigwig real estate agent whose first comment to me was.....Hi, I'm so and so and tell Dr. $$$$ office that I'll be da....d if I'll wait......her assertiveness just tickled me.....I called his office (I was the receptionist at the time) and I repeated word for word what she had told me in front of her......she smiled at my cheekiness.....but the office told me to send her RIGHT BACK........


 
i am guilty of that as well. if i have to wait more that fifteen minutes, i complain. i arrived on time and if i didn't he wouldn't take me. usually that does the trick. i am old and don't care what they think of me. 



babe


----------



## expatgirl

Good for you, Babe!!!  I'll wait 45 minutes before I complain but I don't have an outside job to go to either so I'm a bit more flexible.......this real estate agent was busy......she had signs all over Houston......her time was important and valuable to her and her Dr. was guilty of double and triple booking patients every 15 minutes......go Vonnie go......anytime she came in thereafter she was sweet as pie to me.....and I knew to call  her Dr.'s office......too funny.....


----------



## Dina

I'm feeling so sad.  Tomorrow is my youngest's first day in kindergarten and I'm going to miss him so much.  I already feel so lonely.  Is this feeling normal?  I didn't feel this way with my older kids.


----------



## kadesma

Dina said:


> I'm feeling so sad.  Tomorrow is my youngest's first day in kindergarten and I'm going to miss him so much.  I already feel so lonely.  Is this feeling normal?  I didn't feel this way with my older kids.


 Of course it's normal..He is your baby..I remember when my littlest left for that first day..It was terrible..But then I decided to make her favorite cookies for her and it turned into four kinds of cookies one  kind for each of the kids..When they came home we put down a blanket and had cookies and milk and talked about the first day of class and the teacher..Then I shooe'd them outside to play til dinner..My lttle one came in and gave me a big hug and a kiss and ran back outside to play..Things were alright after that..Just small twinges as things progressed and school became an everyday thing...
Now my baby teaches 4th. grade and has two babies of her own..My Ethan and Olivia It will get easier Dina as you watch how he grows and changes.. Just make sure to give him a big hug coming and going...
kades


----------



## Barbara L

kadesma said:


> Of course it's normal..He is your baby..I remember when my littlest left for that first day..It was terrible..But then I decided to make her favorite cookies for her and it turned into four kinds of cookies one kind for each of the kids..When they came home we put down a blanket and had cookies and milk and talked about the first day of class and the teacher..Then I shooe'd them outside to play til dinner..My lttle one came in and gave me a big hug and a kiss and ran back outside to play..Things were alright after that..Just small twinges as things progressed and school became an everyday thing...
> Now my baby teaches 4th. grade and has two babies of her own..My Ethan and Olivia It will get easier Dina as you watch how he grows and changes.. Just make sure to give him a big hug coming and going...
> kades


Very good advice!

Barbara


----------



## Dina

Oh it's so hard Kades.  I can't stop crying right now.  Just dropped him off and couldn't stop hugging and kissing him.  I made sure he was situated in the classroom before I left him.  I had to rush out, I might add, because I needed to drop off my daughter at school too.  As much as I tried to make her feel at ease (because she is starting middle school) she was shaking from nerves.  Justin was also starting high school.  Thank God for husbands as he took care of him today.  They're all in a new school, new surroundings and teachers.  I'm feeling all the anxiety and nerves for all of them.  Sigh!  I will be okay.  I just need a moment to take it all in.


----------



## Barbara L

Dina, I said a little prayer for you, and that the kids all have a great day (and year!) in school.

Barbara


----------



## texasgirl

Just hang on Dina, it will be okay. They are all in a new school, BUT, they have the same friends, right? That alone will help them.
I remember my youngest first day, oh lord, I can laugh now. I was ready to cry, but, guess what, HE's the one that cried. He wouldn't go in the room at all, lol. It took a good 45 minutes for him to settle down and watch what was going on. Once he calmed down and saw the others coloring and the teacher talking to them, he SLOWLY went in with her and looked back at me and waved. Man, by the time I left, I was just happy to get outta there, lol. He came home and was non stop chatter for the rest of the day telling me about his new friends and what they did that day. He was ready to go back, lol. That lasted about 1/2 the year, lol.


----------



## Barbara L

texasgirl said:


> ...He was ready to go back, lol. That lasted about 1/2 the year, lol.


Around Thanksgiving, Nancy said she had learned enough!  LOL  Fortunately she loved school (she was--still is--a social butterfly, needed to be with her friends) and she didn't become a kindergarten drop-out!

Barbara


----------



## kadesma

Dina said:


> Oh it's so hard Kades.  I can't stop crying right now.  Just dropped him off and couldn't stop hugging and kissing him.  I made sure he was situated in the classroom before I left him.  I had to rush out, I might add, because I needed to drop off my daughter at school too.  As much as I tried to make her feel at ease (because she is starting middle school) she was shaking from nerves.  Justin was also starting high school.  Thank God for husbands as he took care of him today.  They're all in a new school, new surroundings and teachers.  I'm feeling all the anxiety and nerves for all of them.  Sigh!  I will be okay.  I just need a moment to take it all in.


Before you know it, it will be time to go pick him up and then the others will come bursting in to  tell you about their day...Just wait mom, the smiles will come as soon as the babies come home...I know how you feel, I'm a little teary this morning because Cade was here last night and wanted to stay but couldn't and left crying..so do a few thing around the house and get ready for your babies to come home..Got any cookies and milk? 
kades


----------



## Dina

Thank you for your comfort Barb and Stacy.  I love you guys.  I'm better now.  Talked to Mom on the phone and she also said everything will be alright.  Hopefully, I will start getting some calls from the school to substitute and be closer to my little one.  I will let you all know how my kiddos did on their first day of school later.  I've got some errands to do and catch up on cleaning up the house.


----------



## LadyCook61

*Why is it...*

Every time hubby cooks his eggs, it stinks up the house and makes me nauseous but when I cook eggs , the house does not stink and I don't get nauseous ?   He likes his eggs sunny side up, when I cook eggs, it is usually scrambled, or an omelet.  He uses olive oil , I use butter.   Right now the house reeks .    It's not bad oil because I've use the oil in other cooking.


----------



## kitchenelf

It might be because no matter what he does you're going to have that reaction


----------



## LadyCook61

kitchenelf said:


> It might be because no matter what he does you're going to have that reaction


 
hmm I wonder.  It happens only when he cooks those eggs .  Why he is cooking now when he had eggs and potatoes for breakfast.  Not only that, he got the frying pan I threw out , said he didn't feel like looking under the cabinet for the other fry pan.


----------



## B'sgirl

Wow, ladycook, I could have written your post! lol!


----------



## kitchenelf




----------



## In the Kitchen

LadyCook61 said:


> hmm I wonder.  It happens only when he cooks those eggs .  Why he is cooking now when he had eggs and potatoes for breakfast.  Not only that, he got the frying pan I threw out , said he didn't feel like looking under the cabinet for the other fry pan.



here I go again! what kind of frying pan do you like best?  I have cast iron one that is starting to get VERY old and I want different one.  Tell me what you prefer and I will get it.  Not one with coating on it though.


----------



## Dina

kadesma said:


> Before you know it, it will be time to go pick him up and then the others will come bursting in to tell you about their day...Just wait mom, the smiles will come as soon as the babies come home...I know how you feel, I'm a little teary this morning because Cade was here last night and wanted to stay but couldn't and left crying..so do a few thing around the house and get ready for your babies to come home..Got any cookies and milk?
> kades


Christopher seemed a bit tired when I picked him up from school so he didn't talk too much. He did mention that he liked his kinder class and the teacher was nice. Later, he told my daughter that he wanted to cry when I left him there but he held back so he wouldn't be embarrassed. He fell asleep in the car during the time I was picking up my son from high school and daughter from middle school. Poor baby. It will take him some time to get used to the new schedule. The older kiddos loved their teachers and classes. My daughter seems the most excited about her classes ~ she's always loved school. No more nerves for them, I hope. I did have the cookies and milk ready for them and that made it all better.


----------



## kadesma

Dina said:


> Christopher seemed a bit tired when I picked him up from school so he didn't talk too much. He did mention that he liked his kinder class and the teacher was nice. Later, he told my daughter that he wanted to cry when I left him there but he held back so he wouldn't be embarrassed. He fell asleep in the car during the time I was picking up my son from high school and daughter from middle school. Poor baby. It will take him some time to get used to the new schedule. The older kiddos loved their teachers and classes. My daughter seems the most excited about her classes ~ she's always loved school. No more nerves for them, I hope. I did have the cookies and milk ready for them and that made it all better.


Poor baby he expended so much energy trying not to cry and then having to learn the do's and don'ts. give him a couple of days and he will get the hang of it and things will change...Then he will be a chatter box and not fall asleep because there will be so much to share..And kudo's to you for the milk and cookies, you are a great mom..Now relax , give yourself a hug  and smile ya got through the day..And so did the kids

kades


----------



## GhettoRacingKid

The smell is most likly coming from the egg white part being cooked.  I know when I heat up egg whites at work or over cook them at home they kidna stink.

Have him lover the heat to alittel bit higher then medium.  make the pan hot.  with the little bit of oil (i prefer butter) dump in the egg and if the top he is looking tocook he can cover it to cook the top part.


----------



## TATTRAT

kitchenelf said:


> It might be because no matter what he does you're going to have that reaction




I came in here to say that.


----------



## LadyCook61

*eggs again*

hubby is making his smelly eggs again..  I watched him trying to flip the eggs over and of course he missed and made a mess.  I never saw anyone flipping sunny side up eggs over in one flip , you know , flipping the pan ? 
He should stick to using a spatula.


----------



## Uncle Bob

Tell him to practice flipping using a slice of bread...it want make a mess.


----------



## JoeV

LadyCook61 said:


> hubby is making his smelly eggs again..  I watched him trying to flip the eggs over and of course he missed and made a mess.  I never saw anyone flipping sunny side up eggs over in one flip , you know , flipping the pan ?
> He should stick to using a spatula.



Being male I should probably keep my mouth shut....and I will!


----------



## suziquzie

So yesterday was open house for my son's 3rd grade class.
We had a short parent's meeting, and among topincs the teacher tells us that sometime during the year they will switch the kids from chairs to those big exercise balls.... like they are doing in some offices.... they tested it last year in a few classes and it went "great". 
Is this not asking for some kids (like mine that can't sit still... where'd he get that from???) to get into trouble? Just because the schools of this day and age seems to think it is thier job to get the overweight kids more exercise?????
Yes I am aware discipline is needed and he is disciplined PLENTY...... 

Then she goes on to tell us that teachers, due to funding for more personnell, are going to have to monitor playground and lunch themselves, rather than the helpers hired by the district..... leaving no "extra" time to stay behind with a kid needing catch up help. 
Excuse me?
Amid all these computers and wireless headsets she is speaking on,  exercise balls they've purchased, gizmos and gadjets galore..... they have no money in the school system for people? Wonder why? 
I'm sorry but I think I learned quite well with pencils and paper....
THis has me really upset. Can ya tell?
I could go on..... but I will be shutting up now.


----------



## Chef2337

crewsk said:


> Not all scorpions a poisonous. We have what's called wood scorpions around here. They are not real big & the sting feels like a bad bee sting. I've been stung before but it's always a shock!
> 
> I think I need to whole bottle!




I thought so too (poisonous scorpions)  until I was stung by one in Texas.  I felt fine until they told me " You should be okay, but if you start to feel sick, you need to go to the hospital"    Wouldn't you know it, as soon as they said that I started to feel sick!   

My Vent - House Buying - What a Headache!


----------



## Alix

suziquzie said:


> Amid all these computers and wireless headsets she is speaking on,  exercise balls they've purchased, gizmos and gadjets galore..... they have no money in the school system for people? Wonder why?
> I'm sorry but I think I learned quite well with pencils and paper....
> THis has me really upset. Can ya tell?
> I could go on..... but I will be shutting up now.



Oooooooooo! I'm steamed for you. (Can you tell I'm a teacher at my heart?) That is just completely ridiculous. OK, the ball thing is just STUPID! (Ask kitchenelf about my problems with the ball) and the lack of $ for people makes me want to scream. Its the same everywhere though, "stuff" is more important than people. *ranting and stomping off in a huff*


----------



## luvs

Alix said:


> Oooooooooo! I'm steamed for you. (Can you tell I'm a teacher at my heart?) That is just completely ridiculous. OK, the ball thing is just STUPID! (Ask kitchenelf about my problems with the ball) and the lack of $ for people makes me want to scream. Its the same everywhere though, "stuff" is more important than people. *ranting and stomping off in a huff*


 

wow. that's just silly, giving exercise equipment like that. why not just SAY 'play instead of learn'.

_if_ they really want to provide better desks, why not cheapo computer chairs fer kiddos.


----------



## Barbara L

suziquzie said:


> So yesterday was open house for my son's 3rd grade class.
> We had a short parent's meeting, and among topincs the teacher tells us that sometime during the year they will switch the kids from chairs to those big exercise balls.... like they are doing in some offices.... they tested it last year in a few classes and it went "great".
> Is this not asking for some kids (like mine that can't sit still... where'd he get that from???) to get into trouble? Just because the schools of this day and age seems to think it is thier job to get the overweight kids more exercise?????
> Yes I am aware discipline is needed and he is disciplined PLENTY......
> 
> Then she goes on to tell us that teachers, due to funding for more personnell, are going to have to monitor playground and lunch themselves, rather than the helpers hired by the district..... leaving no "extra" time to stay behind with a kid needing catch up help.
> Excuse me?
> Amid all these computers and wireless headsets she is speaking on, exercise balls they've purchased, gizmos and gadjets galore..... they have no money in the school system for people? Wonder why?
> I'm sorry but I think I learned quite well with pencils and paper....
> THis has me really upset. Can ya tell?
> I could go on..... but I will be shutting up now.


I know exactly how you feel.  

As far as time to work with kids who need individual help, it was almost non-existent in the school where I worked.  I was with my class pretty much from the moment they walked in the door to the moment they left.  The teachers were responsible (we did it by grade level) for creating a recess schedule.  Our kids only got one recess a day, and that was attached to lunch (about 15-20 minutes to eat and 20-25 for recess).  We ate with our kids, then the teachers on duty took the kids outside.  There was no time to do much more than go to the bathroom and make a few copies (if the copier wasn't broken down and someone else wasn't already using it.).  With six 4th grade teachers, I had duty every third week.  We had no paid assistants, and very rarely did any parent volunteers come in.  About the only time I could give anyone individual attention was while the class worked in groups or on individual seatwork, and even then I had to give the whole class a lot of my attention.  I did have about 40 minutes away from the kids when they went to "specials" (Art, Music, P.E., Library, Counseling--all of which they had one day a week), but we weren't supposed to pull kids out of those classes to work with them.  That was our planning period.  We also had grade-level meetings during that time.  It was so frustrating.  I could see what the kids needed, but I was so locked into how administration said things needed to be done.  They are experimenting with our kids.  When one experiment (like the balls in place of chairs, or worse yet, off-the-wall teaching methods) doesn't work, they move on to another.  (And I'm not saying anything new is automatically bad--some change is necessary).

I know all schools are not like the ones I have taught in, but many in my area are.  

Barbara


----------



## suziquzie

The main thing I don't understand is why all this "extra help" needs to be loaded on the teacher anyway! 
Is there a reason you can't send a kid home with a note saying "HEY! your kid needs a little extra help, could you take 15 min out of your 'busy day' to do YOUR OWN CHILD a favor?" 
I think too many people are assuming all teaching of thier 
children is up to the school, and can't grasp that ultimately THEY are thier child's #1 teacher!


----------



## Barbara L

Many of the parents in our area can't read well, or at all.  Way too many of them say that teaching is the school's job, and they refuse to do anything.  Many of the kids were never read to and don't know any of the typical nursery rhymes, etc.  It is really sad.  The parents (not all of course, but the ones I am talking about here) had no interest in school growing up, and they see school partly as an imposition and partly as a way to get the kids off of their hands for a few hours.  Many of them had their kids so young that they were either growing up with them, or the grandparents are raising the kids.  I repeat, it is very sad.

It would be nice if all parents and the school worked together for the best of the children.  

Barbara


----------



## suziquzie

I suppose you're right, there are whole bunches of parents that I can't even imagine...
and don't really want to! 
Boy I'm even sorrier I'm so far north of Iowa now.... that woulda been a fun lunch!


----------



## Barbara L

I have family in Minnesota.  Who knows--maybe someday!

Barbara


----------



## Fisher's Mom

I'd be freaked out about the "exercise balls as chairs" thing too, Suzie. It seems to me to be a disaster waiting to happen. Not only that, it seems all of the schools are looking for ways to circumvent breaks like recess and PE. IMO, it is not a good thing. Young children, especially boys, seem to learn better with frequent, shorter periods of concentrated study and regular breaks that allow for physical activity. Sadly, even elementary school children are allowed very few opportunities for physical activity during the school day since recess and PE have been shortened and even eliminated in many schools. Perhaps it's one of the reasons for the weight problems in younger children. I doubt putting them on balls in the classroom will be a fix. Probably just more work for the teacher trying regain order every time a child loses balance and rolls off or drops all their stuff or kicks another child's ball out from under them.


----------



## suziquzie

DH is going to call the school tomorrow and find out just why they think that's such a bright idea. He wasn't able to come with us, and when I told him about it he was NOT happy. Jacob is not a kid that sits still...... maybe thats why he's so skinny.... all the dinner table chair rocking.  
His school has gym class and recess.... is this their way of telling us next year they "can't afford" those classes?


----------



## Barbara L

Have they said why they are switching to the exercise balls?  It is my guess that they think it will keep the kids more alert.  Hard to fall asleep if you have to keep your balance on a ball.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Barbara


----------



## suziquzie

Yeah I think she said concentration..... yeah right.
Getting your kid to bed at 8 not 10 after 16 zillion errands helps them stay awake in class too.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Barbara L said:


> Many of the parents in our area can't read well, or at all.  Way too many of them say that teaching is the school's job, and they refuse to do anything.  Many of the kids were never read to and don't know any of the typical nursery rhymes, etc.  It is really sad.  The parents (not all of course, but the ones I am talking about here) had no interest in school growing up, and they see school partly as an imposition and partly as a way to get the kids off of their hands for a few hours.  Many of them had their kids so young that they were either growing up with them, or the grandparents are raising the kids.  I repeat, it is very sad.
> 
> It would be nice if all parents and the school worked together for the best of the children.
> 
> Barbara


You are so right, Barbara. I've met so many "functionally illiterate" young people! People who can read just enough to get by, but it's a struggle. Certainly there is no "reading for pleasure" for these people. So when they have children, they are unable (and/or unwilling) to read to them regularly, if at all. There are actually many young children who have _no books_ in their home! None at all! It's a wonder that teachers manage to teach whole classrooms of children who have never seen a book up close before entering school.


----------



## suziquzie

That is so foreign to me! 
I actually just straightened up the kids' books today.... what a mess....
But I can't imagine having less than a bazilllion kids books! 
Although I wished today we had a couple fewer.....


----------



## Fisher's Mom

I know - it's amazing to me, too! I can't imagine life without books.


----------



## Barbara L

Many of my 4th graders (and some of my 2nd graders before that) stayed up as late as 1:00 or 2:00 many nights.  Even the ones who went to bed earlier were up until 10:00.  

When I was a kid I had to be in bed at 8:00 on a school night, and even as a high school senior I had to be in bed by 9:30 on a school night.  I hated it, but I was rested for school.  (I make up for it now by going to bed at 5:30 a.m., but that's another story! lol).

Parents are too often not being parents.  Too many kids are raising themselves.

Barbara


----------



## Barbara L

suziquzie said:


> That is so foreign to me!
> I actually just straightened up the kids' books today.... what a mess....
> But I can't imagine having less than a bazilllion kids books!
> Although I wished today we had a couple fewer.....


I was raised with lots of books, and when we couldn't afford to buy them, I spent every Saturday (my choice) at the library.

Not only do many of the kids in our area not have books at home, their families don't subscribe to magazines or newspapers, and many don't have the basic "school supplies" that most kids have at home, such as crayons, glue, scissors, etc. Some have to bring their pencils home from school so that they can do their homework.

Barbara


----------



## suziquzie

Wow!
It must make you cringe having been a teacher...


----------



## Barbara L

It did. I allowed the kids to take books from the classroom library home to read (I bought many of them myself), and I let them take things like glue or crayons home if they needed to work on a project. I also often gave the kids things like 8-packs of colored pencils for Christmas. 

Barbara
P.S. I also gave a prize to everyone who showed me a library card the first month of school (it had to be their own), and I tried constantly to convince the other teachers that we should take a field trip to the library, but I was always shot down.


----------



## Lynd

Well it's a great idea, at least you tried


----------



## Barbara L

Thanks!  I would have just done it on my own with my class, but the school has a policy that the whole grade level has to go on a field trip.  

Barbara


----------



## Lynd

Did they tell you why you couldn't do it, anyway? I remember I went with my school very young and learnt about chameleons. I was amazed!  Although lately I've learnt they don't change colour to match their background... but that's off topic


----------



## Barbara L

They just kept saying that the kids could go on their own time.  I'm sure they knew as well as I did that most of them didn't.  Some of the kids wanted to go but no one took them.  I think the teachers just wanted to do more exciting trips.  Personally, that would have been exciting to me.

Barbara


----------



## Dina

Barbara L said:


> It did. I allowed the kids to take books from the classroom library home to read (I bought many of them myself), and I let them take things like glue or crayons home if they needed to work on a project. I also often gave the kids things like 8-packs of colored pencils for Christmas.
> 
> Barbara
> P.S. I also gave a prize to everyone who showed me a library card the first month of school (it had to be their own), and I tried constantly to convince the other teachers that we should take a field trip to the library, but I was always shot down.


You are too kind Barb. I admire your compassion.

Well today I finally got ahold of the lady I met at WalMart asking for help for her son. I couldn't offer her a job to clean my house but did offer her some of my kids' school supplies that they didn't use last year. I also offered her some of my son's used clothes. She told me she hadn't been able to get him anything school supplies yet and on top, her boy needs a band shirt. Argh! With our tight budget now-a-days, I couldn't offer her money to get the shirt. She was glad to hear from me though and we're going to meet on Monday so I could give her the hand-me-downs.


----------



## elaine l

Where I teach there is a large population of children from other countries with parents that do not speak English let alone read it.  School is not a priority to some/most.  It is used more as a daycare system.  Some students have huge gaps in their education due to language.  2nd grade reading level is not uncommon for a 6th grade student.  I work hard to teach, inspire and help them to develop of love of reading.  It is my job.  Sad but not all children have parents that support them in their studies.  One of the things that bugs me is when a teacher requires work done on a computer.  They have an easy answer which is to go to the public library.  Not a simple solution since many have parents that don't drive, they live in the public housing across town.  I see them shrink when the class is asked to raise their hand if they have a computer.  This happened this past week in one of their specials (wood shop)  and it broke my heart.  Their homework was to search the computer for models of wooden cars.  I will remain in school after hours to allow those who don't have one to use mine.  Our school system does not provide computers for students. I may just have to intervene and allow them to use magazine pictures. Hate to step on a co-worker's toes but sometimes they just don't get it.  Okay I just rambled on and on!  Sorry.


----------



## luvs

Dina said:


> You are too kind Barb. I admire your compassion.
> 
> Well today I finally got ahold of the lady I met at WalMart asking for help for her son. I couldn't offer her a job to clean my house but did offer her some of my kids' school supplies that they didn't use last year. I also offered her some of my son's used clothes. She told me she hadn't been able to get him anything school supplies yet and on top, her boy needs a band shirt. Argh! With our tight budget now-a-days, I couldn't offer her money to get the shirt. She was glad to hear from me though and we're going to meet on Monday so I could give her the hand-me-downs.


 
that's so kind of you, dina!!


----------



## Dina

elaine l said:


> Where I teach there is a large population of children from other countries with parents that do not speak English let alone read it. School is not a priority to some/most. It is used more as a daycare system. Some students have huge gaps in their education due to language. 2nd grade reading level is not uncommon for a 6th grade student. I work hard to teach, inspire and help them to develop of love of reading. It is my job. Sad but not all children have parents that support them in their studies. One of the things that bugs me is when a teacher requires work done on a computer. They have an easy answer which is to go to the public library. Not a simple solution since many have parents that don't drive, they live in the public housing across town. I see them shrink when the class is asked to raise their hand if they have a computer. This happened this past week in one of their specials (wood shop) and it broke my heart. Their homework was to search the computer for models of wooden cars. I will remain in school after hours to allow those who don't have one to use mine. Our school system does not provide computers for students. I may just have to intervene and allow them to use magazine pictures. Hate to step on a co-worker's toes but sometimes they just don't get it. Okay I just rambled on and on! Sorry.


Elaine,
Does your school have some sort of fundraisers to purchase stuff for the students? I know our school districts do a lot of those in order to get equipment for the students.


----------



## LPBeier

Wow, I have been out of touch on this thread for awhile.  Barb, Dina and Elaine, I admire all of you for what you are doing to help the students.  

My husband had his own computer sales/repair business for many years and would collect older computers from his clients who bought new ones from him.  Then he would fix up the old ones and give them to families who needed them but couldn't afford one.  We also used to let our neighbour's kids do their homework on one of ours (we also had an internet hosting business in our home and had an office with four computer stations in it).

Dina, I know you want to help this woman more than you can, but know that no matter how little it seems you can do, it is a lot more than others would and more than she had.  I am sure she is very greatful for any help.

As for library tours, I remember being taken on a field trip to the big library in Vancouver (we lived in a small suburb) and thinking it was an amazing place.  Of course that was many eons ago.  We just had a new high school built in our neighbourhood that doesn't even have a library, only a computer room where students can do their homework but most of the kids admit they use it more to chat online and it goes unnoticed.


----------



## LPBeier

Hmm, I guess it is good news that this thread has been idle for a few days.  Unfortunately I have to break that tonight.  I just got back from the doctor....via a stop at the IV department of the hospital where I will be visiting every day at 7 am and 7 pm for the next 7 to 10 days.  It seems I have a staff infection in my surgery site and they are worried that it may travel to the prosthetic joint which could cause rejection.  We are not in panic mode yet because I have been on heavy anti-biotics for the past 7 days, but this means a lot of travelling and also sets back my physio and rehab back quite a bit.  I was doing so well and all of a sudden started getting chills, fevers, throwing up and severe pain.  I know it will all work out but I guess because of the way I am feeling I am taking it harder than normal.  I just wanted this whole process to go so smoothly.


----------



## Dina

Oh Laurie,
My prayers go out to you.  I hope you get rid of the infection and begin feeling better soon.


----------



## babetoo

LPBeier said:


> Hmm, I guess it is good news that this thread has been idle for a few days.  Unfortunately I have to break that tonight.  I just got back from the doctor....via a stop at the IV department of the hospital where I will be visiting every day at 7 am and 7 pm for the next 7 to 10 days.  It seems I have a staff infection in my surgery site and they are worried that it may travel to the prosthetic joint which could cause rejection.  We are not in panic mode yet because I have been on heavy anti-biotics for the past 7 days, but this means a lot of travelling and also sets back my physio and rehab back quite a bit.  I was doing so well and all of a sudden started getting chills, fevers, throwing up and severe pain.  I know it will all work out but I guess because of the way I am feeling I am taking it harder than normal.  I just wanted this whole process to go so smoothly.


 
LP i am so sorry to hear this. keep your chin up and hope along with me, that you recover completely in a short amount of time.                                                                                     babe


----------



## kadesma

Oh Laurie,
not something else to deal with...I'm sorry my friend..Wish I could be there to help..Please rest as much as you can and let those anti biotics do their job.
kades


----------



## suziquzie

Laurie when will this all finally end for you!?!
I'm so sorry. 
Not to try to lighten you up too much, but you know me, I gotta.....
If you kicked your own knee would it learn to behave?
Just a thought.


----------



## Barbara L

I'm praying for you too Laurie.  It stinks that you have to go through this.  

Barbara


----------



## Bilby

Sorry to hear that you have golden staph Laurie.  I have had that two or three times and it isn't pleasant.  They have always hospitalised me which I think makes it even more unpleasant! I am sure that they have caught it in time and the AB's will knock it on its head.  Don't make yourself too warm at home as it just prolongs it.  Fans, sheets, cool wet flannels are the go.  (There are never enough blankets to make you warm!) It should break your fever quicker - well that was the thinking last time I had it.  As Babe said, keep your chin up.  We are behind you.


----------



## miniman

Right there with you Laurie. God's blessing for a very quick reecovery.


----------



## expatgirl

whoopsie......stahp aureus..........not a great thing to have.......please take good care of yourself and go to the doctors if it gets out of hand..........this is a mighty bug indeed.........I will be keeping you in my thoughts, Laurie


----------



## texasgirl

Laurie, I hope you get better soon!! Jeez, you've been through enough already!!


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks Everyone.  I really appreciate all your support and prayers.  I am off for my second round of antibiotic.  I had another mostly sleepless night....I thought those were over with!  Anyways, hopefully I can nap when I get home.


----------



## pdswife

Laurie Laurie Laurie 
what are we going to do with you?  I think you need a spanking!!!!

Get better quickly!!!!


----------



## pot clanger

*Awwww... Laurie!*

Laurie.... wow.   I had no idea you've been through so much... (I have been "away)

I send you heartfelt prayers for a quick recovery...  I have never had complications such as those that you speak of, but I do have a tip for you, if you're interested, since you're taking so many antibiotics...

It's called "*Bio-K*" and it helps to regulate intestinal functions.   It has 50 *BILLION* fresh, live active cultures (L.acidophilus & L.casei), which, since you're on heavy doses of antibiotics, you'll definitely be needing to keep the healthy bacteria in good numbers and your body in balance.  It comes in a refrigerated form, in a little bottle, and you drink it.  Their number is 1-800-593-2465, if you want to locate a distributor near you.  Ask your MD about it or check their website:   Bio-K Plus - Probiotic - Beneficial bacteria - Regulates intestinal functions

I don't mean to offer unsolicited advice - I just want you to GET BETTER SOON, and I know from personal experience that this stuff works...

Thinking of you... and sending good wishes,

 Sara


----------



## LPBeier

pdswife said:


> Laurie Laurie Laurie
> what are we going to do with you? I think you need a spanking!!!!
> 
> Get better quickly!!!!


 
Well, at least you are a little more humane that your co-hort Suzi who wanted to kick my bad leg!  

I really appreciate everyone's wishes.  Yes, I agree, I think I have had enough and it is about time I just feel better!


----------



## pdswife

Well,  you know what NIKE says  "JUST DO IT"


----------



## jpmcgrew

Barbara L said:


> I was raised with lots of books, and when we couldn't afford to buy them, I spent every Saturday (my choice) at the library.
> 
> Not only do many of the kids in our area not have books at home, their families don't subscribe to magazines or newspapers, and many don't have the basic "school supplies" that most kids have at home, such as crayons, glue, scissors, etc. Some have to bring their pencils home from school so that they can do their homework.
> 
> Barbara


 
I grew up with a lot of books we lived a block away from the Library and read many books as in those days we did not have a million tv channels or internet etc. In those days I read all the Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, Wizard of Oz series etc plus many, many more I loved reading as that was really all we had. On weekends I would stay up till 2 PM just reading because I just could not put the book down.


----------



## jpmcgrew

LPBeier said:


> Thanks Everyone. I really appreciate all your support and prayers. I am off for my second round of antibiotic. I had another mostly sleepless night....I thought those were over with! Anyways, hopefully I can nap when I get home.


 
 Get this if you can Emergen-C and the 
Zand Insure Herbal T Inc. 2Oz - SMARTbomb.com Zand Insure Herbal these two are incredible at building up your immunity. Dh and I take have taken the vitamin c every day for years and just do not get sick we take the second one when a virus is running around for an extra boost. Trust me it's good stuff. Yogurt with live acidophilus culture is also good as it will replace the good bacteria in your system that the antibiotics have killed in your system. Try it, you will be surprised how well it works


----------



## suziquzie

LPBeier said:


> Well, at least you are a little more humane that your co-hort Suzi who wanted to kick my bad leg!
> 
> I really appreciate everyone's wishes. Yes, I agree, I think I have had enough and it is about time I just feel better!


 

AHEM!!! 
I do believe I suggested you kick your OWN knee....
I would not be the kicker in this situation!!! 
Sheesh what do you think of me, kickin' a woman when she's down???


----------



## Barbara L

suziquzie said:


> ...Sheesh what do you think of me, kickin' a woman when she's down???


Hey, that's the best time.  She couldn't chase you! 

Just kidding of course!

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

hahahaha!  y'all are too much.........


----------



## miniman

jpmcgrew said:


> I grew up with a lot of books we lived a block away from the Library and read many books as in those days we did not have a million tv channels or internet etc. In those days I read all the Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, Wizard of Oz series etc plus many, many more I loved reading as that was really all we had. On weekends I would stay up till 2 PM just reading because I just could not put the book down.


 

Hardy boys - boy does that take me back - I had forgotten about them.


----------



## expatgirl

me, too,........read all of Louisa May Alcott's books, Little Women, Little Men, Eight Cousins, Rose in Bloom, and as I got older anything and everything.........my husband is the same way as well as our daughter.......she started with the books and classics that I had on hand then moved way ahead of me........sorry I just don't relax with a dead philosopher........don't care what he had to say........but it sure helped her in debate to be well-read.....one of the best gifts that I ever bought her was a book of famous quotations.....she uses it all the time......


----------



## texasgirl

Oldest son has now been fired, so, I have two guys, no vehicle and no job!!!!!!
I need a drink!!


----------



## kadesma

texasgirl said:


> Oldest son has now been fired, so, I have two guys, no vehicle and no job!!!!!!
> I need a drink!!


Stacy, I thought you had a new job? What the heck happened?Heavens girl, I'm so sorry..You have prayers and good thoughts and what the heck was the kid doing to get fired...? Your drink of choice is?
kades


----------



## LPBeier

Dear Stacy, my heart goes out to you.  I can't offer you a drink but will sure keep you in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## LPBeier

Good news - my blood levels show that the infection inside the leg is minimal.  Bad news - doctor wants IV treatment to continue until Monday morning when he will do all the tests again and is still considering operating to make sure the joint site is clear.  This means a weekend of getting up at 6 to be at the hospital by 7 and then making the trip again 12 hours later.  Both DH and I are running on adrenaline as it is.  The pain is still intense and they have had to move my IV site so between that and all the blood tests my arms are feeling like pin cushions.  My physio therapy has been put back another week and I am still not able to keep much food down.

If I had realized I would be going through all this I think I would have kept the old knee.   But I know that is really just the frustration talking and it will all be better soon.  It is just hard to be making so much progress only to have it backslide.


----------



## texasgirl

kadesma said:


> Stacy, I thought you had a new job? What the heck happened?Heavens girl, I'm so sorry..You have prayers and good thoughts and what the heck was the kid doing to get fired...? Your drink of choice is?
> kades


I'm sorry, I said it wrong, I'm not without the job, the brats are. And, no, I haven't found one yet. Thanks cj, I think  will take a melon colada!!


----------



## Bilby

Sorry about your boys problems Stacy as I know they become your problems - even more so than the boys'!


----------



## Bilby

Laurie, I know the regime is tough but if you get good results, the doc may not open you up again which would be good.

Re the acidopholous comments, I have been taking the largest dose of acidopholous (in a capsule) that I can get over here for years as all the treatments and drugs I have been on since getting kidney failure have played havoc with my guts.  I think they are good but when you are on the really strong AB's, nothing really works.


----------



## jpmcgrew

miniman said:


> Hardy boys - boy does that take me back - I had forgotten about them.


 
 There also was the Bobbsy Twins (sp?) I also read all the classics like Arabian Nights and many more I do not even remember. When I was even younger I read all the Hans Christian Anderson and Grimm's Brothers. I remember when I was about nine years old in Germany and finding my Christmas presents I read every book in secret that were my gifts. I had to act very surprised Xmas day when I got them.


----------



## kadesma

LPBeier said:


> Good news - my blood levels show that the infection inside the leg is minimal.  Bad news - doctor wants IV treatment to continue until Monday morning when he will do all the tests again and is still considering operating to make sure the joint site is clear.  This means a weekend of getting up at 6 to be at the hospital by 7 and then making the trip again 12 hours later.  Both DH and I are running on adrenaline as it is.  The pain is still intense and they have had to move my IV site so between that and all the blood tests my arms are feeling like pin cushions.  My physio therapy has been put back another week and I am still not able to keep much food down.
> 
> If I had realized I would be going through all this I think I would have kept the old knee.   But I know that is really just the frustration talking and it will all be better soon.  It is just hard to be making so much progress only to have it backslide.


You're going to be fine..Infections are a pain in the keester,but they do go away.. And the pain and  trouble you qre having now is nothing to what it was before..put up with it like I'm doing with the center nurses bless their dark hearts you are healing.I'm saying a little prayer that you heal faster and very soon..Rest easy...
kades


----------



## Bilby

kadesma said:


> ...put up with it like I'm doing with the center nurses bless their dark hearts ...


All the memories came flooding back with that statement!  One nurse was so painful that I just started to avoid her at all costs. She ended up saying to my doctor that I was likely to self-harm!!! What a load of....!!!  I ended up with a different nurse after that!  And before her there were the haemo nurses who thought that making you cramp or pass out was an ideal way to teach you not to drink! That only worked as long as it took me to work out how to stop the machine!!  Some think that because your kidneys don't work your brain has ceased to function too.  They needed to have another anatomy lecture or two methinks!! Hang in there Kadesma. There are lots of good ones out there.


----------



## kadesma

Bilby said:


> All the memories came flooding back with that statement!  One nurse was so painful that I just started to avoid her at all costs. She ended up saying to my doctor that I was likely to self-harm!!! What a load of....!!!  I ended up with a different nurse after that!  And before her there were the haemo nurses who thought that making you cramp or pass out was an ideal way to teach you not to drink! That only worked as long as it took me to work out how to stop the machine!!  Some think that because your kidneys don't work your brain has ceased to function too.  They needed to have another anatomy lecture or two methinks!! Hang in there Kadesma. There are lots of good ones out there.


Thanks Bilby, the hemo nurses I got were all so nice and caring they would go out of their way for us..Of course my bringing cookies once a week helped j/k they were all wonderful..It's the peritonel nurses that make me see red..There is one who will not look at me, but at my DH as if he's my keeper and I'm very close to saying something...They have 
been having a lot of perotonitis and of course ol dummy her has had 3 episodes of contamination soooo all that is going on is my fault..right I gave everyone peritonitis,sunuck into their homes at night i did and spread it around... Dh kind of let her have it saying do you suppose that some got it HERE, she turned pale and next thing I know, I get to show them I know how to connect and disconect.. punishment for being so smarty..I did let them know that the little trained monkey only gives one show..after that go chase yourself so we shall see what comes next..
kades


----------



## Bilby

I got peritonitis a few months after starting and I know I got it from the hospital. Every infection relating to the kidneys (except of course the start of the KF) I got from the hospital or clinic.

The one who thought I was a self-harmer was a PD nurse.  And then they missed a huge odema on my chest - and I was seeing them every week at that stage!!

I saw a dermatologist once who refused to look at me or talk to me.  He had a junior doctor in the room with him and would only address him.  The junior had to speak to me!  Such arrogance!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

OMG, I'm getting worked up just reading ya'll's posts and remembering similar experiences. CJ and Penny, my daughter got peritonitis a couple of times. Once was chemical when they changed her dialysate concentration and twice were right after a hospital stay. The doc told me they were definitely from the hospital because they were gram negative. He used to tell us that the last place a dialysis patient should be is in the hospital! (Jokingly of course, because you can't really avoid it completely with a chronic disease.)

Hospital infections like what you got, Laurie, are so common it's frightening. My daughter got one having a shunt revision and almost lost her leg as a result. (Not that they do it on purpose, of course.)

And the dematologist who wouldn't speak to you, Penny, reminded me of a geneticist we saw with one of our kids. It was exactly the same deal. He had a teaching Fellow with him and he would speak to her and then she would turn to me and repeat it all. We were in the same room!!!! I was just stunned at first - I almost thought it was some kind of joke. Finally I asked him directly if he was under the impression that I was a non-English speaker. His face turned red but all he said was "Do you have any questions?" and walked out. It was bizarre! 

Anyway, I'm so sorry to hear about the rough times my friends are having here and I'm thinking of all of you and visualizing perfect and abundant health for each of you.


----------



## babetoo

*falling from grace.*

would you believe i fell over a curb yesterday?  came out of the mall and went down trying to step down from curb. 

not much damage, just scraped my knees. they didn't even bleed. but boy!did i hurt today. asphalt is really hard. 

so today i went to pharmacy and bought a cane. have been having problems with my knees for quite a while. not sure exactly what caused me to fall. but it did scare me. 

guess i am venting my frustration of growing old. 

bought a really pretty bright red cane  might as well be sharp looking lol


babe


----------



## expatgirl

texasgirl said:


> Oldest son has now been fired, so, I have two guys, no vehicle and no job!!!!!!
> I need a drink!!


Oh, Stacy.........I'm so sorry to hear........all I can say is to hang in there......make sure that your sons help you out at home in the meantime.....I'm sure that they are already and you don't have to tell them.......many people are losing their jobs now.........it's the economy.......hopefully they'll find something soon.......my son worked at very low-paying jobs for years before he got his current policeman's job..........at least it pays better than what he'd been getting and there is insurance....things will turn around......I promise you.......


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks, ladies.  I apologize that I was coming across like a whining child.  I was just so sick (from throwing up, yeast infections and pain) and sick of being sick.  But I had a much better sleep and some gravol and today is another day.  I know this all will be behind me soon and am stronger because of my own faith and because of friends like you.

Oh, my IV nurse last night allowed me to just let it all out and wouldn't let me leave until I had a good cry and was feeling better.  Thanks for the cookie idea Kades, I think I need to make a big batch for them!


----------



## In the Kitchen

babetoo said:


> would you believe i fell over a curb yesterday?  came out of the mall and went down trying to step down from curb.
> 
> not much damage, just scraped my knees. they didn't even bleed. but boy!did i hurt today. asphalt is really hard.
> 
> so today i went to pharmacy and bought a cane. have been having problems with my knees for quite a while. not sure exactly what caused me to fall. but it did scare me.
> 
> guess i am venting my frustration of growing old.
> 
> bought a really pretty bright red cane  might as well be sharp looking lol
> 
> 
> babe



If we are lucky, we will all get old but have to accept the limitations that come with it.  I relate to this exact feeling.  Art Linkletter, who will is 95 years of age, always said 'old age is not for sissies'.  So my curiousity is why does everybody show resentment when they see elderly people?  We have to struggle to be as independent as we can.  I can tell that this fall really scared you.  Did you think about knee braces?  It may help.  Also taking some of the joint supplements may help too.  Many people I talk to do have knee replacements.  Getting to be quite common as well as hip replacements.  babe, this may be just a warning to slow down.  For some reason, there are times when I sort of stumble too.  I don't know if I am not picking up my feet the way I should or what.  One thing I know, is I have to keep moving regardless of what I look like.  Don't go up the stairs as quickly as I'd like to.  

Sorry I don't mean to make this a thread about age.  But it is life, right?  Good thing you aren't worried about using cane.  You won't be sorry.


----------



## LPBeier

babetoo said:


> would you believe i fell over a curb yesterday? came out of the mall and went down trying to step down from curb.
> 
> not much damage, just scraped my knees. they didn't even bleed. but boy!did i hurt today. asphalt is really hard.
> 
> so today i went to pharmacy and bought a cane. have been having problems with my knees for quite a while. not sure exactly what caused me to fall. but it did scare me.
> 
> guess i am venting my frustration of growing old.
> 
> bought a really pretty bright red cane might as well be sharp looking lol
> 
> 
> babe


 
Babe, so sorry to here about your fall.  Take it easy because even though your knees weren't scraped doesn't mean there isn't damage.  I am so glad you bought a cane......and a nice colourful one!  I have a black one and told DH that if I didn't get the surgery soon I was going to buy this one I saw with irridescent butterflies all over it.  Looks like I won't need it now, but if I ever do again you can bet I will go in style as well.

Take good care my friend, I (and others here) worry about you....that's our job!!!!


----------



## kadesma

babetoo said:


> would you believe i fell over a curb yesterday?  came out of the mall and went down trying to step down from curb.
> 
> not much damage, just scraped my knees. they didn't even bleed. but boy!did i hurt today. asphalt is really hard.
> 
> so today i went to pharmacy and bought a cane. have been having problems with my knees for quite a while. not sure exactly what caused me to fall. but it did scare me.
> 
> guess i am venting my frustration of growing old.
> 
> bought a really pretty bright red cane  might as well be sharp looking lol
> 
> 
> babe


OH phooey, your not old..You had an accident..I think the red cane is wonderful.I love your sense of humor...I haven't fallen at the mall but let me tell you anything is possible now because having dialysis sometimes causes bone problems..So I have to be careful when I step down as my ankle or instep will feel as if i have a broken bone and it hurts like the dickens and almost makes me fall..So you step out with your new fancy cane and you will turn heads.
kadesma


----------



## expatgirl

LPBeier said:


> Thanks, ladies.  I apologize that I was coming across like a whining child.  I was just so sick (from throwing up, yeast infections and pain) and sick of being sick.  But I had a much better sleep and some gravol and today is another day.  I know this all will be behind me soon and am stronger because of my own faith and because of friends like you.
> 
> Oh, my IV nurse last night allowed me to just let it all out and wouldn't let me leave until I had a good cry and was feeling better.  Thanks for the cookie idea Kades, I think I need to make a big batch for them!



Hey, if anyone has the right to sound like a whining child it's you.........whine away.......you'll feel better........and cry all you want......my shoulder and others are always 

 available.......always..........hang in there, GF....this must be a situation that you're really tired of........I hear it in your voice..........you must really be a strong person..........I know so......


----------



## LadyCook61

*Retirement*

To my hubby it means sitting around doing nothing at all.  To me , it means doing projects that need doing around and in the house , when he couldn't do it when he was working. It's not even luxury projects, it is repairing things that need repair, moving boxes out of rooms to the cellar, repainting bathroom ceiling which looks horrible with watermarks, replacing decks , pruning bushes and trees , replacing a door that is rotted away. If I could do the jobs I would do it myself. He is too cheap to call a handyman.


----------



## expatgirl

Call the repairman in anyways, LC.........you can't let your house fall down around your ears........my hubby used to have a problem with that, too, but he has such a busy job he no longer protests when I call help in........he literally does not have the time to repair anything.....if hubby can't do it and he won't just call someone in...........


----------



## Bilby

Hey Babe, if it makes you feel any better, I am forever walking into things or tripping over my own feet. I am a walking band-aid often. Age has nothing to do with it. I have been accident prone since I was a kid.  I have sensory nerve damage to my feet cos of my anti-rejection drugs so my feet are forever getting injured. The podiatrist looks at me and asks me what happened to this toe or that foot, etc and I just shrug my shoulders cos I don't have a clue. These things happen to the best of us. Don't let it shake your confidence tough if you can help it. It can be very hard to get the confidence back again.

Laurie, never even thought for a moment that you were whining!  Classic vent in my opinion!

Lady Cook, I agree with Expatgirl. Get someone in. It might inspire him to do something. Either way, you get your house repaired.

Fisher's Mom, You get it well!!!


----------



## In the Kitchen

expatgirl said:


> Call the repairman in anyways, LC.........you can't let your house fall down around your ears........my hubby used to have a problem with that, too, but he has such a busy job he no longer protests when I call help in........he literally does not have the time to repair anything.....if hubby can't do it and he won't just call someone in...........



I was married to someone like this for 25 years.  He wanted a home but didn't want to maintain it.  After having a brother who built his own home from foundation, it was hard for me to accept his indifference.  He was physically able but remained sedentary.  If anything got done around this house, I had to do it.  From taking up carpeting in entire house while he stayed in the basement.  I did many things with help from my brother and I am first to admit does not look like professional but did the job.  This is why I don't understand how people marry each other.  Only know my dad abusive same way my husband was.  I just think you cannot change person unless they want to change.  I can see that in the family, some will see work and do it; others walk by it.  

I hope I am in the right column.  This gets me when two people can't seem to understand why the other one does what they do?  Like all the counselors told me (5 to be exact) if he doesn't want to come to counseling couldn't do anything with only me.  I just don't know how my mother did it.  always said she was blessed with her kids.  All of us, and we were far from perfect.  

My heart goes out to you Ladycook get someone before it gets too much for you.  Don't let this yahoo get by with his laziness.  That is all it is, lazy.  If he has to pay for it, will make a difference.  money always changes things.
Sorry to be so crude but this always always hits nerve with me.  Wrong nerve.  I am hoping for understanding of why and how this happens?


----------



## babetoo

LPBeier said:


> Babe, so sorry to here about your fall. Take it easy because even though your knees weren't scraped doesn't mean there isn't damage. I am so glad you bought a cane......and a nice colourful one! I have a black one and told DH that if I didn't get the surgery soon I was going to buy this one I saw with irridescent butterflies all over it. Looks like I won't need it now, but if I ever do again you can bet I will go in style as well.
> 
> Take good care my friend, I (and others here) worry about you....that's our job!!!!


 
saw a cool one on line, it had many colors of balloons on it. would sure like to have it.

babe


----------



## Barbara L

I hope everyone is soon on the mend.

Babe, James bought a red cane with a dragon head on it (with a marble in its mouth, lol) just in case.  He used it a few times when his knee was acting up.  I ended up having to use it when my cellulitis was so bad.  It's something most people don't think of until they need one, but it is a good idea to have one around!

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

my mother-in-law inherited several beautiful canes from various relatives that she looked after..........she gave me a very nice shelaleigh (spelling????) an Irish cane made from bone because of my Irish roots.......I have it hanging on the wall at home

Another vent:  DH checked our statements on Saturday  and found that his Visa card (he's the only who has one as he uses it for business) had $400 that had been charged to it from a gas station in Brooklyn.  The farthest north in the continental USA that he's been to in the last 5 years is Houston, TX.......thank goodness for Skype 'cause as soon as he discovered it he called their 24 hour hotline and reported it.......I think the agent called him "Sir" 50 times.......he has had this same account for 34 years and this is the first time ever that we've had any problems with credit card fraud......and he charges a lot of business to it........thankfully he's a fanatic about checking his statements.........even the agent thanked him for being a long-time customer and would get right on it..........you, know, you really feel violated but I know that it's happening everywhere


----------



## luvs

jake's not here yet & i'm starving & i've cramps, too. (poor jake)
i so understand guys nite, cause i like nites out with my buddies, too, at least he could call so i could cook fer myself.


----------



## expatgirl

cook enough for 2, luvs, and keep his half warm..........either that or have some fruit......I always keep dried apricots on hand (good with a cup of hot tea as well as very nutritious) as I never know when DH is going to be home during budget time........this last week averaged at about 8:30pm......now he's in the UK on business for the next week.........


----------



## luvs

i figure i'll eat cereal & fruit. he didn't answer his phone. it's on.....
i'm craving a certain kind of yogurt & he's not here. maybe me & my pepper spray will go to get it ourselves.

i haerd from him... we're eating cereal.


----------



## LadyCook61

Barbara L said:


> I hope everyone is soon on the mend.
> 
> Babe, James bought a red cane with a dragon head on it (with a marble in its mouth, lol) just in case. He used it a few times when his knee was acting up. I ended up having to use it when my cellulitis was so bad. It's something most people don't think of until they need one, but it is a good idea to have one around!
> 
> Barbara


 
We inherited a collection of canes and walking sticks from hubby's mother.  The collection sat in her house for years, collecting dust and soot from the fireplace.  I had to clean it all to see what was on the canes and sticks.  One cane I used for when my knee got so bad I couldn't walk, it is a plain oak cane, meaning no special engravings or anything on it.


----------



## Barbara L

LadyCook61 said:


> ...One cane I used for when my knee got so bad I couldn't walk, it is a plain oak cane, meaning no special engravings or anything on it.


It just goes to prove that sometimes the most practical isn't the prettiest!

Barbara


----------



## LadyCook61

Barbara L said:


> It just goes to prove that sometimes the most practical isn't the prettiest!
> 
> Barbara


 
True, it's not totally ugly  I like Oak wood .  Hubby had to cut it down a little being I'm 5'1"  It has the ugliest rubber bottom .


----------



## Barbara L

I love oak.  My sister carves walking sticks.  They aren't decorated (painted, etc.) but are beautiful in their curves and lines.  Sometimes adding decoration to things is too much (like a little curio cabinet James got me--he thought I might want to paint decorations on it, but it is perfect the way it is).

As far as the rubber thing--I guess it is best to be practical, but maybe you could find a replacement that matches the color or something.

Barbara


----------



## Dina

My walking partner has gone NUTS!!!  She's a size 0, has 13% of body fat and she feels she needs to lose MORE weight.  I told her we were burning about 500 calories in our morning walks of 1.5 hours and she said it wasn't enough.  She may very well be on an 800 calorie diet.  Argh!  She's weighing herself 6 times daily and I find it crazy, almost mental.  I want to help her and try to explain how our bodies work (especially at 40) but she doesn't seem to understand.  It must be terrible to live obsessed that way.


----------



## expatgirl

Dina said:


> My walking partner has gone NUTS!!!  She's a size 0, has 13% of body fat and she feels she needs to lose MORE weight.  I told her we were burning about 500 calories in our morning walks of 1.5 hours and she said it wasn't enough.  She may very well be on an 800 calorie diet.  Argh!  She's weighing herself 6 times daily and I find it crazy, almost mental.  I want to help her and try to explain how our bodies work (especially at 40) but she doesn't seem to understand.  It must be terrible to live obsessed that way.



Well, I'm really sorry to hear that about your walking partner.........are you sure she's not anorexic or bulimic???---not that there's much you can do about that if you're only a walking companion but you can be a listening ear....if you continue to walk with her  keep an eye on her and be sure that you have your cell phone with you at all times......sorry to hear that she feels repulsed by her own body.......and you're right.......it's an obsession that just takes over their whole lives and way of thinking......maybe she'll confide in you.........good luck


----------



## kadesma

Dina said:


> My walking partner has gone NUTS!!!  She's a size 0, has 13% of body fat and she feels she needs to lose MORE weight.  I told her we were burning about 500 calories in our morning walks of 1.5 hours and she said it wasn't enough.  She may very well be on an 800 calorie diet.  Argh!  She's weighing herself 6 times daily and I find it crazy, almost mental.  I want to help her and try to explain how our bodies work (especially at 40) but she doesn't seem to understand.  It must be terrible to live obsessed that way.


Dina,
do keep an eye open..There isn't anything you can do believe me..I had medicine induced anorexia and there was nothing anyone could do...I'd been so unhappy trying to lose weight that when this med completely took away my appetite I was thrilled,shopping became so much fun as   I at first watched the weight just melt away...I ended up weighing 90 lbs and to this day cannot remember my daughters wedding..I have to watch the video...The point is you can't help yourself and resent anyone who tries to help you..The med was taken off the market and I was put on something else for my diabetes, but it took me years to get my weight up to 110 but now I am aware of things thank the lord..JUst stand by your friend,and pray a lot..
kades


----------



## Dina

Yes Expat and Kades.  I will keep a lookout for her.  I got really worried when she told me she'd gone to a surgeon to see if she could have liposuction.  My mouth dropped!  The doctor, of course, told her she had no fat to take out.  When she mentions what a beautiful figure her 14 year old daughter has, I reiterate how attractive muscle looks on a woman (hoping she will eat a bit more to build lean muscle).  She insists that she's a cup C but it looks more like an A to me, honestly.  The other worry is that she's got her daugther all wrapped up on this diet, count-every-single calorie craziness.

When I dropped to 146 pounds (I'm 5'6" tall) to a size 8, she thought I looked great.  When I mentioned that I was a size 8, she was mortified!  She could not believe that a person can look good in a size 8.  Geez!   I'm really worried about her.


----------



## luvs

if you want to, message me. your buddy has an eating or exercise problem, from my view. anorexia is very, very stubborn. eventually maybe she'll fall into treatment. ((((((hugs)))))))


ugh, i sound so negative. i mean, they aren't easy to fix, eating disorders. i understand your concern.


----------



## expatgirl

Glad that you're going to be on the lookout, Dina...........liposuction?  OMG!  My niece admitted to me about 5 years ago that she had been bulimic (actually I'm not sure that she's really over it as she never received therapy but she does look fine and had a healthy pregnancy) but she confided in me that she feared that she would end up looking like her parents and brother (who could stand to lose about 40 lbs each) and she went into the health/exercise field (which is what many anorexics/bulimics do or ballet or gymnastics, etc)........I read somewhere and I'm NOT quoting it as gospel by any means as there a many contributory factors involved but it sure makes sense in my niece's case---that is,  some come from very controlling people that they look up to.......my sister a control freak?  Nah............well, that's another off thread topic to discuss.........anyway, they feel like that is one area that they are in control of.......their bodies........well, you sound like a great friend to be so concerned.....I'll walk with you   Hope that she does better...........


----------



## luvs

healthy pregnancies mean nothing , & most bulimicics 'er either normal or overweight, while few 'er severely underweight. 
my buddy got pregnant twice & at under 90 pounds with her new baby barely over 100 with her deliveries.


----------



## expatgirl

luvs, this is why I'm still concerned about my niece........as gently as I could I probed her for details and she admitted that she never has gotten counseling........the only reason her mother (my "sister") found out was because she discovered her in the act.........of course Miss Control Freak gave her the riot act but didn't seek counseling for her.......yep, a real piece of work and probably in denial.......and gave her more of a reason.......


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Shocked*

Just ret urned to class after 3 months and gal there has lost 120lbs. since last  September.  She is attending class and walking between 5-10 MILES a day!  do you think someone can do this?!  She looks outstanding and doesn't look like the same person.  Can someone overdo exercise?  She is great person and I feel that fact that her 5 year old granddaughter has brain cancer that is inoperable has a whole lot to do with this.  Some kind of internal stress can drive one to do things normally cannot even talk about.  The whole scenario breaks my heart.  This just seems lot of weight in one year.  She tells me she is under doctor's care and has stopped taking most of the medication 8 bottles down to 2.  Life!  Each day is struggle around here.  Except the one brother I take care of he claims he is accepting what he is given.  Claims he likes it under his 'rock'.  

Have safe day!


----------



## Dina

Oh, my heart goes out to the 5 year old granddaughter.  Prayers go out to your niece also Expat.  I feel that as long as we keep a close lookout and seek professional help for our loved ones, wheather it's a family or friends, they are very well on their way to recovery.


----------



## expatgirl

Thanks, Dina........and I have the same sentiments, In the Kitchen, my granddaughter is 5, too!  How sad for her..........


----------



## In the Kitchen

The heartache is this grandmother wears t-shirts when she is in class with picture and asking for prayer for this beautiful little girl.  Surely a reminder how blessed we are to have the life we do.  As you say, only 5 years old!


----------



## Alix

Really quite a minor vent in light of all the stuff posted lately. 

I am sick to bloody death of people trying to ram information down my throat and telling me I'd better like it. I'm put in mind of Chuck Norris saying, "If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you."

I really don't care for people telling me how wonderful and talented and amazing they are. And I really don't care to feel bullied. Thats not a word I use lightly either.

One of the things I prize most about this place is the fact that we all treat each other with respect and its a haven, a place I want to come to. I like to come to see what everyone is doing, and I feel like we are a family here. Thank you to all of you who share your lives with me every day. I cherish you all. And thanks for listening to my very minor vent. I know it was petty, but I needed to get it out before it festered anymore.


----------



## deelady

A vent is a vent, no need for apologies! That is why this thread was started right? To get things off your chest.....if it was bothering you then it was not too minor! 

That would be awesome if you did say that quote to the "bully"


----------



## Alix

Deelady, I started this thread way back when because I frequently need to just get it off my chest. Thankfully, there is always someone here to listen. 

And as for the bully, well, yes I have said my piece. I've tried to be awfully polite about it too. I really want to say some rude and nasty things, but have decided that would just make ME look bad so I'll stick with what I've said and continue on my merry way. 

Honestly though, it really does get me bent out of shape to have folks treat me (and everyone really) like we ought to be kneeling at the feet of greatness. 

Thanks for letting me get that little bit of snottiness out of my system. I'm done now.


----------



## kadesma

Alix said:


> Really quite a minor vent in light of all the stuff posted lately.
> 
> I am sick to bloody death of people trying to ram information down my throat and telling me I'd better like it. I'm put in mind of Chuck Norris saying, "If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you."
> 
> I really don't care for people telling me how wonderful and talented and amazing they are. And I really don't care to feel bullied. Thats not a word I use lightly either.
> 
> One of the things I prize most about this place is the fact that we all treat each other with respect and its a haven, a place I want to come to. I like to come to see what everyone is doing, and I feel like we are a family here. Thank you to all of you who share your lives with me every day. I cherish you all. And thanks for listening to my very minor vent. I know it was petty, but I needed to get it out before it festered anymore.


 Alix my dad had a similar expression,"If I wanted to hear what you had to say I'd kick it out of you" I too love it here, especially the helpful, kind members who really care and try their very best to help..When someone tries to "lord" it over me, I get a tad snippy feeling. I can think for myself, I can tie my own shoes without a diagram.And I know you can do the same, without me talking and talking about it to you.   I try to always think what other will think about the answers I give and how it will affect their feelings.. When I offer an opinion, it's never one written in stone,it's usually something I've expeirenced and care to share..If ever anyone feels I've hurt their feeling please let me know and I will apologize right now...Alix, if I have ever hurt you in any way..I am deeply sorry..I consider you a dear kind friend.

kades


----------



## deelady

I know only TOO WELL exactly what you are saying....I have about well...all my coworkers who are that way! It felt wonderful giving my two week notice in knowing that soon they will be in a crunch and hating life....oopps did I say that!


----------



## Alix

kadesma! Perish the thought! I don't think you've ever hurt ANYONE and especially not me. Thanks for the lovely words. I'm not feeling very nice or kind right now. LOL. I'm feeling a bit Chuck Norrisish. 

Isn't it funny how some turns of phrase kind of take on a life of their own? I love that one.


----------



## Alix

deelady said:


> I know only TOO WELL exactly what you are saying....I have about well...all my coworkers who are that way! It felt wonderful giving my two week notice in knowing that soon they will be in a crunch and hating life....oopps did I say that!



WOOHOO! I'm glad you are getting out of a snippy place. It sucks the life right out of you doesn't it?


----------



## expatgirl

Alix said:


> Deelady, I started this thread way back when because I frequently need to just get it off my chest. Thankfully, there is always someone here to listen.
> 
> And as for the bully, well, yes I have said my piece. I've tried to be awfully polite about it too. I really want to say some rude and nasty things, but have decided that would just make ME look bad so I'll stick with what I've said and continue on my merry way.
> 
> Honestly though, it really does get me bent out of shape to have folks treat me (and everyone really) like we ought to be kneeling at the feet of greatness.
> 
> Thanks for letting me get that little bit of snottiness out of my system. I'm done now.



People who have to "bullfrog" about themselves (well another word does come to mind) are insecure..........."Desiderata" by Kahlil Gibran comes to mind "There will always be people lesser than you and greater than you"   I bet they don't have many friends either which is more important, you can take your "accomplishments" to the grave and they'll soon be forgotten but friends and family will keep your memories alive long after you're gone whether you are "lesser" or "greater" than them


----------



## deelady

Yes it sure does!! I didn't want to be a stay at home mom, didn't feel it was for me....but man, now it sounds lovely!! Only female I want to get attitude from is a little short stuff one whom I can tell her to go sit in her chair until she is ready to be nice!!


----------



## kadesma

Alix said:


> kadesma! Perish the thought! I don't think you've ever hurt ANYONE and especially not me. Thanks for the lovely words. I'm not feeling very nice or kind right now. LOL. I'm feeling a bit Chuck Norrisish.
> 
> Isn't it funny how some turns of phrase kind of take on a life of their own? I love that one.


Thanks Alix and the same can be said about you..Now, put on your black belt and go to work girl
kades


----------



## Barbara L

Alix said:


> ...I really don't care for people telling me how wonderful and talented and amazing they are. And I really don't care to feel bullied. Thats not a word I use lightly either...


 


kadesma said:


> ...If ever anyone feels I've hurt their feeling please let me know and I will apologize right now...Alix, if I have ever hurt you in any way..I am deeply sorry..I consider you a dear kind friend.
> 
> kades


Well goodness knows, cj, yours was the first name that came to mind when Alix mentioned being bullied!    You silly, sweet, wonderful woman!  As Alix said, you have never hurt anyone!  You are one of the truly nicest people I have ever known.  

I'm glad you shared your vent with us Alix.  We are here to listen.  I hope everything is settled now.  

And if cj ever bullies you again, just send her to Dove's woodshed!  

Barbara


----------



## kadesma

HI everyone..Just had a PM from LPBeier our Laurie's DH..She has been in the hospital and has had some work done on that knee..The infection seems to be gone but one of the parts of the replacement knee had to be changed..So she should be home soon and back with us..just wanted to let you all know. It's awful to be ill and missing your friends..So
From me
Get well soon Laurie we are all missing you..Hope this ends all the pain and hurt you've been having..Prayers and good thoughts my friend
cj


----------



## Barbara L

Thank you for letting us know cj.  

I'm praying for a quick recovery Laurie.  We miss you!

Barbara


----------



## Bilby

Thanks Kadesma.  Get better soon Laurie!


----------



## LPBeier

Thank you so much everyone for your wishes and caring.  You don't know how good it was knowing I had such a wonderful support team at DC waiting for me.  Thanks Kades for passing on DH's message and sorry it took so long.  I was on IV antibiotics for 8 days and then my doctor admitted me to one hospital (1/2 hour from home) to have surgery to clean out the joint and make sure everything was okay.  That was last Monday.  After two days of waiting he had me transferred to the original hospital where I had the surgery done on Tuesday night and I was operated on Wednesday afternoon.  I was back on heavy anti-biotics until this morning.  They also had to replace a plastic piece that fills in for my cartilege because the original one was 2mm too thick and was causing the excess pain and loss of mobility.

I just got home 1/2 hour ago and am going to rest as I am very tired, but glad it is all behind me.  No more anti-biotics, no more blood thinner shots in my stomach and no more pain killers!

Thanks again and it is so good to be back!


----------



## kadesma

LPBeier said:


> Thank you so much everyone for your wishes and caring.  You don't know how good it was knowing I had such a wonderful support team at DC waiting for me.  Thanks Kades for passing on DH's message and sorry it took so long.  I was on IV antibiotics for 8 days and then my doctor admitted me to one hospital (1/2 hour from home) to have surgery to clean out the joint and make sure everything was okay.  That was last Monday.  After two days of waiting he had me transferred to the original hospital where I had the surgery done on Tuesday night and I was operated on Wednesday afternoon.  I was back on heavy anti-biotics until this morning.  They also had to replace a plastic piece that fills in for my cartilege because the original one was 2mm too thick and was causing the excess pain and loss of mobility.
> 
> I just got home 1/2 hour ago and am going to rest as I am very tired, but glad it is all behind me.  No more anti-biotics, no more blood thinner shots in my stomach and no more pain killers!
> 
> Thanks again and it is so good to be back!


Good to hear from you Laurie, I was worried, but I also knew DH would take good care of you. Glad you're home and feeling better...Take care, talk to you soon..GO REST NOW
kades


----------



## pdswife

Keep on Feeling better Laurie!
You've been missed!!!


----------



## deelady

Wishing you a speedy recovery!!!


----------



## luvs

luv ya & missed you, laurie! i hate shots in my tummy!!


----------



## babetoo

so glad you are home and doing better. take care of yourself, while you recover. enough is enough, don't you think.


----------



## Dina

Laurie,
We've missed you here dear.  Hope you begin feeling better.


----------



## expatgirl

hang in there, Laurie, you're a tough ol' bird, and you're a fighter.......


----------



## suziquzie

Laurie I'm glad you're ok. I really hope this is the end end end of all of this for you!!!!!

Now.... when do you start the marathon training?


----------



## expatgirl

I have to apologize......."Desiderata" that I quoted in post 3363 was not by Kahlil Gibran but by Max Erhman...sorry........conscience is squeaky clean now


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Enough?*

I am sure you are wondering, what next?  Isn't this enough?  Why all these things happen only God knows why!  I have been told that we can't give up; that we won't have to endure forever.  But oh, it sure seems to be so hard when it is only you that has to endure at the time.  

When I read this thread, I could not help but think if only the world we have to live in would have the love and compassion that this one has.  Could you imagine how the hospital would have been filled if all these people who ext end their hope and prayers would have been able to visit you?   I am sure the hospital would have had to limit our visiting hours.  Wouldn't that have been exciting?  However, as it is , you can truly be considered blessed to have so many people thinking of you.  This support is surely something you need at this time and should not be limited.  Being in such a vulnerable state physically, this is making you strong mentally.  I too, hope you will recover and get back feeling the 'best'.  Maybe all this struggling will prove worth is to get feeling strong and able again. I, for one, know the affects it has as all the medicine they were giving my mother did not do any good until this minister from church visited her.  It lifted her spirit and she recovered.  

Hoping you will do as the doc tor said and knowing you will get stronger as the days go by.  Thanks for keeping us in the 'loop'!


----------



## expatgirl

boy, I'm sick and tired of people pushing ahead of me in line but I was put in my place a few days ago and was rather embarrassed by my rude reaction........I'm so used to being pushed by the locals that when a nice (well ,rather nice looking----ok i'm not dead yet) put 4 bottles of beer on the counter..........I growled "I'm next"........he excused himself in English.......new twist here........where are you from.....Texas......oh.........Bush.........I look back at him and feel really guilty for being so abrupt..........I pay for my purchases and apologize for being rude but I've had so many people push their way ahead of me with no apologies whatsoever.......my biggest fear is that I'm going to collapse on the ground here one day and people are going to walk over me...........he just laughed..........I was ready to adopt him right then and there as he was probably the same age as my son and had dimples just like him.....he said no problem.......goodness I've been in a weepy mood......it's just what I needed to hear then........thank goodness for guys with dimples.........


----------



## Lynd

Haha, glad to hear that you met a nice person, I wonder if you scared him!


----------



## Dina

That's just to show that there are still nice guys out there and cute ones too.  LOL


----------



## suziquzie

yep... my middle one has dimples.
may he make someones day with them some day.


----------



## LPBeier

Men with dimples are the best (I married one!!!). I am glad it renewed a bit of your faith in the people....if for a few minutes.


----------



## expatgirl

what is it with dimples............thanks you guys........this guy informed me that he was living in Germany............he's Kazakh and good-looking and I've just bitten his head off......and he's smiling at me and being polite and no, I'm no  eye-candy at this point in my life.......he's just being nice and polite............is he for real????  should I tell him that I'm coming into a huge inheritance????  jest kidding.............


----------



## In the Kitchen

expatgirl said:


> boy, I'm sick and tired of people pushing ahead of me in line but I was put in my place a few days ago and was rather embarrassed by my rude reaction........I'm so used to being pushed by the locals that when a nice (well ,rather nice looking----ok i'm not dead yet) put 4 bottles of beer on the counter..........I growled "I'm next"........he excused himself in English.......new twist here........where are you from.....Texas......oh.........Bush.........I look back at him and feel really guilty for being so abrupt..........I pay for my purchases and apologize for being rude but I've had so many people push their way ahead of me with no apologies whatsoever.......my biggest fear is that I'm going to collapse on the ground here one day and people are going to walk over me...........he just laughed..........I was ready to adopt him right then and there as he was probably the same age as my son and had dimples just like him.....he said no problem.......goodness I've been in a weepy mood......it's just what I needed to hear then........thank goodness for guys with dimples.........



I can relate to many of your posts so often and makes me smile, not at you but with you.  It seems we get stepped on too often and then when we retaliate we are embarrassed as we now are the ones we resent.  Makes us feel so guilty (especially if he is as good looking as you say).  I am sure we will get stepped on in the future.

We must all be related in some way as the things that affect most of us bothers others on this site.  Is it because we are interested in food?  Don't know the relation but thanks anyway for sharing.  Also grateful you have husband that understands.


----------



## suziquzie

I am so sick of this stupid, piece of crap house!!!! 
It's 35, a year older than I.... good grief I hope I dont start to degenerate like this next year....
Something is wrong with the drain somewhere..... the downstairs toilet and sink both drain very slowly.... and when DH was showering this evening I could see the drain in the floor of the utility room slowly rise.... 
DH thinks it may just be the piece of PVC my 4 yr old threw and flushed down the toilet last week..... boy I hope so cuz if not its a problem with the septic system and that would make me just commit myself to the looney bin. He can't do anything until tomorrow and lord knows he'll bee too tired or something. Stupid overnight shifts. 

This is my other problem..... on his watch, when I work, PVC GOES IN THE TOILET!!!!! 
ok fine, legos go in noses on my watch, but COME ON!!!!


----------



## expatgirl

In the Kitchen said:


> I can relate to many of your posts so often and makes me smile, not at you but with you.  It seems we get stepped on too often and then when we retaliate we are embarrassed as we now are the ones we resent.  Makes us feel so guilty (especially if he is as good looking as you say).  I am sure we will get stepped on in the future.
> 
> We must all be related in some way as the things that affect most of us bothers others on this site.  Is it because we are interested in food?  Don't know the relation but thanks anyway for sharing.  Also grateful you have husband that understands.




Your post really made me smile in so many ways.....thanks I needed the Dr. Feelgood shot!!!!


----------



## miniman

suziquzie said:


> I am so sick of this stupid, piece of crap house!!!!
> It's 35, a year older than I.... good grief I hope I dont start to degenerate like this next year....
> Something is wrong with the drain somewhere..... the downstairs toilet and sink both drain very slowly.... and when DH was showering this evening I could see the drain in the floor of the utility room slowly rise....
> DH thinks it may just be the piece of PVC my 4 yr old threw and flushed down the toilet last week..... boy I hope so cuz if not its a problem with the septic system and that would make me just commit myself to the looney bin. He can't do anything until tomorrow and lord knows he'll bee too tired or something. Stupid overnight shifts.
> 
> This is my other problem..... on his watch, when I work, PVC GOES IN THE TOILET!!!!!
> ok fine, legos go in noses on my watch, but COME ON!!!!


 
Its horrible when things keep happening - praying for a better day and a not so tired DH.


----------



## expatgirl

suziquzie said:


> I am so sick of this stupid, piece of crap house!!!!
> It's 35, a year older than I.... good grief I hope I dont start to degenerate like this next year....
> Something is wrong with the drain somewhere..... the downstairs toilet and sink both drain very slowly.... and when DH was showering this evening I could see the drain in the floor of the utility room slowly rise....
> DH thinks it may just be the piece of PVC my 4 yr old threw and flushed down the toilet last week..... boy I hope so cuz if not its a problem with the septic system and that would make me just commit myself to the looney bin. He can't do anything until tomorrow and lord knows he'll bee too tired or something. Stupid overnight shifts.
> 
> This is my other problem..... on his watch, when I work, PVC GOES IN THE TOILET!!!!!
> ok fine, legos go in noses on my watch, but COME ON!!!![/qu
> 
> hang on, Mom...........have a latte laced with some brandy and just settle down.....then go home and beat the hell out of the nearest pillow........you;ll feel better I promise............


----------



## Bilby

Suzi, my house is a few years younger than yours and doesn't have any children in it, but it has so many problems that I don't have the capability or finances to address, so I know where you are coming from... and strangely enough, one of them is the drain too! (You know changing a washer is a relatively simple procedure but I still need to get the plumber (or someone) in cos I can't turn the blessed thing to release it! Same goes with the toilet which I could repair but stuffed something else up along the way!!! GRRRRRR!!!)

Laurie, glad you are on the mend!

Expat: Dimples!! I liked dimples so much, I used to practice in front of the mirror (in my youth!!) till I was able to create them when I smiled a certain way. Now, with the steroids, if I try to do the same thing, I just look like a chipmunk getting ready to hibernate!!! LOL Even when I was four, Kirk Douglas impressed me with his chin!!


----------



## expatgirl

When I make dimples it's on my butt.........sorry couldn't resist...


----------



## Bilby

Have to say Expat, that I don't have any idea about mine ... not an angle I focus on too much!!! LOL  Flashing THOSE dimples may not have the intended effect.... ;-)


----------



## expatgirl

I'm so glad to hear from you ..........hope that all is going well.......love.....debs......please keep in touch...............


----------



## expatgirl

I dont't know..girls stilll stay in loop..........


----------



## Bilby

I went back to work in August (just four hours twice a week) and am constantly tired.  Also my mum has just been diagnosed with lung cancer so I am running her around for her tests and shopping etc, so just more tired!!  Treading water at the moment I guess.  See what the tests  say as to whether they can operate on her and whether she is able to cope on one and two/thirds lungs or not.  Today was the scan to see if it had spread.  Find out soon I expect.  I am not (refuse to as much as anything) worry until have something concrete to worry about.  It is something that is ideally treatable until we hear contrary.  It may never happen!!  We'll see.


----------



## texasgirl

Bilby said:


> I went back to work in August (just four hours twice a week) and am constantly tired. Also my mum has just been diagnosed with lung cancer so I am running her around for her tests and shopping etc, so just more tired!! Treading water at the moment I guess. See what the tests say as to whether they can operate on her and whether she is able to cope on one and two/thirds lungs or not. Today was the scan to see if it had spread. Find out soon I expect. I am not (refuse to as much as anything) worry until have something concrete to worry about. It is something that is ideally treatable until we hear contrary. It may never happen!! We'll see.


 
After a long line of cancer in my family, I will pray for your mother to be well again.


----------



## Bilby

Thanks for that Stacy.


----------



## TanyaK

Bilby said:


> I went back to work in August (just four hours twice a week) and am constantly tired.  Also my mum has just been diagnosed with lung cancer so I am running her around for her tests and shopping etc, so just more tired!!  Treading water at the moment I guess.  See what the tests  say as to whether they can operate on her and whether she is able to cope on one and two/thirds lungs or not.  Today was the scan to see if it had spread.  Find out soon I expect.  I am not (refuse to as much as anything) worry until have something concrete to worry about.  It is something that is ideally treatable until we hear contrary.  It may never happen!!  We'll see.



Went through a similar thing with my mom's brain tumor earlier this year and I know how scary and draining this is. I'm glad that you have such a positive attitude - stay strong!


----------



## expatgirl

oh, Bilby, am so sorry about your mum's latest   diagnosis.......I know it's going to get worse with time....I would wish you for a daughter.............


----------



## pdswife

Bilby.. good thoughts being sent your way.


----------



## expatgirl

even mine
 and I'm not being mean.........she's only for the stron of heart and mind.........a true Scots'


----------



## kadesma

Bilby,
I'm sorry to hear about your mom..I wish there was something that i could do for her and you..But all I can do if offer good thoughts and prayers...You will both stay close to my heart til the all clear sounds..
kadesma


----------



## expatgirl

man, if as you didn't need any more stess in your life........we're here for you and no, I was kidding about giving you my daughter earlier............please lean on us at DC land.......love and hugs.....debs......


----------



## LPBeier

Bilby, my heart and prayers go out to you as well.  I went through this with my Mom 13 years ago.  Take good care of yourself while you are taking care of her.  We are here for you.  I have personally experienced the fact that the love and caring from DC'ers is endless and true.


----------



## suziquzie

Bilby I hope it turns out alright. Praying for you!


----------



## Barbara L

I'm praying for your mother and you as well Bilby.  Please give her our best wishes.

Barbara


----------



## Barbara L

Our hotel has one washer and dryer for guests to use.  I just washed a load of clothes and then went down to put them in the dryer (I have another load or two to do but we are going to meet Tattrat in about an hour).  I put my money in and pressed "Start."  Nothing.  I hurried up to the front desk (opposite end of the hotel) and let her know.  She called the maintenance guy who got there just after I did.  He asked if I put money in.  He pushed the thing in again and pressed start.  Nothing.  He just kept saying that I needed to go get $1.50 from the front desk to see if it would start.  I suggested that maybe a breaker just needed to be flipped, and he said he didn't know anything about that.  I am so frustrated.  I now have a load of wet clothes piled on the bathroom sink and counter because I don't have time to fool with them.  I don't know anything about electricity, but I do know that if something isn't getting any power at all, the first thing you should do it check the source of power, not just throw more money into it.

Barbara


----------



## texasgirl

Well, after Saturday, I will no longer have a dang job!! He said that he could only keep me part time, but, didnt' even put me on the schedule. Pray I get that job tomorrow!!


----------



## LPBeier

Barbara, after living in dorms and apartment buildings I totally understand the frustrations of pay laundry machines. I hope you get it worked out but in the meantime have a good time with Tattrat!

Stacy, prayers going out to you regarding your job situation.


----------



## babetoo

comparing you guys and your serious problems, mine seems silly. i finally told handyman to beat feet. suffice to say he jerked me around just once to often on showing up. after sleeping on my floor so as to get a early start on project, he disappeared for an entire day. showed up at midnight. thinking i would let him in, i guess. i put his stuff on the porch with a note to take his stuff and go home. he was warned a week ago that i was nearing the end of my rope with him. 

bad thing he owns me work now. i did get a lot of stuff done at very in-expensive prices. i just decided it was not worth it anymore . wasn't enjoying the projects any more. 

babe


----------



## suziquzie

I'll bring DH out and he can be your handyman babe!


----------



## pdswife

hey, did the toilet get fixed Suzi???


----------



## suziquzie

not really. we can use everything, just not often. It drains, but REALLY slow....
step-FIL had to work late and couldn't bring his giant snake (haha) up, so DH went to work early to get it on his way, and it will be here at 6:30 am. 
Pray for me that its just a stuck piece of pvc and not some other horrible issue that would involve a jackhammer....


----------



## Barbara L

We're praying for your job Stacy.

Barbara


----------



## pdswife

suziquzie said:


> not really. we can use everything, just not often. It drains, but REALLY slow....
> step-FIL had to work late and couldn't bring his giant snake (haha) up, so DH went to work early to get it on his way, and it will be here at 6:30 am.
> Pray for me that its just a stuck piece of pvc and not some other horrible issue that would involve a jackhammer....


 

NO JACKHAMMERS ALLOWED AT SUZI's HOUSE!!!!!


----------



## babetoo

suziquzie said:


> I'll bring DH out and he can be your handyman babe!


 
you are on, lol. the weather here is lovely.

babe


----------



## expatgirl

the toilets here are cute (I can just hear BuckyTom chiming in on this one) anyway I'm plowing ahead......on top of the tank covering are two buttons.....one bigger than the other....the smaller one is pushed for nbr 1 and the bigger is for ........can you believe.......lots of water pressure.....when it comes to showers it's  every man for himself..........warm, very hot, very cold and you really don't know in what order.........you are literally dancing your way thru the shower.......and I have long hair........finally you decide that you're a trooper and that cold showers are good for you hair and make it shinier......believe me your brain will tell you lies........


----------



## LeeAnn

I won't say anything specific yet - since there's a magnitude on my mind at the moment - but I do wish we all didn't have to have something "external" causing more wrinkles and gray hair than would naturally come anyway!  Sheesh!


----------



## texasgirl

LeeAnn said:


> I won't say anything specific yet - since there's a magnitude on my mind at the moment - but I do wish we all didn't have to have something "external" causing more wrinkles and gray hair than would naturally come anyway! Sheesh!


 

I don't know what is going on with your life, but, I feel ya!!


----------



## Barbara L

LeeAnn said:


> ...I do wish we all didn't have to have something "external" causing more wrinkles and gray hair than would naturally come anyway! Sheesh!


So you've got kids and/or a boss huh?    Seriously, I hope all is going well for you, no matter what this external cause is.  

Barbara


----------



## Bilby

Thanks everyone for your warm thoughts.  Having been thru so many tests and diagnoses, pessamistic doctors, etc, I just take it as it comes and try to just be objective. Mum is a bit the same so just another day but she is stressing out a bit just thru the waiting between tests.  We first heard that something was amiss in her lungs on Aug 15 and a month later we still don't know if they can operate or not.  And even then, if they can do it, we still have to wait while we get a surgeon!  My brother and his wife flew out to Italy tonight for a fortnight, which has been arranged for over a year, with my mother's blessing cos there was just so little likelihood of anything being resolved before he returned! See what tomorrow brings I guess.

Stacy:  Good luck on the job front. Hope something goes right for you!

Suzi:  I feel your fear!!!!

Babe: Good for you!!
(going to post in Celebrations now if anyone wants to check that out.)


----------



## kadesma

Bilby said:


> Thanks everyone for your warm thoughts.  Having been thru so many tests and diagnoses, pessamistic doctors, etc, I just take it as it comes and try to just be objective. Mum is a bit the same so just another day but she is stressing out a bit just thru the waiting between tests.  We first heard that something was amiss in her lungs on Aug 15 and a month later we still don't know if they can operate or not.  And even then, if they can do it, we still have to wait while we get a surgeon!  My brother and his wife flew out to Italy tonight for a fortnight, which has been arranged for over a year, with my mother's blessing cos there was just so little likelihood of anything being resolved before he returned! See what tomorrow brings I guess.
> 
> Stacy:  Good luck on the job front. Hope something goes right for you!
> 
> Suzi:  I feel your fear!!!!
> 
> Babe: Good for you!!
> (going to post in Celebrations now if anyone wants to check that out.)


Bilby,
you make me feel like a cry baby..I know that is not your intension so ignore me I just want you to know every time I read you posts, it lifts me up and I know I can do this...That is thanks to you and several others here who make me feel I must go on..I'm praying for your mom and you. Hang in there...Let us give something back to you.
kades


----------



## Bilby

Ah Kadesma ... I'm probably just really good at detatching myself from my emotions - I get to ignore it all... or it might just be that stiff British upper lip coming out in me!!  And don't worry, I have my major panic/worry/terror sessions.  Just don't give them air too often as it doesn't get me anywhere, esp as I live alone - nobody to cheer you up!  

Thanks for your sweet thoughts.


----------



## texasgirl

An interview PANEL!! Why do companies do this? I feel STUPID. I'm sure I won't get that job!! They had a list of questions and THEN, tossed me a paper clip, said, take a minute and then sell that to me. WHAT??? oh lord, if I don't get this job, after that, I don't know why I'm being punished.


----------



## pdswife

is this for a sales job Stacy? I had the same thing happen to me (only it was a stuffed dog)..for a job at a gym once.  Luckily I didn't get it!

Good luck!1


----------



## Barbara L

I hate one-on-one interviews, but I especially hate panel interviews.  

Stacy, if you don't get the job, it wasn't the one for you.  But you gained interview experience either way.  

We're still praying that you find the perfect job, and that you will receive the appreciation there that you deserve.

Barbara


----------



## texasgirl

No, not a sales job. It's for the City utitilies company in the internet and cable dept. It was basically to see if I can tell someone why they want something, like the cable or internet. I can no longer wait for the perfect job, since Saturday is my last day. He's running me off and now it sounds like he's running the manager off too. He's being really mean to everyone and we don't understand why.


----------



## Barbara L

Dumb, dumb, dumb!  Me that is!

I put my last load of clothes in to wash a while ago, then came back to our room.  I was hanging some of the clothes I had just dried, when I realized I was still wearing a shirt I especially wanted to wear in the next couple days.  I changed into another shirt really quickly and hurried to the laundry room.  It had just finished spinning out the wash water and was getting ready to fill for the first rinse.  I didn't have any more clothes to wash (except James's jeans, which I didn't see before I left), and I hadn't worn it that long, so I went ahead and threw it into the washer.    I figured it would get a little detergent on it as the washer filled, and since it wasn't really dirty, it wouldn't hurt.  

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

texasgirl said:


> An interview PANEL!! Why do companies do this? I feel STUPID. I'm sure I won't get that job!! They had a list of questions and THEN, tossed me a paper clip, said, take a minute and then sell that to me. WHAT??? oh lord, if I don't get this job, after that, I don't know why I'm being punished.


in their defense, TX, maybe they were seeing how well you thought on your feet.....you'd be surprised what you can pull out of your drawers if you have to..........it probably would have been a very stressful job if it was sales.......by the time this is all over you will have passed BS101 with flying colors...just look at it as training....better luck with your next interview and who's to say that you're out on this one.........


----------



## texasgirl

Barbara L said:


> Dumb, dumb, dumb! Me that is!
> 
> I put my last load of clothes in to wash a while ago, then came back to our room. I was hanging some of the clothes I had just dried, when I realized I was still wearing a shirt I especially wanted to wear in the next couple days. I changed into another shirt really quickly and hurried to the laundry room. It had just finished spinning out the wash water and was getting ready to fill for the first rinse. I didn't have any more clothes to wash (except James's jeans, which I didn't see before I left), and I hadn't worn it that long, so I went ahead and threw it into the washer.  I figured it would get a little detergent on it as the washer filled, and since it wasn't really dirty, it wouldn't hurt.
> 
> Barbara


 
Done this MANY times!! Hey, soap is for oil anyway. All a shirt needs to be clean is water.


----------



## Barbara L

texasgirl said:


> No, not a sales job. It's for the City utitilies company in the internet and cable dept. It was basically to see if I can tell someone why they want something, like the cable or internet. I can no longer wait for the perfect job, since Saturday is my last day. He's running me off and now it sounds like he's running the manager off too. He's being really mean to everyone and we don't understand why.


Well, you definitely don't deserve to be treated like that.  It is odd that he is being mean to everyone.  It could be because of any number of things.

As I said, we are still praying for you.

Barbara


----------



## texasgirl

Barbara L said:


> Well, you definitely don't deserve to be treated like that. It is odd that he is being mean to everyone. It could be because of any number of things.
> 
> As I said, we are still praying for you.
> 
> Barbara


 

By the time I'm done with him, he will know what mean is!!
I'm turning him in to the labor board. I am paid hourly, but, 4 of the 6 others an a couple in the other company in the same building are paid daily. Jsut examples, if you work 6 hours, you only get paid 5. You MUST work 7 to get the 8. They work 8:30 - 6 with a 30 minute lunch, thats 9 hours and only get paid for 8!! They don't get over time pay, only straight pay, so, if they work and extra day, giving them 48 hours, he doesn't pay them time and a half, as Tx labor says to. I'm gonna have fun


----------



## expatgirl

you are talking yourself out of this job...........that's good........I want you to.........


----------



## LPBeier

Stacy, I agree with Expat that you are best out of there and I am glad you are standing up for yourself and your co-workers.  Use that strength to go out there and get that new job.  No, none will ever be the "perfect one" but if you think positively about yourself and what you have to offer, you will come pretty close.  You go girl, I am behind you all the way.  Love and prayers being sent to you!


----------



## In the Kitchen

*texas*

Of all the times I have read your thoughts, you truely come across as one who is strong and has personal high values.  Believe in yourself and know you are the best this company could hire.  Let them know you are definitely people person.  

Wish you luck and keep us informed.


----------



## texasgirl

They chose someone else, sooooooo, tomorrow, I will be unemployed. That's okay, that wasn't the job for me, Barbara said so, lol!! I applied to 8 jobs today, lets see what happens.


----------



## babetoo

babe's soap opera continues. went out to put trash cans off the street.the handyman was in my driveway painting fan blades on one that i bought. i asked if he had any clue how angry i am at him. he said yes. and sorry. then asked if a chocolate would make it better. i told him no and went in the front door after watering the plants. 

what do i do now ??? i am still very angry. don't really want to talk to him. what to do , what to do.?  should i just not answer the door if he knocks? or open it and tell him to go away. help, help, help.

babe


----------



## In the Kitchen

texasgirl said:


> They chose someone else, sooooooo, tomorrow, I will be unemployed. That's okay, that wasn't the job for me, Barbara said so, lol!! I applied to 8 jobs today, lets see what happens.



Don't let this get you down.  Keep your hopes high.  There IS ONE for YOU.  Be strong.  If I could do it for you I would.  But this is lesson you will learn.  This is something you GOT to do and you will, you will.  Just keep reminding Him that you are needing His help and direction.  As long as you don't murder your former employer I know He will be there.  Just keep your heart and mind open.  I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.  Hope you know of who I am speaking about.  HE IS IN CONTROL of my  life and I hope yours too.


----------



## LPBeier

babetoo said:


> babe's soap opera continues. went out to put trash cans off the street.the handyman was in my driveway painting fan blades on one that i bought. i asked if he had any clue how angry i am at him. he said yes. and sorry. then asked if a chocolate would make it better. i told him no and went in the front door after watering the plants.
> 
> what do i do now ??? i am still very angry. don't really want to talk to him. what to do , what to do.? should i just not answer the door if he knocks? or open it and tell him to go away. help, help, help.
> 
> babe


 
My dear Babe, this guy is certified crazy!  When you want him there he is nowhere in site and when you kick him out he is there working uninvited.  You have been more than patient and more than kind (dinners, letting him stay) and I am sure you pay him well too.  I would just tell him that you are firing him, don't want to see him on your property and will not pay him for any work he does.

And if that doesn't work, let me know and I will come and chase him away with my walker!

Seriously, you don't need this hassle.  I am sure there are other handimen around who would be more reliable and are looking for work.


----------



## jpmcgrew

babetoo said:


> babe's soap opera continues. went out to put trash cans off the street.the handyman was in my driveway painting fan blades on one that i bought. i asked if he had any clue how angry i am at him. he said yes. and sorry. then asked if a chocolate would make it better. i told him no and went in the front door after watering the plants.
> 
> what do i do now ??? i am still very angry. don't really want to talk to him. what to do , what to do.? should i just not answer the door if he knocks? or open it and tell him to go away. help, help, help.
> 
> babe


 
 What do you mean painting the fan blades you bought?


----------



## luvs

well, ignore them, you'll get a job, tex. you've personality.


----------



## texasgirl

luvs said:


> well, ignore them, you'll get a job, tex. you've personality.


 
I have 2 personalities and people don't care much for one of them!!
Thank you!!!


----------



## LPBeier

Stacy, you WILL find the right job for you - just believe in yourself as we all do.  And don't panic that you are unemployed, now you have more time to concentrate on looking!


----------



## babetoo

jpmcgrew said:


> What do you mean painting the fan blades you bought?


 
i bought a ceiling fan for a really good price. 10 dollars, but it is brown and i want white since i have three white ones up now.


----------



## Barbara L

texasgirl said:


> They chose someone else, sooooooo, tomorrow, I will be unemployed. That's okay, that wasn't the job for me, Barbara said so, lol!! I applied to 8 jobs today, lets see what happens.


And it's the truth!  If this was the job you were meant to have, you would have it, but something better is in the works.  Remember what I said about His timing.    I'm praying hard sweetie.

Barbara


----------



## Claire

I cannot believe it!  I have had the weirdest possible week and I just saw .... a mouse in the house!  We aren't supposed to have mice until the first frost, are we?  I did see some harvesting going on around but, ****ed it all.  

First of all, my husband had a nightmare Tuesday night and hit me.  I grabbed my dog and came downstairs to sleep.  Then I accidently ran into an ages-old romantic affair.  I don't want to be int he middle of someone's affair, I really don't.  Then, on my way to exercise class I slipped on the wet grass, fell down the hill and under my (parked) truck.  There were a lot of odd little things like this that happened all week. 

So I'm sitting here and looked over and ... a mouse.  I did not need that this week.  Really.


----------



## Barbara L

What a horrible week Claire!  I hope you have a good weekend and that next week is much better!  BTW, around here mice start showing themselves right at harvest time.

Barbara


----------



## LadyCook61

I started dusting , hubby starts in on me about not doing the job right. grrr. If I start doing something, he has to have a comment. He says dusting should be done with the shop vac , otherwise the dust is flying all over the place. He dragged the stupid shop vac into the living room and starts dusting off the furniture. So I sit down and what does he do ?? he turns off the stupid machine and sits too. If I sit, he sits, if I start a chore , he interferes or tells me I am doing it wrong. He is really getting on my nerves.

I got off my chair and started cleaning windows, now he is back to work , using his shop vac, removing dust from ceilings and walls. . 
The man is dangerous with the stupid shop Vac ! He just broke something of my knick knack shelf. 
I think my BP shot up, feeling dizzy, pressure in my chest.


----------



## mikki

I know this is my own fault, but I'm just ticked.I got a speeding ticket.  Friday night I was on my way to my DD soccer game, a empty logging truck was in front of me. The posted speed is 55, anyway he was going 30 up hills and no faster then 40 anywhere else. In 2 passing zones when he was going 40 I went out to pass he sped up, I really think he was messing with me. Anyway his inconsistant speed started making me nervous so on the 3rd passing zone (again going no faster then 40) I started passing, I got about half way by him and he was speeding up agian, decided that I was getting around him and accelerated by him. I know I was speeding when I passed him, but I got right back to the speed limit when I got around him. 
The police officer didn't pull me over until at least 2 miles later after I had made 2 turns. I tried to tell the officer that the trucks speed was fluctuating and made me nervous, but he just said I know they are a pain, and to pass him I was speeding. 
My hubby is a truck driver so trucks don't make me nervous, but something in my gut told me to get around him. Maybe I won't listen to my gut anymore.
I'm guilty and know it, but it's just not what I needed.


----------



## texasgirl

Ouch Mikki!! I hate that. Sometimes, the ticket is worth it though, to keep yourself safe. Never know what can happen with those big trucks!!


----------



## mikki

OK just as I finished that last post hubby came in and said he fixed the washing machine.  This would be a great thing had he not refused to pay to have someone look at it and tell him it was junk, then spent $600 to get a new one.  He never listens to me. One of these days I swear I'm going to beat him.


----------



## mikki

TG that's why I was trying to get around him. His driving was making me nervous.


----------



## texasgirl

mikki said:
			
		

> OK just as I finished that last post hubby came in and said he fixed the washing machine. This would be a great thing had he not refused to pay to have someone look at it and tell him it was junk, then spent $600 to get a new one. He never listens to me. One of these days I swear I'm going to beat him.


Hey, are you married to mine??



mikki said:


> TG that's why I was trying to get around him. His driving was making me nervous.


I know and I would have done the same.


----------



## Claire

Thank you all for understanding.  The mouse is still there somewhere.  Hubby set a trap and guess what?  My aging doggie set it off.  He swore a lot and re-set it.  (He loves our doggie, too; for those who may know us, she's a real oldie).  I did see some harvesting going on and so, I guess it is time.  We had a very hard winter here, so I was hoping for better this year.  At least another month before the mice moved in!


----------



## Claire

Oh, by the way, if I only did one thing right in my life, I told my husband when me married, "He who is doing the job is doing it right."  In other words, no critism allowed of the person who is working their tail off.  No one is allowed to do that, period.  You want to do the job, get off your patootie and do it, otherwise, hush up.  We've been married for 25 plus years now.  It is one rule we both insist on.  Don't tell me how to scrub the floor or do the laundry, or guess what?  It's your job from now on.


----------



## In the Kitchen

mikki said:


> I know this is my own fault, but I'm just ticked.I got a speeding ticket.  Friday night I was on my way to my DD soccer game, a empty logging truck was in front of me. The posted speed is 55, anyway he was going 30 up hills and no faster then 40 anywhere else. In 2 passing zones when he was going 40 I went out to pass he sped up, I really think he was messing with me. Anyway his inconsistant speed started making me nervous so on the 3rd passing zone (again going no faster then 40) I started passing, I got about half way by him and he was speeding up agian, decided that I was getting around him and accelerated by him. I know I was speeding when I passed him, but I got right back to the speed limit when I got around him.
> The police officer didn't pull me over until at least 2 miles later after I had made 2 turns. I tried to tell the officer that the trucks speed was fluctuating and made me nervous, but he just said I know they are a pain, and to pass him I was speeding.
> My hubby is a truck driver so trucks don't make me nervous, but something in my gut told me to get around him. Maybe I won't listen to my gut anymore.
> I'm guilty and know it, but it's just not what I needed.



that happens to me so often where I notice the guy is trying to play games of some kind.  How dangerous and stupid.  Must  be bored with his job.  I am sure they get overworked plenty but why do they forget how things can happen so fast.  Truck here in St Louis  ran into long line of stopped cars because he was just sick and tired of all the traffic.  What a mess.  Seemed like it was some kind of movie the way t he cars were scattered all over.  His mind must have snapped.  Wonder if that trucker got a ticket? 

mikki your post scared me too.  One thing we don't know what he was thinking.  Maybe mad about his job or his wife, who knows? 

doesn't it make you mad to have to get out on the road?


----------



## LPBeier

Claire said:


> Thank you all for understanding.  The mouse is still there somewhere.  Hubby set a trap and guess what?  My aging doggie set it off.  He swore a lot and re-set it.  (He loves our doggie, too; for those who may know us, she's a real oldie).  I did see some harvesting going on and so, I guess it is time.  We had a very hard winter here, so I was hoping for better this year.  At least another month before the mice moved in!



Claire, I totally DO understand about the mouse.  There are few things in live that really scare me but rodents of any type just send me through the roof!  When we lived in our little old bungalow which we were trying to fix up, we got a huge infestation of mice AND rats.  They were everywhere.  We did everything we could to get rid of them and finally had to get the professionals in.  I lived in total fear through that winter that I would run into a live or dead one and we had to be so careful that our puppy didn't find the traps before the critters did.

I will certainly pray that this one is caught quickly without further incident and that he hasn't sent invitations to his family and friends yet to check out his new digs.


----------



## kadesma

texasgirl said:


> Hey, are you married to mine??
> 
> 
> I know and I would have done the same.


I usually just pull over , slow down and let a few cars take my place behind anyone who drives like that..No letting someone toy with me, it makes me very angry....I know we all want to get home and you will, maybe 10 later but what is so important you insist on risking you neck? And I'm still known around here as Lead foot

kadesma


----------



## LPBeier

kadesma said:


> I usually just pull over , slow down and let a few cars take my place behind anyone who drives like that..No letting someone toy with me, it makes me very angry....I know we all want to get home and you will, maybe 10 later but what is so important you insist on risking you neck? And I'm still known around here as Lead foot
> 
> kadesma



Kades, I love your new avatar!  I am the same as you.  I tend to hang back rather than try and get in front of a reckless driver.  Who knows if they will pass me again, but if I drop back they will probably be out of my way.  And I was known as leadfoot in my day as well.  

Now I am not saying that my way is the best, it is just my way!

I miss driving.  I am not legally able until my leg has healed for 3 months after the second surgery which will be just before Christmas and I don't drive in the winter, so I guess I will have to wait until spring to try out our new car!


----------



## Dina

I'm going out of my mind ladies.  Saturday night, while sitting out at my friends' porch, I developed a horrible rash on my arms (by the elbow where it folds).  It itched so I scratched the heck out of it then left it alone.  Sunday it didn't bother me at all but this afternoon, the itching and burning started all over again.  Argh!  I traced back on what I ate and drank differently that might have caused it and all I can recall having is a chorizo appetizer and vodka.  I have had both of these before but it's been a long while.  I have suffered from eczema before but hadn't had it since I was EXTREMELY stressed working full time.  I'm literally freaking out and scaring myself silly here! The Benadryl gel that I just applied helped a bit...sigh...


----------



## LPBeier

Dina, this is going to seem really strange.  I know, because when I was told it I thought the doctor was nuts, but looked it up on the internet and it matched my symptoms - an itching burning rash on my throat and neck area.  

Anyway, I was on a retreat on a local island and we were staying in a cabin made of cedar and there were cedar trees around.  I was also eating a lot of fruit and had a couple of apples.  There is a very rare reaction that can occur in people prone to rashes or eczema that occurs when apples are eaten and the person is exposed to cedar spores. 

Okay, I know it is a real long shot, but though it worth a try.  Everyone can stop laughing now (it was incredibly painful and uncomfortable!).


----------



## kadesma

Dina said:


> I'm going out of my mind ladies.  Saturday night, while sitting out at my friends' porch, I developed a horrible rash on my arms (by the elbow where it folds).  It itched so I scratched the heck out of it then left it alone.  Sunday it didn't bother me at all but this afternoon, the itching and burning started all over again.  Argh!  I traced back on what I ate and drank differently that might have caused it and all I can recall having is a chorizo appetizer and vodka.  I have had both of these before but it's been a long while.  I have suffered from eczema before but hadn't had it since I was EXTREMELY stressed working full time.  I'm literally freaking out and scaring myself silly here! The Benadryl gel that I just applied helped a bit...sigh...


Dina if the gel helped, do you by any chance have any benadryl capsuls? 25. mg can be purchased OTC I'd get some and see 2 caps is what I take when I get a rash or hives from something..
kades


----------



## kadesma

LPBeier said:


> Kades, I love your new avatar!  I am the same as you.  I tend to hang back rather than try and get in front of a reckless driver.  Who knows if they will pass me again, but if I drop back they will probably be out of my way.  And I was known as leadfoot in my day as well.
> 
> Now I am not saying that my way is the best, it is just my way!
> 
> I miss driving.  I am not legally able until my leg has healed for 3 months after the second surgery which will be just before Christmas and I don't drive in the winter, so I guess I will have to wait until spring to try out our new car!


I love angels and collect them for my Christmas tree..So when I saw this one and had a chance to use it I jumped at it. Glad you like her...
kades


----------



## Dina

LPBeier said:


> Dina, this is going to seem really strange. I know, because when I was told it I thought the doctor was nuts, but looked it up on the internet and it matched my symptoms - an itching burning rash on my throat and neck area.
> 
> Anyway, I was on a retreat on a local island and we were staying in a cabin made of cedar and there were cedar trees around. I was also eating a lot of fruit and had a couple of apples. There is a very rare reaction that can occur in people prone to rashes or eczema that occurs when apples are eaten and the person is exposed to cedar spores.
> 
> Okay, I know it is a real long shot, but though it worth a try. Everyone can stop laughing now (it was incredibly painful and uncomfortable!).


Didn't occur to me.  I will check with my friend to see if there are any cedar trees around the area.  I was in pain.  Ick!

Kades,
The benadryl gel helped.  I will go get some pills to keep handy just in case.


----------



## Saphellae

Divorce stinks


----------



## kadesma

Saphellae said:


> Divorce stinks


You alright Saphellae? Can I help?
kadesma


----------



## pdswife

Saphellae said:


> Divorce stinks


 

Yes it does.


----------



## Saphellae

Oh yeah, I'm good. It's my parents, after 24 years they are divorcing. I am old enough to understand, though it's just hard being pulled in both directions, and it is difficult to be neutral to both of them when I see clearly how uneven the ground is right now. I am also very worried about my dad's health. He has had two heart attacks about 6 years ago within six months of each other, and was rushed to the hospital again a couple of weeks ago for an anxiety attack.
Forgot to add, they live an hour away so I feel the pressure to be there alot.. It has been almost every day or two that I am down there. Yes, I want to support them, but I need a break too.

It's just not a fun situation.

On the bright side of my life, the new job is going great and Nick should be joining me soon. We are also looking to buy a house.


----------



## kadesma

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I did..My parents had someone living with them and were at odds over how she was to behave..Rules of the home went out the window, my mom spent most of her time babysitting, her car was  not taken care of as dad felt it should be and then when it would break down she just jumped in theirs and off she went..So, I was always getting calls from both of them expecting me to agree with each of them, asking me to take sides...I had 4 little kids, and could not be constantly asked to run back and forth to help out...I got tired of being a referee..So we sat down andI told them face to face...I love you both and would do anything for you, but I will NOT do this anymore..I will not take sides..You can both call and tell me your sides of things but that will be the end of it...Do not expect me to decided for you..Your best bet is to stand side by side and lay down rules..stick to them and that's it..In your case Sap, I'd just tell them I'm here, I'll listen but please don't expect me to decide...I love you both and your making me ill asking me to chose one over the other..NO MORE and then stick to your guns, listen to what you want and then say okay times up no more...say I ove you and hang up..Let them know you will not run back and forth all the time, it's going to make you ill and then who can you help? I'd tell dad, I love him to take care of himself, you will help all you can but you will not take sides..
Take care of you mom and dad are busy fighting and that is not fair to you..Grow up mom and dad and act like the adults you are. I don't mean to be unkind, but they should be helping YOU and you should help them as well, but you are not the judge, you are the child.

kades


----------



## Dina

Saphellae said:


> Oh yeah, I'm good. It's my parents, after 24 years they are divorcing. I am old enough to understand, though it's just hard being pulled in both directions, and it is difficult to be neutral to both of them when I see clearly how uneven the ground is right now. I am also very worried about my dad's health. He has had two heart attacks about 6 years ago within six months of each other, and was rushed to the hospital again a couple of weeks ago for an anxiety attack.
> Forgot to add, they live an hour away so I feel the pressure to be there alot.. It has been almost every day or two that I am down there. Yes, I want to support them, but I need a break too.
> 
> It's just not a fun situation.
> 
> On the bright side of my life, the new job is going great and Nick should be joining me soon. We are also looking to buy a house.


Sephellae,
I can imagine how it must be for you.  Hang in there.  The thought of your parents being apart after so long is something to get used to.  But remember that both of them will feel better alone than staying in a relationship that is no longer suitable for either one of them.  My sister divorced when my nieces were 20.  It's never easy for anyone but if you see your parents happier this way, then in the end, it's a consolation.  Glad your job is going well.  Prayers go out to your dad for better health.


----------



## LPBeier

Saphellae, I understand all too well what you are going through.  My parents never did divorce but there was times that I think it would have been better if they did, though an accident I had and my Mom getting sick seemed to draw them very close together in the end until she passed away.

I pray for you, both of them and your Dad's health.  And I will give you the same advice as Kades, and that I had to take for myself during the tough times - look after YOU.  As Dina says, this may be the best for them in the long run and you have a life of your own.  Be there for them, but don't get dragged into it.  That won't help them or you.

Take good care, my fellow Canadian!


----------



## Barbara L

I'm sorry you are having to go through this right now Saphellae. I can't really add anything, except to say that kadesma's advice seems to be right on the money. I'm praying for you. And don't forget we are always here when you need to vent, and you can PM any of us if you need us as well.

Barbara


----------



## luvs

my slight vent that's not too important. i'm so angry with jake.
he said i'm an idiot. 
i'm very smart, yet i allowed myself to figure i'm inadequate & so i cried.
what's a guy really expect from a woman...
i may throw him out tomorrow, 9 years isn't so significant to me as to allow him to insult me & put me into tears.
jerk.


----------



## Barbara L

Aw luvs, he didn't mean it, and hopefully very soon he will apologize profusely.  I would cry too if it were me, so I'm right there with you.  Truthfully, I think I have probably called my sweetie an idiot at some point in our marriage (maybe even this week--I do know I told the mail lady to run over him!), but I don't really believe he is one.  Let Jake know that it hurt you, and then give him time (maybe a little "silent" time--they hate that!), and I'm sure he will come around.

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

Great advice all the way around...........


----------



## smoke king

Barbara L said:


> (maybe a little "silent" time--they hate that!)



Barbs right Luvs-we really do hate that, and for the most part we can't figure it out

Karma, along with thoughts and prayers are on the way. Things will look better in the light of day!!


----------



## smoke king

Not so much a "vent" as a friendly reminder. Its been 7 years since 9/11-I hope that all of you (regardless of your stance on the war) if you see a brave young man or woman in uniform, will take a minute to thank them for what they are sacrificing for you.

They really appreciate it, and its the least we civilians can do!!!!


----------



## luvs

yeah, thanks guys. silence treatments work!!!


----------



## mikki

that's great luv's glad everything is ok!!!!


----------



## jpmcgrew

I had a boy friend once call me a stupid ***** I shook my head and knew right there and then the relationship would not last much longer all because I got soot on a shirt he bought me. I was right. Now, on the other hand DH has called me a little idiot but it's in a light way so I say " actually your are the idiot" then he would say well you are the bigger idiot" so I say "well you are the King of idiots or your middle name is idiot" that banter gos on a while but it's all in fun. Also I also have to say the silent treatment make DH very nervous because he has no idea why I'm so mad, well sometimes he dos. I think it's a female thing sometimes we are so darn mad we don't want to talk to him or him to talk to us. After all the IDIOT should know excactly why I'm so mad.


----------



## babetoo

i have vented here several times about the ever tardy handyman. we are currently on the outs.

he left couple chicken sandwichs and a milky way choco bar on my door step.

should i accept this apology ? i sure that is why he left it. and he does owe me work. 

so more ground rules and forgive or just let it be?

babe


----------



## luvs

tha's rough, babetoo. he's so unreliable, though dinner on my doorstep would break my anger. more ground rules sound COMPLETELY acceptable!!!


----------



## luvs

my Dad said i need to lose weight again. does he not recall having to carry me outside along with my brother so my Mum could take me to a local 'piddle at 67 pounds...
i only weigh 142.5 now, & i'm tall. why is he making me so self-conscious. 
i promised him i agree to shush him. 
i'm so jaded i didn't get mad nor sad. just shaking myhead.

he begged me to get to a hospital then, when i was so thin, then critisize me fer gaining weight that keeps me alive..
i don' get him.
thne i've jake promising to leave me if he has to endure my anorexia again.
HA!!! HIM endure my anorexia? HIM?! let me lend him my jogging shoes fer a few miles...
see what agony that was fer BOTH of us, not just him!!!
i may get a hotel fer a few nights & block a few #'s from my phone fer a weekend. sometimes i just need to be by myself.
i'm really not that upset, like i said, i'm jaded. my emotions went flat tonite.


----------



## babetoo

luvs said:


> my Dad said i need to lose weight again. does he not recall having to carry me outside along with my brother so my Mum could take me to a local 'piddle at 67 pounds...
> i only weigh 142.5 now, & i'm tall. why is he making me so self-conscious.
> i promised him i agree to shush him.
> i'm so jaded i didn't get mad nor sad. just shaking myhead.
> 
> he begged me to get to a hospital then, when i was so thin, then critisize me fer gaining weight that keeps me alive..
> i don' get him.
> thne i've jake promising to leave me if he has to endure my anorexia again.
> HA!!! HIM endure my anorexia? HIM?! let me lend him my jogging shoes fer a few miles...
> see what agony that was fer BOTH of us, not just him!!!
> i may get a hotel fer a few nights & block a few #'s from my phone fer a weekend. sometimes i just need to be by myself.
> i'm really not that upset, like i said, i'm jaded. my emotions went flat tonite.


 
luv , i think it is a power play for your dad. i am sorry your husband said that to you, whatever happened to "in sickness and in health?"

maybe a time out for you is a good idea. feel better
babe


----------



## luvs

thnaks, babe.


----------



## expatgirl

ok, time for hoof in the mouth disease.........why are you listening to him and so needy of his approval......you're an adult.......you know that you are at a healthy proper weight esp. since you feel healthy ......it's a control issue on his part............he loves you, that I'm sure of.......but tell him that your weight is your own business and for him to lose 20 kilos if he wants to retain YOUR love (jest kidding on that one but would love to see his reaction) and to let go.......your health is in your hands now............when you were a child your parents had control of your health for better or for worse.........now you're in control and make it an off-limits topic from now on......you set the boundaries........I heard that hoof jelly was good


----------



## Mama

I agree with Babee and Expat.  It's all about control.  And if you feel the need to take off for the weekend...I think you should do it....YOU"RE in control!


----------



## Claire

Luvs, I lived with eating disorders for quite awhile.  They will not get better if you do not get some self esteem.  Give me a personal if you want to discuss it.


----------



## luvs

i'm not lacking self-esteem, i'm lacking a coherent father.


----------



## expatgirl

do you know what you're going to do, luvs?


----------



## mikki

luvs-there's been a few posts where you've said was I married to your husband, this is another example, but this time my turn to ask, Are you married to mine??? always turns things around to be about him.I know how you feel. Makes it hard to live with, sometimes I feel like I don't matter,only he does. Hang in there.


----------



## luvs

yeah, ex. thanks, dear.
i'm not gonna call my Dad fer awhile, me & jake 'er fine now, we dined together, he brought me some bagsful of stuff i wanted, placed my decoration. me & him 'er fine. i'm not gonna starve over my Dad & i won't eat when i not hungry fer jake. 
i decided awhile ago my weight's gonna be my decision, & i let myself eat when i'm hungry, & made an excellent decision!!! my Dad can.... well.
counting calories went out my window & i'm glad!!!


----------



## luvs

mikki, ugh, i hear ya!!! though i haven't inquired if you're married to my hubs. i don't own a hubs yet.
me & jake didn't marry just yet, we're saving to. lotsa people figure we married, cause we've dated 9 years.
thanks.


----------



## mikki

sorry luvs, maybe it was me thinking that jake sounds like my hubby. Either way they sound a lot alike. if you ever need to talk you can pm me.


----------



## luvs

thanks, mikki, don't hafta apologize.
luv, luvs (hugs)


----------



## jpmcgrew

As I have said before you are the master of your destiny. I have also said just because someone is blood like your dad, you do not need to take his comments seriously. You are doing fine as long as you are eating and not wasting away. I also now eat only when I'm hungry but in no way am I skinny and yet DH is always trying to make me eat at night when I do not want to. I also understand the need to be alone for a few days. I love a bit of solitude every now and it's my nature. I always have to tell DH look at me do I look like I'm starving? I'm at least 40 pounds or more then I need to be.So shut the heck up if I don't feel hungry I'm not hungry. As for me I usually like to eat during the day and not so much at night if anything. I sleep better but other times I eat very well at night I let my body and appetite tell me what I want to do. Sometimes although rarely I want cake or ice cream for dinner.


----------



## mikki

Cake? ice cream? , for dinner ????  That would be me!!!!!


----------



## expatgirl

luvs said:


> yeah, ex. thanks, dear.
> i'm not gonna call my Dad fer awhile, me & jake 'er fine now, we dined together, he brought me some bagsful of stuff i wanted, placed my decoration. me & him 'er fine. i'm not gonna starve over my Dad & i won't eat when i not hungry fer jake.
> i decided awhile ago my weight's gonna be my decision, & i let myself eat when i'm hungry, & made an excellent decision!!! my Dad can.... well.
> counting calories went out my window & i'm glad!!!




good  plan to me........


----------



## Barbara L

I agree.  Prayers going up for you luvs, as always.

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

so what are you going to do now, luvs?  Make a decision and don't be afraid........you don't have to tell us just make one.......we're behind you........


----------



## Alix

Minor vent on my part. 

I'm really tired of people behaving badly here and then complaining (either in PM or on other sites) about getting moderated/banned. I'm tired of people assuming things and making disparaging remarks. This is something we volunteer to do in our spare time (which some of us have precious little of) and when people get nasty it really ticks me off. And more on others behalf than my own. BAH! Ok, enough of that vent.

Slightly bigger vent. 

My Mom is not very well. This is her own choice (not taking meds) and even though I've tried to point out the dangers she has continued. She snips at me for doing anything to care for her, and then fawns all over ANYONE else who does anything for her. Thats not the vent part yet believe it or not. The frustration is that I am getting guilted/chastised for not doing things that Mom refuses to let me do. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Danged if I do, and danged if I don't.


----------



## kadesma

Alix said:


> Minor vent on my part.
> 
> I'm really tired of people behaving badly here and then complaining (either in PM or on other sites) about getting moderated/banned. I'm tired of people assuming things and making disparaging remarks. This is something we volunteer to do in our spare time (which some of us have precious little of) and when people get nasty it really ticks me off. And more on others behalf than my own. BAH! Ok, enough of that vent.
> 
> Slightly bigger vent.
> 
> My Mom is not very well. This is her own choice (not taking meds) and even though I've tried to point out the dangers she has continued. She snips at me for doing anything to care for her, and then fawns all over ANYONE else who does anything for her. Thats not the vent part yet believe it or not. The frustration is that I am getting guilted/chastised for not doing things that Mom refuses to let me do. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Danged if I do, and danged if I don't.


Alix, how well I know what you're going through..I had to care for my dad and did it gladly and at 90 lbs.It was a major work to pick him up and move him from place to place. But I did it and now I'm so glad..I had to grow a set of armor and find the best ear plugs made. I did it, but after I le someone have it but good..I didn't pick dad up right, I wasn't cooking right why was I letting him have all that junk he loved a Hamburger now and then or a hot dog and all that darn watermelon..So I asked the doctor and a nurse..They said give him ice cream if he wants it 4 times a day, Lord he is on his last legs, let him at least enjoy food..Then next time I got the song and dance, I handed the person after me dad's tray and said here I'm going away for 2 weeks, you take care of him OH and he has an appointment for a hair cut and a doctors appointment several in fact and he is planning a day in the park!! Amazing how fast we shut up and went home never to return..Poor dad missed my sister so much but I knew he appreciated what I was doing. When he was gone, my mom started to smoke again and it drove my sister nuts, she never came down hee for the last 3 years of my moms life, In a way I was glad she had dementia and couldn't remember, but it cut me to the quick when she would ask over and over where her baby was...So you grow a coat of armor and let mom ask for someone else, and give others the thank yous and in your heart you remember being her little girl and how she loved you and hold close what you've done because others just like you know and love you for what you ae doing.
cj


----------



## babetoo

alex, i think you do a great thankless job here. so thanks so much. 

babe


----------



## Alix

Thanks Babe. Its not really about me, just about crap said about others mostly. Gets me steamed. 

kadesma, thanks so much. I'm just so twisted in a swivet. My Mom has always been so independent and happy and full of joy. I know its been hard since Dad died but seeing her give up is making me mental.


----------



## kadesma

I know Alix,
I watched my mom go from a woman who loved to go go go, to one who would only go out once a week with us and some friends and even that became a long drawn out deal, just to get her ready and to even remember she was going out..I saw the same thing happed with he dad and so I knew what was coming..And believe me, it's hard, it gets to your last nerve and you have to bite your tongue and several times I didn't..So now there are nights where I think about what I said and cry myself to sleep..Don't let it get that bad for you ALix,take a break, walk away and let things immer, then you have nothing to cry about..You have already done more than most children do for their parents..You've got a lot to be proud of.
Bless you
cj


----------



## Barbara L

I really feel for you Alix.  Your mom is an adult and, as you know, you cannot make her take her medicines.  The ones who are criticizing you should put themselves in your shoes.  Unfortunately we, as humans, often feel we need someone to blame, and we don't like to blame someone who is suffering, so you are the one who is handy.  

Hugs and prayers,

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

Alix, dealing with someone's depression is the hardest thing that anyone will ever have to do.......you can't shake them out of it though you'd like to.......my heart and hugs go out to you.........you and the other mods are very much appreciated here....Your time is valuable and yet you volunteer to make this place a safe place to come to...I've visited a few other sites and the trolls are horrible and so is the language and the stabs in the back...it's a dog eat dog world....if people get banned they've been warned several times.......it's not like it came out of the blue.........I remember my first year here some smarm acting stupid like he was from the mideast (really hacked me off because I have many friends from there and I know how they talk)----he was mocking DC and I told him off and to leave and not come back (not me?).........you would have thought that would have been enough to kick me off but no, a firm though nice pm from one of the moderators came back saying that I couldn't do that.........no threats of expulsion, etc., just don't do it again........I listened..........so if people get thrown off they have been warned several times.........you can't force someone to take their meds unless you have legal control over them and they are in an assisted facility.......the suggestion to take one step away is a good one........you have tried.......that's all you can do even though it's killing you inside....all my hugs....debs


----------



## kitchenelf

Alix - people are crying out for you to do something to help her...but not really!  They are crying out because they want her to not be the way she is i.e., failing health.  They don't want to see her go downhill and they want YOU, unrealistically, to stop it.


----------



## miniman

Virtual hugs and prayers for you Alix - as Kadesma said, it is the people who do the looking after that are important rather than the ones who just talk about it (and can always do it better) but are not prepared to actally do the work.

We all appreciate and respect the work you do for your mum (and as a mod as well).


----------



## mikki

Alix- When my gram got sick, my mom couldn't do anything right. I could do the same thing the same way and my gram would thank me and be really appreciate it. One day I told her you know my is the one who told me what do do and how to do it, how come you don't thank her? She told me that, that is her daughter and it's what she is suppose to do, I was he granddaughter so it was not expected.
I told my gram that maybe it's what she is suppose to do, but not she didn't really have to, she could have put her in a nursing home and let other people look after her. I also told her that it hurt my moms feelings when she yelled at her all the time and thanked other people. She didn't realize what she was doing . A few days later she asked my mom to go to lunch with her as a thank you for all she does. After that they tried to go for lunch once a week and that was my moms thank you.
I feel for you and if people are asking why you didn't do this or that, just say it was lower on the priority list this time, but when it needs to be done next time I'll be sure to give you a call.


----------



## expatgirl

Good for you...........Mikki.........not that your gram is going to appreciate it but everyone else here will


----------



## texasgirl

All you mods are the greatest and anyone with a problem doesn't need to be here anyway!!


----------



## Barbara L

That was great of you to stand up for your mom that way mikki!



texasgirl said:


> All you mods are the greatest and anyone with a problem doesn't need to be here anyway!!


BAN THE FIENDS!!!!!   (Thanks Stacy!).

Barbara


----------



## kadesma

This is so trivial, it's stupid, and those who know me know it fits I decided to make some 5 min bread, we love it so i get things ready, everything is going just fine..I open the oven insert pan of water and decide it needs a tad more..That's right I had to snorkel to get the mop and some towels .My poor DH  heard me yelling every truck diver curse I knew and came running thinking I was hurt we both ended up sitting on the floor getting wet and howling...All is mopped up now and I'm here sharing this drivel with you..learn a lesson from ol dummy here: put pan in oven and then pull out the rack with pan on it and add you water..Works every time

kades


----------



## suziquzie

LOL kades you dear little thing!
what did you say, darn? shoot? crud? 
I can't imagine anything trucker outta that mouth, and I own a trucker! 

hey.... now your kitchen floor is sanitized enough to eat off of, right?


----------



## kadesma

The floor sparkles, the bread is great..and I have 2 grown sons that I've heard  cuss when they didn't know mom was around..But really it was a  high pitched Something that I only do  if really ticked off

kades


----------



## pdswife

lolol.. yeah... kades and a truckers mouth just don't go together!!


----------



## LPBeier

Kades, You actually get ticked off enough to swear?  Seriously, I am glad it wasn't more seious than that and that you have magnificent bread to show for your efforts!  Thanks for the laugh!


----------



## expatgirl

I used to have a guy come and clean my house and he was never more shocked than the day I stepped in kitty poo under the Christmas tree............he worked for a friend of mine and told her how mad I was and the shocking language I used............"she was really really mad"  was his description of my foul disposition.....I normally don't curse in front of others but I was too mad that day............. it's a good thing that cat was outta sight


----------



## expatgirl

LPBeier said:


> Kades, You actually get ticked off enough to swear?  Seriously, I am glad it wasn't more seious than that and that you have magnificent bread to show for your efforts!  Thanks for the laugh!


  good for you, Kade, I'm glad to know that you're human.......swear away........love ya..........debs


----------



## Claire

Dealing with aging parents or friends is one of the more difficult trials we have.  Mom has been very good (since I live in IL and she in FL, my sisters pretty much do everything, she is doing good and she and Dad live quite well on their own, she jokes that she saves me for the worst).  But I have a couple of freinds here who still live on their own in their late 70s.  I often find myself a go-between for them and their relatives, and find myself explaining a bit of life for them.  Luckily they are both very intelligent, very well educated women who really are trying to keep their minds active.  But I still find myself getting one to eat enough (she simply does not understand why she has to eat).  My own mother, who knows them by proxy and has one heck of a time with food (cancer of the upper intestine) actually sends me messages to give this woman ... who she's never met!  "If I can eat, you can eat!!"


----------



## expatgirl

how many of you youngsters like Neil Diamond.........he rocks my boat...........that man is going to outlast me.........


----------



## In the Kitchen

Alix said:


> Minor vent on my part.
> 
> I'm really tired of people behaving badly here and then complaining (either in PM or on other sites) about getting moderated/banned. I'm tired of people assuming things and making disparaging remarks. This is something we volunteer to do in our spare time (which some of us have precious little of) and when people get nasty it really ticks me off. And more on others behalf than my own. BAH! Ok, enough of that vent.
> 
> Slightly bigger vent.
> 
> My Mom is not very well. This is her own choice (not taking meds) and even though I've tried to point out the dangers she has continued. She snips at me for doing anything to care for her, and then fawns all over ANYONE else who does anything for her. Thats not the vent part yet believe it or not. The frustration is that I am getting guilted/chastised for not doing things that Mom refuses to let me do. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Danged if I do, and danged if I don't.



Alix,
Do not like to say it, 'been there, done that'.  first my mother now my brothers, One thing I didn't know, after we grow up, we become our own individual.  We do thing the way WE want, the way WE can, and NO one tells us differently.  I had to realize, no matter what I wanted for her/him, I can't instill that into their brain.  If THEY want they can give up.  Regardless of what it is.  Bible says, we become like children.  Is this what that means? Or could it be all this durn medication that makes our brains go haywire?   We want our own way.  It is very hard to accept when you love someone so much.  WE are all individuals, regardless of being related no two people think alike.  My brothers are now being that way and I do have to let go and let God. Trying to MAKE them do something is not easy. Don't we always hurt the ones we love?  She is doing just that.  The best medicine for my mother were friends who cared.  Not what I said.  Her whole demeanor changed whenever some people from church would come to visit.  If only that happened regular basis, would have been easier for me.

Only advice I can give, is what I do regular basis is try to treat them with love and respect.  Just look at life from her side.  Old age is not for sissies. i am praying that if I do live longer I will try to understand and cooperate with anyone who cares.


----------



## expatgirl

In the Kitchen said:


> Alix,
> Do not like to say it, 'been there, done that'.  first my mother now my brothers, One thing I didn't know, after we grow up, we become our own individual.  We do thing the way WE want, the way WE can, and NO one tells us differently.  I had to realize, no matter what I wanted for her/him, I can't instill that into their brain.  If THEY want they can give up.  Regardless of what it is.  Bible says, we become like children.  Is this what that means? Or could it be all this durn medication that makes our brains go haywire?   We want our own way.  It is very hard to accept when you love someone so much.  WE are all individuals, regardless of being related no two people think alike.  My brothers are now being that way and I do have to let go and let God. Trying to MAKE them do something is not easy. Don't we always hurt the ones we love?  She is doing just that.  The best medicine for my mother were friends who cared.  Not what I said.  Her whole demeanor changed whenever some people from church would come to visit.  If only that happened regular basis, would have been easier for me.
> 
> Only advice I can give, is what I do regular basis is try to treat them with love and respect.  Just look at life from her side.  Old age is not for sissies. i am praying that if I do live longer I will try to understand and cooperate with anyone who cares.


  Just curious....how old are you???


----------



## LPBeier

expatgirl said:


> how many of you youngsters like Neil Diamond.........he rocks my boat...........that man is going to outlast me.........



I have had a crush on him since I was 8 (His early days - Cherry, Cherry, Shilo)!  Yes, DH knows about it. 

I actually saw him in concert 7 times, once even driving all the way to Tacoma Washington!  It would have been more times but I didn't find out about a few of the concerts until it was to late.


----------



## pdswife

He's one of my favorites too.
I love his music but...I've only been lucky enough to see two of his concerts.

Shilo...is my favorite song!!


----------



## texasgirl

ok, so, dh is a manager of an rv park. a couple that has been there about 10 years has a rotteweiler that barks and growls at everyone. It has never bit anyone, but, scares everyone, so, they were told never to bring it back, as they are just weekenders and don't live there. Well, they brought it back and dh went to tell them not to bring it back. The old man, VERY sweet old man, said, look, he's never  bitten anyone, jsut come here, so, dh goes over to the dog and it just looks at him, the mand said look, just pet him, he WILL NOT bite, I would not tell you to if I even THOUGHT he would, so, dh goes to pet him and GUESS WHAT. DH is not at the dr with 2 punctures and a tear about 2-3 inches on the inside of his thumb, where that muscle is. Looks like ground up fat!! omg, dh has never been bitten before and he loves animals so much. It looks awful and I'm sure, he will get stiches because of how deep it is. I am so ANGRY!!! The man broke down crying and kept appologizing to dh.
The son, on the other hand, was yelling and cussing at dh for telling them to get it out and never bring it back. This is a 30 something guy that is in a wheelchair and is so addicted to pain killers, he sits there and stares at he sky. I just want to got and knock him to the ground, crippled or not, I'm sorry. He is abusive to his mom and dad and anyone around him. And the man has the beginnings of Alzheimers too, poor soul!! The son and wife both treat him like crap. I hate for him to be so guilty feeling. It's not his fault, I blame the wife and son!!


----------



## LEFSElover

venting over these blinkity blank credit company's I used to do my crowns back almost a year ago.  They've both overcharged me and expect me to pay the total they have which is hundreds off in both instances, and then ask for a refund and hope to get it. So, out of pocket and then hope?  I think not!!!!!!!!!!aaaaaaaaaaaAArgh!


----------



## texasgirl

OMG, I am so sick to my stomach. I am so glad that he didn't squat down, as he normally does, when meeting a new animal. I am scared to even think of the outcome.
Dr said, the wound was almost all the way through his hand. Just missed the nerve, thank god!! He is right handed and that is the hand that is torn up. Dr said that he is very lucky to still have use of it as bad as the tear is. Was unable to close it completely, needs to drain. He had to get shots in it and a tetnus and high dose of antibiotics and is having to take more antibiotics that is costing $180!! total so far, Just under $600 for the day
I gripe about my MIL, but, if it weren't for her, he wouldn't have been seen at all. She is paying for it all. DH hasn't received his paycheck for the month and me being unemployed, well, she saved him today, probably literally if he had gotten infected. So, he goes back Friday to have it checked for infection. I have been sick since hearing it and seeing it. This man loves animals, as much as me, even if he won't let me have more


----------



## jpmcgrew

texasgirl said:


> OMG, I am so sick to my stomach. I am so glad that he didn't squat down, as he normally does, when meeting a new animal. I am scared to even think of the outcome.
> Dr said, the wound was almost all the way through his hand. Just missed the nerve, thank god!! He is right handed and that is the hand that is torn up. Dr said that he is very lucky to still have use of it as bad as the tear is. Was unable to close it completely, needs to drain. He had to get shots in it and a tetnus and high dose of antibiotics and is having to take more antibiotics that is costing $180!! total so far, Just under $600 for the day
> I gripe about my MIL, but, if it weren't for her, he wouldn't have been seen at all. She is paying for it all. DH hasn't received his paycheck for the month and me being unemployed, well, she saved him today, probably literally if he had gotten infected. So, he goes back Friday to have it checked for infection. I have been sick since hearing it and seeing it. This man loves animals, as much as me, even if he won't let me have more


 
 Hey wait a minute. Shouldn't the people that own the dog pay for it?


----------



## texasgirl

right,but, they had already left, so, mil paid. BUT, we just filed a report with our dpt here and we will be able to file civil suit if it gets to that, but, I don't think it will, once I tell her that they will pay all court costs also. My dh, he's in a lot of pain and no pain meds.


----------



## kadesma

jpmcgrew said:


> Hey wait a minute. Shouldn't the people that own the dog pay for it?


yep, but good luck with that!!!!
kades


----------



## kadesma

Stacy,
this is why, I could knock heads with people who deliberatley  breed dogs to fight..A dog is a dog no matter how much we love them..The poor dog will most likely be put down..He just did what was expected of him..I bet you anything that dog is a fighter..I'm so sorry about Michael and even though M-i-l bugs the heck out of ya, I have never in my life seen one who denies her baby help no matter his age..Relax for now and take care of Michael It will all fall into place  Hugs to all of you
cj


----------



## luvs

student loans!!!


----------



## suziquzie

I'm sorry for your DH, TG..... 
never been bitten but it sounds just horrible, I cant imagine what you're going thru...
I hope everything will turn out as best it can.


----------



## miniman

Here are prayers for quick and good healing of the hand TG


----------



## texasgirl

kadesma said:


> Stacy,
> this is why, I could knock heads with people who deliberatley breed dogs to fight..A dog is a dog no matter how much we love them..The poor dog will most likely be put down..He just did what was expected of him..I bet you anything that dog is a fighter..I'm so sorry about Michael and even though M-i-l bugs the heck out of ya, I have never in my life seen one who denies her baby help no matter his age..Relax for now and take care of Michael It will all fall into place Hugs to all of you
> cj


 
This is sadly, true. But, they brought the dog to a public RV park after being told NOT to bring it back after it lunged at a lady and her dog. It has never bitten anyone, until now. They are very nice people and we have already told the cops that we do not want to press charges, we just want to make sure the dog had it's shots that they need to help with the med bills. DH is feeling bad for even having to call the cops, but, we need to, BEFORE, it's a kid next time
And you're right about MIL, she just holds it over us forever

Thanks mini and suzi!

See, he'll survive, just hurts like the dickens!! lol


----------



## babetoo

that looks very painful. get healed soon.


----------



## kadesma

Oh Stacy, I'm sorry give Michael a big hug for me..That really looks bad.
cj


----------



## expatgirl

omg........if he doesn't have nerve damage I will be very much surprised.........that's nasty looking........I have weird feelings in both my right and left hands from knife cuts.......... and they didn't look like his.........


----------



## texasgirl

No nerve damage. Dr said ALMOST, lol
He'll live though. lol

how in the world did you get knife cuts woman?


----------



## expatgirl

well i'm glad to hear that..........cause I do have nerve damage.......


----------



## LPBeier

Stacy, my prayers go out to you and your DH.  I have been bitten and it is one of the worst things in the world.

LEFSE, prayers to you as well as you fight the system regarding your teeth.  Been there too and it is not pleasant.

Luvs, Student loans are no picnic.  I was so thankful when I didn't need to get one because we used some of the proceeds from the sale of our internet business to pay for culinary school.  But the thought of a student loan is keeping my DH from retraining and it saddens me.


----------



## In the Kitchen

expatgirl said:


> Just curious....how old are you???




You had to ask, so I will let you know I am close to 60.  does that really make a difference?  How old are you?  Maybe I could be your grandma.


----------



## In the Kitchen

LPBeier said:


> I have had a crush on him since I was 8 (His early days - Cherry, Cherry, Shilo)!  Yes, DH knows about it.
> 
> I actually saw him in concert 7 times, once even driving all the way to Tacoma Washington!  It would have been more times but I didn't find out about a few of the concerts until it was to late.



Got to tell you that everyone says my one son favors him.  I can't tell it at all but then when more than one person will say it must be so.  Now if only he could sing like he does.  Been around long time.


----------



## expatgirl

In the Kitchen said:


> You had to ask, so I will let you know I am close to 60.  does that really make a difference?  How old are you?  Maybe I could be your grandma.


  nope you are wrong........I'm 55.....so a younger sister maybe.......


----------



## expatgirl

please don't be offended, In the Kitchen,   yeah, I do like to know people's ages esp. uf they are sounding like a breath of fresh air............which you did............


----------



## Bilby

Stacy I hope your DH gets better soon and the situation is resolved as simply as possible. You don't need more headaches.


----------



## In the Kitchen

expatgirl said:


> please don't be offended, In the Kitchen,   yeah, I do like to know people's ages esp. uf they are sounding like a breath of fresh air............which you did............



you made my day begin with real joy.  Not often people express their opinion especially ones that are complimentary.  When anyone I meet makes positive comment, I always tell them to continue to do so as it has such a wonderful effect.  

I admit I am sensitive.  I really feel more so since I have experienced life of rejection most of my life.  Makes one doubtful of others and their judgement of  you.  Every time I meet new person, I always hope I will make them feel better about themselves in some small way.  Really no room in this world to be mean.  

Ok sis, I said what's on my mind.  Hope you don't take offense and don't get too serious on me.  Have beautiful day cause you certainly made mine great!  Oh, thanks for your kindness; don't lose it!


----------



## texasgirl

ITK, you do the same for everyone on a daily basis!! You are a kind lady that it would be VERY hard to take offence to anything you said. Don't let ANYONE, tell you any different!!


----------



## In the Kitchen

Well, you make my day too texasgirl, always.  You are only person that if you said something unkind I would want to jump off the bridge.  I thank you and am always hoping things go good in your day.  You always mean so well for everybody.  Take care of yourself, we need you!


----------



## expatgirl

In the Kitchen said:


> you made my day begin with real joy.  Not often people express their opinion especially ones that are complimentary.  When anyone I meet makes positive comment, I always tell them to continue to do so as it has such a wonderful effect.
> 
> I admit I am sensitive.  I really feel more so since I have experienced life of rejection most of my life.  Makes one doubtful of others and their judgement of  you.  Every time I meet new person, I always hope I will make them feel better about themselves in some small way.  Really no room in this world to be mean.
> 
> Ok sis, I said what's on my mind.  Hope you don't take offense and don't get too serious on me.  Have beautiful day cause you certainly made mine great!  Oh, thanks for your kindness; don't lose it!


  No, Sis, I didn't take offense at all.......and no I won't lose it.......I'm too cute.......  love and hugs...........


----------



## Alix

TG, my knees are weak thinking about that dog bite. Thank God he's OK. Saying prayers here for a swift recovery. UGH!


----------



## texasgirl

Alix said:


> TG, my knees are weak thinking about that dog bite. Thank God he's OK. Saying prayers here for a swift recovery. UGH!


 
It makes me sick looking at it!! He was up all night in pain! why is it, guys think they don't need pain killers? i got some today though!! 
I'm just watching to make sure it doesn't get infected, which, I doubt very seriously it will with all those anitbiotics running rampid through him! LOL


----------



## jpmcgrew

texasgirl said:


> It makes me sick looking at it!! He was up all night in pain! why is it, guys think they don't need pain killers? i got some today though!!
> I'm just watching to make sure it doesn't get infected, which, I doubt very seriously it will with all those anitbiotics running rampid through him! LOL


 
 He could at least take some Aleve it's good stuff. Why be in pain when you don't have to be?  It's gonna hurt a lot longer than he thinks.


----------



## mikki

Guys think if they go without pain meds or any other type of meds it makes them look stronger. Then they whine because it hurts or they don't feel good. My hubby thinks I'm cold hearted because I don't baby him. I tell him if he doesn't want to take anything I don't want to hear it.


----------



## Barbara L

Reading over the last couple days of posts here, all I can think is "OUCH!"  Prayers for all who are hurting one way or another.

Barbara


----------



## pdswife

Ouch is right!!  Keep well everyone!!!!


----------



## expatgirl

they're manly men...........they don't need pain medications........me heap big man........no need pain killers.........but I will groan all night and keep squaw awake and worried about me........hahaha


----------



## babetoo

mikki said:


> Guys think if they go without pain meds or any other type of meds it makes them look stronger. Then they whine because it hurts or they don't feel good. My hubby thinks I'm cold hearted because I don't baby him. I tell him if he doesn't want to take anything I don't want to hear it.


 
be careful with this attitude. i did same thing to ex husband. complain, complain, about indigestion . i said shut up or go to e.r. he did and was having a heart attack. sometimes they don't know what is wrong with them. you are right though , if they choose not to take anything, then they shouldn't complain.


----------



## Barbara L

expatgirl said:


> they're manly men...........they don't need pain medications........me heap big man........no need pain killers.........but I will groan all night and keep squaw awake and worried about me........hahaha


And have you noticed they whine and groan louder if they think you didn't hear them?

Barbara


----------



## kadesma

Barbara L said:


> And have you noticed they whine and groan louder if they think you didn't hear them?
> 
> Barbara


Mine won't even let me know when something is wrong..Yet his nose is in all my tests, he pushes in when we see the doctor at the center.It makes me crazy..I know now he is having trouble with his bilirubin it's twice what it should be..Think he will tell me what his doc said..Nope..So he is getting a great big surprise on the 6tht..He is not being allowed in the room to talk with the doctor and I intend to be silent on the way home...This is going to be resolved or else!!!
kadesma


----------



## Barbara L

James and I both see the same doctor, and we usually go in with the other.  I like him to come in with me because I don't always remember everything the doctor says (especially if I don't feel well), and he does.  In fact, we usually make our appointments together.  

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

I remember my husband last year bellyaching cause I scheduled him for a colonoscopy.......oh you're a hypochondriac (well he's right ) anyway I went to a lot of trouble to get him scheduled.......people are finally listening.......and the Dr.s are way backed up trying to schedule them.......they really didn't want to do it until the doctor saw him..... I pleaded.........please he only has two weeks here and he's 55 and I promise that I'll deliver him personally ...so they reluctantly agreed.......and guess what.......they found a precancerous lesion.......I asked how long it would have been until it turned into actual cancer and the nurse said 8 years........this is why this is such an unnecessary disease to die from.........the Doc said that if any family member has had colon cancer that you should be examined 10 years before the date of their cancer found........


----------



## expatgirl

Barbara L said:


> And have you noticed they whine and groan louder if they think you didn't hear them?
> 
> Barbara



my hubby could win an academy award for the pained expressions that he makes..........


----------



## In the Kitchen

Not being able to sleep for too many reasons, I read your post texasgirl and feel so sorry.  Being an animal lover the way you are this is certainly going to make difference with your husband.  

My one brother was such a dog person.  He was until he had same thing happen to him just last year.  Tried to put rotweiler back into neighbor's yard and as he was closing gate, dog jumped up and bit him in the arm, had to have 7-8 stitches, just when I wasn't home.  Neighbor had to rush him to ER as it was bleeding so much. Today, when he sees strange dog he won't try to get near him as i can actually see he is scared. How this changed his feeling for animals is complete turnaround from way he was.  My neighbor has this kind of dog and when he gets into our yard, the neighbor tells me that the dog won't bite.  After reading this, I know better. Has dobermans too. 

texasgirl, I am praying that all will go well with your husband That wound will heal without any problem.  I am so sorry and know that he meant well for all concerned.  I am sure these people hopefully will learn that this dog is a weapon for all who come near.  The dog did this while the owners were around.  That is even worse.


----------



## LeeAnn

I understand about being an animal lover, but....the fact still remains that the dog bit your husband, and he will bite again - or worse.  It doesn't even matter if the dog has not been specifically bred for fighting, it's in his genes regardless of how much he apparently loves his owners and hadn't bitten anyone "yet".  He has bitten someone "now".  I don't know what the laws are where you are at but the dog needs to be put to sleep.  
I work in the emergency room at our local hospital and we had an 8 year old boy in 2 evenings ago with severe dog bites all over his face, neck and upper body.  He was brought in by ambulance with his dad, when the ambulance/police got to the boy and his dad, his dad was cradling him in his arms, blood everywhere, the boy obviously screaming and in pain.  This could be the "first time" this dog ever bit someone also, or he could be someones very loving pet that hadn't ever bitten "before".  It still remains that someone is going to get hurt again, and maybe next time it won't come out as well as it has so far.  Your husband has an injury that he didn't have before.  It's not the dogs fault, it's the owners who don't know their dog well enough who put your husband in danger and now others will be in danger also.

Sorry to seem like such a downer, but peoples lives are worth more than the animals, regardless of how much of an animal lover someone is.


----------



## expatgirl

my sister-in-law's lab bit a boy that she was babysitting........thank goodness the person didn't sue her..........but when he bit her own 3 year old son and nearly missed his eye by half an inch she realized that she had to put Jake down........he always got so nervous when there was bad weather and Corpus gets bad weather a lot.......to this day my nephew isn't too keen to be around strange dogs


----------



## mikki

babe- I don't usually say that kind of thing if it's something out of the ordinary, mostly cold, flu symptoms, or if something hurts and I tell him to go to the dr and get it checked he refuses. You also have to know hubby, he has to have all the attention. 
A few weeks ago DD woke up and couldn't breath because of allergies,I called Dr got her inhaler and nasal spay back, it helped during normal activities,but she ran for soccer and couldn't catch her breath so coach called 911. Anyway At the same time hubby got congested, complained how bad he felt and that he couldn't breath, wouldn't take anything, but still complained that he was worse then my DD or I was. Everything is always worse for him. DD gets sent to hospital,tells her shes a wimp and then complains he's worse.
That's why I get an attitude with him.


----------



## expatgirl

my daughter played lacrosse in high school and she would get very breathless with all the running in the game and we had an inhaler for her.........but I always suspected mitral valve prolapse........both my hubby and I have it.........sure enough when she started to pass out.........the doctor ran an  echocardiogram on her and that's what it was........darn, I should have been a Doc.........


----------



## texasgirl

Hubby is getting better. Went to dr again yesterday, it's healing wonderfully. Police have a copy of shots, so, dh won't be foaming at the mouth, although, his growling has been worse, lol, j/k
I told the police, where they live, what happened and how it happened. I don't think they are going to do anything about it, sadly. When dh pet the dog, he was laying there with his tongue out panting, not growling, barking or no sign of aggression at all. When dh touched his head, he just jerked his head around and bit him and that was it. The owners are nice, but, so very very ignorant!! MIL said the dog is the master, not them. They do what the dog wants. Noone there can control it or hold onto it either. Although it has never bitten, it HAS lunged at a few people, one being an elderly lady and her little poodle that were riding around the park on her golf cart. Someone happened to be there and grabbed its lead when the son was unable to hold it. I pray that this dog is put down, because, they talk about how their grandkids hug and play "on" this dog. I get sick just thinking about it. DH told them, "Don't let that dog near ANYONE, especially kids or you're dumber than I thought"! AMEN!!


----------



## texasgirl

expatgirl said:


> my daughter played lacrosse in high school and she would get very breathless with all the running in the game and we had an inhaler for her.........but I always suspected mitral valve prolapse........both my hubby and I have it.........sure enough when she started to pass out.........the doctor ran an echocardiogram on her and that's what it was........darn, I should have been a Doc.........


 
OMG, that must have been scary for you!! I was scared to death when my oldest was in ICU when 5 from asthma. I will never forget that little tiny guy fighting for his life with tubes, bigger than he was, running all around him. I'm glad you thought of it and got her in to be seen, good for you!!


----------



## texasgirl

Well, oldest son is stuck in Baton Rouge, La, due to the fact that not 1, but 2 crew leaders, took their money and ran!!!
He is stuck there, noway home!! The guy he went with has no gas and the tires are bald and they can't come home!! no food, nothing
They go down there to help someone while making a little money and they get screwed!! I don't know what to do. Anyone have suggestions?


----------



## jpmcgrew

texasgirl said:


> Hubby is getting better. Went to dr again yesterday, it's healing wonderfully. Police have a copy of shots, so, dh won't be foaming at the mouth, although, his growling has been worse, lol, j/k
> I told the police, where they live, what happened and how it happened. I don't think they are going to do anything about it, sadly. When dh pet the dog, he was laying there with his tongue out panting, not growling, barking or no sign of aggression at all. When dh touched his head, he just jerked his head around and bit him and that was it. The owners are nice, but, so very very ignorant!! MIL said the dog is the master, not them. They do what the dog wants. Noone there can control it or hold onto it either. Although it has never bitten, it HAS lunged at a few people, one being an elderly lady and her little poodle that were riding around the park on her golf cart. Someone happened to be there and grabbed its lead when the son was unable to hold it. I pray that this dog is put down,
> because, they talk about how their grandkids hug and play "on" this dog. I get sick just thinking about it. DH told them, "Don't let that dog near ANYONE, especially kids or you're dumber than I thought"! AMEN!!


 
 Thats the problem when people cater to their dog and let them do what they want. I love all my dogs and cats and they are spoiled to no end but they all know who the real boss is, ME. Dogs really do want someone to be the alpha to be the boss, they like to know what they are supposed to do or not do. Now on the other hand DH has been a bit harder to train he knows who the boss is but tries to test me once in a while. 
I also have a theory that dogs are only as good as their owners if we are kind and caring/ peaceful the dogs are the same if we are fighting and defensive and theres negative vibes the dogs will be then be that way.


----------



## jpmcgrew

texasgirl said:


> Well, oldest son is stuck in Baton Rouge, La, due to the fact that not 1, but 2 crew leaders, took their money and ran!!!
> He is stuck there, noway home!! The guy he went with has no gas and the tires are bald and they can't come home!! no food, nothing
> They go down there to help someone while making a little money and they get screwed!! I don't know what to do. Anyone have suggestions?


 
 Perhaps they could go to a local church or churches explain their situation and get some help as far as food and gas money and maybe some used but better tires. Another option is to go to or call the local news paper or TV station and tell their story and expose these guys and maybe get the law to go after the crew leaders and the so called company.


----------



## texasgirl

From the looks of the mail, there are many names that mail is sent to there. He doesn't know the guys real name now. I am going to find him again and tell him about the church though.




jpmcgrew said:


> Perhaps they could go to a local church or churches explain their situation and get some help as far as food and gas money and maybe some used but better tires. Another option is to go to or call the local news paper or TV station and tell their story and expose these guys and maybe get the law to go after the crew leaders and the so called company.


----------



## luvs

mikki said:


> babe- I don't usually say that kind of thing if it's something out of the ordinary, mostly cold, flu symptoms, or if something hurts and I tell him to go to the dr and get it checked he refuses. You also have to know hubby, he has to have all the attention.
> A few weeks ago DD woke up and couldn't breath because of allergies,I called Dr got her inhaler and nasal spay back, it helped during normal activities,but she ran for soccer and couldn't catch her breath so coach called 911. Anyway At the same time hubby got congested, complained how bad he felt and that he couldn't breath, wouldn't take anything, but still complained that he was worse then my DD or I was. Everything is always worse for him. DD gets sent to hospital,tells her shes a wimp and then complains he's worse.
> That's why I get an attitude with him.


 
that doesn't sound too great, mikki.


----------



## luvs

& tex, catholic charities may offer them $$


----------



## pdswife

TG... can you send him some cash...?   You might have to


----------



## jpmcgrew

texasgirl said:


> From the looks of the mail, there are many names that mail is sent to there. He doesn't know the guys real name now. I am going to find him again and tell him about the church though.


 
 I'm sure if they contact the media they will get some help from the public as well, they need to expose these guys so it wont happen again.


----------



## texasgirl

I don't even know where in Baton Rouge he is. He has no clue what the guys real name is now.

NO, T, I can't send him money. I'm unemployed and I dont have it right now, but, dh won't help him anymore because he keeps getting himself in trouble and we get him out each time.


----------



## babetoo

mikki said:


> babe- I don't usually say that kind of thing if it's something out of the ordinary, mostly cold, flu symptoms, or if something hurts and I tell him to go to the dr and get it checked he refuses. You also have to know hubby, he has to have all the attention.
> A few weeks ago DD woke up and couldn't breath because of allergies,I called Dr got her inhaler and nasal spay back, it helped during normal activities,but she ran for soccer and couldn't catch her breath so coach called 911. Anyway At the same time hubby got congested, complained how bad he felt and that he couldn't breath, wouldn't take anything, but still complained that he was worse then my DD or I was. Everything is always worse for him. DD gets sent to hospital,tells her shes a wimp and then complains he's worse.
> That's why I get an attitude with him.


 
you misunderstood my comment on attitude. i wasn't saying you weren't right. just telling you what happened. ex was grown man, he should have know to go without me telling him. i got him anti acids etc for over five hours. he should have gone with no prompting on my part. was just being an idiot and only hurt himself. we were only bout three blocks from er room, so i didn't see the big deal in going. maybe i am not still explaining it right, but i felt no guilt at all. neither should you.


----------



## Callisto in NC

This is still the venting thread, right because I just want to slap someone NOW.

I work for a company that week in and week out worries about making payroll and no one thinks about this when they go out and buy jet skis and snow mobiles and DVD players and all this other stuff. It is ridiculous. 

NOW my "boss" wants me to show her computer tricks that I know for my benefit. These are things I learned after years of working on the computer and she expects me just to teach her all my tricks. NO!! Sorry, not happening. You want to learn, take a class. I'm here for Marty, not you El Diablo.


----------



## QSis

Callisto in NC said:


> This is still the venting thread, right because I just want to slap someone NOW.
> 
> I work for a company that week in and week out worries about making payroll and no one thinks about this when they go out and buy jet skis and snow mobiles and DVD players and all this other stuff. It is ridiculous.
> 
> NOW my "boss" wants me to show her computer tricks that I know for my benefit. These are things I learned after years of working on the computer and she expects me just to teach her all my tricks. NO!! Sorry, not happening. You want to learn, take a class. I'm here for Marty, not you El Diablo.


 
I'll make a deal with you, Callisto: you come over here and slap my boss (for similar offenses) and I'll go slap yours. 

Lee


----------



## Callisto in NC

QSis said:


> I'll make a deal with you, Callisto: you come over here and slap my boss (for similar offenses) and I'll go slap yours.
> 
> Lee


I do have guys up in the Boston area that would likely be willing to oblige.


----------



## love2"Q"

not sure if this is a vent .. but have $25,000 worth of butcher block 
counter tops showing up this friday .. the tops that i templated 
and signed off on ... sure hope they are right .. might work on 
my resume` just in case ..


----------



## LeeAnn

My vent today is a lady I work with - she absolutely hates "west coast people" and has added it to her personal agenda each day to make that known to me each time she sees me.  She will say things like - "oh, is _that _how they dress on the west coast?", or "who told you that was cute?", or - "can I tell you something or do I need to get a translator that speaks slow laid back lazy west coast speech?".  
I've told my supervisor that honestly I'm very tired of her attitude towards me and she said it's just a control thing with her - the lady retires in April and to not take it personally, she's just jealous.  But my counter is why she should be allowed - and why should I have to listen to that - just because she's going to retire soon?  What gives her the right other than her own personal bitter woman problems to pick on me?  
Pdswife is the only one that knows me here and knows that I would never argue with this woman or say anything mean to her because it's just not "me".  But the woman seems to go out of her way to come and make a crappy comment to me.  
I am off work til Saturday and she will be back on Monday, if she says anything at all to me, I've decided I will go to the Union board.  
Anyway, that's all.    Thanks for listening (reading).


----------



## suziquzie

LeeAnn that's miserable, I can't believe it's ok w/ your boss to make you put  up with that crap. 
You're doing the right thing going to the board. 
Good luck!


----------



## Callisto in NC

LeeAnn said:


> My vent today is a lady I work with - she absolutely hates "west coast people" and has added it to her personal agenda each day to make that known to me each time she sees me.  She will say things like - "oh, is _that _how they dress on the west coast?", or "who told you that was cute?", or - "can I tell you something or do I need to get a translator that speaks slow laid back lazy west coast speech?".
> I've told my supervisor that honestly I'm very tired of her attitude towards me and she said it's just a control thing with her - the lady retires in April and to not take it personally, she's just jealous.  But my counter is why she should be allowed - and why should I have to listen to that - just because she's going to retire soon?  What gives her the right other than her own personal bitter woman problems to pick on me?
> Pdswife is the only one that knows me here and knows that I would never argue with this woman or say anything mean to her because it's just not "me".  But the woman seems to go out of her way to come and make a crappy comment to me.
> I am off work til Saturday and she will be back on Monday, if she says anything at all to me, I've decided I will go to the Union board.
> Anyway, that's all.    Thanks for listening (reading).


First off, she's obviously ignorant on two levels.  One would be on what "west coast people" are actually like.  Where I was from on the west coast we talked far faster than anything I've encountered on the east coast.  In the south I've often wondered if some people have a fast forward button so I can speed them up.  Second ~ she's oblivious to the fact that she could be jeopardizing her retirement by harassing you.  Harassment is not just sexual in nature.  It's anything done to "put you down" or "put you in your place" in a non-professional way or by a non-supervisor.  I would document your report to your supervisor and if nothing is done, escalate it.  You should not be treated like that.  If you are in a union, you pay your dues, get your money's worth.


----------



## pdswife

I happen to like WestCoast people! 

LeeAnn Stick up for yourself!!   Give it back to her!  I know you can do it!


----------



## Barbara L

I agree with the others LeeAnn.  If she says one more thing, definitely go to the union board.  In fact, after what your supervisor said, maybe you should anyway.  

Barbara


----------



## suziquzie

I've worked the last 5 days in a row. I was only going to work 4 days a week but they have been having "personnell" issues so I have been picking up a 5th day.... I cannot find it in myself to say no when they need help and I need money....
Anyway, I was going to have today thru friday off.... 3 days, finally. But I picked up tomorrow. 
My vent is thatI had so many things I was going to get done around here today and did absolutely nothing of value besides dishes a few loads of laundry..... not folded. 
I cannot muster up anything to do anything useful. I feel like an alien in my own home today, and now I have to go back to work tomorrow. 
I did need the time to just hang out with DH a bit, but I was hoping to at least multi-task. Now I feel like a big slob with a messy house, and I'll probably end up cleaning like a mad woman after dinner instead of chillin' with the kids. 
AAARRRRRRGGGGHH!


----------



## pdswife

Suzi, you spent time with me!  Ya made me feel better about my bad day!  Ya did good!!  Thank you!!!!


----------



## suziquzie

oh thank you! 
now if you would please come kick my butt into clean mode, I'd gladly brown some onions for you!


----------



## pdswife

Remember FREAKY FRIDAY?  Wouldn't it be cool if we could change lives just for a few days?    Wouldn't we both realize how good we really have it?


----------



## suziquzie

ok...... I'lll start running west...... 
BANG!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

suziquzie said:


> I've worked the last 5 days in a row. I was only going to work 4 days a week but they have been having "personnell" issues so I have been picking up a 5th day.... I cannot find it in myself to say no when they need help and I need money....
> Anyway, I was going to have today thru friday off.... 3 days, finally. But I picked up tomorrow.
> My vent is thatI had so many things I was going to get done around here today and did absolutely nothing of value besides dishes a few loads of laundry..... not folded.
> I cannot muster up anything to do anything useful. I feel like an alien in my own home today, and now I have to go back to work tomorrow.
> I did need the time to just hang out with DH a bit, but I was hoping to at least multi-task. Now I feel like a big slob with a messy house, and I'll probably end up cleaning like a mad woman after dinner instead of chillin' with the kids.
> AAARRRRRRGGGGHH!


Suzie, you need to cut yourself some serious slack, girlfriend! Take it from a woman who has raised a lot of kids. There have been many years that I felt like a slob and my house was messy. It bothered me because I thought I wasn't a good mom or wife if my house was perpetually messy. But like you, I picked having fun with the kids or _just being with them_ over housework more times than not. Here's the surprise - none of them remember the messy house!!!! They _do_ remember us hanging out together so much. And they feel lucky to have had that. _You_ just have to remember that hanging out with your family has value. 

Now that I don't have so many young ones at home my house is less messy. BUT if you saw it right now, you'd never believe me. There are scraps of fabric and sewing machines and all sorts of stuff everywhere!!! But my son will remember that I made his bride a beautiful dress and that I embroidered his brothers' wedding attire and that I handled all the little last minute things they forgot and he'll never give this messy house a second thought.

So tonight, you need to chill out with your family. Believe me, the housework will be waiting for you when you get around to it. And BTW, you are an awesome mom!!!


----------



## suziquzie

Aw thanks Terry, I really don't feel like it lately being back at work mostly full time.... I'm helping put food on the table.... that's not especially being a good mom.... 
and especially when I have so much fun with the girls when I'm there!!!! That makes me feel even worse... I didn't stick them in daycare or anything, but Dad just isn't the same ya know... 
Oh well. Someday.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

suziquzie said:


> Aw thanks Terry, I really don't feel like it lately being back at work mostly full time.... I'm helping put food on the table.... that's not especially being a good mom....
> and especially when I have so much fun with the girls when I'm there!!!! That makes me feel even worse... I didn't stick them in daycare or anything, but Dad just isn't the same ya know...
> Oh well. Someday.


See? That's why you're a good mom - you feel guilty about having fun without them! Seriously, if you never gave them a second thought when you were at work....well....you'd be a Dad!  Only joking guys. Putting food on the table _is_ being a good mom when that's what needs to be done.


----------



## luvs

awww, suz, i almost got tearful. you're a great person.
often work is important. i've read you're struggling, & my fam struggled, too, & hear me when i say very young kiddos understand that days 'er better fer them if Mum/Dad work late some days. that means fresh crayons, new sneakers, & a spiffy Mom.
& your babies aren't going hungry cause thier Mum is putting food on thier table!!

my Parents worked full-time since i was born, & i wasn't affected. i was with Gram & Pap during my days. was oblivious to my Parent's work, cause i knew they'd left me with people i loved & would be there at 5:30 fer us.

& 99% of stuff that needed to be cleaned, dishes aside, were from us kiddos.


----------



## Dina

Suzi,
As long as you put something to eat on the table and gather all your family around it, nothing else matters.  The material things are secondary but the quality time you spend with family is priceless.  Hugs my friend.  Take a breather.


----------



## Saphellae

Suzi, you know the thread where we all complained about something our Moms made when we were younger that we hated? Well, we talk about it, but what we really remember as we get older is that Mom loved us enough to cook for us with whatever means she had, and that the food wasn't the most important thing of our childhood.


----------



## Barbara L

I agree with everything said Suzi.  Enjoy your kids!

Barbara


----------



## kadesma

Suzi,
I can hear the love in your voice as you write to see how we will feel about your working so much. You and your husband agreed on this, your babies are being taken care of and you are making sure they are eating and have proper
clothes to wear.My mom worked every day I can remember..I don't remember
 feeling neglected or I just was happy when she came home and we had dinner together, then my dad would put the dishes in the sink and we would listen to the radio, then came a bath then a story as they both tucked me into bed..Mom would start the story and my little daddy would do sound effects. Once I started to fall asleep, off they would go and do the dishes together..I can remember them laughing and whispering and to that I'd fall asleep.secure knowing I was loved and cherished...Suzi,
you kids know they are loved and I admire you for working so hard..You are providing and showing them what love is all about. I respect you girl you are a mom to recon with.
hugs,
kades


----------



## miniman

Suzie - don't feel a slob. Family is more important, I hope you spent the time with your family. You could always involve them in the tidying and cleaning - make a game of it. Mine are a bit older, but we have cleaning time on a Sunday for about an hour, where everybody is doing a bit and the house looks much better at the end.

I must admit, I don't notice messyness as much as DW.


----------



## Barbara L

miniman said:


> Suzie - don't feel a slob. Family is more important, I hope you spent the time with your family. You could always involve them in the tidying and cleaning - make a game of it. Mine are a bit older, but we have cleaning time on a Sunday for about an hour, where everybody is doing a bit and the house looks much better at the end.
> 
> I must admit, I don't notice messyness as much as DW.


My daughter makes a game of it when she can.  Now and then she will call for a 10-minute clean-up.  She sets a timer for 10 minutes, and during that 10 minutes everyone picks up and puts away/throws away as much as possible.  The kids (10 and 7) like the competitive nature of this.

Barbara


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Barbara L said:


> My daughter makes a game of it when she can.  Now and then she will call for a 10-minute clean-up.  She sets a timer for 10 minutes, and during that 10 minutes everyone picks up and puts away/throws away as much as possible.  The kids (10 and 7) like the competitive nature of this.
> 
> Barbara


We do this, too, Barbara. We call it "a blitz". I set the timer for anywhere from 15 minutes to 1 hour. The rule is that everyone works their butts off for that amount of time but all cleaning ceases the instant the timer goes off and there will be no more cleaning for the day. I read this in a great book called "The Mother's Almanac" years ago and it really works! I've found that 15 minutes for really young children works best but teens will do an hour without much protest. (Sadly, I've never gotten my husband past 5 minutes.)


----------



## suziquzie

I won't even get in to trying to get them to help....
But thanks so much everyone you've made my day.

Now off to work.... again....


----------



## luvs

i'm so cranky i just cried cause i typed wrong. i shouted out of anger at NOTHING. wait, i was fine fer a sec when i thought i heard jake. wasn't him. sweetJesus bless a student loan soliciter if they call me tonite.


----------



## LadyCook61

I am so angry that a rotten creep got off with a fine for microwaving a kitten.  I saw the headline that this creep was fined for doing this evil deed ,  I didn't open the news to read about it... it upset me too much to even read the headline.   I feel sick.  What is wrong with people ???   I don't think I am going to read news anymore...  it gets worse and worse.


----------



## LEFSElover

................about the huge bug on my hotel room bed..............................
............took pix of it, wanted to send it to my husband but can't figure out how to do that on the new phone..........an awful slur by someone on most recent pm post to me, that has me over the moon furious............and, oh now, that bug in on the window, oh gee yeah!  YIKES


----------



## pdswife

eek... bugs...suck and so do mean people!!


----------



## LEFSElover

yep ^^^ but I'm tough


----------



## pdswife

I know you are!
Kill the bugs and ignore the mean poster!


----------



## Barbara L

Major vent.    I have mentioned the dogs across the road, and how one of them kills chickens and killed one of our cats.  I just caught him with one of our neighbor's beautiful young cats in his mouth, dead.  We tried Animal Control (AGAIN) and got their answering machine.  Then we called the sheriff's department.  She said that Animal Control is now part of their department, and calls are recorded (so if there is no action this time, there is a record of it), so they put us through to them.  They are supposed to be on the way right now.  I love the dog (so does Cubbie), but his owner lets him run loose, and that has brought the problems.  They had better take him this time.  

I'll keep you updated.

Barbara


----------



## miniman

I hat when dogs are not under control. One of the parents at pre school was saying they got a puppy at the weekend. The daughter (8ish) was walking it on Monday when it was set on and torn to pieces by another dog running loose in the park. They too were struggling to get the police involved in getting this dog taken out of circulation.


----------



## Barbara L

Unfortunately, because we don't have a leash law, they can't just come out and pick him up. Anyone who can claim damages against him can take him to civil court. The Animal Control guy is going to go talk to the dog's owner and, as he said, "have a little prayer meeting and put the fear of God in him." If nothing else works, he can put a safe trap in our yard and take the dog in. Then the dog's owner would have to go get him if he wants him. They can't take the dog in unless the judge declares him a nuisance (if we all take him to court) or if he injures a child. They will check to see if his dogs (he has a few) have had their rabies shots. If they have not, there will be a $200 fine per dog. 

Since that little girl witnessed such a horrible thing, I would think they could file for emotional damages.  How horrible for her.

It's all very frustrating.

Barbara


----------



## texasgirl

LadyCook61 said:


> I am so angry that a rotten creep got off with a fine for microwaving a kitten. I saw the headline that this creep was fined for doing this evil deed , I didn't open the news to read about it... it upset me too much to even read the headline. I feel sick. What is wrong with people ??? I don't think I am going to read news anymore... it gets worse and worse.


 
It is sad how people like doing this!! They actually love it
My husband had a friend that got a new puppy and took it to a field and shot it, just to see what it felt like to shoot an animal
He should have taken the gun away and shot HIM!! Makes me so ill when I see things like this. I cuddle my babies even more. There is a little dog down the road that you can see it's hips and ribs. It's the 2nd one they have had. They're trash, not worth the stuff you step in, but, they won't do anything about him, he just says it's not his dog and we don't have an animal control, so, they leave it!!
I am taking the little thing some food and hope it is okay.


----------



## luvs

i could cry. they're like babies to me, animals. who could ignore sad puppy-eyes or that baby meow of a kitten. i'm sad & angry. i don't get buying a kitty or pupkins you don't want!!!
stray animals swarm at my Parents, plus dropoffs. we fed so many feral kitties, & during winter, i'd let felix curl into my coat & he'd purr!!! ohhhhhh, i get so sad over animals.
i get to see my & my Parent's furbabies Sunday!!!


----------



## expatgirl

the most heartless lady came to the house with her daughter and wanted to take the cutest kitten and then announced to her  in front of me that they would get rid of it after her project for animal care (this was Cairo and getting rid of could have meant anything from where she spawned from)............I took one look at her and said "No, I'm sorry.........but my kittens are not for you, then"...........unfortunately I had to run into her and had run-ins with her many years after that.......I actually had her daughter in my Girl Scout Troop and she got carsick on a very busy roundabout.......we cleaned her up, put her in the front seat when it was safe to pull over and tried to call Mom.......no answer.......Melanie refused to go home though I had a driver to take her and we went on with the meeting and she was perfectly fine........that night I got the most nasty phone call from her mum demanding to know why I had not let Melanie out of the car at the point that she said she was feeling sickish............I spoke to her like I would  to a mentally challenged  child......slowly and precisely........well you know that roundabout (British design) near the railroad tracks with 3 million cars going every which way but loose?  Well, do YOU think that we should have stopped to let her out then and there????????  It was wonderful to hear the stammering and the clearing of the throat on the other end......don't mess with me...that was just one of several battles.......

how anyone could hurt animals is just beyond me


----------



## LeeAnn

Here in the Hamptons, ARF is very present.  There are feeding groups that go around to the feral colonies and lovingly feed the animals.  Pets are trapped-spayed/neutered-vaccinated and released back to the colony.  One ear is lopped partially off so ARF can tell that the animal has been taken care of.  One of the houses we lived in this past spring had a colony living behind of about 12 cats - a rather small one.  We got 9 trapped and only one had to be put to sleep, she ended up having a huge tumor in her stomach, she wasn't just chubby like we thought.  My girls had named her Lucky because in all the times we had been feeding them, she was obviously very old, beautiful long fur (though matted), and missing most of her teeth.

We put a combo of hard/soft food out 2x a day for the colony on our back porch - some would come up while we were there, but we could only pet a few of them until they realized we were touching them.   Always water, and once a day we'd heat some milk for all of them, as a little treat.

One cat was all black, small, missing an eye that was severely infected, and very pregnant.  ARF kept her til the babies were born, adopted out all 5 of her babies, and released her back to our house.  Gypsy - as I called her was so vicious with them so the girls and I went in a few times to visit, she would be nice and calm each time we were there to talk to her.

There was one kitten in the colony, about 4 months old.  She was trapped, spayed and chipped.  A wild little thing my youngest daughter named Pipsy - she was Gypsy's only surviving baby from her last litter.  We brought her into our house and it took about a week before she would come out from the little cave area we made for her, but now she's SO affectionate, we know she's very thankful for her little comfy life now.  She's so affectionate that sometimes I have to keep putting her to the side off of me and eventually she'll settle down next to one of our legs, or across our lap - and just stare at us, it's so cute.

Anyway, all that rambling to say that there are so many pet lovers, and way too many animal haters - if they don't want the animal or can't take care of it, then drop it off in a box at a vets door during the night, or some animal shelter, or at someones house that they know has a well loved animal and let them deal with finding a good home for the pet.  How hard can that be?  And as much as I am against animal cruelty, I still feel that if an animal has killed another, it will continue.  I feel they have to be put to sleep because the consequences of keeping that animal alive and the damage that will be done is not good.  Regardless of how much the animal is tame and loving when around their owner, you can't predict what is going on in the animals mind and what they will do.  Control has to be with not only keeping a leash on the animal, that only goes so far in protecting other animals and people from them.


----------



## pdswife

Oh LeeAnn... you and the kitty Cats...lol.. how many do you have now?  They seem to come to you because they know you and and the girls will love and take care of them.

Smiles, Trish!!


----------



## jpmcgrew

This is what I always say. " Do you know why my house is a mess? BECAUSE PEOPLE LIVE HERE"


----------



## babetoo

i am so mad i could spit. another cold is settling in my chest. coughing, nose running, no appetite , tired etc.
i am to many things i want to do, to be sick. 
hope anger will help it to go away sooner.


----------



## Barbara L

I'm sorry babe!  That is a miserable feeling.  Is it still as hot as it has been?  That makes it worse in some ways I think!  In case being mad at it doesn't help, I'll pray that you get better soon!

Barbara


----------



## texasgirl

My baby is leaving today
I know he will be ok and that he will be able to get work there, he's already a phone interview and has one set for wedneday up there. I will miss him terribly though!!


----------



## Bilby

Good luck to him.  Stay strong Stacy.  He won't be gone for ever.


----------



## LeeAnn

Trish, we only have 4.  Tiger, Tilly, Tinker - the ones that drove here with us, and now Pipsy - the little feral kitten who is almost a year old.  NO more pets in this house - I've turned down LOTS, I told the girls that this is 4 cats and 3 hermit crabs past my limit.  hmm.  When they get their own homes, they can have as many pets as they want, but no more will be added here.  As long as they've been talking, they all want some kind of work that involves taking care of animals - I suppose it's in their blood.  I had pets of just about every kind growing up and loved them to pieces, the girls can't help but want the same.  
I've missed talking to you!!


----------



## pdswife

Hi LeeAnn,  Get signed on to MSN again!!! I'm always on there!!!

The time diffrence makes it hard but..there are times when we can meet up.

Trish!!


----------



## Callisto in NC

The economy picked a really bad time to do what it's doing.  I so want to walk off my job.  My boss' mother is making things far more difficult than they need to be.  She's tellilng me to do things I already do.  She is installing a camera that will be trained on my screen all day every day which means even at lunch I won't be free to just do things like this.  I feel to violated right now.  AND she tells me to stick to a schedule but the fracks up the schedule by going to the mail box and bank on the wrong days and then blames me when I don't see X bill because she's taken it off to look at it.  What a bloody pain in the neck this woman is.


----------



## expatgirl

Callisto, that's such a shame.........you have every right to be stressed..........we had a doctor's wife who would come to the clinic once a week to "help" and she just made people's lives miserable.............the head nurse was an absolute dragon and foaming at the mouth by noon......I just stayed out of the way and under the firing range........I remember calling their office and letting them know that the last patient was there and having to inform "helpful wife"...........well, time went on and on and this patient was fuming and pacing.........I called back to the doctor's office and asked if they knew that they still had one patient out here........the head nurse screamed "what??????"  apparently helpful wife forgot.........oh, no, I would not have wanted to be in that office for anything on Thursdays...........hang in there until something better comes along.......Mama is probably suffering from the effects of old age on the brain..........sorry you feel like you're in a stalag and big Momma is watching you


----------



## Dina

Callisto,
Hang in there.  There are ups and downs in EVERY job but others are just intolerable.  Try looking for a new job to make things better for you.  I'm sending you prayers.


----------



## miniman

I just need to sound off - I'm so fed up with being moaned at, shouted at and treated though things going wrong in our house. Today, someone really annoyed DW at work and I got the brunt of her reaction down the phone whilst I was trying to cook dinner for the boys. She was being so mad, angry and cross and I got it. She just seems to being ratty everyday and if I say anything - I get it in spades.


----------



## pdswife

I had a counsoler once tell me miniman that the people who love us most will treat us badly sometimes because they feel safe doing it.  They know that tomorrow... you'll still love them.   I think about that when Paul has to let off steam.  I know that doesn't always help..but, sometimes...it does.


----------



## expatgirl

MM----hate to say it but it was probably that time of the moon, too...............try and listen with a detached ear.........I totally agree with pdswife.......your DW doesn't mean it but she's so frustrated right now.......my hubby after 35 years is finally catching on.......just ignore her moodiness, let her rant, listen, and plow ahead..........now if she keeps it up all the time of course you'll need to have a sit-down and get it out in the open and see what's really wrong.....I know....it frustrates you, too........


----------



## Barbara L

pdswife said:


> I had a counsoler once tell me miniman that the people who love us most will treat us badly sometimes because they feel safe doing it. They know that tomorrow... you'll still love them. I think about that when Paul has to let off steam. I know that doesn't always help..but, sometimes...it does.


I'm not a counselor, but that is exactly the same conclusion I came to a year or so ago! I love James more than he will ever know, but I sometimes say things to him that I would never say to anyone else (and in a tone I would never use with anyone else), and he does the same (although probably not as often as me--I'm horrible sometimes!). I know that he will forgive my rantings (and he knows I will forgive his). This still doesn't make it right, but it's just the way it is. Thankfully, most of the time we are nice to each other!

Barbara


----------



## luvs

me & jake get snippety with each other & yell some days. not usually, thoguh. 

we love each other dearly. often it's not him i'm angry with, occasionally, not often. & he'll be cranky & yell when he works over. he's tired.


----------



## suziquzie

MM I'm sorry... 
I can not understand taking out your problems on someone not involved. I see it alot... at home here too.... and I cannot and will not scream at someone not involved. There's no point. 
Talking about it, fine. 
Treating someone else badly because you're upset.... they don't deserve that.


----------



## jpmcgrew

Once in a while DH picks on me and nags me because of something at work. I know it's not me because what he is b####ing about is nothing until I get him to tell me whats going on. I on the other hand will talk about whats bugging me and maybe go into a crying jag. I unload on him but it's all about what is upsetting me I do not try to pick a fight thats ridiculous


----------



## Barbara L

Oh, I don't agree with doing that either.  When I get stupid with James, it is usually over something he did, but I blow it up into unreasonable proportions.

However, sometimes I do get upset, and he thinks I am mad at him.  I'll tell him, "I'm not mad at you!  I'm mad at myself and you just got in the way!" (of my yelling or venting, that is).

Barbara


----------



## Dina

miniman said:


> I just need to sound off - I'm so fed up with being moaned at, shouted at and treated though things going wrong in our house. Today, someone really annoyed DW at work and I got the brunt of her reaction down the phone whilst I was trying to cook dinner for the boys. She was being so mad, angry and cross and I got it. She just seems to being ratty everyday and if I say anything - I get it in spades.


It's the stress from all a working mom has to do.  You're already a big help by cooking dinner for the kids.  Let her have a peaceful moment when she gets home.  Maybe that'll calm her down.


----------



## LeeAnn

Stress is a hard thing to deal with at times - that's for sure.  I suppose I didn't love my husband enough because I wouldn't put up with him taking his frustrations out on me any longer, I couldn't listen to anymore.  I have heard the saying that we hurt the ones most that we love the most, but I just feel a little differently about that.  I will not get into any arguments again with anyone, my physical being and peace of mind, and my childrens, are far more important than to be the one that gets the brunt of the frustration and stress.  Just my opinion.  
As for a camera being set up on your desk and monitor all day at work - I suppose this will be a solid record of you doing your work as it should be done - and the boss' mother will have to account for the bills and such not being at your desk on the days they should be - and her messing up the set schedule of things that have always been.  Maybe once it's known that you are doing your work and she's messing things up - the camera will eventually disappear.


----------



## expatgirl

I think that the "boss-son" is a weenie and I really mean it..........to let your mother run the show........gads, how is that going to work on all levels................


----------



## Fisher's Mom

miniman said:


> I just need to sound off - I'm so fed up with being moaned at, shouted at and treated though things going wrong in our house. Today, someone really annoyed DW at work and I got the brunt of her reaction down the phone whilst I was trying to cook dinner for the boys. She was being so mad, angry and cross and I got it. She just seems to being ratty everyday and if I say anything - I get it in spades.


I'm sorry your wife is having a stressful time at work and _you_ are the way she blows off steam. But I think PDSwife has it right - it's because she is absolutely secure in your love and commitment to her so it's safe to vent on you. Quite a compliment, if you think about it, but not easy to be the recipient of. If it doesn't happen too often, I would suggest you just ignore it and vent here a little yourself. (That's what friends are for!) If it becomes a regular pattern of behavior, it's time to talk and/or maybe seek a little counselling so she can get some tools for handling her occasional stress in a different way that doesn't involve dumping it on you. But for what it's worth, I think you're a lovely husband and a prince for trying to sort this out rather than re-acting in a not-so-good way!


----------



## Adillo303

I understand, but, really don't like being the brunt of what hapens at work. I am trying my best to deal with it, because, I do it too. I think a lot of folks do. 

DW is a paralegal, that environment goes from happy to high stress in a heartbeat. I am a self employed computer consultant, and therefore, at fault for all computer failures. 

Our best hope would be if we could form an alliance between ourselves to shut out the work world at home. We are working at it.

It's hard enough that we, or any other couple, do not always agree at home.


----------



## Adillo303

Another subject, not necessarily a vent, but it would be better to get it said and go on.

I get up early and usually make lunch for DW, and pack a breakfast and lunch for me. I worked all weekend, 12 hour days, that was great, with the current economy, to get that many hours is blessing. I did not get to shop pr make bread. I figgured I's be OK, I had some lunchmeat from last week and I got milk and OJ, which I pack for B'Fast.

I got up and found the bread had gone bad. No lunch for me, no point in packing just B'Fast. DW gets soup, home made and frozen and fresh made fruited Yogurt. She's OK.

Went to catch the train. Heard an announcement that it would be 20 minutes late. After it was 30 minutes late, a bus showed up and took us to the next station down the line. I do not nkow what that did, except put us outside on a cold (30 degree) windy platfomr. Our regular train finally showed up and took us to the city. The conductot told us that a Northbound train had hit a car and that stopped the trains for an hour. Why the bus, who knows.

Well a little varitey for a Monday.


----------



## expatgirl

boy, Adillo, I would be venting after a day like yours!!  I hate to be held up for anything........


----------



## In the Kitchen

*scarf?*

Okay, so I have been very very sick with some kind of virus.  Not sleeping, coughing when I do lay down, constant battle.  of course drinking water and going to bathroom like I am dried up. don't know what all this is about?  Anyway, HAVE to take brother to doctor visit.  He doesn't want to pass it up.  No matter what.  Not only do I take him, I HAVE to wear a scarf around my mouth.  He said do it in Japan all the time.  He doesn't want to get it and doesn't want me to give it to someone else?  I got it from someone didn't I?  If they were wearing scarf or not I don't know if it would have helped.  I have to go to the store for him and the bank.  Can you believe what I day I will have?  It will wear me out just explaining to people about the get up.  Probably think Halloween.  You think he would do all this for me?  I got feelings too you know.  I am praying he doesn't get it.  Been sick over week.  My work is never going to get caught up.  Wonder where I got it?  Hope you all stay healthy.  OH, chicken soup doesn't help.


----------



## expatgirl

sounds like you need to take a rehydrant ITK........has salts in i to help you retain water........ask your pharmacist or chemist what they recommend.........by the way secretions and sneezing can affect people within one meter of you.......take a yardstick and do a revolution......that's who is infecting you......so on a plane that's about 10 people or a busy mall or a Mcdonald's..............


----------



## Fisher's Mom

I think a surgical face mask might be better, ITK. You can buy them by the box at a pharmacy. Yes, it really does help you keep from spreading many viruses.

But the _best _thing would be for your brother to re-schedule or take the bus or a cab. You should be at home taking care of yourself until you're truly well, my friend. I look forward to reading your posts and I know everyone else does so we don't want anything to happen to you!


----------



## babetoo

In the Kitchen said:


> Okay, so I have been very very sick with some kind of virus. Not sleeping, coughing when I do lay down, constant battle. of course drinking water and going to bathroom like I am dried up. don't know what all this is about? Anyway, HAVE to take brother to doctor visit. He doesn't want to pass it up. No matter what. Not only do I take him, I HAVE to wear a scarf around my mouth. He said do it in Japan all the time. He doesn't want to get it and doesn't want me to give it to someone else? I got it from someone didn't I? If they were wearing scarf or not I don't know if it would have helped. I have to go to the store for him and the bank. Can you believe what I day I will have? It will wear me out just explaining to people about the get up. Probably think Halloween. You think he would do all this for me? I got feelings too you know. I am praying he doesn't get it. Been sick over week. My work is never going to get caught up. Wonder where I got it? Hope you all stay healthy. OH, chicken soup doesn't help.


 
i think your brother is taking advantage of you. just tell him no! if you have what i had, you are to sick to do anything. i could barely make it to my doctor for myself. also had to take antibiotic, maybe u should check with doctor. also got a pill for the cough. the coughing just wore me out. so i know how you feel. be a little caring of yourself for a change


----------



## Dina

ITK,
Oh I hope it's nothing serious.  Make sure you get checked by a doctor right away.

I've been struggling with eczema for 3 weeks and I hate it.  It came back just when I got more stress in my life...or more allergens like our new puppy.  I'm so fed up with this skin disorder.  I'm applying a petroleum jelly, benadryl gel and a topical medicated cream for dermatitis but the waiting for it to dry up and heal up is so long.  It's been hot down here and can't wear any shorts cause it's all over my lower legs and on my arms.  Argh!


----------



## expatgirl

Dina, years ago I got a very bad case of  housewifes's eczema from soap products on my hands ...they were dry, itchy, cracking and bleeding.........doc put me under a UV lamp and then gave me some cream that began with a V.........cleared it right up......he told me not to wash my hands in hot water or sudsy water unless I wore gloves......I imagine that you are having a reaction to the soap products that you are using .......ask you pharmacist what's a mild soap to use......I also had it on my scalp and was actually bleeding it was so bad.........Neurogena's TGel extra-strenghth shampoo was the only thing that worked......still does.........smells terrible cause it contains coal tar but it works.......hope you feel better......eczema is terrible to have


----------



## Dina

Thanks for the tips ExPat.  I have changed my shampoo and dishwashing soap in the last month so I'm sure it has to do with it.  I've gone back to what I used before and have kept applying the medicated cream Kenacomb.  The arms are healed and the legs are clearing up slowly.  At least there's no more swelling, burning or itching.  
Blah!


----------



## expatgirl

Glad to hear that, Dina, and that your skin is getting better.......you also may want to see if you changed your laundry detergents........


----------



## pot clanger

*cancer  sucks!!!*


----------



## miniman

<<<<<<<<<<<<Potclanger>>>>>>>>>>>>
We are here if you want to talk more.

Ray


----------



## africhef

can I vent about all my appliances going on the blink within one week of each other? First my double oven said see-ya then the fridge not wanting the oven to be lonely started smoking, okay then my dishwasher stopped working. After a week of washing dishes by hand the dishwasher started working I do not know how or why. So now I am reduced to a toaster oven, a very small fridge and a microwave. oh and 2 bread machines. Craigslist is looking very promising.  Thank you I needed to get that off my chest. traitorous appliances


----------



## texasgirl

{{{{potclanger}}}} I know honey, it really does!!

africhef, of course you can vent about that, lord, so would I!! Poor thing!!


----------



## kadesma

Potclanger

You are loved...
kadesma


----------



## africhef

thank you


----------



## expatgirl

Potclanger..........I lost a Mother, aged 30, and a favorite aunt at age 55, though 45 when first found, and an aunt found hers in time at age 55........all breast cancer victims............I agree with you.......cancer sucks!!!  We're all here for you or for your friend of family member.........vent anytime you want to..............


----------



## kadesma

Africhef,
this is the place for all of us to vent, be it big vents or small they are all important to us  and to have  a place to talk to others who understand helps so much.
kadesma


----------



## LadyCook61

Frustrated with the Notebook keyboard !  One of the keys came off and I still can't get it back on the keyboard.  I did a google and found how to do it but I could not get the stupid key back on !


----------



## suziquzie

africhef I think those 2 appliances are in cahoots....
same 2 went on me last year, same week. 
 
bad week.


----------



## babetoo

wish i had more energy. makes me crazy not to get things done in a timely manner. when i was younger i went like gang-busters all day. now not so much. take vitamins , eat well, sleep and nap. i know it is getting older but i still hate hate hate it.


----------



## deelady

Babetoo, as long as it gets done, thats as timely manner as you need to get it! Relax and do as you please when you please, whose going to tell you differently?!?


----------



## babetoo

that is pretty much what i do, deelady. but why do i feel so guilty about it? the Calvinist work ethic, i guess


----------



## deelady

because we spend our entire lives hurrying to get nowhere....fast. And if we slow down we are riddled with guilt!

I say stop, smell the roses and enjoy!


----------



## expatgirl

you know, I had a friend and neighbor who could not sit still without feeling gulity---told me so.......even when she sat down at night she always had quilting or sewing in her hands........on the weekends she and her hubby had their "chores".........her house was spotless and her lawn was immaculate.......I never ever.......ever.........saw her rest to smell the flowers...........when her son got married and relatives were in town (they stayed at a hotel) she was out everyday raking leaves before they came over.........in all the 10 years that I knew her only 2 of us actually could get her out to take a leisurely lunch and yet she was antsy to get back home and to her chores.........in the middle of the summer in Houston you'd see her out their limping pushing a lawnmower twice a week in the sauna-heat.........didn't have to........they were more than well-off and trying to save even more and not once did she ever use the dishwasher........her pantry was labeled and alpaphabetized.......OCD??????)obsessive compulsive disorder????  in case  she didn't know I was enough of a big mouthed friend to tell her so---she agreed but she reminded me of the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland..........and then sadly she passed away a month back from a massive heart-attack triggered by a stroke.......g-d I could smack her.........mowing that perfect blasted lawn in 100 degree weather at her age and with mild hypertension the day before .........I'm still mad at her ............
Deelady is right..........stop and smell the roses and stop sweating the small stuff......ok, that's enough of a vent for me.......


----------



## suziquzie

ok expat you got me sold, I refuse to mow the lawn!


----------



## expatgirl

suziquzie said:


> ok expat you got me sold, I refuse to mow the lawn!



seriously............twice a week in 100 degrees with high humidity at her age (58) and with high blood pressure------her husband who did talk to her to no avail is just devastated......now it's just him..........I don't  mow the lawn either in this kind of weather, Suzie


----------



## Claire

I have to say that the restaurants in my small town are getting boring.  What has become my real pet peeve is the noise level.  By that I mean "music".  Several times in recent months I've gone to the owner or manager and asked them this:  Do you see the people in this room?  Have you noticed that I (at age 53) am the youngest person in your restaurant?  So why can I not even speak over the "music" that your twenty-something bartender loaded in the juke box?  Do you even care?  I've several places I do not go to any more because of the noise level.


----------



## Claire

By the way, cancer isn't a minor problem.  Too loud music is a P-in-the-A, but my mom lives with cancer every day.  I suspect that we will all live with cancer; we're living longer.  So are hearts are with you.


----------



## Barbara L

I agree about the music Claire.  I have had to ask others at the table to repeat themselves because I couldn't hear them over the music.  Fortunately that doesn't happen very often.  I did ask them to turn down the music in a small restaurant once.  It was a boom-box and not piped in.  There were only a few people in there, and it was so loud that my friend and I couldn't hear each other.  When I asked them to turn it down they did with no complaints.

Barbara


----------



## Barbara L

Claire said:


> By the way, cancer isn't a minor problem. Too loud music is a P-in-the-A, but my mom lives with cancer every day. I suspect that we will all live with cancer; we're living longer. So are hearts are with you.


Definitely.  My mom's parents both died of cancer, and my prayers are with anyone having to go through it themselves or having to go through it with someone they love.

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

IMHO----loud music belongs in clubs and not restaurants........here not only do many restaurants charge for your firstborn but they have TV screens everywhere and we're talking upscale restaurants not family style or Chuck-E-Cheese types and blaring volumes.........they are fascinated by flat screens here..........most are happy to oblige me when I ask them to turn it down and I always follow it with a nice smile (I could care less about the tv's being on) so I'm happy..........


----------



## expatgirl

Claire, your mom is very lucky to have you look out for her.........cancer affects the entire family in more ways than one.........just having to watch the person deal and confront the myriad of emotions, treatments, and day to day living can be exhausting.......know we're here for you


----------



## Saphellae

I was home sick yesterday afternoon and am again this morning.. Boo


----------



## texasgirl

I know this is a petty vent, but, ARGH, dh is ticking me off!!! All day, everyday, he is calling me. He doesn't seem to care that everytime he calls, I go running for the phone hoping it about a job and NO, it's just him, every freaking time!!!!! ARGH!!!


----------



## kadesma

Stacy,
I know how that feels.It's frustrating and you feel like they are calling just to tick you off... Talk it over with him, I bet he doesn't even realize he is annoying you.
kades


----------



## texasgirl

kadesma said:


> Stacy,
> I know how that feels.It's frustrating and you feel like they are calling just to tick you off... Talk it over with him, I bet he doesn't even realize he is annoying you.
> kades


 
I tried, didn't work with him, he just got hateful about it and continues to do it. He doesn't care. He's bored at his office and wants to talk, so, he calls me.


----------



## kadesma

texasgirl said:


> I tried, didn't work with him, he just got hateful about it and continues to do it. He doesn't care. He's bored at his office and wants to talk, so, he calls me.


Then you pull one of my tricks..Gee I was outside and didn't hear the phone ring..Sorry I was washing my hair, sorry I was fixing something for your dinner...Or just flat out do NOT answer the fool thing...
I wonder what he'd say if you started calling him at the office?  Hummmmm
kadesma


----------



## texasgirl

kadesma said:


> I wonder what he'd say if you started calling him at the office? Hummmmm
> kadesma


 
It backfires


----------



## pdswife

Be happy he wants to talk to you and not someone else...


----------



## homecook

texasgirl said:


> I know this is a petty vent, but, ARGH, dh is ticking me off!!! All day, everyday, he is calling me. He doesn't seem to care that everytime he calls, I go running for the phone hoping it about a job and NO, it's just him, every freaking time!!!!! ARGH!!!



My dh used to do the same thing to me. I hated it. I used to go visit my grandmother on Saturday afternoons and he knew that. Every single time he would call me for something stupid. It got to the point any time I went somewhere and he called the people I was visiting wondered if I did something to make him not trust me, like I was out cheating on him. This was before cell phones. lol Now when he goes out it seems like every ten minutes he is calling for something that I know could wait til he gets home. It drives me nuts! I feel your pain......

Barb


----------



## miniman

DW always seems to phone when I'm in the middle of something, usually cooking or serving up. Then she wants to talk for ages. I do get impatient.


----------



## pdswife

I count my lucky stars that my husband calls me five or six  times a day.  I love it.  Sometimes he calls me before his car reaches the bottom of the driveway..just to say I love you or just to talk.  Yeah, sometimes I'm busy but hey, he's my best friend and I'd rather talk to him than any one else.  I'm glad he calls.


----------



## pdswife

and I'm not attacking you... I'm voicing my opinion... I thought that I was able to do that here... and if I want to say I love my husband
and I love talking to him  I will.

I'll shout it from the roof tops just as loud as you complain about yours calling you when you want it to be someone else...I'm so sorry that that bothers you.


----------



## lifesaver

I Love To Sew. My Grandma Taught Me How To Do That.

Just Bring All Of Your Sewing Projects To Me!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## QSis

Okay, first: lifesaver ..... what?

Second: texasgirl ... I'm with you.  I can't think of ANYONE, living or dead, who I would want to call me 5 or 6 times, no matter how much I love them.  It would make me absolutely nuts!  (Well, maybe Robert Redford, if he kept it really short.)

Third:  pdswife ... I envy your feeling that way.

Lee


----------



## kadesma

MY friends,
Both of you have valid reasons here. 
Trish you adore Paul and he you and your love shines for all of us giving us something to work towards.
Stacy, I know you love Michael and at any other time you would welcome a call or two from him a day..But right now your a wreck waiting for that one special phone call and when the phone rings and it's not that special one you get up tight. I would too.
 I think we need to cool off and realize one was venting and the other trying to make you realize how she loves her calls and wants that happiness for you too. I can see both sides here and would like to see an I'm sorry and a that's okay I understand..You both are special to me and many others here..Please don't feel one is right the other wrong that is NOT what this thread is for..It's for friends to be able to cry,vent and know that others care and will back us no matter what.
kadesma


----------



## Claire

My friends and I have agreements.  I'm, more or less, a morning person.  I NEVER call any of my nightowl friends before 11 a.m., and I usually wait until afternoon.  THEY, on the other hand, know that I go to bed at around 9 p.m., so don't call me after that.  I don't go to sleep then, I lie there with a good book.  But it is ME time.  Even my husband doesn't bother me for that hour or two.  Many, if not most, of my friends are widows.  They have a tendency to eat when and what they want.  But they respect my marriage, and a part of it is that we eat dinner together most days.  So they respect the dinner hour.  Other than that, I'm pretty open to phone calls.  

The one thing I always say to my friends, neighbors, and relatives is that the world would be a terribly boring place if everyone was just like me.  Honor and enjoy our differences.


----------



## mikki

My husband called me all the time, until his family started making fun of him. Still calls me a lot, which I wish he never called, but that's a whole different story.


----------



## expatgirl

True story as told by a friend's husband..........wife is watching Oprah one afternoon, ironing and the discussion was about women's mammary endowments and were they perceived as merely functional or fantasy wonderland.......well, now my friend is a deep thinker (and Oprah does stimulate important issues) and felt that there was only one expert who could really answer her question and that was her husband..........so she calls him at work, "Darling, I've been wondering do you perceive them as functional or...........?"  There is this long pause as Mark is frantically trying to turn off the speaker phone.......apparently being the finance manager he happened in the middle of a meeting with his staff of 20.........his staff (all men, I might add) are looking everywhere in the room except at him and trying not to laugh.......to this day as soon as Joan calls, the speaker phone is snapped off..........in case you didn't guess they are one of our favorite couples to hang with


----------



## expatgirl

Saphellae said:


> I was home sick yesterday afternoon and am again this morning.. Boo


  Hope you're feeling better, Saph, and it's not something as bad as the flu........take care..........


----------



## jpmcgrew

DH also calls me all day long about trivial stuff of course I'm in the middle of something sometimes he drives me crazy. I just tell him " lets talk about it when you get home" I have another major vent I will post separately.


----------



## Barbara L

expatgirl said:


> True story as told by a friend's husband..........wife is watching Oprah one afternoon, ironing and the discussion was about women's mammary endowments and were they perceived as merely functional or fantasy wonderland.......well, now my friend is a deep thinker (and Oprah does stimulate important issues) and felt that there was only one expert who could really answer her question and that was her husband..........so she calls him at work, "Darling, I've been wondering do you perceive them as functional or...........?" There is this long pause as Mark is frantically trying to turn off the speaker phone.......apparently being the finance manager he happened in the middle of a meeting with his staff of 20.........his staff (all men, I might add) are looking everywhere in the room except at him and trying not to laugh.......to this day as soon as Joan calls, the speaker phone is snapped off..........in case you didn't guess they are one of our favorite couples to hang with


Oh my gosh, that is hilarious!!!

My vent is about my own stupidity.  I just got one of those Garlic Pros (really like it) and was getting ready to wash it.  If I had seen someone else doing what I did, I would have yelled at them, "Stop!"  But, not having that person behind me yelling, "Stop!" I did not stop.  I saw a piece of garlic stuck to the blade, put my finger in there, and quickly slid the piece of garlic out.  Let's just say that I didn't have to poke my finger to check my blood sugar.  Thankfully, I didn't cut it too bad.  The problem is, it is right on the pad of my right index finger (aka the j, h, y, u, n, m, 6, and 7 typing finger!).  Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

oh, Barbara, you poor thing...I'm just cringing at the thought........I well understand what you did......and where is that guardian angel that yells "Stop, Idiot!!!"?????  He's certainly never around when I'm about to do something stupid..........hope you get your typing skills up to par again


----------



## Barbara L

I still type just as fast.  I just say ow a lot.    Actually it isn't hurting much anymore.  Thanks!

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

good.........must be that anaesthetic.....hehheh.......jest kidding.......


----------



## Claire

Here's a new one for me.  As much as I love to read, grocery shopping is getting to be a trial.  After reading a dozen soup cans (looking for something under 30 gr of carbs for borderline diabetic husband), dog food and shellfish (don't want to buy stuff from China), I thought I'd just grab a bottle of Extra Virgin Olive oil.  A "new" (to me) brand was on the shelf.  It does say, when you first look, 100% all natural Celli Extra Virgin Olive.  I mentioned it to hubby, and he read it.  It is soy and sunflower oil with 15% olive oil.  Ouch.  It isn't going to kill me, but I really think it sould be illegal to place it next to the olive oil.


----------



## Barbara L

Claire said:


> Here's a new one for me. As much as I love to read, grocery shopping is getting to be a trial. After reading a dozen soup cans (looking for something under 30 gr of carbs for borderline diabetic husband), dog food and shellfish (don't want to buy stuff from China), I thought I'd just grab a bottle of Extra Virgin Olive oil. A "new" (to me) brand was on the shelf. It does say, when you first look, 100% all natural Celli Extra Virgin Olive. I mentioned it to hubby, and he read it. It is soy and sunflower oil with 15% olive oil. Ouch. It isn't going to kill me, but I really think it sould be illegal to place it next to the olive oil.


I don't blame you.  I wouldn't have a problem with it being to the side of the olive oil (not in the middle of them), but *only* if it was *clear* on the front of the label that it was a blend.  If it just said olive oil on the front label, or the word "blend" was in tiny print, I would contact the company about their misleading label.  I would possibly also return the bottle to the store and get what I really wanted.

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

Claire said:


> Here's a new one for me.  As much as I love to read, grocery shopping is getting to be a trial.  After reading a dozen soup cans (looking for something under 30 gr of carbs for borderline diabetic husband), dog food and shellfish (don't want to buy stuff from China), I thought I'd just grab a bottle of Extra Virgin Olive oil.  A "new" (to me) brand was on the shelf.  It does say, when you first look, 100% all natural Celli Extra Virgin Olive.  I mentioned it to hubby, and he read it.  It is soy and sunflower oil with 15% olive oil.  Ouch.  It isn't going to kill me, but I really think it sould be illegal to place it next to the olive oil.



Claire, I'm sorry that you have to watch out for stuff like that but you must be a wonderful wife to care so much and your hubby is lucky........yeah, you are the one who has to watch what goes in your mouths..........I admire you and your perseverence...........


----------



## Claire

Yeah, my favorite brand for the buck is a Greek olive oil, Tasso, second favorite is Pompei.  This was in the same shape and size bottle and slightly darker green in color, so I have to wonder how much food color is in in, since 85% of the oil is not from olives!  Like I said, it won't kill me, it's just oil.  I'm just disappointed that it is one more lable that I need a magnifying glass and study!


----------



## expatgirl

yep, the eyesight is the first to go.................


----------



## texasgirl

I hate Migraine Aura's. Pain and half blind is so much fun!!


----------



## suziquzie

I can't take this!!!!!
Why on EARTH can't the kids find something to do quietly and out of the way while I make dinner????
Is there a reason that I can't just go in there and make dinner without stopping 87 times to break up a fight or put out some sort of fire??? Why is the house relatively clean when I start and torn to shreds even after I make a quick meal???
I swear I am going to cry, its every single freaking day!!!!!! 
How the heck am I supposed to be cook and cop at the same time and expect anything decent to come of anything?????


----------



## texasgirl

How old are your kids suzi? I can't remember, sorry. Maybe, put them in separate corners of the room while you're cooking? Give them something they can play with alone. Tell them until they are "human" that is where they stay while you are cooking.


----------



## suziquzie

Almost 9, almost 5.... legogirl will be 3 on saturday. 
Thats the cop part. I can separate all I want but I have to keep freaking stopping what I'm doing to put them back! 
AAARRRRRGGGHHHHHH
Maybe I should have them play with the battery charger....


----------



## texasgirl

suziquzie said:


> Almost 9, almost 5.... legogirl will be 3 on saturday.
> Thats the cop part. I can separate all I want but I have to keep freaking stopping what I'm doing to put them back!
> AAARRRRRGGGHHHHHH
> Maybe I should have them play with the battery charger....



Nah, use the cables and tie 'em up!!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

I will make some suggestions that may or may not work, Suzie, but the truth is it will be a few years before you'll have uninterrupted time in the kitchen. The only reason our moms or June Cleaver could spend the afternoon whipping up fabulous meals in pearls and heels is that they sent their kids outside to play and locked the door!!!!! Now we can't do that cuz it just isn't safe.

Some things you can try are keeping Lego girl in the kitchen with you. You can set her up with some play doh and little pots and pans and cookie cutters. The key is that those things go into a special box and can _only_ be used in the kitchen while you are cooking. That tends to make it more appealing. But you'll still only get about 30 minutes or relatively uninterrupted time (if you're lucky). The boys must play in another room. The rule is that if they argue and cannot work it out for themselves, they will instantly be grounded from each other. You'll have to follow through a couple of times but oddly, no matter how much they argue, they absolutely _hate_ not being able to be together.

I didn't do much of this because I couldn't cook. So instead, I fed my kids Kraft Mac N Cheese, Stouffer's frozen lasagne, Hamburger Helper, etc. Pretty much anything I could make in 20 minutes or less because that's all the time I had. When I needed to make cookies or cupcakes or whatever, I waited til they were in bed. (See what a bad mom I was? If nothing else, this should make you feel pretty good cuz at least you're trying to cook _real_ food for your kids!)


----------



## Barbara L

Send the two older ones to their rooms to read or play quietly for half an hour or so before dinner. Put the 3-year-old in her highchair and give her something to occupy her while you make dinner. Keep her near enough to talk to her, but away from your work area.

Barbara


----------



## kitchenelf

suziquzie said:


> Almost 9, almost 5.... legogirl will be 3 on saturday.
> Thats the cop part. I can separate all I want but I have to keep freaking stopping what I'm doing to put them back!
> AAARRRRRGGGHHHHHH
> Maybe I should have them play with the battery charger....



At almost 9 and almost 5 I bet if you set the rules, and stuck with them, cooking would get easier.  Barbara's suggestion is a good one.  If they don't listen start taking things away...the more they don't listen the more things get taken away (things, privileges, etc.).  Just be sure that whatever the punishment/reward is you can stick to it and the punishment doesn't involve the whole family.


----------



## expatgirl

use reverse psychology.........tell them that you expect them to stay in the kitchen under you feet and they HAVE to be fighting and arguing in order to stay...............take plenty of Excedrin before you start..........#2 more serious idea.........offer a nice dessert on hand and give each one of them a "ticket" Each time you have to correct them tear off one of them....be sure that they know exactly what the violations are that will get them a torn off stub....they've got them in their hands and see exactly how many more "chances" they have........if they lose their 3 chances NO dessert..........with Lego girl only being 2 you might have to use another strategy.......have a cabinet that she has access to with pots and pans and plasticware.......my granddaughter would play for hours with sudsy water and plastic dishes......scoot a chair up to the sink, put an apron on her, and a towel under her and then work as fast you you can........they love the tactile sensation and it relaxes them.......play some great music while you cook..........one day you will miss the noise......truly I promise.........


----------



## expatgirl

something else I forgot to add.........many times kids act up before dinner because of low blood sugar........make sure that an hour/hour and a half before dinner that they have had a light protein snack.....peanut butter crackers, cheese crackers,etc., celery sticks with peanut butter or cheese, and milk if they'll drink it.......


----------



## LeeAnn

When my kids were smaller, and to this day at times, I would busy them with something to do individually if I knew I needed some non-interrupted time.  Coloring pictures, writing a letter to Nana, having them make a new "book", etc.  Just something to keep their little minds and hands thinking and occupied.  It seemed easier for me to do the individual thing because even though I knew they would play well together, it was nice for the quiet time.


----------



## mikki

OK would you tell someone something just because you know its what they want to hear?
Let me explain a little, 2 weeks ago hubby and I had the big blow up that I knew was comming (having trouble for quite awhile) anyway he wanted the truth from me and I guess I finally had the nerve to tell him some things. The things I told him hurt him and I understand that he's hurt and angry.
Anyway this morning he asked if anything has changed, I know he wanted to hear that everything had started to change,but it really hasn't. When I tried to explain to him that things have to be rebuilt and it's not just going to happen overnight, he got mad.
I'm so frustrated I don't want to basically lie and say everything is fine, which I've been doing for quite awhile. But in being truthful I know it hurts him. 
I know if I don't stay strong and stick to my guns things will be just like they were and I can't do that. I have finally taken control of me. I'm trying not to let him control the situation mostly he does this through guilt, I'm not sure what I want so when he starts the guilt trips I start thinking that it's just easier to give in so I don't get the guilt trip.
He did agree to go to a counsler,but we can't get into one for another month, unless someone cancels.
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.


----------



## texasgirl

Aww mikki, you are doing the right thing. You're right, stick to it or it's just going to go back to the way it was or continue and you are going to be unhappy. Don't say what he wants to hear. Say what is true in your heart!! I will pray that it all works out for you. Come and vent all you want.


----------



## mikki

Thanks Stacy, I've never been a strong person. Right now I'm trying to keep my emotion in check so he doesn't think he's got the power to make me feel a certian way.Which in turn makes him think I'm not thinking about things. It's rough and I wish the counsler could see us sooner, but I guess we'll have to wait.


----------



## mikki

oh yeah on top of everything that is going on with hubby and I. DD fiance finds out next week if he goes to Afghanistan, which might screw up their wedding that is being planned for April.


----------



## expatgirl

mikki said:


> OK would you tell someone something just because you know its what they want to hear?
> Let me explain a little, 2 weeks ago hubby and I had the big blow up that I knew was comming (having trouble for quite awhile) anyway he wanted the truth from me and I guess I finally had the nerve to tell him some things. The things I told him hurt him and I understand that he's hurt and angry.
> Anyway this morning he asked if anything has changed, I know he wanted to hear that everything had started to change,but it really hasn't. When I tried to explain to him that things have to be rebuilt and it's not just going to happen overnight, he got mad.
> I'm so frustrated I don't want to basically lie and say everything is fine, which I've been doing for quite awhile. But in being truthful I know it hurts him.
> I know if I don't stay strong and stick to my guns things will be just like they were and I can't do that. I have finally taken control of me. I'm trying not to let him control the situation mostly he does this through guilt, I'm not sure what I want so when he starts the guilt trips I start thinking that it's just easier to give in so I don't get the guilt trip.
> He did agree to go to a counsler,but we can't get into one for another month, unless someone cancels.
> Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.



If you're a friend of mine I do NOT tell you what you want to hear........told a friend once that she was a flaming control freak and to let go....the stuff she was doing was ridiculous..........she was incensed and actually went to her brother (a psychologist) sister, mother, and hubby to see if they thought her a control freak.......wellllllllllllllllll............came back the answers........being a control freak myself......I said that it was not a bad thing to be........they at least got things done................she never got it..........if you ask my opinion and you're a friend I will first ask...........do you really want to know what a I think and if the answer if yes............then I tell you...........


for you..........I don't think your husband is committed to the counselor idea but do give it a try anyway.......sounds like it's going to be hard to work it out on your own..........I really, really hope that you two work it out..........do get to the counselor if you can............


----------



## miniman

Mikki just keep going - the road may be rocky now, but you are working to smooth it out. We are here with you ready to listen whenever you want to release your emotion.


----------



## kadesma

Mikki,
all of us has a touch of the control freak in us, but most of us know when to back off. Keep on telling the truth, he will learn to handle it..Mine did..We had anger, tears, and now he knows to stop if I give him the look..It has to be this way..I don't like someone dictating to me.. I tend to give in to stop any bickering. But I can and do think for myself, I don't need a keeper.You stick to your guns, be strong, yet kind. I had to learn this and now it has helped me be me..Marriage is not all fun and games it takes work and sometimes very hard work to make things smooth..I'm sure you can do this...That you want to get help is wonderful and I wish you all the best and much happiness...Use this thread to help you get things off your chest...We will listen.
kadesma


----------



## Katie H

Ahhhhh!  My hands are killing me.  I was working yesterday at the shop tearing down a chair.  Getting it down to the frame.  My right hand slipped and I lost grip on the chair.  The chair shifted quickly and both hands ended up getting bumped and cut (from exposed nails and staples).  The knuckle on my right index finger is a real mess.

I have to go to the shop today to get some work done, but am trying to decide what I can do that won't stress my hands.  Hopefully by Monday I'll be able to get back to the offending chair.


----------



## texasgirl

Katie E said:


> Ahhhhh!  My hands are killing me.  I was working yesterday at the shop tearing down a chair.  Getting it down to the frame.  My right hand slipped and I lost grip on the chair.  The chair shifted quickly and both hands ended up getting bumped and cut (from exposed nails and staples).  The knuckle on my right index finger is a real mess.
> 
> I have to go to the shop today to get some work done, but am trying to decide what I can do that won't stress my hands.  Hopefully by Monday I'll be able to get back to the offending chair.



Ouch Katie. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you have antibiotic ointment and bandaids to cover your injuries.


----------



## texasgirl

I knew things were going to well. DS was fired today. Him and another guy were moving customers vehicles and the other guy went the wrong way and came around and smashed the front. DS didn't see him in time to stop. They were both fired, didn't matter who was at fault, company policy. He had just turned down a $10 tip because it was against policy. Jeez, what now?


----------



## Barbara L

I'm sorry to hear that Stacy.  Hopefully he will find a better one soon.

Katie, I hope your hands feel better.  It hurt just reading your description!

Barbara


----------



## LPBeier

Katie, take care of those hands!  I agree you should get some antibiotic ointment on them and maybe if you have to work can you where gloves?

Stacy, I am so sorry about the news regarding your son.  It sounded like he was doing very well and this certainly wasn't his fault.  

You are both in my prayers.


----------



## expatgirl

Katie, I'm going to assume that you are up on your shots????? Tetanus comes to mind.............otherwise get thyself to the Dr. on Monday........you have  a 3 days grace period...........hey, take it easy girlfriend............we all think about you and you're in our thoughts.......let us know how you are getting along in you ggidap............


----------



## babetoo

arrgh- woes with handy man again. he just can't be on time. didn't show til two today. is putting bead board in bathroom. told him only til 730 then he has to leave. the hammering is driving me nuts. my sunday is ruined. yesterday he sawed all day. will i never learn. at least this time i haven't paid him.


----------



## Claire

Mikki, I've learned over the years to keep my mouth shut when it is issues with friends.  However, with my own spouse I've learned that what I shut up about today, I will pay for tomorrow.  So it is best to have it out now, because if you (or he) let it simmer for a week or a month, it will not get better, it will get worse.


----------



## Katie H

Thanks everyone.  Hands are feeling much better.  Not looking too great, and hurt much less than they did.  Going to try to be easy on them tomorrow.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Claire said:


> Mikki, I've learned over the years to keep my mouth shut when it is issues with friends.  However, with my own spouse I've learned that what I shut up about today, I will pay for tomorrow.  So it is best to have it out now, because if you (or he) let it simmer for a week or a month, it will not get better, it will get worse.


This is so true, Claire. No matter how much you try to ignore or forget, things do keep simmering and they will eventually boil over. Also, if you deal with things honestly before you've been stewing over them for weeks or months, it's easier to be kind when telling your spouse something that will hurt or disappoint them. You know, there are ways and ways to be honest and some of them aren't so nice.


----------



## LPBeier

Okay, everything has been going "swimmingly" and now we are ankle deep in water due to an unknown sewer problem who knows where.

I had to almost drag our strata manager over here to see that it "wasn't" an in-house problem.  Our next door neighbour was having it too and then when the manager did come, he saw that all four lower suites have the problem.  He checked all the upper suites but it isn't there.  He didn't phone the city to see if they had a problem and now we don't know where he is.

DH  has been working non stop using a small shop vac and small carpet cleaner (green machine) to try and get a handle on it.  I am helping as much as I can which is very little. 

So, no we have no running water, and water all over the place.  We had to barracade the dogs in the bedroom and we don't know if anything will be done before morning.

Update:  the water was contained to the two bathrooms and our storeroom which has a drain.  It is now sort of under control, but our carpets did get some soaking and we have storage stuff all over the living room.

We have had no supper and are not sure when or what we will get.  

Sorry, just needed to scream and didn't want to do it in front of DH because he is working so hard.


----------



## babetoo

oh dear, i'll bet it is a mess. i once had a toilet that overflowed. was flushed before we went out. good thing husband went right back after he drove me to work. it had already flooded the apartment soaking the carpet . it was leaking through
to the apartment below us and coming in round their lights over sink. 

it took a week , with lots of fans to dry out the carpet, then they still had to replace it.

amazing how fast water goes everywhere. hope it gets cleaned up soon. 

babe


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks, Babe.  

We just found out that they don't believe it is a City problem and so they are shutting off all the water in the building (12 suites) until morning and will "deal with it then".  They say ours is the worst hit, but I really don't think he realizes just how bad it is in here...and he has been in four times!


----------



## Barbara L

That's horrible Laurie.  I hope everything is resolved very very soon.

Barbara


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks, Barbara.  

IT is almost 11:00 here now and we finally have the flooding contained and most of the water baled.  The carpets leading to the two bathrooms and the storage room are soaked and it even seaped under the wall into our living room.  The ensuite actually seeped through the carpet into our bedroom as well.  Both bathtubs backed up to about a foot high and then that was draining back out and coming up around through the toilets. 

Sorry to be so graphic but man, this is just insane.  The other three suites were hit but not as bad as us.  They have shut all the water off in the building but if someone forgets and flushes a toilet it can all start over.  

We are exhausted, but GIG and we know that it will all work out.  Tomorrow I have to get on the strata office and make sure that the building insurance will cover all the damage so we don't have to use ours.  Some friends who also own here said that they had a flood a few years ago and it was the fault of a pipe in the wall and it took some doing, but they got the building to cover it all - new carpets, repaired plumbing, repaired wall, etc.  

I just wish I could do more to help DH out on all this.  As it is, I am walking way too much without my cane but I have been trying to help out where I can.


----------



## kadesma

Laurie,
don't try to do so much..DH has his hands full as it is and this way he won't have to care for you if you relapse..Be careful please...I'm so sorry about this, it must be awful for the two of you..You have my prayers for help and that things will be taken care of for  you. Please get some rest soon..Prayers coming
kades


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks, Kades.  I am being careful.  I am also going to make sure I go to physio tomorrow no matter what.  I know I am no good to anyone, specially DH if I hurt myself.  It is just frustrating, but at least I can make the phone calls....and hot chocolate!  Again, thanks for the prayers, they are very much appreciated.  We should be able to go to bed very soon.


----------



## expatgirl

LPBeier said:


> Thanks, Barbara.
> 
> IT is almost 11:00 here now and we finally have the flooding contained and most of the water baled.  The carpets leading to the two bathrooms and the storage room are soaked and it even seaped under the wall into our living room.  The ensuite actually seeped through the carpet into our bedroom as well.  Both bathtubs backed up to about a foot high and then that was draining back out and coming up around through the toilets.
> 
> Sorry to be so graphic but man, this is just insane.  The other three suites were hit but not as bad as us.  They have shut all the water off in the building but if someone forgets and flushes a toilet it can all start over.
> 
> We are exhausted, but GIG and we know that it will all work out.  Tomorrow I have to get on the strata office and make sure that the building insurance will cover all the damage so we don't have to use ours.  Some friends who also own here said that they had a flood a few years ago and it was the fault of a pipe in the wall and it took some doing, but they got the building to cover it all - new carpets, repaired plumbing, repaired wall, etc.
> 
> I just wish I could do more to help DH out on all this.  As it is, I am walking way too much without my cane but I have been trying to help out where I can.



Is it possible to relocate to a local motel or hotel for a day or two, Laurie? Sometimes if you can get away from the disaster it's easier to deal with it........please don't overdo it........otherwise your DH is going to be taking care of you and the house and double his workload............

My hopes for a speedy conclusion to such an unfortunate event.........been there and done that...........hang in there


----------



## texasgirl

Jeez Laurie! I'm sorry you are going through, yet one more thing. Don't do too much though. It's not worth hurting yourself all over again.


----------



## quicksilver

Just learning in the middle of the night of your situation, I know you have your hands full.
Take it slow and easy. Come here to vent, but know all will work out. Just keep on those who make the decisions. Don't settle for NO.


----------



## pdswife

Laurie.... Oh my goodness!!!!

Hope things are drying up nicely.  Did you get the insurance all worked out?  What a pain in the butt!!  

Any news on the job interviews for hubby?

smiles, Trish


----------



## LadyCook61

I had to throw out some freezer burned foods... hubby hates waste too, but he goes to the extreme.. goes in the trash to see what I threw out , and said he didn't care if it has freezer burn. He tried to eat deli turkey breast, and found out what I said was true... freezer burn food tastes horrible.  He wants me to cook some stew meat I threw out , to give to the dog..  I am not giving the dog bad food , but I will try to cut out all the freezer burn area I can see on the meat before cooking, that is , if I can salvage it.


----------



## expatgirl

LadyCook61 said:


> I had to throw out some freezer burned foods... hubby hates waste too, but he goes to the extreme.. goes in the trash to see what I threw out , and said he didn't care if it has freezer burn. He tried to eat deli turkey breast, and found out what I said was true... freezer burn food tastes horrible.  He wants me to cook some stew meat I threw out , to give to the dog..  I am not giving the dog bad food , but I will try to cut out all the freezer burn area I can see on the meat before cooking, that is , if I can salvage it.



oh, my, Girlfriend, you throw stuff away when they're on the toilet and the garbage men are outside the door...........I made the mistake of throwing away my hubby's roach killer cowboy boots ........they were the ugliest things alive that his father talked him into buying and he never wore them.........roaches fled away when they saw him coming the first and last time..........all they were doing were taking up space in the closet............he just tore thru the garbage pulling all kinds of useless stuff that he hadn't worn since Leave it to Beaver days..........that's okay when he went to Egypt I did another sweep of still unworn stuff 8 years later...........not one word was ever said.......he had no time on his hands anymore.........

can your hubby make the dog food per your instructions with the stipulation he cleans up the kitchen afterwards?     My poor outdoor cats in Cairo probably would have eaten it raw but as I was feeding about 10 I'd feed them meat a couple of times a week and then supplement with lentils.......vet said that as long as I added some fish juice they would be fine nutritionally and she gave me vitamins to supplement as well........

I feel your pain in this regard............


----------



## homecook

Can I please ask for some prayers. I'm having a really hard time right now. The guilt is just eating me alive. I don't want to make this too long and bore everyone but I probably will. I haven't slept in two days and my mind is just racing.
My mom is in an asst' living facility since January. She's got dementia, diabetes and is wheelchair bound. Up to that point she was doing well living in her own place. We found out she had colon cancer and had surgery to remove it. No chemo or radiation needed. After the surgery she went down hill and the dementia started. We found out at that time she also had a spot on her lung. The oncologist said it was slow growing and probably wouldn't change for years. I made the decision not to do anything because it would not improve her quality of life.
 Fast forward to now. She's been fighting a uti for the past couple weeks and has her really out of it. I've spent the past two nights at the ER with her. Draining to say the least. She went back to the ER today and they took x-rays of her chest and stomach to see if there were other problems. The lung cancer has grown.  They showed us the x-rays and there is also another spot in another area. Her oncologist will be looking at the x-rays tomorrow (Saturday) and let us know what to expect and if there is a time frame. I am so scared right now. I feel so alone. My dh and ds are a great support as is my older brother except he lives in St. Louis. My two younger brothers are no help at all (they also live out of town). 
I want to believe that the choices I've made for her were the right ones yet I can't get over the guilt. This is like deja vu right now as my Dad died from pancreatic cancer in 83. I just don't know how I'm going to get through this. Also my grandmother just passed away in June and with the holidays coming up I feel like I'm going to crack!! 
I would just like to ask for prayers for my dear mom because I love her so much!
Sorry this got so long, I just needed to let it out.

Barb


----------



## JoeV

Barb,

You've got my prayers from down the street and around the corner.

JoeV


----------



## expatgirl

Barb,

From one who has been there and done that.......stop beating yourself up.......I know that you will anyway...............you can every have test in the book (if her insurance will pay for it) you do what you can do........you've been a fantastic daughter looking out for her..........that's all you can do.........if she's got dementia.......really it's a blessing...........then she doesn't know what's going on.........that's how it was with my Dad........he ended up having lung cancer, too...........the doctor's said that we could treat him with a food tube in the stomach as he had lost his swallowing reflex due to the dementia  and that we'd only be saving him for lung cancer to ravage him and the pain that would accompany it......right now he was in no pain.........do you know how hard it was to sit there and make that decision..............that's why I know what you're going thru...........let her go in peace is what I'm trying to say........the cancer has metastisized and has spread throughout her entire body............let her go......You're  a great daughter..........you care..............and I'm so very sorry...........


----------



## love2"Q"

went to the ER yesterday .. did not want to go .. but my regular doctor 
advised me that i should .. i understand that there is going to be a wait ..
but 6 hours in the waiting room and another 3 in a little room 
while in the worst pain of my life seems a tad long to me ..
and they would not even give me anything for pain until i had someone there
to drive me home .. so .. my wife takes the little ones to my moms and comes up 
there .. i tell the triage nurse i have a ride .. she gives me 600mg ibuprofen ..
what a long day ...


----------



## AuntieV

Barb
My thought are with you. I have made those tough decisions for both my dad and auntie. It is just natural to start second guessing your decisions. What helped me the most when I started the spinning thoughts was something a friend told me. She said "Think with your head and not with your heart". Your heart will tell you that you want Mom  always, while your head will tell you what is best for Mom's quality of life.

My Dad passed away last week. I draw comfort in knowing that because I made those decisions Dad was not in a lot of pain and was able to stay at home till the end which was his wish.  

May you have peace with the decisions you make.


----------



## kadesma

Barb,
 we all have guilt and pain over things, but, you will work through that..It's normal to say I should have or maybe if..The past is the past and you can't change it..You learn from it and grow..Love yourself and you will have great love to share..Be proud that you were their for your mom.You are brave and strong don't let that slip now..I don't know if you have small children or grandkids, use them to give you that warm feeling and pass it to your mom...Make the most of the time left..Then you can rest easy knowing you stayed till you could do no more..Many of us here have the same guilts and pain, so let us lend you a shoulder and many good thoughts and if you like, prayers..If we can ease the pain for you, then bless us and you..Love that's the key...
kadesma


----------



## homecook

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I know beating myself up is not the answer and other people are going through the same thing.  I guess it's just a natural reaction to second guess yourself. I've just got to process all this and figure out where to go from here.
My dd and two grandkids went up to see my mom today. It was a good day and she was in good spirits. She just doesn't like having the catheter in. (Sorry, tmi) My oldest grandson who's 8 came and gave me a hug and told me he will pray for his GG to get better so I wouldn't be so upset. Out of the mouths of babes!
We haven't heard anything from the dr. yet, so we're at a standstill.
Thank you guys again it means alot to me.

Barb


----------



## texasgirl

Barb, we always do what we think is best. I think you made the right choices from what you told us. Nothing would have helped her with the cancer, even the oncologist was in agreement there and if you had, what would that have improved? Now, if there was a cure for dementia, YES, then that is something to go after, but, sadly, there isn't and with that, whatever other ailment she has, except for everyday illnesses, isn't going to help her quality of life. Me, if I were in that situation, I would not want my kids to do anything further to burden them. Let me go to my lord and stop the pain.
My mom was diagnosed in January 92 with colon cancer. We watched her go through the chemo, her knowing it was only prolonging her life, and then, was there for her in her last days at the hospital. She died Oct 5,1992. 9 months, that's it. She wouldn't have gone sooner if not for the chemo, but, as I said, it was to prolong only to get her affairs in order because she wasn't going to put any burden on us. That is the way she was. My momma was my life. I lost her when I was 22, she at 54. WAY too young to go. I lost my teacher, my friend and the one person I always went to when I needed a shoulder. It IS hard Barb and I pray for you to release your guilt, for, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You have loved her and taken good care of her, or she wouldn't be here now with you!! Be at peace with yourself as I know she is too.


----------



## Barbara L

Barb, There's not much I can add to what the others have already said, but I would like to add that I am praying for your mom and for you.

Love2"Q", I know what you mean.  I spent quite some time at the ER when I first got cellulitis in July.  I was sitting there feeling like my leg was on fire--I thought they were never going to see me, and when they did, I thought they were never going to finish.

Barbara


----------



## babetoo

Barbara L said:


> Barb, There's not much I can add to what the others have already said, but I would like to add that I am praying for your mom and for you.
> 
> Love2"Q", I know what you mean. I spent quite some time at the ER when I first got cellulitis in July. I was sitting there feeling like my leg was on fire--I thought they were never going to see me, and when they did, I thought they were never going to finish.
> 
> Barbara


 
i was just thinking today that i had not see you in awhile, barb. where u been? hope all is well


----------



## Dina

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom Barb.  Know that you all are in my prayers.


----------



## LPBeier

I remember going through similar stuff with my Mom's cancer, Barb.  You can't second guess yourself and you can't feel guilty.   Just be there for her as I know you are.  Lots of love, prayers and hugs coming your way.


----------



## texasgirl

love2"Q" said:


> went to the ER yesterday .. did not want to go .. but my regular doctor
> advised me that i should .. i understand that there is going to be a wait ..
> but 6 hours in the waiting room and another 3 in a little room
> while in the worst pain of my life seems a tad long to me ..
> and they would not even give me anything for pain until i had someone there
> to drive me home .. so .. my wife takes the little ones to my moms and comes up
> there .. i tell the triage nurse i have a ride .. she gives me 600mg ibuprofen ..
> what a long day ...



I HATE ER's!!! I feel for you! 
I hope you are feeling better today!!


----------



## babetoo

i am bored, bored bored. don't want to cook, sew or bake. don't even want to read. no clue what this is all about. very restless , maybe it is the wind and fires news

tv does not entice. dc isn't even pulling me in  maybe i should just go to bed and cover my head. lol


----------



## PieSusan

The nursing home that my mom is at is suppose to be one of, if not, the top nursing home in the area but I still have problems dealing with the bureacracy and the errors that I see on a regular basis. I visit my mom daily.


----------



## Barbara L

babetoo said:


> i was just thinking today that i had not see you in awhile, barb. where u been? hope all is well


Not sure if you meant Barb or me, but since you quoted my post I figured I'd better answer!  I've been here pretty much every day.  I just don't always get on until a little later, and I am working on getting some stuff done around the house, so I need to stay off of this thing even more than I have been!  

Barbara


----------



## homecook

PieSusan said:


> The nursing home that my mom is at is suppose to be one of, if not, the top nursing home in the area but I still have problems dealing with the bureacracy and the errors that I see on a regular basis. I visit my mom daily.



Oh wow, I see you're in NE Ohio also. I know of what you speak! You almost have to be their every day to keep on top of things.

Barb


----------



## expatgirl

babetoo said:


> i am bored, bored bored. don't want to cook, sew or bake. don't even want to read. no clue what this is all about. very restless , maybe it is the wind and fires news
> 
> tv does not entice. dc isn't even pulling me in  maybe i should just go to bed and cover my head. lol



I go thru these periods, too..........how about a night out on the town?  maybe a bed and breakfast or a hotel downtown and a nice dinner out......sometimes you just need to get away and charge up again........


----------



## expatgirl

Barbara L said:


> Not sure if you meant Barb or me, but since you quoted my post I figured I'd better answer!  I've been here pretty much every day.  I just don't always get on until a little later, and I am working on getting some stuff done around the house, so I need to stay off of this thing even more than I have been!
> 
> Barbara


  hey, Barbs, I just saw the Traveling Welcome Logo above you picture..........how nice........that's what you did...........now you and Maidrite  need  to come to Houston in the near future......... my.hubby just told me that even though we were supposed to retire in the next year it may be another 5 due to the economy............oh , whoopie...........how thrilled I was...........like wee beasties in my pantry..........whooopie,,,,,,,


----------



## love2"Q"

texasgirl said:


> I HATE ER's!!! I feel for you!
> I hope you are feeling better today!!


feel fine as long as i am on the pain meds ..
but i hate being on them ..


----------



## PieSusan

homecook said:


> Oh wow, I see you're in NE Ohio also. I know of what you speak! You almost have to be their every day to keep on top of things.
> 
> Barb


 
Yes, I visit my mother everyday and this very famous home that gets lots of amazing press is the very one that I visit everyday and adds to the stress that I am under dealing with my mom who has two forms of dementia. There is no support--it is just a business and I am tired of jumping through their hoops. Had I known better, I would have placed my mom with the nuns but this place had such great reputation and is very close to home. Even at the best places, there is a lot of room for improvement. It gets so that I hate walking in the door but the doctors wouldn't let me keep my mom at home anymore. She needed more care than I could give and she kept firing the nursing aides that I had hired for her.


----------



## kadesma

PSusan,
I know how frustrating  nursing home can be. My husband use to service 3 of them..We put up the meds in push out cards for them and was it a pain, not the heat sealing, but dealing with the nurses and all the crap they had to put up with...It was a vicious circle. The nurses tried but all the red tape made it impossible. I wonder who sits on their fanny all day deciding what to fool with. There are so many State rules you could scream...Some I have to admit are beneficial, other down right foolish. So, we end up wanting to pull our hair out and screaming. Makes ya want to cry...And what are these rules for? Our loved ones who have to be there..And who suffers the most? Yes we do a little but our mom's and dad's take the brunt of all this busy work...All they want is comfort, respect,love and good food...Do they get it..sometimes and that's not enough.
kadesma


----------



## expatgirl

my darling sister had my Dad in a private homecare (he had dementia, too)........that Charolotte absolutely allowed you NOT to visit unless you called ahead of time.......it was a private homecare....there were two other men including him and he had enough presence of mind to emphatically say that he hated it and esp. the food....I really don't know how sedated or restrained he was when we were not there..........I questioned the grand poohbah bear about it and she had her nose so out of joint that I backed off.......shouldn't have........really, really shouldn't have......I regret it to this day......he was getting no physical therapy at all.........after he died she took everything.........I mean everything..........should have sued her but was overseas and had teens to run after and just didn't have the time..........years later her daughter bragged to one of my older cousins that her mom made a lot of $$$$.........really?????


----------



## kadesma

expatgirl said:


> my darling sister had my Dad in a private homecare (he had dementia, too)........that Charolotte absolutely allowed you NOT to visit unless you called ahead of time.......it was a private homecare....there were two other men including him and he had enough presence of mind to emphatically say that he hated it and esp. the food....I really don't know how sedated or restrained he was when we were not there..........I questioned the grand poohbah bear about it and she had her nose so out of joint that I backed off.......shouldn't have........really, really shouldn't have......I regret it to this day......he was getting no physical therapy at all.........after he died she took everything.........I mean everything..........should have sued her but was overseas and had teens to run after and just didn't have the time..........years later her daughter bragged to one of my older cousins that her mom made a lot of $$$$.........really?????


Yikes, Debs that is sick...One day she will get what's coming to her in spades..Maybe daughter  will see to it she has such special care in her old age!!!  It's okay Deb, you were doing what was intended for you to do and HE will welcome you with open arms when the time comes...
kades


----------



## expatgirl

kadesma said:


> Yikes, Debs that is sick...One day she will get what's coming to her in spades..Maybe daughter  will see to it she has such special care in her old age!!!  It's okay Deb, you were doing what was intended for you to do and HE will welcome you with open arms when the time comes...
> kades


 you know I didn't think of it that way..........my niece is very materialistic and so it might happen.........I really do hope that there is life after death.........I know that my Dad would be shocked at her..............if she has him to answer to so much the better..........as always, my dear, thanks for your support..........these webs that we weave...........


----------



## homecook

The worse thing about where my mom is are the weekends when they only have a skelton crew of teenagers on duty. My mom is in a separate wing (memory care) and these kids don't know how to handle these people when they get out of hand. My dh, dd and I take turns going on the weekend to make sure everything is being done that is supposed to be done. We always go at different times, so they never know when to expect us. It's the only way to keep on top of things. I've had run-ins with some of the aides during the week but I really have to watch because I don't want them taking it out on my mom. It's a vicious circle.

Barb

P.S. Thank you all again for your thoughts and insight.


----------



## expatgirl

it's hard isn't it????


----------



## LPBeier

I hate to vent once again and I hope I can get the words out through the tears.  This whole mess with the flood is getting ridiculous.  We have fans and dehydrators all over the place and between the noise and having to step around them they are driving us all crazy.  I couldn't sleep last night because of pain in my leg (my own fault for kicking a drawer closed with it out of habit) and all the noise.  So I had a nap today and woke up to find that DH and the border ate my supper plans.  Now that wouldn't normally bother me but my nerves are totally fried.  They still may have to tear out the carpet (some or all) and we have contractors coming tomorrow to see so we can't move any furniture back in place.  I have this thing about my house being in order, specially when I am stressed.

On top of that we are bombarded with fruit flies and I can't find the source and we found out on Thursday that our little dog, who badly needed a hair cut so I mistook his scratching for that, has fleas.  Both our dogs get regular flea treatments and neither the vet or we can figure out why or where they would get them from.  So now I have to deal with both of those situations.

On top of that, my best friend is in a tough way as her youngest (my dear sweet buddy), who has tourettes is having a bad spell and can't go to school.  I am usually his secondary caregiver when the parents can't because he bonds with me so well and I have done respite care before.  But we can't bring him into this turmoil as it will make him worse and I can't leave because of the contractors. So, she will have to take a day off work to be with him and he is upset because he wanted me.  We figure we will take him to MacDonald's for lunch together if it works out.

Add to this that DH is studying for a very important First Aid Exam, the Border is studying for his finals and so I need to keep things as quiet and in order as possible in all this chaos.

I am sorry to always come here and write novels, but I think I am finally at my breaking point and I can't lay all this on DH right now as he has enough on his plate.  He is there for me and understands, but getting this job is very important for both of us so he needs to be able to give it his all.


----------



## kadesma

Laurie,
relax and you are married to an adult not a child..He has to study and learn just like you and I..You cannot always provide the ideal study conditions for him, he needs to do that for himself..As to the mess, you have to cope TOGETHER not you doing it all..TOGETHER..Your border the same goes for him..Yes they have to study, but you are not responsible for their ease and comfort, just to be as helpful as you can but they need to work things themselves..We marry and we either share or it will blow up in our faces..So do what you can and let the big boys do the same...Do you realize you put strain on him if he thinks you are taking on to much? Then how can he sit and study with out guilt? So, do what you can comfortably then retire and relax..As to your friend she is a lucky woman to have your friendship, but, the same goes for her..This is her child and I know that sounds hard, but it's truth and she has to deal with the biggest part of it right now..Were you up to snuff then you could give her more help..Right now you cannot so please don't let guilt make things harder for all of you at home..
Give dh a big hug and get out of his hair. He is a man and he is bright he will get this done and you will all be better in the end.
kades


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks, kades.  I am crying even more now.  I needed that "talking to" and I needed it from you.  I think the biggest thing is that I am just tired of having to deal with everything through pain and lack of sleep.  If I was my normal self this wouldn't get to me so bad.  Also, it is hard throwing out memories as I go through the damaged boxes.  But I feel that TGL allowed this to happen so we would let go of a lot of things and "get our house in order".  Thankfully it did happen while DH is unemployed because I wouldn't have been able to handle it all on my own.

Thanks, again friend.


----------



## kadesma

LPBeier said:


> Thanks, kades.  I am crying even more now.  I needed that "talking to" and I needed it from you.  I think the biggest thing is that I am just tired of having to deal with everything through pain and lack of sleep.  If I was my normal self this wouldn't get to me so bad.  Also, it is hard throwing out memories as I go through the damaged boxes.  But I feel that TGL allowed this to happen so we would let go of a lot of things and "get our house in order".  Thankfully it did happen while DH is unemployed because I wouldn't have been able to handle it all on my own.
> 
> Thanks, again friend.


Sweetie, you shouldn't have to handle it alone..You have a best friend and a dear husband who will run to your side..He loves you so to help you is his gift to your love...I understand the lack of sleep and the pain so I can tell you, it's okay and I also understand how it hurts to lose things you treasure..But HE will provide if you let HIM..Just remember you don't have to handle this on your own, you two will pull together as a team.Get some rest so the pain will lessen and STOP kicking things with your foot..Geez girl, do I have to come sit on ya? It will get better and just lean on us here, cry to us, vent to us..that is why we are here..Hugs to both of you
kades


----------



## deelady

LPBeier said:


> Thanks, kades. I am crying even more now. I needed that "talking to" and I needed it from you. I think the biggest thing is that I am just tired of having to deal with everything through pain and lack of sleep. If I was my normal self this wouldn't get to me so bad. Also, it is hard throwing out memories as I go through the damaged boxes. But I feel that TGL allowed this to happen so we would let go of a lot of things and "get our house in order". Thankfully it did happen while DH is unemployed because I wouldn't have been able to handle it all on my own.
> 
> Thanks, again friend.


 

Can I add in my own hug as well!! {{{{{Big Hug!!}}}}}
I hope things get back to normal very soon for you


----------



## expatgirl

I stand on my original advice.........you and hubby need a night or two away from the house hubbub..........our home downstairs flooded years ago when one of the cats made the laundry take out hose come out.....she jumped on it.....now we have it wired in....water was everywhere and they brought blowers in for 3 days.........I thought that i was going to go crazy from the noise of those $$$$ fans......I hope they told you what they cost or you are really going to get ill if your insurance doesn't pay...we had 3 of them and it cost thousands for 3 days........hey, your immune system doesn't need this added stress.............get away........I promise you that you'll be glad that you did.......I wished that I lived nearby......you could come here ........to get away and decompress............you'd have 2 nosy cats in bed with you but they'd welcome you with open paws........I'm sorry for the additional stress in your life.......do try and get away for a night or two


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks, expat, but unfortunately that will not happen.  With DH being unemployed at the moment and the fact we will be losing the income from our border at the end of the month, plus the fact we have two dogs, we can't just pick up and go to a motel.  It will be all right, I am sure.  A friend who used to live above us owns another unit across the the lane and it is empty as he is trying to sell it.  He said if they are going to rip up the carpets we can "move" over there for a couple of days.  We would just have to take our mattresses and he said the dogs are fine.  So it wouldn't be "away from it all", but at least I might get a good night sleep.


----------



## expatgirl

if you can't get away go and rent a few funny stand up some comedians' tapes (I absolutely adore Robin williams and Carlos Mencius-------yeah,,,,,,,,,there's bad language......but outside of that they are so funny and so spot on about so many things or the Redneck Comedy Team........and they will take your mind off your problems.......make some popcorn have beer on hand and invite your boarder.........he can't study all the time.......you all  need to deflate a bit...........I really do feel for you because I've been there and done that........and it's not fun at all........and I didn't have any of the physical problems that you did except for two mouthy teens and that was  head problems that all parents go thru.......we're past those humps.........


----------



## expatgirl

I know that a few nights ago my leg was killing me with pain..........the cyst was huge an I made the stupid mistake of going to the internet so I was dying of cancer as well (remind me y'all never to do that again) and I was so down and depressed............nothing was lifting my moods until I saw the comedy shows......laughter just releases endomorphins which are a natural mind lifters..........if you can laugh you can endure...............so Laurie rent some funny tapes and laugh and laugh.......you need to ........I wished you lived near me.......we'd go out for lunch and I promise you  that we'd laugh...........but please do rent a few tapes...........I'd send you some of mine but they're in KZ...........please hang in there, Girlfriend


----------



## homecook

Laurie, I'm so sorry for all you're going through right now. I know the frustration of everything coming down on your head and the lack of sleep. It just intensifies every little thing. 
You'll be in my thoughts and prayers that things start to lighten up for you. ((((HUGS))) to you!!

Barb


----------



## Claire

Idiot, idiot, idiot.  Me, not any of you.  After my workout this morning I reached in my pocket ... no keys.  Traced my steps.  Talked to the hospital receptionist, the fitness center/pt receptionist, (my fitness center is in the hospital) and the manager.  Luckily the other women in my class hadn't left yet and one took me home to pick up my husband's set of keys.  Also luckily, I live in a very small, very low-crime town and there really isn't anything on my keychain to match it up with the truck or the house.  So it is more a pain in the patootie than a real danger.  But how can I possibly have lost my keys in such a small area?


----------



## LPBeier

Claire, I have lost my keys so many times and felt they were "gone forever" then found them sometimes months later in the stupidest of places.  It happens.  I feel for you.


----------



## kadesma

Claire said:


> Idiot, idiot, idiot.  Me, not any of you.  After my workout this morning I reached in my pocket ... no keys.  Traced my steps.  Talked to the hospital receptionist, the fitness center/pt receptionist, (my fitness center is in the hospital) and the manager.  Luckily the other women in my class hadn't left yet and one took me home to pick up my husband's set of keys.  Also luckily, I live in a very small, very low-crime town and there really isn't anything on my keychain to match it up with the truck or the house.  So it is more a pain in the patootie than a real danger.  But how can I possibly have lost my keys in such a small area?


Don't be so hard on yourself Claire,we have all done this at sometime in our lives...I find for myself that I get upset and then trying to remember get's fuzzy..So now I go sit down and have a cup of tea or coffee even a soda and just relax I make no effort to try to remember and then I find myself going quietly over my steps..I usually remember and yep there they are right where I set them..In your case some well meaning person most likely picked them up intending to turn them in and has forgotten..In any case..I hope they turn up for you.
kadesma


----------



## Claire

Yeah, I used to lock mine in the car on a regular basis (so often that I kept a wire coat hanger handy back in the days when you could easily break into the car with one!).  It hasn't happened in 20+ years.  The thing is that where I lost them .... there is a very limited area where they can be.  I drove to the hospital.  So they have to be somewhere at the hospital or in the truck itself (husband and I both have searched it).  Oh, well.  Already had the truck key and house key duplicated, still need to do the storm door and the lid to the bed of the truck.  Then get my grocery discount and library card scanners made up.


----------



## expatgirl

please.......keys are a sore issue around here........I have bought more house keys that I've lost count of.........had a really nice outdoors seashell.........looked real........was a hidden key holder........nooooooooooooo............kids can't seem to keep keys in it........always gone..............now the bottom is gone and no keys............thank goodness this afternoon when I came home my daughter in law happened to come at the same time........doors were locked and I had no keys........I am going to scream..........so tomorrow I get some new keys and will NOT tell them where they are outdoors..........they are for ME...


----------



## LPBeier

I have been getting sick over the past few days...mostly my asthma.  I have not been able to control it with inhalers.  DH was getting worried and wanting to take me to the hospital but I have a bit of an aversion to them these days.

OUR insurance adjuster (as opposed to the one who never showed up for the complex) sent a restoration specialist today, five days after the flood.  He was horrified.  He said the fans that the complex's restoration guy put in after cleaning the carpets were actually blowing the bacteria into the air - hence my respiratory problems.  They are coming tonight to rip up all the contaminated carpet and test it and the linoleum in the bathrooms and storage room (where the flood was).

He will then take measurements of the whole house and ALL the carpets, underlay, wood subfloor have to be removed and replaced.  This will happen over the next week.

As for me, I have to leave the house as soon as possible.  The insurance adjuster will also be hiring someone to pack up all our stuff because of my leg and asthma situation.

My vent is, this should all have been done in the first place.  But oh well, it is being done now.

I will be taking my laptop to whereever I go (don't know yet, haven't gotten that far).

Thanks everyone for being there for me and listening to this ongoing horror story.


----------



## pdswife

can you go to your friend's apt upstairs from you??   Or is that too close to the problem?  Will the insurance pay for a hotel?

GOOD LUCK!


----------



## suziquzie

Awwww Laurie! 
I'm sorry you didn't get to kick the first adjuster for real now!!!
Hope you get out and get well soon.


----------



## LPBeier

suziquzie said:


> Awwww Laurie!
> I'm sorry you didn't get to kick the first adjuster for real now!!!
> Hope you get out and get well soon.



No, He is the good guy!  Got this whole thing started!


----------



## homecook

Oh Laurie, that must be terrible breathing in all that yuck with your asthma! There is probably mold growing in the carpet by now. Try to leave there asap! I know it doesn't take long for problems to start. We had a flood here a few years ago and our basement was terrible. All the drywall had to be ripped up and replaced, the carpet replaced and the tile. It only took 2 days for the mold to start. 
Please take care of yourself and do whatever is necessary to find some where else to go. I will be praying for your good health.

Barb


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks, Barb and everyone.  See my post under "Last thing that made me smile"


----------



## expatgirl

Laurie,,,,,,,,I'm so sensitive to molds so I can just imagine what you're going thru......I'm so glad to hear that your hubbie may have cinched the job.......please do get away even if it's for one night.........you both need a night out on the town


----------



## Claire

I feel for you.  Mold is no laughing matter.  A friend had two sons who weren't growing as they should, a sick husband, and a couple of miscarriages before they realized their house had a big, major mold problem (most in our community life in 100+ year old houses).  Insurance wouldn't admit to it, they wound up giving up their house.  Her boys started growing, she had a beautiful healthy little girl.  The house, though, has remained an albatross even though the bank finally sold it to someone else.


----------



## expatgirl

you're right Claire........mold is terrible to live with if you're allergic and I live in one of the moldiest prone cities in the US and that's Houston.......most places just mix in a mold retardant when they give you outdoor paint..........


----------



## PieSusan

My friend who told me to call him and his family any time, that he will be there for me has ignored my phone messages for a week. I do not know what is wrong. I hope that he is not sick.


----------



## babetoo

any thing could have happened. or if he is just shining you, he is not worth having for a friend, since you can't rely on him. 


no vent for me, same old handyman stuff. finally done today and he can move on and mooch off someone else. 

i am a bit tired of hot weather, but heck it could be forty below.


----------



## pdswife

being on hold for 20 minutes...so far... and no end in sight....   

On the good side... I can search DC while I'm waiting to speak to a "real" person!!


----------



## LPBeier

Yes, I have had a lot of that lately.  Do you think there is only one "real" person that answers all the calls and that is why it takes so long?

I have nothing to vent, today is a good day and I am learning to not think past that!


----------



## kadesma

DH and I went to Cost Co today..He decides he wants a hot dog and I just wanted a soda. I was sitting at a table waiting..I hear a racket and all of a sudden two very large boys crashed over the table next to me yelling and shoving ..I tried to get out of their way and one of them hit me on the right side of my body..I didn't go to the ground but ended up on the seat of the table and half way across it.. the person who had brought them said a quick sorry and then made a big deal over the one who knocked me for a loop..The two kids were still scuffeling and yelling at each other and she got into it too. DH and I got the food and put it in the car, went into the store..We spent most of our time dodging the kids and woman who felt she needed to let me know this big strapping boy had skinned his knuckles..He was mentally challenged so I was not about to say anything poor kid was in tears...But that woman needs to take better care of her charges so this kind of thing doesn't happen again..Me, right now I hurt like blazes and my shoulder and arm are starting to turn a beautiful purple..Good night nellie
kadesma


----------



## SierraCook

kadesma, I am so sory to hear about your ordeal.  Make sure that you ice the sore areas and take some ibuprofen to reduce the swelling and inflammation.  People just need to learn some self control and manners.

My turn:

A few weeks ago I sprained my finger or so I thought, now I think I actually broke it.  I went to the doctor and have been doing what she told me, but it is still swollen and hurts like the devil.  Tonight, I tried wrapping it a different way and it seems to feel better.  It is just frustrating that it does not really seem to be showing any improvement.


----------



## expatgirl

it sounds like it's badly sprained.....and  that can be very painful..........soak it in some cold water then warm then end with cold......or start with warm but always end with cold............if you can handle them also use ibuprophen or aspirin.........did they xray it to be sure it wasn't broken? it'll be another week before you'll feel better again......hopefully sooner..........


----------



## kadesma

SierraCook said:


> kadesma, I am so sory to hear about your ordeal.  Make sure that you ice the sore areas and take some ibuprofen to reduce the swelling and inflammation.  People just need to learn some self control and manners.
> 
> My turn:
> 
> A few weeks ago I sprained my finger or so I thought, now I think I actually broke it.  I went to the doctor and have been doing what she told me, but it is still swollen and hurts like the devil.  Tonight, I tried wrapping it a different way and it seems to feel better.  It is just frustrating that it does not really seem to be showing any improvement.


I'll be okay, I just hurt right now, but I know it will get better. I can imagine how your finger hurts..We use our hands so much and as hard as we try to be careful, how can you not bump or hit the finger and make it hurt more..It seems to take forever to heal.  Take care SC, it's so nice to hear from you
kades


----------



## homecook

Ok here's a good one....did you ever trip over "nothing" on the carpet and fall on your face?? I did that earlier today and have rug burns on my knees and I think I broke the big toe on my left foot. It's a beautiful shade of purple, just like your shoulder kads. lol It hurts like the dickens. I don't know how I do these things. Well I guess I don't go bowling tonight. What a klutz!

Barb


----------



## Alix

Holy OUCH! You guys are getting all beat up! Well thats 3 of you that have been injured, maybe that means its all over now. 

Heal fast you three and put your feet up and let someone wait on you for a bit.


----------



## kadesma

homecook said:


> Ok here's a good one....did you ever trip over "nothing" on the carpet and fall on your face?? I did that earlier today and have rug burns on my knees and I think I broke the big toe on my left foot. It's a beautiful shade of purple, just like your shoulder kads. lol It hurts like the dickens. I don't know how I do these things. Well I guess I don't go bowling tonight. What a klutz!
> 
> Barb


Oh Barb,
I bet you are hurting..I'm sorry..We can just be purple and achy togetjer. And to answer your question, i've tripped over all kinds of things even dust bunnies  Feel better
kadesma


----------



## LPBeier

Oh, my goodness!  You three get big {{{{{{hugs}}}}}} from me!  Take care of yourselves.


----------



## pdswife

OK... Ya all know me well enough to know I don't really get mad... sad sometimes.. irratated once in awhile but not ANGRY enough to KILL!!!  Well, I'm pissed!   About THREE months ago  our Mexican condo home owners ***. set the date for this years meeting.  FEB 19TH 2008!  Paul and I bought our airplane tickets..so did everyone else.  We fly in on the 13th and leave the 22nd.  I just got email saying that they've decided to change the meeting date to the 25th of FEB!!!!  They gave a flimsly excuse in the letter but we happen to know people on the board so I know the REAL story ( one of the delevopers, has plans to go to the wedding on the 23rd and wanted the date changed!!!!) Paul has his time off approved already... tickets are bought and are NOT-refundable... we may be able to change them but it's going to cost us$$$!   I'm so angry!!!


----------



## LPBeier

I don't blame you for being angry.  Can you get in contact with others and see if you can all petition or something to keep the date?  Or, just write the board and say that there is no way you can make the meeting if it is changed and sign a proxy or something?  I would be livid.  It isn't like it is a strata meeting that is around the corner from you or something!  No wonder you have a headache!!!!!


----------



## pdswife

We are contacting the board and will file complaints.  I'm sure others will too.  Only a handful of folks live there the rest are flying in from all over the USA and Canada.  There are going to be some really angry people.  We can have other people vote for us but because of recent happenings...it's really important that we are there in person.


----------



## jpmcgrew

So why not have the meeting without him/her after all they are the ones thay can't make it. Why change many peoples plans because of one person, not only that but weddings are planned months ahead they should have known to plan on it. Also what about members that could not it make due to unexpected problems. Maybe the developer can attend by phone or internet webcam.


----------



## pdswife

Jpm.. that's what most of us would like to do...but...the powers that be have spoken...sigh


----------



## suziquzie

fun to be the one legged man in the butt-kicking contest isn't it? 
 
sorry its such a pain.


----------



## homecook

I don't blame you at all for being angry. I'm feeling angry for you. I would be livid! Sorry you're having to go through this. I would definitely register a complaint of some sort.

Barb


----------



## expatgirl

I'd be angry, too, if I had to change tickets that I'm going to have to cough up more money to change  probably close to $200........and try and get new seats.........air travel is getting tighter and tighter  these days and just to suit their last minute arrangements when you already had reservations and now you might have to spend more money on new tickets.........


----------



## pdswife

Thanks Barb!!
Thanks Expat!!

Now that it's morning I've settled down a little.. 

We're still angry but... we've found out that other owners are even worse off than we are over this ( they've already rented their condos out for the NEW DATE!!)  We just have to change our tickets and pay a little money.  They won't be able to come unless they stay in a hotel! How sad is that?


----------



## homecook

That is just not right!! Isn't there some way the owners can be charged with all the extra expenses?? I would be pitching a fit for sure!

Barb


----------



## pdswife

lol.. oh believe me... we are pitching fits!


----------



## LPBeier

oh my, speaking of pitching fits, in one day I have been given two reasons to pitch a big one but I am trying to stay focused and calm.  

We switched cell phone companies a couple of weeks ago because of the lousy service and high prices of our original one.  Our contracts were up and we had every right to do so.  When we got the new ones, DH was able just to keep his number so the new company did the cancellation.  Something happened with mine and I had to get a new number so I had to phone and personally cancel the old one.  We got the bill today and they are charging DH $400 for breaking a contract we didn't have.  But mine was fine.

Second, we got a hand delivered envelope from the management company here with a $300.00 bill for the carpet cleaning that they had done two days after the flood, and for the rental of the fans that caused my serious asthma attack by blowing the contaminants all through the air.  Their reasoning - because we are going through our insurance, and because the said carpets are being ripped up, they shouldn't have to pay for a futile job.  This is not taking into consideration they never called the plulmber until 18 hours after the problem happened and DH and others had to do their own bailing and we lived with the sludge for two days before the carpet was cleaned. 

Needless to say, we are NOT paying either of these bills but on top of everything else, now I have to deal with them both.  

This will end.  There will be a light at the end of the tunnel.  We will have a happily ever after.  Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.....


----------



## texasgirl

bills bills bills. everyone wants money and I don't have any!! I hate this time of year, I REALLY do!! Being unemployed sure didn't help any. Bills, christmas, taxes


----------



## PieSusan

A nursing home staff member opened up her mouth at me yesterday because I asked her if my mom could go to the special program they were having.

She decided not to go but I was really miffed being so disrespected.


----------



## Lefty7887

I am the chairman of or Christmas Party Committee at work and this year the guy that handles our entertainment (DJ) just shot an angry email at me resigning.  What happened was I got an email fro another co-worker offering to help out with the entertainment which I fowarded to the DJ to work it out between them so I wouldn't have to play middle man.  I guess I will have to make it a phone call next time so there will be no misunderstanding.  

UGH why are people so touchy at this time of year? 

End rant...


----------



## PieSusan

Lefty7887 said:


> I am the chairman of or Christmas Party Committee at work and this year the guy that handles our entertainment (DJ) just shot an angry email at me resigning. What happened was I got an email fro another co-worker offering to help out with the entertainment which I fowarded to the DJ to work it out between them so I wouldn't have to play middle man. I guess I will have to make it a phone call next time so there will be no misunderstanding.
> 
> UGH why are people so touchy at this time of year?
> 
> End rant...


 
I think it is the stress of trying to get too much done in too little time and to try to create that elusive perfect holiday. There is a tremendous amount of work that goes into these few days. The economy is bad, bills and taxes are going to be due. And this is the time of year when people who are depressed and lonely have the hardest time. 

Maybe we all should double our efforts to find the true meaning of the holiday season--gratitude, forgiveness, peace and good will towards others.


----------



## jpmcgrew

LPBeier said:


> oh my, speaking of pitching fits, in one day I have been given two reasons to pitch a big one but I am trying to stay focused and calm.
> 
> We switched cell phone companies a couple of weeks ago because of the lousy service and high prices of our original one. Our contracts were up and we had every right to do so. When we got the new ones, DH was able just to keep his number so the new company did the cancellation. Something happened with mine and I had to get a new number so I had to phone and personally cancel the old one. We got the bill today and they are charging DH $400 for breaking a contract we didn't have. But mine was fine.
> 
> Second, we got a hand delivered envelope from the management company here with a $300.00 bill for the carpet cleaning that they had done two days after the flood, and for the rental of the fans that caused my serious asthma attack by blowing the contaminants all through the air. Their reasoning - because we are going through our insurance, and because the said carpets are being ripped up, they shouldn't have to pay for a futile job. This is not taking into consideration they never called the plulmber until 18 hours after the problem happened and DH and others had to do their own bailing and we lived with the sludge for two days before the carpet was cleaned.
> 
> Needless to say, we are NOT paying either of these bills but on top of everything else, now I have to deal with them both.
> 
> This will end. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel. We will have a happily ever after. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.....


 
 You stick to your guns. A lot of people try to squeeze folks over stupidity and greed I have found that most of the time if you argue your side ( in a nice and diplomatic way but firm) they will just let it go.


----------



## LPBeier

jpmcgrew said:


> You stick to your guns. A lot of people try to squeeze folks over stupidity and greed I have found that most of the time if you argue your side ( in a nice and diplomatic way but firm) they will just let it go.



Thanks, JP.  The cell phone company was adamant that we had renewed the contract on the one phone, but we stuck to our guns and after talking to several people got our way.  They made it seem like they were doing us a big favour letting us "get away with something".  We know we were in the right and the main thing is we don't have to pay.

As for the carpet cleaning bill, I got off easy on that one.  I handed it over to our insurance agent and he told them that they could either eat the $300.00 or get stuck with our entire claim.  Guess you can figure out their decision!


----------



## linfinch

That was news to me...about not all scorpions being deadly....good news!  
My vent is that I forgot to take my 20 lb. turkey out of the freezer until late last night, Tuesday, and it is not going to be thawed by tomorrow unless I do something quick.  All the sites I've visited say I have to either take days in the frig or spend hours changing cold water, but if I use the cold water way, I have to cook it immediately after!....I don't want to cook it until tomorrow!  So now I don't know what to do.  Do you suppose I can thaw it half way the cold water way ,and then put it in the frig to defrost the rest of it the slow way and cook it tomorrow? Another vent is that I am new to this website and am having a hard time finding where to ask such questions.


----------



## homecook

Ok, I really, really hate to be venting at this time! Remember last Thursday how I fell "over nothing" and thought I broke my toe? Well it has been bothering me all week to the point where I couldn't sleep at night because the throbbing and pain was keeping me awake. I would lay there and cry it hurt so bad. I know, I'm stubborn.  Well this morning at 8am ds took me to the Emergi Clinic. I broke my toe in two places and also the bone on the side of my foot! Gee, no wonder it hurt. At least now I have good meds for the pain. lol I also have a stylish boot I get to wear. 
Anyway that's not the half of it. All three of my brothers have decided to come home for Thanksgiving! My older brother I don't mind. He will pitch in and help.  The two younger are going to be the death of me. They think they're so good to be coming to see my mom who they haven't seen since June. Don't get me wrong, I love my brothers to death. But my nickname for them is "dumb and dumber". I just don't want to deal with this right now. I am just so frustrated right now. I am roasting a turkey today and then again tomorrow so that I have enough for leftovers. Dh and ds couldn't survive without leftovers.  
I'm done now, I just need to get this off my chest before tomorrow. I will get through this and try my best to enjoy the day. 

Barb


----------



## LPBeier

linfinch said:


> That was news to me...about not all scorpions being deadly....good news!
> My vent is that I forgot to take my 20 lb. turkey out of the freezer until late last night, Tuesday, and it is not going to be thawed by tomorrow unless I do something quick.  All the sites I've visited say I have to either take days in the frig or spend hours changing cold water, but if I use the cold water way, I have to cook it immediately after!....I don't want to cook it until tomorrow!  So now I don't know what to do.  Do you suppose I can thaw it half way the cold water way ,and then put it in the frig to defrost the rest of it the slow way and cook it tomorrow? Another vent is that I am new to this website and am having a hard time finding where to ask such questions.



I have put a message on your user control panel.  You will see a link in the top right corner of your screen under "your notifications", or you can link to it in the top blue menu, second in called "User CP".


----------



## kadesma

I have been pretty ill the last 3-4 days and now at least the pain is gone..It was so bad that pin meds didn't touch it. Now I need to get stuffing made and cranberry sauce..DH Is going shopping for me now and in the last 15 minutes he has asked me at least 30 questions, what size garbanzo beans, what brand, do you want canned cranberries,? Nope get the fresh so I can cook them, on and on and on..Right this minute I could just scream..I'm weak as hell and don't even want to do this..Am I being a poop or what? While he is gone I'm going to try and nap for a few minutes...My daughter should be here soon and I know she will help but it will be another round of questions..What I wouldn't give to hide for a week..Thanks for listening guys..hugs,
kades


----------



## pdswife

oh Kades... I'm sorry.   I wish I could help... I'd just have to ask more questions though. Or just take over and do it my way which wouldn't really be too nice either.  Well...know that you are loved and that I'm thinking of you!

smiles, T


----------



## LPBeier

Kades, I will be PM'ing you momentarily, but I just want to say I know your frustration and wish I could come and just cook the meal for you.  I wouldn't have to ask you a single question and would find my own way around your kitchen.  You could just have a nap or sit back with a cup of tea and relax.  Prayers going up!


----------



## homecook

kadesma said:


> I have been pretty ill the last 3-4 days and now at least the pain is gone..It was so bad that pin meds didn't touch it. Now I need to get stuffing made and cranberry sauce..DH Is going shopping for me now and in the last 15 minutes he has asked me at least 30 questions, what size garbanzo beans, what brand, do you want canned cranberries,? Nope get the fresh so I can cook them, on and on and on..Right this minute I could just scream..I'm weak as hell and don't even want to do this..Am I being a poop or what? While he is gone I'm going to try and nap for a few minutes...My daughter should be here soon and I know she will help but it will be another round of questions..What I wouldn't give to hide for a week..Thanks for listening guys..hugs,
> kades



Oh kades, I know the frustration! I just sent dh out for the day, I couldn't stand being asked what needed to be done. I would tell him and I would get 20 questions.......what's so hard about cleaning a bathroom. lol Fortunately my dd is coming over to help. She knows what needs to be done. I hope things go better for you today. HUGS

Barb


----------



## suziquzie

Kades I'm so sorry!!! I wish I lived closer.... 
I even bought 3 bags of cranberries just to stick in the freezer to hoard til next fall when I buy 3 more!!!!
 
I want nothing more than for a wonderful person to be finished with the pain and sickness. 
You, in my book, are the best of the best.


----------



## PanchoHambre

argh my cat just knocked over my favorite bowl... it wasnt valueable it was a bright orange vintage pyrex mixing bowl I really liked... this is the third pet victim of my vintage cookware... which is why I buy cheap... Of course it shattered into a million pieces which I thought I got... swept, vaccumed, mopped and still I just found a big chunk in my dogs mouth... he will chew on ANYTHING!


----------



## PieSusan

I have had a weepy day--all my mom wanted to do was sleep during my visit. It is so hard to deal with dementia.


----------



## texasgirl

cj, it's time for the foot!! You rest and let everyone else do it this year, darn it!!


----------



## Barbara L

linfinch said:


> ...Another vent is that I am new to this website and am having a hard time finding where to ask such questions.


As you can see from Laurie's response, we have a lot of very helpful people here!  Spend a little time looking over the index.  You will see that we have a forum for poultry, and we also have one on food safety.  



homecook said:


> ...I'm done now, I just need to get this off my chest before tomorrow. I will get through this and try my best to enjoy the day.
> 
> Barb


Ouch, on all accounts!  I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.  Take care of that foot, even if it means making them take you out for Thanksgiving dinner this year!  Or you could plunk yourself into your favorite chair, put your foot up, and pass out some aprons and recipes!



kadesma said:


> I have been pretty ill the last 3-4 days and now at least the pain is gone..It was so bad that pin meds didn't touch it. Now I need to get stuffing made and cranberry sauce..DH Is going shopping for me now and in the last 15 minutes he has asked me at least 30 questions, what size garbanzo beans, what brand, do you want canned cranberries,? Nope get the fresh so I can cook them, on and on and on..Right this minute I could just scream..I'm weak as hell and don't even want to do this..Am I being a poop or what? While he is gone I'm going to try and nap for a few minutes...My daughter should be here soon and I know she will help but it will be another round of questions..What I wouldn't give to hide for a week..Thanks for listening guys..hugs,
> kades


No you are not being a poop.  I'll give you the same advice--sit down and pass out aprons and recipes.  You don't feel well, and this year you should sit down and relax (I know, I know!) and let them wait on you for a change.



LPBeier said:


> I have put a message on your user control panel. You will see a link in the top right corner of your screen under "your notifications", or you can link to it in the top blue menu, second in called "User CP".


Thank you for being so helpful Laurie!  

Barbara


----------



## luvs

i fell on a sidewalk. ouch!!! my knee smarts!!
i was kinda embarrassed...


----------



## Barbara L

luvs said:


> i fell on a sidewalk. ouch!!! my knee smarts!!
> i was kinda embarrassed...


I hope you feel better!  Did you give that, "I meant to do that" look that we all seem to do when we do things like that?  I remember hitting a patch of ice and falling in someone's driveway in Minnesota.  I would have preferred sitting there for at least 30 seconds crying and feeling sorry for myself, but of course I got up with that sheepish look on my face, and walked on!  

Barbara


----------



## luvs

Barbara L said:


> I hope you feel better! Did you give that, "I meant to do that" look that we all seem to do when we do things like that? I remember hitting a patch of ice and falling in someone's driveway in Minnesota. I would have preferred sitting there for at least 30 seconds crying and feeling sorry for myself, but of course I got up with that sheepish look on my face, and walked on!
> 
> Barbara


 

i found my way to my feet & could barely look aroud. right on our busiest street, too, where i live. sigh.


----------



## QSis

PanchoHambre said:


> argh my cat just knocked over my favorite bowl... it wasnt valueable it was a bright orange vintage pyrex mixing bowl I really liked... this is the third pet victim of my vintage cookware... which is why I buy cheap... Of course it shattered into a million pieces which I thought I got... swept, vaccumed, mopped and still I just found a big chunk in my dogs mouth... he will chew on ANYTHING!


 
Bummer, Pancho!  Ebay has some orange ones, and a few of them are vintage.  Affordable, though.

Lee


----------



## QSis

PieSusan said:


> I have had a weepy day--all my mom wanted to do was sleep during my visit. It is so hard to deal with dementia.


 
Awww, Susan, I'm so sorry.  I know, it's VERY difficult.

I hope tomorrow will be a better day for you.

Lee


----------



## Barbara L

PieSusan said:


> I have had a weepy day--all my mom wanted to do was sleep during my visit. It is so hard to deal with dementia.


I didn't see this because it switched to another page while I was posting.

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this.  It has to be so hard for you.  You have my prayers sweetie.  

Barbara


----------



## PieSusan

I have seen far to much illness while caring for my parents. My father had such an ugly death--it was so unfair as he was such a kind, generous and giving person. I hated watching him suffer and now, I am watching a different kind of ugly death. 12 years of caregiving is a verylong long.


----------



## kadesma

PieSusan said:


> I have seen far to much illness while caring for my parents. My father had such an ugly death--it was so unfair as he was such a kind, generous and giving person. I hated watching him suffer and now, I am watching a different kind of ugly death. 12 years of caregiving is a verylong long.


PS,
I know your pain..Both my parents are gone now, but it was hard trying to take care of them...Let mom sleep sweetie and just sit and look at her and the peace on her face as she rests..Be glad she isn't suffering as she sleeps.  Prayers and good thoughts for you and her.

kadesma


----------



## Saphellae

I just had a pretty bad day at work, starting a half hour into it. It didn't really stop until I got home at 7:30. Hopefully tomorrow is better, but I'm skeptical as it seems to be a long term issue.


----------



## PanchoHambre

PieSusan said:


> I have seen far to much illness while caring for my parents. My father had such an ugly death--it was so unfair as he was such a kind, generous and giving person. I hated watching him suffer and now, I am watching a different kind of ugly death. 12 years of caregiving is a verylong long.



Its tough Susan...  at least your loved ones do have someone there for them. I have watched so many variations of this with my Grandparents generation and see the toll it takes/took on my parents.... It is hard for me to think about them being in that situation because they are still so youthful and are the people I rely on for support.  To turn the tables will be a tough one. I hope I am patient as they are. My surviving grandmother basically exerts a reign of terror over her childen totally unintentionally but they all constantly scrable to take care of her every need and she just does not see it. She is the opposite of your situation... she is alert and sharp but physically unable to do things so she is angry and thus mean.


----------



## mr_misanthropy

I'm staying with my dad and step mother for Thanksgiving.  All the rest of the attendees will be my step mother's family... it is going to be awkward, and I'm afraid I'll screw up my stuffing.  I didn't bring enough medication for this!!


----------



## Barbara L

mr_misanthropy said:


> I'm staying with my dad and step mother for Thanksgiving. All the rest of the attendees will be my step mother's family... it is going to be awkward, and I'm afraid I'll screw up my stuffing. I didn't bring enough medication for this!!


You could put it in the stuffing!  J/K!  I hope all goes well!

Barbara


----------



## homecook

PieSusan said:


> I have had a weepy day--all my mom wanted to do was sleep during my visit. It is so hard to deal with dementia.



Oh Susan, I'm so sorry! I hate what this does to families. I'll be bringing my mom here for dinner, but she doesn't enjoy it very much any more. She doesn't like being out of her routine at the home. It is so sad!
Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you......

Barb


----------



## LPBeier

Saphellae said:


> I just had a pretty bad day at work, starting a half hour into it. It didn't really stop until I got home at 7:30. Hopefully tomorrow is better, but I'm skeptical as it seems to be a long term issue.



Saph, I know you are already at work (and well into your day) today, but when you get this know that I have had you in my thoughts and hoping that things will get easier.  Just think of all the good things happening in your life right now and that will help.


----------



## scoobagirl

wishing you all blessings today. missing my parents and the family we once were... this our "new" normal - spending the day with friends and we are grateful for them. Treasure your precious memories. Today may not be what you wanted it to be, but its what you make of it that counts.  (((hugs))) to you all, friends. 

And tomorrow - is a new day.


----------



## PieSusan

scoobagirl said:


> wishing you all blessings today. missing my parents and the family we once were... this our "new" normal - spending the day with friends and we are grateful for them. Treasure your precious memories. Today may not be what you wanted it to be, but its what you make of it that counts. (((hugs))) to you all, friends.
> 
> And tomorrow - is a new day.


 
scoobagirl, I couldn't have said it better! Hugs to you on this Thanksgiving day.


----------



## babetoo

luvs said:


> i fell on a sidewalk. ouch!!! my knee smarts!!
> i was kinda embarrassed...


 

i fell stepping off the curb at the mall. and i know how u felt. embrassed me as well. and so did all the attention resulting from it.


----------



## texasgirl

Going to my nieces house, following mapquest directions. One of the main roads that we were suppose to turn at the intersection, did not have signs, so, kept going. Sadly, thank you TXDOT, there was a one vehicle accident one road up, about 7 cop cars, we think maybe it was a chase that ended there. The van was on it's side, tilted just enough that you could see the driver window and the drivers head laying there. He had died. I cannot get that out of my head. I'm so sad to know that this man died like that and on Thanksgiving. My nephew had gone to the store and by the time he saw it, they had cut the top off and there was 2 people draped, so, 2 people died. We had gone about 10 miles before turning around to find my niece's house and they had the road completely shut off then, thankfully. sorry, it's a downer, but, I needed it out. I'm so sad for them.


----------



## babetoo

sorry you had to see that.


----------



## scoobagirl

texasgirl, I am so sorry. I have driven up on fatal accidents and the images haunt you for awhile.  It is so tragic. (((hugs))) Its good to get it off your chest.


----------



## LPBeier

Texagirl, I feel for your pain right now.  The other day I was leaving physio, which is in the hospital, and to get to where my ride picks me up I have to go down this ramp and on it is a door that on the outside says "coroner's entrance".  In the 8 weeks I have been going there I have gotten an eerie feeling about the door but didn't think much of it.  Until Tuesday, when a man in a dark suit was wheeling the stretcher to the door with a large maroon bag on it.  I knew what was inside, and like you I just felt very sad.  It bothered me all day and when DH got home from work that nigh I had to tell him and I cried.

I am really glad you shared and I am sending big {{{hugs}}} to you.  Try to focus on the fact you were with family today.  You are loved by them and you are loved by all of us here.


----------



## Saphellae

That must have been hard, Stacy.  I'm sorry you had to see it.  I saw many things when I drove back and forth between here and Montreal last winter, once the roads were awful (many times they were, but this time...) and a vehicle had slipped off the highway into the middle and flipped several times.. that is enough to scare the bejesus out of you while you are driving in bad weather.. also I think it was a family.. I prayed they were all OK.

I also saw a half frozen dead deer on the side of the road once, that was pretty gross...


----------



## texasgirl

I still can't get it out of my mind. I am going to try today as it's time to listen to my Christmas music and put up my decorations. Thanks for letting me tell it.


----------



## PieSusan

I am so tired of sockpuppets, shenanigans, snarkiness and people who use the Internet as a way to "kick the dog" without having to deal with the real issues and people in their lives that are making them so unhappy. It is so disheartening to see that anonymity gives people the excuse to behave so poorly or to lie.


----------



## texasgirl

PieSusan said:


> I am so tired of sockpuppets, shenanigans, snarkiness and people who use the Internet as a way to "kick the dog" without having to deal with the real issues and people in their lives that are making them so unhappy. It is so disheartening to see that anonymity gives people the excuse to behave so poorly or to lie.


WOW, ps, I really hope that you are not having any trouble here. If so, talk to one of the mods. They are so very very helpful!!


----------



## Barbara L

Stacy, I'm sorry you had to see that, as well.  It's not easy.



PieSusan said:


> I am so tired of sockpuppets, shenanigans, snarkiness and people who use the Internet as a way to "kick the dog" without having to deal with the real issues and people in their lives that are making them so unhappy. It is so disheartening to see that anonymity gives people the excuse to behave so poorly or to lie.


I know what you mean Susan.  Also, a lot of people seem to think that they are just playing a video game rather than realizing that they are dealing with real people.  We have been fortunate to have met several of our online friends (including 17 DC members) in person, and I am kind of proud that one of the comments we heard the most is that we are the same in person as we are online.  I believe it is important for us all to remember that we are talking to real people, not just video game characters.  Truth and respect are important in person and online.

Barbara


----------



## PieSusan

texasgirl, I am sorry I should have been clearer that my comment had nothing to do with this board but everything to do with why I came over. I still pop over at the old one but I imagine in time, I won't bother anymore. I just hate to lose some of my online friends from there.


----------



## texasgirl

PieSusan said:


> texasgirl, I am sorry I should have been clearer that my comment had nothing to do with this board but everything to do with why I came over. I still pop over at the old one but I imagine in time, I won't bother anymore. I just hate to lose some of my online friends from there.



you can always tell them about us, but, make sure they aren't the pains in the rear


----------



## texasgirl

The one thing I dread about getting with family during the holidays....the giving of the germs!! I am nauseated, bad headache and freezing today. I felt better when I ate something and took an hour nap, or I thought I did, until it showed up again. BLAH!!! I hope it's over quickly, hate being nauseated.


----------



## PieSusan

texasgirl said:


> The one thing I dread about getting with family during the holidays....the giving of the germs!! I am nauseated, bad headache and freezing today. I felt better when I ate something and took an hour nap, or I thought I did, until it showed up again. BLAH!!! I hope it's over quickly, hate being nauseated.


 
I hope you feel better soon. I suffered a terrible reaction to the flu shot this year. It may mean that it is my last one.


----------



## scoobagirl

((texas girl)) hugs, hope you feel better soon, being sick is the pits. I'm sorry. Wish I could bring you some crackers and sweet tea.


----------



## Barbara L

I hope you feel better soon Stacy.  You know, don't you, that lots of very strong garlic is the best prevention for getting sick?  It doesn't really do anything, but no one will get near you!  

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

here's wrapping you in a very warm fuzzy blanket, Stacy, and hoping that you feel better soon.........if it's the flu or a virus of some kind all you can do is treat the symptoms......aspirin for fever and aches or ibuprofen if you can tolerate it......a nice ice pack for the headache does wonders.......bedrest and some mild chicken soup for the nausea......do see the doctor if it gets worse........keep us posted........


----------



## texasgirl

Thank you, that is too sweet of ya'll.
Barbara, sounds good to me, hehe


----------



## LPBeier

Stacy, warm {{{{hugs}}}} and positive thoughts that you will feel better soon.


----------



## Mama

Hope you feel better soon Stacy!


----------



## miniman

Hope you get better soon Stacy. Have a quiet day. We are a bit like that over here DW and I are full of cold and she has nearly lost her voice. Youngest looked like he was coming down with it yesterday.


----------



## LPBeier

Miniman, I wish you and your family good health.  I hope that everyone who is feeling this cold/flu that is going around feels better soon.  Being sick any time is not fun, but specially this time of year when everyone is so busy.


----------



## Barbara L

I hope you and your family feel better very soon miniman.  

Barbara


----------



## homecook

Wow! I've been gone for a few days and I'm so sorry to hear how many people are getting this flu......I hope you're all on the road to recovery and starting to feel better. Get well texasgirl and miniman and any one else that is feeling under the weather!

Barb


----------



## texasgirl

I hope you all feel better soon miniman!!


----------



## Mama

I hope you feel better too Miniman!


----------



## miniman

Thank you for your good wishes. I feel better and coped with work today. DW worked from home. She told me she phoned her team leader at one point but before she could speak, had a coughing fit. The team leader said "Hello Debbie" without her talking at all.


----------



## africhef

This is bad time of year for us, the first without our beloved Sinjin January 14th it will be one year. On top of all this grief our 13 year old who witnessed his little brothers death is having a very hard time, I now have to home school him he is getting counseling but the poor kid is suffering and can sometimes only express it with anger. Sometimes I just want to give up, every day is a trial in itself.


----------



## Lefty7887

I worked 28 hours in the last 2 days, and have 13 on the schedule for today.  Ugh I am soooooooo tired.  I must take Friday off.


----------



## Barbara L

africhef said:


> This is bad time of year for us, the first without our beloved Sinjin January 14th it will be one year. On top of all this grief our 13 year old who witnessed his little brothers death is having a very hard time, I now have to home school him he is getting counseling but the poor kid is suffering and can sometimes only express it with anger. Sometimes I just want to give up, every day is a trial in itself.


I cannot begin to understand what you have gone through this year, but I can pray for you and your 13-year-old.  Take some time now and then to cry and remember Sinjin, but don't give up.  Your other son needs you.  Be strong for him, but don't hide all your tears and feelings--he needs to know that you are feeling the same things he is feeling.  Remember we are here any time you need to vent.

Thank you for sharing your website with us.  

Barbara


----------



## babetoo

my beautiful tree has been scalped. apparently it belongs to the mobile home park. i had it trimmed by my handyman. in no way was it a problem for anyone. the tree trimmers, butchers, is more like it, whacked it. all the beautiful branches gone. shade value gone. mine was not the only one. what they used as a guide line is really stupid. i am just sick over it and the manager here doesn't seem to care one whit. they cut it yesterday and i am still angry today.


----------



## deelady

africhef said:


> This is bad time of year for us, the first without our beloved Sinjin January 14th it will be one year. On top of all this grief our 13 year old who witnessed his little brothers death is having a very hard time, I now have to home school him he is getting counseling but the poor kid is suffering and can sometimes only express it with anger. Sometimes I just want to give up, every day is a trial in itself.


 

Prayers being sent to you and your family!


----------



## texasgirl

africhef said:


> This is bad time of year for us, the first without our beloved Sinjin January 14th it will be one year. On top of all this grief our 13 year old who witnessed his little brothers death is having a very hard time, I now have to home school him he is getting counseling but the poor kid is suffering and can sometimes only express it with anger. Sometimes I just want to give up, every day is a trial in itself.



I have no idea what you are going through. The pain of what you have lost and now the pain of his brother is suffering. I can only give you prayer and wish you and your little guy peace and love and you are definitely getting that wish from me!!


----------



## smoke king

Same goes for me africhef. You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## Dina

Africhef,
My heart goes out to you and your son.  I will be praying that you both find inner peace.  I'm so sorry for your loss.


----------



## kadesma

Little children are for me what life is about...You and your son will be in my thoughts and prayers..Please know you are deeply loved
kadesma


----------



## LPBeier

Africhef, my heart goes out to you and your family.  You are in our prayers.


----------



## LPBeier

babetoo said:


> my beautiful tree has been scalped. apparently it belongs to the mobile home park. i had it trimmed by my handyman. in no way was it a problem for anyone. the tree trimmers, butchers, is more like it, whacked it. all the beautiful branches gone. shade value gone. mine was not the only one. what they used as a guide line is really stupid. i am just sick over it and the manager here doesn't seem to care one whit. they cut it yesterday and i am still angry today.



Babe, I totally understand.  DH and I got married under an apple tree which was actually in the next yard, but half of it hung over our fence and we had permission of the owners to have all the apples we wanted.  About 3 years after we were married the house was sold and I looked out the kitchen window so find that our beloved (and perfectly healthy) apple tree was gone.  They cut it off at the level of our fence leaving a stupid 4 foot stump with no branches.  I hope your tree will grow back, though it will take time.


----------



## PieSusan

Africhef, my thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. Words escape me and I wish I had some magical soothing balm to heal you and your family. Love is the glue that binds. Keeps those you love and who you love close by.
(((((Africhef)))))
Pie Susan


----------



## africhef

Thank you guys. Yesterday I removed my son from the school system. We are going to home school him. You should see the relief on his face. He is actually smiling and hugging and kissing me, now that is a lot coming from a macho 13yr old.


----------



## texasgirl

africhef said:


> Thank you guys. Yesterday I removed my son from the school system. We are going to home school him. You should see the relief on his face. He is actually smiling and hugging and kissing me, now that is a lot coming from a macho 13yr old.



Was your son being tormented? That is what it sounds like anyway. Boys don't tell anyone, just let it fester. Maybe that is where the anger was coming from??


----------



## expatgirl

LPBeier said:


> Babe, I totally understand.  DH and I got married under an apple tree which was actually in the next yard, but half of it hung over our fence and we had permission of the owners to have all the apples we wanted.  About 3 years after we were married the house was sold and I looked out the kitchen window so find that our beloved (and perfectly healthy) apple tree was gone.  They cut it off at the level of our fence leaving a stupid 4 foot stump with no branches.  I hope your tree will grow back, though it will take time.



oh, Laurie and Babe, doesn't that just make you sick?  Where we lived in Cairo there were so few green areas but there was a beautiful tree that reached to the second floor of our apt. building........one afternoon several of us came home at the same time to discover to our horror that the tree was being hacked to pieces.....already half the tree was gone and the guy kept sawing away.......we screamed at him to stop and get out of the tree....luckily one of the wives spoke Arabic and she immediately called a nature activist who lived one building over and she really went after the resident of our apt. building who already had two parking spaces in the garage under the building but he decided to park his Mercedes under that tree and a few leaves fell on it......that's when he hired this guy to hack it down......when we found that out we were ready to tar and leaf him.....he had to pay a fine (a trifle amt to him) as there was an ordinance in place but the beautiful tree was butchered.....made us sick......


----------



## babetoo

silly me, i thought we were supposed to think green. well my tree was certainly green. just think  of all the oxygen it made. sad, sad, me


----------



## pdswife

OH NO!  The weather man just mentioned SNOW for the first time this year.  I'm sure the whole city is getting ready to shut down.  lol!!


----------



## suziquzie

I wish snow would shut down this town and the surrounding 200 miles or so....

and that's all I have to say about that......


----------



## kadesma

suziquzie said:


> I wish snow would shut down this town and the surrounding 200 miles or so....
> 
> and that's all I have to say about that......


What's up Suzi? Are you okay? Can I help?

kades


----------



## suziquzie

No I'm ok.... 
I think...
DH drives a truck overnights and will be in the worst band of snow all night long. 
makes me crazy I worry too much. He's an excellent driver, never had an accident, but since what happened with his sister (snowy car accident) I just dont handle the thought of snow driving well at all. 
Thanks for asking though. My nails are all chewed off and he's only been gone an hour!


----------



## kadesma

suziquzie said:


> No I'm ok....
> I think...
> DH drives a truck overnights and will be in the worst band of snow all night long.
> makes me crazy I worry too much. He's an excellent driver, never had an accident, but since what happened with his sister (snowy car accident) I just dont handle the thought of snow driving well at all.
> Thanks for asking though. My nails are all chewed off and he's only been gone an hour!


Suzi,
get the kids to sleep, get some tea or cocoa and a cookie, sit and sip them and let your body relax a little, then close your eyes and and ask for protection for your dh..it will be given.....I will do the same and I'm sure any of our DC family who reads this will join in and we will form a circle of love and warmth.
kades


----------



## PieSusan

Sometimes stress can not only tire me out but make me feel like I am the one with dementia. I can be forgetful. So please forgive me if I repost the same recipe twice. Health issues are some of the hardest ones to deal with and I am doing my best to learn to relax and and accept what is happening to my mom. It just is so painful to watch someone who had a memory like an elephant forget so much. I am losing my mother slowly over time and there is nothing that I can do about it and it hurts. It not only hurts to see my mom decline but it also hurts to see her friends at the nursing home decline as well. In 2-1/2 years many have died or have been moved to a lowering functioning unit--or even hospice. It is just so sad. I have to gather my courage every day when I visit my mom because I do not know what I will face. Sigh.


----------



## Barbara L

Suzi, I am praying for your husband's safety.  I am also praying for you, that you can feel a sense of peace.

Susan, I am praying for you and for your mother.  

Barbara


----------



## texasgirl

Suzie, my prayers are with you!!

Susan, my prayers are with you also!!


----------



## PieSusan

Thanks for all the prayers, BarbaraL and texasgirl. I can use all the help I can get.
Hugs, Susan


----------



## LPBeier

Suzi, I have been praying for your hubby since you first mentioned your fears and will continue to do so.  Just realize that the more he sees your stress, the more he will be stressed driving because he will be worrying about you.  I have been watching the weather reports in your area and will continue to pray accordingly.  {{{{hugs}}}} to you and your family.

Susan, I totally understand your situation.  DH's grandmother had dementia and was in a home.  I watched his mom care for her every day and how it affected her.  When they were away I would make it a point to go visit Grandma as much as I could and it was completely draining even though I wasn't the primary care giver.  I loved being with her but it was hard at the same time.  I am praying for both of you as well.  

Thank you both for sharing your struggles with us.  I have learned from  my own situations that this is a very caring place to be.


----------



## suziquzie

Thanks everyone, just thought I should tell you it worked.
 
He got thru, had some brake trouble but thankfully not until he was stopping for fuel anyway..... that's some very special angel at work if you ask me! I think it was his Dad and sister....

Anyway he's home, 4 1/2 hours late, but happily snowblowing the driveway. 
I think I'll go make him some cocoa.


----------



## pdswife

Good to know Suzi!!  Now both of you can get some rest!


----------



## homecook

Stupid vent. lol UPS delivers a package. The garage door is wide open. It's raining cats and dogs. Where does he leave the package?? In front of the front door.............which is right next to the open garage door!!!! It's a good thing we were home to get it right away. GGrrrrrrr

Barb


----------



## LPBeier

They called today to take out our hepa filters and I have been silent and patient through this whole flood ordeal but have had enough.  I very calmly told them that they could take the dehumidifier and ONE air filter but they were to leave us with one, sanitize the walls, take out the vanities and remove the rest of the flooring so I can call them to put the walls back up and so I can breathe properly for once.  I also told our management company that the excuses they were making for the rotting joists were not cutting it but it is their building and if they want it to fall down then go ahead and leave them.  They will be fixed tomorrow.

What was that line from that movie?  I am mad as **** and I am not going to take it any more!


----------



## kadesma

LPBeier said:


> They called today to take out our hepa filters and I have been silent and patient through this whole flood ordeal but have had enough.  I very calmly told them that they could take the dehumidifier and ONE air filter but they were to leave us with one, sanitize the walls, take out the vanities and remove the rest of the flooring so I can call them to put the walls back up and so I can breathe properly for once.  I also told our management company that the excuses they were making for the rotting joists were not cutting it but it is their building and if they want it to fall down then go ahead and leave them.  They will be fixed tomorrow.
> 
> What was that line from that movie?  I am mad as **** and I am not going to take it any more!


Good girl, hard as it is we have to stand up and say no more..No one else cares one way or the other as long as it's not something that gets in their way..So you go girl and keep on those boxing glubs as Carson would say
kades


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks, Kades.  Now if I can stick to my guns with the doctor about letting me keep on trying to straighten my leg on my own without needles, hospitals and "passive motion machines" I will be batting 1000!  I am tired of posting in the venting thread.  I am ready for the celebration one!


----------



## LPBeier

homecook said:


> Stupid vent. lol UPS delivers a package. The garage door is wide open. It's raining cats and dogs. Where does he leave the package?? In front of the front door.............which is right next to the open garage door!!!! It's a good thing we were home to get it right away. GGrrrrrrr
> 
> Barb



Barb, once they came to our door that had a big sign on it that said "knock on the garage door as that is where we are.  We came out to find one of their "we called but you were out" notices....stuck right over top of ours!


----------



## pdswife

OH Goodness!  Laurie...will it ever end?


----------



## LPBeier

pdswife said:


> OH Goodness!  Laurie...will it ever end?



Now that I have my confidence and determination, it will end VERY soon!


----------



## pdswife

Kick them in their butts with that new knee of yours! ( don't hurt yourself though!!!)


----------



## suziquzie

YES!!! I vote KICKING!!!!


----------



## scoobagirl

just commiserating with you guys over the packages left outside and crappy workers leaving jobs half-done.  been there done that.  ((hugs))

if you could say a prayer for my 25-yr old son this afternoon??? He's having oral surgery to remove his wisdom teeth _and_ an abscessed molar (yes, 5 teeth in all) at 2:00 pm Alaska time. Obviously I'm a long way from him and feeling lost that I can't do anything for him. His wife is a RN and will give him excellent care but don'tcha know it isn't like having your momma there.  

thanks y'all.


----------



## pdswife

happy thoughts will be sent to him!  OUCH!!!!


----------



## Barbara L

homecook said:


> Stupid vent. lol UPS delivers a package. The garage door is wide open. It's raining cats and dogs. Where does he leave the package?? In front of the front door.............which is right next to the open garage door!!!! It's a good thing we were home to get it right away. GGrrrrrrr
> 
> Barb


I know what you mean! Ours likes to leave things on the front steps, right in front of the door. This means, of course, that if I am in the house, to get the package I often have to push it from the top step with the door. Hopefully they will never leave anything fragile there.

Last December James bought me two pairs of shoes for Christmas. UPS left the package on the steps while I was gone. When I came home I found the box and shoes torn up (dogs across the road) and strewn all over the yard.

Our mail carrier knows to leave packages in one of our cars if we aren't here, and the others say they will, but so far they haven't.

Barbara


----------



## Barbara L

On top of really bad kidney stone pain this week (going through Hydrocodone practically like candy), my cellulitis is flaring up again.    I am back on two antibiotics and had an antibiotic shot today.  

Unrelated to those, and not a vent (it just goes along with the doctor visit), the doctor switched me back to my old blood pressure medicine, since my heart has been racing a lot right after I go to bed. 

Pain, pain, go away.  Don't come back on any day!

Barbara


----------



## kadesma

Barbara L said:


> On top of really bad kidney stone pain this week (going through Hydrocodone practically like candy), my cellulitis is flaring up again.    I am back on two antibiotics and had an antibiotic shot today.
> 
> Unrelated to those, and not a vent (it just goes along with the doctor visit), the doctor switched me back to my old blood pressure medicine, since my heart has been racing a lot right after I go to bed.
> 
> Pain, pain, go away.  Don't come back on any day!
> 
> Barbara


Barb,
get off your feet or else...Santa is watching  I guess I better have a talk with James and see what we can do to get you better...Really sweetie, please take it easy on yourself.
kades


----------



## texasgirl

Rude people, enough said.


----------



## LPBeier

Barbara, I agree with Kades.  Please rest.  Please try to illiminate stress and Please get better soon.  I am praying for relief for you.


----------



## kadesma

texasgirl said:


> Rude people, enough said.


Hey Stacy, someone rude to you?  Want me to box their ears?
kades


----------



## LPBeier

Well I am back in the venting column but it is not about me.  There is a young couple who are very dear to us.  I have known the husband since he was 10 and is now 24 with a family of his own.  His wife is pure joy...I catered there entire wedding and for those who have seen my daisy wedding cake, it was for her.  She brought an adorable little (then) 2 year old into the marriage and he is now four. He is such a go-getter which is amazing because he only has 1 1/2 legs.  Last week he had surgery to remove what they call his "little foot" (basically a heel and 3 toes on the end of the deformed leg) so that they can make a better prothesis and eventually get him one with a knee. 

It took a lot for the couple to decide on the surgery because all that could go right or wrong.  I spoke with them after my surgery to talk about the pain of bone being cut.  I tried to assure them that my getting infection was not a normal thing and that he would be fine.  I am not beating myself up over this because I know they didn't take that as gospel, but the poor little guy is back in hospital with both infection and gangerine in the area.  They may have to operate again.

I am angry because while all this happened to me I am an adult who can understand and take it.  But to have it happen (and be worse) for a little boy who just wants to play with his little brother and run around, just isn't fair. For those of you who do, please pray for this little one that he won't have to go through more surgery, specially another amputation.

Thanks, friends.


----------



## pdswife

I'll be sending warm thoughts to your friends Laurie.


----------



## Barbara L

I'm praying for your little friend as well Laurie.

I am taking it easy.  I lie down now and then and keep my foot up.  I got to the doctor as soon as I could, since I don't want to go through that agony again!

Barbara


----------



## luvs

i cannot stop fretting. school's soon, & i'm so tearful. i figure cause i'm psyched.


----------



## LPBeier

You'll do fine Luvs, but I do understand your feelings.  I was the same before culinary school.


----------



## luvs

thanks, sweetie.


----------



## Barbara L

luvs said:


> i cannot stop fretting. school's soon, & i'm so tearful. i figure cause i'm psyched.


You have the prayers and support of a lot of people sweetie.  I was always nervous as school approached, but once that first day was over everything was always fine.  You will do great!

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

I understand, too, Luvs.........I used to actually be nauseous before certain exams and if I wasn't nauseous I was running to the loo..........it's normal to have butterflies when embarking on new challenges........just knowing your personality from this site you'll do great.......take a nice warm bath with candles and play some relaxing music the evening before and practice relaxation breathing....be positive

Barbs, I  have a staph infection accompanied by cellulitis in what started out as a very small sebaceous cyst.......now it is quite swollen, angry red, hurts like the dickens.....I am now on antibiotics, too, for 10 days.......the Dr. said that it would look worse before it would bet better......she's right.......I remember your experience with cellulitis and can only sympathize with you..........please take it easy..........


----------



## kadesma

luvs said:


> i cannot stop fretting. school's soon, & i'm so tearful. i figure cause i'm psyched.


Relax sweetie,
you're excited and once things get going you will be just fine. I know you can do this..
kades


----------



## kadesma

Laurie,
Ijust saw the note about the little one...He has all my thoughts and prayers..You know how I feel about little kids so know these prayers will be intense and continuous..Keep me posted and  the Lord wil lkeep his hand on the little ones shoulder.
kades


----------



## texasgirl

kadesma said:


> Hey Stacy, someone rude to you?  Want me to box their ears?
> kades


 hehe, nah, just put them on ignore.


----------



## luvs

love you guys.


----------



## PieSusan

I am exhausted and am hoping to get some candymaking done tomorrow. I just don't have much motivation this year.


----------



## babetoo

me either, just a tiny glimmer in last few days. i decided i am responsible for how i feel. it is working just ok.


----------



## LPBeier

I agree with both of you.  Every time I get ready to bake (some of my presents are baking) something happens - a repairman comes, we find that there are bugs in a kitchen cupboard (seriously), or my leg needs rest and ice.  It is getting ridculous!


----------



## expatgirl

I know how you feel........was setting out decorations near my fireplace and noticed dry rot near the edges abutting it.........sick that it might be termites I've just decided to put it on the back burner and not worry about until after the holidays......repairman recommended by a reputable family-owned hardware store called me and we set up a time on Jan. 2 for him to look at it.........I'm having to put my feet up, too, and I'm still waiting for this staph infection to go away though I am on antibiotics......I don't have time to have ailments right now.....  Despite all that I got into the spirit tonight notwithstanding two rude salesclerks.....my daughter in law was all set to report them and I told her......look....they're tired and probably have hours left on their shifts.....one is in a girdle and wearing high heels and WILL be soaking her feet and the other is probably going to get the flu with people in her face for all these hours......you and I are finished and going out to eat......


----------



## LadyCook61

A neighbor's dog was let out at 2 am the other morning, the neighbor could not find her dog .  Later that day, the dog was found lying on the church property lawn and someone had dumped him in the dumpster !   I feel bad for the neighbor losing her dog , it seems he had a seizure and died, he apparently had a history of seizures, he was only 6 yrs. old.  Anyway, neighbor got the dog back and took him to the vet to be cremated.  I'm sad for the neighbor and ticked off at whoever dumped the dog in the dumpster.  I am in a mood today because one year ago, my cat Shadow died , here at home.  I miss him so much, I miss all my furbabies who have gone on .


----------



## texasgirl

LadyCook61 said:


> A neighbor's dog was let out at 2 am the other morning, the neighbor could not find her dog .  Later that day, the dog was found lying on the church property lawn and someone had dumped him in the dumpster !   I feel bad for the neighbor losing her dog , it seems he had a seizure and died, he apparently had a history of seizures, he was only 6 yrs. old.  Anyway, neighbor got the dog back and took him to the vet to be cremated.  I'm sad for the neighbor and ticked off at whoever dumped the dog in the dumpster.  I am in a mood today because one year ago, my cat Shadow died , here at home.  I miss him so much, I miss all my furbabies who have gone on .



Unfortunately, the person was not an animal person, or they would have just buried it. But, to give them a tiny bit, and very tiny bit of credit. They probably just thought it better to dispose of the body than have kids see it on the way to church. I'm sorry your friend lost her companion though. That is hard!


----------



## LadyCook61

texasgirl said:


> Unfortunately, the person was not an animal person, or they would have just buried it. But, to give them a tiny bit, and very tiny bit of credit. They probably just thought it better to dispose of the body than have kids see it on the way to church. I'm sorry your friend lost her companion though. That is hard!


 Maybe , but this happened in the middle of the week.  I don't know if the dog had tags on it or not.  At least she got the dog back.


----------



## PieSusan

LadyCook61 said:


> A neighbor's dog was let out at 2 am the other morning, the neighbor could not find her dog . Later that day, the dog was found lying on the church property lawn and someone had dumped him in the dumpster ! I feel bad for the neighbor losing her dog , it seems he had a seizure and died, he apparently had a history of seizures, he was only 6 yrs. old. Anyway, neighbor got the dog back and took him to the vet to be cremated. I'm sad for the neighbor and ticked off at whoever dumped the dog in the dumpster. I am in a mood today because one year ago, my cat Shadow died , here at home. I miss him so much, I miss all my furbabies who have gone on .


 
Whoever dumped the dog in the dumpster is sick. The police should have been called and the owner of the dog should have been notified. If anyone were to treat my furbabies like that, they would have me to reckon with.


----------



## radhuni

I can't recharge my cell phone for last two days. Showing 'server busy'.

I have to make calls from land phone. The problem is I have to dial the numbers taking the numbers from phone book (I don't know anyones no because the numbers are stored with name in cell phone). I lost the habit of dialing numbers and each and every time I am dialing a wrong number.


----------



## expatgirl

goodness, I've been in your shoes, radhuni.......this is why I carry a small address book in my purse with all cell contacts ..........it's rather a lonely, scary feeling isn't it? Hope that you can recharge you phone soon.......good luck!!!


----------



## LPBeier

Have any of you seen the movie the Money Pit?  Well I guess the one thing we can be thankful for is that all the problems happening are not costing US anything except frustration!  We found another leak from what looks like a nail in the sewage drain from the toilet.  

Then we were getting windows redone because the seals were broken and they were letting in cold air and fogging inside.  The management pays for those and they were being installed today.  But they couldn't do the slider window in the livingroom because the frame is sinking and they couldn't get the old window out. So, another project not finished.

I am doing my best to not get stressed out over this anymore, but if there was a chance we could sell the place (who's going to buy it with walls and floors torn out and windows that don't work properly) we would be outta here fast.


----------



## pdswife

Laurie, I just left you a message asking if you were enjoying your day... 

I guess I know the answer now!   I hope it's warmed up and the ice and snow are gone!


----------



## LPBeier

Oh, almost forgot.  Am finally getting some baking done and a new recipe I am trying, well let's just say they didn't turn out like the picture.


----------



## LPBeier

Yes, Trish I just replied to your message directing you here!  LOL!! No, Ice, snow and cold are all still here.  I am waiting for DH to come home so I can go for a walk and get out of here!   Don't want to try it alone, even with boots and cane!


----------



## pdswife

Make sure he holds on tight!  It's dang slippery out there!!!


----------



## PieSusan

A person who I am paying to help me loves to sit in judgment and make me cry. I wish I could get him to stop with the criticism. 

This is always a hard time of year. I miss my dad and I can't bring my mom home anymore--so I can't keep any of the old traditions anymore. I try to make new ones but it just is not quite the same.


----------



## Barbara L

PieSusan said:


> A person who I am paying to help me loves to sit in judgment and make me cry. I wish I could get him to stop with the criticism.
> 
> This is always a hard time of year. I miss my dad and I can't bring my mom home anymore--so I can't keep any of the old traditions anymore. I try to make new ones but it just is not quite the same.


If you are paying this person to help, you need to find someone else.  You do NOT need to put up with that.  

I lost my mom 8 years ago last week, and I know how you feel.  I am praying for you.  Maybe you could buy a few bottles of nicely scented hand lotions and when you go to visit your mom, bring some to some of the other people there (and your mom, of course).  It won't change the world, but you will make the world a nicer place for a few people, if only for the moment.

And you can always PM me whenever you want.  I have a good strong shoulder and a good "listening ear" (so to speak).

Barbara


----------



## PieSusan

Thanks, BarbaraL. I see my mom every day and tomorrow after her doctor's appointment we shall go out to lunch. I will have to bundle her up as it is suppose to snow.


----------



## kadesma

PieSusan said:


> Thanks, BarbaraL. I see my mom every day and tomorrow after her doctor's appointment we shall go out to lunch. I will have to bundle her up as it is suppose to snow.


Susan,
you've mentioned that all the family traditions can't be done now..I know it's hard but, pick one simple one that meant the world to you and your mom and dad..Like this one we do my dad loved making Tom and Jerry's every Christmas Eve, we still do it and raise the cups in honor of the two of them  and each of us say's something//Like Hi mom and dad, wish you were here, we miss you , we love you after we drink the Tom and Jerry and it just makes the evening more as it use to be..You could just do one little thing they both loved it will make you feel better, sure a little wet around the eyes but you heart will be full of love and you will be passing a tradition on to you children in memory of grandma and grandpa..
kadesma


----------



## kadesma

PieSusan said:


> A person who I am paying to help me loves to sit in judgment and make me cry. I wish I could get him to stop with the criticism.
> 
> This is always a hard time of year. I miss my dad and I can't bring my mom home anymore--so I can't keep any of the old traditions anymore. I try to make new ones but it just is not quite the same.


Why on earth would you let someone treat you that way? He would be seeing the door shut in his face if he treated me like that..Nest time you need something done find someone else to do it for you..Do not allow anyone to treat you this way..The minute he opened his yap I'd ask hi do you need this job? yes..Then do the job and keep you opinions for someone who gives a rip..If you can't, see ya..
Do not become a person who stands for ill treatment..You wouldn't want your child to let herself be treated that way would you? Then don't allow it in your home.
kadesma,


----------



## jpmcgrew

kadesma said:


> Why on earth would you let someone treat you that way? He would be seeing the door shut in his face if he treated me like that..Nest time you need something done find someone else to do it for you..Do not allow anyone to treat you this way..The minute he opened his yap I'd ask hi do you need this job? yes..Then do the job and keep you opinions for someone who gives a rip..If you can't, see ya..
> Do not become a person who stands for ill treatment..You wouldn't want your child to let herself be treated that way would you? Then don't allow it in your home.
> kadesma,


 
 Kadesma is right you dont have to take that there are plenty of people who would help and not get nasty.  I would start looking for a replacement right now. The fact that he makes you cry is abuse and is not to be tolerated on any level his butt needs to go out the the door.


----------



## PieSusan

kadesma said:


> Susan,
> you've mentioned that all the family traditions can't be done now..I know it's hard but, pick one simple one that meant the world to you and your mom and dad..Like this one we do my dad loved making Tom and Jerry's every Christmas Eve, we still do it and raise the cups in honor of the two of them and each of us say's something//Like Hi mom and dad, wish you were here, we miss you , we love you after we drink the Tom and Jerry and it just makes the evening more as it use to be..You could just do one little thing they both loved it will make you feel better, sure a little wet around the eyes but you heart will be full of love and you will be passing a tradition on to you children in memory of grandma and grandpa..
> kadesma


 
Usually, I bake. I just have been having a hard time getting around to it this year. By now, I should have my candy made and all I have done is shopped. Tomorrow, I hope to make the Black Forest Truffles. It is my goal. If I get started, then, I shall feel better. And, tomorrow night I have my fondant cake decorating class.

It has been so grey for so long, it feels like Seattle. I am thinking of going to our condo in S. Fla. I think I need a bit  of sunshine.


----------



## LPBeier

I have been having a blast baking the past few days and getting some form of Christmas into our lives.  DH is doing so well at his job and even picked up an extra shift this Thursday.  Well, they have a policy that if you are even the least bit sick you don't come in (he works at a group home) and so when he woke up this morning with a cold he called in and sure enough they don't want him so Thursday becomes a make-up shift.  Now I have caught it with my depleated immune system (within a couple of hours) and am feeling really awful so I have had to scrap baking and rest.  

On top of that I got really bad news about two friends...my friend who found out a couple of months ago that after a year she was cancer free, now has a couple of lesions on her lung and has to wait until February for definite diagnosis.  And the little boy I mentioned who had his deformed leg partially amputated developed infection and gangrene and is at this moment in surgery to remove the infection and will be facing further amputation either now or after they have got the problems under control.  He is only 4 years old.

I have to say that some of it is selfish (about being sick again) and some of it is because others I know are hurting, but I am a little mad at the world right now...well the outer world, not DC!!


----------



## pdswife

vent away!!  I would too!


----------



## PieSusan

I had such a hard time falling asleep last night. I had to do my favorite sleep meditation.


----------



## homecook

I'm done! My dh and I went away for a couple days to get away from all the chaos. I come home to find out my great-aunt passed away. She was visiting her younger dd in California and passed away. The wake is here tomorrow night and the funeral is Friday. She was 88 yrs. old and did live a good life. May she rest in peace.

Barb


----------



## texasgirl

Oh, I'm so sorry!! I'm glad she has a long and full life!! She was well loved by that!


----------



## LPBeier

My condolences, Barb.


----------



## PieSusan

I am so sorry for your loss, Barb. This can be such a hard time of year.


----------



## LadyCook61

I'm tired of being blamed for hubby's mistakes and accidents.  He knocked over a plastic container of dry yeast ( 1 lb)  and it fell and opened all over the floor.   Don't you know it's my fault because I didn't use a better container ?


----------



## texasgirl

LadyCook61 said:


> I'm tired of being blamed for hubby's mistakes and accidents.  He knocked over a plastic container of dry yeast ( 1 lb)  and it fell and opened all over the floor.   Don't you know it's my fault because I didn't use a better container ?




Yeah, it would have been, why did you leave it there, for me. I know where your coming from. Makes you wanna choke them!!!


----------



## kadesma

So sorry for your loss Barb...Prayers for all of you and may you have peace soon

kadesma


----------



## LadyCook61

homecook said:


> I'm done! My dh and I went away for a couple days to get away from all the chaos. I come home to find out my great-aunt passed away. She was visiting her younger dd in California and passed away. The wake is here tomorrow night and the funeral is Friday. She was 88 yrs. old and did live a good life. May she rest in peace.
> 
> Barb


 
My condolences,  Barb.


----------



## deelady

My prayers are going out to you and your family Barb, may you have nothing but smiles in shared memories of your dear loved one!


----------



## homecook

Thank you everyone! 

Barb


----------



## jpmcgrew

LadyCook61 said:


> I'm tired of being blamed for hubby's mistakes and accidents. He knocked over a plastic container of dry yeast ( 1 lb) and it fell and opened all over the floor. Don't you know it's my fault because I didn't use a better container ?


 
 DH is the same everything is my fault even when it has nothing to do with me especially if he's had a bad day at work. He is getting better because I will ask him " so whats really bugging you? " and when he finally tells me he stops being so irritating.


----------



## expatgirl

jpmcgrew said:


> DH is the same everything is my fault even when it has nothing to do with me especially if he's had a bad day at work. He is getting better because I will ask him " so whats really bugging you? " and when he finally tells me he stops being so irritating.



Talking about where the fault lies, jm, I know exactly how you feel----take a nice long brisk walk or a hot bath with a glass of wine and lock the door..really lock the door and turn on some nice music....click your ruby red toenails together and intone deeply.......send him and Toto to Kansas, send him and Toto to Kansas..... 

here's another true story that explodes the cranial corpuscles......(at least the few I have left)

I haven't truly volcanoed in awhile until now.... so here goes.......true story printed in the Houston Chronicle this morning.........a judge's daughter (Shelton) was illegally over 3 times the alcohol limit and rammed into a truck about a year ago killing her 21 year old boyfriend..........wrecked her Lexus SUV (yes, let's all chorus....."oh, my, how terrible"  wait.... we're feeling sorry for her Lexus not the boyfriend as this lawsuit unfolds.........)  She did get a heavy slap on the hand of 4 MONTHS in jail and this is for involuntary manslaughter due to her being 3X over the legal limit of being intoxicated.......now most people would be hopping mad at this point....but no, it gets better.......she is now (it's a year later and the statute of limitations is running out) filing a lawsuit)........get this......AGAINST the truck driver that she hit from BEHIND.....no kidding......poor Schmo had no insurance and she (or her lawyer) are filing for damages against him to collect damages incurred to her Lexus SUV....  Yep, nowhere but here..........


----------



## pdswife

oh MY $(U%)(I#  that just makes me angry!!


----------



## LPBeier

Oh, I get SOOO very angry at stuff like this.  Many years ago I witnessed an accident where a motorcyclist passed me on the right, then swerved between me and the car in front, passing him on the left and hit a car turning left from the opposite direction.  Normally it would be the car's fault but this kid broke about 4 laws (including speeding and running a light) and the car never had a chance to see him.  He was from a well off family and hired one of the most high profiled laywers around at the time who got no less than 7 stays pushing the actual trial back almost 2 years.  I had kept a copy of my statement but it was still a long time and even with both my testimony and the other driver in front of me, as well as all the police evidence the kid got off AND succsessfully sued the driver of the car for damages and tarnishing his reputation.

The lawyer turned around every word I said, making it look like I just didn't like motorcycle drivers.

Expat, I don't blame you for being mad but it happens EVERYWHERE!!!!


----------



## africhef

Hi guys well my year has gone to hell in a hand basket my 11 yr old son was killed in January now I have to fly back to South Africa my mom is critically ill she has been diagnosed Goodpasture syndrome she is 71 and on dialisys and a ventilater [spelling] we were going to go on a holiday as my dh has never met my family now i have to pay 2x the going rate. I am so overwelmed with loss as it it is. Anyway my friends I will talk to you in a month leaving Sunday 21 back jan 21


----------



## pdswife

I'm so sorry africhef!  My good thoughts will be going with you.


----------



## Lefty7887

My thoughts and prayers to you and your family africhef.


----------



## expatgirl

I'm truly sorry, africhef, .............


----------



## Barbara L

I will keep you and your mom in my prayers Africhef.  

Barbara


----------



## Katie H

Sorry to hear of your troubles, africhef.  My heart goes out to you and I send loving thoughts and prayers.  Travel safely.


----------



## suziquzie

I'm so sorry africhef, I wish I had something comforting to say. 
I can't imagine what you are dealing with right now. Losing a child should not happen to anyone at any age. 
You will be in my thoughts.


----------



## LPBeier

Africhef, please add my prayers to the list.


----------



## PieSusan

Some people don't have a sense of humor and like to think the worst of people instead of the best--especially when the person in question is always doing good deeds and helping others. I would like to think that some people earn a little slack every now and then. None of us are perfect.


----------



## LadyCook61

africhef said:


> Hi guys well my year has gone to hell in a hand basket my 11 yr old son was killed in January now I have to fly back to South Africa my mom is critically ill she has been diagnosed Goodpasture syndrome she is 71 and on dialisys and a ventilater [spelling] we were going to go on a holiday as my dh has never met my family now i have to pay 2x the going rate. I am so overwelmed with loss as it it is. Anyway my friends I will talk to you in a month leaving Sunday 21 back jan 21


 
africhef,  prayers for you and family.  
LC


----------



## jpmcgrew

So sorry africhef stay strong.


----------



## deelady

You are definately in my prayers Africhef!! Have a safe trip and I hope you return quickly with good news!!
{{{{HUGS}}}}


----------



## kadesma

Your mom and you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, my heart is wrapped around all of you...May HE make it easier on all of you

kadesma


----------



## scoobagirl

africhef said:


> Hi guys well my year has gone to hell in a hand basket my 11 yr old son was killed in January now I have to fly back to South Africa my mom is critically ill she has been diagnosed Goodpasture syndrome she is 71 and on dialisys and a ventilater [spelling] we were going to go on a holiday as my dh has never met my family now i have to pay 2x the going rate. I am so overwelmed with loss as it it is. Anyway my friends I will talk to you in a month leaving Sunday 21 back jan 21


 
Africhef, you know I'm praying for you and your family. There are no words except that I'm here for you and will keep you lifted in prayer.


----------



## PieSusan

I missed your post yesterday, add my prayers to the list. I am so sorry that you are having such a difficult and stresssful time. Be sure to take care of yourself as well.


----------



## LPBeier

Okay, so we were going to an appetizer party tonight but on the way had to stop in at the place where we will be running the kitchen tomorrow for an outreach banquet.  We have been doing this for five years now and the organizers leave everything pretty much up to us because we know how they like it and also how things need to be as it is a cross cultural event.  

It is held in a church and the pastor's wive, who won't be there tomorrow, came in and made the people who were decorating the tables redo them HER way.  Then she came over to where another lady and I were preparing the buffet lines.  I had set a piece of red table cloth on a small table that needed to be where it was for a certain type of food, separate from the other tables.  I was just waiting for a cloth tablecloth to put over it and was well aware that the plastic one was ugly, it wouldn't be seen, but was only for protection of the good cloth.  She came over, threw the cloth across the room and said that "we don't do tacky here!"  Then she proceeded to move all the tables around, getting rid of the little ones and completely changing everything.

The old me would have gotten really angry and blown up.  But I am just helping and decided the best thing to do was walk away and let the organizers handle it.  Then I told them to leave it, I would put it back tomorrow as I knew what they wanted.  Tomorrow I am in charge of the kitchen and will then have the authority I need.  But tonight I was just there to make sure of any changes, etc. and decided not to rock any boats.

You don't know how difficult it was for me though to keep quiet when this is what I do for a living!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, the party, well it was great!  A lot of really wonderful food and I ate too much!


----------



## expatgirl

LPBeier said:


> Okay, so we were going to an appetizer party tonight but on the way had to stop in at the place where we will be running the kitchen tomorrow for an outreach banquet.  We have been doing this for five years now and the organizers leave everything pretty much up to us because we know how they like it and also how things need to be as it is a cross cultural event.
> 
> It is held in a church and the pastor's wive, who won't be there tomorrow, came in and made the people who were decorating the tables redo them HER way.  Then she came over to where another lady and I were preparing the buffet lines.  I had set a piece of red table cloth on a small table that needed to be where it was for a certain type of food, separate from the other tables.  I was just waiting for a cloth tablecloth to put over it and was well aware that the plastic one was ugly, it wouldn't be seen, but was only for protection of the good cloth.  She came over, threw the cloth across the room and said that "we don't do tacky here!"  Then she proceeded to move all the tables around, getting rid of the little ones and completely changing everything.
> 
> The old me would have gotten really angry and blown up.  But I am just helping and decided the best thing to do was walk away and let the organizers handle it.  Then I told them to leave it, I would put it back tomorrow as I knew what they wanted.  Tomorrow I am in charge of the kitchen and will then have the authority I need.  But tonight I was just there to make sure of any changes, etc. and decided not to rock any boats.
> 
> You don't know how difficult it was for me though to keep quiet when this is what I do for a living!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Oh, the party, well it was great!  A lot of really wonderful food and I ate too much!




when to withhold the sword and when to wield it.......that is the question........I think that you handled it well, Laurie...........don't you just torque when people try to run your business????.........you obviously respect diplomacy so do it your way tomorrow and go to bed knowing that it was a job well-done and you kept quiet when you were ready to..............


----------



## Bilby

Only read the last page, so sorry if I have missed anyone's news.

Africhef - so very sorry for your situation.  I hope you have a safe trip and that your mother can appreciate Christmas with you by her side.  Here's hoping they can stabilise her quickly.  I also hope you can endure the loss of your son during this time.  Thinking of you and yours.

Laurie - Biting your tongue is soooo hard. Congratulations!! Better woman than me!!


----------



## texasgirl

Okay, to everyone that has responded negative or just didn't respond at all.
I asked for addresses to send cards to people I thought were nice and kind on here, THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have never felt so hurt as to get 2 pm's from people that I thought about and made ME feel as though I were some sick freak for asking. I apologize and I ASSURE you , I will NEVER ask for your info again.
All that you had to do, was ignore the request or send one saying, thank you, but, I don't feel comfortable sharing that info, and I would have been 100% fine with that response. Rude pms were not needed. So, to the ones that I thought were kind on here and wanted to wish them a Merry Christmas and was made to feel so awful for doing so, I apologize for thinking of you.


----------



## expatgirl

wow.......Texasgirl......if you sent me one I haven't gotten it.......calm down.......I hope to never be accused of sending a rude pm ........I pretty much do that in public where the site admins beat me up but they're nice about it..hahaha........I don't know about your computer (and I'm the LAST person to be consulting on computer-related issues) but the DC site has been a bit iffy these last few day,. too.......you are special here..........I always look forward from anything from you as we're native Bluebonnets from Texas..........it's okay........your feelings have been hurt...........it's a busy time of the year..........don't take this stuff personally


----------



## deelady

texasgirl said:


> Okay, to everyone that has responded negative or just didn't respond at all.
> I asked for addresses to send cards to people I thought were nice and kind on here, THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> I have never felt so hurt as to get 2 pm's from people that I thought about and made ME feel as though I were some sick freak for asking. I apologize and I ASSURE you , I will NEVER ask for your info again.
> All that you had to do, was ignore the request or send one saying, thank you, but, I don't feel comfortable sharing that info, and I would have been 100% fine with that response. Rude pms were not needed. So, to the ones that I thought were kind on here and wanted to wish them a Merry Christmas and was made to feel so awful for doing so, I apologize for thinking of you.


 

that is very sad....its one thing to simply say you are not comfortable with giving out private info but to be nasty about it?? That is just uncalled for and I'm sorry texasgirl that others made you feel that way!


----------



## texasgirl

expatgirl said:


> wow.......Texasgirl......if you sent me one I haven't gotten it.......calm down.......I hope to never be accused of sending a rude pm ........I pretty much do that in public where the site admins beat me up but they're nice about it..hahaha........I don't know about your computer (and I'm the LAST person to be consulting on computer-related issues) but the DC site has been a bit iffy these last few day,. too.......you are special here..........I always look forward from anything from you as we're native Bluebonnets from Texas..........it's okay........your feelings have been hurt...........it's a busy time of the year..........don't take this stuff personally



My vent was about the mean pm's and making me feel disgusting for asking them. Not for ignoring or saying they are not comfortable. I have absolutely no problem with that at all. I just don't appreciate when one person sends me a pm about how there was no reason for me asking and how their husband is in the government and goes after cyber people, THEN, starts spreading her freaked out craziness to another and now has, what I think is an extremely nice person freaking out for giving me her address and making me feel horrible about it. Anyone that ignored or said they didn't feel comfortable, NICELY, is still in my thoughts and prayers for a wonderful Christmas.


----------



## expatgirl

goodness......I'm sorry, Texasgirl.......


----------



## LadyCook61

More of a frustration than a vent.  Some of you may know I am deaf and I depend on Closed captioning for tv and dvd.  One show I watch regularly on Saturday "Cook's Country" is usually captioned... but today it is not... it is really frustrating not to be able to follow what people are saying in the show.   I have emailed PBS to let them know about loss of captioning.  It is difficult to lip read too especially if they are not facing the camera or they don't move their lips much when talking.


----------



## deelady

LadyCook61 said:


> More of a frustration than a vent. Some of you may know I am deaf and I depend on Closed captioning for tv and dvd. One show I watch regularly on Saturday "Cook's Country" is usually captioned... but today it is not... it is really frustrating not to be able to follow what people are saying in the show. I have emailed PBS to let them know about loss of captioning. It is difficult to lip read too especially if they are not facing the camera or they don't move their lips much when talking.


 
I hope they respond to you quickly! I can only imagine how frustrating it is....
Isn't there special cable set-ups or such that gives all tv viewing closed captioning? I thought I had seen that somewhere...?


----------



## texasgirl

LadyCook61 said:


> More of a frustration than a vent.  Some of you may know I am deaf and I depend on Closed captioning for tv and dvd.  One show I watch regularly on Saturday "Cook's Country" is usually captioned... but today it is not... it is really frustrating not to be able to follow what people are saying in the show.   I have emailed PBS to let them know about loss of captioning.  It is difficult to lip read too especially if they are not facing the camera or they don't move their lips much when talking.



you get em LadyC!!


----------



## LadyCook61

deelady said:


> I hope they respond to you quickly! I can oly imagine how frustrating it is....
> Isn't they special cable set-up or such that gives all tv viewing closed captioning? I thought I had seen that somewhere...?


 
my tv is closed captioned enabled .  The problem is most likely the cable provider .  What is strange PBS other channel 44 works but not channel 39 , only some programs.  I've always been able to watch the cooking shows on channel 39 with captioning.  It is very frustrating, I look forward to the shows on Saturdays, because we only have basic broadcast cable meaning we don't get other channels or other food shows.


----------



## PieSusan

texasgirl said:


> Okay, to everyone that has responded negative or just didn't respond at all.
> I asked for addresses to send cards to people I thought were nice and kind on here, THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> I have never felt so hurt as to get 2 pm's from people that I thought about and made ME feel as though I were some sick freak for asking. I apologize and I ASSURE you , I will NEVER ask for your info again.
> All that you had to do, was ignore the request or send one saying, thank you, but, I don't feel comfortable sharing that info, and I would have been 100% fine with that response. Rude pms were not needed. So, to the ones that I thought were kind on here and wanted to wish them a Merry Christmas and was made to feel so awful for doing so, I apologize for thinking of you.


 
This is the hardest part of the Internet for me, texasgirl. Not everyone is who they pretend to be. You meant well, try not to take it personally. Some people figure they'd rather be safe than sorry. As for the rudeness, chalk it up to the stress of the holidays and a bad economy. It is so much easier to take it out on an anonymous person online than one's loved ones. I see it all the time. I don't much like it, either. You just learned something new about those people, that is all.


----------



## Maverick2272

LadyCook61 said:


> my tv is closed captioned enabled .  The problem is most likely the cable provider .  What is strange PBS other channel 44 works but not channel 39 , only some programs.  I've always been able to watch the cooking shows on channel 39 with captioning.  It is very frustrating, I look forward to the shows on Saturdays, because we only have basic broadcast cable meaning we don't get other channels or other food shows.



Unfortunately, there is more than one type of CC used (not sure exactly how many but my TV is 11 years old and has 5 on the menu I believe). You are probably right about it being on PBS's side, but just in case next time see if you have that option on your TV menu and then scroll thru the different types and see if one works?

Just a thought...


----------



## jpmcgrew

PieSusan said:


> This is the hardest part of the Internet for me, texasgirl. Not everyone is who they pretend to be. You meant well, try not to take it personally. Some people figure they'd rather be safe than sorry. As for the rudeness, chalk it up to the stress of the holidays and a bad economy. It is so much easier to take it out on an anonymous person online than one's loved ones. I see it all the time. I don't much like it, either. You just learned something new about those people, that is all.


 
 OMG, I can't believe anyone on DC would be that way sounds like some kind of personal paranoia. Heck you can have my address any day and directions to my house if you want. Sorry you were made to feel this way I can't even imagine who would do such a thing to you of all people. Jeez


----------



## Maverick2272

texasgirl said:


> Okay, to everyone that has responded negative or just didn't respond at all.
> I asked for addresses to send cards to people I thought were nice and kind on here, THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> I have never felt so hurt as to get 2 pm's from people that I thought about and made ME feel as though I were some sick freak for asking. I apologize and I ASSURE you , I will NEVER ask for your info again.
> All that you had to do, was ignore the request or send one saying, thank you, but, I don't feel comfortable sharing that info, and I would have been 100% fine with that response. Rude pms were not needed. So, to the ones that I thought were kind on here and wanted to wish them a Merry Christmas and was made to feel so awful for doing so, I apologize for thinking of you.



You want directions with that too?? Heck, I would be thrilled to get something in the mail or have someone drop in, LOL.
I am sorry someone reacted that way Stacie, but I think it was pretty cool of you to try and do something like this.


----------



## LadyCook61

*stuck in the snow*

 hubby would not plow the driveway... he is being ornery and crabby today and refused to plow ... so... I got stuck in the driveway .   He's out there now shoveling by the stuck car ... duh... made more work for himself  by not plowing in the first place.    I don't have a 4WD vehicle . You'd think we get one after living in Pa for 19 yrs. ?   I was so out of breath by time I walked back to the house , my heart was painfully pounding,  I really thought I was going to drop dead.


----------



## PieSusan

^Oh My! Hope you are ok,now.


----------



## Maverick2272

LadyCook61 said:


> hubby would not plow the driveway... he is being ornery and crabby today and refused to plow ... so... I got stuck in the driveway .   He's out there now shoveling by the stuck car ... duh... made more work for himself  by not plowing in the first place.    I don't have a 4WD vehicle . You'd think we get one after living in Pa for 19 yrs. ?   I was so out of breath by time I walked back to the house , my heart was painfully pounding,  I really thought I was going to drop dead.



He must be having one off day, cause I am sure he knew in the end it would be more work for him! 

Reminds me what is going on around here. Before this summer full sized 4x4 SUV's were very popular and everywhere. Then with gas prices everyone started trading them in for compact and sub compact cars. The used car dealerships became crowded with SUV's at cheap prices.
Then it snowed, LOL. Little cars stuck everywhere!! So we go out a couple of days ago and all the used car dealerships have their SUV's up front, prices raised back up, and lines of people in little cars wanting to trade them in to get thier SUV's back, LOL.

Thought you could use the humor in there.....


----------



## Barbara L

I'm sorry that happened Stacy.  As you said, it would have been enough to just decline, but to be rude was inexcusable.  I am very happy to have had you on my Christmas card list the last couple years.  

Barbara


----------



## PanchoHambre

I am going to have to spend 6 hours min in a car on xmas day to spend a max of 4 hours with family (2 different ones too). If I am "lucky" part of this time will coincide with the serving of a dismal buffet so I wont have to eat a sandwich in the car.  x-mas eve when traditionally our good meal is served has been all but canceled and I am unable to go anyway because the "dogs make it too stressful" I have never been a big xmas fan but this one is shaping up especially crummy and if it would not make people angry I would just stay put and forget about it alltogether. My day is basically going to be an effort not  to put my own grinchy feelings on the rest of the family. I am TRYING to focus on the good stuff but xmas frankly brings out the worst in me. I  think next year I might just take off and go somewhere warm or find a pet friendly ski resort.


----------



## miniman

Pancho - it is hard work - I have been there and found things difficult - still do sometimes, other people's way of Christmas is not mine but we do need to put that aside - I try to ensure that others get what they want. I also sympathise about the dogs, we have to be careful where we take ours. I will be thinking of you - put something enjoyable on in the car and make your own party on the way there and back.


----------



## PieSusan

Ever wish you could start your day over and go back to bed and put the covers over your head?


----------



## pdswife

Susan... I thought you were having a good day...what happened??


----------



## Fisher's Mom

PanchoHambre said:


> I am going to have to spend 6 hours min in a car on xmas day to spend a max of 4 hours with family (2 different ones too). If I am "lucky" part of this time will coincide with the serving of a dismal buffet so I wont have to eat a sandwich in the car.  x-mas eve when traditionally our good meal is served has been all but canceled and I am unable to go anyway because the "dogs make it too stressful" I have never been a big xmas fan but this one is shaping up especially crummy and if it would not make people angry I would just stay put and forget about it alltogether. My day is basically going to be an effort not  to put my own grinchy feelings on the rest of the family. I am TRYING to focus on the good stuff but xmas frankly brings out the worst in me. I  think next year I might just take off and go somewhere warm or find a pet friendly ski resort.


Awww, Pancho, I'm so sorry to hear you'll be in the car for so many hours on Christmas. No wonder you're not looking forward to it! I think you're a lovely person to do it at all - I'm not sure I'm that nice. Anyway, you will be in my thoughts and I hope something special and wonderful happens to you this season because you definitely deserve it. Big Hug to you and the dogs!


----------



## miniman

PieSusan said:


> Ever wish you could start your day over and go back to bed and put the covers over your head?


 
Yes, but unfortunately it is not possible. It helps to take a deep breath, have a break and go back to it with a fresher eye.


----------



## jpmcgrew

Fisher's Mom said:


> Awww, Pancho, I'm so sorry to hear you'll be in the car for so many hours on Christmas. No wonder you're not looking forward to it! I think you're a lovely person to do it at all - I'm not sure I'm that nice. Anyway, you will be in my thoughts and I hope something special and wonderful happens to you this season because you definitely deserve it. Big Hug to you and the dogs!


 
 Pancho, maybe you will get lucky and get the flu you better get it at least by tommorow.


----------



## PieSusan

pdswife said:


> Susan... I thought you were having a good day...what happened??


 
Someone that is supposed to be helping me is an incredibly impossible person to deal with and causes me great stress. I think that he is both a bit jealous of me and feels guilty because I do more for my mother than he does for his. He knows how upset I am and yet, every time he calls me, I wind up crying.


----------



## PanchoHambre

jpmcgrew said:


> Pancho, maybe you will get lucky and get the flu you better get it at least by tommorow.



LOL... I do have a wicked cold.... anyway I am not such a nice person... I guilt tripped so the dogs are coming with me on xmas eve now... they will probably misbehave... oh well my brothers kid is a brat and he's invited


----------



## Alix

My very small and minor vent is that the home care aide who is supposed to give my Mom her meds seems to be more interested in her schedule than the times my Mom is supposed to get care. Mom ended up taking the wrong meds at the wrong time yesterday because she was left to her own devices. And she didn't get a meal prepped for her because instead of showing up after 430pm like she was supposed to, the aid was there before 330. A bit early for supper I think. Grrr. 

Mom is fine, but I'm still a bit choked by all this mess. I'm settling down now. Thanks for letting me vent.


----------



## PieSusan

Alix said:


> My very small and minor vent is that the home care aide who is supposed to give my Mom her meds seems to be more interested in her schedule than the times my Mom is supposed to get care. Mom ended up taking the wrong meds at the wrong time yesterday because she was left to her own devices. And she didn't get a meal prepped for her because instead of showing up after 430pm like she was supposed to, the aid was there before 330. A bit early for supper I think. Grrr.
> 
> Mom is fine, but I'm still a bit choked by all this mess. I'm settling down now. Thanks for letting me vent.


 
When my mom was home and I had some home healthcare workers for her, she would fire them constantly. One lied to me and said she took her to the doctors when the doctor called me and asked me why my mom never showed up. They mostly did nothing and sat around--they were suppose to do light housekeeping, feed her etc. I wound up still doing everything. So, eventually, I stopped using them.

So, I know exactly how you feel! Further, I thought things would get better once my mom went into a nursing home but she has recently informed me that a staff member has been mean to her, grabbed her and has hit her. I have her in what is suppose to be one of the nicest homes in Ohio. Grrrrrrrrr


----------



## Alix

Its frustrating isn't it? My Mom doesn't want to be a bother to anyone so she allows stuff she shouldn't. Then it leads to this kind of garbage. BAH! I get to go be the bad guy right before Christmas to the home care agency. *Sigh* 

I'm really pretty fortunate, I have good people in place to help Mom with most of it so I don't need to be there all the time. I'm just still struggling to balance my life/work and hers. So far, all the balls are still in the air...lets hope I can keep them there.


----------



## PieSusan

Alix said:


> Its frustrating isn't it? My Mom doesn't want to be a bother to anyone so she allows stuff she shouldn't. Then it leads to this kind of garbage. BAH! I get to go be the bad guy right before Christmas to the home care agency. *Sigh*
> 
> I'm really pretty fortunate, I have good people in place to help Mom with most of it so I don't need to be there all the time. I'm just still struggling to balance my life/work and hers. So far, all the balls are still in the air...lets hope I can keep them there.


 
I was forced to pay for a entire block of time even when I fired the aide who lied to me about the doctor's appointment. That really made me mad!

It is very hard to keep all the balls up in the air at the same time. Trying to be superwoman for a dozen years without taking good enough care of me made me very sick. 

Be sure to take care of you, too! I didn't listen and I am paying for it now.


----------



## Alix

Thanks PieSusan, I am fortunate enough to have a husband who makes darned SURE I look after myself. If I start to slip he is very firm about reining me in. I appreciate your words of wisdom and support. Thanks! Sometimes one can feel very alone in this situation.


----------



## kadesma

Alix,
I'm sorry this has happened..seems people now days don't take things seriously it's collect the pay check and to hell with the rest..There is no feeling of care about the person they are taking care of...I was lucky and did it myself and with my dad hospice bless them helped me..With mom dementia came we kept her here it wasn't bad yet just the continual repeated questions..But one weekend mom was postive she had the flu, which to this day I swear she did..we took her to emergency and a week later my little coffee loving mom was gone..They fixed it so she gave up eating because they put this junk in it to make it like jelly, when they did it to her coffee it was all over, she would not eat,drink or even look us in the eye..that was the hardest week of my life and I still kick myself for not just taking her home when she asked me to...The flu like symptoms left the next day and they put her through so many doctors and tests it wore her little body out..I'll never forgive those doctors,nurses or that miserable hospital for this..Guess I've become a bitter old lady, cuz they nearly did the same to me. So Alix, be firm and let them know right from day one, this is my mom , do not overstep and do anything that will hurt her..If ya do you're gone!!! Wish I could come help you Alix, you can bet meds would be on time and so would her meals..You would smile and not have to worry
kades


----------



## Alix

Oh kadesma, what a horrible thing to happen! I know if it were up to you Mom would have the best care ever! You'd probably have a whale of a time together. She needs someone to perk her up a bit. 

I guess part of this is my own frustration at not being able to be there to do all Mom needs done. Its good to hear that you at least had the opportunity and ability to be there for your Dad. I know how hard that must have been. You and your DH are special folk indeed. We need more of you around.


----------



## Barbara L

Christmas + Kidney Stones = Not much fun.  

This round has been nagging at me off and on for a few weeks now.  Not the worst pain I have ever had, but so aggravating.  I just took another Hydrocodone and am off to take another hot bath.  Maybe I can sleep for awhile (especially considering that I was not able to sleep at all last night--not from pain so much--just couldn't sleep).

Barbara


----------



## texasgirl

Awww Barbara. I hope the bath helps. I was hoping that I wouldn't see this thread today. I am sorry you are having pain today!! I hope the rest of your day is better!!


----------



## PieSusan

Barbara L said:


> Christmas + Kidney Stones = Not much fun.
> 
> This round has been nagging at me off and on for a few weeks now. Not the worst pain I have ever had, but so aggravating. I just took another Hydrocodone and am off to take another hot bath. Maybe I can sleep for awhile (especially considering that I was not able to sleep at all last night--not from pain so much--just couldn't sleep).
> 
> Barbara


 
Ouch! That is not fun at all!!!! I hope you get some relief and enjoy the rest of Christmas.


----------



## Barbara L

Thanks.  I'm feeling much better now.  This has been very aggravating, since this has been going on for a few weeks.  Fortunately the pain is never really severe, but it is bad enough.  Actually, in some ways it is worse than short-term intense pain.  It has been dragging on so long that I just feel worn out.  

Enough complaining!  I'm feeling better now, so I am going to take advantage of it and get some dishes washed.  I get to talk with my family back in California in about an hour, so I am looking forward to that very much.  

Barbara


----------



## LPBeier

Glad you are feeling better, Barbara but please take it easy.  Don't go doing too much.


----------



## Barbara L

No danger of that happening!  LOL  Seriously though, I am not over-doing it, but I need to take advantage of any chance to get at least a little done.  I really do appreciate everyone's concern.

Barbara


----------



## kadesma

Barbara L said:


> No danger of that happening!  LOL  Seriously though, I am not over-doing it, but I need to take advantage of any chance to get at least a little done.  I really do appreciate everyone's concern.
> 
> Barbara


Barbara,
Please take care, I pray you don't have any more problems and this clears up..It scares the ants out of me just thinking of what happened to me..Take it easy girl and get some help when you can.
cj


----------



## Barbara L

My problem is that with the depression, taking it easy is about all I do anymore.  I went in to wash dishes a couple hours ago.  All I got done was clearing the sink out and getting it ready.  The "magnetic force" on the computer pulled me back in here and I have yet to wash a dish.  

Barbara


----------



## kadesma

Barbara L said:


> My problem is that with the depression, taking it easy is about all I do anymore.  I went in to wash dishes a couple hours ago.  All I got done was clearing the sink out and getting it ready.  The "magnetic force" on the computer pulled me back in here and I have yet to wash a dish.
> 
> Barbara


It's Christmas and those dishes aren't going anyplace...Enjoy and rest
kades


----------



## PieSusan

My mom has slept practically all day. She has not had dinner and I am worried about her. I visited her for a short while but all she wanted to do is sleep.

I hope that she is ok. I am very worried about her.


----------



## LPBeier

I am not going to go into my entire day, but it just involved a lot of people I care about hurting physically or emotionally or both.  On top of that my leg is not doing well and I can't get hold of my Dad which is scaring me as he said he would be in all day today.  The DH called to say he was coming home and then scared me by calling a few minutes later to say he hadn't gotten very far, leaving me to think he was in an accident - it was just a power outage and he was stuck in traffic.  

I feel like I have been crying all day and am now totally worn out.

I know I will be okay, I just need things to start going right again.


----------



## pdswife

Tomorrow will be better!!
I know it will but for now..go make yourself a hot cup of tea and sit down and think about some happy stuff... feel better...ok?


----------



## texasgirl

Laurie, I'm sure your dad is fine. Maybe he found something to do and forgot that he told you he was staying in. you need some rest dear heart. Tomorrow will be better!!


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks, PDS and TG.  DH came home and gave me tons of hugs.  That speaks volumes in my books!


----------



## Barbara L

The pain is hitting early tonight.  I'm just so sick of this.  All I can do is take pain pills, take hot baths, use a heating pad until I'm so hot I can't stand it, and cry.  I know this bout is almost over because it always gets worse right before the end, but unfortunately the last part sometimes lasts awhile.  I feel pretty good most of the day, but lately I have been in agony at night, taking a pill every 4 hours, as many as 5 hot baths a night, and doing my best to get some sleep at night.  James and I both have appointments tomorrow with our doctor (regular check-ups).  We are both sick with different things.  I will probably be back on tonight for awhile, but if it is like last night, I might not.  Please say a little prayer for us that we feel better soon (kidney stones for me, over-all achy feeling and bad knees for James).  I can't stand it right now.

Barbara


----------



## texasgirl

I feel for you Barbara. My 6' + nephew would hit the floor in severe pain from those. They are nasty little buggers!! I'm sorry. I wish there was something I could do.


----------



## pdswife

please feel better!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

I'm so sorry to hear that Laurie, Barbara and James are feeling so bad tonight. I hope you find relief before bedtime so you can get some sleep.


----------



## LPBeier

Barbara, as you already know I can relate to your pain.  You are in my thoughts and prayers my friend.

I just heard from my Dad.  He wasn't well and went to the doctor.  It took a lot longer than expected but he got some stronger anti-biotics for his chest cough and the doctor adjusted his blood pressure medications so can lower it without the side affects he has been having.  I am so relieved...still on guard, but relieved that he is getting help.

But Christmas with my family is up in the air again because my sister has cooked the turkey, frozen the dark meat for us as she hates it and is eating all the white meat in sandwiches for work.  Plus she is taking Dad out on New Year's Day for dinner so will not be coming Sunday for the family Christmas dinner (DH works New Year's Day and she new that).

But, I am trying to stay positive and calm.  I don't need to have an ulcer like my poor DH.  Though he just found out from a site that McDonald's food (minus the drinks and condiments) is okay because it contains 0 fibre!  LOL!!!!!


----------



## Barbara L

I'm sorry your dad is sick Laurie, but I am glad you finally heard from him.  I'm glad your husband is home, safe and sound.  

Thanks for your kind thoughts everyone.  I really hate to come on here and whine, but I know that some of you really understand what I am going through, and that helps.  I am feeling a little better after my bath.  

You all mean so much to me.  I would like to wrap you all up in a big hug right now.

Barbara


----------



## QSis

To all of my DC friends who are suffering tonight, be it physically, emotionally or both, I am adding my positive, healing warmth and energies to all of the others who are supporting you.

Feel better soon, Barbara L, James, PieSusan, Laurie and anyone else who is down tonight.

Lee


----------



## pdswife

small vent..tiny tiny in fact... it's more of a question????  Why can't people be on time?


----------



## kadesma

pdswife said:


> small vent..tiny tiny in fact... it's more of a question????  Why can't people be on time?


They are lazy and have no cares for anyone but themselves...They need to be taught a hard lesson..OOOOOps sorry dinner was at 8 would you  like a pbj sandwich?
kades


----------



## Barbara L

Unfortunately James cannot be on time for anything.  I read something about people with ADD, and it said that they have unrealistic ideas about time.  I think James honestly thinks he can get up, eat breakfast, take a shower, and get dressed all in 10 minutes.  I have had to resort to telling him we have to be places earlier, but I can't do that all the time.  I do it when something is really important.  Time is just not important to James, he thinks the world is too wrapped up in time.  It drives me totally crazy!

Barbara


----------



## PieSusan

I am one of those people who hate being late, too. I was even born early. lol


----------



## miniman

Barbara L said:


> Unfortunately James cannot be on time for anything. I read something about people with ADD, and it said that they have unrealistic ideas about time. I think James honestly thinks he can get up, eat breakfast, take a shower, and get dressed all in 10 minutes. I have had to resort to telling him we have to be places earlier, but I can't do that all the time. I do it when something is really important. Time is just not important to James, he thinks the world is too wrapped up in time. It drives me totally crazy!
> 
> Barbara


 
My DW is a bit like that except it is on how much she can fit into a day. She starts off with this list of things that she is going to do, which is way too long and doesn't allow for time lapses or things going wrong and then gets really upset because she hasn't done it all.


----------



## LPBeier

I was taught that if you arrived anywhere fifteen minutes early then you were right on time.  My DH thinks that if you arrive anywhere fifteen minutes late you are doing well.  It is something we struggle with ALL the time.  He just doesn't have a sense of time at all.  Me?  I have time-related OCD!


----------



## miniman

I'm with you on that Laurie. I have to leave early to go anywhere. I'll be there with coat on, keys in hand ready to go and my beautiful. loveley wife will go and get another cup of coffee to drink before she goes and then having checked we have got everything will sit doen going through her bag and start looking for keys, ID badges or whatever else she needs.


----------



## pdswife

I'm early for everything!!  I keep a book in the car because I know I'm going to be tooooo early.


----------



## LadyCook61

Barbara L said:


> Unfortunately James cannot be on time for anything. I read something about people with ADD, and it said that they have unrealistic ideas about time. I think James honestly thinks he can get up, eat breakfast, take a shower, and get dressed all in 10 minutes. I have had to resort to telling him we have to be places earlier, but I can't do that all the time. I do it when something is really important. Time is just not important to James, he thinks the world is too wrapped up in time. It drives me totally crazy!
> 
> Barbara


 
I can relate to that , Barbara.


----------



## LadyCook61

I like to be early for things too, but it is impossible with hubby who makes us late for everything.


----------



## Mama

I'm an "on-time" person.  Don't like to be really early just maybe 5 minutes before I'm supposed to be there.  DH on the other hand, is a "late-person"  Late to EVERYTHING!  Drives me nuts!


----------



## PieSusan

I had a very odd dream this morning. I have been thinking about my father of late and he was in it but it was not a good dream. sigh I guess, watch well what you wish for.


----------



## babetoo

kadesma said:


> They are lazy and have no cares for anyone but themselves...They need to be taught a hard lesson..OOOOOps sorry dinner was at 8 would you like a pbj sandwich?
> kades


 
i think people that are always late are passive aggressive . they are in essence saying,"i don't have to do what anyone tells me" i also never wait for them. the meal is served when i said it would be. course there are exception , car trouble and the like.


----------



## scoobagirl

Arrgh. I am so MAD right now I can't see straight.  My husband is really a nice guy but when he drinks he gets so obnoxious. He was flying home from San Diego today and the flight was delayed. Evidently he had a couple of drinks in the airport and then had 2 (its just a 1 hr. flight !!!!) drinks between San Diego and Phoenix, where he evidently got kicked off the plane. He keeps calling me to tell me not to come pick him up - he has told me he's in Albuquerque twice, once he said he was in Dallas, but according to the airline his plane just left Phoenix so that's where I'm going to guess he is. 

This has never happened before. I've been with him when he was obnoxiously drunk and have been able to control his behavior, but when I'm not there - ugh... I guess he will fly stand-by tomorrow (on New Year's Eve) and I am just mad enough to scream. I had tailored my whole day today to be up late and drive to the airport over 1 hour away to pick him up. I just hope the airline will let him on a plane tomorrow. 

Tomorrow I'll be embarrassed that I vented this to y'all but I don't have anyone to call at this hour to complain. Grrrr.  It just makes me so angry that he can't behave himself.


----------



## LPBeier

Babe, there you are!  I was getting concerned that I hadn't seen you around DC for awhile!


----------



## LPBeier

scoobagirl said:


> Tomorrow I'll be embarrassed that I vented this to y'all but I don't have anyone to call at this hour to complain. Grrrr.  It just makes me so angry that he can't behave himself.



Never be embarrassed about venting anything here.  If you look back into this thread you will see a lot of us have aired our dirty laundry here.  That's what this is for - get it out and it is easier to deal with.  We are here for you!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

scoobagirl said:


> Arrgh. I am so MAD right now I can't see straight.  My husband is really a nice guy but when he drinks he gets so obnoxious. He was flying home from San Diego today and the flight was delayed. Evidently he had a couple of drinks in the airport and then had 2 (its just a 1 hr. flight !!!!) drinks between San Diego and Phoenix, where he evidently got kicked off the plane. He keeps calling me to tell me not to come pick him up - he has told me he's in Albuquerque twice, once he said he was in Dallas, but according to the airline his plane just left Phoenix so that's where I'm going to guess he is.
> 
> This has never happened before. I've been with him when he was obnoxiously drunk and have been able to control his behavior, but when I'm not there - ugh... I guess he will fly stand-by tomorrow (on New Year's Eve) and I am just mad enough to scream. I had tailored my whole day today to be up late and drive to the airport over 1 hour away to pick him up. I just hope the airline will let him on a plane tomorrow.
> 
> Tomorrow I'll be embarrassed that I vented this to y'all but I don't have anyone to call at this hour to complain. Grrrr.  It just makes me so angry that he can't behave himself.


Aww, Sweetie, I'm really sorry you're having to go through this. It must be really hard with him so far away that you can't go and get him and fuss at him all the way home!

As far as being embarrassed about posting this, don't worry about it. None of us here are perfect and neither are our spouses. While not everyone will have been through the _exact_ same thing, we've all had to deal with a spouse or child or someone close misbehaving in some dreadful way. That's one of the reasons we_ have_ this thread.

So try to relax and get some rest since there's nothing you can do tonight. We're here for you, scoobagirl.


----------



## scoobagirl

Fisher's Mom - you're right. there is nothing I can do tonight.  He hasn't called back so I am going to go to bed and see what tomorrow brings.  

The really ironic part of all this is that he has a friend that has been behaving in a similar manner and he's been so angry with him for the things he's doing and has chewed on him a lot about it.  Hello, honey, look in the mirror!!!  *sigh*

thank you all for being so kind.  I don't even remember the last time I was so sad/mad/disappointed. I'll dry my tears and get some rest, and tomorrow will be a new day. (I'm normally optimistic but I'm having a hard time seeing the light in this tunnel)


----------



## kadesma

scoobagirl said:


> Arrgh. I am so MAD right now I can't see straight.  My husband is really a nice guy but when he drinks he gets so obnoxious. He was flying home from San Diego today and the flight was delayed. Evidently he had a couple of drinks in the airport and then had 2 (its just a 1 hr. flight !!!!) drinks between San Diego and Phoenix, where he evidently got kicked off the plane. He keeps calling me to tell me not to come pick him up - he has told me he's in Albuquerque twice, once he said he was in Dallas, but according to the airline his plane just left Phoenix so that's where I'm going to guess he is.
> 
> This has never happened before. I've been with him when he was obnoxiously drunk and have been able to control his behavior, but when I'm not there - ugh... I guess he will fly stand-by tomorrow (on New Year's Eve) and I am just mad enough to scream. I had tailored my whole day today to be up late and drive to the airport over 1 hour away to pick him up. I just hope the airline will let him on a plane tomorrow.
> 
> Tomorrow I'll be embarrassed that I vented this to y'all but I don't have anyone to call at this hour to complain. Grrrr.  It just makes me so angry that he can't behave himself.


There is not a reason in the world for you to be embarrassed, you've done nothing wrong..Get some rest and then look at things with an unclouded mind tomorrow...Hopefully this will be the end of it..And remember we are here for you to talk to without being embarrassed..We just want to help and comfort you.
kadesma


----------



## Mama

DC is such a wonderful place. It's so nice that people can post in this thread whatever it is that is bothering them without fear of judgement...the only response being kind words.


----------



## kadesma

Right this minute I could just run outside and bay at the moon..I for the life of me cannot get over the fact that people are always at the ready even right after Christmas to bicker over something as sensless as a word..Say a prayer for me please I do not like to feel this way..It's not me
kades


----------



## miniman

Actually I think this is the time when people bicker more - not a lot of people working and they are bored , so pick on something to make an argument. I believe this time between Christmas & New Year is one of the highest family break up points in the UK. It's sad, but often driven by unreal expectations of the period - so many people want the Christmas they remember and burn them selves out trying to do it and things go wrong. I've come to the point and try to be laid back and take it my stride.

I still though get upset - this year I got what I asked for from DW and the boys but it still siappointed me - I don't know why, possibly just wanting something to show they thought things through and chose something as a surprise with me in mind. Also let myself get upset because I had a really small pile in front of me and the others had great big piles. I had to turn around as say to myself that you are adult and it really is that important anyway and put it behind me. We went on to have a lovely day - peaceful, all working together to get the meal out and then relaxing in front of the telly.


----------



## homecook

I got a call today from the assisted living that my mom is in. Hospice is getting her a single bed that I requested a couple weeks ago because her double bed is set up too high and it's hard for her to get in and out. They call at 1 and say they'll be there at 2 and I need to break down her bed and get it out of the room. Gee....can you give me a little time!!!! It's not like I'm sitting here waiting for your call. I told them they would have to break it down and just put it in the living room of her room and when I can make arrangements I will come and get it. Sorry, but I don't own a truck to haul things. Now I have to bother my sil to come after work one day and get the thing out of there. I don't know what I'm going to do with it when I do get it. When I went up there later in the day, I had to make up her bed and put things in order. I guess they didn't think she would need sheets on her bed!! I am getting so frustrated any more. At least she has more room in her bedroom now. That's my vent for the day!!!!

Barb


----------



## PieSusan

(((((Barb)))))) It is always something, don't I know it!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

miniman said:


> Actually I think this is the time when people bicker more - not a lot of people working and they are bored , so pick on something to make an argument. I believe this time between Christmas & New Year is one of the highest family break up points in the UK. It's sad, but often driven by unreal expectations of the period - so many people want the Christmas they remember and burn them selves out trying to do it and things go wrong. I've come to the point and try to be laid back and take it my stride.
> 
> I still though get upset - this year I got what I asked for from DW and the boys but it still siappointed me - I don't know why, possibly just wanting something to show they thought things through and chose something as a surprise with me in mind. Also let myself get upset because I had a really small pile in front of me and the others had great big piles. I had to turn around as say to myself that you are adult and it really is that important anyway and put it behind me. We went on to have a lovely day - peaceful, all working together to get the meal out and then relaxing in front of the telly.


I'm so sorry you had that little pang of disappointment, miniman. I know how much you love your family and value your family time and try to make everything special for them. I think you're right about longing to recapture the idealized Christmas of our past. And it's funny about the size of the "pile" in front of you - it isn't the gifts at all. It's the whole "how good were you last year" and "how much are you loved" validation thing. It's a hard thing to rid your psychi of.


----------



## kadesma

Ever feel as if you don't count? Like you here to do what the dialysis center wants, when they want it? They make me so angry..They don't keep track of injections then call and expect you to just waltz in and get it from them. doesn't matter if you have company coming or are watching your babies pr planning a trip out to lunch, just drop it and get there like it's your fault they goofed..Right this miute I could blow the roof off the house..I know they are there to help keep me alive, but darn it please respect the fact that I need to know what and when and I do have a life outside the center. Sorry had to write this down or just explode with anger...I'm sick of trying to keep track of things that you'd expect the center to keep track of.
kades


----------



## LadyCook61

To all of you : I wish you a Blessed ,  Prosperous, Stress-free New Year.


----------



## Barbara L

Barb and cj, I feel for both of you.  Why can't people remember that they are dealing with human beings and quit forcing unrealistic (and just not nice) demands on them?

My vent is something that situation comedies are made of (and murder trials!--Just Kidding Honey Bunny!).  James has his own ebay account, but he mostly just looks for things through it, since we are trying to build the feedback numbers on our main account, which is in my name (I had it before I met James).  He told me about a good deal on some Scrabble tiles.  I told him to send it to me.  He did, and in the message he told me to bid on them right away.  So as soon as I saw it this afternoon, I did.  There was a bid of something like $7.00 on it.  I put a maximum bid of $27.34 on it, but it immediately said that I had been outbid.  I asked him if he thought I should bid a little higher to try to win it, and he told me, "Oh, I bid on it."  He forgot to tell me that he was afraid we would lose it, so he bid on it!  And (here's the kicker), we were the only two bidding on it, so we ended up paying $28.34 when we could have paid only about $7.00!  Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!  I was hurting during the night, so he figured I wouldn't get to it on time.  I repeat, Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!!!

Barbara


----------



## PieSusan

LadyCook61 said:


> To all of you : I wish you a Blessed , Prosperous, Stress-free New Year.


 
From you mouth to ***'s ears!


----------



## PieSusan

Barbara L said:


> Barb and cj, I feel for both of you. Why can't people remember that they are dealing with human beings and quit forcing unrealistic (and just not nice) demands on them?
> 
> My vent is something that situation comedies are made of (and murder trials!--Just Kidding Honey Bunny!). James has his own ebay account, but he mostly just looks for things through it, since we are trying to build the feedback numbers on our main account, which is in my name (I had it before I met James). He told me about a good deal on some Scrabble tiles. I told him to send it to me. He did, and in the message he told me to bid on them right away. So as soon as I saw it this afternoon, I did. There was a bid of something like $7.00 on it. I put a maximum bid of $27.34 on it, but it immediately said that I had been outbid. I asked him if he thought I should bid a little higher to try to win it, and he told me, "Oh, I bid on it." He forgot to tell me that he was afraid we would lose it, so he bid on it! And (here's the kicker), we were the only two bidding on it, so we ended up paying $28.34 when we could have paid only about $7.00! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! I was hurting during the night, so he figured I wouldn't get to it on time. I repeat, Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!!!
> 
> Barbara


What a comedy of errors! At least his heart was in the right place, Barbara.


----------



## Barbara L

PieSusan said:


> What a comedy of errors! At least his heart was in the right place, Barbara.


Yep!  He was buying them for me.

Barbara


----------



## scoobagirl

kadesma said:


> Ever feel as if you don't count? Like you here to do what the dialysis center wants, when they want it? They make me so angry..They don't keep track of injections then call and expect you to just waltz in and get it from them. doesn't matter if you have company coming or are watching your babies pr planning a trip out to lunch, just drop it and get there like it's your fault they goofed..Right this miute I could blow the roof off the house..I know they are there to help keep me alive, but darn it please respect the fact that I need to know what and when and I do have a life outside the center. Sorry had to write this down or just explode with anger...I'm sick of trying to keep track of things that you'd expect the center to keep track of.
> kades


 
oh gosh, bless your heart. if there's one thing I know, its that many of the people working in health care are doing it because its a job. they aren't being paid to "know" you and your situation - they're just putting in their hours like anyone else with a job to do. Many of them would like to treat us better but they have too much to do, just like I do on my job. 

Not to disrespect anyone in the medical field - my daughter-in-law is an RN - and a good one - but after talking with her and also lots of experience with my husband's disability from back surgery, the reality is that the medical personnel just don't/can't remember each individual person and their whole case history. (however they do have charts at their fingertips they could bother to read!) If I had a nickel for every time my husband has had to re-tell his history to a caseworker/doctor/nurse/therapist...

I know its so hard to deal with chronic illness, pain, and the crap that goes along with it... it would be so much easier if there was a little more compassion in the world. (not just medical people...)

((((hugs))))  I hope things are better today.


----------



## scoobagirl

Mama said:


> DC is such a wonderful place. It's so nice that people can post in this thread whatever it is that is bothering them without fear of judgement...the only response being kind words.


 
you are SO right! I'm extremely grateful for this lovely, wonderful group of people. I was really hurting last night but was able to rest after several people offered comfort. 

Today is a better day. DH caught an early flight, and is home. We've had a good, productive discussion about the situation and I feel better. Thank you all for your friendship and concern!!!


----------



## PieSusan

Barbara L said:


> Yep! He was buying them for me.
> 
> Barbara


 
Are you making more jewelry?


----------



## Barbara L

PieSusan said:


> Are you making more jewelry?


Yes.  Some of this batch of Scrabble tiles are from a Spanish set, so it should give me a couple different letters to work with.

Barbara


----------



## Fisher's Mom

scoobagirl said:


> you are SO right! I'm extremely grateful for this lovely, wonderful group of people. I was really hurting last night but was able to rest after several people offered comfort.
> 
> Today is a better day. DH caught an early flight, and is home. We've had a good, productive discussion about the situation and I feel better. Thank you all for your friendship and concern!!!


I'm so glad he made it home, scoobagirl, so y'all don't have to spend New Year's Eve apart. And I'm glad you feel better and had a chance to talk with hubby. And I especially hope the New Year will be the best ever for you and yours!


----------



## kadesma

scoobagirl said:


> oh gosh, bless your heart. if there's one thing I know, its that many of the people working in health care are doing it because its a job. they aren't being paid to "know" you and your situation - they're just putting in their hours like anyone else with a job to do. Many of them would like to treat us better but they have too much to do, just like I do on my job.
> 
> Not to disrespect anyone in the medical field - my daughter-in-law is an RN - and a good one - but after talking with her and also lots of experience with my husband's disability from back surgery, the reality is that the medical personnel just don't/can't remember each individual person and their whole case history. (however they do have charts at their fingertips they could bother to read!) If I had a nickel for every time my husband has had to re-tell his history to a caseworker/doctor/nurse/therapist...
> 
> I know its so hard to deal with chronic illness, pain, and the crap that goes along with it... it would be so much easier if there was a little more compassion in the world. (not just medical people...)
> 
> ((((hugs))))  I hope things are better today.


I've been dealing with this over a year..and yes I understand it's a job and yes I understand they do what they do to help me..But, having owned and run a pharmacy with my DH we checked and double checked rx's talked to Dr's if there was a question , we kept detailed records for our patients..I don't see what is so hard in keeping a correct chart.I'm not well liked because I refuse to deal with the social worker, I am very private and my thoguhts and feelings belong to ME so he looks at me like I"m  in need of a keeper and the others talk to my husband as if he is my keeper...This will stop very soon as this girl has had it...
kadesma


----------



## PieSusan

It is awful to feel invisible kadesma. I hate being disrespected or feared because I went to law school. I sometimes am given a difficult time by the medical community just because they fear legal repercussions when that is the last thing that I would want to do. If they would just do their job.....sigh.


----------



## scoobagirl

(((kadesma)))  oooh, I hate that when they talk around you - that's just plain disrespect. I hope you get them straightened out soon.


----------



## kadesma

PieSusan said:


> It is awful to feel invisible kadesma. I hate being disrespected or feared because I went to law school. I sometimes am given a difficult time by the medical community just because they fear legal repercussions when that is the last thing that I would want to do. If they would just do their job.....sigh.


We just have to stand up and say enough Susan..It really gets old having this happen over and over...But I realize I'm allowing it, no more...
kadesma


----------



## kadesma

scoobagirl said:


> (((kadesma)))  oooh, I hate that when they talk around you - that's just plain disrespect. I hope you get them straightened out soon.


I know and it hurts my feelings..Well I'm  all finished being a door mat and next visit, I will speak up if it starts to happen again..Dh has been told to stand back or stay home so we will see what happens now. Thanks for your support
kadesma


----------



## Fisher's Mom

kadesma said:


> I know and it hurts my feelings..Well I'm  all finished being a door mat and next visit, I will speak up if it starts to happen again..Dh has been told to stand back or stay home so we will see what happens now. Thanks for your support
> kadesma


CJ, I really feel your pain. When you have a chronic medical condition, it seems like there are a whole bunch of strangers that feel like they own you and make all the decisions for you and you have no say anymore. It sucks! The terrible thing is that you have no real alternatives - you need the treatment they provide to live! And I'm with you on Social Workers. They are good for when there is a need but I hate it when they are just part of the "team" and you are treated like a freak if you don't want/need thier services. Don't they ever stop and think that if it weren't for you, there would be no team? Sorry for ranting but having an illness is hard enough without the very people you are paying to help you making it even harder. Anyway, a big hug to you, girlfriend.


----------



## PieSusan

My medication that is suppose to make me feel better gives me heartburn. (lol--but it really isn't funny)


----------



## jpmcgrew

kadesma said:


> Ever feel as if you don't count? Like you here to do what the dialysis center wants, when they want it? They make me so angry..They don't keep track of injections then call and expect you to just waltz in and get it from them. doesn't matter if you have company coming or are watching your babies pr planning a trip out to lunch, just drop it and get there like it's your fault they goofed..Right this miute I could blow the roof off the house..I know they are there to help keep me alive, but darn it please respect the fact that I need to know what and when and I do have a life outside the center. Sorry had to write this down or just explode with anger...I'm sick of trying to keep track of things that you'd expect the center to keep track of.
> kades


  Can't you get your shots etc on a regular schedule like every Monday or something?


----------



## kadesma

PieSusan said:


> My medication that is suppose to make me feel better gives me heartburn. (lol--but it really isn't funny)


Try some OTC  Prilosec, or one of the many ones they have  out there, they will be a little lower in strength but will help you. I'd check with my 'doc and see what one he'd rather you take..
all work about the same.
kades


----------



## kadesma

Fisher's Mom said:


> CJ, I really feel your pain. When you have a chronic medical condition, it seems like there are a whole bunch of strangers that feel like they own you and make all the decisions for you and you have no say anymore. It sucks! The terrible thing is that you have no real alternatives - you need the treatment they provide to live! And I'm with you on Social Workers. They are good for when there is a need but I hate it when they are just part of the "team" and you are treated like a freak if you don't want/need thier services. Don't they ever stop and think that if it weren't for you, there would be no team? Sorry for ranting but having an illness is hard enough without the very people you are paying to help you making it even harder. Anyway, a big hug to you, girlfriend.


Thanks 
terry, 
dh and I are always at loggerheads over the gang at the center..I was brought up  believing that if you are paid to do something you do it at your best, if you can't or won't you should be bounced out the dorr..You take pride in your work...Not just collect the pay check and run
kades


----------



## PieSusan

I woke up extra early and put my kitties in a carrier to wait for my freezer and Sears never came. I called and they told me that they cancelled the delivery because the freezer handle was damaged but never bothered to call me to tell me--isn't that nice?!! 

So, now it shall arrive on Sunday. I will be called on Saturday to be told when to expect it. Grrrrrrr I should not have had to call--I should have been called. And now, I have another day in which I shall be inconvenienced. 

It was still dark when I got up!


----------



## LPBeier

I really feel for you Susan.  Our flood was 2 months ago now, and we still have contractors, delivery people, insurance people all saying they will come by at certain times or call with information and never do.  I am really hoping this will all be done in the next couple of weeks.

Sears here has usually been pretty good, though I do remember our stove was supposed to take two days to arrive and we got it a month later, 2 days before I was cooking a Christmas dinner!

Make sure when you talk to them tomorrow that you really make them pin down a time and call YOU Sunday morning to confirm that they are coming


----------



## miniman

After our fire, we had deliveries from Habitat and they were so good. They rang a few days before to remind us and then the driver rang when he was about half an hour away so you were ready.


----------



## LadyCook61

More of a frustration than vent.  I get so frustrated with websites that use Adobe flash player in different versions.  For instance one site uses Flash player 10 , another site uses version 8 .  I can't view videos that uses 8 because I have 10 installed ,  those version 8 videos just will not play.   I have tried switching versions by uninstalling 10 and putting 8 on but I still could not view the videos.  
Even tho I can't hear what is  being said I can sometimes follow the procedure.  The videos are cooking and baking ones.


----------



## LadyCook61

This time I am venting.  Hubby wants to let Tuxie loose in the house, it is too soon ! 
I have Tuxie in the dog pen , which is in the dining area  so the cats can get used to each other .  So far, the 5 resident cats have not hissed or swiped at Tuxie and Tuxie has not either but then the cats don't get close enough , nose to nose anyway.   The resident cats either sit about 10 feet away or just ignore Tuxie.   For once I wish hubby would go to sleep like he usually does and just leave things to me !


----------



## snack_pack85

OOOH, venting...I like this thread 

You know what really gets me going? When some jerk at a four way stop doesn't have the patience to wait till I have cleared the intersection before entering it. What if he gets the timing off? Or I have to slam on the breaks because some kid is walking by? It seems pretty simple to me but this happens to me all the time, happened today and it was really really close.

I am a nanny I always have Julia with me ( an adorable three year old). Don't they have any idea what they are risking? Morons.


----------



## miniman

I will join you in that vent - not only with junctions but general the quality of driving is poor - people only thinking of their "need" and not considering other road users.


----------



## texasgirl

BIL is now stage 4 Mesotheleoma. I don't understand!! He looked better than I have seen him since he's been sick, last Saturday!! I can't stand this!! I don't know if I can do this again!!


----------



## PieSusan

^I am soooo sorry texasgirl.


----------



## kadesma

texasgirl said:


> BIL is now stage 4 Mesotheleoma. I don't understand!! He looked better than I have seen him since he's been sick, last Saturday!! I can't stand this!! I don't know if I can do this again!!


Stacy, I know you and I know how big your heart is..You can and will do it as much as it hurts, because it would hurt you more not to...If prayer helps, then know I'm sending it as I've been doing only I'll double my efforts for him, you and the family and that he may have some freedom from any pain and some peace of mind.
cj


----------



## expatgirl

Stacy, what do the doctor(s) have to say about this?  Don't lose hope.......you know that we're here for you.......I'm so sorry for the pain and suffering that your family is going thru now............


----------



## texasgirl

expatgirl said:


> Stacy, what do the doctor(s) have to say about this?  Don't lose hope.......you know that we're here for you.......I'm so sorry for the pain and suffering that your family is going thru now............



Not much to say. Mesotheleoma is fatal, 100% There is no remission for this cancer. They are going to try another chemo, yet again. I wish they would find something for cancer. I wonder where all that money goes that people donate for a cure


----------



## LPBeier

Stacy, I am here for you and like Kades said, if prayer helps know I am sending it big time.  Your heart is big and so it gets hurt easily, but it is also that big heart that helps those around you feel better.  I know that they feel your love.  Take care my sweet friend.  And know that as I watch the same thing happen to a dear friend, I am here for you any time.  PM me if you want.


----------



## Barbara L

I'm praying as well Stacy.

Barbara


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Aww, Stacy, I don't even know what to say. It's heartbreaking when someone is "taken" before they get to enjoy every stage of life. And watching those we love suffer can be almost unbearable. One small consolation in situations like this is that you know it is coming and can say and do the things you feel are important. I hope your BIL can stay relatively comfortable and enjoy to the fullest whatever time he has left. Big hugs to you, my friend.


----------



## expatgirl

texasgirl said:


> Not much to say. Mesotheleoma is fatal, 100% There is no remission for this cancer. They are going to try another chemo, yet again. I wish they would find something for cancer. I wonder where all that money goes that people donate for a cure



oh, my,......my big, burly son just walked thru the kitchen and wanted to know why I was crying........I'm so so so very sorry.........I had no idea it was that bad and awful of a prognosis for you and your family...... please,  there's another fellow TX shoulder to lean on.........I lived with my mother's cancer when I was 9 years old beginning at age 6..........she never gave up hope.......neither should you..........


----------



## deelady

Prayers are with you and your family Stacy....{{{hug}}}


----------



## texasgirl

Thank you for your prayers!! It will definately be needed and very much appreciated!!


----------



## PieSusan

Stacy, all you can do is be there and in the short time that I have known you here, I am certain that you will be. If you need to vent, you know where I am. Hugs to you and your family and know that I have added you to a bunch of prayer lists. I know with my father, prayer helped a lot. He lived longer than the doctors said he would by two years!


----------



## texasgirl

PieSusan said:


> Stacy, all you can do is be there and in the short time that I have known you here, I am certain that you will be. If you need to vent, you know where I am. Hugs to you and your family and know that I have added you to a bunch of prayer lists. I know with my father, prayer helped a lot. He lived longer than the doctors said he would by two years!


 
And that is exactly what I am hoping for too!! The last that I heard, was 6 months to a year.


----------



## Mama

I'm so sorry to hear about your BIL, Stacy.  I'll be praying for your BIL, you and your whole family.


----------



## kadesma

texasgirl said:


> And that is exactly what I am hoping for too!! The last that I heard, was 6 months to a year.


We all love you and want to help Stacy..Let us lend a shoulder and send prayers..A little thing but gladly given
kadesma


----------



## MexicoKaren

I haven't been to this thread in awhile, and it's always hard to see my DC friends suffering! CJ, I cannot imagine anyone giving you a bad time - you are the essence of kindness and good sense. Having worked around doctors for all of my career, and having endured years of insanely bad treatment for my daughter's chronic illness, I can certainly understand what you're talking about. The US medical system is so frustrating and so EXPENSIVE. One of the things I like about our system here in Mexico is that you show up to see the doctor and he/she comes out of his/her office, says "Buenos Dias" and takes you right in. No meddling "middle'' people with egomania problems messing with you.

Stacy, I am so sorry to hear of the worry and sadness visiting your family. It is so hard to know what to say to someone with such a profoundly dire diagnosis. Hard to find the words for comfort. All you can do is what you are doing - be with him and let him know you love him.


----------



## texasgirl

kadesma said:


> We all love you and want to help Stacy..Let us lend a shoulder and send prayers..A little thing but gladly given
> kadesma


 
that is not a little thing and why I love it here!!


----------



## heb1976

kadesma said:


> Thanks Licia, I'm planning to do this for her. I've put it off as I was afraid I'd scare her, but, this has to be dealt with for all our sakes... My girls help me very often with her, but, they do let me take the lead when it comes to deciding things..My sister, well that is another story...Example, she has only been to see mom once since last Christmas, and that was becuase I demanded it...
> 
> It's nice to know I can come here to talk though.. Thanks again and hugs back.
> kadesma



Your family sounds like mine (the way your sister is).  If it wasn't for my mother - everything would fall apart.  I at least got some of her good sense when it comes to being there for family - at least I try.  Everyone else in the family can seriously kiss off anymore.  Huge hugs to ya!!!


----------



## PieSusan

^Yes, I am the only one who does anything.


----------



## PanchoHambre

UGH my dog just ate a POUND OF LARD!... ok most of it I was using it to season CI... there was probably 8/10 of it left... I stupidly forgot and left it on the counter while I went to eat dinner. returned to the kitchen and there was Tiger licking the empty wrapper.... ARGH I do not want to deal with the ramifications of this  tomorrow... at least his coat will be shiny.


----------



## Katie H

Oh, Pancho, my heart goes out to you.  Glad you can see the silver lining in the...cloud.


----------



## love2"Q"

PanchoHambre said:


> UGH my dog just ate a POUND OF LARD!... ok most of it I was using it to season CI... there was probably 8/10 of it left... I stupidly forgot and left it on the counter while I went to eat dinner. returned to the kitchen and there was Tiger licking the empty wrapper.... ARGH I do not want to deal with the ramifications of this  tomorrow... at least his coat will be shiny.


my dogs got into the turkey fryer oil one afternoon when i had to put 
them in the garage for an hour ...
not a fun couple of days after ..


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Oh no, Pancho! I suspect Tiger may have to go outside a lot more than usual for a day or 2. (Do watch him for a couple of hours as sometimes dogs can get a "bloat" after ingesting a huge amount of food - especially stuff you usually don't give them.) But you're right, his coat will be "_mahvelous_"!


----------



## PanchoHambre

LOL I know I am in trouble and Worst part is I have to work tomorrow.... all day! I dont want to think about what I am going to come home to


----------



## PieSusan

PanchoHambre said:


> UGH my dog just ate a POUND OF LARD!... ok most of it I was using it to season CI... there was probably 8/10 of it left... I stupidly forgot and left it on the counter while I went to eat dinner. returned to the kitchen and there was Tiger licking the empty wrapper.... ARGH I do not want to deal with the ramifications of this tomorrow... at least his coat will be shiny.


 
There is such a thing as doggie diapers. Perhaps you need some. I would also call the vet. Poor baby.


----------



## PanchoHambre

LOL Susan... I dont know about diapers.... they would have to be industrial strength... he is 80lbs of muscle.  I think he can probably handle it OK... he's a big pup. 

I need to not forget stuff is on the counter. He is tall enough to stand up and eat right off of it. Taking after his owner he loves the fats... he has eaten whole sticks of butter and drank my bacon grease.... one time I forgot and left an entire bowl of sausage and peppers on the stove and walked the little one...when I came back the bowl was in place and licked completely clean. and I spend $$$ on the fancy dog food

he knows he is not supposed to but if my attention is elsewhere he forages.

Tig seems OK this morning anyway. despite the cold I will take him out and let him run around a bit see if he can clean his system before I leave.


----------



## Katie H

PanchoHambre said:


> Tig seems OK this morning anyway. despite the cold I will *take him out* and let him run around a bit see if he can clean his system *before I leave*.



To use Martha Stewart's words, "That would be a _good thing_."


----------



## quicksilver

PieSusan said:


> There is such a thing as doggie diapers. Perhaps you need some. I would also call the vet. Poor baby.


 
Pancho, I've seen these online. So they must be available at the "Big Box" pet shops. They also have for male or female. And in different weigh sizes. Just like for babies. Poor baby. Good luck. Would be anxious to hear what the vet says.



Drs. Foster & Smith Piddle Pads® 




Simple Solution® Disposable Diapers​As low as $9.99 
SORRY, WRONG PIC, RIGHT SITE...
As low as $13.99


----------



## expatgirl

poor thing.......can you give them Immodium???  Of course I'd check with my vet........


----------



## PieSusan

My pipes froze and burst and my water is turned off. Plumbers will be here tomorrow or Monday hopefully. I have someone who had helped me with plumbing issues in the past. I may be stuck in for a couple days, I don't know if my garage door is frozen down or not.


----------



## PanchoHambre

UGH Susan that sucks

My kitchen cold water was frozen a bit this morning but started back up... I hope they dont burst there is no  basement or foundation under my kitchen because it was added on (in the 1880s) so the pipes run in the floor uninsulated for a few feet.... cant wait to rip out that crummy kitchen and get a proper foundation and insulate the pipes.

As far as my earlier vent Tig seems fine..... While I was at work the dogs must have been in kahootz with the cat because she knocked their box-o-treats off the fridge so they pigged out again. Fortunately we were low on treats maybe 1/8 bag of beggin strops and some other assorted goodies... I should have named him Pigger.


----------



## PieSusan

Pancho, my cat Pippin was a loveable mischevious boy who I loved dearly and still miss. When he was determined there was nothing that would stop him and he never learned. I think your Tig has a similar personality. It is sweet and funny as long as he doesn't cause himself health problems and you vet bills.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

I was wondering how Tig did today. Sounds like he has a cast-iron stomach! WooHoo! That cracks me up that he and the cat are working together. Wouldn't you love to set up a video camera when you leave for work? I'll bet it would be so funny to watch those two figuring out what to do next!


----------



## Barbara L

PanchoHambre said:


> ...As far as my earlier vent Tig seems fine..... While I was at work the dogs must have been in kahootz with the cat because she knocked their box-o-treats off the fridge so they pigged out again. Fortunately we were low on treats maybe 1/8 bag of beggin strops and some other assorted goodies... I should have named him Pigger.


My cats get into the bag of dog treats and take one out and throw it to the dog!  They are really getting it out to play with and chew on a little, but it sure looks like they are giving it to Cubbie!

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

so sorry to hear that, Susan...............I guess we folk in Texas shouldn't complain about our awful summers that are brutally hot and humid................our winters are actually quite nice.........hope that your plumber can sort things out for you ASAP..........


----------



## PanchoHambre

Darn Eagles.... typical... well there goes my Superbowl menu


----------



## Barbara L

PanchoHambre said:


> Darn Eagles.... typical... well there goes my Superbowl menu


Fried Eagle?  Eagle casserole?  Eagle Nuggets?  Eagle Cordon Bleu?

Barbara


----------



## PieSusan

expatgirl said:


> so sorry to hear that, Susan...............I guess we folk in Texas shouldn't complain about our awful summers that are brutally hot and humid................our winters are actually quite nice.........hope that your plumber can sort things out for you ASAP..........


 
Well, the contractor is bringing his son tomorrow morning but my plumbing won't be fixed until Tuesday. Monday my mom has a doctor's appointment that I can't cancel and it is going to around 20 degrees. She also to have her pacemaker checked and see her cardiologist on Wednesday. So, I am hoping all will work out in the end. I bought lots of water, the house is warm. The garage door is stuck up, now. lol.
Life is nothing but a bowl of cherries....I was offered to stay at a friend's house but I won't leave my kitties.


----------



## texasgirl

Barbara L said:


> Fried Eagle?  Eagle casserole?  Eagle Nuggets?  Eagle Cordon Bleu?
> 
> Barbara


----------



## PanchoHambre

Barbara L said:


> Fried Eagle?  Eagle casserole?  Eagle Nuggets?  Eagle Cordon Bleu?
> 
> Barbara



LOL!  right now i'm thinking skewered... with a side of Cardinal stew.


----------



## Alix

Storage closet that I cleaned and organized is now piled high with crap and impassable. Argh. I just don't have it in me to clean that up right now.


----------



## expatgirl

close the door, Alix, and get a glass of wine................it's better than blood pressure medicine    hang in there, GF


----------



## heb1976

I started cleaning my kitchen yesterday at 9Am and finished completely around 3:30PM.  Yes it was bad, but not extremely.  I washed the dishwasher and stove underneath to get that dust fur off - they are black and it really shows up.  I got out the magic eraser and scrubbed the floor by the cat dishes and water.  I magic erased the kitchen chairs - mainly the kids.  I took a toothbrush and scrubbed the crap out the kitchen table.  It is a tile top and in between the tiles have been neglected for awhile.  So, all this is done.  I told my kids and husband that I will kick there a$$ if this kitchen gets messy in less then 2 days.  If you spill something, clean it up.  If you get crumbs on the table, clean it up.  Not that hard.  UGH!  I wake up this morning, the sink is filled with coffee splatter (like it really that hard to get the hose and rinse it).  It was so shiny yesterday.  By the coffee pot we have 3 canisters; sugar, creamer and something coffee.  There had to be a spoonful of creamer and sugar on the counter from dh missing his cup.  Then, it seems the cats got into it last night so there are little furballs blowing around.  Explain to me again why I bother cleaning?  I know I am OCD - but c'mon, less then 24 hours?  It's just like everytime I clean the master bathroom - dh has to shave.  Of course he cannot clean up after himself so there is hair all in the sink and behind the faucet (I HATE HAIR).  Same with the boys bathroom, they are 8 & 4, there is no reason we should still be having pee on the seat.  So, from now on, it doesn't get cleaned unless they clean it.  I am sick of it.  I feel like a maid, not a mom.

O.K.  I feel better now.  Hope everyone is having a wonderful day!!


----------



## PieSusan

Well, I need the water company today to replace my water meter, the new pressure regulator is on but still I have no water and I have no idea if they will have to break cement to get to more pipe. I have been boiling bottled water to wash up and I think I will to go to my friends' house for a shower. I want to wash my hair. Hopefully, this will not drag on forever. I am beginning to grow very tired of roughing it but I know how fortunate that I am that I have electricity and heat. I am a water sign and not being able to bathe is so hard!


----------



## expatgirl

Mom is another word for Maid that's not paid..........I hate it, too......and I'm  in the same OCD line as you..........pee on the seat???  You ....haven't seen the last stream.....I walked in on some of my first graders with "dueling pistols"......I requested that the janitor come with his mop and bucket......he was quite surprised when I took it from him and ordered that the boys handle the 6 foot industrial strength mop by themselves...biggest grin I ever saw out of him....and scour the toilet and wash down the walls.......I was 3 months pregnant and could not tolerate any bad smells......all I had to say was do you want me to call your parents...........man, they scrubbed like crazy


----------



## heb1976

I would have paid to see that!!  LOL

I know that it isn't going to stop with the boys because my dh does it at times - especially when he goes in the middle of the night.  I know TMI.  There is just too much testosterone in my house.  I need some female bodies to help me in my fight - either that or I am kicking the boys (that includes my dh) out!  I used to have my oldest sit when he goes, but I didn't want him to get picked on in school for sitting instead of standing.


----------



## babetoo

heb1976 said:


> I started cleaning my kitchen yesterday at 9Am and finished completely around 3:30PM. Yes it was bad, but not extremely. I washed the dishwasher and stove underneath to get that dust fur off - they are black and it really shows up. I got out the magic eraser and scrubbed the floor by the cat dishes and water. I magic erased the kitchen chairs - mainly the kids. I took a toothbrush and scrubbed the crap out the kitchen table. It is a tile top and in between the tiles have been neglected for awhile. So, all this is done. I told my kids and husband that I will kick there a$$ if this kitchen gets messy in less then 2 days. If you spill something, clean it up. If you get crumbs on the table, clean it up. Not that hard. UGH! I wake up this morning, the sink is filled with coffee splatter (like it really that hard to get the hose and rinse it). It was so shiny yesterday. By the coffee pot we have 3 canisters; sugar, creamer and something coffee. There had to be a spoonful of creamer and sugar on the counter from dh missing his cup. Then, it seems the cats got into it last night so there are little furballs blowing around. Explain to me again why I bother cleaning? I know I am OCD - but c'mon, less then 24 hours? It's just like everytime I clean the master bathroom - dh has to shave. Of course he cannot clean up after himself so there is hair all in the sink and behind the faucet (I HATE HAIR). Same with the boys bathroom, they are 8 & 4, there is no reason we should still be having pee on the seat. So, from now on, it doesn't get cleaned unless they clean it. I am sick of it. I feel like a maid, not a mom.
> 
> O.K. I feel better now. Hope everyone is having a wonderful day!!


 
making the kids do it  sounds good to me. i lived with my son who has two boys. teenagers when i was there. one of them simply would not raise the lid. finally i said it wasn't getting cleaned by me anymore. he didn't do it but once in a while my ddl did. he was and is a slob. he married one, hope she likes wet toliet seats.


----------



## PieSusan

I still have no water. I am waiting for the water company to come and replace my water meter and my own expense. At least the garage door motor was replaced and works again. I am very tired. Sigh.

The bright spot in my day--my mom's heart and pacemaker and blood pressure are all good according to her cardiologist.


----------



## PanchoHambre

what a pain Susan.... winter sucks.


----------



## deelady

PieSusan said:


> I still have no water. I am waiting for the water company to come and replace my water meter and my own expense. At least the garage door motor was replaced and works again. I am very tired. Sigh.
> 
> The bright spot in my day--my mom's heart and pacemaker and blood pressure are all good according to her cardiologist.


 

 sorry to hear about this! Hope it gets back to normal very soon!!


----------



## expatgirl

I'm sorry, Susan........I know what a pain that is........in KZ you'd get up some mornings to artic cold water when they turned the hot off.......not much fun trying to take a shower......so like pioneers you'd heat up 4 large pots of cold water and do the best you could....difficult if you have long hair that needs washing..........trust me.......


----------



## PieSusan

Yes, still no water. Harumph...


----------



## Barbara L

We had 4 free movie tickets left, so we decided to de-stress by going to the movies tonight. The second movie we saw was "Inkheart" (great movie) at 10:00. The theater next to ours was showing an "R" rated movie (Notorious). We went and sat down, then three boys, around 12 or 13 years old, came in and sat three rows in front of us. They were acting a little goofy, and I hoped they were going to settle down. A girl or woman (we didn't see her) was with them, but she sat in the back. The previews started, and the boys settled down. So far, so good.

Then about 6-10 teenagers came in and sat about 3 or 4 rows behind us. They were quiet the two times the manager came through, but the rest of the movie was miserable because of them. We were able to watch and enjoy it, in spite of them, but it wasn't a good experience. They made stupid noises through the whole movie. They were chasing each other. One was evidently so drunk or high that he couldn't even walk or stand up straight and he kept falling down. They were talking loud and cussing. It was obvious that they weren't there to see the movie. I thought about getting up right then and saying something to the manager, but truthfully I was scared of them, since I didn't know if they were the type to get mad when someone came in to say something to them and pull a knife or something. So I didn't do anything until we left.

When we were done watching the movie, I said something to the girl at the concession counter. She called the manager, and I told her. She gave us two free tickets because of the trouble. I said, "Why would they spend that much money on a movie, just to act like idiots and not watch the movie?" She said that they had tried to get into the "R" rated movie but couldn't, so they went in there instead. As James and I said later, they should have just kicked them out instead of letting them ruin a movie (that they didn't want to see) for everyone else.

Evidently the teenagers that caused the problems were waiting outside for their parents to pick them up. As James and I walked past them, and to our car, one of them kept saying really loudly, "Hey sir, I think you need some Slim Fast." Stupid Jerk.

Barbara


----------



## miniman

Thats horrid, it does make me upset that so many do not have any idea of how to behave in public.


----------



## texasgirl

Some kids have absolutely no respect when kids that do hang around them, it seems they lose theirs too. Kids are stupid, period. Until they grow up and learn morals, it's best to let it roll off. I know, it's hard though coming from anyone. I've dealt with the names and comments too. Tell him we love him and a punk is a punk and doesn't matter!!


----------



## PieSusan

I am sorry that your evening was ruined by some immature behavior, Barbara.


----------



## Mama

It's a good thing for them that I'm not their mama and found out about it!


----------



## PieSusan

Someone scared me half to death on the freeway last night in a blizzard, no less. There were no other cars around I was going 65 mph and the car behind me wanted me to either go faster or move over--I didn't think it was safe tgo go faster and I figured he could go around me. Instead, he chose to blind me with his brights to force me over. He startled me and I am lucky that I didn't get in an accident. I looked and moved over but the adrenalin started pumping and the cortisol and I wound up with soreness in my chest and all tensed up. This was after I went for a massage to feel better and to destress after all the problems that I have had to deal with regards to my mom and the plumbing. There are a lot of jerks on the road who don't know how to drive in icy, snowy conditions.


----------



## PieSusan

On top of everything else my mom caught somone's cold. She has a bit of a fever and a bad cough and I am very worried about her.


----------



## PanchoHambre

Hate the aggressive drives.... I have to drive in Jersey everyday  LOL!

De-stressing can prove challenging in any case 

best wishes to your mom


----------



## texasgirl

Jeez susan, it's gotta get better lady!! Prayers for mom and just be glad that you did make it home safely.


----------



## PieSusan

It is why I am so stressed out. It is hard enough dealing with dementia let alone all the normal stuff in one's life. I am really fortunate though. I have a roof over my head, it is warm, I now have water and my belly is full. It could be worse but I am scared that one of these bugs will be my mom's last. I have been a caregiver for so long, I don't know what I'll do with myself. I'll probably head south to relax and clear my head for awhile.


----------



## babetoo

PieSusan said:


> It is why I am so stressed out. It is hard enough dealing with dementia let alone all the normal stuff in one's life. I am really fortunate though. I have a roof over my head, it is warm, I now have water and my belly is full. It could be worse but I am scared that one of these bugs will be my mom's last. I have been a caregiver for so long, I don't know what I'll do with myself. I'll probably head south to relax and clear my head for awhile.


   hang in sweetie, you are an angel. just take a little care of yourself.


----------



## PieSusan

I was so hoping to take a break and head down south but I might not be able to.


----------



## Barbara L

texasgirl said:


> Some kids have absolutely no respect when kids that do hang around them, it seems they lose theirs too. Kids are stupid, period. Until they grow up and learn morals, it's best to let it roll off. I know, it's hard though coming from anyone. I've dealt with the names and comments too. Tell him we love him and a punk is a punk and doesn't matter!!


Thanks everyone.    Yeah, we just walked on as if we didn't hear them (well, James did give the one who said it a "look").  James even prayed for them as we drove home.

Barbara


----------



## Barbara L

I'm still praying for you Susan.

Barbara


----------



## MexicoKaren

Ah, Susan, I'm so sorry that your mom is sick, and that you are worried. Sounds like you finally have water? I hope so. Stressful days for you lately. 

Barbara and James - before we left the US, we had just about atopped going to movie theaters because of the behavior you describe. My daughter managed movie theaters for ten years - she finally quit when her boss would not back her up when she'd kick rowdy teenagers out of the theater. Their parents would come in and complain, make a fuss, and the regional manager would GIVE THEM FREE PASSES. So don't be too hard on the manager - if it's Regal Cinemas, the customer is always right, even if they can't behave themselves.


----------



## expatgirl

hey, from warm hand to another.........squeeze hard.........


----------



## PieSusan

Thanks BarbaraL and MexicoKaren. I have water but there are a bunch of plumbing issues being worked on and we need to break a wall. At least we are making progress but my mom's fever climbed a bit. Sigh


----------



## Barbara L

MexicoKaren said:


> Ah, Susan, I'm so sorry that your mom is sick, and that you are worried. Sounds like you finally have water? I hope so. Stressful days for you lately.
> 
> Barbara and James - before we left the US, we had just about atopped going to movie theaters because of the behavior you describe. My daughter managed movie theaters for ten years - she finally quit when her boss would not back her up when she'd kick rowdy teenagers out of the theater. Their parents would come in and complain, make a fuss, and the regional manager would GIVE THEM FREE PASSES. So don't be too hard on the manager - if it's Regal Cinemas, the customer is always right, even if they can't behave themselves.


It was Regal Cinemas, but actually ours will kick people out if they are a problem--I've seen them do it.  In fact, there are police on patrol inside and outside there (at least on weekends, and possibly other days).  That night a police officer was standing in front of the theater showing "Notorious" as everyone went in.  I didn't have a problem with the manager--as I said to her, there really wasn't anything they could do about them, since they were quiet when she walked through the theater.  I think we will stick to weeknights for movies whenever we can!

Barbara


----------



## babetoo

i am sure there are others here, that remember when at&t was the only phone company, would those days were here again. i spent three hours and to no avail on phone today trying to get deborah's phone back on. not billing problems but a long drawn out deal trying to get faster internet. she is taking a class on line to try and change her profession. she has dial up with verizon and that is all they can get where she lives. very slow. in any case no phone or internet. the upshot of results is no results. she has to call and open a whole new account and it takes eight days. she will miss to much of class.

and another vent. she signed up for three classes all told. work and school were going to keep her busy. she went yesterday to buy books and can only afford to take two classes the books for three and all the other stuff , came to 600 which she does not have. so she kept internet class which she now can't take. and did take one of the other two. the counselor called her this am and asked why she dropped them when she had a grant, no letter about a grant and no phone call three days ago when deb. had called her. so off to college to straighten it out. no grant, no help counselor was wrong. this world is going to hell in a hand basket because no one talks to each other. and no one checks and double checks their information . gosh i am mad. maybe i will feel better now that i have VENTED


----------



## texasgirl

Why are kids so hateful and say such hurtful things? I don't think mine will ever grow up!!


----------



## expatgirl

I taught mine to stand up for themselves as much as possible........one girl in the neighborhood taunted my daughter with "Kari the Fairy"........she came home crying as all the kids were laughing............I told her to go back outside and call her "Annie the Bananie" (I know.......childish but we're dealing with children here) she did and she told me later after the kids laughed at Annie and that she stopped taunting her immediately.....she was beaming................she later became a great debater both in high school and college.......noone crossed her verbally

as to why they do it.......it's a sense of power esp. if the victim cries.........if it's a child larger than them then you go talk to the parents......believe me I know how you feel


----------



## Barbara

I saw Inkheart (in  nice quiet matinee) it was very good, I enjoyed it. Helen Mirren is good in everything.


----------



## texasgirl

Today is my 24th anniversary. I woke up and thought about that and cried. Where did it go? What do I have to show for it? Yes, I have 2 kids at least. 24 years of nothing. We co exist is the best I can describe. I love him and I would never do anything to hurt him, but, I wonder if it's going to be this way for the rest of my life? We go to work, come home, eat, go to bed. We don't do anything together, never did. Last movie we saw together was the first Batman. He took me out to eat on my B-day 5 years ago and griped about the food. Ok, I will go any further, not worth boring you. Just had to let it out There is nothing in the works as a gift either. I had to get new tires the other day as one blew and 2 others were showing thread, so, I get home, he says Happy Anniversary.


----------



## Alix

Aw Stacy, I'm sorry. I know that is small comfort though. I also know that although you guys aren't exactly what you want to be there is caring there. You have gone over and above to help him with his swallowing issues and finding palatable things for him. You have such a huge heart for everyone you deserve to have someone treat you like the Queen you are. I'm sorry he isn't able (for whatever reason) to do that for you. But know sweet Stacy that we all recognize your loving and giving heart. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Stacy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I really wish I could do that in person, but this will have to do. 

PS, and you have accomplished a LOT in your life. Just maybe not all the things you thought you would. You have touched the lives of people all over the world Stacy. Well, at least in Canada ...


----------



## kadesma

Stacy,
There was something special 24 years ago, it's still there, it's just that the years have pushed back and you need to look for it, shine it up and remember  what it was that made your heart beat so fast. You know how he is and you've chosen to accept it..There must be a reason STacy a small glimmer of that young man from long ago who made your heart skip a beat. I know he is set in his ways and can be a pita right? We all have one of those, but there are time when my attitude causes it. So, now that first flush is gone, but a deep abiding love is there..Look at him when he doesn't  know that you are,do you see what is left of your heart throb, try to do something each day that you know he likes..But first off, don't expect a big deal from it. Do it to boost Stacy..I know what a wonderful, loving,giving woman you are and as I told you you are like someone very special in my life and you know what I told you. Stacy, we all love the cards, flower, dinners out but we also know that if they are dissapointed in the road life has taken them, they become  old grumps instead of young heros...learn to accept a good meal or the house looks nice of any small thing he says or does..I'll be here praying he opens his eyes and realizes what a gift he has...Know that your loved and that you are ever so special and will always be.
cj


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Telephone*

As many of you have heard for some time I have tried to figure out how to get my neighbor's son to stop listening to my phone calls.  He works for a computer company and he listens every day.  I have had t his going on for almost 5 years since my brother who is disabled got out of nursing home.  I HAVE to call him daily to make sure he is alive.  No one else in family will call and check on him.  Too much of bother.  I prayed about this situation as I know this has happened to make me upset.  \This kid  only listens to my conversations as his mother and I cannot get along.  She is such a spoiled person and is spoiling her son.  When he was still in high school I knew he would be goofball.  (I have already spent over $600 on private investigator to find out results and to be honest they tried to just do things that I had to pay for)  

I thought my prayers were answered when he got another job in September working for contracting company.  He was so dumb he drove the t rucks over here to visit his mom while he was working.  Then in January they laid him off.  I wonder why.  He is back at the computer company and on the phone!  

Example:  I wanted to see reaction I would get if I told my brother the woman must have lesbian tendencies as she is so concerned about only me.  The very next day she started leaving the house to babysit her son's child at his house.  Also, my niece involved in Dog Rescue she only has 13 now.  Used to have 16.  Talking to my brother about this only gave her idea to join dog rescue group.  Now she has the dogs and on regular basis they are getting out of the yard and I try not to worry as she should realize she has to be responsible.  Happens to often.  

I do not like to be this way as I am going against my religion by hating my neighbor.  When you try being nice she reacts with some kind of evil act.  Sorry to bring this up again but it is really starting to affect me calling my brother.  He just doesn't want to say hello and hang up.  He has no one else to talk to.  He tells me most of his friends are gone.  (died)  Using the cell phone costs me 25 cents minute.  Have to watch every luxury I have.  
Just called to tell him I was picking him up for doctor appointment and he plays stupid games.  My brother couldn't hear me until this kid stopped making the voice go through.

Calling police, phone company, FCC,, Attorney General, representatives, does absolutely no good.  Police tell me to see psychiatrist.  Sometimes I wonder what has to happen before people will listen.  

Just hope your neighbors don't go this far.  So hateful.  Can't live and let live!


----------



## expatgirl

In the Kitchen said:


> As many of you have heard for some time I have tried to figure out how to get my neighbor's son to stop listening to my phone calls.  He works for a computer company and he listens every day.  I have had t his going on for almost 5 years since my brother who is disabled got out of nursing home.  I HAVE to call him daily to make sure he is alive.  No one else in family will call and check on him.  Too much of bother.  I prayed about this situation as I know this has happened to make me upset.  \This kid  only listens to my conversations as his mother and I cannot get along.  She is such a spoiled person and is spoiling her son.  When he was still in high school I knew he would be goofball.  (I have already spent over $600 on private investigator to find out results and to be honest they tried to just do things that I had to pay for)
> 
> I thought my prayers were answered when he got another job in September working for contracting company.  He was so dumb he drove the t rucks over here to visit his mom while he was working.  Then in January they laid him off.  I wonder why.  He is back at the computer company and on the phone!
> 
> Example:  I wanted to see reaction I would get if I told my brother the woman must have lesbian tendencies as she is so concerned about only me.  The very next day she started leaving the house to babysit her son's child at his house.  Also, my niece involved in Dog Rescue she only has 13 now.  Used to have 16.  Talking to my brother about this only gave her idea to join dog rescue group.  Now she has the dogs and on regular basis they are getting out of the yard and I try not to worry as she should realize she has to be responsible.  Happens to often.
> 
> I do not like to be this way as I am going against my religion by hating my neighbor.  When you try being nice she reacts with some kind of evil act.  Sorry to bring this up again but it is really starting to affect me calling my brother.  He just doesn't want to say hello and hang up.  He has no one else to talk to.  He tells me most of his friends are gone.  (died)  Using the cell phone costs me 25 cents minute.  Have to watch every luxury I have.
> Just called to tell him I was picking him up for doctor appointment and he plays stupid games.  My brother couldn't hear me until this kid stopped making the voice go through.
> 
> Calling police, phone company, FCC,, Attorney General, representatives, does absolutely no good.  Police tell me to see psychiatrist.  Sometimes I wonder what has to happen before people will listen.
> 
> Just hope your neighbors don't go this far.  So hateful.  Can't live and let live!



if I knew how to just preface certain sentences and not the whole text I would......anyway......if you know for a fact that he's bombarding you give him junk mail to process........that's what experts recommend to do with companies that send you paper landslides in the mail......just mail it back to them.........they have to pay for it.............and I'm sorry and hope that you resolve your problem quickly......


----------



## expatgirl

texasgirl said:


> Today is my 24th anniversary. I woke up and thought about that and cried. Where did it go? What do I have to show for it? Yes, I have 2 kids at least. 24 years of nothing. We co exist is the best I can describe. I love him and I would never do anything to hurt him, but, I wonder if it's going to be this way for the rest of my life? We go to work, come home, eat, go to bed. We don't do anything together, never did. Last movie we saw together was the first Batman. He took me out to eat on my B-day 5 years ago and griped about the food. Ok, I will go any further, not worth boring you. Just had to let it out There is nothing in the works as a gift either. I had to get new tires the other day as one blew and 2 others were showing thread, so, I get home, he says Happy Anniversary.



if I can give some advice, Stacy......you've been together 24 years and it's boring......well......if you took a poll ............you'd probably get similar responses........Happy Anniversary.......at least he remembered.......  I think you have the blues and going thru the change.....trust me......if you are you are on THE hormonal roller coaster........you will be up one day and in the troughs the next....just go with the flow if this is the problem .......you will feel better and glad that an old boring hubby stuck with you......  Please cheer up.....you don't throw away 24 years......you know how you can spice things up............and you know how their brain cells react...........  I hope all works out......


----------



## LPBeier

Great News!!! Our new vanity arrived today and was installed; the plumber came just as the first guy was leaving to hook up the water to the sink and the flooring company called to set up a time to do the last of the floors!!!!

Okay, you are saying, why is this in the venting thread?

We never got a chance to check the vanity out before the plumber got in there.  The vanity was built 2 inches too short and now the plumber has to unhook it, they have to remove and rebuild it (even the doors will have to be done over), reinstall it, have the plumber come back again and put off the flooring guys once more.

So, basically today never happened. 

Okay, I feel better now.


----------



## Barbara L

Ah rats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I'm sorry!

Barbara


----------



## Constance

Well, I am super PO'd at my worthless, druggie, stealing, lying bum of a grandson. We raised him from age 3, and we didn't raise him this way. 

I have been loving, patient and forgiving, but I am fed up. I have had enough. 

As far as Kim and I are concerned, he's on his own. Sometimes there's just things you have to do!


----------



## Alix

Yikes! I'm sorry you have to deal with that Constance. FWIW, tough love really does work. I hope things shape up soon.


----------



## kadesma

Constance said:


> Well, I am super PO'd at my worthless, druggie, stealing, lying bum of a grandson. We raised him from age 3, and we didn't raise him this way.
> 
> I have been loving, patient and forgiving, but I am fed up. I have had enough.
> 
> As far as Kim and I are concerned, he's on his own. Sometimes there's just things you have to do!


Oh Connie,
I'm sorry, we love the heck out of these kids, take care of them, give til it hurts at times and WHAM they seem to just turn on us. I think we have to step back and be tough and it will be the hardest thing we will ever feel. We pray but we don't give in and we pray some more...Mine are still little, and even now it's hard to say no, but I've learned to do it, you can and will too dear Connie.I'll pray for him and for peace for you
kades


----------



## LPBeier

I am sorry to hear that Constance.  My prayers are with you and Kim...and with your grandson that he might some day see what you have done for him and get on the right track.


----------



## Katie H

Oh, Connie, I'm sorry to hear of your challenges.  Tough love is so hard.  We went through a very difficult time with our oldest son.  Nearly killed Buck and me, but he (finally) turned around.  Even became a Marine and served during Desert Storm and has become the most wonderful young man.  Totally different person.


----------



## Reanie525i

texasgirl said:


> Today is my 24th anniversary. I woke up and thought about that and cried. Where did it go? What do I have to show for it? Yes, I have 2 kids at least. 24 years of nothing. We co exist is the best I can describe. I love him and I would never do anything to hurt him, but, I wonder if it's going to be this way for the rest of my life? We go to work, come home, eat, go to bed. We don't do anything together, never did. Last movie we saw together was the first Batman. He took me out to eat on my B-day 5 years ago and griped about the food. Ok, I will go any further, not worth boring you. Just had to let it out There is nothing in the works as a gift either. I had to get new tires the other day as one blew and 2 others were showing thread, so, I get home, he says Happy Anniversary.



I know how you feel - If it helps at all I want to tell you that I know exactly how you feel. I have been in a 5 year relationship that sounds alot like yours-- My birthday was 6 months ago and I am still waiting for my present along with my Christmas present. I keep hoping they will really appear but I guess it was not important enough for him to make the effort to get them. After all this time there really is no excuse except that he did not care enough to bother. I keep trying to make excuses for him but I give up. I really do care about him but after awhile I seem to  care less and less. Try to be happy and realize that it is his problem not yours and that you deserve better. I know its not the same but maybe you should treat yourself to something special to celebrate you!!!! I hope things get better for you!!!


----------



## texasgirl

kadesma said:


> Stacy,
> There was something special 24 years ago, it's still there, it's just that the years have pushed back and you need to look for it, shine it up and remember  what it was that made your heart beat so fast. You know how he is and you've chosen to accept it..There must be a reason STacy a small glimmer of that young man from long ago who made your heart skip a beat. I know he is set in his ways and can be a pita right? We all have one of those, but there are time when my attitude causes it. So, now that first flush is gone, but a deep abiding love is there..Look at him when he doesn't  know that you are,do you see what is left of your heart throb, try to do something each day that you know he likes..But first off, don't expect a big deal from it. Do it to boost Stacy..I know what a wonderful, loving,giving woman you are and as I told you you are like someone very special in my life and you know what I told you. Stacy, we all love the cards, flower, dinners out but we also know that if they are dissapointed in the road life has taken them, they become  old grumps instead of young heros...learn to accept a good meal or the house looks nice of any small thing he says or does..I'll be here praying he opens his eyes and realizes what a gift he has...Know that your loved and that you are ever so special and will always be.
> cj



Actually, it was a 14 year old girl thinking she was "all that" cause she had an older guy with a job and car. Got pregnant, married, and that is where it all went down hill. I don't want to see that person ever again. He's better than the drinking, druggy that abused me for 15 years. My fault for being to wimpy to leave. I'm fine. I'm happy and I have a roof over my head. He can just be a jerk sometimes.


----------



## Nils Hoyum

Constance said:


> Well, I am super PO'd at my worthless, druggie, stealing, lying bum of a grandson. We raised him from age 3, and we didn't raise him this way.
> 
> I have been loving, patient and forgiving, but I am fed up. I have had enough.
> 
> As far as Kim and I are concerned, he's on his own. Sometimes there's just things you have to do!


I have had some experience with this sort of thing. It sounds like you need to let go, like you said. People locked in that sort of life can't be changed until they bottom out. Once that happens, then it may be time to put him into treatment. I am sorry you have to go through this. It is not easy.


----------



## kadesma

texasgirl said:


> Actually, it was a 14 year old girl thinking she was "all that" cause she had an older guy with a job and car. Got pregnant, married, and that is where it all went down hill. I don't want to see that person ever again. He's better than the drinking, druggy that abused me for 15 years. My fault for being to wimpy to leave. I'm fine. I'm happy and I have a roof over my head. He can just be a jerk sometimes.


Of course he can..but I hate to see you just settle..I understand how that can happen, but still it bothers me...You deserve far more than a roof..Do what you need and want to do..I'm here if you need me for any reason.
hugs,
kades


----------



## texasgirl

Too chicken to do what I want to do. lol


----------



## Reanie525i

It's not easy to leave even when your not happy - I think if we leave we have to face the fact that we were wrong and believed in someone when we should have given up a long time ago - keep thinking things will change and get better - when we leave we also leave our hopes and dreams that we thought were really worth waiting for - but now we realize no matter how long we wait it will never be long enough because if after so many years it hasn't changed it probably never will.


----------



## kadesma

Reanie525i said:


> It's not easy to leave even when your not happy - I think if we leave we have to face the fact that we were wrong and believed in someone when we should have given up a long time ago - keep thinking things will change and get better - when we leave we also leave our hopes and dreams that we thought were really worth waiting for - but now we realize no matter how long we wait it will never be long enough because if after so many years it hasn't changed it probably never will.


Of course it's not easy, nothing in life is really easy..placing your trust in someone you love is never wrong, it's just not treated with respect from your partner..Leaving can do wonders for your ego and there is nothing wrong in loving yourself. When we love ourselves we can give love and accept it with no worry. Sit down and give things a long hard look see..You change your wants and needs as we learn to deal with ourselves and what we want and need and we learn others wants and needs.If you have a dream, starting over and working towards it can breath life into your soul.Always remember that beautiful face that looks back at you each morning is special, and deserves  to achieve that dream.Life is what we make it, not what someone else provides, you matter and yes you can learn to start over and give that love you have inside, after you love YOU.
kadesma


----------



## Dina

Goodness. It saddens me to read about everyone's problems here. I'm sorry to hear about your situation Texasgrl. Marriage is not easy. There are many compromises to make. But if you BOTH hold on to what brought you together, both of you will find ways to make it work. Do what you feel is best for YOU.

Well this past week hasn't been the best for me. This perimenopause is not treating me all that well. I've been so moody and stressed. We took a Spring Break trip to Orlando last week with my mom and oh, let me tell you...it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. I lost it trying to please everyone. My DH and kids were way ahead of us at the parks while mom and I stayed behind. I didn't like it as I wanted everyone to stay together. To make a long story short, I ended up with a severe flare up of eczema on my legs and a horrible cold during the trip. I was miserable with the burning and itching on the legs. We made it back Sunday and I've been able to sooth my legs with Aveeno products and hydrocortizones. Being home and just getting whatever I can done around here helps. Can't say I've relaxed cause I've had tons of laundry, house cleaning, cooking, and sick kids that caught my cold. Blah!

On top of it, I started cutting my daughter's first communion dress to begin sewing and realized I cut it too small. Argh! Luckily, I cut it on muslin. Now I'll have to go back and grade the pattern again. I'm so tired I should go to bed and stop whinning. Sorry but needed to vent. I feel so much better now.


----------



## kadesma

Dina,
menopause is no picnic, but we all go through it and we find ways to cope. It can be very stressful, so we need to remember to do something for ourselves, to make us feel that life is wonderful. It is, but families tend to take us for granted..Kids will let us do everything for them and forget that special hug or a thank you.. So, it's up to us to remind them..We don't have to yell or anything we just wait til they do something we want and then we give them that special quick hug and thank you and go about our business. If worse comes to worse we call a family pow wow..That is when we tell tham that from now on 3 times a week from 7-9 we are going to read that new book and we do NOT expect to be ask for anything till we get through, it has to be dire emegency to interrupt...There will be no help with home work, no ride to a friends, no making cookies for school cause we forgot... Dina you have done countless thing for them all of them, now it's your turn. And they need to listen when you ask for something simple like stying together to enjoy the park you went to..They need to understand you are due a lot of love and respect for all you do. Where would they be if you got sick? So take that time for yourself and do NOT feel guilty, you have earned it.
kades


----------



## Dina

Thanks CJ!  I do get a thank you every evening after dinner.  I do feel appreciated most of the time just overwhelmed with so much.  The family is aware of my condition so they tend to keep it peaceful so I won't stress more.  Right now my sink is full of dirty dishes and piles of laundry to fold on the couch.  I'm waiting for the kids to come home to have them fold clothes.  My little one is upstairs organizing his toys in some new drawers I got him.  Yey!  I did manage to sleep 8 hours so I feel good today.  The eczema is slowly fading out thankfully. I'm taking it one day at a time.  I know life is wonderful (just please keep reminding me dear).  I know I have to make the best of what life throws at me even these hot flashes and mood swings...blah!


----------



## LPBeier

I have another sinus infection and an infected sore inside my nose so am on high dose anti-biotic and rest once again to cure it and to make sure the infection doesn't travel to my knee.  The weather is affecting my fybromyalgia and arthritis and my memory is like a sieve.  I make cookies and bars for our youth group's annual retreat and got mixed up on days and times and was going to make them this morning (thinking it was Thursday) for them to take when they left Friday afternoon and they left this morning at 7:00 am.

There, I feel better, just needed to get it all out.  Having my Dad here has really been a blessing because it has helped me to concentrate on someone else, eat better, get out and be up for him and Tony.  But I don't want to give them my negativity so I really appreciate that I can say what I need to here.


----------



## Barbara L

You are all filliing up my prayer list, but that's okay!  I will continue praying for all your needs.  You are all part of my family.  

I don't really have a vent, but we would appreciate any and all prayers right now.  We are both still out of work (looking, but not finding) and we don't qualify for any "programs."  We are praying and trusting God, but some days (as I told Alix) I pray that God's plan for us isn't to witness to the "other homeless people."  I know this is going to sound stupid, but I don't worry as much about the two of us being homeless as long as we are together, but I worry about Cubbie and the cats!  Anyway, I really don't believe His plan is for us to be homeless, and I am praying very hard that things turn around very soon.  

Speaking of praying, do you remember we asked for prayers for the birth mom of the baby my friend adopted (sadly, as you know, the baby died at 4 months old)?  Well our prayers for the birth mom were answered.  I'm afraid that if I go into details, this will be removed for being "religious," but if you want details you can PM me.  

I hope everyone has a wonderful, blessed day!

Barbara


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks, Barbara, for your prayers.  I am actually okay, just needed to get it off my chest, so to speak.  I went to Costco since I wrote that (yah, so much for rest) and found my favourite cereal, regular $7.99 for the Costco size, on for $2.69 each and not out of date.  I bought two and am going back for more tomorrow!  So that really perked me up.  

And an answer to prayer, my Dad got the medical form for his driver's license renewal (here you have to do it every year after you turn 80) and told me that if I am okay with driving him around (I am) he will not take it and turn in his license.  That is a real relief for Tony, my sister and me. He is almost totally blind in one eye, very weak and his reflexes are bad from old age and arthritis.

Barbara, you know I understand your needs and already know the story of the birth mother and that you are ALL in my prayers - you and James are part of OUR family too!


----------



## texasgirl

I hope all gets better for EVERYONE!!!


----------



## luvs

STACY!!!!!!! i missed you!!


----------



## Barbara L

texasgirl said:


> I hope all gets better for EVERYONE!!!


Amen!

Thanks Laurie!  I am glad your dad decided not to renew his license.  I don't want anything bad to happen to him.    I guess I might as well come clean now, everyone.  James is in trouble (lol) because I am now hopelessly in love with Laurie's dad!  

Barbara


----------



## texasgirl

luvs said:


> STACY!!!!!!! i missed you!!


I've been here, lol. I just have a lot of things on my plate right now. I keep my windows open and check on everyone though. Thank you and I hope all is going well with school!!


----------



## kadesma

Barbara, James, I don't say to much, but I have had you both in my prayer list and I will continue to pray. We all love you both. HE will look out for you.
Laurie, take it easy and dad gets double hugs for his being wise and giving up driving.stacy, you know how I feel.
Luvs, good going on your school work and finals.
kadesma


----------



## Katie H

I'm lower than a worm in a wagon rut.  I just spent about 3 hours trying to sort out bills and paying a bunch.  There are still thousands and thousands of dollars of Buck's medical expenses that have to be attended to and the bill collectors are beginning to get nasty.  I pay them a little at a time but they aren't happy.  Can't get blood out of a turnip.  Plus, my utility bill for March was $606.00 and the bill for the shop was almost $300.00.  I feel as though I'm drowning.


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Apologize*

My oldest brother fell again and bruised his other shoulder.  He refuses to see doctor for fear that he will put him back in nursing home.  (I cannot say I blame him)  Last time he injured the other shoulder, they had him in part of home where people had Alzheimer, and other disabilities that required full nursing care.  Since it was my first time to have someone in home like this, I did not know that it was not right.  After a month, I finally asked the doctor why he was in this location?  He said, my brother did not want to walk.  I was shocked that he was told my brother wasn't walking.  I told the doc tor differently and they moved him to other side of nursing home where he could at least communicate with others and not treated as invalid.  

Due to my brother's experience I am learning that it is best if someone does check into y our surroundings.  Sure depressing.  Also had to buy some kind of bandage to have ice pack on his shoulder.  I could have gone to Wal Mart or some other place but I went specifically to a business that handles people with physical disabilities.  What I saw was sure sad and the people who work there sure have to hold their tongue when elderly people are so very rude.  They make all kinds of nasty faces and constantly complain.  I tried to understand and knew they are disgusted with themselves due to the many changes that they have to live with.  But I also feel it is no one's fault and not to be so 'crabby' to someone trying to help.  My brother is no prince either and he is demanding but no one else wants to help due to his complaining.  I am very grateful that he is able to remain in his home.  I know for sure that God is good to him.  My brother does believe and his situation is proof that my brother is getting most of what he would want.  

When I left the store yesterday I told the girl I sure hope I would not get old and treat her the way others do.  She was kind and laughed and said I probably wouldn't.  That is a prayer of mine that I try to stop general complaining and be more considerate of others.

Thanks for your time and hope your day has no heartaches.  Sorry  this is so long.  I figure if I write it , I will hopefully remember.


----------



## LPBeier

I am praying for everyone and your situations.

When Tony came home last night I was already in bed because of my sinus migraine.  He asked if I had seen the hole in the fence.  I had let the dogs out at 9 PM and there was no hole.  Two boards had been pushed through from the other side.  We didn't think anything of it until I went out to our freezer this morning and found it half empty.  I know that 4 packs of hot dogs are gone, but the main thing was a cake I had made and was testing its freezing ability for a wedding.  That cake had a lot of expensive items in it.  We have had a freezer on our back patio for three years with no problems.  Now we will be getting a lock on it.


----------



## MexicoKaren

So saddened to hear of so many problems among my friends here at DC, and I can't seem to stop thinking about the poor folks in North Dakota who are fighting to save their homes from flooding. Katie, I am so sorry that there seems to be no end in sight for all of the expense...how can you heal when the wounds keep reopening everytime you see one of those bills? And the heartlessness of bill collectors. Forgive me if any among our group here do this for a living, but I know for a fact that this is something I could not do. 

Sorry also to hear about your brother's problems, ITK...I sure hope he feels better soon and can stay out of the nursing home.

Barb and James - my daughter was where you are about a year ago. She was ill, and facing homelessness and was contemplating going to a shelter. New opportunities presented themselves and she is now living here with us in Mexico, healthy, with her own apartment and a full time job. You just never know what will happen if you keep your minds and hearts open. I know you do.

Buen dia to you all and hoping for no more sadness.


----------



## babetoo

LPBeier said:


> I have another sinus infection and an infected sore inside my nose so am on high dose anti-biotic and rest once again to cure it and to make sure the infection doesn't travel to my knee. The weather is affecting my fybromyalgia and arthritis and my memory is like a sieve. I make cookies and bars for our youth group's annual retreat and got mixed up on days and times and was going to make them this morning (thinking it was Thursday) for them to take when they left Friday afternoon and they left this morning at 7:00 am.
> 
> There, I feel better, just needed to get it all out. Having my Dad here has really been a blessing because it has helped me to concentrate on someone else, eat better, get out and be up for him and Tony. But I don't want to give them my negativity so I really appreciate that I can say what I need to here.


 
sounds like me the last couple days. have had a bad bad backache. think i pulled something while moving rather heavy pot of veggies. my knees are hurting really bad again, the right one being the worst. today trouble keeping blood sugar up, another new med. is the problem. new med is for nerve damage discomfort.  sometimes things are just bad. be better soon friend.


----------



## LPBeier

babetoo said:


> sounds like me the last couple days. have had a bad bad backache. think i pulled something while moving rather heavy pot of veggies. my knees are hurting really bad again, the right one being the worst. today trouble keeping blood sugar up, another new med. is the problem. new med is for nerve damage discomfort.  sometimes things are just bad. be better soon friend.



You too, babe.


----------



## LPBeier

We found out tonight that they caught the person who raided our freezer.  He hit a lot of yards in the complex and only stole things like food, a patio umbrella, some cardboard, and as we noticed later, a pair of old shoes DH only uses to clean up the back yard.  

Yes, the person who did all these horrible thefts was a homeless man.  He needed food and shelter and something for his feet.  The onsite managers were ready to call the police but polled all the people he stole from and we unanimously agreed he should be set free.  A man we know who runs some  recovery houses even agreed to give him a place to stay for the night.

I guess my venting over a silly cake and some hot dogs doesn't mean much in the big picture, does it?

I hope this man can get the help he needs.


----------



## kadesma

What is it they say, there but for the grace of god...There is so much of that going on Laurie..Each of us handle things as best we can. All of you should be proud of yourselves..To give food and shelter is a wonderful thing..Can you just imagine being so cold and hungry you have to steal?  Here's hoping the man gets help and you faith is rewarded.
kadesma


----------



## kadesma

How woulkd you handle a kid who decided a salami platter made for about 30 people was fair game. Using both hands to grab the salami, put so much in his mouth he couldn't close it? Then running his hands through the veggie platter, sticking fingers into the dip and then going to the patio door and spitting it out on the steps. It took me so by surprise my eyes bugged...I cleaned up after him and his mother had the nerve to get angry with me for asking him to please go and play with the other children. She said he was hungry and I had had enough..I told her so were the other kids but none of them were behaving like that.She spent about 5 min with him and he was a terror all day..It ended up with him taking Carson's cake away from him and stuffing it in his mouth..At that, I told his mother to make him behave or take his fanny home...She stomped off with him..My son in law thanked me and said he wanted to do that but didn't know if he should..Well I guess I should have shut up but no one is going to bully another kid and act like an animal..Kids need to be tought to mind so others will admire and respect them. that child needs all of that not to be dragged home because he is a bully. I feel sorry for him and would like to smack his mom. Now I feel like an ogre and a mean person,  blast it all.
kadesma


----------



## texasgirl

Katie, I'm so sorry you are going through the money thing. Collectors are real jerks. I think they find the worst people in the world to do some of those jobs. Hugs to you!!

Laurie, it's sad when you have to start locking things up after years of not worrying. Please think of it this way though, maybe the person that did this was in a really really bad way and has kids that were hungry. That doesn't help the loss, but, it would help with why.

ITK, I terribly sorry about your brother. Nursing homes can be horrid!! We are about to that stage of thinking about my grandmother. I hope we don't have to do it, but, if she keeps declining, we won't have a choice, as none of us are able to quit our jobs to be able to tend to her the 24/7 she needs. God Bless.

Babe, I hope you feel better really soon and your meds get steady.

Kades, don't you dare feel like that!! That dang kid needed his butt busted!! You are no more an ogre than I am a beauty queen!! LOL
You did what everyone at that party wanted to do and didn't, your sil even said so. I'm sure Carson is very thankful! I love you lady and everyone here knows there is no ogre in you unless someone messes with your babies and then, not ogre, but ,a momma bear!!


----------



## In the Kitchen

Just made a post about not complaining and here I am already.  Going in traffic really upsets me.  Why do people drive in passing lane and go slower than the regular lane?  I am sorry and certainly sorry that traffic makes me react  this way!  I truly believe people have no concern about others, only themselves.  Believe me, I am trying to be different.  Not easy.


----------



## kadesma

In the Kitchen said:


> Just made a post about not complaining and here I am already.  Going in traffic really upsets me.  Why do people drive in passing lane and go slower than the regular lane?  I am sorry and certainly sorry that traffic makes me react  this way!  I truly believe people have no concern about others, only themselves.  Believe me, I am trying to be different.  Not easy.


ITK,
You just keep being a considerate driver and try not to let the goofs bother you. It's hard I know, some people do inspire road rage don't they..I have learned not to let them upset me when I'm driving,because then I would be distracted and could possibly hurt someone.  So take a deep breath and ignore as best you can.
kadesma


----------



## expatgirl

I don't know about the laws of different states but on TX highways and freeways it's considered and assumed that the right lanes are the slower moving lanes..........this does not imply, however, that a driver goes waaaaaaaaaaay below the speed limit in the right lane either.........nothing is worse or more scary than when a line of cars are "waylaid by two cars in the left and the right lanes going nearly the same speed limit and causing a "stack-up" behind them usually late on a Sunday afternoon when most people are trying to end a long weekend and get home to relax..........there is or are usually some impatient driver(s) who will be so frustrated that they will err on the side of proper judgement and try and "get around the pack"......did I mention that I hate driving?


----------



## In the Kitchen

expatgirl said:


> I don't know about the laws of different states but on TX highways and freeways it's considered and assumed that the right lanes are the slower moving lanes..........this does not imply, however, that a driver goes waaaaaaaaaaay below the speed limit in the right lane either.........nothing is worse or more scary than when a line of cars are "waylaid by two cars in the left and the right lanes going nearly the same speed limit and causing a "stack-up" behind them usually late on a Sunday afternoon when most people are trying to end a long weekend and get home to relax..........there is or are usually some impatient driver(s) who will be so frustrated that they will err on the side of proper judgement and try and "get around the pack"......did I mention that I hate driving?



Can so relate, but as I am trying to do and not complain or annoy anyone, I will continue to try to ignore as kadesma suggested.   Would be most likely to happen that innocent individual would get hurt.  

sorry to gripe about it but I know you have been in my situation as well.  Doesn't really help when they say misery loves company in this case.  Only makes the problem worse to know others are having to accept others inconsideration.  Thanks for comments.  Do help to know others do understand what I am frustrated about.


----------



## kadesma

In the Kitchen said:


> Can so relate, but as I am trying to do and not complain or annoy anyone, I will continue to try to ignore as kadesma suggested.   Would be most likely to happen that innocent individual would get hurt.
> 
> sorry to gripe about it but I know you have been in my situation as well.  Doesn't really help when they say misery loves company in this case.  Only makes the problem worse to know others are having to accept others inconsideration.  Thanks for comments.  Do help to know others do understand what I am frustrated about.


ITK,
you are not annoying anyone, this why this thread is here so we can get things off our chests with our friends...Never feel you can't have a say..I enjoy your company no matter what we talk about.
kades


----------



## expatgirl

hey, I'm chiming in, too..........don't worry about what others think or might post......you're a big girl........you have a legitimate gripe......go with it.........there is NO way that you are going to satisfy everyone with  your postings.......yes, of course, you want to be polite but at the same time you have some legitimate issues to bring up..........so do so and don't worry about public censure.........venting is a forum that allows one to say what is bugging them........yeah, there are very inconsiderate drivers out there.........and you have to deal with them...........and you hate them........legitimate gripe..........


----------



## In the Kitchen

Thanks all!  So grateful to see understanding about what I feel and think.  Start off the day reading this gives me good feeling.  Also seeing how active the birds are again is a gift too.


----------



## kadesma

In the Kitchen said:


> Thanks all!  So grateful to see understanding about what I feel and think.  Start off the day reading this gives me good feeling.  Also seeing how active the birds are again is a gift too.


Good for you ITK, can I share my day with you?
I had a wonderful day with my grand son and grand daughter Ethan and Olivia, I made them breakfast and lunch,and that was fun they both are my taste testers We played outside and they helped me plant some flowers and then I just rested and watched as they played..I hated to see them leave today but I  so enjoyed having them here...I feel like I use to before I got sick..That is a wonderful way to feel..So I'll give thanks tonight and smile as I go to sleep.
kadesma


----------



## LadyCook61

The kitchen was reeking of gas yesterday, I can't use my oven or cooktop,  there is a gas leak , so hubby had to turn off the propane tank for now, until he can get hold of the gas man to check it out the leak.  

This morning I came downstairs to find a dead mouse at the bottom of the stairs.  With 6 cats in the house, I am surprised not one of them ate it, which I am glad , I sure don't want to see mouse guts first thing in the morning.


----------



## Wyogal

I am in school, and the teachers here seem to think it's O.K. for the students to use racial slurs, profanity, and homophobic slurs, even participating in the "fun."  I am looked at as a stick in the mud or a grouch because the constant barrage of negativity is getting me down. I'm by no means a prude, having been around the block a few times before these students were even born, but gee whiz, I'm paying tuition for this? I left my home, family for this? I'm changing careers for this? I have spoken with one administrator about my experience here and am about to talk to another in the morning. It makes me sick. I've been told by the chefs that this is just how kitchens are... I reminded one that they may choose to run THEIR kitchen that way, but this is an educational setting, a community college, and this type of behavior is unacceptable. He just shrugged his shoulders...


----------



## Alix

Stand your ground girl. You are doing the right thing. I'm sorry you have to put up with stuff like that in this day and age, but it just goes to show if we aren't vigilant then things will slide.


----------



## kitchenelf

Wyogal - There is no excuse for that kind of behavior in an educational setting NOR a commercial kitchen setting.  Where is the level of respect?  I agree with Alix; stand your ground!!!  And it's not how "kitchens are."


----------



## Wyogal

Thank-you for your encouragement!!!!!!! It means a lot to me. I feel so isolated here.  I'll let ya'll know how my meeting goes in the morning.


----------



## Alix

*cheering from the sidelines* GO WYOGAL!!!


----------



## luvs

i'm ticked at one of my instructors. the class is so stressed. she is a great person, except she lays way too much work on us. we have a 7-page study guide! for a test tomorrow for wine-tasting class. now, 7 pages is too many. granted, she gave us 1.5 hours of classtime to work on it. that's not my complaint, though. she expects us to memorize those SEVEN pages of material!!!!!
too much info & it's not teaching us, it's teaching us to cram info only to lose that info. i usually LOVE tests. not her's!! also, they soooooo stress communication to us in kitchens class. well, in my classes, i have a test tomorrow in each. they need to communicate between themselves 'bout test days!! plus, a very complicated wine research project is due. 
i hate not to be on the dean's list next semester over a wine-tasting course. half the class failed her last test & i got my 1st non-"A". i got a "D"!
she tries, & emphasizes the amount of time she spends putting information together for us, & i appreciate her. not so much at once, thosugh, teach!

-luvs


----------



## kadesma

luvs said:


> i'm ticked at one of my instructors. the class is so stressed. she is a great person, except she lays way too much work on us. we have a 7-page study guide! for a test tomorrow for wine-tasting class. now, 7 pages is too many. granted, she gave us 1.5 hours of classtime to work on it. that's not my complaint, though. she expects us to memorize those SEVEN pages of material!!!!!
> too much info & it's not teaching us, it's teaching us to cram info only to lose that info. i usually LOVE tests. not her's!! also, they soooooo stress communication to us in kitchens class. well, in my classes, i have a test tomorrow in each. they need to communicate between themselves 'bout test days!! plus, a very complicated wine research project is due.
> i hate not to be on the dean's list next semester over a wine-tasting course. half the class failed her last test & i got my 1st non-"A". i got a "D"!
> she tries, & emphasizes the amount of time she spends putting information together for us, & i appreciate her. not so much at once, thosugh, teach!
> 
> -luvs


luvs,
just study and do the best you can..I know you are very bright and can do this. Don't get upset it will only make the test drag and harder to deal with. Relax and go for it..I know you can. you can.
hugs,
kades


----------



## luvs

kadesma said:


> luvs,
> just study and do the best you can..I know you are very bright and can do this. Don't get upset it will only make the test drag and harder to deal with. Relax and go for it..I know you can. you can.
> hugs,
> kades


 
thanks, kades.
i've studied since 12:30..... letting myself take a few minutes to post & go outside.
ugh, i so wanna go to a dean, & i can't bring myself to. the instructor is too kind a lady, & she tries.


----------



## Cooksie

luvs said:


> i'm ticked at one of my instructors. the class is so stressed. she is a great person, except she lays way too much work on us. we have a 7-page study guide! for a test tomorrow for wine-tasting class. now, 7 pages is too many. granted, she gave us 1.5 hours of classtime to work on it. that's not my complaint, though. she expects us to memorize those SEVEN pages of material!!!!!
> too much info & it's not teaching us, it's teaching us to cram info only to lose that info. i usually LOVE tests. not her's!! also, they soooooo stress communication to us in kitchens class. well, in my classes, i have a test tomorrow in each. they need to communicate between themselves 'bout test days!! plus, a very complicated wine research project is due.
> i hate not to be on the dean's list next semester over a wine-tasting course. half the class failed her last test & i got my 1st non-"A". i got a "D"!
> she tries, & emphasizes the amount of time she spends putting information together for us, & i appreciate her. not so much at once, thosugh, teach!
> 
> -luvs


 
Good luck on your tests. Just go in there and show 'em what ya know about wine tasting......


----------



## babetoo

i am sick of the water being turned off in this mobile park. happening far to often. does no good to complain. not like we can go somewhere else. it is bad enough when they warn us, but not today. just gone for four hours. thanks for the vent.


----------



## luvs

Cooksie said:


> Good luck on your tests. Just go in there and show 'em what ya know about wine tasting......


 

i showed 'em! now let's see what my grade was! thanks, cooksie! your kitty is adorable! it made me grin. I love kitties soooo much! 

i also took a cost-control test, very easy, & a kitchens test, & that went well.


----------



## kadesma

luvs said:


> i showed 'em! now let's see what my grade was! thanks, cooksie! your kitty is adorable! it made me grin. I love kitties soooo much!
> 
> i also took a cost-control test, very easy, & a kitchens test, & that went well.


See, didn't I tell you you could do that test?  Way to go luvsBRAVA
kades


----------



## Wyogal

I have my purchasing test tomorrow, then my hospitality supervision next week. Got our Pastry take-home written test today, to do over the weekend. Will finish up with my CARES test in bar and beverage next week, then I'm OUTTA HERE!!!!!! Woo Hoo!


----------



## babetoo

good luck on all of it. you can do it


----------



## Dina

Woohoo Luvs! Way to go.Good luck Wyogal.  I would have loved to take up culinary school.


----------



## msmofet

babetoo said:


> i am sick of the water being turned off in this mobile park. happening far to often. does no good to complain. not like we can go somewhere else. it is bad enough when they warn us, but not today. just gone for four hours. thanks for the vent.


 our water dosen't go out much but mostly in the winter. and the water pressure stinks!!


----------



## luvs

awesome, wyogirl! i wasn't at school yesterday or today, so i only recieved 1 grade via e-mail. a 68%. ha-rumph.....


----------



## radhuni

Someone had fake my cell no and sending sms to many people, so had to block my SIM and informed to our local police station.


----------



## luvs

Dina said:


> Woohoo Luvs! Way to go.Good luck Wyogal. I would have loved to take up culinary school.


 

thanks dina!
you could still be a culinary student!


----------



## babetoo

same old problems with handyman. i never seem to learn, do i


----------



## LadyCook61

Long story short.... lost emails thru a system recovery . Hubby took my PC to a shop to fix problems with it and the guy did a recovery, never had a chance to back up my stuff(photos and paintings) and especially my important emails... I am so angry... and upset.  I am using my laptop at the moment.  I have my PC  back but I am too upset to even use it now .  I have to reinstall every thing I had on there and remove stuff I do not want.


----------



## babetoo

i am venting today about a back ache.  several days now, not sure what i did to it. it is one of those nagging thing just below right shoulder blade. i am not a nice sick person. i have to patience with not being able to do what i like. 

also thomas is bothering the devil out of me. won't shut up, i don't think he has a clue what he wants.............and neither do i....this is a good thread


----------



## kadesma

LadyCook61 said:


> Long story short.... lost emails thru a system recovery . Hubby took my PC to a shop to fix problems with it and the guy did a recovery, never had a chance to back up my stuff(photos and paintings) and especially my important emails... I am so angry... and upset.  I am using my laptop at the moment.  I have my PC  back but I am too upset to even use it now .  I have to reinstall every thing I had on there and remove stuff I do not want.


Oh nuts LC,
what a mess..I know how you feel. I get so upset with this thing I could just take a hammer to it..Good thoughts and hugs coming your way.
kades


----------



## msmofet

LadyCook61 said:


> Long story short.... lost emails thru a system recovery . Hubby took my PC to a shop to fix problems with it and the guy did a recovery, never had a chance to back up my stuff(photos and paintings) and especially my important emails... I am so angry... and upset. I am using my laptop at the moment. I have my PC back but I am too upset to even use it now . I have to reinstall every thing I had on there and remove stuff I do not want.


 


kadesma said:


> Oh nuts LC,
> what a mess..I know how you feel. I get so upset with this thing I could just take a hammer to it..Good thoughts and hugs coming your way.
> kades


so sorry ladies. i have been there. i have learned:
i never store email on my puter any more due to crashes and such. i have AOL (save to AOL NOT puter and you can read your email anywhere and it won't get lost, i have email saved on there for years) and a YAHOO (same thing). i have a folder on my desktop i call Backup Files, i put everything i want to keep safe in there. then i use an app called SyncToy and i sync (backup) this folder at least once a week to a second drive on my personal network. if you don't have a second hard drive try a external means like maybe a cd or dvd-RW disc or a flash drive. i have been using synctoy for many years now and i love it. in researching a link to post here i found a newer version (2.0 below) and i am going to download it now. it works on XP or Vista (i have both OS's 1 puter XP, 1 laptop XP, 1 laptop Vista and it works great). i hope this may solve some of the tears due to the "heartbreak of the crash". muahhhhhhhhh

Download SycToy here


----------



## kadesma

So far no real crash for me..I am just one of those people who hate to wait..This thing drives me round the bend at times..I leave it one at night and when I go to get one the screen is black and I wait and wait for it to go way!! By the time it does I want to take a hammer to it..
Other times i'm fine with it..just depends what type of day i've had

kades


----------



## msmofet

kadesma said:


> So far no real crash for me..I am just one of those people who hate to wait..This thing drives me round the bend at times..I leave it one at night and when I go to get one the screen is black and I wait and wait for it to go way!! By the time it does I want to take a hammer to it..
> Other times i'm fine with it..just depends what type of day i've had
> 
> kades


 ahaaaaaaaaa maybe if you do (1 of each) a disk cleanup, scan disk and defrag will solve that.


----------



## Cooksie

kadesma said:


> So far no real crash for me..I am just one of those people who hate to wait..This thing drives me round the bend at times..I leave it one at night and when I go to get one the screen is black and I wait and wait for it to go way!! By the time it does I want to take a hammer to it..
> Other times i'm fine with it..just depends what type of day i've had
> 
> kades


 
Your computer might be going into the hibernation mode.  Mine came from the factory set to hibernate after so many minutes of inactivity.  I re-set mine to "never hibernate," and that problem went away.  I hated it with a passion.


----------



## msmofet

Cooksie said:


> Your computer might be going into the hibernation mode. Mine came from the factory set to hibernate after so many minutes of inactivity. I re-set mine to "never hibernate," and that problem went away. I hated it with a passion.


 hmmmmmmmmmmmm that may be the problem. i don't have mine on hibernate and i get the black screen sometimes, usually the screensaver is messing up on mine (so i do maintenance and it is fixed). if you have a vista never delete the hibernation files when you do a disk cleanup. when i first got my vista i would dump those files and it caused me problems.


----------



## LadyCook61

I do  back up files but hubby took the pc before I could  back it up.  I don't use AOL and I do have external drives and do back up to that as well as to dvd.


----------



## msmofet

LadyCook61 said:


> I do back up files but hubby took the pc before I could back it up. I don't use AOL and I do have external drives and do back up to that as well as to dvd.


 backup - very cool!!


----------



## MexicoKaren

I use carbonitedotcom to backup my hard drive. It costs about $50 a year, but after the initial backup, it backs up everything automatically throughout the day. I lost my hard drive a few months ago and got EVERYTHING back, including more that 12,000 photos. I was SO happy.


----------



## JoAnn L.

Please, if you know someone who has had a child die, don't say to them "I couldn't live if my child died". I know it is hard to know the right thing to say, but, don't say that. My son died in January and I have had two people say this to me. How do they think this makes me feel. Do they think I can bear it? Please, just say, I am so sorry. I am not mad at these people but I was at a lost for words.


----------



## kadesma

JoAnn L. said:


> Please, if you know someone who has had a child die, don't say to them "I couldn't live if my child died". I know it is hard to know the right thing to say, but, don't say that. My son died in January and I have had two people say this to me. How do they think this makes me feel. Do they think I can bear it? Please, just say, I am so sorry. I am not mad at these people but I was at a lost for words.


People all react to something like this sometimes in ways that shock and offend us. Death is hard to accept so we say the first thing that pop's into our minds. I've learned to  just look into the persons eyes and if I know them well I put my arms around them and hold them. I say I'm sorry and just hold their hand.I know it hurts you deeply when this is said, i would just quietly walk away. If asked why, I would say in a low voice, that I felt the statement was foolish and hurtful. To you I say, I'm so sorry, may peace come to you one day and sorrow be a thing of the past, but sweet memories forever be in your heart and mind.
cj


----------



## CasperImproved

JoAnn L. said:


> Please, if you know someone who has had a child die, don't say to them "I couldn't live if my child died". I know it is hard to know the right thing to say, but, don't say that. My son died in January and I have had two people say this to me. How do they think this makes me feel. Do they think I can bear it? Please, just say, I am so sorry. I am not mad at these people but I was at a lost for words.




I am sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how raw your feelings are at this point. That type of loss is deep, and everyone must go through the grieving process in their own way and manner.

I also agree it isn't the thoughtlessness that prompted these people to say that. Who knows what to say at a time like now to you?

All I can do is empathize with you, and hope your support chain (family & friends)  is helping you to cope with the feelings you must be experiencing.

I wish you all the best in your time of need.

Bob


----------



## MexicoKaren

JoAnn, I have never lost a child, but my lovely daughter made a serious suicide attempt a little over a year ago. I lived in panic for months, wondering if she would find the will to stay with us. I cannot imagine your pain and I can only say that I am so sorry for your loss. People do say unimaginably stupid things with the best of intentions, without thinking. I hope your wounded heart finds peace.


----------



## JoAnn L.

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts and words. It means alot to me.


----------



## Katie H

I'm so sorry for your loss, JoAnn.  There is no way I can understand because I haven't "been there."

However, after Buck's death, I was amazed at how unthinking people could be.  I could hardly believe some of the things they said to me.  Some wanted to know if I'd removed my wedding ring yet or if I'd gotten rid of his clothes.  What?!!

Just try to stand strong and let those awful comments slide into the abyss where they belong.

You can always come here for support.  THAT I know!!


----------



## LadyCook61

Reinstalling software is annoying especially when I have to reactivate it again and it won't reactivate because it is on a new computer so I have to contact the software maker to help.  I know they do this activation to protect their work from piracy and I respect that.


----------



## babetoo

when reading the sunday paper, i thought why all the ads for a market here. i counted them, got 69 copies of the same ad.      69, somewhere a tree is falling. i did call the paper and was told a machine puts the ad inserts in paper. they are sorry 

took five phone calls this am to talk without a human being. the up shot was they will look into it.


----------



## msmofet

i went to the doctor today. i have strep throat. while i was there he asked for a urine sample. i was told i have blood in my urine and need an ultra sound, the won't tell me what it could be!! this makes me even more upset.


----------



## kadesma

msmofet said:


> i went to the doctor today. i have strep throat. while i was there he asked for a urine sample. i was told i have blood in my urine and need an ultra sound, the won't tell me what it could be!! this makes me even more upset.


Lucky for them they were dealing with you and not me. I've learned with the kidney failure to ask and I do NOT take no for an answer. I'm not well liked I suppose, but I've learned that waiting three weeks to see if I had cancer was not going to happen again. If need be I park in the office and stare em down. I always get some answer now..Try not to get to angry, but march into that office and bring someone with you for support and back up.Good luck I won't say don't worry, how can you not, but may your wait be short and the outcome just a tempest in a tea pot.
kades


----------



## msmofet

kadesma said:


> Lucky for them they were dealing with you and not me. I've learned with the kidney failure to ask and I do NOT take no for an answer. I'm not well liked I suppose, but I've learned that waiting three weeks to see if I had cancer was not going to happen again. If need be I park in the office and stare em down. I always get some answer now..Try not to get to angry, but march into that office and bring someone with you for support and back up.Good luck I won't say don't worry, how can you not, but may your wait be short and the outcome just a tempest in a tea pot.
> kades


 thank you. my pulse and bp were also higher than normal BUT i did lose 40 lbs.


----------



## katybar22

Hi, I don't know if you have heard from your doc or not, but I wanted to let you know my experience w/ blood in urine and kidney ultrasounds.  I have had so many kidney stones in my life and so much treatment for them that I have forgotten how many now.  If you have strep throat, there may be a related infection in your urinary tract.  Stones can harbor infection and cause blood in the urine.  I know from experience that it is possible to have a stone and/or infection without having severe symtoms, at least in the beginning.  I am assuming that your doc is also doing a culture to check for infection.  

If you have the ultrasound and the radiologist says things look ok, follow up with you doc about the culture and check again for blood.  If the blood is still there after your course of antibiotics, then you should ask to be referred ro a nephrologist.  They are specialist in the functions of the kidney. A urologist would be recommended if there is a stone or an infection that doesn't clear up with adequate antibiotic treatment.

Please try not to worry TOO much.  There are many reasons why you would have blood in the urine and many treatment options once the problems have been diagnosed.  Good luck and please let me know how things turn out.


----------



## msmofet

katybar22 said:


> Hi, I don't know if you have heard from your doc or not, but I wanted to let you know my experience w/ blood in urine and kidney ultrasounds. I have had so many kidney stones in my life and so much treatment for them that I have forgotten how many now. If you have strep throat, there may be a related infection in your urinary tract. Stones can harbor infection and cause blood in the urine. I know from experience that it is possible to have a stone and/or infection without having severe symtoms, at least in the beginning. I am assuming that your doc is also doing a culture to check for infection.
> 
> If you have the ultrasound and the radiologist says things look ok, follow up with you doc about the culture and check again for blood. If the blood is still there after your course of antibiotics, then you should ask to be referred ro a nephrologist. They are specialist in the functions of the kidney. A urologist would be recommended if there is a stone or an infection that doesn't clear up with adequate antibiotic treatment.
> 
> Please try not to worry TOO much. There are many reasons why you would have blood in the urine and many treatment options once the problems have been diagnosed. Good luck and please let me know how things turn out.


 thank you sweetie. i haven't heard anything yet about the ultra sound, they said 1 week. what caused me to call the doc in the first place was that i woke up in the middle of the night with servere pain from the front to the back. which made me vomit for 2 hours after which it subsided. thats when i called the doctor and made an appt., he gave me rx for antibotics and now i am waiting.


----------



## MexicoKaren

This is a good place to come with your worries, msmofet. You are getting some good advice, and I am also thinking of you and hoping for the best possible outcome.


----------



## msmofet

MexicoKaren said:


> This is a good place to come with your worries, msmofet. You are getting some good advice, and I am also thinking of you and hoping for the best possible outcome.


 thank you


----------



## katybar22

msmofet said:


> thank you sweetie. i haven't heard anything yet about the ultra sound, they said 1 week. what caused me to call the doc in the first place was that i woke up in the middle of the night with servere pain from the front to the back. which made me vomit for 2 hours after which it subsided. thats when i called the doctor and made an appt., he gave me rx for antibotics and now i am waiting.


 

OK, I'm not a doctor but that pain sounds like possibly kidney stones.  Is it still hurting you?  Gosh, I hope not, that's a LONG time to be in pain!!  Good luck hon, let me know, ok?


----------



## msmofet

katybar22 said:


> OK, I'm not a doctor but that pain sounds like possibly kidney stones. Is it still hurting you? Gosh, I hope not, that's a LONG time to be in pain!! Good luck hon, let me know, ok?


thank you sweetie. i haven't had any more pains before or since like that but i have had some bad stomach aches for a few months that i thought was ingestion/heartburn or gas.


----------



## babetoo

my toilet is stopped up. been plunging the **** thing for two days. i have another bathroom. this stopped up one , is the one i use most ofter. it flooded the bathroom so now have a bunch of wet towels. 

if i don't get it unstuck today will have to call son. maybe he can plunge better than i can.


----------



## CasperImproved

babetoo said:


> my toilet is stopped up. been plunging the **** thing for two days. i have another bathroom. this stopped up one , is the one i use most ofter. it flooded the bathroom so now have a bunch of wet towels.
> 
> if i don't get it unstuck today will have to call son. maybe he can plunge better than i can.




Babetoo -

When plungers fail, you usually can get things unplugged with a "snake". It's a long coil of steel cable that you run through the offending drain and can usually unplug it as it will push through  the clog it if it's long enough.

Goog Luck,

Bob


----------



## mudbug

*stupid clients*

It's late Sunday afternoon and I am waiting on email for files to be edited for a proposal that is due at noon tomorrow.  I probably won't get the last - and longest - file until after dinner some time.

The client announced this proposal on Tuesday - I got asked to get involved on Thursday - and there was a client/contractor meeting _yesterday _to clarify what they wanted this Monday.  Mad scrambling by all involved - and now instead of cooling out in Sunday night in advance of another work week I will likely be up late tonight reading more marketing BS that really can't be fixed by 6 a.m. tomorrow.

Whoever invented proposals should be shot.


----------



## kadesma

I'm so angry..Each month we go to the dialysis center to chek different things and talk with our doctor..Last night DH gets on the net again and looks up a med I take by injection every 2 weeks. It's used to keep my hemoglobin up..But, it is very dangerous if given when hemoglobin is over a certain point which mine has been the last 3 times we've gone..Guess what? They gave me the injections anyway..I could have had a heart attach of a stroke... Plus I got to looking at my chart, they are not charting my meds right, have left out many things needed to correctly diagnos my dialysis amounts right. I've been lucky so far..And this is going to stop..DH, jumped the doc and he is changing things for me, plus I now am taking a journal with me and charting for myself..This way we have a reference to check into..But I just cannot get past the anger and rage at them dimissing me and treating me like a lab rat..Like I don't count and if something happens there will be another person for them to expierment on..I know get over it already, but I've got to do some heavy thinking..I refuse to start over again with another center..It would be the same old thing with a billion question I'm sick of answering..So this center is gonna get a work up. Thanks for letting me vent, it helps clear my head and eases the anger.
kadesma


----------



## MexicoKaren

And the US is supposed to have "the best health care in the world?" How does this happen? Why aren't people more careful, if only to avoid a malpractice suit if not to maintain their own professionalism and compassion? I am stymied, but I know that your experience is not unique. I am so sorry that you have to tolerate this, and so glad that you are equal to the task of taking care of yourself.


----------



## luvs

get 'em, kades!


----------



## kadesma

MexicoKaren said:


> And the US is supposed to have "the best health care in the world?" How does this happen? Why aren't people more careful, if only to avoid a malpractice suit if not to maintain their own professionalism and compassion? I am stymied, but I know that your experience is not unique. I am so sorry that you have to tolerate this, and so glad that you are equal to the task of taking care of yourself.


Karen,
I've had to live through losing my brother in law, my mom, my dad..the parade of doctors through my mom's room made me dizzy and each one of them told me she had something different!!! Then thanks to a know it all nurse who refused to listen, mom gave up when they made jello out of her beloved coffee...What to do..I couldn't do a thing they were right I was crazy...sooo now I'm without parents.
MY DH cannot understand why i don't trust any of them...need I say more? So even tho people think he is a saint for putting up with a grump..I'll be that grump someone has to look out for ME!!
kadesma


----------



## kadesma

luvs said:


> get 'em, kades!


I plan to luvs and thanks for caring.
kades


----------



## katybar22

I am so cranky today.  Just ticked off.  I generally do not let what people say online bug me and I can just dismiss it as something said by someone who doesn't know me or what I have been (and *am going*) thru.  But today I guess I couldn't keep that attitude.  So I spouted off at someone here, and now I'm mad at them for their attitude towards something I said and myself for not just letting it go.  I see myself apologizing in my future.  But...I'm not ready yet.  That ticks me off too.  Thanks.


----------



## kadesma

katybar22 said:


> I am so cranky today.  Just ticked off.  I generally do not let what people say online bug me and I can just dismiss it as something said by someone who doesn't know me or what I have been (and *am going*) thru.  But today I guess I couldn't keep that attitude.  So I spouted off at someone here, and now I'm mad at them for their attitude towards something I said and myself for not just letting it go.  I see myself apologizing in my future.  But...I'm not ready yet.  That ticks me off too.  Thanks.


Katy,we all come to that place sometimes. I know I have...But I've learned, to not let one unthoughtful remark put me in overdrive. Life is beautiful and we don't need grief. When someone is rude to me I usually walk away after giving  what my kids call Ma's look..here that is rather hard to do..But if you can let if go that makes you a better person and builds strength...There is always a PM asking them to please not speak to you that way or hit ignore and then find something you love look at it and smile, I know look in the closest mirror and let the beautiful face found there smile back at you..Be the kind lovin person your family knows and loves that will win karma points for you every time.
kadesma


----------



## katybar22

*Well...*

I just apologized and boy, do I feel better.  I went back and read the posts that upset me so much, and I think I was just in a bad place.  Not an excuse, but a reason, anyway.  I knew I would feel better once I got a little distance, and I do.  Thanks so much to everyone for all your support.  I'm back in my "_happy place_".

Katy


----------



## kadesma

Great Katy,
I can see that big smile...Stay happy
kades


----------



## Chef Munky

Sorry you had a not so good morning Katy..I know what you mean though.Just keep plugging along with the rest of us.  maybe the other person wasn't having a good day either.So I tell myself at times here.

Got to admit though I did check to see if I had ANY pm's..Now I'm going to vent that I didn't even get so much as a token spam...LOL!!!!!

Munky.


----------



## luvs

Chef Munky said:


> Got to admit though I did check to see if I had ANY pm's..Now I'm going to vent that I didn't even get so much as a token spam...LOL!!!!!


 
i ought to clean my message box, haven't recieved a PM or sent one in ages! it's too stuffed.


----------



## kadesma

luvs said:


> i ought to clean my message box, haven't recieved a PM or sent one in ages! it's too stuffed.


ok Girl, start dumping the junk
kades


----------



## luvs

sounds like a plan, kades! i get soooo lazy after school!


----------



## LadyCook61

I had to reinstall Windows XP on my laptop, had lost the desktop icons and taskbar.


----------



## Dove

*First my computer died  (grandson said it is fried..)
then my washer leaked all over the floor
then the ice maker in my fridge went berserk 
the Dr changed my depression meds last month and made things worse.
But I have my precious little Dove and my very mischievous little Buddy.(Yorkie)..he is always in trouble but all I can do is laugh and give him a big hug. *


----------



## texasgirl

Well, Marge, all I can say is today is another day, lol. I hope everything gets better! Big hugs to you!!


----------



## kadesma

Hi Marge,
it's so good to see you . I've been wondering where you were. Take good care and come see us often, we miss you.
kadesma


----------



## JoAnn L.

Welcome back Marge, it's so good to hear from you again.


----------



## babetoo

while visiting my friend in the hospital, this occurred. the nurse and her daughter were in the room. they were discussing my friend. she might just have well be invisible. they should at least acknowledge her presence. just because we are older does not mean we are stupid and must be treated like a child. it is so dismissive of my friend. she hears , she understands and she needs to addressed as the knowing adult that she is. old age does not mean stupid.


----------



## texasgirl

Babe, you are 100% right!! They both needed to address anything going on WITH her and not over her!! That makes me so angry!!


----------



## kadesma

This is not so much a vent as a cry of pain. At Christmas my daughter got Ethan and Olivia a mini schnauzer..His name is sieban or z-bun..Today daughter in a hurry to get to a class for helping her students forgot to put the garage doors down..Our little z-bun has been missing al day, They live by a very busy street and none of the neighbors have seen him..He is so darling and loving..He has a special bark for my daughter he adores her and now he has begun sharing that bark when he sees me..Oh boy, I can't stop crying, I'm so sick to my tummy,,Please say a quick pray for our little boy..Ethan and Olivia are broken hearted and can't stop crying..What do we do now? I said when I lost my Maggie, no more, no more and here I am in love with a little grey schnauzer that is as soft as cashmere,,Oh boy I hurt.
kades


----------



## texasgirl

oh no, cj. Maybe someone saw him and picked him up and will put up signs that he is found. I am praying for his safe return!!!!


----------



## babetoo

oh dear, i know that feeling. maybe he will find his way home. if someone picked him up and took to pound, you can get him back. if they decided to keep him, at least he is safe. my son had one of these little dogs. he used to run away with their beagle. he always came home, and my son would have to bail the beagle out of jail. i am so sorry, it is such a helpless feeling.


----------



## Katie H

Oh, cj, my heart goes out to you.  I will say extra-special doggie prayers tonight.


----------



## kadesma

Thanks all of you..it helps so much to know other care as i do..I love you all
cj


----------



## MexicoKaren

Oh CJ, I hope you have good news by now. It is so easy to fall in love with these furry children. They give so much and ask for so little. I am so sorry for your pain and your family's as well.


----------



## JoAnn L.

I sure hope little z-bun is returned home soon. My heart goes out to all of you.


----------



## kadesma

MexicoKaren said:


> Oh CJ, I hope you have good news by now. It is so easy to fall in love with these furry children. They give so much and ask for so little. I am so sorry for your pain and your family's as well.


Thank you Karen,
we put an add in the newspaper so I'm hoping someone has our little guy..He is only 7 months and know only us..Poor baby. My grand kids are not taking this well at all...Poor Ethan can't keep any food down he is so upset. I hope tomorrow bring good news.
kades


----------



## kadesma

JoAnn L. said:


> I sure hope little z-bun is returned home soon. My heart goes out to all of you.


Thank you, all the love I've felt here today, helps so much..Thank you for caring JoAnn, it means so much to me.
kades


----------



## In the Kitchen

I am sure sorry.  Seems we just have too much on our mind and can't remember to do what we have to.  I am sorry.  I don't know what I would do or how I would be if this happened to me.  I just thank God everyday that I have these little guys.  I have said many times they are a gift to me.  Would you please post when you do find him?  I read things and often hope all will be happy again and maybe next week I just have not read anything.  I will say a prayer that he finds his home again.  I bet your daughter feels terrible the way you do.  I am praying and hoping they will have him safe at home.  Please let me know.  

Thanks


----------



## kadesma

In the Kitchen said:


> I am sure sorry.  Seems we just have too much on our mind and can't remember to do what we have to.  I am sorry.  I don't know what I would do or how I would be if this happened to me.  I just thank God everyday that I have these little guys.  I have said many times they are a gift to me.  Would you please post when you do find him?  I read things and often hope all will be happy again and maybe next week I just have not read anything.  I will say a prayer that he finds his home again.  I bet your daughter feels terrible the way you do.  I am praying and hoping they will have him safe at home.  Please let me know.
> 
> Thanks


I will let you know IITK and thank you for caring.. This just makes me sick..
kades


----------



## In the Kitchen

A pet is considered a 'family member' to me.  As you stated 'you are sick', believe me I am hurting too.  sounded like a jewel to me.  Did she have any kind of identification on her, collar or chip?

Guess I won't rest until someone finds out what happened to her?  So sorry.


----------



## Alix

Oh my gosh. I have missed this bit til now. I'm so sorry kadesma! Sending you positive thoughts and willing that sweet puppy to return home. Take care.


----------



## kadesma

In the Kitchen said:


> A pet is considered a 'family member' to me.  As you stated 'you are sick', believe me I am hurting too.  sounded like a jewel to me.  Did she have any kind of identification on her, collar or chip?
> 
> Guess I won't rest until someone finds out what happened to her?  So sorry.


Please don't be sorry for caring. We haven't heard a thing..We figure someone has the pooch and is either going to hang on to him or is waiting for a newspaper add. We placed the add, put up flyers and now it's just wait.I appreciate you asking and caring about z-bun, he was and is a sweet loving little guy and I who swore not to let any pup get to me after losing my Maggie has got me by the heart strings.So don't be sorry for caring
kades


----------



## kadesma

Alix said:


> Oh my gosh. I have missed this bit til now. I'm so sorry kadesma! Sending you positive thoughts and willing that sweet puppy to return home. Take care.


Thanks Alix,
it's just wait and see now..I am worried about little Ethan, he has been crying himself to sleep and if you can imagine any child refusing ice cream!! He is eating very little so another worry added to the pooch.Oh boy
kades


----------



## LEFSElover

kadesma said:


> This is not so much a vent as a cry of pain. At Christmas my daughter got Ethan and Olivia a mini schnauzer..His name is sieban or z-bun..Today daughter in a hurry to get to a class for helping her students forgot to put the garage doors down..Our little z-bun has been missing al day, They live by a very busy street and none of the neighbors have seen him..He is so darling and loving..He has a special bark for my daughter he adores her and now he has begun sharing that bark when he sees me..Oh boy, I can't stop crying, I'm so sick to my tummy,,Please say a quick pray for our little boy..Ethan and Olivia are broken hearted and can't stop crying..What do we do now? I said when I lost my Maggie, no more, no more and here I am in love with a little grey schnauzer that is as soft as cashmere,,Oh boy I hurt.
> kades


my heart breaks for you Kadesma....because I love you........
the prayer I prayed is Father, please take care of this family, please take care of the little puppy as only You know what the end result is and this family is so tender now and sad.  Be there for them all please Lord and Your will be done...Amen


----------



## Alix

kadesma said:


> Thanks Alix,
> it's just wait and see now..I am worried about little Ethan, he has been crying himself to sleep and if you can imagine any child refusing ice cream!! He is eating very little so another worry added to the pooch.Oh boy
> kades


Poor guy, his little heart is just broken. I hope you get some answers soon and Ethan can settle a bit. Hug!


----------



## kadesma

To all of you who gave,prayers,loving thoughts to us in our unhappiness over z-bun..Smile it worked, SOMEONE listened. My daughter just called and is now on her way to pick up our pooch. Funny think a close by neighbor has had him and just now called to tell her. Needless to say the tears now are of joy..I don't know what the outcome would have been without all of you. I never ever want to find out. You are all so special. A big big thank you for caring.
cj


----------



## Katie H

Oh, cj, I'm crying tears of joy!!!  I just knew in my heart he would come back those who love him.


----------



## kadesma

Katie E said:


> Oh, cj, I'm crying tears of joy!!!  I just knew in my heart he would come back those who love him.


Katie,
I was just going to call you..I'm so happy for myself and for little Ethan that little boy is a jewel..He has been so unhappy..His dad just left here and will be telling him in a few minutes. Katie, thanks for all you love and support..
You were right...Thank you
cj


----------



## MexicoKaren

What great news! You've made everyone's day brighter by sharing it with us. Thanks, CJ.


----------



## LadyCook61

kadesma said:


> To all of you who gave,prayers,loving thoughts to us in our unhappiness over z-bun..Smile it worked, SOMEONE listened. My daughter just called and is now on her way to pick up our pooch. Funny think a close by neighbor has had him and just now called to tell her. Needless to say the tears now are of joy..I don't know what the outcome would have been without all of you. I never ever want to find out. You are all so special. A big big thank you for caring.
> cj


 
I just now saw this post... I am so happy and relieved for you.  I sure understand when a beloved furbaby is missing... 
hugs,
 LC


----------



## JoAnn L.

It is so nice to hear good news for a change. I am so happy for all of you. Give Ethan a big hug for all of us here at DC.


----------



## texasgirl

OMG!!! CJ!!!! That's AWESOME!!!!


----------



## In the Kitchen

THERE IS A GOD AND HE ANSWERED WITH BRINGING THAT LITTLE LIFE HOME! Thanks be to God for His grace and love to your little guy and your precious little ones.  I can imagine the puppy's heart is probably jumping out of his chest.  This just gives me a humble feeling of God caring for this puppy.  He brought him home.  As I said, he is part of your family.  Tell your daughter I am happy for her and her family.

I have so much personal things going wrong right now that I HAD to hear this good news.  So grateful I took time to check and see if there was news.  Oh gosh, give him special hug for me.  Never seen him but love him anyway.  May he always be safe and have lots and lots of love.

Thanks for sharing so quickly, it was fast wasn't it?


----------



## babetoo

yeah, i am so glad. bet they will see to it, the puppy never gets out again.


----------



## katybar22

I just have to say I'm *so sick of being sick*!!  I just had surgery last week, my diet sucks (bland/liquid/soft).  My blood pressure has totally tanked so I am on limited pain meds.  And I keep losing weight no matter what I do.  I trust my docs and know they know what's going on, but it's just hard to not be able to do even little things without getting tired and having to sleep.  I took a bath this afternoon and ended up sleeping for an hour and a half.  I just wish I could wake up in the morning and shower and be ready to go, not ready to go back to bed.  I'm discouraged.


----------



## luvs

i'm so sorry for you! that sucks!


----------



## licia

Katy, sorry your health hasn't been good lately but maybe that will get better soon.  
I came here to vent and seeing your post made me feel ashamed of myself. What I was going to say is this:  I go for ages and don't hurt myself at all then twice in one day on each hand I've had an accident. Cutting up the veggies for dinner I cut my ring finger to the nail from the side then when I was reaching for something in the pantry i knocked a can off the shelf and it hit on my right hand between my thumb forefinger and wrist.  Now my right arm hurts all the way to my elbow and when I pick up something with my left hand I feel where my finger is cut.  I know! I'm a wuss! but it makes me so mad to do such stupid things and all in the same day.  Glad dh took care of cleanup after dinner...or I may have been calling 911.


----------



## katybar22

*licia*

I know exactly how you feel.  The first time I hurt myself in the kitchen I make a *loud* *announcement* about my pain to whoever is in ears reach (usually the cats and dogs).  But if it happens again, I just get pissed.  I'm sorry, I know how that feels.  At least you finished the meal!!  I've been known to just walk away, lol.  Hope you get a very relaxing evening!


----------



## Alix

Ooooo licia! OWIE!!! I have been there. For me its either a "burny" day or a "cutty" day. If I'm injuring myself it seems to be one or the other, thankfully not both at once. 

katybar, crap! I know what you mean about being sick of being sick! Can you bump up your fluid to help with the BP situation? I sure hope you turn a corner ASAP and feel better soon.


----------



## msmofet

katybar22 said:


> I just have to say I'm *so sick of being sick*!! I just had surgery last week, my diet sucks (bland/liquid/soft). My blood pressure has totally tanked so I am on limited pain meds. And I keep losing weight no matter what I do. I trust my docs and know they know what's going on, but it's just hard to not be able to do even little things without getting tired and having to sleep. I took a bath this afternoon and ended up sleeping for an hour and a half. I just wish I could wake up in the morning and shower and be ready to go, not ready to go back to bed. I'm discouraged.


 sending you a great big hug!! muahhhhhhh you're in my thoughts sweetie. 

oh if you happen to hear any of my secrets while in there don't share them ok?


----------



## katybar22

msmofet said:


> sending you a great big hug!! muahhhhhhh you're in my thoughts sweetie.
> 
> oh if you happen to hear any of my secrets while in there don't share them ok?


 

Thanks hun, and don't worry, your secrets are safe 

Ya know I think this venting forum actually works.  And it's so much cheaper than therapy.


----------



## msmofet

licia said:


> Katy, sorry your health hasn't been good lately but maybe that will get better soon.
> I came here to vent and seeing your post made me feel ashamed of myself. What I was going to say is this: I go for ages and don't hurt myself at all then twice in one day on each hand I've had an accident. Cutting up the veggies for dinner I cut my ring finger to the nail from the side then when I was reaching for something in the pantry i knocked a can off the shelf and it hit on my right hand between my thumb forefinger and wrist. Now my right arm hurts all the way to my elbow and when I pick up something with my left hand I feel where my finger is cut. I know! I'm a wuss! but it makes me so mad to do such stupid things and all in the same day. Glad dh took care of cleanup after dinner...or I may have been calling 911.


 yewhie!! on thanksgiving 2 years ago i had company and made a lovely dinner. when it came time to carve the turkey i was removing the whole breast to carve, i made the first cut and then stuck my fingers in to pull it back and cut to remove from frame. all of a sudden i felt like i got stung so i pulled my hand out and saw i had cut my middle finger at the first knuckle almost to the bone. black blood came out. i calmly said thats a bad one. i wrapped it and heldit up put pressure on my wrist and in about 5 minutes it stopped bleeding enough to wash and wrap in gause. i wasn't worried about infection because it cleaned itself out. then i proceeded to inspect turkey no blood so i carved and we finished a wonderful dinner with fam and friends. i was in pain and embarresed. 

so i know how a cut like yours can sting like a dickens. just be sure not to reopen it while doing chores till it knits closed.

sorry this turned into a time delayed vent!!


----------



## kadesma

katybar22 said:


> I just have to say I'm *so sick of being sick*!!  I just had surgery last week, my diet sucks (bland/liquid/soft).  My blood pressure has totally tanked so I am on limited pain meds.  And I keep losing weight no matter what I do.  I trust my docs and know they know what's going on, but it's just hard to not be able to do even little things without getting tired and having to sleep.  I took a bath this afternoon and ended up sleeping for an hour and a half.  I just wish I could wake up in the morning and shower and be ready to go, not ready to go back to bed.  I'm discouraged.


Katy,
I know just how you feel..It's taken me since 2006 to get back to where I was when my kidney's failed..At first I wanted to sleep all the time and you know what I did, each day things changed..Let your body sleep, eat your bland diet and just let yourself recouperate..Don't rush anything, you could just end up with replase.One morning you will wake up ,shower and have a wonderful day on the go..Don't rush, just enjoy that you are on the mend..I find now I can watch my grand kids again, I'm having a blast painting them t-shirts and cooking our Sunday dinners again...It will happen..I promise..JUst rest and let nature take over.
kades


----------



## msmofet

katybar22 said:


> Thanks hun, and don't worry, your secrets are safe
> 
> Ya know I think this venting forum actually works. And it's so much cheaper than therapy.


 not really this will cost you FOOD!! ummmmmmmmmmmmm well ummmmmmmmm nothing chopped ok?


----------



## babetoo

babetoo said:


> yeah, i am so glad. bet they will see to it, the puppy never gets out again.


 

just re-read my post. did not mean to sound as though it were someones fault. sorry. 

things like this do cause us to be more alert. 

so glad was found.


----------



## kadesma

babetoo said:


> just re-read my post. did not mean to sound as though it were someones fault. sorry.
> 
> things like this do cause us to be more alert.
> 
> so glad was found.


Things like this are a combination of mistakes and ooops...Little Ethan really thought it was his fault. We have finally convinced him we all had a hand in it..Now he isn't so unhappy. The pup is as crazy as ever and loves us al..Things are being closely watched and there are smiles all round.So sin't feel as if you said anything wrong..You just echoed what many of us felt.
kades


----------



## In the Kitchen

*Flushed*

Did anyone read about the puppy being flushed down the toilet?  It is supposedly on You Tube.  The little boy wanted to give his puppy a bath and flushed him down the toilet.  No, they managed to get him out!  Can you believe it!  Little Cocker Spaniel, what a little bundle.  What kids won't think of to do!  I just can't believe they got him back.  Good story for once.  Beside the one on here.  I apologize if I get too involved w/dogs.  Just cannot help it.


----------



## babetoo

this might be a rant and not venting. all the medical stuff and no one has the answers . i need to know how to raise blood sugar. mine has tested very low most of day. did the juice thing, had some dinner. all that is offered is glucose . they work quickly but don't stay around for very long. guess i will try some ice cream. the low blood reading, makes me vague, dizzy, sleepy . i can't water the plants, afraid i will fall. it truely truly sucks
s


----------



## MexicoKaren

Oh babe, hope you are feeling better by now!


----------



## kadesma

babetoo said:


> this might be a rant and not venting. all the medical stuff and no one has the answers . i need to know how to raise blood sugar. mine has tested very low most of day. did the juice thing, had some dinner. all that is offered is glucose . they work quickly but don't stay around for very long. guess i will try some ice cream. the low blood reading, makes me vague, dizzy, sleepy . i can't water the plants, afraid i will fall. it truely truly sucks
> s


babe,
if you blood glucose is staying that low, you might need to have you meds lowered...Make an appointment to have blood work done, see what you hba1c is then go from there.
kades


----------



## CasperImproved

Babe - Have you tried hard candy?

Just a thought.

Bob


----------



## Chile Chef

Oh I could fill up about 10 pages full of vents, I wouldn't even know where to start!


----------



## babetoo

so far so good. was good test this am. cut back on insulin. maybe it is time for a insulin pump. course an omelet at midnight helps.


----------



## Chile Chef

babetoo said:


> so far so good. was good test this am. cut back on insulin. maybe it is time for a insulin pump. course an omelet at midnight helps.


I don't understand your post, Can you clarify for me?


----------



## babetoo

you bet. i am diabetic. my blood sugars go up and down. neither is good. but low is really tough. can lead to passing out . last few days, it has been really low, and i am having some problems getting it  up and keep it staying up.last night i injected 25 units of insulin when i had been injecting 30. trying to space out mini bites through out the day. clear, if not let me know.


----------



## Chile Chef

babetoo said:


> you bet. i am diabetic. my blood sugars go up and down. neither is good. but low is really tough. can lead to passing out . last few days, it has been really low, and i am having some problems getting it  up and keep it staying up.last night i injected 25 units of insulin when i had been injecting 30. trying to space out mini bites through out the day. clear, if not let me know.


Sorry to hear about that Babe, I hope you get to feel better soon.



Can you eat a candy bar or 2 to get your sugers up?


----------



## kadesma

babetoo said:


> so far so good. was good test this am. cut back on insulin. maybe it is time for a insulin pump. course an omelet at midnight helps.


babe, that sounds like what you need to do..Lows are nasty and scary..Do you still feel them when they start?  I would how ever talk to the doctor about lowerin the insulin..I take 11 units at night and that works fine..I am going to discuss going back on oral meds now and see what happens. But, I am happy that you got those glucose numbers up. I find things like rice or potatoes or a part of a soda do the trick if I'm out of glucose tabs...
kades


----------



## babetoo

so far i have kept it up. all day. yes i can feel it as i am sure u can as well. not a good feeling. i get confused and very weak. sometimes i break into a sweat. have waked up drenched , and menopause is long gone. i take oral meds as well as long term insulin. have quick insulin for big spikes. ..had a hot fudge sundae and that sure helped. felt better today. got a few chores dong.


----------



## Maidrite

If we are not here after Monday, Its is because we have lost our internet/phone line. We owe $125 and we just don't have it. please pray for us, I am going to try and sell some things tomorrow in order to pay for that and get us some food, pray hard for us. 
 
Love and Hugs, 
James


----------



## msmofet

*ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG POISON IVY!!*

*SHOT IN THE KEISTER, ITCH, PILLS, CREAM, FACE, ARMS, OTHER PLACES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO CLUE HOW I GOT IT!!*





*QUIT SMOKING 16 DAYS AGO!!!!!!!!!*


----------



## JoAnn L.

One time we were in our boat and my sister-in-law had to go to the potty. We pulled up along shore and she went way up in the bushes to go. Guess what? Poison Ivy, you know where. Oh, how she suffered.


----------



## msmofet

JoAnn L. said:


> One time we were in our boat and my sister-in-law had to go to the potty. We pulled up along shore and she went way up in the bushes to go. Guess what? Poison Ivy, you know where. Oh, how she suffered.


 oyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! i know i know!!


----------



## CasperImproved

msmofet said:


> oyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! i know i know!!




I'm with you sweetie. Anything going on in places I don't share with mom, I want nothing going on *there*.

Bob

I feel that way, and will take an oath here.


----------



## msmofet

CasperImproved said:


> I'm with you sweetie. Anything going on in places I don't share with mom, I want nothing going on *there*.
> 
> Bob
> 
> I feel that way, and will take an oath here.


 whizzing is a whole new adventure!!


----------



## musiclovesryan

Keep em away from me!


----------



## CasperImproved

msmofet said:


> whizzing is a whole new adventure!!



You are a bad, bad girl...


Well not really, but I like how "bad, bad" work together 

But I do think of mischievous things when your name comes up 

Bob


----------



## CasperImproved

I should also mention, that I promised Katie I will share what's going on here on DC while she is computer limited, so if you wanted to share a sentiment, do so. I will read it verbatim.

Bob


----------



## radhuni

I am feeling very depressed, nothing going right. Everything jumbled in my head I cannot think clearly. I really need some good news to boost my mood.


----------



## MexicoKaren

Ah radhuni, I am sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time. Please know that you are a valuable member of our family here, and that although you may be many miles away, you are close to our hearts.


----------



## kadesma

radhuni said:


> I am feeling very depressed, nothing going right. Everything jumbled in my head I cannot think clearly. I really need some good news to boost my mood.


I'm sorry you are feeling depressed. Know you are cared for and we all value you as a friend here at DC. Come anytime and talk with us. Let us hold your hand. Hugs to you, feel better, you are special.
kadesma


----------



## radhuni

Thank you Karen and Kadesma for your support. I always feel that all of us in DC is just like a giant family. 

I catch cold badly. I can't speak, I am talking in sign language. 

A depression was formed over Bay of Bengal so we have rains and we haven't seen sun for a week may that is a cause of depression.


----------



## kadesma

radhuni,
I find in the winter months when it is fogy and rainy for days on end with no sun, I tend to turn on more lights..This does help, but I find I long for sunny weather.I also spend a lot of time here at DC in the winter...It is so nice to have lovely people to chat with.
kadesma


----------



## radhuni

My water purifier is not working I have to fetch drinking water from my neighbour's flat, I phoned to the company for servicing, they told that they will come tomorrow but I am not sure


----------



## CasperImproved

radhuni - Sometimes when it rains , it pours (not making a pun here), and stuff happens that seems karma is not in our corner. But life always rights itself eventually, and things get better.

Cheer up,

Bob


----------



## msmofet

i'm pissed because i went to mcdonald's today and made the mistake of ordering what they call an angus third burger it's more like an angus turd burger!!


----------



## CasperImproved

uh.. msmofet - Might I suggest you stop by the "second" one then?

Bob


----------



## msmofet

CasperImproved said:


> uh.. msmofet - Might I suggest you stop by the "second" one then?
> 
> Bob


i think i need to go hide in a cave for a week till the black cloud passes over me!! i thought being as the poison ivy isn't catchy any more i would have a soak in the pool and hot tub. well the first thing i did was almost drown myself because i sat on the edge of the pool and gently eased into 9 FEET of water with my mouth open thinking it was the shallow end (yes i wear glasses and no i am not blonde!! LOL). ok then i decide i better go sit in the hot tub and the steps were slippery YUP slid down four steps and under the HOT water!! now two of my little tootsies on my bad (already swollen) foot look like huge cocktail weiners and they are black and deep purple in color!!


----------



## CasperImproved

msmofet said:


> i think i need to go hide in a cave for a week till the black cloud passes over me!! i thought being as the poison ivy isn't catchy any more i would have a soak in the pool and hot tub. well the first thing i did was almost drown myself because i sat on the edge of the pool and gently eased into 9 FEET of water with my mouth open thinking it was the shallow end (yes i wear glasses and no i am not blonde!! LOL). ok then i decide i better go sit in the hot tub and the steps were slippery YUP slid down four steps and under the HOT water!! now two of my little tootsies on my bad (already swollen) foot look like huge cocktail weiners and they are black and deep purple in color!!



I'm sorry for you sweetie. If I could, I'd be your room service/ice cream man but I'd  put you better than a cave.

But I do think you've already had your three rounds with bad luck, so the rest of the week-end should be fabulous. 

Bob


----------



## msmofet

CasperImproved said:


> I'm sorry for you sweetie. If I could, I'd be your room service/ice cream man but I'd put you better than a cave.
> 
> But I do think you've already had your three rounds with bad luck, so the rest of the week-end should be fabulous.
> 
> Bob


 thank you babes!!


----------



## radhuni

CasperImproved said:


> radhuni - Sometimes when it rains , it pours (not making a pun here), and stuff happens that seems karma is not in our corner. But life always rights itself eventually, and things get better.
> 
> Cheer up,
> 
> Bob



Thanks.


----------



## kadesma

radhuni said:


> Thanks.


Hi radhuni,
hope things are getting better for you.. You are in my good thoughts.
kadesma


----------



## msmofet

good day everyone


it is 8AM and a beautiful 61F and i am afraid what the day holds for me. LOL i gotta peek and see if that **** black cloud is hanging around.

my tootsies are now a lovely shade of rasberry. i am almost hoping a bird craps on my head or i step in poop!! they say it's good luck BUT i'm thinking not for my shoes or hair, but hey i am willing to try ALMOST anything once (twice if it feels good!! shhhhhhhhh)

hmmmmmmmmmmm just my luck i'll slide in the poop and break something i really don't want to. or crack my butt in the other direction. which will make it hard to slide down poles without making a strange sound like pffffffffbttttttttttttt!!


----------



## Alix

What did you do to your feet msmofet?

nevermind...I found out. OUCH!


----------



## texasgirl

Just love having my heart toyed with. That is always SO much fun!!!!!! I am really starting to hate people!!


----------



## MexicoKaren

So far, so good for us this weekend, and I am so sorry to hear of everyone's troubles. Radhuni. I hope your water purifier is repaired. We depend on purified water here, as well. Especially this time of year, we drink ALOT of water, and I know it is warm and humid where you are as well.  Msmofet, I trust your poor toes are getting better, and Stacy, NO ONE should be toying with your trusting and generous heart!!!


----------



## kadesma

texasgirl said:


> Just love having my heart toyed with. That is always SO much fun!!!!!! I am really starting to hate people!!


Stacy,
what's going on? You ok? Now you have me really worried.
cj


----------



## texasgirl

I'm fine cj. Don't worry. Just another of lifes lessons. Things aren't always what they seem.


----------



## kadesma

texasgirl said:


> I'm fine cj. Don't worry. Just another of lifes lessons. Things aren't always what they seem.


I know Stacy..As long as you are ok that's all that matters to me..Life can kick our fannies, but we pick ourselves up and go on.. take care
cj


----------



## msmofet

Alix said:


> What did you do to your feet msmofet?
> 
> nevermind...I found out. OUCH!


 this is my damaged foot






here are the poor little smushed tooties (after 3 days) i worry about getting a pedi while my foot is swollen (don't want to take chances with infection)


----------



## CasperImproved

Sorry to see those little piggies... and I'm glad they are not mine right now ;-)

BOb


----------



## msmofet

CasperImproved said:


> Sorry to see those little piggies... and I'm glad they are not mine right now ;-)
> 
> BOb


 thank you sweetie. that scar is 11 years old on my foot. (it took 2 years to heal completely from 3rd degree burns (they wanted to take it and i said NO!! period. i debreeded (sp) it myself)). my foot and toes were already swollen from driving and lousy road food. i took a nice skid into the hot tub and banged my swollen toes pretty good. i always worry about infection due to bad circulation from the severity of the damage to my foot.


----------



## texasgirl

why do I have to freaking feel guilty after the pain I have endured??????? OMG!! LIFE SUCKS!!


----------



## texasgirl

Never mind, he just made it easier!!!


----------



## Alix

Atta girl Stacy!


----------



## texasgirl

My oldest is locked up for 4 months!!


----------



## Alix

Oh dear. Owie heart. I'm sorry Stacy.


----------



## texasgirl

yeah, well, he will either learn from it or not. I hope he learns!!


----------



## Alix

Home for Christmas at least. And some folks have to learn EVERYTHING the hard way.


----------



## kadesma

texasgirl said:


> yeah, well, he will either learn from it or not. I hope he learns!!


Let's hope so Stacy, maybe this is the kick in the fanny he needed.Some kids you can talk to til your blue in the face and they just think it won't happen to me!!!Well then learn the hard way is all that is left. I hope this does the trick Stacy, you've bailed them both out to darn many times.
kades


----------



## Wyogal

When my son was in jail (weekend thing, speeding ticket, 120 mph), he came out saying that the old guys in his cell liked his grandpa's corny jokes... and learned how to play gin rummy... grrrrrrrr............


----------



## msmofet

texasgirl said:


> My oldest is locked up for 4 months!!


 tg sorry about your son. what did i miss? how did it go from 35 days to 4 months?


----------



## texasgirl

We were told that it was $100 a day to pay off bond, but, they were wrong. that was for THEIR time. This county goes by severity of the charge and how much they pay out on it. I'm just really surprised that it's so long for a first time offense, but, he's fine with it. He won't have probation or fines when he gets out. The lawyer told him this and said that the plea was his best bet, so he did and THEN received the sentence!! He didn't realize how long either, but, it's longer than what it would have been to keep him from probation when he gets out.


----------



## Wyogal

So, awhile ago, this last winter/spring, I talked with some folks at our local art museum about an idea incorporating cuisine and culture, how I'd love to teach some classes combining the two. Well, today I read in the paper that they are offering classes on the very same topic. As though it was something they thought of themselves. it's very disappointing because I thought these people respected me and took me seriously. I have volunteered there for years, not so much lately as I was away at cooking school out of town. But jeez.... I am soooooo tired of not being good enough or rich enough or cool enough for these pretentious people. and it hurts deeply. I thought they were friends.


----------



## CasperImproved

Wyogal said:


> So, awhile ago, this last winter/spring, I talked with some folks at our local art museum about an idea incorporating cuisine and culture, how I'd love to teach some classes combining the two. Well, today I read in the paper that they are offering classes on the very same topic. As though it was something they thought of themselves. it's very disappointing because I thought these people respected me and took me seriously. I have volunteered there for years, not so much lately as I was away at cooking school out of town. But jeez.... I am soooooo tired of not being good enough or rich enough or cool enough for these pretentious people. and it hurts deeply. I thought they were friends.




Sweetie - You need not say anything to prove your worth to us. I don't even live near you, and yet I'd happily give you a big hug if I could. If your local towns folk don't appreciate you, it's only because they are silly folks that need to be beat upon the head and shoulders until they can think common sense 

Money, nor position proves worth as much as just having a big heart, and you have that.

Bob


----------



## Wyogal

Thank-you!


----------



## kadesma

Wyogal said:


> So, awhile ago, this last winter/spring, I talked with some folks at our local art museum about an idea incorporating cuisine and culture, how I'd love to teach some classes combining the two. Well, today I read in the paper that they are offering classes on the very same topic. As though it was something they thought of themselves. it's very disappointing because I thought these people respected me and took me seriously. I have volunteered there for years, not so much lately as I was away at cooking school out of town. But jeez.... I am soooooo tired of not being good enough or rich enough or cool enough for these pretentious people. and it hurts deeply. I thought they were friends.


 Don't let fools,get you thinking you're not good enough. You are and you are head and shoulders above them.I find them dishonest and cheap and  by no means friends. I do think I'd quietly let them know how dishonest I think they are and I wouldn't let them say a word, no arguments, yelling or screaming, just a quiet low voice. Then I'd turn on my heels and walk out and let them babble their explanations..Nor would I do anything to help out..I'd go about my business and find a way to help others learn from you on your time, in your way...You will find a way.
kadesma


----------



## Chile Chef

Hey Texasgirl, sorry to hear about your son ma'am!

Wyogal, Your not alone ma'am, I'm in the same boat, but my problem is the ladies. 


I'm a gentleman, I got it all pretty much but a vehicle, and I don't cheat but yet it feels like I am very broken and undatable!


----------



## kadesma

Chile Chef said:


> Hey Texasgirl, sorry to hear about your son ma'am!
> 
> Wyogal, Your not alone ma'am, I'm in the same boat, but my problem is the ladies.
> 
> 
> I'm a gentleman, I got it all pretty much but a vehicle, and I don't cheat but yet it feels like I am very broken and undatable!


 Hang in there CC, young woman, really have'nt any idea what they want...one day one of them will grow up and you will be at the top of the list. Just keep on being YOU. A car dones not a gentleman make!!!
kadesma


----------



## Wyogal

Not only did they steal my idea, but the first food topic they've chosen to discuss is fruitcake. I've been giving the director and others there at the museum my special mini fruitcakes for the last couple of years. Fruitcake which they LOVE and have declared the best they've ever had....


----------



## CasperImproved

WG - The fact that you are above them, means you'd have to look down your nose at them. But don't give them that satisfaction. Chin up, and  continue to be you.

The best revenge is living well.

They'll be jealous, and won't know what to say about it. ;-)

Bob


----------



## LadyCook61

Minor vent.. My old microwave bit the dust. Hubby brought upstairs from the cellar, the small microwave was  from his brother's house . This small unit reeks of mold!! He tried cleaning it with bleach last night. I tried this morning to clean it with vinegar and lemon juice. Would you believe hubby still uses the smelly thing? Every time he reheats his coffee in it , it blows moldy smell in the kitchen.  I refuse to use the unit.  He refuses to buy another one.  The smell of it gives me a headache.


----------



## CasperImproved

LadyCook61 said:


> Minor vent.. My old microwave bit the dust. Hubby brought upstairs from the cellar, the small microwave was  from his brother's house . This small unit reeks of mold!! He tried cleaning it with bleach last night. I tried this morning to clean it with vinegar and lemon juice. Would you believe hubby still uses the smelly thing? Every time he reheats his coffee in it , it blows moldy smell in the kitchen.  I refuse to use the unit.  He refuses to buy another one.  The smell of it gives me a headache.




LadyCook - Have you thought about just putting it out in the garage? I think that would make your point 

Bob


----------



## Wyogal

Maybe it ought to "accidentally" fall off the counter while you are "cleaning" behind it.
If it's giving you a headache, it's making you sick. Mold is nothing to sneeze at...


----------



## msmofet

LadyCook61 said:


> Minor vent.. My old microwave bit the dust. Hubby brought upstairs from the cellar, the small microwave was from his brother's house . This small unit reeks of mold!! He tried cleaning it with bleach last night. I tried this morning to clean it with vinegar and lemon juice. Would you believe hubby still uses the smelly thing? Every time he reheats his coffee in it , it blows moldy smell in the kitchen. I refuse to use the unit. He refuses to buy another one. The smell of it gives me a headache.


 what if it commits assisted suicide?


----------



## LadyCook61

CasperImproved said:


> LadyCook - Have you thought about just putting it out in the garage? I think that would make your point
> 
> Bob


 
I put it outside on the porch. At this time , he does not know yet.   What's funny , now one of my cats is ocuppying the space the micro was sitting in.


----------



## Chile Chef

kadesma said:


> Hang in there CC, young woman, really have'nt any idea what they want...one day one of them will grow up and you will be at the top of the list. Just keep on being YOU. A car dones not a gentleman make!!!
> kadesma


True, but the car will get to say Oh hello didn't notice you there.


See what I'm saying?


----------



## kadesma

Chile Chef said:


> True, but the car will get to say Oh hello didn't notice you there.
> 
> 
> See what I'm saying?


Yes, I see, just remember, treat as you want to be treated...
kades


----------



## CasperImproved

LadyCook61 said:


> I put it outside on the porch. At this time , he does not know yet.   What's funny , now one of my cats is ocuppying the space the micro was sitting in.



Take a picture of the Kittie, than put it on top of the microwave 

Bob


----------



## Chile Chef

kadesma said:


> Yes, I see, just remember, treat as you want to be treated...
> kades


Even then it takes a lot more then that to get a lady now a day's, Either you have to have money, things, or both to get a woman to look your way! Or an impressive skill that she could possible like. 

I'm just saying I've tried everything and all I got was weird woman as girlfriends, or vulpiuos type girlfriends. For once I would love to get a lady I wanted to get you know? And don't worry I will obay the rules of the forum here and keep it G rated.


----------



## CasperImproved

CC- Don't despair. The minute you do not have acquisition on the brain, that will be when the right "lady" will show up in your life.

Just a live and learn moment from my own past. Just know you have to keep earning when you have won. (should this be in the quote thread?).

Anywho, just have patience. Someone, somewhere said "If I sit here long enough, everything will eventually pass by".  I can't really place my finger on the specific quote, but that does echo the sentiment.

Bob


----------



## Chile Chef

CasperImproved said:


> CC- Don't despair. The minute you do not have acquisition on the brain, that will be when the right "lady" will show up in your life.
> 
> Just a live and learn moment from my own past. Just know you have to keep earning when you have won. (should this be in the quote thread?).
> 
> Anywho, just have patience. Someone, somewhere said "If I sit here long enough, everything will eventually pass by".  I can't really place my finger on the specific quote, but that does echo the sentiment.
> 
> Bob


Thanks Bob, And your right I've heard that quote too. 

Any ways I'm almost 40 and I'm not married, I don't have a house, car, kids, 


I want a house, Car, Kid, dog, fence and so on. 


That's why I'm working my arse off in college and no time for fun. 


We can say arse right?


----------



## katybar22

Chile Chef said:


> Even then it takes a lot more then that to get a lady now a day's, Either you have to have money, things, or both to get a woman to look your way! Or an impressive skill that she could possible like.
> 
> I'm just saying I've tried everything and all I got was weird woman as girlfriends, or vulpiuos type girlfriends. For once I would love to get a lady I wanted to get you know? And don't worry I will obay the rules of the forum here and keep it G rated.


 

I just want to tell you my experience. When I was in the dating/looking world, I wanted exactly what you are saying (except, of course, a gentleman). I was getting SO frustrated by dating my share of jerks or not dating at all. So I decided I would just quit looking and focus on myself. I decided I had to treat myself w/respect before I could expect that from anyone else. I also decided that any man that came into my life could be my friend. And that's it. I wasn't looking for Mr. Right anymore. I learned to enjoy my life and my own company. Then and 6 months later I met a really cute guy who played keyboards in a band at bars in Dallas on the weekends. He became a dear friend and now, 22 years later we've been married for 20 years and he's still my best friend. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I quit looking and the miracle came to me. Try to enjoy your life the way it is and other people will see that joy, regardless of what you have or don't have, and be attracted to it. Take it from someone who's been there. Don't despair, where there is life there is hope. Big Hugs!!

Katy


----------



## Chile Chef

katybar22 said:


> I just want to tell you my experience. When I was in the dating/looking world, I wanted exactly what you are saying (except, of course, a gentleman). I was getting SO frustrated by dating my share of jerks or not dating at all. So I decided I would just quit looking and focus on myself. I decided I had to treat myself w/respect before I could expect that from anyone else. I also decided that any man that came into my life could be my friend. And that's it. I wasn't looking for Mr. Right anymore. I learned to enjoy my life and my own company. Then and 6 months later I met a really cute guy who played keyboards in a band at bars in Dallas on the weekends. He became a dear friend and now, 22 years later we've been married for 20 years and he's still my best friend. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I quit looking and the miracle came to me. Try to enjoy your life the way it is and other people will see that joy, regardless of what you have or don't have, and be attracted to it. Take it from someone who's been there. Don't despair, where there is life there is hope. Big Hugs!!
> 
> Katy


I'm exactly like you right now, I'm learning to enjoy life although no one ever taught me the finer points of living alone, I've lived with girl friends, friends to get me this far, and it's really easy to take care of an apartment, I just set some time aside to clean up when I see it getting dirty, then I do my home work so on. 


I guess I will try it your way Katy, Thanks for the help and Advice everyone.


----------



## CasperImproved

katybar22 said:


> I just want to tell you my experience. When I was in the dating/looking world, I wanted exactly what you are saying (except, of course, a gentleman).
> Katy




Did I mention that you are *EXACTLY* what I am looking for several more times in my life 

Sorry, I needed to go there.

Bob


----------



## katybar22

CasperImproved said:


> Did I mention that you are *EXACTLY* what I am looking for several more times in my life
> 
> Sorry, I needed to go there.
> 
> Bob


 
Sweet Bob, but I can't train another one!!


----------



## CasperImproved

Katy - I'm already house broken.

Bob


----------



## Chef Munky

No is no...!
Why is it when you don't answer the door bell,the nosy neighbor goes home and calls you? 
Most people have the courtesy to call first,then come over.If it's not an inconvenience to you.
I get real tired of people especially her,that thinks that because they exist the world stops for them.

Munky.


----------



## msmofet

CasperImproved said:


> Did I mention that you are *EXACTLY* what I am looking for several more times in my life
> 
> Sorry, I needed to go there.
> 
> Bob


 hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


----------



## LadyCook61

The saga of the microwave continued... hubby decided we need a new one after all, he didn't like having to go outside to use the smelly microwave and got tired of reheating his coffee in a pan. So maybe we'll get one today , he researched microwaves on the net , found out it is not expensive as he thought. If he thinks we'll get a cheapo little one, he has another think coming. I want a decent sized one with plenty of power and room.


----------



## msmofet

LadyCook61 said:


> The saga of the microwave continued... hubby decided we need a new one after all, he didn't like having to go outside to use the smelly microwave and got tired of reheating his coffee in a pan. So maybe we'll get one today , he researched microwaves on the net , found out it is not expensive as he thought. If he thinks we'll get a cheapo little one, he has another think coming. I want a decent sized one with plenty of power and room.


 i replaced my old microwave last year with a large 1600 watt for $100 including tax and extended warrenty. (i got my old 750 watt microwave in 1985!!).


----------



## LadyCook61

msmofet said:


> i replaced my old microwave last year with a large 1600 watt for $100 including tax and extended warrenty. (i got my old 750 watt microwave in 1985!!).


 
my old one that quit , is 20 yrs. old .  It is a big unit , used every day, mostly for hubby's reheating coffee and making oatmeal. I have used it for real cooking as well .    What brand is your new one ?


----------



## msmofet

LadyCook61 said:


> my old one that quit , is 20 yrs. old . It is a big unit , used every day, mostly for hubby's reheating coffee and making oatmeal. I have used it for real cooking as well .  What brand is your new one ?


 my old one was large also and this one is just as large but more watts. the new one is a kenmore.


----------



## Chile Chef

LadyCook61 said:


> The saga of the microwave continued... hubby decided we need a new one after all, he didn't like having to go outside to use the smelly microwave and got tired of reheating his coffee in a pan. So maybe we'll get one today , he researched microwaves on the net , found out it is not expensive as he thought. If he thinks we'll get a cheapo little one, he has another think coming. I want a decent sized one with plenty of power and room.


Hiya LadyCook, Please don't get a little cheap microwave, I have a little cheap microwave for my apartment and it sucks worse then a Dyson vacuum. 

Only thing you can do in it is to melt ice cream, warm up water and that's about it.


----------



## msmofet

LadyCook61 said:


> my old one that quit , is 20 yrs. old . It is a big unit , used every day, mostly for hubby's reheating coffee and making oatmeal. I have used it for real cooking as well .  What brand is your new one ?


 
i hope this helps:


----------



## LadyCook61

msmofet said:


> i hope this helps:


 
I didn't see your pictures before we went shopping at Sears. We went there because they were having a sale.  As you can see from my picture, we got a Kenmore too .    I like my black microwave because all my appliances are black.  Sale price was $139.99 , not bad actually for a 2.0 cubic ft and 1200 watt.  I like it because my 13x9 inch dish can fit in it.


----------



## LPBeier

Congrats Ladycook 1) for getting your microwave and 2) for standing your ground!


----------



## Chile Chef

LadyCook61 said:


> I didn't see your pictures before we went shopping at Sears. We went there because they were having a sale.  As you can see from my picture, we got a Kenmore too .    I like my black microwave because all my appliances are black.  Sale price was $139.99 , not bad actually for a 2.0 cubic ft and 1200 watt.  I like it because my 13x9 inch dish can fit in it.


Congratulations! Lady Cook, I'm glad you purchased a nice microwave and not a piece of junk one like I have.


----------



## msmofet

LadyCook61 said:


> I didn't see your pictures before we went shopping at Sears. We went there because they were having a sale. As you can see from my picture, we got a Kenmore too .  I like my black microwave because all my appliances are black. Sale price was $139.99 , not bad actually for a 2.0 cubic ft and 1200 watt. I like it because my 13x9 inch dish can fit in it.


 congrats!!


----------



## babetoo

my micro is about ten years old. forgot who made it and to lazy to go and look. it has a convection setting as well. nine by thirteen fits great. most of my dishes are the white corning. cook , reheat freeze and serve in same pan. 

i don't know what people without them do. pretty much everything i have ever asked of it . it has done. couldn't cook without it.


----------



## LPBeier

My Microwave is very very old and I think we are the third "owners" as it has been handed down through our church.  It replaced one that was almost identical, just a little older, LOL!

We could replace it.  But I don't use if for much other than the very rare defrost when I forget to take things out on time to defrost in the fridge and an occasional reheat.


----------



## Wyogal

I use mine to soften butter


----------



## luvs

i asked my Mom to return thr microwave she got me a few ago. we cook frozwn stuff just fine.


----------



## SierraCook

My mom has been in the hospital for almost a week.  I wish they would release her.   She had her gallbladder out on Thursday.  Hopefully, she will get out of there tomorrow.


----------



## LPBeier

SierraCook said:


> My mom has been in the hospital for almost a week.  I wish they would release her.   She had her gallbladder out on Thursday.  Hopefully, she will get out of there tomorrow.



I am so sorry to hear that.  I send my thoughts and prayers for her health and release.


----------



## kadesma

SierraCook said:


> My mom has been in the hospital for almost a week.  I wish they would release her.   She had her gallbladder out on Thursday.  Hopefully, she will get out of there tomorrow.


SC, prayers on the way for your mom..Keep in touch..It's so good to see you
kades


----------



## msmofet

SierraCook said:


> My mom has been in the hospital for almost a week.  I wish they would release her. She had her gallbladder out on Thursday. Hopefully, she will get out of there tomorrow.


 
You are in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## CasperImproved

SC - I'm sad for you. But at the same time, I'm glad for you. She will be coming home and allow you a lot more time to appreciate her.

I haven't looked into any dietary needs for someone with gall bladder, but I would do a little research (ask the nurses and doctors), but I would be happy I could cook lots more for her. 

I lost my mom when she was pretty young, so I promote giving mom everything when possible 

Bob


----------



## Barbara L

SierraCook said:


> My mom has been in the hospital for almost a week.  I wish they would release her.   She had her gallbladder out on Thursday.  Hopefully, she will get out of there tomorrow.


Your mom can count on my prayers as well.  I had my gallbladder out in February.  

As far as dietary restrictions, which was brought up, my doctor said that I could eat pretty much the same things afterward that I did before.  What he didn't mention (but my daughter, who had hers out 11 years ago did) is that when you eat certain foods (different for everyone), you need to be very near a bathroom.  That's all I will say about that!  Otherwise, it is all good--no more horrible bouts of pain every few months like I was having.

Barbara


----------



## MexicoKaren

I guess I am one of the lucky ones - while I had to restrict my diet very carefully prior to the surgery, once my gallbladder was gone, I could eat anything. It does seem to me, SC, that your mom is in the hospital longer than usual for gallbladder surgery. Hope there are no complications and she is home today feeling better.


----------



## Wyogal

O.K., pity party of one...
My husband is out backpacking, gone for 14-16 days. Inaccessible. I just about go nuts when he is gone. I can't talk to him, sometimes, if they climb a mountain, they will call from the summit. 
Here's the deal. I went to a bridal shower (for a daughter of a friend, don't know the bride at all, went anyway cuz I'm lonely). Other girlfriends were there, a bible study group that I started over a year ago. When I was away at cooking school, they pretty much forgot about me. I'm back in town, and things seem normal. So I mention that I get sooo lonely when husband is away like this. I would have thought that maybe someone would call, have me over, go out together, something. nada. zilch. 2nd gripe: my sister-in-law is in the same situation, our husbands are brothers and they went together. Well, she could hardly wait until they were gone! Said she wanted to come for a visit and spend time together. I was looking forward to it. In the meantime, I'm reading on her facebook about all the partying she's doing. I asked today if she was coming. Nope. too much partying to do. Would it be too much for her to at least invite me to HER town and join in the fun? We just hosted them here a week or so before the guys left. She knows I'm terribly lonely. I would like to go somewhere, but can't really afford to go far, and I have our dog... who loves her dog and has been with us at their house before.
oh well. I just don't want to hear about all her fun while I sit here.  Yes, I could go out and make my own fun... but, I really thought we were going to get together while the guys were away. She's only been talking about it all summer. It's like she's hitting her mid-life crisis or something. It's not like we are in our 20's. I'm 50, she's in her mid-40's!!


----------



## Chef Munky

Wyogal said:


> O.K., pity party of one...
> My husband is out backpacking, gone for 14-16 days. Inaccessible. I just about go nuts when he is gone. I can't talk to him, sometimes, if they climb a mountain, they will call from the summit.
> Here's the deal. I went to a bridal shower (for a daughter of a friend, don't know the bride at all, went anyway cuz I'm lonely). Other girlfriends were there, a bible study group that I started over a year ago. When I was away at cooking school, they pretty much forgot about me. I'm back in town, and things seem normal. So I mention that I get sooo lonely when husband is away like this. I would have thought that maybe someone would call, have me over, go out together, something. nada. zilch. 2nd gripe: my sister-in-law is in the same situation, our husbands are brothers and they went together. Well, she could hardly wait until they were gone! Said she wanted to come for a visit and spend time together. I was looking forward to it. In the meantime, I'm reading on her facebook about all the partying she's doing. I asked today if she was coming. Nope. too much partying to do. Would it be too much for her to at least invite me to HER town and join in the fun? We just hosted them here a week or so before the guys left. She knows I'm terribly lonely. I would like to go somewhere, but can't really afford to go far, and I have our dog... who loves her dog and has been with us at their house before.
> oh well. I just don't want to hear about all her fun while I sit here.  Yes, I could go out and make my own fun... but, I really thought we were going to get together while the guys were away. She's only been talking about it all summer. It's like she's hitting her mid-life crisis or something. It's not like we are in our 20's. I'm 50, she's in her mid-40's!!



Wow! Nice friends you have!   Friends like that who needs enemies?
Caddy things anyways.That was extremely rude of them.But you know what goes around comes around.Don't let them know it bothered you.
It looks to me that they are jealous of you and what you've accomplished.

Sister in law.. whoa!  be glad you weren't involved in any of that.Let her have the midlife crisis.It's going to be on her,not you.
Think her hubby will be happy to hear what went on while he was away? Mine certainly wouldn't be.

Last but not least.DC is open 24/7.Cheer up 

Munky.


----------



## Wyogal

"Last but not least.DC is open 24/7.Cheer up "
Thanks!! Yep, I'm on it almost that much!! That and TMZ! hahaha, but can only take so much of Michael J. "news!"
Yeah, I don't know how long their marriage will last, he's not any better. I'm glad something went "right" with my husband! His sister is even more whacked.... her husband believes he's reincarnated from the aliens that landed at Roswell. no sh*t. We haven't spoken to them since he wrote a letter calling our son a murderer (USNavy), said my husband was "sucking off the gov't teat" because he is a teacher (and a darn good one at that!), and the  other brother (the one with the party wife) is "raping and pillaging the land" because he works for a natural gas company. yet the alien can't play music unless his instruments and multitude of computers are plugged in.
yep, friends aren't much help. Except for my bestest, and she's been out of town, will be for another week!!!!!!!!!
breathing deep now.


----------



## CasperImproved

Kathy - Sorry you were left out there just hanging by all. Your husband should and likely will share his warm thoughts with you at first opportunity. If not? Bop him a good one when he does get home (don't bottle up the feelings). 

I'm sad friends and SIL are not in your mental place in life. Feel sorry for the lot of them. 

Personally? I'll be 49 this November, and my cradle robbing wife will be 51 next Feb.

I would be so tickled at her being so upset with my absence, I'd be mister woeful after I got back,  but I'd also have something cooked up especially nice for the next shared life event. That is how I would react. 

I know... that's just me, but the thought is honest.

Sending you a hug in sympathy, and hoping you find something happy to spend the rest of the time doing... ever go do a full "spa" thing? <evil grin>.

You should try that.. it's pampering you don't feel the need to reciprocate on  That could put you in a happy place.

Bob


----------



## Chef Munky

TMZ!!!!  LOL!!! uhhh me to 

Munky.


----------



## babetoo

hay you, i have much the same thing in my life. family members were always saying " we will do this or that" and it never happened. once i figured out that was never going to , i have been much better off. it makes me sad that they so recklessly mess with my life. my daughter in law "five min away" that i have known most of her life. only comes over when she wants something. pants hemmed etc. she was in charge of telling me the day and time of my gransons baby shower . did not call me til two hours before. i am sure she forgot, but no apology was offered. consider it their bad manners and not that there is something wrong with you. it is there loss.


----------



## Wyogal

Thanks! I just got home from a dinner with some new friends. Great time. And yes, my husband is going to have a great shower, meal, and "warm thoughts" when he gets back. After spending that much time with his bro, he's quite glad to return to our life.
Thanks again for your kind thoughts!


----------



## Wyogal

Cooking school vent: here's the turd frosting on a sh*t cake:
I just found out that our CARES tests that we took in our Bar and Bev. class were NEVER submitted for certification.
I've emailed the instructor, dean of students, as well as placed a phone call to the dean with this information. I was wondering about the results, so contacted the American Hotel and Lodging Ed Inst. directly and they told me that they have received NOTHING from that college or instructor.


----------



## luvs

wow, some school that is!


----------



## Wyogal

yeah, pretty lame. and I paid for this?????


----------



## luvs

migrate here & attend school with me! luv school! not waking at 4:30, though. 
i'd send them a letter next. your dough went into that. is it a certification?


----------



## Wyogal

I spoke with the director at American Hotel and Lodging Educational Institute, my bases are covered.
I"m also being quite honest about my experience to those that ask... everyone asks. Our state is quite small, and word gets around.
I would have loved to go to a "real" school, but $$$$$ is an issue. I'm beyond grants as I already have a masters in another field.


----------



## luvs

a masters can get you many places, wyo! & i'm glad you're bases were covered!


----------



## Wyogal

Thanks! I'm going back to performing music, teaching privately. I have a masters in music.


----------



## luvs

oh, my! not me, i'm great at playing 'silent night' & that's it!  that's great!


----------



## Wyogal

I got an apology from the art museum!! (see earlier vent about cuisine and culture idea, fruitcake)


----------



## luvs

who you callin a fruitcake?!


----------



## LadyCook61

hubby reheated his hamburger in the microwave at the reheat pizza setting, and is perplexed why the hamburger  got *cooked* well... duh !!  pizza is a lot bigger than a small burger. I told him don't blame the microwave.


----------



## LadyCook61

*rant* at PBS fund raising. They have this fund raising about 3 weeks long! I wouldn't mind except they don't have my favorite shows on during those 3 weeks. PBS is the only station I watch , I can't stand other stations with their yucky shows. So I guess I will have to go to the library and get some books and DVDs.  My library has 7 movies for 7 days deal.  If I can find decent 7 movies that would be a miracle.  I won't watch PG and other bad rated stuff so there is not much options there, also the movie has to be closed captioned for me since I am hearing impaired.


----------



## Wyogal

O.K., so I'm a bit emotional...
My husband, son, bro-in-law and nephew are out on a huge backpacking trip. The nephew is injured, feet covered in bloody blisters and something wrong with his achilles. They are exiting to the nearest trailhead/campground. When this happened, they were 15 miles away from an exit. They figured it would take them 4 days to get out because of the complications due to this injury. My sis-in-law are in different towns, but will meet at a turn-off on the highway, then continue in a two-car caravan to the site. We don't know the area, and I am quite nervous about the whole thing.
Heres the vent: I stopped by my church to ask for prayer from the pastor. He was too busy, couldn't even take one minute. He emailed me later, asked what I wanted on Sunday's prayer... I replied that that the guys needed prayers NOW, and gave him the details. He responded a day later (yesterday), mostly explaining that he was on his way to a meeting (justifying his busy-ness) and I could call him. NOT.
I also asked for prayers from gals that are in a bible study (that I started 2 years ago) that I attend. NO RESPONSE. One of them had expressed something on her facebook (about something she was going through), and I gave her support. I also sent a PM asking if she had seen my earlier prayer request, explained the situation. NO RESPONSE.
I'm so gullible and naive. Thinking these people cared. I really don't want to leave my church, for theological reasons, but sheesh....
Well, that's my rant. 
I'm cleaning house today, will take off early in the morning to go do the rescue.


----------



## Chile Chef

Wyogal said:


> Cooking school vent: here's the turd frosting on a sh*t cake:
> I just found out that our CARES tests that we took in our Bar and Bev. class were NEVER submitted for certification.
> I've emailed the instructor, dean of students, as well as placed a phone call to the dean with this information. I was wondering about the results, so contacted the American Hotel and Lodging Ed Inst. directly and they told me that they have received NOTHING from that college or instructor.


This is one of many reasons I quit church a long time ago, Main reason there is a few stories I couldn't swallow, Anyways I'm sorry for what your going through and I hope everything turns out for you!


The best of luck Wyogal.


----------



## roadfix

Hope your nephew pulls out of this fine Wyogal.  I can't imagine how agonizing this must be for him with no immediate help.


----------



## Chef Munky

LadyCook61 said:


> *rant* at PBS fund raising. They have this fund raising about 3 weeks long! I wouldn't mind except they don't have my favorite shows on during those 3 weeks. PBS is the only station I watch , I can't stand other stations with their yucky shows. So I guess I will have to go to the library and get some books and DVDs.  My library has 7 movies for 7 days deal.  If I can find decent 7 movies that would be a miracle.  I won't watch PG and other bad rated stuff so there is not much options there, also the movie has to be closed captioned for me since I am hearing impaired.



I don't watch much tv myself.It's gotten just a little too raunchy for my tastes. Kind of stupid to have satellite,and only watch only 4channels..But I have to pay for a package to get my TCM,Food Network,History Channel,and Discovery.

You might like TCM (Turner Classic Movies). TCM Turner Classic Movies
They show nothing but great movies as they were intended to be seen.Non stop,no commercial interruptions.
Robert Osbourne is the night time host.He's a fantastic Narrator.It's not showtime if you miss his introduction about the up coming movie.The little things you find out about 
But anyways TCM does have a monthly schedule.Find your movie,or request one.
Tonight's  showing: Wuthering Heights (Love those Bronte' Sisters)
Gone With The Wind.

You could start recording your favorites.Build your owm classic library.

Munky.


----------



## LadyCook61

Chef Munky said:


> I don't watch much tv myself.It's gotten just a little too raunchy for my tastes. Kind of stupid to have satellite,and only watch only 4channels..But I have to pay for a package to get my TCM,Food Network,History Channel,and Discovery.
> 
> You might like TCM (Turner Classic Movies). TCM Turner Classic Movies
> They show nothing but great movies as they were intended to be seen.Non stop,no commercial interruptions.
> Robert Osbourne is the night time host.He's a fantastic Narrator.It's not showtime if you miss his introduction about the up coming movie.The little things you find out about
> But anyways TCM does have a monthly schedule.Find your movie,or request one.
> Tonight's showing: Wuthering Heights (Love those Bronte' Sisters)
> Gone With The Wind.
> 
> You could start recording your favorites.Build your owm classic library.
> 
> Munky.


 

I would if I could, TCM is not part of the basic cable.


----------



## shirl2009

Crewsk,
Those scorpion stings do hurt, we used to have scorpions when we lived out in the country in Okla.  I would make a paste with baking soda and a little water and put it on the sting and it would quit hurting right away.  Also on fire ant stings you can use window cleaning spray and it quits stinging, sounds funny but does work.

You had a tough day, hang in there. So far so good for me.


----------



## CasperImproved

Kathy - Any updates on your Nephew and the backpacking trip?

Bob


----------



## Wyogal

Thanks. Yes, they got out, picked them up on Friday. The blisters are healing. He needs to figure out how to buy hiking boots that fit properly.
It was kind of weird. While I was sitting at the rest stop, waiting for my sis-in-law, the owner of a huge out of state Harley dealership was killed on that road. We thankfully missed the whole thing, but prayers go out to all involved.


----------



## JoZee

Alix said:


> OK, inspired by Brooksy's bad day yesterday I thought I would post this thread for folks to vent those petty things that make us nuts.
> 
> Mine is sewing related. My thread keeps breaking, my bobbin ran out and when I tried to refill it the stupid thing went flying somewhere across the room and the thread wound around the post instead. ARGH!  So, I am here for a few minutes to regain my composure and stop swearing at the machine.




Oh boy do I hear you about that.  I just brought my machine in for an over haul, the dang thread kept getting caught in the bobbin somehow and it was beginning to look like a spider web.  I was not a happy sewer.  I haven't used the machine since I got it fixed, I hope it works!


----------



## Alix

JoZee said:


> Oh boy do I hear you about that.  I just brought my machine in for an over haul, the dang thread kept getting caught in the bobbin somehow and it was beginning to look like a spider web.  I was not a happy sewer.  I haven't used the machine since I got it fixed, I hope it works!


Ooooooo. Good luck! I personally think my machine is possessed. I haul it out every so often and every single time I do I end up swearing at it like a sailor. Sigh. I have such a guttermouth.


----------



## JoZee

Alix said:


> Ooooooo. Good luck! I personally think my machine is possessed. I haul it out every so often and every single time I do I end up swearing at it like a sailor. Sigh. I have such a guttermouth.



I swear these machines could insight a riot!


----------



## babetoo

it really pays to have sewing machine  serviced every once in a while. especially as it get older. i have used the same sewing machine for twenty years. have it serviced about twice a year. even if nothing wrong, they clean out the parts we can't do. lint, thread , dust. you will learn to love it again.


----------



## JoZee

babetoo said:


> it really pays to have sewing machine  serviced every once in a while. especially as it get older. i have used the same sewing machine for twenty years. have it serviced about twice a year. even if nothing wrong, they clean out the parts we can't do. lint, thread , dust. you will learn to love it again.




That's good advice, I am going to do that too.  It seems even though I hadn't used the machine much since the last servicing it needed it again.  Dust is usually a problem here in the high desert.


----------



## Chile Chef

Is this a rant thread as well?

Anyways I am not venting but I am ranting, Why is it so hard to pick a college that your going to spend 4+ years at? I've choosen about 6 colleges and each time I've choose a college it's gets harder to pick where I want to live.


I know I want to live in the southern states where there is no snow during the winter and Once I move I'm done moving.


Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.


----------



## JoZee

Chile Chef said:


> Is this a rant thread as well?
> 
> Anyways I am not venting but I am ranting, Why is it so hard to pick a college that your going to spend 4+ years at? I've chosen about 6 colleges and each time I've choose a college it's gets harder to pick where I want to live.
> 
> 
> I know I want to live in the southern states where there is no snow during the winter and Once I move I'm done moving.
> 
> 
> Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.




I can understand that this sort of decision has to be one that you want to make sure you get it right the first time.  I have lived here going on 8 years now, so thought I'd share this with you.

You mentioned living in the southern states.  Do you mind the humidity?  I ask because I live in Albuquerque and we don't generally get any.  We do get a lot of dry heat during the summer.  This year it has been extreme.  We have had 2.6 inches of rain since January and sun every single day.  I heard the sun shines 325 days a year here, I think this year that was true.  The temperatures have been very hot, hotter then usual this summer, so if you like the heat you'll love this area. As of yet, we haven't had a monsoon season this summer.  There is generally no snow here, although we did get some in 2006, but I was told that was very unusual. We might get a dusting or two through out the winter but nothing much.  The winters are chilly, but with the hot sun it does tend to warm up during the day, sometimes up to 50'F.  So that's something to consider.  Some parts of the state got a lot of rain but not Albuquerque.  All in all the weather is fairly stable, no tornadoes at least.

If you are a Mexican food lover this would be the place to come.  With the University of New Mexico (as well as all sorts of colleges) here; there are all sorts of restaurants you have to choose from. The food shopping is good...we have Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, and conventional super markets like Smith's and Albertsons.  Also there are lots of fast food joints if you eat that sort of stuff as well. There is a fairly good bus system and the streets are getting more bike lanes all the time, though this is generally not a pedestrian friendly city.   

There are a few wonderful attractions, the Albuquerque Aquarium, Albuquerque Zoo and Bio Park.  

We also have the Albuquerque International Sunport.  That's our airport and is a really nice one, not too big and it's easy to find your way to your plane with little trouble.

There aren't any big lakes around here.   So if you're into swimming you might want to check into the public swimming pools. There are several around the city.   There is Tingly Beach but you can't swim there, just fish.
Tingley Beach - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The entertainment is good and Albuquerque is fast becoming a place where many movies are made.  I think California is moving east!  So these are just some of the things that go on here.


----------



## Chile Chef

JoZee said:


> I can understand that this sort of decision has to be one that you want to make sure you get it right the first time.  I have lived here going on 8 years now, so thought I'd share this with you.
> 
> You mentioned living in the southern states.  Do you mind the humidity?  I ask because I live in Albuquerque and we don't generally get any.  We do get a lot of dry heat during the summer.  This year it has been extreme.  We have had 2.6 inches of rain since January and sun every single day.  I heard the sun shines 325 days a year here, I think this year that was true.  The temperatures have been very hot, hotter then usual this summer, so if you like the heat you'll love this area. As of yet, we haven't had a monsoon season this summer.  There is generally no snow here, although we did get some in 2006, but I was told that was very unusual. We might get a dusting or two through out the winter but nothing much.  The winters are chilly, but with the hot sun it does tend to warm up during the day, sometimes up to 50'F.  So that's something to consider.  Some parts of the state got a lot of rain but not Albuquerque.  All in all the weather is fairly stable, no tornadoes at least.
> 
> If you are a Mexican food lover this would be the place to come.  With the University of New Mexico (as well as all sorts of colleges) here; there are all sorts of restaurants you have to choose from. The food shopping is good...we have Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, and conventional super markets like Smith's and Albertsons.  Also there are lots of fast food joints if you eat that sort of stuff as well. There is a fairly good bus system and the streets are getting more bike lanes all the time, though this is generally not a pedestrian friendly city.
> 
> There are a few wonderful attractions, the Albuquerque Aquarium, Albuquerque Zoo and Bio Park.
> 
> We also have the Albuquerque International Sunport.  That's our airport and is a really nice one, not too big and it's easy to find your way to your plane with little trouble.
> 
> There aren't any big lakes around here.   So if you're into swimming you might want to check into the public swimming pools. There are several around the city.   There is Tingly Beach but you can't swim there, just fish.
> Tingley Beach - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
> 
> The entertainment is good and Albuquerque is fast becoming a place where many movies are made.  I think California is moving east!  So these are just some of the things that go on here.


Hi Jo, May I call you Jo for short?



The reason I want a southern state is for the humility, I've noticed every time I go from the northern states to the southern states I can breath better, I can do everything better, and I've gone to the southern states long enough I can tell from experience. 


I can actually walk 2-3 miles longer for some reason I'm not as tired as I would be in a northern state, So I've decided that the big move is going to be a southern state I am Familiar with and that would be Florida, I just hope I get to see a lot of gators, bugs, and others I'm interested in for black & white photography. Right now I've picked Winter Park Fl, It has everything I want in a town and in college.



By the way Jo, Thank you very much about the tips for Mexican food, That will be another consideration. but with the swine flu still going, I'm not sure Texas/Mexico would be the right state/towns since that's where it originated from.


----------



## JoZee

Chile Chef said:


> Hi Jo, May I call you Jo for short?
> 
> 
> 
> The reason I want a southern state is for the humility, I've noticed every time I go from the northern states to the southern states I can breath better, I can do everything better, and I've gone to the southern states long enough I can tell from experience.
> 
> 
> I can actually walk 2-3 miles longer for some reason I'm not as tired as I would be in a northern state, So I've decided that the big move is going to be a southern state I am Familiar with and that would be Florida, I just hope I get to see a lot of gators, bugs, and others I'm interested in for black & white photography. Right now I've picked Winter Park Fl, It has everything I want in a town and in college.
> 
> 
> 
> By the way Jo, Thank you very much about the tips for Mexican food, That will be another consideration. but with the swine flu still going, I'm not sure Texas/Mexico would be the right state/towns since that's where it originated from.




Certainly you may call me Jo, all my friends do...

Well I am glad that you have decided on one of the southern states you will be happy in.  I've never been to Florida myself, but would love to see it some day, and  I am sure you will find some good eats in Florida as well.  I hear Cuban food is pretty tasty too.

Good Luck, I hope you will have a wonderful time and education while there.


----------



## Chile Chef

JoZee said:


> Certainly you may call me Jo, all my friends do...
> 
> Well I am glad that you have decided on one of the southern states you will be happy in.  I've never been to Florida myself, but would love to see it some day, and  I am sure you will find some good eats in Florida as well.  I hear Cuban food is pretty tasty too.
> 
> Good Luck, I hope you will have a wonderful time and education while there.


Thank you Jo, You know what? I've never had Cuban but I can give it a try, I always love to try new food but my forte is Mexican / Texmex food though.

But I'm curious though, Why can I breath better in a humid state? and can do everything better in a southern state?


----------



## JoZee

Chile Chef said:


> Thank you Jo, You know what? I've never had Cuban but I can give it a try, I always love to try new food but my forte is Mexican / Texmex food though.
> 
> But I'm curious though, Why can I breath better in a humid state? and can do everything better in a southern state?



You know I have no clue, usually people find it harder to breath in humidity as opposed to the dry climates. I don't know why the south works better for you then the north either, it's a mystery to me.


----------



## roadfix

I'm the opposite.  I can't stand high humidity in the air.  My body stops functioning under high humidity.  I would gladly take 100 degrees/10% humidity over 80 degrees/80% humidity.  I will always live in dry climate regions.


----------



## JoZee

roadfix said:


> I'm the opposite.  I can't stand high humidity in the air.  My body stops functioning under high humidity.  I would gladly take 100 degrees/10% humidity over 80 degrees/80% humidity.  I will always live in dry climate regions.



Then you would love it here in Albuquerque, that is how it's been all summer.  We are in a severe drought situation at the moment with 2.6 inches of rain since January.  It has been near 100 for a long time, but just recently dropped to the low 90's and the humidity hasn't been very high at all.  I wouldn't mind a little rain, our garden is really suffering because of the heat and dryness.  We use tap water to water but it's not the same, that beautiful rain water has what plants need to survive.


----------



## roadfix

JoZee said:


> Then you would love it here in Albuquerque, that is how it's been all summer.  We are in a severe drought situation at the moment with 2.6 inches of rain since January.  It has been near 100 for a long time, but just recently dropped to the low 90's and the humidity hasn't been very high at all.  I wouldn't mind a little rain, our garden is really suffering because of the heat and dryness.  We use tap water to water but it's not the same, that beautiful rain water has what plants need to survive.



I've never been to NM but I've always wondered living/settling elsewhere one day and NM has been one such state, especially in the higher elevations like Santa Fe.  

We're going thru water rationing in L.A. due to the recent droughts.  Last time we had some light rain was several months ago.  Good thing I don't have a lawn to water.  Most of our front landscaping consists of succulents.  I like that south-western look in landscaping with lots of cacti.


----------



## Chile Chef

Roadfix, Jo you guys think it could be the lower elevation that makes me work better and not the heat?


----------



## roadfix

Chile Chef said:


> Roadfix, Jo you guys think it could be the lower elevation that makes me work better and not the heat?


 
I don't know.  Have you spent time at 10,000 ft elevation before?


----------



## JoZee

Chile Chef said:


> Roadfix, Jo you guys think it could be the lower elevation that makes me work better and not the heat?




Well the air is thinner up here, that's very true.  I also read that people age faster at high elevations, not sure if that is true or not.


----------



## JoZee

roadfix said:


> I've never been to NM but I've always wondered living/settling elsewhere one day and NM has been one such state, especially in the higher elevations like Santa Fe.
> 
> We're going thru water rationing in L.A. due to the recent droughts.  Last time we had some light rain was several months ago.  Good thing I don't have a lawn to water.  Most of our front landscaping consists of succulents.  I like that south-western look in landscaping with lots of cacti.



We are doing the rotating water days here and the water police drive up and down the streets and will fine you if you don't obey the rules or waste water.  At the moment we are in a severe drought in this area; having only 2.6 inches of rain since January.  Albuquerque sits at around 5,000 ft.  I have never lived this high up before.  One thousand feet above sea level was the highest before coming here when I lived in Canada, then I lived near Boston so that was nearly sea level and then I moved here.  

I don't know that I noticed a difference in how I breathed up here on the mesa. It never affected me that I know of. I find as long as I do a 30 minute walk each day I'm fine.  I heard L.A. Was also having water issues.  I'm glad I don't have a lawn either.  It would cost too much to water it. 

We get our water bill in once a month and so far we're doing very good.  Our water consumption is 1/2 of what the neighbors are using, so we've learned to conserve.  I don't use a dishwasher, I try to limit the amount of laundry I do etc.  

We are growing some of our own food (in a back yard garden) which is all organic.  However this year the yield has been very poor due to lack of rain. 

We put mulch down on the ground to conserve moisture and have Xeriscape in our front yard. Which is basically a creative way to use native plants in an esthetically pleasing way.  I think our yard looks really nice with the agave, yucca, cactus and other native plants we've put into it. We have drought tolerant plants on the side of the house as well.  

Santa Fe is a beautiful city.  I love going there but it is so expensive to live there.  Fortunately, it's a mere hour from here so we can go visit it easy enough.  We live here in Albuquerque only out of necessity as this is where my hubby's job is.  We'd love to live in Santa Fe or even Taos if we could afford to live there.


----------



## LPBeier

I am going to start a new vent.

I have been losing the toenails on both big toes since I catered a wedding 2 months ago (being on my feet in the heat without my cane too long).  The one nail has since fallen off but the other is "hanging in there" so to speak.

Yesterday we went to the vet to pick up dog food (both dogs have allergies and are on special food).  The flats of cans we wanted had loose ones on the top and so I held up an open case and the loose ones while DH got a full one.  What I didn't know was there was an open case of another kind above hanging over the edg and I hit it with my head.  Two cans came crashing down and hit my two toes.  It hurt so bad I couldn't move.  The toe without the nail is still very painful and I think I bruised the already tender nail area.  The other toe now has twice the bruise under it and I can feel the pressure of the blood but the nail won't loosen.  My nurse friend said I should go and have it drained (ouch and yuk)

My vent is that the girl behind the desk was more worried about the fact that we dented the two cans of food and they couldn't be sold.  When I explained that the case was hanging over the edge she said that if I knew that already I should have been more careful.  DH asked to see the manager (Vet) and was told he was busy.  She added the cost of the two tins to our bill and Tony just left all the food there, helped me up and said she would never see us again.  This clinic is owned by the same people who own the clinic we go to by our old house, it is just closer for food.

My toes are horrendously sore and swollen today and I do believe I will have to go have them looked at.  I feel like I should write the owners and tell them how we were treated.  What does everyone else think?  Should I just let this go?


----------



## JoZee

LPBeier said:


> I am going to start a new vent.
> 
> I have been losing the toenails on both big toes since I catered a wedding 2 months ago (being on my feet in the heat without my cane too long).  The one nail has since fallen off but the other is "hanging in there" so to speak.
> 
> Yesterday we went to the vet to pick up dog food (both dogs have allergies and are on special food).  The flats of cans we wanted had loose ones on the top and so I held up an open case and the loose ones while DH got a full one.  What I didn't know was there was an open case of another kind above hanging over the edg and I hit it with my head.  Two cans came crashing down and hit my two toes.  It hurt so bad I couldn't move.  The toe without the nail is still very painful and I think I bruised the already tender nail area.  The other toe now has twice the bruise under it and I can feel the pressure of the blood but the nail won't loosen.  My nurse friend said I should go and have it drained (ouch and yuk)
> 
> My vent is that the girl behind the desk was more worried about the fact that we dented the two cans of food and they couldn't be sold.  When I explained that the case was hanging over the edge she said that if I knew that already I should have been more careful.  DH asked to see the manager (Vet) and was told he was busy.  She added the cost of the two tins to our bill and Tony just left all the food there, helped me up and said she would never see us again.  This clinic is owned by the same people who own the clinic we go to by our old house, it is just closer for food.
> 
> My toes are horrendously sore and swollen today and I do believe I will have to go have them looked at.  I feel like I should write the owners and tell them how we were treated.  What does everyone else think?  Should I just let this go?




Ouch, this sounds very painful.  Well, I don't know what the policy is regarding careless stocking of shelves at the vets, but maybe speak to a lawyer??  You have suffered injury which might be expensive.  Do they have a sign up at the vets that states that they won't take any responsibility for any injury caused in their office? Might be worth looking into.  Incidentally I think the person who was more concerned about the cans being dented then your injury shouldn't be working in a profession where compassion is important.  Just my opinion!


----------



## kadesma

What are you waiting for? Olivia got a finger closed in the back door here and right now her little nail turned purple and started to swell. We waited til she fell asleep and her dad steralized a needle and then put several holes one on top not much came out along the side and fluid poured out, the swelling left and she now has a new nail. She slept through it. I don't recommend doing this but the er could do it safely or your doctor and your feet should heal faster.Plus I'd write that letter..NOW
Sorry your hurting.
kades


----------



## Chef Munky

LPBeier said:


> I am going to start a new vent.
> 
> I have been losing the toenails on both big toes since I catered a wedding 2 months ago (being on my feet in the heat without my cane too long).  The one nail has since fallen off but the other is "hanging in there" so to speak.
> 
> Yesterday we went to the vet to pick up dog food (both dogs have allergies and are on special food).  The flats of cans we wanted had loose ones on the top and so I held up an open case and the loose ones while DH got a full one.  What I didn't know was there was an open case of another kind above hanging over the edg and I hit it with my head.  Two cans came crashing down and hit my two toes.  It hurt so bad I couldn't move.  The toe without the nail is still very painful and I think I bruised the already tender nail area.  The other toe now has twice the bruise under it and I can feel the pressure of the blood but the nail won't loosen.  My nurse friend said I should go and have it drained (ouch and yuk)
> 
> My vent is that the girl behind the desk was more worried about the fact that we dented the two cans of food and they couldn't be sold.  When I explained that the case was hanging over the edge she said that if I knew that already I should have been more careful.  DH asked to see the manager (Vet) and was told he was busy.  She added the cost of the two tins to our bill and Tony just left all the food there, helped me up and said she would never see us again.  This clinic is owned by the same people who own the clinic we go to by our old house, it is just closer for food.
> 
> My toes are horrendously sore and swollen today and I do believe I will have to go have them looked at.  I feel like I should write the owners and tell them how we were treated.  What does everyone else think?  Should I just let this go?



Why do vets offices have the know it all little twinkies!?  Who's Tony,the twinkie? lol you won't walk in next time without thinking of her as Tony The Twinkie"

I'd contact the vet asap.Tell him why you were there to begin with,what happened and tell him that she says "she won't see us again?" Quote her.Then ask him why? 
If you don't have an outstanding bill,what is her reasoning for not seeing you again.If no,she was wrong.
As far as not being able to sell the cans,that's a crock,they can feed the dogs that are there for overnight care.Don't pay for that.

It's now the principal of the matter.You were there to take care of your dogs needs.You got hurt,by their lack of not properly stacking the shelves.She put it on you,she had no business in doing so,or calling the shots of who the vet will see or not.

I wouldn't let it go,you don't have to.But do have it looked at by a doctor.

It wouldn't surprise me if the vet tells you he knows nothing about the incident.She probably didn't bother going back to get him,but made you think she did.She knew what she said was wrong,she's covering herself by telling you she won't see you again.Probably not if she gets fired for that.If it's going to cost him money now or in the future,who's side will he take? Yours if he's smart.


----------



## LPBeier

Chef Munky said:


> Why do vets offices have the know it all little twinkies!?  Who's Tony,the twinkie? lol you won't walk in next time without thinking of her as Tony The Twinkie"



Tony is my wonderful DH and definitely NOT a Twinkie! 

I obviously didnt' explain that part right.  The girl added the two cans to our bill so my DH refused to pay it and said that she wouldn't see us in there again (we would take our business elsewhere).  We were not there to see the vet, just buy food (our vet is at their other location, as is the owner of the two offices).  DH wanted to see the vet to complain about the service and she just passed it off and said he was busy without checking.


----------



## LPBeier

I went to the nearby clinic which is the same one I went about my first toenail falling off and he just said "let it fall off, it will grow back".  I got him again and this time he took more interest.  Kades, he did put a needle in to remove the pressure, though there is still a good hematoma (sp) there but it will probably help the swelling and pressure to have it drained.  The other toe with no nail is bruised and the skin is broken so he gave me some ointment for it to keep it from infection.  He also said that I couldn't very well press for a legal suit here because the toes were already damaged, this just made it worse.  I really don't want to go that far, I just would have liked to be treated better.

As for writing the vet, I have drafted a letter, but DH went to the other office where we actually take our dogs ti buy the food talked to the manager there who we know very well.  She said that she will deal with it.  At this (the main location) they never have loose cans or open cases on top of full cases and they don't pile it so high with an overhead shelf.  She said she knows exactly who it would be and will make sure the owner Vets and the Manager/Vet of the location where it happened know all about it.  I trust this woman to do something about it.  We have been long time customers and she loves our two dogs.  Keeping customers happy is her main focus.

In a way it is a good thing - now the other toenail will fall off sooner and they can grow back faster too.

Thanks, everyone for your comments, recommendations and support.


----------



## Chef Munky

LPBeier said:


> Tony is my wonderful DH and definitely NOT a Twinkie!
> 
> I obviously didnt' explain that part right.  The girl added the two cans to our bill so my DH refused to pay it and said that she wouldn't see us in there again (we would take our business elsewhere).  We were not there to see the vet, just buy food (our vet is at their other location, as is the owner of the two offices).  DH wanted to see the vet to complain about the service and she just passed it off and said he was busy without checking.



Whewww glad you cleared that one up,thanks 
Guess I had her pegged.I'd still mention that to him.

I've had to raise a fuss at our vets office.By the time I was done,policies were changed,and I hope in the future no other family has to go through it the way we did.
It was all unnecessary and could have been avoided if she had done the right thing to begin with,her job.


----------



## LPBeier

Just got off the phone the manager of the main office whoo was calling on behalf of the Vet owner.  This is getting totally ridiculous.  We never made a deal out of my toes getting hurt, I just sat down for a minute to compose myself because they were very sore.  The girl at the desk heard the bang and at first asked if I was okay.  I said fine and we wanted to pay for our stuff and go.

SHE is the one that brought up the two cans being dented and SAID we had to pay for them.  We NEVER threatened action, blamed anyone or asked for compensation.  All we did was decide we weren't going to buy our food there if she was going to charge us for 2 cans when it wasn't our fault.

The Vet Owner (not one of our favourites but we love her staff and so we take our dogs there) is now saying that we harrassed her employees (both the girl regarding the cans and the Manager of the main office who was relaying the message and sounding very uncomfortable.  She says that our business is no longer wanted and we can take it elsewhere.  We buy very expensive food, flea medication, medication for our dog with arthritis, get check-ups yearly for each dog and have our little one groomed.  We are talking a lot of business.

I am absolutely in shock.  The manager was very apologetic and said she represented us in a very positive light but the vet went balistic.  I am torn because now we have to find a new groomer.  Joie is so fussy and the one we have is so good with him.  Also the vets we see are wonderful with both dogs.

I should have just sucked it up and never let on I got hurt.  I mean my toes were already painful.  Under normal circumstances it wouldn't have been so bad.


----------



## Alix

Laurie, in these litigious times folks are mental about any HINT of actionable stuff. The vet was being stupid and scared. You absolutely did nothing wrong and you DIDN'T make a big deal of it. Just blow it off and find someone else who treats you better. There are lots of people in this world?


----------



## LPBeier

Alix said:


> Laurie, in these litigious times folks are mental about any HINT of actionable stuff. The vet was being stupid and scared. You absolutely did nothing wrong and you DIDN'T make a big deal of it. Just blow it off and find someone else who treats you better. There are lots of people in this world?



Thanks, Alix, I know you are right.  I am just sore (all over, not just my toes), tired and more than a little stressed.  I will sleep on it tonight and in the morning it will be like a bad dream.


----------



## babetoo

they are afraid of being sued. if they ticked me off with all this bull, i would sue , just to teach them a lesson. 

in this economy if  they can afford to lose your business and probably everyone u tell,business . 

when i was in retail , we knew one angry person would tell five and each would tell five and so on. it can really cost them big time.


----------



## JoZee

LPBeier said:


> Just got off the phone the manager of the main office whoo was calling on behalf of the Vet owner.  This is getting totally ridiculous.  We never made a deal out of my toes getting hurt, I just sat down for a minute to compose myself because they were very sore.  The girl at the desk heard the bang and at first asked if I was okay.  I said fine and we wanted to pay for our stuff and go.
> 
> SHE is the one that brought up the two cans being dented and SAID we had to pay for them.  We NEVER threatened action, blamed anyone or asked for compensation.  All we did was decide we weren't going to buy our food there if she was going to charge us for 2 cans when it wasn't our fault.
> 
> The Vet Owner (not one of our favourites but we love her staff and so we take our dogs there) is now saying that we harrassed her employees (both the girl regarding the cans and the Manager of the main office who was relaying the message and sounding very uncomfortable.  She says that our business is no longer wanted and we can take it elsewhere.  We buy very expensive food, flea medication, medication for our dog with arthritis, get check-ups yearly for each dog and have our little one groomed.  We are talking a lot of business.
> 
> I am absolutely in shock.  The manager was very apologetic and said she represented us in a very positive light but the vet went balistic.  I am torn because now we have to find a new groomer.  Joie is so fussy and the one we have is so good with him.  Also the vets we see are wonderful with both dogs.
> 
> I should have just sucked it up and never let on I got hurt.  I mean my toes were already painful.  Under normal circumstances it wouldn't have been so bad.



Wow, I think the Vet is definitely over reacting to what happened.  You got hurt, they didn't, and as I said what happened to compassion, they are in the business to help sick animals for heaven's sake.  Where is their compassion for your injury? They should have apologized to you for their carelessness in stocking their shelves improperly!  I think they are afraid you will sue them. Their attitude isn't exactly what I'd have expected either, they should have apologized to you then and there; and if you did sue it would serve them right for being so nasty!


----------



## Alix

My very minor vent is the weather. We had 2 weeks of what looked like summer and now its over. THAT SUCKS!


----------



## LPBeier

Alix said:


> My very minor vent is the weather. We had 2 weeks of what looked like summer and now its over. THAT SUCKS!



That isn't a minor vent, Alix!  You should have been here from early June to last week!  We had almost too much summer here and the rains are a very welcome (for most) change.  Hopefully  it will decrease the fire risk and have freshened everything.  But I am looking forward to the sun on the weekend!


----------



## bethzaring

Laurie, I am so sorry that this happened to you, your dh and your dogs.  I believe things happen for a reason but I sure as heck can't see the reason in this case....maybe you will find  another vet and groomer that will treat you well.....hope you heal soon!


----------



## Chile Chef

Alix said:


> My very minor vent is the weather. We had 2 weeks of what looked like summer and now its over. THAT SUCKS!


I've been saying it all along, I hope mother nature will see it in her heart and give us a short and mild winter.


----------



## Wyogal

We want snow here (up on the mountain, anyways!)... hopefully at Thanksgiving! The Nordic skiing here is great when there is snow! A really good freeze and decent length of cold weather would be nice this winter, too. Beetle damage has taken a huge toll on the forests...


----------



## JoZee

Our weather this summer has been insanely hot! 

It started in March actually.  We had 70'F in March. I'm not complaining about that, it was kinda nice to have it like that so early, it was very pleasant, however it was a tad warm for that month. 

Then June hit and the temperature rose into the 90-100'F range and stayed that way for about 2 weeks straight.  No rain, just lots of sun and hot hot hot!  I know so many this year have had no summer to speak of, but it seems its either one extreme or the other.    

We got some rain this morning which I believe has brought the grand total of precip. in Albuquerque to around 3.6 inches FOR THE WHOLE YEAR SO FAR!  Can you say severe drought!!!

Seems like the earth is going through a lot of weather changes.  Lets hope things settle down and everyone is able to enjoy some good weather before the cold sets in.


----------



## LPBeier

All's well that ends well.

The vet owner called today, and was very genuinely apologetic.  I honestly have never seen or heard this woman so honest and humble in the 10 years I have been associated with her office.

I guess the vet we usually see, the office manager, the groomer and two techs saw her and said that she made a big mistake.  They said we were excellent customers and didn't deserve to be treated that way.  One of the techs had the same knee replacement surgery as me and told the vet that if something fell on her toe it would sure add to regular discomfort.  So, the owner talked to the girl we dealt with at the other office and asked her what REALLY happened.  I guess the girl had time to think about it and related the story as I did to you.

Anyway, our account has been credited with the cost of the food ($140) and she really wants us back.  She said she was having a bad day and thought it was one of the ever complaining clients and had no right to treat us that way.  She asked if my feet were okay and offered to pay for any medication I needed for them.  

This wasn't a suck up job.  I have known this woman for years and she is all business and we switched to one of her other vets after she told us our 6 month old pup, who had hip displacia, needed surgery on both legs NOW, at $4,000 each, even though we kept telling her we couldn't afford even the appointment with the specialist let alone the surgeries.  The other vet put Violet on medication ($80 every 3 months) and it has worked fine.  The boss also fired a friend's daughter on a misunderstanding and apologized but wouldn't hire her back on principle.  

I have honestly never heard her this vulnerable.  I said we shall see about coming back, but I am glad it worked out this way.  Whether we go back or not, I am glad to put this behind us and that it ended on a more positive note.  

Thanks everyone for putting up with me on this one.  I am just looking ahead now.


----------



## Wyogal

That's good.


----------



## JoZee

LPBeier said:


> All's well that ends well.
> 
> The vet owner called today, and was very genuinely apologetic.  I honestly have never seen or heard this woman so honest and humble in the 10 years I have been associated with her office.
> 
> I guess the vet we usually see, the office manager, the groomer and two techs saw her and said that she made a big mistake.  They said we were excellent customers and didn't deserve to be treated that way.  One of the techs had the same knee replacement surgery as me and told the vet that if something fell on her toe it would sure add to regular discomfort.  So, the owner talked to the girl we dealt with at the other office and asked her what REALLY happened.  I guess the girl had time to think about it and related the story as I did to you.
> 
> Anyway, our account has been credited with the cost of the food ($140) and she really wants us back.  She said she was having a bad day and thought it was one of the ever complaining clients and had no right to treat us that way.  She asked if my feet were okay and offered to pay for any medication I needed for them.
> 
> This wasn't a suck up job.  I have known this woman for years and she is all business and we switched to one of her other vets after she told us our 6 month old pup, who had hip displacia, needed surgery on both legs NOW, at $4,000 each, even though we kept telling her we couldn't afford even the appointment with the specialist let alone the surgeries.  The other vet put Violet on medication ($80 every 3 months) and it has worked fine.  The boss also fired a friend's daughter on a misunderstanding and apologized but wouldn't hire her back on principle.
> 
> I have honestly never heard her this vulnerable.  I said we shall see about coming back, but I am glad it worked out this way.  Whether we go back or not, I am glad to put this behind us and that it ended on a more positive note.
> 
> Thanks everyone for putting up with me on this one.  I am just looking ahead now.



That's wonderful, I am so glad the owner had the sense to call you and make amends.  I don't blame you for feeling bitter about this and considering the possibility of  other options.  

It is good when things work out on a positive note.


----------



## babetoo

so glad this was resolved in a positive way. so often these days, we just shrug and move on. demand quality customer service. you may not always get it but they won't forget u


----------



## LadyCook61

LPBeier said:


> I am going to start a new vent.
> 
> I have been losing the toenails on both big toes since I catered a wedding 2 months ago (being on my feet in the heat without my cane too long). The one nail has since fallen off but the other is "hanging in there" so to speak.
> 
> Yesterday we went to the vet to pick up dog food (both dogs have allergies and are on special food). The flats of cans we wanted had loose ones on the top and so I held up an open case and the loose ones while DH got a full one. What I didn't know was there was an open case of another kind above hanging over the edg and I hit it with my head. Two cans came crashing down and hit my two toes. It hurt so bad I couldn't move. The toe without the nail is still very painful and I think I bruised the already tender nail area. The other toe now has twice the bruise under it and I can feel the pressure of the blood but the nail won't loosen. My nurse friend said I should go and have it drained (ouch and yuk)
> 
> My vent is that the girl behind the desk was more worried about the fact that we dented the two cans of food and they couldn't be sold. When I explained that the case was hanging over the edge she said that if I knew that already I should have been more careful. DH asked to see the manager (Vet) and was told he was busy. She added the cost of the two tins to our bill and Tony just left all the food there, helped me up and said she would never see us again. This clinic is owned by the same people who own the clinic we go to by our old house, it is just closer for food.
> 
> My toes are horrendously sore and swollen today and I do believe I will have to go have them looked at. I feel like I should write the owners and tell them how we were treated. What does everyone else think? Should I just let this go?


 
Oh Laurie... how painful that must have been.  I read your last post and glad the issue is resolved .  
hugs,
 LC


----------



## kadesma

Ever have a small thing that bugged the devil out of you? Something others tell you to get over it? Well I don't know what is going on with my computer, but every time i go from, DC to my mail box, , I have to do the whole log in business over..It drives me to distraction..
I know as my DH and the kids say, so what, so WHAT. It makes me crazy, I have something to say and by the time I' finished, I just want to go do something else!!! And then there is this keyboard!!!!!ack
kadesma


----------



## babetoo

this is a sewing rant. i am making a baby quilt for the little girl due in oct. got it all together with the idea of quilting it, either machine or by hand.  did one section on machine. hate it. it made it bunch up and looks awful.

looked for seam ripper to take it out, searched everywhere in my sewing stuff. couldn't find. then remember i put it kitchen to remove plastic from various foods.etc

then some hand quilting, don't like it either. i have always in the past just tied here and there with yarn.

now am thinking about taking large stitches with the yarn and also some tyeing. i spent two hours on the hunt for seam ripper, etc. back where i started this am. 

i get really crazed when stuff like this happens. effectually i spun my wheels


----------



## babetoo

babetoo said:


> this is a sewing rant. i am making a baby quilt for the little girl due in oct. got it all together with the idea of quilting it, either machine or by hand. did one section on machine. hate it. it made it bunch up and looks awful.
> 
> looked for seam ripper to take it out, searched everywhere in my sewing stuff. couldn't find. then remember i put it kitchen to remove plastic from various foods.etc
> 
> then some hand quilting, don't like it either. i have always in the past just tied here and there with yarn.
> 
> now am thinking about taking large stitches with the yarn and also some tyeing. i spent two hours on the hunt for seam ripper, etc. back where i started this am.
> 
> i get really crazed when stuff like this happens. effectually i spun my wheels


 
put away for the night, hand quilting seems to be the way to do. the needle for using yarn is blunt and is too hard to get through the layers.


----------



## Alix

Egads babetoo! I sympathize. Good idea to put it away! UGH!!


----------



## msmofet

Argggggggggggggggggggggggg husband!!


----------



## CasperImproved

LPBeier said:


> Just got off the phone the manager of the main office whoo was calling on behalf of the Vet owner.  This is getting totally ridiculous.  We never made a deal out of my toes getting hurt, I just sat down for a minute to compose myself because they were very sore.  The girl at the desk heard the bang and at first asked if I was okay.  I said fine and we wanted to pay for our stuff and go.
> 
> SHE is the one that brought up the two cans being dented and SAID we had to pay for them.  We NEVER threatened action, blamed anyone or asked for compensation.  All we did was decide we weren't going to buy our food there if she was going to charge us for 2 cans when it wasn't our fault.
> 
> The Vet Owner (not one of our favourites but we love her staff and so we take our dogs there) is now saying that we harrassed her employees (both the girl regarding the cans and the Manager of the main office who was relaying the message and sounding very uncomfortable.  She says that our business is no longer wanted and we can take it elsewhere.  We buy very expensive food, flea medication, medication for our dog with arthritis, get check-ups yearly for each dog and have our little one groomed.  We are talking a lot of business.
> 
> I am absolutely in shock.  The manager was very apologetic and said she represented us in a very positive light but the vet went balistic.  I am torn because now we have to find a new groomer.  Joie is so fussy and the one we have is so good with him.  Also the vets we see are wonderful with both dogs.
> 
> I should have just sucked it up and never let on I got hurt.  I mean my toes were already painful.  Under normal circumstances it wouldn't have been so bad.



Laurie - I did not even read further on this thread. So if I repeat or make a fool of myself, please forgive.

I would be so angry at "them" right now, I'd have a hard time, and would need to save my contact for the next day.

There are better operations out there. Ask you friends. I had a similar experience in regards to dental support on my own behalf.

What I learned? The callousness and poor customer support attitude for a large contingent of the  staff his customers support. The endemic symptoms of poor customer service, started with the leadership of that practice.

I have since moved on to another one, where not only the staff (admin and assistants) are completely the people I can just converse with comfortably, but so is the dentist. in fact, I know quite a bit about them and their family, and they also ask when I visit, the right questions about mine.

Look around, ask for referrals from your trusted friends. If you do not live is a micro-environment. You can do better, and both you and your fur-baby will be happier.

I know.... And if anyone treats you that shoddy, and you are the paying customer, that should be your cue to move on.

Bob


----------



## CasperImproved

Alix said:


> My very minor vent is the weather. We had 2 weeks of what looked like summer and now its over. THAT SUCKS!



They have summer in Canada?

I would have thought you guys just changed out the flannels for normal clothes for a few weeks of the year.  

Bob


----------



## JoAnn L.

Went to the eye doctor and was told I have the beginning of Macular Degeneration and Cataracts (I know they can do wonderful things now for the Cataracts) but it is the other one I am worried about. I am still in shock. I can't wait for this year to end, I wonder what is next.


----------



## kadesma

JoAnn L. said:


> Went to the eye doctor and was told I have the beginning of Macular Degeneration and Cataracts (I know they can do wonderful things now for the Cataracts) but it is the other one I am worried about. I am still in shock. I can't wait for this year to end, I wonder what is next.


JoAnn,
I can understand your frustration,anger,fear. There are times I think what did I do to deserve this, why does life have to be so hard and ugly..There isn't  much we can do but have faith and accept the prayers and good thoughts of family and friends. I've found keeping my grand children around helps. It keeps me and my mind busy so I don't dwell on the hurtful things.
I want you to know if prayer and good thoughts helps and lets you know you are cared for and loved, then know you are in my heart,thoughts and prayers each and every day.
If you need and ear, you have mine.
kades


----------



## JoAnn L.

kadesma said:


> JoAnn,
> I can understand your frustration,anger,fear. There are times I think what did I do to deserve this, why does life have to be so hard and ugly..There isn't much we can do but have faith and accept the prayers and good thoughts of family and friends. I've found keeping my grand children around helps. It keeps me and my mind busy so I don't dwell on the hurtful things.
> I want you to know if prayer and good thoughts helps and lets you know you are cared for and loved, then know you are in my heart,thoughts and prayers each and every day.
> If you need and ear, you have mine.
> kades


 
Thanks for caring kadesma. The eye doctor gave me a Amsler Grid to look at every day to monitor my vision. I will just have to take it one day at a time.


----------



## kadesma

JoAnn L. said:


> Thanks for caring kadesma. The eye doctor gave me a Amsler Grid to look at every day to monitor my vision. I will just have to take it one day at a time.


That is all we can do, take it one day at a time. I'll pray that things slow down and that they just might go away.Remember I'm here if you need a shoulder.
kades


----------



## babetoo

now you got me worried. i have been putting off exam , i shouldn't do that with diabetes. lit a fire under me. 

i am so sorry joann, hope it works out for you. i am elderly . some eye issues are age related. best wishes


----------



## Chile Chef

babetoo said:


> now you got me worried. i have been putting off exam , i shouldn't do that with diabetes. lit a fire under me.
> 
> i am so sorry joann, hope it works out for you. i am elderly . some eye issues are age related. best wishes


Hiya Babetoo, You should never ever mess with your health, it's really really bad if you do, I know if I do I could wind up in the hospital or worse!

So please get that exam, Yeah I know I'm not liked by everyone here, but I hate it when people don't look after they're health!


----------



## babetoo

Chile Chef said:


> Hiya Babetoo, You should never ever mess with your health, it's really really bad if you do, I know if I do I could wind up in the hospital or worse!
> 
> So please get that exam, Yeah I know I'm not liked by everyone here, but I hate it when people don't look after they're health!


 
why would i not like you? that is good advice. now if u nagged me. i wouldn't like it. i am aiming for next month, it is very expensive for me to go . even with insurance. 40 buck for transpiration and maybe more to pay the deductible. we do what we can.


----------



## Dina

Holy cow, Babe!  I want to pay what you do.  I ended up paying over $1,500 for blood work to check my hormone levels cause I felt like dying already.  I had another done 1 month later for another $600.  I'm still in debt with my doctor and can't afford to get more blood work done to check my levels and I'm all out of bioidentical hormones.  Argh!  Why do we have to go through this menopausal stages?!  I absolutely hate it!


----------



## Dina

Ugh!  I can't sleep again!  I need a whole turkey leg(tryptophan) and a bottle of wine to get me drowsy!  AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!


----------



## Dina

Why have I stayed away for so long from DC?!  I'll tell you....darn facebook has me addicted!  Ugh!  I love you all so much and reading up on your posts just makes my heart smile!


----------



## Chile Chef

Dina said:


> Ugh!  I can't sleep again!  I need a whole turkey leg(tryptophan) and a bottle of wine to get me drowsy!  AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!


Join the club, Lately I have'nt been sleep well at all, I've been waking up at 1-3 in the morning and staying up till 8 am, that's bad for college when my classes start at 8:00 am.


----------



## Dina

Chile, It'll catch up to you.  Try to get some sleep.

Homework has been taking 2 hours with my little one (1st grader) then I'm off to help the older kids with ELA, Geometry or Algebra.  Wow!  My head is spinning trying to get dinner ready in the middle of it all!  Though I got dinner done by 6, it was cold by the time we ate at 8.  Ugh!  I commend those moms who work full time and find time to get all their evening stuff going with family.


----------



## msmofet

I just want to warn everyone in advance that I will be down in the dumps for awhile. Starting with the day of my accident, August 23, which also is the day that 4 years ago my mom had a massive stroke and heart attack which put her in the hospital completely paralyzed unable to breathe or swallow on her own, with a feeding tube and a respirator. Then it was discovered that she had stage 4 uterine cancer that was untreatable due to the severely weakened state she was in. I am an only child and I had to make the life and death decision by myself. I know she would not want to live on life support at all and I was getting pressured by the hospital doctors to put her on them. I signed a DNR. Then when they found the cancer that made the choice clear. First I didn't even know if she knew what happened to her or if I was even there or if she was in pain. But if she was aware or not I wasn't going to put her on support just so she could die slowly and painfully from the cancer. Her 68th birthday was September 11 and she went into hospice the next day. She passed 7 days later on September 18. She passed at 2AM and I got a call from the home saying (and these are the exact words I will never forget them) "your mother is dead and we need her body out of here within 2 hours. We have no refrigeration and it's hot." I was in shock at the way she spoke to me and by what she said I just hung up. She passed without saying one word to me from the moment she was taken to the hospital but I spent every minute I could at her side. I worked full time ran home to drop off takeout for the family, then went to hospital for 4 hours, then went to her house to clean (she was a shut in and kept everything) and I would get maybe 2 hours at home before it started the next day.

Ok I am sorry to lay all that out but I needed to let some of these emotions out on this sad anniversary. Thank you for your patience.


----------



## babetoo

msmofet said:


> I just want to warn everyone in advance that I will be down in the dumps for awhile. Starting with the day of my accident, August 23, which also is the day that 4 years ago my mom had a massive stroke and heart attack which put her in the hospital completely paralyzed unable to breathe or swallow on her own, with a feeding tube and a respirator. Then it was discovered that she had stage 4 uterine cancer that was untestable due to the severely weakened state she was in. I am an only child and I had to make the life and death decision by myself. I know she would not want to live on life support at all and I was getting pressured by the hospital doctors to put her on them. I signed a DNR. Then when they found the cancer that made the choice clear. First I didn't even know if she knew what happened to her or if I was even there or if she was in pain. But if she was aware or not I wasn't going to put her on support just so she could die slowly and painfully from the cancer. Her 68th birthday was September 11 and she went into hospice the next day. She passed 7 days later on September 18. She passed at 2AM and I got a call from the home saying (and these are the exact words I will never forget them) "your mother is dead and we need her body out of here within 2 hours. We have no refrigeration and it's hot." I was in shock at the way she spoke to me and by what she said I just hung up. She passed without saying one word to me from the moment she was taken to the hospital but I spent every minute I could at her side. I worked full time ran home to drop off takeout for the family, then went to hospital for 4 hours, then went to her house to clean (she was a shut in and kept everything) and I would get maybe 2 hours at home before it started the next day.
> 
> Ok I am sorry to lay all that out but I needed to let some of these emotions out on this sad anniversary. Thank you for your patience.


 
people can be so cruel. my friend wallie is now a vegetable more or less as they have her drugged so she can't get out of bed. they want her quiet. the hospital called her daughter and wanted her approval for three drugs. she told them that they were just restraining her with chemicals. the dr. got on the phone and told her that if she did not approve.they would "put her in an insane asylum" of course he can't do that but she got very upset. she is trying to get a referral to another doctor. poor wallie, breaks my heart. even time i hear my wind chimes, i think of her. she gave them to me on my birthday.

i am so sorry you are having such a hard time. i wish i could tell you it will pass. it is to soon, not to be still in mourning. i am thinking of u.


----------



## msmofet

babetoo said:


> people can be so cruel. my friend wallie is now a vegetable more or less as they have her drugged so she can't get out of bed. they want her quiet. the hospital called her daughter and wanted her approval for three drugs. she told them that they were just restraining her with chemicals. the dr. got on the phone and told her that if she did not approve.they would "put her in an insane asylum" of course he can't do that but she got very upset. she is trying to get a referral to another doctor. poor wallie, breaks my heart. even time i hear my wind chimes, i think of her. she gave them to me on my birthday.
> 
> i am so sorry you are having such a hard time. i wish i could tell you it will pass. it is to soon, not to be still in mourning. i am thinking of u.


 thank you for the kind words. you and wallie is still in my prayers


----------



## Alix

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{msmofet and babetoo}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


----------



## msmofet

Alix said:


> {{{{{{{{{{{{{{msmofet and babetoo}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


 thank you alix


----------



## Alix

You're welcome sweetie. I posted that chocolate pound cake recipe for you. Sometimes the only thing that helps is a hug and a good hit of chocolate.


----------



## msmofet

Alix said:


> You're welcome sweetie. I posted that chocolate pound cake recipe for you. Sometimes the only thing that helps is a hug and a good hit of chocolate.


 thank you but i missed the recipe please post link here for me i really want to see that!!


----------



## Claire

A word to the wise here ... there is NO excuse for the treatment you got msmofat.  However, for some of us you CAN prevent that happening to your children, especially if you're getting on in years or have cancer or a heart condition that could go south any time.  I know for some it is ghoulish or it makes them fear for causing bad luck (just as some refuse to make out wills).  My parents (75 and 79, Mom with cancer) made their plans well in advance (at least a decade ago) so their bodies will be taken care of without us girls having to shoulder these responsibilities.  The local funeral home will immediately go to work once one of them dies.  And, no, they are not wealthy, they're what most would call lower middle class, if that.  So save your children from what she had to go through.  No one is immortal, although I hate to say it, many of us boomers like to think if we eat enough granola we will be.  So, think of your children and make plans so that in their terrible hours they won't have to make horrible, expensive decisions or get a call like that one!  I'd be devastated.

My heart goes out to you.


----------



## msmofet

Claire said:


> A word to the wise here ... there is NO excuse for the treatment you got msmofat. However, for some of us you CAN prevent that happening to your children, especially if you're getting on in years or have cancer or a heart condition that could go south any time. I know for some it is ghoulish or it makes them fear for causing bad luck (just as some refuse to make out wills). My parents (75 and 79, Mom with cancer) made their plans well in advance (at least a decade ago) so their bodies will be taken care of without us girls having to shoulder these responsibilities. The local funeral home will immediately go to work once one of them dies. And, no, they are not wealthy, they're what most would call lower middle class, if that. So save your children from what she had to go through. No one is immortal, although I hate to say it, many of us boomers like to think if we eat enough granola we will be. So, think of your children and make plans so that in their terrible hours they won't have to make horrible, expensive decisions or get a call like that one! I'd be devastated.
> 
> My heart goes out to you.


 thank you. the funeral home i called was wonderful and kind to me. it was the hospice that sucked!!


----------



## kadesma

When my dad and mom each passed, I was so very lucky. Hospice and the Funeral home were so kind and helpful..The problem I encountered was with my mother. She thought she had the flu, so we took her to the hospital..And here was the biggest mistake of my life and one I still regret. They admitted her and each day a different doctor would come in, send her for this and that and each one told us a different story about what was wrong. Then, I was feeding her as the nurse who was supposed to was busy talking to another nurse about where they were going after work...Mom coughed, (smoker cough)..I was told to stop feeding her and she was not to have any liquid because she would aspirate it and get pneumonia..I tried to tell them she was a smoker but nursie got to the incoming doc and he followed her lead..My mom's favorite thing in the world was her coffee, now it was so thick you thought it was jello. she took one sip realized it was thick and from that time refused to eat or drink..I find it hard to forgive myself for not just taking her home..That was what she wanted but I let the doctors over rule her and me..To this day I blame myself for her dying in that awful hospital...So, stick to your guns. Claire wonderful post and one to heed. Thank you.
kadesmal


----------



## LadyCook61

kadesma said:


> When my dad and mom each passed, I was so very lucky. Hospice and the Funeral home were so kind and helpful..The problem I encountered was with my mother. She thought she had the flu, so we took her to the hospital..And here was the biggest mistake of my life and one I still regret. They admitted her and each day a different doctor would come in, send her for this and that and each one told us a different story about what was wrong. Then, I was feeding her as the nurse who was supposed to was busy talking to another nurse about where they were going after work...Mom coughed, (smoker cough)..I was told to stop feeding her and she was not to have any liquid because she would aspirate it and get pneumonia..I tried to tell them she was a smoker but nursie got to the incoming doc and he followed her lead..My mom's favorite thing in the world was her coffee, now it was so thick you thought it was jello. she took one sip realized it was thick and from that time refused to eat or drink..I find it hard to forgive myself for not just taking her home..That was what she wanted but I let the doctors over rule her and me..To this day I blame myself for her dying in that awful hospital...So, stick to your guns. Claire wonderful post and one to heed. Thank you.
> kadesmal


 
(((((kadesma))))  I know how you feel, my mom died in the hospital too.  She was only 66.


----------



## babetoo

the doctor is talking about a loony bin for my friend wallie. they are angry that they bare the cost of someone to watch every minute. as soon as they can remove the trac they would do the move. her daughter is trying to get another doctor and not having much luck. to many criteria they have to meet. i have gotten a list on line, hope one will be right. they have wallie so doped, i don't know what she needs a sitter. they are worried about lawsuits and covering their ***. this nightmare just goes on and on.


----------



## CharlieD

I have nothing to vent about, I just want to complain. I am so tired, starting back from begining of the summer it's been so crazy around here. I am very, very tired, phisicaly tiered, really need vacation. But it's just ot happening in near future.


----------



## msmofet

*GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!* 

i am pissed because someone on another *cooking* forum (not the one you are thinking) posted one of my "Mom's" recipes that i posted on 6/15/09 as his own. it was almost word for word. where i had written it in 3rd person (mom) he changed to 1st person. he gave no credit to me or my mom!! i have no problem with people using or reposting my recipes so long as credit is given.

this is also bad timimg and to explain why i am so touchy about this is beause my mom WOULD have been 72 on 9/11 and she passed 7 days after her 68th birthday on 9/18/05. i am feeling very sad. i am now feeling sorry i jumped at him like i did but it just touched a nerve. i hope he understands. i am sure recipes of loved ones who have passed are a sensitive subject to many people. i am tearing up at the moment. i think my cooking skills are average for a homecook and the food is tasty but not spectacular. but am i wrong in thinking i / mom should have been acknowledged?

am i being to b*t**y, petty or touchy about this?


----------



## babetoo

i think  you should have been given credit


----------



## Barbara L

msmofet said:


> *GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!*
> 
> i am pissed because someone on another *cooking* forum (not the one you are thinking) posted one of my "Mom's" recipes that i posted on 6/15/09 as his own. it was almost word for word. where i had written it in 3rd person (mom) he changed to 1st person. he gave no credit to me or my mom!! i have no problem with people using or reposting my recipes so long as credit is given.
> 
> this is also bad timimg and to explain why i am so touchy about this is beause my mom WOULD have been 72 on 9/11 and she passed 7 days after her 68th birthday on 9/18/05. i am feeling very sad. i am now feeling sorry i jumped at him like i did but it just touched a nerve. i hope he understands. i am sure recipes of loved ones who have passed are a sensitive subject to many people. i am tearing up at the moment. i think my cooking skills are average for a homecook and the food is tasty but not spectacular. but am i wrong in thinking i / mom should have been acknowledged?
> 
> am i being to b*t**y, petty or touchy about this?


I think acknowledgment should definitely been given. It's one thing to copy a recipe exactly as written, but he changed the wording to make it appear to be his own. 

I can understand you being a little touchy about this right now, but you evidently explained this to him, so I think you are fine.  I went through a touchy situation at one of the Facebook games I play recently as well.  Someone who is not even in my "crew" (one of my game partners) was going around leaving mean "yo mama" jokes on everyone's pages. She didn't know us, and there was no reason to leave them for us. The one I got was one of the "yo mama is so ugly..." jokes and it touched a nerve for me, as my mom passed away right before Christmas in 2000. I wrote a message (polite but to the point) about the fact that some jokes may be funny in the right circumstances, but that polite people know who they should and should not tell those jokes to, and that I did not appreciate it. I noticed a few other people left similar messages for her.

I am pretty good about taking things like that in stride, but now and then I still go through my "I want my Mama" periods, and she just happened to hit during one of those.

Barbara


----------



## msmofet

Barbara L said:


> I think acknowledgment should definitely been given. It's one thing to copy a recipe exactly as written, but he changed the wording to make it appear to be his own.
> 
> I can understand you being a little touchy about this right now, but you evidently explained this to him, so I think you are fine. I went through a touchy situation at one of the Facebook games I play recently as well. Someone who is not even in my "crew" (one of my game partners) was going around leaving mean "yo mama" jokes on everyone's pages. She didn't know us, and there was no reason to leave them for us. The one I got was one of the "yo mama is so ugly..." jokes and it touched a nerve for me, as my mom passed away right before Christmas in 2000. I wrote a message (polite but to the point) about the fact that some jokes may be funny in the right circumstances, but that polite people know who they should and should not tell those jokes to, and that I did not appreciate it. I noticed a few other people left similar messages for her.
> 
> I am pretty good about taking things like that in stride, but now and then I still go through my "I want my Mama" periods, and she just happened to hit during one of those.
> 
> Barbara


 thank you sweetie.
i am so sorry for your loss and the bad treatment you got from an unthinking fool!!

btw i am not a member and never have even looked at facebook before. you can play games on facebook like on yahoo games? i love playing canasta, backgammon and spades.


----------



## Barbara L

msmofet said:


> thank you sweetie.
> i am so sorry for your loss and the bad treatment you got from an unthinking fool!!
> 
> btw i am not a member and never have even looked at facebook before. you can play games on facebook like on yahoo games? i love playing canasta, backgammon and spades.


Thanks!  

Yes, there are a lot of games on Facebook. I also play games with my daughter on Yahoo (mainly Literati). 

Barbara


----------



## kadesma

Barbara, Msmofet, you both have reason to be very angry. msmofet good for you giving them a piece of your mind. How very rude to STEAL your recipe and I do mean steal. No leeway or anything given to this person who did this. Frankly a swift kick would be a way to go...I'm proud of your telling them off and don't you dare apologize. Barbara, we all love our mom's and there is no call to be so darn rude. That person would get the cold shoulder from me and as for saying your forgiven!!!!  When pigs fly... Take it for what it's worth Barbara, rudeness..Payback will come one day and may you see it and listen to the squeeling when it does come...Know your both loved and cared for
kades


----------



## msmofet

kadesma said:


> Barbara, Msmofet, you both have reason to be very angry. msmofet good for you giving them a piece of your mind. How very rude to STEAL your recipe and I do mean steal. No leeway or anything given to this person who did this. Frankly a swift kick would be a way to go...I'm proud of your telling them off and don't you dare apologize. Barbara, we all love our mom's and there is no call to be so darn rude. That person would get the cold shoulder from me and as for saying your forgiven!!!! When pigs fly... Take it for what it's worth Barbara, rudeness..Payback will come one day and may you see it and listen to the squeeling when it does come...Know your both loved and cared for
> kades


 thank you for the love!! sending a big hug your way!!


----------



## Barbara L

kadesma said:


> Barbara, Msmofet, you both have reason to be very angry. msmofet good for you giving them a piece of your mind. How very rude to STEAL your recipe and I do mean steal. No leeway or anything given to this person who did this. Frankly a swift kick would be a way to go...I'm proud of your telling them off and don't you dare apologize. Barbara, we all love our mom's and there is no call to be so darn rude. That person would get the cold shoulder from me and as for saying your forgiven!!!!  When pigs fly... Take it for what it's worth Barbara, rudeness..Payback will come one day and may you see it and listen to the squeeling when it does come...Know your both loved and cared for
> kades


Thanks!  All I know is that if I ever have to go to battle against anyone in a dark alley, I want you (and James! LOL) with me!

Barbara


----------



## Dixie_Amazon

*Handi-Vac Discontinued*

Minor but annoying.

I decided to pull out my Handi-Vac for the first time in a while. I needed bags and none were to be found at the store. So I go online to Reynold's and see that they have been discontinued.


----------



## msmofet

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

AUTO BODY SHOP SAYS NO CAR TILL *MAYBE* NEXT WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!!

that will be a month!!


----------



## msmofet

Dixie_Amazon said:


> Minor but annoying.
> 
> I decided to pull out my Handi-Vac for the first time in a while. I needed bags and none were to be found at the store. So I go online to Reynold's and see that they have been discontinued.


 i have one of those!! they are fairly new WTH? i wouldn't have bought it if i knew it was going to be disposable!! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG


----------



## babetoo

msmofet said:


> i have one of those!! they are fairly new WTH? i wouldn't have bought it if i knew it was going to be disposable!! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG


 

i have one too, i love it . a bummer soon won't be able to use. amazon is selling bags in boxes of 24 for 30.00 i think, plus shipping. i am thinking would just be cheaper to throw away. they said didn't sell enough.


----------



## msmofet

babetoo said:


> i have one too, i love it . a bummer soon won't be able to use. amazon is selling bags in boxes of 24 for 30.00 i think, plus shipping. i am thinking would just be cheaper to throw away. they said didn't sell enough.


 i heard it works on the ziplock vac bags. i guess i will try that.


----------



## Wyogal

I get annoyed with people that ask for advice, then when they get what they ask for, are rude and disrespectful in return.
If they know so much about what they need to do, then don't ask for advice.


----------



## Bilby

Sometimes there is a language issue that makes people sound harsher than intended. I know the thread you are referring to.  Without meaning to be rude though, I did think you were a little blunt too.  So maybe it is bit of irking each other? Or maybe neither of you intended to be that way and it just comes over to the reader in those instances, fueling each other on.  It does happen.


----------



## Wyogal

I just found that there was a negative remark about every helpful suggestion made. and yes, it is irksome. I was offended by the "duh!" comment. What I suggested was quite reasonable and quite frankly, common sense. I didn't need to be treated as though I was stupid for suggesting something that diet experts everywhere recommend. If you don't want it eaten, don't put it in the cupboard.


----------



## babetoo

msmofet said:


> i heard it works on the zip lock vac bags. i guess i will try that.


 
how would you seal it. perfectly willing to try, no frost bite on any of my meat using the ones that came with it. 

i was told once that you can use a straw to suck out all the air. lol. somehow  that does not appeal. just silly


----------



## msmofet

babetoo said:


> how would you seal it. perfectly willing to try, no frost bite on any of my meat using the ones that came with it.
> 
> i was told once that you can use a straw to suck out all the air. lol. somehow that does not appeal. just silly


not the regular old ziplock bags. ziplock came out with their version of the reynolds handi-vac and they have the vac bags to go with the ziplock vac machine. i read that the ziplock vac bags can be used with the handi vac machine.


----------



## Alix

I forgot to buy Smarties to make monster cookies today. Grrrr! I'm having a small snit now. I was really looking forward to those dang it all!


----------



## Chile Chef

Alix said:


> I forgot to buy Smarties to make monster cookies today. Grrrr! I'm having a small snit now. I was really looking forward to those dang it all!


I hate when stuff like that happens, Alix.

By the way when your done witht he cookies save me one,


----------



## msmofet

Alix said:


> I forgot to buy Smarties to make monster cookies today. Grrrr! I'm having a small snit now. I was really looking forward to those dang it all!


 noxema!! oh wait you said snit?  



sorry couldn't resist!!


----------



## Alix

I feel better, I used peanut m and m's instead. And check your karma msmofet.


----------



## msmofet

Alix said:


> I feel better, I used peanut m and m's instead. And check your karma msmofet.


i'm ascart to look!!


----------



## LadyCook61

Nothing major, just annoyed that hubby and his friend put salt and pepper on the mashed potatoes before even trying it out and hubby's friend put gobs of butter on it !    I flavored it already.  The man is really getting on my nerves by now, especially when he stabs the meat to get it off the platter , instead of just picking it up with the fork, he stabs it, with a quick stab .  I can hardly wait until he leaves for Texas Oct. 5th.


----------



## kadesma

LadyCook61 said:


> Nothing major, just annoyed that hubby and his friend put salt and pepper on the mashed potatoes before even trying it out and hubby's friend put gobs of butter on it !    I flavored it already.  The man is really getting on my nerves by now, especially when he stabs the meat to get it off the platter , instead of just picking it up with the fork, he stabs it, with a quick stab .  I can hardly wait until he leaves for Texas Oct. 5th.


Makes you wonder if table manners were ever taught at his home doesn't it?
Hang in there it could be worse. I had company once who used the serving spoon to taste the peas before spooning half the bowl full onto his plate!!! Kind of made me want to gag...
kadesma


----------



## LadyCook61

kadesma said:


> Makes you wonder if table manners were ever taught at his home doesn't it?
> Hang in there it could be worse. I had company once who used the serving spoon to taste the peas before spooning half the bowl full onto his plate!!! Kind of made me want to gag...
> kadesma


 
This guy even licked the plate one time .


----------



## kadesma

LadyCook61 said:


> This guy even licked the plate one time .


YUK, that plate would grace the garbage pail
kades


----------



## LPBeier

LadyCook61 said:


> Nothing major, just annoyed that hubby and his friend put salt and pepper on the mashed potatoes before even trying it out and hubby's friend put gobs of butter on it !    I flavored it already.  The man is really getting on my nerves by now, especially when he stabs the meat to get it off the platter , instead of just picking it up with the fork, he stabs it, with a quick stab .  I can hardly wait until he leaves for Texas Oct. 5th.



I feel for you LC.

One of our borders used to POUR salt all over his food without taking a single bite.  I once said that I seasoned the food well while cooking and he should at least give it a try.  He took the most minuscule bite before picking up the salt shaker and dowsing everything as usual.  I would fill the salt shaker weekly.  Now this is the same border who told us in the beginning he ate everything (which really translated to very plain meat and potatoes only) except he had to watch his salt content.  Yeah, right!

Do what we did in one of the restaurants I cooked in.  Salt and pepper was not on the table - you had to ask for it and when you did you were given it but told that the food was seasoned well in the kitchen.


----------



## babetoo

good plan. i am venting at the "handy man from hell"  he cleaned house . today in straightening things up , i find many thinks undone. all my furniture is white and washable. the coffee table appeared not to have been done at all.

i have an old pitcher and bowl. it hasn't been cleaned in forever i think. he missed completely the glass on a wicker basket i have. so i am ticked and rightly so. guess i just saw the over all and not the details


----------



## LPBeier

babetoo said:


> good plan. i am venting at the "handy man from hell"  he cleaned house . today in straightening things up , i find many thinks undone. all my furniture is white and washable. the coffee table appeared not to have been done at all.
> 
> i have an old pitcher and bowl. it hasn't been cleaned in forever i think. he missed completely the glass on a wicker basket i have. so i am ticked and rightly so. guess i just saw the over all and not the details



Babe, is this the same handyman who has been driving you crazy for as long as I have "known" you?  You need to give him the boot or at least an ultimatum that he shapes up or ships out!  

My Dad had a cleaning lady who bulldozed her way through his suite.  She broke a printer, one of my Mom's prized vases (that my sister was supposed to get) and I can't remember what all.  Some days the place was spotless and others it was worse than before she arrived.  Dad would hide everything before she would come and then put it all back when she left - he did more than the cleaning and it was too much for him.  We finally convinced him to get rid of her and got someone knew.  She was great and even helped out when we moved Dad here and sold the place.


----------



## babetoo

LPBeier said:


> Babe, is this the same handyman who has been driving you crazy for as long as I have "known" you? You need to give him the boot or at least an ultimatum that he shapes up or ships out!
> 
> My Dad had a cleaning lady who bulldozed her way through his suite. She broke a printer, one of my Mom's prized vases (that my sister was supposed to get) and I can't remember what all. Some days the place was spotless and others it was worse than before she arrived. Dad would hide everything before she would come and then put it all back when she left - he did more than the cleaning and it was too much for him. We finally convinced him to get rid of her and got someone knew. She was great and even helped out when we moved Dad here and sold the place.


 
i know he is a flake and i enable him to be one. however he does so many things for me (installed a ceiling fan in my bedroom. ) everytime i get mad at him, i swear i will give him the boot.


----------



## kadesma

I am so ticked at myself I could go bay at the moon..Bought some short ribs to make beef soup, got the pot nice and hot and started putting in the meat..Things were going to well and I forgot to turn off the heat til I finished getting the meat going...Went to turn one rib over and kerpow I got it in both eyes and my lips and do they burn..Should look real pretty by tomorrow...When will I learn? Lord only knows..I could kick myself around the block...This blasted soup better taste good or else Anybody want soup?
kades


----------



## LPBeier

Oh Kades, I am so sorry to hear that.  But please don't be so hard on yourself.  You don't know how many times I have burned myself on the oven racks or let oil spit at me when it is too hot and I add food.  It happens.  I just hope it isn't too bad and you feel better soon.


----------



## Barbara L

kadesma said:


> I am so ticked at myself I could go bay at the moon..Bought some short ribs to make beef soup, got the pot nice and hot and started putting in the meat..Things were going to well and I forgot to turn off the heat til I finished getting the meat going...Went to turn one rib over and kerpow I got it in both eyes and my lips and do they burn..Should look real pretty by tomorrow...When will I learn? Lord only knows..I could kick myself around the block...This blasted soup better taste good or else Anybody want soup?
> kades


That hurt just reading it!  

You forgot to turn off the burner.  My problem seems to be (and LP can verify this, lol) forgetting to turn the burner on!  A couple times (I was talking with LP both times) I put something on the stove, and when I went to check on it I hadn't even turned it on!  But at least it is hard to get burned that way.  Maybe you should try cooking with the stove off, like I do!

BTW, Did the soup taste good?  

Barbara


----------



## LPBeier

My Vent?  My MSN is not working.  I am hoping people like Alix and Barbara see this so they don't worry about me.


----------



## LadyCook61

kadesma said:


> I am so ticked at myself I could go bay at the moon..Bought some short ribs to make beef soup, got the pot nice and hot and started putting in the meat..Things were going to well and I forgot to turn off the heat til I finished getting the meat going...Went to turn one rib over and kerpow I got it in both eyes and my lips and do they burn..Should look real pretty by tomorrow...When will I learn? Lord only knows..I could kick myself around the block...This blasted soup better taste good or else Anybody want soup?
> kades


 
Oh kades, I do hope you are okay and that the soup tasted good.


----------



## msmofet

kadesma said:


> I am so ticked at myself I could go bay at the moon..Bought some short ribs to make beef soup, got the pot nice and hot and started putting in the meat..Things were going to well and I forgot to turn off the heat til I finished getting the meat going...Went to turn one rib over and kerpow I got it in both eyes and my lips and do they burn..Should look real pretty by tomorrow...When will I learn? Lord only knows..I could kick myself around the block...This blasted soup better taste good or else Anybody want soup?
> kades


 YOWCHIE!! are you ok now? how was the soup? i want some!! recipe please ................


----------



## kadesma

Hi Guys,
I'm ok..have a small blister on my lip and so I'm fine. The soup turned out great...it was an easy make it up as you go soup. I browned the beef ribs then added several med diced onions, about 4 cloves minced garlic..several boxes of beef stock. Then let it simmer several hours...When I was happy with the taste of the stock,I added just a little white wine and started putting in veggies, carrots,diced,frozen peas, a small box of frozen chopped spinach, half a cabbage shredded, diced potatoes about 5 small,celery diced and some fresh parsley..I added twoard the end some parmesan rinds I had and let it go til soft, then served with nice warm french bread and butter....
kades


----------



## msmofet

kadesma said:


> Hi Guys,
> I'm ok..have a small blister on my lip and so I'm fine. The soup turned out great...it was an easy make it up as you go soup. I browned the beef ribs then added several med diced onions, about 4 cloves minced garlic..several boxes of beef stock. Then let it simmer several hours...When I was happy with the taste of the stock,I added just a little white wine and started putting in veggies, carrots,diced,frozen peas, a small box of frozen chopped spinach, half a cabbage shredded, diced potatoes about 5 small,celery diced and some fresh parsley..I added twoard the end some parmesan rinds I had and let it go til soft, then served with nice warm french bread and butter....
> kades


 sounds like a minestrone soup yummy!! i want some!!


----------



## Barbara L

LPBeier said:


> My Vent?  My MSN is not working.  I am hoping people like Alix and Barbara see this so they don't worry about me.


Thanks for letting us know!

Barbara


----------



## leeniek

I've had all thumbs days with sewing (and I have been sewing for well over 20 years) and I have to say that they do suck.  I have been known to lecture my sewing machine now and then but it always seems to smarten up and behave after a "you will be replaced" kind of chat.

Hope you were able to relax and that your sewing went well after the vent!


----------



## Wyogal

I am astounded that folks seem to want to rip into Mackenzie Phillips for disrupting their family. Wow. What about the abuser?  She survived, and to be questioned, blamed, etc, is unbelievable. people seem to think that just because the "relationship" happened when she was an adult, that it is somehow different. Wrong. Her abuser groomed her for years to be compliant. The word "consensual" has a very different meaning in this context. I support Mackenzie Phillips and her decision to finally end her nightmare by going public. Quite frankly, this week she has appeared more lucid and "with it" than ever before, possibly because she can now hold her head high and shake free of the shame.
And to he*# with her so-called step-mother Michelle. Can't she see the truth? After all, she was a child (16) when she got involved with John... maybe the truth is just too close...


----------



## Wyogal

trolling vendors behaving like regular folks...


----------



## babetoo

i have a tummy ache. i hate being sick. i have much to do and this is not helping. groceries del. tomorrow and need to get rid of leftovers in fridge.


----------



## msmofet

I am so pissed!! I just got a call from my 13 year old daughters principle and when i am calmed down enough to compose my thoughts in a sane manner i will post what happened!!


----------



## msmofet

a boy was saying crude sexual things to my daughter then tried to grab my daughters breast, she managed to elude him and screamed at him and threw her peas off her lunch tray at him, when she got up and walked away he tried to grab her butt!! when she went to tell an aid in the lunch room she was told not to tattle!! so she went to the principle to report it. he didn't call me till after school and when i asked what was going to be done about this sexual harassment he said he couldn't talk to me about it or give me the kids name!! that is just wrong because as the parent of the minor child being harassed i am entitled to know everything. i am thinking of going to the police an file a complaint. if i wasn't involved i would understand the confidentiality thing.

when i tried to ask some more questions he said it was late and he didn't want to debate. i didn't like his tone at all and the sense that he just wanted to go home because it was late!! to freaking bad buddy i pay his salary his is paid to talk to me when there is a serious problem like this!! in my eyes this is serious. do you think so?
i have a right to be livid!!


----------



## Wyogal

Yes, you have the right to be livid. You also have the right to report it to the police. make sure you have written everything down (like you did here), and tell your daughter to write everything down as well.  Then, take your documents into the school in the morning and demand action.  They MUST do something about it. It's called sexual harassment and is recognized as such by federal law. period.  If anything else is said or done, have your daughter DOCUMENT, tell you , and YOU also document the behaviors as told to you by your daughter.


----------



## Wyogal

and it's NOT a debate.
I just took a test today to become a sub (yes, even after a master's and working in the district) but, one of the questions addresses this. In the case where a teacher suspects abuse of any kind, the teacher is to report their suspicions to law enforcement. again, federal law. Not the principal, but the police.


----------



## kadesma

You have every right..You need to have your daughter find out who saw this exchange, she needs to write it down,Don't let anger overtake you. It won't help her at all. it just frightens. Let her see that you care but that you won't go over board. Your principal sounds like he is afraid to become involved that he doesn't know just how to handle this. I would go to the police, be calm let them know you are angry but want things to stay calm for the kids sake. Find out your options..It is impossible to deal with someone who refuses to see your side some men stick with men no matter what, same for wormen..What needs to be worked for is the children and good sex education needs to be taught.Our children are our future, take care of all of them.
kadesma


----------



## LadyCook61

I woke up to broken glass in the kitchen this morning ! Apparently one or more of my cats knocked the custard bowls off the counter. You'd think hubby would hear that crash ( I can't hear it since I am deaf) and come downstairs to clean up the mess!  Thank God none of the cats got cut !


----------



## Bilby

Presumably the principal doesn't want the bad publicity so is hoping it will all just fade away.  But you should report it further.  As Wyogal said it is a must do for the police to be notified but presumably you can also take it to the School Board and/or the Education Department or whatever the equivalent is in the US.  While the actions of the child need to be officially investigated, so too do the actions of the principal and the aide. I don't have kids but I know I wouldn't want either of them being "in loco parentis" for them if I did.  Dual action required.


----------



## Bilby

LadyCook61 said:


> I woke up to broken glass in the kitchen this morning ! Apparently one or more of my cats knocked the custard bowls off the counter. You'd think hubby would hear that crash ( I can't hear it since I am deaf) and come downstairs to clean up the mess! Thank God none of the cats got cut !


 Very lucky indeed!  I always endeavour to be so careful with fragile or sharp items cos I have so many cats.  My house is almost toddler proof because of them!! Even in the drainer, I have to bury the sharp knives just in case.

Isn't your hubby just continuing to suffer from domestic deafness??


----------



## LadyCook61

Bilby said:


> Very lucky indeed! I always endeavour to be so careful with fragile or sharp items cos I have so many cats. My house is almost toddler proof because of them!! Even in the drainer, I have to bury the sharp knives just in case.
> 
> Isn't your hubby just continuing to suffer from domestic deafness??


 
Sure seems that way, I call it selective hearing .    I thought my house was toddler proof too but apparently , whoever knocked down the bowls managed to squeeze in the small space, so no more leaving glass around before going to bed.


----------



## Wyogal

I think I broke a toe yesterday... it is swollen, and really nasty looking


----------



## Bilby

I know, it is such a pain!!  I have to make sure that the counters are empty or that everything is pushed against the wall before I go to bed.  If I have nodded off though and it is 2am or some such time, I am so tempted to just ignore it but then I think I don't really want to drive the 30mins to the emergency vet and pay a couple of hundred bucks because the cat knocked the knife which stabbed its sibling in the eye...  It's easier to clear the counter!! LOL


----------



## Bilby

Wyogal said:


> I think I broke a toe yesterday... it is swollen, and really nasty looking


Can you wiggle it?


----------



## JoAnn L.

Wyogal said:


> I think I broke a toe yesterday... it is swollen, and really nasty looking


 
I broke my little toe and it only hurt when I stepped on it, (weird). I was off of work for two weeks. They gave me a shoe to wear with a wooden sole.


----------



## Wyogal

Can't really wiggle it, and it hurts when I try. But, not much to do about it. It's my "ring" toe, so the other toes will take the brunt of the work when I am on it.
I guess I can't clean the kitchen...


----------



## chefkathleen

I'd like to know what happened with Msmofets daughter. After speaking to the principal I would call the police immediately so you leave a paper trail in case this ever happens with this boy again. If he's allowed to get away with it this time, he'll always think that he can and perhaps his behavior will escalate into something more aggressive towards females. 
The principal needs to take manditory sexual harassment classes so he knows the meaning of it.  This goes way beyond the playground smacking little boys do to show girls that they like them. Grabbing genitals is not amusing to a correct thing to do. 
ok, rant over. sorry.


----------



## LadyCook61

Bilby said:


> I know, it is such a pain!! I have to make sure that the counters are empty or that everything is pushed against the wall before I go to bed. If I have nodded off though and it is 2am or some such time, I am so tempted to just ignore it but then I think I don't really want to drive the 30mins to the emergency vet and pay a couple of hundred bucks because the cat knocked the knife which stabbed its sibling in the eye... It's easier to clear the counter!! LOL


 
I never leave utensils out ,  I'm always telling hubby to throw his used toothpicks in the garbage, he leaves them laying around.


----------



## msmofet

Bilby said:


> Presumably the principal doesn't want the bad publicity so is hoping it will all just fade away. But you should report it further. As Wyogal said it is a must do for the police to be notified but presumably you can also take it to the School Board and/or the Education Department or whatever the equivalent is in the US. While the actions of the child need to be officially investigated, so too do the actions of the principal and the aide. I don't have kids but I know I wouldn't want either of them being "in loco parentis" for them if I did. Dual action required.


 


chefkathleen said:


> I'd like to know what happened with Msmofets daughter. After speaking to the principal I would call the police immediately so you leave a paper trail in case this ever happens with this boy again. If he's allowed to get away with it this time, he'll always think that he can and perhaps his behavior will escalate into something more aggressive towards females.
> The principal needs to take manditory sexual harassment classes so he knows the meaning of it. This goes way beyond the playground smacking little boys do to show girls that they like them. Grabbing genitals is not amusing to a correct thing to do.
> ok, rant over. sorry.


thank you for caring everyone. i have calmed down slightly and here is an update.

ok heres whats going on at the moment. YES i know his name that was never the problem. i wanted to know if there was a report filed at school and what actions were being taken. the law is because of the minors i can't be told anything specific about what actions are being taken. i was told this by the police. it is to protect all minors including my daughter those records are sealed. i am going to see how things go and then take it from there. 

oh btw i live in such a small town that we don't have a post office or library and only 1 school so the principal IS the superintendent of schools.

my daughter eluded him so he never actually got the chance to touch her due to her quick reflexes (and crude comments are not uncommon at that age). but the intent was there and that is just as bad as if the action was followed through. if he had actually touched her than the situtation would be slightly different and i would have filed charges of sexual assault on the spot. also if my daughter is EVER told in the future not to tattle by an aid again i will take action against the aid. you see the fact that he NEVER actually touched her seems to make some people take it more lightly. (THAT also bothers me big time) but the intent was there and he would have if not for my daughter reacting quickly. i will see how the school deals with this and take it from there.

so it is on record with the police, when i call the sergent took her name and age, my name and the boys name. so there is a trail on record from my calling the police within an hour of talking to my daughter and the principal.

thanks for caring and asking. i actually just needed to vent/scream it out loud!!


----------



## Dixie_Amazon

I went to an Alice Cooper concert Friday night and had a blast, but one thing really blew my mind. There was a couple in the fourth row there with their two kids that were about 4 and 6. Concert material aside exposing those young ears to the volume of a rock concert made me cringe.


----------



## Chile Chef

BIG RANT!



What is freaking disocvory channel doing now?

I turn it and they're showing a show that's been on the sci fi channel for years! but with a different name and different people "rude people to boot"

        I mean what the heck? Who do they think they are putting a show on called Ghost lab? My first impression of the show "It blows chunks to kingdom ***". And has no place on the discovery channel. 

Anyways I still think Ghost hunters was top dog show until they fired Brian from the show. And then the show went down hill from there.


----------



## Wyogal

My foot hurts. It started to hurt badly last year while in cooking school. I've not been on my feet as much, but today it really hurts. Last year I had $4000 of dr. bills for it, not really finding out anything other than osteopenia and a bit of arthritis. Insurance covered some of it, but we are still making payments on those bills. I'm going to hopefully start working in a week or so, as a substitute teacher. I have an interview on Monday. If I can do that, we can get back into some regular health-care practices. husband needs new glasses, I should probably have my feet looked at, we need new flooring, kids could use some $$ help, etc....
For today, I'm going to put my feet up, stay off them, take some anti-inflammatory, drink some water...


----------



## macawranch

Ordered parts for my spreader on friday.  Came in on monday with signature required.
Monday night signed and left ups slip for deliver next day.
Tuesday driver left another slip now saying required signature in presence of driver
wednesday met driver and got parts 4:00 PM
Not enough time to repair before dark, and wind blowing 50 mph
Thursday started raining and hasn't stopped yet. 6 straight days.


----------



## JoZee

msmofet said:


> a boy was saying crude sexual things to my daughter then tried to grab my daughters breast, she managed to elude him and screamed at him and threw her peas off her lunch tray at him, when she got up and walked away he tried to grab her butt!! when she went to tell an aid in the lunch room she was told not to tattle!! so she went to the principle to report it. he didn't call me till after school and when i asked what was going to be done about this sexual harassment he said he couldn't talk to me about it or give me the kids name!! that is just wrong because as the parent of the minor child being harassed i am entitled to know everything. i am thinking of going to the police an file a complaint. if i wasn't involved i would understand the confidentiality thing.
> 
> when i tried to ask some more questions he said it was late and he didn't want to debate. i didn't like his tone at all and the sense that he just wanted to go home because it was late!! to freaking bad buddy i pay his salary his is paid to talk to me when there is a serious problem like this!! in my eyes this is serious. do you think so?
> i have a right to be livid!!



What about taking it to the papers/tv who ever will listen if the school won't?  Sometimes that's what it takes, you have to embarrass the people who are supposed to "care" into taking action. Just a suggestion.


----------



## JoZee

msmofet said:


> thank you for caring everyone. i have calmed down slightly and here is an update.
> 
> ok heres whats going on at the moment. YES i know his name that was never the problem. i wanted to know if there was a report filed at school and what actions were being taken. the law is because of the minors i can't be told anything specific about what actions are being taken. i was told this by the police. it is to protect all minors including my daughter those records are sealed. i am going to see how things go and then take it from there.
> 
> oh btw i live in such a small town that we don't have a post office or library and only 1 school so the principal IS the superintendent of schools.
> 
> my daughter eluded him so he never actually got the chance to touch her due to her quick reflexes (and crude comments are not uncommon at that age). but the intent was there and that is just as bad as if the action was followed through. if he had actually touched her than the situtation would be slightly different and i would have filed charges of sexual assault on the spot. also if my daughter is EVER told in the future not to tattle by an aid again i will take action against the aid. you see the fact that he NEVER actually touched her seems to make some people take it more lightly. (THAT also bothers me big time) but the intent was there and he would have if not for my daughter reacting quickly. i will see how the school deals with this and take it from there.
> 
> so it is on record with the police, when i call the sergent took her name and age, my name and the boys name. so there is a trail on record from my calling the police within an hour of talking to my daughter and the principal.
> 
> thanks for caring and asking. i actually just needed to vent/scream it out loud!!



I'm glad that you were able to work this thing out ok and you now have this on record.  Boys need to be taught that this sort of behavior is "wrong" no matter who it is directed toward.  I think this kids' parents need to sit him down and teach him about R-E-S-P-E-C-T!!


----------



## msmofet

JoZee said:


> I'm glad that you were able to work this thing out ok and you now have this on record. Boys need to be taught that this sort of behavior is "wrong" no matter who it is directed toward. I think this kids' parents need to sit him down and teach him about R-E-S-P-E-C-T!!


 thank you for caring sweetie.


----------



## JoZee

*Glad things worked out*



msmofet said:


> thank you for caring sweetie.



You're very welcome.  I find that type of behavior unacceptable.  I'm glad things worked out


----------



## Wyogal

So, in the news: low test scores. At what point do we look into the eyes of the public and say "We expect more from you. We expect that your children will behave and do their homework?"  The plates of teachers and schools are full. There has been a shift of expecting students to do the work to an expectation of teachers and schools to entertain the students, and hand out grades. Throwing money at schools is not the answer. EXPECTING students to earn their grades through hard work is what is called for. Maybe they need to be less involved with organized after school activities, be allowed to play on their own, then come in , sit at the table and DO THE WORK. I find it interesting that schools that require parental involvement, that require homework, and have consequences for not doing it, for inappropriate behaviors, are the schools that have higher test scores.
go figure.


----------



## LadyCook61

My car will not shift out of park and no brake lights.  hubby is waiting for either my son or my brother in law to help check it out.  Meanwhile I hestitate to travel with no brake lights.  The only way to get the car to shift out of park , is to turn key on but not start the car, shift to neutral then start car.  arrrgh !


----------



## Wyogal

I would not be driving it in the current condition. Will it take being rear-ended (because the person behind you doesn't see that you are braking) in order for it to be fixed?


----------



## chefkathleen

Wyogal said:


> So, in the news: low test scores. At what point do we look into the eyes of the public and say "We expect more from you. We expect that your children will behave and do their homework?" The plates of teachers and schools are full. There has been a shift of expecting students to do the work to an expectation of teachers and schools to entertain the students, and hand out grades. Throwing money at schools is not the answer. EXPECTING students to earn their grades through hard work is what is called for. Maybe they need to be less involved with organized after school activities, be allowed to play on their own, then come in , sit at the table and DO THE WORK. I find it interesting that schools that require parental involvement, that require homework, and have consequences for not doing it, for inappropriate behaviors, are the schools that have higher test scores.
> go figure.


 
I have ranted about this for years. No one listens and if they "hear" you nothing gets done. People are so hung up on-being PC and not hurting any feelings that our children in the long run are going to suffer because they will be stupid.
 The FCAT tests are a good place to start. The tests are in the basics that the kids should know for their grade level. They're taken throughout the child's school years. Last year a senior here in my county took it and failed, therefore was not allowed to graduate. He was allowed a certificate of completion but, not a diploma. His father wrote a letter to the editor complaining that now med school was on hold for him.
Personally, I don't want a doctor that can't read or do basic math.

What the H*** is going on with our country that the kids can't read, write or do the basics but can sure play sports???


----------



## Wyogal

When I was teaching music, I had very high standards. We were constantly being told by the administration to raise the bar, have high expectations. We were told to incorporate reading and writing in all classes. But then, behind closed doors, they told me to lighten up, make it fun, my expectations were too high. I sat in on many meetings where the parents whine and complain about the work being too hard (other subject areas) and teachers were "picking" on their kids, because we expected them to not be disruptive and to do the work. Most of the time, the administration caved to the parent and their "right" to have ornery, ignorant children. and teachers were told to ease up.
I quit.
I may be going back as a sub, but then, I'll be working for teachers and kids, not the principals. I can also pick and choose which school/classes to go to.


----------



## chefkathleen

Wyogal said:


> When I was teaching music, I had very high standards. We were constantly being told by the administration to raise the bar, have high expectations. We were told to incorporate reading and writing in all classes. But then, behind closed doors, they told me to lighten up, make it fun, my expectations were too high. I sat in on many meetings where the parents whine and complain about the work being too hard (other subject areas) and teachers were "picking" on their kids, because we expected them to not be disruptive and to do the work. Most of the time, the administration caved to the parent and their "right" to have ornery, ignorant children. and teachers were told to ease up.
> I quit.
> I may be going back as a sub, but then, I'll be working for teachers and kids, not the principals. I can also pick and choose which school/classes to go to.


 
 I admire you for trying but, feel sorry for you  at the same time. 
Why is it that the parents will settle for less instead of wanting the best for their children? Mine would have said "yes! Pick on her until she gets it!"
Who wants a dumb kid?


----------



## babetoo

got my hair cut. there is a von's market so went to pick up a few things. i almost froze my buns off . it was so cold in there that my hands were like ice by the time i got out. i might have stayed longer and spent more if it had not been so cold. when i commented on it, the clerk just rolled her eyes.  won't go there again.


----------



## msmofet

my cd/dvd drive is shot (it keeps popping open even with no disc in there. and when i put in a disc to install software it keeps popping open) so i have to send my laptop to texas to be fixed.  i probably will not get it back for 3 - 4 weeks!! first my oven then my car. i think the electric coming into my house is lower than it should be because my appliances don't seem to have enough power and now my puter!! jeeeeeeeeeeeeeez i am gonna hide in a cave!! not sure how often i will be online till i get my laptop back. may not be able to post pics either till i get the laptop back. i need to find a shipping box, bubble wrap and tape (should i go to the post office for them?) so i can ship it tomorrow. maybe i'll get it back by thanksgiving.  maybe


----------



## JoZee

msmofet said:


> my cd/dvd drive is shot (it keeps popping open even with no disc in there. and when i put in a disc to install software it keeps popping open) so i have to send my laptop to texas to be fixed.  i probably will not get it back for 3 - 4 weeks!! first my oven then my car. i think the electric coming into my house is lower than it should be because my appliances don't seem to have enough power and now my puter!! jeeeeeeeeeeeeeez i am gonna hide in a cave!! not sure how often i will be online till i get my laptop back. may not be able to post pics either till i get the laptop back. i need to find a shipping box, bubble wrap and tape (should i go to the post office for them?) so i can ship it tomorrow. maybe i'll get it back by thanksgiving.  maybe



I'm so sorry msmofet, this is a definite case of it doesn't rain it pours! There must be something besides the flu going around... my fridge went a few weeks back.  It was a Maytag and only 7 years old.  It was one of those with the freezer in the bottom, not a cheap one by any means.  I now have a good used one, at least it works.  I had my wall stove replaced last week, the old one didn't heat up worth a dang.  The one I have is a used one, but it works.  Then....my daughter has pneumonia and is very sick.  A few weeks ago my dad ended up in the hospital with "they don't know what happened to him" symptoms.  I hear you sometimes things just seem to go wrong.  Let's hope things get better for both of us.  I think we are due!!!


----------



## msmofet

JoZee said:


> I'm so sorry msmofet, this is a definite case of it doesn't rain it pours! There must be something besides the flu going around... my fridge went a few weeks back. It was a Maytag and only 7 years old. It was one of those with the freezer in the bottom, not a cheap one by any means. I now have a good used one, at least it works. I had my wall stove replaced last week, the old one didn't heat up worth a dang. The one I have is a used one, but it works. Then....my daughter has pneumonia and is very sick. A few weeks ago my dad ended up in the hospital with "they don't know what happened to him" symptoms. I hear you sometimes things just seem to go wrong. Let's hope things get better for both of us. I think we are due!!!


 oh my i am so sorry about your dad and daughter. i hope they get better soon.

thank you for the kind words. this laptop is just over 2 years old. arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgg

i hope your luck changes also. maybe we need some horseshoes and rabbits feet?


----------



## CharlieD

I might be guilty of the fallowing my self, though I do not remember, but I just love when somebody comes and asks for advise on a particular recipe/dish and people come and tell that person to make something completely diferent.


----------



## JoZee

msmofet said:


> oh my i am so sorry about your dad and daughter. i hope they get better soon.
> 
> thank you for the kind words. this laptop is just over 2 years old. arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgg
> 
> i hope your luck changes also. maybe we need some horseshoes and rabbits feet?



Thank you msmofet, I am sure they will recover in time.  
Oh my that's not very old for the laptop, gosh they surely don't make things to last do they?  I think horse shoes and rabbit feet and some shamrocks are definitely in order.  

​


----------



## PrincessFiona60

Last weekend I had the flu (type A, not Swine) and missed a week of work.  Thank goodness for "Paid Time Off."  On monday DH was exhibiting my symptoms, but I was feeling pretty good.  Now I had taken this weekend off for a staycation, goofing off and getting some deep cleaning done around the house.  This morning I woke up in misery, the MD at the clinic says I have walking pneumonia and put me on antibiotics.  My luck, I'll start feeling better in time to go back to work on Friday...so much for goofing off.


----------



## msmofet

PrincessFiona60 said:


> Last weekend I had the flu (type A, not Swine) and missed a week of work. Thank goodness for "Paid Time Off." On monday DH was exhibiting my symptoms, but I was feeling pretty good. Now I had taken this weekend off for a staycation, goofing off and getting some deep cleaning done around the house. This morning I woke up in misery, the MD at the clinic says I have walking pneumonia and put me on antibiotics. My luck, I'll start feeling better in time to go back to work on Friday...so much for goofing off.


 i hope you get well quick!!


----------



## msmofet

BANKS STINK!! I HATE MY BANK!! THEY MESSED WITH ME!!



and thats all i am going to say or i will rev myself up again. 

thank you for reading.


----------



## JoZee

I have a cold, hubby brought it home from work, I told him next time leave it there!


----------



## PrincessFiona60

msmofet said:


> i hope you get well quick!!


 
Thanks so much, it's amazing what one day of antibiotics will do for your outlook.  Today I can breathe without hurting or coughing myself to death.


----------



## chefkathleen

msmofet said:


> BANKS STINK!! I HATE MY BANK!! THEY MESSED WITH ME!!
> 
> 
> 
> and thats all i am going to say or i will rev myself up again.
> 
> thank you for reading.


 

My ex MIL used to work for one. She said to always remember, they are never wrong. In their eyes.


----------



## PrincessFiona60

chefkathleen said:


> My ex MIL used to work for one. She said to always remember, they are never wrong. In their eyes.


 
I had a good experience at the bank the other day, after they gave me a heart attack of course...upshot, they paid out on an electronic withdrawal that should not have been paid (I had a stop payment on it) and they took full responsibility, wiping out all transaction fees and putting the money back in my account.  Sometimes the little guy wins.


----------



## Chile Chef

[Movie Monster Rant mode on]

You guys know when the movies first came out in black & white then they colorized the movies? You know how the vampires Actually couldn't go out in the sun because it would harm them or kill them? Werewolf's could only change during the full moon? And you had to be bitten by either creature you can contract the desise? ( by movie lore any hoo )

Well I hate what they've done with  the beloved movie monsters, First the creator of blade gave the vampires the ability to walk out in the sun for some time. Then they would have to drink or get a serum shot. And the people at the STUPID twilight are making the vampires people friendly by letting them walk and do everything in the day light with out a serum or drink. And the people at the twlight series RUINING the werewolf monster by letting them change anytime with out or with out the moon. 

[Movie Monster Rant mode off]


----------



## PrincessFiona60

Chile Chef said:


> [Movie Monster Rant mode on]
> 
> You guys know when the movies first came out in black & white then they colorized the movies? You know how the vampires Actually couldn't go out in the sun because it would harm them or kill them? Werewolf's could only change during the full moon? And you had to be bitten by either creature you can contract the desise? ( by movie lore any hoo )
> 
> Well I hate what they've done with the beloved movie monsters, First the creator of blade gave the vampires the ability to walk out in the sun for some time. Then they would have to drink or get a serum shot. And the people at the STUPID twilight are making the vampires people friendly by letting them walk and do everything in the day light with out a serum or drink. And the people at the twlight series RUINING the werewolf monster by letting them change anytime with out or with out the moon.
> 
> [Movie Monster Rant mode off]


 
I completely agree.  I tried the Twilight books and they were stupid, not my idea of vampires at all.  I don't mind if aspects are added to legends, but to change the very framework of the creatures themselves is anathema.


----------



## Chile Chef

PrincessFiona60 said:


> I completely agree.  I tried the Twilight books and they were stupid, not my idea of vampires at all.  I don't mind if aspects are added to legends, but to change the very framework of the creatures themselves is anathema.


I completely agree that's why I'm so pissed off at the movie industry, Least with the blade series they actully kept up some of the monster lore.


----------



## PrincessFiona60

I'm still dithering on picking up Dacre Stoker's sequel to his great uncle Bram's Dracula. In the end I'll probably get it just to see what he has to say.  I'm a sucker for monster stories.


----------



## Chile Chef

PrincessFiona60 said:


> I'm still dithering on picking up Dacre Stoker's sequel to his great uncle Bram's Dracula. In the end I'll probably get it just to see what he has to say.  I'm a sucker for monster stories.


I would really like to see that but I'm affraid I'll be disappointing in the movie. It's probably going to be all 3d, and not a lot of real actors/actresses.


----------



## Wyogal

Dracula the Un-Dead


----------



## PrincessFiona60

Chile Chef said:


> I would really like to see that but I'm affraid I'll be disappointing in the movie. It's probably going to be all 3d, and not a lot of real actors/actresses.


 
They are making a movie already???  I have only seen the book in the stores for about a month.  I'm sure the movie will stink, they usually do.  Of course there are rare exceptions to this.  But, I really hate to see a movie that messes with the book.


----------



## chefkathleen

I totally agree with you guys. I've always loved the vampire and werewolves movies. Now to see them out in daylight and looking like emo teenagers, mating and HAVING BABIES?? That's more than I can handle. Bela and Boris are turning over in their graves.


----------



## kadesma

While I agree partially with all of you.  Where would the story go after what we already know? They walk by night,sleep by day,. How many times do we have to read this before it becomes so old we know it by heart.Wouldn't that just push us to find another   venue to keep us interested about what will happen next?
 Do you suppose the writers are trying to give us something new to make our blood tingle?  

kadesma


----------



## chefkathleen

I'm curious to know what happened to the website yesterday. I came on and it said it was down do to hackers. Anyone have the 411?


----------



## babetoo

went shopping yesterday. Evey where we went, kids with runny noses and coughs and sneezing. don't these mom's have a clue. keep your sick child at home. not good for kid, should be sleeping , having soup etc. 

make me just a bit angry. we went in one store, and took baby lilly in with us. usually i stay in car with lilly. i soon sent granddaughter back to the car with lilly. didn't want to expose her to what ever these kids have

be responsible and don't spread germs, it's flue time.


----------



## babetoo

chefkathleen said:


> I'm curious to know what happened to the website yesterday. I came on and it said it was down do to hackers. Anyone have the 411?


 
me too


----------



## JoZee

Chile Chef said:


> [Movie Monster Rant mode on]
> 
> You guys know when the movies first came out in black & white then they colorized the movies? You know how the vampires Actually couldn't go out in the sun because it would harm them or kill them? Werewolf's could only change during the full moon? And you had to be bitten by either creature you can contract the desise? ( by movie lore any hoo )
> 
> Well I hate what they've done with  the beloved movie monsters, First the creator of blade gave the vampires the ability to walk out in the sun for some time. Then they would have to drink or get a serum shot. And the people at the STUPID twilight are making the vampires people friendly by letting them walk and do everything in the day light with out a serum or drink. And the people at the twlight series RUINING the werewolf monster by letting them change anytime with out or with out the moon.
> 
> [Movie Monster Rant mode off]



I know what you mean, I love good horror movies and you don't monkey with perfection.  Christopher Lee was the Dracula I grew up with, he turned into a bat, couldn't stand the sun and was scared of crosses, my kind of Vampire!


----------



## Chile Chef

kadesma said:


> While I agree partially with all of you.  Where would the story go after what we already know? They walk by night,sleep by day,. How many times do we have to read this before it becomes so old we know it by heart.Wouldn't that just push us to find another   venue to keep us interested about what will happen next?
> Do you suppose the writers are trying to give us something new to make our blood tingle?
> 
> kadesma


I can see where you are coming from Kads, but if they want to make my blood tingle as you dilligently put it, I would say don't fix something that's not broken, and at least make the back ground & 3d actors better. Because all the movie monsters seems to be turning  back into teenagers again. That's not good.

Now look at Teen wolf with Michael J fox,  It was an ok movie but the background and the actors were natural and blended well. 

Yeah the customs may been crappy but least everything fit together. 


Anyways rant done. 



By the way to everyone who is wondering why the site was done, It got hacked and some kid uploaded a virus that hurt the server, So they took the server ( site ) offline while they assessed the damage.


----------



## Wyogal

down?
yeah, read the post about it. nothing new.


----------



## Saphellae

I enjoy the Twilight series. A book or movie doesn't have to follow tradition.  It's not meant to be an old fashioned vampire movie.  The writer thought outside the box - that's what makes a great book/movie, no matter what kind it is.


----------



## chefkathleen

> By the way to everyone who is wondering why the site was done, It got hacked and some kid uploaded a virus that hurt the server, So they took the server ( site ) offline while they assessed the damage.


What an [edited]. Why would someone do that? Nothing to gain here. No CC #'s or personal info.


----------



## Wyogal

not a fan of Twilight here, I like Anne Rice's take on the vampiric lore.


----------



## chefkathleen

> not a fan of Twilight here, I like Anne Rice's take on the vampiric lore.


 
Me either. Not fond of teenage vamps.


----------



## Chile Chef

chefkathleen said:


> What an [edited]. Why would someone do that? Nothing to gain here. No CC #'s or personal info.


Probably some kid home from school with H1n1 and  he/she needed something to do. 


I hoped they checked out the p2p port connection's and sealed up the back door.


----------



## PrincessFiona60

babetoo said:


> went shopping yesterday. Evey where we went, kids with runny noses and coughs and sneezing. don't these mom's have a clue. keep your sick child at home. not good for kid, should be sleeping , having soup etc.
> 
> make me just a bit angry. we went in one store, and took baby lilly in with us. usually i stay in car with lilly. i soon sent granddaughter back to the car with lilly. didn't want to expose her to what ever these kids have
> 
> be responsible and don't spread germs, it's flue time.


 
Same thing with any kid that has to be kept home from school.  Flu, chicken pox, etc.  These kids should be at home recuperating not out shopping with their parents.


----------



## JoZee

I am now enjoying the Vampire Diaries, and Supernatural.  I love that they are on one right after the other, so I get horror fix on Thursday evenings.


----------



## Wyogal

Favoritism on the boards, that's my vent. Thought I'd get it out before I end up leaving this place.


----------



## chefkathleen

Wyogal said:


> Favoritism on the boards, that's my vent. Thought I'd get it out before I end up leaving this place.


 
Wanna talk about it? I haven't been around much to see what's going on lately.


----------



## Wyogal

I just got a little worked up over nothing, just that I see some folks like to be THE authority on everything and no one can disagree.


----------



## chefkathleen

But, there's more than one way to skin a cat. Eh? So not any one way is always right.


----------



## babetoo

venting about people that can't make a decision. i used to cook the whole thanksgiving menu by myself . last year i bowed out. i am to old for all that work. in an case here we are the the younger set (50 being the oldest) can't decide what to do, dinner here, or a sat buffet. dinner on the day , my favorite. just decide already. tell me what to bring and get on it. another thing , they seem to buy a lot of ready made desserts.


----------



## Wyogal

I hear ya... I have a brother-in-law that can't make a decision about anything, although he serves on boards, has an important job, etc... Drives us nuts, too.


----------



## PrincessFiona60

babetoo said:


> ...they seem to buy a lot of ready made desserts.


  No kidding, I decided a number of years ago I was not going to make another pie for a family dinner, I wanted to try my hand at other things.  I even offered to show those interested how to make the pie crust that they loved.  No takers and now, whoever just brings a store pie for dessert.  I've stuck to my guns and every year I change things up a bit, serving something old and new, knocking the socks off everyone.  This year will be a Mediterranean style meal and the apartment smells heavenly.


----------



## JoZee

Oh boy does this sound familiar.  I stopped making the Holiday Meals for everyone and guess what no one else wanted to do it after I quit!  I didn't know what to think after since I never got invited to anyone elses after all the work I put into the many meals and didn't get much help doing them either.  I can only chalk it all up to laziness on the part of everyone else.  Oh well too bad for them, I'm still enjoying a great meal with just me and hubby.  To me this is pretty sad!


----------



## JoAnn L.

My vent for the day.

I just got done making my dip for tomorrow, when I reached up into the cabinet for a glass. The glass must have had a crack in it because it broke in my hand and the broken glass went right into my bowl of dip.


----------



## LPBeier

JoAnn, I feel for you and you have every right to vent.  I once spent many hours making a chicken asparagus lasagna to take to a potluck, only to have it slide out of my hands and land upside down on the ground.  Please don't ask me for the recipe, I threw it away!  LOL  I do feel your pain.


----------



## JoAnn L.

LPBeier said:


> JoAnn, I feel for you and you have every right to vent. I once spent many hours making a chicken asparagus lasagna to take to a potluck, only to have it slide out of my hands and land upside down on the ground. Please don't ask me for the recipe, I threw it away! LOL I do feel your pain.


 
Thanks. I don't know how long I just stood there. I just couldn't believe my eyes. Thank goodness I had enough ingredients leftover to make another bowl. I guess I should be grateful that I didn't get cut.


----------



## Wyogal

I get really irritated when folks have self-induced problems, broadcast them, then get upset with criticism. sheesh. if they don't want criticism, then don't don't air your dirty laundry in full view. Folks will notice and probably say, "Hey, you got some dirty laundry!"


----------



## luvs

unwanted, unexpected guests irk me. especially when they hold a 'holier-than-thou' attitude. ESPECIALLY when they cannot shush. & VERY especially when they whine! later. my babe is here!


----------



## Wyogal

Trying to shush somebody up?
public forums are public forums
have a good one... or two... or three...


----------



## luvs

nope, just speaking of a now non-pal from facebook who took attitude with my girl last nite.. why?
& you got it wrong. try 15. tis the season!


----------



## kadesma

luvs said:


> nope, just speaking of a now non-pal from facebook who took attitude with my girl last nite.. why?
> & you got it wrong. try 15. tis the season!


luvs, I learned long ago too, say no and knock it off..I don't let anyone get to me. If they do, I just keep quiet and ignore it.Don't let em bug  ya

kades


----------



## kadesma

Wyogal said:


> I get really irritated when folks have self-induced problems, broadcast them, then get upset with criticism. sheesh. if they don't want criticism, then don't don't air your dirty laundry in full view. Folks will notice and probably say, "Hey, you got some dirty laundry!"


There are times it bothers me when someone is hurting and won't respond to offers of help.I try not to criticise  I could be in worse shape and need to just vent...They are not asking for our opinions really or how we would handle the situation. They just need  someone to quietly listen, offer a be well and take care.....If we can't do that, in my case, I just read the post and not say anything. Believe me it saves a lot of anguish for all of us.
kadesma


----------



## luvs

kadesma said:


> luvs, I learned long ago too, say no and knock it off..I don't let anyone get to me. If they do, I just keep quiet and ignore it.Don't let em bug ya
> 
> kades


kades, i trust your advice, since i adore your dear self, i agree, though i'm with a temper & hafta WORK not to reply to remarks from silly people. even if i knoooooowwwwwwwwwww to ignore them, my temprament oftentakes the lead role. thanks for reading between the lines, luv.


----------



## kadesma

luvs said:


> kades, i trust your advice, since i adore your dear self, i agree, though i'm with a temper & hafta WORK not to reply to remarks from silly people. even if i knoooooowwwwwwwwwww to ignore them, my temprament oftentakes the lead role. thanks for reading between the lines, luv.


Sweetie, you've never seen me when I get really angry,it took hard work to learn to be still but I can do it now and feel happy with myself for learning control. If I can, you can And I know you will.
kades


----------



## luvs

lol, kades, since you're quite the cook, i can just SEE food flung about the room as you shout & stomp.  my, you're a dear. TOO precious.


----------



## LPBeier

I just figured out, at the "Celebration of Life" for a wonderful friend who lost her battle with cancer, that I don't know how to grieve and made it worse for myself for not being able to identify my feelings.  Now I have apologies to make to other good friends and I am feeling guilty, sad and lost.


----------



## luvs

~hugs~


----------



## LPBeier

Thanks, luvs, I appreciate the hugs.


----------



## kadesma

luvs said:


> lol, kades, since you're quite the cook, i can just SEE food flung about the room as you shout & stomp.  my, you're a dear. TOO precious.


luvs, I never stomp, I just throw things..My guys are great at ducking
kades


----------



## kadesma

LPBeier said:


> I just figured out, at the "Celebration of Life" for a wonderful friend who lost her battle with cancer, that I don't know how to grieve and made it worse for myself for not being able to identify my feelings.  Now I have apologies to make to other good friends and I am feeling guilty, sad and lost.


Laurie, how to describe to grieve? Do you find it hard to stay focused on what your doing? Are you restless? Do you say to your self I should have visited more? Why didn't I? Do you suddenly start to cry over a song you hear or cry at a card long forgotten?? To me that is grieving. You grieve with each memory and the longing that comes with old memories.We really can't identify those feeling at first, but they will lessen as time goes on, then you don't feel guilty, you lift your friend up in spirit. She will know..  You would never have to apologize to me nor should you to friends..Your love is a better gift.How lucky we are to call you friend.

hugs, cj


----------



## luvs

i'm ticked at the way jake spends when he could be placing $$ aside for important items! ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! he bought a new flatscreen like maybe a year ago, probably less than, & last wk, bought a helicoptor that flies through the room. he buying another flatscreen & another helicoptor this pay. 
PLUS he gave my tigs chocolate ice cream, now he's snubbing his crunchies & treats. GREAT, my 16.5 pound feline wants ice cream for dinner now!


----------



## luvs

& this is great, too, didn't type 'bout this yet. at dinner, we were discussing re-stocking the new place's kitch, & he was being kinda evasive 'bout throwing in on the $$ for that. so i was like, 'well, i'm not gonna buy this stuff by myself!' & he proceeded to inform me that he already contributed his, since the venison he got was $55!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $55!!!!!!!!!!!!! it'll be at LEAST several hundred to re-stock very very basics, i'm great with my food budget, & he's gotten too aware of that. well, i'm taking myself somewhere great, so mr. moneybags can replinish the kitch with his dagnabbin silly helicoptor/flatscreen dough! by himself! he drinks my ensure & boost, $9 per 6, & the foods i buy that i buy for myself & my health, tonite he zoomed in on my pelligrino. that''ll be the day.......


----------



## Claire

I'd just finished throwing a party when a friend told me her son was coming as a surprise visit for my husband.  So I busted my buns getting the mess cleaned up, got the guest room ready, etc.  They walked into my house and the woman (the friend's child bride, he's in his fifties, she twenty-something) took one look at the guest room, and they left!  Now I have to tell you I have people line up to stay in that room who have a hell of a lot more class than this idiot gal.  Then we went to dinner and the entire group embarrassed me by their rude behavior.  It was easily the worst weekend I've ever had.


----------



## luvs

i'm tired of the internet. toooooo much unwanted advice! if i needed that, i'd write to dear abby. i'm a grown woman. i am more than well aware of ways to get by & know many ways to deal with my stressors. enough is more than enough.


----------



## msmofet

i have not been around any where online for awhile. having some bad times including health issues and some sad times. my girl who is a 4.0 GPA student has to quit college because we just don't have the money for her to continue which means she won't have medical coverage and she also has some health issues. so she will be looking for a job but it will take quite awhile till she has medical coverage.

i am feeling very sad for my girl.


----------



## Alix

Aw msmofet, I'm so sorry! That is just awful all the way around. I'm sure you've explored all the grants, scholarships etc that she could apply for. I'll say a prayer for you. HUGS!


----------



## msmofet

Alix said:


> Aw msmofet, I'm so sorry! That is just awful all the way around. I'm sure you've explored all the grants, scholarships etc that she could apply for. I'll say a prayer for you. HUGS!


 thank you sweetie!! she will finish with an associates degree but i wish she could go onto a BA.


----------



## Alix

If its meant to be she will find the way. Still...that SUCKS.


----------



## luvs

i'm recieving an associate's. an associate's is a diploma.


----------



## msmofet

luvs said:


> i'm recieving an associate's. an associate's is a diploma.


 thats great luvs!! good job!! your a smart cookie sweetie. 


i am very proud of her, i just wish she could go on to a BA.


----------



## kadesma

It's good to see you back with us. Prayers coming your way and also your girl. If she is as smart as I know she is that BA will be hers. She might have to wait a bit, but it will be hers. May her health improve.Yours as well.
kades


----------



## msmofet

kadesma said:


> It's good to see you back with us. Prayers coming your way and also your girl. If she is as smart as I know she is that BA will be hers. She might have to wait a bit, but it will be hers. May her health improve.Yours as well.
> kades


 thank you kades


----------



## LadyCook61

hubby put a plastic dry 1/4 measuring cup in the dishwasher.. and of course the cup fell down thru the racks unknowingly , and the cup melted.. unusable.. I always wash my plastic measuring cups by hand. Now I will have to buy a new set of measuring cups, I don't think anyone sells just a 1/4 cup .
Would you believe he tried to blame me ???  I told him I do not put the measuring cups in the dishwasher.


----------



## kadesma

LadyCook61 said:


> hubby put a plastic dry 1/4 measuring cup in the dishwasher.. and of course the cup fell down thru the racks unknowingly , and the cup melted.. unusable.. I always wash my plastic measuring cups by hand. Now I will have to buy a new set of measuring cups, I don't think anyone sells just a 1/4 cup .
> Would you believe he tried to blame me ???  I told him I do not put the measuring cups in the dishwasher.


LC, I had that happen several times.I finally got metal measuring spoons. DH couldn't wreck those if he tried
kades


----------



## msmofet

all i have to do is feed my dishwasher!! she never gets hot enough to melt anything LOL  i have never had a dishwasher but i do have plastic and SS measure cups and spoons.


----------



## babetoo

my dishwasher has a compartment with a lid. this is for measuring spoons or anything else that might float out . no melted ones ever.


----------

