# Dove's Kitchen Table...we get by with a little help from our friends



## kitchenelf (Feb 1, 2008)

This thread was designed so we could all walk with Dove as she moves forward after the loss of Paul (her husband) and John (her son).

We all need support during difficult times and we just want you to know, Marge, that as we sit at your virtual kitchen table, we come as friends and we are all moving forward with you.

We love you!!


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## amber (Feb 2, 2008)

I'm pulling in to Marge's kitchen table and would love a cup of tea or a decaf coffee along with a chat, and I hope others come along from DC.  I've known Marge through her entire experience with the loss of her husband and son and am here to offer my ear to her.


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## Katie H (Feb 2, 2008)

Hi, Marge!  Buck and I are so happy to be able to sup at your table.  We promise to be good doobies and not cause any misdeeds that would send us to your woodshed.  Don't want to go there.

We love your table and if if it's anything like ours or the one we grew up with, we all hope the table doesn't talk.

Buck and I and all our kitties (Chessie, C.J. Tween, Ashley, Torie, Tigger, Sally, Miss Augie, and Miss Rodeo) all send our love, best wishes and purrs.

Don't let Dove be intimidated by all the kitties.


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## ChefJune (Feb 2, 2008)

What a great thread, Elf!  

Besides, we can share our coffee cake recipes here, too!  When I was a little girl, neighbor ladies would bring coffee cakes over to share, and I grew up just loving those homey goodies.


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## kadesma (Feb 2, 2008)

Hi Marge,
so glad we will have this cozy corner to get together..There is nothing better than a face to face chat with loving friends to sooth our hurts and raise our spirits...To have a friend such as you and our elf is a blessing.
hugs,
kades


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## Buck (Feb 2, 2008)

Hi Marge,

Just want to join in with what Katie said.  We love you and look forward to the journey.  

Be well!
Buck


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## Barbara L (Feb 2, 2008)

What a nice place to relax and share with friends.  Pull up a seat Marge.  I'm here to listen and share along with the others.

Barbara


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## LEFSElover (Feb 2, 2008)

I can almost visualize the warmth, almost as a cozy fireplace aglow, as friends and more friends sit and share fond memories, warm stories, comfort and support. When friends, a kitchen table, good thoughts and sincere expressions come into the meeting place of any home, all who are there will somehow prosper.
Appreciating this deed and planning on supping with kind friends.
Our most tender thoughts are with you here Marge as well as listening ears and big huge shoulders.​


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## licia (Feb 2, 2008)

What a lovely idea!  Marge, I'd say you are going to need a larger table. With so many of us behind you with whatever support we can offer, there will be one of us sitting here quite often.  You have really done well and I hope we see lots more of you here.  Best wishes.


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## buckytom (Feb 2, 2008)

may i join you ladies, and buck?  {{{{{{{marge}}}}}}}

i fondly remember my early childhood mornings. when we moved from brooklyn to joisey, we bought a house down the block from and right next to another one of my mom's sisters. every morning, the three would get together at one of their kitchens for coffee and cake, with the youngest of each in tow.
now, while it was great to play with my cousins (and plot against our respective older siblings), the best part was getting to sip milky, sugary tea and share the various cookies and coffee cakes. i mean, they had worked hard all morning trying to get all of their children off to school and hubbies off to work, so now they were just happy to sit together, enjoy some conversation and shut the remaining few of us up with sweet cakes before the rest of the housework would begin.

so with that in mind, here's some of my mom's norwegian butter cookies for marge. the sweetest you'll ever taste.


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## ChefJune (Feb 2, 2008)

BuckyTom, this homey place (DC in its entirety, and this thread in particular) is not restricted!  Everyone here who loves Marge -- and as far as I've seen, that's pretty much all of us.

So put on the water for tea and pull up a chair!


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## csalt (Feb 2, 2008)

Well if you see a white dove sitting there while you're all having a coffee it'll be the homing pigeion from across the pond bringing good wishes to Dove and to all of you from me.


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## corazon (Feb 2, 2008)

I'm pulling up a chair. 
Just want to say, Marge, we are all with you and that you are an amazing woman! You have our full support and all the hugs you need.


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## buckytom (Feb 2, 2008)

bang!!!

oh geez, i'm sorry csalt. i was tryin' to rustle up something for lunch! i thought you were was a pheasent...


lol, ok, i know. i'm off to the woodshed.


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## Alix (Feb 2, 2008)

Hi Dove, I'm bringing an urn of coffee and a blueberry coffee cake to go with. I think you're going to need it with all these folks coming in to chat and hug.


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## jkath (Feb 2, 2008)

I'm putting another leaf in this table - it's getting rather tight around here!
I've got some lovely good earth tea to share too.


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## Essiebunny (Feb 2, 2008)

I'm on my way with some hot cinnamon rolls. I made a double batch for all the dear friends who will be there.


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## Dove (Feb 2, 2008)

*You are all so wonderful and so welcome in my home anytime.

Thank you Elf for this new sticky page..it brought tears to my eyes to think that you did this for me and anyone else who needs to share...
Love you all
Marge*


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## texasgirl (Feb 2, 2008)

What a wonderful idea!! I absolutely love it!!

Hey, scoot over please. I will take BT's seat while he's getting his punishment

There is nothing better than friends and/or family getting together around a table and sharing with each other. You have all become a big part of my life in the last few years. I don't think I would make it without you guys!!
Marge, I love seeing you on here and your groan threads
They make my day when I read them. It's the silly things that help everyone through sometimes.
Anytime you want to share a special moment, or just come in and need a shoulder, we are all here to help you through!!


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## Dove (Feb 2, 2008)

*A brand new thread and I must ask Buckytom to my woodshed..
Look before you shoot BT...LOL
*


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## kitchenelf (Feb 2, 2008)

Dove said:


> *A brand new thread and I must ask Buckytom to my woodshed..
> Look before you shoot BT...LOL
> *



You've got to admit he was the 14th poster - not bad for bt - a LOT of times he's off to the wood shed in the 1st post! 

Marge - I hope you like your new kitchen table - Here's a flower for the vase!


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## PA Baker (Feb 2, 2008)

Marge, all of us here would give anything to really be in your kitchen to help make it a sunny, warm, happy place filled with wonderful conversation.  The table and goodies may be virtual here, but our love for you is real!


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## Dove (Feb 3, 2008)

*AWWWWWW
AND THE FEELINGS ARE MUTUIAL*


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## texasgirl (Feb 3, 2008)

Good morning Marge. I hope you had a wonderful nights sleep!! Have a cup of coffee and look at the beautiful morning outside.


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## Katie H (Feb 3, 2008)

Good day, Marge!  Just stopping by to say "Hello."  I brought a plate of fresh cherry scones for anyone who is hungry.  Buck and I had some for breakfast today and gobbled them up.  Enjoy!

Have a great day!!


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## elaine l (Feb 3, 2008)

Marge, we have never actually met but I would love to join this warm and friendly table.  Hopefully I can bring some sunshine and smiles too.  It is almost tea time and I hope that some of Katie's scones are still around.


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## kadesma (Feb 3, 2008)

Hi Marge,
a quick hello and plate of warm pancetta bisquits and strawberry freezer jam to go with them. Have a houseful of gypsies making panninis and enjoying each other..Just wanted to say hi to everyone and give you a hug.

kades


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## amber (Feb 3, 2008)

Hi Marge and everyone else at the table tonight. I am currently watching the super bowl here and there with my full cup of tea, and off to walk the dog before the halftime show, because I do love watching all the creative ads and the concert (Tom Petty this year so I read).


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## Constance (Feb 3, 2008)

Marge, I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner, but please know my thoughts were with you. 
Sending you warm hugs!


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## Alix (Feb 3, 2008)

Hi Marge, been busy most of the weekend chasing kids down. I'm ready for a sit down and a cup of tea. I brought some Earl Grey with me, feel like a cup and maybe a game of cribbage?


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## Dove (Feb 3, 2008)

*All this food !!! i don't want to gain back the 40 pounds I lost...should loose at least another 40 but...oh well.

I never learned to play Cribbage Alex..it's a shame though. I have a beautiful solid Ivory cribbage Board that Paul brought back from Japan in 1952.

I have been playing cards on my computer tho..I think my pc cheats..*


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## Katie H (Feb 3, 2008)

Dove said:


> *All this food !!! i don't want to gain back the 40 pounds I lost...should loose at least another 40 but...oh well.
> 
> I never learned to play Cribbage Alex..it's a shame though. I have a beautiful solid Ivory cribbage Board that Paul brought back from Japan in 1952.
> 
> I have been playing cards on my computer tho..I think my pc cheats..*



Yours cheats, too.   I thought mine was the only one.  I'm so relieved!!

I'm still trying to figure out how it can cheat playing solitaire.


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## csalt (Feb 4, 2008)

Hey BT did you enjoy your roast pheasant?! You've still got a feather stuck to your mouth.


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## PA Baker (Feb 4, 2008)

Alix said:


> Hi Marge, been busy most of the weekend chasing kids down. I'm ready for a sit down and a cup of tea. I brought some Earl Grey with me, feel like a cup and maybe a game of cribbage?


 
Alix, I'd play cribbage with you any time you're ready for a game!  My grandfather taught me as a child when we'd visit for our long summer vacations.  I spent many an evening listening to baseball on the radio while we played cribbage on the screened-in porch.  Sounds painful for a kid, but it was actually great fun.  It's hard to find fellow-cribbage players, though, so next time you're playing, deal me in!


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## Alix (Feb 4, 2008)

I wonder if there is a way to play online? I LOVE cribbage, and Marge, its easy to learn and I'd love to teach you. 

I wonder if facebook has that application.


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## CharlieD (Feb 4, 2008)

I just made 300 pirogies/varenikies for the russian party, but what heack let's just eat them up right now. The water is boiling, here they go in. Aha they swiming to the top which means they ready. Lots and lots of butter. stop pushig me, there is enough for everybody. Yes borscht is coming too...

I hope I had more comforting words, but I am lousy when it comes to this things, all I can do is cry.


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## Alix (Feb 4, 2008)

Charlie, good food and a shared cry is sometimes the best medicine of all. And really, there is no better comfort food than perogies!


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## Michelemarie (Feb 5, 2008)

Good morning everyone - can I pull up a chair? Big hug to you Marge, love you sweetie! I'm pouring some coffee with cinnamon vanilla cream. Would anyone like a blueberry scone?


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## Dina (Feb 5, 2008)

Sweet Marge,
I brought you some tea sandwiches and other savory sweets.  What tea would you like?


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## kitchenelf (Feb 5, 2008)

CharlieD said:


> I just made 300 pirogies/varenikies for the russian party, but what heack let's just eat them up right now. The water is boiling, here they go in. Aha they swiming to the top which means they ready. Lots and lots of butter. stop pushig me, there is enough for everybody. Yes borscht is coming too...
> 
> I hope I had more comforting words, but I am lousy when it comes to this things, all I can do is cry.



Sorry, I didn't mean to push!!!  

Marge - are you any closer with plane reservations?


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## jpmcgrew (Feb 5, 2008)

I will be there as well. Since it looks like there will be plenty of goodies,coffee and tea I will keep the coffee pot going the water hot for tea I will do all the refills and do the dishes.That way every one can sit and relax. But believe me I wont miss out and have plenty to say as well.
Now that just about everyone is here I say we plan an itinerary for Marge it will include who she will visit and what we will be doing for her and showing her the best attractions. We want to make her trip visiting the closest first in a way so she will not hafto backtrack and yet travel the entire USA then Canada and then on to other countries.


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## amber (Feb 5, 2008)

Well seeing as Marge lives in California and I live in Maine, I guess I would be one of the last on her itinerary to see, but Marge, I would love to show you two of my favorite places in Maine:  Acadia National Park (Northeast coastal area of Maine) and Old Orchard Beach (Southeast coastal area of Maine).  In the Bar Harbor region of Maine which is where Acadia National Park is located, there are many lobster pounds to visit, many tourist areas and plenty of fun things to do.  

The Old Orchard Beach area is gorgeous, and lots of fun with all the shops and tourist attractions. The beach is seven miles long.  There are many other beaches in Southern Maine as well, Wells Beach is great.  Anyway Marge, you would certainly have a great and relaxing time here in Maine.


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## kadesma (Feb 6, 2008)

jpmcgrew said:


> I will be there as well. Since it looks like there will be plenty of goodies,coffee and tea I will keep the coffee pot going the water hot for tea I will do all the refills and do the dishes.That way every one can sit and relax. But believe me I wont miss out and have plenty to say as well.
> Now that just about everyone is here I say we plan an itinerary for Marge it will include who she will visit and what we will be doing for her and showing her the best attractions. We want to make her trip visiting the closest first in a way so she will not hafto backtrack and yet travel the entire USA then Canada and then on to other countries.


Good idea, and in that case, I live in California and not so very far from Marge, so she can stop by here on her way. Nothing special here but there will be lots of hugs,smiles and love for her and anything she desires to eat or drink..I'll share my beautiful grand kids with you Marge and we can go to San Francisco or Back your way to Tahoe or Reno or just sit here and enjoy a nice fire, and talk..
My home is yours anytime you would like.
kades


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## Dove (Feb 6, 2008)

*Wow..I can't decide where to go first...*


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## Cath4420 (Feb 6, 2008)

*Hi Marge (whispering)*

you will probably be asleep by the time this gets to you.

The kitchen table seems to be getting quite full but as we aussies do, I will find a way to squeeze in , maybe nestle myself on the kitchen bench seat - have bought my caramel latte from Starbucks with me.  I have put some mini pavlovas in the fridge for tomorrow.  Can I ask a quick question though - (a) cribbage and (b) pirogies - what are they?  Just a little naive, I suppose it is like me trying to explain what "Two Up" and "Tim Tams" are!

After you have finished visiting all of the DC family in the US and Canada, come down and you can climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge (i'll watch - scared of heights!), I'll take you to the Opera House and for dinner we can sit at Circular Quay and watch the ships come in at night on the harbour.

Lots of hugs and love, speak to you in my morning/your afternoon - how confusing.
Cath


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## jpmcgrew (Feb 6, 2008)

Marge, when you start working your way east of California you will need to stop in Northern New Mexico. You can come to the ranch where I live 600.000 acres of wild. You can watch all the wildlife and you have a great chance of seeing a bear. I will wait on you hand and foot, Then we can go to Taos or Santa Fe so you can really experience what NM is all about and of course eat a lot of chili dishes, Oh, almost forgot we can also go to Trinidad just over the border in Colorado. I still remember you telling me about it.


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## kitchenelf (Feb 6, 2008)

Dove said:


> *Wow..I can't decide where to go first...*



Well I CAN!  Ya'll just back off!   Oh, and I'm all about lobsters - if you were a tad closer I'd take a trip there!


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## ChefJune (Feb 6, 2008)

amber said:


> Well seeing as Marge lives in California and I live in Maine, I guess I would be one of the last on her itinerary to see, but Marge, I would love to show you two of my favorite places in Maine: Acadia National Park (Northeast coastal area of Maine) and Old Orchard Beach (Southeast coastal area of Maine). In the Bar Harbor region of Maine which is where Acadia National Park is located, there are many lobster pounds to visit, many tourist areas and plenty of fun things to do.
> 
> The Old Orchard Beach area is gorgeous, and lots of fun with all the shops and tourist attractions. The beach is seven miles long. There are many other beaches in Southern Maine as well, Wells Beach is great. Anyway Marge, you would certainly have a great and relaxing time here in Maine.


 
Amber, I'll bet she'd like a visit to Monhegan Island, too.  I remember Lobster so fresh they literally slapped my face!


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## Dove (Feb 6, 2008)

*I would just love to visit all of you...keep the doors open..might surprise you some day....
Marge*


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## jpmcgrew (Feb 8, 2008)

Get the lead out guys. Who else at this table is going to have Marge come visit and what will she be doing with you?


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## Cath4420 (Feb 9, 2008)

jpmcgrew said:


> Marge, when you start working your way east of California you will need to stop in Northern New Mexico. You can come to the ranch where I live 600.000 acres of wild. You can watch all the wildlife and you have a great chance of seeing a bear. I will wait on you hand and foot, Then we can go to Taos or Santa Fe so you can really experience what NM is all about and of course eat a lot of chili dishes, Oh, almost forgot we can also go to Trinidad just over the border in Colorado. I still remember you telling me about it.


 

JP, that sounds awesome!!


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## jpmcgrew (Feb 9, 2008)

Cath4420 said:


> JP, that sounds awesome!!


 
 Well then come and visit. Do you like beer?


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## Katie H (Feb 9, 2008)

jpmcgrew said:


> Get the lead out guys. Who else at this table is going to have Marge come visit and what will she be doing with you?



No problem, jp.  Buck and I would love to take Marge to Paducah  to see all the beautifully restored buildings/shops in the downtown area and have lunch and/or dinner at one of the fabulous restaurants there.

We hope, while there, that she'll take tons of pictures of the beautiful murals that are painted on the floodwall.

If she visits between mid-April and mid-October, we will  also take her to Columbus-Belmont State Park, which overlooks the mighty Mississippi River and is piece of Civil  War history.  It's one of the best places for a picnic and to sit under a nice big tree and read a book or take a nap.

If she's into water activities,  then,  we'll  go  to either Kentucky Lake or Barkley Lake.  Either way, we  definitely won't miss going to The Land Between the Lakes to visit the planetarium and  to the area that's reserved for watching American eagles.

If she does  everything we have planned for her, she'll be ready for a nap and a leisurely drive to the next DC member who will "treat" her.


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## Constance (Feb 9, 2008)

Well Marge, if you're going to get that close to me, maybe we can find a way for all six of us to get together for a lunch somewhere. 

I have trouble getting around, but I can get from the car to the restaurant door.  


PS...Do you have any objections to old ladies that still wear tie dye T-shirts?


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## buckytom (Feb 9, 2008)

you (still) rock, connie!!!!!!!!!


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## kitchenelf (Feb 9, 2008)

Marge - don't you be all tuckered out when you get here!


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## Constance (Feb 9, 2008)

buckytom said:


> you (still) rock, connie!!!!!!!!!



Thanks, Man. I really needed that today.


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## Cath4420 (Feb 10, 2008)

jpmcgrew said:


> Well then come and visit. Do you like beer?


 
May do so in the future, JP.  Beer - We love it.  But I have the best of both worlds, I have a local brewery 3 mins drive from where i live and an award winning wine region 20 mins drive from where I live.  It is soo hard.  If you go 20 mins in the other direction you can whale and dolphin watch all year round or go deep sea fishing.

Oh Marge, the places I could show you - all of you.  Even where Bilby lives, WA is so diverse and beautiful.


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## LEFSElover (Feb 12, 2008)

Dove said:


> *I would just love to visit all of you...keep the doors open..might surprise you some day....*
> *Marge*


Several of us all close enough Marge, mosey on up, love to bake and cook with you in my kitchen


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## Dove (Feb 12, 2008)

LEFLELover
I would have to mosey on down..I am in Northern Ca.LOL


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## kitchenelf (Feb 14, 2008)

Cath4420 said:


> May do so in the future, JP.  Beer - We love it.  But I have the best of both worlds, I have a local brewery 3 mins drive from where i live and an award winning wine region 20 mins drive from where I live.  It is soo hard.  If you go 20 mins in the other direction you can whale and dolphin watch all year round or go deep sea fishing.
> 
> Oh Marge, the places I could show you - all of you.  Even where Bilby lives, WA is so diverse and beautiful.



Please get the guest room ready and if you don't mind just a small refrigerator and a coffee pot   How do these sunglasses look?


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## Dove (Feb 17, 2008)

*If I wasen't such a chicken I would get in my car and visit every one of you but since I don't do freeways...I'm landlocked.
*


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## *amy* (Feb 17, 2008)

Since you probably have lots of virtual food, here's a virtual crystal rose. (Best part - it doesn't need any water. My kind of flower. lol)... cause sometimes we all need a few rainbows.


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## kitchenelf (Feb 17, 2008)

Oddly enough Marge towards the end of your trip here we'll be going to California!  Isn't that just the way things work?  We have to get in two places - Black Mountain and Rainee's with Barbara and James.  Are those goals good for you?


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## Dove (Feb 18, 2008)

*Thank you Amy..

Sounds great Elf..I forgot the dates you will leave N.C. 
send me a E-Mail
Marge*


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## Uncle Bob (Feb 18, 2008)

Miss Marge, I just finished re-wiring the wood shed and installing new lights. So, now you can "take care of business" day and night!! Be sure to let Miss Kitchenelf know.


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## Dove (Feb 19, 2008)

*Thanks Uncle bob..I noticed the lights were blinking the other night when I was tidying up in there..oh no...that was in here,,my computer room. The fan works but the light socket doesn't.
Do you make house calls?? *


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## Uncle Bob (Feb 19, 2008)

You bet.....I'll come over...we can eat soup and cornbread when I'm finished.


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## Dove (Mar 2, 2008)

*Uncle Bob..The soup is cold and the cornbread is stale. Where were you?
Marge*


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## Katie H (Mar 2, 2008)

Hey, Marge.  Heat up the soup, crunch up the cornbread for dressing some other time and let's fire up the cast-iron skillet and make more cornbread.  I'll bring the bacon grease for the skillet.  I could use a bowl of soup right about now.  Seems like breakfast was days ago.


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## Dove (Mar 2, 2008)

*Good idea Katie. I need some company today. Having a terrible time with anxiety today. Have meds but just don't want to take any. 
*


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## Katie H (Mar 2, 2008)

Well, I'm glad I decided to drop in.  Been a pretty decent day in Kentucky today.  Our high temp was 75 degrees.  I opened as many doors as I could to let in the fresh air.  Our inside kitties sat at the doors watching outside "TV."  Lots of little heads in a row and tails swishing away as the programs changed.  I think they watched a lot of the "birdie" channel.

Glorious day.  Sunny, lots of puffy white clouds in a robin's egg blue sky.  I can see green "growies" popping up in our yard.  They are emerging so quickly I can almost hear them growing.

My youngest brother who lives about an hour south of us already has crocus and daffodils blooming.  It won't be long before we see lots of daffodils along the fence rows in the countryside here, especially in very sunny spots.

Just ticking the days off until it's officially spring and I can get back into shorts and flip-flops.

Here, I'll share some of our York Peppermint Patty Brownies I made this morning.  A new recipe I tried but, of course, I had to tinker with it.  Yum!  Chocolate and mint.  The smell was so wonderful as they baked it almost drove me out of the kitchen.  Well, it was either leave the kitchen or eat the door off the oven.


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## buckytom (Mar 3, 2008)

marge, oh marge, i'm still here.

{{climbing on elfie's shoulders}}}

whoooaaa......whoooaaaaa..... elfie, stand still!

hey, i can't see. too many people in the kitchen.

[[standing up]]

oh, there you are, marge. <<<<marge>>>>

i'm making an eggplant lasagna tomorrow. should i make you and extra tray? once you've got everything ready, it's easy to crank them out.




would you stop kicking me!!!! let elfie through please.


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## Dove (Mar 4, 2008)

BT, You are so funny !
And yes..i would love to have your eggplant lasagna. That really sounds good. Have you posted the recipe for it here?

Elf, do your shoulders hurt?
Marge


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## kitchenelf (Mar 4, 2008)

Anyone know a good chiropractor????  Dang BT - what shoes did you have on - Katie C's CF... - I mean spikes?


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## Mama (Mar 5, 2008)

ChefJune said:


> What a great thread, Elf!
> 
> Besides, we can share our coffee cake recipes here, too! When I was a little girl, neighbor ladies would bring coffee cakes over to share, and I grew up just loving those homey goodies.


 
Hi Marge,

I'm new to the neighborhood. Thought I'd stop by to tell you that my prayers are with you and I'd be honored if you would allow me to join you at your table. 

I brought Banana Bread!


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## kadesma (Mar 5, 2008)

Hi Marge,
thought I'd stop by for a minute and say hi..At last, spring is just around the corner..All the almond trees are in bloom here and it is so heart warming..I'm looking forward to summer and using my new kitchen and best of all having the little ones here every now and again. I so miss watching them as I use to...Have been really into baking with my new oven..Would you like some peanut butter cookies? How about some nice mint tea. Well, time to check all the doors and turn off some of the lights...See you tomorrow.

kades


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## Rob Babcock (Mar 9, 2008)

Best wishes, Dove.  I hope the support of all your virtual-but-real friends has eased your burdens.  We all need to belong, and hopefully your adopted DC family gives you another home away from home.

Be well and be happy.  We only get one pass for this crazy ride.


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## Dove (Mar 10, 2008)

*My DC family is my home away from home and when I am alone it helps to come on here..

welcome Mama..pull up a chair.*


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## Katie H (Mar 10, 2008)

Hi, Marge (bending over  to  give a  big hug),  it's nice   to  see  you today.   How's your day been today?  We had  a nice, but   quiet  one.  Are you  ready for spring?  I can't  wait  to  see things  leafing  out   and blooming.  Love  the  new  chance  the  world  gets every spring.


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## Dove (Mar 12, 2008)

*I think Spring has sprung..My dogwood is going to be so beautiful (again) this year. Every year it just out does itself from the year before. the other flowering trees are just full of bloom. We have been in the 70's so they think it is "show time' 

Son Kevin and a friend are (were?) going to put my fence up this week end but they are calling for 40% chance of rain. We have all the supplies..now have to wait and see what Mother Nature is going to do.

Thanks for the hug Katie. I need it.*


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## Fisher's Mom (Mar 12, 2008)

Gosh, Marge, I think dogwood trees are the most beautiful of all! I miss the ones I had in Massachusetts. It's so nice yours are beginning to bloom for you. I noticed some buds on my crape myrtles. I can't wait for that gorgeous splash of pink in my back yard. 

How wonderful your sons are going to put up your fence. If it's raining, they will just have to pull up a chair at your table. There always seems to be something wonderful to eat here in your kitchen.


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## Dove (Mar 13, 2008)

*Just my one son...and his friend will be working on my fence tomorrow and Friday. I just had the two boys..John and Kevin.*


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## Fisher's Mom (Mar 13, 2008)

Dove said:


> *Just my one son...and his friend will be working on my fence tomorrow and Friday. I just had the two boys..John and Kevin.*


Oh gosh, Marge, I'm so sorry. I meant your son and your grandsons. But it turns out it's your son and his friend. My brain just doesn't work as well when I'm not on the beach.


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## Dove (Mar 24, 2008)

*I understand...I was with my DIL, 2 Grandsons and Kevin Easter Day. That is when I really feel the loss. John did all the cooking..now Timothy is doing it. He did a good job on the ham.*


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## Fisher's Mom (Mar 24, 2008)

Awwww, Marge, it's so hard getting used to the empty chairs on holidays. I really miss my dad on the holidays, too. I keep looking around because there is that constant feeling that someone is missing. How did Timothy feel about being the cook this year?


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## Dove (Mar 25, 2008)

*Tim did last Thanksgiving Dinner ( the day after John's services)  and the Christmas Ham too. He learned from John I guess. He is experimenting on everything but it comes out pretty good. I think it makes him feel good taking over for Dad.

John started the tradition of having us over for Holiday Dinners and Christmas Eve for gift opening. We decided to keep the tradition going. *


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## cara (Mar 25, 2008)

hey Marge,

I join you for a good cup of coffee and bring you some spring from Germany!


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## Dove (Mar 25, 2008)

*So beautiful Cara !! 
Please do sit down with us..we all welcome you at our table.
Marge*


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## Steamboater (Mar 27, 2008)

Hi Marge: My warm regards to you. Loss is shock when it comes there are people, although they mean well,  who will tell how to feel and how to get over it etc but in the end that's up to you and it's very personal. Honestly, I'm a Gay man and my partner of 24 yeras died 2 years ago. He had also adopted two kids 6 yeras prior to his death and the day after he died DCS came and took the kids and put them back into the foster care system without even asking me if I wanted them. Eight months later my mom died and 2 days after that, my dog. People will tell you your loved ones are in a better place and when they did, for me at least, it made me very angry because a better place would have been with me. In the end, take it day by day. There's moments when you have that flicker of memory that comes back and it almost paralyzes you but they do get fewer and far between as time goes by and the good times and wonderful moments you had together revive and strangley, it makes you happier. One thing friends did tell me that's true, your loved ones would want you to be happy. I hope that happens for you eventually.


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## Fisher's Mom (Mar 27, 2008)

I'm sorry to hear you've had so many losses in the last 2 years, Steamboater. My mom lost my dad 3 years ago and she still has a lot of paralyzing days. I don't think any of us ever really think we will outlive those we love. Especially after so many years. You're right - there is no guidebook for how you should feel. Sadly, each one of us has to find our way through one day at a time. Hopefully we have friends to lean on when we need it. I'm glad you've found DC and I hope our community will be a source of comfort for you, too.


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## Dove (Mar 28, 2008)

*Steamboater,
Thank you for your understanding..everyone here has helped me but only someone who has walked in my shoes can really feel my pain.
I do have friends that do say "they are in a better place" inc. my sis who is a Hospice Chaplain..I just say..."How do you know?"  
Marge*


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## buckytom (Mar 29, 2008)

hey, let's take marge's shoes!!!

marge, there *is* a better place. i'm quite mellow sure of it.

i've spent most of my life, of course with all due respect only slightly more than half of yours, trying to find out the answers to the same stuff as the rest of us. where are we from, why are we here, where do we go, etc.

in analyzing this to the point of insanity, all i can say is that all religions are writer's perceptions of how to explain our lives. what pervades, though, is that we all do have this life energy (whatever that is that makes us alive), and a basic sense of right and wrong. those things cannot be denied, no matter how you deconstruct them in order to figure them out.

so, with that in mind, started to learn about the teachings of various religions, and found striking commonalities. one of them is that god is everywhere, and in everything. again, looking at it backwards, that means we all are god, or have him in us somewhere.

so, i started to think that maybe all of our life energies put back together is god as a whole. that's why it is taught that god is omnipotent. that when we die, we understand everything, and can then forgive and love everything wholly. because we can see/experience things from every point of view.

reality is merely a series of perceptions. what we see and are in our everyday lives. so all of our perceptions mashed back together is the true reality. in other words, god.
i hope i haven't lost you. 

in any case, i don't know if it's a better "place", but i do know that we all come back together. so you, whatever it is that makes you , will go back to being one with yours that you have lost, and will be with those that are to come. 

inluding pets, btw. 

like steamboater said, the best place anyone can be is back together with their family and loved ones. so don't lose faith. relish every day that you have with those here, because soon enough all of us will really be at the same table, having a laugh and telling gw to try an irish coffee, already.


edited to add: ok, so i sound like a nutcase. but YOU try to explain it better, in your own words. (not you, pre se marge, but yous in general )

go ahead. try.


see, now_ *who's*_ crazy.




i feel better.


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## Green Lady (Mar 29, 2008)

Marge, I've been away from DC and didn't know about this thread.  I hope there is a place at the table for me to join all of you.

I am reading a great book along with some of my friends.  You might find it interesting.  It's entitled "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn. It answers a lot of questions and also gets the reader to look at things from a different perspective.  It is a wonderful book!  It can be purchased on Amazon or at Christian Family Bookstores.

The author read well over 100 books on Heaven before writing his book. He searched the scriptures for answers.  Many of the ideas and thoughts about Heaven that many of us grew up with are incorrect.  Of course, some of what he writes is conjecture and opinion, but well thought out.  But I think he is right-on with much that he wrote.


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## kadesma (Apr 3, 2008)

Marge,
better place, no more pain, are words..They are said in the hope that they will give us comfort and ease..People all of us, are hard pressed as to what to say when someone has a loved one leave this world. So we offer up these words to let you know we do care and deeply....Being together again gives us hope of life after death..with out that thought leaves one wondering what what will become of them..I myself hold tight to the words together again, it gives me hope and a feeling of restful peace, that I will hold them again in my arms.I wish and pray for that for all of us.

cj


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## Dove (Apr 4, 2008)

*You are all right..I was just having a bad day...
sorry..*


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## Fisher's Mom (Apr 4, 2008)

Don't apologize for letting us know you're having a rough day, Marge! How can we help if we don't know you're feeling bad? And considering the awful things you've had to come to grips with the past couple of years, it would be crazy to think you'd "be over it". That's why Elf built this table - so your DC family could be with you through this tough time. Folks shouldn't have to keep a stiff upper lip when they are at the table with their family. So no more apologies my friend, and I still have you in my thoughts and prayers every day.


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## Dove (Apr 4, 2008)




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## kadesma (Apr 4, 2008)

Fishers Mom, beautifly well said..Marge, we all love you and any of us is here for you anytime you have a day be it good or bad..Just remember...We LOVE YOU!
kadesma


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## Green Lady (Apr 4, 2008)

I agree with everything Fisher's Mom wrote.  Remember, Marge, that grieving is a process that takes time.  I respect a person who is honest about their emotions than one who keeps a stiff upper lip. I think most of us here have had losses of one kind or another, maybe not exactly what you have experienced, but heartache and losses.  We can jointly support you and hold you up in prayer.


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## buckytom (Apr 4, 2008)

psst, marge. i think they're trying to tell you that you have something on your lip.


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## kadesma (Apr 4, 2008)

buckytom said:


> psst, marge. i think they're trying to tell you that you have something on your lip.



watch it Buckyboy, you're mighty close to the woodshed door
kades


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## Dove (Apr 4, 2008)

*My door is always open for Buckytom....The welcome sign is out BT.*


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## kitchenelf (Apr 27, 2008)

Where is ebrybody???​


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## Katie H (Apr 27, 2008)

Yuk!  Yuk!   We're here!


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## babetoo (Apr 27, 2008)

buckytom said:


> hey, let's take marge's shoes!!!
> 
> marge, there *is* a better place. i'm quite mellow sure of it.
> 
> ...


 
u explain it just fine, made good sense to me



babe


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## elvenrunelord (May 15, 2008)

*so sad*

so sad to loose a dearly loved one. My sympathy is with you.


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## Dove (Jun 5, 2008)

*Thank you all for the love, concerns and Prayers through the rough last two years. I think it is time to let this sticky topic go now. 
Marge*


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## Chief Longwind Of The North (Jun 5, 2008)

I haven't entered the room as it's pretty crowded, what with BT standing on Elfies shoulders in high-heels and all. Rather, Marge, you know me, and how I feel about you. But my best recipes, both sweet and savory, are on your table, and more importantly, my best support. You have a lot of good freinds around here. You are a rich woman indeed. You are loved, as are all of your family. My greates hope for you is that your daughter in law, and your grandchildren will always remain as close as you can, and will see each other often. Cyber family is great, but there's nothing like a hug from one you love, in the flesh.

Seeeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


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## Dove (Jun 5, 2008)

*This room has been pretty quiet lately so I guess it is time to move on..
I will see Elf next week and ask her to remove her heels just for you. we will drive down to visit with Barbara and James. 
Life does go on..ready for it or not.
Marge*


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## Katie H (Jun 5, 2008)

Great news, Marge.  I was wondering when you  were going on your  trip/adventure.  I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time with  Vicky  and her family and with Barbara  and James.  You have  to promise to let us know how lovely the  ride is in Barbara and James' new car.  Are  you taking Dove along?

Have  a wonderful trip and  know that  Buck  and I wish you  God's  speed  and safety.

Love and hugs.


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## kadesma (Jun 5, 2008)

Marge,
how wonderful, a trip with special friends..I wish you a wonderful time and remember the door here is always open..Be safe and have a great time..Enjoy, Enjoy

cj


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## Dove (Jun 5, 2008)

*Little Dove will stay with my Grandson...he has her sister (Dove doesn't like her..lol) I will miss her so much . I have thought about not going...but I will.
I will enjoy being with Elf, Barbara and James.

Thanks for the well wishes..I intend on having a good time.
Marge*


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## Katie H (Jun 5, 2008)

Dove said:


> *Little Dove will stay with my Grandson...he has her sister (Dove doesn't like her..lol) I will miss her so much . I have thought about not going...but I will.
> I will enjoy being with Elf, Barbara and James.
> 
> Thanks for the well wishes..I intend on having a good time.
> Marge*


*

Heavens, don't think about NOT going.

I'm so excited for you, Marge.  What a great opportunity and it will give you a way to purge some of the sad things you've encountered over the last 2 years.

Close your eyes.  Hold your nose and jump in.  Let the freshness of the experience wash over you.  Have a BALL!!!

P.S.  Give Dove  few extra treats and tell her to be a good girl.*


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## kitchenelf (Jun 5, 2008)

Marge, I put in a request for low humidity but it's not lookin' good, girlfriend!  Light clothes!!!!  Sleeveless for sure!


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## Barbara L (Jun 6, 2008)

James and I are so excited!  We will have to take you both for a ride in our new car!  

Barbara


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## Pook (Jun 8, 2008)

Woooo! Got room for five cats, one huge puppy and me?
I hope you have a ball! Praying for safe travel, friend.
Hugs,
Joyce


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## kitchenelf (Jun 30, 2008)

Marge - are you back home at your very own kitchen table yet?  I'm so glad I got to take you to the airport!!!  I hope your trip home was uneventful.


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## Dove (Jul 2, 2008)

*Back home and tired...I had a 20 hour day last Sunday. Dove was a happy camper when I walked in the door. she won't let me out of her sight.

Thanks Elf for the great cook out, good friends of yours that ate with us and the ride to the airport.

About an hour or more out of Sacramento I could see a very long line of fires in Ca. So sad...

We had to sit on the tarmac in Charlotte for over an hour because of the thunder storm. .that made us two hours late because we were late on takeoff....I am NOT going to fly again if I can't afford first class. Coach with strangers wasn't fun.... Togetherness can go only so far....LOL*


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## kitchenelf (Jul 2, 2008)

Marge - did your son save you some of that BBQ sauce James got you?

Hey James, if you read this guess what????????  About HALF that sauce is already gone - I think my husband drinks it after I go to sleep.

This summer, at some point when things settle down, we'll have a little cookout.  On your way pick up dinner at Eb's   That's some good food!


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## Green Lady (Jul 2, 2008)

Marge,

Glad you're home safe and sound!


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## kitchenelf (Jul 2, 2008)

Green Lady said:


> Marge,
> 
> Glad you're home safe and sound!



I'm not - I want her to still be here!


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## Dove (Jul 5, 2008)

*Awww Elf...I miss you too.

I just felt like a fish out of water without Paul. I have never in 52 years been in his sisters homes without him. It was so hard to be there. Each day I would wake up and say " I want to go home" So I did..9 days early.*


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## Green Lady (Jul 5, 2008)

Oh, Marge, so sorry to hear you cut your trip short because of your discomfort.  You have been through so much these past few years.  It will get better with time.  You will never forget your loved ones but you will heal and go on.  You have many friends here at DC who support you and love you and are praying for you.


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## quicksilver (Jul 5, 2008)

Dove, I read about your going away and was glad.
It's good to get out, test the waters.
But, I'm also glad you know yourself and like yourself enough to know when enough is enough.
No place like home, no matter what that means.

Welcome Home.

I'm wondering how Katie made out. I bet it was a long and turbulant day for her.
Will post a new thread, I think.


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## Dove (Jul 5, 2008)

*I have been having dreams of looking for Paul. the last 3 he was in Vietnam and hasn't written to me for 7 or 8 months. I am then there looking for him. They tell me he has already left for the States...I wonder if this is connected to my being in his home town with his sisters and he wasn't there???

*


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## ChefJune (Jul 6, 2008)

Dove said:


> *I have been having dreams of looking for Paul. the last 3 he was in Vietnam and hasn't written to me for 7 or 8 months. I am then there looking for him. They tell me he has already left for the States...I wonder if this is connected to my being in his home town with his sisters and he wasn't there???
> 
> *



Probably.

Marge, don't look so hard for him. He is right there with you.  Just check your right shoulder......... (those we love the most never really leave us. sometimes we just need to be quiet to hear them).  Today would have been my dear Stan's 74th birthday.  Instead, he has been gone for more than 25 years.  But he is never really very far away. I just can't touch him...

Go easy on yourself.   and I understand your need to go/be home.  Next time it will be a bit easier.  We are all with you, sweetie.  

sending you lots of hugs.


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## babetoo (Jul 7, 2008)

oh dove, you break my heart. also you make me feel better to know you dream of your husband as i do. 

sometimes as i just wake up, i reach out to him on his side of the bed and for just an instant it is real. 

i haven't been able to sleep in the middle or on his side of the bed and it has been twelve years. in many ways, i am glad memories of him are so fresh. he was the love of my life and i miss him.

babe


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## Dove (Aug 9, 2008)

*I have had several dreams about him backing up when I reach for a hug..Kevin was out at the shooting range and was wishing his dad could see how well he was shooting. That night in his dream he could see dad and would start running towards him. Paul would disappear every time. He said he woke up sobbing. Do you think this is Paul's way of saying " It's time to let go?"*


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## ChefJune (Aug 9, 2008)

No... he will never be far from you, you just can't touch him.  Maybe that's what he's saying.  Why don't you ask him?

sending all of you hugs, Marge.


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## buckytom (Aug 9, 2008)

some people are good at letting go, some are readily comfortable with the thought of passively holding on.

marge, i hope you find your peace in either, or at least a balance in between.


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## Dove (Aug 9, 2008)

*I think what is going on is that John became very ill just 3 month after we lost his dad. I didn't really have time to grieve for Paul and now the dust has settled...i am. Does that make any sense?*


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## babetoo (Aug 9, 2008)

Dove said:


> *I think what is going on is that John became very ill just 3 month after we lost his dad. I didn't really have time to grieve for Paul and now the dust has settled...i am. Does that make any sense?*


 

that certainly does make sense. when we are so close to someone and they leave us, a piece of us goes as well. i find the memories coming at the oddest times and places. course mine are also bound up  in the violence of his death.

just go with it dove, when you don't need it anymore it will stop. i am not sure when that might be though. just know you are not alone. 

babe


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## kadesma (Aug 9, 2008)

Dove said:


> *I think what is going on is that John became very ill just 3 month after we lost his dad. I didn't really have time to grieve for Paul and now the dust has settled...i am. Does that make any sense?*


Marge it makes perfect sense. You got caught up in a whirlwind..Paul, then John, losing our husbands or parents hurts so much, but losing a child, that is something we cannot understand. We know and accept the fact we should leave our children and go home and that they will continue on. Then all of a sudden all we know and accept gets ripped and torn and we are left to sort it out..Right now you are finally starting to grieve fully for Paul, but the fact that you have John to mourn puts a double burden on you..The dreams will fade after awhile and with time peace and soothing memories will come for you..Rest and remember your loved ones, they are right there Marge..I see my dad each day as the little hummers come to the feeder..I have one who will come hover over my head if I'm on the lawn with the hose. I firmly believe this is a signal from daddy and it makes me know I'm not alone...Welcome your dreams when your loved ones come in them...You are never alone, they are always right there with you...Close your eyes and there will be times a slight soft whisp of air will brush your hair or face..I know then they have been with me.ou will too.
kadesma


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## Barbara L (Aug 11, 2008)

Dove said:


> *I have had several dreams about him backing up when I reach for a hug..Kevin was out at the shooting range and was wishing his dad could see how well he was shooting. That night in his dream he could see dad and would start running towards him. Paul would disappear every time. He said he woke up sobbing. Do you think this is Paul's way of saying " It's time to let go?"*


It could also be your subconscious way of asking permission to move on.  Either way, take whatever time you need, and know that we are right here for you.  Our prayers, as always, are with you dear Marge.

Barbara


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## ChefJune (Aug 11, 2008)

Dove said:


> *I think what is going on is that John became very ill just 3 month after we lost his dad. I didn't really have time to grieve for Paul and now the dust has settled...i am. Does that make any sense?*


 
makes perfect sense, Marge!  and grieving for both your husband and son at the same time must be exhausting.

sending you an extra dose of love and light to help see you through. 

I think of you often, even if I don't say so as much.


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## Dove (Aug 11, 2008)

*i had the strangest dream last night.  We were in an RV very close to the ocean. I could almost touch the water but it was so still..no waves. We were sitting on the RV steps and I touched his leg and asked "how do you feel?" he answered " If I could feel this good for a few days, I wouldn't make my wife a widow?"............................
This is the first dream that he spoke to me and I could hear his voice...and I was calm.

(The ocean is my most favorite place on earth.)*


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## babetoo (Aug 11, 2008)

what a lovely dream. dove is it  the anniversary of something in your life with him? birthday, anniv. anything? i found i think more about him and dream more when it is. 

babe


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## buckytom (Aug 12, 2008)

imo, you're coming to a peace with it marge. that's great.


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## kadesma (Aug 12, 2008)

I agree with Bucky Marge, Paul and John are helping you come to a peaceful time in your life..They are right there with you and will always be at your side watching after you..They want you to know a calm peace now.

kadesma


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## Dove (Aug 12, 2008)

*Babe..John's birthday would be Aug. 23rd.

I hope you are right about a coming peace...*


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## kitchenelf (Aug 13, 2008)

Oh Marge, what a lovely dream...


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## Dove (Aug 13, 2008)

*I have tears in my eyes most of the time now. I just wish they would stop.I am acting like a big baby.*


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## suziquzie (Aug 13, 2008)

Marge don't even try to stop those tears. They are human. It's been 5 years since my DH lost his Dad and sister 5 months apart.... the tears are not going to stop and shouldn't. 
His mother amazes me with waking up every day... although she was not married to his Dad anymore. They were still friends..... 
But to lose a child. 
You do what comes and don't feel wrong about it for one moment. 
Sorry.....


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## ChefJune (Aug 13, 2008)

Dove said:


> *I have tears in my eyes most of the time now. I just wish they would stop.I am acting like a big baby.*



You are not being a big baby.  you have lost not only your life partner, but also your beloved son!  If you weren't crying, I swould be worried about you!


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## Barbara L (Aug 14, 2008)

Marge,

As the others have said, let the tears come.  I still cry now and then when I think of how much I miss my mom.  I couldn't imagine losing James or my daughter.  You have been through a lot, and it is normal to have stong feelings now and then.

Barbara


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## luvs (Aug 14, 2008)

i concur. 
let your sadness roll away with tears. 
my Pap passed, & tears washed away my initial grief. i still cry.
crying is a way of relieving sadness & grief, & you're allowed to cry when you want to!!


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## Dove (Aug 23, 2008)

*Tomorrow Saturday the 23rd would have been John's 53rd Birthday.Please keep the family in your Prayers and thoughts..it is going to be a rough day for us all. He has been gone 9 months and 10 days now..about as long as it took for me to bring him into the world..minus 10 days.*


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## kadesma (Aug 23, 2008)

Marge,
you all will be in my prayers, just as you are everyday..You are deeply loved Marge.Peace to you.
kadesma


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## ChefJune (Oct 7, 2008)

I've been missing Marge on here.  Does anyone know where she has been? how she's doing?


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## Dove (Oct 8, 2008)

*I am here. Thanks for asking about me. 
I am just going through a quiet time now. Not much to say so i don't say it..lol*


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## ChefJune (Oct 8, 2008)

Okay, good.  Been thinking about you.


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## Dove (Oct 30, 2008)

*Tomorrow is year two since Paul's service. 
Halloween is not a good day for us.*


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## babetoo (Oct 30, 2008)

the anniversaries  are always hard.


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## quicksilver (Oct 30, 2008)

I'm saying prayers for a quiet and easier day for you, Dove. Be at peace in your heart.
If I could do more, please know I would. Please feel free to ask if in need.


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## kadesma (Oct 30, 2008)

Marge,
we haven't forgotten, you are always in my thoughts and prayers and in that special place in my heart. You are loved.

kadesma


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## ChefJune (Nov 4, 2008)

just checking in....


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## Dove (Nov 6, 2008)

*Still here and taking one day at a time.
*


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## texasgirl (Nov 6, 2008)

One day at a time is the only thing that you can do. I hope your holidays are filled with loving memories. We are here for you!!


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## Dove (Nov 7, 2008)

*Thank you..all of you.*


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## Dove (Nov 30, 2008)

*I hope all of you had a nice Thanksgiving. 
We did..at my Daughter-in -laws home. My son Kevin, two grandsons and one of their girlfriends..Sandie's mother ,sister and sisters son. We all brought food and it was all soooooo good.
Things are easing up but Paul and son John will always be with us....*


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## Constance (Nov 30, 2008)

Yes, they will. God bless you, dear lady!


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## ChefJune (Dec 1, 2008)

I was thinking about you on Thursday, Marge.  I'm glad you had a nice day.

Hugs...


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## Dove (Dec 1, 2008)

*I took a Pumpkin and a easy to make Sugar Free Peanut butter pie. It turned out pretty good. *


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## Barbara L (Dec 2, 2008)

I'm glad you had a nice Thanksgiving as well Marge.

Barbara


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## Dove (Aug 1, 2009)

*We just buried my son Kevin's 17 year old cat last Saturday...don't you think it is time for heart break to slow down or stop??*


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## Scotch (Aug 1, 2009)

Try to focus on celebrating the life of the cat; think of the joy he or she brought you and your family for so many years, and vice versa. Your son's cat was indeed lucky to have such wonderful people for so long. That won't eliminate the pain of your losses, but it may help a bit.


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## kadesma (Aug 1, 2009)

Dove said:


> *We just buried my son Kevin's 17 year old cat last Saturday...don't you think it is time for heart break to slow down or stop??*


I understand Marge, it's been such a heart breaking time for all of you. I pray for you every day and your dear family, Hang in there Marge, come talk if it will help.hugs to all of you
cj


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