# My Project



## CatPat (Oct 15, 2013)

You all know already that I have a new stove. Now DA is paying for me to have cookware and all the things I need for a good kitchen in my lair.

I must have this done before Mamma and Papa arrive. I need plates and glasses and everything. I have been using DA's things but she thinks I should have my own.

I have decided upon stainless steel cookware, some non-stick frying pans, but that is all. I am looking of these things to buy, and if you all here have any ideas of this, please tell of this. 

This is a large task!

With love,
~Cat


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## CWS4322 (Oct 15, 2013)

Have you considered LeCrueset? I've had my set for over 30 years. I also have some stainless pans/pots, but love my LeCrueset pans.


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## CatPat (Oct 15, 2013)

I shall look at those. Gwen I think has those.

Thank you!

With love,
~Cat


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## CWS4322 (Oct 15, 2013)

What do you like re: plates and glassware? I have basic white dishes (Wedgewood) for my everyday dishes and Christmas Spode china for Christmas. My china-china is Limoges which I picked up at an auction for next to nothing (and hardly ever use). I bring out the Christmas Spode around the 1st of December and put it away New Year's Day. My glassware is German crystal (Nachtmann).


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## CatPat (Oct 15, 2013)

CWS4322 said:


> What do you like re: plates and glassware? I have basic white dishes (Wedgewood) for my everyday dishes and Christmas Spode china for Christmas. My china-china is Limoges which I picked up at an auction for next to nothing (and hardly ever use). I bring out the Christmas Spode around the 1st of December and put it away New Year's Day. My glassware is German crystal (Nachtmann).



I am not very sure of this. DA and Mamma have flowers on their plates, and I love flowers! But there are so very many patterns of them.

DA said I must have an ordinary set of plates, a holiday set, and a good set. I do not know where to start!

I am looking to Oneida for flatware. There is a Dish Barn in the next county that has beautiful things! I will look there also. DA says Wedgewood is very good, and also is Lenox and Mikasa and Noritake. I shall look to these.

The Walmart has plain white plates as DA has and I do like those! They are of Corelle. I like Corelle for it is practical.

Does everyone in America have three or more sets of plates? Mamma and DA have three. Gwen has five sets! 

There is a very large china cabinet in the dining area of my lair. It is empty. I will have very much room for three sets of plates. DA brought it with her from Romania and it will become mine one day. It matches the dining set down here. It is very heavy!

DA said I must learn to make a good home for myself first before to make a home for a family. She says I must learn to entertain guests properly and she says I am doing a very good job! DA says a home tells of the lady inside, and I do want to be as gracious and charming as my Mamma and DA.

I have so very much to learn of all this!

Thank you CWS! I have a little more than a month to be of pulling all this off well.

With love,
~Cat


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## GotGarlic (Oct 15, 2013)

What a wonderful gift! That's very nice of DA. Do you really have to decide on all three sets at once, though? That seems like a lot, since these will be items you will live with for a long time. Before you buy things like that, you want to have an idea of what your style is: Sophisticated, casual, country? French provincial, Victorian, Scandinavian? 

To get some ideas, you might want to take a look at some decorating and design magazines and see what draws you: Top 10 Decorating Magazines

Buy a few at a bookstore and look through them. Cut out pictures of patterns and colors you like, and print pages from their websites. Then put it away for a few days and come back and see what you think. Use those patterns and colors to guide your choices.

People in the U.S. entertain much more casually than they used to do. I would doubt that a lot of younger people here have a set of china. Maybe a set of inexpensive holiday dishes, and certainly everyday dishes.

I have gone to the Parade of Homes - the builders' association builds and decorates model homes and then opens them to the public - here several times. Recently, some new home designs don't even have formal dining rooms, because people use them so rarely. They feel it's wasted space, so they expand a living room or build a media room instead. I'm not saying you would feel that way; just answering your question about how many dishes Americans have.

For the cookware, Le Creuset is one of the best brands you can get, especially for enameled cast-iron and ceramic bakeware. I haven't used their non-stick, but I would think it's of good quality as well. All Clad is generally acknowledged to be the best stainless steel cookware, but it's quite expensive. I have one All Clad pan and a set of Calphalon, next best, imo. I love them all


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## CatPat (Oct 15, 2013)

GotGarlic said:


> What a wonderful gift! That's very nice of DA. Do you really have to decide on all three sets at once, though? That seems like a lot, since these will be items you will live with for a long time. Before you buy things like that, you want to have an idea of what your style is: Sophisticated, casual, country? French provincial, Victorian, Scandinavian?
> 
> To get some ideas, you might want to take a look at some decorating and design magazines and see what draws you: Top 10 Decorating Magazines
> 
> ...



I will start with the casual and the holiday dishes. Mamma and Papa are coming for the holidays and I need my table to look as very festive for them. With Papa here, he can carry DA down the steps to my lair so we can eat together at my table.

My table seats of eight people. DA said a set for eight people is proper to start with. DA has a very large formal dining room. Maybe Mamma can help me find the good dishes later.

Le Creuset is very nice! DA has Calphalon frying pans. I want those. Those are very nice. I also want the cast iron because it is what Mamma has and DA has some and I use the cast iron very well. I do not know of All Clad. I shall look for this.

I like bright colors of things. Victorian is nice! And rustic plates like Mamma's stoneware plates are so nice. Mamma fixed my suite at home of French Provincial. I do not know what those plates might look like. My lair has all very old, very heavy, very carved furniture of it. It is what DA brought with her to here. The other two floors are very much the same, but they are American heavy furniture. My lair looks like a small Romanian house which I like very much! 

I think maybe I like old things. I love my lair because it reminds me of Romania, but I have put American things in here to stand for my new country. Yes, as I type, I like old, colorful things. The furniture has maroon, blue, green, beige, and dark purple paisley patterns of the upholstery, except the ottoman. I think it was supposed to be beige but it is the color of cat barf. I shall get that recovered in blue, I am thinking. 

I am thinking I like the white Corelle for the ordinary dishes. I shall find and do postings of photos of things I like and I shall show these before to buy them for the opinions.

Thank you so very much! You have given me very much to think of in this matter.

With love,
~Cat


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## GotGarlic (Oct 15, 2013)

Just something else to think about  I like colorful things, too. When I first started buying Le Creuset, I had a hard time deciding which color I wanted. Then I realized - why choose one? So I have bought them a piece or two at a time and have Flame, Soleil (yellow), Cherry, and Kiwi. I love having a variety of colors and they look great on a buffet.


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## Katie H (Oct 15, 2013)

CatPat said:


> I like bright colors of things.
> 
> I am thinking I like the white Corelle for the ordinary dishes. I shall find and do postings of photos of things I like and I shall show these before to buy them for the opinions.
> 
> ...



You have a very daunting, and fun, task ahead of you.  I've had Corelle since before my children were born, which was in the early '70s.  I still have many of the dishes.  My current Corelle is something called Summer Blush, but it has been discontinued.  It has pretty pastel pansies as the border on the plates.

Our "good" china consists of three different patterns, of which I've collected for nearly 30 years.

One set is something called Blue Willow and is the oldest continuously produced china pattern in the world.  You can read here about the history and romantic legend of it.  It's a lovely pattern and I've managed to collect a service for 18 over the years and have pieces from many different countries.  Some of my pieces are 100-years-old and I have no hesitation to use them.  I accompany it with glassware in cobalt blue.

Another set is a pattern made by an American maker named Homer Laughlin and is called _Virginia Rose_.  The variation of the pattern I collect is called _Fluffy Rose._  It's a lovely floral design and each piece is edged in platinum.  Unfortunately the pattern was discontinued in 1934 but I've managed to accumulate enough pieces to complete a service for 12.  Here's a nice photo of the design.  I use clear, pale green and pale pink glassware to compliment it.

I've attached a photo of one of my Thanksgiving tables set with the Virginia Rose dishes.

A third, and final, set I have is something called LuRay Pastels and was made by another American manufacturer, _Taylor, Smith & Taylor_.  I have equal pieces of the four colors, enough to serve 12, which means 3 of each of the four colors for all pieces.  I've seen but never owned any of the grey pieces.  It's wonderfully pleasant and cheerful.  Look at this for some neat photos and more explanation.

Since you like pottery-like wares and also enjoy vivid colors, you might investigate _Fiestaware_.  It was first sold to the public in 1936 and is still made today, although some of the colors have been discontinued and others have been created.  Here's more more about Fiestaware.

If you are near a large china/pottery/dinnerware/cookware outlet, you will probably find Fiestaware there.  You've also mentioned Mikasa and Noritake.  Many reputable outlets sell those brands, too.

LeCreuset, with all its many colors, would look great with Fiestaware.

I'm a china and glassware nut and spent many years of my business life selling and appraising antique china, glassware and silver.  Unfortunately, I wanted every piece I came into contact with.

One thing I've never accumulated any holiday china.  Not sure why, especially since I truly love the holidays.  Hmmmm!  Maybe....No, no, no.  I have to be good.

I'd love to go shopping with you and enjoy your adventure.


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## CatPat (Oct 15, 2013)

GotGarlic said:


> Just something else to think about  I like colorful things, too. When I first started buying Le Creuset, I had a hard time deciding which color I wanted. Then I realized - why choose one? So I have bought them a piece or two at a time and have Flame, Soleil (yellow), Cherry, and Kiwi. I love having a variety of colors and they look great on a buffet.



I looked at the Le Creuset website, and I did like the colors! I think I shall mix them also if I get them. Le Creuset is cast iron! I did not know of this! I shall speak of this to DA. The set I am seeing is over $1,000.00. That may be too expensive for DA. I was not told of how much I can spend. She only told me to get what I wished and she would pay for this.

I want nice things which will last for a long time, but I do not want to take the advantage of DA. 

With love,
~Cat


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## Katie H (Oct 15, 2013)

CatPat said:


> I looked at the Le Creuset website, and I did like the colors! I think I shall mix them also if I get them. Le Creuset is cast iron! I did not know of this! I shall speak of this to DA. The set I am seeing is over $1,000.00. That may be too expensive for DA. I was not told of how much I can spend. She only told me to get what I wished and she would pay for this.
> 
> I want nice things which will last for a long time, but I do not want to take the advantage of DA.
> 
> ...



Cat, there are less expensive vendors for LeCreuset so do some sleuthing and get more for your money.  As I said earlier, there are outlets for such things, even LeCreuset.


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## CatPat (Oct 15, 2013)

Katie H said:


> You have a very daunting, and fun, task ahead of you.  I've had Corelle since before my children were born, which was in the early '70s.  I still have many of the dishes.  My current Corelle is something called Summer Blush, but it has been discontinued.  It has pretty pastel pansies as the border on the plates.
> 
> Our "good" china consists of three different patterns, of which I've collected for nearly 30 years.
> 
> ...



Oh I wish you could, Katie! Your table is beautiful! I love the pretty plates and the flatware. How beautiful this is! 

I shall look to these links you have given me. Thank you so very much! You have given me very much help. 

When I looked at your photo, I felt as if I was invited to sit down at your table and have a wonderful meal! This is what I want others to feel.

With love,
~Cat


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## Dawgluver (Oct 15, 2013)

Oh my, Cat!  When I was your age, and in college, I had a few battered aluminum pots and pans, a cheap nonstick frying pan, and a few mismatched plates, bowls, and cups!  Oh, and some cheap Libby glassware.  I bought my first dish set for 8 after I got married, we didn't have a formal wedding and no gift registry.  I have one nice set of Noritake, and no formal or china set.

Some of this stuff,  it might be better to wait until when you get married.  No need to rush!

I love my Cuisinart SS, along with my cast iron hand-me-downs.

Gorgeous tablescape, Katie!


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## Katie H (Oct 15, 2013)

Cat, I guess the pictures below demonstrate why I don't have holiday dishes.  i like to create an "environment" for my holiday tables and this one for our family in 2011 was all rich blue, white, crystal and silver.

I forgot to add earlier that I also have a service for 12 of china(?) that's all clear glass, which makes it easy to design 'scapes of my liking.

In the photos, I made the napkins, decorated the cobalt glass napkin rings, filled the hurricanes with crystals for the silver candles, and made the centerpiece.

Each plate had a silver charger under it and the wine glasses sat on flat silver snowflake coasters, which were really ornaments that I clipped the hanging loop off.

The napkins were made out of fabric that had a rich blue background, white and silver snowflakes printed on.  I sewed a rolled edge on them using silver metallic thread.

I wanted lots of wintery shimmer and sparkle.  I used mirror tiles down the center of the table and sprinkled acrylic "diamonds" randomly on the tabletop.

The guests took as many of the diamonds as they wished as a favor of the event.  The granddaughters loved it!


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## GotGarlic (Oct 15, 2013)

CatPat said:


> I looked at the Le Creuset website, and I did like the colors! I think I shall mix them also if I get them. Le Creuset is cast iron! I did not know of this! I shall speak of this to DA. The set I am seeing is over $1,000.00. That may be too expensive for DA. I was not told of how much I can spend. She only told me to get what I wished and she would pay for this.
> 
> I want nice things which will last for a long time, but I do not want to take the advantage of DA.
> 
> ...



Le Creuset cookware is enameled cast iron; their bakeware is ceramic. 

You don't necessarily have to buy an entire set at once. Sets often come with pieces you seldom or never use, so it can be more cost-effective to buy a few pieces to start with. You can always add more later.


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## GotGarlic (Oct 15, 2013)

Katie, your holiday table is gorgeous. Really lovely.


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## Dawgluver (Oct 15, 2013)

GotGarlic said:


> Katie, your holiday table is gorgeous. Really lovely.



+1!!


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## CatPat (Oct 15, 2013)

Dawgluver said:


> Oh my, Cat!  When I was your age, and in college, I had a few battered aluminum pots and pans, a cheap nonstick frying pan, and a few mismatched plates, bowls, and cups!  Oh, and some cheap Libby glassware.  I bought my first dish set for 8 after I got married, we didn't have a formal wedding and no gift registry.  I have one nice set of Noritake, and no formal or china set.
> 
> Some of this stuff,  it might be better to wait until when you get married.  No need to rush!
> 
> ...



It is what I thought also. DA and Mamma say that to our traditions, the wife has the makings of the home and the husband buys the home.

But I will also have my own home! DA's home will be mine. But her kitchen and dining things will be going to others of family. 

I know you have nice things, Dawgluver. Noritake dishes are very nice!

With love,
~Cat


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## CatPat (Oct 15, 2013)

Katie H said:


> Cat, I guess the pictures below demonstrate why I don't have holiday dishes.  i like to create an "environment" for my holiday tables and this one for our family in 2011 was all rich blue, white, crystal and silver.
> 
> I forgot to add earlier that I also have a service for 12 of china(?) that's all clear glass, which makes it easy to design 'scapes of my liking.
> 
> ...



Oh my! How beautiful, Katie! You are so very creative! These remind me of Mamma's tables. She is creative also. She does very much with just simple things.

I want to sit at your table!

With love,
~Cat


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## Dawgluver (Oct 15, 2013)

Traditionally here, Cat, before you get married, you register at a bunch of high-end (expensive) stores, listing all the stuff you would like, then people who are invited to your wedding buy you that stuff and either send it to you before the wedding or drop it off at one of the inlaw's places.  It's nice, you get to pick out all the things you want.  

I'm wondering if your tastes will change if/when before you get married.  It might be best to get the bare minimum right now, like a nice set of everyday dishes, and save the expensive stuff for later.


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## CatPat (Oct 15, 2013)

I shall look of outlets and of estate sales. I do want Calphalon frying pans. DA has these and they are wonderful!

And I like cast iron and stainless steel. To be honest, I like the cast iron DA and Mamma have. It is just black.

With love,
~Cat


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## CatPat (Oct 16, 2013)

Dawgluver said:


> Traditionally here, Cat, before you get married, you register at a bunch of high-end (expensive) stores, listing all the stuff you would like, then people who are invited to your wedding buy you that stuff and either send it to you before the wedding or drop it off at one of the inlaw's places.  It's nice, you get to pick out all the things you want.
> 
> I'm wondering if your tastes will change if/when before you get married.  It might be best to get the bare minimum right now, like a nice set of everyday dishes, and save the expensive stuff for later.



Oh no! People invited to weddings have to buy things for you? I do not know of this! 

In our family, the bride comes with everything for a house and the groom pays for the house, or of the rent of it. No one who is invited to the wedding has to buy gifts! The wedding is a celebration with food and much dancing.

That is very odd! It seems to not be right to ask for things such as this.

I am not sure I like this custom.

With love,
~Cat


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## Dawgluver (Oct 16, 2013)

CatPat said:


> Oh no! People invited to weddings have to buy things for you? I do not know of this!
> 
> In our family, the bride comes with everything for a house and the groom pays for the house, or of the rent of it. No one who is invited to the wedding has to buy gifts! The wedding is a celebration with food and much dancing.
> 
> ...



I'm thinking you may get a few marriage proposals, Cat!  Most prospective husbands here don't like the registry part either, unless it's from Home Depot, and if you bring along all the household goods, they'd be thrilled.

Weddings here also have much food and dancing.


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## taxlady (Oct 16, 2013)

CatPat said:


> Oh no! People invited to weddings have to buy things for you? I do not know of this!
> 
> In our family, the bride comes with everything for a house and the groom pays for the house, or of the rent of it. No one who is invited to the wedding has to buy gifts! The wedding is a celebration with food and much dancing.
> 
> ...


Cat, the gifts are traditional. The registry isn't so much asking people for stuff, as letting them know which patterns and things you would like.

That way, when someone buys you one serving dish, it's part of the same pattern as other people are buying for you. You don't get some hideous pattern that they, not you, like. 

When I got married, we didn't bother with the registry, but I was 47 and Stirling was 33 and we already had homes and stuff. Our friends asked for a list, so I tried to make a conservative list. They got together and bought us a very nice, expensive espresso machine. We use it every day.


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## CatPat (Oct 16, 2013)

Dawgluver said:


> I'm thinking you may get a few marriage proposals, Cat!  Most prospective husbands here don't like the registry part either, unless it's from Home Depot, and if you bring along all the household goods, they'd be thrilled.
> 
> Weddings here also have much food and dancing.



Oh I hope I do not get many of these! Being married is very far from me. If I go to be married, I will not do this registry. 

The boys of my college seem to be of very shallow. Some are very arrogant. I have no interest of these.

With love,
~Cat


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## CatPat (Oct 16, 2013)

taxlady said:


> Cat, the gifts are traditional. The registry isn't so much asking people for stuff, as letting them know which patterns and things you would like.
> 
> That way, when someone buys you one serving dish, it's part of the same pattern as other people are buying for you. You don't get some hideous pattern that they, not you, like.
> 
> When I got married, we didn't bother with the registry, but I was 47 and Stirling was 33 and we already had homes and stuff. Our friends asked for a list, so I tried to make a conservative list. They got together and bought us a very nice, expensive espresso machine. We use it every day.



Oh I see. Your friends went together for this. That is different. 

I think I shall avoid the gifts of my wedding so I do not get something hideous. We shall just have food and dancing. All this other sounds of too much trouble!

With love,
~Cat


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## GotGarlic (Oct 16, 2013)

CatPat said:


> Oh I see. Your friends went together for this. That is different.
> 
> I think I shall avoid the gifts of my wedding so I do not get something hideous. We shall just have food and dancing. All this other sounds of too much trouble!
> 
> ...



It's a pretty ingrained tradition to give people presents to help celebrate their wedding. We don't have a tradition of princesses with dowries and all that  And if you're working, it's likely your presumably American husband will expect you to contribute to the household expenses.

If you don't register, you are likely to receive gifts anyway. Years ago, before there were registries, people would get three toasters and two mixers and so on. Then the trouble becomes returning the extras!


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## CWS4322 (Oct 16, 2013)

CatPat said:


> I will start with the casual and the holiday dishes. Mamma and Papa are coming for the holidays and I need my table to look as very festive for them. With Papa here, he can carry DA down the steps to my lair so we can eat together at my table.
> 
> My table seats of eight people. DA said a set for eight people is proper to start with. DA has a very large formal dining room. Maybe Mamma can help me find the good dishes later.
> 
> ...


I personally hate eating off of Corelle dishes--they seem to have a film on them. I have two sets of Wedgewood stoneware. And another set of dishes, so yes, I have 5 sets of dishes...seems a bit excessive for two people...two sets of stainless flatware and one set of sterling flatware.

The Le Creuset is cast-iron with enamel. It has a lifetime guarantee. And it will last not only your lifetime, but your children's lifetimes as well. Lodge cast iron is good--I have several pieces of that as well.


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## GotGarlic (Oct 16, 2013)

I'm not crazy about Corelle, either, to be honest. My everyday dishes are inexpensive stoneware that look like this: https://www.google.com/search?q=whi...&ei=T6BeUtv9NvbF4AOQzIHABw&start=40&sa=N#i=19


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## CharlieD (Oct 16, 2013)

If you want something simple and durable and you are on the budget, I say go to COSTCO. You will find everything you need there for a very reasonable price. Find somebody with the membership who can take you once. As the matter of fact this where I am going next, after I finish braking the rest of the original dishes we've had since we got married.


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## CharlieD (Oct 16, 2013)

CatPat said:


> Oh no! People invited to weddings have to buy things for you? I do not know of this!
> 
> In our family, the bride comes with everything for a house and the groom pays for the house, or of the rent of it. No one who is invited to the wedding has to buy gifts! The wedding is a celebration with food and much dancing.
> 
> ...


 
Interesting. Though some of that sounds familiar I have never heard of people not bringing presents. Russians a lot of time simply bring money as presents so new couple could buy whatever they want.


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## Katie H (Oct 16, 2013)

Cat, part of the reasoning behind giving newlyweds wedding gifts is to help them start their household.  In earlier days, young couples began married life with very little and these generous gifts gave them a foundation to build on themselves.

Today, however, it is quite different.  Many young people are waiting to marry later and both most likely have their own established jobs, which means they have income and have been able to purchase things for themselves.  It isn't uncommon for couples to already have doubles of some household items because of this.  As a result, some of what those who are about to be married put what appear to be unusual or ultra-luxury items on their registries.

I'm on the fence about registries.  There are pros and cons to them.

When I give wedding gifts they are usually something that I make sure is very personal to the couple being married.  In other words, if I know they are into cooking, I'll make a special recipe file of a collection of my recipes that include everything from super simple to elegant fare.  I hand-write them, clearly, on pretty little cards and put them in a lovely book or decorative recipe box.

Perhaps they like to bake breads.  Then, I will put together some of my favorite yeast recipes and include them with some bread pans, etc.

You get the idea.


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## GotGarlic (Oct 16, 2013)

This is a better picture of my everyday dishes:


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## GotGarlic (Oct 16, 2013)

Katie H said:


> Cat, part of the reasoning behind giving newlyweds wedding gifts is to help them start their household.  In earlier days, young couples began married life with very little and these generous gifts gave them a foundation to build on themselves.
> 
> Today, however, it is quite different.  Many young people are waiting to marry later and both most likely have their own established jobs, which means they have income and have been able to purchase things for themselves.  It isn't uncommon for couples to already have doubles of some household items because of this.  As a result, some of what those who are about to be married put what appear to be unusual or ultra-luxury items on their registries.
> 
> ...



I do the same. One year I gave someone several jars of herbs from my garden along with recipes. Another year I gave a couple a nice piece of artwork from a local artist. But many people rely on a registry.


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## CarolPa (Oct 16, 2013)

In my area, people usually get gifts at bridal showers.  For the wedding, most people put money in a card.  It used to be that bridal showers were for dish towels, kitchen utensils, and other inexpensive things.  Now people get their sheets, towels, dishes and cookware, small kitchen appliances etc at the bridal showers.  Many people use the money from the wedding toward their honeymoon, since they already have everything else they need for the house.

*Cat*, the wedding as you explain it is what I have heard of years ago.  The bride was expected to bring a dowry to the marriage.  The bigger the dowry, the richer the husband.  If you have a wedding and don't want gifts, you will have to specify "No gifts, please" on the invitation, and most people will bring a gift anyway.  It is the way things are done in the US.  Maybe you will choose to go back to Romania for your wedding.  Either way, I'm sure your wedding will be beautiful.  

Different areas do it differently.  I once went to a wedding in Nebraska where the gifts were opened during the wedding ceremony and put on display in the social hall of the church.  After the ceremony, everyone went to the hall to view the gifts and have cake and coffee.  That was the reception.  Of course, this was 40 years ago.  They might not do that anymore.  

I would agree with those who say to get just what you need now....something nice, but not extravagant.  You might not be interested in the boys at your college, but when you graduate and go out into the workforce, you will meet many educated, gentlemen who are worthy of you, and you will want to be married.


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## taxlady (Oct 16, 2013)

Well put, Carol


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## CatPat (Oct 16, 2013)

CharlieD said:


> Interesting. Though some of that sounds familiar I have never heard of people not bringing presents. Russians a lot of time simply bring money as presents so new couple could buy whatever they want.



I am not Russian. In our family, we do not do this. It is a tradition of our family and this seems very odd. One does not give a couple gifts or money for it is of the bride to bring of the things of the household and it is of the groom to bring the home. These are how a couple starts with. 

The wedding is a celebration of the ceremony, food and dancing.

With love,
~Cat


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## CatPat (Oct 16, 2013)

GotGarlic said:


> It's a pretty ingrained tradition to give people presents to help celebrate their wedding. We don't have a tradition of princesses with dowries and all that  And if you're working, it's likely your presumably American husband will expect you to contribute to the household expenses.
> 
> If you don't register, you are likely to receive gifts anyway. Years ago, before there were registries, people would get three toasters and two mixers and so on. Then the trouble becomes returning the extras!



Princesses? Oh no! I am not one of these! This is confusing to me. 

Of course I shall work. And anyone who I might marry shall work and be honest or I shall put him to the recycle bin for someone else to tolerate of this.

I will not have the registries. I will have the people of my wedding just to celebrate by to eat and dance. 

Mamma says marriage is of both love and sometimes hard work, but it is all wonderful. 

I do not need three toasters. Uckk!

With love,
~Cat


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## CatPat (Oct 16, 2013)

Katie H said:


> Cat, part of the reasoning behind giving newlyweds wedding gifts is to help them start their household.  In earlier days, young couples began married life with very little and these generous gifts gave them a foundation to build on themselves.
> 
> Today, however, it is quite different.  Many young people are waiting to marry later and both most likely have their own established jobs, which means they have income and have been able to purchase things for themselves.  It isn't uncommon for couples to already have doubles of some household items because of this.  As a result, some of what those who are about to be married put what appear to be unusual or ultra-luxury items on their registries.
> 
> ...



This is very nice, Katie! But is it not the greatest gift to one for to pledge to each other all of their life?

This is what the wedding is. And of giving of each other is the only gift I think I shall want.

With love,
~Cat


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## CatPat (Oct 16, 2013)

CarolPa said:


> In my area, people usually get gifts at bridal showers.  For the wedding, most people put money in a card.  It used to be that bridal showers were for dish towels, kitchen utensils, and other inexpensive things.  Now people get their sheets, towels, dishes and cookware, small kitchen appliances etc at the bridal showers.  Many people use the money from the wedding toward their honeymoon, since they already have everything else they need for the house.
> 
> *Cat*, the wedding as you explain it is what I have heard of years ago.  The bride was expected to bring a dowry to the marriage.  The bigger the dowry, the richer the husband.  If you have a wedding and don't want gifts, you will have to specify "No gifts, please" on the invitation, and most people will bring a gift anyway.  It is the way things are done in the US.  Maybe you will choose to go back to Romania for your wedding.  Either way, I'm sure your wedding will be beautiful.
> 
> ...



Yes, thank you CarolPa! Perhaps I shall meet someone. I shall be thinking of this. I was of thinking just a holiday and festive table for now for Mamma and Papa and some good cookware.

With love,
~Cat


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## CatPat (Oct 16, 2013)

GotGarlic said:


> I do the same. One year I gave someone several jars of herbs from my garden along with recipes. Another year I gave a couple a nice piece of artwork from a local artist. But many people rely on a registry.



This is very nice! 

With love,
~Cat


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## Rocket_J_Dawg (Oct 16, 2013)

CatPat said:


> I am not Russian. In our family, we do not do this. It is a tradition of our family and this seems very odd. One does not give a couple gifts or money for it is of the bride to bring of the things of the household and it is of the groom to bring the home. These are how a couple starts with.
> 
> The wedding is a celebration of the ceremony, food and dancing.
> 
> ...


I think I understand your tradition Cat. It is very similar to the German tradition. When Mrs D and I got married she brought her dowry, which were plates, pots and pans, bedding, towels etc. Things that were given to her over the years to plan for her marriage. 
I provided the housing, which I did, and all the associated things like gardening tools, the car and repair tools.
In Germany, a church marriage isn't legal. You have to get married at the Rathaus (City Hall in front of the Burgermeister) first. Normally on a Friday, then if you wish on Saturday you can have a church wedding. 
We didn't do the church wedding part.
On the Friday evening after the Rathaus ceremony, everyone goes to a local Gasthaus for a big meal and partying but no presents are exchanged or expected from the guests.
The bride and groom are expected to be the last to leave and normally just family will drop an envelope to the bride containing money as a gift, as they leave to go home. Sometimes very close neighbors will also drop off an envelope.
In America, much like Canada, it isn't anything close to the European tradition.
Gifts, before the wedding, and during, are very much part of the celebration here. 
Something to get used to.


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## CarolPa (Oct 16, 2013)

Cat, i was reading online about Romanian wedding traditions and some of the information was similar to what you have told us and some was a little different.  Most of them did not mention gifts, but a few of them did.  Is it possible that it varies in different part of Romania?  This one website that I have linked below said that there is a lot of food, but the guests must pay for their food.  Is that true?  It did say that this was not an Orthodox wedding.

Spangles: A Romanian Wedding


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## CatPat (Oct 17, 2013)

CarolPa said:


> Cat, i was reading online about Romanian wedding traditions and some of the information was similar to what you have told us and some was a little different.  Most of them did not mention gifts, but a few of them did.  Is it possible that it varies in different part of Romania?  This one website that I have linked below said that there is a lot of food, but the guests must pay for their food.  Is that true?  It did say that this was not an Orthodox wedding.
> 
> Spangles: A Romanian Wedding



This is a very nice wedding but not of the Orthodox. In aristocratic family weddings, there is no cost of this, you do not buy a gift. The bride and the groom and their families put on the wedding. The thought is of this, that wealthy families do not give the gifts at weddings. It is understood the bride and groom are not in need of gifts.

I do not know of weddings where the guests must pay for food. But I have not ever been to a wedding so I do not know of this. Mamma will maybe know. We can ask this of her!

With love,
~Cat


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## CatPat (Oct 17, 2013)

Rocket_J_Dawg said:


> I think I understand your tradition Cat. It is very similar to the German tradition. When Mrs D and I got married she brought her dowry, which were plates, pots and pans, bedding, towels etc. Things that were given to her over the years to plan for her marriage.
> I provided the housing, which I did, and all the associated things like gardening tools, the car and repair tools.
> In Germany, a church marriage isn't legal. You have to get married at the Rathaus (City Hall in front of the Burgermeister) first. Normally on a Friday, then if you wish on Saturday you can have a church wedding.
> We didn't do the church wedding part.
> ...



This is true! We have family friends of Germany and they are only married five years. I heard of this!

With love,
~Cat


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## CatPat (Oct 17, 2013)

I have bought a tablecloth in autumn colors with matching kitchen towels. 

I am just overwhelmed of this. I have a headache of thinking of this.

Perhaps tomorrow shall be better. I am sorry, but there are too many choices for me. I feel tired tonight. 

I shall pick this up tomorrow. Please keep to giving me ideas. I appreciate of you all so very much.

With love,
~Cat


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