# In Remembrance of Our Dear Friend Buck



## Katie H

It's about 1 a.m.,  well  almost 2 a.m., Thursday here.  I just  got home from the hospital.

Our odyssey began about 6:30  p.m. on  Wednesday.  I'd arrived home from my regular day-long shopping trip into "town."  The car was unloaded and Buck and I sat down to do  our  usual porch  settin' and talk about how our day  went.

Things were going along pretty well until Buck's answers to my questions didn't match  ANYTHING I was talking about.  He then said that it seemed terribly bright outside and that he couldn't make out any detail on the house across the street.

I talked to him for a couple of seconds and he  seemed to get back on track.  However, I'd commented to  him, just before the weekend and several times during the weekend that he looked awfully "yellow," especially his eyes. 

"No, no.  I'm fine.  It's just your imagination," he said.  I wasn't convinced.

Then, again, he zoned out.  That's when I called 911 and the ambulance the the paramedics came.   THEY asked him if he noticed he was jaundiced.  All three of them said it almost in unison.

They  did some cursory examinations and when the took his blood pressure it  was 96/64!!  He has been treated for high blood pressure for years and had taken his meds today.

His forearms were also terribly bruised.  They  weren't that way when I left this morning.

They loaded him into the ambulance and we made the 30 mile trip  to the hospital.

Lots happened,  exam-wise, and here's what's up so far.  He's anemic, down two pints.  Was given a transfusion immediately.  
Also given huge transfusion of saline.  Both kidney and liver functions are way off.  Blood pressure still weird, way low.

He had  several more "episodes" in the ER where his comments didn't match what was being talked about.  Lights in the room too bright.

He is now in CCU.  I  left there a while ago.  I can't drive at night so my  brother who lives about half a mile from me came to the hospital with his wife.  Kevin drove me back in my car while Pat followed.


Tomorrow the doc has ordered a CAT scan of Buck's abdomen to see how the liver and  kidneys look and to see if there are any masses.  Oh, God forbid.  Then the doc will go from there.

Visiting hours begin at 6 a.m. and are every two hours.  Visits can only be 15 minutes long.  I don't know what I'm going  to  do.  It's so far, and with gas at $4/gallon, our funds don't allow for a lot of driving.  I'm going to have to choose very carefully.

I'm drained and a wreck.  Buck is scared out of his drawers and here I sit in this big old house...alone.

Please, everyone, Buck needs your collective prayers and  positive  thoughts.


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## csalt

Be absolutely certain Katie, that you and Buck have my thoughts and prayers from this moment until he is well again.
Try to keep your spirits up even though it's so scary.


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## Barbara L

Katie I am dropping everything and am praying hard right now.  Please let us know what you find out.  I know you have to be scared out of your mind right now.

Barbara


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## TanyaK

My thoughts and prayers are with both of you.


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## kadesma

Katie, ccu, icu..when i was in icu my daughters never left my side..be a big pain if you have to.. Please know, my prayers are with you both..stay with Buck it will wear you to the bone, but you heart and mind will feel better...And it will help keep Buck calm..Get someone close that he cares for to come help..Wish I were closer and he knew me, I'd help as often as possible..Since I'm not, my thoughts are there with you both.
cj


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## Barbara L

I was thinking the same thing cj.  I couldn't imagine them not letting you stay with him Katie.  But until you can get back there, is there someone nearby who could come stay with you (or better yet, bring you back to the hospital)?   Don't worry about waking them up.  Call someone who can help you.

Barbara


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## Katie H

Except for my brother, there really isn't anyone nearby.  Our dearest friend is out of town 600 miles away and won't be back for a couple of days.

I've been calling the hospital to check on Buck because when I left his BP was 90/28.  I called a few minutes ago and it's back up to 120/50.

I'm going to have to "do" this by myself.  I just have to figure out how.

Thanks for all your wonderful thoughts.  I'll print them out and show them to Buck tomorrow.


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## Barbara L

I'm glad his blood pressure is better.  As hard as it may be to do, you need to try to get some rest.  Take a warm bath, then either lie in bed or sit in a comfortable recliner if you have one.  And remember you are never truly alone.  My prayers are not just for Buck, but that you will feel peace while you are waiting.  

Barbara


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## Katie H

Barbara, I'm near tears and just can't sit still.  I've already done 2 loads of laundry and know I need to get to bed, but can't bring myself to get in it alone.

In the 32 years we've been together, there have only been a couple of days we've been apart.  Even when he had back surgery, I slept in the chair in his room.   Responsibilities at home and at our shop have changed since then and I have to be "here," too.

I still have pounds and pounds of meats, fish and chicken that I bought that have to be dealt with, too.  Can't afford to let them go to waste.  I just have to come up with a game plan that works and is efficient.


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## Barbara L

I know what you mean Katie.  Do try to rest in a chair or on the couch now and then though.  And a warm bath might help.  Will someone be able to take you to the hospital in the morning, or will you have to drive?  It worries me to think of you driving with no sleep.  I'll be going to bed in about 30 minutes or so, but I will continue to pray for Buck and for you.

Barbara


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## Mama

Oh Katie, I'm praying for the two of you.  I don't think I could get any rest if I were in your shoes either.   

You're right, you need to come up with a game plan and get done what needs to be done and then get back to the hospital.  

I'm sure they will let you stay with him as long as you want whenever you want (just tell them that's the way it's going to be!).  It will be a lot easier to get some rest once you get back to the hospital and you can be with him.


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## redkitty

So sorry to hear this Katie, sending Buck many get well vibes.


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## elaine l

Good thoughts to you and Buck.


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## Andy M.

Katie:

I am very sad this is happening to you and Buck.  Please know you and Buck are in our thoughts.  Give our regards to Buck.


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## pacanis

My thoughts are with you and Buck, Katie. And let Buck know how we all feel, too.


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## texasgirl

OMG, Katie, honey, you know my prayers and thoughts are with you!! Please, let us know asap. Take care of yourself too, you can't help him if your wiped out. love and hugs!!


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## simplicity

Both of you are in my prayers.


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## Barb L.

Prayers and good thoughts have been sent for Buck and yourself.


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## urmaniac13

I am so sorry to hear this.  Sending loads of positive vibes and best wishes in your way all the way from Rome.  Get well soon Buck!!


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## GotGarlic

Katie, I'm so sorry to hear this. I'll be thinking of you both. You're a strong woman - I know you can do what's necessary. Best wishes to you and Buck.


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## suziquzie

I hope everything will be ok. Sending prayers and best wishes.


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## Loprraine

Katie, you and Buck are in my thoughts and prayers.


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## expatgirl

Katie, you are not doing this by yourself-----we at DC are here to bolster and support you-----maybe Buck contracted some form of hepatitis----they have treatments for that---hang on as best as you can.........are there some nearby hotels that you can stay at for a few days so that you don't have to travel so far??---Some are willing to give compassionate discount rates if they know the situation.....if you can then I know that you have neighbors who will be more than willing to take care of your babies.  I apologize for not going thru all the threads but as soon as I read the first page I skipped to the last to post so if any of this has been repetitious I apologize.......all my hugs and prayers are with you


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## quicksilver

I don't know what to say. I feel helpless for you, other than my prayers for both your well being and strength.
Just know, although we cannot be there, we're all parying for the both of you.
Your doctor can make sure they allow you to stay longer than stated hours. Put your foot down if you have to.
They must know family presence helps in comfort and getting well.

Don't run around like a nut, and zone out yourself at home if you have to, otherwise you'll end up there, next to him.
​


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## JoAnn L.

Sending my love and prayers to Buck and to you. God Bless you both.


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## QSis

Katie, please keep us posted on how you and Buck are doing.  

Sending positive energies your, and his, way!

Lee


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## Alix

Katie, we are with you all the way my dear friend. I know you are torn in a couple directions now, but just do the necessities and shut down everything else you can to be with Buck. Prayers of peace for you Katie. 

Please tell Buck we are praying for him, and that we are missing him here a lot. Prayers for skilled doctors for him and for rapid and complete healing.


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## GB

I am sending you both all of my positive energy. You are absolutely in my thoughts and prayers! Stay strong Katie. Buck is a strong man and even stronger because of your love.


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## Uncle Bob

Miss Katie...
Both you and Buck will be in my daily prayers...Just know that we are there with you...close your eyes and feel our support...you are not alone!


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## Adillo303

Katie - Our prayers and west wishes are with you. AC


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## Jeekinz

Be strong Katie, Buck will get through it.


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## kitchenelf

Katie!!  I'm sitting here praying hard my friend!  Please let Buck know that I am sending him all of my best thoughts and prayers.  {{{{{{{{{Katie E.}}}}}}}}}}} hugs to you!!!  Buck's in good hands.  You're smart to come up with a plan.  It may be that you spend a few days camping out at the hospital...brother feeding cats maybe?  

Please know we are here for you Katie - call me if you need to.


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## LadyCook61

Prayers for you and Buck..


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## In the Kitchen

*Suddenly!*

Seems like these things happen suddenly.  So out of control with your emotions and thoughts.  Everything stops when a loved one is in this kind of situation.  One thing, you must be with him always.  Let him know that you are there and will be there until things get straightened out.  This only renews my own worries that happen in the past.  All I did was constantly hang onto my bible and read faithfully.  I needed help and found relief in the words that were written.  I am praying that you too find the comfort that you need and also that your precious love will be helped.  You must be the strong one now.  Being together as long as you have makes it especially hard since you know one another so well, which is blessing.  I am looking forward to hear what the results are and wish you both strength and support in this anxious hour.


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## bethzaring

Katie, you, Buck and your entire family are in my thoughts and prayers.

I know this will be really hard, but you must take care of your self too..eat and rest as you can..


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## buckytom

i'll say a decade of the rosary this afternoon for buck, and you, k.t.e.

when it's some as dear as buck, you gotta get the big guns out.


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## Angie

Oh Katie, I'm thinking of you and Buck!  Prayers and good thoughts coming your way!


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## pdswife

Hugs to you and buck.


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## middie

Omg I'm so sorry you both are going through this. Sending your whole family love and prayers for a speedy recovery. Tell Buck we love and miss him and we're awaiting his return.


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## sattie

Katie, I'm hoping and praying sweetie!  We need Buck to come back and play with us!!!!  Much love and prayers to you and Buck!


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## miniman

Hi Katie

Just caught this. I am thinking & praying for you. You are not doing this alone, we are here in strength to support you. We can't be there physically but we are mentally and sending you strength in prayers.

Ray


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## Fisher's Mom

Oh Katie, my heart is breaking for you. Everyone who knows you knows Buck is your other half - almost literally. It must be torture being separated from him when he is sick and to have no one else to take over the daily life responsibilities. You are the person everyone leans on and looks to for help and support. Nows the time to open up and ask for help - even if it's someone you don't know very well.

Find a neighbor or business associate or a client of Buck's or even a police officer and ask if you give them a big bag of cat food, will they feed your kitties daily. All they can do is say no but I'm sure someone will be glad to do something to help. Sometimes others need a chance to do the giving and you have to receive. Otherwise I'm afraid _you_ won't be able to hold up physically, sweetie.

As far as the hospital, you can probably work your way into being able to stay with him most of the time. Almost all of the larger hospitals allow this now and maybe you can help this one catch up. Ask and ask. As long as you are polite and respectful (which you always are) they will probably bend the rules for you a little.

I'm praying so hard for your Buck and you, too. Please tell him when you see him that we're all worried and to work hard to get well and come back to you and all of us.

Love,
Terry


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## Katie H

Thanks everyone.  Your comments, thoughts and prayers mean a lot. 

I'm off to the hospital.  I'll let you know later what's happening.

Love you all!!


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## MexicoKaren

Oh Katie, Katie - I hope you know how much the people on this board love you and Buck and pray for his quick recovery. I only wish we could be there with you to hug you and provide more comfort. If we could transport ourselves, you know we would be there, feeding your kittens, putting your groceries away, driving you to the hospital. I know you have a million things on your mind, but hope you can get back to us ASAP and let us know what's going on and how you are both doing. Love, Karen


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## jpmcgrew

I'm sending prayers and positive energy to You and Buck. Wish I could be there as well to do your chores. There must be somone who can jump in and help you out. Perhaps the church can help you.


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## TATTRAT

Katie, my thoughts are with you and Buck. A big hug to you, if you need anything we are a click away. Let him know we are all pulling for him!


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## Maverick2272

I just said a prayer for him as well, hope all turns out well in the end.


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## CharlieD

I hope he is ok by now, but I am sending my prayers now.


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## LT72884

HOLY CRAP.. im sorry to hear about buck.. Please keep us updated and let us know what we can do to help


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## ella/TO

Please know that I along with everyone here send you and Buck most positive thoughts and wishes for a most speedy recovery!! You're in my thoughts and I shall be coming back here to hear good news of how you two are doing.


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## Russellkhan

All my best wishes to Buck for a speedy recovery and to you for strength as you go through all this.


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## josh_swinehart

My thoughts and prayers are with You, Buck and also for those treating him. That they can find what is wrong quickly and treat it effectively. God Bless,

-Josh


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## love2"Q"

best wishes ...


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## LPBeier

Katie, I love reading your posts of you and Buck sitting outside watching the kittens, etc.  The love and closeness between you shows so very much.

I am sorry I am posting late on this but I just found this thread.  My prayers are with you both and with the doctors as well.  But be firm with the hospital staff.  I have been going through this same thing with DD and her fiance.  They can't make you leave his side.  And even if they want you to take breaks, you can go into the lounge and rest or make phone calls, etc.  But you need to be with him....for both your sakes.

I wish I was closer and could do something other than pray but you certainly have that now and as long as is needed.

But remember you are not alone - you have us.


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## Katie H

I'm back.  Arrived home about 5 p.m.  I'm whupped.

Where do I start?

So far he's had 4 units of blood  and 1 unit of platelets.  He's on a potassium chloride drip and something else to aid coagulation.  Off oxygen now.

Fortunately he's peeing  like a racehorse  now, which shows better kidney function.  Urine is still very dark and he's still passing blood in his stool.

Had an ultrasound done of his liver, in the room, this morning.  Couldn't risk taking him anywhere because his BP was still low...60/32.  They wanted to do a CAT scan of his kidneys, but couldn't because, again, the BP  was not high enough or stable enough.

The internist came in just before I left and said the ultrasound showed a small "mass" in the liver.  The doc said that is low on the list of worries until the cause of the bleeding is found.  He felt it was either in Buck's throat or his stomach, or both.  Wants do do a scope test to see, but not until the BP is better.

So here we sit.  At the mercy of the BP gods.  Doc says tomorrow may be the day for one or both tests.  I hope so.

Buck is in good spirits and said  he doesn't  feel  overly worried about what's been learned so far.  He said he feels it will all be taken care of and everything will turn out well.

Got thrown out of Buck's room, per "policy," even with Buck begging them not to.  It's a crappy policy.  However, I did persuade the late afternoon nurse to let me stay  a bit over an hour.  When I left at 4:30, his BP was  105/47.  Small improvement, but  we'll take it.

I just finished  telling  the  children.  They seemed calm, which  is good.   They have loving spouses to sound off to, so that gives me some consolation.

Now, all I have to do is to tell Buck's  94-year-old mother when I talk to here  tomorrow  night.  We always talk to her on Friday evenings and, with any luck, I'll have some additional information if  the tests get done.

I'm trashed, I'm so tired, but maybe I'll crash tonight.

Buck wanted me to let you know how much he appreciates your love, support and prayers.  It means a lot to him.  To both of us.

I'm going to  try to print off a bunch of your posts and  bring  them with me to the hospital tomorrow.


Thanks again.

P.S.  I'm out  on the front porch with my outside kitties.


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## MexicoKaren

Oh Katie, I've been checking the computer all day to see if we had heard from you. You and Buck have not been far from my thoughts during the day. Thanks for the update - I know there are many,many others longing to hear how Buck is doing - and how YOU are doing, too. The world sometimes just turns upside down in 24 hours. We should all realize that, because no one is immune - not even the really GOOD ones like you. I hope you get some real rest tonight and when you wake up in the morning, feel the arms of your DC friends around you.


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## attie

My goodness Katie, tell Buck the guys from down under are thinking of him and wish him a speedy recovery -----


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## Uncle Bob

Miss Katie...I wish I could sit you down to a big platter of fried chicken, rice & gravy, peas, cornbread and a big glass off tea!! Some chocolate ice cream for dessert too!!
Me and Buck could fight over the pully bone!!

Get some rest...!! Ya gotta keep your strength up!!


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## corazon

We are all with you both. Sending lots of warm wishes and healing hugs! 
I'll be thinking of the both of you. I hope he recovers quickly!


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## Andy M.

Katie, we appreciate the update on Buck's condition.  Sounds like the docs are doing the right things and Buck's feeling better so that's a good sign.

We will continue to keep you guys in our thoughts.  Don't forget to take cae of yourself through all this.


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## texasgirl

Take care Katie!!


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## DawnT

You and Buck are in my prayers.  Please give him and yourself a great big squeezer hug from me!!  Keep your faith and your strength up dear lady.  Love and Faith, Dawn


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## babetoo

oh my dear, the two of you must have been so scared. he is in the right place. it does seem forever before you know for sure, that things will be alright. i have been sending good wishs and thoughts to you and will continue to do so. rest, rest, rest.babe


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## LPBeier

Thanks for the update Katie.  My DH and I mentioned you and Buck in our evening prayers and will keep lifting you up.  I know it is hard, but I agree with Babe that you need to get as much rest as you can so you can be strong both for yourself and for Buck.  I hope those kitties gave you much joy this evening.  Be sure to tell Buck all about their antics when you see him tomorrow.


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## Dina

I'm praying so hard for you both.  Stay strong Katie.  He needs you very much right now.  Keep us posted any chance you get.  {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


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## meshoo96

sorry to hear about this. i will make sure he's in our prayers. please end him our best.


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## 2belucile

Katie: 
I will have you both in my prayers. Hope Buck recovers his health soon and that you have him soon at home.  And that God gives you all the strenght that you need now in this situation.


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## Michael in FtW

Katie - you and Buck BOTH have my prayers!


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## kitchenelf

Cait - every chance I get I look for an update - finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You guys have my prayers, my love, and my heart right now!  

Joe - you get better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I'm praying for you my friend!

We're here for both of you - God Bless both of you!


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## JoAnn L.

Katie, thanks so much for the update. Hoping Buck will continue to feel better everyday. May God keep you both in his loving care.


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## Essiebunny

Katie, our thoughts and prayers are with you both. 
Try to go to sleep, because you have to keep up your strength.


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## Dave Hutchins

Kate E My prayers and good thoughts are with you tonight and until Buck gets out of danger..  So very sorry you have to go through this by your self. it is no fun at all I remember quite well my late wife passing and if it wasnt for my friends from DC I don't think i would have made it as well as I did.  Hang in there and trust in G D
            Dave


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## expatgirl

Me, too, i've been a lurker all day hoping to hear good news.......I feel like y'all are family members so I care like everyone else here.....glad to hear that Buck's bp is up......the last reading sounds pretty good......I'm sure that it will continue to go upward until they feel safe enough to run all their tests........I think taking him copies of DC's posts will be a wonderful pep pill as he's dealt with the whole bunch in the past.......sorry they kicked you out of his room.........being with your kitties must be calming and relaxing after a long day however.......I know that you will keep us posted as to how he is doing.........you just take care of yourself, however......lots of hugs........debe


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## jpmcgrew

Sweet Katie, try to rest because right now there there is nothing else you can do the doctors and nurses are there to keep an eye on Buck in the mean time try to get a good nights rest and deal with your your groceries that you must freeze etc. Just relax a little knowing that all of us at DC are sending our collective prayers and positive energy to Buck and you. I believe we as a group are quite powerful because the hearts here are caring and real. Please try to sleep you need your strength and while you sleep we will worry and pray for you.
All my love and prayers.
Jackie


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## Chief Longwind Of The North

Just saw this.  I'ms so sorry that this is happening to two very wonderful people.  Katie, you know you have my prayers going out for Buck and for you.  And you know that the Man upstairs also knows what is going on.  Keep your own spirits up.  Get some rest.  Speak with others.  And most of all, get on your own knees and pray, and then listen for that still small voice of the Comforter.  He will whisper in your heart the things you need.

We love both you and Buck and hope and pray for the best for both of you.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


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## csalt

Katie E said:


> I'm back. Arrived home about 5 p.m. I'm whupped.
> 
> Where do I start?
> 
> 
> 
> .
> 
> Buck is in good spirits and said he doesn't feel overly worried about what's been learned so far. He said he feels it will all be taken care of and everything will turn out well.
> *Good to hear he's in good spirits and we all pray that 'all will be well'*
> 
> Got thrown out of Buck's room, per "policy," even with Buck begging them not to. It's a crappy policy. * sometimes I wonder if they are created with torture to loved ones in mind!*
> I'm trashed, I'm so tired, but maybe I'll crash tonight.*.I do so very much hope so. Yesterday I couldn't get back into the internet to look for your news..( frustrating) I hope things ...and policies!.. are evn better today. Much love to all the family.*


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## quicksilver

My prayers are still with you and Buck.
Thank you for your update.
Take care of yourself also. Don't you get run down.
​


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## pacanis

Thanks for the update, Katie.  I too was waiting to hear some news and it sounds like a turn for the better. Hopefully today will be even better.


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## GotGarlic

Hi, Katie. I'm glad to hear that Buck is feeling better. When I was recovering from surgery, DH brought me photos of our dog and cats (we had two at the time), which I taped to the side of my bed in the hospital. He also brought a stuffed animal black Lab, like our Pippen. It was comforting to have them with me, especially at night. I also had my cell phone with me (don't know if that's allowed in CCU), and when I couldn't sleep, I called him, even at 3 a.m. once. That helped, too.

I hope you and Buck get better news on his condition today and he continues to improve. Take care.

P.S. I just want to say, having been a patient rather often myself, that hospital visiting policies are designed to protect the patient, not torture the family. If you haven't been seriously ill, you might be surprised at how easily exhausting it is to be visited a lot, even by loving and well-meaning family.


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## Rom

Good to hear he is feeling better, wishing him a speeeeedy recovery, start planning a welcome home dinner


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## bethzaring

Oh Katie, thank you so much for keeping us updated on Buck's condition.  I hope today brings better news. Take care of yourself and Buck too! We're pulling for you..


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## VickiQ

(((Katie))) I am feverently saying prayers for Buck and you!! I will do an extra rosary today for Buck and also include you both in my meditations!!! Sending you all the love and energy I can offer, Vicki


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## JillBurgh

Shocking to hear the pain such good folks are feeling now. I can tell you're so strong and Buck is safe now in the care of professionals. It's scary and sobering to have our stable lives disrupted by illness. I will be praying for your family, as you can never have enough prayers! Katie, it is kind of you to take the time to keep us all updated on how Buck's feeling. Hopefully it's therapeutic for you, too. I only wish there was more we could do to help you out. Good luck and best wishes to get well and home to the porch soon, Buck.


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## Katie H

Just got off the phone with Buck's day nurse.  She said when she came on at 7 a.m., his BP was 90/?, but now it was 130/60.  She said they were trying to determine whether or not to do the "scope" test on his throat and stomach this morning.  The key is whether or not his BP _stays_ up.  I have my fingers crossed.  Hope when I arrive at the hospital at noon that the test will have been done.

As for me, I never got to the food last night.  Will do some of it this morning.  I stayed out on the front porch until after 8 last night.  Was treated to a spectacular lightning bug show I couldn't take my eyes off.  Plus, Miss Chief and her kittens were especially attentive.  I _know_ they sense something is amiss.

Came inside and had a supper of a roasted turkey leg, mixed veggies and a baked Vidalia onion, so you can be assured I AM eating.

Went to bed about midnight, usual time, read for a while and did sleep most of the night.

Okay, now I'd better get downstairs and feed my inside and outside children.

I'll let you know more when I get home later today.

Thanks, again, everyone for your comments, thoughts and prayers.  It helps a LOT!  You're my "family" right now.


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## buckytom

VickiQ said:


> I will do an extra rosary today for Buck


 
hey, whaddya doin'?

the rosary was _*my*_ special prayer thing for buck and katie.

ok, i'm saying *2* decades today.


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## LT72884

Katie,  You tell Buck that i expect him to give me a few cookin lessons when he gets back. Well they dont have to be lessons but at least some dang good ol recipes.. 

ill be waitin!


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## miniman

Keep strong Katie - it seems that things are on the up. We keep praying.


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## Dove

*Katie,
I am so sorry you have to go through this alone. You have the support and love of all of us here. You and Buck were shuch a comfort to me when I needed someone. I will keep you two in my thoughts, prayers and heart.
love
Marge*


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## LPBeier

Katie, I said many prayers in the night for you and Buck.  I am so thankful that you were able to get a good rest because you need to look after yourself right now or you won't be any good for Buck.  I will continue to pray for you both and look forward to your next update when you can.


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## jabbur

Dear Lord, I pray for Your loving presence to surround Buck and Katie now.  Let them know and experience your healing touch.  Guide the physicians as they care for Your child Buck and may they provide him with the best care this world has to offer.  We thank you for the wonderful example of love this couple has shown us through their marriage and the way they enjoy each other.  Give Katie the strength she needs to support her Buck.  We pray for all these things in your holy name.  Amen


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## Katie H

Thought I'd give everyone an update.  I just received a call from Buck at the hospital.  Called to tell me he was being taken to the OR to have a pacemaker implanted.  He said, during the night last night, they observed his heart stopped beating several times.

I told him I couldn't get there in time.  He said not to worry, the procedure is done under local anesthetic.  He sounded good.

No history or heart problems, but his heart may have been damaged because of severe sleep apnea many years ago.  He's been on a CPAP device for 10 years to treat the apnea.

Thank you, jabbur, your prayer was beautiful.  I'm going to have to find an extra reserve of strength somewhere.


----------



## Alix

Just close your eyes Katie and listen to the prayers for strength we are sending to you. May God hold you in the palm of his hand and you feel the blessings of the Holy spirit upon you now.


----------



## LPBeier

Katie, I am so glad you got to hear that news straight from Buck instead of the nurses.  At least you know he is at peace with this idea and I know from several friends and my Grandfather that pacemakers work.  

We will be strong for you if you can't be for yourself.  Love, prayers and hugs.


----------



## csalt

Don't be afraid. The strength *will* come to you from He who has promised that you will *never* be asked beyond your strength.
It may not feel like it just now, but it will.
In the last 8 months I have seen our neighbour become totally transformed into a valiant, courageous and totally loving and giving woman in support of her husband of 50 years. ( now disabled for the forseeable future) A clear demonstartion of how He fulfills his promises to us.
If you go into 'automatic pilot' mode, that is a safety valve so don't worry. Your friends here will do all the interceding necessary. You concentrate on keeping healthy, rested ( as much as possible) and hopeful.


----------



## LPBeier

I agree CSalt.  You know a good friend who lost her husband a few years ago said that everyone kept telling her "God never gives you more than you can handle" and she said she learned through that time that "He never gives us more than HE can handle and we are to lean on Him for our strength". I pray that for you Katie.


----------



## shortchef

I just now found this thread and now I have both of you in my prayers.  Glad they found the problem and could fix it.  I'll be thinking about you!


----------



## ChefJune

Katie Dear, don't know how I missed this thread until now. I've been praying like crazy all the while scrolling through 10 pages to get up to date.  

Sending you lots of hugs and prayers, and hope for a good outcome.  Sounds like Buck is in good hands at the hospital, and we know he is in good hands with all the prayers here.


----------



## Saphellae

Also just came online for the first time in a few days.. Katie I am so happy that they found what has been happening with Buck - the problem is on it's way to being fixed. We are all keeping you and Buck in our thoughts and praying that everything goes smoothly for Buck to return home in good health.  {{Katie}}


----------



## skilletlicker

*Been a while,*

Katie, my prayers for Buck and you have been sent.  Here's hoping he's back on the porch soon.

Bert


----------



## mudbug

(((Katie girl)))  just found this thread like others.  

You guys are in my thoughts.  Tell the nurses all they have to do is scratch his furry little head and he will perk right up.

God bless Buck and you and keep you close.


----------



## Barbara L

I haven't posted much here Katie, but I have been checking in for updates.  I'm continuing to pray for both of you.  Hopefully Buck will be up to the tests soon, and hopefully the tests will reveal nothing but good and he will soon be home porch settin' where he belongs.

Barbara


----------



## Mama

Same here Katie, continuing to pray and continuing to check for updates. Looking forward to hearing about when Buck comes home!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Aww Katie, Buck is such a brave guy. I'll be sittin' here waiting to hear how Buck the Brave came through his surgery. (BTW, I'm holding your cosmic hand till he gets home!)


----------



## Constance

Katie, dear, I feel in my heart that Buck is going to be just fine.


----------



## AMSeccia

Sending prayers of strength and healing out to both of you!


----------



## jabbur

Any news how the pacemaker surgery went?  Were they able to do any tests?  Are your kids coming to help?  Still praying for you both.


----------



## quicksilver

Miracles happen to people everyday. So why not you?
Sounds like you've had a couple already.

God bless.​


----------



## kitchenelf

Katie - if you are really still and quiet you will feel us all around you.  Give yourself a hug, squeeze extra tight, and that's from us.


----------



## ChefJune

still here, Katie, and thinking of you.  Prayers going out all day.


----------



## kadesma

Katie, it seems that with each thing I did today the two of you were right there...I've been praying for you and someone who is very dear to me got to reading about you and Buck..He has asked me to tell you he will be including you both in his prayers and wanted to know if  Buck would mind him sending you a hug..Believe me these hugs are soft and warm and include butterfly kisses..
Cade of course is the sender...
Tonight sit very still on your porch, and give close watch to the fire flies, there will be two very close together that will hover close by..we love you both.
cj and Cade


----------



## jpmcgrew

I'm still here as well. Waiting to hear from you and praying for good news.


----------



## Katie H

Well, here I am.  What a day!  I'm totally exhausted and spent.

This was the most trying of all the days so far.

Buck called late this morning to let me know the cardiologist had scheduled the pacemaker surgery immediately.  I told him there was no way I could get to the hospital in time.  He said not to worry, just get there when I could.

I arrived at the hospital at about 12:30. Spoke with the nurse and asked where Buck was.  Said he was in "procedures."  Meaning that the pacemaker was being inserted and he was having the scoping done on his throat and stomach.

Not hearing anything by 3 p.m., I called and asked for a status report.  He was still in "procedures."  I asked if I could get an educated guess as to how much longer things would take.  Answer...maybe 3 more hours.

By 4:30 I called again.  Thankfully I was told that he'd been brought back to CCU and was being hooked up to the monitors.  5:00.  5:15.  5:30.  How long does it take to hook the monitors up?  I called again.  Oh, we were just getting ready to call you.

When I went into the room, he was semi-out of it, just coming out of the anesthetic from the scope procedure.  Talking, but with his eyes closed and obviously in some amount of discomfort.  As it turned out, most of the discomfort came from his bad hip because they had to have him lie flat on his back.  And...the bed was tilted so his feet were about 20 degrees higher than his head.

Again, his blood pressure was in the dumper, but the pacemaker was doing it's job as evidenced by the images on the monitor above his bed.

He said this was the most uncomfortable day of his life, which I could understand.  I tried to get him to understand that, in time, the bed would become horizontal again and he could get some relief from the pain his hip was giving him.

He's still jaundiced and the blood pressure is being stubborn.  The best thing that he could say about today is that he was given a mug of 7-UP.  He relished that.

I'd wanted to leave at about 6 or so, but my brother called and told me to stay put because there was a line of heavy storms coming my way.  He wasn't kidding.  What a storm!!  By 6:30 it looked like midnight.  The winds began to blow and the rain, thunder and lightening came with a vengeance.  Lasted for at least 45 minutes.  Then the sun began to peek out and I took that as my signal to get out of Dodge.

I began the 30-mile drive home and, by the time I was within 5 miles of home, the sky opened up and it began again.  I was soaked to the skin by the time I reached our front door.

Oh, one thing I failed to mention, 20 minutes before I left to see Buck this morning...one of our sweet indoor kitties died.  He'd been not feeling well and, yesterday, I had a hard time finding him in the house.  Found him inside an empty cardboard box under a table.  That's an indication a cat is about to die.  They look for a place to die.  

C.J. (Casey Jones) did come out for breakfast, but shortly after went into the downstairs bathroom and tried to hide in the shower.  20 minutes later he was dead.  All I could think of was how was I going to dig into the ground to bury him.  It's been so hot and dry, the ground is like concrete.  Funny how God answers our prayers even when we don't even ask.  Tonight's storm provided more than enough rain to soften the yard.

So...my plan tomorrow is to go to see Buck at noon and let the rest of the day take care of itself.  With any luck, I'll be able to make the trip home by 4:30.  I'm wasted.


----------



## quicksilver

It's very late for you. I hope you've rested since returning home.
Sometimes I think the loved ones suffer worse than the sick, due to worry.

I'm so glad you made it home safe, but sorry about kitty.  So much trouble at once.

Big hugs and lots of prayers your way.

Thank you for letting us know. Rest and know he's in good hands.​


----------



## Barbara L

Katie, I'm sorry about your kitty, but you are right about God's timing.  I hope Buck is resting now and that tomorrow is a much better day.  James and I will be having lunch with kitchenelf and Marge tomorrow, so I'm on my way to bed now.  Can you believe it, I will be in bed before 3:00!  

I hope you have a good night.  We love you guys.

Barbara


----------



## csalt

Sometimes I think that the professionals (i.e. hospital staff) are so busy doing their job they have no time to think how stressful it is for relatives. Not being able to get the info is the *worst* kind of stress*.* I'll never forget, when DH was in surgery a year ago, I called to ask how the surgery had gone and they told me he was still in theatre because there had been complications!!!! but they could not give me any info over the phone. I didn't know what to think. I called my daughter who 'spoke' to them and 10 mins later they were on the phone giving me the info I needed and some reassurance as well. They don't have any reason to realise that driving long distances to the hospital is stressful enough in itself.







Keep your chin up. We're trying to hold it up for you!


----------



## DrThunder88

Dang, I leave for a couple days and this happens?

Best wishes, Buck and Katie.  That's some rough and scary stuff you guys are going through, if you ever need a batch of giant chocolate chip cookies (you know, for therapeutic purposes), just let me know.


----------



## texasgirl

Katie, my prayers are still with the two of you. I'm sorry about cj! Poor little guy. 
Tell Buck that we are thinking of him!!


----------



## bethzaring

keep reaching out, you are going to need any comfort you can find.  You may want to swing by the social services office at the hospital and tell them of your plight; 30 miles away, alone at home, beginning of a serious hospitalization, to see if they have any suggestions or services to help you.  You may find comfort and help in unexpected places.  Don't be afraid to ask for help.  Tell Buck we all love him, and you, and are hoping for the best.


----------



## MexicoKaren

Katie, is there someone who could be an "advocate" for you with the hospital folks? Do you know anyone who works in the hospital (anywhere) or in the health care field? My own experiences with the health care system have taught me that if you have someone who can cut through the BS and talk to the nurses using their own language it really helps. And you really should have someone by your side to be support for you. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been to hang around all day, waiting for a scrap of information and feeling so frustrated when nobody thinks to keep you informed. Obviously, you don't want to annoy them, because then you end up with _nada. _But maybe you can find someone who is wiling to be there with you and play the role of "bad cop" when it is needed. Wish I could be there to help you!

Poor Buck. I'm sure he is feeling violated, messed with, fearful. He must be a very tough guy to have been so ill, and not show any signs of it. I'm sure this will all take a turn for the better really soon, and the two of you will be back on your front porch, watching the fireflies together.

Take deep breaths, remember how much everyone here cares for you two.


----------



## Katie H

Spoke to Buck's nurse about 4:30 this morning.  She said he was sleeping and had had a bath.  I'm sure he welcomed that.

Talked to Buck about 30 minutes ago.  He was nicely alert.  Guess the anesthetic is finally out of his system.  He was eating "breakfast," which consisted of broth and other assorted liquids.  He said it was nice to finally have some food regardless of what it was.  He told me he was going to eat slowly since it'd been a while.  BP still being stubborn.  Kidney function quite low.

I'll leave here about 11:15 so I can get to the hospital by noon.  Little cooler today and cloudy.  Last night's rain was just over 1 1/2 inches.  I haven't seen a weather report for today.  I'll check the Internet radar before I leave.

I was able to finally clean and divide the 10 pounds of chicken leg/thigh quarters I bought on Wednesday.  Now they're safely in the freezer and I have a large part of the refrigerator back.

Time for breakfast and then out to the yard to bury C.J.

More later.  Love you all.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Katie, when you're there, ask if there is a patient advocate or a patient care coordinator. I'm positive there is one. Since Buck is having multiple issues, I think this would be a great ally to have in your corner. They can arrange for meetings with all the different specialists at one time. Plus, they can always get in to the CCU or any other place and will check for you at any time.

I'm so sorry that so much is happening and that you and Buck lost your sweet CJ. I got a lump in my throat reading about your kitty finding a place to die - it's true they do that. 

I'm glad to hear Buck has had a bath and some liquids. It's my own treatment plan for almost everything. But please tell him to get better soon because an _enema_ is the next step in Fisher's Moms' treatment!


----------



## legend_018

I am praying for you and Buck!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Alix

Katie, I'm sorry about CJ, its hard to lose a pet but harder still when you're so worried about Buck. It sounds as though he is improving which is good. I'll continue to pray for you both. Heal well and swiftly Buck, we miss you. And Katie, take good care of yourself sweetie, strength, energy and love to you my friend.


----------



## LEFSElover

*I really don't know where I am or how I don't see certain posts...........*

I am so sorry it's taken me forever to respond, I only just saw this right this second...

Okay before another word, I must pray.
Dear Jesus in light of this sudden illness that has come up, we sit here, all united in Your knowledge that all will be according to Your perfect will and that this family Will Be Put Back Together As It Was Before. Dear Lord, I pray you surround this family and this man and this darling woman with the Strength that only You can provide...........the Comfort that only You can give............the Peace that ony You have mastered in all of us who so strongly believe that through You, all things are possible. I praise You for hearing all of our prayers and ask that You and Your perfect Will be done now....Amen

I will pray for help for you. I will pray for strength for you and your husband too. I will pray for the doctors and nurses to be all knowing, all correct and all suited for what Buck needs right now. I hope we all pray constantly until you tell us that things are perfectly normal again.

You are in my thoughts and I am honored to pray for your family.

Please, as hard as it is and with as little extra time as we all know you don't have, keep us informed. Do you need a phone number or anyone to call so that they can report on your behalf? Let us all know....any of us would be more than willing to receive a phone call and then post for you.

God bless you and Buck..

God let's nothing happen without a reason.  I am speaking of the beloved kitty and all that it provided you and your family in the way of love.  But maybe burying that precious creature has something to do with your continued efforts for Buck.  You know when one door closes, another one opens.  Keep your faith very strong.


----------



## Essiebunny

Katie,
A couple of years ago, we went through pretty much what you are right now. It is very difficult for both of you, but things will work out. We will keep the prayers coming for you.


----------



## Katie H

Just came home to get some clothes.  The doc took me aside this afternoon and told me to call the children.  Buck has a day or days left.

I don't know when I'll be back here.  Pray.


----------



## MexicoKaren

Oh Katie. We are.


----------



## kitchenelf

Oh Katie - the hair is standing up on my head - I am so very sorry!


----------



## suziquzie

Oh God Katie I am so sorry. I don't know what to say. I will pray for better news for you..... that they are making a horrible mistake.


----------



## GB

Katie I am so so sorry!!! I wish I could be there to hug you. Please know we are all by you no matter what.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

There are no words I can say right now except that we are all praying for a miracle.


----------



## Alix

I'm sitting here with my mouth hanging open in disbelief. Katie, we are praying for you and will continue to do so. Long distance hug coming.


----------



## ChefJune

Dear Katie, the hair on the back of my neck stood right up when I read that.

Praying HARD for a miracle. 

Sending you hugs and hugs and prayers.


----------



## love2"Q"

so very sorry to hear this ...


----------



## bethzaring

i believe in miracles.  Somehow you can make it through this, we will help you


----------



## babetoo

dear friend.

no words to give, just my hand and heart go out to you . will hope they are wrong.

you need someone with you. wish i could be there. know i am there in spirit and holding your hand through this most difficult of times. 

be still my friend, you can handle this with grace and dignity for buck's sake

babe


----------



## texasgirl

OMG, I don't know what to say Katie! I''m in tears here. It's not right!! IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT!!!!!!!
Oh Katie, I'm sorry, honey. I wish with all my heart, that I lived near you!! I would be there in a second. Just know that everyone here at DC is there with you!!

OKAY EVERYONE, TIME FOR A MOMENT OF PRAYER TO AIM AT BUCK TONIGHT. AT 7:30, CENTRAL TIME, EVERYONE, STOP WHATEVER YOUR DOING, CLOSE YOUR EYES AND PUT EVERYTHING YOU HAVE INTO THAT PRAYER!!!


----------



## Mama

I have no words.  I am so very sorry.  I'll be praying at 7:30 central!


----------



## pacanis

Katie I don't know what to say.
My thoughts are still with you and Buck in whatever way they are needed.  I am so sorry the news I have just read seems to have turned for the worse, but Dr's have been wrong before.


----------



## Maverick2272

I am speechless as well, I can only continue to pray for Buck and hope for the best.


----------



## middie

I'm praying still. I sure hope the doctors are wrong. I'm in shock right now I don't know what else to say.


----------



## LPBeier

Katie, my prayers are with you and Buck but I too am speechless.  I missed the 7:30 central prayer time but am sending up as many as I can.


----------



## texasgirl

LPBeier said:


> Katie, my prayers are with you and Buck but I too am speechless. I missed the 7:30 central prayer time but am sending up as many as I can.


Just pray, I don't care what time it is. I'm still praying, but, at 8:30, I'm sending up as much as possible!!


----------



## licia

Katie, I haven't been on lately and hadn't seen this.  I am praying for you and Buck and for your family.


----------



## buckytom

no, katie.

ozzy pulled it out. so will buck.

i'm on my knees. please, god.


----------



## Essiebunny

I'm terribly sorry and of course, will continue to pray for you. I wish I could do something to help you.


----------



## LPBeier

Yes, Stacy I am praying big time!  While praying I was reminded that I have been gifted with a few (3) health miracles in my life and I have been praying that Buck receives one now.  I know they exist and the good Lord doesn't play favourites.


----------



## jeninga75

I myself just came across this thread...  My thoughts are with you...


----------



## GotGarlic

I'm so sorry, Katie. I wish there was something I could do to help you. I hope the doctors are wrong. Best wishes to you and Buck and your family.


----------



## quicksilver

Shameless, shameless tears.
My heart and my prayers are with you both.
My hands are wringing with what I can do this far away.

Please lean on whomever is reaching out to help.
And you must take care, or let others care for you as well. No one can do it alone.

Good night, dear lady.​


----------



## DietitianInTraining

I'm so sorry Katie... I just don't know what else to say... I too am praying for a miracle... Whatever you do, don't give up hope.


----------



## Andy M.

We love you Katie and are saddened by Buck's illness.


----------



## David Cottrell

Katie, I wish I had words of comfort equal to the situatipn but there are none that powerful. Prayers for you and Buck. If I had wisdom it would be yours. I have prayer.... Please allow the will of to whom we pray direct your life. Blessings be upon you and Buck.


----------



## DawnT

Katie, I am so sorry about your furry friend.  Please know that my prayers are with you and Buck forever and ever.  I am sending you both huge hugs and kisses through the air.  Did you both feel them?  They just brushed across your shoulders and across your foreheads.  Did you smell grapefruit?  That is the lotion I wear.  :>)  Love, Peace and Prayers Beyond Belief,  Dawn


----------



## Dove

*Having been through this you would think I would know what to say...but I ddon't Katie except my love is coming your way.
Marge*


----------



## JoAnn L.

Katie, may it help in some small way to know that all of us here at DC are sharing in your pain. Please know how very much you and Buck are cared about. You and Buck are in every thought and every prayer.


----------



## jpmcgrew

My dear sweet Katie I just don't don't know what to say and yet I still have hope for a miracle. I am praying and praying that things will still get better. If I can do anything, anything at all I'm at your beck and call. Just know you and Buck are one of our most loved here and please know all of us are here for you and Buck. I will still hope for the best. All my love to both of you. Jackie


----------



## LEFSElover

I am without words.   My heart is truly sick.  I have no words other than I am more than sorry for your news. I will pray with all the others here.

I don't know what words to say to you. I am sick for you. Just so sad but refuse to give up or give in.  Miracles miracles miracles miracles, on knees with Bucky, right now, all of us, let's pray please............
{{{{{{{{{BUCK }}}}}}}}}}


----------



## miniman

Thinking of you & praying.


----------



## kadesma

Please Lord, wrap your arms around your children Buck and Katie, hold them close and send them home to finish lifes journey together.
kadesma


----------



## Barbara L

Dear sweet Katie, I have been gone all day and just saw the latest heartbreaking update.  My prayers are continuing to go up for Buck and for you.  James and I are both praying.  I am praying for a miracle to happen (I fervently believe in them) and for peace for you.  If you need to talk to someone, or scream, or anything, give me a call.  I may not be able to come up with words that can help, but I can give you a shoulder and an ear.  You both have my heart.

Barbara


----------



## simplicity

Praying for God to embrace both of you at this difficult time.


----------



## LEFSElover

Dear Katie, I want you to know that while kneeling at my bed last night I asked the Lord to please awaken me all through the night to remind me to be in prayer.  He did.  To be honest, I got no sleep in our hotel room here in New Mexico.  But it was sleep not worth having anyway, as my prayers encompassed me and my thoughts were on you and your sweetheart.

Please know we are all deep in genuine thoughts and concerns for you.

I pray today brings you and Buck light...


----------



## quicksilver

Now I don't know where to respond. I responded earlier on the newer thread, but don't know where to check for word/news/miracles.
I guess I'll keep checking both since Katie originally posted here.
We should have keep it simple.​


----------



## urmaniac13

Oh dear, I am speechless.  Keep having the flashback of the communications I had with Buck and remember how he always made me smile and laugh... it is so hard to digest all this.  My very best wishes to the whole family, Katie, Buck and the children.  My heartfelt (((hugs))))


----------



## QSis

buckytom said:


> no, katie.
> 
> ozzy pulled it out. so will buck.
> 
> i'm on my knees. please, god.


 
Tom's right, Katie.

I believe, too.

Lee


----------



## csalt

This is so hard to believe. I just logged on hoping for better news. I cannot express how my heart grieves for you both. Like everyone else I sooo want them to be wrong about this.


----------



## mudbug

This is the hardest kind of news to hear.  My thoughts are with Buck and Katie.


----------



## Constance

Does anyone know which hospital Buck's at?


----------



## LEFSElover

Constance said:


> Does anyone know which hospital Buck's at?


I wondered that in the middle of the night too Constance.
Also wonder does anyone know if Katie has anyone's phone numbers?


----------



## Constance

She has mine. We were planning to get together with them some time in July.


----------



## texasgirl

Constance said:


> She has mine. We were planning to get together with them some time in July.


 
Oh Connie, don't worry, you will still get together!! I have faith!!


----------



## Fisher's Mom

I was thinking about this, too, Constance. I PM'd GB about a central mailing address (maybe one of the mods) where we could send cards, etc. I know it's expensive having someone in the hospital and since Buck is in CCU, they probably wouldn't want his phone ringing a lot, if he even has one. Plus hopefully their children are coming in today and tomorrow so it will be chaos on top of everything else. Like you, I'm feeling helpless.


----------



## LPBeier

I like the idea of a place where we can send cards, etc.  Or even a way for her to see all the prayers and well wishes here.  It might comfort her and the family at a time they need it most.


----------



## Constance

I have faith, too, Stacy. Now, we'll just have to see what the Big Guy says.


----------



## JMediger

Katie, you've both been in our prayers since your first post.  Keep faith.  Sending lots of love ...


----------



## Barbara L

Constance said:


> She has mine. We were planning to get together with them some time in July.


She has mine also, but I don't have hers.  I know the general area where they live, but I don't know the hopspital or anything.

Katie, we're still praying of course, and our Sunday school class is praying as well.

 Barbara


----------



## Michelemarie

I just saw this - I have no words to say - I wish I did. Hugs to you dear friend - you and Buck are in my prayers now - I'm so sorry - I will pray.....


----------



## expatgirl

tears are flowing.......don't know what to say.....Buck is such an integral part of DC.....it's not possible........oh, Katie, my heart wraps around you


----------



## Mrs. Cuillo

Oh my gosh Katie!!!  I am so sorry to hear about all of the troubles you have been through in the past several days!!!  You are such a strong woman to be as positive as you are being!  I will keep both you and Buck in my prayers.  Please keep us posted on how you and Buck both are doing.


----------



## Green Lady

Katie,
I've been away for awhile and just came back and saw this sad post.  I am so sorry for what you and Buck and your children are going through.  You both will be in my prayers.  Remember, God has the final word, not the doctors, as good and helpful as they might be. God is still in control even when our own world seems to be swirling around in chaos.....


----------



## babetoo

it is a hard day, wish we would hear something. i have not been able to concentrate  on anything and am near tears every minute. 

babe


----------



## ChefJune

I just came over here to see if there was any news from today.  I guess no news is good news, and I will keep on with my prayers.....

love you, Katie and Buck.


----------



## GB

Fisher's Mom said:


> I was thinking about this, too, Constance. I PM'd GB about a central mailing address (maybe one of the mods) where we could send cards, etc. I know it's expensive having someone in the hospital and since Buck is in CCU, they probably wouldn't want his phone ringing a lot, if he even has one. Plus hopefully their children are coming in today and tomorrow so it will be chaos on top of everything else. Like you, I'm feeling helpless.


Please see a thread HERE from the admin team about sending cards and other things.


----------



## quicksilver

Thanks ALIX. 


Awaiting info................​


----------



## expatgirl

me, too.........


----------



## Alix

PM one of the Admins and we will let you know what you can do.


----------



## kitchenelf

GB said:


> Please see a thread HERE from the admin team about sending cards and other things.




Please note that the word HERE in GB's post above is a link on how to help.


----------



## SierraCook

Katie, I will be thinking of you, Buck, and your family.  I am very sorry.


----------



## Maverick2272

No news? I will keep praying but I hope we hear something soon, and something good.


----------



## MexicoKaren

I was busy with company all day today, but kept excusing myself to check and see if anything new had been posted. Like others have said, I am anxious to hear from you, Katie, and at the same time, I'm holding my breath because I don't want it to be bad news. I hope you are at least no longer alone at the hospital, that the kids have arrived, and that the hospital has relaxed the rules about visiting.


----------



## quicksilver

Just stopping in after quite a few hours absence.

Dear God, I pray Katie has been allowed to stay with Buck, and that is why we haven't heard anything.​


----------



## Katie H

I'm here in the motel, across the street from the hospital, and am about to go back to be with Buck.

Supposed to meet with the doctors this morning to see how to tell Buck about his condition.  Please pray that I have strength.

The last several days have been the most stressful of my life.

I'd like to tell you all more, but I have to scoot.  Buck needs me.

Thank you all for your love and prayers.  I can't tell you how much it means to Buck and me.


----------



## suziquzie

Good to see you can be with him. 
We are all thinking of you alot.... still praying.
Thanks for checking in. Hard to know what to say, but be strong.


----------



## middie

We're not done praying Katie. We're here for you anytime day or night.
We love you both !


----------



## VickiQ

(((Katie and Buck))) Prayers continue....Love and energy, Vicki


----------



## GB

We love you both Katie and Buck!


----------



## kitchenelf

We're not done praying Katie - Holding both of you Up.


----------



## Andy M.

Katie, you and Buck are in our hearts and thoughts.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Katie E said:


> I'm here in the motel, across the street from the hospital, and am about to go back to be with Buck.
> 
> Supposed to meet with the doctors this morning to see how to tell Buck about his condition.  Please pray that I have strength.
> 
> The last several days have been the most stressful of my life.
> 
> I'd like to tell you all more, but I have to scoot.  Buck needs me.
> 
> Thank you all for your love and prayers.  I can't tell you how much it means to Buck and me.


Your heart will give you the words necessary, Katie. I can't even imagine having to contemplate this and I know nothing could ever prepare you for this. We will all be with you and Buck in spirit today, holding you up. I hope the children will be able to be there soon and you can be strong for each other and for Buck. 
Love and Peace Be To You and Yours,
Terry


----------



## pdswife

Sending some more good thoughts....


----------



## quicksilver

So glad we got a word. Thank you for the update Katie, but terrified to hear any bad news. We're not done praying for miracles yet, so keep hanging on, we're all with you.
I'm glad you could arrange to stay so close. You need as much time together, and with energy to deal.

God Bless You KATIE>
​


----------



## LEFSElover

I am so thankful for the report from Katie.
I only came on here this morning to hope there was something said from anyone knowing anything.
God bless her and God love her and Buck with what they're going through.
I don't want to be able to ever say "I know what you're going through".
Katie and Buck, yesterday while on vacation in Santa Fe, I prayed all day for you both.  Last night, the praying never stopped, God is so good to awaken me just to pray for you then puts me back into slumber.
This morning I am up praying for you both.
See?  He has to feel how much strength there is in prayer.
I know I feel much better holding the two of you up to Him.
It helps me through my day.
Bless you both and don't forget...
We're not done here...
All of us are praying and it's our blessing to do that...
Thank you for coming in and telling us a report.
I will pray for the strength of all concerned.


----------



## ChefJune

Thanks for the report, Katie.  You will know what to say when the moment arrives.

Prayers continuing all day.  

Hugs to you both.


----------



## csalt

Katie E said:


> I'm here in the motel, across the street from the hospital, and am about to go back to be with Buck.
> 
> Supposed to meet with the doctors this morning to see how to tell Buck about his condition. Please pray that I have strength.
> 
> The last several days have been the most stressful of my life.
> 
> I'd like to tell you all more, but I have to scoot. Buck needs me.
> 
> Thank you all for your love and prayers. I can't tell you how much it means to Buck and me.


 

It's so good to 'hear your voice' again and so generous hearted of you to try to send news in the midst of all your stress and heartache.
May you both be born up and strengthened by the tidal wave of loving support that has been expressed here.


----------



## AMSeccia

We have lived this, and my heart goes out to both Katie and Buck.  Being relatively new to DC, I don't have the relationship that many of you do with these folks, but the outpouring of support is a testimonial to their being wonderful people.  I do pray that God will take care of you both.


----------



## miniman

Still watching and praying. All love to you & Buck. May God give you the strength for the next few days.

Ray


----------



## jennyema

*[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[K&B]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]*

I am so very very sorry....

You both are in my thoughts and prayers.

Have strength during this most difficult of times.

Love, J


----------



## LPBeier

Oh Katie, it was so good to see your note.  I was awake and praying about the time you sent it.  As with the past couple of days I know I will find that know matter what I am doing my heart will be with the two of you in love and prayer.


----------



## Barbara L

James and I are still praying as well Katie.  You are both amazing people.  

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

Sending you lots of hugs..........


----------



## abjcooking

My prayers are with you both Katie


----------



## TATTRAT

Katie, please know you and Buck are in my thoughts...I am so sorry to hear of all this, it is really just beyond me, I am speechless.

love to you both,
Jon


----------



## JoAnn L.

My thoughts and prayers are with you both.  Sending tons of hugs.


----------



## jkath

Katie, please know that you and Buck are on my heart. I'm praying that God will hold you both tight in His arms.


----------



## Barbara L

I just spoke with Katie a few minutes ago.  She wants everyone to know how very much she and Buck appreciate everything everyone here is doing for them.  She said I could go ahead and give you the latest update.  It is not looking good, she said.  On top of the liver and kidney issues there could be some cancer.  They are getting ready to move him to a hospital in Nashville.

Please keep praying everyone.  And if you are able, please check out the other thread for how you can help financially.  It breaks my heart to see them go through this.  Even though I know Katie's heart is full of sorrow right now, she sounded so strong on the phone.  I know she is being strong for her dear husband.  I am praying for strength for both of them.

Barbara


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Thank you for posting this update, Barbara. It breaks my heart to hear this but perhaps a hospital that specializes in complex illnesses can offer them more hope for getting Buck well. That's what I'll be praying for.


----------



## LadyCook61

Barbara L said:


> I just spoke with Katie a few minutes ago. She wants everyone to know how very much she and Buck appreciate everything everyone here is doing for them. She said I could go ahead and give you the latest update. It is not looking good, she said. On top of the liver and kidney issues there could be some cancer. They are getting ready to move him to a hospital in Nashville.
> 
> Please keep praying everyone. And if you are able, please check out the other thread for how you can help financially. It breaks my heart to see them go through this. Even though I know Katie's heart is full of sorrow right now, she sounded so strong on the phone. I know she is being strong for her dear husband. I am praying for strength for both of them.
> 
> Barbara


 
thanks for the update, continuing to pray.


----------



## LPBeier

Thank you Barbara.  While it still isn't the miracle we are looking for, there is peace in knowing what is happening.  Prayers are still going up from here!


----------



## kitchenelf

Thanks Barbara!  I am continuing my prayers.


----------



## jabbur

Buck and Katie have been on my mind all weekend.  Hope the hospital transfer provides them answers.  Katie, know that all of us here are praying for you and Buck and your family.


----------



## quicksilver

Ditto what jabbur said.

BarbaraL thanks for the update.​


----------



## ChefJune

I am glad to hear they are taking him to a place where the equipment and personnel are more familiar with the unfamiliar.  Neighborhood hospitals are great for emergencies, but the big teaching hospitals are best when you are REALLY sick.

I'm hoping this will be a big help on Buck's road to recovery.

Prayers continuing without ceasing....


----------



## babetoo

thanks barb, 

even though the news is not good, it is better than being in the dark, as to what is going on. 

can't stop thinking about them and am sure neither can anyone else.

babe


----------



## Alix

Those of you who have sent a donation to Katie and Buck, I just want to let you know I sent it on to her and attached all your names to it. As long as folks send the money I will continue to send it to her. They will need all the help they can get with Katie having to stay in a motel.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Barbara L said:


> Please keep praying everyone.  And if you are able, please check out the other thread for how you can help financially.
> Barbara


Yes, if anyone has a few extra dollars this month, I know first hand how expensive it is staying with a seriously ill family member in the hospital. Especially out of town. (Probably lots of people here have been in the same situation before, too.)

Alix is handling PayPal donations so that any monetary gifts can get to Katie quickly. Obviously, our prayers are priceless and the most important gift we can give to Buck and Katie. But if you've saved a little on lunch this week and feel moved to share, PM Alix and she will get it to Katie.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Alix said:


> Those of you who have sent a donation to Katie and Buck, I just want to let you know I sent it on to her and attached all your names to it. As long as folks send the money I will continue to send it to her. They will need all the help they can get with Katie having to stay in a motel.


That's wonderful, Alix. Thank you _so_ much for taking this on. I know it will give Katie a little less to worry about.


----------



## middie

As I said on the other thread I will continue praying for Buck and Katie until he is well and home.


----------



## MexicoKaren

It is comforting to know that the doctors must feel that there is SOME hope, or they would not be transferring him to a tertiary care hospital. And if he were not more stable than he appeared to be earlier, I don't think transfer would be an option. Over the weekend, we got the impression that it was just a matter of time. No one here accepted that, and kept praying. Thanks, Barbara, for giving us this news.


----------



## Maverick2272

If we had a hospital name we could all send flowers and baskets with our prayers on it as well... fill his room with em.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

I was thinking of flowers, too, but sometimes there is no room for them in CCU or ICU.


----------



## kitchenelf

Fisher's Mom said:


> I was thinking of flowers, too, but sometimes there is no room for them in CCU or ICU.



Yes, there is usually no room.  They can be put at the nurse's station outside ICU but I'm one of those people that feel for all they are going through right now, flowers won't pay for a meal or a night in a hotel room - so......that's where my $$ are going.

Have I said how proud I am to be associated with DC?  We have an amazing group of members here...truly, my heart is lifted.


----------



## jpmcgrew

kitchenelf said:


> Yes, there is usually no room. They can be put at the nurse's station outside ICU but I'm one of those people that feel for all they are going through right now, flowers won't pay for a meal or a night in a hotel room - so......that's where my $$ are going.
> 
> Have I said how proud I am to be associated with DC? We have an amazing group of members here...truly, my heart is lifted.


 I agree. What they really need is cold hard cash. Any amount any one can spare will add up quickly. I sent money this afternoon. There is no telling how long Buck will be in the hospital and while this is going on neither one can work in their shop to make a living. So dig as deep as you can. They deserve all we can can do for them . Even if you can only afford $5.00 it still will help alot.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

jpmcgrew said:


> I agree. What they really need is cold hard cash. Any amount any one can spare will add up quickly. I sent money this afternoon. There is no telling how long Buck will be in the hospital and while this is going on neither one can work in their shop to make a living. So dig as deep as you can. They deserve all we can can do for them . Even if you can only afford $5.00 it still will help alot.


So true, JP. We are such a big community that even $5 gifts add up quickly. And you know Katie - she would never ask or complain about the financial situation during this crisis so it's a good thing she and Buck have a big family here!


----------



## Constance

Where would I send it?


----------



## kitchenelf

Constance said:


> Where would I send it?



Connie - please contact either Alix, myself, or GB via PM - thanks!


----------



## Alix

All of the money I have received for Katie and Buck has been sent as of a few minutes ago. I have to tell you I have a huge lump in my throat and I am so proud to know all of you gracious and generous people.


----------



## jpmcgrew

Alix said:


> All of the money I have received for Katie and Buck has been sent as of a few minutes ago. I have to tell you I have a huge lump in my throat and I am so proud to know all of you gracious and generous people.


 Also I'm sure Alix will be more than happy receive more money to send to Katie as people find out about this or are just waiting for their pay check etc it's never to late . Both Buck and Katie have a long road ahead and we will stay on that road with them as well as long as it takes.


----------



## kitchenelf

Yes, jp - she is sending these in "little lumps" as she receives them.  We're not done, I can feel it!  Like I said ^^^ - I have never been more proud of our members.


----------



## jpmcgrew

kitchenelf said:


> Yes, jp - she is sending these in "little lumps" as she receives them. We're not done, I can feel it! Like I said ^^^ - I have never been more proud of our members.


  This is a wonderful group of folks here. I for one am proud to be part of it.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

It's true. I've never seen prayer vigils like the one that has been going on since Buck got sick. At least, not on a non-religious site. And that people are able to share some money when times are so tight just speaks to what a special group this is.


----------



## Dove

*Yes, they can use all the help they can get. When my son was at Stanford Universety waiting for the bone marrow transplant they were paying $4,200.00 per month rent. that was on top of all the other expensess. when he passed she was left with $25,000 on her credit card.*


----------



## GB

I called the last hospital he was in and asked about flowers. They said they were not allowed in the room, but they try to arrange the flowers outside the rooms so they could be seen. I would guess that would be the same at this next hospital, but don't know for sure. Flowers are nice, but $ will help them much more. 

I want to add how amazed and honored I am to be part of this group. People have dug deep into their pockets in a time when money is tight and have been selfless and generous beyond words. I have so much respect for the membership here. All of you are amazing the way you have all pulled together during this horrible crisis. There is just so much love here.


----------



## Maverick2272

I am trying to remember the time I spent in the ICU, I had a plant buy yea not much room for anything else. We could also think about sending them to her hotel room...
Of course, send money they need for gas, meals, hotel first, but if there was any left over I think some nice flowers with a prayer or gift basket would be good.


----------



## TATTRAT

I too would like to thank those that have gone far beyond the call of duty for an e-friend/family.

As I expressed with another member, I love this family and feel as though I have known them for years when in reality, we have never met. bad things happen to great people, but it is with a community like this, here at D.C., we can show that the W.W.W. has a heart.

My thoughts and prayers go out to Katie and Buck.


----------



## Maverick2272

Kinda amazing, I have only been here about 5 months now...


----------



## DaveSoMD

Katie, I just came back after several days away and saw the thread.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and Buck.


----------



## babetoo

i have just spoken with my son on the phone. he will pray and also alert his church prayer chain. they will pray for kate and buck. 

babe


----------



## Andy R

Kate,

I am so sorry to hear about what is going on.  I've just said some prayers for Buck.  

Stay strong.

Andy


----------



## meshoo96

I haven't been on in a few days and really wish I could do more than just good thoughts and prayers. Too well, I know what it's like to watch someone go through something and have no control over it and no way to stop it. You both stay in my thoughts and I hope for a miracle for you.

I cannot help but wonder if CJ being sick has anything to do with Buck's illness or vice versa....


----------



## pot clanger

Sending love and light, healing thoughts and prayers...


----------



## quicksilver

Just checking in. Good morning all. Saying prayers already this morning.
I see no NEWS overnight. I pray that's good news and that Katie has gotten some rest.​


----------



## LEFSElover

I prayed all day yesterday.  Prayed all through the night also and much this morning already.  I hoped to come in this morning and see new information that Buck was in the new hospital.
Praying still and now...


----------



## mikki

First time I've been on in awhile and just saw this thread, Katie so sorry to hear about Buck you are both in my thoughts.
If anyone talks to Katie please tell her to ask the hotel if they have any special rates for extended stays or medical stays or any special rates that would help her out. Alot of hotel won't offer the rates, but if you ask most hotels DO have them.


----------



## kitchenelf

I was "pushed" out of bed at exactly 12:28 and slid to the floor on my knees to pray.  I really can't concentrate on much else.

The last I heard he had been moved and Katie was on her way.  I sure hope someone rode with her or better yet, someone drove her!  Prayers continue from me.


----------



## LEFSElover

mikki said:


> First time I've been on in awhile and just saw this thread, Katie so sorry to hear about Buck you are both in my thoughts.
> If anyone talks to Katie please tell her to ask the hotel if they have any special rates for extended stays or medical stays or any special rates that would help her out. Alot of hotel won't offer the rates, but if you ask most hotels DO have them.


great idea Mikki, also, if they would let a variety of us who do have hotel privilages to use ours for their stay.  Don't know if that read right.


----------



## kitchenelf

LEFSElover said:


> great idea Mikki, also, if they would let a variety of us who do have hotel privilages to use ours for their stay.  Don't know if that read right.



I understood it LEFSE - I will try to let someone know.


----------



## LEFSElover

kitchenelf said:


> I was "pushed" out of bed at exactly 12:28 and slid to the floor on my knees to pray. I really can't concentrate on much else.
> 
> The last I heard he had been moved and Katie was on her way. I sure hope someone rode with her or better yet, someone drove her! Prayers continue from me.


 God is good KE, it took Him whatever He could to promote prayer.  I've not been on my knees this much in a very long time.


----------



## Maplesparkle

I too add my thoughts and prayers for you and Buck.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Great idea Lefse. If you can post what chain of hotels she is staying in, we can all see if we have free nights or discounts. I'm pretty sure I have some deals on La Quinta Inns and I will check with other family members to see if they have points.


----------



## mikki

LEFSE- I work for Hampton Inn and Suites and for Hilton honors as long as it is reserved in the members name and whoever is staying in the room has the rewards certificate it can be used. As far as getting the certificate to the hotel for that person to use it can be faxed,with the name of who is using the room, to the hotel. As far as a Hampton Inn I know if someone were to tell me this story I don't know any of our front desk personel that would not try to help out. Someone might be able to call the hotel that she will be at and explain the situation and tell them what they want to do and the hotel can figure out how to go about it.


----------



## GB

We do not know where she is staying, but if we can find that out we will pass it on.


----------



## kitchenelf

I have a feeling that they probably know this and if it is near the hospital, as in the case when my sister was in, the hotel staff actually asks if you are staying because someone is in the hospital and reduces your rate automatically.


----------



## ChefJune

Fisher's Mom said:


> Great idea Lefse. If you can post what chain of hotels she is staying in, we can all see if we have free nights or discounts. I'm pretty sure I have some deals on La Quinta Inns and I will check with other family members to see if they have points.


 
another thing, if you book rooms on line, like through hotels.com, or my web site, YTB Travel Network - Feastivals Travel, rates are almost always lower than booking by phone or in person.


----------



## mikki

Things can also be sent to the hotel for Katie.


----------



## mikki

Very true Chefjune, the only thing about online reservations is that most of the discounts aren't available unless you call and ask.


----------



## kitchenelf

mikki said:


> Things can also be sent to the hotel for Katie.



Yes, but if people are donating $$ we have been sending it to Alix who in turn sends in "lumps" to assure Katie gets it.  Other things can be sent but the safest way to send money is like we have been doing IMHO.


----------



## mikki

I agree, but an unexpected card or flowers or whatever waiting for Katie when she gets back from the hospital will help keep her spirits up.


----------



## kitchenelf

mikki said:


> I agree, but an unexpected card or flowers or whatever waiting for Katie when she gets back from the hospital will help keep her spirits up.



Not disagreeing with that at all!  

Katie???  Our thoughts and prayers are still headed your way!


----------



## Saphellae

I prayed to God today that I could find some way to help.. I wish I could donate so badly.. I would donate everything I could.. I am running up a debt without working and I don't even have a penny to my name.. 

If there is ANYTHING those of us who can't donate can do other than pray for Buck and Katie, please let us know.  

It is heartwarming to see the community here teaming together during this unfortunate time.  

{{{{DC}}}}

My thoughts and prayers are dedicated to Katie and Buck. Keep us posted when you can !  Keep up your own strength Katie, Buck needs as much of it as he can get.


----------



## Constance

Saphellae, your prayers are more important than anything else you could give.


----------



## kitchenelf

Constance said:


> Saphellae, your prayers are more important than anything else you could give.



I couldn't agree more!!!!


----------



## Saphellae

Well those are definitely coming daily if not hourly!


----------



## LEFSElover

I have a cert for a free night at Raddison anywhere.  Would like to give it to her but don't know if it would help or not.  Also have those points for hotels I've been gathering for years.

Finances are a tough one you never know what will help and what won't.  I guess adding anything combined with anything else adds up.

I hope this is all a blur to this family very soon and they can restart their lives both celebrating good health.


----------



## jkath

Katie, more prayers over here for both Buck and you. 
hugs too.


----------



## Barbara L

I'm continuing to pray as well.  I am also praying for everyone who has anything to do with Buck's care, and everyone you have to deal with at the hospital, motel, restaurants, everywhere Katie, that their thoughts, words, and actions will all help uplift you both.

Barbara


----------



## Katie H

This'll be quick.  Buck was taken by plane yesterday afternoon to a hospital in Nashville, TN.  He didn't fare well in the transfer.  Son, Aaron, was able to be in the plane with him.

Daugher-in-law, Stacey, (Aaron's wife) drove to Nashville, so I didn't have to worry about driving.

By the time Buck got to the Nashville hospital, he had to be intubated.  His repiratory system was the strongest system, so the doctor felt it was important to preserve it.  The only thing he wanted to let us know was that, if the tube couldn't be removed, he wouldn't be able to "say" his good-byes.  I told the doc to put the tube in because I wanted Buck to have all the chances he could get.

So far a place to stay hasn't been a problem.  The hospital has an "inn" on campus for families who have critically ill members as patients.  I qualified as one of those family members.

Lots of tests have been done.  Still a BP, liver and kidney, potential cancer issue, with the addition of internal infection.  From what?  Don't know yet.  He's being given antibiotics.

He's kept mildly sedated so he doesn't pull out the tube in his throat, which means he mostly just sleeps.  I was beside him all night long last  night holding his hand and catching a few moments of sleep with my head on the rail.  Couple of times I pulled my hand a way, but he grabbed it and held tight.

Son, Chris, and his fiancee arrived about 5 a.m. today.  So here we are and this is all we know.

As for flowers, there's really no way we could have/enjoy them where Buck is now.  There's no real nurse's station, so they couldn't be put there.  Just so's ya know.

I've skimmed a lot of the last part of this thread.  I can't tell everyone how much we appreciate everyone's loving thoughts, prayers and generosity.  Our cup runneth over.

I'll try to keep you updated.

Love,

Katie and Buck


----------



## LadyCook61

((((Katie)and Buck))) thanks for the update. Continued prayers for all ...
love,
Diane


----------



## corazon

We are with you both!


----------



## Barbara L

Katie E said:


> I was beside him all night long last night holding his hand and catching a few moments of sleep with my head on the rail. Couple of times I pulled my hand a way, but he grabbed it and held tight.


We are all holding on tight to both of you in our hearts Katie and Buck.  We love you both.

Barbara


----------



## jennyema

You are both in the middle of a huge circle hug here, katie.

Love to you and Buck.  Stay Strong.

Jenny


----------



## babetoo

am so glad kids are with you and that you have a good place to stay. 

always hoping to hear only good news. 

babe


----------



## plumies

Katie, you and Buck are in my prayers and thoughts.


----------



## PytnPlace

Katie, I'm so very sorry to hear about this.  I haven't been checking in so much lately, this is the first time I've come across this thread.  Please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## ChefJune

glad to hear from you, Katie.

prayers going on.


----------



## kitchenelf

Katie - thanks for the update.  We are with you and Buck all the way!


----------



## GB

Stay strong Katie. We are right by your side.


----------



## csalt

There's nothing left to say Katie, words just don't cover it but the thoughts are non stop and each one is a kind of prayer for Buck, you, and all the family.


----------



## Maverick2272

I think having a place to stay on the hospital campus is a positive thing, as is the kids now all being there, and his reaching out to grab Katie's hand, so I will try and keep these things in mind today as I continue to think of you and pray.


----------



## mudbug

Another tent pole reporting for duty.  Sending you both much love.

mud


----------



## quicksilver

Thank you for the update Katie. With all you and Buck are going through, you took the time to think of us. Bless you dear lady, and prayers, and prayers, and prayers..........................​


----------



## MexicoKaren

Katie, thank you so much for thinking of your DC friends at this difficult time and giving us the update. And thanks for signing it from the two of you. I think I can speak for others when I say we are having a hard time coming to grips with Buck being apparently healthy one day and desperately ill the next.  I don't know how you get your mind around it. Bless your kids for hurrying to be with you, and the hospital also, for having needed accommodations. We all love you both.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Katie, I'm so glad your family was able to get there so quickly so you have each other to draw strength from. Also, it's good that you can stay in the hospital so you can be there at Buck's side whenever possible. I don't have words except that my heart is breaking that Buck is so seriously ill and had to be intubated. Knowing Buck, it must be torture not being able to talk (or crack jokes). But I'm sure he speaks to you with his eyes right now and your heart understands exactly what he's wanting to say. Give him some big, wet sloppy kisses from all of us and one for you, too. My little Fisher calls them "puppy kisses" and he swears they will fix any and all boo-boos, no matter how bad.
Love ya'll,
Terry


----------



## Constance

Feel the love, dear ones, and know that you are not alone.


----------



## DaveSoMD

Thanks for the update Katie, we are all here for you.


----------



## DawnT

Angel hugs and butterfly kisses and prayers raised to heaven above for both you and Buck.


----------



## texasgirl

God Bless !!


----------



## JoAnn L.

Katie, sending loving prayers and heartfelt thoughts.


----------



## Mama

We may not be able to physically be there for the you, Buck and your family Katie but know that our hearts and prayers are with you!


----------



## LEFSElover

Katie, oh my thank you so much for the update.  I don't think you could imagine how much we are all sitting hoping for any word.  Those seemed to be very positive to me the way I read them.

I hope the day ends with triumph.

Katie, please as dumb as this sounds, take a laptop to the hospital and read these to Buck from all of us.  Let him know how special the both of you are to us here and let him feel the power of prayer, any way you can.

Continuing in prayer and I WILL NOT STOP


----------



## Toots

Wow, I am so sorry to hear about Buck.  I haven't been on the boards too much lately so I just today saw this thread.  I can't imagine how worn down you must be Katie.  You and Buck will certainly be in my prayers tonight.


----------



## Bean208

I haven't been on here in a while and just came apon this thread.  Katie I am so sorry to hear of all you and Buck are going through.  Know that I will be praying that the Lord's healing hand would touch Buck and that you would be given strength to endure this battle you are facing!  I will also pray that the Lord would continue to provide as he already has been by opening places for you to stay throughout the past few days.


----------



## jpmcgrew

I'm still here as well and will be as long as it takes. I am saddened at what has happened to Buck but still pray and keep both of you in my thoughts. As all the others on DC I will not give up and hope for a miracle. I care very much for the both of you and wish you only the best. Jackie


----------



## Maverick2272

You know, Doctors can't account for everything. Sometimes, it is the will to live that prevails over everything they might say or predict. That and a lot of em are just afraid to be optimistic in case something does go wrong.
So, I will just assume for now they are being cautious and bet on Buck.


----------



## Alix

Ditto Maverick. I will bet on Buck and Katie anytime. Prayers are still coming for you both.


----------



## jpmcgrew

Maverick2272 said:


> You know, Doctors can't account for everything. Sometimes, it is the will to live that prevails over everything they might say or predict. That and a lot of em are just afraid to be optimistic in case something does go wrong.
> So, I will just assume for now they are being cautious and bet on Buck.


  The fact that Buck held on to Katies hand when she pulled away is a testament to their great love and I know that Buck will do all in his power to not leave her. He must be a really strong man to not notice or even mention tiny symptoms before it all crashed down on him. I know in my heart he will fight for his life and not give up and I pray all our prayers and good thoughts will only make him stronger. I hope he comes out of this whole and returns to his beloved wife to sit on the porch a long, long time.  
That's what I pray and wish for. They deserve many, many more years together.


----------



## expatgirl

Katie, as Buck reaches out for you in love and comfort and has your guiding strong spirit, we here are doing the same......we hold your other hand in warmth and love and giving you back the healing Spirit..........please know that we are holding on just as tightly and completing the circle of love all around you and your family


----------



## expatgirl

we're not letting go of your hand either


----------



## jkath

I'm still here and praying too, Katie.


----------



## Katie H

I’m back to my room and my brother, Kevin, is with me.  I can’t be alone tonight.
 
No good news to report.  About noon today Buck had a serious turn of bad events.  He removed the intubation tube and his BP took a nose dive.  This directly impacted his already damaged liver and kidneys.  As a result, he was placed in the most intense of the intensive care of the hospital.
 
He was put on continuous dialysis to keep him comfortable until…
 
We took the restricted visiting hours this evening to say our good-byes, which was quite emotional.  I haven’t cried this much and hurt so much since my daddy died in 1973.
 
Our two sons and their SOs got to spend some time with Buck.  He even squeezed their hands in recognition.
 
The remaining two sons are leaving in the morning, from Atlanta, to get here as soon as they can.  Not sure what daughter is going to do.  She’s in Los Angeles.
 
My heart hurts.


----------



## Andy M.

Katie, I can't imagine the pain you are feeling.  Know we love you and are here for you and Buck.


----------



## jkath

Oh, Katie, I wish I was there, just to sit with you all night and give you much needed hugs.


----------



## expatgirl

love hurts....I'm glad you're with family and we're with you in spirit and love, too


----------



## MexicoKaren

Dear Katie, my heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry.


----------



## Uncle Bob

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Miss Katie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


----------



## Maverick2272

**** it. Sorry guys, don't know why I keep getting so upset over this, I usually can hold it back much better.

I think for now this is what I will think about, I hope I don't offend anyone:

Katie:

"Buck and I were out on our front porch, as we always are this time of the year, enjoying the breeze and cooler temps than inside the house.

 Our outside kitties were just finishing up their supper when Tumble, one of the almost 3-month-old kittens, rocketed onto my lap. "Love me mommy!"

 Yep. Tumble and I had a long and loving "love" fest. Shortly thereafter, Shadow, jumped onto my lap for exactly the same attention.

 Life is  good  and  I KNOW I'm loved."


----------



## MexicoKaren

Buddy, don't apologize. You have a tender spirit.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Katie, I am so sorry to hear things are going so badly and quickly. I can't even imagine what this is like for you. But the thing that came to mind for me was Thank God you are the strong, loving wife and mother who faces this head on and is helping everyone to say their goodbyes. If something unthinkable should happen to any one of us, what more could we want than our lifetime help-mate by our side? I know you will do what needs to be done and take care of everyone. We will be here ready to help you when you need us. And please send our love to Buck.


----------



## Mama

Oh Katie, I'm so sorry....................


----------



## Barbara L

All I can do is cry right now.  Buck we love you.  If it is God's will that you go ahead to the other side, please believe that we love Katie and will do our best to take care of her for you, however we can.  Katie, we love you and are here for you.  I'm glad you have your family around you now.  You also have your DC family around you in spirit.  I just wish that there were more that I could do.  I haven't stopped praying.  

Barbara


----------



## Barbara L

Fisher's Mom said:


> Katie, I am so sorry to hear things are going so badly and quickly. I can't even imagine what this is like for you. But the thing that came to mind for me was Thank God you are the strong, loving wife and mother who faces this head on and is helping everyone to say their goodbyes. If something unthinkable should happen to any one of us, what more could we want than our lifetime help-mate by our side? I know you will do what needs to be done and take care of everyone. We will be here ready to help you when you need us. And please send our love to Buck.


I couldn't have said it better.

Barbara


----------



## middie

Oh God no !! Katie I'm so sorry. Just like Barbara I'm crying right now. I wish I could be there next to you. Please tell Buck we love him.


----------



## LPBeier

Oh my.  I just don't know what to say.  Here I am enjoying a joyous event with my family and Katie, you are saying goodbye to the integrel member of yours.  I agree with Terry that you are strong and if I could be half the person you are in the same situation, I would be a better person for it.  Take heart that God will look after your Buck in heaven and that Buck will not suffer there as he is now.  Know my prayers are still with you always.


----------



## ChefJune

Dear Katie:

I know I'm physically far away, but I'm wrapping my arms around you just now, in a loving, warming hug.  I wish I could take away at least some of your pain.

Lean with all your might on His Everlasting Arms.  

we all love you very much..... Buck too, of course.


----------



## Maidrite

*Katie, My Heart is heavy for Buck and You all. GOD is watching over you all, and just remember we are all here for you.......*
** 
*LOVE and Hugs Always James *


----------



## kadesma

Katie, it's all been said,now  you store each and every happy moment deeply inside..Then one day in the not to distant future, you bring those memories out and savor them.. Right now the love and sorrow the prayers and good thoughts surround that hospital like a soft cloud, peaceful and soft.
I hope you can feel it and it lifts you..Please know just how very much you and Buck are loved.
cj


----------



## texasgirl

I don't know what to say, Katie. I used to ask why he took the pure and good ones and left the nasty ones. It made no sense to me until someone said, If he took the nasty ones, it wouldn't be called Heaven. I know this is true. It doesn't take the pain away, but, it helps to know that we always have the memories of someone so beautiful and made our lives here so wonderful. If we didn't have them, what would our life be? I will be thinking of you Katie and just know, there is a lot of love here for you and although we are not there to hold your hand in person, we are in our minds.


----------



## DaveSoMD

Katie I am so sorry.  Know that you and your family are in my thoughs.


----------



## TanyaK

I'm so sorry - you're in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## csalt

It seems so unreal. You and your family must be truly shocked and traumatised by such a sudden and rapid turn of events.
Thank God your family are with you at this time. Your real family, and in spirit, your DC family.
It's so good to know that Buck is aware of those around him and that he can hear all the precious things you are saying.
Once more I pray that you  and your family be lifted up and carried by the tidal wave of love coming to you from the wonderful people here.
God be with  Buck,you and your loved ones Katie.


----------



## DawnT

Please Lord, continue to guide Katie and Buck with your loving arms around them and their family.  Cloak them with the peace they so deserve at this time.  Please let there be beautiful scenery that the family can describe to Buck as he enters his next journey in life with You.  Amen


----------



## quicksilver

I'm waking to terribly sad news. 
Oh Katie, again, with all you are going through, you still remember your family here and have kept us posted with this sad update. Thank you for that.
I'm so glad most of your family is with you now, and that Buck could manage a squeeze.

A big squeeze from me as well.
God be with you and yours all the day through.​


----------



## pacanis

Katie E said:


> My heart hurts.


 
Mine, too.
So very sorry.....


----------



## TATTRAT

Katie, there are no words to express how I feel. I am so sorry for this unfortunate series of events. though there is nothing I can do from behind a keyboard, know that you, and Buck, are in my thoughts. I am so sorry. I am glad your family is with you, and I know that the whole group could use some comforting, and your family is in my thoughts too. We are here for you.


----------



## bethzaring

Katie Dear.  I hope you can find some comfort knowing we are crying right along with you and we are sharing your burden.  This is so hard. We are with you in spirit.  Sending love and prayers..


----------



## JoAnn L.

I am so sorry Katie, sending you all love and prayers.


----------



## VickiQ

(((Katie))) I'm holding you and Buck so close in my heart as everyone here is doing.Feeling helpless, I can only send you love and energy, Vicki


----------



## suziquzie

Katie I am so very sorry. We were in town yesterday and as I looked at all the little old houses with front porches I thought of you and Buck. 
Hugs from me as well, I am terrible at knowing what to say at these times. 
I can't tell you how incredibly sad I feel for you and your family.


----------



## lulu

Katie, dearest, I had to come looking to find out.  I idn't know till I found DC that it was possible to hold peole you spoke to on a computer in such hgh regard, but you and Buck were among those who showed me just how much we could grow to care for each other.  

My love, my genuine love and prayers are always with you both and I only wish I could do more.  

(Thank you to the friends who directed me here to share my love and prayers for you with the Dcers)


----------



## GB

I have tears welling up in my eyes. As horrible as this is, at least Buck has his loved ones with him and knows how much they care. I love you guys and will keep sending my thoughts and prayers. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Katie and Buck}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


----------



## jpmcgrew

I'm speechless. Know that I carry both of you in my heart and thoughts. All my love to you and Buck. I'm crying.


----------



## pdswife

I'm sorry.  I wish I knew the right words to say.


----------



## kitchenelf

Katie, my friend.  I sit here crying with everyone else and feel blessed to have just known the essence of Buck.  That essence that comes through from reading his posts lets me know that you two had something together that was so special.  My prayers are going up....we love you Katie and we love Buck.  I can assure you our hearts hurt right along with yours.  You have got to know how much, in spirit, you are not alone.


----------



## Katie H

Called Buck's room when I got up.  No change.

The nurse gave me his wedding ring yesterday.  It's on my right hand, where it will stay.

Kevin and I have just had breakfast.  We'll be able to see Buck in about 20 minutes.

Thanks everyone.


----------



## mikki

Katie, I'm sorry about Bucks recent turn. Although you already took the time to say your goodbyes, don't give up hope!!!  There is always a chance. My thoughts are with you both.


----------



## GotGarlic

Katie, I'm so sorry to hear this news. My thoughts are with you and your family. Take care.


----------



## jkath

Katie, as I'm reading through the postings since late last night, something occurred to me: 
You and Buck have tremendously touched each of us so dearly, and the joy and love you've shown has brought us all to cherish both of you. With that amount that we here feel, how much must your friends and dear family feel? It's a staggering thought how much you are loved, by so many.

My prayers are continuing, not only for Buck, but also for your continued strength, Katie.


----------



## licia

Katie, I'm so sorry. I'm so glad you and Buck have had such a loving relationship and glad we have got to know you through the many posts. You have both added such a dimension to our lives at DC. I'm remembering all of you in my prayers.


----------



## quicksilver

The wedding ring.... the symbol of unending love, forever.

It's thunder, lightning, and raining here in the last 10 minutes. 
Even the heavens are with us.
Bless you both Katie.​


----------



## Constance

My mind is going back to the hours I spent at my daughters bedside in ICU after the doctors told me she had no chance of living. I held onto her hand and re-lived every moment of her life, and I know that's what you are doing with your beloved now, Dear Katie. 
God be with you.


----------



## QSis

Katie, there are so many eloquent posters on this forum, who very beautifully express the feelings of many of us who are not as good with words in times like this. 

I'm sure that you have even more people than you see here supporting you, even if we don't always know how to say it very well in a post.

Lee


----------



## csalt

Katie E said:


> Called Buck's room when I got up. No change.
> 
> The nurse gave me his wedding ring yesterday. It's on my right hand, where it will stay.
> 
> Kevin and I have just had breakfast. We'll be able to see Buck in about 20 minutes.
> 
> Thanks everyone.


 

That was a beautiful and sensitive gesture on the part of the nurse. Something of such significance can be an enormous support.
*Words For It by Julia Cameron*
I wish I could take language​ 
And fold it like cool, moist rags.

I would lay words on your forehead.
I would wrap words on your wrists.
"There, there," my words would say–
Or something better.
I would ask them to murmur,
"Hush" and "Shh, shhh, it's all right."
I would ask them to hold you all night.
I wish I could take language
And daub and soothe and cool
Where fever blisters and burns,
Where fever turns yourself against you.
I wish I could take language
And heal the words that were the wounds
You have no names for.​


----------



## jennyema

Katie,

I am so very sorry about Buck.  He's a gem of a man, as you are of a woman.

My love to you both and your whole family.  I will keep praying for you!

Jenny


----------



## cara

Katie..... I'm speechless with wet eyes..
haven't been around here much last time, but I never never ever expected something like this..
I alway enjoy bucks character..
I still will not believe it, will turn out well.
Buck must be strong enough...
be sure of my thoughts...


----------



## LEFSElover

this morning as I awaken I'm feeling numb.
the sadness I feel is welling up in the form of tears.
but there is a future and that's as I'll pray now.
a true and beautiful future devoid of pain anguish or sorrow.
bless these dear ones Lord.
fill their body will comfort as deep as any ocean and as pure as a first rain.
God give them hope and courage, in Your name...


----------



## Alix

Oh no. Nonono. I'm heartsick and can hardly get this down here. I'm still going to pray for a miracle. Katie, all my love to you. And please hug Buck for me.


----------



## Barbara L

Katie, 

Right before I woke up this morning I had a very long dream.  In my dream I was with you and Buck.  I really can't remember much about the dream, except that we were all just kind of hanging out at your house and workshop.  I have no idea what your house looks like, and other than a wedding photo you posted, I have no idea what you and Buck look like, but in my dream I could see you both as clear as day.  Nothing much happened in my dream, but it made me feel good to be hanging out with both of you and I didn't want the dream to end.

I'm still praying.

Barbara


----------



## pot clanger

I feel a bit awkward posting here because I'm new & you all really don't know me... it almost seems like I am intruding on your circle - but, for whatever it's worth, coming from a stranger... I first want to send my sincere heartfelt condolences to Katie & Buck and their family... and second, I would like to say that the warmth I've witnessed here on this board has renewed my faith in humanity.  * Blessings, Love & Light to All...*


----------



## Barbara L

pot clanger said:


> I feel a bit awkward posting here because I'm new & you all really don't know me... it almost seems like I am intruding on your circle - but, for whatever it's worth, coming from a stranger... I first want to send my sincere heartfelt condolences to Katie & Buck and their family... and second, I would like to say that the warmth I've witnessed here on this board has renewed my faith in humanity. *Blessings, Love & Light to All...*


No need to feel awkward.  When we say "Welcome" we mean it.  Thank you for expressing your feelings.

Barbara


----------



## mikki

pc- your not intruding, its a big family here and when you join you are part of the family.


----------



## JillBurgh

Katie- wishing you extra strength during this difficult time for your family. As you feel loved, so surely does Buck. God bless


----------



## plumies

Pot clinger, I've only been on this forum for a little while too but it doesn't take long to feel at home here, so don't feel like you're intruding.

Someone walked by my office just now and asked why I looked like I'm about to cry. I couldn't find the words to explain and finding it very hard to type right now.

Katie, I can't find the words but I am thinking about you, Buck and your family and still sending out prayers and good thoughts your way.


----------



## kitchenelf

I'm so sorry this has taken an hour but I just got home.  Katie called right around 12:00.  They have decided to pull everything and she wants everyone to know she can feel our love and arms around her.  She is just absolutely heartbroken, I can tell you that for sure!  She is so grateful for the generosity of those who have helped monetarily and can't say thank you enough because that is exactly what is needed at this time.  She can't thank everyone enough for their prayers also and like I said, she can feel our love.  She just kept saying "THANK YOU". 

Katie - I know I can speak for everyone here, our hearts are yours right now.


----------



## LadyCook61

kitchenelf said:


> I'm so sorry this has taken an hour but I just got home. Katie called right around 12:00. They have decided to pull everything and she wants everyone to know she can feel our love and arms around her. She is just absolutely heartbroken, I can tell you that for sure! She is so grateful for the generosity of those who have helped monetarily and can't say thank you enough because that is exactly what is needed at this time. She can't thank everyone enough for their prayers also and like I said, she can feel our love. She just kept saying "THANK YOU".
> 
> Katie - I know I can speak for everyone here, our hearts are yours right now.


 
Thanks for the update , Kitchenelf...   Katie.. I know somewhat of what you are going thru, had to make a similar decision for my mother.  ((big hugs)))
LC


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Oh Katie, this is such a hard thing to do. I've been there myself and it is devastating even though you know it is the right course of action. How blessed Buck is to have his family surrounding him when he moves on to the next adventure. And even though your heart is breaking, it is a privilege to stand witness to the passing of another. We are all standing with you and Buck and love you very much.
Terry


----------



## miniman

Katie in some ways I feel so far away and yet also very close. This reminds me so much of my grandfather when he went and I really want to say you are in my thoughts & prayers as you go through one of the hardest times in your life.

My love aand strength goes to you.


----------



## ChefJune

sending you love, Katie.... and peace and light.

It's such a hard decision to make.  

BIG hug.  my eyes are filled with tears.

G-d love you all.


----------



## Barbara L

Thank you for the update.

Dear Katie, no words can express all I want to say.  I have been praying for healing, but as we talked about the other day, this is just another type of healing.  Buck will no longer be in pain.  I am praying that God will wrap you in His loving arms and help you through this.  I pray that He gives you the strength to go on, knowing that Buck is with Him, and that all the wonderful memories you have built up with Buck will put a smile on your face or make you laugh whenever you feel like it is all too much to bear.  And remember that we will be there for you as well.  We love you.

Barbara


----------



## quicksilver

Oh, Katie. I'm so sorry you had to bring us this update.

Pounding my chest, feeling your pain.

Peace, dear lady.​


----------



## cara

Can't believe what I'm reading....
Katie, you can be sure, lots of thoughts and prayers are with you at this moment - and with buck.
I wish you all the strength you need to get through this..


----------



## csalt

In the midst of this heartache I am just so glad that you all had time to be with Buck and say everything you wanted to say.
" May the choirs of Angels come to greet him and lead him to paradise; May the Lord enfold him in his mercy and grant him eternal rest"


----------



## babetoo

oh dear kate, i am so sorry you had to make this decision. 

speaking from experience, you have a long and painful trip ahead of you. 

just know i am here to hold your hand as is everyone of us here at dc.

sharing your sorrow

babe


----------



## ChefJune

I've been thinking ever since I read the latest update..... seems incredible and unbearably sad that all this has unfolded in less than a week.

Dear Katie, please take whatever strength you need from us.  We are all here crying with you, and loving you, and sending you our good thoughts, and comfort and prayers.


----------



## sattie

I am at an absolute loss for words.... my heart is crushed and my prayers are with you and Buck, and your family.  Much love to you Katie!


----------



## jennyema

Katie:

God Bless you and your family.

Please know that we are here to help you through this incredibly hard time.

With Love, Jenny


----------



## jabbur

It is never easy to sit and wait for something to come to pass especially something you don't want to happen. May God continue to give you strength and may you and your family remain bound in His love. You already have an idea of that from the love shared between you and Buck. That wonderful affection you showed each other is but a glimmer of what awaits Buck when he meets God. Hold onto the love you share.


----------



## Saphellae

Katie, our hearts are breaking for you and your family.  Remember that if you feel yourself falling, you have hundreds of hands holding you up.  There is not much else to say that anyone has not said already, except that..

We are here for you Katie.


----------



## blissful

Prayers and positive energy going up for you and yours Katie. God Bless,~Bliss


----------



## mikki

Katie such a hard decision to make. I'm glad you have your family with you lean on them and us when you need to. So SORRY!!!!


----------



## suziquzie

I can't express how sorry I am Katie, I am just crying for you and your family. 
What a hard thing to choose, so fast, without warning. You were there for me when DH was going thru this with him mom regarding his gramma.
I'm so sorry. I wish I could do or say something better.... 
Bless you Katie. Hugs.


----------



## LPBeier

Katie, I remember like it was yesterday, the day thirteen years ago when I was about to head to the hospital to see my mother and my Dad called to say he was faced with the decision you made and wanted to know what my sister and I felt.  It was very hard but I just thought of her suffering and what she would want and it was easier.  My heart is breaking for you and your children.  But know that Buck will be at peace.  I love what Saphellae said about the hundreds of hands holding you up. 

Our prayers are still with you all and will be as long as you need us.


----------



## mudbug

Been dreading the arrival of this news and now it's here.  My heart aches for you, Katie. I'm glad the kids are with you.


----------



## TATTRAT

It is so hard to find words to say in this situation, there is nothing I can say or do, to ease the unimaginable grief you must be feeling now, Katie. I, as all the rest of us, can offer our support and an e-shoulder to lean on anytime. I am so sorry for all of this, from the bottom of my heart. I could not imagine the choices you have had to make, but you are certainly strong, and please know you and the family will remain in my thoughts.


----------



## DaveSoMD

Katie, I am so sorry that you had to make that decision.  Words cannot express what I am feeling.  As everyone here has said over and over, know that we are all here for you.


----------



## love2"Q"

really do not know what to say .. i am really sorry you had to go through this ...
just at a loss for words ..


----------



## kitchenelf

I just talked to Katie - Buck passed at 3:10 Central time.  She is going to be traveling back to KY as soon as they make all the arrangements.  She sounded whipped and in "get it done" mode.  She sends all her best and knows  that we are all sending our love and prayers.


----------



## LPBeier

Oh, my!  Tears are running down my cheeks and I am not even attempting to wipe them away.  Even though I knew they removed the tubes I admit I was still praying for a miracle.  

Katie, you have my deepest condolences and my prayers remain for you and your family.


----------



## JoAnn L.

Dear Katie and your family. Expressing sympathy is never easy. All I can say is how much we love you all and how sorry we are for your loss. God Bless you all.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Oh, Katie, I am so very sorry that you have lost your soul mate. I can't say anything that would lessen this pain but I will be keeping you and all the children in my heart and my prayers. And you know that there are so many of us here at the ready if there is anything we can do for you.
Love,
T


----------



## jpmcgrew

Oh my sweet Katie, I'm so so sorry for your loss I'm still here for you as well as the others here. I'm crying my heart out. I just don't know what to say to you to comfort you as there are no words. Just know I grieve with you and will be with you in heart and spirit for as long as it takes. Jackie.


----------



## AMSeccia

pot clanger said:


> I feel a bit awkward posting here because I'm new & you all really don't know me... it almost seems like I am intruding on your circle - but, for whatever it's worth, coming from a stranger... I first want to send my sincere heartfelt condolences to Katie & Buck and their family... and second, I would like to say that the warmth I've witnessed here on this board has renewed my faith in humanity. *Blessings, Love & Light to All...*


 
Well said pot clanger, and I wholeheartedly agree!  You cannot NOT feel the warmth and caring among these people.


----------



## middie

Even though I knew they removed the tubes I admit I was still praying for a miracle

We all were. I can't wipe away my tears either. Katie I'm so very very sorry.
Your family is in my heart and in my thoughts.


----------



## jeninga75

I'm so sorry Katie.


----------



## DaveSoMD

Katie, 
My deepest condolences to you and your family.  

Dave


----------



## mikki

Katie, I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts.


----------



## AMSeccia

I am so very sorry for your loss.  May you and your family find comfort and peace in your faith, love and memories.  I can't imagine there is a single DC member who is not offering prayers in your name today.


----------



## LadyCook61

Katie,  my deepest sympathies for your loss.    ~Diane


----------



## quicksilver

God took Buck on his last journey.
Know that we are all with you on your journey back to Ky., where you will still have our support, love and prayers.
Please be kind to yourself and give yourself the time you need to be with friends and family, and alone time. Don't be afraid to speak up for what you need. People don't know what to do sometimes, so speaking up helps all.

Safe and speedy journey, Katie & family.​


----------



## Constance

Kim and I are with you in our hearts, Katie. The Big Guy will give you the strength to get through this.
We are so very sorry.


----------



## GB

Words can not tell you how sorry I am Katie. He was a great man and we will never forget him. I wish I had more words to say, but there are none.


----------



## quicksilver

Oh, and thank you so much, Kitchenelf, for all the updates and info and efforts you've provided us, through this terrible ordeal.​


----------



## texasgirl

Oh Katie, I'm so sorry! I just don't know what else to say. love and hugs sweet lady!!


----------



## bethzaring

My Dear Katie, I offer my heart felt condolences to you and your family. Please have safe travels back to Kentucky and speak to us when you can. We will be here when you are ready.  Sending love....


----------



## Barb L.

Katie my heart is so heavy for you and the childrens loss of such a beloved Man.  He will always be near you and the kitties, with his great spirit.  Bless you and your family at this time.
                    Warm hugs, Barb L.


----------



## babetoo

as we are grieving, lets remember that she will need us even more as time goes on.

when our loved first dies, we are in a numb state and that will last for awhile. 

the real grief begins when all the people have gone home and we are faced with daily life without them. 

 i am certain many of you know this.  we need to be there for the long haul. 

we must let kate set the agenda and then back her all the way. 

sorry, when i confront situations like this, i look for a way to help.

babe


----------



## Andy M.

Katie, I am deeply sorry for your loss.  Buck was a great guy and a beloved member of our community.  I will always have fond memories of his visits here.


----------



## urmaniac13

My deepest condolences, Katie and the entire family.  Buck will be fondly remembered always as one of the nicest guys we ever met, in real life or on line, by all of us.  And the way he never failed to make us smile and laugh... R.I.P. Buck, we are all fortunate and blessed to have known you.


----------



## jennyema

[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[katie and family]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]


----------



## pacanis

So sad. In the short time I've been here and got to know Buck, I considered him one of my friends. He was down to earth and easy to joke with. When he came across an interesting link about dogs, he sent it to me knowing I would appreciate it. I will miss Buck. I'm so sorry Katie.


----------



## Bean208

Katie,

I am so sorry to hear of Buck's passing.  Know you and your family are being lifted up in prayer.  I pray that the Lord's arms would surround you in comfort as you endure this loss and that He would give you strength during this time.  

Jeanine


----------



## Ken

Katie, know that you are in our thoughts.  Deepest sympathies.


----------



## jkath

Dear, sweet, brave Katie, I hope that in the following days and weeks, you'll find some comfort when you remember how much you are loved by every friend here.

I am so very sorry and saddened by the passing of your wonderful Buck. I feel honored to have gotten to know the special and always cheerful man who adored you so.


----------



## Maverick2272

babetoo said:


> as we are grieving, lets remember that she will need us even more as time goes on.
> 
> when our loved first dies, we are in a numb state and that will last for awhile.
> 
> the real grief begins when all the people have gone home and we are faced with daily life without them.
> 
> i am certain many of you know this.  we need to be there for the long haul.
> 
> we must let kate set the agenda and then back her all the way.
> 
> sorry, when i confront situations like this, i look for a way to help.
> 
> babe



Very true, and well said Babe. Thanks.


----------



## Mama

Katie, please know that we will be here for you every step of the way.


----------



## Essiebunny

Katie,
We are so sorry for your loss. Please know that God is with you and that He and Buck are  looking down on you and your family.


----------



## kadesma

Katie,
I'm so very sorry to hear this news. The two of you had become the shining example of what marriage and love should be.You both gave delight to so many, each in your own way.We will miss Buck and hold his memory dear. You we will back and help in anyway possible..May the Lord hold Buck in his arms and make his journey warm and comforting.
cj


----------



## GotGarlic

Katie, I'm very sorry for your loss. It really is a beautiful thing to see such support and love for you in this community. We will all miss Buck and his great sense of humor. Please take care of yourself and your family.


----------



## Toots

I am so sorry Katie, there really aren't the right words to say.  I checked the boards immediately upon getting home from work tonight (can't access them at work) and I'm so sad for you.  Buck was really nice, he sent me a few PMs to find out what part of KY I lived in (and if I was a rabbit breeder!), he was a genuinely nice guy.  

My family went through a very similar experience when my step-dad passed in November.  I've seen up close how agonizing the decision is. 

The members of this community will lift you up in prayers and good thoughts.  We are here for you.  

((HUGS))
Jennifer


----------



## Aera

Katie, I am very sorry for your loss.


----------



## Adillo303

Katie - I do not really know what to say beyond - I am so sorry for your loss. While I am new here, I read your posts about the time that you spent together and I know that is how life should be. 

Keep your memories close and know that Buck is watching over you from heaven.

AC


----------



## babetoo

i have been reading posts by buck. one can see the kind , funny man that he was. a fitting memorial.

babe


----------



## texasgirl

Hey admins, maybe that could be a project for you,as a memorial,lol, I love volunteering others time. Seriously though, if someone can tell me how I could do it, I would.
Here's one. this one made me laugh until i was hurting when he posted.
*Valuable Home Remedies 
1. If You're Choking On An Ice Cube, Simply Pour A Cup Of Boiling Water Down Your Throat. Presto! The Blockage Will Instantly Remove Itself. 

2. Avoid Cutting Yourself When Slicing Vegetables By Getting Someone Else To Hold The Vegetables While You Chop. 

3. Avoid Arguments About The Toilet Seat - Use The Sink. 

4. For High Blood Pressure Sufferers ~ Simply Cut Yourself And Bleed For A Few Minutes, Thus Reducing The Pressure On Your Veins. Remember To Use A Timer. 

5. A Mouse Trap Placed On Top Of Your Alarm Clock Will Prevent You From Rolling Over And Going Back To Sleep After You Hit The Snooze Button. 

6. If You Have A Bad Cough, Take A Large Dose Of Laxatives. Then You'll Be Afraid To Cough. 

7. You Only Need Two Tools In Life - Wd-40 And Duct Tape. If It Doesn't Move And Should, Use The Wd-40. If It Shouldn't Move And Does, Use The Duct Tape. 

8. Remember - Everyone Seems Normal Until You Get To Know Them. 

9. If You Can't Fix It With A Hammer, You've Got An Electrical Problem. 

Daily Thought: Some People Are Like Slinkies - Not Really Good For Anything, But They Bring A Smile To Your Face When Pushed Down The Stairs.
__________________

*


----------



## PA Baker

Oh, dear, sweet, Katie.  I haven't been able to get on to DC for a few days and was just horrified when I found this.  I'm so sorry for you and your family.  I'll be keeping you all close in my heart and prayers.  As everyone has said, it was truly an honor to have had the chance to get to know Buck.  And the two of you were blessed to have each other.

Always know that we're here, loving you, and ready to do anything we can for you.

{{{hugs}}}


----------



## JillBurgh

I see how loved you two are  in the DC community and, as a new DC'er, I appreciate your valuable contributions to this forum as friends and mentors. Buck's contributions will live on in his dialogue here, and in the hearts of those he touched in life. My deepest condolences.


----------



## Maverick2272

texasgirl said:


> Hey admins, maybe that could be a project for you,as a memorial,lol, I love volunteering others time. Seriously though, if someone can tell me how I could do it, I would.
> Here's one. this one made me laugh until i was hurting when he posted.
> *Valuable Home Remedies
> 1. If You're Choking On An Ice Cube, Simply Pour A Cup Of Boiling Water Down Your Throat. Presto! The Blockage Will Instantly Remove Itself.
> 
> 2. Avoid Cutting Yourself When Slicing Vegetables By Getting Someone Else To Hold The Vegetables While You Chop.
> 
> 3. Avoid Arguments About The Toilet Seat - Use The Sink.
> 
> 4. For High Blood Pressure Sufferers ~ Simply Cut Yourself And Bleed For A Few Minutes, Thus Reducing The Pressure On Your Veins. Remember To Use A Timer.
> 
> 5. A Mouse Trap Placed On Top Of Your Alarm Clock Will Prevent You From Rolling Over And Going Back To Sleep After You Hit The Snooze Button.
> 
> 6. If You Have A Bad Cough, Take A Large Dose Of Laxatives. Then You'll Be Afraid To Cough.
> 
> 7. You Only Need Two Tools In Life - Wd-40 And Duct Tape. If It Doesn't Move And Should, Use The Wd-40. If It Shouldn't Move And Does, Use The Duct Tape.
> 
> 8. Remember - Everyone Seems Normal Until You Get To Know Them.
> 
> 9. If You Can't Fix It With A Hammer, You've Got An Electrical Problem.
> 
> Daily Thought: Some People Are Like Slinkies - Not Really Good For Anything, But They Bring A Smile To Your Face When Pushed Down The Stairs.
> __________________
> 
> *



I remember that post, made me laugh at a time when I needed to laugh, thank you for posting this Stacy.


----------



## MexicoKaren

Dearest Katie, I am so sorry that this came to pass. Like everyone here, we were hoping for a different outcome. I cannot imagine how alone you must feel without him. Too soon, too soon for Buck. I don't pretend to understand it and I have no words to explain it. I am so sorry.


----------



## texasgirl

I know, I laughed again out loud then cried! Dang it. I got this email today, thought it was a sign.

*I LOVE YOU!! 

YOU HAVE 20 MINUTES TO TELL 10 FRIENDS  THAT YOU LOVE THEM (INCLUDING ME)
B/C
TOMORROW'S NOT PROMISED. SO I LOVE YOU! GO!   *


----------



## Dove

babetoo said:


> as we are grieving, lets remember that she will need us even more as time goes on.
> 
> when our loved first dies, we are in a numb state and that will last for awhile.
> the real grief begins when all the people have gone home and we are faced with daily life without them.
> 
> i am certain many of you know this.  we need to be there for the long haul.
> 
> we must let kate set the agenda and then back her all the way.
> 
> sorry, when i confront situations like this, i look for a way to help.
> 
> babe


_________________________
Well said Babe. 

Katie, having been where you are now all I can do is send you lots of love and understanding. Call me anytime to talk.
I love you,
Marge


----------



## Barbara L

I just got home and came here first.  I am so sorry to hear the news I dreaded to hear.  You lost a wonderful man Katie, and I can't even begin to express how much I sympathize with you.  Your kids have lost a caring father.  We at Discuss Cooking have lost a good friend.  I loved teasing Buck and I didn't mind him teasing me.  Buck had a knack for posting exactly what I was going to say, right before I could post.  I'm really going to miss that.  

Barbara


----------



## luvs

I am so sad for you. blessings & love.


----------



## Barbara L

texasgirl said:


> Hey admins, maybe that could be a project for you,as a memorial,lol, I love volunteering others time. Seriously though, if someone can tell me how I could do it, I would...


I was actually thinking of something similar.  I would love one that showed Buck's interaction with us.  For instance, I just mentioned how Buck had a knack for saying what I was about to say before I could say it.  I "accused" him of spying on me, and he admitted that he was spying on me and starting asking about all the empties in the spare room.  He could always make me laugh.  I think something like that might be a good memorial.  Of course, we wouldn't want to do anything like this unless Katie was good with it.

Barbara


----------



## Maverick2272

True, we would want to make sure Katie would be good with it. Maybe you could start something in the Admin Area that is off limits to the rest of us, put it all together and when she is ready you can show it to her and if she approves then move it out for the rest of us to see.


----------



## LEFSElover

We just arrived home from our journey to New Mexico.  Just walked in the door, thought about preparing dinner but had to get here first.

I am sad with everyone else here.  I am so sorry.  I am also glad that it wasn't over a long period if this was to be the outcome.

I pray for comfort for all concerned and and end to this and a beginning of what's to come in the form of a new future.

I have my arms around you and yours.  Please someone, let us all know what we can do.


----------



## GrillingFool

Hey Buck, go in grace.
Katie, from another relative newcomer, 
if strength can be sent, I am sending you mine.


----------



## suziquzie

I'm so sorry Katie, you have my deepest sympathies.


----------



## LPBeier

babetoo said:


> i have been reading posts by buck. one can see the kind , funny man that he was. a fitting memorial.
> 
> babe


 
Babe, before I saw this post I also went and ready many of Buck's posts - ones I remembered fondly and others that were before my time here.  While it was hard to laugh through the tears, it was a wonderful way to remember him.  

I am also touched by the message to Buck on his visitor's page (where I added my own).  A good way to pay respects to his memory.

I really feel that this whole experience will change the DC Community as a whole and each of us as individuals.  I know I am forever changed by the last few days and I am sure I am not alone.


----------



## shannon in KS

So so sorry for your loss.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.  ((((( hugs )))))


----------



## sattie

Hi Katie... I'm so sorry sweetie. I pray that the Lord give you and your family peace. 

                                               My heart is broken.


----------



## babetoo

good night everyone, i am just numb , no tears yet. i really must stay off this computer for a while.

good night kate

babe


----------



## jpmcgrew

Dear sweet Katie, I can't add any more than what everyone else has said. I have cried all afternoon I know how deeply close you and Buck were but remember both of you will still always be close. I know in my heart Buck will be around to watch over you. He will come in your dreams to comfort you and don't be surprised when he leaves little signs to let you know he his still around to let you know that he is still by your side. I know there is not much I can do from here in New Mexico but you have my heart and prayers. I wish you all the strength you need to carry on while you deal with life without your true soul mate in the physical world. In time it will get better even though it will be bitter sweet. But again do not forget that Buck will still be with you the whole way. 
All my love, Jackie


----------



## letscook

Katie and family
My heart goes out to you
So Sorry for your loss


----------



## Dina

Katie,
I'm so sorry for your loss.  My most sincere sympathies go to you and your family.  Know that I will be praying for you for inner strength and peace.  There's no pain that God cannot heal.  Much love and hugs to you dear lady.  [[[[[[[HUGS]]]]]]]]]]


----------



## ChefJune

babetoo said:


> as we are grieving, lets remember that she will need us even more as time goes on.
> 
> when our loved first dies, we are in a numb state and that will last for awhile.
> 
> the real grief begins when all the people have gone home and we are faced with daily life without them.
> 
> i am certain many of you know this.  we need to be there for the long haul.
> 
> we must let kate set the agenda and then back her all the way.
> 
> sorry, when i confront situations like this, i look for a way to help.
> 
> babe



Thanks, Babe.  That is certainly true!

Katie dear, my heart is crying for you, and I am holding you and your family close in my thoughts and prayers.  As the dust settles, so to speak, you will find that Buck will never be far from you.  Not only in your heart, but also in your head, wherever you go.  And it will be very comforting.

Safe travels home.  We love you lots.


----------



## Maidrite

*Katie, know we are here for you anytime. I can't think right now I am so sad. GOD BLESS you and watch over you, LOVE and HUGS  ALWAYS James *


----------



## miniman

Just woke up and came to check. I'm close to tears sitting here. I too have always enjoyed Buck's posts and will miss him on the board. Katie - being far away, I feel helpless, but I am with you virtually and will pray for you.


----------



## TanyaK

Dear Katie
I'm so very sorry. My deepest condolences to you and your family. God bless.


----------



## csalt

My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

"all mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated; God employs several translators; some pieces are translated by age, some by sickness, some by war, some by justice; but God’s hand is in every translation, and his hand shall bind up all our scattered leaves again for that library where every book shall lie open to one another"  John Donne


----------



## simplicity

Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss.


----------



## abjcooking

My heart goes out to you Katie.  I'm so sorry for your loss.   I'm keeping your family in my prayers.


----------



## DawnT

My Dear Katie, May you find the strength and grace that you have always had deep inside you, keep you going through the coming days.  I know that when you see a sunset that Buck has sent it to you.  When a butterfly flitters by, he has helped it along; when the kittens jump on your lap at the end of a long day, he will be patting their little heads along with you.   I am so sorry for your loss and could not begin to fathom your pain but if I could I would gladly take it away.  Love and Prayers always,  Dawn


----------



## Angie

Oh Katie...I'm so so sorry....


----------



## Loprraine

Katie, I am so very sorry. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Lorraine


----------



## quicksilver

Stacy, thank you for that post of Buck's. I too remember that one.
And inspite of myself, I had to laugh again.

It's hard to believe, but another day has gone by.
So much the sorrow, but also, shock. I think we're all still alittle numb. I am.

Still I pray for Katie. She will need all of us, and pray that we keep reminding her, whatever she needs, someone here will be able to help her.​


----------



## VickiQ

middie said:


> Even though I knew they removed the tubes I admit I was still praying for a miracle
> 
> We all were. I can't wipe away my tears either. Katie I'm so very very sorry.
> Your family is in my heart and in my thoughts.


 Middie I was doing the same...
There are no words to express the sorrow and loss of Buck-how his words lightened our days in this family are already being missed.
To our Katie and her family I hope the love from this board will help ease your grief just a little in knowing just here alone how many people's lives Buck has touched and Katie we all love you and want to be here for you and will always be here for you. Love and energy, Vicki


----------



## QSis

I, too, went back and read some of Buck's posts last night, after I read that he had passed (I still can't believe it!)

I got a kick out of this one, posted just over a year ago, on his birthday  Discuss Cooking Forum - View Single Post - Happy Birthday, Buck!

One of Buck's legacies is his vast contribution to this forum.  He will always live in all of our hearts and minds, as threads with his posts in them keeping popping up as reminders.

Katie, I hope you stay here with us - we need you, too!

Lee


----------



## JMediger

My deepest condolences to you and your children Katie.  Our love and support are sent your way ...

"I never spoke with God
Nor visited in Heaven
Yet certain am I of the spot"
Emily Dickinson

All our love - J.


----------



## Jeekinz

R.I.P. Buck, I'll miss ya.


----------



## Alix

Katie, I'm so sorry. I just don't have the words right now. I'll post later. My love and prayers are with you my friend.


----------



## LT72884

See ya on the other side man! Continue your hard work and dedication!


God be with you till we meet again; 
by his counsels guide, uphold you, 
with his sheep securely fold you; 
God be with you till we meet again.


----------



## LPBeier

Alix said:


> Katie, I'm so sorry. I just don't have the words right now. I'll post later. My love and prayers are with you my friend.


 
Alix, there is a song I listen to that starts out "Finding myself at a loss for words, funny thing is, it's okay."

I think sometimes NOT having words to express how you feel says volumes.


----------



## cara

I know I'll miss him....
Katie, I wish you all the strength you need and a handful more...

"And at night you will look up at the stars. In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. 
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night . . . You--only you--will have stars that can laugh!"

Antoine de Saint Exupéry » The Little prince


----------



## David Cottrell

Dear Katie, May the Heavenly Father of us all bless you and your family. Buck was a champion. So are you.


----------



## Mrs. Cuillo

Katie, I am so sorry about your loss.  Please remember that you have a very supportive families that love you very much.  I will continue to keep you in my prayers though this tough time.  God bless you and your family.


----------



## expatgirl

I can't say anything now to comfort you or me........give me time.........I'm just so sorry......


----------



## Chief Longwind Of The North

Katie;
Many have said that they can't imagine how you feel at this time. I can. My parents, and step-father have all passed from mortality to the other side. Each passing felt like a huge piece of my life was ripped from me. Each one hurt, caused a moment or two of intense anger, great remorse, and even regret at things not said, and not done that should have been.

Watching the passing of a loved one is truamatic, painful, and seems impossible to deal with, and yet, we all must pass from this world eventually. I have strong religeous beliefs and a testimony of a living God who is my Father. I knew when my own family passed from this world that they weren't dead, but changed, and not available for me to see, or hear, or interact with. I also knew then, and know now, that I will be with them again, in time. But it still hurt like crazy.

With time, you too will get past the extreme grief that is in your heart. Buck was a great man, and is probably very sorrowful right now that there is so much sadness in his family. But he is also getting to be with those who passed before him. They are welcoming him, and probably asking for a great recipe or two, and sharing wonderful stories about the past lives they lived, and the new experiences that they will all have.

Be of good cheer, Katie. For the time will come when we are all reunited, and we will rejoice with our brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, mothers and fathers, and especially, with our husbands and wives. Buck isn't gone. He's just waiting for you to get to where he's at. In the meantime, live life to its fullest. Give of yoruself to others. Immerse yourself into your family. For as you interact with others, especially when you are doing something good for them, it heals you in ways that no other act can do. And it brings you closer to your Heavenly Father, and to your husband. For he gave of himself to you, his children, and to his freinds. Indeed, his wit and charm lifted people he'd never met, save through this forum. 

I won't speak of Buck in the past tense, for he isn't gone. He just isn't available to us right now.

Katie, we are all with you. And our prayers are being said for you. I believe every word I just typed, and even more, I know that they are true. Just the same, it is still a hard thing that you bear. We are here to help you bear it.

Be of good cheer my freind. Buck is waiting for your smile.

Seeeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


----------



## TATTRAT

Alix said:


> Katie, I'm so sorry. I just don't have the words right now. I'll post later. My love and prayers are with you my friend.





expatgirl said:


> I can't say anything now to comfort you or me........give me time.........I'm just so sorry......



that is exactly how I feel.

I am so very sorry, Katie.


----------



## Saphellae

Goodweed said it for everyone.  We'll all see Buck again


----------



## In the Kitchen

kitchenelf said:


> I just talked to Katie - Buck passed at 3:10 Central time.  She is going to be traveling back to KY as soon as they make all the arrangements.  She sounded whipped and in "get it done" mode.  She sends all her best and knows  that we are all sending our love and prayers.



Thanks kitchenelf, for letting us know!  How fast things can happen.  Two people who go along so well.  Why does it happen this way?  Always what I ask and wonder but one day we will all know.  If we all lived the way these two people did, I know God will take care of Katie too and give her whatever He knows is necessary.  Life is so short and we should remember this when we feel disappointed.  I sure don't know why people have to cause one another pain when we could all be gone tomorrow.  I am speaking about myself here.  I try not to treat anyone with abuse of any kind.  I treat people the way my dogs treat me.  I always use them as my example in everything.  I am praying that Katie has family who will be close and support her with this loss.  Too fast! Only time will allow her to accept it.

My prayers continue for Katie and her family.


----------



## DrThunder88

My condolences to Katie and family.  This is terrible news, but I know you can make it through.


----------



## CharlieD

Dear Katie, I so sorry to hear about this. I can't even say a word. i am so sorry ...


----------



## Green Lady

Dear Katie,

My deepest sympathy to you and your children, and also to the DC family who loved Buck so much!  He will be missed.  Katie, we hope you come back to us soon....


----------



## middie

QSis said:


> I, too, went back and read some of Buck's posts last night, after I read that he had passed (I still can't believe it!)
> 
> I got a kick out of this one, posted just over a year ago, on his birthday Discuss Cooking Forum - View Single Post - Happy Birthday, Buck!
> 
> One of Buck's legacies is his vast contribution to this forum. He will always live in all of our hearts and minds, as threads with his posts in them keeping popping up as reminders.
> 
> Katie, I hope you stay here with us - we need you, too!
> 
> Lee


 
QSis I do remember that post . He was so funny. So witty. I'm going to miss him terribly


----------



## Dove

*Dear Katie,
don't be surprised if a light turns on for no reason...this happened to me three times. A touch lamp in my bed room and I was at least 12' away from it. Then the floor lamp next to my chair came on with all the lights on high..that should have taken 5 clicks with two different switches. I was falling apart at that time..my sister had flown home and I was alone. i said " Ok Paul, I'll calm down"*


----------



## ChefJune

Dove said:


> *Dear Katie,*
> *don't be surprised if a light turns on for no reason...this happened to me three times. A touch lamp in my bed room and I was at least 12' away from it. Then the floor lamp next to my chair came on with all the lights on high..that should have taken 5 clicks with two different switches. I was falling apart at that time..my sister had flown home and I was alone. i said " Ok Paul, I'll calm down"*


 
Marge is right, Katie... and just when you least expect it, and need it most. 

sending you more hugs and prayers.


----------



## jabbur

My dear Katie and family,  there are no words of comfort when your heart is broken like yours.  Your life will be strange for a while without your porch-setting partner.  There will be many days of pain and lonliness even with others around.  No one will ever replace Buck and there will always be a place for him in your heart and in ours.  May God continue to keep you all in His love and care.  Jean Ann


----------



## josh_swinehart

My deepest condolences.

-Josh


----------



## Barbara L

Dove said:


> *Dear Katie,*
> *don't be surprised if a light turns on for no reason...this happened to me three times. A touch lamp in my bed room and I was at least 12' away from it. Then the floor lamp next to my chair came on with all the lights on high..that should have taken 5 clicks with two different switches. I was falling apart at that time..my sister had flown home and I was alone. i said " Ok Paul, I'll calm down"*


Two or three times in the months following my mom's passing, I heard her voice (clear as day) say, "Barbara."  Nothing else, I just heard my name.  I'm sure that if anyone else had been in the room they would not have heard it, but I did.  It was very comforting.  

I also have dreams now and then, in which my mom and I are together, just hanging out.  We are never doing anything exciting, just doing what we did together (eating lunch at a favorite restaurant, shopping, etc.).  Whenever I have those dreams I wake up feeling very happy, just as if I had really been given a little more time to spend with her.  With so many good memories of your life together, I'm sure that you will have similar dreams Katie.  

Barbara


----------



## virgo152

I'm very sorry


----------



## fireweaver

oh, Katie.  like a couple others here, i've been away for a while and only now saw this.  you have my deepest condolences, and add my voice to the chorus of heartfelt sympathy.  Buck is one of those wonderful warm hearts that make this forum what it is, and his words will be sorely missed.


----------



## Clienta

My thoughts & prayers are with you & your family during this most difficult time.


----------



## LEFSElover

will continue to pray, it won't stop, Katie, our hearts are yours.......


----------



## redkitty

Katie, I'm so sorry for your loss.  Buck seemed like a wonderful man and I know he will be so very missed.  Sending you many redkitty hugs.


----------



## jpmcgrew

Dove said:


> *Dear Katie,*
> *don't be surprised if a light turns on for no reason...this happened to me three times. A touch lamp in my bed room and I was at least 12' away from it. Then the floor lamp next to my chair came on with all the lights on high..that should have taken 5 clicks with two different switches. I was falling apart at that time..my sister had flown home and I was alone. i said " Ok Paul, I'll calm down"*


  I also believe this as I said before he will come in your dreams and let you know he is still with you in spirit and like Dove says he will let you know he is still with you with the little things happening in the house.  You will know it when he is letting you know he is there and it will comfort you some to know that. I know my Grand Mother who died when I was only ten years old in Germany came to me many times until I was about 38 years old. I felt her many times when I was chef at a small hotel in the Taos, NM Ski Valley she stopped me from making some major cooking mistakes and I always knew it was her why I knew it I don't know but I just did. She was a fantastic cook while she was alive


----------



## silentmeow

Katie,
I am so sorry for your loss.  Buck's passing will leave a void in our lives.


----------



## babetoo

still dealing with it. tears constantly near over flowing.  babe


----------



## David Cottrell

Mention of the dreams made me remember things forgotten, or maybe just tucked away. Yes, don't fear the dreams and there just might be some other little signs that one can't explain any other way. It's ok Katie. You will be ok.


----------



## Katie H

Got home a little while ago.  Busy day.  Began with going to the funeral home to make all the arrangements.  Whoa!  Things sure are expensive.  There will be no burial, since Buck will be cremated.  He'd wanted that.  The "urn" I selected is a box made of walnut.  I thought it was appropriate since that was his favorite wood to work in.  Plus, he'll always be with me.

Chose the pall bearers and selected a casket spray at the florist.  It will be a blanket of red roses, with eucalyptus leaves and baby's breath.

Brought his "favorite" clothes for him to wear.  He wasn't a "suit" kind of guy, so he'll be wearing a blue and white striped broadcloth shirt and tan pants.  The shirt always made his beautiful blue eyes "bluer," and accented his thick white hair.

The rest of the day was spent contacting the Office of Personnel Management to find out about my spousal benefits and to see what kind of life insurance coverage he had.

Looks like I might get hammered by the state of Kentucky because he didn't have a will.  Even though almost everything was in both our names, bank accounts can be locked.  Just peachy.

Went to my brother's house for supper and had a great time playing with my grandson.  Sharp little guy.

Tonight while we were reminiscing, we decided that we should have a birthday party on Sunday for Buck's birthday...complete with cake and ice cream.  Everyone loved the idea.  We're going to make his favorite cake tomorrow.

The "gifts" of food, etc. began this morning at about 8:30 and hasn't stopped all day.  One woman brought a container of homemade spaghetti sauce, 2 boxes of angel hair pasta, 2 large bags of salad greens, a big jar of applesauce, a carton of vanilla ice cream, and 2 homemade pecan pies.

In the middle of the afternoon, someone brought 2 huge barbecued pork butts and a half gallon of barbecue sauce.

I don't know what is on the schedule for tomorrow except that I have to get my music selections to the funeral director.  Not too much of a chore since the funeral home is just down the street from here.

Nicole just called to say she and Paul would arrive in Nashville tomorrow about 7:30 p.m. and would rent a car.  Should see them about 11 p.m.

Better run and get some shuteye so I can tackle tomorrow.

And, once again, thanks everyone for all your kind comments and support.  I can feel it.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Katie, the birthday party sounds like something Buck would have planned, too. It's definitely fitting. And his funeral arrangements sound very nice.

My father and my brother were cremated, too, as was my daughter and their ashes are at home with us. It just seemed right and it gives my mother and me comfort to have them with us. I know it will be a comfort to you, too. We also chose wooden urns and had little brass plates made for them so that years down the road, the future generations don't get us mixed up!

I'm sorry Buck didn't have a will because I know what a mess that is. My brother died without a will, too. Start asking around now for an honest and reasonable attorney who can handle probating the estate because you will probably need one. Also, they can help make sure you have access to your bank account in the mean time. This will be really taxing for you when you haven't really had any time to just grieve. Please let us know what you could use help with.

We are all thinking of you and the kids and of course, Buck. Come back when you are ready and we'll be waiting for you.


----------



## babetoo

so many details, kate. be sure and get as much rest as you can. don't feel you need to entertain everyone or see that they have food. 

though, i am sure it helps to stay busy. the friends and family can take care of themselves. if they offer to help, take that help. you will need all your strength. 

this all just still seems so unreal. is it the same for you? we all love you and hope in some small measure, to help. 

holding your hand across the miles. 

babe


----------



## texasgirl

Katie, I want to hug you so badly.
I don't understand what the state of Kentucky has to do with your bank account though. Before that happens, is there a way for you to close that one and open another in your name? I just don't understand why you would have ANY trouble when you were legally married, plus, both names on it.


----------



## Alix

TG, if I'm not mistaken, when someone dies intestate the State is normally entitled to a chunk of their money. Therefore freeze any accounts til they determine what they are going to get $ wise. Since he has a wife the amount will obviously be less, but they still want their cut. 

Katie, prayers going up for that to be swiftly dealt with.


----------



## kitchenelf

I will be removing all threads about wills and details and stuff like that.  Please feel free to repost in this thread.

Let's keep this thread what it's intended for.


----------



## JillBurgh

Katie E said:


> The "gifts" of food, etc. began this morning at about 8:30 and hasn't stopped all day. One woman brought a container of homemade spaghetti sauce, 2 boxes of angel hair pasta, 2 large bags of salad greens, a big jar of applesauce, a carton of vanilla ice cream, and 2 homemade pecan pies.
> 
> In the middle of the afternoon, someone brought 2 huge barbecued pork butts and a half gallon of barbecue sauce.


 
I'm sure that all that food won't go to waste at Sunday's birthday party. That sure is a lot! Good to keep busy and maybe you'll even get a chance to *cook.* That always helps me slip into my own thoughts and escape with myself.


----------



## Barbara L

The birthday party is a good idea!  That will be a wonderful way to share memories.

Barbara


----------



## expatgirl

I did what you suggested Kitchenelf....sorry to have gotten distracted.......not thinking right these days......too sad I guess.....

Katie, you have wonderful friends and the birthday party sounds great.........Buck will be there in spirit I know.....


----------



## expatgirl

You know Texas A&M has a wonderful tradition----every year on April 21 they have what is call to Revellie(hope I'm spelling that correctly) and any student or prof who has died during the year is remembered on that day.  The Aggies gather wherever they are and it's global someone will answer to their name when it's called out..........nonone's name is left not answered to and my nephew was able to say "Here" when his grandpa's name from the  class of 46 was called out.......it's very emotional and everyone celebrates their lives afterwards.....so it sounds like you're doing the same, Katie,


----------



## Corey123

I just now found out about all this. So sorry to hear what happened!

Katie E., my prayers and thoughts are with you. This is all a shock to me. I read most of the thread, and started crying.


----------



## Rom

I am so sorry to hear about your and your family's loss!


----------



## MexicoKaren

Thanks so much for checking in with us, Katie. We all miss you. As you go through these necessary steps, we are with you on each step, you know. So hard, so hard. I'm glad your kids are there and hope you are feeling some comfort from the many friends you surely have, both here and at home.


----------



## LEFSElover

I'll be praying to day for the day to be blessed with happiness, celebration, memories and all things good.

Wherever we are, any and all of us, at the hour of the service, we ought to say a prayer, plant a flower, sing a song, hug someone, bake a loaf of bread, something just for the occasion and in Bucks honor.  I'll be in the air on my way to Kentucky and will arrive only 250 miles from the service city.  I feel vacant that I'll be in the right state but for another event.  It's an important one that I mustn't miss.

Happy thoughts to all in here today.  I'm waiting for Katie's gift to arrive so I can send it in her direction via another....


----------



## LPBeier

Katie, I think the bithday party is a lovely idea.  I decided that for tomorrow's dessert I am going to make a small cake, and decorate it in Buck's honour.  That way I can share this with MY family.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family this weekend and always.


----------



## buckytom

katie, i've been on vacation, and have been trying all week to get dw's laptop working so i could see how buck is doing. (my system is in pieces on a coffe table in the basement)

i was finally able to log on thursday and look for this thread, but then it crashed again. probably this time from my tears.

the past few days have given me time to try to think of a way to tell you how sorry i am, from the deepest part of my heart. you have been in my thoughts constantly, but there are no words to express these feelings.

you and buck are and always will be a shining example of how great a couple could be. how precious love can be. how much of a gift we've been given by god, and how people like you and buck take that gift and show the rest of us how it's done. with grace, and humor, and respect.

thank you for sharing yourselves and your love for each other with us. because of you, an example has been set forth for us all to see and to follow.

i know buck is in heaven already, so i'll only continue to pray for you and yours, that your sadness wanes, but the memories of the greatness of a man named "buck" will continue on forever. i will miss him, until we can all meet again someday, as one.


----------



## LEFSElover

buckytom said:


> but then it crashed again. probably this time from my tears.the past few days have given me time to try to think of a way to tell you how sorry i am, from the deepest part of my heart. you have been in my thoughts constantly, but there are no words to express these feelings.you and buck are and always will be a shining example of how great a couple could be. how precious love can be. how much of a gift we've been given by god, and how people like you and buck take that gift and show the rest of us how it's done. with grace, and humor, and respect.thank you for sharing yourselves and your love for each other with us. because of you, an example has been set forth for us all to see and to follow.i know buck is in heaven already, so i'll only continue to pray for you and yours, that your sadness wanes, but the memories of the greatness of a man named "buck" will continue on forever. i will miss him, until we can all meet again someday, as one.


that was lovely Bucky, how true also...


----------



## Constance

We have a memorial party started under "Songs for Buck and Katie", if anyone wants to provide music, or virtual food and beverages.


----------



## pot clanger

I was exploring, reading through   "Dove's Kitchen Table" and found this quote from Buck:

"Hi Marge,  Just want to join in with what Katie said.  We love you and look forward to the journey.   Be well!
Buck"


----------



## ChefJune

buckytom said:


> katie, i've been on vacation, and have been trying all week to get dw's laptop working so i could see how buck is doing. (my system is in pieces on a coffe table in the basement)
> 
> i was finally able to log on thursday and look for this thread, but then it crashed again. probably this time from my tears.
> 
> the past few days have given me time to try to think of a way to tell you how sorry i am, from the deepest part of my heart. you have been in my thoughts constantly, but there are no words to express these feelings.
> 
> you and buck are and always will be a shining example of how great a couple could be. how precious love can be. how much of a gift we've been given by god, and how people like you and buck take that gift and show the rest of us how it's done. with grace, and humor, and respect.
> 
> thank you for sharing yourselves and your love for each other with us. because of you, an example has been set forth for us all to see and to follow.
> 
> i know buck is in heaven already, so i'll only continue to pray for you and yours, that your sadness wanes, but the memories of the greatness of a man named "buck" will continue on forever. i will miss him, until we can all meet again someday, as one.



I was also really touched by what Buckytom wrote, and I tried to give him karma, but it wouldn't let me.  To my remembrance, I've never given him any before, but it said I had to spread it around......


----------



## Katie H

Well...it's all over.  The service was this afternoon at 1:00.  Nice crowd.  All our children, their spouses/fiancees, and all our grandchildren were here, along with Buck's only sibling, his brother, John.  Two of my brothers were here, too.  So Buck's farewell was filled with family and friends.

I chose three pieces of music for the service - _Amazing Grace, Because You Loved Me _(Celine Dion), and _Believe_ (Brooks and Dunn).  The first and last ones were Buck's favorites.  The middle one _was_ our life together.

Lots of flowers.  So beautiful.

Yesterday the mayor stopped by to offer his condolences.  He told me that the city had purchased a large crepe myrtle, which would be at the funeral home, that would be planted in the city park.  A bronze plaque with Buck's name, etc. will be placed in front of the tree.  So sweet.

The two pastors did a wonderful job and Buck would have been touched with what they said about him.  He loved these two men and I was glad they conducted the funeral today.

Tomorrow two of our sons are going to cook breakfast for everyone at my brother Kevin's house.  That's where everyone is staying.  I'll probably get there a little before 9 to eat with everyone.

I won't get Buck's "urn" until Tuesday, but that's okay.  There's plenty to do before then.

Earlier this evening, Buck's two sons rented a truck and loaded it with many of his big shop tools.  I told them they could have anything they wanted.  Good thing, too.  A little less for the state to get their paws on.

I'm not looking forward to getting the bills from the hospitals/doctors/ambulance/airlift service.  I'm sure it's not going to be pretty.

Today was a great drain on me and I'm more weary than tired.  I'm glad Nicole and Paul are staying until Friday.

Well, it's "tomorrow" for me, so I'd best get some sleep so I can feel rested before our custom breakfast.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

It sounds like Buck's send off would have been one he approved of. I know how much work it was to make all of the preparations and I'm so glad it went off so well. Amazing Grace is my favorite song, too. I think it's the first song I learned to sing as a child.

I hope getting Buck back home on Tuesday will bring you a special peace. Have you decided where to put him? 

I'm so glad to hear some of the kids can stay until Friday because there are bound to be lots of things still left to do. But take your time and above all, take care of yourself because most stuff will wait until tomorrow.

Love and Peace,
T


----------



## ChefJune

Dear Katie:  What a trooper you are!  Amazing Grace.... my favorite, too... and I think it describes you in the face of all this.

Just one small piece of "advice" for these coming days and weeks....  whatever anyone wants of or from you, make them wait until you have had a chance to consider it, and/or discuss it with your lawyer or whomever else you deem appropriate.  No matter what anyone says, nothing is so urgent that you can't take your time to consider the consequences.

A crepe myrtle in the park in Buck's memory.....  a hint into what kind of man he was.....

Love you lots,
jj


----------



## knight76

I wasn't going to read this thread and post as I really don't know those involved too well. To lose a person so integral to your existance for so many years must be shattering. My wife and I are in a similar situation being each others soul mates. We are rarely ever apart except for working.

I am so sorry for your loss. I don't really know what to say except that atleast, this way, you got to see him over his last days knowing they were his last days, rather than have him suddenly ripped away. I had the same thing with my father holding his hand while he died. 

Cling to those happy memories you have built up over the years and in the months and years ahead, whenever your mind begins to dwell on Buck, remember these happy times and celebrate his life and your time together. Reading your posts I know he was a great guy without ever having to meet him, just by the amount you care.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## Michael in FtW

Katie - you know my love, my heart and my prayers are with you. My step-mom passing a couple of months ago could never compare to your life with Buck ... but I do have some idea of how things change when you have loved and cared for someone for a long time. 

PM me any time you need to talk.


----------



## Uncle Bob

ChefJune said:
			
		

> Just one small piece of "advice" for these coming days and weeks.... whatever anyone wants of or from you, make them wait until you have had a chance to consider it, and/or discuss it with your lawyer or whomever else you deem appropriate. No matter what anyone says, nothing is so urgent that you can't take your time to consider the consequences.


 
Miss Katie, Let me add...
I can't count the times I have gone to one of my friends widows, and said something like this..."Katie, you are going to get more advice, from more people than you ever thought possible... about what to do, and how to do this or that etc. etc. etc. Here is my advice to you...Don't listen to any of them!! Period!!!! Take your time, to weigh every decision...There is no rush...no hurry. Do what Katie wants to do only after Katie has had the time to think things through with a clear mind. Not before! Ok? Ok???
.....Good girl! Bless you!!


----------



## Cath4420

Hi Katie

I have been offline for a few weeks due to work commitments and couldn't believe what I was reading - I am gobsmacked!  Buck was a wonderful man (i can tell not only from the way you spoke about him but how his family rallied together - a well respected husband, father and community member).  He was always giving me that extra bit of advice when I needed it.

Please take the prayers and condolences of my DH and myself and listen to what Uncle Bob said, take your own time.  We have a very close family friend who is in a very similar situation and take everything day-by-day but know that we are all here for you - holding your hand, giving you big hugs and walking right beside you.

God bless you.


----------



## quicksilver

Katie, thank you so much for letting us know everything went calmly, and you are handling things in your own way.
The music is special and the tree is a wonderful way to keep Buck's memory alive.
I know you appreciate having family around to sort things out and mourn and celebrate with you, but please don't forget to take time for yourself, to refresh and reflect and find peace and make the correct decisions you need for your own well being.​ 
We miss you and we miss Buck, and are in all our thoughts always. If you need any of us, for anything, just ask.​ 
Relax at your morning family breakfast and let them wait on you.​


----------



## simplicity

Uncle Bob is right on!  Most of us are well-intentioned, yet we, myself included, give out ill-informed or even stupid advice with every intention of being helpful.

Don't listen, just thank them and tell them you'll consider it.  Trust yourself.


----------



## amber

Dear Katie, I read your very first post on June 12, but have not been on here very much lately.  I am finding this so very difficult to comprehend.  It all happened so quickly.   I am so deeply sorry.  I can't stop crying.  All my love to you and your family.  I am sorry but I cannot find any words to heal your pain. You have a lot of love here at DC.  Come back when you can.


----------



## meshoo96

My sincerest condolences to you. I've not been on in a few days and am completely floored.


----------



## MexicoKaren

Oh Katie, thank you so much for remembering us and letting us know how things are going with you. You are never far from my thoughts right now,and I know I speak for other members of the DC family as well. We all wished fervently that we could have been there with you, not just yesterday to honor Buck, but all along - and also today. Obviously, Buck's light shone very brightly wherever he was, and I am so pleased to see that his wonderful life is receiving recognition in your home town. We will all be with you on the difficult road you see in front of you.  Love from Karen


----------



## texasgirl

Katie, you picked the most wonderful songs! And it sounds like it was beautiful! Now, it's time for you to rest a while so that you can get your energy back. Love and hugs to you!!


----------



## JoAnn L.

Keeping you in my prayers, Katie. We are all here for you.


----------



## PytnPlace

Oh dear Katie, this is so heartbreaking.  I've always been humbled by your relationship with Buck, it was obvious that you share something truly unique.  Hold on to that gift and may Buck's enduring spirit provide you with some much needed strength.  You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## Katie H

If anyone would like to sign Buck's guest book or light a candle for him, you may go here to do so.  The funeral home finally has his entry up on their site.

This is Kitchenelf - when you light a candle you are asked to state your "group" - if everyone says DC it would be nice.  Click on Sign Guest Book for 

Evrard, Joseph Ganz

Then Light a Candle


----------



## Maverick2272

Done, says it will stay lit for 48 hours.


----------



## Dina

Thank you for the link Katie.  It's been done.  Many prayers going your way.


----------



## David Cottrell

Thank you Katie for the opportunity. A candle is lit and a book signed. Blessings to you.


----------



## quicksilver

I'm afraid many will not revisit this thread and miss Katie's new post. Maybe a new thread, Kitchenelf?

Thank you for the information Katie. I did both & lots of prayers.

But more importantly, and most sincerely, thank you thank you, for allowing all of us into your life and most sad, and personal time for you.

God bless you both.​


----------



## kadesma

Done..Wish it were more.
kades


----------



## Barbara L

Thank you Katie for allowing us the privilege of signing Buck's guest book.  I love the candle lighting feature also.

Barbara


----------



## corazon

I have been gone for the past week and like so many others, I am at a loss for words. 

You have my warmest condolences.  I wish I could do more. He truely had a heart of gold and I feel very grateful to have known him.


----------



## expatgirl

you need a breather, Katie.......grab one of those cats and sit on the front porch.......the  funeral sounded so nicely done.....y'all did well as hard as it must have been for you.......you did well


----------



## JoAnn L.

Thank you Katie for letting us light a candle for Buck. It helps us here at DC, in some small way to take a part in paying a tribute to Buck. Bless you. JoAnn


----------



## PytnPlace

Thanks Katie, thinking of you today and in the days ahead.


----------



## Elf

Katie, Take Uncle Bob's advise to heart, nothing has to be done right now, take the time to think, then decide. I was in your shoes when my mother passed away, it will only take time, I had to take on both the IRS and Social Security, in the end I won, it just take time. Katie, remember you have a large family here, if you have any problems, just ask for help, we are here for you.


----------



## miniman

Candle lit - thanks for the opportunity. Wishing you all the best.


----------



## JillBurgh

**candle**

What a special life to have touched so many


----------



## LEFSElover

My candle is lit with respect hope and love and it's shining brightly while perfuming the house.


----------



## babetoo

thank you kate, for taking time to think of us and our grief                     babe


----------



## Bean208

Candle is lit.  May you feel the prayers being said on your behalf right now!


----------



## texasgirl

wow, I already did this before seeing the link. Mine doesn't say DC, sorry.


----------



## legend_018

I'm just getting the update now. I'm at a loss for words. I'm sorry for your loss. I feel like crying and I don't even know you. I do know that you are a very kind and loving person. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.


----------



## Dave Hutchins

*                                   Ascension*
* *
*                                  And if I go,*
*                          While you are still here,*
*                                Know that I live on,*
*                     Vibrating to a different measure*
*            Behind a thin veil you cannot see through*
*                              You will not see me,*
*                             So you must have faith.*
*    I wait for a time when we can soar together again*
*                          Both aware of each other.*
*                 Until then live your life to the fullest.*
*                             And when you need me,*
*                  Just whisper my name in your heart,*
*                                  I will be there *
* *


----------



## jpmcgrew

Dave Hutchins said:


> * Ascension*
> 
> *And if I go,*
> *While you are still here,*
> *Know that I live on,*
> *Vibrating to a different measure*
> *Behind a thin veil you cannot see through*
> *You will not see me,*
> *So you must have faith.*
> *I wait for a time when we can soar together again*
> *Both aware of each other.*
> *Until then live your life to the fullest.*
> *And when you need me,*
> *Just whisper my name in your heart,*
> *I will be there *
> **


* That is beautiful I just might  have to make this in a frame as well.*


----------



## middie

I now have a candle burning bright for Buck


----------



## Katie H

Thank you, Dave.  I almost called Buck to come and read those beautiful words.  I would love to find a copy of it to have in a frame by my bed.  The words are so comforting.  Thank you, again.


----------



## VickiQ

Katie E said:


> Thank you, Dave. I almost called Buck to come and read those beautiful words. I would love to find a copy of it to have in a frame by my bed. The words are so comforting. Thank you, again.


 ((Katie)) I'm sure Buck was at your side reading along with you...love and energy, Vicki


----------



## meshoo96

Mine has been lit as well. May Buck see how much he will be missed and how blessed each of us was to know him regardless of how long or short that time may have been.


----------



## letscook

Candle has been lit and thoughts & prayers go out again to you as you deal with things to come.   
I always told my daughter, talking about the loss of someone. When you are missing them look to the sky and find the brightest star shinning and that will be the one you missing shining down on you, letting you know all is ok and they are with you.
God Bless
ss


----------



## 2belucile

Katie E:  My sincerest condolences to you. You and your family are in my prayers.


----------



## ChefJune

Thanks.  I finally got over there.

Love you, Katie.


----------



## quicksilver

Good morning Katie. I woke up thinking of you this morning. Hoping you are getting some much needed rest and respite. 
Let us know when or if you need us, please.




​


----------



## Katie H

Thanks, quicksilver.  I've been getting about 5 hours of rest per night.  Just can't sleep.  It's not the same without Buck beside me.

Our daughter, Nicole, and I are going into "town" today to do my regular 2-weeks' shopping.  She's going to take me out to lunch and make a day of it. Should be a pleasant diversion.

Nicole and her husband will leave tomorrow to go back to Los Angeles tomorrow afternoon,  then it'll just be me and my kitties.

Thanks for thinking of me.


----------



## quicksilver

I think all of us think of you and Buck more often than we mention, but this morning you were my waking thought.
Enjoy your time with your daughter. My mom and I were best friends, like two teens, shopping.  Our individual humor fed off each other. I miss her dearly everyday.

As for Buck, he is with you. You can not touch or see him. But inside, in your heart and spirit, he is and always will be with you. So talk to him while you are in bed, not able to sleep. It may just sooth you into slumber..... And, he may just talk back in a new way.
And it may just make you smile.

Be well Katie. And thanks for visiting each day and sharing yourself with us.


----------



## cara

Katie,

even if you feel alone with your kitties, you won't be..
I'm sure Buck will be at your side and most of us will think of you


----------



## MexicoKaren

Dear Katie, any words I write seem inadequate and cliched. I know that tomorrow will be difficult as you begin to settle into your new, more solitary life. Please know that you can come to DC anytime and tell us how you are feeling. That may help a little, I don't know. Buck was a strong, bright spirit, and I am certain that he will not be leaving you anytime soon. I know it is not the same, but it may bring you some comfort.


----------



## JillBurgh

Katie,  I'm 30 now and spending the day with my mom is still my favorite thing to do (and always will be). I bet you make her as happy as she makes you. Enjoy your time today out and about.


----------



## kitchenelf

Katie E said:


> then it'll just be me and my kitties.



Actually, that's not quite true.  Physically, yes, I'm just a phone call away and you already know I accept calls at any hour   Everyone is here for you.  I know it's different when you turn the lights off but when those covers come up around you think of them as Buck's love!


----------



## TanyaK

Dear Katie

I think of you so often. Stay strong !


----------



## Barbara

Katie,
My heartfelt sympathy goes with you. I don't post here often but do check in once and awhile. Reading all the wonderful things these amazing people on this site wrote made me cry. 

My husband's dear mother passed away on June 2nd (she was 84)with 6 of her 8 children at her bedside. Such a blessing not to be in the hospital with all Buck had to go through. She told me she was in God's waiting room!!  
My prayers are with you.
Barbara


----------



## Callisto in NC

Katie,
I'm so sorry for your loss.  I've been offline and didn't know until today what had happened.  You're in my thoughts and I'm sending you positive energy.  You have a lot of friends here.  We're all thinking of you and Buck.


----------



## expatgirl

you  know I just admire the fact that you still post, Katie,........and you don't drop out of life......you're strong and you remind me of a stream in TX named after a very strong woman ........won't tell you  its name now......will later......


----------



## Toots

Katie - like many others  here have said, I think of you often.  When my step-dad died in November, my mom sought out a griefshare class near her (it was about an hour away, but she went).  It is a support group for those newly widowed.  We (the kids) practically forced her to go.  Here is their website if you want more info.  Just plug in your zip to see if anything is close by, and its free.
GriefShare: Grief Recovery Support Groups

Also, if you would like to talk to someone who is a few months out from where you are (my step-dad died Nov 2007), pm me and I'll give you my mom's edmail address - they were married 30 years, so she knows how it feels.  She has had a difficult time, they were very close like you and Buck. 

I wish you strength for the days ahead, just take it one day at a time.

((HUGS))
Jennifer


----------



## Constance

Toots said:


> I wish you strength for the days ahead, just take it one day at a time.
> Jennifer



Or even one hour at a time.


----------



## corazon

((((((((((Katie))))))))))


----------



## quicksilver

Human kitty purrs and hugs tonight, Katie.

Thinking of you all day.
Hope your shopping with DD yesterday was fun and memorable.​


----------



## buckytom

my thoughts have not left you for long these past days, katie. 

_this next line has been written and erased so many times that i need a new keyboard_.

so i'll just say that you are loved, by me and obviously so many here.


----------



## Katie H

Thanks, bucky.  I needed to see your post.  I was doing pretty well until darkness closed in on me on the porch.  I so enjoyed listening to the night sounds with Buck when we sat out on the porch in the evening.  Now it seems so solitary.  Even the outside kittens seem different.

This is my first "real" night by myself and I'm not handling it very well.  I want my Buck back.


----------



## kitchenelf

Katie - I can tell you I had a good cry tonight....and I think I'm gonna have another one.  I'm going to sit on my front porch right now...I just feel like being there.


----------



## quicksilver

I'm so sorry, Katie.
 
No better words tonight.​


----------



## suziquzie

Awww (((((Katie)))))) I'm so sorry. Still don't know what to say.
Can't imagine being without my other half.... literally. My best friend. 
Never feel like you need to stop crying. You have plenty of folks here willing and ready to cry along. 
I know I am....


----------



## pdswife

Hugs to you tonight Katie.


----------



## MexicoKaren

You're never far from my mind these days, Katie. I can't begin to imagine how alone you must feel without Buck beside you. I am so sorry. It is just so wrong and I will never understand it. Thank you for sharing with us.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

Katie, I've been thinking about you so much, wondering how you are faring without your "other half". This is a thread I hope you will let us keep alive for a while.

I don't know how it is there with your neighbors and friends and associates but when my daughter died, the hardest thing was that no one spoke of her again. After the brief, initial mourning period, people were uncomfortable when I spoke of her and they never brought her up. It was so hard for me because she was the _only_ thing on my mind for so long - I missed her so much.

I know that other people just didn't know what to say and were afraid to say the wrong thing or "make me cry again". They didn't realize that the tears were going to come no matter what.

So if you feel like talking about Buck or sharing stories or just speaking about how awful it is that he isn't on the porch with you, this is a safe place with people who cared for him, too, and who won't get tired of hearing it or tell you that you should try to start moving on. We're missing him with you.

Love,
Terry


----------



## DawnT

Katie, I'm so sorry for your sadness.  Please don't stop sitting on the porch, that was a part of you and Buck, and he is still a part of you.  Everything you and Buck did will bring back a memory, be it happy or sad; you need it.  My father has been gone for 11 years yet there are things that we used to do that still bring back his memory and I find my self crying and smiling at the same time.  It's alright Katie, you will get through this with the help and love of your friends and family at DC.  Just don't be surprised when you feel that familar "brush" from Buck, it's just him letting you know he's with you, too.  Love, Dawn  :>)


----------



## expatgirl

My aunt used to have a big porch on your front side of the house and it was surrounded by big shady oak trees and there was always a breeze blowing by on a hot summer day (air conditioning would not have known what to do in her house) and we snapped beans, shucked popcorn, counted cows, and solved the world's problems out there)  and there was always a dog or two and definitely cats esp. Sylvester who was his own personality.....dogs always kneeled before his majesty..........best therapy outside of my grandmother's beautiful garden---she lived across the road a piece.........that sounds like your comfort zone, too Katie............if you haven't already, Buck will start to visit you in your dreams.......that time will come and he'll always be with you....I visit with my grandmother often as we were very close......nothing special dreams, but I dream of her more than anyone else........Buck will come and I know visit those of us her are trying to guess the latest "Guess what this is a picture of"  I know that'd guess where that elusive mastodon sculpture and its creator were located by now as he had so many computer resources.....that's what I will always associate him with ............


----------



## kitchenelf

Death is nothing at all; 
I have only slipped away into the next room.  
I am I, and you are you.  
Whatever we were to each other *that we still are. * 

Call me by my old familiar name; 
speak to me in the same easy way you always used.  
Put no deference into your tone; wear no forced air 
     of solemnity or sorrow.  

Laugh as we always laughed at the little 
     jokes we enjoyed together.  
*
Play...smile...think of me.  
Life means all that it ever meant.  
It is the same as it always was; 
there is absolutely unbroken continuity.  *

I am waiting for you, for an interval, 
somewhere very near, 
just around the corner
............and all is well...all is well


----------



## Alix

Been a while since I posted here because every time I try I choke up and can't do it. 

Katie, just know I'm holding your hand and crying with you on that porch. I can only imagine how much you miss him.


----------



## GB

You might need a bigger porch Katie, because we are all right there next to you.


----------



## TATTRAT

Kaite, I am sure that he is there with you, as we all are. 

(((((((((katie)))))))


----------



## Chief Longwind Of The North

kitchenelf said:


> Death is nothing at all;
> I have only slipped away into the next room.
> I am I, and you are you.
> Whatever we were to each other *that we still are. *
> 
> Call me by my old familiar name;
> speak to me in the same easy way you always used.
> Put no deference into your tone; wear no forced air
> of solemnity or sorrow.
> 
> Laugh as we always laughed at the little
> jokes we enjoyed together.
> 
> *Play...smile...think of me. *
> *Life means all that it ever meant. *
> *It is the same as it always was; *
> *there is absolutely unbroken continuity. *
> 
> I am waiting for you, for an interval,
> somewhere very near,
> just around the corner
> ............and all is well...all is well


 
That is such a wonderful example of what I believe.  K.E., you have perfectly expressed life/death for Katie.  You deserve a great big hug.

And Katie, you already know how I feel about you and Buck, and how he is probably already making a comfortable place for you to be by his side when the time comes.  As I said before, it will be a grand reunion indeed when we come together again with all of those we know and love who have passed before us.

Goodweed of the North


----------



## AMSeccia

kitchenelf said:


> Death is nothing at all;
> I have only slipped away into the next room.
> I am I, and you are you.
> Whatever we were to each other *that we still are. *
> 
> Call me by my old familiar name;
> speak to me in the same easy way you always used.
> Put no deference into your tone; wear no forced air
> of solemnity or sorrow.
> 
> Laugh as we always laughed at the little
> jokes we enjoyed together.
> 
> *Play...smile...think of me. *
> *Life means all that it ever meant. *
> *It is the same as it always was; *
> *there is absolutely unbroken continuity. *
> 
> I am waiting for you, for an interval,
> somewhere very near,
> just around the corner
> ............and all is well...all is well


 
That was really very, very nice ... thank you for sharing. I think we all could apply that to someone we've loved and lost, and surely were comforting words for Katie.

Katie, I don't know you and didn't know Buck, but you both have managed to tug at my heart strings.  Sending you strength and peace and a lifetime of memories.


----------



## krichardson

I haven't posted here at all, because I feel like a lurker and that I am intruding on a family in their time of grief. I have read all the posts and cried along side of you all. Katie, you have my deepest sympathies. I just finished a book that might comfort you, it's called 90 minutes in heaven, by don piper. I wish you the best.


----------



## expatgirl

krichardson, at 80 posts you are NOT a lurker....post what you feel.......it's always appreciated whether people respond back or not.........Buck had a huge presence around here and even I who has been here for  about 3 years didn't know the extent of it......he was a wonderful, wonderful and  funny man.........I miss him kicking a.... on guess what this is a photo of 'cause I know that mastodon sculpture would have been history had he been here............


----------



## babetoo

Katie E said:


> Thanks, bucky. I needed to see your post. I was doing pretty well until darkness closed in on me on the porch. I so enjoyed listening to the night sounds with Buck when we sat out on the porch in the evening. Now it seems so solitary. Even the outside kittens seem different.
> 
> This is my first "real" night by myself and I'm not handling it very well. I want my Buck back.


 

oh katie, i know how it feels. everything is as in fog. i have been saving the following for when you were really alone. this perfectly summed up my relationship with my husband before he died what i do know of you and buck makes me feel it describes you two as well. 


"He would walk 
Into my mind as if it were a town and he a torchlight procession of one, lighting up the streets. "

you will miss him and long for him for the rest of your life. the pain will become almost bearable after a time. it has been twelve years for me and i still think of him, everyday. i just try to remember good things. hope you can do that as well.

with love and understanding,
babe


----------



## B'sgirl

I have not been on since this happened--my computer has been busted for a month. I was shocked to see this post! It broke my heart. I can't even imagine what you must be going through. Everyone has said such nice things that I don't have much to add, but I wanted to wish you well. I know you'll see Buck again. I know it. May your heart be at peace until that day comes!


----------



## texasgirl

Aww, Katie. My heart just aches for you!! I just don't know what to say other than you are on my mind quite often these days and I really do wish I lived closer to you!!{{{{{hugs}}}}}


----------



## MexicoKaren

Babe, thanks so much for posting that quotation. I have never seen it before.


----------



## quicksilver

Thank you kitchenelf.
And GB, thanks for reminding Katie we're all on the porch.


----------



## Maverick2272

I have been far from this thread for awhile, but you have not been far from my thoughts or prayers.


----------



## texasgirl

Pook said:


> I am still grieving over your loss, Katie.
> 
> I lost the love of my life when I was 38. Being a widow at any age is heartbreaking, terrifying, lost, and just gut-wrentching beyond words.
> I delivered a sort of letter at my love's funeral.
> Here it is as I spoke it:
> 
> My dear Terry, (substitute Buck if you will)
> I stand beside you now as I did when we were joined as husband and wife. The years you gave were the happiest years of my life.
> You gave me love, you gave me strength, you gave me support and the things only you could give.
> I promise you I will carry on your memory and try to be the person you thought I am. I promise I will carry on from where you left off, and I will carry the love we shared forever.
> You are the oasis in the desert, you are my strength, and from this moment on, I will carry on, for us both
> Thank you for being in my life, and thank you for choosing me to be in your life. Thank you for being you, and thank you for loving me.
> At that point, I did break down and said,
> Thank you Terry. I love you and I always will.
> 
> I am so very, very sorry, Katie. I am terribly sorry for your loss. If there is ever anything I can do for you, PM me, please.
> God bless you, honey. We all love and care for you.
> Joyce


 
 that is beautiful Joyce!


----------



## kadesma

Katie,
when my dad passed, one of the hardest things for me was to go out and get the hummingbird feeder to change the feed. You see dad did this everyother day..I tried to avoid the patio but finally I had to do it...I could feel the tears coming as I took the feeder down and I think I cried enough to wash it  as I mixed the food put it in and then had to go hang it..Well, out I went reached up to put it on the hook and a sweet little hummer was right there clicking making that humming sound, he hovered over my hand then darted back til I finished,landed and drank and drank..I still think to this day my dad sent him.
So enjoy your porch, sit very still, Buck is right there with you and I firmly believe that slight breeze that brushes you cheek and hair is  his way of letting you know you are and will always be first in his heart.
kadesma


----------



## quicksilver

We're here Katie.
We're thinking of you, even if we haven't written so.
I hope you've taken these couple of days to catch your breath and work your head clear alittle.
If you need or want company, just sign in.
Any of us will listen.
Good night, dear lady.
​


----------



## Katie H

Thank you for the kind words, quicksilver.  The last several days have been difficult because all the children have gone home and I've been here alone.  The weekend was especially difficult.  It was the first one since Buck got sick that I've had to be by myself.

I've kept myself occupied by doing "busy" work and making necessary phone calls.  I've been fighting with OPM (Office of Personnel Management) trying to get information on his life insurance.  Surprisingly, my exchanges with the Social Security Administration have been fairly productive.

The medical bills started coming in the mail yesterday.  Whoa!  Just the ones from the doctors so far.  I can't imagine what the ones from the plane company that transported him to Nashville and St. Thomas Hospital are going to be.

Haven't been sleeping much and, as some have suggested, I want to try taking some melatonin, but I can't find it in my little town.  I'll look on the 9th when I go to the big city to do my shopping.

I've lost my interest in cooking.  Just seems no point in it since Buck's not here.  He loved the meals I cooked for him and it was always a pleasure to prepare a nice meal for him.  I do eat three meals a day, but just something to fill the hole.  No fun eating either.

The city planted Buck's white crepe myrtle yesterday and I drove by the city park to see it.  They planted it near the little chapel and it looks nice.  They'll place a bronze plaque by it soon.

Guess I've rambled on, so I'd better get a move on and get downstairs and feed my inside and outside furbabies.


----------



## csalt

Words would seem so trite to try to respond to your grief Katie.
I hope with all my heart that a time will come when you will feel able to cook a special meal just as you did for Buck and take it out on the back porch to eat it, knowing that he is so very close to you.
I salute your courage and bravery.


----------



## Fisher's Mom

When my dad died, my mom felt the same way about cooking, even though she's an awful cook. She used to cook and shop daily to keep my dad from eating stuff that wasn't good for him and because he really appreciated it. Plus there was the pleasure of sharing a meal together. Now, she just eats because you need it to stay alive. Mostly raw fruits, salads, cheeses that sort of thing. (She's a vegetarian.)

I don't mean it to sound like she is still completely miserable almost 4 years later. She's not. But as far as cooking, she still feels that it's just not worth it to cook without Dad to cook with and for.

I would imagine the cooking thing is even harder for you since it seemed to me that cooking together and for each other was almost part of your romance with each other. Ya'll made each meal, each special occasion, each bake day seem like such a special way to express your love for life and each other. I know I'll miss those posts about your suppers.

Love you, Katie.
T


----------



## LadyCook61

Katie,  I pray the Lord surround you with His love and peace and give you comfort.   hugs,        Diane


----------



## corazon

Thinking of you Katie.


----------



## sattie

Katie.... not sure what to say that has not already been said, but I share the same sentiments as others and know that we think about you and lift you up in prayer.


----------



## Maverick2272

Just letting you know I am still thinking of you.


----------



## VickiQ

(((Katie))) Keeping you close in my thoughts-Love and energy, Vicki


----------



## texasgirl

Your still on my mind and in my heart too, Katie!!


----------



## krichardson

Katie,
   Just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts. I hope all of the people here at DC who love and care about you are making this difficult time a little easier for you. I hope you have a wonderful day!


----------



## LEFSElover

Katie...

I've been thinking of you and hoping and praying for good times ahead.
I am positive that you feel our hearts and our desires for everything good to happen to you and your family.

I am writing a letter to you and gathering up sentiments.  My only hope is that you know, that although what has transpired in your life, and the undeniable stress you've been put through, has for whatever reason, blessed me.  I've been blessed to be in prayer for you.  I have been blessed to read all the love on here for you and your beloved Buck.  It's blessed me to know how many have come together as a family to a friend in need.  I have been blessed to be a part of the love on here.

I am so truly sorry for your loss, but praise God for our gain. {I hope that came out right, if not, please Mods fix this sentence.}


----------



## middie

Katie I've been thinking of you the past couple days. Got anymore room on that porch now that all of Dc is on it with you ?


----------



## Constance

I'm willing to sit on the steps. I can see heaven's porch lights better there, anyway!
Hang on, Girl. There are a lot of people who care for you!


----------



## Green Lady

LadyCook61 said:


> Katie, I pray the Lord surround you with His love and peace and give you comfort. hugs, Diane


 


Ditto for me, Katie.


----------



## quicksilver

I know, Katie


----------



## miniman

You are still in my thoughts

Ray


----------



## pot clanger

Hi Katie....  just another person who is thinking about you...It's good to see your posts, and know you are doing what you must ... you are an inspiration to many of us here.    I know how nice it is to have fur babies - I 'm glad they are there with you when family and friends cannot physically be...  I usually spend more time in my back yard at this time of year, even though I have a small front porch.  Tonight I will sit on my 'lil porch and think of you, and hope that one day I will be lucky enough to have as many sweet memories with a partner that you and Buck have had together.  Blessings to you.... She Who Clangs Pots


----------



## quicksilver

Pot clanger, how nicely you said that.
I feel the same Katie.
It has been good seeing your posts.

​


----------



## Bilby

Katie, just scanned this thread and couldn't believe what I was reading!! I am so very sorry to hear of your loss and the horrors of it all. And having your cat pass at the same time ... well. My thoughts are with you and wish you well. Buck will be truly missed.


----------



## Katie H

Dave Hutchins said:


> *                                   Ascension*
> 
> *                                  And if I go,*
> *                          While you are still here,*
> *                                Know that I live on,*
> *                     Vibrating to a different measure*
> *            Behind a thin veil you cannot see through*
> *                              You will not see me,*
> *                             So you must have faith.*
> *    I wait for a time when we can soar together again*
> *                          Both aware of each other.*
> *                 Until then live your life to the fullest.*
> *                             And when you need me,*
> *                  Just whisper my name in your heart,*
> *                                  I will be there *



Dave, I just wanted to let you know I've printed this piece out and framed it and have it on the table beside my bed.

I printed it out in about 3- x 5-inch format, in dark blue ink on blue and white marblized paper.  It's in an antique-like gold frame.

I showed it to our son, Aaron, who was visiting this weekend.  He loved the words.  Said they "were" Buck and me.

Turns out the poem has been around since 1987.  It's by Colleen Corah Hitchcock.  It's so beautiful.  Thanks for guiding me to it.  It's a source of comfort.


----------



## quicksilver

Katie, that is beautiful. It does sound like you two.
I don't know how I missed that post.
Dave, that was lovely.
Thanks.


----------



## texasgirl

That is truely awesome, Dave! Katie, I hope that poem brings you comfort whenever you are in need!!


----------



## georgem678

R.I.P Buck.


----------



## texasgirl

Just posting a friendship request, I was looking at my friends and my heart broke. This whole thing started about the time Buck was taken to the hospital. Well, all my request, but one special one, was granted. Buck is on there still as a request. I be there are a bunch here that are the same way. I don't want that to change, so, if admin are able to change it, PLEASE DONT! It's kinda like a memorial to me. 
Just a little meloncolly {sp} this morning when I saw that.
I miss Buck's jokes and easy nature.
Katie, I still think about you all the time. I hope your heart has eased on grieving and you are able to smile when you think of your love now.


----------



## Katie H

That's a sweet loving thought, Stacy, and it warms my heart you feel that way.

It was two months ago today that Buck died and I'm getting along.  I think what's really happening is that I'm just feeling numb.  One day runs into the next and the calendar continues to turn over.

Your thoughts were timely today and I appreciate them.  Thanks.


----------



## ChefJune

Dear Katie...  you are always on my mind and in my prayers.  I know this is not easy.

I learned when my Dad died that the Jewish way of mourning starts with the week of Shiva, but continues throughout the whole year. And of course, the sadness doesn't end with the year, but somehow the sun seemed to "come out" then.  I'm wishing that for you.


----------



## texasgirl

Aww Katie, I didn't even realize the date. I will just think of that as him saying hello to me then. I know you guys don't know me from Adam, but, that just makes me feel good to think. {{{{{{{{{{BIG HUGS, Katie}}}}}}}}}}}!!!!


----------



## sattie

BIG HUG for you Miss Katie!  You are in my thoughts as well.


----------



## Lynd

I just read the whole thread and I'm really sorry for your loss. I hope you're feeling okay.


----------



## cara

hey Katie..

just want to let you know I think a lot of you and Buck...
He won't be forgotten..


----------



## Katie H

cara said:


> hey Katie..
> 
> just want to let you know I think a lot of you and Buck...
> He won't be forgotten..



Thanks, cara.  Today's been kinda a rough day and your sweet thoughts help.


----------



## kitchenelf

{{{{{{Katie}}}}}} - You are an awesome person!!  I love you!


----------



## LadyCook61

Dear Katie,
 You are on my mind and in my prayers.  Anniversaries are difficult whether it is one month or one year.  
(((Hugs)))
LC


----------



## kadesma

Katie,
While I might not say much, or often, The two of you are on my mind..Besides my parents, you two are all that one would want to be like..Your life together one we would try to emulate...You will always be the perfect couple in our eyes.
kadesma


----------



## Katie H

Thanks, kadesma.  I soooo appreciate your comments.  Buck taught me how to really love someone and what made a perfect marriage.  We had the kind of marriage I dreamed of as a little girl.  I hope we set a good example for our children.  I would want them to have what Buck and I had.


----------



## VickiQ

(((Katie)))On Tuesday when Jimmy and I were at the fair, I was thinking of you and Buck. Jimmy and I were holding hands throughout the day-whether it be in a cow barn or crafts tent or watching dockdogs jump in the water. I was imagining that the two of you would probably have done the same thing- shared inside jokes, smiled together and at each other.Shared the treats only fairs have to offer and just plain enjoy each others company. I know how lucky I am to be Jimmy's wife and I ALWAYS felt that is how you felt about being Buck's wife. I was watching John Edward this afternoon and a woman who had lost her child gave a simply amazing answer when asked where she found her strength-she said I "count blessings not losses"-it was a wow moment for me and it also made me think of you. In as much as I can relate to this woman in losing a child and knowing what a blessing it was to have had him in my life for 18 years-I hope her words can bring you some comfort and strength as well. With all the love and energy I can offer you, Vicki


----------



## TATTRAT

((((KATIE)))), just thinking of you hun. I want to have what you and Buck have, and I've never met you! I hope we can all experience that level of friendship, love, and life. May we all be so lucky!


----------



## Constance

Kim and I both looked for that for many years...then we found each other.
You just need the right person.

Your sweetheart will always be with you, Katie. That's one thing you can count on.


----------



## expatgirl

My DH heard about Buck so many times over the past few years....... he.knew about  his humor and helpfulness....when he became ill he heard me......then when Buck died he heard me cry.......such a wonderful man........Katie, you've been such a wonderful soulmate to him and a mentor to the rest of us.......I do know what a painful loss it is.....truly I do..........you're always in people's thoughts esp. those who knew Buck......that's why he will always be here........


----------



## texasgirl

Thinking about you both today, Katie, BIG HUGS!!


----------



## quicksilver

{{{}}} me too! Did you get everything cleaned up? With help, I hope.


----------



## BigDog

Wow. I just finished reading all 16 pages, and had to wipe my eyes a number of times along the way.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I'm also amazed at the commitment of the group of people here towards friends. Having a support group is important, and I believe the more the merrier, even if it is an e-support group. 

May God continue to bless you and your family.


----------



## Katie H

Thanks, Stacey, quicksilver and BigDog.  Thursday was three months since Buck died and it's still fresh to me.

There are days when I'm exhausted from having to be two people.  Our experience with Hurricane Ike was more than exhausting.

I'm a like an alcoholic...one day at a time.  Sometimes it's one hour at a time.  Folks keep telling me I'm strong.  I want to believe that, but I feel as weak as a kitten so much of the time.  I miss being part of a team.

Thanks everyone.


----------



## PytnPlace

Hi Katie, I don't chime in here so much, I'm just so crazy busy lately. But I want you to know that you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Hope that you got some help with the aftermath of the wind storm. We got socked here as well. 90% of the area lost power - we were in the dark for 5 days. No ice, gas, etc.


----------



## Dove

*My Dear Katie,
I was thinking about you last night..wondering how your are etc. 
I know how you are feeling..some days are better than others and then out of no where the tears flow. I had a complete breakdown about midnight. It was the song "Only You" by the Platters that started the tears.. I was going to dedicate that to Paul at my class reunion last year.It was one of the songs I had played at his service.

My thoughts and prayers are heading your direction..Love ya,
Marge
Dove 
and the new pup..Buddy (Yorkie)*


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## quicksilver

Strong or not, Katie, you're you. And it took the both whole of you to make the we. Not parts of you both. Life changes, and it sucks. But you, as a whole, are as many hats with or without Buck.                                                                                     

I'm glad for your good days, and know we're here for the bad ones as well. I know it's not the same, but maybe enough of a distraction to get you over the hump.                                      
And always many many free {{{{{}}}}s as you need.............


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## miniman

When the times are bad and you don't feel strong - remember you have all our combined strength behind you, helping you, praying for you and being there for you. I am also reminded of the Footseps poem Footprints in the Sand - 3 versions, 3 authors, 1 of the most inspirational poem ever written (wowzone.com) An amazing poem in search of its author - WOW Stories & Poetry has three versions.

God is there with you.


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## Chopstix

Dear Katie,  I think I was away from DC for more than 3 months.  I only just got through reading about Buck.  I'm deeply sorry for your suffering and tremendous loss.  Sending as much positive thoughts as possible your way.

Chopstix


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## deelady

*No One Can Know*


No one can know just what you've lost;
No one can understand the cost;
But when you feel your energy drain,
Please count on us to help ease your pain.




Let us help you cope with grief;
We hope with time you'll feel relief.
We can't replace the one who's gone,
But let our concern help you carry on.


Prayers are still constantly with you, and I pray you feel his touch when you least expect it and it brings a smile to your heart!​


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## quicksilver

dee, that was so simply lovely. Same goes for me, Katie.
Prayers and {{}}s and smiles always.


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## Katie H

Thanks deelady and quicksilver.  I really appreciate your thoughts, comments and hugs.  For some reason the last week or so has been especially trying for me.  Lots of tears for no apparent reason.  

I still keep hoping Buck will come through the front door or I'll see him sitting in the recliner in the family in the afternoon as he usually did.  I can't believe he's gone and I want him back.  I don't want to be the widow who lives in the big house on the hill.

The silence is killing me.  I sooo miss talking with him.  No one stops by and the phone rarely rings.  Some days I feel as though I've been put into solitary confinement.  I sorely wish my kitties could talk.

Deelady, that poem is beautiful.  Did you write it?  If so, you wrote from the heart.  The words are comforting and I'm going to print it out to read again and again.  Thanks.


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## quicksilver

I'm sorry you had such a bad week.

 Please don't go it alone and tell us after. You are not alone. I know we're not Buck. But the #s here who love and worry about you can sure try to get you through this, Katie. Your loneliness is just a testament matched by your love. That will never go away. All my {{ 

}} hugs for you.
You must try to keep the TV or radio on. It does help. You'll hear something funny, and laugh inspite of yourself. Or hear something that makes you angry or frustrated and you'll find yourself telling it off, then laugh when you realize what you must sound/look like. I know that sounds simple and silly, but it does work sometimes.
I know I can say this without reservation; PM anyone here, if you want or need to talk. We all care and so many here on at anytime of day or night. And all would do whatever you need. So remember that. Okay, dear lady?


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## deelady

Katie I did not write that myself but I am so glad you found comfort in it because it was from the heart just the same.And you cryng is not at all for no reason, you have every reason. Sometimes you just need a good cry. It does help at times.
And just like Quicksilver said , There is ALWAYS someone here to talk with, and I know there are countless here that would love to sit and listen as a friend if you ever want to talk about your dear Buck. I never had the pleasure of getting to know him personally, but anytime you want to reminisce about Buck I would love to listen!

And Quicksilver I don't think that sounded simple or silly at all! It does indeed help.


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## simplicity

Katie, something you said brought me back to old remembrances "no one stops by and the phone rarely rings". I became a widow too young in life. My husband's death tore my heart apart. And when I most needed people, it became the very time when they decided I needed to be left alone.

Friends meant to stop by, but they rarely did. Family meant to come but there was always another soccer game, company picnic, or whatever.

The truth is, for the most part, they are uncomfortable. They don't know what to say. They don't know what to do.

I don't have answers.  I understand where you are. 

God bless you.


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## jabbur

Katie, I'm sorry you are feeling so lonesome right now.  The changing of the seasons reminds us of the passage of time.  It seems so unfair to be alone without your Buck.  Do you have any friends nearby that you can call or go visit when you're feeling so lonely?  DH is often away and I'm home alone.  I will call my sister or go to the park where others are just to be around people or to talk to someone.  The tv or radio is also a good idea but sometimes you need that human presence.  I think of you every now then, especially when I see rockers on porches.  I hope you can find some comfort.


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## kadesma

We all say Katie I'm here and I am, but I haven't reached out to you and I'm sorry..I guess we all think that we've said  here I am and then we wait to see if you need us..Instead we need to be the ones who reach out to you..I understand you loneliness I still find myself reach for the phone to call my mother or dad..then realize I can't..I still dream of them and am disapointed when I wake and I'm still alone..It gets further apart as time passes, and the ache lessens,but our memories grow sharper and sweeter as time passes..If I can help in any way Katie   I will
kades


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## expatgirl

we're here......we're here.......we're here...........just let us know how we can help.......I still think about Buck to this day and when certain posts come up I think about how he would have answered this or that.........if I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around him being gone then god only knows what you're going thru..........Thanksgiving is looming around the corner.......please make sure that you are with your family which I'm sure that you will be.........the holidays are the hardest....I lost my mother when I was 9 so I know.........truly I know........


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## LEFSElover

_Katie, I reread through these and it reminded me that although I don't call enough or write you enough or PM you enough, you're always right here in my....................
Peaceful days and quiet nights are wished for you.........._


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## quicksilver

Katie, just thinking about you today, and hoping it's an easy one for you.


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## quicksilver

quicksilver said:


> Katie, just thinking about you today, and hoping it's an easy one for you.


 

As always, Katie...........................


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## Katie H

Thank you, quicksilver.  You must be psychic because I've had a very, very difficult week.  Not sure why, but I'm spent.

I'm beginning to feel the effects of not being able to sit on the front porch as long as usual.  I'm now driven inside about 6 p.m. either because it's too chilly to be outside or because it's getting dark.  Of course, when Daylight Saving Time ends soon, it will be dark even earlier.

I sooo miss talking to someone.  Buck and I used to talk for hours every day.  I work at the shop 5 days a week and the phone never rings there.  Well, it doesn't ring at home either.  

Some days I feel like a dolt because I have no interaction/conversation with a human.

Again, thanks for your kind and generous thoughts.  They mean a lot.


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## PytnPlace

Katie, is there any way you could move closer to one of your kids?


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## Katie H

Thanks, Pytn.  I've considered that.  Our daughter lives in Los Angeles, which is not my cup of tea.  Oldest son lives in suburban Washington, DC and is making plans to move to Tennessee/West Virginia.  The other three live in the Atlanta, Georgia area.  However two of the three are making plans to move.  One to northern California, the other perhaps to Florida.  They're not sure yet.  Our society is much more mobile than when I was growing up.  After a lot of thought and review of finances, moving would be inadvisable...at least for the near future.


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## texasgirl

ok, then, how about a community center or, look up groups in your area for things that you have an interest in. Check your local church. Do you like to knit, play bridge, what do you like to do Katie? I don't want you to be lonely. There are other ladies out there, just like you, that are looking for someone to spend some time with or just be able to call and talk. God Bless Katie, I wish you happiness again!!


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## babetoo

Katie E said:


> Thank you, quicksilver. You must be psychic because I've had a very, very difficult week. Not sure why, but I'm spent.
> 
> I'm beginning to feel the effects of not being able to sit on the front porch as long as usual. I'm now driven inside about 6 p.m. either because it's too chilly to be outside or because it's getting dark. Of course, when Daylight Saving Time ends soon, it will be dark even earlier.
> 
> I sooo miss talking to someone. Buck and I used to talk for hours every day. I work at the shop 5 days a week and the phone never rings there. Well, it doesn't ring at home either.
> 
> Some days I feel like a dolt because I have no interaction/conversation with a human.
> 
> Again, thanks for your kind and generous thoughts. They mean a lot.


 

i certainly can relate katie, i am always surprised to find a week gone by with no contact with other people. i guess i have gotten used to it and it doesn't bother me so much anymore. my son lives five min. away and i see him only a couple times a months .  my daughter is one hour away and i see her every two months or so. so even if you moved nearer kids, they have their own lives and you will see them less than you think. 

i have a lot of hobbies to keep me busy. if i get lonely i just go with it and it passes soon enough. i have a friend my age, we talk about four times a week. you will just need more time to adjust to being single. it takes a while. in mean time, you can talk to us at d.c.


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## quicksilver

Katie, I'd be more than happy to chat with you anytime you want. Just let me know, okay?


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## PytnPlace

texasgirl said:


> ok, then, how about a community center or, look up groups in your area for things that you have an interest in. Check your local church. Do you like to knit, play bridge, what do you like to do Katie? I don't want you to be lonely. There are other ladies out there, just like you, that are looking for someone to spend some time with or just be able to call and talk. God Bless Katie, I wish you happiness again!!


 
I agree.  Katie, I think you need to get yourself out there somehow.  I know it's easier said then done.   I do think that reaching out will give you something to grab onto.


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## quicksilver

Katie, hoping Halloween brings you lots of little ones filled with excitement, giggles and greedy little hands! I hope you have lots of your own smiles and giggles tomorrow night too!


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## Dove

*sending you my love and understanding Katie.*


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## bethzaring

I think of you often, Katie, and wonder how you are doing.  It will be hard during the upcoming holidays.  Do you have plans for the holidays?  Can you do something special away from home, stay with family or friends?


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## Katie H

I don't know, Beth.  I'm afraid to think of the holidays, especially since December 18th will be the 6-month anniversary of Buck's death AND our wedding anniversary.

No one in the family has mentioned either Thanksgiving or Christmas, so not sure what will happen.  I try not to think about it.


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## texasgirl

{{{{{{Katie}}}}}}, could be that they are dreading it too and don't know how to bring it up. Maybe you can call them and mention it. You know, Buck would want you to celebrate the holidays and be with your loving family. I know, easy for me to say. Just know, that I am thinking of you and I wish you a magical season and beautiful memories.


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## licia

Katie, the first Thanksgiving after my dad had died in September, we were all wondering just how the day would go - not knowing whether to celebrate as usual, or what.  All of us (7 kids with spouses and grandkids) went to Mom's for the day taking and making all the food.  We could feel the spirit of dad in all that we did, but it was so good for mom. She had a couple of weepy spells but told us how much it meant for us to be there and bolster her through what could have been a hard time.  Your kids may feel the way we did and just aren't sure. Family situations can be a bit sticky as you probably know. I hope you do have a wonderful holiday and remembering their dad will be good for all of you.


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## Constance

Holidays are tough, Katie. My mother died the day before Thanksgiving and my father-in-law died two days before. One thing that helps me to get through times like that is to throw myself into doing something to help someone else. If you don't end up getting together with the kids, you might think about volunteering someplace where they're serving free Thanksgiving dinners to the poor.


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## sattie

Hi Katie... I kinda know what you are going through.  Holidays stink now that I don't have my parents to share them with.  

Anyhow Katie... please know that I think about you often and hold you close to my heart with thougths and prayers.


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## quicksilver

Katie, I just googled the words: Just For Today, and this is what popped up:

Just For Today Prayer 

Some of them touched me and I thought of your bad moments.


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## Katie H

Thanks, quicksilver.  I'm going to print it out and post it near my desk.


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## quicksilver

{{{hugs}}}


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## Dove

*Katie,you will get through it all. It will be hard I know. 
Life goes on.....
Love you
marge*


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## buckytom

happy thanksgiving, katie.

you and buck will be in my thoughts, and at my family's table tomorrow.


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## ChefJune

I'm keeping you in my thoughts, Katie, dear.  I know how hard the holidays can be.

sending you extra hugs.....


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## cara

I think we are all thinking of you...
my mind often wandered to you and buck.. I hope he will guard you through the hard times to come..


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## CharlieD

May his memory be a blessing during the holiday season for all of those who knew and love him. Have a great holiday Katie.


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## miniman

I remeber Buck with great pleasure. I won't say have a happy thanksgiving - do have a good one and build up a few new memories. All my love and prayers

Ray


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## Dove

*Thinking of you with love Katie...
Marge*


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## Katie H

Thank you, everyone.  I know you loved Buck.  He touched so many people in his short life and left an indelible mark on mine.  He was/is the best.  I can't tell you how comforting all your comments are to me.  It's as though his big bear-like arms are hugging me.  I so miss those hugs.

I spent my Thanksgiving in the Atlanta, Georgia area with three of our children and all five of our grandchildren.  Lots of visiting, lots of food and very little sleep, but all worth it.

Our oldest grandson, Seth, sat and talked with me late on Friday before I was to leave Saturday morning.  Seth's going to be 9 and is wise beyond is short years.

He solemnly said as we were sitting at the kitchen table on Friday, "Grandma, when Grandpa Buck died, I don't have any more grandpas.  Would you get me another one?"

Whoa!  What does a grandmother say to that?  Guess it's possible since, by today's standards, I'm still young.  Not 60 yet, so I have some years left.  Who knows?  Maybe grandma can deliver someday on Seth's request.

He also asked me if I could just come and live with him because he didn't want me to go home.  I told him I had to take care of my house and my kitties, but I could come and get him during the summer and take him to my house for a nice long stay...on the approval of his parents.  He seemed okay with that answer.

Buck would've loved the visit I had with the children and grandchildren.


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## Constance

Dear, Sweet Lady, my arms are around you.


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## cara

I'm so glad you had a nice TG... and you can be lucky to have such a wonderful grandson..


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## Reanie525i

So sorry to hear all this - My thoughts and prayers are with you and all those who are suffering through this with you. God bless, Reanie


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## Katie H

Thanks, Reanie.  I miss Buck with all my heart, but I have to take each day as it comes.


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## Reanie525i

I can not imagine what you must be going thru - You two were so lucky to find each other.  I hope that helps you thru this. If you need to talk just let me know. God bless.


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## Dove

*but I have to take each day as it comes.
__________________

That is the only way to do it Katie.
Love ya
*


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## Katie H

Thanks, Marge.  It was 7 months yesterday, but I still keep thinking I'm going to wake up from a very, very bad dream.  Still, it's one day at a time.


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## les

I've just read this, so sorry.


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## kadesma

Katie,
he is in our hearts and not forgotton. He is watching over you..I send him a hello. Please  pass it on to him as you drift off to sleep tonight Katie, He is so proud of you and what you've done.
hugs,
cj


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## PytnPlace

Katie, Circumstances has kept me away from this forum in recent months, but I think of you often and keep you in my prayers.


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## Renee Attili

Oh katie I am sooooooooooo sorry. I haven't been here for over a year and a half and when I saw this thread today, I simply couldn't believe it. I sit here with tears rolling down my cheeks. Your Buck was a wonderful man. He had the ability to reach inside and touch your soul. May the emptiness in your heart easy in the time ahead. You are a strong woman with a great family. May the spirit of Buck live inside you


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