# Am I Rude?



## CatPat

I was fussed at in another place because I sign my posts. I didn't know this was rude!

Is this better? Have I offended anyone here?


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## Dawgluver

Huh?  What was rude, Cat?  Not sure I understand.


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## CatPat

When I sign my posts like this:

*With love,
~Cat*

I was told I'm rude.


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## Dawgluver

Not rude here on DC, sign away, Cat!


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## Katie H

I see no rudeness either, Cat.  Feel free to continue with your sign off.


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## FrankZ

It is not rude though we do have a rule that requires signatures to utilize the the signature function and not be the same, repetitive text added to posts.


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## salt and pepper

Not to me I love Cats.........


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## CatPat

FrankZ said:


> It is not rude though we do have a rule that requires signatures to utilize the the signature function and not be the same, repetitive text added to posts.



Oh I see. My signature is always the same. I understand. I won't do this again, and I apologize.


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## GotGarlic

CatPat said:


> Oh I see. My signature is always the same. I understand. I won't do this again, and I apologize.



Cat, I think you misunderstood. You don't have to change your signature periodically. Some people put signature text in the signature function, and then also put it at the end of each post, so it's duplicated. That's what Frank was referring to. You're fine


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## Addie

Rude? I have seen a lot of ruder words pass on this forum than your signature. Continue the way you were Cat. You have been doing just fine. Evidently someone doesn't get enough love in their life and does't want anyone else to have any. "With love, Cat" is just fine with me.


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## CarolPa

CatPat said:


> I was fussed at in another place because I sign my posts. I didn't know this was rude!
> 
> Is this better? Have I offended anyone here?




I think that person was rude to tell you that!


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## Chief Longwind Of The North

CarolPa said:


> I think that person was rude to tell you that!



I don't know why the world has become less polite.  The ending line to all written letters, when I was a child was: Sincerely;

Now, almost no one closes a letter, or email to anyone else with anything other than their name.

Myself, I am sincere in my posts, letters, and emails.  The only reason I put - "Seeeeeeeya" as my closing reference is that I have seen that others find "Sincerely:" as outdated, and too formal.

Cat, I find you refreshing, and very polite.  You are one of the most considerate people on this site.  Thank you for being who you are.  Don't change a thing.

Seeeeeeeya; (or, Sincerely Chief Longwind of the North


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## CatPat

Oh oh oh I see! Yes, I write very many letters to my family. Although I speak every day to Mamma and much more now to Papa, I still write a letter every week to them. I write to Uncle Nicu and many others, including many of the Catina crew, of course my Gizzi.

When I first joined this website all of you were so very kind to help me, and the "With love, ~Cat" is all for you showing me love and acceptance here.

To my parents and my family, I sign "All my love, Your Cat," to the crew, I sign "Fair winds and much love, Cat."

I only have two friends I write to and for them I sign, "Love and blessings, Cat." 

Thank you all for your kindness. I think I did misunderstand. English is a difficult language for me sometimes! 

But I like "Sincerely." Mamma says that is proper when addressing unpersonal (is that a word?) correspondence or someone you don't know very well but like very much.

I think the world has indeed become less polite. I think that's why I don't have many friends. Some people of my age seem brash and haughty, as if I owe them something. I don't owe them anything! I do owe my family and friends and the crew and all of you here, and that is why I try to be polite and treat all of you respectfully because you all deserve it and you all treat me very kindly and respectfully, even when some of you have had to fuss at me. Mamma says I'm having "growing pains," where I'm finding out life is full of turns I don't always like!

And I do care for all of you here. Remember how kind Kadesma was to me? When I found out she had passed, I cried. I think we all did, yes?

As long as all of you don't mind, I still like to remind you all that I care for you. Thank you so very much!

With love,
~Cat


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## Zagut

Ms. CatPat,

You are the last person in the world I'd ever think was rude.

If anything I'd think no one could be as sweet as you are.

Whoever fussed about you had there head up a place I shouldn't mention.

Keep being who you are and doing what you do and don't let the naysayers bother you.


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## CarolPa

CatPat said:


> I was fussed at in another place because I sign my posts. I didn't know this was rude!
> 
> Is this better? Have I offended anyone here?




Some people post only to criticize and complain.  I can think of at least one such poster on this forum.


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## CatPat

Oh but I have complained also! Ha! But thank you both for your kindness. I love this place!

With love,
~Cat


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## Dawgluver

Nothing wrong with complaining, Cat.  But some people purposely try to make others miserable or angry on forums.  We call them Trolls.


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## callmaker60

I would leave the site.


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## LPBeier

My Dear Cat, please do not change your signature or yourself - I (and DC) love you just the way you are!


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## Dawgluver

callmaker60 said:


> I would leave the site.



Hopefully, it's just a single incident, and one person's opinion on the other site.  If the situation continues, I would hope a mod or other members would step in.


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## Oldvine

No you are not rude.   Those making those kinds of accusations are usually the rude ones.  You are just fine.


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## Sir_Loin_of_Beef

As the resident expert on rude, I can positively tell you that you couldn't even qualify as an apprentice rude person.


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## Cooking Goddess

CatPat said:


> I was fussed at in another place because I sign my posts. I didn't know this was rude!
> 
> Is this better? Have I offended anyone here?


Geez Cat, "rude" and you should not be in the same sentence! By saying "..in another place" I'm guessing it wasn't here at DC. At least I hope not. If that person called you out in a thread, I hope a moderator let them know it wasn't their place to correct people in threads. If it was in a personal message, and that person continues to send unwanted PMs, you might want to let the mods in that forum know there is a problem.

You're a sweetie - I don't think you know how to be rude.


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## taxlady

Sir_Loin_of_Beef said:


> As the resident expert on rude, I can positively tell you that you couldn't even qualify as an apprentice rude person.




I'm laughing because it's so true.


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## CatPat

Oh no! It was not here! It was in a thread at a political forum where I spoke of a cultural difference. The poster said I was rude to sign my posts, because there is my name and avatar there just like it is here and he said I was arrogant also. Two moderators and the site administrator jumped on him and they gave him infraction points, which isn't good.

It made me think, however. I was worried if any of you thought I was rude or arrogant and so I asked. It's much better to ask rather than to continue to do something which upsets people, yes?

There was probably another problem there. I'm a kind of favorite there and as here, some have taken me within their wings (is this saying right?) like you all have and some people don't like it. I was called a troll and a sock there also, but I stood up for myself. 

That place is not like here, where everyone is so kind and helpful and nice. There are some meanies over there, but I've learned to ignore the insults. I've retaliated sometimes with humor. I remind them of from where I came and if they aren't nice, I'll have my friend Vlad visit them. Ha!

But it's a good place to learn of politics and government and all those issues, and to see how people feel about these issues. I have very many reputation points and thanks of my posts, and I'm learning about politics, and I tell them of Romanian politics also, for some have become interested since the uprising in Ukraine.

I'm so glad we don't speak of politics here! I love how everyone here is so kind. My cooking has definitely improved immensely and my friends and family like it. I haven't poisoned anyone yet, and I've never cooked anything at least my dog wouldn't eat.

I'm so happy to be here. I'm very grateful for all of you and for this website.

With love,
~Cat


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## CatPat

taxlady said:


> I'm laughing because it's so true.



Wait! I joked about his name, remember? That was pretty rude, but it was funny and he wasn't offended. Ha!

With love,
~Cat


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## Cooking Goddess

CatPat said:


> Oh no! It was not here! It was in a thread at a political forum where I spoke of a cultural difference...


There ya go then! I used to participate in a very active sports/politics/everything forum based back in my hometown. Then the sponsor decided to end it, someone else started one to "replace" it, and without real moderators the place went in the dumps really quick. Now there are just a couple people left who go around telling each other how right they are about their views now that they've chased everyone else away from that forum. DC is definitely a kinder and gentler forum.


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## CatPat

Oh that doesn't sound very nice!

I know I love to be here. This is my treasure to my day.

With love,
~Cat


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## salt and pepper

OK. lets be honest, you are not rude! You are a loving contributor to this forum. We, know who you are and respect your thoughts and cooking. If someone out there thinks or is offensive to you or your posts, well they can go to hell! Please do not delete! With Lov , Joey


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## salt and pepper

PS: Lov you!


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## CharlieD

Cat, you tell that person to come see me. I'll teach them what rude Really means.


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## CatPat

You all are so nice! I'm glad signing my posts isn't rude here.

I can be rude. I slapped a cab driver once because he touched my butt.

With love,
~Cat


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## salt and pepper

You can call me if you need a ride! Just feed me!


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## CatPat

salt and pepper said:


> You can call me if you need a ride! Just feed me!



I can do this! These wonderful people here have helped me improve my cooking skills, so I shall certainly not poison you.

With love,
~Cat


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## CraigC

CatPat said:


> You all are so nice! I'm glad signing my posts isn't rude here.
> 
> I can be rude. I slapped a cab driver once because he touched my butt.
> 
> With love,
> ~Cat



That wasn't rude, the cabbie was the rude one. If you ever visit Rome, stay away from farm restaurants in Tivoli! There is a tendency for the strolling minstrels to pinch women's butts. All in good fun.


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## CatPat

Ha! I have been to Rome, but my butt remained untouched so I didn't have to slap anyone!

With love,
~Cat


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## taxlady

I have hit men for grabbing my crotch - with my purse, with an umbrella, and kicked them wearing wooden shoes. I didn't think I was rude. They were.


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## purple.alien.giraffe

I don't think you are rude or arrogant. You do speak in a rather formal manner (not a lot of slang, few contractions, very proper grammar) and some people might see that as stuffy, stand-offish, or arrogant, but that's a fault of our culture. Unfortunately you find the occasional twit who intentionally speaks in a very formal manner to sound smarter or better than others. And there are girls who will end an argument or snotty comment with a flippant "love you" type remark. With only written words to go on, no voice inflection or body language, people who aren't paying attention could mistake you for one of those types. Even speaking in person some people could get that impression. 

However anyone who is paying attention will notice that's not who you are. They'll notice the content of your text (or words) isn't arrogant or rude. They will recognize that English isn't your first language, so it makes sense that it would be stripped of slang and regional speach patterns, that it would be a little text book. They'll notice you're one of the first people to offer encouragment and support to people who are struggling with something, that you offer sympathy and compassion to people who are hurting. They'll notice you offer kind words and a friendly attitude to anyone willing to talk to you.

My recommendation is, if you believe the other person has actually mistaken what you've said as rude or arrogant, appologize and explain. Something like, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude. English isn't my first language so sometimes I sound a little formal," could work well with people who have misunderstood you. You are giving people an opportunity to see that you're actually a really nice person. 

Then the person will either accept it or not. If they accept it, you got the chance to broaden someone's view a little and maybe make them think twice before making future accusations of people. You may even make a new friend who one day will laugh and say, "Remember when I was a tool and thought you were rude? I'm glad we got that cleared up." If they don't accept your apology, oh well, you were reasonable (more than really), they weren't, move on and don't let it bother you. 

Just remember that you aren't apologizing because you are wrong,you are doing it as a tactic to make others re-evaluate their perception of you. If the person is just being mean, trying to bully you in some way, or just looking for a confrontation, skip this tactic and defend yourself. Those people aren't mistaken, they are trying to bring you down and you have every right to stand up to them.

Also remember there are some people who just want to cause trouble. They are looking to get people riled up and they don't actually care who the other person is. Those are the aformentioned trolls and it's best to ignore them. They're like all other pests, provide a food source and it gives them a reason to come back. You can try to get rid of them yourself but a lot of times it's best to let the exterminators (moderators) deal with them.

Sincerely,
Chief Longwind's daughter (because I'm pretty sure this is longer than his reply to the question)


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## purple.alien.giraffe

Ummm, yeah, now that it's posted, definitely longer.

TL;DR You're not rude, people misunderstand stuff, mean people suck, and you go and be you girl! Or something like that.


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## GotGarlic

p.a.g., lots of good thoughts here. Thanks


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## Cooking Goddess

purple.alien.giraffe said:


> ............Lots of good stuff......................Sincerely,
> Chief Longwind's daughter (because I'm pretty sure this is longer than his reply to the question)


About halfway through I thought "the apple is pretty near the tree right now"!  But all that you said is good stuff. ~~~ Did you catch that Cat? Everything p.a.g. said is good advice.


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## CatPat

Oh my.

I see this Purple, I thank you so very much.

But this of being said, I do try to show respect.

I am very worried of being disrespectful and ignorant sometimes. I think it is because of my culture, for I'm not a real American.

Thank you so very much! This is good advice and I thank you.


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## Addie

CatPat said:


> Oh my.
> 
> I see this Purple, I thank you so very much.
> 
> But this of being said, I do try to show respect.
> 
> I am very worried of being disrespectful and ignorant sometimes. I think it is because of my culture, for I'm not a real American.
> 
> Thank you so very much! This is good advice and I thank you.



Who said you are not a "Real American?" Cat you are as real as any American I have ever known. Don't ever let anyone tell you anything different.


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## PrincessFiona60

Addie said:


> Who said you are not a "Real American?" Cat you are as real as any American I have ever known. Don't ever let anyone tell you anything different.



That's exactly what I was thinking.  ~Cat, you are a real American, you even have papers that say so...that's more than I have.  You have never been rude, ignore that person on the other forum...they have farts for brains.


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## Zagut

CatPat, You're as real as it gets. No such thing as a "Real" American. There are only Americans and you fit the bill just fine. 


 PF, I think you're giving that other person too much credit and you're being insulting to farts.


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## PrincessFiona60

Zagut said:


> CatPat, You're as real as it gets. No such thing as a "Real" American. There are only Americans and you fit the bill just fine.
> 
> 
> *PF, I think you're giving that other person too much credit and you're being insulting to farts.*



Well, I was trying to not be rude...


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## Mad Cook

CatPat said:


> You all are so nice! I'm glad signing my posts isn't rude here.
> 
> I can be rude. I slapped a cab driver once because he touched my butt.
> 
> With love,
> ~Cat


Good for you. And I hope you reported him to the cab company and the cab licensing authority.


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## Mad Cook

CatPat said:


> Oh my.
> 
> I see this Purple, I thank you so very much.
> 
> But this of being said, I do try to show respect.
> 
> I am very worried of being disrespectful and ignorant sometimes. I think it is because of my culture, for I'm not a real American.
> 
> Thank you so very much! This is good advice and I thank you.


"Not a real American" - who is really? All American citizens are descended from people who came from somewhere else even if it was hundreds of years ago - even the ancestors of the Native Americans are believed to have come from elsewhere albeit thousands of years ago.

In the same vein I have a cousin whom I love dearly but who is a bit bigoted in some things. She was sounding off about immigrants on one occasion and things got a bit heated between her, her teenaged sons, her sister and me. I pointed out that all Britons are descended from immigrants (ie Celts, Romans, Danes, Angles, Saxons, and Jutes, the Normans and so on over the centuries). She drew herself up to her full height (5' 2" on a good day) and very indignantly said "_Our_ family aren't descended from immigrants. _We_ came over with William the Conqueror in 1066". She had no idea why we were all falling about laughing. 

I'm sure you are a thoroughly good and conscientious American so don't let anyone put you down.


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## Zagut

PrincessFiona60 said:


> Well, I was trying to not be rude...


 
 And us old farts appreciate that.


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## CatPat

I love all of you! Thank you so very much for all your kindness to me!

I'm sorry I don't communicate well sometimes. I meant the "real American" as one who is born here. 

I have read this through again, and it feels to me I love my new country and this website so much more again. It is true that Americans, somewhere, from 1492, came from other countries.

As for the farts, DA farts and she just laughs. She says she's entitled to these. Ha!

Azia farts, and she and I BOTH go outside. The cats are on their own.

With love,
~Cat


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## cara

I read through the whole thread and I still don't know why signing a post is considered to be more rude than not signing??
Maybe someone can explain that to me...?

Is it different at your side of the sea? 
Here in "good old Europe" it's a sign of manner to sign whatever you write. 
I would consider it rather impolite not to sign..


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## GotGarlic

cara said:


> I read through the whole thread and I still don't know why signing a post is considered to be more rude than not signing??
> Maybe someone can explain that to me...?
> 
> Is it different at your side of the sea?
> Here in "good old Europe" it's a sign of manner to sign whatever you write.
> I would consider it rather impolite not to sign..



Cara, it was someone on another forum who said that to Cat. Everyone here is assuring her that it's not, and she's not  There's no explaining the weird things some people say


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## Zagut

GotGarlic said:


> There's no explaining the weird things some people say




 And that's one of the things that makes life so interesting.


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## CatPat

Life is certainly interesting! 

Sometimes it's so interesting I turn off the computer and hide away to my pets and my books and my journal.

I've looked at things (not here!) that simply scare me!

With love,
~Cat


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## GotGarlic

CatPat said:


> Life is certainly interesting!
> 
> Sometimes it's so interesting I turn off the computer and hide away to my pets and my books and my journal.
> 
> I've looked at things (not here!) that simply scare me!
> 
> With love,
> ~Cat



Yeah, I try to avoid those kinds of things usually. Who needs the extra stress?


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## CatPat

GotGarlic said:


> Yeah, I try to avoid those kinds of things usually. Who needs the extra stress?



This is so true! 

This is why life is so very nice here where there are all of you here. All of you are very different yet with same things, and this is such a very happy place for me! 

As long as I am not perceived as rude here and I may continue to sign my posts as respect and love to you all, I see no reason for to continue of this, yes?

I think we can put this thread now to bed and go forward to the rest of all the topics here while saying good night to this one, yes?

Good night to questions of rudeness, let this rest here,

With love,
~Cat


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## Dawgluver

This thread is now closed.


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