# Who is the primary cook in your household?



## Cooking Goddess (Feb 14, 2019)

Are you chief cook and bottle washer? Or do you relax and let dinner come to you? Feel free to expound on your poll answer.


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## JustJoel (Feb 14, 2019)

Mark always claims he can cook, but I’ve never seen evidence of it!


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## msmofet (Feb 14, 2019)

My DD's take turns helping me.


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## Rocklobster (Feb 14, 2019)

I do most of the cooking..I always have..I want to and look forward to it..my partner would do if ever I didn't want to..she can and had for years..she was the chief cook and bottle washer of her previous relationship raising her two boys. We have a deal that I cook and she cleans, but if I really trash the kitchen, I help with the bulk of the clearing up, rinsing pans and loading the dishwasher, etc..when it comes to wiping down surfaces, she tells me to get lost..her standards are higher than mine..lol..


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## Just Cooking (Feb 14, 2019)

I cook, Jeannie washes the dishes..
I put any leftovers in fridge or freezer vessels and clean the stove and CI cookware (too heavy for her), if used.. 

We both dry and put things away.. We don't use the dish washer..

Ross


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## Andy M. (Feb 14, 2019)

I do almost all the cooking. SO has a few dishes she makes. She also does a lot of baking but I do some too. She's a good cook.


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## Katie H (Feb 14, 2019)

I do all the cooking in our house.  I don't mind because I like to cook and enjoy introducing Glenn to new things.  He's fallen in love with Cornish hens.  Never had them until he met me.


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## roadfix (Feb 14, 2019)

50/50 for most generic cooking.
But if we're having Latin food, my wife does the cooking 95% of the time.    
Outdoor cooking, I'm in charge of that, 100%.


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## Kayelle (Feb 14, 2019)

I do all of the cooking, including outdoor grilling and I like it that way. My Souschef (hubby) makes it a pleasure as he does a lot of the prep and all of the clean up. I knew he was a keeper when the first time I ever cooked for him, he told me to go sit outside while he cleaned the kitchen. Having him by my side in the kitchen (when I want him there) is better than getting flowers every day.


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## cookieee (Feb 14, 2019)

My partner does the big stuff, but I help			
My partner does everything - lucky, lucky me


I was torn between these two. Sad to say, there are more days when DH does everything, yes, lucky me, but there are some days when I can help with the cleaning up.  I really do miss the days when I did all the cooking and cleaning. It is so hard to have to give up ones kitchen, right ladies?


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## JustJoel (Feb 14, 2019)

cookieee said:


> My partner does the big stuff, but I help
> My partner does everything - lucky, lucky me
> 
> 
> I was torn between these two. Sad to say, there are more days when DH does everything, yes, lucky me, but there are some days when I can help with the cleaning up.  I really do miss the days when I did all the cooking and cleaning. It is so hard to have to give up ones kitchen, right ladies?


May I gently remind you that not all of us are ladies, or even female?


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## cookieee (Feb 14, 2019)

JustJoel said:


> May I gently remind you that not all of us are ladies, or even female?



lol  I know that Joel, you mean there are men that hate to give up their kitchen?


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## GotGarlic (Feb 14, 2019)

cookieee said:


> lol  I know that Joel, you mean there are men that hate to give up their kitchen?


If a man is the primary cook in his household, I imagine he would hate to have to give it up.


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## cookieee (Feb 14, 2019)

I still think there are some ladies out there that know what I mean. lol


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## tenspeed (Feb 14, 2019)

I've always done most of the cooking, but since I cut back my working hours 5 years ago, my other half happily has not cooked a meal or has seen the inside of a grocery store.  And just to be clear, I ain't no lady.


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## cookieee (Feb 14, 2019)

tenspeed said:


> I've always done most of the cooking, but since I cut back my working hours 5 years ago, my other half happily has not cooked a meal or has seen the inside of a grocery store.  And just to be clear, I ain't no lady.


 
tenspeed, if you WERE a lady, you would be working faster than tenspeed in the kitchen.  (oh, I hope you have a good sense of humor)

It has been about the same time since DH took over the kitchen and I have not seen the inside of a grocery store since then either. I do get to look at the weekly sales ads tho and help pick out the menu for the week. And every once in a while, I go to the spice cabinet and put the spices BACK in alphabetical order. lol


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## JustJoel (Feb 14, 2019)

cookieee said:


> lol  I know that Joel, you mean there are men that hate to give up their kitchen?


Considering that many of the most renowned chefs are men, I’d say that’s a good bet!

And I’ll bet there are thousands of women, tasked with cooking for their family, who would pay someone to have their kitchen burned to the ground!


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## tenspeed (Feb 14, 2019)

JustJoel said:


> And I’ll bet there are thousands of women, tasked with cooking for their family, who would pay someone to have their kitchen burned to the ground!


  I'll raise your bet.  I'm betting that there are far more women (especially those that work and have kids) that would happily give up their kitchens and have someone else do the cooking than those who would be unhappy about losing it.  DC members aren't a good representation of the entire population.


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## cookieee (Feb 14, 2019)

Gentlemen, I am sorry, apparently you have missed the point. I am talking about us few women that HAD to give up their kitchens. Not the women that would like a break now and then.


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## Dawgluver (Feb 14, 2019)

Historically, I did all the cooking, etc. Now that I live alone,I still do all the cooking, etc!


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## Kaneohegirlinaz (Feb 14, 2019)

I was hard pressed here, I gotta say *CG*,
there's no "I do it all, SO doesn't do diddly-squat" 

I do the majority of everything that involves
the two of us eating at home.
Shopping
Prepping
Cooking
Clean up
But y'know, I really enjoy it now that I'm retired.

DH use to do all of the dishes when we first got married, 
now he empties out the clean dishes from the dishwasher
and puts everything away.  I _*HATE*_ doing that part,
so, it works out.


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## Cheryl J (Feb 14, 2019)

I just voted on "I live alone...."  I mostly cook for myself, with the exception of major holiday dinners.


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## Rascal (Feb 15, 2019)

I do it all, the wife says the kitchens for walking through to the lounge,lol. I've done it for about 30 years.

Russ


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## taxlady (Feb 15, 2019)

I do most of the cooking, even though I don't do a lot of it these days. DH helps a bit. He also does some of the cooking. When he does, I chop any onions that need chopping, because it doesn't bother me and it really helps him out. There are a few dishes that he usually or always makes. He does the lasagna and the tacos as well as any chilli. Sometimes he makes some Danish dishes that he really likes. He's more willing to cook the frozen, stuffed pasta than me. If there is a recipe that we haven't made before, 99% chance that I'm the one doing the cooking.


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## caseydog (Feb 15, 2019)

You forgot the option of _"I do all the cooking, since my useless dog can't cook."_ 

When I was married, we both cooked, but I was the better cook, and she could bake like a pro. 

I was a better cook, because she was too obsessed with recipes and measurements, which is important in baking, but ruins cooking (IMO). 

She was freaked out the first time she saw me cook. But, she finally "got it." Cooking is mostly art, and baking is mostly science. We became a pretty good team in the kitchen. 

CD


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## Cooking Goddess (Feb 15, 2019)

*cd*, I didn't think of it since we don't have a dog. 



Kaneohegirlinaz said:


> I was hard pressed here, I gotta say *CG*,
> there's no "I do it all, SO doesn't do diddly-squat" ...


I was trying to be polite! My first, thought, though, was to phrase it "...my partner doesn't do "chit". :

Himself does nothing. Not prep, not cook, not clean up - nothing. Boy, does he lead a charmed life.  Most of the time I'm just fine with it. I'm particular about how to use my tools - he'd put the cast iron in the dishwasher. I'm picky about my produce - if he shopped, he'd bring home bruised veggies and unripe fruit. And his timing for most everything else is bad, so we'd be eating our meat-potato-veggies in courses! 

Still, we love our guys, right *K-Girl*? RIGHT?


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## JustJoel (Feb 15, 2019)

Cooking Goddess said:


> *cd*, I didn't think of it since we don't have a dog.
> 
> 
> I was trying to be polite! My first, thought, though, was to phrase it "...my partner doesn't do "chit". :
> ...


Hah! Mark will load the dishwasher, but he’s under strict orders not to start it until I’ve checked it out and removed my knives and anything plastic that might warp. I also like to wash my measuring spoons and cups by hand. Mark just doesn’t seem to get that although knives are made of metal, the dishwasher can damage them!


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## Cooking Goddess (Feb 15, 2019)

cookieee said:


> ...Sad to say, there are more days when DH does everything, yes, lucky me, but there are some days when I can help with the cleaning up.  I really do miss the days when I did all the cooking and cleaning. It is so hard to have to give up ones kitchen, right ladies people?


There, *cookie*, I fixed it for ya. 

I suppose it depends on the reason one gives up their kitchen. If Himself walked in one day and said "I'll do all the cooking so you can 1) read, 2) do artwork, 3) sort through things to get rid of" I'd probably hide the cast iron and let him cook - for a while. Then I'd kick him out. If it was for a medical reason on my part, I'd be sad. My SIL came down with a muscular disease while they still lived in FL. She could do nothing - even getting out of a chair was above her strength level. She couldn't even shower - thankfully, they had a huge shower that could accommodate a molded plastic chair. She would sit while her dear DH shampooed and showered her. He had to assume all the cooking chores, but that wasn't a challenge. When they first got married he was still in college and had been cooking for himself for a few years. He continued to cook while she was the breadwinner. Anyway, my SIL was still working with medical people to get herself back to 100% functional when they moved up here. For the first year or so, until her meds were perfectly balanced and she was regaining strength, I'd run meals up to them a few days a week, he did the rest of the cooking. Once my SIL was almost up to full speed, she started back with cooking again. Even though she had been mostly "I cook because we have to eat" kind of cook, she was happy to get back to banging pots and pans in the kitchen. Now her challenge, with their move from here to NC, is to learn how to cook on a gas range for the first time in her life.


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## Cooking Goddess (Feb 15, 2019)

JustJoel said:


> Hah! Mark will load the dishwasher, but he’s under strict orders not to start it...


Our house rules, too! Himself loads things willy-nilly. I know how to get them in there to pack in the most and still have them come out clean.

Himself knows that if he puts any knife into the dishwasher that isn't one of the plastic handled bank premium steak knifes, he risks me taking that good knife and pinning him to the counter with it.   Not really, since I don't want to chip the counter.

I wash my measuring cups and spoons by hand, too. They are professional quality Cuisipro tools, and I treat them like fine jewelry.


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## JustJoel (Feb 15, 2019)

Cooking Goddess said:


> Our house rules, too! Himself loads things willy-nilly. I know how to get them in there to pack in the most and still have them come out clean.
> 
> Himself knows that if he puts any knife into the dishwasher that isn't one of the plastic handled bank premium steak knifes, he risks me taking that good knife and pinning him to the counter with it.   Not really, since I don't want to chip the counter.
> 
> I wash my measuring cups and spoons by hand, too. They are professional quality Cuisipro tools, and I treat them like fine jewelry.


My measuring spoons are cheap plastic grocery store-bought, but they’ve got raised amounts instead painted on. The only reason I like to wash them by hand is because if Mark puts ‘em in the dishwasher and then I decide to make something, I can’t find them! 

I’ve got a four cup Pyrex cup (used to have a two cup as well, but it dropped and broke), and a plastic two cupper. I like the plastic one because it’s graded on the spout side and marked with the measurements on the inside. It makes it very easy to measure liquids accurately. I had two of them, but one went into the dishwasher; it didn’t melt, it cracked.


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## Cheryl J (Feb 15, 2019)

Speaking of dishwashers....does anyone else remember back in the days of those crazy hot heating elements in the bottom of dishwashers, and having ice cube trays or spatulas fall down there and melt....


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## Aunt Bea (Feb 15, 2019)

The folks at Stouffer's and the local deli are the primary cooks, I still help out when and where I can.


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## caseydog (Feb 15, 2019)

Cheryl J said:


> Speaking of dishwashers....does anyone else remember back in the days of those crazy hot heating elements in the bottom of dishwashers, and having ice cube trays or spatulas fall down there and melt....



Oh yeah. I came home from class in college to my apartment and thought it was on fire. Just a plastic spatula that fell through the racks.

CD


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## caseydog (Feb 15, 2019)

JustJoel said:


> Hah! Mark will load the dishwasher, but he’s under strict orders not to start it until I’ve checked it out and removed my knives and anything plastic that might warp. I also like to wash my measuring spoons and cups by hand. Mark just doesn’t seem to get that although knives are made of metal, the dishwasher can damage them!



I'm going to get grief for this, but I sometimes wash my knives by hand, and sometimes put them in the dishwasher, and I have not, in 20 years, noticed a difference as far as longevity or sharpness of the knife. 

Flame suit on, and target placed perfectly centered in my chest. 

CD


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## cjmmytunes (Feb 15, 2019)

I do the actual cooking, but Mom helps me by doing the prep work that can be done sitting at the kitchen table or in her chair in the living room.  She will peel and slice cucumbers for me, snap beans, things like that.


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## buckytom (Feb 15, 2019)

We're a 60/40 split on the food shopping, with me doing the 60%. I often get a list from DW on my way home from work in the morning. Since I'm driving 50 miles home, I pass a lot of different kinds of markets.

When it comes to cooking, my wife cooks 70% of the meals for herself and our son (I usually just pick at  what she makes just to be at the table as a family).  I cook or bring home takeout for the other 30% for all of us.

However, I am a big boy and pretty much feed myself separately because of my work hours.  If I ask my wife to make enough extra of whatever she's cooking for me to take to work, she'll oblige, but most of the time I get takeout, eat doctored up leftovers, or cook for myself.

I've always thought that all young adults ahould live by themselves for at least 2 years. No roommates, no significant others. You learn how to feed yourself, and clean for yourself, and so on. It helps later on in life, especially when taking care of family.


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## cookieee (Feb 15, 2019)

cookieee said:


> My partner does the big stuff, but I help
> My partner does everything - lucky, lucky me
> 
> 
> I was torn between these two. Sad to say, there are more days when DH does everything, yes, lucky me, but there are some days when I can help with the cleaning up.  I really do miss the days when I did all the cooking and cleaning. It is so hard to have to give up ones kitchen, right ladies?



This is what I said and this is what I meant.    For those that don't know this, but men and women think differently.   I have my reasons for making this statement, "It is so hard to HAVE to give up ones kitchen, right LADIES?"


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## GotGarlic (Feb 15, 2019)

JustJoel said:


> My measuring spoons are cheap plastic grocery store-bought, but they’ve got raised amounts instead painted on. The only reason I like to wash them by hand is because if Mark puts ‘em in the dishwasher and then I decide to make something, I can’t find them!



I have three sets of dry measuring cups - plastic (from eons ago), metal, and beautiful ceramic ones, as well as three sets of measuring spoons. I'm tempted to get another, with rectangular instead of round spoons, so they will fit in my spice jars. 



JustJoel said:


> I’ve got a four cup Pyrex cup (used to have a two cup as well, but it dropped and broke), and a plastic two cupper. I like the plastic one because it’s graded on the spout side and marked with the measurements on the inside. It makes it very easy to measure liquids accurately. I had two of them, but one went into the dishwasher; it didn’t melt, it cracked.



I have a four-cup, a two-cup and a one-cup glass Pyrex measuring cups - sometimes I use them all in one meal! [emoji38]


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## GotGarlic (Feb 15, 2019)

I do most of the cooking, although DH has learned how to make a few dishes. I was really sick several years ago and have had several surgeries with weeks of recovery, so he had to. Sometimes I get something going and run out of energy, so he finishes it (he really hates chopping things). He does most of the cleaning up and I usually put away leftovers. It all works out


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## taxlady (Feb 15, 2019)

cookieee said:


> This is what I said and this is what I meant.    For those that don't know this, but men and women think differently.   I have my reasons for making this statement, "It is so hard to HAVE to give up ones kitchen, right LADIES?"


 Does that mean you don't want to know how men feel about it?

Don't most human beings find it hard to have to give up any activity they don't hate?


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## cookieee (Feb 15, 2019)

taxlady said:


> Does that mean you don't want to know how men feel about it?
> 
> Don't most human beings find it hard to have to give up any activity they don't hate?



Let's just say, how men feel won't help me, and just leave it at that.


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## Kayelle (Feb 15, 2019)

Cookieee, I think everyone could better understand your feelings if you actually told us why you had to give up your kitchen. Why be so vague?


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## cookieee (Feb 15, 2019)

Kayelle said:


> Cookieee, I think everyone could better understand your feelings if you actually told us why you had to give up your kitchen. Why be so vague?



Because knowing why, won't make any difference. I just thought there might be someone out there that could relate to my situation. Apparently not. Never mind.


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## JustJoel (Feb 15, 2019)

cookieee said:


> Because knowing why, won't make any difference. I just thought there might be someone out there that could relate to my situation. Apparently not. Never mind.


So, you’re saying that only “ladies” can relate to your situation? I find that to be a bit insulting, actually. And it smacks a bit of misandry. And closed-mindedness.


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## roadfix (Feb 15, 2019)

I do 30% of grocery shopping.


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## cookieee (Feb 15, 2019)

JustJoel said:


> So, you’re saying that only “ladies” can relate to your situation? I find that to be a bit insulting, actually. And it smacks a bit of misandry. And closed-mindedness.



Joel, were you taught how to be a mother and wife and how to take care of a home and the responibilities that go with it?


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## cookieee (Feb 15, 2019)

CG  sorry about this


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## Kayelle (Feb 15, 2019)

cookieee said:


> Because knowing why, won't make any difference. I just thought there might be someone out there that could relate to my situation. Apparently not. Never mind.




All righty then. Since we don't know your situation, so much for that.


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## taxlady (Feb 15, 2019)

cookieee said:


> Joel, were you taught how to be a mother and wife and how to take care of a home and the responibilities that go with it?


I wasn't.


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## JustJoel (Feb 15, 2019)

cookieee said:


> Joel, were you taught how to be a mother and wife and how to take care of a home and the responibilities that go with it?


Were you? I’ve never heard of “how to be a mother” classes being part of a school’s curriculum. And if you say your mother taught you, well, maybe she did. But I’ll bet it was by example, and if that’s the case, yeah, I learned the same lessons. And taking care of a home? For darned near all of my adult life. And you don’t think men take on the roll of tending the home, looking after the kids, cooking and cleaning and making household budgets? Welcome to the 21st century! Why do you think a man who loves to cook would feel any differently about losing the use of his kitchen?


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## CharlieD (Feb 15, 2019)

JustJoel said:


> Mark always claims he can cook, but I’ve never seen evidence of it!





Thank you for the laugh. Reminds me if my DW. I’d come home and kiss tell me that mommy made dinner. And then whisper “make sure to tell her how good it is”


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## CharlieD (Feb 15, 2019)

In all the truth I’m lucky. I cook my wife cleans after me. The best arrangement ever. I hate cleaning


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## CharlieD (Feb 15, 2019)

JustJoel said:


> May I gently remind you that not all of us are ladies, or even female?





You have not met my wife. She hates kitchen.


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## GotGarlic (Feb 15, 2019)

cookieee said:


> Joel, were you taught how to be a mother and wife and how to take care of a home and the responibilities that go with it?





taxlady said:


> I wasn't.


Neither was I.


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## Cooking Goddess (Feb 15, 2019)

cookieee said:


> CG sorry about this


Oh no, it's quite alright. I'm just sitting here enjoying the show. 








You're the one who opened the faucet on this discussion with cryptic comments like


cookieee said:


> ... I have my reasons for making this statement, "It is so hard to HAVE to give up ones kitchen, right LADIES?"


No one has ever accused me of being a "lady". So...as a lady, would one have to give up kitchen duty because one didn't want to chip their nail polish or dirty their party dress? I don't understand the "lady" thing.



cookieee said:


> Let's just say, how men feel won't help me, and just leave it at that.


Little did you realize what a bunch of nosy curious people some of us here at DC are.  You can't be vague and tease us with jigsaw puzzle pieces and then not give us all of the pieces.



cookieee said:


> Because knowing why, won't make any difference. I just thought there might be someone out there that could relate to my situation. Apparently not. Never mind.


HOW can we relate to your situation unless we know what your situation IS? 

OK, I get it. It's so very very personal that you don't want to post it. Fine. As they now say in educational circles, let's let this be a learning experience.  Just don't post vague, shaded comments and not expect a barrage of questions again.


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## buckytom (Feb 15, 2019)

I have 4 older sisters, so I certainly was taught how to be a lady. Often until I cried, just like the real thing.

Does that count?


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## cookieee (Feb 15, 2019)

OK, 10 years ago I has breast cancer. Lost a breast. DH  took over for awhile. 5 years ago, in hospital and rehab for 2 weeks, DH took over. Unable to stand for more than 5 minutes at a time. DH took over. DH enjoyed cooking , I can't walk without support. Small kitchen, try to help, in DH way.  And the list goes on. I am having a hard time finding a reason ..........enough said.


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## taxlady (Feb 15, 2019)

buckytom said:


> I have 4 older sisters, so I certainly was taught how to be a lady. Often until I cried, just like the real thing.
> 
> Does that count?


 

Four older sisters! Oh my!


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## Cooking Goddess (Feb 15, 2019)

cookieee said:


> OK....enough said.


Wow, *cookie*, that's a whole lot of spit hitting the fan in 10 years.  Sorry for all of your medical issues. I think it would have been just fine with a "medical issues" or "female problems", though. It's wonderful that your hubby has been such a great help over the years.  If I were in your shoes, we'd be eating bologna sandwiches every night. My guy can't even make a proper pan of scrambled eggs.

BTW, if you ever want to share medical issues, or even just general aches and pains, we have a thread for that purpose. Hop on over to *The Sick Room*. If you skim through the posts there, you'll find out we really can be a caring and sympathetic bunch.


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## Cooking Goddess (Feb 15, 2019)

buckytom said:


> I have 4 older sisters, so I certainly was taught how to be a lady. Often until I cried, just like the real thing.


 Well THAT explains a lot! 

I bet there are photos of you in dresses and bows.


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## PrincessFiona60 (Feb 15, 2019)

Cookieee...I no longer cook because, a tiny bit less than a year ago my Shrek (37 years married) died of bladder cancer.  I have been through all the breast cancer, bladder cancer, heart attacks things and I'm here to tell you, we are a bunch of folks who truly care about each other.  Best support group out there.


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## buckytom (Feb 15, 2019)

Cooking Goddess said:


> Well THAT explains a lot!
> 
> I bet there are photos of you in dresses and bows.



Yes, and some were even from when I was a kid...


+1 to what PF said, btw.


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## simonbaker (Feb 16, 2019)

He cooks 90 percent of the time.


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## caseydog (Feb 16, 2019)

Okay, where's the brain bleach. 

CD


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## caseydog (Feb 16, 2019)

CharlieD said:


> In all the truth I’m lucky. I cook my wife cleans after me. The best arrangement ever. I hate cleaning



The wife and I usually cleaned the kitchen together after cooking and eating. I hate cleaning, but it wasn't bad with both of us cleaning and talking. It wasn't as much of a "chore." 

CD


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## caseydog (Feb 16, 2019)

cookieee said:


> OK, 10 years ago I has breast cancer. Lost a breast. DH  took over for awhile. 5 years ago, in hospital and rehab for 2 weeks, DH took over. Unable to stand for more than 5 minutes at a time. DH took over. DH enjoyed cooking , I can't walk without support. Small kitchen, try to help, in DH way.  And the list goes on. I am having a hard time finding a reason ..........enough said.



Cookieee, my mom can barely walk anymore, and my dad can't sit still for more than five minutes. So, my dad does most of the cooking, and all of the after meal cleanup. They have a maid in once a week for the bigger stuff. 

In my mom's case, she doesn't mind one bit. She was born to be waited on hand and foot. 

In my dad's case, it keeps him busy, and he lives to be busy. He eats, sleeps and stays busy. He's always been that way. 

BTW, there are quite a few cancer survivors on DC, including me. I'm glad to hear you are still with us. 

CD


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## cookieee (Feb 16, 2019)

caseydog said:


> Cookieee, my mom can barely walk anymore, and my dad can't sit still for more than five minutes. So, my dad does most of the cooking, and all of the after meal cleanup. They have a maid in once a week for the bigger stuff.
> 
> In my mom's case, she doesn't mind one bit. She was born to be waited on hand and foot.
> 
> ...



CD, so sorry about your mom. 

As I am used to saying, we may live in Boca, but we're not rich  Would love to have a maid once in a while, I think DH probably would also. lol

Congratulations fellow survivors  to us all.


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