# Stop Doing This at Restaurants...



## Andy M. (Jun 12, 2017)

How many of you are guilty of these "infractions"?


Dear Everyone: Stop Doing This At Restaurants


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## roadfix (Jun 12, 2017)

I'm not guilty with any of them.   Most are just common sense.


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## Sagittarius (Jun 12, 2017)

I agree that these ítems in the Video are common sense as well .. 

Good post ..  
Thank you Andy ..


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## larry_stewart (Jun 12, 2017)

Guilty of two.

We do stack our plates ( sometimes at the end of the dinner if we are waiting),  But like mentioned in the article, its always neatly done, biggest to smallest, no food or utensils disrupting the balance.  Usually all the silverware on a separate plate, neatly placed.  I even wipe the crumbs up sometimes.  I don't like a mess.

Second, I like to review my check first before I pay.  So its not that my payment method isn't ready and available, but I think I have the right to double check and make sure everything was entered in correctly.


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## Kayelle (Jun 12, 2017)

Actually, I think I'm completely innocent on all counts. Stacking glasses? Who would ever do that at home? One gripe* I* have is I want my dinner plate cleared quickly after I'm done eating. I hate sitting for a long period of time, looking at a dirty dinner plate.
Glad you brought that up Larry.....yep, I want to review the bill also, *after *my plate has been cleared.


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## Andy M. (Jun 12, 2017)

My biggest issue from the list is when diners help clear the table. I find it very annoying.  I'm paying restaurant prices so I don't have to do that stuff. No prepping, no cooking,  no cleanup. 

If you give the server your credit card when he brings the bill, you still have plenty of time to review the bill before you sign on the dotted line.


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## Steve Kroll (Jun 12, 2017)

Okay, maybe this is just me.

While most of these seem completely justified and common sense, others sound like nitpicky server complaints. The one thing on that list that rubs me the wrong way is the if-you're-finished-with-your-meal-GET-OUT point.

I'm sorry, but I go out to dinner, not only to eat, but also to socialize with friends. It should be relaxing and enjoyable, and I really dislike feeling like I'm being pushed out the door when dinner is done. Now granted, if a place is super busy and I see a sea of people waiting for a table, I'll try to vacate and suggest we go somewhere else for an after dinner activity (drinks, dessert, conversation).

From the other side of the fence, one policy that annoys me is an overly busy, trendy restaurant that doesn't take reservations. The way I see it, I want to patronize your restaurant and spend money there. But if you don't take reservations, it means I'm simply rolling the dice when I show up. There's nothing more aggravating to me than being hungry and standing for an hour waiting for a table to become available. In those situations, I'm pretty much guaranteed to be in a bad mood before I even look at the menu.

I've always liked the European approach to dining: if you make a reservation and show up, the expectation is that the table is yours for the evening. The food generally costs a little more, but it makes for a much more relaxing night out.

One novel approach I recently ran across is a local restaurant that offers two-seatings a night. Similar to what movie theaters do. You make a reservation for 6:00pm and the table is completely yours until 8:00. Then there is an 8:00-10:00 pm seating. What I like is that it completely sets up expectations for all parties. I really liked it myself.


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## CraigC (Jun 12, 2017)

Wow, we are now listening to servers "petty vents". I know what good service is and in most cases, where food is delayed, have no issue with the server. they know by the 20%+ tip left. But there are times when the fault lies with the server. I've watched servers leave food under heat lamps until they feel like bringing it to the table. I hate when we are a party of two and the waiter/waitress blow us off for the large party in their section, for a greater possibility of a larger tip. So, we are supposed to be "trained", by servers to be good customers? Sorry you have that backwards.


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## larry_stewart (Jun 12, 2017)

Andy M. said:


> If you give the server your credit card when he brings the bill, you still have plenty of time to review the bill before you sign on the dotted line.



True, but I prefer to review the check first, before handing over cash or card.  I understand they have other tables to tend to, and from this article,  I can see that they're prefer not to keep walking by or glancing over to see if I have left the card there.  Honestly, Although annoying to them, thats kinda part of the job.  I can't see how one way or another would really make that much of a difference.  I mean thats part of their job, to wait tables.   They're doing walk by's to check if the water glass is filled.  They come over at least once or twice to ask if everything is ok.  Honestly, they should always have an eye on all their tables, since thats the only real way of communicating.


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## Kaneohegirlinaz (Jun 12, 2017)

We too stacked dishes, correctly I might add, as well as reviewing our bill prior to handing over our payment.
Too many times they have been incorrect


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## powerplantop (Jun 12, 2017)

You want a quick answer to how is the food? 

Do not ask me the split second after I have taken a large bite.


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## Cooking Goddess (Jun 13, 2017)

Most of the list is common sense. I guess because common sense is in short supply we need to be told these things?  

The only item we do regularly is stack dirty plates, However, having had two children who worked as servers, we were "trained" to stack properly. Which, actually, is the way my Mom trained me when I would clear our dinner table.

One time we were out with the kids, it was a smaller table, and there were four of us. When we finished with the apps, I stacked the plates neatly and set them off to the side of the table. Loverly said "you pre-bus?" I looked at her, pointed to the plates, and said "that? Is it OK?" Both kids, in unison, said "yeah, we like when people pre-bus, as long as it's done right". 


Now, every time I listen to the news or PBS/NPR and they mention the name of the Incumbent's Chief of Staff, I visualize a stack of dirty plates. Take that as you may...


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## Aunt Bea (Jun 13, 2017)

Don't linger rubs me the wrong way.  

I rarely go out to dinner so when I do I like to socialize and relax.  

I'm definitely a lingerer, I'm also a darn good tipper unless I'm aggravated by a pushy server. 

We have an old comfortable restaurant in town that is always busy.  When the owner surveys the dining room and sees a few chatty lingerers he starts working the room and asks the people at the tables to join him in the bar for a complimentary drink.  I think that is a tactful way to turn a table at a nominal cost to the restaurant.


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## GotGarlic (Jun 13, 2017)

This is a symptom of too many "news" outlets and not enough news.


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## CraigC (Jun 13, 2017)

Aunt Bea said:


> Don't linger rubs me the wrong way.
> 
> I rarely go out to dinner so when I do I like to socialize and relax.
> 
> ...



How about a disappearing/non-attentive server. You know the ones you have to flag down because they rarely come to the table to check how things are going or never after service until they bring the check. There are those that you have to flag down even to get the check.


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## Just Cooking (Jun 13, 2017)

GotGarlic said:


> This is a symptom of too many "news" outlets and not enough news.




Exactly my thought as I read this...


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## Snip 13 (Jun 13, 2017)

I can't find the link to the video posted but since I've been a waitress and restaurant manager I can honestly say that the customer is not always right but neither is the server. Clearing your table is ok in my book. If they can't keep up why not? I hate sitting with a table full of empty plates. As long as customers don't verbally abuse staff and give a decent tip they should get what they want and pay for.


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## GA Home Cook (Jun 15, 2017)

I agree with Steve on the get out.  I tip well, but especially when I travel I to relax.  Also to the waiters - if I order a salad or soup, I need at least 2 minutes to eat it, don't bring my meal before eat my appy.  To customers - if you have to blow your nose - for goodness sakes go to the bathroom.


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## Bigjim68 (Jun 15, 2017)

Andy M. said:


> My biggest issue from the list is when diners help clear the table. I find it very annoying.  I'm paying restaurant prices so I don't have to do that stuff. No prepping, no cooking,  no cleanup.
> 
> *If you give the server your credit card when he brings the bill, you still have plenty of time to review the bill before you sign on the dotted line.*



Not always.  In quite a few restaurants I frequent the itemized bill comes first and the credit card bill is not itemized.  I want to review the bill before the final bill is presented.


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## Just Cooking (Jun 15, 2017)

Bigjim68 said:


> Not always.  In quite a few restaurants I frequent the* itemized bill comes first and the credit card bill is not itemized*.  I want to review the bill before the final bill is presented.




Exactly... Standard at most of the restaurants I go to..

Ross


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## RPCookin (Jun 15, 2017)

Steve Kroll said:


> Okay, maybe this is just me.
> 
> While most of these seem completely justified and common sense, others sound like nitpicky server complaints. The one thing on that list that rubs me the wrong way is the if-you're-finished-with-your-meal-GET-OUT point.
> 
> I'm sorry, but I go out to dinner, not only to eat, but also to socialize with friends. It should be relaxing and enjoyable, and I really dislike feeling like I'm being pushed out the door when dinner is done. Now granted, if a place is super busy and I see a sea of people waiting for a table, I'll try to vacate and suggest we go somewhere else for an after dinner activity (drinks, dessert, conversation).



The issue with this is that in most restaurants, the servers real income is from tips.  The longer you occupy a table without ordering anything more, the lower their hourly rate of earning.  In most places, a server is lucky if their base pay is even minimum wage.  If you must sit around after you finish, make sure that you tip commensurately.  The type of restaurant where you are expected to take 2-3 hours to eat compensates by charging more per meal and/or by paying their staff a higher base rate to make up for the smaller volume.

It's one thing to do this off from normal meal times, but doing it during the lunch or dinner rush, even if the restaurant isn't jammed, is a disservice to the staff.


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## Sir_Loin_of_Beef (Jun 15, 2017)

This waitperson is a whiner, to the nth degree. S/he should consider another line of work, one that doesn't involve interaction with other human beings. White tiger trainer in Las Vegas immediately comes to mind!


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## RPCookin (Jun 15, 2017)

Those points of contention are from a survey of many workers, not just one.  They are just the points that the blogger chose to cherry pick to make his/her point.  Some are legitimate, some are a bit extreme.


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## Addie (Jun 15, 2017)

CraigC said:


> How about a disappearing/non-attentive server. You know the ones you have to flag down because they rarely come to the table to check how things are going or never after service until they bring the check. There are those that *you have to flag down even to get the check.*



Oh yeah! I don't eat out often, but when I do, just get the check to us as soon as you see we are through. My daughter and I go out to eat and make sure we have plenty of time. We usually have someplace else to go after we eat. Sometimes the customer's time is as valuable as the server's.


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## Addie (Jun 15, 2017)

When I worked in the Downtown area of Boston, I used to get so irritated with customers who are out for a lark and are not part of the working world. There would be eight to ten of them in shorts or jeans with flip flops so you know they are not going back to the office. The wait staff has to push two or more tables together, and of course each one gets their own check. 

There was a restaurant downstairs in the ten story building where I worked. At least once a week, this one group would show up right in the middle of the lunch hour. After about three weeks of these customers, management finally told them to please fine another place to dine or come after two a.m. Yeah, 2 a.m. They got the message. Each day they had a quick lunch special. The joke became, "I'll have the 2 a.m. special."


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## larry_stewart (Jul 4, 2017)

Out at a restaurant the other night when this thread hit me , as I was stacking plates at the end of dinner.

After stacking the plates ( nicely I might add) and wiping the crumbs into a nice little pile near the edge of the table ( closest to wear the waitress would be), I found myself wondering why a waiter/ waitress would be bothered by this.

Im sure it's for the people who just randomly and chaotically stack their plates.

Anyway, as I was taking a pic, my wife was like " what the hell are you taking a pic of stacked plates and crumbs"? , Which led to a discussion between her and I about this thread.

I think every job has it's list of annoying things that the customers do just to make their job that much more difficult, but I can't imagine my neatly stacked plates being one of them.


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## PrincessFiona60 (Jul 4, 2017)

Shrek is the table busser when we eat out.  As Larry shows above, how could any wait staff object to this practice?


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## Merlot (Jul 4, 2017)

I'm a plate stacker, I was trained to get them out of the way when I saw a waitress reach over my fathers plate of food to grab another dish.  I'm sure it took everything in him to keep him from flying off the handle.


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## CakePoet (Jul 4, 2017)

I dont tip,  that would be rude here, nor do I need to end my meal quickly, if I just add a cup of coffee at the end  , I have 30 minutes more before I should move.

Tips are not part of the waiters salary here, if they get one the whole  staff should share it.  So here you only tip if the person does an amazing job and the food is outstanding, but even then it might be seen as rude because you are then implying  that the  employer isnt follow  the rules and regulation.


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## Addie (Jul 4, 2017)

larry_stewart said:


> Out at a restaurant the other night when this thread hit me , as I was stacking plates at the end of dinner.
> 
> After stacking the plates ( nicely I might add) and wiping the crumbs into a nice little pile near the edge of the table ( closest to wear the waitress would be), I found myself wondering why a waiter/ waitress would be bothered by this.
> 
> ...



If we all read the list that the waitress had for us, she objected to dishes being stacked with food still on them, and the silver still on each individual plate. You did it the way she stated she felt was helpful for her. And that small pile of crumbs was a help to her also. She still has to wipe the whole table with a damp cloth. But at least, she can wipe the crumbs onto the top dish. 

If you use common sense on how you would like your table at home cleared, and follow that, then you can't go wrong. Do you clear the table at home while someone is still eating, pile the plates with food still on them? Rush the late slow eater? Snatch the plate right from under their nose while there is still food on the plate? I don't know about the rest of  you, but I always waited until the last person had finished eating and left the table. Good manners are just for those who are eating, but the person who has to clean up after. 

My kids had to take turns each night for clean up. If they had something planned or a friend waiting outside, too bad. Clear the table first. AFTER everyone was finished eating.


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## Andy M. (Jul 4, 2017)

If you stack plates with food bits still on them, you have to rinse off BOTH SIDES of the plate before putting it into the DW.


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## Sir_Loin_of_Beef (Jul 4, 2017)

If you use the right detergent, you don't need to rinse the plates


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## Addie (Jul 4, 2017)

Sir_Loin_of_Beef said:


> If you use the right detergent, you don't need to rinse the plates



Really? I tried that method just once. I ended up with a clogged drain with food bits and a flooded dishwasher all over the floor. I scrape the dishes first. That's the down side. The up side? I got the floor washed and nice and clean.


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## Addie (Jul 4, 2017)

Andy M. said:


> If you stack plates with food bits still on them, you have to rinse off BOTH SIDES of the plate before putting it into the DW.



Excellent point Andy!


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## RPCookin (Jul 4, 2017)

Addie said:


> Really? I tried that method just once. I ended up with a clogged drain with food bits and a flooded dishwasher all over the floor. I scrape the dishes first. That's the down side. The up side? I got the floor washed and nice and clean.



Somehow, I don't think that commercial dishwashers would have that problem.  Ours have always had a soft food disposal built into the drain, so a little bit of stuff on the top or bottom of the plate isn't an issue.  You can't treat it as if it was an actual garbage disposal, but it just means that you don't have to spend an inordinate amount of time rinsing and scraping.


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## CarolPa (Jul 4, 2017)

I have found plates with food stuck to the bottom at the local casino buffet, and I know for a fact that they have a commercial dish washer.  

I am innocent of all wrong doing, but DH is a plate stacker, and he also jokes with the staff, while I'm kicking him under the table.  LOL


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## Addie (Jul 4, 2017)

RPCookin said:


> Somehow, I don't think that commercial dishwashers would have that problem.  Ours have always had a soft food disposal built into the drain, so a little bit of stuff on the top or bottom of the plate isn't an issue.  You can't treat it as if it was an actual garbage disposal, but it just means that you don't have to spend an inordinate amount of time rinsing and scraping.



Well, mine was with my dishwasher at home.


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## GotGarlic (Jul 4, 2017)

Addie said:


> Well, mine was with my dishwasher at home.


Well, this thread is about restaurant server gripes.


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## jennyema (Jul 4, 2017)

People stack plates _at a restaurant?_


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## Steve Kroll (Jul 5, 2017)

RPCookin said:


> The issue with this is that in most restaurants, the servers real income is from tips.  The longer you occupy a table without ordering anything more, the lower their hourly rate of earning.  In most places, a server is lucky if their base pay is even minimum wage.  If you must sit around after you finish, make sure that you tip commensurately.  The type of restaurant where you are expected to take 2-3 hours to eat compensates by charging more per meal and/or by paying their staff a higher base rate to make up for the smaller volume.
> 
> It's one thing to do this off from normal meal times, but doing it during the lunch or dinner rush, even if the restaurant isn't jammed, is a disservice to the staff.


Thanks for the lecture, but I eat out a lot, and am fully aware of how the tipping system works. 

I'm not talking about Denny's or IHOP kind of places, where workers make peanuts. I'm referring to first class restaurants where I'm paying a good chunk of change for a nice evening out, complete with a generous tip for the wait staff. Some of these folks are making well over $100/hour in tips alone. And for that kind of money, I don't want to hear anyone whining about not clearing out fast enough.

If my party is sitting there nursing water or coffee for hours on end, that might be cause for complaint. But sometimes we simply like to enjoy the last of the bottle of wine we paid for and have a bit of relaxing conversation without a waiter walking by every couple of minutes sighing and rolling their eyes. Plus, as I stated above, if there is a line out the door of people waiting to be seated, we generally try to head out so someone else can have the table.


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## Steve Kroll (Jul 5, 2017)

Sir_Loin_of_Beef said:


> If you use the right detergent, you don't need to rinse the plates



Commercial dishwashers work a little differently. They're designed to clean fast and sanitize. They wash dishes in minutes, rather than an hour or more, like home units do. It might be different these days, but when I worked in a restaurant, you pre-scrubbed the plates before they went into the machine. They had to be somewhat clean going in, or food was baked on when they came out.


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## CakePoet (Jul 5, 2017)

The machine I worked with from March to end of May, no need for scrubbing, the high pressure  hose did that, you just rinsed the plates and put in to the machine.


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## bakechef (Jul 6, 2017)

Andy M. said:


> If you stack plates with food bits still on them, you have to rinse off BOTH SIDES of the plate before putting it into the DW.



I scrape but never rinse.  Stuff can sit for a couple days and still comes out of the dishwasher sparkling clean.  I imagine commercial dishwashers would give a similar result.


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## bakechef (Jul 6, 2017)

PrincessFiona60 said:


> Shrek is the table busser when we eat out.  As Larry shows above, how could any wait staff object to this practice?



Rob stacks and tidies up and sometimes I find myself wiping up spots.  We make a great team of weirdos.

He also likes to collect everyone's menu after they've ordered to "help" the waitress out.


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## FrankZ (Jul 7, 2017)

I wonder how the person who wrote this would feel if we reverse this... things to not do when you are waiting on me:

Don't pre-bus the table.  That's right, I like sitting and having dessert or coffee with dirty dishes spread around the table.  And if you don't pre-bus I will stack them to get them out of my way so I can enjoy the meal I am paying for.


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## Addie (Jul 8, 2017)

Good idea. 
Keep an eye on my table so you can see when *all* of us are through. But don't hover over us at the same time. Don't make us sit there waiting for our check. Waiting, waiting, etc. Did it ever occur to you we might have plans for the rest of the evening? We would like to be on our way.


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## Cooking Goddess (Jul 8, 2017)

It's surprising how quickly a server can deliver that bill to the table when everyone stands up and starts putting on coats/jackets!


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## taxlady (Jul 8, 2017)

FrankZ said:


> I wonder how the person who wrote this would feel if we reverse this... things to not do when you are waiting on me:
> 
> Don't pre-bus the table.  That's right, I like sitting and having dessert or coffee with dirty dishes spread around the table.  And if you don't pre-bus I will stack them to get them out of my way so I can enjoy the meal I am paying for.


What does "pre-bus" mean?


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## Addie (Jul 8, 2017)

taxlady said:


> What does "pre-bus" mean?



It means they clear the table of all dirty dishes and barely leave your dessert and the utensil you are eating with and coffee cup or drink vessel. And they don't bother to refill your coffee cup. I guess you are supposed to eat your dessert without anything to wash it down. Some will even take away the water glass.


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## Addie (Jul 8, 2017)

Cooking Goddess said:


> It's surprising how quickly a server can deliver that bill to the table when everyone stands up and starts putting on coats/jackets!



One evening I was out with my sister and we couldn't get the waitress to bring our bill. We stood up and put our coat on. Still no response. I had to assume it was the manager, but he went over to her to tell her we were leaving. "I am on my break. They can just wait." He came over with the bill and apologized. We left no tip. I hope she enjoyed her break. We had the feeling that her break was going to be longer than she expected the next day.


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## taxlady (Jul 8, 2017)

Addie said:


> It means they clear the table of all dirty dishes and barely leave your dessert and the utensil you are eating with and coffee cup or drink vessel. And they don't bother to refill your coffee cup. I guess you are supposed to eat your dessert without anything to wash it down. Some will even take away the water glass.


Then I really don't understand Frank's post.


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## FrankZ (Jul 8, 2017)

Pre-bussing a table is when you remove the dirty dishes from the table.  

I will start stacking you can't be bothered to remove dishes that I am done with.

Wait staff that goes to or comes from the kitchen empty handed annoy me.


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## GotGarlic (Jul 8, 2017)

taxlady said:


> Then I really don't understand Frank's post.


That's not what it means. Pre-busing means removing the dirty plates (although I don't call it that) before bringing dessert. Frank was being sarcastic.


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## taxlady (Jul 8, 2017)

FrankZ said:


> Pre-bussing a table is when you remove the dirty dishes from the table.
> 
> I will start stacking you can't be bothered to remove dishes that I am done with.
> 
> Wait staff that goes to or comes from the kitchen empty handed annoy me.





GotGarlic said:


> That's not what it means. Pre-busing means removing the dirty plates (although I don't call it that) before bringing dessert. *Frank was being sarcastic.*


D'oh!

Yeah, almost any time that I, as a customer, stack the dishes, I am being sarcastic.


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## GotGarlic (Jul 8, 2017)

FrankZ said:


> Pre-bussing a table is when you remove the dirty dishes from the table.
> 
> I will start stacking you can't be bothered to remove dishes that I am done with.
> 
> *Wait staff that goes to or comes from the kitchen empty handed annoy me*.



Me too! That's one of the primary things I learned when I was a waitress in college. DH worked in restaurants in high school, so we both get annoyed and remark on that to each other, especially when we've been waiting a while for our food, or for the table to be cleared.


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## CarolPa (Jul 11, 2017)

We have had the server leave the check while we were still eating and say "I'm going to leave this, but will be back to check on you."  And they were.  That way, if we wanted to leave when finished, we didn't have to wait for the check.  We hate to sit there waiting.


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## CarolPa (Jul 11, 2017)

FrankZ said:


> Wait staff that goes to or comes from the kitchen empty handed annoy me.




What if they are going into the kitchen to see if your food is ready?  Or coming out to see if you need anything else?


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## GotGarlic (Jul 11, 2017)

CarolPa said:


> What if they are going into the kitchen to see if your food is ready?  Or coming out to see if you need anything else?


They should be picking up dirty dishes from wherever they see them, or offering more water or coffee as they go around checking on customers and food.


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## Merlot (Jul 11, 2017)

One thing is for sure, you can't please everyone!  Our preference is a pleasant server, we can be quite a bit of a Chatty Cathy/ chuck which apparently isn't always liked but we have met a lot of nice people on our travels.  We also want our drinks, whatever they may be refilled and the check without waiting a long time!


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## larry_stewart (Jul 12, 2017)

One thing that annoys me, is when the restaurant is not busy at all, and the waiter/ waitress disappears on you.  If its prime time, craziness, its one thing, but when you go at an off time, and they don't check on you as you sit there patiently waiting for water glass to be filled, the check, or whatever.  That annoys me the most.


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## CarolPa (Sep 27, 2017)

Are we still having this discussion?  I've been away for a while.  

My pet peeve is when they wait until I'm finished eating and ready to leave to ask me if I'd like a refill on my drink.


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