# Alcoholic?



## -DEADLY SUSHI- (May 18, 2007)

Anyone here an alcoholic? A few folks here know that I drink a lot on occasion. Soooooooo... I diagnosed myself as an alcoholic. 
It really bugs me.  Sober, Im a well thinking guy with a good heart. But after half a 5th of hard liquer I turn into a jerk that blabs and makes poor decisions.  I went to AA last week and talked to a few guys that are in the same boat. They are about 20-22 years old. I told them 2/3 of the stuff that I did or what happened to me that involved alcohol and scared them stiff. It felt good to tell folks what this devil sauce does. I just wish I knew what it feels like to be able to have a few beers and just stop. Because I just want to keep drinking.


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## StirBlue (May 18, 2007)

Sometimes it is just mental quirks that have never been diagnosed.  A psychiatrist (whose name I do not recall) said that we all have triggers.  And he wasn't just talking about addictions.  He was talking about human behavior.  For example he describes a person who normally drives the speed limit and for no apparent reason from time to time that same person drives 100 mph.  They have theorized instantaneous amnesia.  The question evolves around the characteristics that are influenced during these austere time frames.  They have eliminated schizophrenia which dominates the state of mental health and is not lucrative for occasional or temporary chaos.  
The study deals with the creative factor of processing information as in dealing with probability and possibility.


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## Barbara L (May 19, 2007)

Check your PMs Sush.

 Barbara


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## Angie (May 19, 2007)

I am an addict to prescription pills and am in an intense outpatient treatment program for it right now.  In a few hours I'll be going to my first AA meeting (a requirement for the treatment program).

I've lost a few jobs due to my addiction and wrecked my car on March 31st.  I'm lucky to be alive.

Last night I called someone in my group therapy to make sure we were still set for this mornings AA meeting and he admitted to me that he HAS NOT been sober during treatment, that he has been drinking and he is scared...very scared.

PM me if you want to talk....


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## Barbara L (May 19, 2007)

Good luck with your meeting Angie.  I'll be praying for you (hope you don't mind) that everything goes well.  

 Barbara


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## Angie (May 19, 2007)

Thank you!


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## Run_Out (May 19, 2007)

Sushi

I guess I am lucky, I enjoy a few beers almost everyday. Nothing more than that, it used to be a problem with my mother-in-law as she was a person raised to believe drinking was the devils work. It never caused any problems at work or at home... I still say a couple of beers are better for you than a cople of cokes.

Best  wishes
later


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## Mylegsbig (May 19, 2007)

im a third generation alcoholic, my mom is an alcoholic, my father died of alcoholism when he was 38, and both of my grandparents on one side were alcoholics.

i've been hospitalized for drinking a couple times with liver failure and acute pancreatitis, not fun stuff..it's no joke.


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## StirBlue (May 19, 2007)

An Anonymous Prayer for you:

There’s someone in the mirror looking at you. Someone is saying goodbye. Someone that you could love if you wanted to. Someone that no one else loves. Someone that you can have and to hold all the days of your life. 


Someone in the mirror is looking at you. Someone is saying goodbye. Someone who doesn’t have much. Someone who needs to be loved and cared about. Someone who needs a friend to hold hands with everyday. 


Someone in the mirror is looking at you. Someone is saying goodbye. Someone who is alone and afraid. Someone who has travel a long road. Someone who needs to be invited to share a smile. Someone who needs a place to call home. 


Someone in the mirror is looking at you. Someone is saying goodbye. Someone who is hopeless and helpless. Someone who isn’t going to finish the race. Someone who needs a tug and a shoulder to lean on. Someone who walks a mile. 


Someone in the mirror is looking at you. Someone is saying goodbye. Someone needs your love. Someone has tears in their eyes. Someone needs to share your day. Someone who has never done wrong has no place to turn.


Someone in the mirror is looking at you. Someone is saying goodbye. Someone is kind and thoughtful. Someone is someplace no body is looking. Someone in the mirror is looking at you.


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## goodgiver (May 19, 2007)

Oh my what can I say. Both Hubby and me are RECOVERING ALCOHOLICS of 30 years. Yea you read right Hubby is 75 and I am 69. So I think I can speak with some authority.  The only way you will ever be able to stop drinking is if you want to. And as far as being a social drinker once you have declared yourself a alcoholic you can't socially drink. In our cases you are either a drinker or a non drinker. For us there is no in between. Its either black or white and there is no gray area. I don't mean to discourage you but life is so much better now that we do not need alcohol or for that matter smoking either. To bad all this couldn't happen before but then that was yesterday and today's today.   Good luck we will be praying for you. You do know that praying does help?


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## Corey123 (May 19, 2007)

Sushi, 

Get some professional help immediately, please. I beg of you!!

Alcoholism is a very serious addition, and it ranks right up there with drug addiction, heavy smoking and compulsive gambling.

It hurts yourself as well as your friends and family. Consider going to a detox facility for a drying out.


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## Constance (May 19, 2007)

Run_Out said:
			
		

> Sushi
> 
> I guess I am lucky, I enjoy a few beers almost everyday. Nothing more than that, it used to be a problem with my mother-in-law as she was a person raised to believe drinking was the devils work. It never caused any problems at work or at home... I still say a couple of beers are better for you than a cople of cokes.
> 
> ...



Same here, Run_Out. I agree with you completely. 

I've watched myself though, as I had a grandfather who was an alcoholic, and a mother and daughter who got hooked on Valium. 

By the way, I had a mother-in-law like that too.


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## shpj4 (May 20, 2007)

When I was a young girl I asked my mother when will I enjoy the taste of liquor - her answer was when you get older.

I am 64 years old and I still can't stand the taste.  

For all of you with addiction problems there is a lot of help out there.  Go to meetings and talk with others - you will be surprised how much it helps.


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## Dove (May 20, 2007)

*I was never a smoker and maybe I will have a Margarita on my birthday but that hasn't happened in several years. I think with all I'm going through right now..that's a good thing.*


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## BBQ Mikey (May 21, 2007)

Ive been dry for 2 months now.  I'm trying not to drink at all until my next birthday in October.  I probably wont make it, but I want to give it my all, I used to drink every day, but it led me down a bad path.  I wish you all the best.


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## AllenOK (May 21, 2007)

My grandfather was an alcoholic, and it killed him.  My father refused to touch the stuff.  Sadly, he passed from colon cancer in his 30's.  My grandmother would always, and still does, get on a soapbox and preach about the evils of alcohol.

When I was younger, and in college, yes, I did dabble in the Dark Arts.  However, the Specter of my family history shadows my activities.  I went on a bender twice.  Once for a birthday, once for a party in my honor as I left one job for another.

One of my instructor chef's in college would always preach about "Everything in Moderation".  About the time I left college, I changed my drinking.  Nowadays, I just don't drink that much.  If I do, it's just one beer.  I don't buy beer that often, maybe once a month, if that.  I do have hard liquor, but I only cook with it.

I still practice moderation.  However, some folks just can't do that.  For those that can't moderate how much they drink, I think abstination is the only answer.


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## chefchewy (May 21, 2007)

*alot of people are*

Alot of people in this industry either abuse alcohol, drugs or both and the ones who don't abuse food. My experience is in there somewhere...... Don't feel like you are alone though as we all are addicted to something. But if you feel you have to have that drink to perform well or cope with the job and people around you, then you definately need to get help. Stay with the AA meetings.


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## -DEADLY SUSHI- (May 28, 2007)

Thanks for the responses.  Its not to fun nor easy being this way. Yesterday i woke up at 3pm. I went out and did a few errands. Then I got a case of 30 beers for $11 plus a pack of Marlboro Lights. Total of about $16. 
Been drinking from 10pm till now. Not heavy. A few beers an hour. 
Its bad for SO many reasons. But Im borred. I get borred somewhat quick. I have very little money so I cant go out and shop. I just stay here in my apartment drinking. Every woman I ask out is taken or not attracted to me. 
My last job gave me constant heart palpitations. They are gone now. So I feel healthy enough to look for a new job. (I was fired in January)
Bills are pilling up. I am almost broke and almost out of unemployment pay. 
Anyhew, its 9am and Im still drinking my beer. Im lonely. No one is here to hug me or to talk to. Hence the beer. BUUUUUT I have my 2 cats. I suppose. No parents. No siblings. Just music and movies. The pool at my apartment is now open but Im 20 pounds over weight. Not looking to s3xy. 
But its my fault. Im alright though!  Im always alright.


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## GB (May 28, 2007)

I have absolutely no sympathy for someone who comes on here and declares they are an alcoholic and says they want to stop drinking, but then says they just bought a 30 pack because they are bored. 

If you are so bored then why not go out and look for a job instead of sitting around drinking and posting on forums trying to drum up sympathy? If you are so bored then why don't you go get help for your drinking problem that you claim you want help for.

From where I sit, you seem to me like you have no desire to get help. You are just looking for attention and for people to come and say "Oh look at poor sushi. Everything will be OK. You are a great guy and we love you Blah Blah Blah". Sorry to put it so bluntly, but these are my views and I am not going to sugar coat them. If you REALLY wanted help then you could get it, but you obviously are just looking for attention.


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## Robo410 (May 28, 2007)

I was an absolute chain smoker...first thing in the morning waiting for the coffee, between every class, between courses in a meal, waking up in the middle of the night to keep the nicotine level in my system high and even. And we aren't talking lights...non filters for me please!  I quit with help and have stayed quit.  Alcohol, I can easily do a beer with a meal or a glass of wine...and for special occasions a fine wiskey on the rocks.  But I can't stand being dizzy, and a second drink or third beer or wine will put me way over my comfort level and I've learned to just not go there.  

We all have issues...some may be more legal at the moment than others or have less immediate health risks, but all are real.  The good news is there is HELP out there for us.  Ask for it, and work at it...(yep it does take work and determination.)  Go for it my friend.


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## Corey123 (May 28, 2007)

-DEADLY SUSHI- said:
			
		

> Thanks for the responses.  Its not to fun nor easy being this way. Yesterday i woke up at 3pm. I went out and did a few errands. Then I got a case of 30 beers for $11 plus a pack of Marlboro Lights. Total of about $16.
> Been drinking from 10pm till now. Not heavy. A few beers an hour.
> Its bad for SO many reasons. But Im borred. I get borred somewhat quick. I have very little money so I cant go out and shop. I just stay here in my apartment drinking. Every woman I ask out is taken or not attracted to me.
> My last job gave me constant heart palpitations. They are gone now. So I feel healthy enough to look for a new job. (I was fired in January)
> ...


 


The loss of your job. That wouldn't have anything to do with your problems with alcoholism now, would it? Only YOU can change it though, if you really want to.

And how did your last job cause your heart to go into palpitations? And if so, if your heart DOES go into palpitations, you need to get to either your doctor, or the emergency room immediately. That's a pure sign and the beginning of what may be congestive heart failure (CHF)!!!

I was diaganosed with it late last fall and was in the hospital TWICE because of it. You can be in danger and start suffering from SOB (shortness of breath) which is a really scary thing. Your lungs get filled with fluid and you're gasping for air as if you are literally drowning!!

And like GB said, you desperatly need to start trying to take responsibility for your own actions. Stop sitting on your butt looking for sympathy because there is none to be had. Don't be tricked into thinking that you can quit drinking on your own, because you'll lose.

I've a friend whom I hadn't seen for a while, and when I DID see him, he looked ten times worst than he did before. And he went right back to drinking, is homeless again and is looking for sympathy as well! I told him to not even think about asking me for help, because I tried to help him before and it all was for nothing! 

I'm not helping alcoholics get right ever again because as the old saying goes, you can't change a leapard's spots. Please, go get help. Do what you must, but don't expect any sympathy from me. Help others by helping yourself.

I'm sorry also, for sounding so stern, but you need a wake-up call to make you change your ways.


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## Katie H (May 28, 2007)

Sushi, I endorse what GB and Corey have said.

You've gained the extra weight because you've been consuming empty calories.  Get busy and start taking accountability for your actions.  Sorry, this response isn't pretty, but your situation isn't pretty either.

Now, go take a shower, put on some clean clothes and get some help.


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## shannon in KS (May 28, 2007)

Corey123 said:
			
		

> Only YOU can change it though, if you really want to.
> 
> And like GB said, you desperatly need to start trying to take responsibility for your own actions. Stop sitting on your butt looking for sympathy because there is none to be had. Don't be tricked into thinking that you can quit drinking on your own, because you'll lose.
> 
> ...


 
It is hard to be stern, but you have to be. Alcoholism sometimes is an uncontrollable urge, and one drink can cause all discipline and self-control to go out the window. I ended a relationship in March because of alcoholism (as a few of you may remember), and it was the hardest decision to literally throw him out when he thought he needed me most- when he really needed to find his own strength to overcome. I had to separate my deep love for him, and harden my heart so much to muster the strength to do what was best for the both of us, and mainly him. It was agonizing, but he needed to straighten his life out. I felt like I was kicking him when he was down, abandoning him, but I had no choice- the nice method was NOT solving the problem. I felt like I was going against God, forsaking the "for better or worse" vows we hoped to take this year, but you don't bring the "worse" on those you love the most. Alcohol abuse is usually a psychological disease, and drinking is the reaction to negative emotions. He drank when he was bored too, so had to learn other ways to keep busy. I thought if I asked him to leave, he would spiral even more out of control, and he did for a while, dealing with the loss with the same self-destructive behavior that caused it all. The pain he went through losing me was the excruciating wake-up call he needed. I told him to take note of it, because it WOULD happen again if he ever resorted back to alcohol. He understands now why I told him HE had to find the answers. Only HE could help HIMSELF. No one can save you, but yourself. 

We are doing fine now, taking each step day by day. Reading Sushi's self-loathing words is like reliving the hard times we have been through, just as other people in this post have related and shared their heartaches alcohol has brought into their lives. Sometimes people get so down, they can't help themselves. Their emotions are so raw, they are beside themselves, literally out of their mind with loss, reaching out for anyone that will save them with the magical answer that solves it all. I truly see it as a cry for help. Sushi, I see the blunt responses, and you need to take them to heart. I don't feel anyone is trying to offend you. They are pointing out your self-destructive behavior, saying "#$%^ wake up!!! Don't you see for yourself what you are doing to yourself?!?" And we care about you, and sometimes when people care about you, you need to hear words that rip through to your core. You seem to have realized you have a problem, now you need to make a game plan to deal with it.

As I repeat over and over, YOU ARE SOBER BEFORE YOU TAKE THAT FIRST DRINK OUT OF THE BOTTLE.  Make that change, make that choice, and choose to make your decisions right then and there, before you impair your judgement and all the bad things that follow thereafter.  Next time you get plowed, take your picture, and compare it to what you used to be.  You won't like what you see.


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## -DEADLY SUSHI- (May 28, 2007)

> I have absolutely no sympathy for someone who comes on here and declares they are an alcoholic and says they want to stop drinking, but then says they just bought a 30 pack because they are bored.
> 
> If you are so bored then why not go out and look for a job instead of sitting around drinking and posting on forums trying to drum up sympathy? If you are so bored then why don't you go get help for your drinking problem that you claim you want help for.
> 
> From where I sit, you seem to me like you have no desire to get help. You are just looking for attention and for people to come and say "Oh look at poor sushi. Everything will be OK. You are a great guy and we love you Blah Blah Blah". Sorry to put it so bluntly, but these are my views and I am not going to sugar coat them. If you REALLY wanted help then you could get it, but you obviously are just looking for attention.



I dont want sympathy. Im posting this so people know about my addiction. And maybe someone can relate. If YOU had an addiction you would probably understand. Its NOT easy to tell everyone about this. I thought even YOU might respect that. How could you think I want people to pat me on the head and say its going to be ok?! Im 36 not 12. 
Im very very disapointed in your lack of trying to relate. I have been getting help but on holidays things get more difficult. 
You and anyone else can blab like you just did. Its easy to say anything when you are not in the same position. I hope you never have to deal with any of this.


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## Katie H (May 28, 2007)

Yes, Sushi, many of us can "relate."  I grew up with a mother who was an alcoholic and addicted to drugs, so I have some idea of the mindset of someone in your position.

There's no lack of _relating._  We just know that you have to pick yourself up and get a grip.

Saying the holiday is causing you some distress is understandable, but not an excuse for lapsing into "I'm feeling sorry for myself" mode.

Too bad you define concern for "blabbering."  If you would just sit up and look through your fog for a minute, you would see it as concern and support, which it is.

If you say you are getting help, then you should be able to speak to someone during this holiday to help you cope.


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## GB (May 28, 2007)

Sorry sushi, but I am not buying it. Don't come here bellyaching about being bored so you are going to drink and then saying how you are out of work. If you really wanted help then you would quit your wining and go out and do something about it. Why don't you check yourself into a program if you are that bored and really want help? Why are you not working on your resume if you are that bored and need a job? Why are you not out applying for jobs if you are that bored and need a job? No, instead you come here and post your whoa is me story. 

I really hope you get the help you need, but it seems like you still have a way to go before you hit bottom and hopefully wise up and look at your actions.


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## Angie (May 28, 2007)

I know where you are coming from...I'm an addict as well.  I also had a reaction like this on another board I frequent.

I know you are already beating your self up because of your disease.  And yes, everyone IS right, only YOU can change this..BUT it's not easy.

You have taken a big step in the right direction.  You have admitted it to yourself and to others.

I have an AA book that I got when I attended my first meeting.  I'm required to attend 4 meetings for my treatment.  

Have you asked any friends or family for help?  If not, try to confide in someone.  Ask them to go WITH YOU to an AA meeting.  It's much easier to go with someone than to go alone.

You can do this!  I've been clean for almost 2 months now but I still crave the high each and every day.  It has gotten easier, though.

I had a real test today.  I was spending time with a friend at her house this afternoon and she has a full prescription of Xanax, one of my drugs of choice.  I was an anxious mess.  I couldn't stop shaking and my heart was pounding.  I was self inducing an anxiety attack so I could get the pills.  Thankfully my friend will NOT give in and give me the pills.  

I'lll help you through this.  We can help each other.


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## -DEADLY SUSHI- (May 29, 2007)

> I'lll help you through this.  We can help each other.



Its a deal Angie. 



> Why don't you check yourself into a program if you are that bored and really want help? Why are you not working on your resume if you are that bored and need a job? Why are you not out applying for jobs if you are that bored and need a job? No, instead you come here and post your whoa is me story.



Resume is fine. I have an interview on Wed and Friday. And by the way, people post things in here because they feel like other people care about them. Your statement truley shows how insensitive of a boy you really are. Something is really really wrong with you.


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## Dove (May 29, 2007)

*Sushie, re-read this when you are sober..you will see people do care and are asking you to help yourself.You have to want to stop drinking.You can't just talk about it.
Dove*


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## Green Lady (May 29, 2007)

Many churches offer a program called Celebrate Recovery.  It is for alcoholics and anyone with addictions of any kind ie., drugs, food, porn, etc. It would be good if you found a group like this to go to, in addition to AA.  It would be an extra source of support and human interaction.


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## GB (May 29, 2007)

The only person you are fooling is yourself sushi. Please see what Dove said on post #29.


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## Barb L. (May 29, 2007)

Sushi, you know we will always be here to support you, but you do have to support yourself first.  Take one day at a time, set goals for yourself, love yourself you are worth it.  You are young and have a whole life ahead of you.  Life is good !  It is in your hands and you have the power to overcome.  Realize you will never be a social drinker, so what !!  No biggy - enjoy and appreciate the simply things in life.  Then you will be at peace with yourself, knowing you are in control, not a substance !!  Take Care, !      Barb L.


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## Corey123 (May 29, 2007)

GB said:
			
		

> Sorry sushi, but I am not buying it. Don't come here bellyaching about being bored so you are going to drink and then saying how you are out of work. If you really wanted help then you would quit your wining and go out and do something about it. Why don't you check yourself into a program if you are that bored and really want help? Why are you not working on your resume if you are that bored and need a job? Why are you not out applying for jobs if you are that bored and need a job? No, instead you come here and post your whoa is me story.
> 
> I really hope you get the help you need, but it seems like you still have a way to go before you hit bottom and hopefully wise up and look at your actions.


 


Yes and please don't use the old expression; "Oh. I'll stop drinking next week or next month or on New Year's;" as other alcoholics, drug addicts and chronically ill heavy smokers do. That day will never come.

If you got the time and patience to come here and unload and share your chronic problems with alcohol, then you got the time to just get up and start trying to do something about your problems.

The only way for us to try to get you motivated and going is to show you some tough love. I'm sure that you've heard of that before.


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## carolelaine (May 29, 2007)

Sushi- You can stop drinking all of the beer and when you do the weight will come off.  I have been there too and it is possible to get up, get out and get on with it.  I think you have a problem with depression which the drink is making worse.  It's easy to be depressed when you feel isolated by lack of family, friends, and work.  See a doctor you may need an anti depressant and then start going out.  No one at your pool is going to pay as much attention to your weight as you think they will.  Swim some which will help you get back in shape and feel so much better about yourself.  I wish you health and happiness in the future.


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## Corey123 (May 29, 2007)

One of my brothers was an alcoholic. It was so sad! We watched him drink himself to an early grave!

I didn't realise how serious his illness was, until his 2nd wife told me. I used to buy beer and liquor for us both whenever we got together, not even realizing that I was enabling him! He was my very closest brother and we were alway there for each other.

We always had so much fun together an made each other laugh. I would often go to Columbia, SC where he and his 2nd wife lived. Not knowing how dangerously wrong I was about buying him beer and booze, I just wanted him to be happy, which he always was. The liquor store was the first place that we went to to stock up.

He was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. But he didn't like pricking himself to check his glucose level, drank even more and ate unhealthy foods. He had a stroke, was taken to the hospital for treatment, but he died several days later after having gone into full cardiac arrest!

His wife wanted to try to donate his liver since he was an organ doner and she had a friend who needed a liver transplant, but the liver was no good. I believe my brother had the start of clerosis of the liver. 

He was only 43. It was so sad and heartbreaking!! It was too late to try to get him to change his ways. I'll NEVER find another brother like him!!


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## -DEADLY SUSHI- (May 31, 2007)

Thank you everyone for your support and help. My whole AA class viewed this thread. MANY MANY comments. The biggest is for everyone to realize that this is a disease. Tough Love dosent usually work. 
But everyone was VERY happy to see some others that support me. People that have a similar affliction tend to be the people that understand the most.  Its difficult for 'outsiders' to grasp how this grabs people. 
I want to appologize to GB for rude comments I have made. Im still ticked but it wasnt logical to type them down for all to see. So, GB Im sorry. BUT.... please understand what we are going through. Every DAY is a fight. 

Anyhow, this is just another FUN entry on what is means and how it is to be an alcoholic. If folks can relate please call AA. There is someone there 24/7.


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## Corey123 (May 31, 2007)

I wish you good luck on trying to get the professinal help that you so desperately need!

There are of course, three things;

1. Admitting that you've got a drinking problem.

2. Trying to get the help needed.

3. Sticking with the plan and getting off alcohol once and for all.

And you cannot ever go back to drinking alcohol again. Because you'll be right back there again.

To make sure that you don't slip back into it, there IS a drug that's called anabuse. What this drug does is, once you start taking it, it makes you very sick to the point of vomitting if you take a drink of beer or booze. You might want to look into it. 

It COULD make the difference between staying alcohol-free and living a long healthy life.


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## GB (May 31, 2007)

-DEADLY SUSHI- said:
			
		

> Thank you everyone for your support and help. My whole AA class viewed this thread. MANY MANY comments. The biggest is for everyone to realize that this is a disease. Tough Love dosent usually work.
> But everyone was VERY happy to see some others that support me. People that have a similar affliction tend to be the people that understand the most.  Its difficult for 'outsiders' to grasp how this grabs people.
> I want to appologize to GB for rude comments I have made. Im still ticked but it wasnt logical to type them down for all to see. So, GB Im sorry. BUT.... please understand what we are going through. Every DAY is a fight.
> 
> Anyhow, this is just another FUN entry on what is means and how it is to be an alcoholic. If folks can relate please call AA. There is someone there 24/7.


Do not assume I do not know what you are going through DS. Do not assume I do not know that every day is a fight. 

What I am saying to you is stop making excuses and get off your butt and do something. Don't tell me that you are bored so you are going to drink when you don't have a job. There are a million and a half activities that you could be doing to get yourself a job instead of drinking. Don't tell me that you won't go to the pool because you are overweight. How do you think you lose the weight??? This is a case of you feeling sorry for yourself. If you want to lose the weight then do something about it. It really is as simple as that. Saying you don't look sexy so you won't go tot he pool is an excuse. The sooner you wake up and see that the sooner your situation will change.

I truly hope you clean up DS. I would like nothing more than to see you succeed in getting clean. It is up to you though and no one else and you can make all the excuses you want, but you are the one those excuses are hurting.


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## -DEADLY SUSHI- (May 31, 2007)

Its ****. And its not logical. Every day is a challenge. If I could find it and smash it I would. Its messed up my llife in so man ways.
Before alcohol my life was ****. The stuff I've been through has been like knife in the heart. Maybe thats why I drink. If I wrote a book no one would believe it.


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## buckytom (May 31, 2007)

sush, if you want to meet women, and get a job, and stop drinking, just do it. period.

if you want to be a loser, then continue on with drinking. it's as simple as that. look in the mirror everyday, set a goal of what you want to accomplish, and just get through that one day.

and please don't think you're the only one who fights daily battles. gimme a break.

flip the page, man, this book is getting boring.


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## Katie H (May 31, 2007)

-DEADLY SUSHI- said:
			
		

> Its ****. And its not logical. Every day is a challenge. If I could find it and smash it I would. Its messed up my llife in so man ways.
> Before alcohol my life was ****. The stuff I've been through has been like knife in the heart. Maybe thats why I drink. If I wrote a book no one would believe it.


Okay, sush!  You've dumped a...load.  And, yes, it's a load.  Listen to your universe...and others who are telling you.  Clean up and seek help.

A book?  We all could write a book, so give that up.

You've started another thread on this board (Doctor Who), which tells me you have the ability to focus elsewhere.

As I said some time ago, take a shower and get yourself to someone who will help you.  Taking care of yourself should be your primary focus before meeting women, etc.


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## amber (Jun 1, 2007)

buckytom said:
			
		

> sush, if you want to meet women, and get a job, and stop drinking, just do it. period.
> 
> if you want to be a loser, then continue on with drinking. it's as simple as that. look in the mirror everyday, set a goal of what you want to accomplish, and just get through that one day.
> 
> ...



buckytom, an alcoholic does not just "stop drinking and "do it".  I found your above comments very rude and insensitive towards Deadly Sushi when you called him a loser.  If you want to flip the page, then dont read this thread I suppose.  Funny how so many come to this thread though.  Finding something in themselves, a glitch perhaps, or a way to help, but either way, it seems to be a compelling thread, yes because we care, but most of the posts are sort of negative in nature. All I can say is if you dont like the thread, dont post.


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## Corey123 (Jun 1, 2007)

The best thing that he can do at this point is to find and check himself  into a detoxification center and stay there for as long as it takes for a drying out.

Then he should go to AA meetings and get some theropy and counciling. And hopefully stay away from alcohol altogether!

Yes buckytom, I agree with amber. Calling DS a loser or any other words that hurt is NOT the answer. That only causes him to sink even more. Give him the same respect that you'd want for yourself. Be firm, but don't cdall him any names.


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## buckytom (Jun 1, 2007)

amber and corey, i didn't just flat out call sush a loser. did you read my post more than once before you posted with your replies? it's a good habit to get into just to be sure that you're reading someone right. i do that so i don't get on someone for the wrong reasons.

amber, you've often read me the wrong way.

i SAID if he wants to BE a loser (no job, no gf, no life except to sit at home and drink. what do you call that?), then to keep on drinking. he's obviously miserable, and wants to straighten out his act. coddling, hugs, and even logic doesn't seem to work. so i laid it out for him. with both advice and disgust.

i didn't just say things to be mean. i'd love sush to get back on his feet and be the funny guy that we all met a while ago. if i didn't like him in some way (sorry to be talking about you in the second person, man), i would have ignored the thread.

and yes amber, the only way for most people to stop drinking is to stop, and take things one day at a time. one goal, each day, no drinking.

then you can rebuild your life.


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## suzyQ3 (Jun 1, 2007)

buckytom said:
			
		

> amber and corey, i didn't just flat out call sush a loser. did you read my post more than once before you posted with your replies? it's a good habit to get into just to be sure that you're reading someone right. i do that so i don't get on someone for the wrong reasons.
> 
> amber, you've often read me the wrong way.
> 
> ...


First of all, neither you nor GB have been rude or insensitive one bit. If anything, I think you've both exhibited a good deal of patience with a person who should be grateful that, after so regularly publicizing personal aspects of his life, others take the time to weigh in with sound advice and not just Oh, Woe is You pablum.

Second of all, and related to said repeated publications, maybe such venting is actually detrimental in this case. Maybe it has become, if not an addiction in and of itself, a kind of crutch. Maybe DS should forgo the keyboard and face his situation head-on in a Real Life way. Just a thought.


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## rbmccleary (Jun 1, 2007)

My father is an alcoholic so this disease has affected me my entire life. My Dad is one of the coolest guys I've ever met. He's funny, smart, talented in alot of different ways, and just a nice guy. That being said he drinks everyday just to stay normal. He's tried to quit many times and when he has went AA and church. He gets the shakes and breaks out in some kind of rashes. As a little girl it was a horrible thing to see my Dad go through and then always fail. It was the reason my parents divorced. Usually he would drink all day long and for the most part you can barely tell. He is what I think is called a high functioning alcoholic. Never lost a job or even a dui. But freqeuntly once he got home he would start slamming them down. Then he became a different person. This person was mean and even at times would not even know who I was. Now when I see him he always has a cooler in the bed of his truck filled with only beer. My Dad had a heart attack a couple of years ago and for what ever reason I didn't find out that it happen until almost a year later. I think he thought his wife called me and that I must of not cared b\c I didn't come see him. I call my Dad everyday now b\c I'm so scared that he is going to die and I won't even know. 

I know that you can't do this on your own and you are going to have get a prefessional to help you. I think it's really brave of you to come on here and lay everything out the way you have. Please take the next step. I hope to come on here and see that you are sober and start counting the days with you. You have a wonderful happy life that's waiting for you to start living it.

I hope my going on and on about my Dad was helpful and not strange or anything.


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## Corey123 (Jun 1, 2007)

buckytom said:
			
		

> amber and corey, i didn't just flat out call sush a loser. did you read my post more than once before you posted with your replies? it's a good habit to get into just to be sure that you're reading someone right. i do that so i don't get on someone for the wrong reasons.
> 
> amber, you've often read me the wrong way.
> 
> ...


 


Yes I DID read your post more than once, and it DOES say if he wants to be a loser.


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## GB (Jun 1, 2007)

That is his point though Corey. Bucky did not say he _is_ a loser. He said if he _wants to be_ a loser. 

Amber said that Bucky called sushi a loser which is incorrect. Bucky never called him a loser at all.


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## Corey123 (Jun 1, 2007)

I apoligize for the mix-up.


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## buckytom (Jun 1, 2007)

thanks gb and suzyq.

i was trying to be careful when wording that so it wouldn't be misunderstood, but, oh well.

sush, my point is still the same. you need to be tough on yourself, and put your mind to what you want to be, then do it. no one would have responded if we didn't think you were capable or worthy of it.

now, don't be a loser.


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## D_Blackwell (Jun 1, 2007)

> I dont want sympathy. Im posting this so people know about my addiction. And maybe someone can relate.





> is a disease


 Yes, but also an excuse.  Deal with it.

If you are ready to quit, ready to do the things that need to be done - you will find, and deserve, plenty of support; and will eventually discover how much of that comes from within.  If you aren't ready, then it would be unproductive for anyone involved to waste their time.  There is nothing that can be done for someone that isn't committed tough it out doing the day-by-day, and even minute-by-minute work that sobriety requires.

I am approaching twenty years clean, and it will never be long enough.

The best thing that can happen is to hit bottom, as I did.  I am completely clean, and don't have to worry about any gray areas of what I can or cannot do.  I feel worst for those that can 'control' their excesses just well enough to keep job and family 'together', yet lead ruined lives, paving the way for their children to do the same.


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## Alix (Jun 1, 2007)

D Blackwell, good for you! 20 years is quite an accomplishment. 

And to the rest of you a short side note. Deadly Sushi, GB, and Buckytom have a history much longer than the rest of you probably know. It is because of this that their words may seem harsher to those of you who don't know the history they share. Those of us who have been with the site from nearly the beginning know each other fairly well by now. 

And for my two cents. Sushi dear, you know we love you, you know we care. YOU need to care enough about yourself to do something about this. Thats it in a nutshell.


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## skilletlicker (Jun 1, 2007)

I don't have anything constructive to say to the original poster.

I would like to share some thoughts with those who are replying to this thread. I don't really know or care if the original poster is married or has children.  The following is based on my experiences.

It is very easy to unwittingly become an emotional enabler online.  In the real world there are limits that are eventually imposed as a consequence of the irrational actions and demands of the addict/alcoholic.  In the virtual world a child never suffers the abandonment of not being picked up on Friday of "Dad's weekend".  Some of you seem to think Dad deserves succor for having the "courage" of posting a few half true, self absolving sentences.  In fact I think he just craves attention and understanding.  Problematically, he wants us to understand and pay attention to the fellow that he imagines he would be, were it not for all his problems.

The fact is that the whole "real" world is judging us on what we really are and do; not on what we imagine we could be, and might do.

I said I had no words for deadly sushi.  Well, I do.  Seek out a guy like D Blackwell, you know where to find him, with the intent of learning from him, not teaching him anything about you or anything else.


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## Corey123 (Jun 1, 2007)

I was never even an alcoholic and I gave up drinking, mainly because it makes you gain weight, and there is no nutrishional value in it.

Also, because I've got health issues and that I on so much medicine, I just can't take chances and end up having a relapse of the illness I was diagnosed with, and also, I'm a diabetic.


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## Katie H (Jun 2, 2007)

Okay, here it is in a nutshell.  Sushi...quit begging for attention.  Understand that there are people who love you and want you to "get on with it."

Now, after falling on your face (and you will) grab yourself out of the slime and seek help.

Have you had enough attention?  Now, crawl to the phone and....ASK FOR HELP.

I AM, AND MOST OF US HERE ARE DONE WITH OFFERING ASSISTANCE. (All caps, to get your attention.)

Been there.  Got the t-shirt.


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## -DEADLY SUSHI- (Jun 2, 2007)

> Okay, here it is in a nutshell. Sushi...quit begging for attention. Understand that there are people who love you and want you to "get on with it."
> 
> Now, after falling on your face (and you will) grab yourself out of the slime and seek help.
> 
> ...



Crawl??? Begging for attention? HUH?!?!? How much do you think I drink?
Ill tell you. Once or twice a week. And very very rarely do I black out OR crawl. 
Also, who is BEGGING for attention?! I dont understand that at ALL. Its responses like that, that make me wish I never even posted my problem.
Can some mod please delete this whole thread?


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## GB (Jun 2, 2007)

-DEADLY SUSHI- said:
			
		

> Crawl??? Begging for attention? HUH?!?!? How much do you think I drink?
> Ill tell you. Once or twice a week.


OK you are joking right??? You come on here and admit that you are an alcoholic and then you get upset when someone assumes you drink and you try to play it off like you only drink once in a while??? and THEN you try to say it is not a call for attention. DS you need to wake up. Look at how many people have told you to wake up in this thread. Do you really think that all these people are wrong and that you are right?

You come here admitting a problem, but then don't want to hear it when people tell you that you need to do something for yourself to get help. If you were not just looking for attention then just what exactly did you expect to get out of this thread?

I am not going to pull this thread. No one has broken any rules. You just do not like what you are hearing. You will have to face the consequences of your actions. If another admin or mod wants to pull it then they will, but I will not contribute to you feeling sorry for yourself and not getting your way of having people say oh poor sushi here is a hug.


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## -DEADLY SUSHI- (Jun 3, 2007)

To be fair there are several types of alcoholics. 
Im not a crawler. I rarely black out. I drink too often. During holidays its everyday. 3 or 4 days strait. When its just a regular week I drink 1 or 2 times a week. BEFORE AA I was drinking almost every day and forgetting what I did the night before. 
Yes Im an alcoholic. But I dont need a shoulder to cry on. I have my support group. 
It really frustrates me to have someone think thats why I wrote this thread! Especially after I made it clear I did NOT write this thread for that reason. 
I had someone encorage me to write about my problems. And I hoped that it would open a small floodgate of people that ALSO have addictions. So we can talk about it.
Some people DO need a hug. (Eva Longoria Im here if you need me ) And some people DO need a support group and someone to talk too. 
When I wrote this thread I had that in mind. That along with lots of beer and a fun evening of self loathing. 
But youre darn tootin' right when I read:


> Have you had enough attention?  Now, crawl to the phone and....ASK FOR HELP.


Maybe she was trying to motivate me. Maybe it would 'sound' better if she was on the phone talking to me. But written out it just sounds horrible. 
I would like to answer more questions before folks throw out 'tough love'. Maybe there really isnt any more alcoholics on here to speak out.


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## amber (Jun 3, 2007)

GB said:
			
		

> OK you are joking right??? You come on here and admit that you are an alcoholic and then you get upset when someone assumes you drink and you try to play it off like you only drink once in a while??? and THEN you try to say it is not a call for attention. DS you need to wake up. Look at how many people have told you to wake up in this thread. Do you really think that all these people are wrong and that you are right?
> 
> You come here admitting a problem, but then don't want to hear it when people tell you that you need to do something for yourself to get help. If you were not just looking for attention then just what exactly did you expect to get out of this thread?
> 
> I am not going to pull this thread. No one has broken any rules. You just do not like what you are hearing. You will have to face the consequences of your actions. If another admin or mod wants to pull it then they will, but I will not contribute to you feeling sorry for yourself and not getting your way of having people say oh poor sushi here is a hug.



I agree with sushi that this thread should be pulled.  He respectfully requested that from mods. 

Amber


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## sydfan (Jun 3, 2007)

Addiction sucks. It becomes your god. It's all you can think about and anything that gets in the way of it makes you mad as heck. I've had several addictions in my life, but the most difficult were pain killers. I still jones for them 4 years later. 

Good luck sushi. You have to really want to stop, otherwise you won't. It's really as simple as that.


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## suzyQ3 (Jun 3, 2007)

-DEADLY SUSHI- said:
			
		

> To be fair there are several types of alcoholics.
> Im not a crawler. I rarely black out. I drink too often. During holidays its everyday. 3 or 4 days strait. When its just a regular week I drink 1 or 2 times a week. BEFORE AA I was drinking almost every day and forgetting what I did the night before.
> Yes Im an alcoholic. But I dont need a shoulder to cry on. I have my support group.
> It really frustrates me to have someone think thats why I wrote this thread! Especially after I made it clear I did NOT write this thread for that reason.
> ...


You're looking for attention from those gullible enough to play along, to enable with their words. You found a couple. Did that help? Do you feel stronger and more likely not to drink? I doubt it. It's so much easier to use this medium than to effect true change in the real world. 

What you are doing here and probably have done in other threads is the cyber equivalent of narcissistic drunk calling and nothing more. Please don't insult us with baloney about floodgates and support. It is you who are being rude and insensitive by exploiting the good nature of your DC pals and by attempting to make your them complicit through your maudlin self-pity.


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## mish (Jun 3, 2007)

-DEADLY SUSHI- said:
			
		

> *Anyone here an alcoholic*? A few folks here know that I drink a lot on occasion. Soooooooo... *I diagnosed myself as an alcoholic. *
> It really bugs me. Sober, Im a well thinking guy with a good heart. *But after half a 5th of hard liquer I turn into a jerk that blabs and makes poor decisions*. I went to AA last week and* talked to a few guys that are in the same boat. They are about 20-22 years old. I told them 2/3 of the stuff that I did or what happened to me that involved alcohol and scared them stiff*. It felt good to *tell folks* what this devil sauce does. *I just wish I knew what it feels like to be able to have a few beers and just stop. Because I just want to keep drinking.*


 
Your post confuses me.  Alcoholic?  What is the purpose?  Do you want advice, do you want to know who is?  First, I don't feel this is an appropriate forum to air addiction problems in detail.  You said you are an alcoholic, then you come back later & change your story - saying you don't always black out & there are different kinds of alcoholics.  You say here you can't stop.

You say you went to a meeting last week and scared 20 year-olds stiff - talking about YOUR problems & feels good to TELL people your problems.  That is very selfish.  I respectfully say - if you go to any 12 step meeting - take a seat & LISTEN to what the speaker says.  If you listened, you would have heard what the program is about.

My questions now - Did you stand up & identify yourself as an alcoholic (or whatever the 12=step program is (AA, NA, OA, Ea, etc etc etc).  Did you p/u brochures?, did you get a list of meetings, did you buy the book, did you get a sponsor?!  Did you go to only one meeting, and then come back & say AA is open 24/7 - are you giving advice & trying to help others.  Do the work - & listen to Blackwell & oldtimer's that have at least a few years of sobriety under their belt!  You are not working - what's an hour of your day EVERY day to go to a support group - instead of having AA members read this thread (what is that about!)

You say you're lonely, depressed - have posted problems ( ask for advice) re jobs, relationships -- start a thread & sometimes abandon it.  Now you want this one pulled because you now don't have a problem.  You say your life is ****  I hesitate to give you advice, because you ignore it or walk away or act out in a virtual on-line reality - but here it is -- go to your family doc/gp & be honest.  If life as bad as you say - get counseling.  But, please don't expect people on line to hold your hand & make it better by feeding your ego.  

P.S.  I've seen some well-meaning? advice given here - but it is second-hand & not conmpletely accurate.  Get it from the horse's mouth - not from people who knew someone & employ scare tactics.  Not eeveryone needs to go to a detox facility - sushie is not working & maybe he doesn't have insurance.  But that is besides the point.  (You can get on a waiting list for a county bed, if you can't cope.  But, you now say - you don't have a problem.)  You will learn everything you need to know at a program, if you sit, listen & do the work.

Bottom line - Stop if you want.  Don't stop, if you don't want - you don't NEED to do anything -- but please don't hand out advice here.


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## -DEADLY SUSHI- (Jun 3, 2007)

Ive made a mistake. I thought people on here respected others hardships and they would allow other people with adictions comment. Instead I get people with no experience being just not rude but ignorant. (SuzyQ) 
I have one of my AA buddies that is next to me right now. He is BEYOND mad at some of these responses.
Look, if you have HAD an addiction.... respond.
If youre an Armchair critic (like SuzyQ) please save your time. Dont respond. You only make yourself look like a fool in the eyes of an addict. 
And for the LAST time..... Im NOT LOOKING FOR AS SHOULDER TO CRY ON.


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## -DEADLY SUSHI- (Jun 3, 2007)

> My questions now - Did you stand up & identify yourself as an alcoholic (or whatever the 12=step program is (AA, NA, OA, Ea, etc etc etc). Did you p/u brochures?, did you get a list of meetings, did you buy the book, did you get a sponsor?! Did you go to only one meeting, and then come back & say AA is open 24/7 - are you giving advice & trying to help others. Do the work - & listen to Blackwell & oldtimer's that have at least a few years of sobriety under their belt! You are not working - what's an hour of your day EVERY day to go to a support group - instead of having AA members read this thread (what is that about!)



Yes I did say I was an alcoholic.
I have a book on alcoholism.
I do have a sponsor.
I go to meetings every other week and we all help each other.
I start my new job on the 11th. 
I had my AA group read this thread to prove to them Im getting verbally attacked and not prayed for. They not only agree they said I should either NOT come to DC anymore OR to enjoy the site and have this thread removed.


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## mish (Jun 3, 2007)

-DEADLY SUSHI- said:
			
		

> Instead I get people with no experience being just not rude but ignorant.
> 
> *My point precisely, Sushie.*
> 
> Look, if you have HAD an addiction.... respond.


 
Again, I don't feel this is the appropriate forum, IMHO. Nor should you be quoting what an AA member told you to do re this forum.  Since you have your sponsor at your side reading this thread, you probably know the drill - 90 meetings in 90 days.

P.S. Wanted to add re feeling alone, etc - I'm sure you know alcohol is a depressant. For someone to suggest getting an anti-ddepressant - is not good sound nor medical advice. You can't fix a problem unless you (one) own it.

I do wish you the best & I don't judge, criticise or name call - as you saw from my post. Good Luck.


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## Alix (Jun 3, 2007)

I am going to go on record supporting GB's statement here about not pulling this thread. People here are being honest and no one here is being nasty. 

Sushi, I'm also going to let you know that when you start a thread with this kind of potential, you have to take it the way it comes. All the mods and Admins have been keeping a close eye here to make sure this doesn't degenerate into a name calling match. It rides the edge from time to time, but mostly the people here have consistently said they care and that you need help. 

Glad to see you are getting the help you need. Having said that to all of us, nothing more needs to be said here and we can all let this thread settle into obscurity.


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## Corey123 (Jun 3, 2007)

-DEADLY SUSHI- said:
			
		

> Yes I did say I was an alcoholic.
> I have a book on alcoholism.
> I do have a sponsor.
> I go to meetings every other week and we all help each other.
> ...


 


Congratulations!! At least you found a job. I wish that I had one!


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## Toots (Jun 3, 2007)

I just stumbed upon this thread, I didn't want to read it because my dad was/is an alcoholic and has been from the time I was a baby. He is in AA and he has been in AA for 25 years - all I know is that is someone is an alcoholic, its a disease and they can't help themselves, the craving for alcohol is so strong.  It is a very strong addiction and hard to break.  Most people I know who are alcoholics have to hit absolute rock bottom before they try to change.

I'm glad you are in AA Sushi - good luck and keep taking it one day at a time, thats all you can do.


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## -DEADLY SUSHI- (Jun 3, 2007)

Toots said:
			
		

> I just stumbed upon this thread, I didn't want to read it because my dad was/is an alcoholic and has been from the time I was a baby. He is in AA and he has been in AA for 25 years - all I know is that is someone is an alcoholic, its a disease and they can't help themselves, the craving for alcohol is so strong. It is a very strong addiction and hard to break. Most people I know who are alcoholics have to hit absolute rock bottom before they try to change.
> 
> I'm glad you are in AA Sushi - good luck and keep taking it one day at a time, thats all you can do.



Thanks Toots.  It takes a LOT of guts to tell us that. I appreciate it. Im on the steep road to recovery. My dad is a gamble-holic and my grandmother is an alcoholic. Seems to run in the genes.  
Prayers are ALWAYS welcome. For all the folks that have this.


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## JGDean (Jun 4, 2007)

*Drinking alcohol*

A lot of people drink to self-medicate. I speak from experience. Depression, boredom, insecurity & not liking yourself can contribute to it.  Alcohol can make you think you are something special. What it really does is numb, de-motivate and depress you. If you really want to quit, get involved in your new job, keep busy, walk, drink water, think about why you really want to drink and why you *don't*. Try to avoid situations that encourage drinking.
I wish you the best.


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## suzyQ3 (Jun 4, 2007)

-DEADLY SUSHI- said:
			
		

> Ive made a mistake. I thought people on here respected others hardships and they would allow other people with adictions comment. Instead I get people with no experience being just not rude but ignorant. (SuzyQ)
> I have one of my AA buddies that is next to me right now. He is BEYOND mad at some of these responses.
> Look, if you have HAD an addiction.... respond.
> If youre an Armchair critic (like SuzyQ) please save your time. Dont respond. You only make yourself look like a fool in the eyes of an addict.
> And for the LAST time..... Im NOT LOOKING FOR AS SHOULDER TO CRY ON.


_I thought people on here respected others hardships and they would allow other people with adictions comment. Instead I get people with no experience being just not rude but ignorant. (SuzyQ).... If youre an Armchair critic (like SuzyQ) please save your time._

You know nothing about me or my personal life because I don't use discussscooking.com as my personal blog.  As for your intended purpose, if others feel the need to discuss their addictions, I'm sure they're capable of doing so, without prompting from you, in a more appropriate venue. 

So I stand by my remarks to you, strong though they may be. Anything else is mere enabling and would encourage you to continue to wallow rather than to do what you need to do to become well.


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## Corey123 (Jun 4, 2007)

You're so right, JGDean & SuzyQ3!!

Drinking alcohol merey just numbs the pain, and when the high wears off, the problem that they had in the first place is STILL there.

Which means that they've drowned themselves in their own misery, but yet they STILL have not taken care of whatever is bothering them. 

Then they use drinking alcohol as an excuse, saying things like; "Oh, I need a dring to get out of this problem that I'm having." "Oh, I'm going to drink my problems away." " Oh, I'm not going to any AA meetings because all they do is rag on me and make me want to drink even more." "I'm not going to work or school today." "Oh, I'mm not.......... No!!! They need to get off their rusty dusty and get out there to go try to get professional help!!

Then there are the types who get drunk, then blame others for THEIR problems to try to escape reality. "Oh, if you were around to be with me, I might not have been drinking." "You're the reason that I drink in the first place." "Why did you drink my drinks? They were mine!!"

Then there's the enabling issue;

If you help an addict in any way, such as buying them food, giving them money for alcohol, drugs or any other substance abuse, you're not helping them in a positive way! Their money is all going toward things that are ABUSIVE to them and never for good causes.

Even if you buy them clothes, stuff for the house, pay their way on the subway, pay their bills or anything, and they are not doing anything positive to try to help themselves, YOU ARE ENABLING them ANDTHEY ARE STILL OUT OF CONTROL.

They look for every lame excuse in the world to keep on feeding their destructive habit. In other words, they seem to have a bandaid for EVERYTHING.

Their only purpose in life seems to be finding ways to keep on drinking, rather than finding ways to stop!


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