# Post your best quote you've seen or heard!



## Chile Chef (Jul 8, 2009)

I've just seen the coolest quote ran crossed my telly this morning when I flipped it on!


A psychiatrist is a guy who asks you expensive questions that your wife will ask you for free.


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## getoutamykitchen (Jul 8, 2009)

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
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In spite of the cost of living, it's still very popular.
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It's the good girls that keep diaries; the bad girls never have time. 


I'll try to remember some more and come back later.


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## Andy M. (Jul 8, 2009)

Some of the best quotes are members' signatures...

...mine, for example.


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## Alix (Jul 8, 2009)

Mine is my sig line, but I also get a kick out of Chuck Norris's "If I want your opinion I'll beat it out of you" Lone Wolf McQuade.


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## radhuni (Jul 8, 2009)

A very popular quote in Bengali:

Sree Sree Ramakrishna Param Hansa Dev, a great spiritual teacher told to his disciples "bhoy kire pagla, aami to achhi" (why are you afraid, I am here to rescue). 

You will ofcourse can't get the real flavor of this quote if you don't know Bengali.


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## Chile Chef (Jul 8, 2009)

radhuni said:


> A very popular quote in Bengali:
> 
> Sree Sree Ramakrishna Param Hansa Dev, a great spiritual teacher told to his disciples "bhoy kire pagla, aami to achhi" (why are you afraid, I am here to rescue).
> 
> You will ofcourse can't get the real flavor of this quote if you don't know Bengali.


Isn't Bengali one of the Thunder cat's from the 1980's cartoon?


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## Laury (Jul 8, 2009)

"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." Fran Leibowitz

"Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it." Andy Rooney


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## bethzaring (Jul 8, 2009)

one of my favorites, a former sig line of mine

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."  *Margaret Mead*


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## GrillingFool (Jul 8, 2009)

"Your spending expands to exceed your income."


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## kitchenelf (Jul 8, 2009)

**I type the way I live...fast, with a lot of mistakes

**If white wine goes with fish do grapes go with sushi?

**Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes

**Practice safe lunch, use your condiments

**I've been missing my ex-husband lately...but my aim is getting better 

And Andy M - I have always loved your sig!


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## getoutamykitchen (Jul 8, 2009)

I had to dig through my misc. pile of papers, but I found some more. I write these things down and throw them in a tray.

Quote by *Chris Rock* during the Bush administration:
You know the world has gone crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named, "Bush, Dick and Colon."
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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
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And by the late, but great *Erma Bombeck*...

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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Never lend your car to anyone you have given birth to.
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Never participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.


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## Andy M. (Jul 8, 2009)

Albert Einstein explaining Relativity:

   Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.


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## roadfix (Jul 8, 2009)

I don't have a favorite quote but here's a recent Charles Schwab billboard ad which was plastered around L.A. which I thought was amusing.


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## Scotch (Jul 8, 2009)

Voltaire's letter to a critic: 

_I am seated in the smallest room in the house.
I have your letter before me.
Soon it will be behind me._


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## nanat (Jul 8, 2009)

*quote*

"It's always somthing, aint never nothing"


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## katybar22 (Jul 8, 2009)

I guess I like my sig line best, but if I come up with something else I'll let ya know by changing my sig line, lol!!


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## Scotch (Jul 8, 2009)

These arrived in my in-box this afternoon:

Exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said,  “If you were my husband I'd give you poison,” and he said, “If you were my wife, I'd drink it.”

    A Member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.” “That depends, sir,” said Disraeli, “on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”

    “He had delusions of adequacy.”  _Walter Kerr_

    “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”  _Winston Churchill_

    “A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”  _Winston Churchill_

    “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”_ Clarence Darrow_

    “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”  _William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)_

    “Poor Faulkner.  Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”  _Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)_

    “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it.” _Moses Hadas_

    “He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” _Abraham Lincoln_

    “I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”  _Mark Twain_

    “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”   _Oscar Wilde_

    “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play. Bring a friend... if you have one.”  _George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill_

    “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.”  _Winston Churchill, in response_

    “I feel so miserable without you. It's almost like having you here.”  _Stephen Bishop_

    “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”  _John Bright_

    “I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.”  _Irvin S. Cobb_

    “He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.”  _Samuel Johnson_

    “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”  _Paul Keating_

    “There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.”  _Jack E. Leonard_

    “He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.”  _Robert Redford_

    “They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.”  _Thomas Brackett Reed_

    “In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”  _Charles M. de Talleyrand_

    “He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”  _Forrest Tucker_

    “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”  _Mark Twain_

    “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”  _Mae West_

    “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”  _Oscar Wilde_

    “He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination.”  _Andrew Lang_

    “He has Van Gogh's ear for music.”  _Billy Wilder_

    “I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But, this wasn't it.”  _Groucho Marx

_


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## JoAnn L. (Jul 8, 2009)

*Quote*

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.


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## radhuni (Jul 9, 2009)

Chile Chef said:


> Isn't Bengali one of the Thunder cat's from the 1980's cartoon?



No Bengali is the language spoken in Bengal. World's 7th largest spoken language. Bengali is very rich in literature, culture and heritage and also a very sweet language.I am Bengali.


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## KAYLINDA (Jul 9, 2009)

I am a nobody.
Nobody is perfect.
Therefore, I must be perfect!


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## Chile Chef (Jul 9, 2009)

getoutamykitchen said:


> Quote by *Chris Rock* during the Bush administration:
> You know the world has gone crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named, "Bush, Dick and Colon."


Haha, That's cracking me up!


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## ChefJune (Jul 9, 2009)

"Hate is too important an emotion to waste on someone you don't even like."    Joe Williams (famous Jazz Singer and Grandpa Al on "The Cosby Show." -- and more importantly, my great friend)


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## babetoo (Jul 9, 2009)

"what fresh hell is this" dorothy parker, i think. applies to any thing that makes you crazy.


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## radhuni (Jul 10, 2009)

It is a very famous and popular quote in India, " Brilliant Deduction ". I hope all of you know the quote it is of Sherlock Holmes.


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## getoutamykitchen (Jul 14, 2009)

Ya polish a turd...
Ya still got a turd!!!


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## CasperImproved (Jul 15, 2009)

So many quotes... where to start..

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."
— Mahatma Gandhi

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
— C.S. Lewis

"A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool."
— William Shakespeare

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."
— Douglas Adams

"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes."
— Mark Twain

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

A lot more of the smart things I can't begin to share are available. If you want just PM me, and I'll make your life really thoughtful.

Bob


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## GB (Jul 15, 2009)

Time you enjoyed wasting was not wasted .


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## Barbara L (Jul 15, 2009)

I like the ones in my signature.  I will probably go nuts now trying to remember all the ones I like!

I have a little plaque that says, "I cleaned last week.  Too bad you missed it."

I gave my mom and dad one years ago that says, "A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers."

I gave my mom a cute plaque that said, "Today's menu: __Take it  __Leave it."

A funny plaque that my mom had that was a paraphrase of a famous Clint Eastwood movie quote had a Spuds Mackenzie look-alike dog on it, and it said, "Go ahead.  Make my bed!"

I have seen several versions of a quote I really like by Henry Ford (No one seems to be sure of the exact quote): "If you think you can or can't, you're probably right."

Barbara


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## CasperImproved (Jul 15, 2009)

Barbara - I can see you are a long time thinker... I like the ones you shared.

Here's a few more from my bag of smarter people:

As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.
Robert Quillen (boy do I know this one)

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
Andy Rooney

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Samuel Palmer 

I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's fine.
Mel Gibson ( note I take wise thoughts wherever they come from)

Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.
Samuel Butler 

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
Muhammad Ali (yah I know.. not much wisdom here, but it was funny)

"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
— Albert Camus (this is a paradigm I wish I learned early)

"Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."
— Terry Pratchett (yah I know, stupid.. but it does make me laugh every time I read it)

"There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate."
— Charles Dickens (if you can't relate to this, leave DC immediately.)


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## radhuni (Jul 16, 2009)

More of my favorites:

'Om asato ma sadgamaya,
tamaso ma jyotirgamaya,
mrityorma amritamgamaya'

O god Take me to true from lie,
Take me towards light or enlightenment from dark or ignorance
Make me to eternity from death

'Gotosyo sochona nasti'

Don't worry about past


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## JoAnn L. (Jul 16, 2009)

If you are too opened minded, your brains will fall out.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.


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## CasperImproved (Jul 16, 2009)

Just a few more 

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.
Helen Rowland (that was a marriage truism in case you were wondering what was being thought of)

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
Mickey Rooney

Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished.
Leslie Nielsen

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Jerome K Jerome

"Women are like teabags; you never know how strong they are until they're put in hot water."
— Eleanor Roosevelt

"Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away."
— Robert Maynard Hutchins

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Marty Feldman


If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin

I know, not really deep ones here. I was in a frivolous mood this afternoon 

Bob


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## msmofet (Jul 16, 2009)

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

roll with it, not in it!! ~~~~~~~~~~~ msmofet


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## luvs (Jul 16, 2009)

i'd rather be pis*ed off than pis*ed on.


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## CasperImproved (Jul 16, 2009)

You ladies are just on a ... roll today, aren't you 

Bob


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## NAchef (Jul 16, 2009)

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!


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## CasperImproved (Jul 16, 2009)

NAchef said:


> Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!



What's wrong with giving the dog a good petting after a long hike? He was being your buddy after all.

Bob


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## NAchef (Jul 16, 2009)

CasperImproved said:


> What's wrong with giving the dog a good petting after a long hike? He was being your buddy after all.
> 
> Bob


 
There you go sweating the petty things.


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## katybar22 (Jul 16, 2009)

OK I just changed my sig line, this is my favorite because I quoted myself!!


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## bullseye (Jul 16, 2009)

"The problem with the rest of the world is they're two drinks behind."
Humphrey Bogart

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
I Forget

"Wherever you go, well, there you are."
Rosanne Rosannadanna


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## msmofet (Jul 16, 2009)

Rule #1 - Don't sweat the small things.
Rule #2 - EVERYTHING is small stuff!!


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## CasperImproved (Jul 16, 2009)

katybar22 said:


> OK I just changed my sig line, this is my favorite because I quoted myself!!




I'm hugging you right now...  I am THAT happy about your news.

Bob


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## Barbara L (Jul 17, 2009)

"You know what the problem is with people today? They just don't listen."--"R" Leon Wells

Barbara
P.S. That's my dad.


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## NAchef (Jul 17, 2009)

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool opotamous?   -  Mitch Hedberg


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## Chile Chef (Jul 19, 2009)

Here's my personal one!

If you play, you got to pay!

A new day is like a page of a book, It's not written yet.


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## katybar22 (Jul 20, 2009)

I had to change my sig back to my favorite saying.  I couldn't stand seeing the "c" word every time I made a post.  So this is my fave and I'm sticking to it.


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## Uncle Bob (Jul 20, 2009)

Said to my sons on a few occasions....

"Don't write checks with your mouth that your a$$ can't cash"


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## katybar22 (Jul 20, 2009)

665......I'm not *that* bad.


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## msmofet (Jul 20, 2009)

katybar22 said:


> 665......I'm not *that* bad.


 ummmmmmmmmmm


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## katybar22 (Jul 20, 2009)

msmofet said:


> ummmmmmmmmmm


 

Are you saying I *am* that bad?


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## msmofet (Jul 20, 2009)

katybar22 said:


> Are you saying I *am* that bad?


 oh no no i didn't understand till i thought about it for a bit then it came to me 666 and i almost slapped myself in the head!!


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## katybar22 (Jul 20, 2009)

msmofet said:


> oh no no i didn't understand till i thought about it for a bit then it came to me 666 and i almost slapped myself in the head!!


 

Just checking, I mean I do call you the _DEVINE_ Ms M!!


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## msmofet (Jul 20, 2009)

katybar22 said:


> Just checking, I mean I do call you the _DEVINE_ Ms M!!


 LOL yes you do!! muahhhhhhhhhhhhh luv ya sweetie!!


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## JuanGuady (Jul 22, 2009)

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about dancing in the rain.


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## JoAnn L. (Jul 22, 2009)

It took only 50 years for movies to go from silent to unspeakable.

About the time one learns how to make the most of life...the most of it is gone.

It's a universal law...the other line moves faster.


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