# Never Ask A Mississippi GrandMa



## Uncle Bob (Mar 2, 2008)

*Lawyers should never ask a **Mississippi** grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.*
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr.  Bradley since he was a 
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'


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## LadyCook61 (Mar 2, 2008)

Uncle Bob said:


> *Lawyers should never ask a **Mississippi** grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.*
> In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
> 
> The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
> ...


 

hahaha good one !


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## Constance (Mar 2, 2008)

I think that could work for any small town grandmother. 

Every time I see our local top dog drug enforcement officer, I have to chuckle, remembering how, as a teenager, everyone called him "Weed" because he was usually stoned.


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## texasgirl (Mar 2, 2008)

That is hilarious Uncle Bob!!



Constance said:


> I think that could work for any small town grandmother.
> 
> Every time I see our local top dog drug enforcement officer, I have to chuckle, remembering how, as a teenager, everyone called him "Weed" because he was usually stoned.


 yeap!! I would love to live in a small to town to see what kids end up as.


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## Inferno (Mar 2, 2008)

Uncle Bob said:


> *Lawyers should never ask a **Mississippi** grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.*
> In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
> 
> The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
> ...


 
Haha, was that a joke or did it actually happen?


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## kitchenelf (Mar 2, 2008)

Inferno said:


> Haha, was that a joke or did it actually happen?



It's probably happened more times than we can count.

I was watching a trial one time and when still in the jury picking stage one "grandma" stated - you don't want me 'cause if this is what is clogging up our systems it's absolutely ridiculous!!!


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## Maverick2272 (Mar 2, 2008)

Careful what you ask for, LOL. And growing up in a small town, I know how they feel!


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## buckytom (Mar 2, 2008)

lol!!!!!!!!!


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## Bilby (Mar 3, 2008)

Loved it!! Thanks for posting, Uncle Bob!


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## Barbara L (Mar 3, 2008)

A few years ago James got a speeding ticket for a speed he wasn't even close to driving (I was there, and I know).  When he mentioned it to his boss, his boss said he would talk to the judge's mother and it would be taken care of.  

Barbara


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## babetoo (Mar 3, 2008)

babe


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## expatgirl (Mar 4, 2008)

Too funny, Uncle Bob.......I can just see Miss Daisy from "Driving Miss Daisy" definitely saying it.......and can you imagine what they must have said behind people's backs???  My Grandmother sure had opinions........ha!


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## redkitty (Mar 4, 2008)

Genius!  Thanks for the giggles Uncle B!!!!


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## DawnT (Mar 4, 2008)

I think I know her!! Not that I live in Mississippi, but I do live in "small town USA"! Between the people I know and the people they know...LOL


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