# Very sad week



## Fisher's Mom (Apr 30, 2008)

I've been at my mother's house since my brother died on Saturday. He was only 50 but he had 2 heart attacks last year and had been in poor health for a number of years. He was an amputee and had moved in with my mom after my dad died 3 years ago so they could look after each other. It was my mom's biggest fear to find him after he had already passed but sadly, that's what happened. She's completely devastated. My kids and I are her only relatives left aside from her brother. She'll be coming to live with us sometime in the next months - as soon as we can get her packed up. She's lived in her home for over 40 years so it won't be easy for her, especially since she's just lost my brother. If ya'll could add my mom to your thoughts, I'd be really grateful.
Terry


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## Barbara L (Apr 30, 2008)

I'm praying for your mom Terry, as well as for you.  This is a very hard time for both of you, but it is good that you have each other to go through this with.  I'm sorry that this has happened.  Remember you can turn to your DC family any time you need us.

 Barbara


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## mikki (Apr 30, 2008)

Terry, you and your mother will be in my thoughts, I'm very sorry for your loss


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## babetoo (Apr 30, 2008)

so sad u have had this bad news. does u mom want to move. when my husband was killed, my kids wanted me to move out of the house where it happened. i told them no, that his dad and i were very happy there and i wanted to be able to remember that for a while.

i was right, it really helped the process of grief. i stayed there for two years. then i moved.



so really listen to what your mom wants. she probably knows better than anyone

babe


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## pdswife (Apr 30, 2008)

hugs and prayers are being sent.


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## kadesma (Apr 30, 2008)

Terry, so sorry for all you grief now. You have my thoughts and prayers, as do your family..If there is anything else I could help with in some way..I'm here.
kadesma


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## expatgirl (Apr 30, 2008)

oh, I'm so sorry to hear your sad revelations, Terry---how so very sad for your family...of course, we'll keep you in our thoughts  and wishes for courage and strength at this time of your brother's death....please lean on us


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## Corey123 (Apr 30, 2008)

Fisher's Mom said:


> I've been at my mother's house since my brother died on Saturday. He was only 50 but he had 2 heart attacks last year and had been in poor health for a number of years. He was an amputee and had moved in with my mom after my dad died 3 years ago so they could look after each other. It was my mom's biggest fear to find him after he had already passed but sadly, that's what happened. She's completely devastated. My kids and I are her only relatives left aside from her brother. She'll be coming to live with us sometime in the next months - as soon as we can get her packed up. She's lived in her home for over 40 years so it won't be easy for her, especially since she's just lost my brother. If ya'll could add my mom to your thoughts, I'd be really grateful.
> Terry


 


So sorry to hear about the loss of your brother.

My condolences, thoughts and prayers are with you in this most difficult time. I can truly relate to your devastating experience. 

I lost one of mine 3-1/2 years ago to diabetes and alcoholism. He could have lived with the diabetes, but that and alcoholism just don't mix.

I also truly commend your mom as well, and I hope that you both can find
some consoling. God bless.


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## quicksilver (Apr 30, 2008)

_     I'm so sorry for your lose. Frrl free to share with us when you need to._
_Peace._


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## redkitty (Apr 30, 2008)

Oh Terry, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother.  It's good that your mom is coming to live with you and your family.  I'm sure being around the kids will be so good for her.  Sending you hugs and peaceful thoughts.


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## Adillo303 (Apr 30, 2008)

Terry,
Please accept my heartfelt condolences for  you and your family for your loss.

To loose family is hard. It is probably difficult for your children to understand.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Andy


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## suziquzie (Apr 30, 2008)

Terry I've been wondering where you were lately, 
I'm so sorry to hear this!
I am praying for you and your family, sudden losses are terrible. 
Hugs to you, we are all here for you. 
Suzi


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## Bilby (Apr 30, 2008)

So sorry for your loss Terry and heartfelt sympathy to your mom.  There are no words to give your mom to cover her loss.  I hope time is a swift healer for your mom, you and yours.  Thinking of you.


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## Chief Longwind Of The North (Apr 30, 2008)

Just read this and am sorry for your seperation. I won't call it a loss becaus the time between us being with our loved ones here is a temporary time. The time when we will meet them again, after mortality, is forever. But it's still so very hard. 

Of course we are here for you. But always remember, your husband, your children, your mother, and your Creator are those who are most important in your life right now, and always. Turn to your Creator to give you the strength and understanding to be there for your mother. Turn to your husband for support and strength, and to your children for the joy they can bring into your life. Share those things with your mother to help her through her sense of loss.

And yes, you are in my prayers.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


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## Andy M. (Apr 30, 2008)

I am saddened by your and your mother's loss.  Our thoughts are with you.  Your mom is fortunate to have you for a daughter.


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## DaveSoMD (Apr 30, 2008)

I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. 

Dave


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## Uncle Bob (Apr 30, 2008)

Miss Terry....I am so sorry to hear this!! Having lost my Mother & My only brother within 9 weeks of each other in 2005...I identify with your loss, and grief. Pray for strength for each day...Give every thing to Him....He will see you through!

{{{{{{Miss Terry}}}}}}} I hope can feel the love of your DC Family everyday!!


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## QSis (Apr 30, 2008)

My positive thoughts and energies are with you and your Mom, Terry!

Lee


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## Barb L. (Apr 30, 2008)

My heart goes out to you and your Mom saddened by your joint loss.  Prayers and good thoughts have been sent.


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## Loprraine (Apr 30, 2008)

Terry, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.


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## LadyCook61 (Apr 30, 2008)

My deepest sympathies to your family.  Prayers for your mom and you and your kids. 
((hugs))
LadyCook


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## GB (Apr 30, 2008)

I am so sorry to hear that FM! You and your family are certainly in my thoughts!


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## PanchoHambre (Apr 30, 2008)

It is always hard to loose a loved one and my condolences go out to you and you family. It sounds like your family small as it may be is loving and supportive and that is something to be gratful for.


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## buckytom (Apr 30, 2008)

oh, f-mom, my heart breaks for you. i'm very sorry to hear about your bro and mom. i hope these times pass quickly, and your mom is able to find peace and comfort in your home.


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## Jeekinz (Apr 30, 2008)

Good luck Fisher's Mom's Mom!  Be strong.


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## David Cottrell (Apr 30, 2008)

Dear Terry, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. Hopefully this move is agreeable with your mom. My mother sadly wouldn't budge until dementia made in impossible for her to stay in the home she and my dad had bought many years before his death. It's sad to see those things also pass. All the best Terry to you and your family.


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## ChefJune (Apr 30, 2008)

Dear Terry:  hugs and prayers going out to all of you.

Feel free to "dump" on us whenever you need to...


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## jpmcgrew (Apr 30, 2008)

I am sorry for your loss my heart and prayers go out to you and yours. I hope your mom adjusts easily to the move.


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## sattie (Apr 30, 2008)

Terry, my heart is heavy for you and you are in my prayers sweetie.  I pray that our Lord is comforting you and your family at this moment.


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## Alix (Apr 30, 2008)

Fisher's Mom, I'm so sorry to hear that. I said a prayer for peace for your mom and for ease of transition. I'll keep her in my thoughts.


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## GotGarlic (Apr 30, 2008)

Terry, I'm so sorry for your family's loss. I'll be thinking of you. I hope the transition goes well for all of you.


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## LEFSElover (Apr 30, 2008)

Fisher's Mom said:


> I've been at my mother's house since my brother died on Saturday. He was only 50 but he had 2 heart attacks last year and had been in poor health for a number of years. He was an amputee and had moved in with my mom after my dad died 3 years ago so they could look after each other. It was my mom's biggest fear to find him after he had already passed but sadly, that's what happened. She's completely devastated. My kids and I are her only relatives left aside from her brother. She'll be coming to live with us sometime in the next months - as soon as we can get her packed up. She's lived in her home for over 40 years so it won't be easy for her, especially since she's just lost my brother. If ya'll could add my mom to your thoughts, I'd be really grateful.
> Terry


God bless you FishersMom, I am so very very sorry for your family. Praying for you and your mom, please try to take care of yourself and her.


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## kitchenelf (Apr 30, 2008)

Terry, you can add my prayers too.  I am so very sorry.


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## smoke king (Apr 30, 2008)

So sorry for your loss FM-your mom is in my thoughts and prayers are on the way. God bless


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## Douzer77 (Apr 30, 2008)

So sorry for your loss, its such a sad time, my prayers are with you.


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## Saphellae (Apr 30, 2008)

I'm so sorry for your family's loss.  A mother should never have to bury her child, no matter the age.

Your family is in my prayers, and I pray that your mother adjusts quickly to the move.  As someone said on the first page, the children in the home will bring her a renewed joy and you will see the transformation.

I fear something of the same sort will happen to my father - he is 44 and has had a major heart attack a few years ago and a smaller one shortly after.  He stopped smoking for about a year afterwards but started up again just as heavy as always.  Eats junk food.. mostly drinks just coke and water.   I think its a timebomb, and my Mother and I try and get him to stop smoking every time he lights up.  One day I hope it annoys him so much that he quits.

If you need to talk to your friends here at DC, we will all be here for you Terry.


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## miniman (Apr 30, 2008)

It is hard to lose your children before you go. My grandparents had 5 children and lost 4 of them before they died - in fact my grandfather just gave up and didn't see any point to staying alive.


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## luvs (Apr 30, 2008)

Prayers sent. (((((((hugs)))))))


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## texasgirl (Apr 30, 2008)

{{{{Aww, Terry}}}}
I am so sorry. Bless you and your momma!!


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## MexicoKaren (Apr 30, 2008)

Oh Terry, I am so sorry. I can't imagine how hard it must be for your mom, and now you are all looking at some major changes in your lives. Knowing that your mom will be cared for will be some comfort, but it sounds like you already have a full and busy household. This will take some adjustment, and I pray that it goes well.


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## Mama (Apr 30, 2008)

So sorry to hear about your loss.  We'll be praying for you and your family.


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## Fisher's Mom (May 1, 2008)

I just got back home tonight and logged on to find all of these posts. I don't know what to say - I'm overwhelmed by all the really loving and caring thoughts. I've had a very blessed life and haven't been on this end of things very often. I just never imagined so many people taking me and my family into their hearts and prayers. Ya'll can't begin to know just how much this means to me - reading them set the tears rolling down my face. Thank you all so much.

My brother had a sad life and never really had much joy or happiness. We always hoped that this would change one day, so his death is especially sad. My mom and dad were always there for him, hoping and praying that things would get better. Mom is very frail health-wise, but is still as smart and capable mentally as she always has been. She's wanted to move to San Antonio since my father died, but couldn't leave my brother. My brother didn't want to move from the city he'd lived in for 40 years. So they took care of each other.

Now, she's ready to come and let us take care of everything so that she can just enjoy being with the people that love her. It's hard for her to let go of the responsibilities and trust that we love her and welcome the opportunity to be with her and care for her. She scared of being a burden. But she's ready to take this leap of faith and we're so happy she will.

She'll move into the guest house so that she can still have her privacy and the kids won't drive her nuts, but we can take care of all the chores that are just too much for her. Selfishly, I can hardly wait to have morning coffee with her every day! It's a pleasure I haven't had in many years and I'm grateful there is still time for us to do this.

My oldest daughter traded places with me today so I could come home and get my little Fisher. I'll be going back on Saturday so my daughter go back home and back to work. For the time being, we will trade off staying there so she won't be alone. It'll be a hectic few months but it will be worth it.

Again, thanks to all of you for being my friends. It makes me a very rich woman.


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## expatgirl (May 1, 2008)

Hey, we're here for you..........when my hubby's mom was left a widow none of us left her alone for one day....it's what kept her going....she's so lucky to have you and your family to take care of her and I'm so sorry to hear that your brother had such a sad life..


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## Buck (May 1, 2008)

Our love is with you.  God bless.


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## corazon (May 1, 2008)

Thinking of you and your mom. 
Keep us posted with how everything goes. It will take time but I'm sure that she will be so happy living with you and spending time with her grandchildren.


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## Barbara L (May 1, 2008)

I pray that you and your mom have many wonderful morning coffees together.

Barbara


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## JoAnn L. (May 1, 2008)

My sympathy and warmest thoughts are with you and your mom.


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## MexicoKaren (May 1, 2008)

Terry, it makes me sad that your brother never had the opportunity to fulfill his potential. I like to think that he is in a better place and will have another chance. It's great that you will de able to soothe your mother's hurts and enjoy having time with her. This is indeed a remarkable group of people on DC. I have taken part in a number of internet boards over the years, and I've never seen anything like this. Such a warm and supportive community. We are lucky to be a part of it.


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## In the Kitchen (May 1, 2008)

I read your comments in the very beginning and no words seem to be adequate for the amount of heartache you must be having.  Truly has brought me down to put myself in your place.  However, your mom has you and I am sure she will find comfort in knowing you are fine and still able to be with her.  If your brother was having discomfort and not enjoying his life, I find although so painful, you must find strength that his days of misery are over and he is in a place where we know is at rest.  This world can be so cruel.  

I am praying that as the days pass, both you and your mom will find the strength and courage you both need.  Having a family member around is so important and maybe the reason why we are all here today.  I believe there is a plan directed for all of us and we must walk that path no matter how distasteful or disappointing it seems.

Please stay in touch and let us know how things are going.  No matter how far we all need one another.


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## DaveSoMD (May 1, 2008)

We are all here for you. 
Having her own place will be a big benefit for your Mom.  It will give her a place to take care of.  I know at 93 my Grandmother does NOT want anyone to help her. She takes pride in keeping her apartment clean, gradening, and doing for others. Even at her age she is so active in our church that I think she puts some of the "younger crowd" to shame. All here activities and invovement is what got her through when my aunt, her daughter, passed away suddenly in 2006 at 66 yo.  They had lived in the same house for 63 of those 66 years, so I kind of understand what she is going through. Encourage her to be active and let her do things. That will go a long way to helping here transition into your daily lives.


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## Dave Hutchins (May 1, 2008)

Terry My friend you have my deepest condolence's warm thoughts and prayers. Knowing what you are going through having just recently loosing my wife. I understand your grief
and sadness.  My the great I Am grant you peace and comfort.  I will say Kaddish for your brother    Gramps


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## quicksilver (May 1, 2008)

_I know you're probably feeling alittle numb right now, or if not, alittle overwhelmed, but each day you'll see how strong you really are, and that we're all with you. Blessings to you and yours._

Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees all the others. _- Winston Churchill_


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## Katie H (May 1, 2008)

Terry, I'm so sorry to learn your sad news.  I have been in and out the last 24 hours, mostly out, and have just now had the chance to offer my condolences to your and your dear mother.  Buck and I send our hugs and will say prayers for you all.


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