# How to explain to a 4 year old...



## buckytom (May 10, 2008)

our oldest cat, doodie, is dying. she may not make it through the day. she has a tumor by her kidneys.

this happens to be my son's favourite cat. until a week ago, he slept with her on a pillow above his head every night. 

a few weeks ago, he and i were looking over some old pictures and he saw (and amazingly remembered) another one of our cats that passed before he was 2.
he asked where she was, and i explained that she got old and sick, and went to heaven. he didn't really get that, but understood that he hasn't seen her for a long time, and won't anymore.

then i briefly approached the subject of doodie getting old and sick, and he just made a big sad face, instantly tearing up and shaking his head "no".

so i changed the subject.

we didn't think that this would happen so fast. she was still running around just last week. the doc says because of her age, there's nothing that can be done. she's not in pain, but is uncomfortable, and is not eating. hopefully, she'll go quickly in her bed at home.

but how do i explain this to a 4 year old? any suggestions?

these are the times when life sucks.


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## LadyCook61 (May 10, 2008)

Buckytom, I feel for your son, it is difficult at any age to lose a pet. If you have time, do check out the link. 


Children and Pet Loss


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## GB (May 10, 2008)

I wish I had a good suggestion, but I am jut as clueless. I a watching this topic with interest because it is just a matter of time until we have to explain the same thing, but wit my grandfather.

I wish you luck and strenghth bucky and my heartfelt sympathies for when the time comes.


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## LadyCook61 (May 10, 2008)

*When a Pet Dies*

For most kids, pets are more than just animals their families own — pets are considered members of the family and the best of friends.
Unfortunately, the joy of owning a pet goes hand-in-hand with the heartbreak of losing one. Whether it's because of old age, illness, or an accident, the pet your child loves will die at some point.
And that can be very difficult. After all, family pets often are the first to greet kids in the morning and after school. Your pet may be the one your child looks to for comfort and companionship when ill or feeling unpopular or upset.
While it's impossible to shelter kids from the loss of a pet, you can help them cope with the experience. And because a pet's death might be their first time losing a loved one, the process of learning how to deal with it can help kids learn how to cope with other losses throughout life.
*Sharing the News and the Grief*

One of the most difficult parts about losing a pet may be breaking the bad news to your child. Try to do so one-on-one in a place where your child feels safe and comfortable and isn't easily distracted.
As you would with any tough issue, try to gauge how much information your child needs to hear based on his or her age, maturity level, life experience, and the questions that your child asks.
If your pet is very old or has a lingering illness, consider talking to your child before death actually occurs. If you have to euthanize your pet, you may want to explain that:

the veterinarians have done everything that they can
your pet would never get better
this is the kindest way to take the pet's pain away
the pet will die peacefully, without feeling hurt or scared
Again, your child's age, maturity level, and questions will help determine whether you might want to offer a clear and simple explanation for what's going to happen. If so, it's OK to use words like "death" and "dying" or to say something like "The veterinarian will give our pet a shot that first puts it to sleep and then stops the heart from beating." Many kids want a chance to say goodbye beforehand, and some may be old enough or emotionally mature enough to be there to comfort the pet during the process.
If you do have to euthanize your pet, be careful about telling your child that the animal went "to sleep” or "got put to sleep." Young kids tend to interpret events literally, so this can conjure up scary misconceptions about sleep or surgery and anesthesia.
If the pet's death is more sudden, calmly explain what has happened. Be brief, and let your child's questions guide how much information you provide.
Avoid trying to gloss over the event with a lie. Telling a child that "Buster ran away" or "Max went on a trip" is not a good idea. It probably won't alleviate the sadness about losing the pet, and if the truth does come out, your child will probably be angry that you lied.
If asked what happens to the pet after it dies, draw on your own understanding of death, including, if relevant, the viewpoint of your faith. And since none of us knows fully, an honest "I don't know" certainly can be an appropriate answer — it's OK to tell kids that death is a mystery.
*Helping Your Child Cope*

Like anyone dealing with a loss, kids usually feel a variety of emotions besides sadness after the death of a pet. They might experience loneliness, anger if the pet was euthanized, frustration that the pet couldn't get better, or guilt about times that they were mean to or didn't care for the pet as promised.
Help kids understand that it's natural to feel all of those emotions, that it's OK to not want to talk about them at first, and that you're there when they are ready to talk.
Don't feel compelled to hide your own sadness about losing a pet. Showing how you feel and talking about it openly sets an example for kids. You show that it's OK to feel sad when you lose a loved one, to talk about your feelings, and to cry when you feel sad. And it's comforting to kids to know that they're not alone in feeling sad. Share stories about the pets you had — and lost — when you were young and how difficult it was to say goodbye.
*Moving On*

After the shock of the news has faded, it's important to help your child heal and move on.
It can help kids to find special ways to remember a pet. You might have a ceremony to bury your pet or just share memories of fun times you had together. Write a prayer together or offer thoughts on what the pet meant to each family member. Share stories of your pet's funny moments or escapades. Offer lots of loving hugs. You could do a project, too, like making a scrapbook.
Keep in mind that grieving over the loss of a pet, particularly for a child, is similar to grieving over a person. For kids, losing a pet who offered love and companionship can be much more difficult than losing a distant relative. You might have to explain that to friends, family members, or others who don't own pets or don't understand that.
Perhaps most important, talk about your pet, often and with love. Let your child know that while the pain will eventually go away, the happy memories of the pet will always remain. When the time is right, you might consider adopting a new pet — not as a replacement, but as a way to welcome another animal friend into your family.
Reviewed by: Jennifer Schroff Pendley, PhD
Date reviewed: August 2006


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## love2"Q" (May 10, 2008)

we just went through this with two dogs in the last year ...
we told our son that brutus was very old and had lived a 
very good life .. and that soon he would be a star in the sky 
to watch over him .. he was upset but he understood ..
when brutus did pass .. he was not home .. but we told him
when he got home from school .. he then wanted to sit outside 
until it was dark to see his star .. 
good luck to you .. it is always hard to explain these things ..


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## pacanis (May 10, 2008)

Sorry to hear about your cat, BT.  And no experience with kids, so can't help you there.... Tough situation you're in for sure.  I'm sure everyting will work out.


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## GB (May 10, 2008)

love2"Q" said:


> we just went through this with two dogs in the last year ...
> we told our son that brutus was very old and had lived a
> very good life .. and that soon he would be a star in the sky
> to watch over him .. he was upset but he understood ..
> ...



What a great idea about the stars. I think that is brilliant.


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## middie (May 10, 2008)

Aw Bucky I'm sorry to hear about this. I wish I had some advice to give to you but Billy was a little bit older when we had Max put down. 4 is a tough age when it comes to something like this. It will be tough. But I think the right thing will just come to you.
Stay strong for your little guy.


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## Maverick2272 (May 10, 2008)

Our kids have been there for two dogs passing. I must have somehow got lucky because each time they took 'last' photos of themselves with the dogs, and seem to understand perfectly that the dogs are in heaven waiting for them. It seems to give them a goal in life to try and be good so they can go to heaven and see the dogs again. They also went with us when we put the dogs down, hugging them and saying goodbye and then watching as they put the dog to sleep. Then they give Daddy some time to say goodbye by himself and go out to wait and look at the other doggies there.
Abby is 3, and if you ask her where Ophelia is, she will tell you, "Phe is in heaven and if you are good someday you will get to see her, but only if you are good as she can only see good people now."
The only thing I said was that, "Dogs do not live as long as we do. She has lived a full life, and it is time for her to pass on and go to heaven." They ran with it and came up with the rest on their own. I saw no harm in what they felt, so I let em go with it.

I get a lot of guff from people about letting my kids go with us and see this, but I tell them this is a very personal experience that differs greatly from family to family, so judging what one family does as opposed to what another does is a pretty ignorant thing to do.
Best I can tell you BT is when the time comes just 'talk' with him about it, and let him be a pat of the conversation as opposed to trying to spend most of the time explaining it to him. He probably already has ideas of his own forming, so you have to set your own boundaries based on what you know about him and yourself, and then let him wander freely within those boundaries.
Good luck and I am sorry to hear about your cat. When she gets to heaven have her look up my Airy (our collie that passed in 04), she always loved to play with cats. And if she needs a pal to watch her back, she can look up Ophelia, she always protected our cat Oscar for us.


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## Andy M. (May 10, 2008)

BT, you have my sympathies.  

Your son is fortunate to have you for love and support at this critical time.  It's never easy to lose a pet and it's especially hard when that pet has been there your whole life and you are too young to understand what is happening.


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## Corey123 (May 10, 2008)

Bucky, I'm so sorry to hear about this, and I feel even badder for your son.

It IS extremely difficult to accept or deal with, especially for a little boy who is so used to having her around to play with and sleep with.

I haven't had this happen to me, but I know friends and relatives who have had to face it. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your little boy.


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## jkath (May 10, 2008)

Mav, that's really well said.

Bucky - I'm so sorry, not only for seeing your son sad, but also knowing you'll be without a loved part of your family. Even though he's 4, he knows a lot. I think telling him the facts, in the way that a 4-year old can understand, is the best. I'd tell him that for each year a person lives, the cat has (__) years. (sorry, I know dogs are 7, but not too sure on cats) Then explain how old the cat is in kitty years. Remind him to pet doodie gently, and to say "I love you".  Maybe he could draw a picture of "kitty heaven" and tell the cat that it's a wonderful place.
I have a dear friend who had a son who passed away at birth. The other children were most helped when they could draw pictures of him, in heaven, being protected and loved. Those pictures hang in the playroom.


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## Saphellae (May 10, 2008)

This is bringing tears to my eyes, I'm so sorry Tom.  I don't have much experience with children but Mav's advice would be the best I think, and I think the star idea is brilliant.  Losing a furry member of the family is difficult, especially when you see how much it breaks a child's heart.


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## pacanis (May 10, 2008)

Very well put, Maverick. I think you are perfectly right in letting your whole family be a part of this. 
One thing I thought of this morning when I read this, but don't know if a 4 yo could grasp, is saying that pets aren't on earth as long as people are because it doesn't take them as long to learn how to love.


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## luvs (May 10, 2008)

i'm sorry, bucky, fer you & your kiddo. losing a pet is rough.
i love that star in the sky post. that's very gentle, & your 4-year-old could see his kitty any night he wanted to, in that huge sky with all those stars keeping kitty company.


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## Alix (May 10, 2008)

Buckytom, kids have more capacity to understand than we give them credit for. My personal theory is that kids come from heaven and haven't forgotten it quite yet. Remember that story about dogs? Why they only live a short time? The kid in that story told his mom that the reason humans live a long time is to learn how to live a good life and love everyone, dogs already know all that stuff so they don't have as long on earth. Same with kitties. 

Just be honest with him. It hurts like heck, but its the best way. Be with him, hug him and wipe his tears and share yours with him too. Kids need to see its OK to grieve, and boys especially need to know it isn't weak to grieve for something you love. Sending you a virtual hug my friend. I'm so sorry for you guys, it hurts so much to lose a member of your family like that.


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## QSis (May 10, 2008)

Oh wow, BT, I hope you don't have to work this weekend!

I'm very sorry to hear about the sadness you and your family are going through with your kitty.  

The advice of the others sounds great to me.

Sending you positive energies.

Lee


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## buckytom (May 10, 2008)

thank you, everyone.

i don't have much to say. this is gonna be rough.

but thanks from the bottom of my heart.


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## VickiQ (May 10, 2008)

Bucky- I also would like to extend my sympathy to all of you. The poor little guy is so young to have to deal with grief so soon.There is no easy way. Just  hold him close answer his questions honestly as you can-even if the answer is I don't know and let all the tears flow.Let the grief run it's course but, don't forget to remember and celebrate Doodie's time with your family.My love and lots of energy to your whole family, Vicki


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## Katie H (May 10, 2008)

Oh, bucky.  This makes my heart heavy.  Buck and I know how much it hurts to lose a furry family member.  You've been given some wonderful advice and I don't think I could add much more to it.

You all will just have to grieve and cry together.  Maybe you could go to the toy/department store and buy him a stuffed "Doodie" to love and talk to.  It's amazing how beautiful some of the stuffed kitties are these days.

Buck and I are holding you all close and sending big, loving hugs.


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## JoAnn L. (May 10, 2008)

buckytom: I am so sorry. Sending loving thoughts to your little boy.


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## miniman (May 10, 2008)

It is hard - I just told my sons the truth when our cat was run over, I think Jonathan was 4/5 and Nicholas 6/7. They were sad for a while and didn't want to talk. I made myself available, but they mainly dealt with themselves, with lots of cuddles in between. 

They were a bit older when first my grandfather & then my grandmother dies, whom they had been very close, they struggled more but came through in the end.


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## auntdot (May 10, 2008)

Sorry Bucky, explaining death to kids, particularly very young ones, is tough.  Since we as adults don't have a good grasp upon it ourselves.

At four, and I went through it at that age with a dog called Petie, I would not get too complicated.  Explain that the pet was sick and went to a better place.  It might be easier if you had the vet euthanize but that is your call certainly. Answer the questions and see where it goes.  

Let the child lead the conversation. 

That is all I can offer.


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## kitchenelf (May 10, 2008)

Bucky - there is no doubt in my mind that the right words will come.  Wow - we have quite a group of people here, don't we?  We pull together when one of our own is hurting.  You've gotten some good advice here and, like I said, I know you will know what to say because you are a good man and a good father.

My thoughts and prayers are going out to your son and you...and doodie.


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## Barbara L (May 10, 2008)

You've gotten some good advice.  My advice is for afterwards.  It helped my daughter to do something to memorialize her favorite cat.  She made a special grave marker for him (he was buried in the back yard).  She also kept a picture of Hawney and herself on her wall.

Fortunately children are very resilient.

Barbara


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## texasgirl (May 10, 2008)

I sure don't have anything to add to what everyone has told you. It's tough. I remember trying to explain to my youngest about my mom, he was 4 then. He cried, but, I think that was because his big brother, he used to idolize him, was crying. When they are that young, you just do the best you can in telling them what you feel they will understand and be able to handle. Bless you BT for caring enough to worry about it!! Some guys just say, it's an animal, get over it. DH used to be that way, but, not anymore!!


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## kadesma (May 10, 2008)

Bucky,
I had to deal with this many times and each child and each situation was different..My Cade, new my little dog Maggie was old and ill..On the day we had her  put down, he new she had died, but his mom brought him to be with me when we took her to the vet for cremation..He got in the car and asked me was that Mags I was holding in the blanket yes I said..He asked as he pointed up is she up there with Bompa and Nana and Guiness..Yes, Ma, will Guiness play with her..I told him yes and Bompa had a dog cookie for her and Nana was going to let her sleep in her lap..  He reached over patted the blanket  and said I'll miss you Maggs and then Okay then Ma,I will only cry a little cuz you are sad and Ma, yes Cade, can I spend the night to keep you company?  See Bucky, he was only just turning 6 and he accepted because he believed that Maggie was not alone and scared...Your little guy has you and his mommy and he loves you above all else..Give him a vision of a beautiful sun filled place with people who loved the cat and other animals to play with..Comfort for kitty and your son will feel the love and warmth.
kadesma, Mrs talky sends a hug.


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## buckytom (May 10, 2008)

thanks again everyone. 

the race home for dinner tonight was just as crazed, but much less joyful than usual. dw is really broken up about doodie. it's hard to see our cat who was once the tough guy, the matriarch of our pride reduced to her current self. she is/was a remarkable little being. the kind of cat even dog lovers would like. not aloof or snobby, ever, but playful and quick and powerful in a way that made you notice. she could make a face that let you know the game was on: her brilliant green eyes would sink deeply into her intimidating, furrowed brow, and her left paw would be as ready as a gunslinger's twitchy hand. 
but the second you stopped playing, she would become a big lover.

she was affectionate at any time you asked, and a lot of times you didn't. she wasn't a normal cat by any means.

we weren't sure if she could get out of her bed tonight, but i found her in the kitchen by her water bowl. so i grabbed the bowl of tuna that dw put by her bed, and she had a little. that gave me a bit of encouragement that she may make it through tomorrow. i really hope she doesn't go on mother's day.
if she does make it to monday, i'll have to start thinking about playing god. 


ok, well, thank you all. i can't say that enough. elfie's right.

when i get home tonight, i'm going to lay on the couch and put her on my chest, with her forehead tucked under my chin one last time.


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## Constance (May 10, 2008)

Bless your hearts.


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## DawnT (May 10, 2008)

I'm sorry for the pain you are in and the hurt you feel over the future pain of your son.  Know that my prayers are with you and I know you will find the right words of comfort for him and the rest of your family. Again, sorry for your pain.  Dawn


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## LEFSElover (May 10, 2008)

buckytom said:


> when i get home tonight, i'm going to lay on the couch and put her on my chest, with her forehead tucked under my chin one last time.


 Gad, that's tough.  Stroke her for all of us Bucky...

Well Bucky, this is a hard one.
Little ones don't understand that certain living things are finite.
It's God's creature and He has the last word or answer on how long any of us or our loving pets will be here on this earth.
Do a sweet ceremony.
Say a good bye prayer with him about your pet.
I think it may affect him for a while Bucky, but in the long run, and probably soon, he'll be back to normal.  That's just my thought on it.
Hope he's okay.
You're a good daddy, you'll handle it perfectly Bucky.


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## suziquzie (May 11, 2008)

Sorry I missed this one BT. 
Explaining to my 4yo why we were giving away our cat was hard enough, I dont know that saying he just wasn't alive anymore would be any easier. 
I hope everything went ok and the litle guy is ok. They bounce back faster than you would ever believe. Better to tell him than hide it, that hurts them worse.


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## pdswife (May 11, 2008)

Good luck Bucky.  I'm sure you handled it perfectly.


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## buckytom (May 11, 2008)

one more thank you.

well, we made it through today, thankfully. it broke my heart to see dw crying all day. when our son asked what was wrong, we just kept answering that we were sad that doodie was very sick. as far as explaining it all to him, well, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

when i brought doodie upstairs to lay on the bed with us this morning, my boy hugged her gently and said he hoped she feels better soon, and that he loved her. 

as if i needed another reminder of how precious life is.

at least we're getting a chance to say goodbye. the only thing worse than death is not being able to do that.


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## mikki (May 12, 2008)

BT- sorry to hear about your kitty. Death is hard for anyone to understand, but I think children deal with it better than adults due to the fact that they still have a childs imagination.  Children understand that the pet or person is not comming back, but they make their own story of why, and that is what helps them cope with the loss. Just be there for your little guy when he needs a hug or just needs to talk about his kitty. The hardest thing to do is see your child in pain and know you can't stop it. Another thing is letting him see your upset and sad. Let him know it's alright to cry and it's alright not to cry. I'm glad your getting a chance to say goodbye and let your kitty know how much it is loved. I do love the star idea for a young child I think that is brilliant. take care. (((((((((((buckytom)))))))))))))


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## GotGarlic (May 12, 2008)

Bucky, I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. DH and I just went through this last fall, although we don't have children. We now have three cats buried in our back yard. I know this is a really tough time for you, but I know you and your family will get through it. Take care.


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## jkath (May 12, 2008)

Just want to let you know I'm sending you a hug for having to be the stoic man in all of this with your kitty. I know your boy is watching your every move and is learning by your example how to be a good guy, even when it is difficult.


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## Fisher's Mom (May 12, 2008)

Awww, BT, this is so sad. Not only are you and your wife having to watch Doodie slip away, you have to figure out how to help your boy handle it. 

I've dealt with this quite a few times over the years and the only thing I can say is there is no one-size-fits-all way to explain it. All the advice has been very good so think about your son's personality and go from there.

My oldest daughter had a very rough time with the concept of euthanasia for a very old pet. She was about your son's age and expressed worry every time one of the younger pets got sick or went to the vet for a couple of years. She was convinced that's where they kill animals. Of course, she's OK now and understands.

Fisher had the misfortune of having a beloved older pet and his grandfather die when he was 2 1/2. He was very verbal even then and the next couple of years brought many questions about how old is "old"? (In reference to a loved one getting old and dying.) Then later, he was worried that because all living things eventually die, we would all die and leave him alone. Thankfully, we were patient and answered the same questions over and over and now at 5, he has a good handle on how things work and isn't worried. He was very sad when my brother died but it didn't cause him anxiety because he has a pretty good understanding of death now.

Then I've had other children who just accepted death as a very sad thing but didn't seem to worry much about it later. Anyway, just be ready to reassure your boy for as long as it takes if he has a really rough time with this. You're such a good and tender father that I know you'll be able to help him through this. I'll be thinking about ya'll.


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## corazon (May 12, 2008)

Sending you and your family many hugs.  I'm afraid we might be going through this in the next year too.

As always, you are a wonderful father.  I'm sure he will ask many questions, and I say just be honest with him but sensitive.  

Thinking of all of you.


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## LPBeier (May 12, 2008)

Dear BuckyTom,

I am so sorry for your situation.  I know how hard it is to lose a pet when you are an adult, but to explain it to a child is beyond words.  This is where not being a real parent shows.  I will pray for you and your wife to have the right words, and for your son to have that awesome understanding that seems to only come with childhood.  Take care.


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## Bilby (May 12, 2008)

Gee BT, I knew your cat was not well but I didn't realise just how bad things were.  I am so sorry to read this thread and am eating thru the tissues as I do.  Sorry also that I didn't log on sooner to read this.  I hope you get to be with her when she goes.  Heartfelt sympathies to you and yours.

The only time I have had to explain death to a toddler was when I was about 20 and my neighbour's kid was with me when I had to bury a dead dove that one of my cats had caught.  I was just straight with him and he understood it, or at least seemed to.   A couple of months later, he and his family relocated to the other side of the country and made it a camping trip by car.  His parents couldn't understand why each time they dug a latrine he would ask about digging up doves!

What I have experienced and is possibly true for your son as well, is the thought of the absence is worse than the concept of death itself. So my limited advice to you would be to deal with it as two different subjects.

Hope she goes peacefully with you.


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## buckytom (May 19, 2008)

just a quick update: after speaking to a few vets, we decided to begin to give doodie sub-cutaneous fluids to help her be a little more comfortable in her final days. that wasn't fun. i hate needles, and hope to never have to stab anyone or anything ever again.

she lasted a week, but by saturday afternoon we saw that she was no longer able to absorb the fluids. the sign we dreaded.

so dw spent saturday night with her, and i sat with her today, holding her for hours through a couple of seizures before i finally had to take her to have her put down. 

she slipped away about 6 o'clock tonight, just after the first sedative was introduced. the vet agreed that from my descriptions, she was unaware of what was happening and would not have lived much longer. we had intervened just in time to spare her the painful end.

tomorrow, i have to explain this to my boy. i am truely grateful for all of your words and advice, and thank you all for your support.


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## suziquzie (May 19, 2008)

Sorry to hear it was such a bad weekend Tom, I hope your little guy wont take it too hard for too long.


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## texasgirl (May 19, 2008)

Oh BT, I'm so sorry!!
I'm am sure that had you and your wife not been there for her, she would not have gone so peacefully. You gave her a loving home to grow in and you should feel good about that. Your boy will rebound. Young ones always do. Bless you!!


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## GB (May 19, 2008)

I am so sorry Bucky!!!


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## kitchenelf (May 19, 2008)

Oh bucky - I'm all choked up.  Just have a good cry with him and make him feel as secure as you can.  Hugs to DW too.


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## Andy M. (May 19, 2008)

Sorry to hear of your loss, BT.  Our thoughts are with you guys.


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## pdswife (May 19, 2008)

I'm sorry Bucky.... it's so sad.


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## Fisher's Mom (May 19, 2008)

I'm so sorry for your loss, bt. It sounds like her last few days were bittersweet. I'm glad ya'll knew when it was time to let her go so you were able to spare her any suffering, but I know how hard it must have been for both of you. I hope your son isn't too heartbroken and that you're all able to get past the sadness soon so that you can remember all the wonderful times you had with your dear old girl. Hugs to all 3 of you.
Terry


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## JoAnn L. (May 19, 2008)

buckytom: Please give your little guy a hug from all of us here at DC and tell him how sorry we all are.


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## LPBeier (May 19, 2008)

Dear BuckyT,
I too am so sorry for your loss and my prayers are with you and your wife and son. By now (your time) you have probably already told your son and my heart goes out to both of you.  But with a good Dad like you, I know he will get through this, just like you got your beloved cat through the last days of her life.


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## babetoo (May 19, 2008)

it is always hard to lose a dear friend. hope u can explain to son in a manner he can understand.


babe


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## ronjohn55 (May 19, 2008)

Sorry to hear about this BT.


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## stassie (May 19, 2008)

I remember how heartbroken I was when pets I had as a child died. If it's any comfort, I can see now that their deaths helped to understand the basics of mortality very early on in the piece - and gave me skills to cope with other deaths later in life. 

Will be thinking of your wee lad.


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## middie (May 19, 2008)

Aww Bucky I'm sorry.  ((( Hugs ))) 
to you all. I hope the little guy
takes it better than we think.


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## corazon (May 19, 2008)

My warmest condolences Tom. Sending you all hugs.


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## Katie H (May 19, 2008)

Oh, bucky, sorry to hear your news.  Buck and I can understand.  We've gone through a similar thing with one of our kitties.  Let the tears flow and make sure there are plenty of hugs all around.  This, too, shall pass.  Your kitty knew you loved her.


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## Adillo303 (May 19, 2008)

BT - I am sorry to hear about your loss. When my favorite cat died, her last day or so, she did everything she had always liked, sat on my lap and purred, layed in the sun in the flower bed. Spent a few more hours with us and then literally fell over dead. 

I misser, as I am sure that you do. You did the right thing and I know it is hard.

AC


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## Buck (May 19, 2008)

I'm  with you bucky.   Bless  you.


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## VickiQ (May 19, 2008)

Hugs for the whole Buckytom family and hoping you find comfort soon in knowing that you gave your ((Doodie))) a very loving end.May your memories bring smiles through your tears.Sending you lots of love and energy, Vicki


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## kadesma (May 19, 2008)

BT,
I send you and the little guy hugs and good thoughts and prayers..I know you all are hurting now..I wish there were more I could do for you and the family..I do know your son will be comforted by you and your wife..Cling together that helps sooth the pain..and eases all the unhappiness..
kadesma


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## Corey123 (May 19, 2008)

So sorry, Bucky. I was holding out hope that she would make it, but it appeared that the pain & suffering might have been worst. 

Please accept my condolenses during this most difficult time, and I hope that your son can be consoled as well.


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## Bilby (May 20, 2008)

BT - can't say it enough how sorry I am for the loss of your beloved cat nor for having to watch her suffer.  Thinking of you all.


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## Loprraine (May 20, 2008)

I was so sorry to read your post, Bucky.


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## Alix (May 20, 2008)

I'm so sorry buckytom. My heart aches for you and Ryan.


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## buckytom (May 20, 2008)

thanks everyone.

i keep thinking of her little face, and kissing her goodbye. i'm going to miss her purr, and her constant head-butting affection. especially when we put our son to bed.

i hope her spirit is ok, and in a happy place.


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## Barbara L (May 20, 2008)

I know what you mean buckytom.  I have gone through the same thing with the loss of Mr. Frodo a couple weeks ago.  I didn't have to go through the heartbreak of telling my child about it though.  I don't envy you that.

One of our outside cats (they are both female, and are both scared to death of us*) had kittens a couple months ago.  I finally saw the babies the other day and managed to get them (they weren't happy!) and bring them in.  They hide behind the furniture most of the time, and they hiss every time I reach for them, but once I am holding them they seem to like being held and petted.  One is definitely a male but I'm not sure about the wigglier of the two.  Even though they don't look anything like him, I am sure they are Mr. Frodo's children.  They are orange tabbies like their mom.  Having them has helped ease the loss of Mr. Frodo somewhat.

Barbara
*P.S. It's funny--our two female cats are scared of us, but they will come in the house to eat (one more than the other).  The orange one hasn't come in much since we got Cubbie, but the calico (Scarlett O'Hairy) comes in just long enough to eat and then leave (the neighbors put food out so they get most of their food there).  When Mr. Frodo was alive, she would lay at my feet with him, but if I tried to touch her she would run.


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## LadyCook61 (May 20, 2008)

BuckyTom, my heart goes out to you and your family .  I know what is like to lose a beloved furbaby.  Also know how it is having to give Sub Q's , I had to do that for 3 cats, (now gone) 
((hugs))
LadyCook


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