# Helping the Bus Boy/Server in a Restaurant



## Andy M. (Feb 12, 2008)

What's your opinion on this?

You (as part of a dinner party of two or more) are having dinner at a restaurant and you are between courses.  Do you leave all the empty dishes where they are or do you collect and/or stack them to make the bus boy's or server's cleanup easier?

We ate out numerous times while on vacation the past two weeks and I observed this behavior and it has become a matter of curiosity.

What do you do?


----------



## suziquzie (Feb 12, 2008)

I move them to the end of the table just because I dont like people reaching in next to me, between the person I am sitting next to and myself. I guess I have personal space issues. That and strange armpits in my face.....
I also tend to move them when the kids are with us because I clean up most of thier mess before the poor wait person / bus boy has to do it.


----------



## corazon (Feb 12, 2008)

Being that we have 2 young boys, they produce a huge amount of mess.  I usually try and collect it all on to one plate.  Usually lots of used napkins and chunks of food.

If I like our service or notice that they are really busy, I'll stack up the plates to help them out.

After waiting tables for a few years, I got a little grossed out by touching people's used napkins and stuff like that. So at the least, I put those on my plate for an easy trash dump.


----------



## BreezyCooking (Feb 12, 2008)

No kids in our party, but we usually just add the flotsam & jetsam (paper goods, etc.) to the plates & leave them where they sit, only because we've found wait staff & bussers seem to usually have their own methods as to how they like to stack & carry things.


----------



## middie (Feb 12, 2008)

I will stack the plates and put the silverware and napkins ontop.


----------



## miniman (Feb 12, 2008)

We usually stack the same size dishes - sometimes there are any number of different size plates. I will also pass things to the server to help them.


----------



## Maverick2272 (Feb 12, 2008)

We stack them and clean up any mess on the table, which can be a lot with three kids


----------



## krichardson (Feb 12, 2008)

I usually resist the urge to stack plates, as when I was a waitress I much prefered to do this myself. It's much easier to stack the dishes in my hands one at a time than to try to pick up a heavy stack of dishes that may not be stacked evenly. I will hand whomever the dishes though if it looks like that would help them.


----------



## redkitty (Feb 12, 2008)

I always put my dirty napkin on top of my plate but we don't have kids so it's usually just the two of us, only two plates!  If we are with a group I do stack the plates on top of each other to make it easier to serve our next course.  I also never gave it much thought until now, it's just something I do!


----------



## plumies (Feb 12, 2008)

It depends what restaurant I'm at. But I typically will stack like dishes together. At the least, I move them closer together so the staff doesn't have to reach so far by leaning their bodies across me. I also have a tendency to clean my area after I've eaten.

I once had a server asked me if I was in the food industry since I stacked up all our plates.  I said no, just upbringing.  She chuckled and said my mother raised me properly.


----------



## kitchenelf (Feb 12, 2008)

My husband will stack like pieces together then stack largest to smallest with silverware wherever it is stable.  Now, if we are at a REALLY nice restaurant he doesn't do that to an extreme.  He might stack our salad plates together, they get removed, and he might stack our dinner plates together, etc.

Side Note - he leaves his dishes on the counter at home right above the EMPTY dishwasher!   He leaves an empty can of Coke on the counter instead of throwing it away


----------



## GB (Feb 12, 2008)

I usually do not do anything other than put my napkin on top of my plate, but every once in a while I might do a little stacking. I always try to collect the little bits of trash (straw wrapper, empty butter thing, etc.) and put those on a plate or in one pile.


----------



## Barbara L (Feb 12, 2008)

We always move what we are done with to a corner we aren't using.  Some pick them up as we eat, but if they don't, we stack like-sized things together, then bowls on plates, etc.  There just isn't enough room on most of the tables to not stack them.  If the people at the table next to us have gone and there are still uncollected dishes, we sometimes will put our plates there (if it is not a long reach--we don't get up to do that).  The fanciest place we can afford (and that, rarely) is O'Charley's, so I don't know what we would do at a really fancy place.  

Barbara


----------



## pdswife (Feb 12, 2008)

I move them to the end of the table so they are easier to reach.  I don't like the wait staff
reaching over me to get them.


----------



## Maverick2272 (Feb 12, 2008)

kitchenelf said:


> My husband will stack like pieces together then stack largest to smallest with silverware wherever it is stable.  Now, if we are at a REALLY nice restaurant he doesn't do that to an extreme.  He might stack our salad plates together, they get removed, and he might stack our dinner plates together, etc.
> 
> Side Note - he leaves his dishes on the counter at home right above the EMPTY dishwasher!   He leaves an empty can of Coke on the counter instead of throwing it away



Guilty! Drives her nuts, lol.


----------



## mikki (Feb 12, 2008)

When kid were little I would scrape all the leftover scraps an one plate, then stack them with the scrap one on top, when I was a waitress I use to hate reaching over people to get there dishes, especially if the napkin was on top. I was always afraid someting would fall aff the plate and onto the guest. So I try to make sure everything is stable including napkins.


----------



## Fisher's Mom (Feb 12, 2008)

I always scrape and stack our plates and clean up any messes when we go out. I think it's the mom in me!


----------



## LadyCook61 (Feb 12, 2008)

Side Note - he leaves his dishes on the counter at home right above the EMPTY dishwasher!  He leaves an empty can of Coke on the counter instead of throwing it away [/quote]

my hubby uses paper plates and leaves them all over the place.   Also toothpicks, I find them everywhere.


----------



## VeraBlue (Feb 12, 2008)

Leave them where they lie.  Part of the reason you dine out is so you don't have to do the dishes.  Bus/wait staff people are trained to come in quietly and remove objects with as little intrusion to your meal as possible.  Diners at nearby tables aren't necessarily interested in seeing your party scraping and clanging dishes, either.  If you appreciate the job the bus staff is doing, tip them seperately.

By the way, don't leave your napkin on your plate.  It makes it impossible for the bus staff to see what's beneath the napkin without removing the napkin.  Usually, dirty linens are handled seperately.  If they remove the napkin, chances are very good that something will be flung onto the table or your lap.


----------



## Bean208 (Feb 12, 2008)

I will typically stack my bread plate and any trash onto my plate.  When I was waiting tables I always appreciated when the customers stacked thier plates for me.


----------



## pacanis (Feb 12, 2008)

Andy M. said:


> What's your opinion on this?
> 
> You (as part of a dinner party of two or more) are having dinner at a restaurant and you are between courses. Do you leave all the empty dishes where they are or do you collect and/or stack them to make the bus boy's or server's cleanup easier?
> 
> ...


 
Which behavior did you observe, leaving them as is or stacking them... or both?
I've always let them do their job if they are doing it in a timely manner.  If they aren't I will move the plates out of my way, but I wouldn't say I've stacked everyone's dishes up or made their job easier....


----------



## Constance (Feb 12, 2008)

Andy M. said:


> What's your opinion on this?
> 
> You (as part of a dinner party of two or more) are having dinner at a restaurant and you are between courses.  Do you leave all the empty dishes where they are or do you collect and/or stack them to make the bus boy's or server's cleanup easier?
> 
> ...




Forgive me, but I was raised by Emily Post's Etiquette book.

When you are finished with your meal, you lay your knife and fork side by side on your plate, which signals the waiter that you are done.
It is not proper to stack plates or move them around. That is his job. 

You are also not supposed to say, "Thank you," when he/she brings you something. You thank him by leaving him a good tip.

Neither should you or he strike up a conversation. His job is to give you the best possible service while remaining as invisible as possible. 

So, La ti da.


----------



## GB (Feb 12, 2008)

Constance said:


> When you are finished with your meal, you lay your knife and fork side by side on your plate, which signals the waiter that you are done.


I was taught to place my fork and knife at 5 o'clock on the plate for the same reason.


----------



## darlenemt08 (Feb 12, 2008)

We sometimes stack up the same-size plates and add the silverware on top.  We then put near the edge of the table or, if our siblings & their kids are together, we put the dishes in the middle of table and put the silverware on top.  We also put our napkins on top, if we're done with them.  We like to make it a little easier for the waiters/waitresses.  I used to waitress a little at our small-town cafe...one of a few jobs I did there besides being a cook.  I didn't mind when people stacked their dishes together for me.  It just made it a little easier for me to pick up.  I'm short and can't reach around or over people too well sometimes.  I appreciated any sort of help.  The regular customers were great and knew which waiters/waitresses could do whatever.

Darlene


----------



## Katie H (Feb 12, 2008)

Don't do any stacking here.  Just push the plates to the outside edge of the table so we can converse.  I, too, place my silverware at the 5 o'clock position to  indicate that I'm done with that plate/dish.

I was also taught that, to signal that I'm done with the whole  meal, I should lightly fold my napkin and place it at  the left edge of my  plate.


----------



## Andy M. (Feb 12, 2008)

pacanis said:


> Which behavior did you observe, leaving them as is or stacking them... or both?...


 

Left to my own devices, I would not move any dishes around.  First of all, I don't care to.  Also, I see that some servers have a very specific process for laying out the dishes up their arm so they can clear an entire table.  Any stacking would interfere with that process.

Connie, the era of 'invisible' help/servants is past.  I think times have changed to become more relaxed and less formal.  Typically, restaurant servers try to be friendly through conversation with their guests to encourage tipping.


----------



## Barbara L (Feb 12, 2008)

Constance said:


> ...You are also not supposed to say, "Thank you," when he/she brings you something. You thank him by leaving him a good tip...


LOL  There is no way I'm *not* going to say "Thank you" when anyone brings me something.  For me, to not thank someone is to ignore the fact that they are a human being, doing me a service.  



			
				Constance said:
			
		

> ...Neither should you or he strike up a conversation. His job is to give you the best possible service while remaining as invisible as possible...


We are usually seated at the "hide them so no one has to see them" seats (we're both fat) near the kitchen, at some of the places we go (of course they don't say that), but it works out since we are pretty friendly people.  James almost always starts up a conversation with our server (if they are really busy he holds back a little), and they will stay and talk as long as they can get away with it.  They usually love chatting with us, and we always get great service because we are so friendly (and they, in turn, always get a great tip).

Barbara


----------



## Barbara L (Feb 12, 2008)

Andy M. said:


> Left to my own devices, I would not move any dishes around.


Really the only reason we move ours sometimes is because they are just in the way.  

Barbara


----------



## QSis (Feb 12, 2008)

Constance said:


> You are also not supposed to say, "Thank you," when he/she brings you something.


 
Wow, really?  Holey moley, I've been using poor etiquette all these years!! 

This is one of my mother's favorite rants: she goes out for informal breakfasts or lunches with a group of former colleagues (all teachers, BTW) and she is the only one out of 8 people who says "thank you" to the servers.   Makes mom crazy!

I guess I can see not saying thank you in fancy restaurants where there is a different server for every piece of cutlery and glass.  But I never go to those places.

It doesn't feel right to me NOT to say "thank you". I'm a good tipper, too.

What do other wait people, past and present, say about this?  Would you rather we DON'T say "thank you"????

Lee


----------



## Fisher's Mom (Feb 12, 2008)

Maybe we're talking about different types of restaurants? I always say Thanks when my server brings me something and I talk with them, too, if they are chatty. Since I usually have kids with me, I make it a point to "police" my table so that they don't groan when they see me the next time. (I always leave a generous tip too unless the service is just terrible.) It seems to work because we are always treated like valued customers in my neighborhood restaurants. But these are not expensive or exclusive restaurants - just neighborhood, family-style places.


----------



## sattie (Feb 12, 2008)

I have always stacked my plates, dishes, trash and what not for easy removal.  Partly for me, partly for the person clearing the table.  I like making things easier for the next person, no matter who they are.


----------



## jpmcgrew (Feb 12, 2008)

If it's nice place I don't stack at a casual place I stack just because it's my nature to organize.


----------



## gawillow (Feb 12, 2008)

I waited tables for a number of years. I automatically stack plates according to size with napkins on top and silverware in a glass.


----------



## Jeff G. (Feb 12, 2008)

I will stack them as it reduces their interference with my meal. The longer they are there, the more the interruption..


----------



## gawillow (Feb 13, 2008)

Constance said:


> Forgive me, but I was raised by Emily Post's Etiquette book.
> 
> ....You are also not supposed to say, "Thank you," when he/she brings you something. You thank him by leaving him a good tip.
> 
> ...



Obviously, Emily Post never visited a small diner, or the South, where good manners means that you say "Thank You" for everything. Good service means treating your server as a person. He or she is not "invisible."


----------



## Barbara L (Feb 13, 2008)

I asked my daughter her thoughts on this.  She was a server for years (managed part of that time).  She said she didn't mind if they stacked them, as long as they were easy to carry away from the table.  Even though etiquette says to put your silverware on the plate when you are done, Nancy said there is nothing grosser than having to pick silverware up out of half-eaten food!  She said it was often easier if the plates were at the edge of the table, so she could take them without interrupting their conversation.  Nancy also added that you should not ask 5 other people for something right after you have asked your server.  She said give it a couple minutes.  She has brought things to people's tables, only to find out they had already gotten a few of them!  Finally, she said she loved talking to her customers.  She had a lot of return customers, and I know that when she quit when she was pregnant with her second baby, they were really sad to see her go.  

Barbara


----------



## Bilby (Feb 13, 2008)

My cutlery at 5 o'clock, napkin on bread plate (often where it originated from), no stacking (except possibly for incidental little plates/bowls like for a sauce or olives), leave in front of me but pushed towards the centre a bit, with share plates pushed towards the edge of the table to signify its empty and needs removing.  I thank everyone for everything and always try to make pleasantries with the staff, and smile a lot, unless they have already proved really incompetent or rude.  Annoys me (although only slightly) when patrons try stacking at my table unless we are trying to make more room for something, although I do understand it with little kids.  I will pass waitstaff empty plates to help them though but they should work out the best method for them and at some restaurants, it would be considered extremely poor taste for either the waitstaff or the patron to stack the plates, and not just silver service establishments.


----------



## lyndalou (Feb 13, 2008)

I don't scrape and stack. I do say thank you, and I do not put my napkin on top of the plate.


----------



## Uncle Bob (Feb 13, 2008)

Last night we ate out to celebrate my daughter's birthday/Valentines. The only thing we stacked were some small B&B plates. We were seated at a 4-Top and the server had plenty of room to bus the table after each course. We did move the bowl/plate etc. to the (each person's) corner of table to make it easier for the waiter. 

Last time out were seated in a two sided cubicle of sorts. (I hated it) In this situation the server/busser could not reach two people at the table. They had to hand the waiter everything, and the waiter had to hand them their courses. The only other recourse would have been the waiter laying his body across the table while reaching across/in front of the rest of us. (I'll never go back)

So my answer is, it depends on the situation as to how much help I give a server. In general I don't like "stacking" for the server. I prefer to just move the dish to side or corner of the table and let them do their job the way they were trained (?) to do.


----------



## pacanis (Feb 13, 2008)

Whether I'm eating at a cloth napkin or a paper napkin restaurant, I always leave the napkin on my lap until I stand up to leave.  I figure if it gets taken away with the plates, that's when I'll probably need it most....


----------



## Foodfiend (Feb 13, 2008)

My brother and I have always stacked our dishes to make it easier for our server when he/she came around.  They always appreciated it, just like our saying Thank You to our server when he/she brought something or did something (like refilling your tea or water glass), it made them feel like you really appreciated the work/effort to go the extra little mile (even knowing that was part of the service/job).  And I always leave a good tip for good service.  My parents are the same way.  They consider it common courtesy to be nice to your wait staff.


----------



## Constance (Feb 13, 2008)

gawillow said:


> Obviously, Emily Post never visited a small diner, or the South, where good manners means that you say "Thank You" for everything. Good service means treating your server as a person. He or she is not "invisible."



Obviously not. I was telling you what SHE said. I usually do say "Thank You". 

However, once the order is taken, a good server SHOULD be invisible. I do not go to a restaurant to visit with the employees, and I find an overly talkative server quite annoying, no matter where I am. A friendly, "Hello, and how are you today," is quite sufficient. 

That doesn't mean that servers aren't people...it just means that they are there to serve, and not gab.


----------



## buckytom (Feb 13, 2008)

i like to snap my fingers and shout c'mere boy" when i need the dishes bussed, and a bucket brought to the table with a wafer thin mint.

j/k.

it depends on what type of restaurant i'm in, and the "expected" level of service. if there's one waiter who's also bussing his own tables in a family type restaurant, we stack dishes to help out.

if we're in a higher end joint with (what should be) ample service, i will politely sit back a little to allow the dishes to be taken away. no stacking.


----------



## ella/TO (Feb 13, 2008)

I go along with VeraBlue 100%. When I go out to "dine".....not snack or fast food, I sit back like a lady and let the servers etc. do all the work. That's part of what I'm paying for in a nice restaurant.


----------



## Fisher's Mom (Feb 13, 2008)

buckytom said:


> i like to snap my fingers and shout c'mere boy" when i need the dishes bussed, and a bucket brought to the table with a wafer thin mint.


Hey BT, I _thought_ I saw you the other night. You were the guy with the bucket on his head, right?


----------



## JillBurgh (Feb 13, 2008)

I'm afraid I won't solve the issue, but I will chime in. My best friend and I have been in the service industry for over a decade each. It doesn't phase me one way or the other if someone stacks. As long as there is no "buried" cutlery that I have to dig out of mashed potatoes, as mentioned earlier. 

My friend, though, hates it BIG time. She thinks it is super offensive. Like saying that she's not getting to it quick enough. It's the server's job (in her opinion) to notice when people are done and take stuff away without them having time to think of stacking.

I will admit: Everywhere I've worked has taught the proper service ettiquette of waiting for the last person at the table to finish eating before we are allowed to clear the table. So that the last diner doesn't feel pressured. So when people start stacking, it DOES interrupt the natural flow of service. Servers should never stack ON the table, so you shouldn't either, I guess. We really do have a system, I promise... well maybe not ALL of us, but if your server was trained well, he/she should follow proper "Steps of Service."


----------



## Barbara L (Feb 13, 2008)

JillBurgh said:


> I will admit: Everywhere I've worked has taught the proper service ettiquette of waiting for the last person at the table to finish eating before we are allowed to clear the table. So that the last diner doesn't feel pressured. So when people start stacking, it DOES interrupt the natural flow of service. Servers should never stack ON the table, so you shouldn't either, I guess. We really do have a system, I promise... well maybe not ALL of us, but if your server was trained well, he/she should follow proper "Steps of Service."


That's interesting! Thanks. I think that, in a way, we have changed as a society though, and rather than feel rushed by having dishes removed, we (and I am just speaking generally, not about everyone) kind of like things to move along. A little off topic, but about being rushed--I have noticed a difference in different areas of the country when it comes to how long a group stays at the table. Here, in South Carolina, many people seem to sit, eat, and get out. I am from California, as are a few of my friends here, and James is from Iowa. We are used to sitting and talking while we eat, and then talking (and sipping a drink) for awhile when we are finished (unless the restaurant is extremely busy and needs the table, but we still don't let ourselves be rushed through the meal). I guess it is kind of a hold-over from sitting around the table at home, sharing about our day. I guess some people view the dinner table as a place just to nourish their bodies and others see it as a place to nourish their bodies and their minds and souls. 

Barbara


----------



## VeraBlue (Feb 13, 2008)

Constance said:


> Obviously not. I was telling you what SHE said. I usually do say "Thank You".
> 
> However, once the order is taken, a good server SHOULD be invisible. I do not go to a restaurant to visit with the employees, and I find an overly talkative server quite annoying, no matter where I am. A friendly, "Hello, and how are you today," is quite sufficient.
> 
> That doesn't mean that servers aren't people...it just means that they are there to serve, and not gab.


 
I agree completely.  A dining out experience is a special time, regardless if you are at a $ restaurant or a $$$$ place.  I'm there to speak with my company, not the staff.  Regardless of the environment, staff will earn a bigger tip if my food is good and the service is great.  To me, great service doesn't mean being my buddy, it means fading away so I can enjoy the reason I'm out.  

Conversely, the reason I don't stack plates is similar to the reason I don't bag my order at the supermarket.  I've yet to see waitstaff or cashiers show up at my job to help me...  If I want to be helpful, I'll give my leftovers to one of the people I encounter sleeping in the subway.


----------



## Fisher's Mom (Feb 13, 2008)

This is really interesting, Barbara. I don't think there is a right or wrong in anyone's approach - just illustrates how different we all are. Maybe it extends to lots of areas of service. Do you return your basket to the front of the store or the designated area in the parking lot? Do you return items you decide not to purchase to the area where you got them?


----------



## Barbara L (Feb 13, 2008)

Fisher's Mom said:


> Maybe it extends to lots of areas of service. Do you return your basket to the front of the store or the designated area in the parking lot? Do you return items you decide not to purchase to the area where you got them?


LOL If they have a place for the carts I do put it there, unless the front of the store is closer.  The only time I will leave my cart sitting in the parking lot is if there are already carts there (and then I usually put them together).  Yeah, I'm one of the ones who will go all the way back to the remotest corner of the store to put something back where it belongs, unless I am in line when I make that decision, and then I will let the cashier know that I don't want it and give it to her/him.  I hate it when people just shove things any old place--especially when it is something that needs to be refrigerated or frozen.  That is just so inconsiderate.  This reminded me of a movie I saw years ago.  A teenaged newlywed was shopping and didn't want anyone to see how poor they were.  She filled her cart with all kinds of expensive foods, to surround the few meager items she was going to buy.  When she was done, she took out what she was buying, hid the cart behind a display, and hurried to the checkout counter!

Barbara


----------



## buckytom (Feb 13, 2008)

note to self: never get behind vb at the supermarket check outs... (he hee)


----------



## Barbara L (Feb 13, 2008)

buckytom said:


> note to self: never get behind vb at the supermarket check outs... (he hee)


 I seriously almost had a T-shirt made for my friend that said, "Get behind me in line at your own risk!"  Sometimes it is her fault, sometimes it is the cashier's fault, and sometimes something just malfunctions, but the line almost always stops when she is there!

Barbara


----------



## buckytom (Feb 13, 2008)

lol, barbara.

from the wisdom of apu: get in line behind pathetic single men. only cash, no chit chat...


----------



## babetoo (Feb 13, 2008)

*great joke*



buckytom said:


> i like to snap my fingers and shout c'mere boy" when i need the dishes bussed, and a bucket brought to the table with a wafer thi
> 
> it depends on what type of restaurant i'm in, and the "expected" level of service. if there's one waiter who's also bussing his own tables in a family type restaurant, we stack dishes to help out.
> 
> if we're in a higher end joint with (what should be) ample service, i will politely sit back a little to allow the dishes to be taken away. no stacking.


 

wasn't that a great skit.   just one little mint, sir.
sometimes i help and sometimes i don't. don't know what makes the decision.

babe


----------



## SizzlininIN (Feb 14, 2008)

We never finish eating at the same time no matter what course so when eat course is finished we put our dish at the end of the table for the server to whisk away. I too don't like for anyone to reach over me.


----------



## Gossie (Feb 14, 2008)

We're on first name basis with the waiters/waitresses in most of the restaurants around here.  I like it that way.  I feel so comfortable in these places, and it's so nice to be greeted with a GENUINE smile.


----------



## Gossie (Feb 14, 2008)

Barbara L said:


> I hate it when people just shove things any old place--especially when it is something that needs to be refrigerated or frozen.  That is just so inconsiderate.



I agree, but what I hate worse is the person(s) that work at that supermarket and put the said refrigerator/freezer items back in refrigerator/freezer area when the item is warm and it's obvious that it's been away from it's designated area for too long.


----------



## VeraBlue (Feb 14, 2008)

buckytom said:


> note to self: never get behind vb at the supermarket check outs... (he hee)


 
Think about it....I've just spent $200, and placed it all on the belt.  Why on earth would I want to go pick it back up and place it in bags?  Tell me, when you buy a pair of shoes or some cool clothes for your son, do you have to put it into the bags, too??   It's a racket that the general public has fallen for, hook, line and sinker.


----------



## buckytom (Feb 14, 2008)

food is a little different than clothing or toys, imo.

if i've spent the time to pick out the best that i can find of each ingredient, i don't mind helping them get home unblemished. 

it would be nice if they had a competent bagger at each register, but i've seen them jam all kinds of stuff on top of more fragile things. 

food stores themselves make it possible to help out just by making bags available. (while i'm sure they'd say that they're meeting the demands of certain customers who prefer to bag their own, it's probably more about operating cost reduction.)

in a toy or clothing store, i always stand back and let them bag. you pretty much have to.


----------



## kitchenelf (Feb 14, 2008)

I rather enjoy bagging my own groceries when there isn't someone available.  I put like things together and place frozen with other things that could benefit from the cool.  I don't ever get when someone puts leaky raw chicken in with my romaine   I also don't want my grapefruits in the same bag as my tomatoes.  

I don't think there is any right or wrong here - it's just a matter of preference.  I don't see it as a racket - I see it as what I like to do.


----------



## GB (Feb 14, 2008)

I prefer when they bag my groceries, but I also do not mind doing it myself. One things I am seeing more and more is that when they bag for me they put one or two items in each bag. I walk out of the store with 12 bags and 20 items when they could have got it all in 4 or 5 bags without crushing anything or making the bags too heavy. That drives me a bit crazy.


----------



## Andy M. (Feb 14, 2008)

This is still a restaurant thread. 

If you want to post about bagging groceries, please check out that thread.


----------



## GB (Feb 14, 2008)

Oops sorry Andy. I actually thought this WAS the grocery bagging thread


----------



## buckytom (Feb 14, 2008)

lol, me too.

we were just being helpful by stacking the threads...


----------



## Andy M. (Feb 14, 2008)

BT  are those paper or plastic threads?


----------



## Maverick2272 (Feb 14, 2008)

I prefer canvas threads myself...


----------



## purringkitty (Feb 19, 2008)

I'm a pre-busser and it makes my hubby insane but I was a server for many years for part time money in full service restaurants while my boys were growing up and trust me, the server appreciates it, the bus boy does, the dish washer does as they go back to the kitchen stacked according to size and it also helps the server turn her tables more quickly so they tend to step up the service for you just a bit. I'm a huge fan of helping my server and on that note.. 
 I know that many of you are in the business and you understand the importance of tipping, servers survive on that and not the 2.85 they make an hour but it has been my experience that some believe that a 10.00 tip on a 150.00 check is considered very generous yet the server only sees about 4% of that so to tip her 10.00 on a check that large, after shes had to tip out the hostess,the bus boy, and the bartender.. on many occassions she owes money for running that table.... standardized tipping has increased from 15% to 18% for that reason ...
~ pushes her soap box back under the desk ~
just food for thought


----------



## JillBurgh (Feb 19, 2008)

purringkitty said:


> I know that many of you are in the business and you understand the importance of tipping, servers survive on that and not the 2.85 they make an hour but it has been my experience that some believe that a 10.00 tip on a 150.00 check is considered very generous yet the server only sees about 4% of that so to tip her 10.00 on a check that large, after shes had to tip out the hostess,the bus boy, and the bartender.. on many occassions she owes money for running that table.... standardized tipping has increased from 15% to 18% for that reason ...
> ~ pushes her soap box back under the desk ~
> just food for thought


 
Thanks for mentioning that, Kitty. I was thinking about posting a similar comment. It has been my experience that when a person says "I tip well" that means they don't know that they are bad tippers (I'm of course gneralizing here, don't send hate mail).. or they are what we call "lip tippers," all talk: "You were wonderful, what great service. I'm going to tell your manager what a great job you did." You know what I say to that, "Say it with money, honey!"

Usually instead of challenging a person on what they believe a good tip is, I just answer, "Oh, so you're a base twenty-percenter?" That usually gets the point across to people about what a "good" tip is. 

Now we're off topic sorry. A little public service announcement never hurt anybody! Especially not our hard-working service people.


----------



## Andy M. (Feb 19, 2008)

Jill:

Tipping was covered in excruciating detail in an earlier thread.  You may want to find and read it.


----------



## stassie (Feb 19, 2008)

JillBurgh said:


> Thanks for mentioning that, Kitty. I was thinking about posting a similar comment. It has been my experience that when a person says "I tip well" that means they don't know that they are bad tippers (I'm of course gneralizing here, don't send hate mail).. or they are what we call "lip tippers," all talk: "You were wonderful, what great service. I'm going to tell your manager what a great job you did." You know what I say to that, "Say it with money, honey!"
> 
> Usually instead of challenging a person on what they believe a good tip is, I just answer, "Oh, so you're a base twenty-percenter?" That usually gets the point across to people about what a "good" tip is.
> 
> Now we're off topic sorry. A little public service announcement never hurt anybody! Especially not our hard-working service people.


 
Wow... if I ever visit America (or any other country where tipping is expected as a matter of course), I'm going to have to get some serious advise on the tipping thing! So confusing! I'm sure I'd get it all wrong.

Isn't it funny how different cultures do things? I'm quite comfortable with the way we do things here - you eat, you pay the price it said on the menu, you leave! That price includes enough for the service staff to live on. I guess it's just that I've only ever known that


----------



## GB (Feb 19, 2008)

OK folks, lets get back to the topic at hand. Any further tipping discussions should be done in a new thread. Thanks.


----------



## purringkitty (Feb 19, 2008)

sorry. my fault.. im still learning my way around here and i'll try to stay focused  

sorry..


----------



## expatgirl (Mar 1, 2008)

I think that it's nice if you can make a personal connection with your waiter but as has already been pointed out it depends on which restaurant, level of business, etc., etc.---we had young children once, a small budget, and we liked to eat out at at a pizzeria (sp?) on Friday nights.  We befriended the waitress and she always made sure that we were at her tables and gave us excellent service.  Of course we tipped her well.  We always looked forward to Fridays and chatting with her for a few minutes.


----------



## peafactory (Mar 10, 2008)

I place all the plates on top of eachother, scrapping off the food into the top place in the process. Makes it nice for easy takeaway, plus I know I'd appreciate it - becuase I used to be a server


----------



## Marko (Mar 12, 2008)

If you are waiting for your table to be cleared and the dishes are in your way...move them.  In a dining room that is under control, you should not have to wait very long to have your dirty place settings cleared.  The level of service will dictate the level of control however.  If it's a fine dining setting, tables are kept clear, crumbed and glasses are filled on an ongoing basis.


----------



## Fisher's Mom (Mar 12, 2008)

Marko said:


> If you are waiting for your table to be cleared and the dishes are in your way...move them.  In a dining room that is under control, you should not have to wait very long to have your dirty place settings cleared.  The level of service will dictate the level of control however.  If it's a fine dining setting, tables are kept clear, crumbed and glasses are filled on an ongoing basis.


Hi Marko! Glad to see you - where've you been?


----------



## Marko (Mar 12, 2008)

Hi!

I've been busy moving from British Columbia to Toronto and getting settled in my new position as Executive Chef of Eaton Hall.

Have a look at my blog for all the details!!

Cheers!!

Marko


----------



## Weeks (Mar 12, 2008)

Andy M. said:


> What's your opinion on this?
> 
> You (as part of a dinner party of two or more) are having dinner at a restaurant and you are between courses.  Do you leave all the empty dishes where they are or do you collect and/or stack them to make the bus boy's or server's cleanup easier?
> 
> ...



I tip heavily by way of apology? 

Seriously, I try to help, but there's a ruthless part of me that says, "You know, I've cleaned up 5-kid messes that took literally 15 minutes to scrape the leavings off the table before. This isn't too bad." So, for me it depends on the sort of attitude the server has had all meal. If it's been optimistic, high-energy and timely service all meal and he or she isn't even showing the first hint of, "Oh God, I have to pick all that up," then I'm going to tip pretty good and pat 'em on the back, tell them I've been there before. 

If I get what seems to be a growing trend in some chain restaurants, the rolled eyes, annoyed-at-having-to-work look that makes me want to call over the manager and have them fired on the spot, I'll stiff 'em on the tip -and- call the manager when I get home. _There is no excuse for bad service._


----------



## elaine l (Mar 12, 2008)

I do not stack any plates.  I will place my silverware on my plate but that is it.  In my experience the servers are best to remove them correctly.  

Some of the posts remind me, however, of an experience a few years back.  We went to dinner on the Cape to a summertime busy somewhat casual seafood restaurant. We were a table of ten and the seating was such that the server would have difficulty clearing.  But instead of waiting to pass plates my sil passed them ahead of time so they sat right in front of me in a tall stack.  All different sizes.  I was not pleased.  As a past server, I would prefer to pick them up than have them stacked in a way that is too heavy or awkward to neatly take away.


----------

