# My friend is very ill.



## babetoo (May 23, 2009)

my friend Wallie is in the hospital. she had neck surgery on wed. they had to use crash cart this am. now she has a feeding tube , etc. 102 temp. 

she is 74 and in fairly good health before this. has fluid in lungs as well. not a smoker so that is not a factor.

pray or think or send karma to her please. we have been friends for 45 years. i would miss her so much if she dies.


i tried to do this before. wrote a book, really it was Lengthy  when i went to post it . said to short. had to go out, come back in and start over.

am reported this to monitors.

thank you


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## GB (May 23, 2009)

My thoughts are with you and your friend!


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## MexicoKaren (May 23, 2009)

Oh Babe, I am so sorry to hear about Wallie. I hope she is not afraid and in pain, and that you have been able to see her and let her know how much you love her. I will certainly be sending hope and healing in your direction.


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## Alix (May 23, 2009)

Prayers going up babetoo, I'm sorry she is doing so poorly.


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## kadesma (May 23, 2009)

Babe,good thoughts,prayers, well wishes, karma, all coming your Wallie's way.Will hold you both close in my heart..
kadesma


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## babetoo (May 24, 2009)

thank you all so much for the positive thoughts. about four this afternoon she jerked out all the tubes  and knocked a nurse to the floor. wallie is about five feet and if she weighs ninty pounds, i would be surprised. i think the drugs are making her nuts. she told her daughter they were trying to kill her and that daughter was in on it. sounds like morphine to me. they put her on antivan and so far so good. i will probably go back up tomorrow. transportation is so hard for me, but will take a cab if i have to. did a little searching on line and found out the not being able to swallow is quite commom with this surgery. as well as lung problems. now they are calling in pneumonia and giving antibiotics. can only wait and see. going to bed and hope i can sleep.


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## kitchenelf (May 24, 2009)

babetoo - my thoughts and prayers are with your friend, her family, and you!!  Please keep us informed and know we are here if you need us.


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## msmofet (May 24, 2009)

you and your friend are in my thoughts and prayers.
i will light a candle for her.


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## getoutamykitchen (May 24, 2009)

I'm so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your friend.


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## texasgirl (May 24, 2009)

My thoughts and prayers go out to Wallie!!


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## ChefJune (May 24, 2009)

babe, thinking of you and sending out prayers for Wallie. 

Yes, not everyone responds to drugs the way they're "supposed" to.  I will hope they find the right combination for her to get well.


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## babetoo (May 24, 2009)

my gentle friend is now being restrained. she pulled everything out again and fell , banging her head. i know it is for her safety but seems so sad. they keep asking daughter is her mom suffers from dementia. not til she went in hospital she wasn't. i don't think she is now, just lots of drugs and her tolerance is very low. now she has pneumonia so more antibiotics. i didn't go today. she would not like me to see her trussed up like a christmas turkey. 

it has to start getting better. the doctor said the surgery was just fine, that these are health issues, duh. it is not wonder older people don't trust doctors anymore. 

i feel if daughter had brought her home on friday, they wanted her to, that it might be different. she said no room for walker and oxygen. balder dash. her aunt lived in that mobil home in a wheel chair. i used a walker in mine when i broke my foot. she just did not want to care for her. 

thanks for letting me sound off. and thank you for all the prayers and good thoughts.

babe


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## luvs (May 24, 2009)

oh, babe, my prayers.


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## kitchenelf (May 24, 2009)

babe - hopefully when they ween her off the pain meds she'll settle back down.  That has to be very frightening for everyone involved.  Hugs to you!


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## babetoo (May 25, 2009)

thanks everyone. my wally is now in ICU , will be on respirator soon. the pneumonia is now in both lungs. she is still in restraints. i am very sad and worried. i feel she has been dieing since the surgery and that it is simply a matter of time. 

babe


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## kitchenelf (May 25, 2009)

My prayers are with Wallie, babe.  You're in my prayers too.


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## Barbara L (May 25, 2009)

You can count on my prayers for Wallie as well.  

Barbara


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## babetoo (May 25, 2009)

wally is still in ICU. she is on heart meds. blood pressure meds (it shot way up) oxygen by some kind pak thing. will take that off soon so she can cough. then will be a respirator. they took of pak thing and oxygen level went to 60. 

i googled  several aspects of this situation. not a rosy outlook. the pneumonia, the heart are common in this kind of surgery in older people. 

she still says they are trying to kill her and daughter is in on it. dr. says that is dementia   caused  by lack of oxygen. all of it scares the hell out of me.


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## texasgirl (May 25, 2009)

aww babe. Poor soul. I will continue to pray for this lovely lady!!


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## les (May 26, 2009)

I'm sending you & Wallie lots of positive thoughts, 45 years is such a long time to be friends...stay strong x


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## ChefJune (May 26, 2009)

sending you hugs, Babe, and Wallie lots of prayers.  Too bad she didnt get to go home on Friday.


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## katybar22 (May 26, 2009)

Babe, I am so sorry about Wallie.  I really hope and pray she is doing better.  And I pray that she is not in pain and has no recall of what is happening with her now.  But I also have lots of prayers for you.  It is so painful to watch someone you love in such desperation.  I am thinking of you.     Katy


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## MexicoKaren (May 26, 2009)

Oh Babe, I am hoping each time I see a new post that you have better news. This is so hard for you...and poor Wallie. How undignified and cruel to treat her so coldly....when my mother died at age 77, I really thought that the nurses/doctors wrote her off almost immediately; they acted like she was just too old to bother with. She also died following surgery, when she fell and broke her hip. Please spare us all from that....we are all in your corner, Babe.


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## babetoo (May 26, 2009)

i too feel that they have written her off and that they did so when things first started to downhill. she is still in icu, blood pressure is down( is being given meds for this) had to put oxygen mask back on, the in the nose thing not doing the job. heart still bouncing around. she tried once again to remove all the tubes and such and get out of bed. they put her on powerful psy. med. i know the name but can't spell it. she once again told her daughter, last night, that they (doctors and nurses are trying to kill her, and that daughter is in on it. )i am sure that is how she sees it. daughter says speech is going bad. i think that might be due to swelling in the throat from the surgery. they seem to want to say everything is due to old age. god forbid we would think they mishandled the whole thing. i am angry and so i may not be very reasonable. this did prompt me to get a medical power of attorney. then my son and daughter can make decisions if i am not able. this is not the case with wally, so they can do whatever ever they like to her. thanks for all the good wishes and prayers. i am trying to think it will be alright.

babe


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## Barbara L (May 27, 2009)

Do you have any pictures of Wallie, Babe?  The reason I ask is that I read about someone who was basically written off by the hospital staff, as you mentioned.  Her family brought pictures of her in and put them all around her on the wall.  When the nurses and doctors saw the pictures, it brought home the fact that she was a "real" person, and their bedside manner changed greatly.

I'm still praying.  

Barbara


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## ChefJune (May 27, 2009)

Barbara, that is a great idea!

All this unnecessary tragedy (or so it seems) is reminding me of my dear Aunt Elsie.  She went into a so-called "good" hospital at age 87 for surgery to remove a cancerous tumor from her stomach. The surgery was successful, but during the procedure something else (can't remember what it was) was perforated by a nick of the scalpel.  and she died. not immediately, but she developed an infection where the nick was, and they had to reopen the incision.  anyway, it was really sad.  We all felt she probably wouldn't have lived very long, anyway, but that they killed her. prematurely.  This was 17 years ago, and it still hurts.

Babe, I'm sending both you and Wallie hugs and prayers, and hoping very much for a good end to this story.


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## MexicoKaren (May 27, 2009)

I like Barbara's ideas as well, and unfortunately, ChefJune's story about Aunt Elsie happens all to often - I used to work in the health care field and one of my early jobs at our state medical association was to review malpractice case files to help determine if they were defensible. Not good reading, believe me. Babe, I am thinking about you and Wallie today - can you hear me?  All my very best wishes are with you.


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## babetoo (May 27, 2009)

great idea barbara, but she is in icu, that means nothing of a personal nature in the room. no flowers, balloons etc. wally has six cats. her daughter got em all in picture with balloons. she put them on side table at the foot of the bed. they made her take it down. she loves those cats (to many for me) and loves taking care of them. she brushes their teeth for heavens sake. the pictures would certainly raise her awareness and help with the stress. .haven't talked to daughter today. she is a very selfish person and i have known her since she was five years old, fifty something now. ..

thanks everyone for being so kind to me. please keep up prayers, etc. that today is a really good one.

babe


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## babetoo (May 27, 2009)

i just spoke to her daughter. everything is the same. however now they are saying, insurance wise, they will move her to nursing home. that for my friend's temperament is really the beginning of the end. won't happen til the week-end probably. my heart just sank when i heard that.


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## kadesma (May 27, 2009)

Babe, I know how this hurts, please take care of yourself...I'm praying for both if you and those who will be caring for Wallie..May they find it in there hearts to remember, this, could be their own grandmother, mother, sister, Take care of her as if she is your own.
kadesma


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## bethzaring (May 28, 2009)

Babe, I am so sorry you are having to go through this.  I hope the best for Wallie, and that you can find some peace and solace soon..


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## radhuni (May 28, 2009)

I will pray. Hope everything will be alright


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## babetoo (May 29, 2009)

quick update. maybe a tiny bit better, everything is still hooked up, oxygen , feeding tube , and so on. more later


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## babetoo (May 30, 2009)

went to visit my friend a little while ago, i am very encouraged. she looks pretty good. i can understand her when she talks. lots of stuff blocking the way to speech. she is hungry and to me that is just a wonderful thing. guess she was restless all night. they had just given her meds for sleep so we could not stay long. she made perfect sense when she talked to me. so much for dementia. like i said i am feeling very good about her. it is about time.

thanks for the prayers and good wishes , they seem to have worked. please continue til she is well. 

babe


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## kadesma (May 30, 2009)

Babe, 
what wonderful news. I'm so happy for the both of you..I wish you both a a peaceful nights sleep and a welcoming wonderful day tomorrow.
kadesma


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## RoseGetzCookn (May 30, 2009)

Babetoo, my prayers are here for you and your close friend. Post recovery is quite tough and it takes alot out of someone and those around them who care. Here's to a speedy recovery for Wallie !!!


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## babetoo (May 31, 2009)

i was so happy last night after seeing her. look good. about midnight all her vitals crashed. so back to the beginning. i am very discouraged so keep of the prayer etc. it has been almost two weeks since surgery. the incision now is healed, looks like a cat scratch. wish she herself would heal. thank you all


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## kitchenelf (Jun 1, 2009)

babetoo - your friend is definitely in my prayers.  I'm glad you got to see her...I wish her an upward turn.


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## Barbara L (Jun 1, 2009)

I am continuing to pray as well.

Barbara


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## ChefJune (Jun 1, 2009)

sending lots of prayers, Babe.  Try not to be discouraged.


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## RoseGetzCookn (Jun 1, 2009)

Prayers coming your way in the hope your friend has wonderful support and care by the nursing staff at the hospital and in the future if required. Does the hospital have a counsellor where concerns can be raised by family and friends so that all medical routines can be explained that way noone feels discouraged with the hospitals efforts. It can be tough when someone is observing medical staff wizzing by but due to time constraint's unable to explain each step or procedure to worried onlooking family and friends as the patient is the main concern at that time. My field of work at this time is as an Enrolled nurse at a war Veteran's Home where I look after the unit where our dementia diagnosed patient's reside. I can assure you it's a very challenging role and one requiring much patience and dedication and I myself love it because each day is a new day and brings great rewards when I can make a patient's day that much better for being there for them and their needs, it's so much more than just medicating. Trust me you can't help but get attached to each one and insantly become part of your own family because you think about them all the time and believe me when I say fondly remembered when they leave this earth. I have no doubt your friend Wallie will always have good care because they will be loved by you and everyone who will care for Wallie take care lot's of hug's OOOO


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## babetoo (Jun 1, 2009)

rose, i don't know if they do or not, will check on it tomorrow. her doctor has seen the daughter only once. would like to think he has seen wallie many times when daughter not there.her daughter went up this afternoon. could not stay long , they are trying to keep her sedated so she can get some rest, still intubated . i am just so down tonight. her daughter said wallie looked so sad, and can't talk. i am assuming that is because of tubes. thanks for the advice about counselor.


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## MexicoKaren (Jun 1, 2009)

Poor Wallie - most hospitals have a patient advocate/omsbudsman on staff, but with all the privacy laws, it is unlikely that anyone would talk to you. Maybe the daughter? I know you have indicated that your feelings toward her are not that positive. Maybe try to make friends with one of the nurses? An aide? You might get someone to lisen to your concerns.


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## babetoo (Jun 2, 2009)

i spoke to her daughter about then minutes ago. she is still the same and it is not a good thing. they can't get her blood pressure up........three days ago they were trying to get in down. 

i am getting scared that she will not make it.


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## kitchenelf (Jun 2, 2009)

babetoo said:


> i spoke to her daughter about then minutes ago. she is still the same and it is not a good thing. they can't get her blood pressure up........three days ago they were trying to get in down.
> 
> i am getting scared that she will not make it.



Babetoo - if I were near you I would wrap my arms around you!!  You have to put some trust here...trust that things will turn out the way they should.  I hope that doesn't sound harsh.  She has no quality of life right now, she's going through a lot of very difficult things and may not be able to pull out of this.  You wouldn't want her to suffer this way, I just know you wouldn't.  You must dig deep and find a calm place within yourself and ask if you truly want her to go on like this.  Let me tell you a very personal story.  I was sitting at the end of my mother's bed on the very last evening she was alive.  I was distraught and beside myself...looking from her to the woman in the bed beside her.  I was broken and simply asked - So, we live our lives and this is how it ends...we live ALL our lives and it simply ends like this...it ends with "us" in some place where no one can reach us and we can't reach anyone near us...we can't acknowledge...we can't reach out...we just end...is this how it really ends?  Well, let me tell you that I got an answer.  I felt this presence in the room and it started at the doorway and I felt it go right through me and for lack of a better term, I felt it "hit" the wall on the other side of me.  I felt it completely fill the room.  When it did a HUGE voice said "No, this is the beginning."  It was so loud it filled every nook and cranny in my brain and at that moment a nurse walked in.  I asked her if she heard that...she said heard what?  I said that voice.  She simply said she heard no voice.  Well, I did.  This is not the end for your friend, if this is even the end...when it happens, just remember, it's the beginning.


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## RoseGetzCookn (Jun 2, 2009)

Hey babetoo don't be scared just be with your friend whenever you can. The body is a miraculous machine and vital signs fluctuate in recovery the medical staff will know what to do. Don't be afraid to ask a registered nurse of your concern's. All health professionals are trained to support worried loved ones and provide truthful health updates. Anxiety and worry after all will only cause health issues for you and other's who care for Wallie and I'm sure your beautiful friend would never want this for you. Chin up and smile all my thought's prayers are coming your way.


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## kadesma (Jun 2, 2009)

Babe,
I know how you love her and I also know you don't want her to suffer..So know that what HIS will is will be what is best for her..She is loved and she knows it in her heart..so just remember sweetie, HIS will be done...I pray she has peace and comfort and does not suffer.
kadesma


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## MexicoKaren (Jun 2, 2009)

Babe, I know that you are not yet ready to say goodbye to Wallie. I am so touched by the personal and hopeful experiences that have been shared here, and I believe that we are all so fortunate to be a part of this community. I continue to share your expectation that she will pull out of this. I hope it is soon.


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## ChefJune (Jun 3, 2009)

kitchenelf said:


> Babetoo - if I were near you I would wrap my arms around you!! You have to put some trust here...trust that things will turn out the way they should. I hope that doesn't sound harsh. She has no quality of life right now, she's going through a lot of very difficult things and may not be able to pull out of this. You wouldn't want her to suffer this way, I just know you wouldn't. You must dig deep and find a calm place within yourself and ask if you truly want her to go on like this. Let me tell you a very personal story. I was sitting at the end of my mother's bed on the very last evening she was alive. I was distraught and beside myself...looking from her to the woman in the bed beside her. I was broken and simply asked - So, we live our lives and this is how it ends...we live ALL our lives and it simply ends like this...it ends with "us" in some place where no one can reach us and we can't reach anyone near us...we can't acknowledge...we can't reach out...we just end...is this how it really ends? Well, let me tell you that I got an answer. I felt this presence in the room and it started at the doorway and I felt it go right through me and for lack of a better term, I felt it "hit" the wall on the other side of me. I felt it completely fill the room. When it did a HUGE voice said "No, this is the beginning." It was so loud it filled every nook and cranny in my brain and at that moment a nurse walked in. I asked her if she heard that...she said heard what? I said that voice. She simply said she heard no voice. Well, I did. This is not the end for your friend, if this is even the end...when it happens, just remember, it's the beginning.


 
powerful, Elf...  I have heard that voice too, Babe, so I know from experience it is so.  Please try to relax and let the all encompassing power we can never understand surround you.  

Sending you love and peace.


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## babetoo (Jun 3, 2009)

wallie is the same as yesterday. that is not good. this is second time to be intubated.


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## RoseGetzCookn (Jun 3, 2009)

Babetoo where there is breath there is life hang on in there still praying for your lovely friend Wallie and all the staff looking after her at this time. HUGE hugs to you too ! OOOO


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## texasgirl (Jun 3, 2009)

My prayers are still coming!!


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## babetoo (Jun 4, 2009)

sorry to report, she is same. don't know yet about intubation tube. her daughter is being her jerky self. i am going to check and see if they will let me in without her...
then i can judge for myself.


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## babetoo (Jun 4, 2009)

according to daughter, the intubation tube is out. she is still on oxygen mask. still coughing up yucky stuff. her mental condition is dicy. she talked about a double murder she saw in a bar. never happened. she said she wants more cat. she has six. the nurses keep asking was she suffering from dememtia and from how long. she was not in any fashion demented. i felt was drugs but daughter says not on pain meds. anymore. .

she went to big cheese at hospital and said she wanted her mom evaluated. mentally. for two weeks she has had a very hard time of it. i would be a little mental myself. not trying to gloss it over, but it needs to be assessed. she knows president, date and so on. i feel a tiny bit better but don't think we are out of the woods yet. we have been here before.


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## babetoo (Jun 5, 2009)

wallie condition  same as yesterday. and that is progress. going up tomorrow to see all this "confusion for myself.


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## kadesma (Jun 6, 2009)

Babe,
if you've been there before they know who you are. I'd just show up and visit with her..If you get lucky she might be alone and you can just visit and see for yourself how she is doing without anyone interfering. I pray you find her doing better,
kades


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## babetoo (Jun 6, 2009)

my visit got moved to tomorrow. daughter called said she was going to leave that moment instead of 6 pm we had set. i was still in p.j.  there house is in same park as mine, so couldn't make it that fast. said she is tired and doesn't want to go twice. what is she covering up? i don't drive, if she pulls this tomorrow will find a ride some where else. cab rides is 24 dollars. can't spend that. 

she says wallie is the same, and that is good.


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## babetoo (Jun 7, 2009)

she is still holding on with only oxygen in her nose thing. but they have added a tube down her throat to try and clear up lungs. suck up the liquid in them i guess. she is still mentally confused. can't pass the swallow test, so no food. were going to move to extended care. guess not, as she tried once again to escaped. more drugs and maybe restraints .  daughter seems to be hot on the restraints. she told me that she is not physically or mentally able to care for her at home. she has written her off i think. up tomorrow , again to see.


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## babetoo (Jun 8, 2009)

she looked good to me this am, up sitting in chair. p.t was there, had her stand and march in place. she got tired very quickly but did well. they are talking bout moving her still. but didn't pass swallow test again. she did not sound crazy to me. i think it is looking better.


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## LPBeier (Jun 8, 2009)

Babe, I apologize.  I have been away from DC for awhile and missed all of this but just read the entire thread.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and Wallie.  You are such a good friend and I know that she does appreciate it.  I will check in as often as I can to see how she, and you, are doing. 

You take care of yourself too, please.  Love you to bits, you know!


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## babetoo (Jun 11, 2009)

not to worry l.p. good news they moved her out of icu. she managed a small swallow and that was the hold up. best news we have had.


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## Katie H (Jun 11, 2009)

Nice to hear some positive news for a change, babe.  Praying for more to come.


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## texasgirl (Jun 11, 2009)

that's great babe!!


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## MexicoKaren (Jun 11, 2009)

Oh that is good news! Keep it up, Wallie!


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## msmofet (Jun 12, 2009)

babetoo said:


> not to worry l.p. good news they moved her out of icu. she managed a small swallow and that was the hold up. best news we have had.


 thats great news!! sending warm thoughts and prayers your way!!


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## les (Jun 12, 2009)

That's good news to end the week with, keep positive x


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## ChefJune (Jun 12, 2009)

Fantastic!  so good to get a ray of hope.  Still sending out the prayers and good thoughts, Babe.


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## babetoo (Jun 12, 2009)

went today, less confused , still getting oxygen. seems to get better in small steps from day to day. thanks for all your good thoughts and prayers


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## Katie H (Jun 12, 2009)

Good news, babe.  I'll continue to send prayers.  I know they are answered.  Hang in there.


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## kitchenelf (Jun 13, 2009)

Prayers still coming her way!


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## babetoo (Jun 13, 2009)

here we are again, back in ICU on life support. i am so discouraged and told her daughter to be prepared for the worst. has been a month and is really back to no recovery.


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## texasgirl (Jun 13, 2009)

oh babe, I am SO sorry!!! I don't know what to say other than you are all in my prayers!!


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## lifesaver (Jun 14, 2009)

This is for your friend!


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## lifesaver (Jun 14, 2009)

And this is for you!


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## babetoo (Jun 14, 2009)

thank you so much, the rose is just beautiful. perked me up. still the same today, i won't go up she is heavily sedated.


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## MexicoKaren (Jun 14, 2009)

Oh babe, what a struggle she has had. I'm sure she is getting weary. I am so sorry.


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## ChefJune (Jun 15, 2009)

We won't stop praying, Babe.  Sending you hugs, too.  You are such a good friend.


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## LPBeier (Jun 15, 2009)

Babe, you and Willie have my prayers and thoughts as you both go through this ordeal.  Know that you are loved and cared for by you DC family and any friend of yours is one of ours.  Big hugs for you, Willie and her daughter.


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## lifesaver (Jun 15, 2009)




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## lifesaver (Jun 15, 2009)

With all hopes and prayes your friend will soon be back.


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## babetoo (Jun 15, 2009)

i do feel loved by you all. sorry to report pretty much the same today, if not worse. she has infections in her mouth , blood and kidneys. was awake for short while today but not really aware of much.


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## msmofet (Jun 15, 2009)

lifesaver said:


>


 i can't see the picture  you have posted some beautiful ones lf.


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## msmofet (Jun 15, 2009)

babetoo said:


> i do feel loved by you all. sorry to report pretty much the same today, if not worse. she has infections in her mouth , blood and kidneys. was awake for short while today but not really aware of much.


  you and she are still in my thoughts and prayers.


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## babetoo (Jun 16, 2009)

status the same, infections in kidneys, blood and in her mouth. heavily sedated


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## MexicoKaren (Jun 16, 2009)

Oh Babe, poor Wallie. Her lack of awareness may be a blessing at this point...this has been such a struggle for her. I am still hoping for a turnaround.


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## RoseGetzCookn (Jun 16, 2009)

Babetoo sorry to read that Wallie has lapsed with more complications but take comfort many prayers are being sent for Wallie's upturn in this situation. My thought's are with you, take care.


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## les (Jun 17, 2009)

Sorry to hear this Babetoo, I'm sending lots & lots of positive thoughts to you & Wallie. xx


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## lifesaver (Jun 17, 2009)

Many, many prayers are being sent your friends way.


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## LadyCook61 (Jun 17, 2009)

babe, sorry to read of your dear friend's illness .  I know it is hard on you as well , being you love your friend and feel helpless.  Sending hugs across the miles.
LC


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## ChefJune (Jun 17, 2009)

Pouring out the prayers, Sweetie.


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## LPBeier (Jun 17, 2009)

Babe, my heart and prayers are with you now and always.  I wish I was closer so I could be of more help.


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## babetoo (Jun 17, 2009)

they are in the process of a blood transfusion . the idea is new blood will have more oxygen. apparently the respirator is not doing the job. still the same otherwise.


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## In the Kitchen (Jun 20, 2009)

I just read all the responses and I am so downhearted.  What anxiety you are having about your friend and the daughter.  This takes a toll on you.  Seems we suffer more than the one who is being cared for.  

What a good friend you are!  A blessing to Wallie.  I believe she knows you are there even when she doesn't acknowledge you.  My prayers are for both of you and her daughter as well.  May our heavenly Father give you the strength to continue to be near and comfort your friend.  I only hope someone is taking care of her cats.  I'll pray for  them too.  

Please keep on keeping us posted.  You do a real good job and I am concerned like you are.  Love to you and your friend and her cats.


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## babetoo (Jun 20, 2009)

you are very kind. her daughter lives with her so is taking care of cats. she had to put one of the six to sleep. it was coming, very old cat, and was very ill. wallie does not know. she would be very upset. she is in dire straits, my friend , and i feel she is tired of fighting it . she can't talk to us because of all the tubes down her throat. she must be exhausted after a month of this. 

i sure wish she would show some improvement. daughter is angry at nurses and drs. i won't go into all that. they do seem just a bit lax. thanks for the love, it helps.


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## CasperImproved (Jun 20, 2009)

Babe - I am sending all three of you (Wallie and DD included) as much good karma and hugs that I can. This is a sad part of life. 

I am keeping my fingers crossed for your friend. I'm sorry she has had to deal with this so long already. 

Virtual hugs for you, DD and Wallie..

Bob


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## babetoo (Jun 22, 2009)

wallie is still in icu. the dr. daughter, son and wallie are having a family meeting, i think it is today. not sure what they hope this will do. 

thank you bob and all who are praying for wallie. she needs it even more, as this drags on.


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## bethzaring (Jun 22, 2009)

thanks for the update babe,...hugs and prayers to all involved..


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## RoseGetzCookn (Jun 22, 2009)

Hope all goes well with the family conference for your friend Wallie. Prayers for all involved coming your way for a good outcome. Hope you are looking after yourself too, it's so easy to forget about oneself when concerned for a friend, and it's not hard to recognise what a wonderful and caring friend you are too!


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## CasperImproved (Jun 22, 2009)

Still sending hugs and karma your way Babe.

Bob


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## kadesma (Jun 22, 2009)

I haven't said much as I've had my hands full taking care of Cade and Carson, but the prayers have not stopped. You are all in my heart today and always.
kades


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## babetoo (Jun 23, 2009)

last report i have gotten. they are trying to wean her off the tube for oxygen. so far on her on for nine hours. if doesn't work , they will do a trac-incision. one more assault on her body. just hope it works.


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## RoseGetzCookn (Jun 23, 2009)

Medical science is so astounding and due to all the wonderful research by very clever people our generation has been blessed as we reap the rewards with their medical care to date.   Keep the faith Babetoo it sounds as though your friend Wallie is a real fighter hanging in there at all odds, that has to be a good thing all my prayers to you at this time, with lot's of hugs too.


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## babetoo (Jun 27, 2009)

my friend is about the same. the docs. will do a tracheotomy mon. they said will better help in healing her lungs for aspirating. could not  get her daughter to call me for a couple days. i called today, left the message, told her if she did not contact me soon, i would send cops to do a well check. that got a response, as u can imagine. she said i hung up on her the other day,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i mostly certainly did not and told her so. what a piece of work she is


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## kadesma (Jun 27, 2009)

Good for you babe...know you both are in my heart and prayers.
kades


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## CasperImproved (Jun 27, 2009)

Babe - I wish good things for you and yours.
All of you are in my heart, I just wish I could do more.

Bob


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## In the Kitchen (Jul 1, 2009)

*Concerned*

babetoo, how is everything?  I have been thinking of you and your friend.  I am praying all is going okay.  Please keep in touch and let me know.  I am hoping you are doing okay and taking care of yourself too.


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## babetoo (Jul 2, 2009)

not really good in the kitchen. the trach. went ok and is in good working order. they are however going to put food tube in her stomach instead of down the nose. they are saying if she does well on trach. that they will move her to a pulmonary place in another town. she is still out of it. does seem more comfortable after breathing tube was removed. it seems to never end and i am so depressed about it. i really can't see a good outcome. thanks for concern.

babe


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## LPBeier (Jul 2, 2009)

Babe, my heart goes out to you.  I know this is tough but just know that you are loved and lifted up.  Your friend is our friend and anything that affects and hurts you, is our burden as well.

I, and I know most others here, are with you and Willie.  I am sending hugs, but I wish I could give them in person!


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## CasperImproved (Jul 2, 2009)

You hang in there Babe. We never know hows things are going to go for certain. I'll keep my fingers crossed, and my warm thoughts headed your way.

Bob


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## babetoo (Jul 2, 2009)

thank you bob  this whole thing is breaking my heart. i find myself just staring off into space. at least once a day i will think, "gotta go call wallie" and then i catch myself. i hope she is not in any pain. i also hope this will end soon whatever the outcome. thank you all so much, it really does help me.


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## kitchenelf (Jul 2, 2009)

babe...big cyber hug coming your way.  There are no words...just know we're all here.


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## kadesma (Jul 3, 2009)

babe,
I know and understand, please take care of yourself,Wallie just might need your help one day..Stay as loving as you are, she might not be able to say anything but she knows.
hugs,
kades


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## lifesaver (Jul 3, 2009)




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## ChefJune (Jul 3, 2009)

Babe:  sending you hugs and good thoughts...  I come here every day to check on you and see how Wallie is doing.  Still praying for the best.

Wallie is lucky to have you for a friend.


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## babetoo (Jul 3, 2009)

thank you so much , june. everyone is so kind and i don't feel so alone . 
babe


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## CasperImproved (Jul 4, 2009)

Sweetie, you shouldn't have to ever feel alone as long as you have the whole DC community as part of your family.

Bob


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## babetoo (Jul 5, 2009)

a very small sign of getting better. everything is still hooked up. her daughter says wallie wrote her name for the p.t. and gave her, the daughter a great big smile. she said she was out of it yesterday and she feared they were sedating her to make her easier to care for. come hell or high water i am going up this week. first i have to take care of seeing the doctor for myself. my knees are simply not feeling better and my left knee keeps buckling on me. the fall i took last week when it did that is making my whole leg hurt, all the way from knee to buttock. just not going away. so off i go to the doc. i want meds. lol. over the counter stuff is not working. as dorothy parker said, getting old is not for sissys

i will hold my thoughts about wallie til i see her, we have been here before twice.


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## CasperImproved (Jul 6, 2009)

babetoo said:


> a very small sign of getting better. everything is still hooked up. her daughter says wallie wrote her name for the p.t. and gave her, the daughter a great big smile. she said she was out of it yesterday and she feared they were sedating her to make her easier to care for. come hell or high water i am going up this week. first i have to take care of seeing the doctor for myself. my knees are simply not feeling better and my left knee keeps buckling on me. the fall i took last week when it did that is making my whole leg hurt, all the way from knee to buttock. just not going away. so off i go to the doc. i want meds. lol. over the counter stuff is not working. as dorothy parker said, getting old is not for sissys
> 
> i will hold my thoughts about wallie til i see her, we have been here before twice.



Babe - That's some pretty good news about your friend, and I hope Wallie continues on a positive path, but now you have me worrying about you. Getting older may not be for the faint of heart, but it certainly keeps those that love them, concerned about them.

Please keep giving us the updates.

Bob


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## les (Jul 6, 2009)

babetoo said:


> a very small sign of getting better. everything is still hooked up. her daughter says wallie wrote her name for the p.t. and gave her, the daughter a great big smile. she said she was out of it yesterday and she feared they were sedating her to make her easier to care for. come hell or high water i am going up this week. first i have to take care of seeing the doctor for myself. my knees are simply not feeling better and my left knee keeps buckling on me. the fall i took last week when it did that is making my whole leg hurt, all the way from knee to buttock. just not going away. so off i go to the doc. i want meds. lol. over the counter stuff is not working. as dorothy parker said, getting old is not for sissys
> 
> i will hold my thoughts about wallie til i see her, we have been here before twice.


You're right about getting old is not for sissys!!
Keep strong for you & your friend Babe...we're a long way away, but you're with us every day!


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## shubh (Jul 8, 2009)

Sorry to know that you are going to miss your friend. Try to gift some of her favorite things. Try to give her all the cheers you can like write about some shared moments.


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## babetoo (Jul 8, 2009)

CasperImproved said:


> Babe - That's some pretty good news about your friend, and I hope Wallie continues on a positive path, but now you have me worrying about you. Getting older may not be for the faint of heart, but it certainly keeps those that love them, concerned about them.
> 
> Please keep giving us the updates.
> 
> Bob


 
this is an update about me. got cortisone shots in both knees yesterday. said should have relief by week end. he also prescribed a muscle relaxing med. for pain from fall down stairs. just told to stay off it. so am trying.

wallie is the same, hope i can get up there this week-end and will if knees are better. 

thanks for concern


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## MexicoKaren (Jul 8, 2009)

Glad to hear you got your knees taken care of, Babe. Still thinking of Wallie and I am so impressed by her fierce spirit. She must be one amazing woman....someone I know you have been fortunate to count as your friend.


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## CasperImproved (Jul 8, 2009)

We'll be crossing our fingers the cortisone works, and that your friend is making progress. 

Hugs,

Bob


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## babetoo (Jul 11, 2009)

quick post about wallie. basically she is the same, we have been here before.  she still can't talk, cause of trac. that is helping her breath. i am neither sad or elated about her condition. they can't keep the oxygen level so she can breathe on her own.


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## bethzaring (Jul 11, 2009)

thanks for the update...hope you both get to feeling better soon..


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## RoseGetzCookn (Jul 11, 2009)

Hi babe just like you to know that your friend Wallie and yourself are in my thought's and prayers each day and I regularly check for your updates when I can. Hope your knees are showing some improvement and your pain in those area's is subsiding for you. Lot's of Hug's - as well as finger's and toes crossed for the continued medical treatment's and their success for your valued and precious friend at this time  Ciao for now


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## babetoo (Jul 16, 2009)

thank you rose. she is still the same. though it is beginning to look like never being able to talk.


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## CasperImproved (Jul 16, 2009)

Babe that is just too sad for me to put words around... You both are in my heart and thoughts.

Bob


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## babetoo (Jul 16, 2009)

thank you bob


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## RoseGetzCookn (Jul 16, 2009)

Where there is a will there is always a way to comunicate Babe, keep the faith love from rose.


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## msmofet (Jul 20, 2009)

prayers and candles


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## LPBeier (Jul 20, 2009)

Babe, just letting you know that my thoughts and prayers are still with you and Willie (always).  Love and Hugs.


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## babetoo (Jul 20, 2009)

thanks to all. she still can not speak. can write i am told. have had to focus on my self this week. i had a very bad fall early in the week. bruised, and sore. i am better but still achey.


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## MexicoKaren (Jul 20, 2009)

Oh babe, I am so sorry about your fall. Please take care of yourself and don't be reluctant to ask your family for help if you need it. (I say that because I am the worst at asking for help, and I suspect that you and I are alike in that regard.) Best wishes to you - Karen


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## RoseGetzCookn (Jul 20, 2009)

Sending you wishes of a speedy recovery of latest fall Babe. I'll make you laugh now, one time I was seeing to a patient and I banged my shin against the bedrail ....well the pain sent me flying backwards that I tripped myself landing on the opposite wall, sliding down the wall and landing  on bum on floor. Pill cup's in my hand strewn all over the place like confetti. The poor patient looked on in amazement and concern asked " shall I ring the call bell" I begged him not to because I'd never live it down with my fellow colleagues, got up dusted self off. Everytime I laughed to myself of what an idiot I must have looked like the lump on my leg the size of a golf ball reminded me of my pain and when the patient was discharged he left by saying goodbye with a wink noone else the wiser to my misfortunate trip


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## babetoo (Jul 20, 2009)

babetoo said:


> thanks to all. she still can not speak. can write i am told. have had to focus on my self this week. i had a very bad fall early in the week. bruised, and sore. i am better but still achy.


 
she is being moved tomorrow to another facility, all the patients are in her same condition. scary, is this the first step to ware housing her. 

i spent today in bed, am very sore. falling is really scary. thanks for good wishes.


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## bknox (Jul 21, 2009)

Our thoughts are with your friend to have a speedy recovery and with you to have the strength to be there for her.

Bryan


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## In the Kitchen (Jul 21, 2009)

babetoo said:


> she is being moved tomorrow to another facility, all the patients are in her same condition. scary, is this the first step to ware housing her.
> 
> i spent today in bed, am very sore. falling is really scary. thanks for good wishes.



sounds like wise idea to be safe in bed.  My brother has fallen three different times and he is not the man he once was.  He has a fear in his eyes that reminds me of a scared child.  Please take care of yourself babetoo.  Your friend would want you to do that.  I am sure she would tell you that you need rest and love too.  

I am thinking and praying for all of you.  Even your cat, Thomas.  I am sure he likes you to be near to him.


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## CasperImproved (Jul 22, 2009)

Babe - I'm sorry for your friend, but keep in mind that as long as she's got the will to fight it, she might still recover.

I'll keep her in my thoughts.

Bob


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## babetoo (Jul 22, 2009)

you are right bob. she got moved mon and has spoken a little. wants a nightgown and the new place had her up walking. maybe a miracle in the making. i am to punchy to get excited.


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## LPBeier (Jul 23, 2009)

Babe, that is wonderful news!  I keep praying for both of you.


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## babetoo (Jul 28, 2009)

wally has made some strides toward getting well. she is breathing on her own a lot more. though trac.  is still in and she is not eating food. swallow very weak.  friday she got a hair cut and wash at the site she is at, according to daughter.  i can't visit since i can't get a shoe on my right food yet. hopefully soon.  i know i shouldn't be but keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.


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## kadesma (Jul 28, 2009)

babetoo said:


> wally has made some strides toward getting well. she is breathing on her own a lot more. though trac.  is still in and she is not eating food. swallow very weak.  friday she got a hair cut and wash at the site she is at, according to daughter.  i can't visit since i can't get a shoe on my right food yet. hopefully soon.  i know i shouldn't be but keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.


Looks like she is slowly getting better. Now you get to feel  better and able to get along so you can go see her. I pray for you both each day. Be well babe.
kades


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## CasperImproved (Jul 28, 2009)

Babe - You and your friend are in my heart...

Bob


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## ChefJune (Jul 29, 2009)

babetoo said:


> wally has made some strides toward getting well. she is breathing on her own a lot more. though trac. is still in and she is not eating food. swallow very weak. friday she got a hair cut and wash at the site she is at, according to daughter. i can't visit since i can't get a shoe on my right food yet. hopefully soon. i know i shouldn't be but keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.


 
Babe, concentrate on getting yourself well enough to go visit Wallie so you can see for yourself, and in the meantime, try not to worry too much.

Sending you both prayers and hugs...


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## babetoo (Jul 31, 2009)

talked to wallie's daughter today. status quo . still has feeding tube. that bothers me a lot. foot getting better everyday. still swells by the end of day.


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## babetoo (Aug 13, 2009)

this is the last time i will post on this thread. hospital personal had a family meeting with doctors, nurses, her daughter and her brother on the phone in flo.  the opinion is that even if she overcome the physical things, ie breathing on her own, and swallowing so she can eat. she has a feeding tube and only weights 84 pounds. she will never progress mentally. she has had a brain accident they say. i think they blew it and there are covering there collective butts. she can't be moved to a reg. nursing home until the swallows works. 

i am heart broken . her daughter continues to be a idiot. i know she is in denial but the truth is the truth. 

i thank you all for all your support during this long drawn out thread.


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## msmofet (Aug 14, 2009)

babetoo said:


> this is the last time i will post on this thread. hospital personal had a family meeting with doctors, nurses, her daughter and her brother on the phone in flo. the opinion is that even if she overcome the physical things, ie breathing on her own, and swallowing so she can eat. she has a feeding tube and only weights 84 pounds. she will never progress mentally. she has had a brain accident they say. i think they blew it and there are covering there collective butts. she can't be moved to a reg. nursing home until the swallows works.
> 
> i am heart broken . her daughter continues to be a idiot. i know she is in denial but the truth is the truth.
> 
> i thank you all for all your support during this long drawn out thread.


 i am so sorry babe. i will keep you and your friend in my prayers.


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## RoseGetzCookn (Aug 14, 2009)

I'm very sorry to read your last quote Babetoo and every human being deserves dignity with the greatest respect and care at all times. I hope and pray that those who continue to care for your cherished friend Wallie do this. I'm sending you a zilion hugs and if I knew they would mend your broken heart I would send you a zillion more. I know there are appropriate levels of care in a nursing home and if your friend Wallie takes this path will be well looked after. I wish I could reach out and say it's all going to be okay but instead all can say is I am sorry and thankyou for sharing your friend Wallie through your posts.


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## ChefJune (Aug 14, 2009)

babetoo said:


> this is the last time i will post on this thread. hospital personal had a family meeting with doctors, nurses, her daughter and her brother on the phone in flo. the opinion is that even if she overcome the physical things, ie breathing on her own, and swallowing so she can eat. she has a feeding tube and only weights 84 pounds. she will never progress mentally. she has had a brain accident they say. i think they blew it and there are covering there collective butts. she can't be moved to a reg. nursing home until the swallows works.
> 
> i am heart broken . her daughter continues to be a idiot. i know she is in denial but the truth is the truth.
> 
> i thank you all for all your support during this long drawn out thread.


 
Babe, if you need to talk some more about this, you _KNOW_ you can come here and we will understand.  I am so sorry. I know your heart is hurting.  I will continue to keep you both in my prayers.


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## MeganRobinsx3 (Aug 14, 2009)

our prayers are with you


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## In the Kitchen (Aug 14, 2009)

this sure is painful for me too!   I hurt a lot because of this person who I don't even know Only that if she had friend so good as you she herself must have been the BEST !  I will  continue to include you in my prayers that God will give YOU strength and call on Him when you feel weak.  "LET  GO LET GOD" is my affirmation that heals me.  Keep it going babetoo.  Know that people love and care about how you have pain we share your pain.  Wish I could let you know the Everlasting arms are around you.  He will handle things from here.  Daughter or no daughter.  Is she taking care of the cats?  They probably wonder why she doesn't come home?


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## babetoo (Aug 14, 2009)

she is down to five cats, had one old on put to sleep. she is trying to give three away and just have two. says she can't afford it. she has the use of wallies money, but that is her choice. if wallie had any savings they are gone now. 

i will miss wallie more than i can tell you. 46 years is a long time for a friendship. 

thanks to all for good wishes.


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## In the Kitchen (Aug 15, 2009)

babetoo said:


> she is down to five cats, had one old on put to sleep. she is trying to give three away and just have two. says she can't afford it. she has the use of wallies money, but that is her choice. if wallie had any savings they are gone now.
> 
> i will miss wallie more than i can tell you. 46 years is a long time for a friendship.
> 
> thanks to all for good wishes.



Your posts bring tears to my eyes and seems I seldom cry as I have been hurt so much in this life.  I only hope you are taking care of yourself and your family (cats).  I can relate to people who love animals the best.  Just know God will bring you out of this season of despair.  (Afraid to get talking about faith).  Even my psychiatrist tells me I am too much on spiritual thinking!  Gosh did that hurt.  Keep in touch babetoo please know my thoughts are right there w/you and just  have to come to computer to know I  am here!


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## CasperImproved (Aug 18, 2009)

babetoo said:


> this is the last time i will post on this thread. hospital personal had a family meeting with doctors, nurses, her daughter and her brother on the phone in flo.  the opinion is that even if she overcome the physical things, ie breathing on her own, and swallowing so she can eat. she has a feeding tube and only weights 84 pounds. she will never progress mentally. she has had a brain accident they say. i think they blew it and there are covering there collective butts. she can't be moved to a reg. nursing home until the swallows works.
> 
> i am heart broken . her daughter continues to be a idiot. i know she is in denial but the truth is the truth.
> 
> i thank you all for all your support during this long drawn out thread.



As you know, you and your friend have been in my heart, and in my thoughts for a while now. I am truely sad that the situation is, what it is. We can't change that, no matter how much we want. 

I do hope your friend gets the best care possible, and anytime you need someone to be available to talk to, or stress out to, I am your friend. Just send a PM.

Your Pal, 

Bob


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## Barbara L (Aug 18, 2009)

I am still praying for Wallie and for you.  Also for her daughter, for clarity and sensitivity.

We are all here for you Babe, no matter what.

 Barbara


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## babetoo (Aug 21, 2009)

i posted an update and it disappeared. wallies daughter made her a memory board with pictures of friends on it, myself included. says she did not know any of us. daughter is giving away a cat on weekend. four to go. wallie would just have a fit. thanks barbara for your concern


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## ChefJune (Aug 23, 2009)

I'm so sorry, Babe.  Hard to believe her daughter is literally burying her while she's still alive!  

I've been through this nightmare of my parents' end of life, but we managed to savor every moment with them.  

Still praying for you, Babe, and for Wallie. Sending you hugs.


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## babetoo (Sep 6, 2009)

thanks june. the hospital has completed it's job to write my friend off. with the brain injury they caused and now the drugs they are giving her, she is reduced to a vegetable. 

she doesn't know anyone, including her daughter. i am resigned that i will never see my friend again. everything reminds me of her. my wind chimes were a gift from her so when i hear them, i think of her. she gave me a hummingbird feeder for my birthday. such a thoughtful person. when i bake cupcakes i think of her. she gave me the silicone pans. .

pray that wallie will go peacefully , she might as well be dead, in the condition she is in. there is not hope it will ever get better.


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## kadesma (Sep 6, 2009)

babetoo said:


> thanks june. the hospital has completed it's job to write my friend off. with the brain injury they caused and now the drugs they are giving her, she is reduced to a vegetable.
> 
> she doesn't know anyone, including her daughter. i am resigned that i will never see my friend again. everything reminds me of her. my wind chimes were a gift from her so when i hear them, i think of her. she gave me a hummingbird feeder for my birthday. such a thoughtful person. when i bake cupcakes i think of her. she gave me the silicone pans. .
> 
> pray that wallie will go peacefully , she might as well be dead, in the condition she is in. there is not hope it will ever get better.



babe, treasure the wind chimes and Hummingbird feeder..She is lucky to have a friend who loves her as you do. I know how this hurts and I pray for the three of you each day. I'll pray that the LORD watches over her and does what he thinks best. Hold her memory close babe she loved you as you love her.
kades


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## babetoo (Sep 6, 2009)

kadesma said:


> babe, treasure the wind chimes and Hummingbird feeder..She is lucky to have a friend who loves her as you do. I know how this hurts and I pray for the three of you each day. I'll pray that the LORD watches over her and does what he thinks best. Hold her memory close babe she loved you as you love her.
> kades


 

you are so sweet, made me tear up. i cry at the drop of hat right now. thank up


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## In the Kitchen (Sep 7, 2009)

babetoo said:


> thanks june. the hospital has completed it's job to write my friend off. with the brain injury they caused and now the drugs they are giving her, she is reduced to a vegetable.
> 
> she doesn't know anyone, including her daughter. i am resigned that i will never see my friend again. everything reminds me of her. my wind chimes were a gift from her so when i hear them, i think of her. she gave me a hummingbird feeder for my birthday. such a thoughtful person. when i bake cupcakes i think of her. she gave me the silicone pans. .
> 
> pray that wallie will go peacefully , she might as well be dead, in the condition she is in. there is not hope it will ever get better.



babetoo, the way I read this is, life makes it little easier to accept our loss.  It somehow takes away the pain when we are reminded of the days we had with our loved ones.  May be these things were given to help you find solace in your days ahead.  The memories are so valuable and I am told that memories from long ago are remembered more than recent ones.  This all must have something to do with life.

Hearing you say that you would rather be at rest than in the state she is in is a true sign of the love you have for her.  Just like with my dogs, sad comparison but true, when they are  no longer 'living' the way they should the vet will put them down.  I would want someone to be 'living' than laying in a state of not knowing.  

I thank you babetoo, for sharing your thoughts w/us.  In some way, having others assure you that they are grieving with you helps.  I am sure Thomas is of some consolation also.  He knows what is going on.  Just having him be near is great help.  My prayers are with both you and wallie.  Please keep in touch and take special care of yourself.  wallie would want you to.  do it for her.  May God grant you peace whenever the day comes.  let go, and let God!


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## leeniek (Sep 9, 2009)

babetoo said:


> thanks june. the hospital has completed it's job to write my friend off. with the brain injury they caused and now the drugs they are giving her, she is reduced to a vegetable.
> 
> she doesn't know anyone, including her daughter. i am resigned that i will never see my friend again. everything reminds me of her. my wind chimes were a gift from her so when i hear them, i think of her. she gave me a hummingbird feeder for my birthday. such a thoughtful person. when i bake cupcakes i think of her. she gave me the silicone pans. .
> 
> pray that wallie will go peacefully , she might as well be dead, in the condition she is in. there is not hope it will ever get better.





I'm new here and I'm so sorry for your loss.  You have had a lifetime with her and I hope you have lots of fond memories of her.


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## babetoo (Sep 9, 2009)

thank you so much leeniek. yes i do have many very fond memories of our times together. she always laughed at my jokes. i teased her a lot. about being so short and skinny.

my granddaughter called this am . her other grandma fell and broke her hit. we are dropping like flies here in so. calif. 

thanks again for your kindness and welcome to dc.


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## babetoo (Sep 14, 2009)

now i am really heart broken. have not seen wallie since she was moved to this hospital. it is in another town and transportation almost impossible. her daughter sent me a e mail with photo she took this a.m. i wish i had not opened it. she looks a hundred years old and is obviously out of it. my friend is gone, and i will miss her more than i can say.


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## ChefJune (Sep 15, 2009)

sending you hugs, Babe.


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## Wyogal (Sep 15, 2009)

Are there "patient advocates" in the area?


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## babetoo (Sep 15, 2009)

Wyogal said:


> Are there "patient advocates" in the area?


 
i am sure there are. it is hard to get anything done via her daughter. she is mostly hell bent to a lawsuit. she has contacted a funeral home and her mom is not gone yet. she wanted to be cremated and i can to some extent understand her need to be prepared. 

she argues with me over anything i suggest about a second opinion dr. she rants and raves about lawsuits. 

she says she wanted everyone to see how her mom was. don't have a clue why. maybe the drama of it. i told her i could not visit. didn't want to see my friend like that. she made sure i did. i opened the e-mail , it had to title so did not know what it was about. i am so upset and depressed today.


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## babetoo (Oct 4, 2009)

wallie is back in icu. they took trac. out and she aspirated again. that makes three times. her daughter did not approve the removal of the trac. it has now been almost four months since the surgery. this can't have a happy ending.


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## Wyogal (Oct 4, 2009)

oh dear, prayers going out to your friend, and you...
Can you contact a patient advocate? Because it's not about her daughter.


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## babetoo (Oct 4, 2009)

babetoo said:


> i am sure there are. it is hard to get anything done via her daughter. she is mostly hell bent to a lawsuit. she has contacted a funeral home and her mom is not gone yet. she wanted to be cremated and i can to some extent understand her need to be prepared.
> 
> she argues with me over anything i suggest about a second opinion dr. she rants and raves about lawsuits.
> 
> she says she wanted everyone to see how her mom was. don't have a clue why. maybe the drama of it. i told her i could not visit. didn't want to see my friend like that. she made sure i did. i opened the e-mail , it had no title so did not know what it was about. i am so upset and depressed today.


 
just fixed a mistake


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## babetoo (Oct 4, 2009)

Wyogal said:


> oh dear, prayers going out to your friend, and you...
> Can you contact a patient advocate? Because it's not about her daughter.


 
thanks for your concern. a patient advocate would not talk to me. i just get the info from daughter and ask her questions. that is all i can do.


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## CasperImproved (Oct 5, 2009)

Babe - I'd sit quietly, and hold you hand right now if I could... I feel for you, and send what positive thoughts I can.

Bob


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## babetoo (Oct 5, 2009)

thank you so much casper


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## Chief Longwind Of The North (Oct 6, 2009)

I hope she recovers from her illness.  I will include her in my personal prayers too, and you as well.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


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## babetoo (Oct 6, 2009)

goodweed, i am so sad to say but she will never be well. to much damage to the lungs from aspirating three times. when the took the trac. out she coded. now she is back on ventilator. they are saying they will hold her room seven days. she is in icu now. after seven days they would send to another town that is a lengthly drive away.her daughter says she would only be able to go once a week. does not feel she can stay on top of things that way. i frankly think they are trying to kill her or at least hurry up death. that to me was why they took trac. out, now say they can't get in back in. makes me crazy . thanks for your kind words


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## babetoo (Nov 20, 2009)

just got off the phone. some good news, my friend Wallie is now able to swallow. she had applesauce, first food in six months. daughter said she is more lucid. they took her off so many drugs and she is more alert. not a miracle but it is positive progress.


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## Alix (Nov 20, 2009)

Good news babetoo!


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## babetoo (Nov 20, 2009)

thank you alix. it is some good news ,long overdue.


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## ChefJune (Nov 20, 2009)

babetoo said:


> just got off the phone. some good news, my friend Wallie is now able to swallow. she had applesauce, first food in six months. daughter said she is more lucid. they took her off so many drugs and she is more alert. not a miracle but it is positive progress.



Yes, it IS good news, Babe. The miracle is that they finally took her off some of those meds she probably didn't need in the first place.

Prayers for both of you continue.


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## Chief Longwind Of The North (Nov 21, 2009)

The human body is an amazing machine.  It can heal so many of its own failures, especially when the spirit is positive verses negative.  Your love for your friend, no doubt, helped her, whether you could be by her side or not.  The prayers of many helped to.  As you said, she may never recover, but at the very least, she has enough function to know the love of her friends and family.  When she does move on to the next life, and we all do sooner or later, she will carry that with her.  And when you follow some distant time in the future, she will be there, waiting to embrace you, and welcome you.

I believe in life after death.  And I know that my parents, and grandparents will be waiting for me.  There will be a reunion, and it will be a great time of celebration.  But for now, continue to give your love to your friend, and remember, that all things are possible with faith.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


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## Claire (Nov 21, 2009)

I just hope for some quality of life.  That is all I wish for.  When I was on the road for three years, we often found ourselves in old historic churches.  My mother was very, very, well, not to exaggerate, but close to her death-bed (she encouraged us to go).  Whenever we stopped at one of these churches, I prayed, not so much for her recovery, but for her to be able to enjoy every day of the life she had left.  That was well over a decade ago, and I was lucky enough to be sitting with her when my niece announced that she was to, this summer, see her first great-grandchild.  You'd never believe it if you'd seen her even last year, but now she is jumping around like a teenager.


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## msmofet (Nov 29, 2009)

Great news babe!!


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## In the Kitchen (Nov 30, 2009)

*Babe*

This thread is the main reason I check to see progress.  It IS positive to know there is A change.  I will surely keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  So many are thinking of you babe, and that truly makes a difference.

I thank you for keeping us informed of how your friend is doing.  With all this support I am sure you can feel it.  Be strong, babe.

Oh, how is Thomas doing?


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## babetoo (Nov 30, 2009)

good news and then up jumps the devil. she has run out of coverage for physical therapy and speech therapy. without  the speech thepory she can not eat again as the speech therapist has to approve. so..............she can't get better, they won't pay but continue to pay for warehousing. i am beyond angry and into super atomic angry. i call it wallie's wild toad ride, in the land of medical madness.


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## kadesma (Nov 30, 2009)

Babe, this makes me so angry and so sad.Do no harm, what a crock...Were I her daughter i'd be making so much noise they would throw me out. If it were in my power to do anything at all I would. All I can do is continue to pray for Wallie. She is blessed to have a friend such as you.
kades


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## babetoo (Dec 1, 2009)

In the Kitchen said:


> This thread is the main reason I check to see progress. It IS positive to know there is A change. I will surely keep you in my thoughts and prayers. So many are thinking of you babe, and that truly makes a difference.
> 
> I thank you for keeping us informed of how your friend is doing. With all this support I am sure you can feel it. Be strong, babe.
> 
> Oh, how is Thomas doing?


 

thomas is just fine. he is my bud. he was so good when i was sick , just stayed in bed with me. didn't pester to play or anything. but boy he is glad i am feeling better, he is practically skipping when he goes out to sun room with me. one of the reasons i have to live at least five more years. he will be ten years olds then and can just go with me. silly but has to be considered.


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## In the Kitchen (Dec 2, 2009)

babetoo said:


> thomas is just fine. he is my bud. he was so good when i was sick , just stayed in bed with me. didn't pester to play or anything. but boy he is glad i am feeling better, he is practically skipping when he goes out to sun room with me. one of the reasons i have to live at least five more years. he will be ten years olds then and can just go with me. silly but has to be considered.


babe
How I can so relate to that feeling!  We never want to let our 'friends' go!  It is truly beautiful to hear how you have such a close relationship with Thomas.  As you said one of our reasons for living.  

Thanks for letting me know Thomas is happy, which means you are the same!  All is well! You both are in my thoughts and prayers.


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## babetoo (Dec 2, 2009)

daughter filed an appeal today. will keep you posted.


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## babetoo (Jan 16, 2010)

update: one of the doctors (lung) told daughter that they should pull the trach. he said she has no quality of life. daughter is against it , of course. she needs to think of what wallie would want. she is not better, she is not going to get better. it has been seven months and no progress in the breathing process. she is very brain injured. about 37 percent the doctor says. 

i am a realist , she needs to let go of guilt and do what is right. i love my friend, but that person in the bed, is not my friend. she left long ago. yes i am sad, but we talked of this many times and what we did not want. she would not want this  life.


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## In the Kitchen (Jan 17, 2010)

*babetoo*

Thanks for the update.  You are right when you say, 'she is gone'. I am so very grateful that you can see this.  At this stage I don't believe anyone would want to cause her any more pain or discomfort.   You want what is best for your friend.  This is what true love is, allowing to let go.  You did what you could for her when she was aware of it.  Rest on that.  I do feel sorry for her daughter that she has to take care of this alone.  I am sure you try to help her as much as you can.  There is a time when we all have to make choices on our own.  

I am praying for all of you.  Also giving thanks that you feel the way you do.  Life is not easy. Keep in touch and take care of yourself. You are good person.


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## trooper (Jan 17, 2010)

Said a prayer for your friends recovery and to calm your heart.


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## trooper (Jan 17, 2010)

And to calm your heart.


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## ChefJune (Jan 17, 2010)

how sad that makes me.  Sending you hugs, Babe.


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## msmofet (Jan 17, 2010)

{{{HUGS}}}


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## babetoo (Feb 3, 2010)

sad to say, just the same.


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## babetoo (Feb 3, 2010)

babetoo said:


> sad to say, just the same.


 
just realized we are coming up on a year in april. i am no longer expecting any positive change. i miss my friend very much.


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## kadesma (Feb 3, 2010)

babetoo said:


> just realized we are coming up on a year in april. i am no longer expecting any positive change. i miss my friend very much.


She is in your heart what a wonderful place for her to be. She still has my prayers as do you.
kades


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## ChefJune (Feb 4, 2010)

babetoo said:


> just realized we are coming up on a year in april. i am no longer expecting any positive change. i miss my friend very much.



I was thinking about you and Wallie the other day. Still sending you prayers and hugs.


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## babetoo (Mar 20, 2010)

sad to say everything is just the same. i feel like she is already dead. i miss her.


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## kadesma (Mar 20, 2010)

babetoo said:


> sad to say everything is just the same. i feel like she is already dead. i miss her.


Of course you do. Someplace deep inside, she knows how you feel babe and she loves you too.
kades


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## ChefJune (Mar 22, 2010)

babetoo said:


> sad to say everything is just the same. i feel like she is already dead. i miss her.


 
I'm sure you do. I can relate to that.

and thinking about all that has happened to Wallie, perhaps the best tribute you could pay to your dear friend is to take legal steps to ensure the same kinds of things could never happen to YOU!  

sending you hugs.


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