# I LOVE THESE BLOND JOKES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



## wasabi (Feb 11, 2005)

Two blondes  living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench
          talking........and one blonde says to the other:
    "Which do you think is farther  away..........Florida or the
moon?

          The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you  see
           Florida.......?????


            CAR TROUBLE

            A blonde  pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells
          the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few
    minutes, it is idling   smoothly.

            She says,  "What's the story?"

            He  replies, "Just ! crap in the carburetor"

        She asks, "How often do I have to do  that?"



             SPEEDING TICKET

            A police  officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks
          her very nicely if he could see her license.

    She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would  get your act
together.
           Just
            yesterday you take away my  license and then
            today you  expect me to show it to you!"


          KNITTING

            A  highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on
        the freeway.
            Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that
      the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!  Realizing
            that she was oblivious  to his flashing lights
            and  siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned
        on his bullhorn and yelled , "PULL OVER!" "NO!"  the
            blonde yelled back, "IT'S A  SCARF!"

            BLONDE ON THE  SUN

            A Russian, an  American, and a Blonde were talking one
          day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
    The American said, "We were the ! first on the  moon!"
            The Blonde said, "So  what? We're going to be the first
          on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at  each
            other and shook their  heads. "You can't land on the
             sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

      To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you  know.  We're
          going at  night!"

            IN A  VACUUM

            A blonde was  playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was
          her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on
    Science & Nature. Her question  was,
            "If you are in a vacuum and  someone calls your name,
            can you  hear it?" She thought for a time and then
          asked, "Is it on or off?"

        FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE  JOKES!

             A girl was  visiting her blonde friend, who had
          acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names
    were. The blonde responded by saying that  one
            was named Rolex and one was  named Timex. Her friend
            said,  "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

      "Hellllllllooo," answered the blonde.  "They're  watch dogs!"


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## crewsk (Feb 11, 2005)

ROFLMAO!!!!    Thanks wasabi, I needed a good laugh!


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## PA Baker (Feb 11, 2005)




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## wasabi (Feb 11, 2005)

*crewsk, You're the smartest blond I know.  *


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## crewsk (Feb 11, 2005)

Awww...thanks wasabi!   You're too sweet!


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## luvs (Feb 11, 2005)

that was a cute post, lol...


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## middie (Feb 11, 2005)

i love blonde jokes too.


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## kitchenelf (Feb 11, 2005)




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## norgeskog (Feb 11, 2005)

wasabi they are really funny, says this blond.  And BTW do you know why blond jokes are so short?      so brunetts can understand them


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## wasabi (Feb 11, 2005)

*Touche*


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## norgeskog (Feb 11, 2005)

wasabi said:
			
		

> *Touche*



could not resist wasabi, but I love blond jokes , most of them anyway.


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## Rumplestiltskin (Feb 11, 2005)

*How do blondes' brain cells die?*
Alone.

*What is a blonde's mating call?*
I think I'm drunk.

*
Why do blondes drive BMWs?*
Because they can't spell Porsche.
*
What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping trolley?*
A shopping trolley has a mind of its own.

*How do you drown a blonde?*
You put a mirror on the bottom of the pool.
*
How do you confuse a  blonde?*
Give her a box of M&Ms and ask her to arrange them in alphabetical order.


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## lyndalou (Feb 12, 2005)

Those are too cute, Wasabi. You can always make us smile or laugh out loud. 
Rumple, etc. I think it's spelled Porsche.   
Your jokes were cute, too.


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## Rumplestiltskin (Feb 12, 2005)

lyndalou said:
			
		

> Rumple, etc. I think it's spelled Porsche.
> Your jokes were cute, too.



You're not wrong "Lyndalou". Of all the places to make a spelling error,it would have to happen there! 
There was another error in that line but you will never know as it has now been edited.
Thanks for your diligence.


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## DampCharcoal (Feb 12, 2005)

LOL! Watch yourself, buddy! The ladies here are not group to be trifled with and they have long memories!


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## TexasTamale (Feb 13, 2005)

*The Not So Dumb Blonde *
I came in to work early the other day and began hanging upside down from the ceiling. Just then one of my co-workers (she's blonde..it'll be important later) came in and asked me what I'm doing. 

"Shh," I said, " I'm a light bulb -- I'm acting crazy to get a few days off, as there is an out of town wedding I need to go to until Tuesday. ." 

A minute later the Boss walked by and asked me what I was doing. 

"I'm a light bulb!" I exclaimed. 

"You're going crazy," he said. 

"Take a few days off, and come back when you are de-stressed" 

With that, I jumped down and started walking out. My co-worker started following me and the Boss asked where she was going. 

I can't work in the dark," she said.


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## -DEADLY SUSHI- (Feb 13, 2005)

Damps right... be careful!


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## Rumplestiltskin (Feb 13, 2005)

The light globe joke was  a  top one "Texas".


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