# I Am Adopted



## CatPat (Sep 12, 2013)

I did not attempt to mislead all of you here. I was adopted when I was 3 months old. My birth parents did not want me. I know this is a bad thing to be unwanted. 

Mamma could not bear children and so she and Papa adopted me. Mamma said this is a good website and she permitted me to tell the truth. It did concern me that my new friends here did not know the truth. DA did agree with this telling.

I am trying to be the best I can be. I owe my family and my new country to be the very best I can be. 

I do not know what adoption means in my new country. I do know I love my parents and my family more than I can explain. I do know to be unwanted and then to have this life is not always the life of someone who is adopted.

I hope I have not disappointed anyone. It was the time for the truth.

Your friend,
~Cat


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## Aunt Bea (Sep 12, 2013)

CatPat said:


> I did not attempt to mislead all of you here. I was adopted when I was 3 months old. My birth parents did not want me. I know this is a bad thing to be unwanted.
> 
> Mamma could not bear children and so she and Papa adopted me. Mamma said this is a good website and she permitted me to tell the truth. It did concern me that my new friends here did not know the truth. DA did agree with this telling.
> 
> ...



It means someone loves you! 

How can that disappoint anyone?


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## CatPat (Sep 12, 2013)

Aunt Bea said:


> It means someone loves you!
> 
> How can that disappoint anyone?



Thank you so very much for understanding this. My family loves me very much and I owe them so very much.

I am relieved I have not disappointed anyone. 

Thank you!

Your friend,
~Cat


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## Hoot (Sep 12, 2013)

Being adopted in this country, and I suspect in most countries, is nothing to be ashamed of. Rather, you should be proud. There is a lot of hoops to jump through for the parents and it means that you are loved.


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## Andy M. (Sep 12, 2013)

We appreciate your sharing this with us.  However, you should not feel obligated to do so.  It doesn't change who you are.


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## GotGarlic (Sep 12, 2013)

Andy M. said:


> We appreciate your sharing this with us.  However, you should not feel obligated to do so.  It doesn't change who you are.



+1. And you should not feel obligated to tell anyone in real life, either. It's a fact of your life, like hair color. No need to announce it 

And maybe your birth parents felt they could not take care of you as well as an adoptive family. It is an act of love to give up a child to a better home.


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## Dawgluver (Sep 12, 2013)

Adopted children are especially loved, their parents picked them!


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## CatPat (Sep 12, 2013)

Thank you all so much! I am very lucky and blessed. In my former country, it is as a stigma to be adopted. I was not sure of this here.

I am happy this is not a stigma here! Mamma was right. Americans are much nicer about this.

Your friend,
~Cat


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## Dawgluver (Sep 12, 2013)

CatPat said:


> Thank you all so much! I am very lucky and blessed. In my former country, it is as a stigma to be adopted. I was not sure of this here.
> 
> I am happy this is not a stigma here! Mamma was right. Americans are much nicer about this.
> 
> ...



It saddens me that people would stigmatize an innocent baby for being adopted.  Here, we celebrate adoption.


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## kadesma (Sep 12, 2013)

We all love and adore children. Hold your head up and be proud of what and who you and you parents are. We don't expect you to tell us you are adopted but being as you've chosen to  I'm proud  to know you. Feel welcome to reply to me as you wish. And remember head up and smile.
kadesma


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## taxlady (Sep 12, 2013)

What everyone else said 

You know that your real parents (the ones who adopted you) wanted you.


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## CatPat (Sep 12, 2013)

Thank you! I am proud to know all of you. I am glad you adore children! I love them also. I like to watch them play here in the playground, and sometimes I take Azia there to play with them. Children with a dog is always very much fun!

Your friend,
~Cat


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## Steve Kroll (Sep 12, 2013)

There's no stigma at all in this country. If it makes you feel any better I'm adopted, too, and have never met my real parents.


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## taxlady (Sep 12, 2013)

Steve Kroll said:


> There's no stigma at all in this country. If it makes you feel any better I'm adopted, too, and have never met my real parents.


Sure you have. They are the parents who love you. You have never met your biological parents.


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## CatPat (Sep 12, 2013)

taxlady said:


> Sure you have. They are the parents who love you. You have never met your biological parents.



Oh! I always thought of that but I never said it!

I am loved very much from my family. It is why I am here and it is why I must be successful and make them never regret of choosing me for their child.

Your friend,
~Cat


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## joesfolk (Sep 12, 2013)

I have friends who are trying to adopt a child from Africa.   We all (their friends and family)  support them as much as if they were expecting naturally.   We are very excited that they are growing their family in this very loving way.  You need not be ashamed.  Your natural parents did what was best for you.  That is a very loving act.  Your adoptive parents did an equally loving act.  See how many people love you!   As you know America is a country built by many different kinds of people.  We welcome these differences.  It is one of the things that make this a great country.  We welcome all kinds of people.


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## Mad Cook (Sep 12, 2013)

GotGarlic said:


> +1. And you should not feel obligated to tell anyone in real life, either. It's a fact of your life, like hair color. No need to announce it
> 
> And maybe your birth parents felt they could not take care of you as well as an adoptive family. It is an act of love to give up a child to a better home.


A friend of mine was adopted as a baby in the late 1940s. She was always told she was special because most Mummies and Daddies had to be content with what they chanced to get but her Mummy and Daddy got to chose the best baby. 

That may not be very PC in this day and age but, as she said to me recently, as a small girl she felt dreadfully sorry for children who _weren't_ adopted.


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## Dawgluver (Sep 12, 2013)

My mother was adopted.  All she recalled was joy growing up, all the indulgence and love.  Then her parents adopted another little girl, Mom was so mad!  She had wanted a plaid skirt, not a baby sister!


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## CharlieD (Sep 12, 2013)

Thank G-d you live in the normal country, thank G-d people here are normal people. Nothing wrong with being adapted, on the opposite, you are a very lucky girl. And I am sure your parents are lucky too, lucky to have found you and have you as a daughter. Where did you come from originally? Is it ok to ask you that? You do not have to answer it. Just being nosy.
On the other hand, Hoot, you are so uninformed. In the pathetic country I am coming from adoption was a huge stigma. People would move just so they would cover the fact that they adopted a child, children would be made fun of, teased. Unfortunatelly I doubt it was the only country with such mean people. I don’t even want to think about it. Thank G-d I do not live there anymore.


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## Dawgluver (Sep 12, 2013)

Cat is from Romania, Charlie.


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## CharlieD (Sep 12, 2013)

I see, I just looked at her profile and found this out too. Thank you. I think the whole eastern block was messed up that way.


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## CatPat (Sep 12, 2013)

Yes, I am from Brasov, Romania. In Romania and in Ukraine, adopted children are not very welcomed into the society. You are right, CharlieD. I do thank God I am alive, for there was a time for me when that might not have been.

I was thrown away in a trash can when I was 2 or 3 days old. A man while walking his dog found me and put me to the hospital. I do not have any papers of my birth. All I have are the adoption papers my parents were required to have for me. January 3 may not be my real birthday. The hospital had to estimate this. Mamma said I was cold and sick when I was received to the hospital. The hospital also records that I was born before the nine months of pregnancy.

It took the hospital three months to make me healthy. Mamma was visiting to her brother, my Uncle Nicu, at the hospital and she would go to the section where the babies are to look at them and to wish she had a baby. She found me there. No one wanted me and I was to go to an orphanage. She told Papa of me, and they began the process to adopt me. Mamma and Papa have never understood how someone would be able to throw away a baby. Papa sometimes has the tears also of hearing a baby was thrown away. Mamma cannot speak of that very much, for it hurts her.

I am very sure that all of you are wonderful parents and you are very great people. You have shown this to me, and I am very grateful. I would like to say that if you could meet Mamma, Papa, and DA, you would know of them to be very wonderful parents and very great people just like you are.

I only have one thing to regret. I do not know who the man who found me was. I never had the opportunity to thank him for saving me. Mamma and Papa put notices in the newspapers to look for him, but no one answered to them. But I know that God knows who he is, and I always pray for this man. 

I have two families now! My new family is here! I am very happy. I hope the African adoption goes very well. I wish all of you all the best in this life.

Your friend,
~Cat


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## pacanis (Sep 12, 2013)

Dawgluver said:


> Cat is from Romania, Charlie.


 
Was she born in Romania, or that is where her family is from and where she grew up? I'm just wondering if that is what the adoption stigma is over there, perhaps not being from where your family is from. Like if you were born in Georgia but adopted in the Ukraine.


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## pacanis (Sep 12, 2013)

Cat, you just answered my question.


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## CatPat (Sep 12, 2013)

Mamma and Papa are certain I was born in Romania. 

Your friend,
~Cat


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## Dawgluver (Sep 12, 2013)

Hope you can find the man who rescued you from that trashcan, Cat.  What a horrible thing to do to a baby, puppy, kitten, any living thing!


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## CatPat (Sep 12, 2013)

Mamma and Papa put many notices in the papers but no one made a response.

I am grateful to this man. Yes, it is a terrible thing to do! I become very angry with puppies and kittens and babies being thrown away! 

Life is much too precious to be thrown away. I was given a blessing of God to be here.

Your friend,
~Cat


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## joesfolk (Sep 12, 2013)

I meant to tell you that it is interesting that your mother found you in the hospital where your Uncle Nicu was being treated.  You see in America a NICU is a neo-natal intensive care unit.  It is a place where very sick newborn children are cared for.Well,  I found it coincidental...or perhaps providential.


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## CatPat (Sep 12, 2013)

joesfolk said:


> I meant to tell you that it is interesting that your mother found you in the hospital where your Uncle Nicu was being treated.  You see in America a NICU is a neo-natal intensive care unit.  It is a place where very sick newborn children are cared for.Well,  I found it coincidental...or perhaps providential.



Those words put chills on me! I was in a special place for babies in danger. Oh I do not know what to say to this.

Thank you for this! I do love my uncle Nicu. Now I have words for his name which is very precious!

Thank you!
Your friend,
~Cat


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## Mad Cook (Sep 13, 2013)

CatPat said:


> Yes, I am from Brasov, Romania. In Romania and in Ukraine, adopted children are not very welcomed into the society. You are right, CharlieD. I do thank God I am alive, for there was a time for me when that might not have been.
> 
> I was thrown away in a trash can when I was 2 or 3 days old. A man while walking his dog found me and put me to the hospital. I do not have any papers of my birth. All I have are the adoption papers my parents were required to have for me. January 3 may not be my real birthday. The hospital had to estimate this. Mamma said I was cold and sick when I was received to the hospital. The hospital also records that I was born before the nine months of pregnancy.
> 
> ...


It seems that you were lucky in more ways than one. There were absolutely dreadful stories in the 1990s and early in this century about the conditions children were enduring in Roumanian orphanages largely due to the previous government's ban on contraception which had lead to large numbers of abandoned babies.

I'm glad that you found a happy home with loving parents.


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## Addie (Sep 13, 2013)

Cat, we have a member of DC who has a little girl that she and her husband adopted. They celebrate as a family two separate days. Their daughter's birthday, and the day she was adopted and became their little girl legally. So you see, in this country, adoption is celebrated, not reviled. People who adopt children are very special people. We as Americans adopt children because it is the every child's birthright to be loved and wanted. And we know this. We cross all lines when it comes to adoption. It doesn't matter the race or from what ethnic group that baby may be from. If we have a home that has an empty place, then we take in that child and love it as if we carried it for nine months. We have parties for parents who are adopting a child. We celebrate adoption. It is a selfless act to do. We even have families that adopt only hard to place babies. Babies that are handicapped or have medical problems that would overwhelm the average person. We have families that adopt babies that are very sick and not going to live to adulthood. Yet they take that baby into their heart and home knowing that they will be burying it someday. 

Yes Cat. We celebrate adoption. We encourage it. And when we hear of someone who has been adopted, we know that person has received extra love.


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## CatPat (Sep 13, 2013)

Thank you, my nice friends. Mamma has been reading this thread to evaluate the Americans' feelings of such things. She said it is better than she had hoped for. 

She said she is glad that they decided to send me here inside her head, but inside her heart, she hurts. We miss each other very much. She said Papa came home last Monday from Constanta and was worried of me. He was on the boat and had a bad feeling of me. Poor Papa!

I wrote him a nice poem and mailed it to him along with a card to Mamma and my usual weekly letter. Maybe he will feel better with it. 

It is true of the 1990s, atrocious things were happing in orphanages all across Romania and also in Albania and Ukraine. Bad things were occurring to babies also. There are many trash can babies in my former country, and most of them die. 

I love these postings of great support and very good news. I hold all these words close in my heart. It is another of the wonders of this great nation and the members of this website, wherever you may live.

I certainly did receive extra love. Mamma could not bear thinking of me in one of those orphanages and it is why she and Papa took me. Orphanages were terrible. Some still are, but many of them have been changed for the better. Romania does not have the aid to give to places such as these as do the Americans. 

Thank you, my friends!

Your friend,
~Cat


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## PrincessFiona60 (Sep 13, 2013)

Cat,

I was also unable to have children of my own.  I married a wonderful man with 3 kids.  I think of them and the grandchildren as my own and our two adopted grandchildren are also in the same place in my heart.  That's the nice thing about hearts...they have infinite space for love.

My Mother and Father also think of these grandchildren as their great-granchildren and they get the same love and care that Mom and Dad give to my brother and sister's kids.  

My husband's ex-wife and her husband spend some holidays with us...we are one gigantic, happy family.  Have been for over 30 years.

Your friend,
P.Fiona


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## CatPat (Sep 13, 2013)

PrincessFiona60 said:


> Cat,
> 
> I was also unable to have children of my own.  I married a wonderful man with 3 kids.  I think of them and the grandchildren as my own and our two adopted grandchildren are also in the same place in my heart.  That's the nice thing about hearts...they have infinite space for love.
> 
> ...



This is wonderful for you! You must be so very happy, and I know your family is happy with you. This is as it should be, I think?

My family loves me, and I love them so very much. I try to prove to them I am deserving of the love I receive by doing right things and trying my best. 

I do make mistakes and no one is perfect, but love also comes along with forgiveness. 

Your friend,
~Cat


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## Cooking Goddess (Sep 14, 2013)

Cat, thank you for trusting us here at DC with such a wonderful story of your loving Mamma, Papa and DA.  To be loved and wanted is the best feeling in the entire world.  And I think your parents were extra-special letting you move all the way to the U.S. and take care of your DA and become a U.S. citizen.  It must have been difficult to let you go so far from them to make a better life for yourself.  Maybe someday they'll be able to come see you here and experience all the wonders that your new country has to show.


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## CatPat (Sep 14, 2013)

Cooking Goddess said:


> Cat, thank you for trusting us here at DC with such a wonderful story of your loving Mamma, Papa and DA.  To be loved and wanted is the best feeling in the entire world.  And I think your parents were extra-special letting you move all the way to the U.S. and take care of your DA and become a U.S. citizen.  It must have been difficult to let you go so far from them to make a better life for yourself.  Maybe someday they'll be able to come see you here and experience all the wonders that your new country has to show.



But I thank you! I do trust my new family here. You are all so very nice to me and very loving and kind!

Yes, to be loved and to know Mamma and Papa wanted me is a feeling I sometimes am overwhelmed with. In Romania, becoming rescued from of a trash can does not mean the happy life. My parents were not happy of the decision to send one of our family to attend DA but they made the correct decision of their hearts.

I do try to be the responsible daughter. I owe my dearest family so very much. I shall succeed here in some way. I promise I shall!

Mamma did say last month that she and Papa may arrive here for Christmas. I pray so hard for this! 

I have such riches here with DA. Every morning I can hug and kiss her. Through the day I am able to hold her hand at times and to rub her back when she feels the aches of it. In the evening before bedtime, I always hug her and tell her I do love her.

But I do know she is 94. And there are times at night when I feel alone and she is sleeping, I sneak to upstairs to her bedroom to listen to her as she breathes in her sleep. I am afraid of not hearing this one time.

Thank you all! Thank you for hearing me in this website. I pray God will bless everyone here.

Your friend,
~Cat


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## CarolPa (Sep 14, 2013)

PrincessFiona60 said:


> Cat,
> 
> I was also unable to have children of my own.  I married a wonderful man with 3 kids.  I think of them and the grandchildren as my own and our two adopted grandchildren are also in the same place in my heart.  That's the nice thing about hearts...they have infinite space for love.
> 
> ...



PF, I also did not bear children of my own, but raised 2 step-children in our home.  My only grandchild is actually a step grandchild.


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## CarolPa (Sep 14, 2013)

CatPat said:


> I was thrown away in a trash can when I was 2 or 3 days old. A man while walking his dog found me and put me to the hospital. I do not have any papers of my birth. All I have are the adoption papers my parents were required to have for me. January 3 may not be my real birthday. The hospital had to estimate this. Mamma said I was cold and sick when I was received to the hospital. The hospital also records that I was born before the nine months of pregnancy.
> 
> 
> Your friend,
> ~Cat




Cat, this happens quite often in US.  It's such a shame because it is very difficult for American families to find infants to adopt.  By law, if you take an unwanted baby to a hospital or police department there will be no questions asked, you will not be prosecuted, but they still leave them in trash cans, and sometimes kill them instead of giving them for adoption.  I don't understand it.  I am so glad that you were rescued and eventually made your way to our forum.  We are very happy to have you here.


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## CatPat (Sep 14, 2013)

This is wonderful for you, CarolPa!

Your friend,
~Cat


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## PrincessFiona60 (Sep 14, 2013)

CarolPa said:


> PF, I also did not bear children of my own, but raised 2 step-children in our home.  My only grandchild is actually a step grandchild.



I have five step-grandchildren.  We made it easy and got rid of the "steps" and "adopted" labels.

My only Grand Daughter is engaged to be married.  We learned this last night when we called to Colorado to make sure all are okay there.


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## CatPat (Sep 14, 2013)

CarolPa said:


> Cat, this happens quite often in US.  It's such a shame because it is very difficult for American families to find infants to adopt.  By law, if you take an unwanted baby to a hospital or police department there will be no questions asked, you will not be prosecuted, but they still leave them in trash cans, and sometimes kill them instead of giving them for adoption.  I don't understand it.  I am so glad that you were rescued and eventually made your way to our forum.  We are very happy to have you here.



This is here too? This is a terrible thing! 

Thank you! I am happy for being here! Babies are too innocent and too much of miracles for this to happen with them.

Your friend,
~Cat


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## taxlady (Sep 14, 2013)

PrincessFiona60 said:


> I have five step-grandchildren.  We made it easy and got rid of the "steps" and "adopted" labels.
> 
> My only Grand Daughter is engaged to be married.  We learned this last night when we called to Colorado to make sure all are okay there.


w00t!

I assume they were all okay.


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## PrincessFiona60 (Sep 14, 2013)

taxlady said:


> w00t!
> 
> I assume they were all okay.



Oh yes, half of them are in Florida on vacation.  So far they haven't had any problems even though they live east and downstream from Boulder.


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## CatPat (Sep 14, 2013)

There is very much rain and floods there. I wish them to be safe!

Your friend,
~Cat


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## Addie (Sep 14, 2013)

PrincessFiona60 said:


> I have five step-grandchildren.  We made it easy and got rid of the "steps" and "adopted" labels.
> 
> My only Grand Daughter is engaged to be married.  We learned this last night when we called to Colorado to make sure all are okay there.



Wise decision. I hate the expression "step." 

One time someone referred to my oldest daughter as Spike's half sister. That was the first time I had ever heard anyone say that. It never occurred to me that some of my children were "half". My youngest is also a "half" child. Which half? The top half or the bottom? The right half or the left half?  

Step children. Which step? The third one from the bottom or from the top? Which flight of stairs? It sounds like depending of their status in the family which set of steps they get to use. The ones in the back of the house or the front? 

"Ex" is another one. I prefer 'former'. Ex sounds like they were done away with. Wiped out. There are kinder words in our language to use. And some we don't need to be using at all. 

I do hope everyone in Colorado is okay. The situation there looks grim to say the least. Isn't there one of our members saying all summer that they were in need of rain? Prayers for all of them.


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## Addie (Sep 14, 2013)

PrincessFiona60 said:


> Oh yes, half of them are in Florida on vacation.  So far they haven't had any problems even though they live east and downstream from Boulder.



Any chance of them extending their vacation until the worst has passed? Or are they concerned about their homes?


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## CarolPa (Sep 14, 2013)

Addie said:


> Wise decision. I hate the expression "step."
> 
> One time someone referred to my oldest daughter as Spike's half sister. That was the first time I had ever heard anyone say that. It never occurred to me that some of my children were "half". My youngest is also a "half" child. Which half? The top half or the bottom? The right half or the left half?
> 
> ...



I have a half-sister who is much older than I am.  We barely know each other.  Her children are my age.  The thing that makes it more complicated, she married my cousin.  He was not her cousin.  So her children are 100% related to me, on both their mother's side and father's side.


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## Addie (Sep 14, 2013)

CarolPa said:


> I have a half-sister who is much older than I am.  We barely know each other.  Her children are my age.  The thing that makes it more complicated, she married my cousin.  He was not her cousin.  So her children are 100% related to me, on both their mother's side and father's side.



The only time all of this really matters is when you are building a family tree and you have to separate members by a line, or when there is a will involved. Family is family. And the door is always open.


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## CatPat (Sep 14, 2013)

Yes! Family is family with the door open. And I have two families now. All of you on this nice website and my family.

And I am an American! Life is so wonderful!

Your friend,
~Cat


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## CarolPa (Sep 15, 2013)

Addie said:


> The only time all of this really matters is when you are building a family tree and you have to separate members by a line, or when there is a will involved. Family is family. And the door is always open.




That will never be a problem in my family.  When someone dies, the only thing they have to leave is bills.


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## Hoot (Sep 15, 2013)

Addie said:


> I do hope everyone in Colorado is okay. The situation there looks grim to say the least. Isn't there one of our members saying all summer that they were in need of rain? Prayers for all of them.


Mrs Hoot has a sister in Boulder. Talked to her Friday, they are all ok but getting around is all but impossible.


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## PrincessFiona60 (Sep 15, 2013)

My family is fine, many others are not.  Loveland and Longmont have taken big hits with the flooding.  Longmant had large feedlots, they are all lakes now, you can imagine what the water is teaming with.

That "river" in the video is 6' wide creek .

Longmont East to Lefthand River - Aerial Footage 9/13/13 - YouTube


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## CharlieD (Sep 15, 2013)

I think people that adapt are amazing. I have 5 children, but do not know if I could adapt a child, I don't know if I could be as kind or as "mean" (when needed) to a child that did not come from me. I'm afraid I would treat my children better. That is why I think adaptive parents are amazing. They deserve so much credit. Cat, you are lucky to have such wonderful parents. And it is an honor that you called Us your family. We are proud to have such daughter.


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## PrincessFiona60 (Sep 15, 2013)

You said that very well Charlie!


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## CatPat (Sep 15, 2013)

Thank you very, very much! It is always good to be with my family here!

Your friend,
~Cat


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