# Upset Right Now...



## Trip (Aug 3, 2006)

I realize this probibly isn't the place but can't sleep and need to kind of vent... One of my cats died today and I feel like I killed her. I brought her to the vet with what I thought was an abcess which they said worse case scenario might need her to stay over night, then the vet got her and it turned out it is kitty breast cancer, and while they could have removed the infected tumor which was actually the size of a golf ball and hairless (she took all the fur off of it in the last two days), for the nominal fee of $500 chances were she would still have died within 6 mths as they could already feel it had spread through to her other mammories. I then got a pithy little lecture that I waited too long to have her fixed (got it done when she was 2 and not when she was a kitten) and this may not have occured had it been done before her first heat. I sat beside her while they euthanized her as it was already bothering her and was just going to keep getting worse. This was a couple hours ago... and I can't seem to calm down so I thought writing this might help... I'm sorry if this isn't the time or place, just needed to say it...


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## middie (Aug 3, 2006)

Trip I know exactly how you feel. I lost my boxer to cancer back in 2000. I still miss him like crazy. With him it literally came out of nowhere. Within a week he was gone. This isn't your fault. Don't let the lecture bring you down because honestly it sounds like she would have gotten it whether she was fixed earlier or not. I hate to say this but it'll be a long hard road for you. I know, I dwelled for months if I did the right thing for Max or not. I'm still not sure to this day. But if you need to talk I'll be here for you and help you any way I can. I'm so very sorry about your loss.


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## jkath (Aug 3, 2006)

Trip, this is definitely the place to bring this up. Keep in mind, we're family here and we're here to help when you need it. The reason you can't sleep is because you dearly loved her. I think that's completely wonderful that you were able to share a wonderful time with such a sweet pet. Cherish her memory. (((hugs))), jkath


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## kyles (Aug 3, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss. My little kitty means the world to me.

This isn't your fault. Life is full of what ifs and maybes. And I don't think the vet was helpful saying those things to you. 

Your kitty gave you lots of love as you gave her, and I'm sure she was very grateful to ahve you as her owner, and to have you with her when she passed on.

Try and remember the warm cuddles and kitty kisses, and realise that this happened and it's tragic, but it's not your fault.

Hugs and love to you.


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## kadesma (Aug 3, 2006)

_Trip,_
_my heart hurts for you. I know how you feel, when I lost my Max a red doxie, I was in misery for months. I felt I'd been to blame, and although I realise now I wasn't I had to come to that by myself. Don't let the vet or anyone else lay guilt on you, you did what you thought best and what's more you are the one who loved the cat not the vet. Ignore the I know it all lecture and remember your furry friend with love in your heart. There are many of us here who are animal lovers as you are so coming here is a wonderful place to share your hurt and let us try in some small way to make you feel better._

_hugs to you, _
_kadesma_


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## thumpershere2 (Aug 3, 2006)

sorry about your loss of your friend. I would for sure change vets.


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## texasgirl (Aug 3, 2006)

Are you kidding? Just like Jkath said, this IS the place to let it go!! We're here to help, no matter the subject.
Trip, my dog Kasey, died from breast cancer in November. Yes, they say that you can cut the chances of it by getting them spayed young, but, that doesn't always help. Money kept us from doing this and still does. We have 2 more females that need to be fixed, but, are unable to. Your vet should have taken a different route on telling you this instead of using it as an accusation!! They could have said that, for future reference, have your pet spayed early and it can help reduce the possibility of this happening again. I never knew that dogs or cats could get breast cancer. I never thought about anything outside of rabies, distemper and parvo. I have seen them get small tumors in different areas, but, never dreamed that they could get breast cancer, testicular cancer, brain cancer etc....
DO NOT beat yourself up over this!!!! You loved her and she was happy with you! If you hadn't taken her, where would she have been? Maybe she wouldn't even have lived as long without you. You did good in taking her and giving her a home. Be at peace with yourself that you did this and that you cared and loved her for the time you had her!!! You will always learn different things, no matter your age. Use what you learn for the next time. That's all you can do in life.


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## marmalady (Aug 3, 2006)

Hi, Trip; I'm sorry for your loss.  What everyone else said about ignoring what your vet said goes for me too!  And I'd suggest if you have other animals, to shop for a new vet!   Lectures have no place in a crisis; and, in fact, his lecture may have been an uninformed view at the very least.

There is a -lot- of evidence starting to show up re the 'best time' for spaying/neutering pets.  What studies are beginning to show is that the 'growth plates' of the animals don't close until sexual maturation of the animal; thus, very early spaying/neutering prevents the closure of the growth plates at the major joints which can cause very serious problems down the road for the animal.  There are other factors, too, but I don't want to overwhelm you with all the info.  

Just wanted to let you know that there are very well informed alternate opinions on when to spay/neuter, and again to say your ? compassionate vet - had absolutely NO right to lay any kind of trip on you during a crisis with your animal.


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## cjs (Aug 3, 2006)

This is the perfect place for you post - and remember a huge number of us have been where you are  right now, maybe less the guilt you are unjustly feeling right now. What a wonderful life your kitty cat had with you - remember that!!!


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## Andy M. (Aug 3, 2006)

I'm very sorry for your loss.  I lost two dogs to cancer and it feels awful.

You vet must be really special if he/she can predict with any crtainty what would have happened if something had been done at a different time.

He's an idiot.  change vets.


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## ChefJune (Aug 3, 2006)

I'm very sorry for your loss, Trip.  I can't imagine life without my little Julia. She makes me laugh when I'm down, and greets me at the door whenever I return home.  I'd be devastated if something like that happened to her.

Try to focus on all your happy memories of her, and how much she loved you, also. 

Hugs to you!


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## Trip (Aug 3, 2006)

Thanks so much for all your support. I appreciate it. I was apprehensive talking about it here, but DH is upset too, and doesn't need me setting him off, my mother seems to feel I should comfort her as she says salem was her fave of my cats, and my grandmother actually seems to be avoiding me. Rest assured that was not my vet, its just my vet (who I like very much) lives almost a hour away and she was bleeding from the tumor and this is a 24 hour pet clinic while my vet closes at 5pm so wouldn't have been able to get them until today.
I was up until 4am... actually called in sick to work... The Iron Chef set me off when I saw them sewing up a duck last night because it reminded me of the needle... I figured it's probibly best not to try to deal with the public today. I appreciate the other perspective about whether or not to fix cats early, especially as my other female was 2 yrs when I took her in so there was not way I could have gotten to her in time, and when I took Salem in it was because she was a kitten and her eyes were still sealed shut but her mother had been killed and she was walking blindly across a city street because she was a stray, at the time I was only making $7 / hour was on my own and it was all I could do to keep me and my 2 cats in food and liter, fixing at the time wasn't an option. I can't help keep wondering if maybe if I had gotten the surgery... there is always a chance, no matter how minute she might have made it... but $500 and prob not... which I would have had to borrow having just gone back to work last month and playing catch up... then there's the fact that I orig thought it was a fat deposit, so with money being tight, didn't bring her straight to the vet, maybe if we had caught it sooner...
I don't know... ignore the self pity fest... I just can't get over the feeling that I killed her.


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## texasgirl (Aug 3, 2006)

Trip, stop it!! You didn't kill her, the cancer did. You did nothing wrong!
You took her in and gave her a life and a family that loved her. If you hadn't saved her, she would surely been killed by a car or a bigger animal!! She had a great life because of YOU!!!
It know how it feels to have a pet put down and feel as though you should have done more. I had a dog that was bleeding from both ends, vomiting, not able to eat and was very lethargic. I was 20 years old and it was the first time I had been around a sick dog. My MIL told me that it was parvo, as several dogs in the neighborhood had died from it. She was a dog breeder and knew symptoms very well. I didn't have the money to go to a vet and I had called and asked if they could help me and was told by several that I needed at least $200 to have him seen. At the time, my boys were small and dh was making $8 or $9 an hour and I could not afford it. I had to put my sweet snoopy down. Later that day, after having him put down, dh remembered that he had put ant poison out and that maybe he had somehow found it and eaten it. We looked and it looked like he had dug under the fence where it was. Too late!!! I didn't sleep for a week. I had nightmares and cried everyday about that!!! I still think about him and wish that I had had the money and gone to the vet. I don't know if they could have saved him or not. I'll never know,but, all I could think of at the time was how deathly sick he was and he was suffering. That was horrible and I can sympathise with you, but, you have to see it as we do. You loved the kitty, you took care of her and she lived a good life. Sounds to me that she really would have died if you hadn't taken her from the street that day!! It will get easier and when your guilt diminishes, you will see that you did the only thing that you could for her and kept her from suffering any longer. Wishing you peace of mind!!!


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## Trip (Aug 3, 2006)

TY it's nice to know that others who have to put down their pets understand the guilt and it's not just me.


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## pdswife (Aug 3, 2006)

I'm so sorry.   

I agree 100% with Andy M.  They Vet is an idiot!!!  
He should care as much about the animals as their owners.
BOO HISS ON HIM!!!

Hugs for you!


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## cara (Aug 3, 2006)

what a silly vet.... can't understand what makes him say such things.

It's definetely NOT your fault, don't even think in that direction!


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## JoAnn L. (Aug 3, 2006)

We all feel your sorrow. Bless you.


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## SizzlininIN (Aug 3, 2006)

I can't imagine losing my cat Trinket, let alone having to make the decision to end her life.  My heartfelt sympathy goes out to you.  Treasure the memories.


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## Bangbang (Aug 3, 2006)

I have lost 5 dogs in the last 27 years. I know what you are going through. It sucks. Glad you brought this to the forum. Give your self some time to grieve and then get yourself another kitten. I prefer puppies and parrots. My wife gave me a pup on a fathers day 6 months after one of my dogs died 9 years ago and I cried......thinking about my last  dog. I have two nine year old dogs. They are having some health issues now and I know I will end up putting them down in the near future. Ughhh It sucks!


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## middie (Aug 3, 2006)

Trip even if you had the money for the surgery it wouldn't have helped much. The cancer had already spread. Don't take this the wrong way but if you did have the surgery done you'd be out a cat and a couple hundred dollars.
Please don't feel guilty, you did absolutely nothing wrong honey. Just remember the good times you had with her. In time it'll get easier to deal with. You'll never get over it but you can deal with it a little better.


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## Trip (Aug 3, 2006)

Bangbang said:
			
		

> I have lost 5 dogs in the last 27 years. I know what you are going through. It sucks. Glad you brought this to the forum. Give your self some time to grieve and then get yourself another kitten. I prefer puppies and parrots. My wife gave me a pup on a fathers day 6 months after one of my dogs died 9 years ago and I cried......thinking about my last dog. I have two nine year old dogs. They are having some health issues now and I know I will end up putting them down in the near future. Ughhh It sucks!


 
LOL I don't think I need another pet for a long time, until last night had 4 cats and 2 dogs, all rescues.  My sister just moved in too, bringing her puppy who is my puppies sister with her... these were from a puppy mill that got shut down. I live in a regular petting zoo, alot of the neighbourhood kids like to visit just to visit the animals because I live across from low income housing who doesn't allow pets. I don't mind since the animals get attention lavished on them while I watch to make sure contact is all good, and don't have any kids in here that mistreat them. Only had to ban one kid so far after 2 warnings, oddly enough with the cat that just passed away. She was very much a "I want attention when I want it, when I don't leave me be" and he didn't respect her space and tried to chase her down so he wasn't allowed back after he was warned (he's 10, old enough to know better, it's not like there weren't other animals around) and repeated the behaviour. I also volunteer at the SPCA so see lots of animals, I don't want to replace her, don't think I could. Won't say I won't ever get another cat but not for a long while.


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## expatgirl (Aug 3, 2006)

Dear Trip,

This thread brings tears to my eyes as we're real animal lovers--especially cats--I came home one afternoon to find my beloved Tiffany (a silver chinchilla Persian rescued from a flea-feasting free for all he** hole-   in Egypt--the vet said that if another month had gone by she would have been sucked dry) stretched out dead on the lawn.  She was 10 years old and had lived a wonderful life---all she wanted was to sit in your lap and be petted. She loved our garden and loved being adored which she was.  Had it not been for me stopping by that horrible "pet shop" she would have lived for only 3 months instead of the 10 years that we gave her. You gave your cat all the love that you possibly could-no animal could ever ask more of their owner.  Unlike humans I don't think that animals dwell over "What if??"  Our human species beat ourselves with the guilt words "would, should, could, why, what if, etc"---these guys don't---their concerns are when are the owners coming home and when  am I'm going to be fed, when am I going to be petted, etc..  They are here to be loved and taken care of-----NOT to be apologized to.  If you happen to have a yard, buy a plant and or a cat statuary and make a little memorial to her.  I have a girl pushing a wheelbarrow plant holder in my front beds which reminds me of my grandmother who LOVED gardening. If you're in an apartment then buy a plant in her memory.  When you feel up to it, you then should consider getting another cat.  It's okay to grieve--just don't beat yourself up with guilt as well-----maybe your vet was having a bad day.  Glad that you posted.


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## silentmeow (Aug 3, 2006)

Trip, I'm sorry for your loss.  Remember that we do our best to take care of those that depend upon us.  I had a similar situation and the vet actually made me feel quilty because I stopped the tests and such when the cost hit $800.00.  I had her put down gently while she was in my arms.  I can still see her trusting blue eyes.  Another thought, I lost two of my beauties because the new neighbors didn't like bugs, (we live in the country) so they sprayed their lawn and trees and flowers and my cats got tumors.  No one for sure can pinpoint the reason.  You gave her a home with love, that makes you a special person.  Don't tear yourself apart with guilt.


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## In the Kitchen (Aug 3, 2006)

*Time*

Must be time of year for sorrow.  Had to put our one dog down as diabetes seemed to affect her back legs and her daily potty habits.  After almost 6 months of having to keep her from coming inside because of these accidents, I couldn't take it when I saw her trying to catch a rabbit and dragging her legs.  I thought why is she living anymore.  She knew it wasn't her fault what was happening and the durn weather was so hot I let her sleep inside at night.  She was so grateful.  I am really down down about her absence.  She had such a young spirit.  Even going to the vet she started crying like she was happy to be going someplace.  You don't think that broke my heart.  I know the vet so well and knew he wanted me to let him be alone w/her.  The other two seem okay but always going in yard thinking she is out there.  I wasn't going to mention it until I read your comments and share the same deep pain you must have.  My son showed no emotion and when I asked him if he liked the dog? He said  she had good life.  All you can do is think of the time you shared w/her.  The other vet in the same office advised me to put her down when they first took test and found out diabetes.  I resent him to this day.  The regular vet has been taking care of all my dogs for almost 30 years.  He doesn't like to have to do it but he knows the animal doesn't want to live w/no future.  She never would get better.  Doctor told me just have to work w/how the diabetes affects her.  Other dog got more insulin and has had diabetes for almost 7 years now.  She was sister to the one that was put down.  

Thanks for taking time to share w/us.  Most of us are animal lovers some more so than the rest.  Be happy that you have other lives around you.  I am glad you watch the kids w/your pets.  Never ever take your eyes off them.  Things can happen so fast no matter how well you mean.  This is bad day for me.  That void is not soothed w/ anything but time.  Don't you think we will get to see them again?  I do.  I know she will remember me cause I loved her so much and she loved me too.  People always disappoint me like your doctor but my animals give me unconditional love.   I just wonder why the guy is an animal doctor.  Sure is in wrong place.  So calleous and insensitive.  Even if I smell bad and don't look good.  

Be good to yourself. You know she would want you to.  She doesn't fault you for what happened.  If only they could talk and tell you how they felt.


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## jpmcgrew (Aug 3, 2006)

Im so sorry for your loss Im weeping also because that kind of pain is all too real and almost unbearable.I cant say anything more then what everyone else has said.There is no worse feeling then losing a pet.
Dont feel guilty it was not your fault.Like I always say you fall in love with them and then thay break your heart.But it's more courageous to let them go before they suffer too much.Last summer I lost my redbone totally unexpected.
But think of this, first of all you saved her from a sure death when you found her and gave her a wonderful life.If you get another rescue pet you are doing them the biggest favor of all,first you literally save their lives and then give them the best life ever no matter how long they live, it's all they could wish for and thats your greatest gift to them and in return they love you forever.


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## Trip (Aug 5, 2006)

Thanks all for the chin ups... still in a realllllly less then pleasant mood but at least not crying at the drop of a hat anymore... started looking though some pics of her (this is her as my avatar), she like to crawl into beds and blankets, I actually had a painting done using my avatar pic... miss her like crazy, she was my alarm clock lol but I'm trying to be reasonable about the guilt issue. Thanks for all those who tried to help.


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## expatgirl (Aug 5, 2006)

What a cutie!!!!!!!!!!!!  Glad to hear that you're slowly coming to terms---sometimes when I sit down at the computer I miss my Tiffany--she would always climb into my lap and my job was to pet her---emailing and googling came second.  Love comes in so many different ways----furry or not.  Hang in there, Trip.


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## Half Baked (Aug 5, 2006)

Trip, we had to have our beloved dog, Skeeter, put down at 4:45 on Friday. My heart is absolutely broken. I am going through a tough time so I can definately idenify with your pain.

I'm sorry but I'd change vets, also. During the trauma of holding my Skeeter as he eased into his heaven, had the vet begun to give me a lecture, I would have choked him, literally.

My heart aches for you. Time eases the pain but she'll live in your heart forever.

She's beautiful.


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## expatgirl (Aug 5, 2006)

Dear Half-Baked,

I'm so sorry to hear of Skeeter's loss---my heart really goes out to you, too.


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## Half Baked (Aug 5, 2006)

Thank you very much.  It's a sad time at our house but he is in a better world.  

Trip and In the Kitchen, I'm so sorry for you both.


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## Trip (Aug 5, 2006)

I'm sorry to hear about your pet... I can definately relate to the pain, and I don't wish it on anyone. As for the vet, he's not my usual one, but one at the clinic, it was an emergency so didn't want to wait until the next day as the tumor was actually bleeding. When I called and asked if I could come in they though she had scrapped with one of my other cats and that it was probibly abcess.


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## Snoop Puss (Aug 6, 2006)

Hello Trip. I had to have one of my cats put down by the vet a few months ago. I too felt somehow to blame for not doing something earlier but the problem was not evident in its early stages. Like you, I too took my cat in when she was far too small to survive on her own after the death of her mother.

Cats taken in like this usually bond very closely to humans, but I also recognise that being without their mother's milk at such a young age - and in the case of my cat, starving for ten days before I came across her (I knew the mother [a stray in the neighbourhood] and found her dead but had no idea where the kittens were) - gives them a bad start in life. I've taken in a few cats like this in my life and they've all had health problems or died young. But they were/are affectionate companions and I don't regret taking any of them in.

The other thing I'd say is that cats are very tolerant of pain. When they start to let you know or it becomes evident that something is wrong, by that stage it's often very serious. You shouldn't blame yourself and neither should the vet. And you can disregard the vet's words: they would know nothing of your cat's circumstances nor your relationship with her.

Trip, you did your cat a tremendous favour by taking her in and I'm sure she enjoyed her life with you.


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## DaCook (Aug 6, 2006)

Funny thing. In humans they say that the earlier you have children and breast feed, the less chance of risk cancer there is. I know this because I have lost some to breast cancer, but also have a survivor in my family. Can't see that it should be so much different with critters.


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## Lynan (Aug 6, 2006)

You musn't feel guilty Trip...and as Andy M and others have said, change your vet. What a poor excuse for an animal healer he is. 
It is absolutely NOT your fault that this happened to your kitty anymore than if you had discovered a breast lump on yourself even with faithful checking. It happens... 
I feel your pain at having lost a precious friend and that pain is as real as if it were a human friend that had passed. 

(((((((((hugs)))))))))


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## Trip (Aug 7, 2006)

Snoop Puss said:
			
		

> Hello Trip. I had to have one of my cats put down by the vet a few months ago. I too felt somehow to blame for not doing something earlier but the problem was not evident in its early stages. Like you, I too took my cat in when she was far too small to survive on her own after the death of her mother.
> 
> Cats taken in like this usually bond very closely to humans, but I also recognise that being without their mother's milk at such a young age - and in the case of my cat, starving for ten days before I came across her (I knew the mother [a stray in the neighbourhood] and found her dead but had no idea where the kittens were) - gives them a bad start in life. I've taken in a few cats like this in my life and they've all had health problems or died young. But they were/are affectionate companions and I don't regret taking any of them in.
> 
> ...


 
Oddly enough except she was very sensitive to changes in her diet, she was probibly  what would be considered an extremely healthy cat... That's prob why this has hit soooo hard as I didn't even see it coming.
Last year I had paintings done of all my pets and haven't framed them yet, so am hoping to do that soon.  I'm also hoping in the new year to invest in pet health insurance, that way I never have to make this choice again, if they think there is even a minute chance that surgery may help, I'll get it... I've been putting off the insurance as its expensive but not anymore.


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## Claire (Aug 7, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss, and very sorry that you have a vet who is that thoughtless.  Please change vets.  We can't always afford or want to take our pets in for the expensive and time-consuming care the vets think they need (in order for the vet to be wealthy).  Don't get me wrong, I love my vet, but she knows the limitations, and when I had to put my JR 16 year old dog down, she'd diagnosed the problem and agreed with our choices right to the day I got my husband to agree to putting her down (a day later than I'd have done it).  You cannot second guess these decisions and to me it is best to leave a vet who thinks you should.  Having a beloved companion die is difficult enough without going through that.


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## fluteplayer (Aug 7, 2006)

Trip, as I write I keep wiping my eyes so I can see the keyboard. I am sorry for your loss and Skeeter's too.  You can never blame yourself for not knowing or having been too late. Over 2 years ago my beautiful 6yr. old German Shepherd Koko(short for Kokopelli) got a bump on her front leg and the minute we noticed she was at the vet. They told us she had bone cancer. I never heard of shepherds or any other dogs getting bone cancer.
I knew abut parvo and hip displasia etc. but never cancer. The vet said if we did nothing she would be gone in 2 months and I would be very painful and her leg could break at any time cuz it would be so brittle. So we spent over $4000 to have it amputated and give her Chemo and best odds she could live maybe 6 more years. After she first recovered it was like she had never even had 4 legs. She could do Everything as before even frisbee! We we very lucky to have her 3 more months. She had a stroke and couldn't use any of her legs.
Our vet came to my house and said he could do nothing. We held her as he gave her the shot and watched her beautiful brown eyes close. She is with me as we buried her in the back yard next to the German Shepherd Pepper ,who was 15 when the same vet came to the house to put her down.
along with my 2 rabbits and my Iguana. We have pet memorials or special plants for them in the yard. My vet is the most wonderful vet alive! He held her with us and cried like a baby with me and my husband and some dear friends. The vets office sent us a sympathy card and never billed us for any of that awful time. I wish you could know my vet as he would definitely have helped you thru this in the right way. our house was very empty and sad as we had no other pets.(We don't have kids)  I could not take the silence and my house almost became dog-hair free. We have 2 beautiful 2yr old German Shepherds today named Cagney and Lacey. Every time I look at our family picture of my husband and I and Koko it hurts still, some days more than others. Time does heal all wounds its  just a long road going.

Take care and kiss all your other fur children for me.


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## jpmcgrew (Aug 7, 2006)

Wow!Flute and Trip that was really sad.This site is amazing not only do we have a passion for food but we are all the greatest of animal lovers.We all have had our losses but as long as we do everything we can to make our little creatures happy that is the greatest gift we can give no matter how long they are here.That does not mean it is any easier it never isThats the best we can do even though we want to do more.My 3 dogs and 2 cats are all rescues and spoiled to no end.Yet I can not control when they get really ill.If it's really bad it is better to let them go before they suffer too much and that is a really hard thing to do.I hate loosing a pet and have not forgotten any of them and always say I will not get another one but then I think I have an opening here so when the next one comes across thats it, I will take it in.I dont actively try to replace them but it seems certain ones cross your path and you get a gut feeling so you take them home thinking l will find them a home and yet what better home than yours.So you kinda try to find them a home and yet for me but the more time you spend with them how can you send them off to some place when you are already have already bonded with them?
I dont know what I would do if I had to make a choice of spending alot of money I dont have to save a pet for a few more months.
Sometimes it's a matter of prolonging the enevitable because WE dont want to lose our friends and be so incrediably broken hearted.
Any way the bottom line is give them the best most fun life and all the love they deserve and all the toys and treats they can handle,


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## kitchenelf (Aug 8, 2006)

Awwwwwwwwww Trip!!!!  I'm so sorry.  I had to put one of my cats to sleep last year - wept like a baby but there really wasn't another choice.  It's not your fault at all.  Things happen in life and that's just the way it is.  Don't let anyone blame you EVER for what happened.  It's a very difficult thing when we know our animals are helpless and someone makes it our fault because we didn't just KNOW.  Well, we can't just know.  We will NEVER just know.  It's hard and difficult to come to terms with but you just have to feel good in loving your animal and making it a part of your life.  It had a better life with you and that IS all we can do.  I lost two cats last year; one my son "found" in the bathroom - we had been gone for a couple of days - talk about feeling guilty but really, how  could I have done anything different?  How could I have done anything different for the one with a tumor on its lungs.  We just can't do anything different.  We love them while they are here and we miss them terribly when they are gone.  

Hugs to you and 

And this is for you and anyone else - you post anything anywhere you want when you are upset around here - the wonderful people here who watch after the site will find the right place for it and everyone will be redirected to that place.  ANYPLACE here is a good place to post when you need a few friends to surround you.


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## lindatooo (Aug 8, 2006)

Cancer is not your fault.  I have a DF with stage 4 Ovarian cancer and I can tell you pets suffer no less from the treatments (chemo - etc) than humans except they can't understand why they are so miserable and don't understand "it will get better".  

As far as spaying early - we had a Dobie spayed before her first heat and she ended up with bladder weakness (she leaked when she slept, poor thing) and had to take birth control pills and the vet said that was caused by early spaying!

The only downside to having these wonderful creatures is how much it hurts when we have to let them go - but you did the right thing.  She will be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge.

Hugs and sympathy,


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## urmaniac13 (Aug 8, 2006)

Sorry Trip I just came across this thread, I have been scarce a lot this past week, as I also encountered a health problem with my little hamster. I know it is heartbreaking... my little one is very old, and even though he made a miraculous recovery from a stroke a few days ago, he also has a growth just inside his ears and chances are not much can be done about it. The important thing is that we provide our pets the best possible life, make sure they are happy and safe, and that they know that they are loved. I am sure you have done that with your kitty... even though right now you are inclined to unjustly blame yourself, but when you think about all the happy sweet memories, how she loved you, you will be able to see that.

There comes a time for all your loved ones when they have to leave and to move on to another place... I left a little message about this where her picture is on the gallery, please take a look... I hope and believe it will be a comfort to you.


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## Trip (Aug 8, 2006)

I read the poem, like it alot. Thanks.


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## Chief Longwind Of The North (Aug 8, 2006)

They say that hindsight is 20-20.  In this case, I dissagree.  You couldn't have known what was happening to your cat.  all creatures upon our little blue orb are complex creatures whose health depends on so many factors, everything from the genes inherited, to the substances that the parent ate or was exposed to.  Thing like air quality, environmental toxins, or just plain genetic makeup all play a role on the health of every living creature, including us.

Your cat had a personality, a spirit.  And just as with our own spirits, I believe that the cohesive energy that defines who we are continues after our physical bodies are no long viable.  I truly don't kow if there is a heaven for cats, or even for us.  I believe that there is.  But I do know that energy can not be destroyed.  And something goes away when the body is no longer animated.  I believe that the spirit lives on.

As for you feeling sorry for yourself, or second guessing your past actions, only when you have all of the information can you look back and determine if you were right or wrong.  And niether you nor I have that kind of knowledge available to use, nor does your emergency vet.  He was at best rude, and was definitely irresponsible in how he treated you.

And as for spaying animals, yes it's a better solution than having loads of kittens that you can't afford, and then letting them loose as ferral cats.  But it's still the same thing as getting a hysterectomy for a woman, or getting fixed as a guy.  And the cat isn't given an option.  It's made for him/her.  I think people tend to take such things too lightly.  We like to push our ideas on everybody and everything.  And look where that's gotten us in this world.

You took the cat in when its life hung by a thread.  You nurtured it and gave it love.  That it was taken early is sorrowful as the cat was your freind.  But it is certainly not your fault.  You did all that was in your power, with the resources you had.  To that cat, you were its hero, and more importantly, its freind.

Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


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## jpmcgrew (Aug 8, 2006)

Well said GW you found the words that I could not, what you said is in my heart but I couldnt find the words.


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## Trip (Aug 14, 2006)

Definately am starting to put it in perspective... spent the weekend operating a charity bar b q for the local SPCA, raised over 600$... so if I couldn't save her I'm working on some of the others. Thanks all for your support.


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## Lynan (Aug 14, 2006)

That is wonderful Trip!! Wow...$600 is a heap of money and will be so welcome for sure.  And I just know it makes your heart warm too.


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## Trip (Aug 14, 2006)

http://www.ospcacornwall.ca/home.php

This is tthe shelter I work with if your interested...


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## Zlatko (Aug 14, 2006)

i'm sure your cat, while in your company, could not have asked for a better life

i also have love for cats


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## Ellen (Aug 14, 2006)

My little Tua was stolen from our place when he was four years old.  He was an Affenpincher and never spent a day apart from me.  I was devastated.  Not a common breed here but in spite of that we never found him. That was on 8th Dec '04.  Now I have Daisy, same breed, but a breeders discard.  She had a c/section and all her puppies died.  Daisy was a nervous wreck when she came to me, at 2 years, but slowly healed over months to a bright little personality.  She still hates all men except DH and is sharing my chair as I write.  Loving is always a risk, who can tell how long she will be with me.

The only person in your sad tale who should feel guilty is that dreadful vet. S/he has added immeasureably to your pain and grief in a callous and unforgivable way.  I am doubly sorry for you for that.


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## kitchenelf (Aug 14, 2006)

What a great thing for you to do Trip!  

I re-read your original post as this whole thread has been on my mind lately.  I wasn't there and don't know the intonations used or attitude while telling you; but, do you think that the vet was simply giving you that information for future use or reference...so you would know in case you got another kitty?  I was just thinking about that and thought I would mention it.  I would like to think the vet wasn't trying to make you feel like a bad person but rather giving you a tip - even if it was extremely bad timing.  I never knew this could happen if a cat wasn't spayed soon enough.  My sister got a ferret and no one ever told her the female would die if it didn't mate by 6 months of age (or maybe it's the male, I can't remember).  Well, guess what, the ferret died and THEN she was told that.  

But, aside from all that your cat had a great life with you - and in the end that's all we can - love our animals and treat them well.


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