# Life begins at 40?



## Mel! (May 2, 2012)

Do you agree that life begins at 4o? Give reasons for you opinion.


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## Andy M. (May 2, 2012)

Mel! said:


> Do you agree that life begins at 4o? Give reasons for you opinion.




Interesting phrase.  It was probably coined by someone at or around 40 years old who was trying to feel better about aging.

In my opinion, any day above ground is a good day. How good is up to you.


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## Addie (May 2, 2012)

My life didn't begin at 40, it just changed. The kids were grown, I no longer was cooking for an army, the house stayed cleaner longer, leaving me time to do the things I always wanted to do. And I did them.


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## Katie H (May 2, 2012)

Gee!  I passed 40 more than 20 years ago and I can barely remember what that age was like.  I DO know that we still had a house full and that Buck and I were working multiple jobs.  At "my" 40 I was too busy to contemplate whether or not life was beginning.

I've had many "beginnings" in my lifetime and, like Andy, I'm grateful for each day I'm here.  I've nearly died four times and I like this side of the world whole muches.  I hope I have nine lives, because I plan on being here for a lot longer.

Now, I've been retired for nearly three years and it's as close to perfect as I could imagine.  Every day _can be_ Friday if I want it to be.  I haven't worn a watch most of these three years and I don't miss it.  I used to wake up at night and glance at the clock to see how much more time I had to get some sleep.  Not any more!!!!  By golly, if I want to take a nap in the middle of the day...I do.

If I want to stay up until the wee hours watching TV, reading or whatever, there's no consequence and I can sleep until lunchtime to get my rest.  Conversely, going to bed early has also been on my agenda.

When the spirit moves us and we want to hop on our Harley and ride where the wind takes us, we can gear up, lock the doors and fly down the road.

As for life beginning at 40, guess everyone has their own definition of what that would be.  Mine happened, but not at 40.

Another possibility is that, after Buck's death, my life began again when Glenn became part of it.

There are all sorts of possibilities.


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## Steve Kroll (May 2, 2012)

Maybe a better way to phrase it is "Life doesn't end at 40."

I've met far too many people who seem to think otherwise.


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## Alix (May 2, 2012)

My Mom told me that at 40 she stopped caring so much about what people thought of her and just did and said what she liked. Perhaps 40 means a loss of inhibition?


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## Mel! (May 3, 2012)

Addie said:


> My life didn't begin at 40, it just changed. The kids were grown, I no longer was cooking for an army, the house stayed cleaner longer, leaving me time to do the things I always wanted to do. And I did them.


 Yeah, same with me. 

One thing I miss about being younger, is being able to see the world and people with innocenct eyes. It really is true, that ignorance is bliss. But, maybe there is some advantage to my new found cynical outlook? Maturity has some advantages, surely?


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## Mel! (May 3, 2012)

Steve Kroll said:


> Maybe a better way to phrase it is "Life doesn't end at 40."


Ha! Yeah! I remember being amazed that life still held surprises for me, after I was 30. I thought, now that I reached 30, life is going to go on the same for many years. Within the following 5 years, it was like somebody turned my life upside down and shock it, and then it fell back together in a completely different way.


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## 4meandthem (May 3, 2012)

For me my twenties were a blast even though I didn't have a pot to piss in. No cares or worries!

My thirties was all about being married and trying to conquer the world.
(I came close to the later-I thought)

My forties are all about raising my kids and trying to keep heathy so I can see them grow up. I agree with the not caring about what others think of you anymore and being comfortable with yourself and who you are.


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## LPBeier (May 3, 2012)

I guess I would have to say for me life doesn't "begin", but every  challenge and accomplishment I get through I am stronger.  My paternal  grandmother died at 72 of breast cancer and heart complications.  Her  life motto was "you are as *young* as you feel".  Right up to the day  she died my grandmother was young.  We did some amazing things together!

For me, at 40 I was in an extremely abusive marriage, I was battling a couple of different types of depression, was trying to stay one step ahead of the creditors but was on a government handicap pension and only able to work for an extra $100 a month. I think I would have loved my life to end (the life I was living, not necessarily life itself).

Since then I got out of the marriage, married someone I had known for years as a friend, battled osteoarthritis and other new challenges, survived and graduated from culinary school (45), work for a caterer and then catered on my own for five years, looked after my Dad and despite everything going on have never felt better in my life (I am 53).


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## gabagoo (May 3, 2012)

I think what I noticed once I was in my forties was that for the first time in my life I felt like I was finally being treated like an adult by society as a whole.  

Now I cringe when people call me sir or address me by my last name with Mr in front.....

Now I am 54 and still feel very young mentally but physically I suffer from old man grunt.


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## Andy M. (May 3, 2012)

Must be a trend.  My 40s sucked.  My marriage went downhill to a divorce, I was always broke and got laid off from a great job.

My 50s and 60s, on the other hand, have been great.  Met my SO (turned my life around), watched my kids become great adults and have been enjoying my grandson.


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## Steve Kroll (May 3, 2012)

My 30s were nothing to write home about, but I enjoyed my 40s quite a bit. I spent those years watching my spazzy kid develop into a wonderful and intelligent young lady. I also had enough money for the first time in my life to do some of the things I hadn't been able to previously. The wife and I made a few trips to far away places, and we were finally able to sink some money into our home and investments.

My 50s so far have been okay, but I can definitely feel myself slowing down. The sudden bouts of forgetfulness are a little troubling as well. Nothing worse than opening the door of the fridge and forgetting what you were in there for. Or not being able to recall a word you've used a thousand times before. That one drives me nuts.


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## PrincessFiona60 (May 3, 2012)

At 40 I embarked on a new adventure.  Finished nursing school and found the vocation of a lifetime.


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## Merlot (May 3, 2012)

Well, I am turning 40 in October this year.  I definitely have something in my life that I want to change, I hope I have the courage to do so before life passes me by.


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## Greg Who Cooks (May 3, 2012)

Mel! said:


> Do you agree that life begins at 4o? Give reasons for you opinion.


Life begins when they slap you on the back, wipe the mucous out of your mouth and ink and stick your foot on the birth certificate. It ends when you give out your last gasp.



Steve Kroll said:


> Maybe a better way to phrase it is "Life doesn't end at 40."


That's a far more productive way to state it, from a person who is now far south of 40.

For those of you under 40, life is no less precious just because you have 4 decades behind you. In fact I wonder if life does not get more precious every year. It's just you don't think about it much under 40, or at least I didn't.



gabagoo said:


> Now I cringe when people call me sir or address me by my last name with Mr in front.....


I always tell folks, "You must be confusing me with my father, Mr. ....." I'm just plain Greg.


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## LPBeier (May 3, 2012)

PrincessFiona60 said:


> At 40 I embarked on a new adventure.  Finished nursing school and found the vocation of a lifetime.


You in nursing, me in culinary school (actually I was 45)!  Yay for the the 40's at least for jump starting careers!


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## PrincessFiona60 (May 3, 2012)

LPBeier said:


> You in nursing, me in culinary school (actually I was 45)!  Yay for the the 40's at least for jumps tarting careers!



That was a different career...

<ducking and running>


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## LPBeier (May 3, 2012)

PrincessFiona60 said:


> That was a different career...
> 
> <ducking and running>


That was my mouse and keyboard's fault.  My spell checker wanted a space in the word and my mouse put it in the wrong place! 

"That's my story and I am sticking to it!"


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## PrincessFiona60 (May 3, 2012)

LPBeier said:


> That was my mouse and keyboard's fault.  My spell checker wanted a space in the word and my mouse put it in the wrong place!
> 
> "That's my story and I am sticking to it!"



My spell checker always wants to spell my last name as "Ambiguous."


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## Addie (May 4, 2012)

After 40, I finally learned to say "No" to my kids. No, I don't have a couple of hundred dollars so you can buy a ticket to a concert where you can't even hear the music. Go to work and earn the money yourself. I need my money for traveling.

"No, I will not use my vaction time to babysit your kids while you go to Mexico for your vaction." 

"No, I will not buy designer jeans for your kids for Christmas. They will get what I give them."

But in exchange, I started to develop a new arse ache each day. Who cares! I was off to wherever my newfound freedom was taking me. And spending *my* money on* me.*


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## buckytom (May 4, 2012)

my second life began at 40. ok, well, 39 and 1/2.

dw and i had our son 6 months before my 40th birthday. before that, i lived a (what seems like now a) selfish life. it was all about experiencing life, having fun, working hard, and learning as i went along, no pressure or real responsibility. but in retrospect, it was all about me.

then my boy was born, and now to my great delight, nothing is about me but rather what i can teach from those years of experience, and what i can give back to both my family and my community. 

i don't know what i did to deserve such a great gift as a wife and a son, but i wouldn't trade it for the world.

so yes, my life, my second life, began around 40.


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## Margi Cintrano (May 4, 2012)

Good Morning,

Truly interesting post ... 

I aim and look at life in an extraordinaire manner, with a positive attitude in all I do and an openess as I learn something new daily. 

I was born in 1962, thus, I had the gals when I was 18 ... They are 10 months apart. 

I was involved in their upbringing, studying at same time and we lived abroad several years too ... and travelled extensively. Now the Gals are moms themselves and I am about to leave the my 40s ... 

We do not look at the age factor as some people at 40 are really 90 in their mentality and the way they do not take care of their health & bodies and some at 50 are 30 ... we look at making use of every moment of our day, and enjoying all we do ... 

Have some wkend. 
39 Forever, 
Margi.


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## Mel! (May 5, 2012)

Steve Kroll said:


> ... The sudden bouts of forgetfulness are a little troubling as well. Nothing worse than opening the door of the fridge and forgetting what you were in there for. Or not being able to recall a word you've used a thousand times before. That one drives me nuts.



That's been happening to me all my life, and is still happening. I am easily distracted. It used to drive my school teachers nuts.


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## Mel! (May 5, 2012)

PrincessFiona60 said:


> At 40 I embarked on a new adventure.  Finished nursing school and found the vocation of a lifetime.



Wow! That is incredible! I have been wondering if I am now too old to start things, that are usually what way younger people do. Maybe, the 'it is never too late' cliche is true, afterall. 

You dont look a day older than 40, in your profile pic.


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## taxlady (May 5, 2012)

PrincessFiona60 said:


> My spell checker always wants to spell my last name as "Ambiguous."


My spell checker lets me add words. My long, unusual last name is usually one of the first things that I add to a new spell checker.


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## PrincessFiona60 (May 5, 2012)

Mel! said:


> Wow! That is incredible! I have been wondering if I am now too old to start things, that are usually what way younger people do. Maybe, the 'it is never too late' cliche is true, afterall.
> 
> You dont look a day older than 40, in your profile pic.



Thanks Mel, I will be 52 this year.  I started nursing school when I was 35, did the 4 year with a Bachelor's degree.  If I can do it, anyone can.  Before that I had been a cook and cashier.  Took a stint in the nursing home as a nurse's aide to decide what I wanted to be when I grew up.


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## PrincessFiona60 (May 5, 2012)

taxlady said:


> My spell checker lets me add words. My long, unusual last name is usually one of the first things that I add to a new spell checker.



I know, but it cracks me up and I'm easily entertained.


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## Margi Cintrano (May 5, 2012)

*@ Princess Fiona:  You Are An Inspiration*

 Fiona,

I have been meaning to let you know that I have read your awesome and inspiring story about returning to Nursing Institute at the age of 40. 

Your passion, the extensive hard labor put in to studying and learning and motivation to become a Nurse is amazing and for certain, you have accomplished your Professional Dream and have helped uncountable people in need and are continuing to do so. 

Wonderful. 

Have lovely wkend, 
Margi. Cintrano.


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## Barbara L (May 5, 2012)

Life begins when you start living it.    I think 40 is kind of a turning point for many people. Kind of a mixture of youthful exuberance and wisdom that comes with age. I became a grandmother at 40. I was around 40 when I first experienced the Internet, both the bad and good (I put bad first for a reason!). I was around 40 when I devoted my life more fully to Jesus. 

I definitely believe in living in the present, planning (but not over-planning) for the future, and not dwelling on the past.


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## PrincessFiona60 (May 5, 2012)

Margi Cintrano said:


> Fiona,
> 
> I have been meaning to let you know that I have read your awesome and inspiring story about returning to Nursing Institute at the age of 40.
> 
> ...



Thank you Margi!  It has been fun and I love my job.


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## Mel! (May 7, 2012)

Addie said:


> After 40, I finally learned to say "No" to my kids. No, I don't have a couple of hundred dollars so you can buy a ticket to a concert where you can't even hear the music. Go to work and earn the money yourself. I need my money for traveling.


I told my 11 year old daughter about this post. She says, I already know too well  how to say no. She claims, I need to learn how to say yes to all the things she wants. 

I love to travel too, and she has come on a bunch of trips with me, and I am well proud of showing her some of the world. Sometimes, I go alone, when I cant afford to take  her too, and she strongly objects to this, even though I provide her with some fun and games with her friends, that costs a less than taking her accross the world. I though, it was a good compensation for her to give her something to do with her friends, because she sometimes says she is bored, when I take her travelling. I am comming to the conclusion that what is available to her is what she will declare boring, and what is not currently available becomes a must have for her.


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## Mel! (May 7, 2012)

Margi Cintrano said:


> Fiona,
> 
> I have been meaning to let you know that I have read your awesome and inspiring story about returning to Nursing Institute at the age of 40.



Has anyone experienced ageism, when changing careers, when they are over 40? I read, it is an experience that those over 40 have in workplaces, but maybe times are changing, and companies are becomming more openminded? Life experience, hopefully counts for something.


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## Mel! (May 7, 2012)

Barbara L said:


> (I put bad first for a reason!).



Id be interested in hearing what folks consider to be the bad of the internet. I am aware of what a good thing it is to have information at your fingertips in your own livingroom is. 

I suppose, I am also aware of what the bads of the internet are, as I am a member of a lot of internet sites, and I have been a moderator on a few of them, and worked as an administrator on one of them for a few years, but what is other peoples take on what is bad about the internet. I will post what I think are the bads a bit later.


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## Steve Kroll (May 7, 2012)

Mel! said:


> Has anyone experienced ageism, when changing careers, when they are over 40? I read, it is an experience that those over 40 have in workplaces, but maybe times are changing, and companies are becomming more openminded? Life experience, hopefully counts for something.


No issues where I work. In fact, quite the opposite. I've found my employer to be very welcoming toward employees with... um... "more life experience".


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## Addie (May 7, 2012)

Mel! said:


> Has anyone experienced ageism, when changing careers, when they are over 40? I read, it is an experience that those over 40 have in workplaces, but maybe times are changing, and companies are becoming more open minded? Life experience, hopefully counts for something.


 
During my working days I was a Professional Temp Worker. After 40, I found that more employees were asking for older workers. Maybe it was my work ethic, but I was offered more permanent positions after 40. I chose not to take them. I liked being a temp worker. I could pick and choose what jobs I would take and which ones I would turn down. I made a big difference in the insurance industry. It was time for the company I was working for to have an audit of their books. I put together a three-ring binder, of all the documents they would require in the order that they would need them. Each auditor received their own binder. They were so impressed that it was decided to make this presentation required for any audit for all future companies.

I also set up a filing system for a pharmaceutical company that is now used world wide throughout the company. Their filing system was in such disarray that it could take you as long as a week to find what you wanted. And these files were for their trials of new drugs. I was horrified. I was originally hired for data entry. When my work got slow, I asked to go into the filing room. I never came out until the job was finished and left the company. That was three years later. 

No, I never was the victim of age discrimination. Just the opposite.


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## Addie (May 7, 2012)

Mel! said:


> Id be interested in hearing what folks consider to be the bad of the internet. I am aware of what a good thing it is to have information at your fingertips in your own livingroom is.
> 
> I suppose, I am also aware of what the bads of the internet are, as I am a member of a lot of internet sites, and I have been a moderator on a few of them, and worked as an administrator on one of them for a few years, but what is other peoples take on what is bad about the internet. I will post what I think are the bads a bit later.


 
Identity theft. And yes, it can happen on the internet.


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## taxlady (May 7, 2012)

Mel! said:


> Has anyone experienced ageism, when changing careers, when they are over 40? I read, it is an experience that those over 40 have in workplaces, but maybe times are changing, and companies are becomming more openminded? Life experience, hopefully counts for something.


My husband is a software programmer/systems analyst. He has been experiencing ageism since about the time he turned 40. Job turnover is high in the software world. It's been a pain in the patooty. So, he didn't even need to change career to experience it.


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## PrincessFiona60 (May 7, 2012)

I had more problems with ageism in college and nursing school than I have had in actual jobs.  More was expected of me in regular college classes by some instructors and nurses eat their young...not fun.  I was EXPECTED to fail in nursing school, made me so mad I came out at the top of my class.


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## Mel! (May 12, 2012)

Addie said:


> Identity theft. And yes, it can happen on the internet.


Has anyone here experienced this, or know of somebody who has? If so, what did they do with your identity?

I know of one guy who found photos belonging to him, of his friends, on a strangers FaceBook page. The stranger was saying they are his own friends. A very weird and pathetic theft...


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## Mel! (May 12, 2012)

taxlady said:


> My husband is a software programmer/systems analyst. He has been experiencing ageism since about the time he turned 40. Job turnover is high in the software world. It's been a pain in the patooty. So, he didn't even need to change career to experience it.



I think, the IT industry is particularly bad for not just ageism, but other types of negative office poltics too. I put it down mostly, to the high job turnover. As soon as you get to know who the nutcases are, and figure out how to protect yourself from them, they move to another department or company to torment more unaware people, and are replaced by new nutcases in  your own department. 
My qualification is in IT. I worked for a couple of differnet companies, as a trainer, technician and quality co-ordinator. It is almost best to not work at all, than to work in those crazy war zones, in my opinion. Well, better for the  health anyway, if not for the bank account.


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## Mel! (May 12, 2012)

PrincessFiona60 said:


> I had more problems with ageism in college and nursing school than I have had in actual jobs.  More was expected of me in regular college classes by some instructors and nurses eat their young...not fun.  I was EXPECTED to fail in nursing school, made me so mad I came out at the top of my class.


Geez, those teachers should get on with their teaching, and not with their judging people about their ages or any other personal stuff. At least, you got past it, to get to your great vocation. That has to feel like such a great achievement for you!


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## Addie (May 12, 2012)

Mel! said:


> Has anyone here experienced this, or know of somebody who has? If so, what did they do with your identity?
> 
> I know of one guy who found photos belonging to him, of his friends, on a strangers FaceBook page. The stranger was saying they are his own friends. A very weird and pathetic theft...


 
Yes. Son #2. Spent four months in jail because his "Best" friend used his name when he was arrested. When he didn't keep his court date, they came looking for my son. Friend got a lot of recent info from the Internet. Such as his address. He already knew my name, siblings' names, and other pertinent info. Grew up with Son #2. This is why I NEVER put any one's name out on the 'net without permission. When the police couldn't produce photos of tattoos to match the ones my son had, the judge read them the riot act. 

Someone also tried to use my dead daughter's name. But the cop that she was talking to, knew my daughter and that she was dead. He came to her funeral. He arrested the girl for giving false information, impeding an investigation, etc. She had no idea what was going on until she got to the station and the officer introduce her to me. "Is this your mother?" 
"Heck no. I never saw this woman before." The officer had called me on his cell phone. I was only two minutes from the station walking. I brought my granddaughter with me. Her mother had only been dead about six months. You can imagine how upsetting it was for both of us. And just how shocked she was when she found out who we were. 

So yes, I am familiar with identity theft. First hand. I never, ever give out any info about myself or my kids over the phone or the Internet. And on the rare occasion I might get a telemarketer, I hang up immediately. I never open emails that I don't know who sent them. I not only protect myself and my family, also my friends with a vengeance. 

I have belong to a group of seven of us for the past ten years or more. I have all their personal information. Including birthdays, aniversaries, etc. Even unlisted phone numbers. We have a code name if you need to have any of the info. If you can't give me the code name, I can't help you. I gave them my word that they could trust me and I have never violated that trust. And I never will. Identity theft is no fun for the victim.


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## Claire (May 13, 2012)

Hmmm, start for a new line, I think.

I was a gal who matured late in some respects.  I was still a teenager when I enlisted in the USAF.  In some ways naive, but in others very, very experienced.  At 40?  My life changed in, to me, strange ways, that I had a hard time coping with.  From there I went to the whole menopause thing. 

If you'd asked me at 40? I would NOT have said life begins at 40.  I'd have said life ends there.  My 30s were my favorite decade.  And, of course, life didn't end at 40, I put a hitch in my giddy-up and in my late fifties am doing quite well.  I won't go so far as to say this is the best decade of my life, but my late 30s/early 40s were definitely in competition for my worst.  
Way too individual.


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## Mel! (May 14, 2012)

Addie said:


> Yes. Son #2. Spent four months in jail because his "Best" friend used his name when he was arrested. When he didn't keep his court date, they came looking for my son. Friend got a lot of recent info from the Internet. Such as his address. He already knew my name, siblings' names, and other pertinent info. Grew up with Son #2. This is why I NEVER put any one's name out on the 'net without permission. When the police couldn't produce photos of tattoos to match the ones my son had, the judge read them the riot act.
> 
> Someone also tried to use my dead daughter's name. But the cop that she was talking to, knew my daughter and that she was dead. He came to her funeral. He arrested the girl for giving false information, impeding an investigation, etc. She had no idea what was going on until she got to the station and the officer introduce her to me. "Is this your mother?"
> "Heck no. I never saw this woman before." The officer had called me on his cell phone. I was only two minutes from the station walking. I brought my granddaughter with me. Her mother had only been dead about six months. You can imagine how upsetting it was for both of us. And just how shocked she was when she found out who we were.
> ...



omg! Those are horrible examples! I am not sure identity theft has ever happened to me. If so, I never found out about it. 

I was reading a biography of an Australian drug smuggler a few years ago. He had stolen the identity of a dead baby from a tomb stone in a graveyard, to get a fake passport. I didn't know identity theft is that easy. I suppose, the police dont see any reason to watch people who have not yet done crimes, so that is how they can get away with so much.


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## Mel! (May 14, 2012)

Claire said:


> Way too individual.


I think, I have that problem too. People are advised to think out of the box, but those who advise this, dont advise about  how to cope with not fitting in with what most people see as how you should be.


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## Addie (May 14, 2012)

Mel! said:


> omg! Those are horrible examples! I am not sure identity theft has ever happened to me. If so, I never found out about it.
> 
> I was reading a biography of an Australian drug smuggler a few years ago. He had stolen the identity of a dead baby from a tomb stone in a graveyard, to get a fake passport. I didn't know identity theft is that easy. I suppose, the police don't see any reason to watch people who have not yet done crimes, so that is how they can get away with so much.


 
At one time anyone could go to the Records Department and get a birth certificate for any person. After all, they are public records. Now to get a birth, death or marriage certificate, you have to show a picture identity and two pieces of mail with  your name on it. Preferably utility bills with your name on it. And you also have to show a reason for the request. Also, at one time if you knew someone at the RMV, you could get preferential treatment and go to the head of the loooong line. It is harder to do that these days. My daughter is an Executive Secretary for management. I am due to go in and have a new picture taken for my ID card and my handicap placard. She no longer can help me get through the red tape. I have to follow protocol like everyone else. With the experience my family has had with idenity theft, I am glad that they have tighten the rules. But at the same time I am ticked off. Don't those folks at RMV know how inportant I am?


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## Uncle Bob (May 14, 2012)

Mel! said:


> Do you agree that life begins at 4o? Give reasons for you opinion.



*Not sure I totally agree, but then It was along about that time that I designed, had made, and bought my K.O.B.A. belt buckle...So in some respects...Yes! *


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## vitauta (May 14, 2012)

for me, i didn't even begin to hit my stride until i was well into my thirties, and the forties were just a continuation--even the fifties.  my twenties were spent in the 70's when love was in the air, no hiv yet, lots of partying, drinking and drugs.  fun, but pretty much a squandering of time, talents and youth....but hey, the other day, i heard that betty white declared 90 to be the new 50--there's so much more time to find yourself these days, to grow and mature....


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