# Understanding Women - What Makes Us Happy



## mish (Jun 28, 2005)

How to make & lose points with us.

SIMPLE DUTIES 
You make the bed ......................................... ....+1 
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.... 0 
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-1 
You leave the toilet seat up..................................-5 
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............ 0 
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1 
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom...........-2 
You go out to buy her breakfast to be served in bed.....+5 
In the snow..................................... ..............+8 
But return with a six pack of beer............................-5 
And forget the breakfast................................ .............-25 
You check out a suspicious noise at night..................... 0 
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing............ 0 
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5 
You whack it with a six iron................................+10 
It's her cat...................................... ...........-40

AT THE PARTY 
You stay by her side the entire party............ 0 
You leave her to chat with a college drinking buddy......-2 
Named Tiffany.................................. ..-4 


HER BIRTHDAY 
You remember her birthday................................0 
You buy a card and flowers...............................0 
You take her out to dinner.............................. 0 
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1 
Okay, it is a sports bar................................-2 
And it's all-you-can-eat night..........................-3 
And your face is painted the colors of your best team........-10 

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS 
Go with a pal...................................... .0 
The pal is happily married..........................+1 
The pal is single................................... -7 
He drives a Ferrari.................................- 10 
With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED)........-15 

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER 
You take her to a movie...............+2 
You take her to a movie she likes.....+4 
You take her to a movie you hate......+6 
You take her to a movie you like......-2 
It's called Death Cop 3...............-3 
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans....-9 
You told her it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15 

YOUR PHYSIQUE 
You develop a noticeable pot belly................-15 
You exercise to get rid of it...+10 
You resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts......-30 
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."..........-800 

THE BIG QUESTION 
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" 
You hesitate in responding......................-10 
You reply, "Where?".............................-35 
You reply, "No, I think it's your belly".........-100 
Any other response..............................-20 

COMMUNICATION 
When she wants to talk about a problem: You listen, displaying a concerned expression...........0 
You listen, for over 30 minutes...............+5 
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience....+50 
You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying "well, what do you think I should do"...............-50 
You listen for 30 minutes without looking at the TV..+100 
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep............-200


Remember in the world of romance, one single rule applies: MAKE US HAPPY


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## pdswife (Jun 28, 2005)

Good one!  I've already sent it off to some friends.  Thanks!!


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## middie (Jun 28, 2005)

Remember in the world of romance, one single rule applies: MAKE US HAPPY 

yeah is that too much to ask for ????


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## buckytom (Jun 28, 2005)

lol, no middie. would you like the sun, moon, and stars too?


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## middie (Jun 28, 2005)

but of course bucky. man you men act like we want EVERYTHING.  
oh wait... we do !!!!  

j/k


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## texasgirl (Jun 28, 2005)

We don't want EVERYTHING,
you can keep your dirty clothes, smells, obsene sounds, grunts, scratching, blah blah blah...tha'ts what your really hearing anyway


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## middie (Jun 28, 2005)

lol texas yeah men can keep all that


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## pdswife (Jun 28, 2005)

Ya hit it right on the nose Texas!  LOLOL!!!


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## buckytom (Jun 28, 2005)

umm, did you say something tex?sorry, i couldn't hear you over the din of scratching and flatulence...


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## texasgirl (Jun 28, 2005)

See ya'll never listen, just forget it.


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## mish (Jun 28, 2005)

I adore men...that's why I'm single & loving every minute. Know I'm probably in the minority on this site, but hey, whatever makes ya happy 

Btw, we're not perfect either.


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## texasgirl (Jun 28, 2005)

MISH, yes we are!!


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## mish (Jun 28, 2005)

buckytom said:
			
		

> lol, no middie. would you like the sun, moon, and stars too?


 
Now Voyager...Bette Davis & Paul Henreid (?)...Let's not wish for the moon & the stars... One of my fave romantic movies.


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## kadesma (Jun 28, 2005)

OMG Mish,

you 've gone and done it again   At least I wasn't drinking cooffe, but that cheeze it went  downthe wrong way.
kadesma,who went to get her lunch from the refrigerator at work only to find the DH munching...Emmmm that was great, what did ya bring for yourself Ma?


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## TexasTamale (Jun 28, 2005)

*LMAO Still!!!!!*

Thanks Mish! I havent laughed that hard in long time (needed it)....Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Loved all the "Zeros"!!!!!! .....

But, Ol' "Tiffany" wudda "cost" alot more than 4 !!!!


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## wasabi (Jun 28, 2005)

Cost of a divorce.... $1500

A happy wife....priceless


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## mish (Jun 28, 2005)

kadesma said:
			
		

> but that cheeze it went downthe wrong way.
> 
> 
> what did ya bring for yourself Ma?


 
I hate when that happens, kadesma. Be careful with those cheeseballs. Most accidents happen in the home.

That's minus 5 points.


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## mish (Jun 28, 2005)

Thanks TexasT  

Wasabi, Wasabi, Wasabi.  So good to "see" you again. You always make me laugh. Btw, loved your sushi definition (female lawyer   (in the dictionary thread).


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