# Oh noez, I'm getting married! (countdown thread)



## mattmac (Mar 26, 2008)

T-10 and counting!

In 10 days (and 45 minutes...), I will be getting married! Woohoo! I'm more excited about the honeymoon, to be honest. The wedding will be great and fun and blah blah blah...but my fiancee and I can't wait to get away from work, school, and wedding planning. We haven't relaxed in a year and a half. 

So I'm going to keep a running countdown here up until a week from today, when my fiancee and I travel down to the wedding location where I won't have access to a computer...and even if I did, I wouldn't be using one!

Feel free to talk about your wedding experience, advice, regrets, etc.

T-10 days, 44 minutes!


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## Fisher's Mom (Mar 26, 2008)

Congratulations, Matt!!! It's wonderful to hear a groom who is so enthusiastic about his upcoming wedding! Your bride must be a wonderful woman. I'd love to hear more details about the wedding plans and honeymoon destination!


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## pdswife (Mar 26, 2008)

Congrats!!!  How exciting!!!


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## Mama (Mar 26, 2008)

How awesome.  I wish you many wonderful years together!


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## mattmac (Mar 26, 2008)

Thank you!  The wedding is in Providence Forge, VA, inside of a small and beautiful church.  The reception is about half a mile down the road at a beautiful manor house.  The music at the ceremony will be provided by a string duet (cello and violin).  The honeymoon will be at the all-inclusive Sandals Resort at Nassau, Bahamas.  We'll be there from April 7-April 12.  I will be doing a bunch of scuba diving (got certified in September), snorkeling, and we plan on bringing "lazy bum" to a whole new level.

There will be about 50 people at the wedding, we were expecting 75-80.  We want a small wedding, so we're happy with 50.


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## kitchenelf (Mar 26, 2008)

Congratulations!!!!!!  Have fun scuba diving - I'm so jealous!


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## mattmac (Mar 26, 2008)

I'll be taking a TON of pictures - we got 5 underwater cameras.


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## auntdot (Mar 26, 2008)

Our experience was a bit different.

Due to school, work, and many commitments we had only one week to arrange our wedding that was to occur four months later, out of the the state we were living in at the time (back home).

The time limitation was the best thing that could have happened.  We had no time to fret over details.  We just made decisions.  There were absolutely no arguments. Would rapidly discuss the options and came to a mutually acceptable decision.

Everything worked just fine. 

After the wedding we left to relocate, spent two nights in a hotel, and then started getting ourselves settled with no cash in a place we had never been. Ergo, no honeymoon.

But it worked, at least it has for thirty years come May.

Mattmac have a great wedding, lovely honeymoon, and all best wishes.


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## mattmac (Mar 26, 2008)

Wow...I'm jealous, auntdot!  Fretting over details is AWFUL!!!  Congratulations of nearly 30 years!


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## SixSix210 (Mar 26, 2008)

Congrats Matt!  Enjoy scuba diving! Haven't been in years.  Make sure you pop some pics up into the gallery when you get back so we can all be jealous.


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## mattmac (Mar 26, 2008)

I'll be sure to do that, SixSix!  But don't be TOO jealous...keep in mind that over the course of the wedding planning, I have moved three times, worked full time, and just this semester I have completed 22 credits.  I *NEEEED* THIS!


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## SixSix210 (Mar 26, 2008)

full time and 22 credits?!?!?  you can keep that part.   You keep going like that and you'll be married forever, you'll never have time or energy enough to argue.


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## mattmac (Mar 26, 2008)

Oh, don't worry...we have plenty of time for that, too!


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## simplicity (Mar 26, 2008)

Congratulations!  Wishing you and your bride the very best!


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## mattmac (Mar 26, 2008)

Thank you, Simplicity!


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## redkitty (Mar 26, 2008)

Congratulations!  Enjoy the wedding and reception because it flies by so fast you hardly even knew it happened!

The honeymoon sounds fabulous, don't forget the sunscreen and have a great time!


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## mattmac (Mar 26, 2008)

Red - that's funny you mention that.  Talking to a couple here at work, they told me to enjoy the wedding because it flies by so fast.  Time flies when you're having fun...I just hope the honeymoon seems to last longer than the wedding!


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## B'sgirl (Mar 26, 2008)

I'm so happy for you! You have good reason to be excited. Married life is great! At least I think so. And they are right, it all does fly by pretty quickly. Just be smarter than I was and don't lend ANYONE your car keys (we asked DH's roommate to put gas in the car--bad idea).


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## mattmac (Mar 26, 2008)

haha!  What happened, Michelle?


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## B'sgirl (Mar 26, 2008)

Well, we certainly didn't have to stop and get gas. We just had to go to a car wash and scrape oreos and such off the car windows and unload the "Welcome, baby!" balloons. And we thought we were saving time...


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## mattmac (Mar 26, 2008)

Haha!!!  Oreos?!  That's a new one!

I'm going to hold onto my car keys, but that doesn't keep the exterior safe...I don't know if my family would do anything to it, though.  We'll find out soon enough!


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## Barb L. (Mar 26, 2008)

So happy for you Matt, Congrats.!  Wishing you all the best !


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## expatgirl (Mar 26, 2008)

Welcome to a whole new world of commitment and love, MattM.  My husband and I married with very little except the love of our families and hard work on our parts.  Lots of experiences, jobs, two children, one grandchild----- we still love and tussle 33 years later.  I'll never forget our honeymoon.  We used my inlaws non-insulated cabin and when we arrived I had to put my feet in the gas oven to warm up.  We slept with an electric blanket that night and the next morning the champagne was totally iced in the bucket!  Have fun  and on to the countdown!


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## suziquzie (Mar 26, 2008)

Congrats!!
Where can I send your live gift?
(meow)


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## mattmac (Mar 26, 2008)

Thank you Barb and Expat!  Very cool story, Expat - very unique honeymoon! 

Suzi - WOOHOO I'M GETTING A CAT!


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## jeninga75 (Mar 26, 2008)

Grats and best wishes!


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## Maverick2272 (Mar 26, 2008)

Congrats on getting married! Our wedding was at the Rolling Meadows courthouse, just set a date (we picked the first day of spring as the date, March 20th), and showed up in our Sunday best! That was 13 years ago now. Lately we have been talking about having another ceremony this time in a church and then a honeymoon, but the money yikes!


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## Dina (Mar 26, 2008)

Congratulations!  Best wishes to you both.


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## corazon (Mar 26, 2008)

Congrats to you and your fiancé!
We managed to avoid any kind of wedding planning. We woke up and thought it was a good day to get married. Went to city hall with our two best friends and then celebrated at an ice cream store afterward. We are coming up on our 5th anniversary and have been together for 9 years. 
Have lots of fun for all of the upcoming celebrations!


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## Bilby (Mar 27, 2008)

Congratulations!  I wish you both a long and prosperous future together filled with happiness.


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## DawnT (Mar 27, 2008)

Congratulations Matt!!  Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!  May you have many years of luck, laughter and love.


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## mattmac (Mar 27, 2008)

Thank you, everyone!  9 days, and the weather forecast for April 5 so far is 66 and rainy.  Not good at all!


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## Fisher's Mom (Mar 27, 2008)

Don't worry Matt! It will still be the most beautiful day of your life!


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## pdswife (Mar 27, 2008)

Even if it rains..your hearts will be full of love and happiness!   You'll still have happy memories.


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## B'sgirl (Mar 27, 2008)

mattmac said:


> Thank you, everyone!  9 days, and the weather forecast for April 5 so far is 66 and rainy.  Not good at all!



Anything that makes your wedding more memorable is a good thing. And keep in mind--disasters turn out to be great stories for parties and dinner conversations later on.


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## mikki (Mar 28, 2008)

Congrats Matt, enjoy your wedding and you honeymoon sounds fabulous. Send some warm weather my way please, it's been snowing here all night.
I really hope you post some of the underwater pictures, I'd love to see them.


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## mattmac (Mar 28, 2008)

The weather forecast changed to 66 and sunny! Woohoo! 

I will be sure to post a lot of pictures - don't worry about that! I'm excited about the clear water - I'm used to 15' of visibility!

8 days, 5 hours, 10 minutes, 20 seconds!


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## PanchoHambre (Mar 28, 2008)

Congrats....  and enjoy the honeymoon sounds like you are due for a break


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## LT72884 (Mar 28, 2008)

WOOOT, congrats dude. i will be following in your footsteps in a year, well at least i hope so. Thats pretty exciting. 



Matt


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## SixSix210 (Mar 28, 2008)

Butterflies yet matt?


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## Constance (Mar 28, 2008)

Getting married, eh? 

Don't worry, there's nothing to it. I've done it three times.


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## Chief Longwind Of The North (Mar 28, 2008)

I have just a bit of advise, having been married for almost 30 years now.  make sure that your wife is the most important person in your life, more important than are parents, freinds, dog, cats, hampsters, etc.  And make sure that you are the most important person in her life.  

In a great marriage, self becomes partnership.  Also, if you love diving, and she loves diving as well, you will have something you can do together, and enjoy together for a long, long time.  Find something, anything that both of you can do together.  

Television can be evil.  It can take up so much of your time that you forget to live life.

If children are going to be a part of the equation, make them an integral part of every day, and live your life the way you would like them to live theirs.  Be the example.

Finally, take the time, every day, to find something positive about your partner, and give her something positive to find about you.  Going to bed angry is a very bad thing.  Go to bed loving, and looking forward to tomorrow.

When you immerse yourself into your family, then the rewards will outweigh any other thing you could possibly do in this life.  Enjoy each other, and realize that every experience you have can be used for good, to enjoy, or to teach you something.

Marriage is so overwhelmingly enjoyable, if only both partners put forth the effort to truly give of themselves to each other.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the north


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## B'sgirl (Mar 28, 2008)

That's great advice, GW!


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## Maverick2272 (Mar 28, 2008)

Goodweed of the North said:


> I have just a bit of advise, having been married for almost 30 years now.  make sure that your wife is the most important person in your life, more important than are parents, freinds, dog, cats, hampsters, etc.  And make sure that you are the most important person in her life.
> 
> In a great marriage, self becomes partnership.  Also, if you love diving, and she loves diving as well, you will have something you can do together, and enjoy together for a long, long time.  Find something, anything that both of you can do together.
> 
> ...



So that is what I did wrong, I put the hamster first!


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## mattmac (Mar 29, 2008)

Great advice, Goodweed!  We both love diving - but she can't dive due to sinus issues that can hopefully be repaired by surgery.  We compromise by snorkeling, although I'm still allowed to dive on my own from time to time.

We don't make enough time to enjoy life together - so busy with so much that in our free time we just plop down in front of the TV.  It's awful and I hate it, and I'm going to do something about it after the wedding when things become less hectic.  We need to get out of this apartment more!


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## buckytom (Mar 29, 2008)

don't listen to goodweed, matt. about tv that is. the rest is obvious, blah blah blah...

when i had to work a lot of evenings, so that my wife and i saw little of each other, one of the things we could share and talk about was the few tv shows that we both liked. it made the times when we_ made_ time to spoon together on the couch to catch the finale that much more special.

ok, advice:

happiness is what you make of it. or better said, you're as happy as you make your mind up to be. same goes for everyone. try to make it easy to see for those you care about.

and it's ok to go to bed angry, only if you both wake up realizing every day is a new day and everything can be worked out.


and yes, i admitted to spooning!


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## mattmac (Mar 29, 2008)

Good advice as well, bucky!  It's obvious that no matter what a couple does, a couple is only going to be as happy as they *want* to be, and only if they make the effort to do so.

HAHA...you admitted to spooning!  

ok...it is nice though, isn't it?


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## Maverick2272 (Mar 29, 2008)

Ahem, men don't spoon. We safely and securely hold our loved ones while maintaining a manly stance at all times.


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## expatgirl (Mar 29, 2008)

Thank goodness you men know how to do a good job of letting your arms fall asleep and  still hold on.......


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## love2"Q" (Mar 29, 2008)

congrats on getting hitched .. my DW and i are nearing 10 years this year  ..
she is and always has been my best friend ... the person is go to when 
i need to vent, complain, cry, laugh and everything else ...
as i am to her (i think) ... remember .. communication is the key..
talk .. everyday ..


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## Katie H (Mar 29, 2008)

Congratulations, mattmac!  You are about to embark on the greatest and most rewarding adventure of your life.

My first marriage (10 years) didn't work out, but I got it  right the second time.  Buck and I have been together 32 years.  We pretty much follow Goodweed's philosophy.  Can't go wrong there.

Enjoy, forgive, talk, cry, play, work, and (yes) argue together.  Work side-by-side.  Not one behind the other.  Build a good foundation with each other and you will have a strong "house" to raise  your children in.

Always try to see some "fun" in your life no matter how good or bad things might be going.

Best wishes on a long, happy life together!!!!


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## mattmac (Mar 31, 2008)

Thank you, everyone, for your continued advice and well-wishes.  4 days, 6 hours, 51 minutes!!!

My fiancee's mother arrives tomorrow from Orlando to spend the next two days with us before we go down to my parents' home which is just down the road from the wedding location.  We packed our luggage yesterday to get it out of the way, and also arranged for our guinea pigs to be taken care of.  Just minor little details left and we're DONE!

Annnnd the good news is I'm practically done at work for the week.  Today I'm going on a job walk, which is nothing but fun.  Tomorrow I leave early to pick up the future M-I-L, and finally on Wednesday I do nothing but clean up a bit and help get things ready for a new guy that starts in a week.  Woohoo!


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## Wart (Mar 31, 2008)

Whenever the Wedding March is played I hear a Funeral Dirge. ... LOL Another one bites the dust ... L

Been married going on 16 years, or as I've been known to say, just over half way through my second eternity with her. At times I long for the relief that death will bring .... L

Man marries woman hoping she won't change, Woman marries man thinking she can change him, both get disappointed.

But seriously,

Going to bed mad at each other? Not a good thing but it's going to happen (hide the super glue). A kiss or even reaching out and touching helps. Not a good thing to be alone in bed together. ( I have seen where some people maintain a retreat bedroom so one of 'them' can sleep there if their PO'ed at each other. When are they going to grow up?)


While shared interests are important _separate_ interests are just as important. Maybe more important. A sense of individuality and self identity must be maintained.

Keep the In Laws at bay. Yours AND hers.

Respect is more important than love and romance.

And so on ....


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## GrillingFool (Mar 31, 2008)

The Wizard of Oz Rule for Relationship Happiness:

If you can't find Happiness in your own back yard,
You are looking in the wrong place.

In other words, look to your SO or spouse, not elsewhere.

Made a world of difference in my life when I figured this out!


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## Dove (Mar 31, 2008)

*We had such a long engagement...LOL I was 15 and as he said I was "jail Bait" for a few years. then when we talked about Marriage the Korean war popped up. He said "get on with your life, I'm not coming back" They told him that the life span for a Corpsman (Medic) was 10 seconds after they hit the beach. He did make it home 14 months later. Then discussing it again and bingo! He was sent to Japan as a"Doc" to the Marines again. After another 14 months he came back home by way of San Francisco. His sister here in Sacramento picked him up on Nov. 19th 1954 and I rode the Grayhound bus all night and arrived the 20th (his birthday). After we arrived at his sisters home he said "Either we get married this time or I am going home on leave" Blood work was done on Monday..we were married on Tuesday PM. His sis had her Eagle eye on us at ALL times!! He slept on the floor with as he called his Brother-in Law "bony kneed-  ed BIL"  and I slept with his sister. But the joke was on them...LOL John was born 9 months 1 hour 21 minutes later..

This laster one month short of 52 years.*


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## expatgirl (Mar 31, 2008)

Wart said:


> Whenever the Wedding March is played I hear a Funeral Dirge. ... LOL Another one bites the dust ... L
> 
> Been married going on 16 years, or as I've been known to say, just over half way through my second eternity with her. At times I long for the relief that death will bring .... L
> 
> ...




Superglue??????????What's up with that?????


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## expatgirl (Mar 31, 2008)

Dove said:


> *We had such a long engagement...LOL I was 15 and as he said I was "jail Bait" for a few years. then when we talked about Marriage the Korean war popped up. He said "get on with your life, I'm not coming back" They told him that the life span for a Corpsman (Medic) was 10 seconds after they hit the beach. He did make it home 14 months later. Then discussing it again and bingo! He was sent to Japan as a"Doc" to the Marines again. After another 14 months he came back home by way of San Francisco. His sister here in Sacramento picked him up on Nov. 19th 1954 and I rode the Grayhound bus all night and arrived the 20th (his birthday). After we arrived at his sisters home he said "Either we get married this time or I am going home on leave" Blood work was done on Monday..we were married on Tuesday PM. His sis had her Eagle eye on us at ALL times!! He slept on the floor with as he called his Brother-in Law "bony kneed-  ed BIL"  and I slept with his sister. But the joke was on them...LOL John was born 9 months 1 hour 21 minutes later..
> 
> This laster one month short of 52 years.*



Gosh, Dove, I was  born exactly 9 months after my parents married, too, and my dad served in the Korean and Viet Nam war.  He's gone like your hubby too and he was such a brave man.  Your post brings tears......


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## Fisher's Mom (Apr 1, 2008)

Dove said:


> *We had such a long engagement...LOL I was 15 and as he said I was "jail Bait" for a few years. then when we talked about Marriage the Korean war popped up. He said "get on with your life, I'm not coming back" They told him that the life span for a Corpsman (Medic) was 10 seconds after they hit the beach. He did make it home 14 months later. Then discussing it again and bingo! He was sent to Japan as a"Doc" to the Marines again. After another 14 months he came back home by way of San Francisco. His sister here in Sacramento picked him up on Nov. 19th 1954 and I rode the Grayhound bus all night and arrived the 20th (his birthday). After we arrived at his sisters home he said "Either we get married this time or I am going home on leave" Blood work was done on Monday..we were married on Tuesday PM. His sis had her Eagle eye on us at ALL times!! He slept on the floor with as he called his Brother-in Law "bony kneed-  ed BIL"  and I slept with his sister. But the joke was on them...LOL John was born 9 months 1 hour 21 minutes later..
> 
> This laster one month short of 52 years.*


What a romantic story, Marge! And 52 years!!! There aren't many marriages that make it to the half-century mark. I think you need to share some of your secrets to a long and happy marriage. (Besides the one that ends in a bigger family 9 months later!)


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## DawnT (Apr 1, 2008)

*Just for you!!*

Fred and Mary get married but couldn't  afford a honeymoon, 
so they go back to Fred's Mom and Dad's house for their first night together.  In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.  As he is  going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Fred and Mary are  up yet. She replies, 'No'. Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'  ! His  mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think!  Just go to school.' 

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, 'Are Fred and Mary up yet?'
She replies, 'No.' 

Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'  His mom replies, 'Never mind what  you think! Eat your lunch and go back  to school .' 

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, 'Are Fred and Mary up yet?'
His mom says, 'No.' He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'  His mom replies,   'Ok, now tell me what you think?' 

He says: 'Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think...
I gave him my airplane glue.'


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## LT72884 (Apr 1, 2008)

DawnT said:


> Fred and Mary get married but couldn't  afford a honeymoon,
> so they go back to Fred's Mom and Dad's house for their first night together.  In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.  As he is  going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Fred and Mary are  up yet. She replies, 'No'. Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'  ! His  mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think!  Just go to school.'
> 
> Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, 'Are Fred and Mary up yet?'
> ...



LOLOLOLOL AHAHA SWEET ACTION. now that is funny. you made me cuss at work. Thats gotta burn. Good thing i dont have any younger siblings.


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## B'sgirl (Apr 1, 2008)

expatgirl said:


> Gosh, Dove, I was  born exactly 9 months after my parents married, too, and my dad served in the Korean and Viet Nam war.  He's gone like your hubby too and he was such a brave man.  Your post brings tears......



My first baby was born 8 months after the wedding. We truly were virgins until the marriage though, he was just 4 weeks early. It's a great family joke though.


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## GotGarlic (Apr 1, 2008)

Best wishes to you and your fiancee, Matt  DH and I will celebrate 24 years in June - jeez, where did the time go?

Here's an idea: Get a dog. Then, instead of plopping down in front of the TV, take the dog and your new wife for a walk after work and talk over how your days went. DH and I do that a lot. We also go biking around the neighborhood together. Sometimes he has to ride rings around me, because I see it as touring while he's more into racing  but it's all good.

BTW, DH was a weatherman in the Navy - he never believes a forecast more than 2-3 days out. Good luck to you both.


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## buckytom (Apr 2, 2008)

hey, what's this anti-tv crapola? 

lol, geez, when women smell the blood of comittment, they go for the kill, huh?

yeah, that's it. get a dog. like you won't have enough honey-do things to do around the house.


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## expatgirl (Apr 2, 2008)

well, Bucky, when you talk about getting dogs......(imagine a smiley whistling and looking to the skies).........


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## mattmac (Apr 2, 2008)

Haha...I already have a huge list of honey-dos. I don't want any pets when we have a baby in a few years. I'd like to go on some awesome vacations first, buy a house, and become more financially stable before we have a baby...so it's going to be a while! But when it does happen, no pets! Babies are difficult enough on their own!

3 days, 6 hours, 38 minutes!


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## GotGarlic (Apr 2, 2008)

buckytom said:


> hey, what's this anti-tv crapola?
> 
> lol, geez, when women smell the blood of comittment, they go for the kill, huh?
> 
> yeah, that's it. get a dog. like you won't have enough honey-do things to do around the house.









Just trying to suggest ways they can spend more quality time together, at Matt himself said he wanted to do:



mattmac said:


> We don't make enough time to enjoy life together - so busy with so much that in our free time we just plop down in front of the TV.  It's awful and I hate it, and I'm going to do something about it after the wedding when things become less hectic.  We need to get out of this apartment more!



Not that watching TV together is always a bad thing, but when the weather's nice, DH and I like to get outside and do things together - walking, biking, gardening. And of course, living in a 98-year-old house, he's got a *serious* list of honey-dos


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## Wart (Apr 2, 2008)

GotGarlic said:


> ... instead of plopping down in front of the TV, take ... your new wife for a walk after work and talk over how your days went. ....




Talk !?!?!?

Are you _CRAZY_?!



Wife (office worker) comes home and make sounds about her day, same sounds day after day. After Day. I do listen a little to hear a different sound, if something sounds different I'll listen ... for a little bit. If I actually listened I would be tempted to interact. I've listened before. It's driven me nuts. Same noise, day after day, after day, SOMETHING NEW! Nope, same noise with a twist.

Took me a long time to learn how to look like I was interested while 90% of my mind is off somewhere else.

As many married people will tell you , that's what you need to do. Just sort of listen. Not completely ignoring Spouse, Listening just enough to ask a pertinent question on occasion. It's a delicate balance. For the most part that's all a spouse needs, and more importantly, that's all they want.

Except on a day like yesterday.

Wife comes home and I know immediately something is wrong. The little boy in me wonders what I've done wrong or didn't do. I cautiously probe .... WHEW! They promoted X to assistant office manager, Boy am I glad I washed the cats litter boxes. 

(No, Wife didn't want the position, couldn't have had the position even if she did want it (retires with 30 years in 181 days, but who's counting?))

Wife now has 100% of my attention. I did those things needed done to help my best friends hurt go away.

I called Wife this morning. No o ne in the office is happy, What was the "Big Boss" thinking???? _Why X_ seems to be the common question. I point out how, though Wife can now look forward to doing MORE of X's work and Wife is getting screwed Wife is by no means the one getting it the hardest. Wife should have pity for Wifes immediate boss .... 181 days dear, your short timing. Watch the situation and be amused.


But LISTEN? TALK??!! Are you CRAZY? That will drive you NUTS!





> BTW, DH was a weatherman in the Navy - he never believes a forecast more than 2-3 days out. Good luck to you both.




weather.gov / NOAA is pretty good.

The rest tell you what you want to hear, if at all possible they hold to the 'Better weather is 4 days away' forecast.


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## GotGarlic (Apr 2, 2008)

Wart said:


> Talk !?!?!?
> 
> Are you _CRAZY_?!
> 
> ...



Well, whatever works  That wouldn't work for me, though.


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## B'sgirl (Apr 2, 2008)

Me either!


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## DietitianInTraining (Apr 2, 2008)

Me either!!


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## Wart (Apr 3, 2008)

Wouldn't work for you?

!

Why not?


BTW, This:



Wart said:


> Wife now has 100% of my attention. I did those things needed done to help my best friends hurt go away.



had nothing to do with sex.


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## buckytom (Apr 3, 2008)

wart, what the he!! are you doing!!!!!!  ix-nay on the istening-lay!

don't give 'em our playbook. geez, you must be a patriots fan.


i hear what you're saying about hearing the same ol' crap day after day, but that's part of being a good hubby. the delicate balance is not about _when_ to pay attention, but when to give your opinion versus when to just listen. the hard part is the former, not the latter, but it's forunate that those are rare occasions. 
when the planets align and advice is requested, you want to be supportive even when they're wrong about some issue. but you can't go against her or you just add to the frustrations, so diplomacy is the key in those very few situations.

often diplomacy means just asking dumb questions to help her talk it out. 


(how'd i do, ladies? huh? )


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## buckytom (Apr 3, 2008)

ok, matt. i've told this before here, but it bears repeating.

on the morning of their 20th wedding anniversary, a woman woke up to find her hubby missing from bed. she went downstairs and saw him sobbing on the couch.
when she asked him what was wrong, he said "honey, do you remember the day we were married, when your dad held a shotgun to my back and said i had to marry you or go to jail?"

the woman replied "well, yes, of course i do, honey".

the man whimpered back "well, i would have gotten out today..."

BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA


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## buckytom (Apr 3, 2008)

one more.

a guy went to the cemetery to buy a burial plot for himself and his family. as he was walking through the graveyard to get to the office, he noticed a man crying, pounding on a tombstone repeating "why did you die, you bastid!! why did you die, you bastid!!!!"

after the guy came out, the sobbing man was still repeating his plea, so the guy went over to comfort him. when asked about the deceased, the man said that he never new him, but once again repeated "why did you die, you bastid."

the guy, now very confused, asked the crying man to explain how he could be so broken up about a person he never new.

the man replied, "it was my wife's first husband..."


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## GotGarlic (Apr 3, 2008)

Wart said:


> Wouldn't work for you?
> 
> !
> 
> Why not?



I'm not impressed by this: 



Wart said:


> Took me a long time to learn how to look like I was interested while 90% of my mind is off somewhere else.



Don't do me any favors, sweetheart. If you're not interested in what I have to say, be bold enough to tell me, so I can find someone else who is.

I am impressed by this:



buckytom said:


> i hear what you're saying about hearing the same ol' crap day after day, but that's part of being a good hubby. the delicate balance is not about _when_ to pay attention, but when to give your opinion versus when to just listen. the hard part is the former, not the latter, but it's forunate that those are rare occasions.
> when the planets align and advice is requested, you want to be supportive even when they're wrong about some issue. but you can't go against her or you just add to the frustrations, so diplomacy is the key in those very few situations.
> 
> often diplomacy means just asking dumb questions to help her talk it out.
> ...



You have a way with words, BT. Your wife is a lucky woman. I hope Matt's listening, but I have a feeling he's a bit busy at the moment ...


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## B'sgirl (Apr 3, 2008)

Garlic, you put the words right in my mouth! I think communication is extremely important in marriage and one of the best ways to keep it healthy _and _happy.


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## Wart (Apr 3, 2008)

GotGarlic said:


> I'm not impressed by this:
> 
> 
> 
> Don't do me any favors, sweetheart. If you're not interested in what I have to say, be bold enough to tell me, so I can find someone else who is.




Ouch, That Hurt ..... Your Mean!!! Sniff.

LMAO!!!!

Let me take a guess, as you were reading what I wrote you came to understand the Glazed Look in your SOs eyes as you prattle on about your day .... 

I guess it's a good thing I married a strong woman and not some needy little girl. 

Seems not everyone can say the same.


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## meshoo96 (Apr 3, 2008)

SixSix210 said:


> Congrats Matt!  Enjoy scuba diving! Haven't been in years.  Make sure you pop some pics up into the gallery when you get back so we can all be jealous.



Congrats Matt...ummm hun, don't get any ideas about scuba diving...


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## GotGarlic (Apr 3, 2008)

Wart said:


> Ouch, That Hurt ..... Your Mean!!! Sniff.
> 
> LMAO!!!!
> 
> Let me take a guess, as you were reading what I wrote you came to understand the Glazed Look in your SOs eyes as you prattle on about your day ....



Clearly you haven't met my DH of almost 24 years.



Wart said:


> I guess it's a good thing I married a strong woman and not some needy little girl.
> 
> Seems not everyone can say the same.



Please ... if you think you can make a judgment like that based on a few posts in an online forum ... well, I think this thread has been hijacked enough. See ya around.


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## NAchef (Apr 4, 2008)

DONT DO IT!!!!




j/k


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## Dove (Apr 4, 2008)

*Buckeytom and Wart..please come to my "office"
 as soon as possible...

Now you all know who the last people to see the inside of my new woodshed are..*


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## Fisher's Mom (Apr 4, 2008)

Dove said:


> *Buckeytom and Wart..please come to my "office"
> as soon as possible...
> 
> Now you all know who the last people to see the inside of my new woodshed are..*


 I was wondering when you would take these two by the ear!


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## buckytom (Apr 4, 2008)

what was that, marge? i wasn't listening.


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## QSis (Apr 4, 2008)

I think the social skills that both Wart and BT talked about are valuable to hone, and not at all gender-specific.  Nor is the tendency to complain repetitively gender-specific.

The ability to be JUST a sounding board to someone who needs to talk, without offering suggestions, solutions, arguments, etc. is one that I've had to practice over the years with family and friends, many of whom say the same things over and over and over ....  This skill does allow my mind to go off elsewhere.  

Every couple of years, I get caught "wandering" and a loved one will say "Hey, what did I just say?" (oops), but most of the time, their "tape" keeps going and I nod appropriately, and we're both happy.

It's a different story when the talker wants conversation, .i.e., wants me to answer and is willing to listen to my answer.   That's SO much more fun!

Lee


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## Fisher's Mom (Apr 4, 2008)

QSis said:


> I think the social skills that both Wart and BT talked about are valuable to hone, and not at all gender-specific.  Nor is the tendency to complain repetitively gender-specific.
> 
> The ability to be JUST a sounding board to someone who needs to talk, without offering suggestions, solutions, arguments, etc. is one that I've had to practice over the years with family and friends, many of whom say the same things over and over and over ....  This skill does allow my mind to go off elsewhere.
> 
> ...


I'm so glad to hear you say this, Lee. I was thinkin' I'm the only female who does this since it's always a joke about husbands who don't really listen.

What you said about being a sounding board is sooo true. (Although I call it a pi***** post.) This is something people value in a friend or spouse or parent etc. They don't or need want advice. They don't want someone to fix it. They just want to vent. OK. I can be their sounding board. And because I'm willing to do it, it happens a lot. But I do admit to having a whole other train of thought going on often times. I try not to but it's hard. There are only so many hours in the day and I automatically multitask.

I've always thought that the people that are venting are aware that they may not have my complete attention. But since they just need to talk out loud to someone, it's not a problem. Maybe I'm wrong.

Of course, this is different than when someone really needs to talk about something. I've tried to train my family to say "Do you have a minute? This is important." That way I get the heads up that they need my undivided attention.

Is it just me and Lee?


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## QSis (Apr 4, 2008)

Oh, and Matt?

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR WEDDING!!!

Lee


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## lulu (Apr 4, 2008)

Congratulations.  DH and I ha our families planning a huge wedding with all the bells on, an we felt our choices were being ignored and planned over....so, having got our licences etc a year before the planned date, the registrar told us she had a cancellation two weeks later.  we didn't tell any one until the day before, and then just slipped off to get marrie quietly and together.  I felt pretty bad for our fmilies, but I think it was the right choice for us!

Hve a great day, enjoy it, and remember, its about YOU two!


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## Mama (Apr 5, 2008)

Congratulations Matt, I hope the two of you have many wonderful years together!


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## mattmac (Apr 13, 2008)

Hello!  I'm home from the honeymoon!  It was INCREDIBLE!  The wedding ceremony could not have been any better, either.  Over the coming days I'll start getting pictures uploaded, so check back often starting Monday!


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## Bilby (Apr 13, 2008)

Congratulations!! And welcome back!! Look forward to the photos.


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## expatgirl (Apr 13, 2008)

I'm not going to be sappy here but do appreciate these idyllic days.......I don't think that many guys would have had the joie d' vive to have posted their exhuberance at their approaching marriage like you did and it's refreshing to see.......you must be doing something right......always love her more than yourself and you'll do just fine........learned that in a Social Study  Marriage & Family Class.....the prof was wonderful........hang in there.........


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## Katie H (Apr 13, 2008)

Glad to hear everything went well.  You'll have wonderful memories.  Looking forward to seeing your  pictures.


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## suziquzie (Apr 13, 2008)

YAY MATT!!!!
I'm so glad it went well, waiting for pics!


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## Cath4420 (Apr 13, 2008)

Congrats Matt.  My grandmother gave me the following sound and advice:

Trust, communication and compromise are the best assets a married couple can have.

and

Never let the sun go down on an argument.

I have kept to that advice and DH and I have been married for 5 years with lots more to come.


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## expatgirl (Apr 14, 2008)

a GREAT sense of HUMOR is also a huge asset........esp. when little rugrats from heaven come along...........


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## Maverick2272 (Apr 14, 2008)

Congrats!!

And make sure, when the rug rats do come along, you don't get lost in them.

MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELVES AT ANY COST!!!

You won't regret it, but you will regret not making the time later on. And capture as much on film as possible, savor every moment they fly by, and never be afraid to apologize even if you are positive you are right. No argument is worth proving you are right...

Good luck!!


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## buckytom (Apr 14, 2008)

congrats matt. 

ignore all of the advice given by women here, unless you want to be the wife.  with what you've posted, i think you'll be fine if you trust yourself and your feelings (and don't screw things up by thinking anyone else's grass looks greener. ). good luck and god bless your marriage.

lol mav. on film? mpeg, mpeg2, mpeg4, quicktime, avi, avchd, divx, dv, wmv, ...

it's all about compression. sort of like marriage.  the ack being "yes dear".

btw, expatty, a great sense of humor can make up for a huge asset, for both goose and gander...


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## Maverick2272 (Apr 14, 2008)

buckytom said:


> congrats matt.
> 
> ignore all of the advice given by women here, unless you want to be the wife.  with what you've posted, i think you'll be fine if you trust yourself and your feelings (and don't screw things up by thinking anyone else's grass looks greener. ). good luck and god bless your marriage.
> 
> ...



Mine are .jpg for pics and mpeg4 for vids... Wait, was that TMI??

Um, lets just say I have tons of family pics??


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## mattmac (Apr 14, 2008)

No pictures of the wife and I just yet...but here are two from the Bahamas to hold you over until then.  The sunset picture is from the private Sandals island, and the other is a view from our room.


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## Fisher's Mom (Apr 14, 2008)

What lovely pictures, Matt! Ya'll picked a perfect place to start your new life together. I'm so happy for you and your bride (who we have yet to see, BTW. hint, hint).


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## Katie H (Apr 14, 2008)

Beautiful pictures, Matt.  So clear and inviting.  Now...let's see some of  the happy couple.


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## B'sgirl (Apr 14, 2008)

You are really making me want to go back to Cancun!


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## darlenemt08 (Apr 15, 2008)

Congrats Matt!  The pics looks like they could be put on postcards and be made into puzzles.

I'm single and want to get married but I haven't found the right guy yet.  He'd have to accept my 3 dogs as my "kids".  I've been slowly planning my own wedding for the past several years.  I have my colors picked out and have ideas of what I like & don't like.  I'll eventually start making my own decorations and put those away.  I have a cake picked out but I haven't seen its picture in a few years.  My oldest sister has the cake book it's in and since we're not on speaking terms, I can't just ask to borrow the book...bent the corner of the page the cake pic is on.  I can't remember what the book looks like but I pretty well remember what the cake looks like.  So, I've been surfing eBay on occasion for cake books that I think may have it but I've ended up buying the wrong ones.  I'm not rushing to find the cake book but I'd like to have it to add to my wedding stuff.

I can't afford a wedding and would hope that my future husband would have some money to help pay for a decent wedding which as far as I'm concerned, it'd mean either eloping or having a very small wedding with our parents & my sister and anybody else whose's very close to us.  My sister would help me with the expense some and my mom would sew almost anything I want...dress, decorations, & etc.  My sister & I and our parents don't get along with part of my siblings.  So, I don't want a big wedding...just a decent wedding with a nice reception later on.  I'd like a nice honeymoon within the continental U.S...nothing fancy.  I have a few ideas in mind.  I won't fly and so, I want a nice honeymoon that I can get to by car. 

Darlene


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## Cath4420 (Apr 15, 2008)

The pictures are gorgeous Matt, it reminds me of Cairns and Great Keppel Island on the Great Barrier Reef.  I bet it was hard waking up to that view out of your room every morning!


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## jennyhill (Apr 15, 2008)

Hey Matt, Congrats.

Wish you a happy married life.


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## mattmac (Apr 15, 2008)

Thanks, everyone!  Got some pictures of US, so when I get home today I'll post a few.    It was REALLY difficult getting up for work today...urgh.  My view isn't nearly as nice.  Heck, I don't even have a window.


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## expatgirl (Apr 15, 2008)

Be sure to take a  framed picture of Mrs. MM  or the two of you if your office allows it to work if you sit at a desk!


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## buckytom (Apr 15, 2008)

whaa-pish!!!!!


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## Fisher's Mom (Apr 15, 2008)

buckytom said:


> whaa-pish!!!!!


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## mattmac (Apr 15, 2008)

Finally, here we are.  Mr. and Mrs. M!


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## Maverick2272 (Apr 15, 2008)

Funny how we all emmediately recognized that sound there BT, LOL.

Lovely woman, you are a lucky man Matt! Congrats again!


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## kitchenelf (Apr 15, 2008)

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww - great pic!


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## Katie H (Apr 15, 2008)

You two look so happy!  Keep it up.

Hold that image in your mind when you have difficult times.  It will dilute yucky times.


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## pdswife (Apr 15, 2008)

isn't love wonderful!!  ENJOY yours and keep it safe.


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## Fisher's Mom (Apr 15, 2008)

Yep, love is grand! Ya'll look so happy and make a beautiful couple, Matt. Just work hard to keep that big smile on your bride's face and you will have a long and happy marriage!


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## suziquzie (Apr 15, 2008)

YOu look so contented! 
I hope you are always that way... congrats again!


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## Mama (Apr 16, 2008)

What a beautiful couple!


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## mattmac (Apr 16, 2008)

Thank you, everyone!


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## Bilby (Apr 16, 2008)

Great photos Matt!


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## Cath4420 (Apr 16, 2008)

You two look great together, great photo, once again, congrats!


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## buckytom (Apr 16, 2008)

ok, i have to say it: awww, you two do look happy. and your wife has a really nice smile.

congrats.

and just so you know it, i have a coupla pictures on my desk of my wife...


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## B'sgirl (Apr 16, 2008)

Congratulations! Great picture!


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## mattmac (Apr 16, 2008)

She does have a great smile.  Makes me melt every time.    I'll get a picture of the wedding ceremony for you all later today.    I knew I was going to cry when she walked down the aisle, and I was right.  Heck, as soon as I saw her figure through the glass in the doors of the church, that was it.  She was (is) so beautiful.  What an intense feeling...it lasted all day, and I can't really remember many details of the ceremony and reception because of it.  A few people at work told me that's how it would be, and they were right on the money.

Thankfully we had a friend videotape it and had a professional photographer (and his daughter), and lots of family snapping away.


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## PanchoHambre (Apr 16, 2008)

aww sweet pic congrats


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## Fisher's Mom (Apr 16, 2008)

mattmac said:


> She does have a great smile.  Makes me melt every time.    I'll get a picture of the wedding ceremony for you all later today.    I knew I was going to cry when she walked down the aisle, and I was right.  Heck, as soon as I saw her figure through the glass in the doors of the church, that was it.  She was (is) so beautiful.  What an intense feeling...it lasted all day, and I can't really remember many details of the ceremony and reception because of it.  A few people at work told me that's how it would be, and they were right on the money.


Reading this made _me_ cry! Along with all the other momentos, print this thread and let you bride read it. Not only will it make her cry, it will ensure a lot of whoopie in your marriage.


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## Chief Longwind Of The North (Apr 18, 2008)

mattmac said:


> Finally, here we are. Mr. and Mrs. M!


 
I love the glow and the gleaming eyes.  Everything is said by that picture.  You're going to have a great marriage.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


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## GotGarlic (Apr 18, 2008)

Congratulations, Matt. Here's to the happy couple:


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## meshoo96 (Apr 25, 2008)

lulu said:


> Congratulations.  DH and I ha our families planning a huge wedding with all the bells on, an we felt our choices were being ignored and planned over....so, having got our licences etc a year before the planned date, the registrar told us she had a cancellation two weeks later.  we didn't tell any one until the day before, and then just slipped off to get marrie quietly and together.  I felt pretty bad for our fmilies, but I think it was the right choice for us!
> 
> Hve a great day, enjoy it, and remember, its about YOU two!



DH and I are planning on not telling the family we are getting married until a week before, after we did all the planning and told them to come to a huge party...


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## meshoo96 (Apr 25, 2008)

great pics of the honeymoon and u guys look happy....good luck...


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## jpmcgrew (Apr 25, 2008)

CONGRATULATIONS to the both of you. All the advice you have received is priceless. My only suggestion is to print this whole thread and put it in a safe place and if a day comes and the two of you are having a tough time whether in life or with each other pull it out and read it together. It will remind you of why you two are together.


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## Katie H (Apr 25, 2008)

jpmcgrew said:


> CONGRATULATIONS to the both of you. All the advice you have received is priceless. My only suggestion is to print this whole thread and put it in a safe place and if a day comes and the two of you are having a tough time whether in life or with each other pull it out and read it together. It will remind you of why you two are together.



Absolutely  fabulous  suggestion, jp.  Yes, matt, print out and  laminate and save  as  jp said.  There will be rough times and times when you and your  lovely wife will  want to strangle each other.  Yes, it happens.  But, you will work through it and come out on the other side better people.

Best wishes for hundreds of years of happily married life.


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## jpmcgrew (Apr 25, 2008)

Katie E said:


> Absolutely fabulous suggestion, jp. Yes, matt, print out and laminate and save as jp said. There will be rough times and times when you and your lovely wife will want to strangle each other. Yes, it happens. But, you will work through it and come out on the other side better people.
> 
> Best wishes for hundreds of years of happily married life.


 Thanks Katie, I just wanted to put a bit of reality into being married and yes it's is wonderful but as other things in life you may have some challenges that will test the both of you. When we get married most of us think it's going to be birds, flowers and pretty music but the days do come when you fall on hard times either in life or just not agreeing on the same things so I think you need to be best friends first. Anything after that is great. Another thing is let each other be ,love each other as you started because you can't change each other and give each other the freedom to do what they love to do and vise versa.


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