# A brilliant Dr. answers questions on food and health



## Kayelle (Jun 7, 2010)

I   love this  Doctor!  





*Q:  Doctor,   I've  heard that  cardiovascular exercise   can prolong life.  Is  this true?    
*A: Your heart only  good for  so  many beats, and that it...don't waste on exercise.    Everything  wear out eventually.   Speeding up heart  not make you live   longer; it like saying you extend life of  car by  driving  faster.  Want to live longer?  Take   nap.   
*
Q:  Should I cut down  on meat and eat more fruits  and vegetables?    
*A: You must grasp  logistical   efficiency.  What does cow eat?   Hay  and  corn.    And what are these?     Vegetables.  So  steak is  nothing more than  efficient mechanism of  delivering   verge tables to your system.   Need grain?  Eat   chicken.  Beef  also good source of field grass (green   leafy  vegetable).  And pork chop can give you 100% of    recommended daily allowance of vegetable  product. Ice Cream   even better – everything Cow  eats in one package!   
*
Q:  Should  I reduce my alcohol intake? *
A:     No, not at all.  Wine made from  fruit.  Brandy   is distilled wine, that mean  they take water out of fruity bit   so you get  even more of goodness that way.  Beer also    made of grain.. All people who don’t drink  unhappy – happy   people live longer so drink  more. Bottom up!  
*
Q:   How   can I calculate my body/fat ratio?     
*A: Well, if you  have body  and you have  fat, your ratio one to one.  If   you have two bodies, your ratio  two to one, etc.   
*
Q:  What  are some of     the advantages of participating  in a  regular  exercise program?  
*A: Can't think  of  single one, sorry.  More people killed running  on street than  lying on couch. My  philosophy is:  No  pain...good! 
*Q:   Aren't   fried foods bad for you? *
A:    YOU NOT LISTENING!   Food are fried  these day in  vegetable oil.  In fact, they   permeated by it.  How  could getting more  vegetable be bad  for you?!?     
*
Q*:    *Will    sit-ups help prevent  me from getting a little soft   around the middle?   
*A:  Definitely not!  When  you  exercise muscle, it get bigger.   You should  only be  doing sit-up if you want bigger  stomach.   
*
Q:    What about food  additives?* 
A: You want to   complain  about something for free? If it added – must be    better – like fuel additive! &nbs  p;
*Q:    Is chocolate bad for me?    
*A:  Are you   crazy?!?   HEL-LO-O!!  Cocoa bean!  Another    vegetable!  It best feel-good food around!    
*
Q:   Is swimming good for  your figure?      
*A:  If   swimming good for your  figure, explain whale to  me..  
*
Q:   Is getting  in  shape important for my lifestyle?     
*A:   Hey!    'Round' a shape!  

Well, I  hope  this has  cleared up any misconceptions you  may have had about food  and  diets. 

And   remember:  

*Life   should NOT be a journey to the  grave with the  intention of  arriving safely in an attractive   and well-preserved body, but  rather to skid in  sideways -  Chardonnay in one hand -  chocolate in  the other - body thoroughly  used up,    totally worn out and screaming " WOO-HOO,  what  a   ride!!"   
*


AND.....

For     those of you who watch what you eat,  here's the final   word on nutrition and health.   It's a relief to know the   truth after all  those conflicting nutritional  studies.     

1. The Japanese eat very little    fat
      and  suffer fewer  heart  attacks than  Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of    fat
      and  suffer fewer  heart  attacks than Americans.  

3. The Chinese drink very   little red  wine 
      and   suffer fewer heart  attacks than  Americans.

4. The  Italians  drink a lot of  red  wine
      and  suffer fewer heart   attacks than Americans.   

5. The Germans drink a   lot of beer  and eat lots of  sausages and fats     
      and  suffer fewer  heart attacks  than Americans.  

CONCLUSION:
*
Eat   and drink what  you like.
Speaking English is apparently   what  kills  you. *


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## Mimizkitchen (Jun 7, 2010)

K girl I got that as an e-mail about a month ago from my crazy irish friend...  funny stuff...


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## ChefJune (Jun 7, 2010)

seen that before.  love it!


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## Claire (Jun 7, 2010)

Makes my day!


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## Andy M. (Jun 7, 2010)

Thanks - very funny


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## babetoo (Jun 7, 2010)

my kinda doctor. the ones i have now are full of does and don'ts


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## kadesma (Jun 7, 2010)

Woo Hoo just what I needed to hear
kades


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