# When dining out...



## velochic (Jan 15, 2011)

I had some questions of what others thought in regards to table reservations and how long you dine.

If you have made a reservation for a table at a restaurant, is that table "yours" for the rest of the evening?

What if you've made an early dinner reservation... say 7PM and it's a special "date night" with your significant other or some other special occasion?  Do you think it would be okay, as long as you are still ordering and S.L.O.W.L.Y eating and drinking, to remain at the table for say, 3 or 4 hours (or until closing)?

How do you react, when (if) the maître d'(hôtel) were to approach you and ask you to finish your meal (or giving really strong hints), as there is another booking you are keeping waiting?

For lesser fine dining, if you just walk into a restaurant and you want a leisurely meal that lasts a couple of hours and the waitress gets huffy about it after a bit, what do you do?

I've run across this in America every once in a while, but never abroad.  Sometimes, when dh and I have a rare night to ourselves, we don't want a dinner and a movie or a dinner and dancing... we just want a nice, long, relaxing dinner where we can order our courses leisurely.  The meal is the whole "date".  More and more often, though, we're running into the attitude that after an hour we're no longer welcome.  Give the darn tip and move on.

We're not card-carrying "Slow Food Movement" members, but feel that when we can, we should, take our time when out.

What are your thoughts on it?  Is the table yours for the evening or should you give it up?  FTR, in these cases, we not only factor in the bill when giving a tip, but what the overall per-hour rate for the server would be, so they are not getting short-changed any by having us there... unless they get huffy.  

I don't think there are any right or wrong answers to this and it can probably go both ways - just wondering what others think.  I'm sure there are some "behind-the-scenes" restaurant issues to this that I'm not thinking about as the patron.


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## PrincessFiona60 (Jan 15, 2011)

The restaurant is expecting to turn that table over every 45 - 60 minutes.  Unless you are spending the equivalent of a full meal for two for each hour, you are messing with their bottom line.

With that being said...I believe it is your table until you are ready to leave.


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## Robo410 (Jan 15, 2011)

When making a reservation before theatre, I'll let the maitre d' know we have a curtain to make. That gives several messages such as we'll be done by 7:30 and need to be done by then.
If making a reservation for a long slow meal, I'll tend to make it late, say 7:30 or 8 and expect to be there to the end.
If making an early reservation, I expect the restaurant to want to turn the table.


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## Kayelle (Jan 15, 2011)

I think a 45-60 min. time line for an _upscale_ _expensive_ restaurant isn't reasonable, although they may _want _that, it's not going to happen in my world. A three hour date night sounds more like it.
An ordinary restaurant, ok, that sounds about right.

I agree the bottom line, is the table is yours until you choose to leave,  certainly if you are continuing to eat and drink.  

Interesting subject, velochic....I'm sure there will be many responses.


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## PrincessFiona60 (Jan 15, 2011)

Kayelle said:


> _*I think a 45-60 min. time line for an upscale expensive restaurant isn't reasonable, although they may want that, it's not going to happen in my world.*_ A three hour date night sounds more like it.
> An ordinary restaurant, ok, that sounds about right.
> 
> I agree the bottom line, is the table is yours until you choose to leave, certainly if you are continuing to eat and drink.
> ...


 
I completely agree...but that is what they wish for, even if it does take you 20-30 minutes to get your meal.

Personally, if waitstaff gets huffy with me, it takes me much longer to chew and digest...


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## Kayelle (Jan 15, 2011)

> Personally, if waitstaff gets huffy with me, it takes me much longer to chew and digest...



Haa Haa.....so it's not just me?  That's when I get all "Ms. Manners" and chew each bite 10 times, dabbing my napkin to the corners of my mouth, and carefully folding the napkin back into my lap, preparing ever so carefully for the next morsel.


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## FrankZ (Jan 15, 2011)

Has anyone ever sent food back because it was too soon?  I have.  Sometimes I like to spend some time eating a course before the next one comes, and sometimes the restaurant wants to push you through the meal.

I don't feel as bad for the restaurant when lingering, but you have to remember the wait staff needs the turn over as well, or they don't make any, or much, money.  Of course I do expect them top provide good service, but if they do you may want to tip a little more when you spend considerably more time at the table.


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## Andy M. (Jan 15, 2011)

In an upscale restaurant, there shouldn't be any time limit expectations.  You're there to savor the fine dining and carefully prepared meal.  I'm sure table turnover times for an upscale place are a lot longer than 45-60 minutes.  And remember, any turnover rate is an average.

For lower cost and chain restaurants, you get your food faster and they don't expect you to stay.  A 45-60 minute turnover makes more sense there.

I've been rushed and cannot abide it.  We often manage dinner times by ordering one course at a time.


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## PrincessFiona60 (Jan 15, 2011)

I admit, I may not have ever eaten in what you folks are calling an Upscale Restaurant...for me it's upscale if the napkins are cloth.


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## Kayelle (Jan 15, 2011)

Frank, velochic said this:



> in these cases, we not only factor in the bill when giving a tip,  but what the overall per-hour rate for the server would be, so they are  not getting short-changed any by having us there... unless they get  huffy.



I think that's very generous and thoughtful, frankly not something I would have thought of considering a normal tip for an expensive meal.


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## velochic (Jan 15, 2011)

First of all, I wanted to reiterate that the waiter is NOT going to get the short end of the stick in this situation.  I already mentioned that.

It's more about being rushed through a meal.  When is it okay to be rushed in a restaurant?

So, it sounds like if it's, say, a steakhouse, where the meal runs you $100 for 2 people, people are leaning toward it being okay to kind of rush you along.  If it's fine dining and you're spending upwards of $200, $300 or more for the evening, then it's not okay to rush you along.  Or maybe not that it's okay/not okay, but it can be expected/is not expected.

How much do you have to spend for them to let you have the table for the evening, though?  Is it about how much you spend?

BTW, I'm not talking about places like Applebee's or Outback Steakhouse.  Not chain restaurants that serve the freeze & fry foods.  I realize that people probably are not going to choose that as a destination restaurant, anyway.


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## pacanis (Jan 15, 2011)

When I used to have "date nights" and wanted to spend leisurely time in the dining room, rather than going to the lounge to continue our evening out, I would make a later reservation, in the 8:30 range. That way I figured they knew I was the last meal at that table. I have never felt rushed no matter where or when I ate though. That's just plain rude.
Wait, I take that back. If I am eating a late lunch and am inbetween shifts I've gotten that hurried service from the first shift waitress.


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## Kayelle (Jan 15, 2011)

> It's more about being rushed through a meal.  When is it okay to be rushed in a restaurant?



My answer is it's never ok to be rushed in a restaurant.....it's not only rude, but they will not get my return business, let alone generous tip.  And by the way, I consider a $100 meal for two a date night.


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## PattY1 (Jan 15, 2011)

velochic said:


> So, it sounds like if it's, say, a steakhouse, where the meal runs you *$100 for 2 people*, people are leaning toward it being okay to kind of rush you along.  *If it's fine dining and you're spending upwards of $200, $300 or more for the evening*, then it's not okay to rush you along.  Or maybe not that it's okay/not okay, but it can be expected/is not expected.




You people are way out of my league.


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## pacanis (Jan 15, 2011)

PattY1 said:


> You people are way out of my league.


 
I was hoping that included the bar bill


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## babetoo (Jan 15, 2011)

i won't gulp my food for anyone. especially if we are a large group with a huge bill. doesn't matter to me where we are. as a family we had thanksgiving at marie callendars. not only was the food just awful but they tried rushing us. brought dessert in the middle of main course. we stayed put and because of the food and the rush, didn't leave much of a tip. as far as restaurants go, i feel they are there to feed people. if they don't make enough money maybe they should re examine the food and service. i am a meanie huh?


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## taxlady (Jan 15, 2011)

Doesn't it also depend on how busy the restaurant is?


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## LindaZ (Jan 15, 2011)

For special dinners that require reservations, since I'm the one making them, I will always ask if there is a time limit on the table and explain that it is a special occasion and we might be there a while. There is usually a good tip at the end, and I've never had problems with service or waitstaff. Of course, we don't eat out at reservation type restaraunts all that much -  most of the time it's called - "Call ahead seating..."


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## Kathleen (Jan 15, 2011)

It does not matter to me whether I'm at a fine restaurant or the local diner: I feel like the table is mine until I am ready to leave.  That being said, I am a generous tipper when I linger if the staff continues to check on me and ensures I feel welcome to linger.  

There have been times where we have gone to Sport's Bars to watch a game.  We will have lunch/dinner and linger during the game.  The meal is not especially expensive and I have tipped the cost of the bill before because the wait staff has made me feel it is fine to linger.

If I feel I am being treated rudely, I'll ask to see a manager.  If I do not get satisfaction (which is exceptionally rare,) I will not return and will tell those I know about the experience.  

I've never had an upscale restaurant rush me along except with the timing of the food.  Frank has no issue asking them to slow things down or refusing the next course if they continue.  Then...again, a word to the manager usually resolves the issue.

~Kathleen


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## Nicholas Mosher (Jan 15, 2011)

> We often manage dinner times by ordering one course at a time.



This is the key.  I do this as a matter of standard practice.

We'll order drinks and appetizers, and then I tell the waitstaff to return the menus/wine-list when we finish our appetizers.  Naturally there is another pause while dinner is cleared before we order coffee and dessert.  Same goes for a digestif... when the coffee is gone I order.


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## Claire (Jan 15, 2011)

If you're getting the bum's rush at a good quality place, never go back.  Period.  If you've made reservations, show up on time, etc, then they are wrong to make another reservation for that table.  I'm assuming we aren't talking about a chain restaurant where turnover is the key.  I would also, when I left, make sure I let the owner/maitre d' knew that I wasn't coming back and was telling my friends about it.  AND I'd consider writing a letter to the editor of the paper (not kidding here; I live in a very small Midwestern town and I do this sometimes without naming names).  

A less fine dining establishment?  There are ways of letting the waitress know that her tip is being established based on her attitude.  Of course hubby, friends and I are all drinkers, and we tip the guy/gal generously on the first round of drinks.  THEN they have the message.  People don't want us to leave!

It is funny this came up because we had this happen last night.  We went to a local brew-pub, and had made reservations for a large table.  It promised to be a very busy night, because of the entertainment, _that's why we made reservations_.  The waitress was just this side of rude, obviously trying, as I said, to give us the bum's rush.  Huh?  Fine, OK.  since we couldn't get separate checks ("it's going to be really busy tonight" with the implication that she wanted us in and out in a hurry), and hubby was furious.  I took to waitressing from the bar myself, because I'd tipped the barkeep a buck on my first drink.  So every time I got up and walked to the bar, one of the bartenders was waiting for me (the place was packed), filled my order first, and oops!  There went one more dollar our "waitress" lost.  If she was tipped by our table, it was minimally.  She wasn't even busy, she was anticipating that she might be busy.  At one point (we had a table for 12), a few of our party left, and I told our waitress that she could pull off a 4-cover.  She was even snotty then!  No, she didn't want to be any busier than she was.  I got up and pulled it off myself, just so we could sit closer together and sing and talk.  

Well, her loss.  We didn't tip her at all, I don't think anyone else was that snotty (it was, as we were very snottily informed when we arrived, no separate checks, it was going to be too busy).  

But the real bottom line is money talks.


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## taxlady (Jan 15, 2011)

Even when the service is rude, I tip. But, the I leave less than a quarter. I wouldn't want the rude staff to think I forgot or that I never tip.

I have waited tables here in Montreal. Montrealers are generally pretty good tippers. But, when we get folks from other countries, ya never know what they think is generous or if they are going to tip at all. Different customs in different countries.


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## luvs (Jan 16, 2011)

i tend 2 think of others- very rude IMO 2 overstay....... i get cranky when i'm hungry & often people similar 2 me leave & take thier business elsewhere & won't return when the wait is absurd. ettiqutte is etiqutte~


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## velochic (Jan 16, 2011)

luvs said:


> i tend 2 think of others- very rude IMO 2 overstay....... i get cranky when i'm hungry & often people similar 2 me leave & take thier business elsewhere & won't return when the wait is absurd. ettiqutte is etiqutte~



So you're saying that it's rude to enjoy your leisurely, expensive meal because you should be thinking about the other people who didn't think ahead to make reservations?  That's a different perspective.  Also, I'm not really talking about the kind of restaurants that you'd typically just "walk in" to eat.  I'm thinking restaurants where if you walk in without a reservation, you're possibly going to be told to leave, anyway (because they don't accept walk-in clientele).  That was really the type of restaurant I was thinking of in my original post.  And I'm not talking about just sitting at a table chatting after the meal when the check is paid and drinks are gone, but still eating and drinking and finishing your meal.  Are you to choke down your food quickly if someone is waiting?

I don't think so.  Actually, dining-out etiquette doesn't really dictate the length of time you spend at a table.  There are no rules, so it's not a matter of etiquette.  Outside of the US, it's typical to spend several hours in a restaurant, with as much as 30 minutes between courses and lingering over coffee to make a meal out even 4 or 5 hours!  Dining out is a little more sacred, though.  People in Europe and the Middle East (the areas of the world I'm familiar with) don't eat out very often compared to people in the US, so it's more of an experience.

I also think it's a factor of appreciating the food.  We try to choose places where the chef is thoughtful and creative.  To scarf down the food without contemplation is, IMO, kind of rude to the chef.

It's interesting to see different perspectives.  I appreciate the thought-provoking discussion.


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## pacanis (Jan 16, 2011)

I don't recall anyone saying they should scarf down their food because others might be waiting.  I thought luvs was simply saying that the diners should be considerate of others who might be waiting and not dilly dally.

Just speaking for myself, I would be slightly peeved if I had 9:00 dinner reservations and could not be seated until 10:30 because the people at my table decided to dine like they did when they visited Europe. I don't think it's unreasonable for the restaurant or club to have an expected rotation between customers based on business up to that point. It might be more reasonable for the dinner party to inform them that they would be making an evening of it when they made the reservations.


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## velochic (Jan 16, 2011)

pacanis said:


> I don't recall anyone saying they should scarf down their food because others might be waiting.  I thought luvs was simply saying that the diners should be considerate of others who might be waiting and not dilly dally.
> 
> Just speaking for myself, I would be slightly peeved if I had 9:00 dinner reservations and could not be seated until 10:30 because the people at my table decided to dine like they did when they visited Europe. I don't think it's unreasonable for the restaurant or club to have an expected rotation between customers based on business up to that point. It might be more reasonable for the dinner party to inform them that they would be making an evening of it when they made the reservations.



I was going off of the "if there is a wait, leave and take your business elsewhere" comment... as in, if you want dessert or drinks/coffee, go elsewhere so others can have your table or finish up quickly.  Perhaps I misinterpreted it.  I also was responding to the "it's rude" to linger over your meal.    Of course there are differences of opinions, and I'm sure it depends on the "type" of restaurant.  That's why I thought it would be an interesting discussion.  

Abroad, restaurants often have a cover charge.  I like that because then you know if you have the table or not.  It's not implied.  And if waiters in the US were paid a living wage like they are abroad, then the tip would not even come into the equation.  The way the restaurant business is set up in the US kind of lends itself to fast turnaround and indigestion.


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## Claire (Jan 16, 2011)

Luvs, I hate to disagree with you and seldom do.  But I'm a damned good cook as are my friends.  If you need to be in and out that fast, then go to Applebees or McDonalds.  I have nothing against those places, but I was in and with the military most of my young life, and I don't stand in line for food, and I refuse to let anyone eject me from my seat when I've made reservations, gotten dressed up for a night on the town.  Bad service is bad service.  Period.  I've eaten in chow halls, and refuse to be treated like I'm in a chow hall when I've planned for a nice night out ("date" nights, as some of you have said), am paying through the nose for it.  If you want to stand in line, eat, get thrown off your table so another can come in, then you should either stay home or stick to chain restaurants where they need a turnover of 3 or more tables a night, but not a nice place.


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## Mimizkitchen (Jan 16, 2011)

I have mixed feelings on this subject... I worked in restaurants for many years,foh and boh, and velochic you hit the nail on the head when you stated that if servers (in this country) were paid a living wage it would not be such a big deal... However, that is not the case, so as a server do I want you to sit around, no because more than likely the tip will not compensate the money that could have been made if the table was turned over a few times... Sad but true that most (not everyone) but most people do not tip well... Do I want you to woof done your food and get the hell out, no, I want you to enjoy your meal, but making a reservation at lets say 7pm doesn't give someone the right to close the restaurant... IMO... I believe it's a matter of common sense, and courtesy...


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## mollyanne (Jan 16, 2011)

Velochic and Mimiz have a good point. I've never known a hotel, for instance, let their guests occupy the room after the 11am checkout time at no extra charge. Turnover is what keeps them in business. It's hard enough for struggling businesses to stay in business in this current economic crisis we're in. I see so many commercial spaces that are empty now. I can't  imagine a lawyer saying, "...stick around as long as you like, put your feet up on my desk, party with your friends...let me know when you're finished...no extra charge...my compliments"


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## FrankZ (Jan 16, 2011)

mollyanne said:


> Velochic and Mimiz have a good point. I've never known a hotel, for instance, let their guests occupy the room after the 11am checkout time at no extra charge. Turnover is what keeps them in business. It's hard enough for struggling businesses to stay in business in this current economic crisis we're in. I see so many commercial spaces that are empty now. I can't  imagine a lawyer saying, "...stick around as long as you like, put your feet up on my desk, party with your friends...let me know when you're finished...no extra charge...my compliments"




We have requested, and received, late checkout at many hotels, and never had to pay extra for a couple hours.  We did negotiate a small fee for a late afternoon (4PM) checkout once.


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## Mimizkitchen (Jan 16, 2011)

Yes but have you ever negotiated with your attorney...


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## FrankZ (Jan 16, 2011)

Hey.. I got a nice box of cookies from the attorney once.. 


Spend $16k and get a $20 box of cookies.. and probably billed me for the time it took to send.


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## Mimizkitchen (Jan 16, 2011)

Thank God he didn't bake them!!!! CA CHING...


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## mollyanne (Jan 16, 2011)

FrankZ said:
			
		

> We have requested, and received, late checkout at many hotels, and never had to pay extra for a couple hours. We did negotiate a small fee for a late afternoon (4PM) checkout once.


Yes, hotels will offer a 1 hour leeway in some cases at no charge because their check-in time isn't until 3pm. But if everyone did that then the housekeepers wouldn't have time to clean all those rooms and incoming guests would be out of luck...wouldn't they?


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## roadfix (Jan 16, 2011)

luvs said:


> i tend 2 think of others- very rude IMO 2 overstay....... i get cranky when i'm hungry & often people similar 2 me leave & take thier business elsewhere & won't return when the wait is absurd. ettiqutte is etiqutte~



I think of others and try to finish eating quickly ONLY when I see a crowd of people waiting to be seated, usually at casual, no reservation joints.


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## Andy M. (Jan 16, 2011)

mollyanne said:


> ...I've never known a hotel, for instance, let their guests occupy the room after the 11am checkout time at no extra charge...




This is a completely different situation.  You are renting a room for a set period of time and they tell you up front when you have to be out.  Not at all the same as a restaurant.


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## FrankZ (Jan 16, 2011)

I think hotels have it down well enough and it is likely you wouldn't have an entire house sold out AND everyone wanting to stay that late unless it is an event.

I have also shown up and been checked in early (like 10AM).  After a 7 hour flight, with a 5 hour time difference, then a 2 hour drive it was very appreciated to be able to just check in and get a nap.


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## pacanis (Jan 16, 2011)

FrankZ said:


> *I think hotels have it down well enough and it is likely you wouldn't have an entire house sold out AND everyone wanting to stay that late unless it is an event.*
> 
> I have also shown up and been checked in early (like 10AM). After a 7 hour flight, with a 5 hour time difference, then a 2 hour drive it was very appreciated to be able to just check in and get a nap.


 
Like an insomniacs convention?


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## GrillingFool (Jan 16, 2011)

I think that in America, if you KNOW that you will be spending some hours at the table, it is essential that you inform the restaurant WHEN YOU MAKE THE RESERVATION.

EVERY restaurant has to plan. If they take reservations, they have to use an average
meal time to schedule subsequent tables.

So if you DONT inform them, you are being very thoughtless and selfish to the people
who have a reservation after you.

Also, I think that when you do inform the restaurant that you will be spending hours,
they should inform you that there will be a minimum 30% or so tip. Wait staff depends
on turnover to make their money, so if you are going to kill their table count, you should make up for it monetarily.


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## mollyanne (Jan 16, 2011)

pacanis said:


> Like an insomniacs convention?


*pacanis*....

*GrillingFool*...very well said!...even if you DID get a little LOUD every now and then  (...just teasing)

.


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## taxlady (Jan 17, 2011)

My mum always made up on the tip for any long stays in restaurants. She did this especially in the less expensive restaurants. She explained to us, when we were kids, that the wait staff could be making tips if someone else had the table, so she wanted to make sure it didn't cost them.


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## PrincessFiona60 (Jan 17, 2011)

I have been known to tip the kitchen, too.  Exemplary service and food is very well rewarded, often the price of our meal will be spent again if we are treated well.

I waitressed once for 1 week...never again, I couldn't stand it.  But, I sure love working in the kitchens.


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## Frenchys (Jan 17, 2011)

45-60 min in a restaurant ???

sure 3-4h is quite a lot unless you go an see Chef Bocuse, but in France we stay in a casual restaurant at least for 1h-1h30


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## Kathleen (Jan 18, 2011)

PrincessFiona60 said:


> I have been known to tip the kitchen, too.  Exemplary service and food is very well rewarded, often the price of our meal will be spent again if we are treated well.
> 
> I waitressed once for 1 week...never again, I couldn't stand it.  But, I sure love working in the kitchens.



As mentioned earlier, I have tipped the price of my meal or more when lingering for an excessive amount of time.  I make sure my waiter or waitress is always taken care of if they have given me good service.  That being said, if there is a mandatory tip, the waiter/waitress always loses money with me.  A tip is a gratuity.  It is offensive to me when people do not tip a waiter or waitress appropriately, but it is also offensive to me when I am told what I have to tip.  It's even more offensive when the service is lacking as it often is in such places.  If there is a mandatory tip, I never tip more or less - sadly.  And I rarely return.

~Kathleen


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## Rocklobster (Jan 18, 2011)

Has anybody here ever been asked to leave?  Any restaurant I have worked at has never had a policy if people want to stay. Normally, the waitress would close the bill off, if the patrons stop ordering drinks or dessert and not go back to the table again. Eventually, the people get the message.


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## Skittle68 (Jan 18, 2011)

As a server at a steakhouse, I can't believe servers who are rude to customers. I don't care if you have been there for 3 hours, and are drinking water, I will just bring you a pitcher and wander by periodically so you can flag me down if you need anything. While I think it is prudent to keep your time at the table a little shorter if there is a wait, it is still up to you. If there are open tables, however, you are NOT affecting the restaurant's bottom line, and the table is yours for however long you want it. I've left people sitting at tables in the dining room even after the kitchen closed (our bar is open til 1) with instructions to go see the bar tender if they needed anything else, and that he was aware they were there. There is never an excuse to rush customers unless it is closing time.  If customers seem to think they are in the way I am always sure to tell them I get paid by the hour, and I am there til the kitchen closes (even if it would actually have been slow enough for me to leave early) so there is absolutely no rush.


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## PattY1 (Jan 18, 2011)

KathleenA said:


> As mentioned earlier, I have tipped the price of my meal or more when lingering for an excessive amount of time.  I make sure my waiter or waitress is always taken care of if they have given me good service.  That being said, if there is a mandatory tip, the waiter/waitress always loses money with me.  *A tip is a gratuity.*  It is offensive to me when people do not tip a waiter or waitress appropriately, but it is also offensive to me when I am told what I have to tip.  It's even more offensive when the service is lacking as it often is in such places.  If there is a mandatory tip, I never tip more or less - sadly.  And I rarely return.
> 
> ~Kathleen



Off topic, I know.
If I am asked "do you want your change?". I NEVER tip no matter how good the service was. I think that is just RUDE. When paying with "plastic" I will tip in "cash" if the service is GOOD well above the minimum. Then the server will only have to claim the amount that is required.


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## Kathleen (Jan 18, 2011)

@ Rocklobster - I've never been asked to leave for lingering.  In college, there were a few requests due to crowd-rowdiness.    Once I grew up, there was a time my party was asked to move locations so they could seat a larger party.  It was not upscale dining, and we were done with the meal and were simply catching up so we happily complied. The manager was so grateful that he gave us a second go-around with complimentary desserts.  Momma said it pays to be nice...always.  

@Patty1 - That is something to consider when paying with a CC.  I had not thought of it.  Thanks!

~Kathleen


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## Skittle68 (Jan 18, 2011)

PattY1 said:
			
		

> Off topic, I know.
> If I am asked "do you want your change?". I NEVER tip no matter how good the service was. I think that is just RUDE. When paying with "plastic" I will tip in "cash" if the service is GOOD well above the minimum. Then the server will only have to claim the amount that is required.



I agree the server should always assume you DO want your change, but on the other hand, a lot of servers (like me) make change out of their apron, and it takes quite a bit more time than just grabbing it out of a register. When you are busy, taking time to make unnecessary change takes time away from other customers. Also, as far as the automatic gratuity, most places will take it off if you don't think you got good service. I hate putting the gratuity on, but when I have a big group, I pass on other tables so that I can dedicate myself to making sure my group is happy, so if it happens to be a group who doesn't believe in tipping, my night is shot.  Oh, and I don't believe in that no splitting the check nonsense. My restaurant has a banquet room, and I split the check 15 ways for a group of forty one time. What's the difference?? Sure it's a pain, but that's my job.


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## Andy M. (Jan 18, 2011)

I can recall having dinner with another couple from DC at a local Chinese restaurant.  We were there for several hours and after a while the manager and server kept dropping by asking if we wanted anything else.  Then the manager just lurked near the table while we talked.

I did not understand this as the restaurant was no more than half full.


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## Rocklobster (Jan 18, 2011)

Andy M. said:


> I can recall having dinner at a local Chinese restaurant. .


 
One restaurant in Toronto, many years ago, we had to watch a cook through the glass doors of the kitchen, picking his nose constantly while preparing food. They didn't have to worry about us loitering, we left before the food was served


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## PattY1 (Jan 18, 2011)

Skittle68 said:


> I agree the server should always assume you DO want your change, but on the other hand, a lot of servers (like me) make change out of their apron, and i*t takes quite a bit more time than just grabbing it out of a register. When you are busy, taking time to make unnecessary change takes time away from other customers*. Also, as far as the automatic gratuity, most places will take it off if you don't think you got good service. I hate putting the gratuity on, but when I have a big group, I pass on other tables so that I can dedicate myself to making sure my group is happy, so if it happens to be a group who doesn't believe in tipping, my night is shot.  Oh, and I don't believe in that no splitting the check nonsense. My restaurant has a banquet room, and I split the check 15 ways for a group of forty one time. What's the difference?? Sure it's a pain, but that's my job.



If the _Restaurant_ is THAT busy or the wait staff are that slow, changes are in order. HOW long does it really take to count change??? :scratchingmyhead:


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## Skittle68 (Jan 18, 2011)

PattY1 said:
			
		

> If the Restaurant is THAT busy or the wait staff are that slow, changes are in order. HOW long does it really take to count change??? :scratchingmyhead:



Servers are generally pretty busy during the dinner rush, and you can't always predict how many people will decide to come out to dinner at the same time. If I don't have enough change of my own, I have to go to the bartender to go in the till for me. The bartender is busy too, and sometimes I have to stand there and wait for him to get around to helping me. When you are already running, believe me, it makes a difference. If you were planning on leaving the amount of change that you are getting, what's the difference? Why not just say, "No thanks, the rest is for you," or "Just give me five dollars back and the rest is for you," or something along those lines? Personally I tell the customer I will be right back with some change, and hope they say it's not necessary, but I don't see why it's such a big deal to you if they ask if you need change.


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## DaveSoMD (Jan 18, 2011)

Many restaurants do not have a designated cashier and have to go to the bar and the bar staff to get / make change.  That said I always say in advance, keep the change or I don't want any change.


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## taxlady (Jan 18, 2011)

Skittle68 said:


> Servers are generally pretty busy during the dinner rush, and you can't always predict how many people will decide to come out to dinner at the same time. If I don't have enough change of my own, I have to go to the bartender to go in the till for me. The bartender is busy too, and sometimes I have to stand there and wait for him to get around to helping me. When you are already running, believe me, it makes a difference. If you were planning on leaving the amount of change that you are getting, what's the difference? Why not just say, "No thanks, the rest is for you," or "Just give me five dollars back and the rest is for you," or something along those lines? Personally I tell the customer I will be right back with some change, and hope they say it's not necessary, but I don't see why it's such a big deal to you if they ask if you need change.



Yup, when I am paying I usually figure out the tip and say, "Take $35." or whatever. I don't say give me back $5. I have occasionally given the waiter or taxi driver a 20 when I thought it was a 10 or similar.

Skittle, do you tip your bartender? I was a lot slower serving wait staff who didn't tip me well when I tended bar.


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## PattY1 (Jan 18, 2011)

DaveSoMD said:


> Many restaurants do not have a designated cashier and have to go to the bar and the bar staff to get / make change.  That said I always say in advance, keep the change or I don't want any change.



I still stand by what I posted. It is a pet peeve of mine. The first time it happened to me a waitress asked if I wanted my change from a 100.00 for a bill of 65.00. This was not a upscale place and her service was just barley acceptable. The place was not busy and we didn't stay longer then necessary, keeping her from making more money from other groups.
Like I said in my previous post, you people are out of my league. I have never been in the position where a 35.00 tip was affordable or warranted.


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## Skittle68 (Jan 18, 2011)

We don't tip the bartender here. The bartender takes tables during the dinner rush along with the regular bar patrons, so they make more than us. We bus the bartenders tables, bring food to his/her tables, and anything else we can do to help so that the bartender can stay behind the bar where s/he belongs. In exchange, s/he makes our drinks and gets us change if we need it. If the bartender is too busy I also make my own drinks, since I also bartend on Sundays. But we do tip the kitchen


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## Skittle68 (Jan 18, 2011)

PattY1 said:
			
		

> I still stand by what I posted. It is a pet peeve of mine. The first time it happened to me a waitress asked if I wanted my change from a 100.00 for a bill of 65.00. This was not a upscale place and her service was just barley acceptable. The place was not busy and we didn't stay longer then necessary, keeping her from making more money from other groups.
> Like I said in my previous post, you people are out of my league. I have never been in the position where a 35.00 tips was affordable or warranted.



Maybe she didn't even really look at how much your bill was? Maybe she really was just that dumb, but I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.


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## jabbur (Jan 18, 2011)

Rocklobster said:


> Has anybody here ever been asked to leave?  Any restaurant I have worked at has never had a policy if people want to stay. Normally, the waitress would close the bill off, if the patrons stop ordering drinks or dessert and not go back to the table again. Eventually, the people get the message.



YES! The band boosters had a quick planning meeting and birthday celebration for the band director.  We made reservations (about 10 of us), ordered appetizers, drinks, entrees.  As we were discussing ordering dessert and coffee, the manager came and asked us to leave that we had been there too long and he needed the table.  It had been about an hour and 15 mins since we were seated.  Needless to say we didn't order dessert, we got our things together and left.  As we were leaving, expecting a crowd of waiting customers, we were surprised to find no one in the lobby waiting and staff standing around with seemingly nothing to do!  We tipped low that day.  This was 6 years ago and I have never set foot in that restaurant again.  When people suggest it I tell them I had really bad service there and will not give them my business.


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## joesfolk (Jan 18, 2011)

I was once asked to leave a restaurant in the middle of the day when I was the only customer in the place.  I was quietly enjoying my meal and reading a book.  I have never figured this one out and I have never been back there.  This was many years ago and the restaurant has gone out of business.  Gee....I wonder why?!


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## Skittle68 (Jan 18, 2011)

jabbur said:
			
		

> YES! The band boosters had a quick planning meeting and birthday celebration for the band director.  We made reservations (about 10 of us), ordered appetizers, drinks, entrees.  As we were discussing ordering dessert and coffee, the manager came and asked us to leave that we had been there too long and he needed the table.  It had been about an hour and 15 mins since we were seated.  Needless to say we didn't order dessert, we got our things together and left.  As we were leaving, expecting a crowd of waiting customers, we were surprised to find no one in the lobby waiting and staff standing around with seemingly nothing to do!  We tipped low that day.  This was 6 years ago and I have never set foot in that restaurant again.  When people suggest it I tell them I had really bad service there and will not give them my business.



Ugh. That's awful. Very bad business. Why would want to get customers out the door?? I was at a restaurant once with a group of 18, and we were all drinking bar drinks. The waitress brought us all our checks when we were done with our meals, so we had to start getting up and going to the bar. She missed out on quite a bit of revenue because of that. When she realized we were still drinking she said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I could have gotten those for you!" but when we needed them she was nowhere to be found.


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## Skittle68 (Jan 18, 2011)

At work tonight I caught myself "lurking" after I brought one of my tables their check lol. It wasn't because I wanted them to hurry though, it was because I didn't want them to have to wait if they needed me to run a card or get them change. How am I supposed to know when they need something if I'm not around?? I don't want them to think they've worn out their welcome!!


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## Bolas De Fraile (Jan 19, 2011)

My beautiful wife was a Maitre De on Celebrity Cruise Ships, she had over a 100 waitstaff  under her control, one of a number of good stories is when the ship caught on fire and the order was given to abandon ship, quite a few pax wanted to finish their meals, she got the dinning room evacuated and then joined her fire fighting team (she was certified a firefighter by the Miami Coastguard) the ship was able to get into port in the Bahamas.


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