# My list of 10 guilty kitchen secrets that mean I will never be a chef!



## alisontomsmum (Jan 31, 2008)

A couple of months ago i got hooked on a program called "Rosemary shreigersa school for cooks", a bit like the aprentice but for cooking!! I found it compelling viewing, but everytime i cooked i found myself saying "that would never be aceptable presentation in a real kitchen! or that seasoning is just not subtle enough!!!!! DH has now banned me from watching anyting of the sort cos he said it made me grumpy in the kitchen! 

I love cooking for freinds and family, love making my own cakes, jams and breads, but no mater how hard i try i cant make myself a foody! Anything too fancy or faffy i just cant be bothered!

So here it is, my list of 10 guilty kitchen secrets that mean i will never earn a michlin star!

I love cooking but would hate to be a chef!

I use jared garlic, its just too much hastle to chop as i have a rubish garlic crusher! Ditto jared chillis

My current set of knives are blunt and cost £1.50 from wilcos

The new knives i bought i got cos i liked the knife block! 

I dont know how to sharpen a knife properly!

When i cut up my veg its not even! (RS would have my head for that!)

I sometimes forget to change my oven back from grill setting and have a habit of acidently grilling cakes!

I dont sift my flour!

I use a bread machine to kneed my dough (although i do cook it in the oven )

I cook with cheep wine.....

......my list could go on!

Well now you know, now ive eased my mind and "fessed" up. Im off to banish evil cooking shows from my mind and go back to just ENJOYING cooking again... no michlin stars for me.... so what!....... well at least until the next series starts...!


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## YT2095 (Jan 31, 2008)

alisontomsmum said:


> When i cut up my veg its not even! (RS would have my head for that!)
> 
> 
> I dont sift my flour!
> ...



well I`m "Guilty" of those also, except I cook with cheap beer and just neck the wine 
I deliberately don`t cut my veg even, I like the chinese way of chopping them, I split a carrot, and make a diagonal cut, flip the carrot and do the same the Other direction, I think it looks nicer, If I wanted perfectly even I`ll build a Robot! 

as for Flour sifting LOL, life`s too short!


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## middie (Jan 31, 2008)

You mean... we're supposed to sharpen knives ???
Whoops


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## bethzaring (Jan 31, 2008)

you're my kind of woman/cook


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## csalt (Jan 31, 2008)

bethzaring said:


> you're my kind of woman/cook


 

Yes, mine too. Don't forget it's meant to be fun and enjoyable. Otherwise what's the point?


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## alisontomsmum (Jan 31, 2008)

Yup I'll go for fun.... anyway michelin star chefs dont have 2 yerar olds hanging onto there legs, demanding to use the "foo pro-ces-es-er" or 5 months old grizzling at them!!!! (thats my excuse and im sticking to it!)


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## JillBurgh (Jan 31, 2008)

Okay I'll admit I'm a kitchen snob. The MIL has the WORST kitchen habits and it just kills me to see her cook. I otherwise love the ol' bag, but she needs to step out of the kitchen already! 

She cuts her veggies over the pot with one hand and a dull knife. When she does use a cutting board, she uses those glass death-boards you can buy at the grocery store if you really don't want any fingers or to ever have another sharp knife. She believes all sauces and foods should be thin/runny (including chili and mashed potatoes). She actually chastised another DIL for making the mashed potatoes too thick once (they were perfect IMO). She cross contaminates like she wants us all six feet under. Cooked ribs go back on the platter she transported them to the grill with! And she always frosts her cakes while they're still hot and then complains that the recipe for the frosting must have been bad.

Me, on the other hand? I have no bad habits. Ha! Just kidding. I'm a real slob.


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## jabbur (Jan 31, 2008)

Thanks to the food network, a lot more people are exposed to haute cuisine. The problem is these chefs and hosts all rave about the smell and the taste but the average person at home watching has no idea about how it really smells/tastes. I watch these chefs meticulously plating their dishes and putting these little flourishes and think "Why bother?" It's almost like they think "if it looks good it will taste good". 
That's why I serve everyday dinners from the pots they are cooked in. It also saves me washing serving dishes!


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## Maverick2272 (Jan 31, 2008)

That is, until they invent Smell-O-Vision!

Me, I try not to worry too much about whether or not I would ever win any contests with my cooking, I wouldn't. I think I would loose on 'plating' alone. Just not a fancy guy. 

My kitchen is wreck, remodeled about as cheaply and poorly as could be in the 70's, and they even blocked up the vent to the outside! I have since fixed that, with an over the stove micro with interchangeable vents to go either outside or back into the kitchen and filters. Of course, it stopped working now as well...

And all my pots, pans, knives, and utensils? I got most of em about 6 years ago when my wife worked at World Kitchen. They gave her all the 'sample' stuff they had from Revereware, Chicago Cutlery, and god only knows who made the rest.

But, it does the trick, and as long as the family keeps giving me thumbs up, I will keep cooking!


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## kitchenelf (Jan 31, 2008)

I guess I'm a foodie.  I want my food tasting good, looking good, and presented nicely.  But then again, I've cooked professionally.  Not for very long but long enough for me to certainly know that it wasn't a passing passion.  I love using my knife to mince garlic, evenly cut veggies if necessary (it's not always though), I have a lot of knives but only a few really good ones.  The rest are just more challenging to keep sharpened.

When I don't roast my own red peppers for "whatever" I feel extremely guilty.  If I make a rueben I even make my own thousand island dressing   Am I a foodie or a food snob?  I don't know.  I just find so much pleasure and satisfaction in preparing my own food.  People buy these boxes of pasta side dishes and if they only knew how easy it was to make from scratch and how much healthier it was they would be so surprised.

OK - I got off the path - sorry


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## ella/TO (Jan 31, 2008)

I have to agree with  you Kitchenelf. I haven't cooked professionally, but have eaten/dined out enough to appreciate both taste and sight of what is being served to me! I mostly serve French style when I have 1 or 2 other couples to dinner....I find it sooo classy.....LOL....but hey, after almost 81 years....(next week), I guess I can try to be classy.....hahahahaha!


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## Rob Babcock (Jan 31, 2008)

I've cooked professionally most of my life.  That makes me pretty hard to please when I eat out at restaurants, but perhaps paradoxically I'm always happy to eat something home cooked.  By anyone.  Well, anyone except myself!  I eat my own cooking plenty.  And professional cooking often results in food that's very "cliched" or conventional.

Home cooks on the other hand come up with stuff you're not gonna get served in a restaurant.  Like hot dog pizza.  Or ketchup sandwiches.  The novelty of home cooking has extra charm and appeal to someone immersed in the conventions of cooking professionally.


But I absolutely can't stand dull knives!


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## jabbur (Jan 31, 2008)

Elf, I don't think that makes you a food snob. If you refuse to eat something someone else made with lesser ingredients or point out to them how much better dish x would be if they just did y and add z or boast about how much better your own cooking is, THEN a food snob you shall be.  If you do it because you LIKE to and enjoy it but not to IMPRESS everyone that makes you a foodie not a snob IMHO.


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## ChefJune (Jan 31, 2008)

Laugh about your dull knives, if you want, but stats show that you are far more likely to be seriously hurt if you cut yourself with a dull knife than a sharp one. It has to do with pushing into the knife too hard in order to cut with the dull edge.

It's not about being snobby, it's about efficiency. Learning basic knife skills is kinda like learning to drive a car. You wouldn't get behind the wheel without having learned properly, would you? 

and believe it or not, Chinese cooks cut their vegetables very evenly. Don't know where whomever mentioned that one got another idea! The use of a cleaver rather than a conventional knife doesn't mean the cuts are haphazard.


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## Flourgirl (Jan 31, 2008)

JillBurgh said:


> Okay I'll admit I'm a kitchen snob. The MIL has the WORST kitchen habits and it just kills me to see her cook. I otherwise love the ol' bag, but she needs to step out of the kitchen already!
> 
> She cuts her veggies over the pot with one hand and a dull knife. When she does use a cutting board, she uses those glass death-boards you can buy at the grocery store if you really don't want any fingers or to ever have another sharp knife. She believes all sauces and foods should be thin/runny (including chili and mashed potatoes). She actually chastised another DIL for making the mashed potatoes too thick once (they were perfect IMO). She cross contaminates like she wants us all six feet under. Cooked ribs go back on the platter she transported them to the grill with! And she always frosts her cakes while they're still hot and then complains that the recipe for the frosting must have been bad.
> 
> Me, on the other hand? I have no bad habits. Ha! Just kidding. I'm a real slob.


 
Too funny!

My knives are dull and I use boullion cubes.


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## ChefJune (Jan 31, 2008)

Flourgirl said:


> Too funny!
> 
> My knives are dull and I use boullion cubes.


 
What's wrong with bouillon cubes? you'd be surprised how many chefs use them! (kinda like box wines...)


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## Flourgirl (Jan 31, 2008)

Good to know.


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## suziquzie (Jan 31, 2008)

Here's why Suzi will never be able to cook professionally. 

I cry when someone isn't in love with dinner (ie, DH says pass the salt, I'm upset)

I CANNOT keep food off my shirt, even if I'm not eating! 
 Otherwise I'd love to try... but those are pretty big ones!


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## JillBurgh (Jan 31, 2008)

ChefJune said:


> What's wrong with bouillon cubes? you'd be surprised how many chefs use them! (kinda like box wines...)


Ah, wine-in-a-box and bouillon cubes. Not so bad. I think I have to confess my horrible guilty pleasure now...

Imitation Crabmeat. I know, I know, but I don't use it in place of real crabmeat. I just like to eat it as a snack for myself. I hide it in the bottom of the crisper drawer under the produce so no one sees it...


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## Wart (Jan 31, 2008)

All FOODIES are welcome. They are of the mind that good food is great food, it's all going the same place anyhow.

Food SNOBS, OTOH, sit at the children's table. No matter how fine something is created they have always had better, and they talk about the perfect this or that. Come to think, do I want to expose children to this behavior?


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## Barbara L (Jan 31, 2008)

I think how one defines "foodie" is important also.  According to the dictionary I just checked, it is someone who enjoys good food, someone who takes an enthusiastic interest in eating or cooking good food.  

To me that means that it doesn't matter if I cut everything perfectly, if it looks like it is ready for a magazine layout, etc., but that I had fun preparing it and that it tastes good and doesn't kill either of us.  lol 

So I guess the definition of "foodie" isn't what is really important, but rather the definitions of "enjoy" and "good food."  We each enjoy different levels of cooking and eating.  

Barbara


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## Maverick2272 (Jan 31, 2008)

Barbara L said:


> I think how one defines "foodie" is important also.  According to the dictionary I just checked, it is someone who enjoys good food, someone who takes an enthusiastic interest in eating or cooking good food.
> 
> To me that means that it doesn't matter if I cut everything perfectly, if it looks like it is ready for a magazine layout, etc., but that I had fun preparing it and that it tastes good and doesn't kill either of us.  lol
> 
> ...



I couldn't agree more!


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## kadesma (Jan 31, 2008)

My DH is always telling people what a great cook I am..I am always telling others about everyone here at DC..I'd never be a chef, my knife skills would send a real chef into spasms!  While I try to always use fresh, for the life of me I'm awful with making a good brown sauce and in a hurry will use Knorr  to make it..Speaking of knives you could ride to the next town and back on mine..Sharpen them sure. I keep yelling about taking them to be sharpened but it always  slips my mind, til I see DH cutting with a brand new knife on the counter top not the board...I make pretty darn good bread, but when it comes to making a cake or pie, well that is a huge challenge for me, I HATE to follow a recipe..Food snob, heck no, a food snob, would laugh me out of town, but,me, I'd have a meal with anyone one here, serve me something from a box, that's just fine, you took the time to do it, that's all that counts to me..
kadesma


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## Maverick2272 (Jan 31, 2008)

I think people get a little too obsessed with the way the food looks, sometimes this whole plating thing really annoys me. I am far more concerned with how the food tastes, not that I don't want to present it in an appetizing way, I just don't feel the need to make something you want to hang on the wall. I much rather make something you want to come back for more of instead.
But don't get me wrong, I know there are people out there that are blessed with this kind of talent, and if it makes them happy, then more power to them!
Same goes for pots, pans, and utensils. I am more interested in something that works well and lasts a long time then something that looks 'neat' or 'trendy'. Of course, if you can have both, then by all means go for it!
Moderation is key in cooking I think (Emeril forgive me LOL), for me a balanced approach works out best. I just want to cook really good food on a consistent basis.
The smiles are my reward.


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## kitchenelf (Jan 31, 2008)

ChefJune said:


> (kinda like box wines...)



Hey!!


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## Maverick2272 (Feb 1, 2008)

ChefJune said:


> Learning basic knife skills is kinda like learning to drive a car. You wouldn't get behind the wheel without having learned properly, would you?



Yea I did, and you are right it was a way bad idea


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## Chopstix (Feb 1, 2008)

We eat first with our eyes.  

At the very least, an attractive spread may enhance taste perception while the opposite will probably diminish it.  Since it's important to me that other people enjoy the food I prepared, I care about how my food looks.  But this is just me.

The food doesn't have to be precariously architectural nor each pea carefully arranged like by a food stylist.  In fact I don't do that as it feels pretentious and I'm no professional chef.  I actually prefer rustic-style food that looks casually thrown together, with nice color accents or garnish to make the dish look appetizing.


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## Barbara L (Feb 1, 2008)

I like my food to look nice, as well as taste good, but it is just the two of us, and I'm not going to spend a lot of time decorating the plate with food.  I do try to balance flavors, textures, and colors.  My personal order of food preferences is taste, texture, and finally how it looks.  I believe how the food looks can affect how we like a food (at least to a certain point).  I remember once when I was about 12, my mom decided to do something different, just for fun.  She colored the salt green.  Everyone, including her, decided that the food (especially mashed potatoes) looked a little too freaky with green salt and she never did it again!  (It was a fun experience though!).

Barbara


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## Maverick2272 (Feb 1, 2008)

Chopstix said:


> We eat first with our eyes.



I agree with most of what you said, I like my food to look nice as well. But I think we eat with our nose first. Well that sounds gross, so say sense of smell.
When I cook (assuming I am not busy messing something up) I first get "that smells delicious", then "that looks delicious", and finally "that tastes delicious"
I don't worry about making things look pretty or fabulous, just look delicious and mouth watering. 
We are pretty salt of the earth as are our friends, so for us and our friends looking appetizing is more important than looking artistic.
But if I go to a 5 start restaurant, I do expect that. For me it is part of the whole 'experience', its not just about eating gourmet food but about the experience as a whole. 
For the kids sometimes I will make the food look fun just for them, and if it is just me and the wife I will go for something artistic to help create the 'experience' i want. But I only get to practice that about twice a year, and am not that great at it. For now I am content to just work on making the food even better, healthier, and more diverse.
Bottom line is around here with three kids you are lucky if you get a set table let alone anything artistic.
Just my take on things


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## Barbara L (Feb 1, 2008)

Maverick2272 said:


> ...I think we eat with our nose first. Well that sounds gross, so say sense of smell.


You're right, the sense of smell is definitely important.  When I have a bad cold and my nose is stuffed up, my food doesn't taste right.  Years ago my dad was really sick and lost his sense of smell almost completely for several weeks.  He told his doctor that chocolate tasted like dirt, and the doctor laughed at him.  Not sure which box of Cracker Jack he got his diploma from, but he told my dad that losing your sense of smell wouldn't have any effect on how foods taste.  

Interesting side note--I read, years ago, that scent/smell memory is the strongest.  It makes sense.  I know that certain smells bring back very strong memories from my past.  The weakest sense of memory that we have is color.  For instance, we think we can go to a store and buy a red belt to match a pair of red shoes that we have at home, only to find out they are several shades off.

Barbara


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## Chopstix (Feb 1, 2008)

Thanks Mav. But without quibbling over which sense (sight or smell) takes precedence, I think most of the time we see the food first, before we get close enough to actually smell it.


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## Maverick2272 (Feb 2, 2008)

*Viewer Advisory: Graphic nose hair warning*

OK, what the heck if you can't laugh at yourself:


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## Maverick2272 (Feb 2, 2008)

Quick note: Ever walked by a restaurant and smelled the delicious food? Or walked into your home as the spouse/significant other was cooking supper? Great smells, but haven't actually seen the food yet... I guess it just depends on the circumstances, in our case it is smelled throughout the house long before it is ever seen presented on the table to be seen.


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## Barbara L (Feb 2, 2008)

Maverick2272 said:


> OK, what the heck if you can't laugh at yourself:


Hey, I'll laugh along with you!    Thanks for the visual!

Barbara


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## DrThunder88 (Feb 2, 2008)

I rarely keep common ingredients (especially those with short shelf lives) on hand.
If a dish doesn't have an allium in it, I probably didn't make it.
I can recite a half dozen dessert recipes off the top of my head but not a single entree.
I've got pans with all sorts of high-tech coatings and made from space age materials, but 90% of my cooking is done in cast iron.
I make rash, "lowbrow" substitutions (usually by necessity).  Chalk this one up as "poor planning" in most cases.
I work from midnight to eight AM, so I'm only ever cooking for one.
I usually wear soccer sandals in the kitchen.
I have patience enough to whisk a curd or sauce to completion but have a tendency to push faster procedures too fast.

But you know what they say, "If you can't wok the wok, don't toque the toque."


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## che'mark (Feb 2, 2008)

Uh oh, food snob here, my knives are razor sharp, I keep a good steel in the drawer and a few strokes every few days keeps them sharp.  My Vegetables are cut like a machine did it and food plated carefully as though each course is a work of art. I cook with the same wine I drink. When I serve guests I try to always have five courses and a properly set table, I use linen napkins. I have three sets of dishes so the color of the food doesn't clash with the color of the china. I don't have a television and have never watched a 'cooking show' so at least that hasn't influenced me to be more ridiculous than I already am about food. Presentation isn't everything but it's important.


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## buckytom (Feb 2, 2008)

tossing in my 2 cents:  not all dishes require symmetrically cut veggies, nor do they require oddly angled cuts. lots of different dishes, lots of different techniques.
the reason for making thing evenly sized is so that they finish cooking at the same time. but as far as shape goes, well that's up to the dish at hand.

you wouldn't want to put big, chunky, angular veggies inside a fish to roast, because the fish will be dry by the time the veggies are done. conversely, if you put thinly sliced veggies into a stew, they'll disintegrate into it. 
the latter isn't as bad as the former, but you get my point.

as far as snobbery goes: i am a "food snob" when i go out to eat, and i prefer family/home style at home. that is, i like to eat fancy stuff presented well in a restaurant, but a "serve yourself from the pots on the stove" at home kinda meal suits me just as well.


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## QSis (Feb 2, 2008)

che'mark said:


> I have three sets of dishes so the color of the food doesn't clash with the color of the china.


 
Wow.

Lee


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## Wart (Feb 3, 2008)

We eat first with our eyes?

Yes, we do.

When I wrote how 'it's all going the same place anyway' I didn't mean I didn't / don't care if the food I prepare looks like or is presented as barf.

I think food cooked well presents itself. And it's not like I slop food on the plate.

For me it's form following function. My cupboard has Pyrex, Coral, some Jadite, other stuff. China is kept in the hutch.




che'mark said:


> I don't have a television and have never watched a 'cooking show' so at least that hasn't influenced me to be more ridiculous than I already am about food.



No TV? Lucky you, (story left out).


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## Dave Hutchins (Feb 3, 2008)

I cooked professionally for 45 years and I am now widowed and If I can get it on my plate good enough.  I do not dislike fancy food ""Gourmet"" etc.but simple foods please me more now.


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## expatgirl (Feb 3, 2008)

Friends came in tonight and remarked on the great smell (stroganoff and biscuits)---served the rice from ziploc bag because that's how I keep rice hot and yet fluffy and stroganoff from the pot which they served themselves from--yeah, I could have served the rice covered with the stroganoff on a beautiful platter on the table and then it would have been cold within 10 minutes--we had a great time


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## Barbara L (Feb 3, 2008)

expatgirl said:


> ...yeah, I could have served the rice covered with the stroganoff on a beautiful platter on the table and then it would have been cold within 10 minutes--we had a great time


I'm eating at your house!  I hate cold food!  (Unless it is supposed to be cold!)

Barbara


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