# Your horoscope for today



## wasabi (Sep 14, 2005)

Aries
mar 21-apr 19

  Uh oh. Mars is out of alignment, again. Not a good day to hang out with stupid, violent, heavily-armed ex-convicts. Save that for tomorrow.

Taurus
apr 20-may 20

  Don't go out today, without a spatula. I can't say more.

Gemini
may 21-june 21

  Terrific day to saunter. Don't let it turn into a mosey, though

Cancer
june 22-july 22

  What goes around will come around, today. Metaphorically speaking, that is.


Leo
july 23-aug 22

  Musical inspiration will strike you today, and you'll invent some sort of new instrument that looks like a Hoover vacuum bag with a few bits of odd plumbing sticking out of it. The good thing is, the instrument will rivet people's attention to such a degree that you can indulge your tendency towards cross-dressing without anyone noticing!



Virgo
aug 23-sept 22

  You will receive a painful bonk on the head, today, while riding the bus downtown. It's your own fault, though, for sitting in front of that trombone player.

Libra
sept 23-oct23

  Your morning grumpiness and sluggishness will vanish soon, when you discover that the problem was just using the wrong type of deodorant soap. Soon you'll be stepping out of the shower, grinning like an imbecile!


Scorpio
oct 24-nov 21

  Today you will make a bold fashion statement, which will eventually become a trend and sweep the nation. "Executive Grunge", you'll call it.

Sagittarius
nov 22-dec 21

  Another one of those excrutiatingly boring meetings today. Try to liven things up by summoning one of the people back from the dead.


Capricorn
dec 22-jan 19

  Good time to institute "show and tell" at the office. Why should kids have all the fun? You could break the ice by bringing in your stamp collection, no?


Aquarius
jan 20-feb 18

  Good day to snitch cookies when nobody's looking.

Pisces
feb 19-mar 20

  Excellent day to make odd hand gestures at people you don't know.


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## mrsmac (Sep 14, 2005)

Fantastic I'm getting my show and tell ready now!! My office is actually a classsroom full of children so it will be even more realistic!


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