# How to impress women



## LT72884 (Sep 29, 2008)

Question for the ladies here at DC or any lady, or any one who wants to inlightin me.

If a guy plays the guitar for you, does that make him more attractive or impress you at all. Hmm, maybe impress is not the word im looking for. Im just curious. Im trying to find the RIGHT things to say to a girl rather than the wrong things. Im also trying to find what impresses them. There has to be a universal principle for women. 

Thanx all


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## pdswife (Sep 29, 2008)

All of the above and add in.... looking me in the eyes when I'm talking.


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## GB (Sep 29, 2008)

I am not a woman so take what I am saying for what it is worth, but what I have found is the best way to impress a woman is to be true to yourself. If you like to play guitar then play guitar. If you like children then play with the kids. If you hate to cook then don't do it just to impress her.

I know it sounds like a tired old cliche, but just be yourself and don't _try_ to impress her. She will be impressed with who you are if you two click.


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## LT72884 (Sep 29, 2008)

pdswife said:


> All of the above and add in.... looking me in the eyes when I'm talking.


So you think if a guy plays a song for you, that would be impressive. Sweet action.


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## LibraryLady (Sep 29, 2008)

I'm not that musical and it's no big deal to me, so I voted for the other three.  Could be too I dated some musicians when I was young and wasn't impressed!  

ETA - Gotta agree with GB, be true to yourself or it won't work at all!

LL


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## LT72884 (Sep 29, 2008)

GB said:


> I am not a woman so take what I am saying for what it is worth, but what I have found is the best way to impress a woman is to be true to yourself. If you like to play guitar then play guitar. If you like children then play with the kids. If you hate to cook then don't do it just to impress her.
> 
> I know it sounds like a tired old cliche, but just be yourself and don't _try_ to impress her. She will be impressed with who you are if you two click.



Cool Cool. Yeah i tried the whole TRY to impress but that got me no where. But when you first meet a new girl/guy, for some reason i do not act my self 100% more like 80%. That bugs me because i feel like im trying to be something im not. Hard to explain what i mean.


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## JoeV (Sep 29, 2008)

LT72884 said:


> Im trying to find the RIGHT things to say to a girl rather than the wrong things. Im also trying to find what impresses them. There has to be a universal principle for women.
> 
> Thanx all



After 36 years of marriage I can unequivocally say"

1. No matter how right I am, I am always wrong (and so will you be if you get to the point of saying 'I do'). It just works that way.

2. The universal principle for women is that there are no universal principles.

3. One "Aw geezz" will wipe out 500 "Atta-boys" and you are back to square one trying to win her over again.


My question for you is, "Why did you even go here?" You obviously must be very young.

Joseph the Wrong (Forever)


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## LT72884 (Sep 29, 2008)

JoeV said:


> After 36 years of marriage I can unequivocally say"
> 
> 1. No matter how right I am, I am always wrong (and so will you be if you get to the point of saying 'I do'). It just works that way.
> 
> ...



I came here for opinions is all. Just to see what others had to say. Very young to you maybe but not very young to me. Im 24. Im young but not very young.

Someone once told mew that women in general do not care about certain things. They continued on about those certain things and it just so happened that i do a majority of those certain things that apparently dont impress women. When i read that i did feel somewhat bad because those things are who i am. So i wanted a second opinion.


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## bowlingshirt (Sep 29, 2008)

My wife *HATES *my guitar playing, but we are married, so go figure.


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## bowlingshirt (Sep 29, 2008)

LT72884 said:


> There has to be a universal principle for women.


 
No, they are all different, and you will never figure any of them out.


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## LT72884 (Sep 29, 2008)

bowlingshirt said:


> My wife *HATES *my guitar playing, but we are married, so go figure.



LOL dang, that bites...


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## NAchef (Sep 29, 2008)

The best way to impress a woman is to NOT TRY!


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## GB (Sep 29, 2008)

LT72884 said:


> Someone once told mew that women in general do not care about certain things.


It is impossible to generalize like this. What one woman like the next will hate. The only way you will know if by doing. That is why it is so important to be yourself. Stick to that and the woman who you are supposed to impress will be impressed with you for all the right reasons.


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## LT72884 (Sep 29, 2008)

bowlingshirt said:


> No, they are all different, and you will never figure any of them out.



Oh man dont say that. I get frustrated easily. When i get mad or frustrated, i go very silent because if i talk when i am mad it is usually something that is not good.


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## texasgirl (Sep 29, 2008)

Honesty, Sincerity, Faithfullness are the top 3.
A man needs to have a good sense of humor, love to have fun, have a good job, not rich, just have a steady job. Like animals and kids.
Anything above that is extra points. Love the person you're with.


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## Andy M. (Sep 29, 2008)

You want a universal principle?  

Woman want you to be honest and sincere.  They want you to be interested in them and what they say - they want you to listen.  They want you to like the things they like (common interests).  

If you can't do that with a particular woman, she's not the one for you/you're not the one for her.

P.S.  Faking any of this doesn't count.


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## LT72884 (Sep 29, 2008)

GB said:


> It is impossible to generalize like this. What one woman like the next will hate. The only way you will know if by doing. That is why it is so important to be yourself. Stick to that and the woman who you are supposed to impress will be impressed with you for all the right reasons.



ok, Thats what i thought about the poll i found Except they had a list of 10 things while i only added 4 of the 10. Dang magazines always tryin to lead me astray.LOL


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## roadfix (Sep 29, 2008)

I have a couple of classical guitars and my playing sux.
What I did was I built a larger deck and got a bigger grill.


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## GB (Sep 29, 2008)

The problem with a poll like this is that you could have 500 people vote and say that guys who cook is the ultimate thing, but the person you are interested in will be her own person and she might just possibly not care one bit that a guy cooks. Each person is an individual so a poll like this really will not tell you anything other than what the people here think about themselves. If you are looking to date on of them then that might help you out a little, but if the person you are interested in is not participating in the poll then it is pretty useless IMO.


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## GhettoRacingKid (Sep 29, 2008)

pdswife said:


> All of the above and add in.... looking me in the eyes when I'm talking.


 
Thats jsut below the shoulders right?  Im good at that.


but when it comes to chics ive learned.  jsut be yourself.  dont change yourself for some girl.  Its not worth it and you willnt be happy.  

jsut be confident in yourself.


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## LT72884 (Sep 29, 2008)

texasgirl said:


> Honesty, Sincerity, Faithfullness are the top 3.
> A man needs to have a good sense of humor, love to have fun, have a good job, not rich, just have a steady job. Like animals and kids.
> Anything above that is extra points. Love the person you're with.



Hmm, you and andy seem to be on the same page. I love to have fun if i can afford it.


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## The Z (Sep 29, 2008)

I have found that (almost universally) women like a guy who is self-assured.  Yes, definitely, be yourself... but don't be a wimp.  You can be sensitive and responsive to a woman's needs without losing yourself in her.  Have interests and don't be all "whatever you wanna do is fine... whatever you wanna have for lunch is fine" etc, etc.  Make and own your decisions.  If you act like you like yourself it will make it easier for others (women and men) to like you, too.


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## pdswife (Sep 29, 2008)

LT72884 said:


> So you think if a guy plays a song for you, that would be impressive. Sweet action.


 

One of the many reasons that I fell in love with hubby is that he's spend hours playing the piano and singing to me.  Yep, music does it.


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## Callisto in NC (Sep 29, 2008)

Musician = poor.  Unless you are Eric Clapton, possessing both his skill and bank account, playing guitar isn't likely to impress.  I like a guy who cooks.  At least with someone who cooks, you know he'll be of help.


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## blissful (Sep 29, 2008)

*Things that impress women the most*
Guy playing with children-interacting with them, sure.
Guys that cook-with me or better than me would be cool.
Guys that play guitar--depends on how good they play, if it is aweful, no thanks.
Guys that like animals--as pets or for dinner?

Men are all different and none of the above matters if they are 'good at heart', kind, thoughtful, caring...


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## LT72884 (Sep 29, 2008)

GB said:


> The problem with a poll like this is that you could have 500 people vote and say that guys who cook is the ultimate thing, but the person you are interested in will be her own person and she might just possibly not care one bit that a guy cooks. Each person is an individual so a poll like this really will not tell you anything other than what the people here think about themselves. If you are looking to date on of them then that might help you out a little, but if the person you are interested in is not participating in the poll then it is pretty useless IMO.



I agree. I was just trying to find things that are universal for each women and i think i found them. There is the top 3 and then the whole Be yourself and not fake.


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## NAchef (Sep 29, 2008)




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## Bigjim68 (Sep 29, 2008)

IMO, the best way to impress a woman is to cook for her.  Invite her over, offer a glass of white wine, a cosmo, or other "womens" drink while you put the finishing touches on dinner.  It doesn't have to be fancy, just done well.  Canned ravioli is out.  Refuse any offer of help, and talk to her all the while, and LISTEN  Most women are so used to doing for others, that they love to be catered to.  Any dissenting opinions, please post.


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## Callisto in NC (Sep 29, 2008)

NAchef said:


>


Yes we are


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## roadfix (Sep 29, 2008)

Switching sides here.  
My sister-in-law's husband once told me that on his second date she invited him over and cooked him dinner.  That dinner impressed him so much so that he knew right then and there that this woman was the one to marry.  They've been married 26 years.


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## TanyaK (Sep 29, 2008)

What impressed me about DH was that he acted the same way whether he was with me, his friends, my parents or his colleagues.


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## Andy M. (Sep 29, 2008)

NAchef said:


>


 


You don't get a lot of dates, do you.


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## NAchef (Sep 29, 2008)

Come to think of, No I dont.  How did you know?


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## BreezyCooking (Sep 29, 2008)

For me, it's definitely "guys that like animals". First & most importantly, I've always lived with a zoo of critters around me, so a guy who doesn't like animals would never make it with me. Secondly, I'm not a child-lover. Thirdly, music is a really personal thing, so being serenaded by guitar would probably make my eyes glaze over. Fourthly, since I LOVE to cook, all I'd need would be a guy who LOVED to eat - lol!!!

So the animal thing would be the only point that would really be important to me - & luckily I found it!!!


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## kitchenelf (Sep 29, 2008)

Callisto in NC said:


> Musician = poor. Unless you are Eric Clapton, possessing both his skill and bank account, playing guitar isn't likely to impress. I like a guy who cooks. At least with someone who cooks, you know he'll be of help.


 
ROFL - I will have to respectfully disagree.  We're not talking about a career in music here, the guy just plays the guitar.  It impresses me because you have taken the time to learn something and are good at it.  And then again, maybe I'm just easily impressed 

LT - there's nothing wrong with playing the guitar.  My BIL sits around in the evening and plays his guitar and it's nice to listen to.  He doesn't expect you to sit right there with him - he plays because he enjoys it.  We can carry on about what we are doing.  He is our background music.  

OK - you could PM me these if you want...what are the things you do that other people say girls hate?


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## ChefJune (Sep 29, 2008)

pdswife said:


> All of the above and add in.... looking me in the eyes when I'm talking.


 
you said a mouthful, pds!  You'd have to be really, _really_ good at guitar to impress me with that.  Not so much with the cooking.  Mine washes the dishes.  Now _THAT_ is impressive, imho!


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## bethzaring (Sep 29, 2008)

well, I'm a dancer, so I would suggest you take dancing lessons!  It is darn hard to find a decent male dancer.  And dance classes usually have more females than male learners.


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## Barbara L (Sep 29, 2008)

Wow, there is a lot of advice here! I agree with a lot of it. Some, not so much.

The most important thing is to be yourself. If cooking, or guitar playing, or whatever is what you like to do, then do it. On the other hand, trying something that you know she likes, even if you are a bumbling idiot when you try, can be appealing to some women, as they see that you are trying to impress them. 

Just seeing a guy play with kids (or animals) wouldn't do it for me unless I saw that it was something that came from his heart (not just as a ploy to trap a woman). 

Having similar interests is always good, but don't worry if you don't like everything she likes and she likes everything you like. You don't necessarily have to have *all* the same interests, but you should have some, and you *do* have to support her in her interests (and she needs to support yours). 

Someone mentioned not letting her help out. That would be true for some women but not true for others (some have a real calling to be helpful). 

In other words, as you were already told, all women are different and all men are different. You sort what you can out before marriage, then you spend the rest of your life together trying to figure each other out. That's actually part of what keeps a marriage young and vibrant! 

And remember Matt, love comes at the most interesting times, and usually when you are not expecting it. Relax, and remember that His timing is perfect.

Barbara


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## luvs (Sep 29, 2008)

iu luv a guy who can handle kiddos. sooooo adorable!!! my buddy is madly in love with jake- she says he's so cute, & she almost swooned when he kept her baby from trying out a flight of stairs. her daughter loves jake cause he brought her a container of cake mix cookies. he's great with tots; his Mom had a baby when he was 23 so he's familiar with babies.


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## luvs (Sep 29, 2008)

ChefJune said:


> Mine washes the dishes. Now _THAT_ is impressive, imho!


 

mine, too!!! he cleans & we cook together, too. he's a catch!!!


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## GhettoRacingKid (Sep 29, 2008)

ok props to me

(((PAT))) (((PAT))) (((PAT))) on my back.

Ultimate husband right here.

Cooks, cleans, vacuums, paints, does the car things, fixes things, does the romantic things, takes care of my lady, shopping etc.... and I do windows.

The wife knows it and that couldnt make me happier.

(I just always believed in being self efficient and self dependant.  If you want it done right do it yourself)


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## Fisher's Mom (Sep 29, 2008)

I can only say what impresses me, LT, but it's the little things that speak to your character. I notice when a man shows kindness and consideration for others. I notice simple courtesy. I notice how a man treats his parents. I notice when a man listens to me and to others when speaking. I notice when a man tries to take interest in things or activities his woman is interested in.

Here are some examples: Treating waitstaff with courtesy at a restaurant. Going to a musical concert he's not particularly interested in. Treating children and the elderly with respect. Visiting and calling his parents on a regular basis. Being kinder than necessary to all he meets, especially those having a rough time. Those things tell me about the man he is and will likely be the rest of his days.

Of course, if he can curl my toes with a kiss - that's icing on the cake!!!!


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## LT72884 (Sep 29, 2008)

bethzaring said:


> well, I'm a dancer, so I would suggest you take dancing lessons!  It is darn hard to find a decent male dancer.  And dance classes usually have more females than male learners.



yeah my friend is a ball room instructor with his wife at BYU Utah and i asked him if he would teach me a dance or two. he said no problem. Dancing is not my favorite thing to do BUT i am willing to learn so that on my future weddin night, i dont look like a fool. But i have to be dating a girl first and i dont even have one picked out. LOL


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## texasgirl (Sep 29, 2008)

NAchef said:


>


 
LOL, the sticker on my rear window of my pt doesn't say Super evil, but, it's close!!


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## VeraBlue (Sep 29, 2008)

It's hard for me to answer the questions in poll....all of them could be impressive but also, all of them could be staged ploys with no depth of character, either.

What impresses me?  Sincerity, courage, equality, humor, openmindedness, humility, thoughtfulness.  If you are going about trying to impress someone, you're on the wrong path.  Impress yourself and others will naturally follow.


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## JoeV (Sep 29, 2008)

I knew this thread was going to turn into this. Everyone is different and everyone is motivated by some, none or all of the poll questions. Have you thought of just becoming a Trappist Monk and not have to deal with all the emotional, touchy-feely stuff. Boyz and girls are different...end of conversation.

Time for a Bourbon and branch water (before I stick foot deeper into mouth).


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## jkath (Sep 29, 2008)

My boy is dying to use the computer, so I wasn't able to read all the chat, but here's my take:
Don't try to impress. Just be you. 
Remember, you're the only YOU there is. 
Can you imagine trying to be someone you're not, and the perfect girl sees that and thinks you're not "the one"? 

That would be a bummer for sure.

dh tried to impress me on our first date. 
He showed me his brand new mustang. I didn't care - I'd had a mustang in high school and to me, it was just a car.
He had a Raiders sticker on it. I didn't care because I knew nothing about football (at the time)
What impressed me was when he started talking about his work. He was passionate about it. It was a career, not a job, but it was what he loved to do. His eyes lit up when he talked about it.

Bottom line: speak about what you are passionate about. If she couldn't care less, she's not your girl.

oh, and one more thing: fwiw, my cousin married the guy she met on eharmony.com
She said it's the best thing that's ever happened to her.


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## QSis (Sep 29, 2008)

What gets my attention is a quick wit that makes me laugh. Hard to find. 

I look for the deeper stuff later.

Lee


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## quicksilver (Sep 29, 2008)

None of these things matter. But all of these things matter.
Treat a lady like a lady and don't try to put us into a slot.
Hope that helps!


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## DietitianInTraining (Sep 29, 2008)

I've never understood why you guys seem to have such a difficult time trying to "woo" us.. It's been said many times, but i'll say it anyways.. Just be yourself! What works for one girl, probably won't work for the next... be true to yourself, be faithful, and honest, and you won't have any troubles..


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## B'sgirl (Sep 29, 2008)

How about a guy just being himself instead of putting on a show to impress?


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## babetoo (Sep 29, 2008)

at my age i would be attracted to a man that is still breathing.

babe


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## roadfix (Sep 29, 2008)

babetoo said:


> at my age i would be attracted to a man that is still breathing.
> 
> babe



Excellent reply!  I like that.


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## qmax (Sep 29, 2008)

I am sort of amazed to see playing guitar on the list.  Having played for many years, that one is a bit lost on me.  Most of the musicians I have known have had, shall we say, "issues".  

Anyway, being considerate would be my first thought at what would impress.  By considerate, I don't mean polite, but rather just consider a partner's view in everything.


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## Bilby (Sep 30, 2008)

NAchef said:


>


 Very good!!


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## Bilby (Sep 30, 2008)

babetoo said:


> at my age i would be attracted to a man that is still breathing.
> 
> babe


A pulse is good babe!!!


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## Bilby (Sep 30, 2008)

Skills can impress a person but anyone who hangs a relationship on them is going to find the road rather bumpy.

You need a click of personalities, not to mention a hint of chemistry.  When I think about a potential partner, I wonder how we would survive together should some serious health matter or injury or the like affect one of us. Without a physical aspect perhaps to complete the mental or vice versa.

I know that with my ex, we had a lot of things in common both in personalities as well as in likes/dislikes, not to mention points of opposition where we had to learn to compromise. We also had a good chemistry and a need to just be in each other's presence.  And now that I have had kidney failure, even with the transplant, I know that I could never ever get back with him cos I know that despite all of the above, he will not be the person I might, and probably will, need in the future.

Learn skills because you want to learn them. Not for anyone else.
Change because you want to or need to.  Not for someone else.
Be happy.  Happy people are attractive to others.
Be good natured for the same reason.

And be as open as you can to all the possibilities out there. Some will work and some won't, but if you aren't open to them, then who knows what (or who) you might miss.

Love often comes when you aren't looking for it.


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## Claire (Sep 30, 2008)

That was a difficult selection, but I chose cooking because in the long run, that's what most women admire in my husband.  The children work when a woman's clock is ticking, but being cute around children is no guarantee that you'll be a good father.  guitars and animals?  Guess it depends on the gal.  He doesn't cook as much as he used to, but he can still charm a room full of people when he pulls out the pasta machine and does it from scratch.  And my nephew recentlly called to thank me for some cooking pointers because it revved up his social life.


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## expatgirl (Sep 30, 2008)

LT72884 said:


> Question for the ladies here at DC or any lady, or any one who wants to inlightin me.
> 
> If a guy plays the guitar for you, does that make him more attractive or impress you at all. Hmm, maybe impress is not the word im looking for. Im just curious. Im trying to find the RIGHT things to say to a girl rather than the wrong things. Im also trying to find what impresses them. There has to be a universal principle for women.
> 
> Thanx all



you want to impress me......I've been married for 35 years and my hubby is not handsome or a hunk but what impressed me was the way he interacted with his mom ..........if guys respect the women in their lives they will respect you, too.........the women at my husband's office call him the "godfather" they love him so much........throw out the gd guitar and get back to the basics...........


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## Sparkly77 (Sep 30, 2008)

I chose Play Guitar and Cooking.

I also love a man who is confident in himself and not trying to be something he's not, just to impress me.  It just so happens that I'm a sucker for a man with a guitar (not that my DH plays, but I still LOVE it), and I do like it when guys are a bit olf fashioned and open doors for me and all that.  

Honestly, just be yourself and you'll be fine


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## bethzaring (Sep 30, 2008)

LT72884 said:


> yeah my friend is a ball room instructor with his wife at BYU Utah and i asked him if he would teach me a dance or two. he said no problem. Dancing is not my favorite thing to do BUT i am willing to learn so that on my future weddin night, i dont look like a fool. But i have to be dating a girl first and i dont even have one picked out. LOL


 
You don't have to be dating a girl to take dancing lessons.  You can pick up a partner at the dance class...and I have seen many a poor, awkward male dancer at their wedding...better get those feet shuffling..


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## LT72884 (Sep 30, 2008)

bethzaring said:


> You don't have to be dating a girl to take dancing lessons.  You can pick up a partner at the dance class...and I have seen many a poor, awkward male dancer at their wedding...better get those feet shuffling..



I mean im not even dating a girl so i shouldnt be planning any wedding stuff.,


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## LT72884 (Sep 30, 2008)

expatgirl said:


> you want to impress me......I've been married for 35 years and my hubby is not handsome or a hunk but what impressed me was the way he interacted with his mom ..........if guys respect the women in their lives they will respect you, too.........the women at my husband's office call him the "godfather" they love him so much........throw out the gd guitar and get back to the basics...........


LOLOL, Ok will do..


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## LT72884 (Sep 30, 2008)

beginner_chef said:


> I've never understood why you guys seem to have such a difficult time trying to "woo" us.. It's been said many times, but i'll say it anyways.. Just be yourself! What works for one girl, probably won't work for the next... be true to yourself, be faithful, and honest, and you won't have any troubles..



Because isnt wooing what we are supposed to do by nature? LOL or is that not true.


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## expatgirl (Sep 30, 2008)

LT.......let me clue you in.......women want a husband.........stop being the stud.......they don't want that.......remember you are the one who asked what they wanted......that's what they want and a husband who cares about them........


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## bethzaring (Sep 30, 2008)

LT72884 said:


> I mean im not even dating a girl so i shouldnt be planning any wedding stuff.,


 

my point is, if you went to a dance class, you would be outnumbered by the opposite sex, you would have women in your arms,.. they would notice you...   heck, even take your guitar


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## LT72884 (Sep 30, 2008)

bethzaring said:


> my point is, if you went to a dance class, you would be outnumbered by the opposite sex, you would have women in your arms,.. they would notice you...   heck, even take your guitar



I see what you are saying. lol..


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## LT72884 (Sep 30, 2008)

expatgirl said:


> LT.......let me clue you in.......women want a husband.........stop being the stud.......they don't want that.......remember you are the one who asked what they wanted......that's what they want and a husband who cares about them........


I stopped being the stud along time ago when i noticed nothing happened from it..


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## expatgirl (Sep 30, 2008)

really, hahaha........I believe you


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## Chief Longwind Of The North (Sep 30, 2008)

Here's my take on women, for what it's worth.

1.  I've been around for 53 years today, and have had the opportunity to learn much, to make mistakes, and injoy successes, and so have a bit of wisdom to share (though of course, I have just scratched the surface of this particular subject, as have all of us.).

2. Women are far more like men that society would have us believe, and we are far more like women in the same way.

That being said, let me explain.  There are differences to be sure.  We think slightly different.  Women remember dates, times, and events better than we do, especially when a crisis develops.  That's just the way it is.  On the other hand, men tend to think more linearly than do women.  That means we generally have the ability to stick with a problem longer, and therefore solve them more often, which makes us valuable in the work place.  But then again, women are generally better at multi-tasking than are men.  Women are more nuturing as a group.  Women are more empathetic.  A guy who sees a child with a minor cut or abrasion is likely to say to the child something flippant like (It can't hurt that much.  I can't feel it.) in an effort to divert the child's attention away from the pain and replace tha pain with humor.  That usually doesn't work well for a child, though it works great for a man with a minor cut or abrasion.  We tend to ignore pain better than do women.

But women can help comfort the child, diverting the child's thoughts with caring love and tenderness.  Is either better or worse?  Not really.  both attempt to do the smae thing but in different ways.  Also, a man's response is usually better for teens and up, while a woman's response is better for a child, and for those who really need a sympathetic ear.

As for other aspects of women, the part where we are more alike than different, women love to feel good about themselves, just as we men do.  We all need a pat on the back every now and again.  And if you help your woman freind feel better about herself, then you are considered a valuable relationship.  Women love humor, jsut as we do.  But remember, the woman tends to look for less raunchy humor, something that is a little more cerebral, though not in all cases (my wife for instance).  Women love the truth, and most importantly, integrity.  If you are honest, and honest in your dealings, you are way ahead of the game.  As was said in previous posts, be true to yourself.  If you can cook well, then make her a meal.  If she loves music, and you are musically inclined, engage her in a duet, or write her a song.  If you are a motorhead, let her know, and if she's interested in the subject, offer to let her help, or even take the lead on a project.  If she loves arts and crafts, introduce her to tying fishing flies, while you take a serious look at whatever craft she enjoys.  And above all, respect her in every way.

Find out what she's interested in, and if you have similar or same interests.  Build on those interests with her.  In a good relationship, neither partner is the "boss".  Both partners are part of a united team, working to help the other member feel as good as they can.  But it must be understood by both parties that no two people see everything the same way, or have the same tastes in everything.  There are usually multiple resolutions to every challenge, with most of them being valid resolutions.  So just because she doesn't agree with your methodology for fixing a problem, it soesn't mean that you are more right or less right than she is.  Come to value different points of view, and encourage her to do the same.  Then you can always work together to find solutions to problems.

Always, always, always, put her needs before your own.  And she should do the same, that is, put your needs before her own.  That takes selfishness out of the equation and nearly garuntees success.

So, in summary; be honest and sincere; understand that you have inherent differences; that you have similar needs; that you are a team; that you look for common ground; that you try to become selfless; that you work to build each other up, and never, never tear each other down.  Respect her.  And should the chemistry be right, love her impliciltly.

There is something to be said for abstinance before marriage.  That act screams to the world that you respect this woman beyond freindship, beyond the norms of society, but that you respect her enough to wait until you give yourself completely to her through marriage.  Adn marriage is a contract that says to the world that you are devoting yourself to her, and her alone, and that no other thing is as important as is that relationship.

Seeeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


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## LT72884 (Sep 30, 2008)

Goodweed of the North said:


> Here's my take on women, for what it's worth.
> 
> 1.  I've been around for 53 years today, and have had the opportunity to learn much, to make mistakes, and injoy successes, and so have a bit of wisdom to share (though of course, I have just scratched the surface of this particular subject, as have all of us.).
> 
> ...



In my little time with women, i have learned that they dont always want a solution to fix the problem, rather they are venting and want you to listen. Stonewalling is infact one of the worse things a man can do to a women. For me, that comes naturally. When i am mad or frustrated, i tend go to silent and dont want to talk. BUT i am fixing this. 

I have learned that their needs always come first, then yours. I am not perfect and i imagine my future wife will understand this as we are both two imperfect people working together to achieve the same goals.

Even though i am not interested in scrapbooking, i know i would enjoy it more and show interest in it if my wife had it as an interest. There is something about the way a female can create the most amezing looking art out of pictures and words. I do tie flies so i can teach her as well. 

I respect motherhood tremendously because of my own mother and the things she has done for me. I have had to take care of her since i was young because of her illness. So i grew up pretty fast.  When i see a young women around my age taking care of her younger brothers and sisters, i actually really enjoy it. For some reason i am really attracted to girls who are great with children. Maybe its because thats what i am supposed to be attracted to. 

i agree with the abstenace before marriage as well. I was taught that as a child and all threw my teen years. Respecting a women and her body is very important to me. To treat her as a piece of meat and as an object is a selfish gesture to me..

I know that reading books is no where near the real thing, but i have read a couple and they did have some very very helpfull information.


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## LT72884 (Sep 30, 2008)

expatgirl said:


> really, hahaha........I believe you



yeah, i was tired of not being able to be myself around certain girls. Its crazy, every girl that i dated, i remember all their birthdays. I am great with memorizing dates.

Right now im in the stage of finding my true self.


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## LT72884 (Sep 30, 2008)

Thanx goodweed of the north, great info,  will try to remember it all. oh and happy birthday today, if thats what " I have been around 53 years today" means


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## NAchef (Sep 30, 2008)

"Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. You know, like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills."


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## LT72884 (Sep 30, 2008)

nachef said:


> "girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. You know, like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills."



lol gosh!!!


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## expatgirl (Sep 30, 2008)

one of the best and most important skills that comes to mind is making money..........sorry jest kidding


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## expatgirl (Sep 30, 2008)

Goodweed, good take on women.............you definitely have a good take on us strange inhabitants........


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## expatgirl (Sep 30, 2008)

by the way, believe it or not, I'd like to know how to tie a fly........I love fishing..........my maiden name was Fischer........probably heriditary..........


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## suziquzie (Sep 30, 2008)

Just be friends..... really. 
"click" with each other.... 
Dh and I were best of friends before anything else happened... not that neither of us didn't like the other as more than friends.... it took a LONG time for us to decide we were supposed to be together. And knowing each other so well, we weren't wrong. 
Don't impress.... on purpose. Be you. That will impress the right woman no matter what.


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## blissful (Sep 30, 2008)

Nice Goodweed, do you have a single brother?  

I think women in their 20's and 30's want something different than women in their 40's 50's 60's etc. Women that are of childbearing age look to survival, so some kind of job with a future, and attractive, so the children will be attractive (if they plan on children). 
Women after childbearing age don't have to worry about the hereditary part and sometimes they are even self supportive, so they are looking for a good person. 

I do agree though with NAchef, that certain skills are nice for the guy to have, like car fixing (I had a flat tire this morning and had to go to a shop), skills to help take care of a house are always nice, some hobbies the guy likes so he gives her a little private time for herself to pursue her hobbies, and general kindness of the heart. Somedays I even like my boss because of the way he talks so sweetly about his wife and I can see he loves her.


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## expatgirl (Sep 30, 2008)

Callisto in NC said:


> Yes we are


 I just looked closely at what you posted.........do you really beiieve that women are evil?????  I don't think that you do.......you're too nice..........


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## kmcgra (Sep 30, 2008)

My wife likes my cooking, and her lady friends are always impressed when they hear that I do a lot of the cooking in our house. So, I would say that cooking is best!


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## jpmcgrew (Sep 30, 2008)

This is not a one way street it gos both ways if she is interested in you she also will do nice things for you as well. Also do not jump in to quickly to get married as everyone is on their best behavior when dating. Definitely pay close attention to any red flags that may come up. Never ever appear as desperate and take your time if she is into you she will wait cuz your worth it, meeting her family will tell alot.


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## Barbara L (Oct 1, 2008)

LT72884 said:


> In my little time with women, i have learned that they dont always want a solution to fix the problem, rather they are venting and want you to listen. Stonewalling is infact one of the worse things a man can do to a women. For me, that comes naturally. When i am mad or frustrated, i tend go to silent and dont want to talk. BUT i am fixing this.
> 
> I have learned that their needs always come first, then yours. I am not perfect and i imagine my future wife will understand this as we are both two imperfect people working together to achieve the same goals.
> 
> ...


I love you!  Will you marry me?  Oh wait... I forgot, I'm more than old enough to be your mom, and I'm already married!  Oh well!  Can I be your South Carolina mom?  

Seriously Matt, the woman who marries you will be fortunate indeed!

Barbara


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## expatgirl (Oct 1, 2008)

well, if you're Matt's mother......I'm his granny


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## Barbara L (Oct 1, 2008)

LOL You're only 5 (or fewer--depending on when your birthday is) years older than me, goof! 

Barbara


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## expatgirl (Oct 1, 2008)

hahaha!!!


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## LT72884 (Oct 1, 2008)

Barbara L said:


> I love you!  Will you marry me?  Oh wait... I forgot, I'm more than old enough to be your mom, and I'm already married!  Oh well!  Can I be your South Carolina mom?
> 
> Seriously Matt, the woman who marries you will be fortunate indeed!
> 
> Barbara



Thanx,

You can be my mom and expat can be me grandma.


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## Callisto in NC (Oct 1, 2008)

expatgirl said:


> I just looked closely at what you posted.........do you really beiieve that women are evil?????  I don't think that you do.......you're too nice..........


Oh, I fully believe we are evil.  Vengence hath no fury like a woman scorned.  We have to be a bit evil to earn such a truthful phrase.


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## expatgirl (Oct 1, 2008)

yeah, a woman scorned.......I will go after any guy who does that to me..........  I love the story about the woman who sued her husband's mistress for a million for loss of affection.........and alienation  and WON!!!  Go girl...........


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## JillBurgh (Oct 1, 2008)

From what I've seen...

If she's younger than 23, find out what kind of guy her dad wants her to be with and do the exact opposite...

If she's older than 23, find out what kind of guy her dad IS and emulate him the best you can...


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## LT72884 (Oct 1, 2008)

JillBurgh said:


> From what I've seen...
> 
> If she's younger than 23, find out what kind of guy her dad wants her to be with and do the exact opposite...
> 
> If she's older than 23, find out what kind of guy her dad IS and emulate him the best you can...


Dang, thats some good advice. LOL never thought of it like that before


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## Callisto in NC (Oct 1, 2008)

JillBurgh said:


> From what I've seen...
> 
> If she's younger than 23, find out what kind of guy her dad wants her to be with and do the exact opposite...
> 
> If she's older than 23, find out what kind of guy her dad IS and emulate him the best you can...


I don't know, I would find out how she feels about her dad first.  If someone emulated my father I'd drive him to the lake and drop him in with cement shoes attached rescuing him just after he came to his senses and just before he drowned.


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## expatgirl (Oct 1, 2008)

Believe me you didn't mess around with my dad........he was a sharpshooter in the First Calvary Diviision..........he was a really nice guy.......but I knew where to push the limits.....and boyfriends weren't the place.........god, he was drop dead gorgeous........


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## Jeekinz (Oct 1, 2008)

LT, come hang out in the Man Thread.  You'll definately pick up some good tips.  rotf


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## suziquzie (Oct 1, 2008)

LOL, I was just gonna say the same. 
Check out the man thread.... I'm certainly impressed!


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## Jeekinz (Oct 1, 2008)

suziquzie said:


> LOL, I was just gonna say the same.
> Check out the man thread.... I'm certainly impressed!


 
_She... likes big saws and she cannot lie. _


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## suziquzie (Oct 1, 2008)

Jeekinz said:


> _She... likes big saws and she cannot lie. _


 

 who ME?

 ok fine.


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## Barbara L (Oct 1, 2008)

Somehow I think we all end up "marrying our dads" in some ways.  James is very different from my dad in most ways, but there is one thing he does just like him, and it drives me nuts.  They both wait until it is almost time to leave (I'm talking 10 minutes here), and then they take their showers and start getting ready!  Infuriating!

Barbara


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## suziquzie (Oct 1, 2008)

Barbara L said:


> Somehow I think we all end up "marrying our dads" in some ways. James is very different from my dad in most ways, but there is one thing he does just like him, and it drives me nuts. They both wait until it is almost time to leave (I'm talking 10 minutes here), and then they take their showers and start getting ready! Infuriating!
> 
> Barbara


 
I think they all do that Barbara. DH does it.... when I walk in the door from work and we have to go somewhere..... he sits there until we're late and takes a shower..... leaving ME to rush around to dress all the kids and pack a diaper bag... which he coulda done in the 6 hours BEFORE I got home...
Then.... to top it off.... he comes back upstairs dressed and ready to go....
AND ASKS WHY WE"RE NOT READY YET!!! 

EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!!! 

dork.


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## Barbara L (Oct 1, 2008)

suziquzie said:


> ...Then.... to top it off.... he comes back upstairs dressed and ready to go....
> AND ASKS WHY WE"RE NOT READY YET!!!
> 
> EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!!!
> ...


Oh my gosh!  They really are all the same!  

Barbara


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## NAchef (Oct 1, 2008)

Barbara L said:


> Somehow I think we all end up "marrying our dads" in some ways. James is very different from my dad in most ways, but there is one thing he does just like him, and it drives me nuts. They both wait until it is almost time to leave (I'm talking 10 minutes here), and then they take their showers and start getting ready! Infuriating!
> 
> Barbara


 

We are SO efficient that we do not need any more time then that!


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## Barbara L (Oct 1, 2008)

NAchef said:


> We are SO efficient that we do not need any more time then that!


Then why are we always late?!!!!! 

Barbara


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## Jeekinz (Oct 1, 2008)

Here we go "Men are from Mars, women are from Pluto"


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## NAchef (Oct 1, 2008)

Barbara L said:


> Then why are we always late?!!!!!
> 
> Barbara


 

I have no idea why women are always late, I am still trying to figure that out!


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## Callisto in NC (Oct 1, 2008)

Jeekinz said:


> Here we go "Men are from Mars, women are from Pluto"


Venus ~ we're from Venus.    Poor Pluto isn't even a planet anymore.


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## Barbara L (Oct 1, 2008)

NAchef said:


> I have no idea why women are always late, I am still trying to figure that out!


As my wonderful, and perpetually late, husband always says, Wrong Answer!

Barbara


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## Jeekinz (Oct 1, 2008)

Callisto in NC said:


> Venus ~ we're from Venus.  Poor Pluto isn't even a planet anymore.


 
Which is why it makes perfect sense.


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## Claire (Oct 1, 2008)

Oh, this is funny!  I'm what anyone would call a low-maintenance woman.  I tell hubby, "Please let me know 20 minutes before you want to leave."  He will still say "OK, let's go at 6".  OK.  Then at 5:30 he'll ask if I'm ready yet.  I look at him and swear.  Hey, I'm LOW MAINTENANCE_ NOT_ none at all!  Even I have teeth and hair and clean clothes!


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## pot clanger (Oct 1, 2008)

Be yourself.   Be sincere.   Don't try too hard or shower her with flattery, but take time to observe what is special and unique about her - you'll figure out how to let her know that you like her.  Strive for happiness in your heart - it will shine outward and we will notice!  These are good general rules for relating to ALL people, not just a romantic interest.  It's so hard to say what will impress women in general across the board - my gosh, we're all SO different!  There's no real magic formula that works on ALL women, so don't try too hard to try to figure "us" out - we're not a mathematical equation.  (bowling shirt said it simply and effectively - I guess I am babbling...)


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## expatgirl (Oct 1, 2008)

my hubby drives me nuts on the getting ready situation......I'm low maitenance, too........in fact I'm quite cheap.........and I'm always ready to go.........I slow myself down just for him and then he has the nerve to question why I"m holding HIM up.........the urge to kill


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## Chief Longwind Of The North (Oct 3, 2008)

expatgirl said:


> my hubby drives me nuts on the getting ready situation......I'm low maitenance, too........in fact I'm quite cheap.........and I'm always ready to go.........I slow myself down just for him and then he has the nerve to question why I"m holding HIM up.........the urge to kill


 
So tell me, how do I transfer some of those "low mainitenance" and "ready to go" characteristics into my DW?  She is so consistantly late (It doesn't matter what the event is, and it drives me crazy!) that I have informed her that if she goes before me, I am going to make certain that she is late for her own funeral.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


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## pot clanger (Oct 3, 2008)

Just wanna say, in regards to the poll?  I vote for a man who CLEANS UP, and I mean the dishes/house!  Hee!

But, seriously - it's kind of hard to say...  I admire musical aptitude, have been known to swoon over a good meal, but a man/person who can give love & attention & show patience with animals and children is HUGE....


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## buckytom (Oct 3, 2008)

lots of good advice, from both planets here.

the best being that there are no general rules. if there were, women would just change them on the fly.

for whatever reason (that lies deep within my psyche, cursing me forever) i've never dated a low maintenance woman. and none of them were on time for anything. you just get used to it, and adjust accordingly. no amount of trickery, nor karats tied to a string will ever change them.

to quote the great archie bunker, patience is a virgin. you've gotta have patience, or you'll always be a virgin...


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## LadyCook61 (Oct 3, 2008)

expatgirl said:


> my hubby drives me nuts on the getting ready situation......I'm low maitenance, too........in fact I'm quite cheap.........and I'm always ready to go.........I slow myself down just for him and then he has the nerve to question why I"m holding HIM up.........the urge to kill


 
If it weren't for hubby I would be on time. I am usually ready to go somewhere way ahead of him.  He takes so long to get ready.  I don't even wear makeup , have wash and wear hair , don't blow dry hair.  If we have to go somewhere at a specific time, I don't tell him the actual time of the appointment, I tell him we leave by such and such time ,  and yet.. we still leave later than I want !


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## Chief Longwind Of The North (Oct 3, 2008)

I can tell ya, flubbed acrobatics doesn't impress them.  However, goofy acrobatics can.  Let me explain.  I once went running with this gorgeous young lady on Coronado Beach in Southern California.  We ran about a mile and she started getting a bit winded.  I was young and strong, and at that point of my life had boundless energy.  I suggested we turn around and head back to the blanket.  About 50 feet or so from our blanket, I sprinted.  Upon reaching the blanket, I did a forward flip and landed on my back in what was to be a perfect back-fall, like I had learned and used countless times in Judo.  But in the sand, my footing was a bit off, and so my timing was a split second off.  I stuck the landing but knocked the wind out of my lungs.  I lay there unable to breathe, just praying that my lungs re-inflated before she reached the blanket.  They didn't and when she gasped something like "That was amazing", all impressed with my stunt, I could barely get out a whisper to say thank you, exposing my mistake.  She didn't seem to mind, but I was so embarrased.

On the other hand, I did a cartwheel in a hallway at work, allowing pens, a tiny flashlight, and couple bits of paper to fall from my shirt pocket, while a couple of younger female co-workers was walking toward me.  The stunt had the desired effect of causing them to bust out laughing, almost uncontrollably.  They giggled for a couple of months every time they saw me after that.  Mind you, I was about 47 years of age when I did the cartwheel, and had a bit of a tummy, but was still in fair shape.  Oh, and I wasn't flirting.  I was trying to make someone's day a bit less dreary.  It really wouldn't have mattered who was in the hallway.  I had it planned before I hit the hallway.  It was great fun.

So, don't be afraid to be a cornball.  But don't try to show off.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


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## deelady (Oct 5, 2008)

If your guitar playing is from the heart and not just trying to impress then I would be impressed. Like what was said before, be yourself and be sincere....if she is not impressed then you are much better off without her!


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