# I got grillmarks on my steak!



## carnivore (Apr 15, 2003)

everyone can start sleeping better now--i got grillmarks last night!
my trick was to raise the hot charcoal up about an inch away from the top grate, letting it preheat for about 5 minutes.  then i lowered it to it's normal cooking height, threw a steak on there and _voila!_
thanks to all those who responded to my original post, (not to mention those who quickly showed me up--oldcoot!  :P )


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## kitchenelf (Apr 15, 2003)

doin' the happy dance!!!!!!!!!   8)


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## Coco (Apr 15, 2003)

Carnivore, I am very excited for you. I hope you took pictures as proof? Just kidding!


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## oldcoot (Apr 15, 2003)

Obviously the whole problem could have been solved with an understanding of simple physics/thermodynamics.  Wemt for sports in high school, did you, Carnivore?  Figures!  You "Jocks"!

But I am truly happy for you, that you finally have acquired burned stripes on your primary foodstuff.

My Mother did that regularly, by accident - not necessarily stripes, hiowever.  Godawful cook!


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## carnivore (Apr 15, 2003)

hi oldcoot,
Congratulations!  Even though you are very, very old, you've managed to maintain a sense of humor!!  I figured that senility would have killed that off by now...
...don't know what else to say...
ummm... my steak is better than your pan-fried "pretender steak"?
(all in good fun, of course   )


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## oldcoot (Apr 16, 2003)

It seems probable that Man first devoured “steak” as the result of collateral damage of a forest fire, or some similar event.  Ever looking to improve his lot, Man first put the meat on a stick to keep it out of the sand and ashes.  As sticks have a tendency to burn through, that method was not entirely successful, so, when he discovered iron, he came up with that primitive method of burning meat, the grill.

The more intelligent among men noticed that the grill method tended to burn the meat in some areas, and also the flavorful juices dropped through the grill into the fire.  So the skillet was invented., to more evenly distribute the heat, and thereby make every morsel equally delicious, and to retain those marvelous juices, further enhancing the flavor.

As an unexpected benefit, fewer cooks were overcome by the toxic smoke of burning fat – excepting those like my Mother who continued to burn it even in a pan, thereby filling the entire house with smoke and no doubt contributing to the emphysema from which I now suffer.

It is no surprise that primitive, carnivorous beings, lacking an understanding of the tiner things in our short lives, would erroneously believe burned meat is desirable – that being they flavor to which they are accustomed.  It is so sad.


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## carnivore (Apr 16, 2003)

well oldcoot,
as I'm sure you realize, we're never going to agree on this point.  The way I see it, there can only be two reasons for your failure to acknowledge the obvious superiority of a grilled steak versus a pan-fried one.
1)  A 20 lb bag of charcoal can be an exhausting physical challenge to one as "mature" as yourself, so out of necessity, you've been forced to acquire a taste for the blandness of pan-fried meat.
2)  You lost your taste-buds in the war (BTW, did you fight for the North or the South?)


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## Coco (Apr 16, 2003)

Thanks, Carnivore. You gave me a good laugh this morning!


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## oldcoot (Apr 16, 2003)

Although it pains me deeply to admit it, I find I must concur with Coco!

Carnivore, your knowledge of history is lacking, too: everyone knows California was Union!  (That's North)


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## carnivore (Apr 16, 2003)

you guys & gals are a lot of fun.
we should get together sometime.   Hmmm, since i live in the most central location, i submit that you should all fly down here.
I'll barbecue spareribs (are those OK to cook in the grill, oldcoot?)
and Coco can bartend.  Norma can bring her boyfriend, and kitchenelf will be occupied by putting asparagus on everything.
see you this weekend


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## kitchenelf (Apr 16, 2003)

ROASTED asparagus - you know, it gives it that nutty flavor - but YOU carnivore, I'll just serve walnuts to you! LOL :P


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## Coco (Apr 16, 2003)

I'm not sure I'm qualified to be a bartender. Perhaps I can bring the cheese? Kitchenelf, you bring the pasta salad, ok?


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## oldcoot (Apr 16, 2003)

Oh, my foodness!  Burnt bones with a scrap of overdone meat slathered in a sauce heavily spiced to mask the fact that the meat has little flavor.  Then add some odd, unheard of rotten milk labelled cheese, and top it off with cold, slimy pasta in what is touted as "salad".....and all that in that flat, featureless locale?

I'll stay home.  

Which will, of course, delight everyone attending.

And, while you are devouring that swill, I shall partake of filet (mignon, not salmon!), with, perhaps, steamed asparagus with a traditinal Hollandaise sauce,   Then too, a serving of mashed yam would fit in nicely, along with a crisp green sald and topped off with a fruit compote.  A small goblet o of  Cabernet Sauvignon with the entree, follwed by chilled Chardonnay with the compote, then finished with cafe amaretto.  

Heh, heh!  Enjoy those bones, gang.

By the way, I just enjoyed a shot of truly fine tequila (with lime and salt, of course) just before checking in here.  Delicious!


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## kitchenelf (Apr 16, 2003)

ROFLMAO - oldcoot - you're description leaves me the feeling that maybe I shouldn't run and pack my bags!!!! BUT, for just carnivore's signature line alone I will have to attend!!  

There is nothing like GOOD tequilla!!!  

Coco - are you going to provide us with a bar menu when we get there??


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## carnivore (Apr 16, 2003)

hi oldcoot,
Obviously you've never had MY ribs.  I make my own barbecue sauce for them (which is half bourbon) and hickory smoke them over very low heat for 2 or 3 hours.  They are very tender--as long as you have your Fixodent on, you should be OK.

To take a break from the "old-people" jokes--i'm curious--you mentioned Hollandaise sauce.  I have a few recipes for this, but have never tried them before.  I have always heard that it's a very hard sauce to make correctly.  What do you think?  

oh, and don't knock Kansas.......we have a hill....


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## oldcoot (Apr 16, 2003)

Bourbon,?  Did someone mention bourbon???  Now THAT gets my attention!!  

Sadly, the finest bourbon is no longer available - I.W. Harper bottled in bond - my sole "beverage -of-choice" for over a quarter century.  Damned japanese bought the distillery!!  Japanese are fine folk, but they know from nothing about bourbon!!!  I still have a little left, but am absolutely miserly about its use.

Anyway, the inclusion of quantities of bourbon in your sauce is, no doubt, the reason the ribs seem  palatable - inebriated diners are hardly gourmets!


As to Hollendaise, BW makes it.  But I did try it a while back, and found it surprisingly easy (Used a small whisk).  If I can do it, believe me, anyone can!  However, keep in mind that, should disaster occur, a blender will likely fix it!  If you don't yet have one of those hand-hld "boat-motor" types of blender, I recommend one.    Terrific for pureeing right in the pot - or for re-emulsifying a broken emulsion, or smoothing a lumpy sauce or gravy.  (Not that anyone here would ever experience such things, but.....)

*HOLD ON JUST A DANG MINUTE, HERE!  What's a true carnivore need with Hollendaise sauce?!!!!*


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## Coco (Apr 16, 2003)

Now I'm worried. Carnivore, you're not putting hollandaise on vegetables are you? In secrecy?   

Couldn't be; must be for eggs benedict.

As for the bar menu, my preferences are ice cold vodka martinis, red wine or white wine, or honey-brown ale. You'll all have to drink what I drink!


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## carnivore (Apr 16, 2003)

Coco:
you hit the nail right on the head:  I usually only partake of Hollandaise sauce in eggs benedict.  However, I remember making a recipe where it was used over meat, but can't for the life of me remember which one!  Hopefully this eases your mind--no veggies for carnivore!!
Oh, and TRUST me--as long as it's got alcohol in it, i'll drink it.   

oldcoot:
fact 1:  Inebriated guests are the only kind that will partake in my food offerings (not to mention the only kind that amuse me).
fact 2:  I've never heard of I.W. Harper (i'm sure that doesn't surprise you), but my favorite bourbons are Knob Creek & Makers Mark.  Jack Daniels come in a close 2nd.


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## kitchenelf (Apr 17, 2003)

Carnivore - a lot of times filet mignon is served with a bernaise sauce - or the "oscar" dishes like veal oscar, etc.  Bernaise is exactly the same as hollandaise except for the addition of chopped tarragon.


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## oldcoot (Apr 17, 2003)

Yes, but that tarragon makes a tremendous difference!  Mmmmm!

Speaking of Tarragon, Tarragon Chicken is among my favorites.

Aaron, lad, Jack Daniels is not, as you imply, Bourbon.  It is a Tennessee Whickey, while true Bourbon's come from Kentucky.  Your choices reflect an unexpected knowledge of quality, however.   There is a scarcely touched bottle of Jack Daniels hat has been relegated to the back of my "bar" for some years.  Not nearly of the quality of Harper - or of Makers Mark, for that matter.

I judge a whiskey by its sippin' qualities:  if it is smooth and enjoyably flavorful when drunk neat, slowly - a sip at a time: that's good whiskey.


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