# Menu planning for love's sake



## blissful

Sometimes I make food for DH because I want him to be happy and to feel loved. This might be something I won't eat at all.

He wants me to make him some 'goulash with peas', which his mom made when he was growing up. I won't eat it because it has pasta in it and it has peas in it and those peas don't seem to belong in there. It is hamburger, onion, tomato sauce, macaroni and peas.

When I make chili, which he likes, he wants it with macaroni in it. Since he eats dinner on 2nd shift without me, I don't mind adding the macaroni to the meals I make him. His mom made it that way.

Do you make meals for the sake of love? I don't really mind. I just won't eat it.


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## Andy M.

I sometimes cook us different dinners when I crave something I love that she doesn't like. I haven't been in a  situation where SO asked me to cook a dish with a different ingredient.


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## roadfix

Me, no.   It's usually take out if she wants something special....


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## Kayelle

Yep I do it all the time. My meals are low carb but I'm always including carbs in his meals. It's really not that hard to do with careful planning.


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## Dawgluver

*Menu planning for love sake*

I cook what I cook.  If DH doesn't like it, well, there's always peanut butter and jelly or Cheerios.


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## blissful

Kayelle, I dipped out a cup of the hamburger, onions, and tomatoes, for myself. 




Dawgluver said:


> I cook what I cook.  If DH doesn't like it, well, there's always peanut butter and jelly or Cheerios.



It's not peanut butter and jelly. It's a grape juice reduction with a nut butter on a brioche like bread. It's not Cheerios, it's an artfully shaped oat bakery item.


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## Silversage

It's often a compromise.  I make things I'm not crazy about to please my wife.  But there  are things I really don't like, and things she doesn't like at all.  If she doesn't like it at all, I either wait until she visits her sister to make it for myself, or I order it in restaurants.  If I really dislike it, I prepare it for her to reheat when I'm out of town or she orders it in restaurants.


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## Dawgluver

*Menu planning for love sake*



blissful said:


> Kayelle, I dipped out a cup of the hamburger, onions, and tomatoes, for myself.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> It's not peanut butter and jelly. It's a grape juice reduction with a nut butter on a brioche like bread. It's not Cheerios, it's an artfully shaped oat bakery item.




  bliss!

No liver or Brussels sprouts will ever grace my kitchen, even though DH loves both.  He's strange.


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## tenspeed

Dawgluver said:


> No liver or Brussels sprouts will ever grace my kitchen, even though DH loves both.  He's strange.


Have you ever roasted the brussel sprouts?  SIL didn't think he liked brussel sprouts until I roasted them with EVOO and garlic.  Now I have to make an extra large quantity of them when he's over.  I have another story about a friend who politely took some brussel sprouts and was floored at how good they are if they aren't overcooked.


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## Kaneohegirlinaz

Oh my gosh, of course!
If you've been following my posts here or on my blog, DH is, well, 
PICKY A-- EATER!
Me on the other hand, I'm pretty adventurous when it comes to food... I also really like creamy dishes ... 
DH: "EEEWWW! That's gross! How can you eat that. 
EEWWW, it's creamy, I don't like that. 
EEWWWW that smell awful, go sit over there with that creamy, nasty bleu cheese salad dressing... how can you eat that sh--  "
Please add the voice of a 10 year old whiny little boy for the full effect!!  
So there are many meals that are 2 totally different plates, but not entirely, there are many dishes that we equally like or dislike, 
such as Liver and Onions, ACK!


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## Dawgluver

*Menu planning for love sake*



tenspeed said:


> Have you ever roasted the brussel sprouts?  SIL didn't think he liked brussel sprouts until I roasted them with EVOO and garlic.  Now I have to make an extra large quantity of them when he's over.  I have another story about a friend who politely took some brussel sprouts and was floored at how good they are if they aren't overcooked.




No Brussels sprouts.  I do not like them Sam I Am.  I've had them every way I can (cam).  They're icky yucky every day.  They're horrid awful every way.  Roasted, baked, marinated, they should just be compostated.  (a tip of the hat to Dr. Seuss).

You are certainly welcome to my share, Tenspeed!


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## Steve Kroll

Well, I live by myself.... so no. I eat what I want. It's actually refreshing for a change to be able to eat mushrooms, fish, eggs, and sauerkraut without having to worry what others in the house might think.


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## Smokeydoke

Can't eat hot stuff anymore. 

But I don't mind too much, I'd much rather have DH eat dinner with me and be happy. 

I remember bought kimchee one day (when he wasn't dear hubby) and he asked me what died in here. 

The smell must've lingered from the bag to the fridge or he could smell it through the fridge. Yikes. I'm so used to it, I didn't know what he was talking about. 

We compromise because 99% of the time I pick where we go out to eat. And he's been a champ about eating at ethnic places.


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## blissful

I hear you Steve. When we were growing up, dad would only eat meat and potatoes, so when he worked 2nd shift, we all enjoyed our food and all the new things mom tried to make. If we made anything 'new', there was a gallon and 1/2 of complaining on dad's part.

Maybe it's just me. If you asked me, did you see the person in the red shirt, I won't have a clue who you are talking about. I can't remember what people wear, I never could.

I can remember everyone's favorite dish, or favorite dessert, or comfort food, or favorite candy, or what they often crave. I bet I could list 20 people I know and I'd know the answer to at least one of the favorites for each one. This goes back at least 30 years, so maybe I could do this for 30-40 people I've known. It's surely a bizarre talent to have.


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## Cheryl J

What a good idea for a thread, *bliss*!  I'm in *Steve*'s camp - I live alone and cook for myself 99% of the time so I do whatever I dang well please. 

When family comes over, I have to be careful because one doesn't like celery, another hates onions, no one likes mushrooms, most of them must have at least med well to well done steaks , few of them like tomatoes....it's tough for a family get together over here.  But, it's doable with a little thought and the best thing is getting together. LOL


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## Kaneohegirlinaz

When I lived alone, I was young and honestly didn't have much money.
So if you looked in my `fridge, you'd find:
Eggs
Rice (already cooked, ready to be reheated)
Beer
Water
... that's it 

DH, well, when I first met him as a confirmed bachelor and had in his `fridge:
Beer 
Water
Coffee Beans for grinding the morning
.. that's it 
at least I had SOMETHING to eat


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## blissful

I once forgot what foods my mom was allergic to, and she's invited herself over expecting me to feed her, and I told her all I had was tuna, so I could make tuna sandwiches, she accused me of trying to kill her. (she was serious too) I think this is where I started to memorize what people liked or could not have. I'm guessing I need a therapist to uncover what is really going on here. 
ha

My son and I made gnocchi for the first time, we used to cook together, it was such fun. He and I called them, 'pillows of love'.


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## Cooking Goddess

Dawgluver said:


> I cook what I cook.  If DH doesn't like it, well, there's always peanut butter and jelly or Cheerios.


+1
I shop. I prep. I cook. I clean up. I wash the pots/pans. I run the dishwasher. I put the clean dishes away. Himself takes the garbage out...sometimes grudgingly. I'll be danged if I worry whether or not he's getting his "special" meal. What is special about his plate some days is that I haven't slipped in a little something to hasten him meeting his Maker.  *Just kidding!!!*

Actually, I do get sushi for him when I'm shopping the store with the in-house sushi "chef". I do pick up things he likes that would never find a place on my plate. But to go out of the way to cook a meal, or to adapt something before I can pull out my portion? Nope. That being said, I have been able to drag him along on culinary adventures as I've expanded my cooking beyond the basic Polish cooking I learned from my Mom and Nanna as I was growing up. I'm really lucky. He doesn't complain when I feed him something he says is "meh". He doesn't ask me to make things I do not want to cook. He's pretty easy to please.


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## PrincessFiona60

Yes, I buy and cook those things for Shrek that I do not like.  I also buy things I like and he doesn't.  I don't eat what I don't like and neither does he.  Most days I make two separate meals.


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## medtran49

We make things that 1 of us likes way more than the other, especially for Birthday meals, even just because sometimes.  Both of us are fairly adventurous eaters though so none of the favorites of one, not so much the other, are meals that won't be eaten at least for that dinner even if leftovers won't be touched by the _not so much _ other.


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## Addie

When I married my first husband, being a pro chef, I was nervous about cooking for him. But he was really good. If I made something that was close to inedible, he would tell me where I went wrong. Otherwise he would eat anything I put in front of him.

My second husband thought I was some sort of angel sent to feed him. His first wife only cooked from the freezer. TV dinners, pot pies, etc. No wonder he loved eating in the mess hall. (He was in the service at the time.) He told me one day he hated powdered eggs. It just so happened that a neighbor gave me a bag, and I used it for all my coating recipes. You know, flour, egg, breadcrumbs. I never told, he never knew. Then one day I was wondering just what did powdered eggs taste like. So I made myself just enough scrambled eggs equal to one egg according to directions. I put butter on them and made them with milk instead of the water called for. Then hubby came in and thought I had made it for him. So I let him eat it. He thought it was wonderful. The next day I told him the truth. He changed his mind about powdered eggs.


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## jabbur

DH likes liver and onions.  I can't swallow liver.  Texture thing it kind of stuck in my throat going down and I have to "get rid of it" fast.  That's the only thing he likes that I refuse to cook.  When we married he hated anything with pepper. Black, green, red, yellow was a no-go.  Anything spicy hot was off the table also.  He's gotten better.  I can use them in recipes if they are diced fine enough that they get the flavor without the chunks.  He loves onions. I can tolerate them but often raw onions upset my stomach.  I love mushrooms, he can't stand them.  I can sneak Campbell's cream of mushroom soup into some recipes.  I'll sometimes make sauteed onions in one pan and sauteed mushrooms in another for on top of steaks and burgers.  In general, he eats what I cook now.  There's rarely a time when I cook different meals for us.


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## CakePoet

He get beans on toast and so does my daughter and I eat tuna salad,  that happens from time to time. And sometimes the other ways around, me and little one eats something we like and he gets a different meal.  Since I am so intolerant  to things that are main in many lovely dishes, I tend to cook differently for me and them most of the time.


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## Rocklobster

I cook for my gf all of the time. I do pretty much all of the cooking and she knows I enjoy it. Sometimes I can't decide what to make so she suggests things that she likes, so I oblige, happily..I'll eat just about anything so, I don't mind eating what she wants from time to time even though it's not something I would ever make for myself...


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## CakePoet

My exhusband was stubborn eater, any thing I cooked except when we had guest sucked..  didnt matter if I made to his wish.  So my  current has no say in how  food is prepared , he gets to eat what I know he will like or might like.


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## Andy M.

We accommodate differences in our partners in many different areas.  Cooking is just one of them.


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## Smokeydoke

PrincessFiona60 said:


> Yes, I buy and cook those things for *Shrek* that I do not like.  I also buy things I like and he doesn't.  I don't eat what I don't like and neither does he.  Most days I make two separate meals.



Fiona, that's so cool, I call my husband Shrek too.


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## jd_1138

I wish I could make what I want.  Wife has a spinal problem and can't cook -- still recuperating.  

This is the menu I'd have if it were up to me:

Monday: soup (cooked all day in Crock-Pot)
Tuesday: leftover soup 
Wednesday: grilled cheese, salad or a burrito and spanish rice
Thurday: leftover soup (last of it)
Friday:  TV dinners
Saturday:  BBQ on the charcoal grille
Sunday:  roast chicken & veggies or a pot roast

But she wants a full meal every night -- a protein, a starch, a side, bread, dessert.  Ugh.   Wife says soup 3 nights a week smacks of an Oliver Twist/19th century English workhouse.


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## GotGarlic

jd_1138 said:


> I wish I could make what I want.  Wife has a spinal problem and can't cook -- still recuperating.
> 
> This is the menu I'd have if it were up to me:
> 
> Monday: soup (cooked all day in Crock-Pot)
> Tuesday: leftover soup
> Wednesday: grilled cheese, salad or a burrito and spanish rice
> Thurday: leftover soup (last of it)
> Friday:  TV dinners
> Saturday:  BBQ on the charcoal grille
> Sunday:  roast chicken & veggies or a pot roast
> 
> But she wants a full meal every night -- a protein, a starch, a side, bread, dessert.  Ugh.   Wife says soup 3 nights a week smacks of an Oliver Twist/19th century English workhouse.



jd, I'm sorry things are so difficult for you. How does she feel about casseroles that include a protein, starch and veggies? This could be a way to repurpose leftovers like roast chicken or pot roast and the vegetables. I'm sure we can come up with other ideas to make the menu a little easier for you.

Here's an example:

Night 1: Roast chicken, rice and gravy, a vegetable, and rolls. Make extra rice for later in the week. 

Night 2: casserole with 2 cups of the chicken (save some for night 3), leftover rice, and a new set of vegetables, with rolls. Could add taco seasoning to add a different flavor. Top it with cheese. Cut extra vegetables while you're at it, to use in soup the next day. 

Night 3: soup with the last of the chicken, the cut vegetables, and noodles. You can vary the flavors from one week to the next - Greek, Italian, Thai, etc. 

Night 4: BBQ on the grill, with grilled vegetables - enough meat and vegetables to have leftovers. Buy potato salad from the store.

Night 5: tacos or burritos or pizza with the leftover meat and vegetables from the day before. 

Night 6: TV dinners or takeout. 

I hope this helps.


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## Cheryl J

Hi jd....I too am sorry that your beloved has mobility problems and isn't able to participate in meal preps, but still wants to eat well.  *GG *has posted some great ideas.

Just to add another suggestion or two - since you have a crock pot, a pork shoulder roast goes a long way.  You could slow cook it, shred it, and repurpose it for many meals.  Pulled pork sandwiches on French rolls with a green salad, or cole slaw.  Tacos.....pulled or chopped pork on either corn or flour tortillas with lettuce, tomatoes, cheese. You could also add that shredded or chopped pork with some cream of mushroom soup and pasta, call it a stroganoff, and add a side of veggies. 

As far as desserts, if she has to have one every night...there's always Betty Crocker or Pillsbury boxed brownie mixes....make a batch, drizzle choc syrup over a couple one night, or a side of vanilla ice cream another, and call it good.  You're doing the best you can.


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## GotGarlic

Good ideas, Cheryl


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## Smokeydoke

DH eats everything I put in front of him (he's not stupid). 

But I'm starting to get annoyed by his "helping".

Oh well... first world problems.


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## dragnlaw

*GG, Cheryl *- gosh golly gee whiz...   I so admire & wish I had your menu skills!  I am absolutely miserable at it.   I know it sounds silly but no matter what I say or do I suddenly change everything half way thru and put everything out of whack.  I always look at my friends in wonder when they say they've made something for one night and plan to have the rest two nights later as....


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## CakePoet

I  am still doing my  menus the same way as I did in August but now with no microwave oven. The left over have a very short turn around. They are lunch next day, they have to be.


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## GotGarlic

dragnlaw said:


> *GG, Cheryl *- gosh golly gee whiz...   I so admire & wish I had your menu skills!  I am absolutely miserable at it.   I know it sounds silly but no matter what I say or do I suddenly change everything half way thru and put everything out of whack.  I always look at my friends in wonder when they say they've made something for one night and plan to have the rest two nights later as....



Thanks. We've had many questions about how to use leftovers over the years. Planned leftovers reduce both food waste and time and effort spent cooking. 

That's a habit you can change if you want to


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## Andy M.

I plan leftovers on a regular basis to save myself time in the kitchen.  A favorite for leftover chicken is to make quesadillas then chicken (salad) sandwiches.


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## Dawgluver

I don't plan leftovers, they plan me.  I can't cook for just two people.  Stuff just grows out of the pot.


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## Kayelle

Unless I get leftovers right into the freezer, they will disappear as lunches before I can plan them for another dinner.
Hardly anything goes to waste here.


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## jd_1138

GotGarlic said:


> jd, I'm sorry things are so difficult for you. How does she feel about casseroles that include a protein, starch and veggies? This could be a way to repurpose leftovers like roast chicken or pot roast and the vegetables. I'm sure we can come up with other ideas to make the menu a little easier for you.
> 
> Here's an example:
> 
> Night 1: Roast chicken, rice and gravy, a vegetable, and rolls. Make extra rice for later in the week.
> 
> ........................................................
> 
> Night 6: TV dinners or takeout.
> 
> I hope this helps.



Wow, thanks for all the tips and suggestions.  I'll write those down on the dry erase board. 

Also the other suggestions by other people are great, too.


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## Addie

Dawgluver said:


> I don't plan leftovers, they plan me.  I can't cook for just two people.  Stuff just grows out of the pot.



Dawg, it took me a* long time *to realize that the troops (cooking for an army) were out on their own maneuvers and were not coming back for a daily meal. 

So I finally learn to cook for one, and now my appetite has decreased. I just can't cook for only one without leftovers. Chicken salad for a half person? 

1 small chicken leg
a dab of mayo
about an inch or two of finely diced celery
a thick slice of finely diced onion
S&P

See what I mean? 

I no longer buy a bag of onions. Two very large loose ones lasts me for a whole month. I no longer buy items by the bag. The loose produce is now where I shop. Four potatoes often last me for more than a month. Spike and I now split and share a stalk of celery. He takes the bigger half with more ribs.


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## CakePoet

Remember that left overs only safe to eat for 3 days in the fridge according to both American and Swedish health sites.

Rice is said 4- 6 days in USA but in Sweden only 3 and in warm weather 2, because of nasty bacteria.


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## GotGarlic

It's possible to freeze leftovers for later in the week. Rice in particular thaws very quickly.

I don't see what the outside temperature has to do with it if the rice is kept refrigerated.


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## CakePoet

GotGarlic: aparently the bug is more active in hot weather or something like that.  
Yes, freezing is the best option, but  a lot of people  dont think of it.


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## GotGarlic

CakePoet said:


> GotGarlic: aparently the bug is more active in hot weather or something like that.



Bacteria grow faster when the temperature *where they are* is between 41 and 140 degrees F. If they're in the fridge, and it's set properly below 40 degrees, it doesn't matter what the outside temperature is.



CakePoet said:


> Yes, freezing is the best option, but  a lot of people dont think of it.



That's why I'm mentioning it


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## Dawgluver

Thanks so much for the reminder, ladies.  I need to freeze the leftover rice from our last Chinese takeout.


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## CWS4322

Silversage said:


> It's often a compromise.  I make things I'm not crazy about to please my wife.  But there  are things I really don't like, and things she doesn't like at all.  If she doesn't like it at all, I either wait until she visits her sister to make it for myself, or I order it in restaurants.  If I really dislike it, I prepare it for her to reheat when I'm out of town or she orders it in restaurants.


I am not cooking for myself these day. I cook things my Mom can eat either with her fingers or easily stab with her fork. She doesn't digest tomatoes, so I don't cook any tomato-based dishes for her. However, my Dad loves red gravy, so I will make that for him. Since I don't eat pasta, when I make a pasta-based dish, that is for him. Mom isn't crazy about pasta, either. Her meals are usually a protein, veggie, and fruit, maybe some garlic toast. I feel as if I am a short-order cook these days. The things you do for love.


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## Dawgluver

CWS4322 said:


> I am not cooking for myself these day. I cook things my Mom can eat either with her fingers or easily stab with her fork. She doesn't digest tomatoes, so I don't cook any tomato-based dishes for her. However, my Dad loves red gravy, so I will make that for him. Since I don't eat pasta, when I make a pasta-based dish, that is for him. Mom isn't crazy about pasta, either. Her meals are usually a protein, veggie, and fruit, maybe some garlic toast. I feel as if I am a short-order cook these days. The things you do for love.




Awww.  CWS, sending you many hugs!  Wishing I could still cook for my parents.


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## Steve Kroll

In some ways, I'm fortunate. I live alone so I can make whatever I want for myself. There are no picky eaters in this house.

However, there are times I really do miss cooking for someone else. Especially when I feel like I've made something good and there's no one around to share it with.


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## Dawgluver

Steve Kroll said:


> In some ways, I'm fortunate. I live alone so I can make whatever I want for myself. There are no picky eaters in this house.
> 
> However, there are times I really do miss cooking for someone else. Especially when I feel like I've made something good and there's no one around to share it with.




We have a recently divorced neighbor who is the beneficiary of my leftovers.  He seems to enjoy them, and has graciously allowed us to use his freezer after ours broke.


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## CharlieD

This love thing was invented by russians, so they would not have to pay for you know what.
Ok, jokes aside, having large family with most of them picky eaters, my love to them turns my house into a restaurant. This doesn't like this and that doesn't like that. I make all kind of things to keep them happy. 
I don't mind.


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## Andy M.

I have a family of picky eaters.  My two daughters each have dislikes that the other likes, my 10 year old grandson is a picky eater as are most kids that age and my SIL takes the cake!  He dislikes most things that make it difficult to cook most dishes.  Hates, onions, mushrooms, peppers, olives, etc. etc.

For family dinners I just instruct them to bring a veggie or side their family will eat.  This year, SO's sister and BIL are joining us and she's another picky eater.  But I love to cook for the holidays when the menu is fixed so it's all good.


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## CakePoet

Husband is  bit picky but I can work around it, he used to be even more picky when he moved here but my cooking has made him love stuff.  My daughter is in that stage where she tries to be  picky but since doesnt let her, it doesnt form a habit.  So today and yesterday she did have peppers, she didnt know nor asked and ate.
She doesnt like onion or cabbage but will eat onion and cabbage pirogis.

So as mum I just smile and nod and fed her good food.

Ones or twice a month I  go home to a chef and we cook what ever we want to eat, how ever it maybe and  that no one likes  here at home.  Best part is what my husband loves, this guy dislike and the opposite true to, so I get to  cook and eat until  I am happy smiling.  

We are now menu planning new year, it going be fun.   Christmas is already set so that is no worry, same thing as last year.


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## Kayelle

Andy M. said:


> I have a family of picky eaters.  My two daughters each have dislikes that the other likes, my 10 year old grandson is a picky eater as are most kids that age and *my SIL takes the cake!  He dislikes most things that make it difficult to cook most dishes.  Hates, onions, mushrooms, peppers, olives, etc. etc.
> *
> For family dinners I just instruct them to bring a veggie or side their family will eat.  This year, SO's sister and BIL are joining us and she's another picky eater.  But I love to cook for the holidays when the menu is fixed so it's all good.



Andy, I have to really hand it to you with those family dinners of picky eaters.  You are much more tolerant than I.  Your SIL sounds particularly unreasonable and I'd ignore him myself, but that's just me.  
There aren't many things I dislike but as a guest, I can't imagine making an issue of what I won't eat. That's insulting and rude in my opinion.


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## Andy M.

Kayelle said:


> Andy, I have to really hand it to you with those family dinners of picky eaters.  You are much more tolerant than I.  Your SIL sounds particularly unreasonable and I'd ignore him myself, but that's just me.
> There aren't many things I dislike but as a guest, I can't imagine making an issue of what I won't eat. That's insulting and rude in my opinion.



Kayelle, I hear you but he's family and he never is nasty about it.  As a matter of fact, my daughter is the one who reminds me that he doesn't like something.  On those occasions when one of his dislikes makes it onto his plate, he just quietly pushes it aside and doesn't say anything.

He's a good guy, he's family and he's my guest.  Three excellent reasons to accommodate his quirks.  My family accommodates my quirks.  They make book on how close I'll actually come to the advertised meal time.


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## dragnlaw

I think perhaps what CakePoet was implying is that although people are usually pretty good about getting their food stored quickly and properly - perhaps in the summer or warmer times it might have been left out longer than it should have.  Once the bacteria "starts" the 40 degrees is not going to kill it, just let it sleep.  Bring it out to the counter - get around to reheating it - again may take longer than anticipated and let it "grow" a lttle more. yadda yadda yadda - think you catch my drift? 

It's a common warning for people to be extra careful with food safety during the warmer months.


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## Cheryl J

Steve Kroll said:


> In some ways, I'm fortunate. I live alone so I can make whatever I want for myself. There are no picky eaters in this house.
> 
> However, there are times I really do miss cooking for someone else. Especially when I feel like I've made something good and there's no one around to share it with.


 
My thoughts *exactly*, Steve. I've lived alone for quite some time now and enjoy the freedom of making what I want when I want it, but every now and then it would be nice to share a dish that I'm particularly proud of.


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## Steve Kroll

Cheryl J said:


> My thoughts *exactly*, Steve. I've lived alone for quite some time now and enjoy the freedom of making what I want when I want it, but every now and then it would be nice to share a dish that I'm particularly proud of.


Cheryl, if I'm ever in your area, I may just show up for dinner!


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## GotGarlic

dragnlaw said:


> I think perhaps what CakePoet was implying is that although people are usually pretty good about getting their food stored quickly and properly - perhaps in the summer or warmer times it might have been left out longer than it should have.



Well, if she was "implying" something like that, it wasn't clear. I certainly got no such impression.


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## Addie

Cheryl J said:


> My thoughts *exactly*, Steve. I've lived alone for quite some time now and enjoy the freedom of making what I want when I want it, but every now and then it would be nice to share a dish that I'm particularly proud of.



I still have Pirate living with me. Tonight, we both got into the kitchen. He wanted to learn how to make my meatloaf. It was an enjoyable time for both of us. Once he got it into the oven, setting the timer, etc. I stepped out. The rest was up to him. When he thought it was done, I got my supper served to me. We both enjoy that time spent together. But......

As a rule, I am not too fond of what he cooks for himself. Hot sauce if not hot pepper flakes. Octopus, squid. I don't care at all for canned mushrooms. Fresh only for me. He uses both. I am the picky eater in this house. I prefer my food plain. And cooked from scratch. I don't care very much for canned items. Typical New Englander. But as a guest in someone's home, or being treated to a meal at a restaurant, I keep my mouth shut and leave what I don't like on my plate. And please, do not offer me a mouthful of what you are eating. If it was a food I enjoyed, I would have it on my plate already. 

Before Pirate came here, there were many times I would want to cook a dish I really enjoyed, but no one to share it with. So I wouldn't make it. It is really hard to make a clam chowder for one. Or Mac and Cheese. Stews and  soups. Unless I get a request, I don't even think of desserts. Being a diabetic, I stay away from making any. Not even cookies. And I so do miss cooking for the holidays. Now I go to their homes instead. But always with a requested dish in tow. Along with a dessert. This year it will be a big bowl of stuffing and an apple pie. I am going to my daughter's home.


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## Cheryl J

Steve Kroll said:


> Cheryl, if I'm ever in your area, I may just show up for dinner!


 
Knock twice, I might be out back grillin'....!


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## Cooking Goddess

Steve Kroll said:


> ...However, there are times I really do miss cooking for someone else. Especially when I feel like I've made something good and there's no one around to share it with.


If you're ever in New England, just PM me for our address...


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## CWS4322

Dawgluver said:


> Awww.  CWS, sending you many hugs!  Wishing I could still cook for my parents.


Thanks, Dawg. Love that I do have the time to do this. I have to go back to Ontario to deal with my brother's estate between Thanksgiving and Christmas, but glad I am able to honor my brother by being with my parents.


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## di reston

I try to do quantities that are right for two plus Lucas if it's ok for him. I will only ever reheat food once, at most the day after, then it goes in the bin. I plan my meals on portions (boring, I know), but then I know that there's only ever one second time round, if at all. Today I did mac'n cheese, which OH adores, so he can finish it off tonight, if he doesn't, tomorrow it goes in the trash can.

di reston


Enough is never as good as a feast     Oscar Wilde

ps op went ok. Thank you all for your well wishes.


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## Lauraalice

No i dont make anything special like two different meals. I make one meal. If i know he cant eat something like pork (kills his stomach) I never even bring it home. I of course love to surprise him w some of his favorite meals but we eat it together. If its a meal i dont like but he loves I never make it. It sounds bad i guess typing it out but my job is to get groceries and have meals ready for him when he gets home.  Of course he doesn’t make me but thats the least i can do for him. Plus i love cooking & he eats it all up. Maybe op you can switch to every other time on adding noodles and peas to it?


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## blissful

Lauraalice said:


> If its a meal i dont like but he loves I never make it.


Hm.....WOW!
So this is just a job to you, you make and buy what you like. Even employers usually expect some accommodation for things they like or dislike.


Do you work in a prison or something? Those prisoners must deserve some punishment.





> Maybe op you can switch to every other time on adding noodles and peas to it?




I prefer to make him meals he loves and I prefer to make myself meals I love, then everyone is happy with small adjustments. And everyone feels loved.


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## Addie

I can hardly say at one time I was very wealthy and could buy any grocery item I pleased. But I shopped for the family of six. Six different likes and dislikes. I always tried to have two sides of veggies. That way everyone got at least one in them. Some like carrots, others not so. They got peas instead. And the lucky ones who would eat anything got two veggies. Now I am the only one who loves onions smothering a nice tender piece of liver. I also have chronic iron deficiency. So I needed to eat it at least once a week. I didn't force anyone else to eat it. I just cooked something else for them. 

My first husband was a trained professional chef. He trained in some of the most prestigious cooking academies in Europe. We had an unspoken agreement between us. I will only cook foods for him that I knew he liked. And he is return paid me the same compliment. When he got into the kitchen, he liked to cook the foods of India. And my two oldest boys also loved it. No thanks! I can make something for myself and the girls. 

Cooking for your husband or family should be a time of joy. You are creating sustenance for those you love. Many nights I cooked more than just one meal for the whole family. I learned to cook at my mothers side when I was growing up. She would often cook something just for my father, and something different for me, my sister and herself. My mother never questioned it. It was what she did because she loved her family.


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## JustJoel

blissful said:


> Sometimes I make food for DH because I want him to be happy and to feel loved. This might be something I won't eat at all.
> 
> He wants me to make him some 'goulash with peas', which his mom made when he was growing up. I won't eat it because it has pasta in it and it has peas in it and those peas don't seem to belong in there. It is hamburger, onion, tomato sauce, macaroni and peas.
> 
> When I make chili, which he likes, he wants it with macaroni in it. Since he eats dinner on 2nd shift without me, I don't mind adding the macaroni to the meals I make him. His mom made it that way.
> 
> Do you make meals for the sake of love? I don't really mind. I just won't eat it.


I cook for my husband. He’s a rather picky eater with a very mundane palate. His family is all from OK, so he prefers good ol’ “American” standards. Biscuits and gravy, chicken fried steak (with gravy), pot roast (no deviation from classic pot roast allowed!), also with, you guessed it, gravy. He does like Italian food, as long as it’s not spicy, so I’ve got some wiggle room to be creative there. Virtually no seafood is acceptable, except clams, snow or king crab, and lobster. He’s really lucky that I’m currently on a basically liquid diet! I still make more exotic stuff for myself, as long as the dish involves minimum chewing, lol. That’s why I’m making dhal for lunch. And I can handle pasta, too, as long as it passed “al dente” about 5 minutes ago!

Every menu I plan, every dish I prepare is made either because _I_ like it or want to try it, or I’m making it out of love for the person or people I’m making it for. My most supreme pleasure is watching the people I love enjoy the food I prepared for them. Their contented sighs (if I’ve done a good job) are the only praise or thanks I need. I usually feel obliged to thank _them_ for the opportunity to cook for them!


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## JustJoel

jabbur said:


> DH likes liver and onions.  I can't swallow liver.  Texture thing it kind of stuck in my throat going down and I have to "get rid of it" fast.  That's the only thing he likes that I refuse to cook.  When we married he hated anything with pepper. Black, green, red, yellow was a no-go.  Anything spicy hot was off the table also.  He's gotten better.  I can use them in recipes if they are diced fine enough that they get the flavor without the chunks.  He loves onions. I can tolerate them but often raw onions upset my stomach.  I love mushrooms, he can't stand them.  I can sneak Campbell's cream of mushroom soup into some recipes.  I'll sometimes make sauteed onions in one pan and sauteed mushrooms in another for on top of steaks and burgers.  In general, he eats what I cook now.  There's rarely a time when I cook different meals for us.


Haha! Mark has NO IDEA how many times I’ve added a few shakes of fish sauce to his meals! The first time I brought some home, it actually led to an argument! I also sneak Ali no Moto (MSG) into a few of the Japanese dishes I make. He’s quite sure he’s sensitive to it, but he only has a “reaction” if he knows there’s MSG in it.


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## blissful

JustJoel said:


> My most supreme pleasure is watching the people I love enjoy the food I prepared for them. Their contented sighs (if I’ve done a good job) are the only praise or thanks I need. I usually feel obliged to thank _them_ for the opportunity to cook for them!




I feel that way too. Three weeks ago my DS got a new job, and I was so proud of him. So when he got home his first day, we had venison steaks, mushrooms and onions, and baked potatoes for a treat. On his birthday, for two years now he wanted for his dessert, a boston cream pie, which I loved making for him, but I don't care for cake much. I had a bite, just to make sure I didn't mess it up in my recipe. 



I do love having the opportunity to cook for those I love. I especially like cooking for those that don't care to cook, it is such fun and it is creative and I'm in my zone. A cleaned up kitchen (by myself) is usually all I need to get my creative cooking juices flowing.


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## JustJoel

Dawgluver said:


> Awww.  CWS, sending you many hugs!  Wishing I could still cook for my parents.


You just made me cry, a little bit. I wish I could still cook for my mom and dad, too. They loved everything I made, even if I burned it, or oversalted it. The only time my dad complained was if it had even a hint of heat. Even then he’d say “Very good, Joel, but it was a bit sharp.” “Sharp” was his word for spicy.

Lord, I miss them so very much


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## JustJoel

*Cooking for others*

I really don’t like to cook for myself. If Mark isn’t eating, I’ll usually end up just heating a can of soup, or making some ramen. Cooking for other people is my satisfaction. 

But I don’t want to cook in a restaurant setting; you never get to see the people enjoying their meals, there’s no interaction, and it’s a very high-paced, stressful work environment. I’d love to be a personal home cook. I can go to a family’s home, shop, prepare (even serve), and then clean up. It’s a lot of work, I know, but it would be so, well, satisfying (I’d also be making lots of $$ to do it!)


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## buckytom

One of the things that I love about my wife is that she is an adventurous eater, and we so often happen to like the same foods the same exact way. It really is something special after almost 26 years together. You'd think there would be more differences, just naturally.
We rarely have a food or dish we like that the other won't eat.

Well, my wife doesn't eat everything that I do if it is particularly unhealthy, but I know she wants some so I make sure to have a little extra for those "I just want a bite".


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