# Ever feel like a snob...



## PastaKing (Mar 9, 2008)

Do you ever feel like a snob when a friend invites you over for dinner? We have these friends who can't cook. They invite my wife and I over for diner, but it's always boxed food, or out of a microwave, or worse, jar pasta sauce or jar Alfrado sauce. This one time they tried to cook chicken but it was so dry!

They are coming over tomorrow for dinner. I can't help but think now they feel like they need to have US over.


I feel like such a snob. I talk to my wife about it, but she just laughs. 
You guys ever feel this way?


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## MexicoKaren (Mar 9, 2008)

I don't know that I would call it snobbery, but it amazes me how many of my women friends do not cook. Let me add that I am of retirement age, and many of my female contemporaries burned their cookbooks along with their bras in the 70s. They came of age somehow believing that learning to cook was giving in to some male chauvinist plot. NOT - learning to cook is a prerequisite for EATING. (Let me also add that I am proud to call myself a feminist, and I spent my pre-retirement life in a high-powered profession.) But I love to eat, and I love to cook. Most of our friends eat out several times a week because they simply can't cook. They enjoy coming over to our house to eat because it is usually the best food they have eaten in awhile. I guess I do sound a little like a snob after all...oops.


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## Maverick2272 (Mar 9, 2008)

I don't think it is being a snob, if the food aint good then it just aint good. But maybe another angle might be to suggest a group cooking situation where you all get together and cook the meal together.
This way you might 'teach' them a thing or two about cooking hopefully, which in turn might improve their food and get them more enthusiastic about cooking.


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## PastaKing (Mar 9, 2008)

Maverick2272 said:


> I don't think it is being a snob, if the food aint good then it just aint good. But maybe another angle might be to suggest a group cooking situation where you all get together and cook the meal together.
> This way you might 'teach' them a thing or two about cooking hopefully, which in turn might improve their food and get them more enthusiastic about cooking.


 
Good idea, but when I cook, I cook alone. That is MY area, and I don't teach unless they ask.

gee......I AM a snob


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## Fisher's Mom (Mar 9, 2008)

Sadly, until this last year, I _was_ the friend who couldn't cook. But at least I knew it and generally, if I had people to dinner I would pick up the main course from a restaurant and supplement with fresh fruits, salads and the like (stuff I couldn't screw up). I also have some friends who I had a great arrangement with - I would buy the food (whatever they specified), they would cook, and I would do _all_ the clean up. It worked great and happily, now I can even cook for _them_.


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## Barbara L (Mar 9, 2008)

One of my friends can't cook, and when we have eaten at her house (generally boxed stuff), she is so apologetic the whole time that I just appreciate the effort she does make.  And when I go home I thank God that my mom was a great cook and taught me how. 

Barbara


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## Fisher's Mom (Mar 9, 2008)

Barbara L said:


> One of my friends can't cook, and when we have eaten at her house (generally boxed stuff), she is so apologetic the whole time that I just appreciate the effort she does make.  And when I go home I thank God that my mom was a great cook and taught me how.
> 
> Barbara


I knew I liked you, Barbara!


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## miniman (Mar 9, 2008)

This is why I enjoy the cooking lessons I do for teenagers. My major aim is that they are equipped to go out on their own and at least have a basic knowledge of cooking. Especially when they are students & young adults on a tight budget.

I go out to friends as much for the company as anything else. The food may not be great but the company is. We also have a reputation for our meals so no one turns down an invite from us.


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## Claire (Mar 9, 2008)

Oh, yes.  Most of my friends love to cook, but occasionally I have been invited to dinner as you describe.  Now I have to tell you, I'm a big believer in short cuts when they are available.  I cannot pretend to make everything from scratch.  But mostly I feel sorry for those I know who only can open a can and can't quite figure out a new microwave oven (hey, I just bought a new one and am learnin different times myself).

I really pity people who cannot take care of themselves, be it cooking a decent meal, sewing on a button, or for pity's sake, bathing any thing in their house (to include your own body, your spouse's when you get that old, your dogs and cats)


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## auntdot (Mar 9, 2008)

Gosh PK, you have opened up a can of worms for me.

Toss any of us into a wilderness and the two things we will try to find are shelter and food. Those are the fundamental issues of life.

Cooking, and eating meals together, as a family or group, was a custom until recently.

My sister and I were not taught to cook, we learned from watching Mom and Pop.

Now there is day care and places like that.

And Mom and Dad bring in take out.

How children today can learn the most basic of survival skills, i.e. cooking, I have no idea.

I hope I am over reacting.


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## LadyCook61 (Mar 9, 2008)

I learned to cook by watching my mom , I taught my sons to cook , in fact they are better cooks than their wives.  not being biased .    Even hubby agrees.


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## JGDean (Mar 9, 2008)

My mother hated to cook. My sister and I both liked it. Part of the conditions of getting spending money growing up was cooking dinner for the family as my mother worked outside the home. My grandma was an excellent cook although growing up in WVa she added bacon fat to nearly everything. I learned to cook by reading and trial and error. Two things I learned: cumin is not good in tuna salad and Mashed Potatoes do not come out well in a food processor unless you like eating wall paper glue.


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## middie (Mar 9, 2008)

Pk why don't you suggest a potluck next time they invite you over ?


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## Andy M. (Mar 9, 2008)

SO's sister is in the, "Can't cook, don't want to cook, won't cook" category.  We eat before we go for a visit and agree we don't go there for the food.  It's not so bad.  We just don't accept invitations for holidays.  We went there for Thanksgiving one year and learned our lesson.


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## sparrowgrass (Mar 9, 2008)

Sometimes, its the company and not the food.  Better a frozen pizza served with laughter than a stuffy, solemn, boring 6 course gourmet meal.  

I have a few friends who don't cook, but just being together is enough.  Accept the hospitality, and go home and have a sandwich if you are still hungry.


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## love2"Q" (Mar 9, 2008)

i do not like to think of it as snobbery .. but .. 
usually when invited to friends it is a cook out of some kind ...
the burgers are always burnt on the outside and raw in the center ..
why people think bbq sauce is something you must put on a chicken
leg or thigh before it even touches the grill is beyond me .. it comes out 
the same as the burgers ..  i like to look at it as being safe rather than 
being a snob .. but the best was going to my sisters for dinner one night 
and she made a roasted chicken .. it had this strange square spot burned 
into it .. it was the giblet pack .. she never took it out .. 
maybe i am a snob ..


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## amber (Mar 9, 2008)

love2"Q" said:


> i do not like to think of it as snobbery .. but ..
> usually when invited to friends it is a cook out of some kind ...
> the burgers are always burnt on the outside and raw in the center ..
> why people think bbq sauce is something you must put on a chicken
> ...



Oh my gosh you have me in stitches here reading about the giblet pack   I literally have tears running down my cheeks, thanks for the laugh!

To answer the question, I don't think it's snobby really.  I liked middie suggestion of a potluck, but don't touch their pot  Just kidding.  I also think it would be fun for everyone to cook together, maybe come up with a theme menu like Mexican night or Italian night.


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## texasgirl (Mar 9, 2008)

I look at it this way. They are offering you something. It isn't costing you anything but time spent with friends. Who cares about the food. Have a good time together. When they come to your house, make something easy, but savory and without being obvious, let them see how you prep your food and cook it. Say something like, I love this dish, it's easy and doesn't take long. This will give them ideas and maybe, one of the times you go there, they will have been inspired them.


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## kitchenelf (Mar 9, 2008)

Barbara L said:


> One of my friends can't cook, and when we have eaten at her house (generally boxed stuff), she is so apologetic the whole time that I just appreciate the effort she does make.  And when I go home I thank God that my mom was a great cook and taught me how.
> 
> Barbara



GEEZ - I'll do better next time! 

It is a fine line between snobbery and ............ok, I can't think of another word so I guess you're a snob (and sometimes I'm there with you).

I'm lucky - my friends have "caught" my love for cooking.  We have spent many an evening in my kitchen cooking.  People just don't realize how easy it is to cook from scratch.  Maybe if they see you prepare some of it they will be inspired.

Just "do your stuff" and maybe they will catch on.  Enjoy their company when you go over there - they are doing the best they can.  It's a moment in time.


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## karenlyn (Mar 9, 2008)

I wouldn't call it outright snobbery, either... but I do feel a little superior (not in a judgemental way-- just in a "hey, aren't I special" way) when, at a friend's house for dinner, I see that almost everything comes from a jar or can.  I don't cook like that, and it's a little ego boost to know that I do something special --actually cook-- that most people I know do not.  Even if they're people I love. :P

-Karen


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## Barbara L (Mar 9, 2008)

kitchenelf said:


> GEEZ - I'll do better next time! ...


Oops!  I didn't think you would look in here! 

If I ever get the chance to cook for you, I am sure I will be apologizing all over the place!  I know you've heard this a lot, but you are a great cook!

Barbara


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## Barbara L (Mar 9, 2008)

kitchenelf said:


> ...People just don't realize how easy it is to cook from scratch...


This is so true.  In fact, someone gave me a box of Hamburger Helper one time, and the number of steps it required were ridiculous.  I thought, it is easier to cook from scratch (for the most part) and a whole lot healthier and tastier!  And some of the best tasting things are the easiest. It doesn't come much easier than a home made pecan pie, but people assume it is hard.  

Barbara


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## fireweaver (Mar 9, 2008)

hmmm, i think i might be a snob, considering how amazed i am at all the processed packaged stuff overflowing some people's pantries.  my pantry is pretty compact, but my fridge/freezer is overflowing with fruit, veggies, garlic, meats...  but then again, my friends who *don't* like to cook never have people over at their houses.  they tend to suggest meeting up at a restaurant instead.  my friends that DO like to cook though, are all spectacular at it, so there's a constantly moving feast from one house to the other on the weekends.

with this group of people, themed potlucks are ALWAYS a super idea, but with novices, it can be intimidating (i.e., "oh, no, my enchiladas are side by side with his tostones!!").  why not a group cooking party?  have everyone bring the raw ingredients and help prep together, or at least chat over cocktails in the kitchen while you're doing it all.  sort of like teaching/inspiring without the lecture part.


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## Bilby (Mar 10, 2008)

I'm going over to a friend's place for a BBQ next Sunday.  I'll see how snobby I am then!!  Last time I went to a BBQ, it was charcoal.  Haven't even worked out what meat I am taking. I have been dancing between preparing something (which would make me look snobby!) and just rocking up with some sausages. I'm going to take a snobby salad - baby bocconcini, grape tomatoes, red onion, Kalatata olives with a balsamic vinegar dressing.  Doesn't sound snobby here but it will be to my friends who are really not foodies by any stretch of the imagination.


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## lyndalou (Mar 10, 2008)

I just go for the fellowship. It ccan't be that bad, and who hasn't opened up a jar of spaghetti sauce on occasion? I love my friends and appreciate any hospitality that they offer.


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## radhuni (Mar 10, 2008)

It is a latest fashion India that educated women always like to show that they can't cook (or they really can't). 

I really feel snob becuase I  can prepare many traditional dishes, that are following the path to extinction


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## PanchoHambre (Mar 10, 2008)

Growing up in an ethnically Italian food was alway important and always homemade. This type of home cooking was taken for granted.

In college exploring the vast types of ethnic foods with friends and cooking for eachother expanded my horizons of food beyond my traditional family background to asian latino and southern tastes.

I am not a great cook but I enjoy cooking and experimenting with new foods. I also enjoy sharing food. It is important to me.

But it is not imortant to everyone. Cooking should be about joy not obligation. If a friend or family member who hates cooking invites me over I would rather they order out or open a jar than spend time doing something they hate.

My favorite Aunt is a horrible cook. She just hates doing it. When I visit (they live on the beach so it is often) I either just enjoy the company and tolerate the food or man the grill and share my enjoyment of cooking with them.


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## Chief Longwind Of The North (Mar 10, 2008)

It's snobbery if you look down your nose at someone who can't do something you can do.  But if you are an accomplished cook, and your freinds aren't, and they invite you to dinner to "dine" on a Kraft Spaghetti kit supper, and you eat it, enjoying the company and hospitality, then you are not a snob.  Knowing you can cook better than another isn't by itself snobbery.  It's a fact of life.  But throwing it in someone's face that their food skills are less than yours, then you cross the line into snobbery.

Should I try to make my food as good as I can, every time i prepare it, yes.  That's the standard I set for myself.  Should I try to make it the best I can for others when I go to a pot luck or to a relatives home for a holiday meal, again, the answer is a resounding yes, as long as I'm doing it to give my best to them, not to show off.  And they will know the difference, usually.

The problem with being a very good cook is that others tend to try to impress you with their own skills, whether they have them or not.  No one wants to feel that they are less than someone else, and often times let their own pride get in the way of something that could have simply been a good meal shared by everyone.  If that is the case, then you are not being a snob.  It is the other person's insecurity that is causing them to feel you are a snob.

I have been called a music snob, and a food snob by people.  I can't help the music I like, and I don't force it on others.  It's what I play in my home or car for my enjoyment.  I give the same freedom to others.  So am I really a music snob?  I don't think so.  And it's the same with food.  I make far better turkeys than does my older sister.  So for thanksgiving, I cook the turkey and let her make the stuffing, telling her that she makes better stuffing than I do (not true, but it makes her feel good).  She also makes lime/pineapple/cream cheese salad that is wonderful.  I give her full marks for that.  Again, it allows her to shine a bit.

So, there are ways to help those who aren't so great around the kitchen shine.  For instance, go over to your freinds house exclaiming that you just learned a new recipe for, say, a fruit smoothie, or some other thing that you almost can't mess up.  Teach them how to make it.  Adn when the next meal comes along, request it from them.  Do this with several dishes and suddenly, the "I can't cook" crowd becomes the "I make the best smoothies in the neighborhood" crowd.

Cooking is something that is learned over time, and usually with the help of others.  Be the mentor/freind and help your freinds who want to learn.  For those that don't want to learn, well, order take-out from your local chinese restaurant.

Knowing how to do something well doesn't make you a snob.  Tooting your own horn does.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


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## Yakuta (Mar 10, 2008)

As Goodweed stated go and enjoy company and not judge the food.  Everyone has their own standards and I also have high standards when I prepare the food at my place.  I don't judge others however and go with the flow or eat little bites and politely turn down things I don't like. 

The thing that does drive me crazy are people who invite but don't put in any effort.  There are  many people like that who just invite to return a favor (perhaps they came to your place several times).  They put together some ill perpared thing and feed you.  I still try to be polite and next time I go there I learn from my previous experience and feed my kids and family before we go.


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## jpmcgrew (Mar 10, 2008)

I dont think I'm a food snob especially if they are really trying. If they want advice I'm happy to give it to them. What I really dislike is someone who really can't cook or grill and yet think they are the greatests cooks in the world so hard to watch and keep my mouth shut as they don't think you might know a better way. 
Just last weekend a friend flew in from California to spend 3 days learning Northern New Mexican ( and to visit with DH) he was totally into it. I don't use recipes so I taught him how each dish tasted from beginning to end and how how to flavor as we go to get it just right. He learned how to make Carne Adovada, Posole, Red and Green Chili, Beans, Tostadas, Burritos, Enchiladas and Sopaipillas. I also explained all the variations you can make with each dish. He wants to come back this summer to learn more. Made me feel really good someone really wanted to learn and actually soaked it all in.


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## Chief Longwind Of The North (Mar 10, 2008)

jpmcgrew said:


> I dont think I'm a food snob especially if they are really trying. If they want advice I'm happy to give it to them. What I really dislike is someone who really can't cook or grill and yet think they are the greatests cooks in the world so hard to watch and keep my mouth shut as they don't think you might know a better way.
> Just last weekend a friend flew in from California to spend 3 days learning Northern New Mexican ( and to visit with DH) he was totally into it. I don't use recipes so I taught him how each dish tasted from beginning to end and how how to flavor as we go to get it just right. He learned how to make Carne Adovada, Posole, Red and Green Chili, Beans, Tostadas, Burritos, Enchiladas and Sopaipillas. I also explained all the variations you can make with each dish. He wants to come back this summer to learn more. Made me feel really good someone really wanted to learn and actually soaked it all in.



I make a pretty good carne Asada, and good chili, both green and red.  Beans, Tostadas, Burritos, and Enchiladas are also things I make. But I have never had teh opportunity to try Sopaipillas, Posole, or Carne Advovada.  Care to share?  And even with the things I can make, I'm eager to learn new recipes for the same.  Maybe we can do a recipe swap.  I can make almost anything I set my mind to. from pastries, pies, cakes, and deserts of all kinds, to tempura chicken balls, to Phillipino Lumpia.  Let me know what you want to learn.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


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## mikki (Mar 10, 2008)

Most of my friends can cook great, and know I'm not the greatest cook, so when I invite them for dinner I usually give them a choice of the stuff I can cook and if they say whatever is fine, I always tell them they don't know what they are getting into when they say that. I always make the joke first so people never expect a gourmet meal.


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## Constance (Mar 10, 2008)

I am a very good cook, but I still rely on jarred or boxed things sometimes to make life easier for me. It used to be because I was busy, and now it's because I'm crippled up. 
Anyway, One night, when I had a "friend" and her daughter over for dinner, I pulled out a box of au gratin potatoes, and she laughed and ridiculed me until I finally told her that if she didn't like it, she could just go home.


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## mikki (Mar 10, 2008)

Most of the time no one would know the difference unless they saw you open the boxes or jars.  I add stuff to everything so it never tastes like it's boxed.


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## Barbara L (Mar 10, 2008)

Constance said:


> ...Anyway, One night, when I had a "friend" and her daughter over for dinner, I pulled out a box of au gratin potatoes, and she laughed and ridiculed me until I finally told her that if she didn't like it, she could just go home.


Good for you!!!  She should have been ashamed of herself.

Barbara


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## Katie H (Mar 10, 2008)

For 30 years Buck and I lived in and around Washington, D.C.  There was no end of good restaurants and we were surrounded by neighbors and friends who were wonderful cooks.

One of our long-time next door neighbors was one of the most accomplished cooks I have ever met.  She was like having a culinary school right in my lap.  I learned volumes from her and still have stacks and stacks of recipes she gave me.  She inspired me to be adventuresome in my cooking and, as a result, there's very little I won't attempt in the kitchen.  I have had my share of flubs, which can be directly traced to my "thinking" I knew what I was doing when I was preparing the dish.  Fewer boo-boos now with experience.  I've been cooking for over 40 years.  I'd better have learned something after that much time.

We left D.C. 14 years ago and moved to a very rural part of western Kentucky.  There are a lot of really good cooks here, too.  However, they are simply "basic" country cooks who stick mainly to tried-and-true recipes.  Very little adventure in their cooking and they seldom stray from what they've always cooked.

I've met ladies here who wouldn't think of adding ripe olives to a dish and think authentic Tex-Mex food comes from Taco Bell.  The offspring of these ladies more often than not don't cook anything.  More likely it's something boxed out of the freezer section of the market, take-out or going to mom's to see what she's having.

Don't misunderstand, I truly enjoy the food that is served here, but I can only take deep-fried "X" so many times or something slathered with cream gravy.  These are all delicious, but in small doses for Buck and me and we're certainly not going to breate these cooks for their style.  It is what they know and are comfortable with.

We live in the land of the potluck, which could also be called "here's my best dish" meal.  These functions are always filled with THE best dishes of all the presenters.  I love them and when I am asked to bring a dish, I try to introduce something a _little_ different and have always been well-received.  One of the reasons I do this is that I'm not a country cook and couldn't in my wildest dreams compete with any of those here.

I love to cook and share recipes and any help/knowledge with anyone who asks, but I won't push or force anything on anyone.  

There is, we've discovered, a group of folks who will "play" in the kitchen like Buck and I do and we have a blast when we get together  to cook together.  We have a lot of fun trying/tasting new things and learning what is "icky" and what is yummy.

Well, I've gone on but I want to add/endorse something others have stated.  Regardless of what is served, when invited to a friend's home for a meal, I primarily go for the fellowship.  The food is secondary, be it tasty or mediocre.

Food comes and goes.  There's nothing like a good, lasting dose of friendship!


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## babetoo (Mar 10, 2008)

*company for dinner*

i have found that while people are eager to come to my house for a meal. by and large they don't invite me for dinner. i do have a granddaughter that tries to have people over. while she is cooking she asks me many questions,. mostly just basics that i take for granted. she wants to learn. 

my son only does the bbq bit. he keeps it very simple. he cooks meat but all side dishes are store bought. it works for him. my daughter is a fair everyday cook. but never uses seasoning. 

they really don't want to learn anymore than they already know. oh well guess i am a snob sometimes but try not to say anything mean.


babe


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## sattie (Mar 10, 2008)

I am always thrilled to be invited over for dinner, does not happen to much in my life, so I always value the opportunity.  If they can cook or not is just icing on the cake to me.  If they can cook, great for me, great company, great food.  If they can't cook, no biggie, great company, and I get to go home and eat that chocolate cake that I have been saving!!!!


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## VeraBlue (Mar 10, 2008)

I debated whether to respond to this or not...but, it is a discussion board, and we are discussing...so..

Let me preface with saying I'm not judging how you feel..  You feel how you feel, plain and simple.  What I find hard to swallow is that you sound displeased that your friends, who simply want to entertain you,  are serving you out of a box or the microwave.  Regardless of what is being served or offered, how can you have such disdain for friends?  How can you be anything less than gracious and complimentary towards their generosity?  Kitchen skill and disposable income vary from person to person, and couple to couple.  Most people give from the heart in good faith.  The post, in general, disturbs me because you seem to feel you should be better entertained.

You always have the option of not accepting their invitations.  

I don't know that being a snob is a good way to describe your behaviour.  Certainly, no, to answer your question, have I ever done that.


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## Andy M. (Mar 10, 2008)

I see nothing wrong with acknowledging you can cook better than a friend or family member.  That's not being a snob, just an observation.  I didn't catch anyone letting their friends know how they felt.  They are just venting here.  

We all still accept invitations and have a great time with these folks, we just don't enjoy the food.  That's not to say we don't enjoy their company and appreciate the invitation.


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## Chief Longwind Of The North (Mar 10, 2008)

VB;  I am a better cook than most of my freinds.  As stated earlier, that's jsut an observation born of experience.  I also stated that I don't hold others to the same cooking standards that I hold myself to.  I don't complain about their cooking and am truly thanksful to eat whatever is put before me, be it a humble potted-meat sandwich, or a perfectly prepared pasta dinner.  The only time I'm critical of food is when I go to a restaurant and pay for it.  My response is still courteous as the wait staff isn't responsible for bad food.  I just don't go there again if I don't like the food.

I have eaten burnt rabbit, overcooked on a spit over an open fire when camping with freinds and we all still had a heck of a time.  On the other hand, there was an individual that messed with my cooking fire as I was roasting chikens for a group of young men.  His meddling left us with chicken burnt on the outside and raw in the middle.  I did command him to stay away from my fire.

There is a time to be critical, and a time to be gracious.  To know that I can cook better than another doesn't mean that I am a snob.  It just means that I know I have a further knowledge of a prticular skill.  It's the same as knowing that I can maintain and operate telephone systems, or given the right tools, troubleshoot electronic circuits to the componant level.  It doesn't make me a snob to be able to do these things.  It just makes me well trained and experienced.

Cooking is a skill based upon knowledge and experience, like any other.  We all ahve apptitudes for certain skills, while lacking aptitudes in others.  Cooking came easily for me, while math had to be worked at ferociously.  It's the way my brain was built.  I wish I could paint or sculpt or builld as well as I can cook.  I wish I was a genius at piano, or organ, or guitar.  But I'm not.  

To appreciate your skills is to be able to improve them.  To understand that we all have strengths, weaknesses and varying degrees of both is to be humble, teachable.  I am a very accomplished cook.  But there are those on this site who put my skills to shame.

And as said, just knowing that ones skill is greater than another's, is not in itself snobbery.  How that knowledge is used determines whether or not one is a snob.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


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## VeraBlue (Mar 10, 2008)

Goodweed of the North said:


> VB;  I am a better cook than most of my freinds.  As stated earlier, that's jsut an observation born of experience.  I also stated that I don't hold others to the same cooking standards that I hold myself to.  I don't complain about their cooking and am truly thanksful to eat whatever is put before me, be it a humble potted-meat sandwich, or a perfectly prepared pasta dinner.  The only time I'm critical of food is when I go to a restaurant and pay for it.  My response is still courteous as the wait staff isn't responsible for bad food.  I just don't go there again if I don't like the food.
> 
> I have eaten burnt rabbit, overcooked on a spit over an open fire when camping with freinds and we all still had a heck of a time.  On the other hand, there was an individual that messed with my cooking fire as I was roasting chikens for a group of young men.  His meddling left us with chicken burnt on the outside and raw in the middle.  I did command him to stay away from my fire.
> 
> ...



Not disagreeing with you at all, my friend.   My point was that I could never criticize my friends, even in jest, about something they may have prepared for me.


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## Chief Longwind Of The North (Mar 10, 2008)

VeraBlue said:


> Not disagreeing with you at all, my friend. My point was that I could never criticize my friends, even in jest, about something they may have prepared for me.



I'll agree with that.  Well, maybe I'd complain if they put boiled earthworms in front of me.  I mean, we have to have standards.

Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


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## jpmcgrew (Mar 10, 2008)

Goodweed of the North said:


> I make a pretty good carne Asada, and good chili, both green and red. Beans, Tostadas, Burritos, and Enchiladas are also things I make. But I have never had teh opportunity to try Sopaipillas, Posole, or Carne Advovada. Care to share? And even with the things I can make, I'm eager to learn new recipes for the same. Maybe we can do a recipe swap. I can make almost anything I set my mind to. from pastries, pies, cakes, and deserts of all kinds, to tempura chicken balls, to Phillipino Lumpia. Let me know what you want to learn.
> 
> Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


 I would be happy to share but I don't have any real written recipes except for the sopaipillas. So I guess you will need to fly out as well.  Maybe I should write down what I do and get the measurements then test out recipe. Sure would make things alot easier.


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## Constance (Mar 10, 2008)

mikki said:


> Most of the time no one would know the difference unless they saw you open the boxes or jars.  I add stuff to everything so it never tastes like it's boxed.



So true. I love to cook, but I have reached a point in my life where I have only so much strength, and if I can take a short cut without sacrificing taste, I will do it. 

My friends don't seem to mind. In fact, they brag on my cooking...as long as they don't see the box.


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## PastaKing (Mar 10, 2008)

auntdot said:


> Gosh PK, you have opened up a can of worms for me.
> 
> Toss any of us into a wilderness and the two things we will try to find are shelter and food. Those are the fundamental issues of life.
> 
> ...


 

No, I think you are right on. As for my family, we sit down each night and eat together. It never fails, when we sit down the phone rings, and it is always one of my daughters friends. I say it each night 
"don't they sit down and eat dinner?". 

In this world we live in now, we have more crime and teens getting into drugs and gangs then ever before. I really think that family time is the reason. We need to get back to the days of a parent at home whne the kids come home from school, family dinner, church on Sunday, and family night out. But how can they? The cost of living has gone up. This goverment has made it that way. Thsi si why I'm running for President...........ah.........wait a sec............


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## Chief Longwind Of The North (Mar 10, 2008)

jpmcgrew said:


> I would be happy to share but I don't have any real written recipes except for the sopaipillas. So I guess you will need to fly out as well. Maybe I should write down what I do and get the measurements then test out recipe. Sure would make things alot easier.



That's what I had to do to make my cookbooks, quantify everything.  It was quite a task.  But, it can be done, and then you can share your recipes and techniques.  And that's a very good thing.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North


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## darlenemt08 (Mar 11, 2008)

Just be happy you've been invited to your friends' place for a meal.  Enjoy the visit.  Then when they come to your house, show them a little bit about preparing food from scratch. Share a few tips about what you do with certain foods.

My sister & I do have boxed food and jars of sauces in our cupboards.  Every once in awhile, a box of Hamburger Helper or Tuna Helper is faster & easier to fix.  I don't make boxed foods too often but it's there when I need it.  The Helper boxes aren't made for company, only when our mom & dad come.  I like making cake mixes instead of making cakes from scratch.  I've only got a one chocolate cake recipe that I make from scratch. Other than that, I haven't found a good cake recipe for other cakes for me to make yet. I use cake mixes in various recipes.  I like making boxed cornbread but when I don't have it, I make it from scratch by using bacon grease in it.  Refrigerated biscuits & crescent rolls are usually in our fridge, except they've rarely been bought since early Dec.

I've spent a lot of time in our kitchen since I quit my job last July.  Since Dec., I've really spent so much time in there making all sorts of things. I now make bread which I hadn't done since the late 1980's or early 1990's. I now make wheat bread, wheat biscuits, and have found a recipe for wheat crescent rolls. With my sister working 12-hr. days 5 - 6 days each week, I try to make sure she's got plenty of food for 2 meals and, possibly some leftover for the day after. My casseroles are made from scratch. I've added my own stuff to boxed food and jar of sauces to give them my own touch. My soups are made from scratch.  My puddings are made from a box but but my graham cracker & pastry shells are made from scratch.  I don't have any homemade pudding recipes, except a butterscotch recipe.

I'm a great cook and my sister's friends envy her 'cause she's got her own personal cook.  Many of them are good cooks but they don't have the time to cook due to their long work schedules.

When I was growing up, my mom was a stay-at-home mom. She did all of the cooking until my oldest sister was a teenager and learned how to cook.  I only learned how to make cookies & cakes when I was a teenager. I chose not to take cooking classes during high school. In my senior year, I had a Home Ec study hall and it was then that I learned how to cook. I wrote up my schedule each week and I picked out the recipes that I wanted to make. One of my recipes used a pressure cooker.  The teacher told me that I may as well learn to use one and not be afraid of it.  She gave me the instruction book to read. It was one of the best things I learned from cooking that semester. My mom is deaf in one ear and wears a hearing aid in the other. She would never use a pressure cooker 'cause she couldn't hear the whistle too well.  Also she was afraid to use one due to all of the stories about people getting hurt from them...people not using them right and they've exploded.  Now many years later, I've got my own pressure cooker and I like using it.  After my sister & I moved out of our mom & dad's house 21 yrs. ago, she did most of the cooking but taught me how to cook a little. I'd call our mom to ask how to cook certain things.  Then I learned to cook for my various babysitting kids for 17 yrs.  Thanks to my former cafe job, my cooking experience became better.  My mom's a great cook but she doesn't experiment with things like I do. So, she likes to eat my cooking 'cause it's different than what she makes.  My mom's mom was a excellent cook!  My mom's sisters are also great cooks and I've learned from them along with my 2 older sisters.  My dad's sisters & sil's can't/couldn't cook too well and the same with a few of his late aunts.  There was never enough food at the family reunion on his side of the family...haven't had a family reunion since the early 1990's.  My mom's family fills 3 long tables with great food every year.  I've got aunts on both sides of the family who can't fry chicken too well and so, there's always under-cooked chicken.  UGH! I'm not perfect at frying chicken pieces (legs & etc.) but since I've worked at the cafe, I've learned about using a thermometer and use that for cooking my meats, casseroles, & etc. My chicken, pork chops, & steaks are now cooked till the correct doneness.

I like sharing my cooking ideas & tips with our family & friends or, even strangers I meet somewhere, such as a grocery store.  I like talking food talk with others. Sharing recipes is fun and every time I take a new food item to my mom's side family reunion, I have to take copies of my recipes to share. 

I know of people who can't cook too well. I just eat what I like or can (have chocolate & tomato allergies but can eat a little sometimes). Depending on whom I'm visiting, I try to enjoy the visit or, count down to the time when I plan to leave.  After I leave, then I talk to my sister or whomever about the food, whether good or bad.  When my sister & I go somewhere, we usually take something with us.  We usually ask what we can bring and are usually allowed to bring something.  It's nice to know that there's at least one thing we would like to eat at the meal.

Darlene


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## AMSeccia (Mar 11, 2008)

Auntdot, you might be overreacting (to use your words) just a wee bit.  I agree that there's too much going out and take out food.  But I choose to work and my girls were in day care.  I also grew up in a restaurant and learned to cook out of necessity.  I teach people to cook.  My girls can cook.  So it's not ALL bad.  There are lots of people who love to cook out there, hence the popularity of the food network, fine living, and the like.  

But everyday life has changed, and a mom's role has changed in some cases, some of us are still raising our family around the table.

PastaKing, great topic --- as for your question, I try hard not to seem a snob, but I do think that people who are uncomfortable in the kitchen are either uninterested, intimidated, or think I am one.  I don't understand not enjoying cooking, so I just continue to encourage and inspire and hope that someone is listening.  I know my kids are!


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## Fisher's Mom (Mar 11, 2008)

I don't know if "food snob" is exactly the right word. It seems to me "passionate about food" might really describe it better. We all have things we are passionate about, and usually we develop some proficiency or expert knowledge about those things because we love them! Obviously, we can't all be passionate about everything - it would take away from our uniqueness.

As I said, I was truly a horrible cook. I didn't grow up in a home where food and cooking was a priority - it was more a daily chore. I had the same approach to food as an adult. I would enjoy eating a delicious meal but it just wasn't a big priority. Because I chose to be a mother, feeding people has been a big part of my daily life for many, many years. I viewed it as part of my job, but nothing I got really excited about. We always gathered at the table to eat, but it was definitely the company that everyone enjoyed. The food was really secondary because it wasn't well prepared.

I have always had friends who were good cooks but I never felt insecure about it. I have other skills and passions I excel at. I am always grateful for my cooking friends because I can all on them for help. (Another reason why I value all of you here at DC so much.) And in return, they can call on me for help with sewing, carpentry, computer problems or any of the other things I'm skilled at. For me, I never based my self-esteem on any one particular thing so I'm not upset about the things I'm not good at.

It's been a blast learning some basic cooking skills this last year and I really enjoy serving a yummy meal now. My cooking friends are delighted and encourage me, even though my food is never as good as theirs. Still, they love me and they know how far I've come!

Vera, I'd love to invite you to dinner. I know you are really a gourmet chef and before I read your post, I would have been intimidated about feeding someone with your talents. Your post put a smile on my face.


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## buckytom (Mar 11, 2008)

i'm either really lucky that my friends and family are all decent cooks, or i just really like to experience the food that someone else has prepared for me, to taste things their way, because i can't recall more than 1 or 2 occasions that i thought the food sucked.

i can remember one time, at my sil's house in rural virginia, a special "treat" of her vesion of a southern breakfast was served. even though it was , i still enjoyed it in a way for the novelty and experience. and the biscuits saved the day. 

my eyes must have been like dinnerplates as she poured a half bottle of corn oil into a skillet (a bottle lasts me a year), poached the eggs in it, then fried crumbled sausage in it, adding flour and milk to make a gravy. i mean, none of the fat was poured off. it was all just incorporated. the eggs were served floating in oil, and i was afraid i'd have a heart attack if i had too much gravy.

but her homemade biscuits were just out of this world. a little butter, and i was elbows deep in oily eggs. 

so, all in all, it was a meal shared with family. that makes up for a lot. 

(as long as there's good bread, too.)


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## YT2095 (Mar 11, 2008)

Happily the only meals I get invited to are by my mates, and I taught ALL of them how to cook!
(we were all single at one time and my place was the place to get the grub! (and Beer)).

Now we`re all Hitched and with kids each, I can be in their kitchen helping out and giving tips and ideas still with no offence taken, and I`v never once had a problem with their food Bar Once, when it came to BBQ! Frozen Middle black outside!
(soon corrected and explained, and never repeated).

oddly, it`s all the Lads that do the cooking most of the time now too, I`v never once been invited when their Wife has cooked summat?

Snob... naaah, we`re all the same now man 

*The Lads from the Black Country!*


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## B'sgirl (Mar 11, 2008)

This thread reminds me of a dinner I had awhile back. We invited one of DH's coworkers and his wife over for dinner. We had a turkey in the freezer that had been there awhile so we decided to have a Thanksgiving-type dinner. The whole time the wife was acting so amazed that I cooked all that. (Boxed stuffing, Rhodes rolls, it really wasn't a very "homemade" meal). I was just wondering what her idea of a home-cooked meal was, exactly. I can picture her putting a Stauffers lazagne in the oven and calling it home-cooked. I must say I was pretty amused by it all.


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## expatgirl (Mar 11, 2008)

Some of my favorite pasttimes are cooking and sharing with friends.  Even if  I nearly slice off my fingers in the process.  This weekend I showed a coworker's 15 year old daughter how to make American chocolate chip cookies.  Nadzhda is from Russia and was just amazed and the whole purpose was to give her more experience in speaking English--sorry I can't just sit down and talk--I need something to do--so I did what I do best---everyone was so happy with the cookies and they brought Russian pancakes stuffed with so many wonderful things (mushrooms, vegetables, meat)  We had so much fun and delighted in each other's company.  I don't think I've had such a fun time in a long while.  Nadezhda also brought her beautiful cat, "Josephine" whose original name was Joseph until the vet had to break the news to them.


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## suziquzie (Mar 12, 2008)

I'm not sure itf you'd call it a snob, but I tend to show people I care for them thru spending time on a nice meal. Then if someone just slaps something together when we go over I take offense because in my head, I think they don't give a crap enough about me in return to spend any time making any effort. 
I've come to realize tho that some people would rather spend the time talking and hanging out with you. I like to do both I guess!


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## PastaKing (Mar 12, 2008)

I agree with all of you. You are all right. I really shouldn't look at it any other way then time with friends. They are cooking, and doing the best they can, because they care about me. 

In my head though I will always be saying "I could have done this better".


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## Little Italy (Mar 13, 2008)

In my college everyone at the dorms have a full blown kitchen in their rooms, but what i have come to find out is that people do not really use them. I learned to cook about 7 months ago and feel in love with it. I have always liked cooking when I did, and every time I do cook i invite as many people as possible over. Tonight i have to charge them 6 bucks, but being in college i cant keep buying food for 4+ people. I enjoy cooking and they do not or do not know how.


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## mudbug (Mar 13, 2008)

buckytom said:


> my eyes must have been like dinnerplates as she poured a half bottle of corn oil into a skillet (a bottle lasts me a year), poached the eggs in it, then fried crumbled sausage in it, adding flour and milk to make a gravy. i mean, none of the fat was poured off. it was all just incorporated. the eggs were served floating in oil, and i was afraid i'd have a heart attack if i had too much gravy.



that's not the way we all cook here in Virginny, buckeroo.  You need to have you a nice Smithfield ham biscuit.  Just a little of the ham juice on the biscuit to help it go down..................


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## Claire (Mar 17, 2008)

I'm firmly in the camp of those who believe that if it is made with love for me, I don't care if it is instant mashed potatoes.


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## Barbara L (Mar 17, 2008)

Claire said:


> I'm firmly in the camp of those who believe that if it is made with love for me, I don't care if it is instant mashed potatoes.


I agree wholeheartedly.  

Barbara


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## Saphellae (Mar 17, 2008)

JGDean 


> My mother hated to cook. My sister and I both liked it. Part of the conditions of getting spending money growing up was cooking dinner for the family as my mother worked outside the home. My grandma was an excellent cook although growing up in WVa she added bacon fat to nearly everything. I learned to cook by reading and trial and error. Two things I learned: cumin is not good in tuna salad and Mashed Potatoes do not come out well in a food processor unless you like eating wall paper glue.



Oh gosh, last night I whipped my potatoes and I think I whipped too long.. they ended up gummy and gluey!  They still tasted okay, but the texture was strange lol...


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## Fisher's Mom (Mar 17, 2008)

Saphellae said:


> JGDean
> 
> 
> Oh gosh, last night I whipped my potatoes and I think I whipped too long.. they ended up gummy and gluey!  They still tasted okay, but the texture was strange lol...


Yep, that can do it! I rinse my cut potatoes in a few changes of water before I boil them - that seems to reduce the incidence of gumminess, too.


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## jpmcgrew (Mar 17, 2008)

Saphellae said:


> JGDean
> 
> 
> Oh gosh, last night I whipped my potatoes and I think I whipped too long.. they ended up gummy and gluey! They still tasted okay, but the texture was strange lol...


 I think you may have not used enough water Fishers Mom's idea is good also but over whipping is not the problem more water helps get rid of the starch.


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## BrazenAmateur (Mar 18, 2008)

To the OP:  I don't think you're being snobby at all.  It isn't like you're telling them they suck, you're still going there and eating it and having fun.


What's way worse is when you have a friend who THINKS they're Thomas Keller but in reality is awful.  When someone who can't cook is getting really theatrical and makes the focus ON the food (bad food), then maybe it's time someone says something.


At any rate, what interests me more is your reluctance to cook with others.  I am a NAZI in the kitchen and I generally don't like any meddlers around (i.e. people snagging tastes or asking me questions), but I still like cooking with others (even people who have zero background) when that's what I've set out to do in the first place.

I have friends over all the time to cook stuff, some are incredible cooks and others know squat.  Neither situation is more fun than the other, it's always a blast.



My friends that can't cook generally don't try much without my nudging however, so I don't tend to really have your problem.  They'd rather just go out.


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## Fiona (Mar 18, 2008)

constantly!!!!


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