# The Ultimate Picky Eater Recipe Challenge...



## Paint (Aug 9, 2005)

I have the Ultimate Teen Picky Eater in my family - my 15 year old daughter. I have looked at countless magazine articles on recipes for picky eaters, and have bought tons of recipe books full of 'Family meals that ALL the family will love'....she hasn't liked a single new thing that I've persuaded her to try in the past 12 years...no kidding!!

It's getting to be a problem - I am very concerned about good nutrition but just haven't the time to cook 2 separate meals a night - so she ends up eating frozen mac & cheese, Lean Pockets, or Pizza most nights. To make matters worse, she goes vegetarian every few months (but won't eat most vegetables!).

If any of you can come up with some ideas, I would be eternally grateful, because I'm just about at my wits end!!

Things she will eat:
Mashed potatoes
Corn on the cob
Raw Carrots
Peas (sometimes)
Macaroni & Cheese
Pizza sauce
Pizza
Pepperoni (when she's not vegetarian)
Pepperoni Lean Pockets (")
Pepperoni or Cheese Pizza (no veggies).
Cheese sandwiches (no veggies)
Tuna sandwiches (no veggies)
Grapes
Kiwi Fruit
Apple juice
Chef Boyardee Tinned Pasta
Cream of Tomato Soup (the ONLY soup she will eat).
Turkey Hot-Dogs (when not vegetarian)
Chicken Kiev (")
Fries
Salt & Vinegar Potato Chips (no other flavour)
Ice-cream
Yogurt (as long as it doesn't have bits in it)
Cheese
Cheese omelet
Pasta

Things she hates:
Rice
Cous-cous
Anything Mexican
Onions
Mushrooms
Peppers (Bell and other peppers)
Tomatoes (unless it's Pizza sauce or ketchup)
Beef
Chicken (unless it's in nugget form)
Turkey
Ham
Anything with 'bits' in it
Anything with veggies in it
Anything Indian
Anything Chinese
Seafood & Fish (apart from Canned Tuna)
Any sort of casserole (because it has veggies and bits in it)

There is heart disease in my family and so I am concerned about her eating too much saturated fat/cholesterol. I try and use low-fat cheese, but I'd still like to cut down on the cheesy things she likes....but it's hard to find another healthy protein source when she's in a vegetarian phase and won't eat chicken or other lean meat.

Recipe ideas that I can cook in bulk and then freeze portions for her would be great!  Any ideas???

Paint.


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## middie (Aug 9, 2005)

i'm interested to find this too. all my little sister will eat is mashed potatoes and that's really about it. good luck paint


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## kitchenelf (Aug 9, 2005)

It might be something she has to outgrow - my son changed drastically from 15 to 17 - though he wasn't a picky eater by any means. I mean he will eat things with onion in it now, etc. Give her some good multi-vitamins - you can check with her doctor to see if she needs to be taking anything else too.  The more concerned you get the more picky she might become.


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## Alix (Aug 9, 2005)

Oh boy. That IS picky.

My kids love to make their own tortilla pizzas. And really, you hit all the food groups with pizza. So she eats the same thing every day, boring for you, but as long as she gets SOME of everything she will be OK.

Try tortilla pizzas with whatever meat she will eat and tomato sauce. (You can sneak pureed carrots or something in with the tomato sauce if you need to.)

Try smearing cream cheese on a tortilla and letting her cut up kiwi and whatever other fruit she will eat (strawberry, peach slices?) on it and then drizzle a pineapple juice glaze over it for her. That way she gets the food groups in another form. 

Now that I have offered you a couple of ideas, I will just say she clearly feels the need to have control over this piece of her life. Keep offering the healthy stuff, but continue to let her make her own decisions. You are doing the right thing here. Even the pickiest eaters will eventually branch out. I read somewhere it takes a minimum of 12 exposures to something new before a kid will trust it enough to try it. I won't tell you not to worry. You can't help it, she is your baby. Just remember we are here for you, and we will try to help you come up with other stuff to tempt her palate. Good luck!


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## ironchef (Aug 9, 2005)

How about making her responsible for her own dinner? You could stock the pantry/fridge with stuff she'll eat and just explain to her that because it's getting tiring and difficult to guess what she wants to eat every night, she is responsible for her own meal.


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## kitchenelf (Aug 9, 2005)

ironchef - that's a good idea!


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## daisy (Aug 9, 2005)

Be comforted! She is NOT, repeat NOT the ultimate picky eater!! That was me throughout my childhood. I would eat only lamb chops and mashed potato. Refused the lamb chop if there was the slightest trace of pink about it. Refused the mashed potato if there was the smallest lump in it. On rare occasions, I'd eat a few green beans, as long as the life had been boiled out of them. No long lists of 'likes' for me! I would drink only water or tea (no milk). I sent my mother grey at a young age. The more fuss she made, the more stubborn I became. I learned from that with my own kids!!

Now - I'll eat pretty much anything, and like to experiment with different foods and flavours.

How did the change come about? I left home at 16 to live with another family, many hundreds of miles from home in the Outback (nearest neighbour was 100 miles away, nearest town 300 miles), as an employee. Was forced to eat what I was served, or starve. I chose to eat.

When it came to my kids, they were allowed a list of 10 'dislikes', to be changed each week as desired. The deal was that they'd eat everything NOT on the list, with me playing fair, and being considerate enough to offer only small servings of the known dislikes. There were frequent mumblings and grumblings on both sides, but it was a democratic system which worked well. 

AND they were encouraged to help with the shopping, and to prepare the meals. They usually ate at least a little of whatever they'd made for themselves.

The real solution is to let these real picky ones go hungry for a while, not to pander to their fussiness. Let it be known that 'eat it or go without tonight, I'm not making a special meal just for one' is a rule that will be enforced. Seriously, they'll eat when they're hungry enough! At 16, any advice you give re balanced diet is likely to be completely ignored. Wait a few years and common sense will kick in. A boyfriend she wants to impress may well be the answer!


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## Sandyj (Aug 9, 2005)

*My daughter, too!*

Boy oh boy, do I feel for you...I have a picky eater like yours, my youngest daughter, now 16. I have had the same worries about nutrition, and your daughter's likes and dislikes are so similar to mine that I could probably stock your pantry....

It's true, I think a some of this is my daughter excercising control over her life - over me! I've reached the point where I make sure that there are healthy foods in the house, and I'm not pushing too much (been there, done that, didn't work). I have told her, though, that I am NOT a short order cook, and I'll do one meal for the family a night and that's it. I did buy the multi-vitamins, but made the mistake of buying the one with minerals included, which made the pill really large, and she wouldn't take it (so I do )

BTW - Up to the age we came to the US, she was 5 then, she was a wonderful eater. For the first year here, she didn't even like the usual US kid-fare (chicken nuggets, mac 'n cheese, pizza, burgers, fries), but would eat a baked sweet potatoe, liked oatmeal. But it changed as she grew and made friends.

I do talk to her about how good nutrition shows on the skin and the hair (appealing to vanity). I know with children, sometimes it takes a 1000 repititions - have faith, some of it does go 'in there', as I'm sure you know.

One suggestion that I have had a little success with is to take her food shopping with me, and get her to pick out some of her favourites, but insist that she picks out some nutritious things too - sort of a compromise.  Maybe  she could even  be persuaded to plan a menu for one family meal a week. My daughter,  right now anyway,  probably wouldn't go that far, or would give me cheek! But, I do have some leverage (instant messaging, computer use, and there's always some measure of bribery and corruption if you're inventive (don't knock it!)).

Good luck, Paint. This too shall pass.
Yours in adversity,
Sandyj


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## thumpershere2 (Aug 10, 2005)

15 and that picky. I agree, let her make her own meals. she will probably tire of that.As long as you have what she likes in the pantry let her go at it.


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## marmalady (Aug 10, 2005)

Someone once said to me, 'the teenage years are like the terrible two's, only worse'! So true! I agree with all that on some level your daughter is enjoying the attention she's getting, and the 'power' she's able to exert over you as you wear yourself into a frazzle trying to get something down her throat.  


I'd do as IC suggests, and have things available she likes; if she doesn't like what's on the table for dinner, she can make her own. 

Tough love, I know! And that having been said, keep an eye out for that horrid monster anorexia or bulimia raising its nasty little head.


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## Piccolina (Aug 10, 2005)

I’m going to go with the group consensus here and say that while she is indeed finicky, she is not the pickiest eater ever. At the risk of sounding too analytical have you ever thought about two things…

One, I know you said that this issue has basically been present since birth and in a way that semi excludes what I am about to say but, it is a well known fact that some people use food as a means to have something to control, a “power tool” if you will (hopping on and off the vegetarian band wagon almost reminds me off this, as while we can all choice to eat as we wish, the choice to go vegetarian is usually made for a substantial reasons and adhered to for a long time/life). Could it have been possible during those early years of her life, either consciously or subconsciously she thrived on the attention that was paid to her when she looked you square in the face and refused to eat “x, y and z” that were placed in front of her? 
Of course we all dislike certain foods, I myself am married to something of a picky eater, but just as some people can become too obsessed with adhering to a specific diet so too is it possible that not eating the majority of foods can become psychological. 

The second idea is that perhaps she is in fact allergic to some of the foods on her “no” list or that they cause her to feel other negative physicals affects. Some times at an early age kids don’t voice how they feel physically (for a host of reasons, shame, wanting to seem tough, even thinking it is normal and so on – or perhaps at one point the child did bring it up and was told it was nothing, “a stomach ache” or some such, and thusly didn’t want to come across as a “whiner”). Have you asked your daughter if any of these foods she “hates” makes her feel sick/ill in any way or ever had her tested for allergies and/or celiac disease?

But please don’t think that I am speaking ill of your child or telling you what must be the case, both ideas are just that, spun off the top of my head as I read your post.

Here are a couple of recipes that your daughter may like as they combine a few of the foods on “the list” in each one:

*Mashed Potato Pizza Crust   *

3 cups cubed potatoes (Russets are nice) 
1 cup flour 
Herbs/seasonings of choice   

Preheat oven to 400 degrees (or a little less if your oven is very hot). First boil the potatoes until they are done and then mash them, but don’t add extra liquids or fats. Next, slowly add in the flour, about ¼ at a time, until everything is well incorporated. 
Add any herbs or seasoning that you like. Spread the mixture into a shallow tart pan (grease lightly or use non-stick) or onto a non-stick cookie sheet – you want a layer that is about a quarter of an inch thick or so, but you can make it higher if you want. 
Bake for 12-15 minute, until the top begins to turn golden yellow. 
Remove from the oven and cover with the toppings and sauce of your choice (a cheddar cheese sauce with pieces of broccoli and cauliflower is one of my favs), quickly place back in the oven for a few minutes, or just flash under the grill (broiler) to melt the cheese (if using cheese). 


*Kiwi Smoothie* 

1 cup of milk (any type skim through whole) 
¼ cup pineapple titbits (but you could leave them out) 
1 scoop (about ½ cup) of vanilla or other ice cream 
2 kiwis peeled and sliced 
small handful of seedless grapes, peeled    

Place all the ingredients in a blender and pulse until smooth, about 45-60 seconds.
Serve and consume at once as the kiwi can taint the flavour of the milk after a while (I think it has to do with the same reason why kiwi doesn’t work well in gelatine, unless you cook the kiwi first). It is also lovely with a bit of chopped or grated fresh ginger or a few berries of your choice.


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## Paint (Aug 10, 2005)

Hmmm....well, we've tried offering just the one meal but that just leads to major stress at the dinner table (I get indigestion if I'm stressed when I eat and then can't eat...DH comes back from work so stressed that he just can't handle any more at dinner, so he will end up in a big fight with DD, and our youngest daughter will then end up in tears because of all the shouting & horrible-ness going on). Eldest daughter will also either go across to a friends house and get alternative food there or sneak into the pantry and raid the lunch-box supplies when I'm not looking....then there's always food available at school, and that's hard to stop because the teachers will lend her money and friends will share their junk food with her.

She will try new things - the problem is that she's never liked anything new that she's tried. I do insist that she takes a packed lunch to school and make everything nutritious in that....but I know that she swaps some of her lunch for friend's pizza etc. 

She will sometimes force herself to eat new foods if she's at dinner at a friend's house to be polite...but again, she always comes home and tells me that she didn't like the food and it made her feel sick. 

I just can't let her live on pizza or cheese-based things all the while because as a nurse, I know that they are finding evidence of atherosclerosis in kids as young as 15 nowadays...because of the junk food diet that kids eat. It's awful to say, but we are going to see the next generation having heart-attacks in their 30's. Schools don't help as they provide mostly junk food for lunch. With High Cholesterol levels and heart disease running in our family, It's vitally important for her future health that she learns to eat properly. 

Anorexia isn't a problem - she is always fussing over friends that don't eat enough and/or are worrying that they look 'fat' when they are not overweight at all. She eats plenty of food...just the wrong food.

I tried to support her most recent foray into vegetarianism by buying her a vegetarian cookbook and offering to help her make any recipes she wanted to try, but there was only 1 recipe in the entire book (and it has 400 recipes in it) that she was willing to try....cheese and potato pie  She said that everything else 'looked yucky' and had 'too many vegetables in it'  

At the moment I try and compromise - if we have pasta, then I'll cook pasta for her and just put pizza sauce on her portion.  If we have something with veggies on the side, then I'll just give her mashed/roast potatoes and peas, maybe with a low-fat turkey hot dog for protein (if she's eating meat).  The other problem is that my youngest daughter is now starting to get picky too - because she sees her sister getting special meals and she wants to have what sister is having instead of what DH and I are having.

I was a picky eater when I was young - but not to the extent that she is, and there was no junk food then, so at least the meals I would eat were good home cooked ones.  I guess she will eventually grow out of it, but it's driving me nuts in the meantime!

Paint.


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## Paint (Aug 10, 2005)

Jessica - thankyou for those recipes, we will try them.  I like  those ideas.  When she was weaning, I made all my own baby foods and by the time she was a toddler she was eating chinese, indian, italian...all sorts of flavours and tastes.  The problem really began when she started school (in England) at 3 years old.  She would take a packed lunch, because most infant and elementary schools in England don't serve a hot lunch,  and at that point started to get picky (she went through a period of only eating sandwiches for instance).  She was also exposed to junk food when she went for playdates with other kids - their mothers would serve chicken nuggets, burgers etc. for lunch.  The problem escalated when we moved to the US when she was 8....the schools served junk food and there was too little supervision at lunch times, so she soon discovered that she could 'swap' her healthy lunch for pizza from other kids - or borrow money off the teachers/her friends to buy pizza. 

Paint.


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## Sandyj (Aug 10, 2005)

Jessica, I have followed this thread with interest, since my daughter is also very picky. I really like your mashed potato pizza idea. I may just try it out tonight. It seems like everyone here is on pretty much the same wavelength, which is interesting (and nice). Paint, the idea about the possible food allergies is interesting and plausible - and while it could be true, if it is suggested to your daughter, she may seize upon this as a way of adding that extra justification to why she doesn't like x, y or z. I only say this because last year, my daughter became convinced she was lactose intolerant (like her best friend) and milk became one more thing she wouldn't touch. Interestingly enough, I bought Nestles chocolate powder, and she discovered that she loves drinking ice cold milk mixed with the chocolate powder - no stomach aches, no rashes, no conjestion. I don't like the sugar, but since Nestles was encouraging her to drink milk, I've been keeping a supply. Hmmmmm. 
Paint, your daughter's early eating experience sounds so much like my own children, as well as the part where they started getting picky as they grew and met other kids. I also made all their baby food at home, and they all ate very healthily. Our family has also been through a good deal of stress at the dinner table. That was hard for us, too, and I often felt resentful of my daughter. Now, I just don't fight with my daughter about eating. I insist that she at least sits with us, even if she only eats one potato - or nothing. Later, when she complains she's hungry, I just shrug. I have had to cut down on school lunch supplies, because she'd raid them, too. Slowly, slowly, she's coming around.

Good luck.


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## Alix (Aug 10, 2005)

Paint, I completely understand that you are worried about her having some kind of ill effects from eating the same thing every day. She isn't going to eat the same thing every day. She will after a week or so begin to choose other things. You just keep stocking your pantry with stuff that is healthy and let her go.

Maybe I don't understand the "raiding" comment. In our house, if my kids don't like what I serve for a meal, our deal is they are free to go and choose other foods from the same food groups to feed themselves. That way, they feel heard, and I don't want to throttle them.

Paint, I am going to risk offending you, but I am saying this with a great deal of care and concern. I think the issue here lies more with you and your DH than with your daughter. You mention the dinner table upsets, the indigestion and the tears of the other sibling. You have just described a classic "control" from your eldest daughter. What a wonderful attention getter she has found. I am not saying it will happen overnight, but if you can stop yourself reacting to her at the dinner table, then the rest of the chain reactions will also cease. Can you have a chat with her, and explain your concerns? Then tell her that you will provide healthy food choices and leave the rest to her? Let her pack her own lunch? Choose the dinner menu twice a week and the rest of the time get her own if she doesn't like what you serve? Her behaviour is a very common teenage strategy to exert some independence. 

I really feel for you, this is a tough one, and is obviously causing you some real anxiety. You are a good Mom, you are doing all you can to give her the best start in life possible. Now you need to let her make these choices on her own. Trust her. Even if at first it looks bad, she will start making better choices. 

Good luck Paint, this is a tough time for all Moms. Try to let it go a bit. She is at the point where she WANTS to do it for herself. Give her the tools and let her try. YOU can do it too, we are all here for you. I am going to scrounge up some of my other "Picky Eater" recipes for you.


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## abjcooking (Aug 10, 2005)

Paint, I was the same way when I was younger except that your daughter at least trys the stuff, I would flat out refuse to put it in my mouth.  I was quite stubborn at that age. Things changed around for me when I was 16 or so.  I decided to make my dad a birthday cake.  I found out I loved cooking and baking.  I would get into the kitchen and help fix meals, even if I didn't eat them.  Eventually I started to eat food that I wouldn't before.  

A few of the tricks that my mom used might not work for you but I will list them anyway.

Used ground buffalo meat in a hamburger.  I didn't know the difference.
Cut up veggies into little bits and hid them in casseroles.
For tuna she would shop the celery extremely fine.
For snacks she would serve ants on a log.  Peanut butter was full of nutrition.
Made homemade pasta sauce with veggies ground in.  Gida on Everyday Italian has a recipe like that.


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## Robo410 (Aug 10, 2005)

a lot of the things she will eat are very healthy...tomato soup, tomato sause on pizza, some cheeses, tuna, etc.  What you should NOT cater too are the easy prepared meals like hot pockets and easy mac beacause these contain WAY TOO MUCH sodium and fat.  If she can't eat what you have prepared, then she will have to make her own and it won't be a box or nuke meal.  Meal prep should be expected as part of the chores and clean up required.  It's never too late to lay down the rules of decent behaviour.  Don't give in.


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## TheLemonSong (Aug 10, 2005)

If I were you, my issue would not be with how picky she is but how UNHEALTHY that diet is!!  If she were picky about only eating good quality healthy foods, LET HER BE..but that is not the case!!!

Time to just say "Look, I'm making a meal eat it or go hungry!"  She's 15, thats grown up enough to eat things she doesn't like (especially things that aren't fried or maxed out on calories).  If she wants to spend her own money to go out to eat, let her (but that won't last long).  If she wants to make something to eat, thats fine too as long as she cleans up her mess ...but don't buy anything special for her!  

That may sound like tough love (and if it, so what?), but its for the health and wellbeing of your daughter!!!  Once she gets hungry enough, good homecooked well rounded meals won't be as bad as they were when she knew she could get away with eating exactly what she wants no matter how much stress or money it impacts on the family!  If you keep catering to her by buying exactly whatever she wants all the time, she's going to continue behaving as she has!!  

ITS FOR HER OWN GOOD!


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## TheLemonSong (Aug 10, 2005)

Robo410 said:
			
		

> a lot of the things she will eat are very healthy...tomato soup, tomato sause on pizza, some cheeses, tuna, etc. What you should NOT cater too are the easy prepared meals like hot pockets and easy mac beacause these contain WAY TOO MUCH sodium and fat. If she can't eat what you have prepared, then she will have to make her own and it won't be a box or nuke meal. Meal prep should be expected as part of the chores and clean up required. It's never too late to lay down the rules of decent behaviour. Don't give in.



Tomato soup, tomato sauce, and cheese are NOT healthy.
Tuna is close if she isn't slathering it w/ all kinds of crap..
I agree 100% no prepackaged meals.  The sodium isn't the concern, neither is the fat content (fat is good for you...although transfats and saturated fats aren't), its the CALORIES!


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## kitchenelf (Aug 10, 2005)

LemonSong - you don't have kids do you - *wink* (we lost our winking emoticon) - it is easier said than done.  Especially if it's going to create WWIII every mealtime.

Alix - you reminded me of something my doctor once said about Max's eating habits - don't look at it on a daily basis - look at it over a period of a week or 10 days - he probably is getting a good mix over that period of time but not on a day-to-day basis.

Paint - I will have to say that there were times I made two meals - it didn't really bother me because I wanted him to eat something and I remember being forced to eat foods I didn't like until I threw up.  Maybe instead of just making her make her own meals she can help you.  If she wants soup and grilled cheese it is a huge help if someone just opens the soup and unwraps the cheese.  The low fat cheese is still excellent.  I love grilled cheese on rye bread or 12-grain.  Maybe she can try that.  

Eventually during that one-week period you look at (versus every day) her body will tell her to have some fruit and some sort of vegetable.    Smoothies, like someone mentioned, are good for fruit.  Will she use Splenda?  In the meantime you're going to have to do what you think is best.  I boil along with my potatoes carrots or peas - mash them together - they're pretty good!!  Red potatoes I hear are a little better for you than a plain white potato.  

But remember..............and this too shall pass............

It really will.


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## TheLemonSong (Aug 10, 2005)

kitchenelf said:
			
		

> LemonSong - you don't have kids do you - *wink* (we lost our winking emoticon) - it is easier said than done. Especially if it's going to create WWIII every mealtime.
> 
> 
> But remember..............and this too shall pass............
> ...



  Nope, no kids yet, but when I do have them I'm certainly not going to put up with this kind of negative behavior.  Nor will I allow my kids to lead an unhealthy lifestyle.  If that means causing "WWIII" every mealtime, then thats what it means.
  My mom let me get away with this type of "picky eater" behavior and I really wish she'd have laid down the law.  It never helped me until I grew out of it, so I agree that "this too shall pass" but in the mean time it left me unhealthy, overweight, and allowed me to walk all over her in other things that didn't help me (like housework, etc.).
  Parents today are afraid of their kids.  They're afraid they'll cause "WWIII" and I don't think that thats going to help any situation.  You're the parent, she's the child, lay down the law.  
  If its a topic where she has a legitimate point, then thats one thing...but she doesn't have any legitimate point here.  She wants to live an unhealthy lifestyle that annoys you/bothers you/stresses you out so much you have to post on this message board about what you can do to cater to her negative behavior...why fall in to that trap?  
  Certainly I mean no offense whatsoever, and to some degree I think you should allow her to express herself and eat what she wants...but not all the time!  When she's out on her own, if she wants to be super-picky and eat crap, then that is her own issue, however while she's under your roof she follows your rules!  Its never too late to help your family to lead a more healthy lifestyle!  
  I wouldn't recommend doing the "eat everything on your plate before you get up" thing, but like I said..make a meal, if she doesn't want it, don't cater to her bad behavior by giving in and making special meals for her.  
  If she wants to spend her money buying something she'd like to eat, fine.  If she likes what you make or eats part of it, fine.  If she makes her own meal and cleans up the mess, thats fine too.  Otherwise, this is HER problem not yours, don't make it yours.


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## Constance (Aug 10, 2005)

Paint, I looked over your list, and I think your daughter can live just fine off those foods. Don't worry about it too much. If you make a big thing of it, it will just make matters worse.
She'll grow out of it.

In regard to pizza, I think it has an undeserved bad reputation. You can cut down on the fat content by making your own...(or letting her do it). Buy the refrigerated canned pizza crusts, have her nuke the pepperoni on paper towels to get out a lot of the grease, and let her go at it. All she needs to do is smear a little sauce on the crust, put on the mozzerella and pepperoni and anything else she wants, and bake. 
It will be no big deal for her to boil a little pasta, (my grandaughter likes bowties), and toss with some butter and cheese of her choice. Not a big step to add some tuna and peas, if she'll go for it.
Have you showed her how to make a bird's nest of her mashed potatoes? Just make a little indentation in the center and put the peas in there like little eggs. I still like that myself. 

About meat...most of us eat way too much anyway. 
Is there any kind of breakfast cereal that she likes? A lot of them are fortified with iron, as are some breads and other grain items. 
I'd also recommend you check with her doctor, and have him recommend an appropriate vitamin for teenage girl. It doesn't have to be a horse pill to work.


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## Paint (Aug 10, 2005)

Thanks everyone!!  Kitchenelf - you are right, I do have to look at the bigger picture.  It is easy to just focus on the bad things she eats and forget about the good stuff.  She does have a healthy breakfast (she likes organic 'weetabix' which is very healthy), and I am managing to send her to school with fairly healthy lunches (sandwiches on wholewheat bread, yogurt, fruit, low-fat chips etc.).  I guess I am focussing on dinner because that is the main meal of the day.

Alix - I was not offended at all by your advice! She always has liked to be the centre of attention.  DH has never liked the idea of family mealtimes - he would much prefer that I fed the kids before he gets home from work and then just us two eat in the dining room later.  However, I do believe that eating together as a family is very important - it at least gives the kids a chance to see what we are eating and to try some if they want to.  

I'm going to search out recipes for some of her favourite things (cream of tomato soup, pizza, macaroni and cheese) and have a look to see how heart-healthy I can make them.  I should be able to make them in bulk and freeze portions for her....and maybe try and get her interested in helping to cook them too.

I'm not worried about calories. She is naturally skinny...we all are.  It's heart-health I'm mostly concerned about.  She prefers diet soda - but is only allowed soda at the weekends (I buy the kids a 2-litre bottle of soda each on a Friday).   

I've tried pureeing veggies and hiding them in things, but she can tell the difference in taste.  I think I will just have to keep nagging at her to take her vitamins for now!

I had some good news today...as I mentioned before, both my Mother and Father have high cholesterol and heart disease.  My Father has had 4 strokes and 3 heart attacks and ended up having triple bypass surgery.  I have always tried to eat a low-fat healthy diet because of this, but I was still concerned because it's mostly genetic.  Anyway, I went for a cholesterol check on Monday and got the results today - I am in excellent health with very low risk of heart disease.  Both my 'bad' cholesterol  and my triglyceride levels are only half of what would be considered 'normal' and I have great 'good' cholesterol levels.  It means that I am doing a good job cooking dinners that are heart-healthy....I just need to try and adjust DD's dinners to make them healthier too....if I managed to do it with the food we eat, then I can do it with the food she eats.  It just takes some thinking about.

Thanks again,
Paint.


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## amber (Aug 10, 2005)

Too many posts to read here, but since your teen is able to decide what she likes, let her.  My 14 year old knows how to cook, makes her own things, much the same as your daughter.  Heart disease runs in my family too, but kids their age dont care about that.  My girl loves bread, pasta, rice, mac and cheese, veggies (limited to corn, and broccoli), all the things your girl likes too.  The only advice I have is to bake things instead of frying, and steam veggies.


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## TheLemonSong (Aug 10, 2005)

Paint said:
			
		

> I'm not worried about calories. She is naturally skinny...we all are. It's heart-health I'm mostly concerned about. She prefers diet soda - but is only allowed soda at the weekends (I buy the kids a 2-litre bottle of soda each on a Friday).



Heart health (as you probably know) has nothing to do with being "naturally skinny".  The same is true of health in general.  Weight and size aren't issues at all!  Her metabolism will slow down eventually and the bad habits will remain...this happens to many people and accounts for heart disease and other obesity risks being at an even higher risk later on in life.  

If you're concerned about heart-health here are somethings you can do: 
1- Limit sugar intake and add more fiber! (sounds like you're doing a good job w/ wheatbix and such, but take it even further...why allow any pop at all if you have success during the week not allowing it?)
2- make sure she does a cardio workout everyday!!! (and if you can get her to lift weights, thats even better!)
3- Fats are fine, just make sure they aren't transfats and limit saturated fats.  Good fats come from things like salmon and nuts.  See if she'll eat almonds instead of low-fat chips.


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## Caine (Aug 10, 2005)

I was, and still am I guess, a single parent. Two boys, 13 years apart. The younger is now 23. The older one was the picky eater. He showed up on my doorstep when his mother couldn't deal with him any more, at the age of 15. She fed him a steady diet of Swanson pot pies and TV dinners, and , maybe, a Banquet entre on Sunday. When he came to live with me, he would only eat beef, pork, and maybe some veal. Hoit dogs and hamburgers were, of course, a major delight. No lamb, no organ meats, and heaven forbid, no fish or seafood. The only vegetables he would eat were corn, frozen, not canned, and green beans, canned, never frozen. I am really not sure if his mother ever prepared a fresh vegetable, or if she knew how. 

The younger one I had on my own since he was nine months old. The only things he ever refused, and still does to this day, are flan (egg custard) and sweet potatoes. 

I made sure they had something nourishing for breakfast every day, packed each of them a lunch all through school and into their first jobs, and I prepared a hot meal almost every night of the week. They always had two choices: Take it, or leave it! They are both still alive, and healthy.


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## TheLemonSong (Aug 10, 2005)

Caine said:
			
		

> I made sure they had something nourishing for breakfast every day, packed each of them a lunch all through school and into their first jobs, and I prepared a hot meal almost every night of the week. They always had two choices: Take it, or leave it! They are both still alive, and healthy.



Hope that didn't cause WWIII !!!  Glad to hear they're both alive and healthy


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## middie (Aug 10, 2005)

i'm picky too. but nowhere near as bad lol.
caine it sounds to me like your kids were way better off
with you. you're getting some karma from me.


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## Alix (Aug 10, 2005)

OK, Paint, it sounds like you got some good advice here, and YAY to your good news about your cholesterol. I am sorry I didn't get a chance to post my other picky kid recipes, but I will get there I promise. I am glad you are feeling a bit better about the overall picture, thats what we are here for, to support each other! I completely agree with you about the sit down dinner too. Good for you for insisting upon it. Your husband may grump about it now, but your kids will talk about it when they are grown and he will realize it was important.

LemonSong, you make me laugh very hard. Please don't take this the wrong way but I have a feeling you have WWIII coming your way when you do have kids. From your posts you sound pretty um...opinionated and steadfast in your beliefs, I suspect any child of yours will inherit this trait. So don't be surprised if your words come back to haunt you. I don't know of any parent who doesn't have one of those "MY kids will never..." moments. Never say never. LOL.

Caine, kudos to you for exposing your kids to so many good things. It aint easy when you are single to do that. 

Constance, you are absolutely right about pizza having a bad rep. It can be very very healthy, or very very bad. Just depends on how you make it. That is one reason I suggest either tortillas or pitas as a base for kids. The less processed stuff, the better.


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## kitchenelf (Aug 10, 2005)

LemonSong will have a baby girl - that baby girl will wrap him so tight around her little finger - his heart will melt, he'll be the proudest man - and he'll know not to ever come back to DC and tell us he caved at dinnertime


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## TheLemonSong (Aug 10, 2005)

Kitchenelf- Chances of me "caving" are slim to none.  I'll be the proudest man about my daughter because she'll be healthy and in good shape, not because I let her walk all over me and eat whatever she wants.  As a parent I will NEVER (feel free to mark my words) let my children be wrapped around my finger to the point that it harms their future or damages their health and wellbeing.

Alix- If WWIII is coming my way because I'm willing to care enough to say no to Hotpockets, McDonalds, and a lack of proper nutrition, so be it.  I am steadfast in desiring a long and prosperous life for anyone in my family, especially children if I ever have them!  You can laugh about that if you'd like, but lets also face reality.  Most people out there are undereducated about nutrition and relatively lazy. Obesity is one of the top killers of my generation and the generation before mine for that exact reason, and while I'm not obese but I'm certainly not healthy either (although I'm working hard at overcoming that issue).  If I were to decide to let my child be the same way as I was growing up (or worse), I would be doing a great disservice to him/her.


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## Alix (Aug 10, 2005)

LemonSong, just remember this conversation when you become a parent. 

Yes a steady diet of highly processed food is bad for you. An occasional treat is a different story. 

Remember, everything in moderation, INCLUDING moderation.


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## jpmcgrew (Aug 11, 2005)

Paint,Thats a tough one  I agree with Daisy they will not starve.When my mother cooked a meal and I would say I did not like it she would respond {Well then I guess your not that hungry go to bed.But I also say the pre packaged stuff is bad with the hidden trans fats but there are alternatives heck even cheetoos makes a bag with no tran fats.If you can get her to limit the unhealthy stuff to once or twice a week she can pick the days she can have them,she does like alot of good stuff so maybe play those things up.Another thing is dont keep those really unhealthy products in the house so she has to find another alternative.Sorry I fell like Im being hard on you .But its tough in America where we are constantly being bombarded with fast food advertising and the grocery stores dedicate entire isles to crap food.
Its hard enough on us much less a teenager but in the end you are the mom so lay down the law.


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## Michael in FtW (Aug 11, 2005)

Alix said:
			
		

> Remember, everything in moderation, INCLUDING moderation.


 
Spoken like a true Moderator, Alix!


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## mrsmac (Aug 12, 2005)

My brother was/is the worlds fussiest eater! He grew up on mashed potato with peas and peanut butter with the occasional scrambled egg thrown in! When he was very young every meal was a battlefield between him and my father, David would actually get so hysterical he would vomit sometimes. Eventually mum went to the doctor and he told her not to worry, that he was probably getting enough nutrients and that without meat he was probably better off. When my brother was about 15 I convinced him to rty a chicken nugget, then he would eat them every night for dinner until he was in his 20s!! He has gradually through his own choice branched out a bit more and eats chicken and some fish. he isn't a vegetarian really cause he hates most vegetables - his salad is lettuce and carrot!
In a nutshell, hard as it is just let your daughter go, make her responsible for her own meals or try to accommodate her with variations on things she likes. She will eventually sort out what she likes and will eat. I agree with who ever said don't give her the power in this, say "fine get your own dinner" and relax, she won't die of malnutrition with the list you have given of things she'll eat. You need to give yourself a break this is very difficult for you and you need to know that ou are doing a great job and you are a wonderful mum and she has the problem not you.
My 13 yr old would live on plain pasta with a bit of cheese if I let her!! I think they are all difficult, they just take different paths to get there lol.
Good luck.


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## BBQ Fish (Aug 12, 2005)

Both of my daughters are soo pickey about potatoes. They will not eat mashed unless i make it, but i have to bake it first. They say they notice a difference if it's boiled or not because it tastes bad!
So being the 'oh soo mean dad'  i put one potato in the oven, and boiled the rest while they were gone to trick them. Had dinner all nice and ready, they took one bite and my oldest said "dad, how could you"!  This eight y/o kid caught me and knew exactly what i did!?

That's not all......She grounded me from boiling anything for a month, Seriously!


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## kitchenelf (Aug 12, 2005)

BBQ Chef - ROFLMAO - I can tell a huge difference in potato salad when the potatoes are boiled versus baked first - it IS in the texture!!!! lol - - Guess you shouldn't have raised such smart kids!!! lol  AHHHH - we think we are doing so good to teach our children all the finer things about food - textures included - then this is what happens!!!  

When my son was 2 he ate his first whole artichoke - I showed him what to do and he did quite nicely.  About 6 months later I made them again and he just sat there - I continued to do things around the kitchen just watching him out of the corner of my eye to see if he'd try to tackle it on his own - finally I said - "what's wrong" - he looked at me with this really indignant look and said "WHERE is the butter"?  

We do it to ourselves!!!!


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## BBQ Fish (Aug 12, 2005)

Kitchenelf, you just don't know the heap of trouble i'm in when time is not there and i try to cut corners. 

These kids are so involved with cooking now, (THANKS Emeril, Giada, Racheal and all other food network people for making my days a few hours longer!) they actually know the concept of time (when to check on things and making well sure to tell me) and measurement, (My 8 y/o asked my 6 y/o if she could borrow her hand because she needs a "Teaspoon" of salt and  not a "Tablespoon" that her hand equils)! 

When i heard that, this was me--->  !
And yes, we do it to ourselves!


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## Paint (Aug 12, 2005)

OK, I had a good look round the grocery store, and round my local wholefood store too....we found some solutions!!

I found low-fat (or trans fat/saturated fat free) versions of many of the foods she likes, and also some special treats that are healthier than the versions I usually buy (like low-fat, trans-fat free, saturated fat free, low sugar 'oreo-type' cookies).  I am not going to buy ready-made pizza for her again, it is easy enough to make her own with a supply of pizza dough, low-salt pizza sauce and fat-free cheese.  If she's eating meat, she can top it with low-fat turkey pepperoni.   She can make her own mac & cheese with low-fat cheese.  I can make healthy fruit-based desserts for the whole family (we don't usually eat dessert - but if it gets her to eat more fruit, then that's OK).  I can at least continually educate her in choosing lower fat, lower sodium, lower sugar varieties of foods she likes!  

She has done OK with her packed lunches - I was disappointed in that she didn't eat any of the fruit I gave her this week though.  Her excuses were....

Mon: Kiwi... "My friend stole it from me"
Tues: Grapes..."They got squished in my lunchbox" (They looked perfectly fine to me)
Weds: Peach..."I don't like peaches, but I was going to try it - but it got bruised and soft so I didn't fancy it" (She needs to NOT throw her lunchbox around so much).
Thurs: Apple...she managed one bite out of it...Yay!!..the rest got thrown in the trash 
Fri: Grapes....we'll see when she gets home - finger's crossed!

I just hate it when I buy expensive fresh produce for her and it just goes to waste or gets eaten by her friends Grrr...

Paint.


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## Andy M. (Aug 12, 2005)

I suspect one of the things that hurts a foodie most is their children's lack of interest in food. 

I have two adult daughters that couldn't care less about learning how to cook or about using fresh, unprocessed ingredients rather than processed foods.

I still try, from time to time, to peak their interest. I bought them three ingredient cookbooks. One asked for a crock pot so I bought her one along with a crock pot cookbook. She doesn't use either.

My eldest can live on Oodles of Noodles. She has thrived on them since high school. 

When they were younger, we would complain the their pediatrician about their eating habits.  He told us they were doing fine and were healthy.

Maybe someday, if I live long enough, they'll see the light!


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## tweedee (Aug 12, 2005)

When I was raising my kids I had only 1 picky eater out of the 4. His biggest dislike was greens but since he ate pretty good of everything else I didn't push the vegetables. 

I am now raising 2 grandchildren and the youngest (3 years old) is so picky I can't see how he stays alive on what he will eat. His favorite food is bread, he will eat all the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I will fix him. He likes pizza and bread sticks, oatmeal, cold cereal, bologna, hot dogs. Oh and he will eat potato chips, cookies and crackers. If I fix him a hamburger he will pick all the stuff out of the bun, put it aside and eat the bun and that's it.

I have tried feeding him the food and when I put it in his mouth he just sits there and refuses to chew and swallow.

What do I do in a case like this?


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## Alix (Aug 12, 2005)

Hey Paint, have you ever tried the dried fruit bars? Fruit snacks they are called here. You can make your own very easily by pureeing (sp?) some berries, applesauce, whatever, and spreading it on a cookie sheet and then setting it in a warm oven to dry out. I don't bother trying to get my kids to eat fruit in their lunches anymore, I send these instead and keep the fruit at home for after school snacks. 

Popcorn is a good healthy snack too. Ups her fiber content a bunch.


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