# Bank Machine Instructions



## Ken (Oct 11, 2005)

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: " Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed.Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender." 

MALE PROCEDURE: 

1.Drive up to the cash machine 
2.Put down your car window 
3.Insert card into machine and enter PIN 
4.Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 
5.Retrieve card, cash and receipt 
6.Put window up 
7.Drive off. 

FEMALE PROCEDURE: 

1.Drive up to cash machine. 
2.Reverse and back up the required amount to allign car window with the machine. 
3.Set parking brake, put the window down. 
4.Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 
5.Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up. 
6.Attempt to insert card into machine 
7.Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to excessive distance from car. 
8.Insert card. 
9.Re-insert card the right way. 
10.Dig through handbag to fnd diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 
11.Enter PIN 
12.Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN 
13.Enter amount of cash required. 
14.Check make-up in rear view mirror. 
15.Retrieve cash and receipt. 
16.Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 
17.Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook. 
18.Re-check makeup. 
19.Drive forward 2 feet. 
20.Reverse back to cash machine 
21.Retrieve card. 
22.Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot. 
23.Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 
24.Restart stalled engine and pull off and hit big yellow pole. 
25.Redial person on cell phone and tell them you hit a big yellow pole. 
26.Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 
27.Release Parking Brake.


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## Andy M. (Oct 11, 2005)

Ken:

Is this from your personal experience???


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## Ken (Oct 11, 2005)

Andy M. said:
			
		

> Ken:
> 
> Is this from your personal experience???


 
Only when I'm following behind Alix.  Just kidding Hon!


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## Alix (Oct 11, 2005)

Just for that I am going to go shopping after work...


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## Ken (Oct 11, 2005)

Alix said:
			
		

> Just for that I am going to go shopping after work...


 
Are you going to the bank machine?


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## Alix (Oct 11, 2005)

Nope...going to use the CREDIT CARDS!! Can't you withdraw cash on those babies too? La la la...*polishing up AMEX* la de da...*spiffing up VISA*...


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## mish (Oct 11, 2005)

Was I supposed to be in a vehicle? I gave my car to the guy in the red jacket.


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## middie (Oct 11, 2005)

oh man that's scary... i do it the man's way !!!!!!!


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