# How did you have your main meal growing up?



## Cheryl J (Sep 8, 2014)

The "Tyranny...." thread got me to thinking....what was the 'dinner hour' like when you were growing up?  (Or supper....or tea...) 

I'll start....  When I was growing up, as far back as I can remember, my dad got home from work at 5 and we had dinner in the dining room at 6 sharp.  We all sat together.  No phone calls were accepted, and definitely no TV.  My brother and I had to ask to be excused from the table when we were done, and take our plates with us to the kitchen.   

I remember going to friend's houses occasionally, who were allowed to have dinner on TV trays casually in front of the TV and allowed to take phone calls.  I thought that was so strange until I got older.  I think I was 10 years old before I ever had a take out pizza.   

What were your early years like, regarding your main family meal?


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## LPBeier (Sep 8, 2014)

Up until I was 12, we ate dinner much like you, Cheryl, except it was around the kitchen table.  The dining room was only for special occasions and company. 

When my Dad bought a pharmacy when I was 12, he was working 9am-9pm Monday to Saturday and 12-5 on Sundays.  Sunday we had our meal at 6 when he came home and it was always a traditional "Sunday Supper" - a beef or pork roast with all the trimmings, in the summer steak or chicken on the BBQ.  During the week my Mom and I ate when we felt like it at the kitchen table and we took a hot dinner to my Dad.  When I got my license at 16 I would drive it down to him.  My Grandfather dame to live with us when I was 14 and he would eat in his room so I would eat with him while my Mom was working at the store until 6pm.  I was in charge of making suppers then.

My Mom got rid of the dining room table and on big family dinners we would just sit in the living room with trays.

We also had to ask to be excused and that is something TB and I still do as we were both brought up that way.  We are trying to teach the kids that and it seems to be working.

This is a good thread topic, Cheryl!


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## buckytom (Sep 8, 2014)

we always, ALWAYS had to be home, washed up, and in a clean shirt and shorts or pants (no tank tops, no rips or holes in anything) and at the table by 6 pm. 
you know, i never realized this before but we sat in order of age: my mom and dad on the ends, then myself (the youngest) on mom's right, and increasing in age as we went around counter clockwise.

so long, fair well, auf wiedersehen goodbye! lol.


next, we also ALWAYS began our meal by saying grace first. 

there was no amount of misbehaviour tolerated at dinner,  and when we were done eating we would ask to be excused.

i'm happy to note that i have been able to get my wife and boy to say grace before every dinner (even when eating out, which, with the exception of very few places, gets odd to dirty looks from nearby diners).  enjoy your meal on your way to hell, ya heathen bastard....

jus'sayin'..

ok, and my boy also asks to be excused from the table. 

when reminded (as was the case in my childhood), we'd bring our plates to the kitchen sink. same as today. (i need to be reminded  less now)

i wouldn't have wanted it any other way, and LOVE the fact that i've been blessed with a family of my own to carry on our tradition.


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## LPBeier (Sep 8, 2014)

Bucky, we say grace at home and at restaurants as well.  Both our families were like that and we have carried it on.

There was another very strict rule when I was growing up.  If you didn't like something (for me it was pork chops before shake and bake) you had to have 5 bites of it and my Mom cut the bites.  For my sister it was peas and Mom determined that 5 was a bite so she had to eat 25 peas!


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## Cooking Goddess (Sep 8, 2014)

Like LP, we ate weekday meals in the kitchen, Sundays and holidays in the dining room. As an only child in a house with four adults, I had no choice but to act "grown up". Dad delivered bread, and unlike most office workers, he wasn't always home at the same time. Most nights he'd be home by 6:00, but Mom knew if it was getting past 6:30 it was OK to feed the rest of us. My aunt, great aunt and I would eat, but Mom usually waited until Dad got home. Unless it was winter. Some of those nights went really late and he wouldn't be home until after 8:00. Even then, she'd always sit with him and have a little something so he didn't feel like he was eating alone. 

I was responsible for getting the plates from the table to the sink counter. NEVER stack dirty plates one on top the other, my Mom would say. She was responsible for rinsing and washing (I dried) and she hated rinsing the top AND bottom of plates. We had a very small kitchen counter with appliances and a bread box taking up most flat surfaces...

We passed serving plates counter-clockwise with the meat in front of Dad. Seconds could be have after everyone had plates of firsts, and if you reached for seconds you had to call out "does anyone else want some of this?" like a circus barker! There was always more than enough because Mom cooked for her family of five like she was feeding a military troop!





buckytom said:


> ...i'm happy to note that i have been able to get my wife and boy to say grace before every dinner (even when eating out, which, with the exception of very few places, gets odd to dirty looks from nearby diners).  enjoy your meal on your way to hell, ya heathen bastard...


You might be interested in dining out at a North Carolina diner: N.C. restaurant gives a meal discount to praying diners - The Washington Post


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## buckytom (Sep 8, 2014)

who's picture is on an ancient roman coin ?


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## buckytom (Sep 8, 2014)

i should add that the worshington post screwed the pooch by reporting on it.


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## Cooking Goddess (Sep 8, 2014)

Blame the person who first posted it to Facebook. Once it's out into the interwebs.....


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## buckytom (Sep 8, 2014)

yeah, i guess. i like the fact that the proprietors offer the discount to those who they think are genuine. not as a gimmick.


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## biscotto (Sep 8, 2014)

We had dinner around 6pm, at our big kitchen table. My dad worked night shifts and would leave for work at 9:30, so he usually prepared dinner. He grilled a lot so we usually had meat, vegetables and a potato. Once my older brothers moved out, we didn't eat together so much. Usually I ate with my mom when she got home from work or we went out to dinner together.

My father died when I was 16, from then on my mom and I ate dinner together every night whenever she got home from work at the kitchen table. On sundays, my brothers and their families would come to dinner and we'd eat at the dining room table.

My FI and I eat together every night now at the kitchen table. We eat between 8-9pm usually, he's from Southern Italy and we tend to eat meals later in general. We cook together almost every night.


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## Addie (Sep 8, 2014)

We always ate at the kitchen table. It was one of those ones with the metal top. My mother served us from the stove. She would fix my father's plate first. There was always enough for seconds. The food was kept hot on the back of the wood burning stove. My sister and I cleaned up after supper. My mother put away the leftover food. We would do the dishes, sweep the floor and wipe off the table. We just had to be done my 7 p.m. That is when all our radio shows started. No TV in those days. In the summer I would rush to go out to finish the day playing with my friends. 

When school started the days started to get shorter and cooler. So I stayed in to listen to the radio. During this time my mother would be making a snack for us. Usually cocoa and toast.


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## bakechef (Sep 8, 2014)

We ate at the kitchen table, we didn't have a formal dining room.  The only time that a TV would be on is if there was some breaking news or a big storm coming our way, otherwise it was off.  

We'd eat and then my mom would take any leftovers and pack them up.  Everyone brought their dishes to the sink where my older siblings would wash and dry them.  As soon as I got tall enough, I helped with the washing and drying.


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## CWS4322 (Sep 8, 2014)

Until I was 7, my brothers and I were served "kids menu" at 6:00 p.m. in the kitchen. Bedtime was 7:30. Our parents ate whatever was on the adult menu in the dining room after we went to bed. In the middle of first grade, we moved to a small town. My parents owned the local newspaper and worked together. They'd be home by about 5. We all ate together then at the dining room table. I was responsible for washing the dishes. When we moved again when I was in sixth grade, mealtimes changed. Our parents had bought a restaurant, so my dad was usually at work in the evenings. My mom would bring home meals from the restaurant and eat with us at the dining room table. After then sold the restaurant, we reverted back to eating at 6:00 p.m. as a family. Sundays were usually the big meal of the week--roast beef.


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## Addie (Sep 8, 2014)

bakechef said:


> We ate at the kitchen table, we didn't have a formal dining room.  The only time that a TV would be on is if there was *some breaking news or a big storm coming our way*, otherwise it was off.
> 
> We'd eat and then my mom would take any leftovers and pack them up.  Everyone brought their dishes to the sink where my older siblings would wash and dry them.  As soon as I got tall enough, I helped with the washing and drying.



And we still keep the TV on for those winter storms. When my kids were small it was my radio in the kitchen to hear the "no school" announcements. Otherwise we watched Don Kent on Channel 4 for all our storm news.


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## Aunt Bea (Sep 8, 2014)

When I was little the main meal was around noon in my Grandmother's kitchen at the farm.  

When I was 10 or 11 my Mother remarried and we moved into a small village.  My parents both worked so my Sister and I fixed dinner and took care of the house.  Dinner was on the table at 5 o'clock, in the dining room, TV in the off position.  

In my late teens Mother purchased a set of TV trays using her green stamps and we began to eat some of our meals in front of the TV, sort of like going to a drive-in movie, it's been downhill since then!


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## Addie (Sep 8, 2014)

Bill Crosby once pointed out that the downfall of the family dinner was the TV trays. He was so right.


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## Rocklobster (Sep 8, 2014)

My father was a grumpy alcoholic and my mother worked shift work. She planned the meals well, and when she had to work, somebody either made them or they just needed warming up. We usually tried to eat at the same time at the table, whoever was there. We all started jobs as early as we could so you never know who was going to be home.  I ate as fast as I could and got the hell out of there. Which is why I joined every extracurricular activity, sport and artistic endeavor I could. Reason to not be home. In some ways, it wasn't a bad thing....fond memories...


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## PrincessFiona60 (Sep 8, 2014)

We ate dinner st the table, Mom cooked dinner until she started working.  We girls then took turns cooking dinner and we still sat at the table.  We asked to be excused.  Depending in Dad's mood, we would be somber or silly.  Dad's mood changed with the News that he watched, kids were not allowed to watch, we sat with our backs to the TV.


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## Addie (Sep 8, 2014)

Rocklobster said:


> My father was a grumpy alcoholic and my mother worked shift work. She planned the meals well, and when she had to work, somebody either made them or they just needed warming up. We usually tried to eat at the same time at the table, whoever was there. We all started jobs as early as we could so you never know who was going to be home.  I ate as fast as I could and got the hell out of there. Which is why I joined every extracurricular activity, sport and artistic endeavor I could. Reason to not be home. In some ways, it wasn't a bad thing....fond memories...



No it wasn't. It gave you memories of your mother working to put food on the table. And it gave you the opportunity to expand your world beyond your home.


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## Andy M. (Sep 8, 2014)

Dad owned a little store front restaurant when I was single digits old.  I don't recall if he was home for dinner.  After he sold the restaurant, we had dinner together every night at the kitchen table.  Mom cooked.  The TV was in the other room so that was not an issue.  I always considered mom's cooking the best of her and her sisters and she didn't like cooking.

When I was married with children, we ate dinner at the table when I got home from work.  If I was working late, I ate alone when I got home.  

SO and I share one meal a day at the kitchen counter, dinner.  The table directly behind us gets used when there is more than the two of us.


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## Addie (Sep 8, 2014)

When I had custody of my granddaughter after her mother died, I had no other kids at home. With my crazy eating habits, at first I would cook her a meal and she would be eating alone. I quickly realized that eating alone is lousy. So even if it was just a cup of chicken broth for me, I made it a point of sitting down with her so she felt like it was family eating time. Whenever I could I would also take her out to eat so that we were both sitting and eating together.


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## Roll_Bones (Sep 8, 2014)

Rocklobster said:


> My father was a grumpy alcoholic and my mother worked shift work. She planned the meals well, and when she had to work, somebody either made them or they just needed warming up. We usually tried to eat at the same time at the table, whoever was there. We all started jobs as early as we could so you never know who was going to be home.  I ate as fast as I could and got the hell out of there. Which is why I joined every extracurricular activity, sport and artistic endeavor I could. Reason to not be home. In some ways, it wasn't a bad thing....fond memories...



My mother and father worked as well and my father also drank to much after work every day.  He was mean when he drank.
My mother would encourage me to eat and go out before he got home to lessen the chances of trouble.
There was no special place to eat at our house. Kitchen was to small for a table and there was no dining room.  There was a small table in the corner of the living room and thats where i ate.

Today we eat watching TV.  I have a TV tray and so does my wife.
My MIL sits at the table.  We are all together as our dining room overlooks the living room.
We rarely use the dining room table.  Only for holidays or when someone comes over for dinner.


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## Dawgluver (Sep 8, 2014)

We'd have dinner at the kitchen table when Dad got home from work.  While he didn't drink then, he did have a very bad temper, and it made him mad that I was a picky eater.  Dinner could be stressful.  I too got involved in as many extracurriculars and after-school jobs as soon as I could.

Sundays were dinner at Grandma's, much more relaxing.


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## Andy M. (Sep 8, 2014)

I ate most everything without a fuss.  However, as a child, butternut squash was enough to make me gag - literally.  I could not get it down.  As an adult, I love it.  Dad mad me sit at the table until I finished.  Sometimes mom would take pity and clear my plate after dad left for his chair in front of the TV.


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## Cheryl J (Sep 8, 2014)

My dad was irritated that I was a picky eater, too. One evening he had enough and force fed me a bite of an artichoke heart - one of my fave foods to this day. I thought it "looked weird" and wasn't about to try it.  I don't agree with his method, but it worked and I ended up willingly at least trying, and liking, many foods from then on. 

Usually Mom did all the cooking, but on Friday nights, my dad made us a Mexican feast. It was us kids' favorite night of the week, partly because we loved Mexican food, and partly because it was just "different" to see Dad slaving away in the kitchen while Mom relaxed. He never did clean up, though. 

My first year in high school, Mom went back to work. That's when I started playing around in the kitchen, and having dinner ready for them when they got home from work. Not every night, but at least some.  Dinner still had to be at 6 sharp, even if it was ready earlier.


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## Dawgluver (Sep 8, 2014)

Hopefully parenting styles have changed since then.  Nothing like facing a plate of cold, congealed sludge of which you were forced to sit there until you ate it, to make you love it later in life!  Thankfully, I'm no longer a picky eater.

By the time my brother came along, my parents had lightened up.  He hated vegetables, so he was allowed to dip a carrot in ketchup as his veggie.  Now he loves, and eats everything as well.


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## Claire (Sep 8, 2014)

LPBeier said:


> Bucky, we say grace at home and at restaurants as well. Both our families were like that and we have carried it on.
> 
> There was another very strict rule when I was growing up. If you didn't like something (for me it was pork chops before shake and bake) you had to have 5 bites of it and my Mom cut the bites. For my sister it was peas and Mom determined that 5 was a bite so she had to eat 25 peas!


 
Funny, my mom's rule was three bites!  There were no separate adult/children meals, and we ate what Mom made.  I have three younger sisters, and as we got to a certain age, we picked up certain food-related chores, starting with setting the flatware (not break-able!) and on to setting plates & glasses, then to washing, drying, putting away.  I was the only one who really liked to cook, so I did a fair amount of food prep, leading up to doing a lot of full meals for periods of time when Mom was having serious health problems.  It was a "chore" I didn't mind (the dishes was another story).  We ate pretty much at the same time every day, after Dad got home, changed out of his uniform, cleaned up, and he & Mom had a drink.  Often had company, often had our girlfriends over.  Saying "yuck" wasn't allowed at the table, period, and basic table manners were observed.  On Sundays (except in the summer) we stayed dressed in our church clothes, and used China and crystal, and had to use a little more formal table manners.  We got cream soda in champagne glasses (until old enough for a bit of wine).


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## Steve Kroll (Sep 8, 2014)

I'm sometimes surprised I survived childhood. Don't get me wrong; my mom was a wonderful person, but not a very good cook. She knew it, too, and would often joke about it. More often than not, dinner began with the phrase, "C'mon boys. Get in the car," and we would head off to some restaurant, usually one of the two diners in town. Dad was a travelling salesman (no joke) and was not home much during the week. He was pretty good with a grill, so we had steaks or burgers on the weekend when he was home.

My mom could put together a meal from a can or a box. We had a lot of mac & cheese and hamburger helper kind of meals growing up. She could also make a decent pot roast with canned soup. We didn't eat a lot of vegetables, because my brother was very picky and the only two vegetables he would eat were corn or green beans, and then only from a can.  I don't remember mom ever using fresh vegetables, unless you count a head of iceberg lettuce.

So I kind of looked forward to the restaurant dinners, because I could order whatever vegetables were on the menu. 

When I was about 10-ish, I expressed an interest in learning to cook. So mom bought me a copy of the "Joy of Cooking." We would plan it out so I would occasionally make something under her supervision. By the time I was 13, I was not only cooking meals unsupervised at home about 3 nights a week, but also responsible for putting together the grocery list. Some of my meal plans were vetoed ("Spinach Souffle?... try again," dad said). My younger brother also cooked. In fact he ended up cooking for a living for about 25 years.

The one thing I will say is that, even though dad wasn't always there and we ate out often, we still ate together as a family. Us kids were expected to be home by 5:30 sharp every night for a 6:00 meal. Despite everything, I actually have a lot of good childhood memories of dinner time.


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## Andy M. (Sep 8, 2014)

Steve Kroll said:


> ...Despite everything, I actually have a lot of good childhood memories of dinner time.




I'm not surprised.  Good childhood memories are a result of good family and good relationships, not food quality.


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## KatyCooks (Sep 8, 2014)

The six of us (parents and 4 kids) always ate dinner (or tea as we called it) together at about 6pm every day in the dining room.   The food was basic - for two reasons - one, my tyrannical father would only eat the most bland, boring food imaginable, and two, my lovely mum had no interest in cooking!   

There was no TV and if my mum had her way there would have been no talking either!   However, you can't really keep 4 kids from chatting and by the time we were in our teens it was actually pretty nice the way everyone would discuss what sort of day they had had and talk about the weather and the news or whatever else came up.  We were absolutely not allowed to swear, but all opinions were listened to and debated.  Looking back, it was pretty cool but we didn't really appreciate it at the time.  

None of us was made to eat food we didn't like and we don't have any major food hangups now I am pleased to say.


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## CWS4322 (Sep 8, 2014)

Steve Kroll said:


> I'm sometimes surprised I survived childhood. Don't get me wrong; my mom was a wonderful person, but not a very good cook. She knew it, too, and would often joke about it. More often than not, dinner began with the phrase, "C'mon boys. Get in the car," and we would head off to some restaurant, usually one of the two diners in town. Dad was a travelling salesman (no joke) and was not home much during the week. He was pretty good with a grill, so we had steaks or burgers on the weekend when he was home.
> 
> My mom could put together a meal from a can or a box. We had a lot of mac & cheese and hamburger helper kind of meals growing up. She could also make a decent pot roast with canned soup. We didn't eat a lot of vegetables, because my brother was very picky and the only two vegetables he would eat were corn or green beans, and then only from a can.  I don't remember mom ever using fresh vegetables, unless you count a head of iceberg lettuce.
> 
> ...


Are you sure your mom and mine weren't twins separated at birth? Instead of loading us in the car, she'd open a box of that KD that came with a can of cheese sauce, make that and add tuna and canned tomatoes. I hate that combination to this day. My mom was in heaven when they owned the restaurant. We could order whatever we wanted--Anne and Caroline were much better cooks than either of our parents. 

There were periods, however, when my mom seemed to enjoy cooking--she took a Chinese cooking class after a trip to SF so our weekly menu rotation included stir fries. I think, in part, my mom was just  tired all the time (she had a mitral valve defect--fixed in 1997) and my dad was one of those picky eaters--things had to be prepared the same way each time and the meals had to be the same every week--kinda like "daily special" meals in a restaurant. I think he liked having the restaurant because he could dictate what the daily special was and not be surprised. My mom liked it because she didn't have to cook. We liked it because we could order whatever we wanted...prime rib was one of my favorites, as were shrimp.

Now that he has to do all the meal prep/cooking, he is not nearly as picky. My mom is the picky one--I don't like tuna. I don't like meatloaf. I don't want pork chops. Sometimes, I wonder if she says those things just to get under his skin.

For those who have a partner who doesn't know his/her way around the kitchen, I'd suggest baby steps to get that person in the kitchen--a hand's on cooking seminar, a couples cooking course, something fun. You never know what the future holds and knowing how to make decent food not only is more nutritious, but it also can save a lot of money.


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## bakechef (Sep 8, 2014)

My mom did a majority of the cooking, but if she was under the weather or couldn't do dinner for some reason, then dad would do it.  There was always a joke, anything that dad cooked was cooked in a cast iron frying pan.  He'd take out the cast iron frying pan, I'd ask "what's for supper", he'd say "i'm not sure yet", 

He made a great turkey and dumpling soup with the leftover turkey carcass.  Family would just show up the day after Thanksgiving, because they knew there would be soup!


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## PrincessFiona60 (Sep 8, 2014)

I remember twice my Dad took a bite of a meal, pushed it away and said to us, "You don't have to eat that."  Both times it was a Mom experiment and we ended up going out to dinner.  We did have to at least have one bite of things that were known we didn't like.  Also, not allowed to dis the meal at all.


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## Steve Kroll (Sep 8, 2014)

CWS4322 said:


> Are you sure your mom and mine weren't twins separated at birth? Instead of loading us in the car, she'd open a box of that KD that came with a can of cheese sauce, make that and add tuna and canned tomatoes. I hate that combination to this day...



Canned tuna... ick. Yeah, we had "tuna surprise" sometimes. Mom would try to doctor things up. Her favorite ingredients to add to boxed Mac & Cheese were sliced up hot dogs and green beans. 

I should probably mention that my mom hated to cook. She was a devout feminist and the first woman in her family to graduate from college. Even though she always had a full time job, the times we lived in demanded that women cook and take care of the house. That really bugged her.

There were two meals I can recall that were complete disasters. Dad, who loved to hunt, would occasionally bring home wild game. Before he got into sales, he spent a number of years as a butcher and knew his way around meat. One weekend he bagged a few squirrels and brought them home. I remember he was so proud of how nicely he had field dressed those squirrels and had a grin from ear to ear as he set them on the counter. Mom just looked at him and said, "I am NOT cooking rats." That really knocked the wind out of his sails.

So dad tried to make squirrel stew. I don't know what all he put in it, but it was the worst thing I had ever eaten. I know there was beer in it because that was all you could taste. Well, that and tough, little stringy bits of meat. It was one of those things that could make anyone turn vegetarian. Fortunately, most of it was thrown out, and squirrel never again found its way into the kitchen.

The other disaster was mini pizzas. It was an impromptu dish that mom whipped together one night when she was trying to get dinner on quickly. She took English muffins, sliced them in half, and topped each half with ketchup, weiners (again with the weiners!), and a slice of Kraft cheese. It was a meal I'll always remember, but not in a good way.


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## taxlady (Sep 8, 2014)

On weeknights, my sister and I ate at the kitchen table and my parents ate in the family room. Kitchen and family room were separated by a four foot high wall. The TV was always on.

Weekends, we were allowed to sit in the family room and eat off TV trays. My mum did all the cooking, except weekend grilling. Sundays, all summer, my dad made rotisserie chicken on the charcoal grill or sometimes steak. For those meals, the whole family ate at the picnic table on the patio.

We weren't fussy eaters. The only things, that my mum served, that I didn't like were peas out of a can, liver, and fried onions (I thought they were too sweet). My mum switched to fresh or frozen peas, gave me small servings of liver, and happily ate my serving of fried onions. There was always fruit, usually from a can, for dessert.

Strict rules when we were at someone else's house. We weren't allowed to say the food was yucky or make faces. We had to try a small serving of everything. If we put it on our plates, we had to finish what we put on the plate. In restos we had to try everything on our plate, but didn't have to finish anything. The exception to that was when we went to a buffet. If we wanted to try something, it was okay to put a small amount on our plates and not finish it if we didn't like it. But if we took seconds or put a large amount on our plate, we had to finish it.

I remember once visiting some of my parents' friends and forcing down some glazed ham (too sweet) and marshmallow coated sweet potatoes, with a smile. I thought both were really awful.

Holidays, and when there was company, we ate at the dining table.


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## buckytom (Sep 8, 2014)

you know, i called my parents tonight and told them i loved them after reading these stories.

i consider myself lucky. neither of my parents had any agendas beyond raising their children to the best of their ability. that included learning how to cook. if you intelligently care about the health of your children, it's what you do.

 they did what was best for us at all times without ever a thought of what was "right" for them.

i remember shortly after my son was born how it struck me what a selfish life that i'd lived up to that point.


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## Cooking Goddess (Sep 8, 2014)

Good for you bucky! Now whenever I want to thank my Mom and Dad for teaching me what they did (Mom=cooking and cleaning...only one "stuck"; Dad plumbing and pulling electrical wires...can still do either if pressed into service) I have to look heaven-ward. In spite of where they claimed they'd end up, I know they were darned good people.


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## Cheryl J (Sep 8, 2014)

I've so enjoyed reading about everyone's stories and memories of the family dinner table!  So glad this prompted you to call your folks, bucky, and tell them you love them.  I sure wish I could do the same with my mom and dad.  I've carried so many of their traditions with me over the years, and they knew that.  Maybe changed up a little here and there, but the basic traditions stay the same.  I feel lucky too, my childhood is filled with (mostly) good memories.  They did the best they could and insisted upon good dining table manners with us young 'uns.  

The more I read here, the more memories come to mind.  I remember when my dad decided we needed a fondue pot.  (it was the late 60's - early 70's after all, lol).  For a few years after that we had 'fondue night' weekly, in addition to our Mexican Friday night.


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## Dawgluver (Sep 8, 2014)

Would love to be able to call my parents too!  They did the best they could with what they had.  Thankfully, forcefeeding children is no longer recommended.


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## PrincessFiona60 (Sep 9, 2014)

I can still thank my parents and do so often.  They too, did the best they could with what they had.


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## Steve Kroll (Sep 9, 2014)

Yeah, I wish I could call my folks, too. Sadly, they've both been gone for many years. But I miss them and think about them often.


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## bakechef (Sep 9, 2014)

I guess that I was lucky in that my dad was never very strict.  He was often compared to Heathcliff Huxtable for being a bit goofy and lovable.  My mom was a little more strict, but not overly so.  

I was a picky eater, I'd often be left at the table to finish my dinner.  They'd usually give up because mom wanted the plate washed, LOL.  I was a stubborn kid.


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## Kayelle (Sep 9, 2014)

I don't know why I'm so late to this party! What a great thread and now I've read all the 42 posts with smiles and nods. I feel I know all of you a little better. Great idea Cheryl !!

I was raised in a little house that was attached to our little "Mom and Pop grocery/meat market". Food, and the preparation of it was our world. Our kitchen was the largest room in the house and the window over the sink looked out to the store. Mom or Dad would start something good smelling on the the stove for dinner, and open up the window to make the customers hungry. I think we pioneered the idea of samples given to customers. Both my parents were good cooks and since they never went somewhere else to work, they were always around. I took up cooking very early because of the circumstances. After the store closed at 7pm, the three of us would have dinner at the kitchen table. We always said grace before dinner, holding hands. I have wonderful memories of those days and I'm forever thankful for the parents I had. I was a late in life baby, and I lost them way too soon. To say I still miss them is a given.


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## CWS4322 (Sep 9, 2014)

Steve Kroll said:


> Yeah, I wish I could call my folks, too. Sadly, they've both been gone for many years. But I miss them and think about them often.


I have voice mails that my dad and mom left me saved. I never delete them when I clear my vm. My parents are still alive, but because I live so far away, I don't see them often. I miss going for walks in the woods with my dad, fishing, picking wild asparagus, taking my mom out for lunch, taking her shopping...and, I miss my mom because her dementia has turned her into a new person. When the DH's mom passed away in May, the first thing he said was "I'm going to miss her." And he does.


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## buckytom (Sep 9, 2014)

cws, i thought i was the only nutcase that saves voicemails of loved ones, just for someday, just to hear their voice (again).

i have saved ones from my parents, and a number of them from my boy as he grew up. from barely being able to say words up until he called me with a practical joke then farted into the phone when he was about six. lol, det er gutten min!

finally, my most precious voicemail is from my deceased buddy ozzy. he left it just a few days before he died. he was smoking a joint on a chairlift and decided to call me to let me know just how beautiful the conditions were that day. i was supposed to go with him but couldn't get out of work, so he called and left a voicemail.

i didn't really listen to it the first time as i was busy at work. but a day after he died , i was retrieving voicemails from family and friends about his passing and heard his final message to me: "heyyyy man. what's up?  it's sooo beautiful here. <<inhaling...coughing>> it's niiiice! wish you were here. later."

i like to think he was calling me from heaven.


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## Oldvine (Sep 9, 2014)

Both parents worked, we lived on a small ranch, we ate when everyone was home and the chores were done, no set time. 
Now, the two us eat when we get hungry and it doesn't matter what time it is.


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## Mad Cook (Sep 9, 2014)

Cheryl J said:


> The "Tyranny...." thread got me to thinking....what was the 'dinner hour' like when you were growing up?  (Or supper....or tea...)
> 
> I'll start....  When I was growing up, as far back as I can remember, my dad got home from work at 5 and we had dinner in the dining room at 6 sharp.  We all sat together.  No phone calls were accepted, and definitely no TV.  My brother and I had to ask to be excused from the table when we were done, and take our plates with us to the kitchen.
> 
> ...


We had dinner at lunch time when I was a girl. I had dinner at school and my parents and grandparents who were in business had their dinner at lunch time as it fitted in with the salons, the ladies' department being open until about 8pm

When I was a student and living in hall of residence dinner was provided at mid day and also a cooked "tea" in the evening. I put weight on!

When I started teaching I had dinner at school at lunch time and it wasn't until I was working for the gas company that I started taking packed lunches and I started cooking dinner in the evening.

Mostly I had  dinner at mid day when working because it suited my life style but when it suits me now I have dinner at night.

When I was a girl in winter we had Sunday dinner at lunchtime but listened to "Three Way Family Favourites" and The Billy Cotton Band Show" on the radio before we ate  and "Educating Archie" or "Ray's a Laugh" or similar afterwards. Our evening meal was on on trays in front of the fire on Sundays as a treat. There was usually a western on television at "tea time" on Sunday at the time we ate. In summer we went to Anglesey (North Wales) where we had a caravan, for the weekend. Things were a bit more casual then.


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## Mad Cook (Sep 9, 2014)

buckytom said:


> cws, i thought i was the only nutcase that saves voicemails of loved ones, just for someday, just to hear their voice (again).
> 
> i have saved ones from my parents, and a number of them from my boy as he grew up. from barely being able to say words up until he called me with a practical joke then farted into the phone when he was about six. lol, det er gutten min!
> 
> ...


I have my Father's last message to me before he died in 1997 on the mini cassette from my now defunct telephone answering machine. I can't play it any more but it comforts me to know it's there.


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## Andy M. (Sep 9, 2014)

Mad Cook said:


> I have my Father's last message to me before he died in 1997 on the mini cassette from my now defunct telephone answering machine. I can't play it any more but it comforts me to know it's there.



I bet you can find someone who can convert the message on the tape into a digital recording you can keep on your computer.


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## taxlady (Sep 9, 2014)

I don't think my parents ever left me any voice mail. It would be great to have that now that they are both gone.


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## licia (Sep 9, 2014)

We lived on a small farm when I was growing up but my dad worked in town. We ate dinner when he got home. We didn't have a separate dining room but a very large kitchen with a large dining area. Mom and Dad were quite strict about behavior at the table, but my two sisters and I sometimes got the giggles and had to sit on the back steps until we were over our tickling spell - then we would finish our dinner. The giggles never got us out of eating things we didn't like so we learned to like most everything. My mother always said I ate like a rabbit because I liked all veggies. She lived to be over 96 years old and just passed away a month ago.


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## Mad Cook (Sep 9, 2014)

licia said:


> We lived on a small farm when I was growing up but my dad worked in town. We ate dinner when he got home. We didn't have a separate dining room but a very large kitchen with a large dining area. Mom and Dad were quite strict about behavior at the table, but my two sisters and I sometimes got the giggles and had to sit on the back steps until we were over our tickling spell - then we would finish our dinner. The giggles never got us out of eating things we didn't like so we learned to like most everything. My mother always said I ate like a rabbit because I liked all veggies. She lived to be over 96 years old and just passed away a month ago.


Sending my sympathies on the recent loss of your mother.


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## Dawgluver (Sep 9, 2014)

My condolences, Licia.


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## Cooking Goddess (Sep 9, 2014)

buckytom said:


> cws, i thought i was the only nutcase that saves voicemails of loved ones, just for someday, just to hear their voice (again)...


You should know by now there are a lot of "nutcases" here at DC!  Even though we killed our land-line almost a year ago, the answering machine is still plugged in its spot. Every once in a while I'll play the silly messages our kids have left since we don't see them that often. I'd rather have them at the kitchen table munching on something I made. 

****************************



licia said:


> .... My mother always said I ate like a rabbit because I liked all veggies. She lived to be over 96 years old and just passed away a month ago.


Sorry about your Mom's passing. What a long life she had. Hopefully you're heart is full of wonderful memories.


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## buckytom (Sep 9, 2014)

my heartfelt condolences, licia.


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## Cheryl J (Sep 10, 2014)

Kayelle said:


> I don't know why I'm so late to this party! *What a great thread and now I've read all the 42 posts with smiles and nods. I feel I know all of you a little better. Great idea Cheryl !!*
> 
> I was raised in a little house that was attached to our little "Mom and Pop grocery/meat market". Food, and the preparation of it was our world. Our kitchen was the largest room in the house and the window over the sink looked out to the store. Mom or Dad would start something good smelling on the the stove for dinner, and open up the window to make the customers hungry. I think we pioneered the idea of samples given to customers. Both my parents were good cooks and since they never went somewhere else to work, they were always around. I took up cooking very early because of the circumstances. After the store closed at 7pm, the three of us would have dinner at the kitchen table. We always said grace before dinner, holding hands. I have wonderful memories of those days and I'm forever thankful for the parents I had. I was a late in life baby, and I lost them way too soon. To say I still miss them is a given.


 
Thanks so much, Kay.  I had no idea this thread would get so many responses, but I'm so glad it did! I also feel like I know many of you better. It's so interesting to read about everyone's main family meal time.  Sounds like we all did the best we could with what we had to work with. 

I just got off the phone with my oldest daughter who lives 2 hours away, down in Santa Clarita.  We talked a little about this this topic.  My grandchildren are ages 1, 3, and 5, and son-in-law is a firefighter who is often gone for days at a time.  They don't get regular family meals together and really treasure the times that they are able to.  When they can, it's whatever they can get - BBQ's in the backyard at noon, or picnic brunch at a park.  It's all good, like many have said, it's all about family.


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## Cheryl J (Sep 10, 2014)

Licia, condolences on the recent loss of your mother.


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## Addie (Sep 11, 2014)

My table was always filled with laughter and bickering. Maureen hated her bright blue eyes. She always wanted brown eyes like her sister and mother. So the other three would tease her and call her Little Miss Blue Eyes. This continued until she found their weakness and they didn't like the shoe on the other foot.

One night their father banged his fist on the table so hard the dishes jumped. "QUIET!" It was quiet for about a minute. then back to bedlam. He just looked at me and said it was better than his childhood at the table.

Every parent makes their share of mistakes. Some we regret, but hopefully we learned from them. To this day my kids talk fondly about their mealtimes and the food they ate. If their father and I did any one thing right it was that we gave them good memories of their mealtimes. 

Put all my kids at the same table today, and nothing has changed. Lots of chatter, laughter and still building memories for their children.


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## Addie (Sep 11, 2014)

Kayelle said:


> I don't know why I'm so late to this party! What a great thread and now I've read all the 42 posts with smiles and nods. I feel I know all of you a little better. Great idea Cheryl !!
> 
> I was raised in a little house that was attached to our little "Mom and Pop grocery/meat market". Food, and the preparation of it was our world. Our kitchen was the largest room in the house and the window over the sink looked out to the store. Mom or Dad would start something good smelling on the the stove for dinner, and open up the window to make the customers hungry. I think we pioneered the idea of samples given to customers. Both my parents were good cooks and since they never went somewhere else to work, they were always around. I took up cooking very early because of the circumstances. After the store closed at 7pm, the three of us would have dinner at the kitchen table. We always said grace before dinner, holding hands. I have wonderful memories of those days and I'm forever thankful for the parents I had. I was a late in life baby, and I lost them way too soon. To say I still miss them is a given.



In the section I raised my kids, there was and still is a store just like your parents had on almost every corner. Most of the families were in the lower spectrum of middle class. Hard working blue collar people. Really good people. They had a big tray of pizza on the counter. The kids would buy a couple of slices and eat them on the way to school. Some of their customers would run a tab until payday. And there was always that free piece of candy for the kid that didn't have any money. No family in the neighborhood went hungry as long as their was a store on the corner. The owner would put together a bag or two of groceries, and tell the mother, just to tide you over until payday. The owner knew though that the father lost his job, and who knew when his next payday was coming. There were and are a lot of folks who are very grateful for those little store owners like your parents. The are the center  and life's blood of a neighborhood.


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## Kayelle (Sep 11, 2014)

Oh Addie, I have so many memories of our little store and I can still see it in my mind's eye, complete with a big jar of pickled pigs feet on the meat case counter. There sure wasn't one on every corner or we wouldn't have been able to survive. I remember when the first "super market" came into the area and Daddy and I went there to scope out the prices and check out the place, with packaged meat and every color of bar soap. Remember colored bar soap? We sure didn't have shelf space for every color of bar soap or colored toilet paper either. What a horror that all their meat was packaged without a butcher like my Dad. 

It turned out that our loyal customers who had their personal charge accounts stayed with us even with the "super market" near by. We hardly ever had a problem with people paying at the end of the month. 
Dad had the best meat money could buy, and cut to order wrapped in butcher paper. Cooking advice was available for the asking. I often went with my Mom to deliver groceries to customers who needed the free service. Dad was too smart to give food away when people asked for it, but he often handed them a broom or had them stock some shelves in exchange. Oh how I miss them, and that childhood.
*Klemm's Loma Vista Market...circa 1946-1963.*


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## licia (Sep 11, 2014)

Thanks for the sympathy notes. I suppose eating veggies is what got Mom to her ripe old age.

BTW, I'm one of the "crazies" that keep phone messages from relatives. I had one of my dad and also my brother. Mom never left a message but I knew I'd better get back to her right away.


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## Addie (Sep 11, 2014)

Kayelle said:


> Oh Addie, I have so many memories of our little store and I can still see it in my mind's eye, complete with a big jar of pickled pigs feet on the meat case counter. There sure wasn't one on every corner or we wouldn't have been able to survive. I remember when the first "super market" came into the area and Daddy and I went there to scope out the prices and check out the place, with packaged meat and every color of bar soap. Remember colored bar soap? We sure didn't have shelf space for every color of bar soap or colored toilet paper either. What a horror that all their meat was packaged without a butcher like my Dad.
> 
> It turned out that our loyal customers who had their personal charge accounts stayed with us even with the "super market" near by. We hardly ever had a problem with people paying at the end of the month.
> Dad had the best meat money could buy, and cut to order wrapped in butcher paper. Cooking advice was available for the asking. I often went with my Mom to deliver groceries to customers who needed the free service. Dad was too smart to give food away when people asked for it, but he often handed them a broom or had them stock some shelves in exchange. Oh how I miss them, and that childhood.
> *Klemm's Loma Vista Market...circa 1946-1963.*



Kayelle, glad I could evoke your memories again.


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## Addie (Sep 11, 2014)

taxlady said:


> I don't think my parents ever left me any voice mail. It would be great to have that now that they are both gone.



I think if I were to hear my mother's voice right now, I would freak out and fall apart. The same with hearing my daughter Maureen's. I just wouldn't be able to handle it. For a while after my sister died, her phone was still connected. I would call it just to hear her voice. I don't think I could do it today.


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## Cheryl J (Apr 14, 2016)

Steve's thread about butter that went just a little off topic about 'eating when you're hungry' reminded me of this fun thread.  I just wanted to bump it up for new members who might want to join in and share stories. 

I grew up having dinner at a certain time every day which was quite rigid, but now enjoy a way different schedule...if you can even call it that. These days I really enjoy having a late breakfast, the main meal done and kitchen cleaned up by 4 or 5ish, and maybe a little snacking during the day.  Anyone else want to add to this thread from 2014?


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## Cooking Goddess (Apr 14, 2016)

We go "off topic" around here?  Huh, who would have thought?

Thanks for finding this, *Cheryl*. It will be fun to re-read...and find out how much we went OT in THIS one!


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## Cheryl J (Apr 14, 2016)

Some of the best reading goes off topic!


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## CrazyCatLady (Apr 14, 2016)

Dinner was 6:30pm sharp. My stupid older sister refused to come, and there were fights about that until she was out of the house and we could eat in peace.

Then, I loved dinnertime! Daddy would tell funny jokes, Mommy would talk about her students, and then I got to tell them about my day at school and ask them about some paper I was working on, or a report, or a test coming up.

Once, in 7th grade, I broke my arm in a skating field day. We all went to the skating rink, and the school bully tripped me and I fell and broke my left wrist. Daddy came to the hospital and took me home. I walked in, hurting ... and wow, Mommy had dinner going and it was her beef Stroganoff.

My favorite! That dinner was the best in the world! Mommy cut up the meat for me, and I swear I died and went to food Heaven!

And I got out of the hospital in time. Daddy got me home in time for dinner at 6:30 pm sharp.


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## Addie (Apr 14, 2016)

Right now I have Pirate living with me. We only eat when we are hungry. And that is not always at the same time for the both of us. But once a week, usually on a Sunday, we have a big meal and sit down together. Or at least we try to. It depends on if we feel like cooking and who is going to do it. Pirate always has breakfast, me never. He also tries to have something for lunch, never me. Then come supper and we each cook for ourselves. Most often two different meals. But we are polite enough to ask the other if they want any. 

My kitchen is very narrow, but long. Difficult to have two people cooking in there at the same time. He usually cooks his meal first, and me much later. Pirate often comments about the times around the childhood table. His memories are more romanticized than mine where when he was a kid. He thinks they were fun, I think of chaos only. Perhaps I have just become cynical as the years go by. But I do know that when the family gets together for holiday meals, they do have fun talking and sharing memories of their childhood.


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## rodentraiser (Apr 14, 2016)

Dinnertime was not pleasant when I was growing up. We ate in the kitchen about 5pm. My dad ate in the living room watching TV. I don't think I ever sat down to a meal with my dad. Probably just as well.

I was (still am) a picky eater and hated vegetables and milk. So most nights I would be made to sit at the table to eat my vegetables and drink my milk until my mom wanted to do dishes. Then if I hadn't finished dinner (I don't remember that I ever did), I was sent to bed early. 

I still eat very few vegetables and I haven't drunk a glass of milk for over forty years. Just goes to show that forcing a child to eat what they don't like never works.


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## PrincessFiona60 (Apr 15, 2016)

We girls fixed dinner and it was ready by the time my parents got home.  We all ate together. As we got older and have after school work or activities, the cooking schedule was bent and twisted as to who made dinner and who was at the table. I miss our family meals.


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## CraigC (Apr 15, 2016)

After my mother took my father back and my grandmother no longer lived with us, dinner mostly came in styro containers. When it was actually made at home, I wished it was from the styro container places. On the bright side, those meals ended up being the biggest spark for me to learn to cook.


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## Souschef (Apr 15, 2016)

My sister and I were fed first, before my dad got home, because we had a really tiny kitchen. There was just enough room for a small kitchen table.
My mom was a lousy cook, and my dad liked Green Giant french cut green beans from a can.
He needed all his meat well done, and could not abide lamb. Thank goodness that did not affect me. My motto now is, if it does not move I will try it once.


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## jd_1138 (Apr 15, 2016)

We ate around the kitchen table and had to finish up everything or else we couldn't leave the table.  I remember sitting there for an hour after everyone else was done because I didn't want to finish my peas.    Now I love peas.

My dad came home from work at 5:30 (mechanic for the county bus dept).  We ate at 6 sharp and my mom was a stay at home mom, so we were like the Brady Bunch (4 kids, not 6).  Even had the same station wagon (Plymouth Fury Suburban 9 passenger).


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## CWS4322 (Apr 16, 2016)

I know this is an old post. I thought every one ate in the kitchen at 6:30 and went to bed at 7:30. We only ate at the table w our parents on holidays, that is until they moved when I was 7:30--then they had no choice!!!


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## Andy M. (Apr 16, 2016)

I've noticed that a number of us commented that we weren't allowed to leave the table until we finished our meal. I wonder how many of those people treated their own children the same way? Did you force your children to stay at the table until they clean their plates or were you more lenient than your own parents?


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## jd_1138 (Apr 16, 2016)

Andy M. said:


> I've noticed that a number of us commented that we weren't allowed to leave the table until we finished our meal. I wonder how many of those people treated their own children the same way? Did you force your children to stay at the table until they clean their plates or were you more lenient than your own parents?



Now it seems the inmates run the asylum.  And many kids are allowed to eat whatever and whenever they want -- chicken nuggets, french fries, ketchup.  I know parents who have to force them to drink a nutrition shake (for elderly people) so they won't get scurvy.


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## Dawgluver (Apr 16, 2016)

I would never force a child to sit until they cleaned their plate.  Kids will eat when they need to, and will not starve.

I remember when I was a "mascot" for the local HS cheerleading squad, I was about 4 or 5 years old, and prior to the game, was faced with a bowl of chili I really didn't like.  Mom insisted that I wouldn't get to go to the game unless I finished it.  I waited her out.

I think parenting feeding methods have changed a lot over the years, thank goodness.


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## Cheryl J (Apr 16, 2016)

I wouldn't have dreamed of forcing my girls to clean their plates.  Neither do they, now that they're grown with children of their own. 

When my girls got old enough to serve themselves at the table, I did encourage them to not load up their plate sky high the first time.  If they wanted more, there was always seconds. 

I usually encouraged them to at least try *one* bite of a new food, and if they didn't like it, that was fine.  I'd just try again in a few months or so.


I agree Dawg, I think things have changed over the years in that respect, I like to think it's for the better, too.


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## Kayelle (Apr 16, 2016)

I used the three bite rule with my kids, before they could proclaim they didn't like it.

As for me, I grew up with what many would consider "icky" foods like kidney, tongue, brains, liver all due to being a butchers daughter. I never thought a thing about it until I was old enough to find out not everybody ate those things. I was never forced to eat anything either, except for the "three bite" rule. Mama said the 1st was for bravery, the 2nd for the taste buds, and the 3rd for the opinion. Smart woman she was.


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## CrazyCatLady (Apr 16, 2016)

When I was a Mom, Jennifer was able to leave the table when she finished her meal. But she was such an active kid, loved to eat, so usually she was done before we were, even with second helpings. 

But she aways had a clean plate, and asked to be excused. She put her plates in the sink, and always came back to help with cleaning up. To this day, she does the same with my grandson, and he loves to eat too. 

Monster eaters!


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## taxlady (Apr 16, 2016)

My sister and I ate at the kitchen table while our parents ate in the family room, watching the news. We all ate at the dining table on holidays and special occasions.

My mum was considered too lenient because she never tried to force us to eat. Her theory was that it would just teach us a method of aggravating parents. We had to taste everything. If we said we were too full to eat everything on the plate, then we had to eat some of everything or no dessert. If she hadn't made that rule, both my sister and I would have eaten all the meat and then asked for dessert.  

There was one time that my sister and I didn't want to finish our oatmeal. I have no idea why. I'm pretty sure my mum tasted it to make sure there wasn't anything wrong with it. She said, "Fine, I'll fry it up for lunch. You aren't getting anything else to eat until it's finished." She did. We hated it, but ate it.


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## CWS4322 (Apr 17, 2016)

CWS4322 said:


> I know this is an old post. I thought every one ate in the kitchen at 6:30 and went to bed at 7:30. We only ate at the table w our parents on holidays, that is until they moved when I was 7:30--then they had no choice!!!


we didn't eat the same food as our parents (they ate after we were in bed). We ate kid--grilled cheese sandwiches, spaghetti, sardines and crackers. I don't renember any clean your plate rules. I do remember we fought a lot -- mostly during breakfast. We ate in the kitchen, they ate in the dining roim. It is amazing I have any table manners at all.


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## Dawgluver (Apr 17, 2016)

I learned early on to sneakily spit whatever I didn't like into a napkin, then excuse myself to go to the bathroom, where napkin and contents got flushed.  We also had an accommodating cocker spaniel who liked to hang out under the table at dinner time and was quite helpful.


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## Addie (Apr 17, 2016)

The main reason I insisted the whole family sit down to eat was to teach the kids their necessary social graces and manners. Elbows off the table, please pass the ....., thank you, etc. It started in the high chair. It was always pulled up to the table until the child was old enough for a chair. 

Now it is the grandchildren who have had the same practices passed on down to them. When my grandson wanted to have the holiday meal in his house, he wasn't sure if he wanted to serve buffet style or a sit down. Then he remembered all the fun of the family sitting at the table. His girlfriend was so surprised at how great a family meal could be. In her house, her father was in prison and her mother often gave the kids money to go buy something to eat. The next holiday, she wanted to repeat the meal, and this time she invited her mother. Her mother complimented the both of them for a great time and excellent meal. For the next six months we kept hearing about what her mother said to them. Yeah, it is as always, all about family.


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