Chicken Chronicles

[CWS4322]

We keep telling her we would buy it. My favorite visual is the hens on the tractor and canoe.

PF--You'd really like to see them "scrammin" the patio door--there were 12 of them out there yesterday--Myrtle in the lead--pecking at the door--DEMANDING more homestyle biscuits. The problem is that as fun as it is to watch them attack the biscuits, some of them are getting a wee bit plump so I've had to cut them back...Myrtle is organizing a union...I know she is--if I won't "pay" them with more biscuits, she's threatening that the egg production crew will go on strike........and, Harriet and Myrtle are refusing to wear their winter jackets...oh, what is a chicken keeper to do when the hens go on strike....pace, pace, pace, pace, pace...run in circles, scream and shout...can I afford to pay them with more biscuits? Will they survive the winter without their coats? Run in circles, scream and shout....

 

[CWS4322]

I've read this thread completely twice now. Mrs D thinks I have lost it. (I,m almost peeing my pants laughing so much) If this was in book form I would buy it. You certainly have the gift of turning every day situations into a comical and entertaining venue for us all to share.

Who knew having chickens was so much fun....

 

[PrincessFiona60]

Create a biscuit dispenser, of course you would have to keep it topped up...

Not cold enough for coats, yet...

 

[CWS4322]

Scenario: All the ladies in a circle in and around their sand box (one of the renovations in the coop the Big Chicken had to "spring" for the ladies comfort this winter).

Myrtle: Listen up, ladies, we've been good egg producers, and it is about time the Big Chicken recognizes our value and pays us for what we're worth. I say we stop laying unless she provides at least 1/2 biscuit to each of us each morning.

Hear hear! (cluck-cluck-cluck!!!)

From the crowd: What about the little ladies? They're not laying yet, why should they get biscuits?

A voice from the crowd: Until they produce an egg a day, they should be on probation, 1/8 biscuit for each egg laid for the first three months.

Cluck-cluck-cluck.

Myrtle: Okay, ladies, let's go tell the Big Chicken we won't lay any more eggs unless we're paid a fair wage.

Eggna: AWK!! AWK!!! Oops, I couldn't help it.

Daylight fades to night...

 

[Addie]

You should tell them the story of what happens to lobsters. And that if you weren't working, you would come for a visit and bring some of them with you. Let them think you are going to try and work it into your schedule. After all I would love to meet them. That should stop all that nonsense of stopping laying eggs.

 

[PrincessFiona60]

ROFL!!!

 

[Rocket_J_Dawg]

Scenario: All the ladies in a circle in and around their sand box (one of the renovations in the coop the Big Chicken had to "spring" for the ladies comfort this winter).

Myrtle: Listen up, ladies, we've been good egg producers, and it is about time the Big Chicken recognizes our value and pays us for what we're worth. I say we stop laying unless she provides at least 1/2 biscuit to each of us each morning.

Hear hear! (cluck-cluck-cluck!!!)

From the crowd: What about the little ladies? They're not laying yet, why should they get biscuits?

A voice from the crowd: Until they produce an egg a day, they should be on probation, 1/8 biscuit for each egg laid for the first three months.

Cluck-cluck-cluck.

Myrtle: Okay, ladies, let's go tell the Big Chicken we won't lay any more eggs unless we're paid a fair wage.

Eggna: AWK!! AWK!!! Oops, I couldn't help it.

Daylight fades to night...

 

[Toffiffeezz]

Long time reader, just too shy to jump in I suppose. I adore this thread and hearing all about your girls

 

[CWS4322]

Eggna: "Myrtle, why is the Big Chicken washing the crate? Are we going on a road trip? I love to ride in the car!"

Myrtle: "I heard her tell the other Big Chicken that there were some youngin's that needed a home."

Ethel: "What?!! More chicks? The little ladies still aren't laying despite our coaching. What is the Big Chicken thinking? There won't be enough biscuits to put more chicks on probation."

Harriet: "What? Big Chickens have the capacity to think?"

Prudence: "No, they don't--wait a sec while Chikipedia loads...darn, the link is down. But I know I read it on Chikipedia that Big Chickens can't think..."

Eggatha: "Prudence, you spend way too much time on the Internet...that's probably why you don't have a toenail on that one foot..."

Prudence: "That's from trying to scratch feed out of the snow. Why do we live where there is winter?"

Eggatha: "Chikipedia claims we are winter hardy...Bullchicken! I want to live in Florida!"

Eggna: "Where's Florida?"

Myrtle: "Maybe that's why she's washing the crate--she's taking us south for the winter."

Cluck-cluck-hooray!!!!! No snow!!!!

 

[Addie]

I can't wait to see to hear of their reaction when that first snow comes and they are still right there. And now the clocks are going back, so there will be less eggs. They will think it is because it is their way of punishing you for not taking them to Florida. I can just hear Myrtle.

"Okay girls, less eggs for the two Big Chickens. They will be sorry they are making us stay here in the cold. Less eggs until the warm weather comes. That will show the Big Chicken!"

 

[PrincessFiona60]

You getting the "free to good home" chickens????

 

[CWS4322]

No--the person had already given them away. However, we did get seven (!) little ladies yesterday--three lovely RIRs, a Chantecler (rare Canadian breed) and three baby Buff Orpingtons (3 months old). I assumed that they had been raised together so only brought the one dog crate. The baby buffs (to differentiate them from Prudence and Aggatha) road home in a box on my lap. Of course I opened the box so they could watch the countryside passing them by. The conversation went something like this:

Baby Buff #1: Are we there yet?
Baby Buff #2: Wow--I've never flown this fast before.
Baby Buff #3: I can't look!
Baby Buff #1: Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

 

[Addie]

So what do they think of their new home? Sounds like they are good travelers.

 

[PrincessFiona60]

Only reason I could see you cleaning a crate...and not taking your girls for a ride. Baby Buffs...funny!

 

[CWS4322]

So what do they think of their new home? Sounds like they are good travelers.

They are settling in. The RIRs are establishing pecking order over the ones hatched here in June (the new gals are about ready to lay). The Baby Buffs are hanging out close to the coop. Hopefully I can get them all back in tonight. I brought them out to the coop after everyone else was settled for the night.

It is a lovely sunny day, so all the ladies are out enjoying the weather and foraging (which takes on a different meaning when the Big Chicken tosses biscuits out on the lawn...).

 

[Rocket_J_Dawg]

I can't help but wonder if the girls have their coop decorated for Christmas. Maybe a Cadbury cream egg or two.

 

[Dawgluver]

 

[CWS4322]

It was a hard winter for the girls--I lost several of them, but Myrtle is still with me. She doesn't lay a lot of eggs any more--she's 4 years old now. When she does lay an egg--it is about 100-120 g and a double yolker. Myrtle is working on becoming a therapy chicken. A friend of mine has agoraphobia but wanted a vegetable garden planted. He asked if I would plant if for him (he's getting better--can go outside his house but that is it). He asked if Myrtle could come over (I bring him eggs every couple of weeks and he usually gets one of Myrtle's eggs). Sunday morning, I feed the birds at 6:30...
At 8:30, I stood on the deck and called Myrtle.

"Myrtle, Myrtle, do you want to go for a ride?"

"What? A ride? Where?"

"XXXX wants help planting his garden."

"Will there be WORMS?"

"There will be worms, but you can't eat the seeds."

"WORMS!!! I'm so there!"

So Myrtle and I walked to the car, she hopped in, thought she should ride on the dashboard...

"Myrtle, not there, get on my lap."

"Why can't I ride here?"

"I can't see through you."

"Oh, alright..."

So Myrtle rode on my lap to my friend's house. There she dug earthworms, was treated to sunflower seed and cantaloupe, and it was such a nice day, I let her hang her head out the window on the way home. Honest, it wasn't my fault that black Toyota went in the ditch when the driver was distracted by Myrtle. And yes, all the others were jealous when Myrtle told them about the worms, sunflower seeds, and cantaloupe...not to mention riding in the car (and no, she did not poop in the car).

 

[Addie]

It is so good to see the girls are back. I have missed them. Summer is coming. Have you gotten them their bathing suits?

 

[CWS4322]

It is so good to see the girls are back. I have missed them. Summer is coming. Have you gotten them their bathing suits?

No, but Myrtle did check out the salt water pool at my friend's house...

"Hmmmmm...wonder why she didn't tell me to bring my chickini?" (Myrtle would wear a chickini)
"Myrtle, don't go there!"
"What? You think I am too shy to skinny dip?"
"Myrtle! Myrtle!"
"She's such a mother hen...okay...but next time, I'm bringing my chickini."