Hi Alix! You know you are not supposed to do that! So glad you were not hurt!
Petty Vents
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What PF said. Glad you only did minimal damage to yourself, Alix.
CWS4322
Chef Extraordinaire
So, since my Mom died and since my brother is dead, I am left picking up the pieces. Not only that, I am trying to figure out how to live without either of them and find the new dynamic between the two of us. The other morning when I came up the stairs (I live in the bat cave--a/k/a the walk-out basement). He met me at the top of the stairs and said, "Oh, hi! You're still here?" "Yeah, Dad, I am still here." "I thought you left." "Nooooooo…." later he tried to hang his jacket in the broom closet. "Dad, what are you doing?" "Hanging up my jacket, what does it look like I'm doing?" "Which closet is that?" "Oh, wrong closet." Yeah, and he thinks he can live alone...
My Mom gave my deceased brother my Dad's Rolex watch. I brought it back when my brother died. The other night my Dad woke me up at 2:00 a.m.--couldn't find his Rolex. ""Help me find my Rolex.""I gave it back to you." "I know you did, I just can't find it.""Dad, it is 2:00 a.m." "I need it now." "You probably [if you had any sense--my cartoon bubble said] put it in the safety deposit box." In the meantime, until 4:00 a.m., we had to empty all his dresser drawers, the closet, check his shaving kit, etc., etc. The next morning, he went to the SD, he looked, it is not there. He brought back my Mom's pearl necklace. "I have no idea where your Mom got this." I was with him when he bought that for her Christmas present one year. "I never bought her that." He "thinks" he hid his watch in the basement, but he can't remember where. "Why would you hide it in the basement when you have a SD box?" "So you wouldn't steal it." "Excuse me, I brought it back and gave it to you. Why would I steal it--I could have told you I didn't find it when I cleaned out my brother's apartment [except Mom didn't give my brother the certificate--he wanted to sell it and get another one, but without the certificate, he didn't think he could get away with that]." Is this dementia or paranoia? As if "stealing" my Dad's $5K watch was first and foremost on my mind.
My Mom gave my deceased brother my Dad's Rolex watch. I brought it back when my brother died. The other night my Dad woke me up at 2:00 a.m.--couldn't find his Rolex. ""Help me find my Rolex.""I gave it back to you." "I know you did, I just can't find it.""Dad, it is 2:00 a.m." "I need it now." "You probably [if you had any sense--my cartoon bubble said] put it in the safety deposit box." In the meantime, until 4:00 a.m., we had to empty all his dresser drawers, the closet, check his shaving kit, etc., etc. The next morning, he went to the SD, he looked, it is not there. He brought back my Mom's pearl necklace. "I have no idea where your Mom got this." I was with him when he bought that for her Christmas present one year. "I never bought her that." He "thinks" he hid his watch in the basement, but he can't remember where. "Why would you hide it in the basement when you have a SD box?" "So you wouldn't steal it." "Excuse me, I brought it back and gave it to you. Why would I steal it--I could have told you I didn't find it when I cleaned out my brother's apartment [except Mom didn't give my brother the certificate--he wanted to sell it and get another one, but without the certificate, he didn't think he could get away with that]." Is this dementia or paranoia? As if "stealing" my Dad's $5K watch was first and foremost on my mind.
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Paranoia comes with Dementia, it's not going to get better. "Losing" things is normal, unfortunately. Is your Dad still driving? Maybe have one of his friends pick him up.
CWS4322
Chef Extraordinaire
You're preaching to the choir, PF. I know it won't get better. I've been down this road, I recognize the landmarks and the curves along the way. I know it will only get worse and I am torn--I want my life back, but I don't want to leave him. Hiding things is also part of it. I remember finding things in odd places as my Mom's mind slipped away and she was still mobile. After her stroke in 2016, we were blessed she was non-ambulatory--she couldn't get out of bed and wander. He is still driving--most of the time, I go with him. He had to go to Fargo a couple of weeks ago, he had a VA volunteer driver. I am encouraging him to prevail on that service. I have been down this road. Only this time, I don't have to convince my brother and my Dad. I am the one who is struggling with the signs. Still wondering what he did with his Rolex. I know I don't have it, nor have I seen it since May 29, 2016 when I took it off my wrist and gave it back to him. I probably should have left it in my SD box. He's already fretting that he won't be able to get his license renewed in October. He lives in the middle of nowhere-17 miles from town on 23 acres. Thank goodness, he has signed his medical directive and I will have power of attorney if he is no longer able to handle his affairs, I just don't want to have to take it to court. I dreamt my Mom visited me the other night--I could feel her hand holding mine, I swear I felt her hand brush the hair away from my forehead. "Honey bunny. you'll be okay."
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How comforting. I too, wish you to be happy and not so stressed. I wish there was something I could do for you, instead of being a sounding board for things you already know. Hugs, Love You!
CWS4322
Chef Extraordinaire
Love you back to the north side of heaven. Being a sounding board is good, PF. Need that.
CWS4322
Chef Extraordinaire
Did I mention my new super power? I can break gaskets on kitchen sinks! When I cleaned under the kitchen sink last night, something I do regularly, I noticed that there was moisture on the pipe above the trap. So, being the ever conscientious daughter, I placed a cup underneath to see if it was my imagination or if the sink was dripping it was. So I pointed this out to my Dad and when I touched the part that comes down from the drain to the trap, it came apart. Who knew I had such super powers. Normal people would have gasket material and silicon/plumber's paste in the house. Not my Dad. No, call a plumber to fix it. Dad, we can fix this. No, you broke it. Right, I have those kind of super powers. WHERE THE DEVIL IS MY CAPE??? Oops, it's in Ontario, darn. Oh and the reason? Because I have been filling the sink with water and washing the dishes instead of using the DW. I didn't go to kindergarten, so I must have missed that kitchen sinks aren't meant to be filled with water? Hello!
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OP
OP
cws4322, you are having a TIME!
Keep venting, it will keep you sane. I've been there and this phase is most unpleasant. I'm now nearing the end of that long road with Mom. She's been in assisted living for some time and we are just now on the waiting list for higher level care. Somewhere around the 5 year mark the nasty went away and the sweetness returned. Sure didn't erase those years of "F---y---!" though.
Sending you hugs and a couple of angels. One for patience and one for peace.
Keep venting, it will keep you sane. I've been there and this phase is most unpleasant. I'm now nearing the end of that long road with Mom. She's been in assisted living for some time and we are just now on the waiting list for higher level care. Somewhere around the 5 year mark the nasty went away and the sweetness returned. Sure didn't erase those years of "F---y---!" though.
Sending you hugs and a couple of angels. One for patience and one for peace.
CWS4322
Chef Extraordinaire
Most unpleasant is one of saying it. A friend asked me why are you giving up your life? My answer was because I love them more. I have a band of angels behind me--I couldn't do this without my cousins who make sure I get out fishing when at LOW and prop me up when I fall. Maybe those 4" stilettos aren't the shoes I should wear when I go out in public. Forget the cape--where the bleep is my halo?
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CWS4322
Chef Extraordinaire
Organizing my Mom's memorial has been stressful. I have to meet with the vicar today. I have my Mom's nursing cap and her pin. Gotta take the nursing cap to the drycleaner to get it starched and shaped, taking her pin to my friend who is a jeweler to get it all shined up. Back in those days, the pins were sterling. I have her red hat, her mink cap, and her golf hat. Those are going on the table in front of pictures of her. I was going to wear her red hat, a black dress, and purple (my Dad hates purple) shoes, but maybe just the black dress and purple shoes...and I won't be wearing mascara--Mom always told me if you know you are gonna cry, don't wear mascara.
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CWS4322
Chef Extraordinaire
While I met with the vicar (doesn't that sound like a sentence out of an English mystery novel?) my Dad was curling in the "old geezer league." I have been waiting for him to fall on the ice. Well, today was the day. Just got back from ER. He had a CT scan and blood work, no signs of a bleed yet--CHI. Of course, had there been signs of a brain bleed, we would have had to put a straight-jacket on him to stay overnight for observation. Never a dull moment. Fortunately, the surgeon for whom my Mom worked also curls in that league. My Dad got immediate medical attention. When I got there, Dr. T. gave me hand signals from the ice (he was still curling) to drive Dad to ER and get him checked out. Getting Dad to agree to that was a bit of a struggle--he wanted to pick up a few things at Walmart. Excuse me, your head is bleeding. We are going to the ER. I think they (the ER admitting folks) should have another color of bracelet--a separate color to indicate STUBBORN OLD GOAT.
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CWS, it never stops, eh? I hope your dad is okay.
CWS4322
Chef Extraordinaire
So far, he is. There is NO way I am letting him go to the base (GF) tomorrow by himself (approx. 5 hr R/T). It will stop someday, not looking forward to that day.
roadfix
Chef Extraordinaire
Costco was out of toilet paper, again.
We have a Stubborn Old Goat, too. He fell and broke his neck and has to wear a cervical collar for the rest of his life. When we caution him to use his walker, he says, "What's the worse that can happen? I fall down and break my neck?" Aside from trying to keep the collar on him, he also has dementia.
Just think, my office is located on the Alzheimer's Unit. It is a real circus most days.
Tell me this...is it okay if I sit in my house and start barking back at the dog next door when he has been going on for three hours? Asking for a friend...
Of course it is. I just don't recommend it. Most dogs will just be encouraged to bark back more.
But, he's already keeping me awake and no sign of the owners so I can have a chat with them. No animal control in my little town and county won't come out for a barking dog.
GotGarlic
Chef Extraordinaire
Spray it with the hose.
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