Adventures With Mom

[Cooking Goddess]

I feel so bad for those of you dealing with family members with memory issues. My Mom developed immediate short term memory issues after a surgical misshap when she had bypass surgery at age 70. While she did learn to adapt and did better over time, she was still never as sharp as before the surgery. It was hard on both of us..

I've told Loverly that if I ever have serious memory issues, just take me for a long walk into the woods...then run like crazy and leave me behind. LOL! Fortunately, she keeps telling me that she would never do that. So far...

 

[Andy M.]

...I've told Loverly that if I ever have serious memory issues, just take me for a long walk into the woods...then run like crazy and leave me behind. LOL! Fortunately, she keeps telling me that she would never do that. So far...

At least that's what she tells you.

 

[Kaneohegirlinaz]

I feel so bad for those of you dealing with family members with memory issues. My Mom developed immediate short term memory issues after a surgical misshap when she had bypass surgery at age 70. While she did learn to adapt and did better over time, she was still never as sharp as before the surgery. It was hard on both of us..

I've told Loverly that if I ever have serious memory issues, just take me for a long walk into the woods...then run like crazy and leave me behind. LOL! Fortunately, she keeps telling me that she would never do that. So far...

Heh, ya neva know, maybe Goober will take you for a walk

 

[dragnlaw]

LOL, my thoughts exactly Andy!

I'm very glad I don't have to deal with things like that, I so feel for you all.

I'm also very aware that it's going to perhaps be me on that end of the stick.

 

[Kaneohegirlinaz]

Five Month Marker In Mom’s New Digs

Yup, it’s been a little more than five months since Mom moved into her on apartment and has been doing pretty well I’d say.

I was headed to her apartment the other day and got into the elevator with the facilities Executive Chef, Robert, very nice guy.
I said, “My Mother really is enjoying your food compared to mine, except for the vegetables. She told me that they’re cooked to long.”
Robert said that this is a struggle for him, as they’re either too tough or to mushy for folks here, it’s a balancing act for him.
In fact, today he’s putting on a Luau as the dinner special.
Mom said that they’ve got up decorations, giving out plastic flower leis and one of the gals from the front office who is also from Hawaii will be entertaining the folks with music and hula with her halau (hula troop)!

Of course, there is a small fly in the ointment.
Mom has been using the community bus that runs every Monday, Wednesday and Friday to the various stores in the area.
Mom hates, I mean detests grocery shopping.
Now mind you, when she lived with us, she went each and every time with me that I went and loved it, so I offered to take her myself and then run some other errands that she needed to do.
I have made mention to Mom several times that she could have her groceries delivered, but all she kept saying was “I can’t remember my password for Krogers.” (aka Fry’s in the West) *shrug*

As we were shopping for her the other day, she was complaining about something or another and I said, “Ya know Mom, I think this is your last time grocery shopping. Let me order everything for you online and have it delivered.”
Her response, “okay”
Mom is having some mobility issues and I think walking that much is too painful for her, but won’t say anything.

So, I spent today putting together a “list” online of all of the items that she has purchased in the past, which wasn’t much since I bring her homemade food or take her out to eat... but I think I’ve got this wired.
I have all of her credit card info that she had given me years ago to pay for things for her; I’ll simply check in with her maybe once a week, see what she’s out of.

When I dropped Mom back off at her apartment the other day, I went over to the front desk to inquire as to how it works with grocery deliveries.
Man, this is sweet!
All deliveries are brought to the front desk and the complementary Valet will bring them up to her!!!!
In my book, that’s a win-win for everyone!

 

[Kaneohegirlinaz]

The last time I dropped Mom off at her apartment after a “it’s all about Mom day”, I gave her a big hug and MAN! She has lost some more weight and not in a good way.

I could feel every single bloody bone on her, she’s way too thin!

I told DH when I got home and we’ve come to the conclusion that I need to make sure that she’s eating, `cuz I know damn well she’s not. When I was putting away here groceries, she only had snack types of foods. Crackers, Cookies, Ice Cream – junk basically.

What I’m going to do from now on is make a lot and I mean a lot more prepared meals myself for her, the kind I know she likes and will eat by simply putting into the microwave oven.



I found some great what I’m calling Bento Box style containers at of all places, the Dollar Store! I got 2 of each of these different styles for $1.25USD. They’re pretty sturdy and it seems as though Mom could wash these in the top rack of our automatic dish washer and we could use them several times.



I’m deliberately making extra of each of our meals for her.



The other night I made a huge favorite for all of us, Zippy’s (a favorite restaurant back home in Hawaii-I bring back the Chili frozen) Chili Frank Plate Deluxe. I called Mom the following morning and said “I have to come into town later this afternoon and I want to drop off dinner for you.” Just a quick drive by.

The next day I called her just to check in on her and she said she didn’t wait for dinner, she ate half of her bento box for lunch and the other later for dinner, “that was so good baby, you know what I like.” Yes, why yes I do mommy.

Also, she loves to go out to eat and we have so many mom & pop types of places here in Cowboyville and she’s loved each and every one that I’ve taken her to.

I made up a list of different restaurants to take Mom to and we haven’t even made a small dent in the list. On top of that, my Neighborhood Gal Pals adore Mom and love to go out to linner (late lunch/early dinner) with “Ruth”, this is what they call her.

Oh, wait … I didn’t tell you that story.

Mister Next Door Neighbor is extremely hard of hearing. When he was first introduced to my Mother, he insisted that her name was Ruth and still calls her this... it’s become a real giggle for all of us and Mom is a good sport and goes along with him... her name is not Ruth by the way.

… and the adventure continues.

 

[GinnyPNW]

Bless you for being an observant daughter and stepping up, yet again! You're adding bricks to your mansion in Heaven!

 

[Kaneohegirlinaz]

Yeah, Great!

My phone rang last week and it was Mom, she rarely calls me!
“I’m sick again”.
I called her PCP and got Mom into to see her, no ER this time thank you.
She did some labs and come to find out Mom hasn’t been taking her medication for GERD. She decided on her own to stop taking it, “I’m fine.” Well, no she’s not.
It was so bad that she was sick for 2 days. On top of all of this, she had a UTI and needed to take anti-biotics for a weeks course.

SO!

We got her all squared away.

I got an email from Mom, again something she doesn’t do, saying that she promised to not call me again about being sick. I responded to her by assuring her she can call me any time, for anything!!

Now here we are a week later and my phone rings again.

“Can you still go grocery shopping for me?”
I had offered many times to order her groceries online, pay for it with her credit card and I could pick it up and bring it over. She has mobility issues and frankly hates to grocery shop.

Sure Mom, let me get a pen.

Once she had given me her order, she then said that she had been in bed so sick from “those pills that lady doctor gave me, I never want to take those again!”
She had been ill the entire week and didn’t tell me, it was all I could do to keep my cool with her on the phone.
I was madder at myself for not checking up on her during that week!
I got busy and it seems to me that Mom is capable to deal with what she needs to … obviously not!

“MOM! Why didn’t you call me and tell me or for that matter call your PCP?!”

Well, that’s water under the bridge now, she says she’s fine, but I’m going over to her apartment tomorrow to take her groceries and check up on her.

DH and I just had a very long discussion about Mom, and granted, she does not quality for Assisted Living, yet. She can still preform her daily needs like, personal hygiene, getting up and down from the bed/chair/etc, feeding herself, those types of things. I just need to be checking on her more often, because she’s not telling me things.

I’m over whelmed ...

 

[taxlady]

When my mum was in assisted living, the place had many different levels of assistance. Some people got all sorts of care. Other people made their own meals most of the time, but had a meal in the dining room when they didn't feel like cooking or felt more social. They were mostly there so they wouldn't have to move when they eventually would need more care.

 

[Kaneohegirlinaz]

When my mum was in assisted living, the place had many different levels of assistance. Some people got all sorts of care. Other people made their own meals most of the time, but had a meal in the dining room when they didn't feel like cooking or felt more social. They were mostly there so they wouldn't have to move when they eventually would need more care.

That's how Mom's place is too.
I think she'll do fine, for now, I just need to check up on her more often.

 

[Kaneohegirlinaz]

It’s Been One Year!

Can you believe it? We moved my Mother out of California and closer to us here in Arizona a year ago, WOW!

She’s been living on her own again for 7 months and so far, so good. We’ve had a few hiccups along the way, but all-in-all I think it’s a good thing.

I finally convinced Mom to let me order her groceries and necessities online, pay for them with her credit card, I do a curbside pick-up, take them over to her apartment and put them all away for her. Which is what we did today.

*Side note: she was a little light on the grocery list she gave me the other day, mainly `cuz I had snooped again in her larder and knew she needed a bit more food than what she thought

DH came with me this time and he was just amazed at how efficient this works out to be.

“You mean that you just pull in, pop the back gate and they put your order in the car for you? WOW! Why don’t you do this for us?”

Well, he seems to forget that when we were ill, I did do that, but not now. I enjoy grocery shopping.

As we were putting her things away today, DH was saying to Mom how great it is to have this service.

Mom got super animated, “YES! It’s really for people for like me who HATE to shop, I hate it!”

I could take it a step farther, if need be, and have her groceries delivered to the Senior Community for free. Walmart will bring her groceries to the front desk and the Valet will bring them up to her apartment... she doesn’t have to do anything but put them away!

If for some reason I couldn’t bring her order to her, then for sure I’d utilize Walmart. The Kroger’s that she likes charges $9.95 to deliver – no thanks – curbside pick though is free.

 

[Kaneohegirlinaz]

Been awhile ...

Well, I caved.

Mom needed a grocery run, but what with all the chaos we’ve got going on with poor DH’s heart issues, I just had to do a delivery order for Mom.

She’s not exactly computer savvy and she HATES to grocery shop --- as I’ve mentioned before, it’s more of a mobility issue that she has and refuses to admit to.

I was a bit leery of using the local Kroger’s for her order, but the items that she had requested were better attainable from Fry’s aka Kroger’s.

The delivery vehicle if you will was Instacart and I’m not super familiar with them, but here goes.
I placed the order online with Kroger’s and set up the delivery time for early afternoon for her convenience.

I received text messages along the way, updating me as to the progress of the order, substitutions, etc.

Her groceries were delivered promptly to the Senior Community’s front desk and the staff took her things up to her apartment at no charge to her --- DONE!

Granted, we paid an extra $9.95 + tip to the Instacart driver for this service, but given the circumstance, it was well worth it.

 

[dragnlaw]

At least you know you can be satisfied it went without a hiccup. You can still do the Walmart thing - when you have time .

The Kroger thing is probably worth that extra $10. in your time.

 

[Kaneohegirlinaz]

You said it @dragnlaw !!!
I could have ordered from Walmart and had it delivered for free, but the things that she wanted, they don't carry ... so ...

 

[Kaneohegirlinaz]

Mom’s birthday was yesterday, and what with all of this S#!+ that DH and I have been going through, Mom said, “Let’s reschedule this entire month for a better time.”

We had made planed to take Mom out to a lovely linner (late lunch/early dinner) but DH is sick, and we didn’t want to spread his germs around. I mean it’s bad enough that I have to fight them off!
Both DH and I felt just awful that we couldn’t celebrate her day with her, but she said that she had made alternate plans with her friends.

I just couldn’t let the day go by without going over to Mom ‘s place to wish her a Happy Birthday in person. So, I gathered up her gifts (See’s Candies Molasses Chips and that cute Gnome I bought) along with a flower arrangement that I made for her. I “masked up” and stood outside her door, a good eight feet away in the hallway, knocked on her door and started singing “Happy Birthday” to her.

A bunch of folks came out of the adjoining apartments and clapped when I was finished and wished Mom a Happy Birthday as well.
Mom was tickled!

She opened her gifts, we chatted for a bit, but her favorite part of the visit was the food that I had brought her. Mom had requested my Stuffing Casserole made with Portuguese Sausage aka Linguica that I them make into Stuffin’ Muffins that are frozen to later consumption. That with a fried Egg and that’s a meal! (I brought her other things as well )

Hauoli la hanau Mommy!!

 

[Kaneohegirlinaz]

At the end of November, during all the hop-la having to do with my DH, Mom had her bi-annual dental hygiene appointment and took “The Bus” provided by her Senior Living Community.

Not too terribly long before that. Mom had made mention that when she bit down on her “bridge”, it kinda-sorta hurt.
“Mom, that sounds like a broken tooth, be sure to bring that up at your appointment.”

Sure enough, one of the anchor teeth had fractured completely at the gum line and needs to be extracted --- GREAT!
Mom wanted to wait to have this down until after the new year, which made perfect sense to me.

Well, last Friday was the day!

I insisted that Mom stay with us for a few days just to make sure that she was okey-dokey.

She did well during the procedure but seemed worn out by it all.

As soon as I got her back to our place, she went straight to her room and laid down... Mom NEVER lays down during the day, NEVER!

She slept from about 1pm all the way to 6pm, WOW !!!

We all had dinner together and then watched a movie. I made Ice Cream Sundaes all around and then went to bed about 930pm.

Mom didn’t get up the next morning until TEN O’CLOCK!
She’s usually up by 8am, washed up and dressed for the day.

Mom stayed with us one more day and then we all concluded that she was doing fine and would take her back to her apartment after Sunday Brunch.

PHEW!

 

[Andy M.]

Some scary moments there. Glad it turned out OK.

 

[dragnlaw]

Frightened me too! Whew! Glad all is OK now.

 

[Kaneohegirlinaz]

DH made an executive decision … he bought Mom this

We saw this on sale in our local pharmacy and bought it.
He wanted to give it to her as her Valentine’s Day gift, but I vetoed that!
Instead, we needed to be out of the house this past Sunday morning for our monthly Housekeepers visit... “let’s take Mom with us to brunch out and you can give it to her then.”
Mom didn’t seem to take too kindly to his generous gift but took it and wheeled off in a huff. DH said, “I haven’t seen her move that fast in years!”

Of course, you know me, I just had to gussy it up for her. I even put a "name tag" on it so that, ya know, no one steals it!
I called Mom the next day to check on her, with the ruse that I forgot to tell her something or another and in conversation asked her, “have you used your rollator yet Mom?”
YES!

OH, okay, it’s like that then.
“But Mom, does it help you?”
“Well, (long pause) yes, I used it today when I went to breakfast (it’s a bit of a walk for her) and my back didn’t seize up on me halfway there like it usually does.”

We have success!

 

[taxlady]

One of the nice things about those, is that you always have a seat with you. Get tired while out for a walk? Sit down. Have to wait in line? Sit down.