Adventures With Mom

[GinnyPNW]

I'm so sorry K-Girl. Know that my heart goes out to you and to Mom too. Betting you both could use a hug about now....sending cyber hugs!

 

[dragnlaw]

Give your Mom my condolences. I rather think she might like to go, but that is a hard decision. I too am waiting on a friend to choose.

edit;
Yes please, add me into those hugs along with Ginny.

 

[Kaneohegirlinaz]

Big MAHALO, thanks guys.
DH feels that taking Mom to her dearest friend's funeral would not be good for Mom's mental health.
He feels that Mom would be thinking the whole time, am I next?
Mom has only one living relative that we even know about, haven't heard from him in a few years, and that was her last long-time friend.
I dunno, but I left the ball in her court, I mean, I could jolly well NOT offer to take her!

 

[dragnlaw]

I absolutely hear you. Talking to an almost last friend from more than 60 years ago - he and I are the last ones of our group - we're sorta lookin' at each other an'sayin'- who wants to go first? It's funny and not funny at the same time.

 

[taxlady]

I'm so sorry K-Girl. Know that my heart goes out to you and to Mom too. Betting you both could use a hug about now....sending cyber hugs!

Give your Mom my condolences. I rather think she might like to go, but that is a hard decision. I too am waiting on a friend to choose.

edit;
Yes please, add me into those hugs along with Ginny.

From me too.

Big MAHALO, thanks guys.
DH feels that taking Mom to her dearest friend's funeral would not be good for Mom's mental health.
He feels that Mom would be thinking the whole time, am I next?
Mom has only one living relative that we even know about, haven't heard from him in a few years, and that was her last long-time friend.
I dunno, but I left the ball in her court, I mean, I could jolly well NOT offer to take her!

(((Hugs)))

K-girl, you are good daughter. Leaving it in your mum's court seems like the kind and reasonable thing to do. She will be thinking about her friend, and thinking about how soon she is likely to go, whether she goes to the funeral or doesn't. Not an easy time for any of you.

Edited to remove something that was supposed to go in a different reply.

 

[taxlady]

I absolutely hear you. Talking to an almost last friend from more than 60 years ago - he and I are the last ones of our group - we're sorta lookin' at each other an'sayin'- who wants to go first? It's funny and not funny at the same time.

(((Hugs)))

 

[Cooking Goddess]

@Kaneohegirlinaz, my heartfelt sympathy to you and your dear Mom. It's tough when friends from your own generation start to die. Brings home the fragility of life.

While my best friend Dellie and I were friends for only a few months shy of 41 years, it seemed like we had known each other all our lives. I know that I am younger than your Mom, so travel for us is still no trouble. Still, we didn't go home earlier so we could attend her wake because of scheduled medical appointments. It's been over a year and I still regret not going. No matter what your Mom decides to do, I hope she is at peace with her choice.

 

[Andy M.]

Sorry to hear of the loss of you and your mom's dear friend.

 

[Kaneohegirlinaz]

GEEZ!

It has been a time, let me tell you all!

We three had a lovely Easter Lunch at Mom’s Senior Living Community. Loads of food and it was super yummy.

WELL!

My phone rang the following Tuesday, and it was Mom, she NEVER calls me!
Mom: Do you have a heating pad?
Moi: Yesss … WHY!?
Mom: Well, I need it
Moi: Again, WHY?!
Mom: I fell
WHAT?!

As everyone here knows that is the worst thing that can happen to an Elder.

We got ourselves all together, thinking we’d be in ER all day, AGAIN!
We got over to Mom’s apartment and as we were checking in at the front desk, I advised the ladies as to what had happened and that I’d keep them updated.
I’m grateful that we had just recently bought Mom a La-Z-Boy AND a rollator to help her … she’s been using it alright.
Mom was being very stubborn and insisting that she was fine and that the heating pad and the Alieve that I gave her was just the trick.

Okay.

We let her go this way until the weekend. Not to mention Mom has not been eating. I snoop around to make sure that everything is hunky-dory whenever we go to her apartment, and she wasn’t!
“I’m not hungry”
MOM!!!
When you’re taking these anti-inflammatory drugs, you need to eat, or it’ll rip up your tummy. I was going over there every 2 days to check on her and get her to eat something each time. I would take a dish that I knew she really liked, just to get her to eat!

DH gave Mom “options”; we went with she MUST see someone, so I made an appointment with her PCP for the following Tuesday.

Her Nurse Practitioner felt that she had not broken anything and therefore didn’t need an x-ray, but she did need to continue with the heat and change over to Tylenol, she was just pretty well bruised up and sore muscles from it all.
She also prescribed Physical Therapy.
Fortunately for Mom, her community recently contracted a group to come to the residents' apartments for PT or OT, YAY! Mom’s mobility is super not good right now.
The rub is that this PT group is “out-of-network" from Mom’s insurance.

Oh well.
I just confirmed an evaluation appointment for Mom, get this, next Tuesday. I will be sure to be there as the head gal had gone over to Mom’s apartment to introduce herself and make a copy of her prescription and agreed with me that Mom’s cognitive abilities are not great. Always best to have two sets of eye and ears with anything new.
MOM!!!

 

[taxlady]

Ah, Kgirl (((hugs)))

 

[Cooking Goddess]

And more hugs, @Kaneohegirlinaz. I think that the only thing worse than getting older must be taking care of an elder. Stubborn bunch.

 

[GinnyPNW]

My heart goes out to you, K-Girl! Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[dragnlaw]

Absolutely ditto on all of the above, Kgirl. Don't know whether to send my dragonettes to you or your mom.

 

[Kaneohegirlinaz]

Absolutely ditto on all of the above, Kgirl. Don't know whether to send my dragonettes to you or your mom.

@dragnlaw I'd say that Mom needs more 'protection' than I do

 

[dragnlaw]

Well - I'll send one or two to you just for hugs.

 

[Kaneohegirlinaz]

Well, it's been awhile since I added to Mom's Adventure.
Mom has completed her PT and is doing better.
What I'm really happy about though is the PT guy suggested to Mom that she participate in the in-house exercise classes daily.
WOW!
Mom goes to Tai Chi, Yoga and plain ole exercise classes every day of the week but Sunday.
She doesn't complain about her back, she says that it's much better.
Since I've been so ill for the past few months, Mom has turned more to my DH for any assistance that she needs, GOOD!
I even recruited our next door neighbor... she kept asking if there's was ANYTHING that she could do to help us out. Mom had a hair appointment that we couldn't take her to, so I asked Mrs. NextdoorNeighbor and she was all in.
The two gals even went out to linner (late lunch/early dinner) and Mom's new favorite Mexican restaurant.
Thank the stars above for great neighbors!!!

 

[GinnyPNW]

That's just wonderful, K-Girl! You are indeed very lucky...great DH and great neighbors too! I think you hit the jackpot all around.

 

[Kaneohegirlinaz]

That's just wonderful, K-Girl! You are indeed very lucky...great DH and great neighbors too! I think you hit the jackpot all around.

@GinnyPNW I feel very blessed

 

[D. B. Cooper]

I'm starting this thread mostly for myself, to chronicle my Adventure With Mom.

Let me start from the beginning, my Mother had been having numerous issues at "The Home" as she called it. Her Senior Living Community back in her hometown, a very small town in California, where she has been for about 9 years, was in great dis-repair and had many problems.
Mainly, her landline was on the fritz more than it worked (and she has no cell phone nor did she want one), the AC kept going in and out and then to top things off her life-long Gal Pal had taken one too many tumbles and was moved in to her Son's home and her car keys got lost somehow, that was her only means of transport (read as her Son had hidden them).

THEN, throw in this whole Covid thing, GEEZ!

We were unable to make that 9 1/2 hour drive, one way, that we would take quarterly to visit my Mother, by request of the admin to "The Home'.

Mom was contacting me in any way possible to help her deal with business for her and I think she had finally had enough.

In one of our telephone conversations a acoupla months ago she said to me, "I think I made a big mistake moving here", with great distain in her voice.

That opened the door for me.
"Mom what would you think about moving here with us?"
She jumped at the offer.

We took a trip out to Cali to talk this out in person as a family (and take care of more mishaps at "The Home"). We all agreed that in a months time DH and I would come back out to collect her. This gave her plenty of time to purge what things she would no longer have a need for.

This is where I'm going to end this chapter of Adventures With Mom and I will continue this later, mainly `cuz it's time to get dinner on the table for us three ...

 

[D. B. Cooper]

Tagged to follow. I am dealing with a lot of the things you've already been through @Kaneohegirlinaz . My Mother is 86, lives a couple of blocks away and is just holding onto living alone.