Today's Funny
- Thread starter PrincessFiona60
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If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
Phaedra
Sous Chef
The 98-year-old Mother Superior was dying and the nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable.
They gave her some warm milk to drink but she refused.
Then one of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen and remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.
Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.
"Mother Superior the nuns asked with earnest, " please give us some wisdom before you die." She raised herself up in bed and with a pious look on her face said,
"Don't sell that cow."
They gave her some warm milk to drink but she refused.
Then one of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen and remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.
Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.
"Mother Superior the nuns asked with earnest, " please give us some wisdom before you die." She raised herself up in bed and with a pious look on her face said,
"Don't sell that cow."
Andy M.
Certified Pretend Chef
Phaedra
Sous Chef
Phaedra
Sous Chef
A shark swimming under a Bridge sees a Squid swimming towards him:
“How ya doin’ Squid?” He said.
In a feeble voice, the Squid replied “Not too good Mr Shark.”
“Oh, crook are ya?” The shark said.
“Yeah, I am.” He said.
“Where ya going?” The Shark said.
“I was going to North Head, there’s a place there where this weed grows
that’ll fix me up, but I’m too sick to go.” He said.
The shark smiled and said.
“Hop on my back and I’ll take you out there.”
The Squid thanked him and got on his back.
They arrived at the Heads and the Shark dived to the bottom outside this undersea cave.
A big grouper came out and said.
“How ya going? Shark, what brings you over here?”
And the Shark said
“Oh I just called in to give you that sick squid I owe you.”
“How ya doin’ Squid?” He said.
In a feeble voice, the Squid replied “Not too good Mr Shark.”
“Oh, crook are ya?” The shark said.
“Yeah, I am.” He said.
“Where ya going?” The Shark said.
“I was going to North Head, there’s a place there where this weed grows
that’ll fix me up, but I’m too sick to go.” He said.
The shark smiled and said.
“Hop on my back and I’ll take you out there.”
The Squid thanked him and got on his back.
They arrived at the Heads and the Shark dived to the bottom outside this undersea cave.
A big grouper came out and said.
“How ya going? Shark, what brings you over here?”
And the Shark said
“Oh I just called in to give you that sick squid I owe you.”
Arghhhh.
Phaedra
Sous Chef
That reminded me of this:
Canada, eh?
OMG... so true - so true
Kathleen
Cupcake
Now you know what to do with your old tires.
GotGarlic
Chef Extraordinaire
GinnyPNW
Master Chef
Good song too!
My sweetie wrote this on Facebook,
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Marlingardener
Sous Chef
A lot is not always better than a little:
"I'm not saying your perfume is too strong, but the canary was alive before you got here."
"I'm not saying your perfume is too strong, but the canary was alive before you got here."
Stole this from a friend on FB.
GinnyPNW
Master Chef
Why did the apple pie cry?
Because her peelings were hurt.
Because her peelings were hurt.
Kathleen
Cupcake
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Bwk bwk bwk beCAUUUUUUUSE!
My three year-old grandnephew thinks this joke is hysterical.
Bwk bwk bwk beCAUUUUUUUSE!
My three year-old grandnephew thinks this joke is hysterical.
