Today's Funny

[Phaedra]

Your test for today

There are 4 questions. Do not miss one and no cheating please.

1 - How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down.
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The correct answer is:

Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2 - How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Did you say, open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the door?

Wrong answer.

Correct answer:

Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3 - The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend... except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct answer:

The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4 - There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?

Correct answer:

You jump into the river and swim across.

Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

 

[Phaedra]

 

[Phaedra]

 

[Phaedra]

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.

'What was that for?' the man asked.

The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.

The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on' the wife apologized and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.

Wife replied.. 'Your horse phoned'

 

[Phaedra]

 

[taxlady]

I shop at Métro, so they send me flyers. This recipe was linked in my most recent email from them.

Mediterranean salad in a jar

Mediterranean salad in a jar | Metro

Preparation: Express Pickled Onion :

www.metro.ca

In the section for salad ingredients in the above link:

• 2 teaspoons (500 mL) Cooked White Quinoa **
• 2 tablespoons (500 mL) Halved cherry tomatoes
• 3 tablespoons (750 mL) Minced romaine lettuce

Maybe they are letting ChatGPT write their recipes now?

 

[dragnlaw]

I don't know ChatGPT, is that like twitter, facebook, etc?


(remember to hit post, remember to hit post, remember to hit post)

 

[pepperhead212]

I wonder how big those jars are?

 

[taxlady]

I don't know ChatGPT, is that like twitter, facebook, etc?


(remember to hit post, remember to hit post, remember to hit post)

No, ChatGPT is an attempt at AI (Artificial Intelligence). It's still pretty stupid.

 

[taxlady]

I wonder how big those jars are?

The recipe says that it's a main course for 4-6 people and the salad gets divided into 4 jars.

 

[taxlady]

Doesn't anyone find it odd that their ingredient list includes?

• 2 teaspoons (500 mL) Cooked White Quinoa **
• 2 tablespoons (500 mL) Halved cherry tomatoes
• 3 tablespoons (750 mL) Minced romaine lettuce

Those numbers just don't make sense. And, who minces romaine lettuce? It's not minced in the picture.

This recipe doesn't particularly appeal to me, but the way it's written boggles me.

 

[dragnlaw]

I agree taxy, you've certainly posted it in the right place. Today's Funny!

 

[Phaedra]

 

[Phaedra]

An ant knocked on the door of a house.

The house owner opened the door.

“I want a place to stay,” said the ant.

“I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free” said the owner.

Thankful, the ant went inside and occupied the vacant room.

After some days, the ant brought in another ant and requested the owner,
“Can you please allow this fellow ant to stay with me?”

“Oh sure, you can do so without paying any rent,” said the owner.

After some days the ant brought a third ant and requested the owner to allow it to stay with them.

The owner agreed to it without asking for any rent.

This went on as the ant brought in more and more ants and the owner agreed to let them stay without any rent.

One fine day, the ant brought in the tenth ant and requested the owner to allow it to stay with them all.

The owner said,

“OK, you can all stay here but now you all need to pay rent…









You are now tenants”.

 

[taxlady]

An ant knocked on the door of a house.

The house owner opened the door.

“I want a place to stay,” said the ant.

“I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free” said the owner.

Thankful, the ant went inside and occupied the vacant room.

After some days, the ant brought in another ant and requested the owner,
“Can you please allow this fellow ant to stay with me?”

“Oh sure, you can do so without paying any rent,” said the owner.

After some days the ant brought a third ant and requested the owner to allow it to stay with them.

The owner agreed to it without asking for any rent.

This went on as the ant brought in more and more ants and the owner agreed to let them stay without any rent.

One fine day, the ant brought in the tenth ant and requested the owner to allow it to stay with them all.

The owner said,

“OK, you can all stay here but now you all need to pay rent…









You are now tenants”.

Groan.








The beauty of the pun is in the oy of the beholder

 

[dragnlaw]

Double Groan! LOL.

 

[Phaedra]

 

[GinnyPNW]

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for.

The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seems like she’s doing fine, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair.

Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up.

Again she seems fine, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side.

The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright.

This goes on all morning.

Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home.

“So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?” they ask.

“It’s pretty nice,” she replies.

“Except they won’t let you fart”

 

[Phaedra]

 

[GinnyPNW]

Oh, my Stanley would be so confused and upset too! He can't understand why he can't go outside and play with the Corgis on TV...I think he's convinced that's just a big window into the backyard!