Kitchen Disasters

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

The only way my wife can stomach liver is to cook it as a slab, buried in tomato sauce and cheese. Don't burn this dish. Let me tell you this again, don't burn this dish. It ruined my pan beyond repair (never could get the disgustin smell out of it), and stunk up the house for 2 days, and that's after scrubbing the kitchen walls (I really burnt it bad, all dried out and smoking!).

Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

 

[B'sgirl]

I was cleverly showing DH how to separate the egg white from the yolk--so clever that I slipped and dropped the egg on the counter. I watched the whole thing slip down the crack between the stove and the counter and make a huge mess down the side of the cabinet and underneath the stove. I sure showed him.

 

[Fisher's Mom]

This one is silly, but forgetting to put the lid on the blender prior to pushing the 'PUREE' button!

OMG, I did exactly the same thing, sattie. Except I was making a green tomatillo sauce for cheese enchiladas and the tomatillos were straight off the stove - I had quite a few splatter burns as well as a very big mess to clean up.

 

[JoAnn L.]

I learned that one way to avoid kitchen disasters is to not answer the telephone.

Same for me, I burned a pot of bean soup while talking on the phone.

 

[sattie]

OMG, I did exactly the same thing, sattie. Except I was making a green tomatillo sauce for cheese enchiladas and the tomatillos were straight off the stove - I had quite a few splatter burns as well as a very big mess to clean up.

I'm dying here!!!! I was making a chimichurri sauce, and I hit the button and things started flying everywhere! Then in a panic, I hit a button at even a higher speed! Needless to say, I was cleaning green junk off cabinets, floors, walls, actually I'm still finding remnants of it this day....

 

[Fisher's Mom]

I'm dying here!!!! I was making a chimichurri sauce, and I hit the button and things started flying everywhere! Then in a panic, I hit a button at even a higher speed! Needless to say, I was cleaning green junk off cabinets, floors, walls, actually I'm still finding remnants of it this day....

That's freaky amazing, sattie! I did exactly the same thing - hit the faster speed button trying to turn it off! (I didn't want to say it because I thought I'd look even more foolish but if you did it too - it's a blender design flaw!!!!) I did it just before I renovated the kitchen and even though I cleaned up all of the green gunk I could find, when I tore out the cabinets I found a lot more!!!

 

[sparrowgrass]

The time I brought a praying mantis egg case into the house and stuck in in a jar on the kitchen window sill while I tried to figure out what it was.

I had millions of teeny-tiny praying mantises everywhere. I think I still shake a little flattened one out of a cookbook once in a while.

 

[sattie]

That's freaky amazing, sattie! I did exactly the same thing - hit the faster speed button trying to turn it off! (I didn't want to say it because I thought I'd look even more foolish but if you did it too - it's a blender design flaw!!!!) I did it just before I renovated the kitchen and even though I cleaned up all of the green gunk I could find, when I tore out the cabinets I found a lot more!!!

Yea, I'm amazed where you find the stuff even months later. And I'm like, "How in the heck did it get there???"

 

[Chef Mark]

Thanks Andy M-no more microwave eggs for you

 

[crono760]

I was baking my first cake from scratch, using a recipe from the Joy of Cooking. It was a brick when it came out of the oven. But that's not where the fun ends

I said, "hey, I have 6 pounds of cake, I should still ice it". so I tried to make buttercream. Except....no one told me you have to mix it for like 15 minutes. So I get a chunky, but liquidy, sad and unfortunate butter...slime instead.

But the fun keeps going

I said, "oh no! The butter must have melted". Naturally, by this time, the buttercream is on the cake anyway, so I put it in the fridge. In the fridge where we're marinating lamb. Marinating lamb in an aromatic garlic/onion/Worcestershire sauce marinade.

So we had a vanilla pound cake with butterslime icing and garlic/onion accents.

The worst thing is: my aunt and grandmother actually took it all home and ate it! :=|

Mike

 

[AllenOK]

The time I brought a praying mantis egg case into the house and stuck in in a jar on the kitchen window sill while I tried to figure out what it was.

I had millions of teeny-tiny praying mantises everywhere. I think I still shake a little flattened one out of a cookbook once in a while.

Hey! Something for Earth Day! Forget buying aresol cans of insecticide! Just bring home one of these things! Ought to be a big seller in places where the roaches out-populate people!

 

[jpmcgrew]

Hey! Something for Earth Day! Forget buying aresol cans of insecticide! Just bring home one of these things! Ought to be a big seller in places where the roaches out-populate people!

Sounds great but I think our two cats would have a field day with one of those

 

[whole milk]

I made marshmallows by hand the other week. I had the egg whites on the table, the syrup on the stove and the boiled gelatin in my hands. I added the gelatin -- whisk, whisk, whisking away -- to find out much too late that it FOAMS and the pot was much, much, much too small for the recipe. It overflowed off the stove, down the cabinets, and onto the floor. Such a mess! (And hard to clean up!)

 

[josh_swinehart]

Worst Disasters:

Physical Harm: Took off the tip of my finger with a mandolin.

Pyrotechnical Harm: While getting ready for Prom I was polishing my shoes. First step, melt shoe polish (in case this trips your crazy alarm, I was in AFJROTC, it is just how we did it.) Well I did this on the stove top, I lit the polish with a match while it sat on a turned off burner. The polish got melty like I wanted it and I went to put the lid on to smother the flame. I tipped the can over spilling lit liquid shoe polish on the stove top. It flared up and got very smoky at which point I used the fire extinguisher. I finished cleaning up black shoe polish and yellow powder just in time to leave for prom.

Culinary Harm: When I was wee little small (I dunno 4-5ish), I was just sure that you could just throw any of the interesting ingredients in Mommy's kitchen in a dish, bake it and get cake. I mean that is what Mommy was doing right? So Mom let me do just that, flour, salt, food coloring and the Lord knows what else went in a dish and Mom cooked it till it browned and got hard. To my dismay it was inedible. That is when little Josh learned that baking is not magic. Cooking as it turns out is.

-Josh hart

 

[blissful]

Strained currants through muslin, muslin broke, currants on wall. (stain)
Tomato sauce in blender, turn on blender, tomatoes on ceiling. (stain)
Left 4 year old in kitchen, he painted designs on white print wall paper with shrimp sauce. (stain)

Scallopped potatoes and ham in the oven, ALWAYS overflow and make a mess that smells bad each time you heat it up.

Helping a friend over the phone make toffee on the stove. She's stirring it and says 'what are the white streaks in it'? Hmm, interesting, so I headed over to her house. It was her rubber spatula melting into it.

~Bliss

 

[Jeff G.]

Left the can of PAM on the stove when baking. BOOM!!! Pam everywhere, and a perfect can sized hole in the ceiling tile(college apartment).

 

[expatgirl]

These are too funny........i"ve posted this twice in 3 years so if you've seen it I apologize...mine was cooking an Irish Turkey for an American Thanksgiving........cause it wasn't a Butterball I was following a Joy of Cooking recipe that promised a tender Tom----just soak a dishtowel in oil and drape it over the turkey.........well, I did that only the towel was green......so was Mr. Tom after a few hours.........it was awful looking and I had 10 people showing up.........it tasted fine....just that it was green looking

 

[wysiwyg]

I had to cook dinner for 10 people: Beef Stroganoff, noodles, caramelized pears salad and Tiramisu, etc. etc.
Things were getting late and I had to hurry up since I cooked everything at home and the dinner was on the other side of town. As soon as I finished, I put everything on the car and away I went.
As I was driving to my friends' place, I noticed the noddles were missing.
I figured, OMG, I left them home so I stopped dead on to turn around just to see my blue 7 Qt. LeCreuset pot full of noddles flying over the windshield LOL.
It landed right on the street in front of the car making a mess. Luckily the pot was intact, except for some chips.
Needless to say, we had Stroganoff with rice that night.

Now I am laughing about the incident, at the time I was completely embarassed. Next time another driver makes some funny face or points at my car, I will stop to check what is going on. Promised.

 

[expatgirl]

another disaster--not mine, however.....my sister's.....without telling anyone she decided to make a baked potato........out of foil.......no problem.....plastic wrap makes a good substitute.......right???????? oh, call 911 the house is full of smoke........we laugh now 40 years later

 

[DaveSoMD]

It was about 12 years ago and one of my 1st crock-pot cooking experiments, that is not using a recipe. I took one of those small pre-packages "hams", studded it with cloves and put it in the crock pot with some orange juice and water, put the lid on, set it to low and went to work.

10 hours later I came home to the WORST food ever!!! The ham was infused with the taste of burned orange and CLOVES, CLOVES, CLOVES!!!

I tried my best to eat it but ended up throwing it all way and calling for a pizza delivery.