LOL! Cranberry Relish for the year coming up!
Cranberries vs. Hubby - Round 1
- Thread starter Janet H
- Start date
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Andy M.
Certified Pretend Chef
Just in case, have some band-aids on hand.
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Do you need the number for 9-1-1?
Dawgluver
Chef Extraordinaire
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2011
- Messages
- 25,033
Probably wouldn't hurt to send it to her.
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OP
OP
hahahaha
Do you think the dispatchers need any relish?
Mad Cook
Master Chef
Did you get the Magimix in the end? Just to cheer you on, I've had my Magimix for over 30 years and it's still going strongand in use 2 or 3 times a week or more at festive times. I did have to replace the blade a couple of years back because it had blunted but it had had a lot of use - For the first couple of years that I had it I was making 30-40lbs of pate and terrines per week and using the Magimix for chopping the meats!
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OP
OP
Yes, I got it just after the holiday last year and think it's just an awesome machine. BTW - tonight's the night for the annual berry carnage. Shuddering in anticipation ....
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Whiskadoodle
Executive Chef
Great story Janet. Hope it goes better this year.
I was not allowed to cook cranberries today, not allowed to create red stains on the stove, counters or anywhere else. I had already singed two pot holders making something else.
My secret cheater cranberry sauce during the year, when cranberries are not available. One can whole berry sauce. Using a micro-plane, grate in however much fresh ginger to taste. Stir. Chill. Eat. Or use to glaze grilled meats. I call it fancy if I grate in some orange peel too.
I was not allowed to cook cranberries today, not allowed to create red stains on the stove, counters or anywhere else. I had already singed two pot holders making something else.
My secret cheater cranberry sauce during the year, when cranberries are not available. One can whole berry sauce. Using a micro-plane, grate in however much fresh ginger to taste. Stir. Chill. Eat. Or use to glaze grilled meats. I call it fancy if I grate in some orange peel too.
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msmofet
Chef Extraordinaire
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2009
- Messages
- 14,487
This story reminds me of Garrison Keller or Gene Sheppard. Thank you for the story.
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Addie
Chef Extraordinaire
This is still the most delightful story about Thanksgiving I have ever read. We need a thread about Thanksgiving Fails. I just love this post. So worth reading about two days before the big day. It gives one the courage to go forth into that room called "the kitchen" and make the most important meal of the year. After all, it reminds us to say "Thank You for all our blessings." Even our Thanksgiving Fails.
Thank you Janet for making my day once again. What a great way to start off my day.
Thank you Janet for making my day once again. What a great way to start off my day.
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Janet, when did the FB eventually arrive? How do you like it?
OP
OP
The Food processor did finally arrive - the day after Thanksgiving. We've been using it now for a couple of years and I like it a lot. It's simple to use and super powerful. It's also heavy which I knew in advance of purchase... but this is a little bit of a downer as I have to get it out to use it. The blades are still wicked sharp.
Interestingly just last night my hubby asked about this years T-day bash and how many would be attending. He let me know that he'd get me his grocery list for the cranberry relish which I find hilarious. The recipe never changes - I know the list by heart and the list PALES next to the grocery list for the rest of the meal.
Anyway - he sounded so pleased about the prospect of making relish again, making sure I knew the timeline for prep and even making a suggestion that perhaps we had time to go down to the local art gallery to look for a ceramic bowl that would elevate the presentation.
I eventually bought a heavy, powerful FP (three bowl Cuisinart). I didn't buy it until I made a space for it to live on the counter. I didn't want to be dragging it out, or not using it because I didn't feel like dragging it out.
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Addie
Chef Extraordinaire
And the saga continues. How delightful. This year a special bowl. Next year? Properly dressed folks outside the door with trumpets blaring to announce the guests as they arrive? Or they could stand around the bowl as it is placed on the table? Oh, so many possibilities for presentation of The Famous Relish!.
Katie, you know I am sure, that I am only kidding. I love this story.
Katie, you know I am sure, that I am only kidding. I love this story.
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OP
OP
Don't give him any ideas....
I can just picture this... trumpet salute and someone announcing: "presenting... The Amaaaaazing cranberry relish also accompanied by some turkey and stuffing"
OP
OP
2019 update to this saga....
This year I went to Costco on Saturday to procure massive quantities of fresh berries. They usually have wonderful fresh berries and a good price. I need 6 lbs according to my DH. He is sure even those 6 lbs may not be enough...
I carefully go through the pile of berry bags, checking the pack dates to find the freshest - I am concerned as they are not as recently packed as I would like.
Later in the evening I plan to cook some of these for cranberry sauce and freeze. The rest will be for fresh relish.
10 PM Saturday night and I finally have time to wash and cook some of the berries down. When I open the bags and begin to wash I am horrified to discover that the berries are soft and many are beginning to spoil. OHHHH NOOOOO!! I will have to tell DH... there is going to be drama.
Sure enough.
"Ummm... sweetie" (remember it's 10 PM. DH has already slipped into sweats and is reading a magazine with his eyes mostly closed). "sweetie - would you come take a peek at these berries?"
The eyes snap wide open and the magazine is cast aside. DH sits up fence-post straight and then predictably: "the berries - is there a problem with the berries - did you not buy enough? I told you we need at LEAST 6 lbs." Then he lopes off down the hall to change his clothes. He puts on shoes, a belt and then puts his wallet and keys in his pocket (remember - 10 PM) to go into the kitchen and check the berries. He's a man on important business and even the dog is on alert - there is low growling like there might be an invisible brown truck outside or a berry thief!
As he inspects the berries I can see he's trying to keep his cool but it's tough - this is a SERIOUS problem.
"Where did you get these? When did you get these? They are inferior, softish, not fresh at all, this will never do, let's take them back to the store and exchange. We need to do this RIGHT NOW before they run out. We can't have Thanksgiving without relish, it can't happen, folks will be so DISAPPOINTED, They are looking forward to the relish; we may have to cancel" (remember 10 PM....).
The next day the berries are returned and there are no replacements to be had. The entire pallet of berries was bad and the store pulled them. Most of Sunday was spent finding suitable replacements at other stores and now they are in the fridge - firm plump, bright red, inspected and approved by DH and waiting for relish-making to ensue. There is an extra pound for good measure - that's 7 lbs of fresh cranberries.
While we were shopping he also picked up some additional apples, a new bag of brown sugar (to go with the one I already had) and 3 organic and extra pricey oranges. Thanksgiving has not been cancelled - yet.
This year I went to Costco on Saturday to procure massive quantities of fresh berries. They usually have wonderful fresh berries and a good price. I need 6 lbs according to my DH. He is sure even those 6 lbs may not be enough...
I carefully go through the pile of berry bags, checking the pack dates to find the freshest - I am concerned as they are not as recently packed as I would like.
Later in the evening I plan to cook some of these for cranberry sauce and freeze. The rest will be for fresh relish.
10 PM Saturday night and I finally have time to wash and cook some of the berries down. When I open the bags and begin to wash I am horrified to discover that the berries are soft and many are beginning to spoil. OHHHH NOOOOO!! I will have to tell DH... there is going to be drama.
Sure enough.
"Ummm... sweetie" (remember it's 10 PM. DH has already slipped into sweats and is reading a magazine with his eyes mostly closed). "sweetie - would you come take a peek at these berries?"
The eyes snap wide open and the magazine is cast aside. DH sits up fence-post straight and then predictably: "the berries - is there a problem with the berries - did you not buy enough? I told you we need at LEAST 6 lbs." Then he lopes off down the hall to change his clothes. He puts on shoes, a belt and then puts his wallet and keys in his pocket (remember - 10 PM) to go into the kitchen and check the berries. He's a man on important business and even the dog is on alert - there is low growling like there might be an invisible brown truck outside or a berry thief!
As he inspects the berries I can see he's trying to keep his cool but it's tough - this is a SERIOUS problem.
"Where did you get these? When did you get these? They are inferior, softish, not fresh at all, this will never do, let's take them back to the store and exchange. We need to do this RIGHT NOW before they run out. We can't have Thanksgiving without relish, it can't happen, folks will be so DISAPPOINTED, They are looking forward to the relish; we may have to cancel" (remember 10 PM....).
The next day the berries are returned and there are no replacements to be had. The entire pallet of berries was bad and the store pulled them. Most of Sunday was spent finding suitable replacements at other stores and now they are in the fridge - firm plump, bright red, inspected and approved by DH and waiting for relish-making to ensue. There is an extra pound for good measure - that's 7 lbs of fresh cranberries.
While we were shopping he also picked up some additional apples, a new bag of brown sugar (to go with the one I already had) and 3 organic and extra pricey oranges. Thanksgiving has not been cancelled - yet.
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While the organic oranges are extra pricey, if you are going to use the peel, it's a good idea to get the organic ones. The regular ones might be dyed orange and the dye approved for this is not a food safe dye. This actually applies to lemons too.
Cooking Goddess
Chef Extraordinaire
Janet, I just read your latest chapter of your ongoing berry saga to Himself - amid much laughter on both of our parts. Life with your DH must be very...entertaining. I hope his sauce making went smoothly, even if he was making chunky style.
OP
OP
SHOOT ME NOW!!
It's Wednesday afternoon - Thanksgiving 2022 is tomorrow and we are having T-day dinner at a friends house this year. Our contribution is to bring cranberry "products" because well... you know, my DH is FAMOUS for his fabulous, fresh relish. I will make the cooked berries and also have 2 cans of cranberry jelly (the ones with the rings) because they were requested. 3 flavors of cranberries - go figure.
There are pounds of berries in my fridge (9 pounds at last count) and as usual we started with 3 lbs but my worry wort DH made several trips for more bags; just in case. I swear there's something about t-day berries that is jinxed and this year it's my turn.
I made a lovely large pot of sauce with grated orange, cinnamon sticks and ginger using 4 lbs of the precious berries, tediously washed and cooked to perfection. I had a plan to take pictures of the cook and then the jarred result for a goofy idea for a culinary themed holiday card.
After the molten berries cooled a bit I prepared to move the jam to containers. Some will be taken to dinner tomorrow, others frozen and some given away. Berries are messy - they are sticky and stain anything they touch so I figured I'd put the heavy pan in the sink and spoon the containers full there - the sink is easy to clean - no fuss, no mess and no danger of red stains on hard to clean surfaces.
Right. Good plan. Except we have a new puppy who is constantly underfoot and I have size 11 feet; it's a bad combo. I pick up the heavy pot of HOT sauce and prepared to move a few feet to the sink. Just then the puppy shoots through the kitchen and I trip. The pan drops, the hot sauce spills and splatters, and the four letter words arrive. DH comes running.
The dog is unhurt but there are quarts of sticky red staining sauce on my floor, my clothes, the walls and just now I HATE holidays. There is warm cranberry sauce in my left shoe.
Proof that the dog lives still and is not scalded:
My thoughtful DH has helped with clean up and is trying to make me feel better about all this.
He has suggested that "it's probably just as well, after all.. the fresh relish is really all that will be needed and any picky or uninitiated (in to the joys of his awesome relish) folks can eat the canned stuff, but now that half the berries are gone we might want to pop out to the store and get a few more bags... just in case; we wouldn't want anyone to be disappointed or to not have enough for everyone to have seconds or thirds. You wouldn't want them to have to scrimp on berries" WE must have MORE berries!!!!!
Tonight he makes the FAMOUS fresh relish and I will be drinking. I might start now.
It's Wednesday afternoon - Thanksgiving 2022 is tomorrow and we are having T-day dinner at a friends house this year. Our contribution is to bring cranberry "products" because well... you know, my DH is FAMOUS for his fabulous, fresh relish. I will make the cooked berries and also have 2 cans of cranberry jelly (the ones with the rings) because they were requested. 3 flavors of cranberries - go figure.
There are pounds of berries in my fridge (9 pounds at last count) and as usual we started with 3 lbs but my worry wort DH made several trips for more bags; just in case. I swear there's something about t-day berries that is jinxed and this year it's my turn.
I made a lovely large pot of sauce with grated orange, cinnamon sticks and ginger using 4 lbs of the precious berries, tediously washed and cooked to perfection. I had a plan to take pictures of the cook and then the jarred result for a goofy idea for a culinary themed holiday card.
After the molten berries cooled a bit I prepared to move the jam to containers. Some will be taken to dinner tomorrow, others frozen and some given away. Berries are messy - they are sticky and stain anything they touch so I figured I'd put the heavy pan in the sink and spoon the containers full there - the sink is easy to clean - no fuss, no mess and no danger of red stains on hard to clean surfaces.
Right. Good plan. Except we have a new puppy who is constantly underfoot and I have size 11 feet; it's a bad combo. I pick up the heavy pot of HOT sauce and prepared to move a few feet to the sink. Just then the puppy shoots through the kitchen and I trip. The pan drops, the hot sauce spills and splatters, and the four letter words arrive. DH comes running.
The dog is unhurt but there are quarts of sticky red staining sauce on my floor, my clothes, the walls and just now I HATE holidays. There is warm cranberry sauce in my left shoe.
Proof that the dog lives still and is not scalded:
My thoughtful DH has helped with clean up and is trying to make me feel better about all this.He has suggested that "it's probably just as well, after all.. the fresh relish is really all that will be needed and any picky or uninitiated (in to the joys of his awesome relish) folks can eat the canned stuff, but now that half the berries are gone we might want to pop out to the store and get a few more bags... just in case; we wouldn't want anyone to be disappointed or to not have enough for everyone to have seconds or thirds. You wouldn't want them to have to scrimp on berries" WE must have MORE berries!!!!!
Tonight he makes the FAMOUS fresh relish and I will be drinking. I might start now.
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Silversage
Head Chef
@Janet H every couple years, this thread pops up and it slays me to reread it every time. This years's addition is hilarious! Drink and enjoy the holiday.
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