A reach out my fellow "old" members

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caseydog

caseydog

Master Chef
Joined
Jan 19, 2017
Messages
8,260
Location
Dallas
I am about 90 percent retired. I work about two to five days a month, and don't need to stray far my home office. I always looked at cooking as my escape from my work, which was pretty much half the year away from home, but now that I only work a few days month, it is not so much an escape. I do not know why.

I now find myself in a rut. I still love cooking, but not as much as I did when I was on the road 120 days out of a year. When I was gone that long, cooking was my refuge. It was my vacation from work. Now, not as much.

Are any forum members who can identify with that?


CD
 
Sort of. I can at least understand why.
I don't enjoy cooking half as much as I used to. Many reasons, one being no kitchen (everything is spread over 3/4 rooms). It wears me out just traveling from room to room, collecting/returning items. This alone creates a myriad of different problems.
When I first moved there I had full kitchen access. But over time I discovered it is one thing to use someone else's kitchen temporarily and another full time.
One just loses the joy and spontaneity of walking into their own and saying OK, I think I will make ... at 4-5-6 pm. If I use the kitchen I need to be cleaned up (wha!) and out of the way by that time.

Plus cooking for someone else. Was fairly often but it was never really planned. Had 3 or 4 friends whom I could call up anytime and say - tonight? tomorrow? just got some mussels, hungry?
My DIL is very much like me in that she likes to do it all herself and her way. I certainly can't fault her without faulting myself! LOL!

Never dreamed this would happen with my choice, but there it is. Done it.
 
Find your reason for being, your passion, your purpose in life.
Retiring is a big transition. Take take the initiative to examine all the possibilities.
What gives you joy? What gives you satisfaction? Who do you enjoy being with? Follow your heart and you'll find it.

Maybe you'll teach people what you know, maybe you'll volunteer to feed people, maybe you'll take classes or take up new hobbies to see what works you.
Cooking might take a back seat to your new activities. Eat to live, not live to cook. Streamline your cooking and spend less time in the kitchen.
What interests did you have to put away to concentrate on your job, or raising your children, or taking care of sick relatives? Revive those interests and see if they fit in your future. Did you always want to learn about...something in history?...how to make something outside the kitchen area? Do you believe in a cause, something that would improve the world where you live, now pursue it. Explore your physical, mental, spiritual, or emotional health and nurture yourself and others where you never had time before?
Start a notebook of the things that give you joy. Follow that roadmap.
Possibilities are endless. The world is your oyster.
 
I retired September 1, 2022. Some here may remember but my work schedule was grueling where I worked 12 hours on a typical day with many days going 16 hours or longer. This may sound really dull to many but my new "hobby" is "playing house." This includes making my home and yard the way I had always wished it would be. Playing with my toys, which includes all the gizmos and gadgets that I had but never had time to use. And actually planning/making meals that took more time than to pop open something or toss together in 5 min. Also, canning, preserving food, etc.

Perhaps the key will be to make/do things you have always wanted when you did not have the time. Learn a different way of cooking, revisit what you missed doing, etc. Before I retired, I did a long thought of "what might you want to do with the rest of your life, and such. After making my list, I realized that I have more interests than I have time left in this world.

My changes did not come easily for me, but my "prepare for retirement" book said "nature abhors a void" and "changes of any kind requires energy."

Just a few thoughts from my own experience that I feel helped me avoid what many of my compadres experienced which included a loss of joy doing things they did before.
 
dragnlaw said:
Sort of. I can at least understand why.
I don't enjoy cooking half as much as I used to. Many reasons, one being no kitchen (everything is spread over 3/4 rooms). It wears me out just traveling from room to room, collecting/returning items. This alone creates a myriad of different problems.
When I first moved there I had full kitchen access. But over time I discovered it is one thing to use someone else's kitchen temporarily and another full time.
One just loses the joy and spontaneity of walking into their own and saying OK, I think I will make ... at 4-5-6 pm. If I use the kitchen I need to be cleaned up (wha!) and out of the way by that time.

Plus cooking for someone else. Was fairly often but it was never really planned. Had 3 or 4 friends whom I could call up anytime and say - tonight? tomorrow? just got some mussels, hungry?
My DIL is very much like me in that she likes to do it all herself and her way. I certainly can't fault her without faulting myself! LOL!

Never dreamed this would happen with my choice, but there it is. Done it.
Click to expand...

Similar feeling for me, but different reason. I didn't have access to my kitchen for almost half the year for 15 years, so when I was home, my kitchen was my play-place.

On the downside, Psychopoodle was only half my dog. My dog sitter was a wonderful woman in her 80's who has a black cat named Voodoo who was Teddy's best friend. He spent half his time with her, and the other half with me, and loved both of us.

CD
 
blissful said:
Find your reason for being, your passion, your purpose in life.
Retiring is a big transition. Take take the initiative to examine all the possibilities.
What gives you joy? What gives you satisfaction? Who do you enjoy being with? Follow your heart and you'll find it.

Maybe you'll teach people what you know, maybe you'll volunteer to feed people, maybe you'll take classes or take up new hobbies to see what works you.
Cooking might take a back seat to your new activities. Eat to live, not live to cook. Streamline your cooking and spend less time in the kitchen.
What interests did you have to put away to concentrate on your job, or raising your children, or taking care of sick relatives? Revive those interests and see if they fit in your future. Did you always want to learn about...something in history?...how to make something outside the kitchen area? Do you believe in a cause, something that would improve the world where you live, now pursue it. Explore your physical, mental, spiritual, or emotional health and nurture yourself and others where you never had time before?
Start a notebook of the things that give you joy. Follow that roadmap.
Possibilities are endless. The world is your oyster.
Click to expand...

I give a lot of money to World Food Kitchen. I am looking into what I can do, short of going into a war zone on the other side of the world, to volunteer. The war zone on the other side of the world is for much younger people than me. I would do it, but I'd probably hold them back more than I would help.

I really should do more research into ways I could contribute to charities that help people, other than writing a check. I've done some research, but found that most of them just want me to give them money, and nothing else. Feeding the homeless? Thanks, just send the check to this address.

CD
 
Your love of cooking balanced your stress from work. Now that stress is gone so the balance point has changed.

I got into cooking late in life, after my divorce. I spent hours reading books and watching cooking shows to learn. I still enjoy it but don't have the energy to do as much.
 
Casey, World Food Kitchen is great--doing so much good in so many places. Plaudits to you for contributing! We give regularly. We also give and occasionally help at the local thrift store/food bank. See if that might be a good fit for you.
Have you considered Habitat for Humanity? They can use volunteers of all skill levels, and the best part (I think) is that the recipients of the new or remodeled home pitch in.
I think you have a skill in photography. You could take prom pictures, graduation pictures, family photos for those who can't afford a "professional" photographer's fees.
The downside of retirement is letting your skills and abilities go to waste.
 
Andy M. said:
Your love of cooking balanced your stress from work. Now that stress is gone so the balance point has changed.

I got into cooking late in life, after my divorce. I spent hours reading books and watching cooking shows to learn. I still enjoy it but don't have the energy to do as much.
Click to expand...

My ex wife and I both cooked, and enjoyed cooking together. However, like you, age has put a little bit of a damper on my cooking enthusiasm. Well, the cooking part is still fun, but the cleaning up after the cooking is getting old. My ex-wife actually liked cleaning -- maybe should have kept her. :ROFLMAO:

CD
 
Marlingardener said:
Casey, World Food Kitchen is great--doing so much good in so many places. Plaudits to you for contributing! We give regularly. We also give and occasionally help at the local thrift store/food bank.
Click to expand...

WFK and the North Texas Food Bank are my two biggest charities that I support. NTFB provides food to people struggling to buy food. WFK provides meals to people who have lost everything.

Everyone on this food forum should check them out...

wck.org

World Central Kitchen

Founded in 2010 by Chef José Andrés, World Central Kitchen (WCK) is a nonprofit organization that is first to the frontlines providing fresh meals in response to crises. Applying our model of quick action, leveraging local resources, and adapting in real time, WCK has served more than 350...
wck.org wck.org


CD
 
Last edited:
Andy M. said:
Maybe you could bring her in and pay her an hourly rate to clean up after you?! ;)
Click to expand...

Actually, I can't find her. Debt collectors are calling me wanting five figures, and I have to tell them where to go... I think you know where that is. I'd have to pay her $100 an hour to clean my house just to make monthly payments on her debts.

CD
 
caseydog said:
Actually, I can't find her. Debt collectors are calling me wanting five figures, and I have to tell them where to go... I think you know where that is. I'd have to pay her $100 an hour to clean my house just to make monthly payments on her debts.

CD
Click to expand...
OOOPS!
 
caseydog said:
I give a lot of money to World Food Kitchen. I am looking into what I can do, short of going into a war zone on the other side of the world, to volunteer. The war zone on the other side of the world is for much younger people than me. I would do it, but I'd probably hold them back more than I would help.

I really should do more research into ways I could contribute to charities that help people, other than writing a check. I've done some research, but found that most of them just want me to give them money, and nothing else. Feeding the homeless? Thanks, just send the check to this address.

CD
Click to expand...
One of our DC members, @gadzooks, used to cook breakfast at a men’s shelter a few times each month.

Something like that might be a good change from check writing.

Experiment a little in your local community and you will find a way to help others if that is what you choose to do.
 
Maybe you could lead a photography group at a HS or college with all your experience. Or teach photography offering a course. You have your more high profile photography to keep them in good stories too. Even being a photography coach for one to three people, joining them on local shoots for different projects, helping them hone their skills. Teaching others improves the world.
 
blissful said:
Maybe you could lead a photography group at a HS or college with all your experience. Or teach photography offering a course. You have your more high profile photography to keep them in good stories too. Even being a photography coach for one to three people, joining them on local shoots for different projects, helping them hone their skills. Teaching others improves the world.
Click to expand...
I think you are on to something!
 
Maybe there is something similar where you live. In the suburban area where I live, there is a group that is called "West Island Volunteers" (English version of the name). They apparently train volunteers and help people find volunteering opportunities that appeal to them.
 
I know that I have lost a lot of my interest in cooking. No, that's not exactly it. It's more like it doesn't seem like it is as much worth the effort as it was before my husband died. Not only is it almost as much effort to cook for one as for two, I have to do the stuff that DH used to do. So, I have more chores and less helping with the chores that are easier for two. Altogether, that just makes cooking and the cleanup more effort than before without the pleasure of sharing the meals.
 
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