Possibly the time I took a young lady to a "Lady's Dining In Night" at the Sgts Mess, for the full formal dinner and dance...if you are "junior" you are typically caused to arrive early and leave only after all your "seniors" have departed...and it opens with (in those bygone days) with sherry, served with cheese and crackers, for about an hour...(or a gin based "punch" if you are sorta "dumb")...
Regrettably, I was unaware that said lady had never been to one of these, and had given only the most "cursory" of briefings on how the evening progressed (aside from the obviously vital advice, the "dinner" would last about 2.5-3 hours, and once seated, you stayed until the head table had left, so for God's sake, arrive "empty" and use the facilities before dinner at the Piper's "quarter call", 15 minutes before we're piped in)...
Anyways, you get piped in, sit, are served white wine with a salad, more of same with the fish, shifting to red with the entree, then over to Port with the dessert, the fruit slices, the cheese trays, and, of course it gets controllably "ribald" as the meal progresses, with the Toast to the Queen, Toast to the Regiment (to be drained in one "go"), Toast to the Ladies, some of which may be offered in things like Brandy, Drambuie, Scotch or (for Ladies) Creme de menthe...
The Port is offered first to the PMC (President of the Mess Committee) and thumped down on the tables by the stewards in decanters (a note here, the Navy serves it in decanters with "rounded bottoms" so you have to grab them before they fall over, and "pass" the Port to the next diner, always in the same direction; the decanter is removed and recharged immediately it is emptied, and "returned, refilled" to service)...(and never "across" the table BTW!)(Social "disgrace" follows!)...
Anyways, my "date" was "unfamiliar" with the "custom", and was sort of dreamily in a gin/white/red wine "glaze" when confronted with the passed decanter of Port...(my attention was elsewhre at the critical second) and, wondered aloud if she was to "drink from the decanter, or what"...in a voice that, unfortunately carried....
Suffice it to say the relationship did not go much further....
When I met Margaret and invited her to such social soirees, I was "fulsome" in advising what to expect, but she had her sister in the Mess, and I was senior enough to manipulate the seating cards by then...
Lifter