Reflections

[LPBeier]

With everything that is going on here with people hurting in various ways, and whatis going on in MY life, I felt I needed a place to share my thoughts that didn't fit into the venting, schedule or smile threads and I was wondering if there are others like me.

I laid awake last night, as usual, waiting for pain meds to kick in and found myself in deep prayer and thought.

I am thankful that DD's fiance is finally out of the hospital but he is not out of the woods yet and he has really begun to depend on me as a mother figure (his is across the country and has never really been a part of his life). This is hard when I have been playing the role for DD, though she is happy that he has my DD and me to look up to as parental figures.

Then, my mind keeps travelling to Katie and Buck. I haven't been around that long, but long enough for her daily smiles about fireflies, kittens and Buck to become a highlight of my evening read. I have been on community sites like this (not cooking ones, - more for specific health concerns) and while everyone is friendly, they are there more for their own needs. It is incredible to see what a tight compassionate family we have here.

I was with my 83 year old Dad last night and could see signs of him slipping again - he couldn't hear very well even with his hearing aids cranked up and he seemed to fade in and out of the conversation. He picked up after dinner....I worry that he isn't eating properly on his own with his diabetes.

And there are others on my mind as well who had issues that need prayer and I fid that for once I am totally not thinking of my current and seemingly never-ending pain flare.

I was also realizing how many of you are becoming such close friends and that my life is good.

There is a bridge in a Christian song I love called "Blessed Be Your Name" that goes "You give and take away, You give and take away, my heart will chose to say, Blessed be Your name". Many of us here have been experiencing the giving and the taking (whether you believe or not) and it is so nice that we have each other to build on that.

I hope my ramblings here are okay and coherent.

 

[jkath]

Very coherent, and with much substance, Laurie.
I've got that song going in my head now too -
"Every blessing you pour out, I'll turn back to praise; When the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will stay"

 

[LPBeier]

Thanks, JKath. I hope others may become inspired to share here as well. It doesn't have to be Christ oriented - just how life is like for you at the moment.

 

[Fisher's Mom]

This is a wonderful thread, Laurie. Thanks for starting it.

I was with my mom yesterday and even though she is only 73, her health is compromised by COPD to the point that she is afraid to go many places for fear of getting sick. She went to a wedding this weekend in Galveston with a friend and they came back a day early because she was so exhausted. It really made me think hard about making the most of my time with her and appreciating the fact that I have a strong and healthy body that can do anything I ask of it.

I feel the same way when I read posts by my friends here. So many lovely people struggling with poor health, rough family situations, hard financial times. And you all seem to be doing it with such grace. It's humbling and has made me reflect on my many blessings. Also, not to take things for granted. Poor Katie and Buck don't deserve what is happening to them and yet it is happening. It's hard not to become angry and beat your fists asking why. I'm trying to channel my energies in prayer and because it's the only thing I can really do to help.

But as you said Laurie, there is still the joy of my children's laughter and the pleasure of my mother's tiny kittens and the warmth of knowing I have friends - life is good in spite of the bad.

 

[Maverick2272]

Seems a lot of folks are going thru bad times these days, but luckily we don't have to go it alone, besides the Lord we also now have each other.
I know that helps me a lot.

 

[JoAnn L.]

Everyday I have been watching how my neighbors in Cedar Rapids, Iowa are suffering with this terrible flood. Today one of our stores was collecting money to send bottled water to them. They are trying to get 3 semi loads full. It feels good to help in some small way even. They still need our prayers now that they have this terrible clean up to do. So many of them have lost their homes.

 

[LPBeier]

I just got this in one of those mass mail emails and really felt it was fitting for DC right now....and any time for that matter. There was no author or anything so I hope it is okay to post it here.

A Keeper
Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away. I can see them now, Dad in trousers, work shirt and a hat; and Mom in a house dress, lawn mower in one hand, and dish-towel in the other. It was the time for fixing things: a curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things we keep.

It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, re-heating leftovers, renewing; I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there'd always be more.

But when my mother died, and I was standing in that clear morning light in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any more.

Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away...never to return. So... While we have it, it's best we love it... And care for it... And fix it when it's broken... And heal it when it's sick.

This is true: For marriage... And old cars... And children with bad report cards. Dogs and cats with bad hips... And aging parents... And grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep, like a best friend that moved away or a classmate we grew up with.

There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special...And so, we keep them close!​

 

[babetoo]

I just got this in one of those mass mail emails and really felt it was fitting for DC right now....and any time for that matter. There was no author or anything so I hope it is okay to post it here.

A Keeper
Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away. I can see them now, Dad in trousers, work shirt and a hat; and Mom in a house dress, lawn mower in one hand, and dish-towel in the other. It was the time for fixing things: a curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things we keep.

It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, re-heating leftovers, renewing; I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there'd always be more.

But when my mother died, and I was standing in that clear morning light in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any more.

Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away...never to return. So... While we have it, it's best we love it... And care for it... And fix it when it's broken... And heal it when it's sick.

This is true: For marriage... And old cars... And children with bad report cards. Dogs and cats with bad hips... And aging parents... And grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep, like a best friend that moved away or a classmate we grew up with.

There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special...And so, we keep them close!​

wonderful, made me weepy.

babe

 

[Maverick2272]

I had to cut and paste it into Word to enlarge and read it, but very nice and worth the effort. Thanks!

 

[MexicoKaren]

Laurie, thanks so much for starting this thread and for posting the reminder that we all probably needed to hear. My life right now is unbelievably blessed, and I remind myself constantly that I did nothing to deserve this - it is a gift. When I tell people that, many of them say, "But of course you deserve it - you worked hard your whole life; you have had sadness and sickness and heartache, etc." And all of that is true. BUT - there are so many good people in this world (better people than me, many of them) that never have the opportunity to enjoy life the way I am doing now. It is so important to cherish each day and be grateful for it. Seems to me that Katie and Buck did just that, sitting on their front porch watching the fireflies and the kitties each night. I am so sorry they are going through this sadness. This has put all of us into a thoughtful and prayerful frame of mind. Thanks for helping me express that, Laurie.

 

[LPBeier]

Do you know how your day can start out one way and do a sudden 180 and be completely different? Well, last night I was helping DD plan her wedding for September 6th when she ran into several snags with her family and with our Pastor who didn't want to marry them if they lived together for the next three months.

These kids truly love each other and have been through so much with health and family. It was so sad to see them so up one minute and so down the next.

Well, they talked and prayed and consulted with us and others in their life and at 6:00 pm tonight we are going to our local park and they are quietly getting married in the Japanese garden there.

Her family thinks they are totally crazy and his family is so estranged he is not telling them (we are going to be the "parents of the groom"). I personally see their love for each other in their eyes and I remember how this is very similar to how and why we got married in our backyard under an apple tree. I know this will work for them.

They are going to move in for awhile until they get back on their feet financially and that is more than okay with us. They will be a big help for me when I am incapacitated and also it is just good to have them close.

I know they will take a lot of flack for what they are doing, but I know they have really reached deep inside themselves and this is the right thing to do.

We will have a big reception in a month or so when things settle down and I am really looking forward to that.

 

[Fisher's Mom]

Congratulations, Laurie! It sounds lovely!!! This really does sound like the right thing. Those 2 love each other and don't want to stir up a feuding family anymore than they already are. We have a Japanese garden here, too, and it is the site of many, many weddings. I know it will be gorgeous. And we also need a little joy here at DC right now to remind us that there is sweet with the bitter as well as the other way around. I hope you will take lots of pictures so that we can share in this lovely event. (I know you will be a lovely mother of the bride and groom.)

 

[DawnT]

Laurie, That is absolutely wonderful!! BTW, it is almost what DH and I did, we had a Justice of Peace and then a reception a month later. Congratulations to the "parent" of the bride and groom. You must be soooo proud!! Thank you for such great news. Dawn ;>)

 

[luvs]

wow! that's great that they're getting married!
can't wait to hear 'bout thier reception!

 

[Maverick2272]

Sounds wonderful, please post some pics afterwards!

 

[LPBeier]

I originally started this post during a time of sadness here at DC because we lost one of our own. It was to be a place in between venting and smiling and celebrating, where we could come and just reflect on our lives.

I am at a point of reflection once again.

1. My relationship with my daughter is still estranged but I know we did what we had to do and love always wins in the end.
2. I have been through 2 knee surgeries and and doing well, but not healing as fast as they would like
3. DH's temporary job didn't become permanent as we hoped, but he has been applying and these jobs seem even better.
4. We had our place flooded out by a sewer problem and while it was a harrowing experience, it is forcing us to go through stuff and really decide what is important and what can go. It is kind of a physical and emotional cleaning house.
5. All the above is showing me that GIG, even in the bad.
6. It is also showing me what wonderful friends I have here at DC and in my life.

Is there anything you are reflecting upon in your life right now?

 

[Adillo303]

Hi Laurie,

It is amazing to me that the more you live life, the more that you have in common with others.

1) My relationship with my DD is great right now. In fact she has said that she speaks with her father every day and it is the high point of her day. It gets no better than that. There was a time that we did not speak for at least two years. I was going through a divorce and she was going through wild times. She never got a long with her mom a lot and still doesn't. No fights, just not a relationship. we had a falling out and I missed some of my grandchildren's early years.

2) I have two artificial hips and they gave me my mobility and life back, but, I do know the pain before and the healing. Knees are harder. Keep at it, it is great to be mobile again.

3) Work is slow and bittersweet. I am self employed. ome days I would just like to fire my self and apply for benefits. Ithere may be a job in the offering. It would mean giving up my business that I have had for close to, or over 20 years. It has been my life's dream. Closing a business that can feed me, evern, minimally at times and working for someone in the depressed American economy is cause for a lot of reflecting.

4) I have not been flooded, ecently, but, my first thoughts when I read of it were about going through your life's memories and seeing how much of your past that has been lost. I have had this happen at a few points in my life.

5) I hope for guidance, as I hope that you will be guided. I take strength in "That which does not kill us, makes us stronger" and "If he brings you to it, he will bring you through it."

Funny about DC - DC cares - AC

I wish you and yours the best.

 

[sattie]

Laurie... you are a gem! It is refreshing to read your post and I know what you mean and what you are saying. We are here for you, we will support you, and if you even need a sholder to lay your head on, well, we are here for that too! I'm thankful for having the opportunity to get to know you better and I really think you are a blessing to this forum girlie!!! I luv ya!!

 

[miniman]

Laurie, I missed this when you started it, it is a great ides - so I often I am neither happy or really down - just a bit sad. At the moment I just don't know about my main job - I have three part time ones. This is deputy of a pre school. I love working with children, love seeing them grow and mature, but we now have so much paper work that has to be done and completed that it depresses me. I want to do it all but there is so much work involved.

 

[LPBeier]

Adillo, thanks for the peek into your life and all the similarities. It is funny how when we look at others we see so much of ourselves.

Sattie, you are sweet. And I have a shoulder for you as well. I am hoping that this thread can be a place where we can all just say what's on our minds.

And miniman, I feel for you with your job. DH and I gave up our internet business because the administration was getting in the way of really being able to look after our clients, much the same as you and the kids. And you really have the right idea about this thread - it is not about being happy, sad, mad....it is just about being.

Thanks all for sharing and I hope others will as well.